#I have been contemplating | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sethdomain · 1 year ago

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this would've been me if i was not raised with my mother and father

#ignorelist #☺️☺️☺️#I have been contemplating #you know #maybe its NICE to have a parent that fucking cares about you emotionally and cares about you as a person #maybe i want parent that fucking give me rules #maybe i want my parent to care more about me #but of course #the staple of phraud family is always how fucking UNCARING and APATHETHIC they can fucking be #when did anyone in this numbhole fucking care #we are too buried in our business to even know or understood each other #we were never ever fucking close ever #i dont even know what my sister or brother fucking like #and we as family also never even fucking know each other as a person #do my mom know what my sister fucking likes? No she fucking dont #does my sister know what i like? no she doesnt #AND I DONT EITHER #maybe this family was by design is cruel and uncaring #but idc lalalala i have other relatives that i fucking care more anyway and they also care for me #All i need nnow is just IRL friend that is fucking active and not a fucking slob that doesnt want to go outside :/ and maybe i can cope #being in this brain dead family #yk ironically my aunt pay attention to what i want more than my mom :x #like dont get me wrong im grateful for the thing she buys for me but she always are #ccontrolling.... on what i should be as a person #If i want a clothe she will pick one out for me and its the very style i fucking hate even though i already told her i do not like that sty #if i want things for me and for what i want its always what SHE wants #its probably the very reason on why i dont want to buy clothe with her ever...Or buy clothe

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madamemiz · 1 year ago

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sad: falling out of a hyperfixation

tragic: watching your beloved friends and mutuals fall out of the hyperfixation while you're still in it

#oughhhhhhh #this is about the dca fandom but also about every other strong fixation ive had over the years lol #i know it's normal and inevitable esp for less popular works or minor characters with little canon content #and there's nothing wrong with smaller communities of course those rock #but there’s just something special about getting into something at the same time as a lot of other people all at once #and existing in this chaotic fandom space that's just bursting with creativity and passion #i've been in fandom spaces for as long as some of you have been alive and i've only come across that sort of unbridled joy like #a handful of times at best #it's just a heartbreaking feeling to see real lightning in a jar fandoms like that wither away as people drift away #(understandably so!)#anyway don't mind me i'm just having thoughts #musing about fandoms past as well #that i too eventually moved on from but remember fondly even if im not active in anymore #also my music just aint hitting right so im just sitting in silence which makes me more Contemplative(tm)

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breakbleheavens · 3 months ago

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I LOVE YOU, I'M SORRY The Secret of Us Tour — New York City, New York (Night 3) | October 14, 2024

#gracie abrams #gabramsedit #gracieabramsedit #the secret of us #the secret of us tour #tsou tour #I love you I'm sorry #musicedit #dailymusicians #dailymusicqueens #dailywomen #femalegifsource #femaledaily #*mine #*2024 #*gifs #wanted to gif this when I watched the video when it came out the other day but I had an assignment due rip #I have been contemplating getting a ticket to n3 as well but I shall see what else happens on may 4 😅

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kimeoshi · 8 months ago

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I love you spy churin, I'd let you play hot wheels on me

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mothwithapencil · 3 months ago

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Transformers ships become infinitely more enjoyable when you consider The Polycules. This happened in tfone I was there

#i have been contemplating not posting tf art here anymore but this did numbers on twitter so I'm testing the waters #moths art #transformers #decepticule #starwaves #← it's both of these. teehee #megatron #shockwave #starscream #soundwave

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journey-to-the-attic · 1 year ago

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happy fnaf movie (uk) release day!

#art #obey me #it's 5am and i can't sleep but i managed to finish this in time so who's the real winner here #fnaf #obey me lucifer #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #jtta ik #fnaf saga #can you tell that i've developed a love for those big cartoony shock eyes since i first used them in the rpg comic #i feel like i've been drawing lucifer too much recently so i did contemplate using a different brother #but the scenario wasn't as funny with anyone else #in hindsight barbatos could've been funny but i'm not redrawing all that to put him in #i keep wanting to draw some cute dadcifer stuff but i feel like i ought to balance him out with some other characters first #luckily i have a Massive reserve of shitposts to apply them to #also i KEEP meaning to do more of those cat picture redraws but i keep not getting around to it

