#I hate people who use the term friend zone

[theyluvlyss]

hi! i was wondering if you could write dating hc's for duncan and courtney (separate) please?

𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐝𝐨 𝐝𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐚𝐧 !

but unfortunately, I do not currently write for courtney :(. although, I hope you like what I do have written and that it doesn't discourage you from requesting in the future :).

𝐓𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫

《 ♡ 》 headcannons

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 :

you went on this stupid, island, reality show to win $100,000, which could've most definitely changed your life for the better. but instead, you got a delinquent meat-head who had... somehow, earned your heart faster than the cash. "how" and "why" is beyond you. but at least you could come up with a list of some semi-convincing reasons as to such...

𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 :

fem!reader x duncan - she/her/hers pronouns

𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞 :

season one (total drama island)

𝐓𝐖/𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 :

harsh language/cursing - dangerous elements/themes mentioned - duncan being himself lmao (possibly a little ooc? I apologize if so) - established romantic relationship - casual dominance (cuz ik that can irk some people) - possessive terms (my, his, etc).

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

When you applied/auditioned to be on the show, you didn't actually think they'd pick you. It was a stupid dare amongst friends back home! No way would they pick some random girl with no experience or even a resume from (home/town/city).

And then, they did😃.

Next thing you know, you're being flown out to Canada and then dropped off from a yacht on some random, deserted island. Just your luck to apply for a scammy and sketchy reality show rather than what you were promised...

And, to top it all off, your host might as well have been a sociopath, your chef, a psychopath, and you were now forced to spend your time with twenty-two other lunatic teenagers for eight weeks. Eight. Weeks. To be fully and completely clear, you did not want to be here.

How could this get any worse?

Duncan. That's how.

He irked you at first. No, you didn't hate him. He actually had his moments where you found him quite funny with a sarcastic quip he had said or entertaining with some random stunt he pulled.

But other than that...

"I'm not jumping. I miss the safe zone and get eaten alive by sharks, and then what?"

"Oh'ho, you're jumping, sweetheart. I'll be damned if you lose this challenge for us because you're not a strong swimmer."

"That's not what I said. And what're you gonna do? Make me?"

...you were firm on your dislike for him.

Not that the feelings weren't reciprocated, of course. Though he wasn't exactly opposed to eying any pretty girls he happened to come across, he didn't intend to date. He came to win $100,000, just like the rest of them. And though he had grown used to the way your attitude struck any and everyone who tried to manipulate you into doing something you didn't want to do, at least you weren't Courtney, stick shoved up your butt.

Onto the more headcanon-y portion of this list...

I feel like Duncan actually wouldn't be opposed to random hookups or anything like that. But, once he has specific eyes for someone, he treats things as if he's already bagged them (manifesting king😻✨️). And in this case, them is you. He didn't get the hots right away, but after a couple of weeks or so of spending basically all of his time around you (being on the same team and all), he wasn't too surprised upon coming to terms with those feelings.

Not that you could exactly tell, with him running around calling you "sweetheart" and "angel-face" and whatever other petnames he could come up with on the fly. You figured it was just him being...well... Duncan! Not to mention, you weren't exactly all that fond of him.

Did he know that? Yes. Did he care? Ehh. You'd warm up. He'd actually make sure of it because even if the show didn't end with him either winning the money or getting you as a girlfriend, the least he'd accomplish is wooing you.

He's not gonna sacrifice his reputation for that, so he'd have to play it cool. And during the seventh challenge, an opportunity came to light; he'd help you concor your fear! Not only would it win your team the challenge, but it'd be a huge step into winning over your heart. With peering eyes (and cameras around), he was there to be your tough-love.

"Get over it, toots, it's just (your/fear)!!"

"Do not mess this up for us, or I'll guarantee you go home tonight."

"I've been in juvie with worse than this...!"

But, without any evidence to prove it besides your word and a blushing face, he was totally sweet on you.

"C'mere, sweetheart, it ain't that bad. You just need a little warming up to the idea, that's all~."

"The worst that could happen is you'll be called a chicken. It's not like you'll get voted off. Not while I'm here."

"Babe, you are entirely too cool to be skeezed out by (your/fear). We're gonna have to work on that, yeah?"

Him sling-shotting you through such emotions and behavior was intense. But not as much as the way it kept you hooked. And every time you would start to grow fed up, want nothing to do with him, even cuss him out...

Life (Chris McLean) would manage to thrust you two back together. Until, eventually, you got together. I mean, no official labels or anything yet, but god forbid another guy on either team just breathed sultry in your direction (coughCodyprobablycough). Or if you got hurt during a challenge. Or whenever anyone (butmostlikelyHeather) had it out for you.

And in those moments, I think Duncan wouldn't be as good as hiding his infatuation with you. Not that anyone actually had the gall to tease him for it. Besides, he had managed to make his admiration for you look cool. Always muttering a slick, "She wants me." to his guy friends, or smirking at any intimate reaction you'd give him in front of your peers.

All in all, he's a cocky shit. But he made it work in a charming way that you couldn't quite place, and made you wonder why you were even attracted to it/him at all.

And, surprisingly, he could be quite the gentlemen. Rough around the edges, sure, but see if you ever have to hold a door open for yourself or climb down from something without his hand being offered to you ever again.

He even makes sure to censor himself around you! Er- well, tries. If he deems a curse word too heavy for you to hear come flying out of his mouth, it goes a little something like this:

" ...So I rush 'im, right? And then can you believe the motherfucker-...! Sorry, babe. Can you believe this idiot actually tries to shank me?! Wild stuff, man..."

As if he's not already sitting around the campfire telling the most gorey juvie/jail story ever. But nope, the extra heavy cuss words are the stuff that's impolite for your ears🙄✋🏽.

#it'sthethoughtthatcounts♡.

OH!! And casual dominance? Definitely a thing in the relationship. Mainly from him, with a simple, "C'mere, doll." or a motion of the hand/finger over towards him. But let's not lie and say this dude isn't a sucker for the moments you boss him around...

"Duncan, go grab that for me, please?"

"I'm busy-"

"Now."

. . .

No further protest, your item retrieved and dropped into your hands with swiftness, and a light red dust on his face badly hidden under a scowl.

Things would get serious/official if one of you two got voted off of the island, though. If you got voted off, he'd be sure to give you the most profound goodbye he can in the very limited amount of time he has to actually say it. Make it very clear you're his girl, "...for anyone thinkin' about trying to make a move while I'm not around." And, he promises that if he wins, he's coming for you, and you'll run off together with the money. Cliche, but how could you say no?

If he gets voted off, he sticks on a brave face and basically threatens you to win lmao😭. Think of it as very intense encouragement coming from a deep down place of love.

"Babe, you better win this whole shit, 'cuz I'm gonna be rooting for you back home. Need these losers to see that my girl is the shit."

I could probably go on forever, but I don't want to make this too long :')...

𝐈 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 !!

this is my first post (as in writing/content) ever, so yay me :D ! and for the person that requested, again, I hope you enjoyed this 'cuz it was fun to write ! although I really don't like the title, but I couldn't think of anything better😭...

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭

none :(

𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐁𝐲 :

anon <3

𝐓𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐚 𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 :

[naomikozura]

Playing With Fire: Chapter 10

Jason Todd (Red Hood) x Fem!Reader (Criminal)

Trope: Enemies to Lovers, Forbidden Romance

Warnings: strong language, violence, mentions of gun use, abuse, mentions of bombs, death, mental and physical torture, bodily harm, blood, angst no comfort, past trauma (lmk if I missed any!)

WC: 11.7K

Summary: Six years ago...

