#I have a new show with marvelous characters who are all friends and have cool powers and I’m so delighted

[shannonallaround]

Guys I’m like a decade late to the fandom but I have watched a total of five Teen Titans episodes and I am already writing fanfic please send help.

[boxofbonesfic]

Title: E-Vite 4/20 [A New Hire interlude]

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Alpha!Mob!Ari Levinson x Naive!Omega!Reader

Word Count: 4,382

Summary: Ari’s mate finds herself invited to a brunch featuring more than just bottomless mimosas. 

Warnings: 18+ Only, Drugs, Recreational Drug Use,  Mob AU, Age Gap, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha!Ari, Darkfic, Breeding, Smut, MINORS DNI, Dead dove: Do not eat

A/N: i’m so sorry this is so late! but (i hope) it’s worth it! takes place roughly a week or so before reader and Ari leave for Paris. a little character development i think you’ll all enjoy. divider by @firefly-graphics​. dedicated to @cocobutterqwueen​, who prompted this work ❤️

This work is entirely unbeta’d, and unedited. Though I don’t own any of Marvel’s characters, this work and the plot contained inside are entirely mine. I do not consent for this work to be posted anywhere else by anyone but me. Enjoy 😘

You purse your lips, your brows drawing together critically as you stare at yourself in the mirror. You heave a dissatisfied sigh, brushing imaginary dirt from the hem of your white tennis skirt. 

 “Too much?” You mutter, rocking back and forth on the heels of your matching ivory sneakers. “It’s too much, isn’t it?” The silver charms on your bracelet jingle softly as you begin wiggling out of your skirt, trying to undo the hook-eye closure on the back. You aren’t expecting to see your mate there, leaned in the doorway of the walk-in closet with an amused smile playing at the edges of his full lips. 

 “Third outfit in fifteen minutes, Sweetheart. You nervous?” There’s a teasing note in his voice that makes you pout, shaking your head even though it’s obvious he’s right.  

“No, I’m not nervous.” You continue fiddling with the zipper until Ari closes his hands around yours. It’s silly, to be this anxious about meeting a bunch of people you’ve already been talking to for weeks, but you are. Joining Moms of Riverside County had been a whim. At most, you had expected to find new dinner recipes, maybe a few fun things to do with Liam. Instead, you’d found… a community? 

 Some of the members were a little out there, but there were far more good apples than bad. People posted pictures, shared memes— not pronounced “may-mays” as Ari had pointed out, to your embarrassment. There was even a group-chat, which you had recently been invited to—✨🔥 Cool Moms of Riverside County����✨, which had given you a good laugh. You weren’t particularly active yet, but even so you had been tagged and invited to a private brunch being hosted by one of the members you actually talked to with some regularity. 

  Come if you can! We’d love to see you! Sabrina’s casual message outside of the group chat had left you scrambling to respond last night, typing out at least thirty messages and showing them to Ari before deciding on one. 

  Okay! Thanks for inviting me, I wold love to come!

 “I-it’s just a facebook group thing.” You mumble, and he chuckles, kissing your forehead. 

 “It’s okay to be a little nervous about meeting your internet friends for the first time.” He must feel it in the bond, the electric apprehension running through every one of your limbs and down to the tips of your fingers and toes. “Just be yourself, Sweetheart. Trust me, they’ll love you.” He turns to exit the closet, but pokes his head back in. “And I like the skirt.” 

 An hour later, you’re in the Jeep on your way across town, Sabrina’s address punched into your phone’s GPS. You’re trying to think of potential conversation topics in your head, drumming your fingers against the steering wheel. You’d already checked the list of people in attendance—only ten, including you. 

  Exclusive.

 Sabrina’s house is half an hour outside of the city, nestled in the rolling hills off the highway. The private drive is blocked off by a wrought iron gate that you have to pull up to an intercom to get open. You lean out of the window, jabbing your thumb into the button. 

  “Yes? Who is it? Shh, Adrian!”

 You lick your lips nervously. “Um, it’s uh, it’s—”

  “Oh wait, I know who you are! I can see you on the camera. Come on in, girl!” The intercom buzzes loudly and the fence slides smoothly out of the way. It takes a full three minutes to get from the gate to the house, and when you pull up, there’s a line of expensive looking cars parked along the side. You take up the rear, taking a deep breath before hopping out. Gravel crunches under your feet, and as you’re heading up the stairs the front door opens. 

 “OhmyGod Hi!” You recognize Adrian from his pictures, his long dark hair piled up in a bun on top of his head. “How are you? Come in, come in,” he motions you forward with a wide smile. In one hand is a half full glass of wine, and he hugs you with the other. Underneath his rather fruity cologne is a distinctly Alpha scent, and when you pull away, you spot half a ring of teeth marks on the skin beneath his collar. 

 “Good, thanks,” you sputter, stepping over the threshold. It’s a monster of a house, the ceiling looming far above you. The air is heavy with the scent of warm sugar and brown butter, like someone’s baking. You cast a look around the foyer, there are pictures of Sabrina with her children, her husband—who just so happens to be the headmaster of Liam’s school. You toe off your shoes in the entryway, and Adrian scoffs. 

 “Oh, you don’t need to do that. Sabrina doesn’t give a shit about mud on her carpets,” he laughs. 

 “Habit, I guess,” you say, your own nervous laughter ringing awkwardly in the air with his. “I, um, have-have you been in the group long?” The questions you practiced in the car tangle confusedly together on your tongue. 

 “Like three years, I think?” He waves his hand as he shrugs. “But it got a lot more fun when Sab starting modding. Way more jokes.” He fixes you with a sly smile.  “Let’s go  get you a drink!” You tail Adrian through the house, and the sound of voices gets louder and louder as you go. The long hallway opens up into a massive kitchen, and a gaggle of people surround the marble island in the center of it, only a few of whom you recognize. 

 “Ladies,” Adrian claps his palm against his khaki-clad thigh, holding his wine glass aloft as he raises his voice to get their attention. “And gentle man,” he giggles, placing his palm against his chest, “Our last guest has arrived.” You duck your head in embarrassment as a little cheer ripples through the rest of the attendees.

 “Sorry I’m late, I think the e-vite said 4:20—”

 “Girl please.” You recognize Keisha’s fiery orange locs from her profile picture. “I just got here ten minutes ago. Sabrina! Girl where are you? You know I don’t know where you keep the glasses in this maze.” By your count, there are about seven people here, eight, including you. “Are you sure she’s the last one, Adrian? I thought Barb and Hannah were coming, too?”

 “Kayla’s got chicken pox, they cancelled this morning,” Adrian replies. “They’re fine, though, said she’s holding up well. Marathonning every episode of Bluey, apparently.” As the two of you join everyone else at the counter, Sabrina appears in the opposite doorway. 

 “Sorry, I went to get a lighter. Glasses are above the sink—hi! I’m so glad you could make it!” Sabrina is tiny, strawberry blonde curls piled on top of her head and secured with the biggest, pinkest bow you’ve ever seen. She reminds you of a Malibu Barbie—mansion and all. Sabrina rushes over to you, quickly depositing the tray of what looks like cigarette papers and lighters on the counter before hugging you tightly. 

 “Thanks for coming!” Sabrina looks genuinely happy to see you. They make room for you around the island. “I just moved here like a year and a half ago and it is so hard to make friends.”

 You let out a relieved breath. “I know exactly what you mean.” You had been nervous about coming, about whether or not you were actually going to fit-in . It feels like there are huge holes where general knowledge should be about how to act, what to say. All the culturally relevant gossip you know hit it’s expiration date a decade ago—but surprisingly, you don’t feel as terrified of that as you had been before arriving. 

 The conversation flows easily, and you finish your first glass of wine with a comfortable, warm buzz. Adrian makes it his business to serve the cooled cookies, and when you take two, he laughs. 

 “Okay, girl, I see you!” You blush as you bite down, gooey chocolate coating your tongue. 

 “I didn’t eat before I came,” you admit, polishing off the first cookie and starting on the second. “These are so good,” you add, and Sabrina preens. 

 “Thank you! I baked them myself.” Sabrina ducks down beneath the island countertop, and you hear the sound of a drawer rolling open, and then shut again. “I will admit I found the recipe online, though.” As she stands, she tosses a plastic bag of—

  Oh my God.

  Your eyes widen as the baggie of weed lands on the table, and they dart worriedly to the faces of everyone else there. No one seems surprised or upset, in fact, Keisha claps excitedly. 

 “Good,” she chirps, plucking a single paper from one of the packs on the silver tray. “I’ll roll.” 

 You shift nervously on your feet, unsure of what to do. You’ve never smoked before—the most you’ve ever done is drink alcohol, and even that you don’t do with any regularity. Ari’s beers in the fridge at home remain mostly untouched by you, and the occasional glass of wine is the extent of what you generally allow yourself. Not that you mind, really—

 You tap jittery fingers against the granite, and Adrian clucks his tongue at you. 

 “What’s wrong, babes?” His eyebrows crease with concern. “Not a joint person?” 

 “N-no?” You force yourself to calm down—these are all adults, and it’s not like it’s… illegal here, per-say. “I um, I haven’t actually ever… smoked. Marijuana.” 

 “You haven’t?” Sabrina’s gaze moves worriedly from your face to the half-eaten tray of cookies and back again. “Are you… kidding?”

 You sigh, dragging an embarrassed hand down your face. “No. Ugh, my… my parents were um. Really strict. Sorry. I’m not a narc or anything, I just, um, never really—” Sabrina grabs your hand with a soft smile and the rambling word vomit screeches to a halt. 

 “You don’t have to explain yourself at all. I just, well, I kind of thought you knew, to be honest.”

 “Knew?”

 “Yeah, it’s said 4/20 brunch, on 4/20,” she looks at you with a leading expression, but whatever reference she’s trying to make flies entirely over your head. You raise an eyebrow. 

 “That wasn’t… the time?”

 “420 means weed girl!” Adrian yelps, doubling over with raucous laughter. He rests a hand on his hip as he gasps for air. “This was a weed brunch!” You pinch the bridge of your nose, groaning. “Oh my God the cookies! You ate two of them!” Cold realization crosses your face as you turn to face them in horror. 

 “There was weed in the cookies!?”

 —

 Ari is waiting for you in the kitchen when you call—he’d been expecting you home half an hour ago, and though he wasn’t worried, he was beginning to get antsy. The bond is open—wide open, in fact—and your hazy amusement permeate it like smoke. 

 “Hi, Sweetheart. You okay?” He asks, and you giggle. 

  “ I’m good. I’m so-oo-oo good, ” you sing, drawing out the syllables. There’s a loud splash, and Ari raises an eyebrow as you gasp loudly through the receiver. 

  “Don’t drop your phone!”

 “I’m not gonna dro-op it,” you hiccough, and Ari can practically hear your pout. “She said I was going to drop my phone, but I’m not going to drop it—”

 “Kitten. What is—”

 “Can you come get me?” You say, cutting him off in a dreamy, small voice. “I don’t think I should drive. The floor is moving.” Ari pulls away from the phone, staring at it with confused, narrowed eyes.

 “The floor is… moving.” He repeats your babble, just to make sure he’s hearing it right. You heave a relieved sigh, as if he’s validated some previously held suspicion. 

 “Yes. And I really don’t think I should drive. I’m all wet.” 

 “Okay baby. Can you send me your friend’s address? I’m going to call Martine over in case Liam wakes up, and then I will come and get you.” 

 “Okay.” You hang up with no warning, leaving your confused and exasperated mate staring at his phone. It takes several minutes—and quite a few nonsensical strings of emojis—before the address comes through. 

  She’s drunk, he thinks to himself, shaking his head. A little wry smile plays at the edges of his mouth as he buckles himself into the Bentley. She has to be. He’s not upset as he turns out of the driveway, skirting generously around Martine’s car. He’s glad you’ve made friends—the tight fist your father had kept around your life has left a lasting impression, one Ari is eager to erase. 

 The traffic choking the highway eases as he circles around the city, the exit dumping him out into the rolling foothills on its outskirts. The address you’d sent him is one that takes him into familiar territory, and when he pulls up to the gate, it buzzes open before he has a chance to push the button on the intercom.

 Ari exits the vehicle, taking stock of each car lined up in the driveway—including yours. He pauses at the front steps, listening, before making his way around back instead. The sounds of music and laughter grow louder as he rounds the side of the house. Your scent is here too, cut with others and diluted by the smell of chlorine and charcoal smoke. The yard opens up before him, carefully manicured green surrounding the deeply set in-ground pool. 

 “I don’t remember inviting the mob.” An amused voice makes Ari turn, before he scoffs. 

 “You wouldn’t have to, Sabrina, you married it.” He replies, shaking his head before reaching down for a hug. “It’s been a while.” Sabrina tokes long and hard on the joint in her hand before she laughs. 

 “You’re telling me. What are you doing here?”

 “My mate is here.” Ari peers over Sabrina’s blonde head, squinting at the pool. “The one on the pizza floaty.” 

 You’re sprawled on the double-wide rubber float, chatting animatedly to a man sitting on the pool steps up to his waist. Sabrina claps her hands, loud, animated laughter escaping her grinning mouth. 

  “That’s your mate? Oh my God. I think—I think I’m gonna pee.” She doubles over, while Ari frowns down at her. “Sorry. Sorry. I just—Odd couple. In my defense, she is the sweetest person on earth, and you’re… you.” Ari purses his lips.

 “Yes, well, you’re related to me,” he says dryly. “I still don’t think you’ve forgiven me for putting worms in your hair.” 

 “I haven’t. It was disgusting.”

 “I was eight.” 

