#I have energy and focus

[amalg-em]

Tbh when it comes down to it I'm just incredibly lonely. Having a domestic partner doesn't change that when you throw in multiple disabilities and poverty. It doesn't matter to loneliness if you live with someone if that person is usually unavailable. Nor does the existence of "friends" mean anything if those people are only around for the rare shared activity or meal.

The absence of loneliness requires regular shared time, vulnerability, shared struggle, and some degree of intimacy (it can be emotional, platonic, whatever). At least for me. And none of those things are available to me. Some of it is being in my 30s and only knowing people who are always busy. Some of it is being neurodivergent and the trauma that comes with that that's taught me not to dare to ask for anything because the moment I do I'll be cut off. Some of it is being a fat transmasc, because even among fellow queers the intersection of unattractive + masculine means I lack value in other people's eyes.

But honestly it doesn't matter who well you can break it down into factors, because at the end of the day none of these things are going to change. I can't go back to the performance of gender I had before I knew what I was. I can't undo the trauma that I've experienced that taught me to shut up and keep my head down to avoid getting hurt. I can't give people less busy lives with more time for joy in them, nor can I change the fact that when they do have time I'm not enough of a priority to spend it on.

It's going to keep being how it is now, and I'm just going to have to learn to accept that, but I hate it and I don't want to.

[swordsonnet]

i'm sorry but i don't think we should call this the "autism website" when there's still posts with tons of notes mocking people who:

struggle with social skills / have anxiety around social settings

are unemployed / unable to work certain jobs

have intense or "age-inappropriate" interests

haven't had certain life experiences that are deemed universal/essential

struggle with personal hygiene

don't have any friends or dating experience

don't go outside much or at all

take things literally / don't get sarcasm/jokes

have unusual ways of speaking

generally aren't "normal"

[melimelotus]

entertaining the idea of eeveelutions as survivors of their own type. evolving when struck by lightning or caught in a fire/explosion as a way to survive

[uncanny-tranny]

Hey, if you have speech impediments, you are so amazing.

If you stutter or have a lisp or misspeak easily or you have a flat affect or a limited verbal vocabulary or if your voice is AAC or if you just have a difference in your vocality, you are so incredibly important and amazing.

Just know that your voice is yours. Nobody will ever be able to truly take it away. Your voice is part of you, and you deserve to make it as true to you as you deem fit. I hope you have the space to grow with your voice and whatever about it makes it unique.

[hai-nae]

meant to post these sketches a few days ago? a week? but, well, life.

[ddruxyart]

At this point the bully has become the bullied but he keeps coming back for more??

[skyshroom]

‘When you think about me, why do you always bring up the ball?’ Fabian is not beating the gay allegations this episode unfortunately

[time-slink]

another quick n dirty bdubs build painting they’re so fun <33

[puppyeared]

learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way

[nicecrumbart]

Trying a new style/study (again)

[larabar]

"so, that was fun"

[syn4k]

to be, or not to be (romanticization of the inevitable)

[mud-castle]

Nutmeg: Your help today was invaluable, Scourge. Thank you. Scourge: Uh- yeah...sure...whatever

The leader of Hope Colony and her emo, emotionally-constipated second taking a stroll after a mission.

More info under the cut:

It dawned on me that there would be a fairly large time gap between Scourge and Nutmeg's experiences with the clans. Now, I could make Scourge younger, but I think I can make it work

So, Tiny makes it out of his house, barely alive with some fresh wounds and his collar broken off, and runs into the city after a forest cat raid. While he never does the whole dog and Bloodclan thing, he does grow skilled in ways to survive in the city and builds his own reputation.

Four years afterwards, a new name is sweeping the city, Nutmeg. A kittypet who not only managed to save two of her kittens in a raid but killed a forest cat while she was at it...and lived. She rapidly gains followers and builds up a group she names the Hope Colony.

Their mission: Keep the forest cats out of their homes and away from their kits by any means necessary.

Scourge is down for getting some forest cat blood on his claws and breaks his four years of routine to join. Having lived most of his life by himself, he's difficult to work with initially, but they help each other and eventually get along. Eventually, he becomes her second.