Series Masterlist

Chapter 9 || Chapter 11

Six Years Earlier || Jason’s POV

Gotham Academy was known for its influx of high society students all of which were practically bred into the life of glitz and glamor. If there was one thing he hated more than criminal scum, it was that of the students at Gotham Academy. The uptightness, the rude, and mainly the ones who only talked to him in hopes to get to Bruce Wayne, his adoptive millionaire of a father. Jason never bothered to try and make friends, especially since he could sense their motives from a mile away. He didn’t care about school, his life revolved around nightlife. His responsibilities as Robin. Ever since he first put the suit on he felt exhilarated, he felt whole, like he was on top of the world. His day life was too mundane, too boring. 

The teacher rambled through another lecture, trying to get the students involved and even though a few did catch interest, Jason felt bored and ignored the teacher to look out the window. The class was right next to the open field that was by the entrance of the academy. He noticed three figures walking up the sidewalk to the front doors. It was a taller dark haired man, a red headed woman, and a smaller figure. A girl. close to his age or probably a year younger than him. Was she late? Was she new? 

“Mr. Todd. Would you like to tell us what we just discussed?”, Jason snapped to look at the teacher who stood tapping her foot impatiently. 

“I, um..”

“Focus. Next time I won’t give you a warning.”, Jason scowled at her comment, sliding down in his seat as he zoned out once again. Another 15 minutes passed and there was a knock on the door. The teacher stopped to open the door and the schools Head Director stepped through, the girl from earlier behind him. Jason immediately snapped up, his attention back in focus. 

“Good morning class. Sorry to interrupt Ms. Leonard but you have a new student for your second hour class. Class, this is (Y/n) (L/n). She’s new at Gotham Academy and she’ll be in your second year classes for the remainder of year and moving forward until graduation. Please introduce yourself during passing periods and make her feel welcome.” 

You didn’t say hello or even introduce yourself, you just moved to the first empty seat you saw and class continued for the last ten minutes before being dismissed. Jason followed behind you, seeing as some people tried to introduce themselves and you just ignored them. Aren’t new kids supposed to like this type of attention? 

The school day went by and Jason found that the two of you shared two classes together, which was a given since you were in the same year and Gotham Academy kept classmates close to build those networks and friendships. 

The day ended and Jason walked back to the Manor, his head focused on you all day. Why did you look familiar? He didn’t see you after class, especially since the last hour you had different classes. When he arrived home, he went to the kitchen to find Alfred preparing dinner for him, Dick, and Bruce. Jason walked to the fridge and grabbed a water bottle out of the fridge and undid the cap as he heard Alfred’s voice echo through the room. 

“Good afternoon Master Jason. I hope school went well today.”, his voice was calm as it normally was, Jason watching as he placed something into the oven. 

“Hey Alfred. Yeah, it was interesting. We have a new girl in our class”, Jason said as he leaned over the counter, taking a drink of his water. 

“A new student? Isn’t it a bit late in the term?”

“That’s what I was thinking. Maybe her family was able to pull some strings and get her enrolled. She’s quiet.”, Jason thought back at your actions back at school.

“She’s probably just not used to such a place like the academy. You remember how overwhelming it was when you first started?”, Alfred had a point.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right Alfred.”, Jason grabbed another water from the fridge before heading upstairs. “I’ll be down for dinner in a bit.”

Jason closed the door, locking it before pulling out his laptop and trying to do a soft search on your background. He used Bruce’s background systems, the state or the art and yet, you were completely nonexistent. No background, no family, no education, nothing. But how did you get into Gotham Academy if you didn’t even have a public record? 

He thought, thinking of the names of the couple he saw walk you into the school. He typed in their names, and like he hit the jackpot, he was able to see their family history and that you were adopted recently by them. The East End Orphanage. Where all the kids who live on the street go if they’re under 18 and somehow get caught by the police. Jason knew that most kids preferred to live on the street than deal with the messiness of an adoption, to deal with the publicity and image that the families would get for helping a “troubled life”. It was an ego booster for the high class in Gotham. Nothing more. 

Yet, he wanted to give your particular family the benefit of the doubt. 

Maybe it wasn’t that way for you. 

Jason closed the laptop. He had no right looking into your background when he didn’t even know you. You could just be some other new student and mind your business and him his. Yet a tugging in his chest made it difficult to leave things just be. 

He ignored the thought as he changed out of his clothes and went into the gym, letting his mind drift into patrol training versus the new girl in his class. That needed his focus more. 

Jason looked out the window, taking in some of the seniors outside in the lawn playing soccer as he tuned out whatever his teacher was saying about midterms. Right then, the bell had rung for class to be dismissed, his body in autopilot as he grabbed his bag and walked into the hall, the crowds of students flooding the hallways as he made his way to his locker. Although Jason was well known and popular at the Academy, he often felt bored with the day to day, his friends being the only thing keeping him from just skipping class. That and Bruce would actually kill him if he found out Jason was skipping his classes. 

As he walked towards the lockers, he saw a familiar set of (h/c) hair, his heart skipping a beat as he watched you in front of your locker, your face buried in a textbook. Jason stopped in the hall, contemplating his next move as he bit his lip, his impulsiveness winning over logic. He walked towards you, trying to come up with an approach in the five seconds it would take to reach you. 

He walked towards you, all eyes watching as he reached your locker and your head lifted, turning to face him with a blank expression and darkness in your eyes. Damn. If he didn’t already know any better he would think you wanted to rip his head off with how dark and blank your stare was. You didn’t say anything, and it made him get a chill from the awkwardness that filled the air, but forced himself to speak with confidence. 

“Hey”, he said in a calm, even tone, casually leaning against the locker next to yours. 

You stared at him blankly, your face neutral with uninterest. 

“I’ve seen you around.”, he continued. “You’re new here right? I just thought I’d say hi.”

You glanced at him, your eyes cold and indifferent. You didn’t smile or reply right away. You just closed your book, pushing it into the locker neatly before closing it then turning towards him. “I’m busy.”

Jason raised an eyebrow, trying to keep his composure but you really were standoffish. “Hey, I’m not a bad guy, I just… I’d like to get to know you better.”

Before you could answer, Jason’s friends, who had been watching from a few paces away, decided to make their presence known. They swaggered over, clearly enjoying the spectacle. 

“Jason, are you seriously trying to talk to her?” one of them snickered. “You know she’s got a reputation, right?”, by the time Jason tried to catch you, you were long gone, disappearing into the ocean of people. He felt a tug in his gut, an annoyance flooding him as he listened to his friends continue their stupid spiel. 

Another friend stepped closer, crossing his arms with a smirk. “Yeah, I heard she’s been in trouble—like, serious trouble. Thief, arrested, all that crap. Why waste your time?”

“Guys, seriously, lay off. I’m just trying to have a conversation.”, he protested. “She’s new, it doesn’t hurt to make transfer students feel more welcome.”

“She isn’t a transfer dude, she was picked up off the street.”

One of them threw their arm around his shoulders, leaning in mocking him. “Oh, man. Are you that desperate? C’mon you’re a Wayne. You can do better than that.”

“Seems like Mr. Wayne passed down the charm, always gotta be nice to everyone.”

“Shit, Jason. You could use that charm on any other girl, why her?”

“Why don’t we fuck with her, set her up on a fake date and see if she shows. Man that’ll be hilarious” 

Jason felt a surge of annoyance. What dicks. “You guys are assholes. Why are you guys even indulging in dumbass rumors, just because there’s talk doesn’t mean it’s true.” 

“It’s not about what’s true or not. She has a record, someone found her juvenile record, it’s fact. You’re really gonna get involved with someone like that?”

“C’mon man, you’re a Wayne, you got no business entertaining someone at that low of a level”

Little did they know he also had a juvenile record, luckily enough, Bruce was able to keep it off public. It was erased completely actually. Regardless of his name, thanks to his adoptive father, he was no different than you. The Wayne name was the only thing that separated him from who he was before Bruce found him. His jaw clenched at how easy it was for these assholes to rip into anyone they saw as beneath them. 