 Sabrina ignores him, flicking a honey-blonde lock over her shoulder before making her way over to the pool. She wades in, waving to get your attention. You look utterly relaxed, your limbs draped loosely across the floaty. Your fingers and toes trail in the water as a you drift. You sit up as Sabrina approaches, and for a moment, your wild hair is framed perfectly in the light of the setting sun.

  Little lioness.

 The words she speaks to you are snatched away by the wind as Ari approaches, squatting by the edge of the pool. You’re wearing a swimsuit you no doubt borrowed from Sabrina, a bikini he suspects is at least one size too small. Sliding off the edge of the pizza-shaped float, you wade over to him, a dopey smile on your face. 

 “Ari!” 

 “Hi, Kitten.” He leans down when you reach wet hands up to hug him. Ari doesn’t mind, drawing his fingers affectionately over your bare shoulders and back as he presses his face to the side of your throat. He can’t help but check. Underneath the heavy scent of the chlorine—and a light coating of weed-smoke—is your true scent. Just yours, like he’d known it would be. He kisses your forehead. You giggle. 

 “I did what you said,” you whisper loudly. “It worked! I just said, um, that I never smoked, but then I ate the cookie—two cookies, I think. Maybe more?” The story devolves into meaningless ramble that leaves Ari laughing. 

 “I’m glad you’re having a good time, Kitten.” 

 “So this is the mate.” A lanky Alpha with a joint in a rather fancy looking cigarette holder appraises Ari, his other hand resting on his hip. He offers it to shake. “Adrian. The pleasure is yours.” Ari shakes it. “We did try to keep her out of the pool but she made some very convincing arguments.” 

 “I see,” Ari replies, chuckling as you give a stout nod from the pool. “She does have a habit of getting her way.” The resulting pout that forms on your full lips is worth the half-truth. You make your way toward the pool ladder, slipping once before finding your footing. You’re sopping wet, water running in rivulets down your soft skin. Up close, the swimsuit you’re wearing is even smaller, the fabric straining to hold back the supple flesh of your breasts. 

 Ari clears his throat, and Adrian snickers. He shoots the other male an irritated look, but Adrian only grins. 

 “I packed you a to-go bag, chica. It’s in your purse. You crazy kids have a good night.” He winks, and you wave absently.

 “You too, Adrian!” You turn back to Ari. “He’s nice, right?”

 “Yeah,” he replies, dragging his eyes up from the curve of your hip where the tie is sinking sinfully into the soft skin there. “Nice. Where did you get this?” He fingers the spaghetti thin strap at your shoulder. Sabrina sidles up next to you with a knowing grin, looping her arm around your shoulders. 

 “Well, I couldn’t let her just jump in, Ari.” He levels an annoyed glare at her. “What kind of cousin would I be if I let your mate ruin her nice clothes?” You gasp exaggeratedly. 

  “Cousin?”

 “First or second, or something like that,” Ari grumbles. She laughs.

 “Remind me to tell you the worm story,” she replies conspiratorially, clapping you on the back. “You go get your clothes.” 

 “I’ll be right back,” You press a kiss to Ari’s cheek. He can’t help but watch you walk away, the damp fabric wedging itself neatly between the cheeks of your ass. God-fucking-dammit. 

 “It reeks out here,” he says, raising an eyebrow. “You’d better not be turning my mate into a pothead. I don’t want to have to get into weed distribution, you know how messy that is.” Sabrina waves a hand dismissively. 

 “Nonsense. Thad’s got a great thing going on with Rogers and Barnes on the east coast. He can cut you in if you want.” She winks. “I like her, you know. Genuinely had no idea she was, um. Yours.” Ari smiles, in spite of himself. 

 “It’s hard not to love her.” 

 Ari opts to wait out front, and he isn’t out there long before you stumble out clutching your purse. Your shirt is unbuttoned and untucked from your skirt, exposing the swimsuit you’re still wearing underneath. You look up at him apologetically through your lashes.

 “Thank you for coming, Ari, I’m sorry—”

 “Don’t be, Kitten,” he chuckles, helping you down the steps toward the car. “I’m glad you had a good time.” 

 You loose a high pitched giggle. “I had so-oo much fun. S-Sabrina’s so nice! She said she wants to hang out more. And—” You gasp, turning to him with a suspicious glare. “She said you put worms in her hair.” Ari laughs, shaking his head as he opens the passenger side door. “How could you do that?”

 “I’ll bet she didn’t tell you she dumped cat litter on my head the week before,” he replies, shutting the door before you can respond. He can see that you’re talking anyway, chirping brightly to yourself as Ari rounds the front of the car. He’s not quite sure why, but the sight of it makes his heart swell, even as he shakes his head. 

 “—gross!” You finish, looking at him definitively. 

 Ari slides into the drivers seat, nodding. “It was.” 

 “Will we come back for the Jeep?” You ask in a small, guilty voice. “I like the Jeep.” Ari nods, chuckling.

 “I promise.” The stoned, dopey smile you shoot him in response makes Ari wonder just how many “cookies” you’d eaten. You slump lazily in the passenger seat, stretching like a cat as he pulls out of the driveway. You sit there, blissfully unaware of the way that fucking bikini is eating away at his nerves. You drag a hand across your bare midsection, absently playing with the loose bikini strings.

 Of course you can’t see the way the edges of your dark, puffy nipples spill just over the edges of the triangular scraps of fabric. Sabrina’s attempt to help you maintain your modesty has done exactly the opposite, leaving you so indecently exposed that Ari finds himself wondering how the soft, plump lips of your cunt even fit in the bottoms. 

  God-fucking-dammit.

 Ari knows he should be focusing on the sparsely populated road, on the hour long drive it will take to get you home— not on the way he can see the pebbled outline of your perfect fucking nipples through that flimsy excuse for a bathing suit. Ari dares to glance in your direction again and groans quietly. You’re running your hands along your bare thighs, giggling and gasping at the sensation of your palms on your own skin. 

 “Ari, I didn’t know I was this soft,” you mumble, your eyes wide and pupils dilated. “Did you know that?” 

 He scrubs a hand down his face. 

 “Jesus, Kitten, you trying to kill me tonight?” He moans, dropping his head back against the seat. You lean over the middle console, an apology already on your trembling lips. 

 “I’m sorry.” It’s like you’re completely unaware of it, the thrall you have him in as you rest a warm little hand on his thigh. “How can I make it better?” 

  Martine’s fine at the house with Liam, right?

 —

  “Oh-oh God!” Your face is hidden, pressed against the hood of the car. Ari has your trembling legs spread as far apart as he can manage, his cock disappearing between the cheeks of your ass. “F-feels— oh— ” You’re even less articulate than usual, your sopping, needy cunt squeezing down around him like a vise. 

 Ari’s got your little white skirt rucked up around your waist, and the offending bikini pulled to the side so he can watch you take him. Seeing your pussy stretched open wide and straining around the veiny length of his cock is almost as good as feeling it. Ari doesn’t resist the urge to crack the palm of one hand against the cheek of your ass. You squeal, and God the way you fucking clench down is almost enough to make him bust right there—

 “Ari!” His name sounds like a desperate prayer on your lips. You’re practically writhing underneath him, your hands forming little fists on the hood of the Bentley. “G-God, feels—” He loves you like this, the words all gibberish on your loose tongue. “Fuck!”

 He especially likes it now that you’re high, hoarse curses falling from your lips as you raise yourself up onto your tip toes trying to meet his thrusts. It’s like some of your carefully crafted filter has come apart, allowing through the Kitten that isn’t afraid of judgment or reprisal. 

 “M’so full,” you whine pathetically, peering over your shoulder at him pleadingly. “More?” He isn’t expecting your breathy, perfect little plea, and the softly uttered request seems to go straight to his cock, and it throbs hard inside you. Ari groans, his head lolling back on his shoulders as he stares unseeingly at the night sky. “More, please.”

 The knot at the base of his cock is already starting to swell, and Ari clenches his teeth. Bracing one hand between your shoulders as he anchors the other to your hip. 

 “More, Kitten?” He asks, chuckling darkly. “Greedy girl. Can you even take more?” Ari draws back until the head of his cock pops out, and he slaps it wetly against your cunt. Slowly, he presses himself into the fucked-swollen mess of your pussy. He doesn’t stop when you begin straining against his knot, murmuring dark words of encouragement. 

 “You asked for this,” he reminds you, grinning when your forehead hits the hood with a thunk, and you let out a muffled cry. Ari joins you, a harsh growl tearing from his throat as his knot pops inside. “That enough, Kitten?” He asks through clenched teeth. “Your hungry fucking pussy finally full, Sweetheart?” 

 You push back against him, a lewd squelch filling both your ears. That’s enough of an answer for Ari. He growls, clamping down on the back of your neck with one hand as his fingers sink deep into the meat of your hip. His thrusts are shorter now, but fuller , and each one leaves you mewling and crying.   His whole world is condensing down to a single point. You’re all that matters, you, this moment, his cock buried in your slick, sweet core—

 “Oh f-fuck, God, Ari, c-cumming—” The nonsense that you manage to string together only barely precedes the way your cunt clamps deliciously around him like a hot wet fist. The pleasurable buzzing in the back of Ari’s skull becomes unbearable, traveling down his spine and shooting like electricity to the base of his cock. 

 Ari groans, bending over your back to sink his teeth into your shoulder, holding you still while he cums. He still doesn’t know how to explain how right it feels to press inside you and let go—like he’s supposed to. Fuck and the feel of you—Ari groans as you shift, your velvet walls shifting against his still hard cock. He leans back, releasing you so that he can stare appreciatively at your cunt.  Lips bulged out from the heavy girth of his knot, a mixture of both your fluids leaking out around it. 

 You peek over your shoulder at him, your hair sticking to your sweaty forehead. Your eyebrows are creased together, your glassy eyes shining with real worry. 

 “Ari?”

 “What’s the matter, Kitten?”

 “I think I left my phone.” 

  end

Thank you for reading! Please check out my masterlist for other, similar works, and follow my library blog, @box-of-bones-library​ for updates. ❤️

Likes and comments are amazing, but reblogs are golden! Please consider sharing my work so that others can see it too!

[thecartoonrambler]

Sylvia is a Fantastic character

Oh Sylvia!

Ever since i wrote about Wander and why hes such an important character, i wanted to write about Sylvia. But life got in the way a little..

Sylvia is such an amazing character.

Craig could have easily made her male, or made her a "typical female character" who presents in hyperfeminine ways and whatever (nothing wrong with femininity as long as it isnt forced or compulsory). But she's not, shes her own character, she's masculine, she's a bounty hunter, she's strong, she's powerful, she keeps her silly friend in check, she's serious, logical, diligent. Competitive. She's sassy, she doesn't let others boss her around. Its SO refreshing. Its SO refreshing to just HAVE a female character that FEELS like a character rather than simply "the Female".

Funny how a kids show about space can do a better job at that than even Marvel movies, huh?Its almost sad that when talking about her, the fact that she's female and that shes written like a proper character is actually refreshing. It should be the case for ALL shows, no exceptions.

Maybe she can serve as an example for new writers and show runners what to do RIGHT.

but enough about her gender!

I ADORE her dynamics between herself and other characters. I love the parallels between Her and Commander peepers in chasing around their emotional and impulsive friend/boss trying to keep them from doing silly things, yet also being complete opposites due to Her being the Bigger one in her dynamic with Wander, whereas peepers is the smaller one to Lord hater. I think its really cool!

I think episodes like "the Timebomb" or "the Family Reunion" are fantastic at deepening our understanding of Sylvia too.

She was brought up in a very rough and tough environment, feeling like she was never enough and had to compete with her older brothers at all times, fighting with feelings of not being good enough for her mother and how these feelings have caused her to be hyper competitive in instances of competition, where her feelings of little self worth are brough up if she's not "good enough", getting blinded by rage and loosing sense of what she should prioritise (which for a character that is typically so focused on logic and effectiveness is really striking. (I also ABSOLUTELY love the episode the Timebomb cause it shows how well Sylvia and Wander's friendship works?? Like the way he's able to calm her down and make sure she doesn't go crazy, similarly to how she's there for him from going crazy in episodes like "the Box") its just so sweet amd i love it smI love Sylvia so much.

When ppl say we want strong female characters WE MEAN SYLVIA!!! A WELL ROUNDED, AWESOME WELL WRITTEN CHARACTER THAT IS AN INSPIRATION!! THAT HAS FLAWS AND FEELINGS AND FEELS LIKE A REAL CHARACTER!!!! AHHH!!!! i love her :,3

ALSO! her design! I love it! I didn't mention it yet. But i really like that

1. She's larger than Wander!

2. Her snout is so cute idk 🥺

3. I love that she's not skinny?? Like shes got muscle she's got fat, she's got speed!!?

4. I like that she has dinosaur and horse elements idk i think its cool She's just cool Idk i love her

[pascaloverx]

NO LIGHT

SUMMARY: Your life is simple. You are a pastry chef who has just opened a bakery near your home. A new life, being a new person. But when James Barnes shows up at your bakery injured, asking you to offer him shelter, your life takes a sudden turn.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: The characters in this fanfiction are not my creation and all belong to the Marvel universe. This story will feature scenes of violence, brief intense intimate moments, and inappropriate language. To the readers, I wish you a good read and ask that you engage with the fanfiction if you like it. Do not interact with this fanfiction if you are underage. Enjoy reading.

FOUR SIX

FIVE

You put on a dress your mother gave you some time ago, one she called the "husband-catcher," telling you to wear it when you wanted someone special’s attention. Well, for tonight’s dinner, you want Steve Rogers' attention on you. You leave your hair down, choose the least uncomfortable pair of heels you could find at the last minute, apply light makeup, and a slightly bold red lipstick. You add a necklace that complements your neckline. Honestly, you feel like a seductive spy heading on a mission. Butterflies flutter in your stomach, but as you look at yourself in the mirror, you try to convince yourself that you can fool the handsome Rogers.