Nutmeg has a very warm, friendly personality. She's very charismatic and people-oriented. She generally prefers to try diplomacy, even with forest cats. If that fails, she turns to the power of incredible violence.

Scourge is always down for the power of incredible violence. He's well known for doing the "dirty work" of the Hope Colony, mostly because that's what he's good at. On the inside, however, he's struggling to live in a group after spending most of his life watching out for only himself.

Bro barely remembers to eat most days yet now he's supposed to keep up with the dynamics of the different city groups as well as forest cat issues. ugh. Politics.

As seen in the photo, Nutmeg freely gives compliments and expresses gratitude. Scourge is unsure how to react to the feelings this brings up.

Designs:

Nutmeg is now buff because Nutmeg deserves to be buff. And Squilf gets her tail from her grandma. She has scars on her side and on the eye hidden by her bangs from Thunderclan's raid on her home. The other scars are from the many fights she's been in since then. She still lives with her humans, though she's gone much of the day to run the Colony.

Scourge now has his iconic red bangs because I can't give him his edgy personality and not have them there. The fur naturally grows like that because I said so. The scars on his leg is from the forest cat raid he escaped from. The ones on his face are from random fights. He's also underweight cause he forgets to eat when in a work mindset.

[its-your-mind]

guys guys guys

I have done some personal soul searching and I know why jonathan jarchivist sims made the professional decisions he made when he was a Newly Minted Head Archivist

He tried to apply logic to the managerial decisions of a megalomaniac kind-of-immortal servant of a fear god, who was at the time posing as a Respectable Director of an Academic Institution

like listen. clearly jonah did not give a single flying fuck whether or not the archive was organized. all he wanted was for jon to nom on some statements and get soul-tattooed by nightmare-fuel until he was good and traumatized enough to read like… a couple dozen words that would end the world.

But jon doesn’t know that! So he’s a researcher at this academic institution, and he receives a promotion out of nowhere into a completely different department. Obviously, he thinks, elias knows what he’s doing - he wouldn’t be in charge if he didn’t.

So now jon’s trying to reverse engineer the logic, because there must be logic and he’s not going to question the head of the institute. Like, you look at me and tell me you think S1 jonathan sims, wearing his armor of Prickly Academic, is going to admit that he has no idea what he’s doing to the person who has just promoted him. Definitely not.

So why, jonathan sims asks himself, would elias bouchard promote someone from the research department into this position? Obviously he feels that, along with reorganizing the archive, it’s necessary to go back and research all the statements down there!

And then jon poked that theory a bit by asking for tim and sasha to be transferred with him, and elias gave him the green light! So now you’ve got three researchers, and elias throws in one librarian assistant (who has a lot of experience, but not the background needed to guide the whole team), and so jon assumes that the job of the archive is proportionate: 3/4 research, 1/4 cataloguing, with the department guided by the researchers.

I’m gonna go ahead and assume that the only concrete direction jon was given was to “create audio recordings of the statements.” And thus, we have an archive that spends most of its time on research, creates borderline-impossible-to-reference audio recordings, and then catalogues almost as an afterthought.

[leofrith]

obviously the quality of all these shows is suffering from the fact that their primary function is to provide the setup for future star wars projects (mcuification, baby!!! who's ready for the infinity war style team-up movie where the gang takes down thanos—i mean thrawn?). but i also think a big part of why the book of boba fett, mando s3 (and to a slightly lesser extent, s2 as well), and ahsoka all suffer from the same issue of having their main protagonists cast aside in favour of side characters—which in itself might not be as annoying as it is if those stories were even remotely interesting or well-written—is because filoni & co. want to be making an ensemble piece. but instead, they're stuck having to make a bunch of solo projects that are ostensibly about individuals or smaller casts of characters, which they then stumble their way through in the most half-assed, half-hearted way possible because it's all just setup for the "mandoverse movie," a phrase which makes me want to projectile vomit.

[mysterycitrus]

rediscovering the joy of writing original fiction without worrying about a 1k+ issue comic backlog worth of reading material