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This remains one of the funniest things I’ve ever read in my life

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remember abdi smokes

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~ The Whittier News, December 5, 1903

Mr. M. R. Hadley is out of jail and will sell 18 pounds of sugar to any child capable of carrying it. Otherwise he will deliver in seventeen minutes. Not fifteen or twenty. Seventeen.

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At the Nosferatu in 35mm showing last night, the host told everyone to keep off your phones and don't talk or else he would "send a burly man to suck you dry" and I really don't think that guy considered his choice of words, it wasn't really the threat he intended

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The after breakfast prayer

One dip of a cookie

Into my hot tea or coffee

Is good enough for me

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when its Touch His Nipples Tuesday during Fuck His Ass August

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I'm going to share with you my casserole recipe. My casserole recipe taught me a few things. It will teach you a few things. Making a casserole is not a big motivation for me but it's America to make a casserole. All women do it. Some men do it but mostly women. It's American culture. So let's make a casserole. If you have to cook, I will share with you my casserole recipe.

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this is how i feel replying to my mutuals posts

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I do think we need some sort of sweeping legislation to permanently ban Mormons from all creative fields but especially music

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themdrick theymar nope thats nothing

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i honestly don't even know why i made this... and it took so long x.x