Grabbing your bag, you lock the door to your apartment, wave to the camera Barnes installed at the entrance, and head out for your meeting with Steve. It doesn’t take long to reach the restaurant on foot, as it's just across from your bakery. One of the perks of living close to work. From a distance, you spot Steve Rogers, sitting at one of the outside tables. He’s dressed in an elegant navy blue suit, his hair neatly in place with not a strand out of order, and his beard freshly trimmed. This man knows how to dress for a date — though this will be more of an interrogation.

"You take my breath away, Y/N. If your plan was to distract me with your charm, it’s already working," Steve says the moment he sees you approaching. You try to exude as much sex appeal as possible, making sure the slit in your dress is on full display while offering him a gentle smile.

"I believe you think I value your opinion on many matters. But thank you for the compliment, I do try to perfect my charm when I'm about to be interrogated by a stranger regarding someone he assumes I know." You respond boldly, watching as Steve pulls out the chair for you to sit. After settling into your seat and adjusting your bag, you realize you're actually sitting in a restaurant with a very handsome man. Your cheeks grow warm, which feels odd given how cool the evening is.

"You know Bucky, it’s only a matter of time before you admit it. I’d even bet you saw him before this meeting. That’s why you closed your bakery early, and don’t tell me it was just to get ready for our date. You look stunning, but I’m not an idiot. What did he tell you to do? Lie outright, I’m sure of it." Steve seems to know Barnes all too well, sounding completely convinced that he’s uncovered everything you’ve been hiding. You take a sip of water, trying to calm yourself.

"It's astounding how you think admitting to being a stalker is somehow better than understanding that I have no idea who the hell your friend is. Yes, he may have been a customer of mine. If you haven’t noticed, I serve a lot of people—including you. And as much as you don't deserve it, I closed my bakery early because I needed to prepare myself, not just by putting on a nice dress and makeup, but mentally. This is the first date I've had since I lost my trust in men. If you want to know why, it's because my fiancé cheated on me with my best friend. The week of our wedding. If you want more details, I smashed a vase over his head, he had to get over five stitches, and it was the first time I got arrested. He dropped the charges afterward because he felt guilty. Since then, I've been focusing on my bakery. So, tell me, smart guy—are you satisfied?" You speak with a certain flair, feigning near tears as you recount the story. You're lying, of course, about several details, but the performance is convincing enough.

Steve extends his hand across the table, gently holding yours and caressing it. You look at him with teary eyes while he gazes back at you like you're a lost puppy. "Where did Barnes find you? Until now, I thought you were just a regular bakery owner, but you're something else. If you tell me you know how to use a weapon, I’ll personally see to it that you become an agent." He laughs right after, clearly amused by your act.

You sigh in frustration, pulling your hand away from his, but he grabs it again, moving his chair closer to yours. He then pulls your neck towards him to whisper into your ear, "I'm starting to enjoy your lies. You can keep feeding them to me, but I’d prefer if you cut the nonsense and told me something real."

"I haven’t been fucked in almost a year. Am I lying or telling the truth?" You give up trying to fool Steve and decide to shift the conversation. You're still holding his gaze when the waiter clears his throat to get both of your attention. Your eyes dart away from Steve's as you straighten up in your chair, adjusting yourself. Rogers, too, composes himself, though he’s still chuckling at the situation.

“Gentlemen, I apologize for the interruption, but I would like to know if you are ready to place your order. For today, the merlot paired with the chef's special pizza is highly recommended,” the waiter says politely, clearly embarrassed.

"We'll go with your recommendation," Steve replies with a broad smile, as if he’s having the time of his life. What a complete idiot. The waiter notes down the order and quickly heads off to fetch the wine, leaving you and Rogers alone again.

"You saw he was coming over and didn't warn me on purpose, right?" you ask, a bit furious, looking at him as if you could kill him.

"Let’s say I didn’t see him coming, just like you don’t know Bucky. But let’s get back to the main topic; you haven’t had a sexual partner for quite some time. Tell me, why did you share that with me?" Steve speaks seductively, looking at you as if you are something he treasures.

"Because that’s the reason for all of this, right? Not to find your friend, but to try to seduce me so I’d let you sleep with me. Of course, all in the name of you thinking you’ll find your friend. You want to find him so badly that you came here on a date with me instead of going to look for him. Admit it, you don’t want to be wrong about me knowing Barnes, because if I don’t know him, you’ve got nothing. You’ve wasted your time trying to get into my pants. Also, you don’t need to be formal when discussing my lack of sex. I haven’t fuck with anyone for a while. In fact, I might be manipulating you to seduce you and then discard you. Have you thought about that?" You try to be more straightforward among the lies and deceitful words. You just want to see if you can hit a nerve with Steve Rogers to convince him of something. Even if it’s that you’re a woman desperate for his cock.

“Dance with me?” Steve suddenly asks, catching you off guard. You look at him, trying to understand what he means. There's no music playing, and the waiter is about to serve the wine. But something tells you this is a test, so when he extends his hand toward you, you take it firmly. He places his phone on the table, and an instrumental melody begins to play. He then presses his body against yours, one hand holding yours and the other resting on your waist.

He leads you with confidence, your bodies swaying to the music. At one point, it feels less like dancing and more like a silent battle to see who will give in first. Steve’s hands grip the contours of your dress, almost reaching your backside. Your hand wraps around his neck, your head resting close to his chest, allowing you to catch a whiff of his cologne—a woody scent that feels almost comforting, like a warm embrace.

"You’re right, I know your friend. Lying is just pure foolishness, and I can't take it anymore. In fact, I know him quite well. He was a secret crush of mine, not just a mere customer. The days he came into the bakery were the brightest. He’d order an espresso and the fresh bread I was testing the recipe for. I would come in early just to be ready when he arrived. I waited for months to find out his name, even though I knew he preferred savory over sweet, that he probably has a fluffy white cat, that he enjoys reading The Hobbit, and that he never paid me any mind. That’s why I denied knowing him; I feel pathetic saying all this. Like a silly teenage girl hoping to be noticed by the guy she finds attractive. And that’s all I have to say about him. He doesn’t know who I am, but I know who he is. I’d recognize him even in a crowd. " Your voice trembles, a mix of embarrassment and pretense, almost as if you feel utterly humiliated. It’s not a complete lie; it probably won’t work, but you have to try. Steve won’t give up easily if he doesn’t have part of the truth. And that’s what he’ll get from you—a fragment of the truth.

The waiter brings the pizza, interrupting the small world you and Steve had created during the dance. Both of you feel a bit embarrassed for being caught, but without saying much, you sit back at the table, allowing the waiter to serve you. The pizza is flavorful, but Steve seems distracted, still processing your ridiculous confession of love for Barnes. His usual confident demeanor falters for a moment as he picks at the food, clearly thinking over what you just said. The tension lingers, not from suspicion anymore but from the awkward truth you've offered.

"Since you've finally decided to tell me the truth, now tell me: when was the last time you saw James Barnes?" The crucial question is asked, almost as if it were another test. Between bites of pizza and sips of wine, you feel the need to reveal something to him. But if you tell the truth, Barnes could be at risk. He would be furious.

"The last time I saw him was…" You were just about to reveal the truth to Steve, realizing the mistake you were making when the sudden sound of a gunshot drew your attention. The bullet shattered your wine glass, leaving you horrified. The second shot was even closer to Steve, hitting his arm. Without much thought, you immediately drop to the floor, rushing over to Steve, who is pressing on his wound. You can hear people screaming in panic from inside the restaurant.

"What is so important that it's taking you this long to find?" you ask impatiently, panic rising inside you. You're more scared for Steve than he seems to be. Finally, he pulls out his car keys along with his wallet from his pocket. He places the money for the bill and tip on the table, then presses the car key into your hand. His grip is firm, and you're horrified when you see his blood smearing onto your skin from his hand.

"Y/N, I'm putting my life in your hands. Please, save me," Steve says as his eyes begin to close, his strength visibly fading. You quickly place his good arm over your shoulders and ask him to guide you to his car. He leads you as best as he can, and once there, you carefully put him in the passenger seat, fastening his seatbelt. You try calling out to him a few times, hoping to keep him conscious, but he slips into unconsciousness. Without wasting another second, you rush to drive him to the hospital, heart pounding as you speed through the streets.

It didn’t take long before you arrived at the emergency room of the hospital. After shouting for help, a doctor and several nurses rushed to assist you in getting Steve out of the car. You were questioned for a while about Steve—whether he had any allergies, what his condition was. You decided to say you were his wife, explaining that due to his military service, you hadn’t seen him for a while. Once they finished removing the fragments of the bullet from Steve’s arm, you could finally take a breath, though your heart still raced.

“Miss, your husband asked to see you,” one of the nurses informed you as you sat in the waiting room for hours. You quickly stood up to meet Steve, who was in a hospital bed looking much better.

"My beloved wife, have you waited all this time for me?" Steve Rogers says, sounding somewhat dazed, likely from the pain medication they gave him. You give him a slight smile as you see him beckoning you closer with his hand.

"How is my dear husband?" you ask, fully embracing the character as you approach him, gently holding his hand. He leans forward and pouts, as if asking for a kiss. You give him a quick peck on the lips.

"I want to go home. Can we leave?" Steve asks, laughing as if he's finding something amusing.

"We could go but your doctor said you need to stay under observation and the hospital said you need to give your insurance number or a nice amount of money." You smile and casually respond to Steve's question, but unfortunately, he falls asleep before he can answer you. You inform the hospital reception that you will provide Steve's financial information once he is better. They are understanding, thinking of you as a concerned wife. They even let you leave, promising to call if he improves. Feeling exhausted, you decide to go home. You drive Steve's car back to your place, borrowing it for the night.

As you’re about to enter your apartment, you hear a noise coming from inside. Great, this is when things go south. Thankfully, you have pepper spray in your bag, and you grab it, preparing to defend yourself against whoever is inside. When you open the door, you come face to face with a man. As soon as he turns to look at you, you spray him in the face.

"Ah, Y/N, are you trying to blind me?" Barnes exclaims, crying out in pain from the pepper spray in his eyes. You rush to help him, dropping your bag on a nearby surface. Gently, your fingers brush against his eyes as you attempt to wipe away the remnants of the spray. You blow softly into his eyes, trying to ease the burning sensation, while he watches you in stunned silence.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to," you say softly, your concern evident. "I thought you were an intruder." As you continue to tend to him, the tension in the room shifts from fear to a more intimate moment, the chaos of the evening fading into the background.

"It wasn't supposed to be you who got hurt," Barnes says, grasping your hand, which still bears the blood from Steve. For a moment, you're touched by his genuine concern for you. However, the realization of what he said sinks in, making you acutely aware that he has some connection to what happened.

"What do you mean by that?" you ask, your heart racing as you search his eyes for answers. "Did you know this was going to happen?" The tension hangs heavy in the air as you await his response, feeling both unsettled and intrigued by the depths of his involvement.

His eyes seem heavy as he searches for the right words, finally admitting, "It was Natasha's plan. She thought a small attack would distract Steve enough for him to stop looking for me. She figured you wouldn't be able to keep secrets. We planted bugs in the restaurant, and when we sensed you were about to spill, we had to act. I know you're going to be angry, but it was for your own good." James Barnes's words feel like a whirlwind, leaving you bewildered.

"You’re crazy. How could you let her hurt your friend? Or did you do it yourself? Do you have any idea what you’ve done to us? You put me at risk and left your best friend injured. He’s in a damn hospital bed, you son of a bitch." You step away from James Barnes, unable to recognize the man in front of you. How sadistic could he be to hurt Steve?

"Steve will survive. It was a strategically placed shot; we wouldn’t have harmed him if we didn’t know he would pull through. Please, Y/N; trust me. What Natasha and I did was for the best," James Barnes says, holding your hands again as if he desperately wants you to understand and accept that it was all part of his plan.

"Don't you dare ask me to trust you; you didn't trust me. You preferred to shoot Rogers rather than give me a vote of confidence. But I can promise you that if you don't step aside right now, I will make you regret not shooting me. I will tell Steve and the police everything I know about you, and I won't regret it. So get out of my apartment and don't come back," you say angrily, feeling something burn inside you. You are tremendously regretful for having trusted him, for ever thinking he could be yours.

Barnes's gaze conveys a sense of pain, as if he is truly remorseful. He heads toward the door as if to leave, but pauses just before opening it, turning back and practically rushing towards you. His lips meet yours in a kiss filled with emotion. James leads the kiss, as if he wants to consume you. The intensity of your tongues dancing within each other’s mouths, exploring, is sensational. There’s a strong urge to push Barnes away, to hit him, to cry for him. But in that fleeting moment, you savor the kiss.

"I'll come back when you’re calmer. Until then, don’t do anything reckless. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but just know that I’m truly sorry," James says as he breaks the kiss, his eyes still closed, relishing the sensation of your lips against his. When you open your eyes, he’s no longer there. For a moment, you wish he had never been in your life at all.

[wonuwrites]

Hello, I wanted to ask for a reaction from seventeen, how would he react to you being the voice of some movie, exactly Gwen from Spider-Man across the spider verce?💋

oooo! I don't know much about Gwen from Spiderverce that much but I will try my best <333

warning: suggestive(?) tbd, fluff, totally fluffy, more fluffy then nothing lmaooooo // also not proof reading because I kept you waiting awhile :( sorry it took a decade

listening to: this

gonna do them all randomly so lets goooo~

✭ Joshua -

He would find it so precious when he found out you were cast to play a part in a voice over. He knew that you loved doing things like that and seeing that you were accepted just made his heart just so full of pride. He was the first person you told and he was so proud of you for following through with your dreams.