“Whatever. I’m not interested in rumors.”, he spit out, his friends only shrugging and laughing it off. 

“Ah, alright. We’re just fucking around. C’mon let’s go to gym. Coach will kill us if we’re late again.” 

Jason rolled his eyes, his head turning back down the hall, staring at the empty space where your presence lingered before he turned around and continued down the opposite direction with his so-called friends. 

He wondered if he’d see you at the Academy again, his mind filled with how different the entire interaction could’ve gone. He pushed the thought away as he continued down the hall, the day passing by and everything continuing as it normally did everyday.

Once school was released, Jason sat outside during the last few minutes of the day before heading off, heading a group of girls past behind him and started to laugh. Their voices clawed at his insides. 

“Is that…. Is that her?”

“Yeah, I heard that they took her off the streets after she got arrested”

“Who let a person like that into the academy? Have we started going downhill?”

He turned his head slightly to see what they were laughing at. Jason felt himself burn with anger, his chest filling with an anger he didn’t know how to control. He turned his head, looking at the girls as they stifled their laughs and pointed at you as you walked by. 

He knew the girls did nothing but start rumors, they were known for this at the academy but he felt something stab at him when he saw you trip and fall to the ground, the contents of your bag falling everywhere. This fucker. Jason thought as he saw a familiar set of blonde hair towering over you, mocking and laughing at you. 

“Looks like you still enjoy picking trash off the ground, streetrat.”, the comment alone made Jason boil. You were picking up your belongings when he saw the guy grab your arm and tighten his hand enough to make it noticeable. 

“Hey, I’m talking to you, street rat” 

Jason had enough, if he didn’t stop this no one else would. He was surprised they were even able to find out who you were in the past few weeks. Turns out the blonde’s father was in business with your adoptive father and he had mentioned the topic of adopting you from the East End Orphanage and so started the whispers in the hallways. Even Jason couldn’t ignore them. 

“Now, let’s calm down, yeah?”, Jason’s voice hardened, stepping in front of you to block you from view in hopes they would leave. 

“You’re lucky I don’t have time to waste on charity cases, Todd.”, and with that he left. 

“Sorry about that, you okay? It looks like your arm might bruise up”, Jason stretched his hand out to help you stand but you pushed him aside and walked away. 

“Hey! You’re walking away again?”, he hadn’t even had enough time to stop as you whipped around to look into his eyes, his heart skipping a beat. 

“Who are you? What do you want?”, you asked him with a sting in your tone. He looked at you with surprised eyes.

“I remember you, from a few months ago. I offered you water.”, he tried to get you to listen but you replied harshly,  not bothering to turn around. 

“No, sorry. I think you got the wrong person.”. 

He stood there in place as you walked off, heading back towards the courtyard to grab his own bags when he noticed the same blonde from earlier. He walked up, grabbing his bag and throwing it over his shoulder. 

“What’s up with that, Todd? We don’t give people like her a second thought. This academy was built on prestige, don’t waste your time trying to convince her that she belongs here. She will never be one of us.”

“I think that’s a load of shit and you know it, Mitch.”

“Whatever. But know where your loyalties lie. You’re the son of Bruce Wayne, not some street rat who plays suits.”, with that, he turned and walked away. Jason watching his retreating figure. 

Little do they know. 

He breathed before walking back towards the manor. 

There was an overwhelming sensation flooding his body, the way he was able to take flight and feel the wind on his skin and feel free. For the first time in his life, Jason felt on top of the world. Jason took a deep breath, savoring the crisp night air as it whipped past him. He was stunting his new Robin suit that Bruce had helped update for his growing stature. The mask fit his face better and the utility belt held more variety of weapons.

The new Robin suit was more than just an upgrade; it was a symbol of trust and growth. Bruce had never given him this much space before, and Jason intended to prove he was ready for it. The suit's upgraded features and enhanced utility belt felt like an extension of himself, perfectly in tune with his movements. It was the best thing that he could receive almost like he was a kid opening presents on Christmas. 

He had the night to himself. It was rare that Bruce would let him out on his own, but he promised to stay out of trouble in order to get him to approve of his nightly adventures. He was at an age where Bruce trusted him to go out alone and not get into trouble. Trouble meant being potentially benched from the field and that was not something he wanted. Not when he felt on top of the world right now. 

He found himself going through the city, jumping from the roofs of buildings one after another. He came across a building that looked over the main streets of Gotham, the lights shining up from the ground. He jumped on the top of the roof and looked down at the streets. The sounds of the cars passing by and the small noises of the people left on the street filled the night to keep it from feeling eerie. 

Jason looked over the passing cars, his eyes looking over the streets until he turned his head, catching a glimpse of a figure sitting on the edge of the building. He used the compact binoculars in his belt to look, seeing a girl around the same age as him, her back facing him so she was oblivious to his quiet figure. He wondered what she was doing out alone in the cold, and why so late at night?

He jumped down from the building that was just a bit taller from where you sat. walking over to you, his stealth helping from making a loud noise when he jumped down. He noticed that she had (h/c) hair, reaching her mid back and it was a bit messy, blowing in the air since it started to get colder as the minutes passed. 

“It’s a bit chilly to be out here isn’t it?”, he said, announcing his presence. 

You turned around, looking at him with the most beautiful pair of (e/c) eyes he had ever seen. You were prettier than he thought. Hell, he can’t even remember if any of the girls at the Academy were as pretty as she was. Your skin being illuminated by the light of the city, noticing your knee bouncing from the cold. It was a lot colder tonight than the past few days. 

You saw his face and after looking down at his chest, the noticeable ‘R’ shining on his chest like a badge of honor and protection. You seemed to visibly calm down. That gave him the perfect in to get closer to you. 

“Shouldn’t you be with the Batman or did you finally get granted privileges?”, you spoke out, the sarcasm dripping from your tone. He smirked to himself, amused by your comment. 

“That’s funny, but I do go solo sometimes, get a feel of the streets.”, he walked over and stood next to where you were sitting, trying to act as cool as possible at the fact that he was sitting next to one of the prettiest girls he had seen in a while. Probably ever in his whole life, even more than Barbara. 

“What are you doing up here? Don’t you have a curfew?”, he genuinely asked, wondering why someone as young as you was sitting out in the middle of the night. Of course, she could ask the same to him. 

“I snuck out. Don’t necessarily care what the family tells me.”, he noticed the sadness in your tone and the fact that you didn’t say ‘my’ family but ‘the’ family. Were you adopted? An indentured servant? 

“I see, well, I’m Robin, what’s your name?”, he smiled at you, hoping he could get some sort of response. 

“If I tell you, will you leave me alone?”, Okay ouch. 

“Depends”, he said while swinging his feet, trying to act as nonchalant as he could to get a name out of you. 

“Depends on what?”

“Depends on how this conversation goes.”, Jason kept poking at you, hoping you would give your name even though he knew he couldn’t give his in return. 

“(Y/n).”

He smiled over at you before looking back over the city. It suited you well, it sounded like it would be the only name he would end up thinking about for the next few days.

“That’s a nice name”. 

He noticed your hands shaking, pulled open a small compartment to his belt and pulled out a little baggie, turning on the heat button and passing it to you calmly. You looked down at his hands before you hesitated in taking the item. 

“It’s a hand warmer”, Jason answered, knowing your question was stuck in the back of her throat. Your eyes narrowed slightly before taking it, he watched as you let the warmth sink into your skin and hold it in a tight grasp. 