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sotvtaughtmehowtofeel · 1 year ago

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Want to write a comment on AO3 but don’t know how? Lemme help! Choose as many of these prompts as you like:

1. What was your favorite part?

2. How did it make you feel? Did you laugh out loud? Did you cry? What parts made you feel something?

3. What emotion were you left with when you finished the chapter?

4. Did any particular lines stick out to you? Which ones?

5. Did something remind you of something from the source material? Talk about that!

6. Did anything surprise you?

7. Did anything stand out to you?

I know some people get anxious writing comments but I PROMISE YOU you will make the writer’s day! Even if you just pick one of these things to elaborate on in your comment, the writer will appreciate it! If you write a long comment, the writer will remember it for ages!!

YOU CAN WRITE THE BEST COMMENT SOMEONE HAS EVER GOTTEN!! I believe in you!! 💜 please feel free to reach out if you have any questions or doubts!

#ive been thinking a lot about fandom and community lately #idk it seems like tiktok is so consumptive and tumblr has always been so interactive #but that seems less and less true these days #(the erosion of tag culture is so sad to me)#ao3 in some ways seems to have maintained the interactive culture more than tumblr #and i just feel like fandom benefits so profoundly when it’s a community #idk just ~contemplating~#fanfiction #ao3 #writing #fanfic #fandom

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blabberoo · 9 months ago

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daily dose of driftcells..

#dead cells #hyper light drifter #the beheaded #bobby #driftcells #i was gonna make another comic but so many things happened and im just too overwhelmed :")#been struggling for a while im eepy #and so i draw angst LMAO #also DRIFTER FACE hehe #also i kept forgetting his species have a tail. at least some of them. and im contemplating whether to give him one or not #my art

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paragonraptors · 6 months ago

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my latest origins run has had a slightly higher body count than anticipated

#in my quest for ghost pope stellian has also killed the one companion who liked him without being manipulated #i know this could have been avoided but after much contemplation the tragedy was compelling to me #dragon age #stellian surana #my art #wip? maybe we'll see

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crossbackpoke-check · 7 days ago

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blessed be (lorscher bienensegen) | telling the bees (wiþ ymbe)

"Bees" [remixed, abridged], Claudia Emerson // "Letter to Someone Living Fifty Years from Now" [remixed. abridged], Matthew Olzmann // "Letter to my Great, Great Grandchild" [remixed, abridged], J.P. Grasser | Len Redkole, Nina Weiss, Brian Babineau, Christian Peterson, Mitchell Leff, Dave Isaac, Megan DeRuchie