✭ Vernon -

He would not have been as vocal as some of the other members of how proud of you getting a part in a voice over but he would show it. He would post about it on his Instagram, Weverse, and shoot he'd be one of the reasons your film did so good on streaming services when it *finally* released. He was so proud of you, and you knew it. <3

✭ Minghao -

He'd be pretty similar to Vernon in showing you how proud he was however, he would be a bit more vocal about it? Even though he is one of the shyer members, seeing how excited you were when you found out you got that role would spark something in him that would be just so loving and awww. idk im soft

✭ Woozi ~

He would show love and pride by gifts. He'd buy you flowers, your favorite snacks, anything. He would also be so excited he would tell the members the exciting news when he was at practice. He would try to play it cool when he was with you but everyone including you bc he's not slick knew how proud he was of you <3

✭ Seungkwan ~

ohhh myyy gosh~ Seungkwan would be your personal cheerleader ever since you were thinking about auditioning for the role. He would read lines with you, he would "act" out scenes, and would send coffee trucks for you on days you were filming. He was so proud of his best friend, his significant other, his soulmate. <333

✭ Dino ~

Like Seungkwan, Channie would be your biggest cheerleader and supporter. After day 1 of filming, he would be on set with your favorite drink, snacks, and flowers and would have the biggest smile on his face. He was so so proud of you. Your voice was one of his most favorite noises in the world and he was so excited the world would be able to hear it as well. He also would get cocky? Like he would tell people "you know who voiced this? (Y/N), aka my perfect girlfriend/boyfriend. Isn't her voice just so nice?" wripewjribweir

✭ DK ~

After finding out that you got the role, you both were jumping up and down screaming in excitement. You had been praying, manifesting, and wishing for years to become a voice actor and it finally came true. Seokmin was so excited that he was with you when you got that phone call because he knew how stressed and nervous you were post audition. He would give you a big hug and say "see! I told you! I told you they would pick you!"

✭ Wonwoo ~

So y'all remember when Wonwoo went "awoo" while watching Mingyu's fancam? (for those who don't or just want the friendly reminder here lol.) This is how he would react to you being a voice actor. Especially in a Marvel film?? In his eyes, he won the friggin jackpot! When they were on tour, he would always put on your film on and would be so happy whenever your parts came on. He would always take a picture of your character and send it to you. It was honestly very precious. <3

✭ Hoshi ~

Oh he would be so ecstatic like Seokmin. When you found out you ran to the dance practice room just so you could tell him before anyone else could. When he saw you he'd give you a hug out of instinct but once you *casually* told him you got the role he would pick you up and spin you around. He would then shout and tell whoever else in the room the happy news causing everyone else to cheer.

✭ Jun ~

He would have found out from a news source before you had the opportunity to tell you. He'd be at your door with a bouquet of flowers and take out from your favorite restaurant. He would just be smiling so wide and kept telling you congratulations. Like Seungkwan, he would read lines to help practice. He was just so happy that you both had another and new thing in common. <3

✭ S. Coups ~

Cheolie would have reservations at your favorite restaurant as soon as you both found out. He would keep smiling at you like a proud dad lol , because he is daddy af, and would continuously tell you how proud of you he was of you getting this role. He would be similar to Jihoon and shower you with gifts. He also decided that for the movie premiere he would buy the dress you would wear and make sure his suit matched. <3

✭ Mingyu ~

Speaking of movie premieres, Mingyu was the perfect date for you. He would show up for you both in front and behind the cameras. He knew what it was like to be in front of flashing cameras and when you had told him you were nervous about that, he would take your hand in his and kiss it and tell you there was nothing to worry about because he was right there with you. <3 // besides attending the premiere, he would also take you on a celebratory date, help with lines, drive you to the filming, stay with you on late night shoots, and just show how much he loved and supported you in any way he could think fit. You were his little rockstar <33

✭ Jeonghan ~

Jeonghan found out shortly after you did because you had been crying on the floor because you were shocked by the news. When he finally got it out of you he was so proud of you. He ended up kissing you all over your face and whispering congrats to you over and over again. He would be wiping away your happy tears and then would ask more about your role. He wanted to know everything.

A/N: Hope this was good and didn't let you down xo

[newx-menfan]

NYX #3 Review!

*Spoilers!*

The issue starts with a phone message to Anole from Kamala, inviting him to the funeral of a recently deceased mutant.

Anole heads to the funeral- which includes Laura, Prodigy, Sophie, and Kamala.

(At the funeral is also Local, which Laura is totally eye-f***ing 😂🤣)

Some “truthseekers” (aka Marvel Universe’s version of “QAnon” 😂🤣🤣) are at the funeral as well; screaming them down Westborough Baptist church style.

Caliban shows up at the funeral with new digs while doing a whole ceremony ( Caliban had a major “glow up��� and stopped talking in 3rd person) and Anole decides to follow him into the sewers….where he sees Caliban’s new version of “the Morlocks” and their spiffed up sewer/faux Krakoa. (Everyone is apparently obsessed with remaking Krakoa!)

Meanwhile Kamala’s brother, Aamir shows up at the funeral looking for Kamala with their “Trumper” cousin, who is in town (I guess we all have one lol) and gets a mouthful about the dangers of being around mutants.

Sophie loses her cool and flips out on Kamala’s cousin (#thekrakoanwasright).

(Also- OKAY Sophie….we INTERRUPT David’s carefully planned lecture….but don’t call out Kamala for not standing up for her friends or new identity more?!!) 

(Also- the panel with Sophie looks AMAZING!) 

As Kamala’s cousin and brother leave, Sophie then alerts Kamala that the truthseekers have followed Anole into the sewers and are planning to attack him.

Back in the sewers, we find out that apparently Anole is dating people on apps with “scaly fetishes” while he is asked to take off his shirt to make sure he’s not “wearing a wire” so to speak… 😳😂🤣

Anole verbally debates if he belongs more with the X-Men or the Morlocks and says that he’s done with the “X-Men life” and asks if they asked him to strip to make sure he wasn’t “in costume”… (this is basically a rip-off of Spyke’s arc in “X-Men Evo” btw…)

Anole’s internal debate is interrupted by the Truthseekers (apparently working in tandem with the Purifiers…it’s hard to keep track of all the mutant hate groups honestly), and Anole protects the Morlocks.

The calvary of Ms. Marvel, Sophie, and Wolverine then show up….(Prodigy interestingly nowhere to be seen!) 

(Kamala screaming random political slogans in battle IS admittedly funny!)

When they won, Laura debates about killing the truthseekers (damn Laura! Someone is backsliding with Krakoa gone! 😂🤣), but Sophie talks her out of it.

Anole and Laura chat, as Anole quips about being a former “Hellion” and Laura drags Kamala out to give Anole a minute with the Morlocks….(technically he was in “Alpha Squadron” but whatevs….)

Anole ultimately decides he doesn’t want to hide in a sewer OR be a bartender (tbh I wouldn’t want to bartend in NYC either!) and goes back to the surface with Caliban and co.

We also find out Prodigy is apparently the one tagging Mutant Graffiti, with paint stained hands!

And that Sophie is working for Empath!

Review:

This issue was OKAY….more or less it’s just a “filler issue”.

For being titled “Anole”…we barely got much of him (the one chink in the armor of this book is that I don’t care for how they write Anole- KYOST really wrote the best version of that character!)

I mentioned it’s a poor rip-off of Spyke from Evo in the summary and I would argue that the show at least built up to Spyke’s internal debate about being an X-Men or a Morlocks…this feels a bit left field for Anole…

The things fans WANTED- mentioning of Santo….Anole putting on the X-Dudes costume again…Northstar cameo…DOESN’T happen…and instead we get ANOTHER story about Anole having an existential crisis over having a physical mutation….(sigh…at least it WASN’T about his love life…)

This is definitely the weakest issue so far…and I think the main issue IS that Kamala is definitely overtaking the book a bit…which isn’t great, since this is an X-book, not a Ms. Marvel mini….(I’m saying this as someone who READ G. Willow’s run and likes the character!)

Hopefully the next issue with Prodigy will be stronger; it DEFINITELY seems like David is easier for this team to write than Victor….

The reveal of Sophie being the “traitor” is kind of boring…but it makes sense because it would be weird if she didn’t sense what her sisters were up to…(although I DO wonder now if there’s more than ONE…)

The ART is again SPECTACULAR!! This issue hands down had the strongest art!

Theories/Predictions:

I AM TOTALLY going to laugh if David painted a mural of HELLION! (the colors DO match!) 🤣🤣🤣

I kind of wonder if the Cuckoos are “sharing” powers with Hellion and that’s why they have telekinesis suddenly?

[moonlight-prose]

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I have spent several days drafting this post because there's so much I want to say. 2023 was filled with some big moments for me. I graduated college, met my friend group, went on night time adventures, and actually acted like my age for once. I was chaotic and fun and carefree for the first time since I turned 19. But things have also gone wrong in many ways.

Which is why I write this to you guys. The incredible people on this site. Whether you follow me, are my mutuals, or have seen my blog in passing (or in your notes), I want to wish you a Happy New Year.

While this year might have sucked for a majority of it, the light I found in this community - on this site - is unmatched. I have met some of my greatest friends here. I've cried to fics, lost my mind over characters, and written so much more than I actually expected. It's been a hell of a year and an absolute honor getting to thirst with y'all.

So here's to getting sluttier in 2024! I'm toasting my champagne glass to you guys.

I also wanted to simply shout out some very important people to me. They've made 2023 bearable and I couldn't have been happier to know them through this place. A big massive fucking THANK YOU to my darlings. You're the greatest people I know.

@soulores my queen, my babe, my bestie. it is hard to believe we didn't start officially talking till summer of this year, because i genuinely feel like we've known each other for years. from our sunday morning phone conversations, to our screaming in the dms about these fictional men, and movie days with you. i couldn't have asked for a better friend to meet this year. here's to many many more memories in 2024 (and to finally meeting in person!).

@themarcusmoreno what would be a dedication post without mentioning you! my love i am so so fucking happy we met two years ago. all because of pedro pascal. crazy to think i would have found such an incredible person who happened to love all the things i love! you're the greatest friend and i am so grateful for you. thank you for sticking with me.

@sunflowersteves vic the absolute bad bitch. THE PERSON YOU ARE. i am so so so so fucking happy you and i are still mutuals. after meeting through marvel of all things and then pedro and now top gun. there's so many memories with you i cherish. and i can't wait to make more. and a massive thank you for being such a cheerleader for my writing this year. you and ash have managed to keep me going even when times were tough.

@karasong my first EVER mutual on this site. it's so hard to think that if it weren't for you i wouldn't be writing on here. you followed me two years ago and i flipped out and the feeling hasn't changed one bit. i couldn't be happier you're in my life. from starting up the server with you, to yearning for obi-wan, life with you in it is so much better.

@softanon it would not be a proper dedication post if i did not add you babes. dia you are one of my favorite people to exist. you're effortlessly cool, have the best ideas, and i always feel so lucky that i met you. from our talks about the moon knight bois, to tommy miller, to yearning over din djarin, i have loved every single convo with you. they bring me so much joy. you are an incredible person and i am looking forward to SO MANY more convos about our favorite men!

@saradika to one of the greatest people to exist in this fandom i love love love you. your graphics and the love you show to everyone around is so incredible and bright. we seriously don't deserve you, but i am so happy you are here and that you exist. you've made 2024 brighter just by being here.

@tarrenterror25 the spookiest darling ever! when you showed up on the server it was such a good day! and you brought with you so much fun and joy that the server was never the same. i am sending you an infinite amount of love this new years and here's to more chaos with you in 2024!

to my darlings in the dilf nation server:

@arctvrvs thea babes you are iconic, lovely, and are one of the best people to exist. you made 2023 so much better just by being around to yearn over joel with you. i couldn't be happier to know you!

@fluffyprettykitty selene you are the coolest people who has the coolest fics! the love you share on fics is so incredible, it never ceases to bring a smile to my face. also you're just so awesome i couldn't have asked for a better person to join the server.

@rae-gar-targaryen my fanboy lover in crime. i'm sure i've said it countless times, but you are so cool and amazing and beautiful. you are a goddess in real life. the talent you have is so fucking incredible it haunts me. i love each and every one of your creations and i love you as well!

@mostly-megan you are an absolute sweetheart and even though we haven't talked much in 2023, i hope to have so many more conversations with you in the coming new year. sending you my love darling!

@agirllovespancakes iris you lovely human being. i remember when i was first posting hurt you would reblog the greatest comments. and it made me want to continue, because i looked forward to each one. and now that i know you love tommy too! you're so amazing and i dedicate a new years kiss to you.

@inklore you talented insanely incredible person! i could make a whole list of good things about you. i am sending you SO MUCH love for 2024. i hope it's amazing.

@outercrasis birdie my darling i want to tell you all the things that i cherish about you. from the love you showed on black velvet, to the way we screamed about bruce wayne and even frank castle, i live for our conversations. here's to so much more fun in 2024 and infinite convos about saltburn.

tagging those lovely humans who've made 2023 so incredible. please know i love you so much and i am kissing you when the clock strikes midnight. thank you for making this year so incredible!:

@stargazingcarol, @cregan-starks, @lady-of-glass-and-bone, @fushic0re, @targaryenvampireslayer, @pennyserenade, @flightlessangelwings, @stargirlfics, @goldgilzean, @kalllistos, @flordeamatista, @perotovar, @my-secret-shame, @roamwithahungryheart, @galatially, @eloquentmoon, @starryeyedstories, @oscarseyebrow, @iraot, @zinzinina, @thefact0rygirl, @iamskyereads, @navybrat817, @ifimayhaveaword, @the-godparticle

[cephalog0d]

The winner of my poll for which solo module I should play through was Strangers in Paradise with Wonder Woman, so here we go!!