“Why are you up here alone?”, he found himself a bit intrigued, he couldn’t quite place why he wanted to sit and talk to you, maybe it was just his hormones, puberty, or something else but he couldn’t bring himself to care for the reason. 

“It helps me escape.”. He paused not knowing what to say to that but somehow understood what you meant. Hell, he chose to become Robin to escape from living in the streets. Of course, Bruce found him and took him in, training him and showing him the ropes but it was still his form of escape. His freedom all wrapped in red, black, and yellow. 

“I don't have to think about the world down there, I can just escape reality for a while”, Jason stared at you for a moment longer, feeling the emotion that poured out of you touch him “This city hasn’t been kind to me, so being up here lets me escape that I live in this shithole.”

“Would you leave if you could?”, he asked. 

“Oh god, yes. If I could hop on a plane and disappear from this city forever I would do it in a heartbeat.”, Jason smiled at the response, a part of him having the same feeling. 

He felt like he could escape from his life on the streets when Bruce took him in. He felt like this second life as a vigilante distracted him from the cruelty in the world, wishing he could get rid of all the bad people in the world and make it a better place. 

“Yeah, me too.” he answered truthfully, hoping you’d find solace in his answer. 

Jason felt your eyes staring at him, and he turned to look at you. Everything seemed to fall perfectly into place, the moment was everything he needed at that point in time. Right when the moment seemed too perfect to be ruined, that familiar voice rang out through his comms. 

“Robin, where are you?”, he turned off his radio, forcing himself to his feet and stepping off the ledge. 

“I’m sorry. I have to go.”, he apologized and noticed your face glow with a small smile. It made him happy knowing there was someone who found the same escape in such a shitty city. Right as he turned to leave, he stopped, turning towards you, and speaking out. 

“I hope we can meet again soon, it’d be nice to get to know you more (Y/n).”.

~

~

~

Jason felt like a love sick boy, the days went by slowly when he wouldn’t see you. He knew the both of you went to the same academy, but he couldn’t risk making himself stick out that much to you. It would give away who he was too carelessly. Though, he enjoyed being able to spend the spare time of his patrol nights with you. You both shared your dreams and future aspirations, the way the world was cruel but there could be good in it too. 

The both of you had a lot in common, Jason especially liked that your eyes would shine when you talked about traveling and seeing the world. You wanted to try all these different foods and see different museums, the biggest libraries, everything. He liked that the most, that you found interest in similar things like he did. He loved reading books and you liked art and museums. You were deep and intricate about things people at the Academy were very surface level about. When you mentioned wanting to visit libraries and galleries abroad, Jason turned to you, raising his pinky up and promising a pact for the two of you. You stared at him before raising your own pinky, promising with him. Jason promised to leave Gotham with you once you were old enough, to see the world and visit every place on your bucket list. He got drunk off your laughter, especially when you smiled at him and promised that you would follow him to every part of the world.

Jason wasn’t sure when he started to feel so strongly about you, but he was sure he was starting to fall for you. You two just clicked, it was all so natural, so calming, so mundane. It brought him into wanting to live a normal life with you, maybe even the rest of his. He liked that you had a fiery personality, you weren’t scared to stand up for yourself and you were passionate about the things you wanted. It made you stand out that much more to him and he wondered if any part of him stood out to you too.

Jason remembers you sharing about your life on the streets, the way the family that was a part of Gotham’s elite adopted you, and the way you felt grateful but spiteful at the same time. He felt his heart tug at the thought of the city being so cruel to you. He wanted to be the one you found comfort in. He could see how your eyes changed when he told you how happy he was when someone like Bruce had taken him in, seeing the softness in your eyes. Jason found comfort in you, even if you were only strangers to one another, he enjoyed knowing you more. 

Jason felt the wind on his skin and brushing through his hair, the wind softly blowing yours as well. The both of you stood on the ledge of the building, looking down. Jason was known for his crazy antics within the family, his impulsivity, but in that moment he was sure he wanted to show you what flying felt like. He grabbed the grappling hook from his belt, extending his hand out to you, your eyes filled with confusion and uncertainty but took his hand anyway. 

The way you felt against him made him go crazy, almost like your body was made to fit in his perfectly. He grabbed you tightly, your arms around his neck and he shot the line and jumped off the building once it hooked. You were in the air for what felt like a lifetime, the sound of your laughter filling the air and his own following after yours. 

He kicked the window to the abandoned building in order to land safely, rolling over, Jason found himself under you, his heart beating fast inside his chest. The laughter leaving your mouth still sounds like a melody to him. 

Jason raised his hand and brushed your hair behind your ear, your smile still painted on your face in the most beautiful way. He smiled back at you, still trying to catch his breath. In that moment, he felt as though he lost control of all thought, he lost all self-control, he needed you to know how he felt. Needed to know how you tasted. 

He leaned up, placing a hand behind your head, and softly placing his lips against yours. He felt you tense slightly, but leaned into the kiss, the softness of them making him swoon. He tried to memorize the way they felt against his own, wanting them for the rest of his life. 

Jason wanted you, he was so sure. He hadn’t ever wanted anything so intently and intensely in his life before, not even being Robin compared to how he felt with you. You were like a newfound freedom, a deep rooted connection he never wanted to get rid of, a reason to keep going. 

And he would be yours in a heartbeat, all you had to do was tell him.

He wanted to be yours, he wanted you to have him.

All of him. 

That night, Jason returned to the Batcave, his heart still racing from his time with you, your touch lingering and overwhelming his senses. As he made his way in, the subdued hum from the Batcomputer and the dim lighting created a comforting backdrop, making the ambiance seem fitting to the cave. He took off his domino mask, holding it in his hands as he began to slip out of his Robin suit and started stowing it away when he heard Bruce’s voice, deep and steady, as it called out from the shadows. 

“You’re back early tonight.”

Jason’s head looked up, taking in Bruce’s form as he stepped out from behind the Batmobile, his cowl coming off his head as he revealed his face in a calm resting expression. Bruce;s eyes focused on Jason’s form, a mixture of curiosity and intrigue filling his expression. 

“Yeah, just finished up early.”, Jason replied, trying to keep his tone light as he shrugged. He moved over to the equipment area, pretending to check his stock in his belt. “Gotta keep an eye on things, you know, Robin things.”

Bruce’s gaze didn’t waver, his deduction already aware of where exactly Jason had been spending his nights alone the past few weeks. “You’ve been in a good mood lately. Anything specific happen tonight?”, Bruce questioned as he walked over to the computer. “You’ve been disappearing quite a bit on your solo patrols, even when we don’t have missions.”

Jason shrugged again, trying to stay nonchalant but couldn’t mask his subtle smile. “Nothing really, just nice to get out and do things alone. You know how it is.”

Bruce raised an eyebrow, not entirely convinced by Jason’s answer. “You’ve been out a lot more than usual, and not just on patrols.”

Jason fidgeted with a piece of gear, avoiding Bruce’s piercing gaze. "It’s just… been a good week. I just like going out alone. Sometimes, it’s nice to have something to look forward to."

Bruce’s expression hardened slightly, though he kept his tone even. "Jason, you know you can talk to me about anything. If something’s going on, I need to know. It’s my job to make sure you’re safe."

Jason met Bruce’s gaze briefly before looking away, back to fidgeting with his utility belt. "I’m fine, Bruce. Really. Just… enjoying life a little, that’s all. Enjoying the freedom"

Bruce’s eyes lingered on Jason. He had noticed the changes, the occasional late-night absences that didn’t coincide with their patrols. He understood the need for personal space, especially at Jason’s age but his obvious dismissal and evasiveness was a red flag. Deep down, Bruce knew there was more than Jason was letting on, and even if he wouldn’t say it out loud, Bruce already deduced exactly why. 

