#I have Feelings

[so-many-ocs]

grabbing new writers by the shoulders. it is important to write what you love and to love what you write. if you spend all your time trying to make something other people will approve of you will hate yourself and everything around you. learn at your own pace. you have time. i’m proud of you

[gallifreyanhotfive]

I really want to know what precisely was going through the Doctor’s head when the Master was refusing to regenerate. Like, he was the Master. He had escaped death time and time again, even jumping from body to body of other species, going to the Cheetah World, using a Deathworm Morphant, and trying repeatedly to steal the Doctor's body.

This guy clung to life like a cockroach. He survived the Time War, execution, the end of his natural regeneration cycle, and so much more, and here he was, refusing to regenerate...out of spite.

You can see the desperation on the Doctor’s face and hear it in their voice as they realize that no, the Master's not going to save themself. And I will never be over this scene.

[misty-slays-blog]

Sauron’s dynamic with Galadriel is so different from his interactions with others, especially in the way he doesn’t rely on manipulation or flattery to get what he wants. With Celebrimbor, it’s all about exploiting vanity, and with Mirdania, it’s obvious he’s thinking of her as a tool. He picks up on her interest in him and uses it as another way to achieve his goals (I don't think she'll survive the end of the season RIP), but even then, he can’t help but compare her to Galadriel, which says a lot about where his mind is.

But with Galadriel, it’s like he’s stripped of those usual tactics. The teasing ("cease comparing me to a horse"), the unpolished interactions, and the vulnerability of the log scene when he basically admits (almost to himself, he hardly even looks at her) that he feels better around her... all of that feels more honest. It’s like he can’t fully maintain the mask around her. He almost seems caught off guard by the depth of his own feelings.

[kindnessinsilver]

Does anyone else have a penchant for m/m romance with main character who have interesting sexualities and submissive streaks a mile wide? Or is that just me?

Alex Rowland has had me eating out of the palm of their metaphorical hand for the past several months because of some of their main characters. Anybody who has known me for really any amount of time and ever heard me talk about my taste in books will know that I have a tendency to find a power dynamic reading in almost any pairing I really like, but Alex made it easy with some of these guys. They make me want to cry in the best ways because it is so beautiful to feel seen.

Running Close to the Wind:

Avra Helvaçi, absolute feral gremlin brat who just wants to be teased and pitied and mocked and for all his friends to be just a little mean to him all the time as long as they think it’s endearing or hot. I relate to this so strongly it’s almost not even funny, but I can’t say that because Running Close to the Wind is one of the funniest books I’ve ever read. Avra’s sexuality is “yes please how soon?” except for the rare times when it’s “actually can you please just hold me I am sad and tired.” He has been in an on-again-off-again relationship with his best friend and biggest bully for 15 years, and they understand each other and tolerate each other in ways that no one else on the planet ever could.

A Taste of Gold and Iron:

Evemer Hoşkadem shows us a completely different version of submissive leaning that also calls to my soul. He is dedicated to service, honor, and protocol. He is a core guard of the royal family, and he has been chasing this goal for years because he believes that it is something great and noble. Fealty comes more naturally to him than humor or general affection. He believes in the trappings of power but also in the responsibility of power. Power has the responsibility to care for people, live up to their expectations, and accept the service that is its due. He is seeking, trying to find purpose and trying to find someone worthy of his service and his devotion. Evemer wrecks me because I swear I’ve lived those moments and because I’ll always be a little jealous of characters who get to prove their loyalty by risking grievous bodily harm. His sexuality is “meh” and “shoulders” and “competency kink”. Mood.

When I tell you that I hardly included half the incriminating quotes from the internal monologue of Evemer, I mean it. Read this.