I have reread how the dice and matrices work and located my handy dandy spinner wheel of slightly easier action calculations from the 2nd edition game. For dice we're using one of my glow in the dark metal gold and red ones my friend gave me and one of my liquid core Discowing ones (because they're glittery and beautiful and I don't get to use them much anymore since I'm done with that character).

Here's Diana's character sheet!

AND WE BEGIN. (Note: I'm transcribing the book exactly, so if there's weird grammar and formatting that's on them.)

Boston Arena "Ladies and Gentlemen, visiting ambassadors, honored guests. It is with great pride that I introduce our main speaker this afternoon. She is one of those very special persons who truly needs no introduction but I'll do my best. "She's a woman who comes from a very special nation on this planet and she comes bearing a message that is vitally important today: the message that peace and equality are achievable for our peoples." The emcee's words float back to you through the cool darkness which engulfs the main stage of this magnificent arena. You stand poised and ready, wearing the mantle of the fabled warrior Diana Trevor, which is known to the world as your Wonder Woman costume. Your regal blue cloak flows casually behind you, whim to the gentle summer breeze. You calmly peer at the audience through the glare of the arena's lights while waiting for your entrance cue. So many eyes seek you out, full of great expectations. TV cameras glide gracefully along automated tracks; with a speed rivaling great Hermes' own, your electronic image is sped throughout this brave new world. Fascinating and frightening, these creations of Man's World. "It is my great pleasure to present...Princess Diana of Themyscira!" A roar of approval rises from the crowd, unrestrained in its cheering and applause. For just a moment, you hesitate, a brief tremor of stage fright passing through you. And then you have no more time for such petty, mortal concerns. You step forward, your feet effortlessly leaving the ground, and soar into the air above the vast arena. You hurtle past the stage and swiftly fly above the jubilant crowd. Approval surges from the crowd below and with it all your fears evaporate into mist. You swoop in a tight arc, reveling in the pure sensation of flying and the joy of the crowd's unbridled appreciation. The sky is yours and, for a brief, magical moment, there is no strife and no conflict; all that exists is you and your audience, united by a bond of mutual acceptance. You revel in the glorious attention while also feeling a twinge of remorse. Although you love bringing joy to the people of this world, a sadness tempers your bliss that such theatrics are necessary to make your message heard. Again you force the doubts from your mind, concentrating instead on the task at hand. Many in this audience came to hear your message but all came to marvel at your powers. [If they want a show, they'll get a show], you think craftily. You rise up high into the air and swoop rapidly down, preparing to execute a plummeting aerial roll.

ROLLING TIME to see how this aerial maneuver goes, come on dice, don't fail me now.

[imecliptic]

since i’m having an inheritance games brainrot currently, i decided to throw together taylor swift songs/lyrics that i thought fit the characters. it was actually really hard but i’d totally do it again-

Avery Kylie Grambs: …Ready For It? - “Knew he was a killer first time that I saw him. Wonder how many girls he had loved and left haunted. But if he's a ghost, then I can be a phantom, holdin' him for ransom.”

Libby Grambs: Tied Together With A Smile(I also really considered Begin Again) - “I guess it's true that love was all you wanted, 'cause you're givin' it away like it's extra change, hoping it will end up in his pocket, but he leaves you out like a penny in the rain.”

Nash Westbrook Hawthorne: Fearless - “We're drivin' down the road, I wonder if you know I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now. But you're just so cool, run your hands through your hair. Absentmindedly makin' me want you.”

Grayson Davenport Hawthorne: cardigan - “You drew stars around my scars, but now I'm bleedin'. 'Cause I knew you, steppin' on the last train, marked me like a bloodstain, I- I knew you tried to change the ending; Peter losing Wendy.”

Jameson Winchester Hawthorne: Mine - “Do you remember, we were sittin', there by the water? You put your arm around me for the first time. You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter. You are the best thing, that's ever been mine.”

Alexander Blackwood Hawthorne: The Archer - “I've been the archer, I've been the prey. Who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay?”

Tobias Tattersall Hawthorne: Mastermind - “What if I told you none of it was accidental? And the first night that you saw me, nothing was gonna stop me? I laid the groundwork and then, just like clockwork the dominoes cascaded in a line. What if I told you I'm a mastermind?”

Skye Hawthorne: the last great american dynasty - “‘There goes the last great American dynasty’ ‘Who knows if she never showed up, what could've been’ ‘There goes the most shameless woman this town has ever seen’ ‘She had a marvelous time ruinin' everything’.”

Zara Hawthorne-Calligaris: Better Than Revenge - “I had it all I had him right there where I wanted him. She came along, got him alone, and let's hear the applause; She took him faster than you could say ‘sabotage’.”

Toby Hawthorne: closure - “Don't treat me like some situation that needs to be handled. I'm fine with my spite, and my tears, and my beers and my candles. I can feel you smoothing me over”

Pearl O’day: no body, no crime - “She thinks I did it but she just can't prove it. No, no body, no crime. I wasn't letting up until the day he… died.”

Alisa Ortega: Midnight Rain - He was sunshine, I was midnight rain. He wanted comfortable, I wanted that pain. He wanted a bride, I was making my own name.”

Maxine Liu: dorothea - “You got shiny friends since you left town, a tiny screen's the only place I see you now, and I got nothing but well wishes for ya.”

Thea Calligaris: New Romantics - “We need love, but all we want is danger. We team up, then switch sides like a record changer. The rumors are terrible and cruel; But honey, most of them are true.”

Rebecca Laughlin: tolerate it - “I greet you with a battle hero's welcome. I take your indiscretions all in good fun. I sit and listen, I polish plates until they gleam and glisten. You're so much older and wiser and I.”

Emily Laughlin: Wildest Dreams - “Say you'll remember me, standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe. Red lips and rosy cheeks; Say you'll see me again, even if it's just in your wildest dreams.”

[lenaperseveranceoxton]

I've been less motivated to post here lately because I only seem to have negative things to say about the modern state of Overwatch. I know damn well how annoying that is. In the words of Chris Griffin: "Why are you so fucking negative all the time?"

Alas, Lena "Tracer" Oxton is my original character, and I will forever be upset about how the newer developers don't seem to understand them.

First, Black Cat Tracer still drives me up the wall because they would not wear that, but even in the matching spray and name card, they don't have any of their personality. Lena has always been more puppy-coded than kitty-coded, anyway. I get it, though. Let's appease the homophobic straight men who play this game-- and Tracer, in particular-- for a living because that's where the money's at.

Then, I played Overwatch Classic, and as much as it made me appreciate how far the game has come in the few matches where I played any other hero, it is undeniably a Tracer main's playground. Thus, I played fifteen matches of Tracer and Tracer only for the "Play 15 matches as an Offense hero in Overwatch Classic" challenge, but even in my first match, hearing the old Overwatch 1 voice lines was a breath of fresh air.

They used to sound so cool, calm, and collected. Still excited and enthusiastic, no doubt, but more gentle. The way I described it while ranting to my friends who don't play Overwatch is that Tracer's new lines mostly sound like hyperactive Marvel quips written by someone who only had an "incorrect quotes taken from Vines" grasp on their personality and completely Flanderized them in the process.

This is Overwatch 2 Tracer's writing to me:

Sure, they are a silly and clumsy character at heart, but way to overdo it! Also, I still think the person who wrote the "Caught you staring!" line should be flayed alive in front of their family.

Speaking of Overwatch 1 interactions, I also realized how similar many of Overwatch 2's are. I already ranted in a previous post about how Lena used to be angrier towards Talon members-- take going from "It wouldn't be a problem if you just disappeared forever" to "Whoopsie-daisy, I got locked out of my phone," for example. In the same post, I also ranted about how Lena's new interaction with Illari feels like a duplicate of the one with Ashe.

Now, imagine the disappointment I felt when I heard the interaction they used to have with Genji about their survivor's guilt over Mondatta while playing Overwatch Classic and went through Overwatch 2's interactions to confirm my suspicions that they never take a similar tone in the glorified update latter game. They talk about the Slipstream Incident with D.Va and Mercy in Overwatch 2's spawn room interactions, but both times, they only say "Teehee! I can't believe I got lost in time! My bad!"

I know these newer interactions tend to be written by interns in their early twenties, as said interns would always celebrate on Twitter whenever their work got added to the game. Still, as a fellow early-twenty-something-year-old, the drop in quality to hiring actual, experienced writers shows. The only time we get an idea of how Lena copes with their baffling amount of trauma is when Emily tells us, the audience, in the Story Missions that they often fixate on something for hours straight to distract themself.

Whatever, man. Every time Blizzard makes a joke out of Lena "Tracer" Oxton, I give them a new mental illness in my canon rewrite. There are always new ways to torture my homunculus.

[lastoneout]

Okay I'm finally sitting down to properly watch the PJO series so here's an episode-by-episode live blog I guess. (Fair warning, I haven't read the books since I was a teenager, I am a smidge of an apologist for the films, and my favorite adaptation so far has been the musical.)

Episode One:

All of the actors are doing a really good job, I especially like Sally.

The costume design for both the monsters and the humans is pretty killer. I want Percy's sweater.

I also love the little seaside cabin and want to live there!!!

This is such a mild gripe BUT as someone with dyslexia I wish there was a better way to visually depict it without like, doing the swapping letters thing cuz that's just not what it's actually like at all.

Gabe maybe feels a little too funny. Like I'm supposed to hate him and think it's justified that he deserves to be turned into stone at the end, this version of him is really.....toned down, and his banter with Percy and Sally was fun to watch. I should hate him, but really he just came across as unpleasant. Less abusive asshole and more "old married couple who share interests but can't communicate without shouting" you know?

Loved Grover's little "I'm 24 actually" lmao that was great.

Not a fan of Percy immediately recognizing the Minotaur within a millisecond of it appearing before the audience even got a good look at it. Like, I just sat there thinking "how can he even see it?" rather than feeling scared of a big monster barreling at them.

The action is uh....fine? Feels a little lackluster. Or kinda....divorced from the rest of the show weirdly?? Idk it makes me feel like I'm watching a movie of a movie if that makes sense?? But we'll see where they go with it. (I know banter during a fight isn't realistic and people make fun of Marvel for it, but like...it helps to have at least a little talking. We don't wanna be Man of Steel.)

I feel like there's been a few "slightly out of sync ADR" moments but they weren't too distracting.

Pacing into Sally saying goodbye felt a little long, kinda took the shock of her dying out of the scene, but the actress REALLY sold all the emotional beats so I'll forgive it.

I LOVE the credits sequence!!! Reminds me of the designs on that one box set of the books in a really cool way.

Episode Two:

Oh yes the ugly ass neon orange shirts are here bless!

FUCK YES THAT'S DIONYSUS BAYBEEE!! My ONLY note is that he def could have turned up the energy a little, but that's probably just bcs I love how loud and unpleasant he is in the musical and I also know how unhinged this actor can be.

Chiron is such a delight <3

I like the cabins too, way better than how I imagined them as a kid reading the books lol

Oh, I can see why the new fans fell for Luke so hard.

Grover assuming a human being squished would be like an old banana is very funny. Felt very book-humor in a good way.

Clarisse!!

Oh damn actual disabled half-bloods, very cool!

Minor but I can't actually tell what Percy did wrong with the bow? Weird editing I guess.

Aside from that I actually love a good "fuck up" montage, I honestly wish it were a little longer.

Probably doesn't matter but I don't get having them burn the food after they've started eating? I thought that was a before you sit down type thing.

Percy burning the blue candy to try to talk to his mom was sweet tho T_T

"real friends" hahahaha.....yeah.......about Luke.......

yay! hazing!

Oh I love Annabeth already >:D

Thalia.....is pronounced differently than I thought....?

(I'm sorry I'm too much of a fan of 'Tree on the Hill' for this exposition dump. That shit hits harder when coming from Grover.)

Percy giving Annabeth the "actually I suck and my self esteem is riding on this so like pls don't ask me to do anything hard T_T" talk is just, so good lmao

ofc he doesn't know what's going on Annabeth you didn't tell him anything

Okay the action is a lot better when it's between the actual characters and doesn't involve a 3D monster, though I still had trouble following all the hits Percy was taking.

Oooh I can see why people did so much art of Percy being claimed that was a good shot.

FUCK YEAH TELL HIM YOU'RE SALLY JACKSON'S SON

(I hope they kept the Oracle in the attic...)

Okay I have to go do some things and then I'll be back for more!

[aboutzatanna]

Hey, remember that JLU episode titled ‘The Once And Future Thing: Weird Western Tales’ where a couple of JL members ended up stranded in the old West thanks to time travel?  

Well, turns out there was a comic book very similar to it written by Gerry Conway with art by Don Heck but starring a different set of JL members which may or may not have been the inspiration for the episode:   

The episode was written by the late Dwayne McDuffie who was no stranger to writing in references to older comics. For instance, the two parter ‘Brave and the Bold’ Flash’s hallucinations were references to various Silver Age Flash comic covers and he was also very open about the fact that the line up for the Terra Beyond two parter was based on Marvel comics Defenders (no not the Netflix team, the one with Namor and Dr Strange). Even the episode title itself, ‘Weird Western Tales’ is a reference to the long running anthology series of the same name featuring DC’s western characters. 

The story arc in the comics ran from Justice League of America Vol 1 #198-199.     

While it’s hard to conclusively say that the episode was inspired by the comic, there are some interesting similarities like Batlash’s introduction here:   

I posted Zatanna’s meeting with Cinnamon earlier in another post but here is a little excerpt:  

Interesting to note that one of the goons calls her an ‘Eastern Filly’ (is it because of the way she was dressed or a subtle hint that she is not 100% Caucasian?).  The heroes and their new Western cowboy friends all meet at a Saloon: 

Then they all ride off on horses out of town to confront the villain and of course, faces robot cowboys:   

The differences begin with the choice of the time travelling villain, the comic went with classic JL villain: the Lord of Time:   

JLU went with David Clinton, aka Chronos. He’s a different villain who is primarily the enemy of the Atom/Ray Palmer but has also fought the JL on occasion.   