"Alright," Bruce said after a moment, though his tone remained serious. "Just remember, being Robin isn’t just about the suit or the thrill. It’s about responsibility and trust. Don’t let anything—" 

Jason cut him off, a touch of defensiveness in his voice. "I know, Bruce. I’m on top of it. Just—give me a little space, okay? I’ve got this."

Bruce studied him for a moment longer before nodding, though his concern remained evident. "If you need anything, you know where to find me."

Jason nodded and gave a light smile. "Thanks, Bruce."

As Bruce turned to leave, Jason’s expression softened slightly, a mix of relief and unresolved tension. Jason knew he was only trying to act like a good father figure, he knew Bruce cared about him and his safety but for now he wanted to keep you separate from his life at home. He wanted that part for himself. You were his own and he didn’t want to share that with Bruce or the rest of the family just yet. 

The early afternoon sunlight cast a warm glow over Gotham, the streets filled with all sorts of people either shopping, meeting up with friends, getting lunch, or just window shopping. Bruce and Jason walked through the upscale shopping district as the sounds of conversations floated all around them, the crowds enjoying the light breeze of the weather and soaking in the sun. Bruce suggested a brief outing to pick up a gift for one of his ‘friends’, a rare but nice moment that allowed both of them a sense of being normal people in society instead of vigilantes. 

Jason trailed slightly behind Bruce as they entered a nice jewelry store, the cases filled with intricate and beautifully designed pieces. Bruce walked around before stopping at a case, observing all of the pieces inside as Jason wandered off to the other side of the store, his attention drawing to a small display that held a collection of emerald jewelry pieces. The display had different handcrafted jewelry from delicate necklaces, dainty earrings, and intricate bracelets.

Jason paused, his eyes drawn to a dainty necklace displayed in the case, the green stone stunning as it reflected under the light. It was a classy design, simple but with a beautiful dark green emerald inside. It was the perfect mix of timeless and personable. The color and elegance drew him in, and before he knew it, he was calling over one of the clerks to help him. 

Bruce had noticed Jason talking to the clerk, his eyes observing as Jason pointed to the necklace in the case and examining it with his own eyes. Jason’s demeanor was different from his usual confident bravado; he seemed almost contemplative, as if weighing a decision of significant importance.

“Is this the necklace?”, the clerk asked as Jason nodded, looking at it with observant eyes. “Excellent choice, you have a very good eye, sir.”

Jason cleared his throat, slightly flustered but held his composure. “I’m also wondering, do you have any earrings that could possibly match this?”.

The clerk nodded, guiding Jason to the case just next to the necklaces as he pointed out a few different pairs. Bruce watched quietly as he picked out the gift he was getting, his curiosity piqued. Jason hadn’t ever bought gifts for anyone, but his choices in the jewelry shop were thoughtful and intentional. He was picking something special, with meaning, it wasn’t just a random purchase. 

After a few moments, Jason picked between four pairs of earrings, selecting the one that would go best with the necklace. The clerk nodded as he wrapped up the items neatly inside small velvet lined boxes before placing them carefully inside the store marked branded bag. Jason walked over to the register, pulling out his wallet and the card Bruce had gotten him that had his monthly allowance on it, quickly paying for the items and thanking the clerk for his help. 

Jason walked over to Bruce, who also had his own bag with jewelry inside, the both of them walking out and continuing their walk through the streets. “Something special for someone?”

Jason tensed, Bruce’s question catching him off guard as he smiled slightly with an airy laugh. “Just a small gift. Thought it might brighten someone’s day.”

“$5,000 is hardly a small gift.”, Bruce chuckled, the small tease going over Jason’s head as he saw his jaw clench and his shoulders tense. He raised an eyebrow at his son, deciding not to press further. He could tell Jason wasn’t ready to share those details, deciding it was better for him to share on his own terms. “It’s thoughtful. I’m sure whoever gets it will appreciate it.”, Bruce offered a genuine smile at Jason. 

“Yeah, I hope so”, Jason nodded, a small smile playing at his lips.

As they left the jewelry store and continued through the shopping district, Bruce couldn’t help but feel a sense of curiosity mingled with a hint of pride. Despite the tension that sometimes hung between them, moments like these reminded him that Jason was growing into his own person, a well raised young man that would eventually take the world by storm. Bruce felt a lot of pride in him, knowing he would soon be someone who valued his morals and family above all. 

The two walked side by side, each one lost in their own thoughts as a comfortable silence fell over the both of them. Jason felt a sense of anticipation, feeling content in his choice of his gift for you that made him feel warm inside, a feeling only he would cherish. Bruce felt a calm and relaxing feeling, the day a reminder of how in the midst of their complex lives, the both of them could still have mundane and normal lives outside of the night. 

~

~

~

The dining room of Wayne Manor was filled with the fresh smell of a well-prepared home cooked meal, thanks to Alfred’s gift for cooking. The food was set up nicely at the table, everything well laid for the family to share their weekly family dinner as tradition. 

Jason was wearing his normal home attire, a pair of dark jeans and an oversized hoodie as he leaned back in his chair, looking at some texts from his classmates from school for the midterm study group he had. Bruce eyed him, clearing his throat before Jason tucked his phone away. 

Bruce was stuck about his no phone at the table rule.

Bruce sat at the head of the table, quietly looking over his meal as the both of them waited for the final member to join them at the table. The atmosphere was quiet and calm, a normal and common aura that Jason had grown used to. The quiet was short lived when he heard his older brother barge through the front door and greet Alfred, making his way to the dining room and placing two hands on Jason’s shoulders. 

“Hey Jay, how’s it going”, he smirked, poking Jason’s cheek as Jason swatted him away. 

“Screw off, Dick.”, Jason pushed his older brother away, rolling his eyes as Dick walked over to greet Bruce before sitting down at the table. 

“So, how’s life as Boy Wonder, been enjoying it? God I hope you’re bringing it justice, can’t have you tarnishing the Robin name”, Dick was as overdramatic as he was charismatic and charming, but Jason looked up to his older brother even if he wouldn’t admit it out loud. 

“Doing just fine. Been doing more for the Robin name than you ever could”, Jason smirked as Bruce smiled at himself. 

“Ooo, you’re playful today. What’s got you in a good mood?”, Dick leaned forward, taking a bite of his food as he raised an eyebrow at Jason. 

“Nothing.”, he said in a neutral tone. 

“Nah, what’s going on?”, Dick continued. “Oh, is it a girl? Alfred told me about how you bought a $5,000 necklace for a mystery person”

“Master Dick, please keep me out of your teasing”, Alfred said as he placed another pitcher of water on the table, replacing the empty one. 

“C’mon, you can’t tell me you haven’t noticed that Jason’s been less grumpy the past few weeks”, Dick smirked, “There’s something going on, c’mon Jay, spill.” 

Jason narrowed his eyes, “Drop it, Dick.”

“You’re the one being all secretive. C’mon what happened to us telling each other everything? Besides, you’re starting to creep me out. You’re never this happy” 

The annoyance radiated off of Jason as he glared at his older brother. He might be the golden boy but he was an annoyance more than anything. 

Bruce finally decided to stop keeping his silence, speaking across the table at his adoptive sons. “Dick, let Jason have his privacy.”

“Ugh, fine”, Dick rolled his eyes, going back to his food but not before getting in his final words. “You owe me details later”, he said as he pointed his fork at Jason who ignored him. As Dick relaxed into his seat, Alfred chimed in regardless of how he just asked to be left out of the conversation. 

“Master Jason’s mood has improved significantly over the past few weeks.”, Alfred said casually, Jason slumping in his seat. “It’s nice to see him engaged and happy for a change.”

Bruce glanced at Jason, before looking over at Alfred, “Indeed. It’s good to see some change around here.”