#liv in the replies #if i were insane there would be an appendix to this called telling the bees however i finished this at 3am yesterday its nearly midnight &#my cutoff is when my ahl asg stream cuts. GOD by now i should know when i save a poem like hmm. not applicable but god it'd be perfect #THAT'S A CURSE. DON'T PUT IT IN THE DOCUMENT. DON'T SAVE IT. FORGET YOU READ IT. IT'S A CURSE!! <- things i should've told myself when i #went to read bees was already like 👀 &then the first line was FUCKING CLAUDE!!!!! anyway. sorry also this is like. insanely long but ALSO #regarding mf claude. the first picture is a leftover from the claude edit i made years ago so that feels GREAT and BEAUTIFUL & also for me #as ever y'all will be getting a full breakdown. starting with what i regularly have a breakdown about every time i see it which is joelle's #james 1:12 tattoo which if u use the king james version (gay) is blessed is he who perseveres under trial because having stood the test he #will receive the crown of life the lord has promised to those who love him. which i always go blessed is he who perseveres // for those who #love him. and that's joel. ignoring him getting it then getting sent down on his birthday IGNORING IT. also we know the frosty/maple leafs #hahaha fuck the flyers lore right? good. that's morgan and his dad also bc i love a baby picture & it was perfect. also the dave isaac pic #next was in an article talking about morgan 'stung' by draft camp. shut UP. i have an alt for tells him with claude and ALSO hate the #elephant w/phil bc myesie u fuckin leaf-eater (giraffe) but i love the composition of that jake shot & had to use it (it was also almost #tells him) with thylacine jakey frog nolan also raff the extinct whale bc i needed him here. if my editing on incapable of joy is bad no on #tell me i did some SHENANIGANS to put morgan in there & color-pick/alter his jersey. new skill. i think euphoria is one of my favorite for #the sake of pride night but ALSO that polaroid kills me very time &they're so stoners contemplate the universe but ALSO i love transcendenc #so that whole three photo string i think is my favorite. and i was in looking at these like listen okay it's okay there are only so many #photos in the world. you can repeat from others you've seen before. except ALSO there's so many of these freaks together do you separate #and every time i was like there can't be more there was more. don't ask the number of back-ups for the sweetest blossom/pinch/ruffle sets #okay also the ready to be stung one was a surprise favorite fit for me because i love that line but wasn't sure how to convey it? so it's o #i think with how morgan's face is and the almost of it all. yes joel hardest trier is in there purely for me i do have an alt but. how coul #u doubt him. insert sasha's tweet abt how much joel loves philly but all his quotes have been abt being excited for morgan to have a fresh #start. AND NOT EVEN TWO MINUTES IN CALGARY AND YOU'RE STILL INSEPARABLE god i literally googled frost farabee calgary to find the last #blessed [because. heard but not seen you know of everyone traded but you went together. not seen. (which ties into the terrible appendix)]#and IT DIDN'T EVEN TAKE ME TWO MINUTES TO FIND THAT!!! WHAT DO YOU MEANNN anyway. sorry again it's so long & also i will be vanishing a wee #& a half after posting [redacted] is kicking my ass & im doing [redacted fun things WAIT ACTUALLY U CAN KNOW ONE i'm seeing hippo campus]#morgan frost #joel farabee #philadelphia flyers #calgary flames

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beatcroc · 2 years ago

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there's no way the bathroom at peppino's pizza is actually that big but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . hey ummm anyway.... i care them...... anyway there's a lil ramble on my take on fake pep's like psyche or whatever in tags on the og post if ur into that kinda thing :y

hey! it's a series! fake peppino world tour: [noise] [noisette] [peppino]<- u are here [gustavo] [gerome] [noisette again]

#ramble after realtags yeag. shoutout to serrangelic btw suggesting the silhouettes thing bc i would have Died otherwise #pizza tower #peppino spaghetti #fake peppino #gustavo and brick #arting #pizzaposting #so anyway i think fake peppino has like. a general awareness that he is supposed to Be Peppino and that he was Made to do that #and likewise he does generally try to...do that. the thing he does NOT realize is hes like really goddamn bad at it #not to be mean but like...c'mon. they are pretty distinctly different kinds of guys even beyond the physiology yknow.#he's neither on-brand nor fooling anyone dsjdsjjkgfsd. BUT!#since the rest of the cast generally likes him [at least as I play it] he thinks hes doing just fine #he's like 'oh they r happy with me so i must be getting a good grade in being peppino :)'#so getting told that 'yeah you actually really suck at that but that was never the reason people liked you'#and told that by og model peppino no less--yknow THE guy he's supposed to be living up to #who's already a bit intimidating for that and who ALSO totally wrecked him TWICE in the tower #making him acutely familiar with just how formidable the guy is and how much there IS to live up to....#it's a Moment for sure. not really a sad or hurt one though. just... contemplative.#thinking abt people liking him for being the guy he's already naturally been being even though that guy is Not Peppino #i don't think he's gonna be super broken up about realizing he has a bad grade in peppino given everything else hes got now #nor do i really think he cares enough to go like reinvent himself or whatever after the fact #he seems to b pretty clearly having fun with it already so i think he just keeps doing that #and in some cases he still has the pre-installed peppino traits/instincts like to cooka da pizza. and that's fine #is this projection. yes. but if youve been following me awhile you know most of my character writing is ghdhfdgf #gonna kinda expand on all this in the gerome one which is...one after next. itll be a bit but man.#anyway peppino will never admit to anyone and especially not himself that he's gotten a little attached to the guy. hee hoo #pep tends to be kinda surly but he certainly has his ways of showing he cares. all of which are on display here #''that thing is not my son'' says man currently watching thing's antics with the 'bemused dad' arms crossed pose. yeah ok buddy.#gus is totally onto him already but hes not gonna say anything.#if u read all this ur prize is not having to go decode fp's rot13. his lines are ''meant to be you...?'' and ''wrong question.''