The Lord of Time on the other hand, is a conqueror from the future who travelled back in time with future technology to conquer the past and rule the future. Sound familiar? He was Kang before Kang.  Since JLU’s version of Chronos comes from the future, you could make a case that version is a combination Chronos and Lord of Time.   

Then of course,  there is the line up, the comic features Zatanna, Elongated Man, Barry Allen and Hal Jordan whereas the show features Wonder Woman, Batman and Green Lantern.  Superman also appears trying to thwart the Lord of Time in the present day.     

On the Western heroes side, we got Diablo instead of Cinnamon and Scalphunter is replaced by Pow Wow Smith (and it only takes a cursory glance at the characters wikipedia pages to see why the socially conscious Dwayne McDuffie made that choice).   

The plot of the JLU episode involved a corrupt sheriff using future technology to take over the town but the plot of the comic is a little different. The Lord of Time sent the heroes back in time, erased their memories, because an anti matter meteor was set to strike earth on that day.   The LoT is counting on the heroes to stop the meteor so he can have it for himself so he can use it to conquer the world.  (Why he doesn’t just get the meteor himself? Maybe he didn’t have the technology to?) 

Anyway, the heroes learn about the anti matter meteor heading towards them, Zatanna is reluctant to leave her new found cowgirl girlfriend with her friends to fight the robots:

But she ends up going anyway:   

Can I just say, I really like this shot of Zee and Green Lantern flying together? Even though she is depowered during this period, they never really stuck strictly to the ‘she can only manipulate the elements’ ethos.  Having her flying alongside GL and being unabashed powerhouse is really cool and shows her place among the DCU. There is no ‘she has to be taken out so someone else can shine’ bs here.  Also, reading these comics, I have felt that GL makes the most sense as the field leader of the JL; power based on creativity and will power and they are specifically trained to work together and take on strange extra terrestrial or otherwise threats. I think any of the human GL’s (except maybe Guy) can lead the team.  

Zatanna and GL  manage to stop the meteor. But in present timeline the Lord of Time ends up defeated by Superman (early on he got in a kryptonite trap set by the LoT but managed to escape) just as the time trapped Leaguers make their way back.      

Awww, a krytonite waterfall wasn’t that bad, Clark.    

Overall, the issue was alright. It does feel like placeholder (albeit a fun one) before the big #200 celebration issue (I posted some scans from that here). Come to think of it, the episode came off as filler as well, with the Western parts feeling like a fun romp and ultimately inconsequential to the arcs of the main heroes but the follow up portion set in the Batman Beyond timeline was more impactful and memorable.   

[kimberlyannharts]

LAST TIME ON THE POWER RANGERS COMICS: Billy broke the Grid in a fit of hubris and has now dedicated the rest of his life to repairing it. With this mission he'll - wait, what? the 2016 series is done? This is an entirely new continuity and unrelated story?

Well. Okay then.

You guys voted for it, so here it is - the first of my Power Rangers Prime recaps! So for the most part this new ongoing series is still the source of a lot of speculation. They keep hyping it up as PR's answer to Marvel's Ultimate or DC's Absolute series, as an alternate take on the franchise and characters, and my thoughts on that are........mixed. But putting that aside, the nature of it means we don't really know what is being planned for this or what exactly this will contribute to the franchise overall. We're in completely uncharted territory, and that's both a good thing....and a bad thing.

It's Power Rangers Prime #1!

= So true Rita now go [REDACTED] Elon Musk. oops, spoilers

= omg yay we're gonna see that altered Samurai suit that the covers won't stop showing off a

= oh wait nvm

Mark: there's a baby in this dumpster

= you know before the issue dropped I kept calling Jun a hybrid based on his name and hair but in the issue proper the implication just seems to be he's pure Eltarian (We only see his Eltarian mother, but Valentina mentions having to teach Jun human customs like traffic lights). Other Eltarians in this issue have non-Z names so I think that's just the book choosing to ditch that element of the 2016 Eltarians (which is a very good thing btw) but Jun's the only one with hair (not counting the few beards we see), so I don't know what's up with that. When are we going to hear the Eltarian hair lore

= Nice propaganda Jun did your MOM teach you that!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (yes because political agendas are a cycle)

= If you know me you know I talk down Melissa's romances a lot and unfortunately this intro for Ryan/Valentina has already given me a bad first impression lol

I won't go further because again, first issue, want to be fair, etc. but I legit groaned out loud at the whole "I'M the scary one, I'M the one who taught him the cool moves >:)" dialogue. It's bad enough that Valentina's character introduction boils down to "girlfriend of Ryan and friend of Jun" but her only other bit of characterization is "whoa, the GIRL is the tough fighter who can beat up the boys"? It's tired at this point, I'm sorry. It's low-hanging fruit for a Power Rangers character to know how to fight. I don't care if she's a good fighter if she doesn't have an actual like. greater role beyond a romance. Ryan doesn't get a lot of screentime in this issue either but he does get established as part of the VR Troopers at the very least so we at least know how he'll impact the story, but Valentina literally has nothing beyond her attachments to guys. I hope that gets fixed in later issues, but after what happened to Aisha in Darkest Hour, I'm cynical. Anyway I better move on before I start ranting about how the women were treated in Darkest Hour again.

(also was Kaitlin not Ryan's love interest in VR Troopers or........)

= you need to lay off the comic books, seriously

= So as no one can shut up about right now: the VR Troopers are in this series. And yeah yeah that's really cool and all I guess, but as someone who's never seen the show, I'm genuinely surprised no one is asking......isn't VR Troopers' whole thing that they get their powers and stuff from a digital dimension? aka VIRTUAL REALITY Troopers? Is that going to be the case here? I mean, I guess it must since they're still called VR Troopers, but it just seems kinda out there for this specific use for them. Watch the VR stand for something like.......Velocity Range Troopers or whatever, something more military-esque.

Also going off that these guys are clearly being set up as antagonists (or at the very least foils to the Rangers) and I don't know why more people aren't picking up on that.

= Melissa I'm gonna need you to look me in the eye: DO NOT. HOOK UP. LAUREN AND ORION. PLEASE resist your instinct to hook up every girl Ranger that makes eye contact with a guy and DO NOT HOOK UP LAUREN AND ORION. There's already too many blond white people in this book we don't need them to make more

Orion: your ancestors are from feudal Japan? Then why are you wh

Lauren: please don't ask me why I'm white.

= ah yes, the well-documented 1954 iPhone

= Selena it should have been you.

[milesandmorales]

I'm kind of disappointed about the direction they are going with the new DA game. I guess I just love the old lore of Origins too much - I sort of wish they were implementing some of the old features in there that made it so magical for me.

** I still think having several opening beginnings (whether they be just 20 minutes long or less) was GENIUS and still hasn't been done again. It just makes the replay factor of the game SO good. Especially when that very specific background comes into play at the tail end of the game. It just brings it to a satisfying full circle and ensures you replay the game several times to its completion to see how that other character's story shall end.

Second - I'm not particularly interested in the fade/tearing the veil conflict. It feels very Marvel - there is a big hole in the sky and an outside threat that we don't feel particularly attached to. Given we did make friends with a couple of spirits in Inquisition - but it still feels a little alien.

It lacks that more internal - base conflict like the conflict of Darkspawn - people can turn into one from being tainted. They are a constant threat banging on the doors of Dwarves. The contaminate old Gods - one began to speak in Awakening. It is a disease that affects EVERYONE even if they'd rather ignore it.

I also really enjoyed the politics of the mages and templars - that was very well done as each side has pros and cons. And finding a solution is neither simple or easy.

Third - protagonist - I loved the Grey Wardens as a protagonist because they are essentially the anti-hero - come from any background but their cause is noble. And yet they are also tainted as well - a great twist.

Hawke was an interesting experiment as it was very interesting to live as someone caught in the turmoil going on around them, but not necessarily they center piece. I also really enjoyed the time progressing feature that they introduced - seeing all the characters grow and change through the years.

The Inquisitor is where it starts to decline - none of your original background matter at all. Your race - maybe - but who or what you were before does not matter. Shit - if you believe you're the Herald or not really doesn't matter that much either. It is your character accidentally being the most useful tool. While the growing of your power is cool cinematically - you do not earn it - therefore it does not feel rewarding.

I just hope the new protagonist isn't another character that just happens to be there at the right time - where their backstory has no options and ultimately means nothing. It just feels stale.

Fourth - dialogue - the simplification of it is so unnecessary/annoying. Baldur's Gate 3 showed that people were perfectly fine/content reading lines of dialogue to decide exactly how they wanted to react. Why do we need a vague wheel?

Lastly - The graphics - I'm not terribly upset about. I would play it regardless of how it looked - although I do enjoy the gritty - old look. I do prefer the old combat - it was a lot more fun to experiment with different builds as a mage or as a rogue/thief. As well as controlling your party. Though - I could see past the combat if the story is more compelling.

ALTHOUGH - if the new game does look like your bag of tea - I truly hope that you enjoy it thoroughly. These are just my thoughts and opinions - nothing more.

[inkblackorchid]

So... about season 3 Aki.

Ok harsh contrast to my previous, excited post, but I did say I had more to yell about episode 75 and I need to get this off my chest anyway. Plus, I remember mentioning in a post that I need to talk about season 3 onward Aki anyhow, so might as well do that now! I am thinking Big Thoughts and I need to Scream.

Long, incoherent, unhinged rant incoming because I have 100 things to say and 100000 screenshots to post, but I am also tired and my brain is mush.

Can we please talk about all the jarringly unfulfilled setup the start of season 3 did for Aki? Because I'm starting to feel an urge to claw at the walls. I'm gonna go through this, piece by piece of damning evidence, because I need to vent my utter confusion and frustration somehow, I guess. Okay. So.

After giving us a bit of time to settle in after the timeskip into the pre-WRGP stretch of things, the itty-bitty portion of the story Aki occupies at this point starts off arguably strong. Yusei gets kidnapped, everyone's in a frenzy about it, but Aki's especially worried.

Then this. Funky new signer powers! Nobody's been able to do this before! I wonder if they're going to do something with that! (Spoiler: They're not.)

Then Aki "no sense of self-preservation" Izayoi gets herself in a bunch of danger trying to rescue Yusei and we get this:

Oh! Wow! Aki can control her powers now! (Which: how. Why did they never show us this. That alone could have made for a whole mini-arc. Why waste that????) That would give the writers so many cool opportunities to let her use them! I wonder if they're going to do something with that! (Spoiler: They're not.)

(Side note: I love this scene. I love it to death. They're both ride-or-die "who cares for my safety when yours is on the line" for each other and I love them.)

Of course, shenanigans then ensue, leading up to Sherry's marvellous introduction.

(Mwah. I blow her a little kiss.)

And it is at this point that Aki Has An Epiphany.

And to top it off, she gets some interesting interactions with Sherry, too!

So Aki resolves that she wants to become a turbo-duellist, too. And the thing is, this isn't a little one-off thing or something they never deliver on. They end up building this up for several episodes, bit by bit. First we get another mention of it at the pre-WRGP press thingy they all attend:

Then it's brought up again when Yusei accepts the first duel against Bruno/Antinomy:

(Also, side note again, but can I just mention that Aki also gets this moment the episode before:)

(Where she literally puts herself directly in harm's way in a public setting to protect people with her powers??? Like, I'm sorry, pinch me or something, but how does that not scream "badass good girl setup"???? HOW?)

So we get at least three episodes worth of buildup where Aki agonizes over becoming a turbo duellist to understand what her friends (but especially Yusei) are feeling when they duel like that, and then they finally deliver on it and episode 75 has her getting her license. And it's fantastic. Seriously. That episode is golden. Not just because it delivers on this promise, not just because it has a really cute moment between Aki and Yusei in it (regardless of how you read their relationship dynamic), and not just because it (as per my last post) showcases how much the rest of Team 5Ds cares about Aki (by literally building a runner for her and accompanying her to her exam and don't even get me started on Jack beating up those jerks trying to make her crash unprompted) but because it gives us just that smidgen more detail about Aki's character, too. Because the thing is, at first, she majorly sucks at driving.

And not only is this realistic to a degree (learning to drive is hard, regardless of what you're learning to drive), it's also great, because you know what Aki's response to it is?

She keeps going. She doesn't let it get her down, she gets back up and tries again. (And from a writing standpoint, this is lovely because that stubbornness is great in situations like this, but you could easily turn it into a weakness in a different scenario if you wanted to.)

And not only does Aki learn driving the hard way here, she also finds herself confronted with jerks who don't want her to succeed,

(Ruka, sweetie, I love you.)

and she makes an absolute rookie mistake during her exam by trying to play a speed spell when she doesn't have the necessary speed counters.

And feel free to disagree, but I think this is also great. Because honestly? While driving a really damned fast motorcycle that I'm not super used to yet, and being expected to make solid tactical judgements in an overcomplicated card game—the rules of which are slightly different when you're playing it on a motorcycle—at the same time, I would likely also mess up like that and accidentally try to make an illegal play. But the thing is, the episode rewards her for sticking it out anyway by letting her pull off a really complicated driving manoeuvre to save herself from her envious turbo-duelling-license colleagues' cheap tricks, and by letting her score a really nice win from a tight spot, much like any of the boys would have in her position.

(Take that, you jerks. Dumbasses only get blurry screenshots.)

So Aki gets her license and is welcomed by the team as a fresh turbo duellist. Hooray!

(I love them all so, so much, help me.)