The rest of the dinner was quiet, only filled with talk about Dick’s new job and how he and Barbara were supposed to go out for dinner in a week. Bruce only added in where the conversation needed it as well as Alfred. Jason ignored the conversation entirely, his mind entirely else where as he tried to focus on finishing dinner and retreating to his room. 

When dinner finished, Jason walked to the back of the house, stepping into the cool air as he looked at the pool that was in the backyard, enjoying the quiet. The sound of the sliding door opening made him turn around, then turn away in annoyance. 

“So, you gonna share what’s got you so happy?”, Dick teased. “Are you trying to keep her a secret?”, Jason looked away as Dick wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “Ah, c’mon. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Back when I was Robin, I had all of the girls after me. It was a bit of a problem honestly.”

“Yeah, but you also couldn’t keep a girlfriend. You’re a dog, Dick.”, Jason muttered. 

“Ah, c’mon. Who is she? Is she cute? What is she like? Well she has to be pretty mature to tolerate someone as broody as you.”, Dick continued as he ruffled Jason’s hair, the annoyance seeping deeper into Jason’s bones. 

“Dick, leave Jason alone.”, Bruce had stepped out into the yard, having a basketball in hand as he walked over to both the boys.

“Hell yeah, 2 v. 1?”, Dick asked with a smirk, and Bruce sent one back.”C’mon Jay, you and me against the old man.”

Jason smirked at his older brother, following behind him as the three of them moved over to the basketball court and continued the evening with a friendly basketball game. The sense of normalcy falling over the family as thoughts of Jason’s improved mood began to slip away into the night, the only focus on the game the three of them played.

~

~

~

One Week Later

The dining room of the manor was quiet, the occasional clink of silverware ringing out through the silence. Bruce sat across from Jason at the table, enjoying the meal Alfred had prepared for the night. Despite having a nice dinner and the ambiance being calm, Jason felt distant, distracted, and his thoughts all over the place. 

Bruce watched him from across the table, noticing Jason’s distracted behavior. “Something on your mind, Jason?”

Jason’s eyes snapped towards Bruce, looking back down at his place with furrowed brows. “Nothing. Just… a lot on my mind recently.”

“Anything you want to talk about?”, Bruce hummed. 

“It’s just… it’s nothing.”

“You know you can talk to me right? You don’t have to keep everything bottled up.”, Bruce said openly, hoping Jason would take his offer to help. 

Jason only sighed, his mind still all over the place and couldn’t think straight. “It’s complicated. I’d rather just not get into it.”, he shifted in his seat. 

“Is it about that girl you’ve been sneaking out to see in the middle of the night?”, Bruce spoke calmly as he raised his fork to his mouth and took a bite of his food. Jason straightened, looking at Bruce from across the table. 

“How did you..”

Bruce raised an eyebrow at him, his gaze steady. “I’m a detective, Jason. Don’t act like I wouldn’t have figured it out eventually.”

Jason’s face flushed slightly, a mix of embarrassment and frustration crossing his features. “Are you going to make me stop seeing her?”

Bruce’s expression changed slightly, though his voice remained firm. “No. As long as it doesn’t affect your performance in the field, I’m not going to interfere. But you know what happens if she gets too involved.”

Jason’s eyes met Bruce’s, “I know. I’ve been careful.”

“You need to keep a balance. If your personal life starts compromising your work, it will become a problem. But I trust you to manage that.”

Jason’s shoulders relaxed a fraction, though his mind was clearly still preoccupied. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”

The dinner continued in silence, Jason’s thoughts still spinning as they led back to you. He was struggling with the choice of telling you about who he was. Would Bruce even let him or would he shut down the idea immediately? That would be something to get into another time but for the time being Jason just wanted nothing more but to ensure that he was careful. 

He’d never forgive himself if you somehow got tangled up in his work in the field. He’d make sure that never happened. 

Even if his life depended on it. 

┆ ┆ ┆ ┆⋆ ┆ ┆ ┆ ┆⋆ ┆ ┆ ┆ ┆⋆ ┆ ┆ ┆ ┆⋆

Your laugh filled the air as Jason continued to tell you about his latest mission with Bruce and how he managed to knock out a bunch of Penguin’s goons when Bruce had cornered them after trying to rob a bank. He watched as the brightness in your eyes met his gaze, making him feel like he was on top of the world. 

“It was great”, he smiled brightly, his cheeks hurting from laughing for the past 15 minutes. “So, what about you? Anything exciting?”

You rolled your eyes as you played with the small ninja star he had let you hold. He’d always showed you the least dangerous weapons in his utility belt, aka those that couldn’t explode while you messed with it. 

“Not really.”, you smiled. “Oh, well maybe this might be interesting.”

He leaned back on his hands, letting his hair fall over his forehead instead of pushing it back. “Okay, shoot.”

“There’s this guy at school who keeps trying to talk to me and I don’t know what his deal is but it’s kinda annoying.”

Jason raised an eyebrow, trying to hold back a smirk. “Annoying how?”

“He’s always trying to get my attention, like he’s constantly hovering around me. He’s nice enough, but it feels like he’s just trying too hard. I don’t get it.”

Jason’s lips curled into a knowing grin as he tried to suppress a chuckle. “Sounds like he’s a bit overzealous.”

You glanced at him, sensing his amusement but not understanding the reason behind it. “Yeah, tell me about it. It’s like he doesn’t get the hint.”

Jason just laughed, letting himself enjoy the naivety you had. “Sometimes people do weird things. Maybe he just wants to be your friend.”

“I don’t need friends.”

“So what does that make me then?”, he moved his head towards you. 

“A pain in my ass”, you smiled at him and Jason moved his hands towards his chest in a stabbing motion as shoved him gently while he laughed. 

“You seem to think its funny when it’s not”

“Just give the guy a chance, maybe he’ll be more than you expect.”, he shrugged nonchalantly. 

“I think I’ll pass. Besides I don’t need anyone else, I have you.”, you said as you hugged your knees to your chest and laid your head on them, watching him as your hair fell over your arm but framed your face perfectly.

The night continued in ease, the both of you catching up after a week of not seeing each other, the smile on Jason’s face never leaving. The irony of the situation wasn’t lost on his: he knew he was the reason for your annoyance but he enjoyed seeing this feisty side of you. When he first saw you in school you were standoffish, closed off, maybe from moving to such an elite school full of people from a different life than you. He knew that feeling of assuming everyone saw him as a nobody, the only thing saving him was the Wayne name. 

He wished it could be as easy for you as it was for him. 

Maybe then it’d be easier to tell you about everything. 

┆ ┆ ┆ ┆⋆ ┆ ┆ ┆ ┆⋆ ┆ ┆ ┆ ┆⋆ ┆ ┆ ┆ ┆⋆

Today was one of the few times Jason and you were able to go out in daylight to enjoy yourselves together. It wasn’t often that he would meet with you in civilian clothing, but for some reason he wanted both of you to go out to the park. It was starting to get warmer and he figured a springtime walk wouldn’t hurt. He pushed his sunglasses up, watching as you stopped to look at everything in the ground. 

The flowers were starting to bloom and the trees started to grow buds that were slowly opening. It was a pretty sight indeed, not to mention the little family of ducks swimming in the lake right at the heart and center of the park. 

“It’s all so pretty don’t you think?”, you turned towards him as he stood there with his hands in his pockets smiling at you. He soaked in the sight of you looking at the flowers and kneeling to watch the small ducklings. 

It wasn’t often the two of you would go out like this together but moments like this were the exact reason he preferred going out than just being confined to the four corners of the roof. “Yeah it is. It’s a nice change for once.”

You looked up at him, your eyes sparkling with joy. “I didn’t realize you liked nature so much. I would’ve guessed you preferred staying perched on that roof.”