Yield Under Great Persuasion: (under a read more because this book came out a month ago)

Tam Beckett, in Alex’s newest book, definitely doesn’t have the same level of obvious submissive streak, largely because it is covered up by a huge swath of bitter and lonely. Still, the interesting sexuality part applies, and he’s got a few lines that sing to me in similar ways. He has been in love with this one guy for 20 years but also he hates him. But also if he goes longer than a week without his dick, he might die. But also if the guy invites him for a second round, he might throw himself out a window. He is angry at Lyford and angry at his favorite god. He is angry at death and the passage of time. The instant he is given a chance (or 2 or 4) to make up for what a shitty human he’s been for years now, he jumps at it. He wants to be good, he wants to be loved, he wants to be worthy. But also he’s an asshole with a sharp tongue and he will push Lyford’s buttons until the man snaps if that’s what it takes to see his real reaction. He’s also got a similar level of touch starvation and need to be held and loved that Avra has.

[winchester-reload]

But, what is peace without you to still my restless heart?

[v4lta01]

Grew up with them <3

[pedgito]

PEDRO PASCAL as EZRA Prospect (2018) dir. Zeek Earl & Chris Caldwell

[watchyourbuck]

Buck has gotten to live and die in that hospital, but not in the way it usually goes. Yes, he’s lost and gotten his pulse back in there, he’s wandered its hypothetical hallways while in a coma, he’s broken through glass to finally breathe on his own and return home. But he’s also watched his sister get married, and he’s also kissed a man. His man. The place where he almost lost it all exactly a year ago,,, becomes witness of the way he finally allows himself to live.

[68spidey]

If you're not poking at your buddies while they're already annoyed, then are you really in the military?

[captain-grammar]

it's heartbreaking listening to ben talk about how much he identifies with outsiders, people who are different, people who are othered and don't fit in with who other people think they should be.

it's heartbreaking to hear him talk about how badly his childhood fucked him up. how he has abandonment and trust issues. how he went to therapy because how he was treated as a kid fucked him up so badly, he literally cannot remember huge chunks of his past because his brain, trying to preserve some sense of self, shut down and blocked it out.

but it's empowering and heartening to hear him take institutions like private schools and the armed forces and their ilk to task. to call out the classism and the snobbery and the grown men who bullied and belittled him. they are archaic. they are ridiculous. they are abusive. they are staffed by elitists who train and groom impressionable kids to become the next generation of out-of-touch elitist to keep that "good old boys" club going. molding kids into government drones, yes-men or politicians to keep anyone who wasn't born with a silver spoon in their mouth down.

it's empowering to hear him talk as someone who was forced inside the ivory tower, hated everything it stood for, and is ready to raze it to the ground.

he wasn't made for that. you watch anything he's written and you know he has compassion and feels deeply and has some fucking humanity about him. giving a voice to stories that we never got to hear. i'm glad he walked away from what it seems like every adult in his life was trying to push him into. i'm glad he gets to be himself.

[skialdi]

Another sketch commission 💜

[lililovesthings]

Seriously though WHAT IF Aziraphale mourned Crowley when he fell?!?! Like this...

What if Ed is still mourning Stede and he doesn't know that he's coming for him?!?!

I am also aware I now need to watch What We Do in the Shadows...does this involve a broken heart too????

[definedvines]

i think the thing that bothers me the most about the.... "resolution" of naoto's character arc in persona 4 is not simply that they "aren't really trans," but the way they weakly attempt to explain this. They really brush it away as "ohhh guys they really did want to be a woman this whole time!" when instead if you read it closely, it feels a lot more like them feeling like "i really do wish i was born a man, but that's just not the case, so i have to swallow my pride, accept my circumstances and deal with how it is." which... sucks, and is probably why they try to explain it away in a way that doesn't feel right or connected well.

we've seen stories be able to execute just fine the sort of plot where a character has to pretend to be a man for a certain reason and in the meantime is also struggling with gender roles, while still very likely being a cis woman, like mulan. the thing about naoto that's different is that being a different gender than the one they were assigned at birth ties heavily into their life... they connect it very emotionally to the characters in fiction that they looked up to, and i mean come on, the true feelings their shadow said in the TV really say it all... naoto is willing to go to extreme lengths to present as a man, permanently, and it's weird to think they'd have all these feelings and desires just simply because their working field is misogynistic and they just had to do it to get far in their field, or whatever.

[kaleidoscopeminds]

i'd set myself on fire just to keep you warm ☀️

[v4lta01]

Excuse me I need to go cry.

I love this scene.