#I have been unwell

[i-like-plan-m]

Update: in the half shade of my thorns

Chapter 10 is now posted to Ao3!

[peggy-sue-reads-a-book]

Not to be a walking cliche and have my nervous breakdown right on Tumblr, but I’m calling this my Fantine era

[mythalism]

ok ok listen. mythal and solas's fucked up relationship puts everything about solavellan into context. how hyper-aware he was of the unequal power dynamic in their relationship, his guilt over his own desire for her and how he pulls away every time, the overwhelming feeling of falling in love with a god(dess), he tells mythal "i would follow you anywhere" and if lavellan begs him in trespasser to let her follow he refuses her. "i would not have you see what i become" and "there is only death on this journey". he will not drag her into his mess the way mythal dragged him into hers. he will not pollute her from her purpose the way mythal polluted him. he will not allow her the guilt and blood on her hands because he was her. he has been in her exact position, yearning for a god's affections and willing to follow them anywhere. and he loves her too much to treat her the way he was treated. of course he cannot be with her. of course he has to leave her. and he can only allow her to join him when he is freed of his burden and his path changes to one of atonement. of course she can join him in his atonement, even if it is ugly. because it will not sully her hands with blood. he can only accept her love and support when he knows it will not come at the cost of her morality and the good person she is. everything he does to her, even the betrayal, is to avoid subjecting her to the exact same thing mythal subjected him to.

[hinamie]

been thinking a normal amount about just how Strong yuuji is

[thefrsers]

#soulmates fr😭

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

im a simple guy! i think about puppy Barnaby. i promptly explode into bloody heart-shaped confetti

[thessaralka]

you know what compels me about solas is he's a watcher. he knows all this shit that could totally help you out, but he lets you figure it out for yourself. keepts his mouth shut the entire time and just observes.

you're telling me this thousands-of-years old dude has NEVER been to the temple of mythal? where there are statues dedicated to him?? he has NEVER been inside a titan? no he absolutely has, and he's saying nothinggggg about it.

apart from the fact that he knows exactly what caused the breach and why, the blights, the evanuris, he also knows a bunch more shit about everything you're doing, and he's just along for the ride while you figure it all out by yourself, which he lets you do btw bc you're a smarty mc smartypants and he trusts that you're intelligent enough to do so. or not. he could probably care less (but if you constantly pleasantly surprise him, he cares).

you could argue that he's verbose, but compared to what he knows - thousands of years of knowledge - he gives us nothing. he's a fae creature. he lets us believe half truths and misdirects us constantly. he knows all this stuff, but never lets us in on it, thatttt intrigues me.

[preqvelle]

x

[wisteriagoesvroom]

call me crowdstrike cus my brain just bluescreened

[plasma-packin-peep]

Do you guys ever think about this panel. Do you think about how in this moment he realizes he’s about to be killed by the demon and he is SMILING!!!!!!! He’s about to fulfill his one remaining desire, the one he hasn’t even admitted to himself, and it’s all finally going to be over.

Because I’m thinking about it a lot, in fact I actually cannot stop thinking about it

Bonus in case thinking about it made you depressed:

💞💝💕💖💗💕💓💞💝💕💖💗💖YOUR NEW LIFE BEGINS HERE!!💝💞💖💗💕💓💞💝💗💕💖💕💝💞

[cspcrashing]

🥃: what ? did i miss discipline time, boss ? 🪽: are you that much of a glutton for punishment, hound ? 🥃: now, now. this old dog prefers to mind his business. you, on the other hand keep showing up. does it turn you on to have me at your mercy or somethin'? 🪽 : be silent. 🥃 : *whistles* hit the nail on the head, huh.

[bluestjayy]

"If Ryan climbed on me, we could take on Goatman." - The Famous Last Words of Shane Madej

Ghost Files Live - Glasgow (25.04)

📸 by Me

[s-aint-elmo]

girl who has suffered more than alll-mer

(ID in alt text)

[trauma-bot]

sin eater

[hinamie]

色彩 [Shikisai]

[starry-bi-sky]

mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.

now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.

He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.

(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)

The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.

The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.

And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.

(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)

The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.

anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)