And we also get this:

Wouldn't you know it! Sherry's been watching Aki get her license with interest! And she seems to be mighty pleased with the result!

So. After all that, I don't think you could blame anyone (it's me, I'm anyone) for getting really excited about what Aki's gonna get up to from this point outward. Aki can control her powers now! And she got her turbo duelling license! And we've got a new, enigmatic side character who seems like she could have super interesting interactions with and play off Aki! I wonder what they're gonna do with all that.

*deep breath*

Sigh.

Seeing as I already know this show like the palm of my hand, I kind of dreaded getting past this episode because I know exactly what happens to Aki from this point out: Nothing. A whole lot of nothing. Okay, well, no. See, I went back and checked all the episodes I have left, just to make sure, just in case I forgot something (very likely when you've already watched the show three times, I know).

From here on out, during the entire pre-WRGP, WRGP, and Ark Cradle arc, Aki gets exactly three things to do:

She uses her shiny new turbo duelling license to fill in for Crow at the Team Unicorn match because he got injured. Which, on paper, is a perfect way to let her have the spotlight for a moment. Except, the only thing she gets that spotlight for is to last a hot four turns in the duel before losing spectacularly to Andre and literally never turbo duelling again for the rest of the show. (Like, yes. The moment where she summons Stardust Dragon is chefs kiss and legendary. But in light of the surrounding circumstances, it feels like a consolation prize to make up for the ensuing character trainwreck.)

Since Crow is technically still injured when they're meant to go up against Team Catastrophe, Aki trains to fill in for him there again. Except! They intentionally make her crash right before the duel, putting her in a short-term coma! And as the icing on the cake, when she wakes up, it also turns out she lost the powers she was only just able to control for absolutely. no. reason. None. They never bother explaining it, they don't even try to hint at why they might have vanished. (I have my own theories for why they had to let her powers vanish and they all start and end with the words "we couldn't be bothered to figure out how to write this character".)

At the very end of the show, the very end, after temporarily fridging Sherry, too, they dig both girls back up in order to let them participate in a three-way final boss duel with Crow. (Which is a fantastic duel, I love it to pieces. Genuinely.) You could argue that they tried to cash in on all the intrigue they set up between Aki and Sherry here, but—come on. At the end of the show? Seriously? Oh, and did I mention that for some reason, Aki's powers mysteriously reappear after this duel? For no reason? Again?

I just. It does not compute. They went as far as doing all this setup, letting Aki get the hang of her powers, letting her get her license, making her part of Team 5Ds, even giving us a new character that seemed like the perfect fit to let her bounce off of—and then, like some sort of kafkaesque reverse-miracle, they somehow managed to take a sharp left into "whoops, don't care about this character" and nearly wasted the entirety of that setup in one fell swoop. If it weren't for that finale saving at least a smidgen of it, I'd be holding a torch and a pitchfork over here. (Hell, I might, even knowing that Aki's final duel in the show is kickass.)

Please tell me if this is just me (15 years after the show released, I know, leave me alone), but this feels like they were literally loading Chekov's gun directly within view of the audience, only to later procede to toss the damned thing into the sea instead of firing it.

Okay. Okay, I think I'm done. For anyone who actually bothered with the whole post, first of all, thank you for your attention, secondly, sorry, but this does, indeed, still bother me ten years after I first found this show, so I had to get it out or it would have eaten at me forever. God damn it.

Anyway, if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to writing fics where Aki actually gets something to do right this second. If anyone's interested in giving a fic series where Aki gets a separate character arc that tries to stay mostly canon-compliant after the defeat of the dark signers a go, you can find my stuff here.

[buckyarchives]

we’re not really strangers | S. Stan [1.]

summary: a broken and washed up writer keeps showing up in Sebastian life as he struggles with his own loneliness. two people in two different world, but the tug is so intense it begins to eat Sebastian raw. he has to learn to love full heartedly and you need to learn to trust again after you got cheated out of your entire life.

word count : 4.9k

warnings: topics of depression, brief mentions of sewerslide, body dysmorphia

author note: i’ve never wrote an rpf and i used to dislike them but i just read a really good one and i watched doll eyes so that started this. i’m basing sebastian’s character based off of psychoanalysis him over that past 4 years (i can’t help it i’m sorry) and the couple of times i’ve met him. but i hope he’s not this depressed irl. take a place a before fresh and it’s mostly his pov. will probably be like 3-5 chapters. also wrote this in like 2 hours please be kind

masterlist | read on AO3

Sebastian stan likes blondes, he likes coffee after noon, working out, his mom, space and all its possibilities. He likes European countries yet he won't leave New York no matter how hard he thinks about it. He loves his family and friends. He likes when people tell him good job and are nice to him; even if it’s only because he's Sebastian Stan.

Sometimes he wonders if he really likes that last one or if he hates it, it depends on the day.

He will spend his days reading and talking with actors or directors, getting flowers for his girlfriend of the season. He doesn't read reviews about his movies. He’ll talk to his mom on the phone as often as he can, he works out almost every morning but he hates running. He stands in front of a mirror before going to bed, alone and vulnerable, picking apart everything he sees and wonders if everyone else sees it too. Probably.

But not tonight.

No, tonight he feels good - better. Recently casted for a new movie, a movie with a script and a director he feels confident about, which is always the best feeling. Last year was good for him, but this year needs to be better. Sebastian is tired and needs to get away from commercial movies and Marvel, but Bucky Barnes will always haunt over his shoulders like the way Carter Baizen did for so long.

And tonight is only the beginning. They haven't started filming yet, not close. Daisy is in the middle of filming and it's still early, too much workshopping and bonding as a team before that. Sebastian likes to know who he's working with, the director and their work ethic and past projects. The co-stars and their humor and if they can cry on command or not.

Mimi is a nice director. She's new and has fresh ideas - ha, that's a pun. She makes Sebastian laugh and not feel like a character even off-screen. Sebastian likes her curly hair.

She laughs and the air is cool, Sebastian can see her breath. “It was a nice day, I'm really looking forward to working with you.”

Sebastian is lonely and this feel like a nice way to segway to ‘i have to leave, goodnight.’

“Me too, and the script is just - wow.” Sebastian exaggerates his words to match his feelings, “it's deep.”

He wants to hold onto the conversation forever and drag it out until it's so awkward he has to grit his teeth. Sebastian doesn't want to go home now - but it's late, past midnight - and despite the rumors, New York does have to sleep sometimes. His stomach grumbles and he suddenly has the appetite of a teengers first hangover.

Mimi nods and thanks him and they continue to walk. Sebastian speaks up, “is it weird to say iI'mhungry and not tired.” he looks down at his watch again, it's almost 2 am.

And Mimi understands, she smiles. “Not weird, I agree. It might be the excitement for this project but – what are you hungry for?”

“Coffee, breakfast food,” Sebastian replies honestly.

The director smiles, Sebastian hopes there are no paparazzi - this looks like a date - no, it doesn’t but the press latch onto any woman he's seen with as a date.

“I know a perfect place, and it is empty,” she says. Sebastian is suspicious - it's late, he repeats in his head.

“This late?” his eyebrows quirked up.

“I know the owner,” she affirms. Sebastian nodded and they continued walking.

Mimi talks about the movie more, how she's close friends with the writer and coincidentally, she met her through the owner of the said cafe they'd soon find a safe haven in. Sebastian nods along to her words and listens, he hates the sound of his own voice sometimes. Listening is nice.

They reach a cafe-deli type. The sign says it is closed and no one is inside but the lights are on. Mimi had a grin on her face as she knocks on the door. Sebastian watched as you came from the back and unlocked the door, Mimi smiles and greets you excitedly but your face remains monotone - almost cold. Mimi takes no offense, this must be how you always are.

You don't take immediate notice of Sebastian, which is nice for once. Mimi talks about how starved she is and desperately needs an egg sandwich from you, Sebastian agrees in his head. You hold your head high and strong like you know better, but not in a snobby way. Sebastian can tell when someone is snobby pretty soon on, people like that end up surrounding him more often than not, unfortunately.

Sebastian's eyes are an icy blue that reminds you of the winter lakes back in the midwest. That’s the first thing you notice, Mimi acts like this is her home as she plops down at the bar. You still don't say anything. Sebastian wonders if you're a writer too, or maybe an actor. He doesn’t recognize you. Sebastian sits next to mimi, he feels weirdly comfortable despite how cold and empty the cafe is.

The sound of an espresso machine starts before Mimi can even order sometimes, she must go a lot and then a coffee is in front of her in no time. You finally turn to him, you're wearing lipgloss, and he notices way too quickly.

“Would you like a coffee, Sebastian?” you ask him plainly. He didn't tell you his name, neither did Mimi. You must know him then, it wouldn't be surprising but weirdly it did.

“Yeah, anything you have. And eggs - sunny side up if you can.” you don’t reply, nodding and your mouth is thin-lipped. Not a smile nor a frown. You leave in the back, Sebastian doesn’t realize his eyebrows were furrowed until Mimi says something.

“Don't worry, she's always like that. I promise she's not miserable or mean.” mimi says, gesturing to the cold demeanor that you carry. Sebastian wonders if Mimi has to explain this to everyone, or if you hate the Captain America movies and mimi just want to make it less awkward.

It's a comfortable silence for a while, aside from the city whispering from behind the glass windows and the sound of your cooking. Sebastian catches glimpses of your face and he can't help but think you're beautiful in a stone-cold, greek statue, model type way. He can imagine seeing your face in a famous painting from the renaissance time.

Maybe you caught him staring, or maybe it was just the cold demeanor again but he swore you glared at him.

“Cooks out - so it might not be as good as usual,” you say and place the food in front of them. Mimi grins and begins to eat. Sebastian pulls out his billfold to pay, he doesn't know you and feels a twang of guilt at the thought of keeping you up past closing time. He wants to pay extra.

You notice him before he can pull out any money, “it's on the house.”

Sebastian thinks of that as a sign that you don't hate him, and you're just monotone.

“Y/N helped Lauryn write the movie, specifically your character too.” Mimimumbled through cheese and bacon.

That’s the first time he's heard your name, Sebastian repeats it in his head so as to not forget.

You scoff and Sebastian thinks for a moment you're mad, you're not. “Helped? I practically gave her the entire idea. And I swear, Mimi if you don't use La jardin for the dance scene, I'll riot in front of your house.”

“You get so defensive every time, but whenever we ask to add you as co writers you say no.” Mimi snarks, shaking her head and smiling. “Mysterious, mysterious girl.”

“Can't say I imagined Sebastian Stan as Steve though, I was thinking more of Chris Pine.” you joke, Mimi knows you're joking but your flat tone makes Sebastian second guess if you are actually upset about it or not. “was he busy?”

Mimi laughs, good - a joke.

“Not even a second choice?” Sebastian smiles sheepishly, he hopes you were joking.

Sebastian thinks you're going to smile, and your lip twitches. You hum and it sounds as smooth as the coffee tastes, like honey. “Maybe third.”

Your eyes warm in his direction, the feeling in his chest is foreign.

“You’re a better critic than you are a casting director.” Mimi jokes again. Sebastian wonders how long you've been friends.

“a critic?” Sebastian perks up, critics are his worst enemy in life. No matter how much he can ignore them, one well-written article can make or break an entire year for him.

“Not actually, I just watch a lot of movies and have strong opinions.” your eyes land back on him.

“Harsh. Harsh opinions.” Mimi makes a point, and you roll your eyes and almost smile again. Almost. Sebastian wants to see you smile, what a weird thought for a stranger he’s only known for 20 minutes. You do make good eggs, but how do you fuck up eggs?

“Anything you recognize me from?'' Sebastian slaps on a cheeky smile, and maybe it's arrogant to think he knows the answer to that. But he is Sebastian Stan and you watch a lot of movies. You open your mouth to speak but Mimi interrupts again, not in an annoying way.

“Don't bruise his ego,” she warns.

How harsh could you be? Sebastian starts to regret asking about himself.

“Anyways, how could I not? I vividly remember seeing the covenant play in the hospital when my baby sister was born; a weird choice for hospital cinema.”

Sebastian's glad you don't mention Marvel or gossip girl, the covenant isn't any much better either though.

“That is very weird. Any critics?” Sebastian doesn't even know why he asked tt, he's going to regret it.

Mimi whispers an ‘oh boy’ under her breath and Sebastian feels like he needs to buckle down and brace himself. Even worse as your eyes scan him, judging him.

“I'm not here was your worst movie and you need to fire your agents or whoever told you that was a good idea.”

Oh?

“I thought it was a good script.”

You look at him as if he had three heads. Mimi looks scared.

“I can see the vision but the story tries too hard to be deep and pretentious - it settles on just being a cry fest and it doesn't even do that well. The main character is just a shitty person with a shitty life and the writing fails to make me feel bad for him, no matter how good you or J.K Simmons's acting was”

Sebastian hangs onto the small compliment hidden in there by his fingernails. You're not done yet.

“I, Tonya was really good. Marvel is… Marvel, same thing for gossip girl. The rest of your characters have been the same angry or toxic men trope over and over again, no offense, you need more range.”

That hurt a lot less than Sebastian expected. He feels speechless, mimi is still eating and is silent. Sebastian isn't hungry anymore and your cold eyes are stripping him down naked. He still thinks you're beautiful.

“Do you like anything I've been in?” why does he keep asking questions he knows he won't like?

You think for a moment, look him dead in the eye, and smile. And even if it's meant to be snarky or sarcastic, Sebastian thinks it's beautiful and warm. Warmer than the coffee in his hands. It reaches your eyes and crinkles at the end and he knows it's genuine, it utterly stuns him and he almost thinks he missed your response.

“Once upon a time.”