He chuckled, something he knew you admired about him. “I do like it, but some days it’s nice to just be in nature and not think about anything else. Disconnect from the city to connect with nature. That kind of thing.”

You stood up, brushing off your pants and walking towards him. “I mean we’re technically still in the city.”, you teased. 

“You get what I mean.”, he laughed as the both of you continued down the nature trail around the lake. He fell into step with you, both of you moving together with ease as you soaked in the rest of the sun and the gentle warmth it brought onto you. 

After a while, you both reached a nearby bench under a massive oak tree, its branches providing a small amount of shade as the both of you sat under it. You had stopped talking and looked down at the grass, Jason staring at you in concern. 

“Hey, you okay?”, he asked softly. 

“Yeah, it’s just… I’ve been thinking a lot.”, you murmured. 

“Thinking about what?”, his brows furrowed as he waited for your response, worried he might’ve done something wrong to make you upset. The last thing he wanted was to make you feel upset. 

“Just, you know a lot about me. You know what I look like, my birthday, the school I go to, the family and it feels like I don’t know anything like that about you.”, you looked up at him with vulnerable eyes. “I feel like it’s a bit unfair”, you let out an airy laugh.

“Y/n, you know I would tell you if I could.”, he answered. “It’s just… it’s complicated because..”, he trailed off as a couple walked by, waiting for them to be out of distance before continuing. “Because of my job.”

“I know, I know and I’m not expecting anything crazy it’s just..”, you trailed off again. “I mean… I wish I could know you.”, you whispered, your hands in your lap as you messed with the end of your sweater. “I wish I could know the real you.”

His heart skipped a beat in his chest, staring at you as he let your words sink in. The very thing he had been contemplating over the past few weeks were the very thing you just said you wanted. Was this the opening he needed to show himself to you?

He smiled weakly, looking at you with a warm gaze even though you couldn’t see it. “I know”, he murmured. It was all he could say. 

He leaned in, your eyes watching him with observant eyes as he grabbed your hand from your lap and stroking it gently. You soaked in his warmth and he could sense the desperation in your soul. The desire to know him, the desire to see his face, to know who he really was. He wanted that too. More than anything. 

He leaned closer towards you, reaching up to push your hair behind your ear as he caressed your cheek and leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a gentle yet emotionally charged kiss. You leaned into his, your hand squeezing his as he deepened the kiss. Your body soaked him in, wanting to feel his presence and him yours. 

After what felt like an eternity, Jason pulled away, touching his forehead with yours as he looked into your eyes. He felt it right then. The answer he’d been looking for the past few weeks. He knew what he wanted. 

He wanted you. 

Wanted to tell you who he was, wanted you to be a part of his life for however long you’d let him be there. He wanted to tell you his real name, wanted to introduce you to Bruce and Dick, wanted to show you how he trained for his missions and tell you how he was the guy from school.

He needed this. 

He needed you. 

The tension in the Batcave was palpable, the argument between Jason and Bruce growing more intense as Jason continued to push for his ask. The both of them stood facing each other, the dim lighting casting shadows over their faces as they stood face to face, both in their respective suits. The argument had been going for what felt like forever, both of them holding firm in their stance. 

“Jason. No.”, Bruce said, his voice filled with a deep seriousness and an overwhelming sense of authority, but it didn’t stop Jason like it normally would have. “You can’t tell her. It’s too dangerous.”

“Bruce, I trust her.”, Jason’s frustration was evident as he continued to push for this. “I don’t want to keep hiding who I am from her, what kind of relationship is that? What kind of person would that make me to keep seeing her and just lie to her about who I am?”

“It puts everyone at risk!”, Bruce stood tall, and even though Jason was a good foot shorter, he pushed his shoulders up, his posture matching Bruce’s as he held his gaze. 

“I won’t keep lying to her.”

Bruce’s face hardened, the weight of his responsibility as both a father and a protector clear in his eyes. “If you tell her who you are, she has to know about Dick and me. That’s putting her at risk—and us. You have to understand the implications.”

“How is this any different than you and Selina? How long did it take before Selina found out who you were?”, Jason used his trump card, his desperation seeping through. 

“That’s different, Jason.”

“How?! You two are basically always flirting and going out and you both know each other’s identities.” Jason felt himself growing frustrated with Bruce. “She knows who you are, you’re always going out with her and you both have been open about your double lives. Why can’t I have the same thing?”

Bruce sighed, seeing the resolve in Jason’s eyes. He knew well how rare it was for Jason to trust someone, it had taken him almost two years to trust Bruce, so him asking to share who he was with his mystery girl wasn’t something to take lightly. The depth of feeling Jason held towards you was clear and Bruce could see it from miles away. If it wasn’t for that fact, Bruce would have strictly shut down Jason’s request. 

“Bruce, please. I’m asking you to trust me on this. She’s the only person I want to share this with. I know she won’t say anything. Please, I can’t keep lying to her,” Jason’s voice wavered slightly, his emotions laid bare.

Bruce looked at him for a long moment, weighing the risks but even in his contemplation he could see Jason’s trust in you. After a moment of tense silence, Bruce spoke in the same firmness but with a hint of resignation. 

“Do you trust her?”

“Yes, I do.”, Jason spit the words out faster than he would’ve liked but he didn’t care. He wanted this more than anything. 

“Alright,” Bruce said, finally giving in. “You can tell her, but under one condition. If anything happens—if she’s put in danger or if you let this affect your duties—you’ll be benched from patrol and training for an entire year. That’s non-negotiable.”

“Fine, yes, deal. Thank you so much.”

Without thinking, and for the first time since he’d been taken in, Jason moved towards Bruce and hugged him. It was simple yet surprising for Bruce. With slowed hands, Bruce returned the hug briefly before Jason pulled back, a slight smile tugging on his lips as he grabbed his robin mask from where it was set on the Batcomputer. 

Jason quietly nodded towards Bruce, turning towards the exit of the cave and heading towards the elevator that led up to the manor. Jason couldn’t help but feel on top of the world, his heart pumping in his chest on how he would tell you. He wanted to do it within the next week, wanted to get it out of the way as soon as possible. 

He wanted you to know him as him. 

Just him. Just as Jason. 

That would be more than enough. 

~

~

~

A little less than a week went by, Jason’s entire world came crashing in. He received a note from a woman claiming to be his mother. Bruce had been there to analyze the note and check its validity, proving itself to be an authorized note. Jason felt himself desperate for answers, why his mother abandoned him, why he was forced to live on the streets for so long. 

“Bruce, I have to go”

“No. It could be a trap.”

“Bruce, if she’s claiming to be my mother, I want to know.” Jason pleaded. He needed answers, he needed that closure from the trauma the streets had caused him. 

Bruce stayed firm in his resolve. “Jason, you aren’t thinking clearly. This could be a trap, there is no reason to believe this could be your actual mother.”

Jason’s eyes grew darker, his face illuminated by the harsh light of the Batcomputer, showcasing the mix of anger and desperation. “Do you know what it’s like, Bruce?”, his voice wavered slightly. “To live with that void of never knowing why your mother left you? Not knowing why you were abandoned? I know you lost your parents because of someone else’s selfishness but wouldn’t you do anything to see them again and not be left alone in this city? Please… Please let me meet her. I need this.”

Bruce’s gaze hardened, his thoughts contemplating. He knew the feeling of the void all too well, it was something he wished could’ve been different for his younger self, and even though Jason had a point in wanting to connect with his mother as the abandoned son, Bruce couldn’t let him go. His protective instinct and intuition couldn’t let him. “If you go without proper planning you could end up in danger. This isn’t just about reconnecting, it’s your safety on the line too. You need to be smart about this.”