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deliriousblue · 2 months ago

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delicious that we’ve spent half the show with kant and style pretending to be in love with bison and fadel while actually falling in love with them and now we get to watch bison and fadel pretend to be in love with kant and style while actually being in love with them

#it’s about the horrible warped symmetry of it all. fun for ME #actually being in love with them and also contemplating a little murder. multitudes!!#they know and now they know that they know and they don’t know that they know that they know….#i’ve been putting some posts in drafts for when i have time to ponder them but i absolutely cannot keep up with my dash this week 😭#message or @ me if there’s something you want me to see #the heart killers

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stonelions · 19 days ago

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been thinking about protecting trans youth as an older trans person who took a long time to arrive here. (an ongoing arrival).

while i am unequipped to do anything in most material senses, something i thought might be nice to have is a collection of writing and art from people who came to their transness later on. right now, bad actors really do treat it as a youth "epidemic" but for those of us who were denied the option in youth, either maliciously or through lack of information...

well, we must have thoughts, right? maybe enough for a zine? just. putting a feeler out there

#gender #queer tag #i have been sick w flu #on the floor for three days. contemplating.#idk idk

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br-disaster · 3 months ago

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My take on Baxia and Huaisang's unnamed saber, inspired by CQL's designs

#cql fanart #mdzs fanart #baxia #nie mingjue #nie huaisang #by extension lol #baxia gets no sleeves because she has no scabbard #nhs' saber gets brown robes because he has what looks like a wooden scabbard #i couldn't get a good picture of the patterns on said scabbard though so the belt is an approximation of what's actually engraved in it #baxia on the other hand has many many nice shots so i tried to fit as many patterns and textures and details as possible #i know she's not evil but the blood was fun #(and she's often a little bloody so i guess its fine)#i've been calling nhs' saber suan ni (狻猊) in my mind to keep the nine sons of the dragon naming theme but i'm not sure if the fonts i found #are right about the mythical creature actually being calm and contemplative rather than hardworking and fierce so i decided not to add #the name on the drawing #i could have made him fancier bc the scabbard if very nice but since nhs doesn't use it i thought he should look more plain #i tried not to make them 'nmj as a girl and nhs in brown clothes' but alas it is what it is now ><

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3-aem · 6 days ago

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deeply perplexed by the idea that you can draw a 1x1 square but if you draw a diagonal line between two points you’re telling me that that value is irrational and infinite even though you literally just drew the line But Also theres no specified unit for this square so is the square root of 2cm vs 2 inch vs 2 cosmic measurements hypothetically sometimes rational

#delete later #no i am genuinely confused #and its been too many years since ive had to do any actual math #i also didnt sleep very well bc at the climax of my zombie nightmare my cat kicked me whilst stretching his dumb lil legs #and i woke up #so part of me feels like i just discovered the essence of mathematics that i have somehow not comprehended in all my undergrad #that dream was also wild i was in the mall of america #and the events were truly incomprehensible #i just know one moment i was contemplating if i should but a gift from bath and body works #and the next im lamenting over not doing a bread factory tour #and i acknowledge my fate being sealed #whilst my dream brothers head gets blown off #and then i am jokingly reenacting this with a college friend and we both duck into a bathroom like haha jokies #until a backroom entit

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bogkeep · 9 days ago

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hands of the emperor is very good so far, i've been reading it on my train commute for several weeks and i'm an entire... 20% in. oh this is a SLOW slow burn huh

#haiz reads things #the goblin emperor i devoured in like two days because i could barely put it down #and i think this is a nice book to read at a slower pace! it has a very contemplative vibe #and of course there's a lot of names and worldbuilding to take in so i think it'll go swifter the further i get in #it has been pitched to me as 'TGE from csevet aisavas perspective' which is not quite untrue #but also was not an accurate description of what to expect #there is some delicious magic bullshit (affectionate) going on #What Do You Mean Time Distortion. What Do You Mean You've Been Doing This Job For 900 Years #drops that bomb on me and does not elaborate. my patience will surely be rewarded #(also to be fair i read the prince webnovel for a bit so i only have myself to blame for the slow progress)

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