Sebastian can’t help but smile at that, “give me one complaint so you don't send me home with a broken heart.” he bargains, half joking with small doubt it won't be back handed.

“I have controversial opinions on superhero movies and the people that play them, but you portray Bucky Barnes really well.'' You say quietly like you're scared of being nice, Sebastian takes it and he doesn't notice he's grinning with a light in his eyes. You don't either, mimi does - she is already texting Lauryn about it.

“I don't like to comment on people's acting abilities because I'm not an actor, but I can tell when someone is good or bad.”

Sebastian narrows his eyes at you. “You sure do comment on people's writing and directing though, you're a writer?”

Your eyes are cold again and your back straightens, even Mimi tenses and Sebastian wonders if he said something wrong. He gets no reply from you, and Sebastian sees a mask fall from your face - one he didn't notice you were wearing until now.

“No, I'm not.” your voice is monotone again. When did it have feelings? Sebastian doesn't remember when you started to sound humane and passionate, he said something wrong.

Mimi rushes the rest of her food in her mouth and reads the room as you retreat behind to the kitchen again, so quickly and quietly Sebastian almost doesn't notice.

“It's now late-late, I'm heading home.” Mimi sighs, heavily implying he needs to leave too. Sebastian agrees.

He glances back at you once more when Mimi yells goodbye, you don't look at Sebastian.

\

Sebastian prepares for the movie, he doesn’t think about you or the cafe for two weeks. He goes on a date and he doesn’t call her back.

his house is suffocating, it’s too big for him and he knows it. women and friends stay over but it feels empty. He needs air - paparazzi - he groans. suck it up, Sebastian. put on a coat and find a place to eat, he chooses a blue sweatshirt and sunglasses.

Every time he goes out he thinks maybe no one will recognize him. He's always wrong. He should know better.

aimlessly he walks. Sebastian knows the streets of New York like the back of his hand. He feels lost despite the fact he’s walked down this street many times, so much changed anyways.

Jones' place.

he remembers the place from a few weeks ago, remembers you and your cold face. Sebastian remembers you smiling and him feeling giddy about it, but now he can’t imagine it in his head. Sebastian had said something wrong, he remembers that. He wishes he got your number.

you knew him and you didn’t dance around him like a celebrity - when did the person get erased and celebrity scribbled in its place? you were normal and not on vogue or GQ and you talked to him like he wasn’t either.

in a daze, he walks in and sits down. it’s open this time, and a group of teenagers sits at a booth in the corner. an elderly man sits alone at a table, Sebastian wonders if he’s married, and if she passed and that’s where they used to sit together. maybe you’d know.

but he doesn’t see you at first. tapping his finger on the bar - you appear and you don’t look at him, don’t notice him. walking straight past him and giving a chocolate croissant to the elderly man, maybe you did see him and are just insanely good at covering it up, you don’t smile at the man but your features lighten.

you turn back around and your eyes hit Sebastian dead center like you knew he was there because Sebastian was right.

“same as last time?” you ask, of course you’d remember his order. it was simple and that was your job.

Sebastian nods, “no egg, just coffee.”

“It's not on the house this time!” you yell as you disappear into the back.

Sebastian smiles for some reason.

\

Daisy Edgar-Jones' accent makes Sebastian feel weirdly at home despite the fact he’s not from England and has never found any sense of comfort there.

Sebastian bites the inside of his cheek as he listens to Mimi speak about the movie, he dozed off, to be honest. the writers and producer speak over each other in the zoom call. Daisy is still in England and they start filming in two weeks. Sebastian is excited - the type of excitement that you mix with anxiety because it also makes you want to throw up.

Your name is mentioned briefly and Sebastian is paying attention now. Lauryn dances around the fact you practically wrote the whole script - why don’t you take credit? Lauryn is an extroverted woman who smiles a lot and tries to make everyone as comfortable as possible, the same with Mimi.

It makes no sense. Why are you so distant and monotone?

Sebastian opens Instagram for the first time in a week. He realized recently most social media was bullshit, he was turning 40 this year, and there are more important things to focus on.

search history.

(imsebastianstan) y/n l/n writer

(imsebastianstan) y/n l/n

(imsebastianstan) sundance film fest

(imsebastianstan) daisyedgarjones

(imsebastianstan) mjonf

/

Sebastian has been acting since a kid, he took a break between then and his first real job but he's been surrounded by film and cameras most of his life. Being in front of a camera should come naturally to him. Maybe it's just a mid-life crisis thing but he feels like he wants to throw up.

Coming back from some stupid junket, he doesn't remember when the feeling of needing to hurl settled in his stomach but even hours after, it hasn't left. Sebastian wonders how many people know that he paces in his room before filming, he'll anxiously bite on his nails and look in the mirror and wonder if he should have skipped that meal earlier.

Home feels foreign now. He misses his mom and he can't seem to find time to go see her. His stomach feels empty - it is empty. He's only had a salad today.

Sebastian wants to flee, where it's private and warm. His steps carried him through the city, maybe he should call that girl back? He doesn't want to be lonely tonight.

Suddenly, he feels the presence of cameras snapping pictures of his panic attacks across the street. It's like a sixth sense now, he hates it. Sometimes when his day will blur and depression hits, he'll see the photos of himself later not recognize the person on his phone. Or he'll just hate what he sees.

He doesn’t want to have to do that routine again tomorrow morning.

Then he remembers you, remembers the street he's on. and then before he can realize his breath is already suffocating him and your cafe is in front of him. It's closed but the lights are on - why is he here? Why is he knocking on the door?

Your face is concerned when you open it, Sebastian's chest feels heavy, can you tell? You must have, you must be familiar with the look of despair, panic, and the intense feelings of doom, because you let him in with no word.

Sebastian's staring again as you make him the same coffees he's ordered twice now. You're nice but guarded, Sebastian wonders if you'll ever let it down. Because he is now. Your hair is tied up and your full face is in view, no muscles move and you look just as monotone and bored as before. You look like statues, beautiful statues. Like your cheekbones and exposed collarbone were sculpted with stone or clay. Your lips are plump, you're not smiling - not frowning. You remind him of the Mona Lisa.

Embarrassment washed over him when he jolted like a paranoid creep as you set his coffee down. Sebastian mumbled a sorry under his breath and you don't say anything still, why haven't you said anything?

A laptop and cup of tea are set in front of the seat next to him, a google doc is open and he sees a script. He’ll feel guilty about it later but his neck cranes to see what is written. Sebastian barely reads a line before the laptop closes with a slam, you're looking at him with a glare, and he flinches again.

“You're nosy.” you say, making your way to sitting next to him now, sipping on the tea and staring off into space.

“Thought you said you weren't a writer?” Sebastian feels like he's going into tricky territory, scratch that - he knows he is.

Mumbled through your lips, “I'm not.”

You sound haunted, Sebastian wants to know why.

Maybe he is nosy.

Sebastian needs to keep talking or else his anxiety will eat him raw, he’ll choke on his thoughts and die in the middle of your cafe. Then he'd feel really bad. At least he doesn't feel lonely, a ghost of a person sits next to him yet he feels more comfortable than in a room full of people. How odd.

“You're not going to ask why I knocked on your door at 11 pm? Or do you just let any stranger in at night?” he tries to joke, but it comes out half-hearted like most things.

“You looked like you were going to die, I'm not going to be responsible for Sebastian stan's death,” you say, scrolling through your phone. Twitter. “I'm sure some 16 year old would dox me or something.”

Sebastian laughs, slowly picking up on your dry humor, but he knows you're unfortunately right.

“How'd you meet Lauryn?” Sebastian asks, clawing at your guarded walls as he also tries to calm himself down. He doesn't even remember why he was panicking earlier.

“A film festival in Greece, 2009 - I think,” you answer honestly, sipping your coffee again. Sebastian notices the rings on your fingers.

Sebastian wants to ask how you got into films - he feels like that's the wrong thing to say again. He doesn't want you to drive him out again, hoping to get your number before he leaves.

The iPhone in his pocket dings, it's Ellie, his date from a few days ago. She's asking if he wants to come over with a winky face, that her bed feels cold and Sebastian wants to throw up again.

“Girlfriend?” you ask, side-eyeing his phone.

“No, I don't have time for that right now.” part lie, not his girlfriend but somehow he always finds time to date. Sometimes he hates himself for it because he always loves half heartedly. He never liked commitment anyways. “You?”

“No,” you say plainly. Changing the subject at an uncharacteristic rate, “why have you so shaken up at such a time?”

Sebastian wonders if he should lie and make up some stereotypical actor excuse, or just say he doesn't know. Avoid the topic that he’s spent the past 3 weeks with new people every day but he still feels lonely. That he wants to crumble in front of any camera. That he's tired of picking himself apart.

But you sit there so mysteriously and Sebastian wants to know you too. Maybe if he gets vulnerable you'd feel okay doing the same, he tries to avoid the thought of expecting that from you, because he shouldn't. This will be an olive branch.

“I feel lonely.” he starts. “I don’t want to be home right now, so I went for a walk, and then the paps -“

he cuts himself off before he turns into word vomit. you're sitting next to him, not looking at his face. Sebastian wants you to look at him.

“you live in the city?”

“Rockland county.”

you hum, “far way to go for a walk.”

“I know.”

a moment of silence, Sebastian wants to cry for some reason. “Are you going to that girl's house?”

Sebastian's eyebrows furrow for a second, you're referring to the text. you were just as nosy as him it seems. and maybe he could go to her house, either it would destroy him or he’d feel a little better. she’d probably ask him about the new movie, flirt, and have sex, she’d talk to him like a character and he’d go home. He doesn't want to go home.

“no.” Sebastian almost whispers, “I'm not sure where I'm going.”

he was so lost, it’s pathetic.

you look at him for once you don’t look frozen. Sebastian wants to know what’s going on behind your eyes. you’re thinking, that’s obvious enough. eyes scanning him up and down he feels vulnerable. it’s unfair how much he doesn't know about you.

“I have a spare room if you're desperate.” you offer. an olive branch. Sebastian feels like choking.

He also feels guilty, because he doesn't know you and you’ve already made him coffee for free when you didn’t need to. “no, you don’t have-“

“You feel so small and tiny in a big house like that, it’s like living with a ghost when you are lonely, right? it feels taunting, even." You speak honestly, speaking from experience, you’ve been where Sebastian has. He still feels like crying but now he understands, the loneliness slowly drains from his body without realizing it.

“okay.” he whispers, almost scared to accept.

this is you being vulnerable, he soon realizes as you tell him you’ll finish closing up - living only across the alleyway in the back. you're being vulnerable by sharing a space, we’re he’ll see you raw and open.

and he saw it. old coffee mugs and everywhere the matching stains in the wood. a sweatshirt is thrown over your couch. a record playing with 80s goth music. bright orange bottles of pills. Banksy prints are nailed on the wall. books on screenwriting stacked on the coffee table. a cut-off and discarded hospital bracelet on the counter.

Sebastian asks about the vinyl, but he doesn’t bring up the empty Xanax bottles or the bracelet. you're glad.

The apartment is small and he feels warm. it’s foreign and strange - but it’s the most comfortable he’s felt in at least a week. you show him the extra bedroom, the beds made and it's mostly empty. a side table with a lamb and a wall full of shelves. books and movie scripts fill it, he sees an oscar award hidden and dusty behind a copy of pride and prejudice.

the front room is filled with warm lights, it’s settled the fog in his brain and he feels better You're sitting on a green couch that you found on the Facebook market place and he thinks you’re beautiful. Sebastian sits next to you and understanding is shared between you two, what it is? he’s not sure. but he feels safe and understood and he doesn’t want to leave.

Sebastian is not tired and neither are you, your leaning intoSebastian'sn touch and he doesn’t question why.

“thank you.” is all he can think to say.

“don’t, not yet.” you sound tortured and Sebastian can’t stop the word from leaving his mouth. he just has to know.

“what broke you?”

too much. everything. nothing at all. a man. my talent and my desire to be my loved, you think. a shaky exhale leaves your mouth and Sebastian thinks he carry your sorrows if you’d just smile at him again.

“I don’t know.” you settle on and Sebastian understands.

Sebastian's hand grazed above your arm, you don’t flinch out of his touch. your warm and soft and he melts. he wants to ask you why you have an Oscar, if it’s yours and why you were at the hospital 2 days ago and why you're chasing him with a stone-cold face

the extra bedroom goes unused and his limbs are warm and feel perfect against yours. the warm lights lull him to sleep, your breath is steady and Sebastian realized you smile in your sleep and he hopes it’s because he’s caressed your back as you dazed off. Sebastian wraps a blanket around the two of you.

now don’t get anything incorrect. Sebastian stan doesn’t believe in love at first sight, sometimes he wonders if he even believes in love at all because sometimes it feels impossible to love. his mother and father taught him commitments are lies and his partners convinced him of that. he loves his friends - he thinks - but they always come and go. they never knew him anyways.

but as the sun hits his face and he feels the blanket around him on your couch. Faye Webster is spinning on the record playing softly and you’re swaying your hips in the kitchen. you don’t realize he’s awake and your mask falls down. your cooking something and humming along, a thin-lipped smile on your face.

Sebastian doesn’t know you but at this moment he does. he feels normal and like he’s known you his entire life. it’s scary and he feels oncoming doom but he lets himself be and watches.

you seemed more alive this morning as you gave him toast. he didn’t ask for it but it was the best toast he has had in a while. Sebastian asks if you slept on the couch all night, you smiled and he almost dropped dead. no reply but that was enough. he danced with you in the kitchen, it was weird and domestic and Sebastian is looking at you like he’s in love.

but he’s not. and neither are you. The fog settles and you say goodbye and open the shop. Sebastian goes home and he never got your number.

and he has to leave tomorrow for Canada and go back to his life.

Sebastian doesn’t talk to you for another week.