Jason’s anger flared. “So what? I should just sit here and do nothing while you make the decision for me? I’m tired of being left in the dark! I need to do this.”

After another long moment of back and forth, Bruce made his final decision, turning to head back to the manor as he left an emotionally overwhelmed and defeated Jason alone in the cave. The glow of the computer screens illuminated his face as he clenched his fists. The cave, usually Jason’s comfort place, felt like a prison. Bruce’s words echoing through the space as he stood still in place. 

His mind raced with the details of the note, replaying every word and the hope it had sparked. The unresolved trauma of his past felt like a heavy weight pressing down on him, and he could almost hear the echoes of his younger self, yearning for answers that had been so cruelly withheld. 

He let out a sigh of defeat, letting his shoulders slump as he went to get out of his uniform, taking off his utility belt as he let himself contemplate his options of where to go from here. He wanted to go but the more logical side of him knew Bruce had a point, yet something inside of him made him think if he could go at it alone. Would it help keep his sanity if he could just meet his estranged mother? 

The thought contemplated in his mind as he continued to undress and change into his night attire. His mind still all over the place but a subtle hint of rebellion lingering inside of him. 

If Bruce wouldn’t let him, he knew he would have to do this on his own. At Least for the sake of his sanity. 

Jason felt his heart pumping in his chest at a record speed, he felt on top of the world at the news he’d tell you. He arrived at the roof of the usual spot the two of you would always meet, calming himself down before walking over to where he could see you looking down at the street.

“(Y/n), I have to tell you something.”, he called out, wrapping his arms around you. He noticed how you had to crane your head up to look at him, the height difference made his heart flutter. He noticed the necklace around your neck, the necklace he got for your 15th birthday that brought out how beautiful your eyes were. He didn’t just choose the emerald stone for you, he picked it out to match his own hues. To secretly know he was with you always. 

“W-what is it?”, he heard the slight worry in your voice, but he smiled at you to help ease your nerves. His heart pounding in his chest, taking your hands before he spoke. 

“I know that we.. we’ve been..seeing each other, and I know you feel the same things that I do.”, the rush of adrenaline causing his heart to beat faster, you’d be the first to know outside the family who he really was. 

The real Jason. 

You’d get to meet him, his family, see into his life as Jason and not as Robin. 

“I want to tell you who I am, beneath the mask, beneath the Robin suit. I want to take it further. I just need to do something else first.” , he felt relief wash over him as the words left his mouth, a burden he hadn’t realized he was carrying was now lifted. He saw you stiffen, your eyes filled with concern and uncertainty. 

“I’ll be gone for a few days, so don’t think I’m abandoning you, okay? But I promise, when I come back, we’ll get a real date. You’ll know me as… me. I promise, okay? Wait for me, okay?”, the words left his lips all too fast, praying that you would wait for him, praying that you would have him and let him have you too. He saw you nod your head and hug him, his arms wrapping tightly around you, the words so close from leaving his lips at that moment. 

He grabbed your face and kissed you and you kissed back. The kiss was tender yet filled with every emotion he had bottled up. Your lips moved against his, feeling the surge of euphoria flow through his body. His heart exploded and he was like the happiest guy alive right then. He would come back, he would tell you his name, he would be yours and everything would be perfect.

He swore on his life he would come back and find you. 

He would tell you the words that were desperate to leave his lips.

He tasted the promise of a future together, and the world seemed to narrow down to just the two of you.

You were the only thing he wanted. 

The stinging coursed through his body, the pain all-consuming. Jason felt every hit, every cracking sound of his bones, all the pain seemed to flood his body almost like every blow was carving itself into his very essence. It left him raw and exposed. He couldn’t find a way out, even with his blurred vision, he couldn’t even see where he was. His bones ached, his ribs burning him from the inside out because of the pain. 

“Which hurts more? A or B? Backhand or forehand?”, the maniacal clown asked out loud, the crowbar making contact with his already broken bones. Jason could feel each of his bones screaming in pain. He silently prayed that Bruce would be here. Silently prayed that he would come save him. 

How had he ended up here? Why hadn’t he heeded Bruce’s warnings? The questions tormented him, swirling in his mind like a storm. Did Bruce even know he was missing? Was there any chance of rescue?

The laughter echoed through the empty warehouse, the nightmarish sound echoed within the walls leaving Jason feeling haunted by the maniac that was beating him. The only thing that could be heard for miles was the Joker’s hysterical laughs. Laughs that seemed to burn themselves into Jason’s memory. Jason tried to muster the strength to speak, his voice coming out as a ragged, barely audible whisper. Joker yanked Jason’s head up by his hair, forcing him to meet his gaze.

“Ah, ah? Speak a little louder lamb chop, I think you might have a collapsed lung”, Jason spit the blood from his mouth into the Joker’s face. Joker’s response was swift and brutal—he slammed Jason down onto the concrete with a sickening thud.

The pain was eating him alive, how could he be so naive? Why didn’t he just listen to Bruce? Where was he? Did Bruce know he was missing? 

When the hits stopped, he heard the door close, the heavy silence fell over the warehouse signaling Joker’s departure. The stiffness settled into his body and he lifted himself from the ground, trying to walk before he collapsed again. His thoughts were focused on getting out, the intensity of the situation starting to settle in. 

His thoughts became a frantic whirl of fear and desperation. He dragged himself toward the door, his hands shaking as he fumbled with the handle. It was stuck, locked from the outside. Panic surged through him, making the pain in his ribs feel even more excruciating. The sense of hopelessness grew with every second that passed.

At that moment, he could only think of you. The nights you had spent together, the countless hours on the roof, the laughter, the warmth of your smile, spending your birthday together—every moment flashed back to him with vivid clarity it was almost unbearable. It all crashed back to him. He never thought that night three days ago would be the last time he’d hold you, the last time he’d feel your lips on his. Your presence forever burned into his memory, a bittersweet reminder of what he was losing.

A ticking noise grew louder, an insistent and chilling sound that filled the warehouse with an air of impending doom. Jason forced himself to look at the countdown timer mounted on the crates along the wall—ten seconds left before the explosives would obliterate the entire structure.

10…

The reality of his situation settled in, a cold, hard fact that there was no escaping the end that was so close.

9…

He knew that it was done.  

The weight of unfulfilled dreams and missed opportunities pressed heavily on him. The simple joys of life with you—late nights, shared moments, future plans—were slipping away, forever lost.

8…

He felt his world crashing in, the reality of never having been able to take you on a real date. 

The awareness of never truly discovering who he was, of never having the chance to share his world with you, was a bitter pill to swallow. The chance to explore new horizons was vanishing.

7…

The reality of never knowing who he was. Never getting to meet his family, never welcoming you into his world, never experiencing new places together or even getting to see each other again. 

The thought of never hearing his real name spoken with affection by you again was a sharp, painful reminder of what he was losing. The intimacy and connection he longed for were slipping through his fingers.

6…

The sorrow of never being able to call you his, of never again feeling the comfort and warmth of your presence, was a deep, hollow ache.

5…

Never getting to feel you near him again. 

4…

Never getting the chance to tell you how much he loved you. 

3…

He closed his eyes and rested his head back, accepting the inevitable. He silently sent a prayer to whatever being out there that existed that you knew how much he loved you, even when he never said it out loud. That you would be okay without him, that you wouldn’t lose hope. 

The weight of his regrets and the finality of his fate pressed down on him, making the seconds feel like an eternity.

He braced himself, his mind filled with memories of you, a final testament to the love and life he wished he could have shared with you.

The explosion was instantaneous. The warehouse was consumed in a blinding flash, a forceful wave that ripped through the structure with deafening intensity. The world shattered into chaos, the ticking stopped, and everything that had been a part of his final moments was obliterated.

In the midst of the destruction, there was a final, eerie silence—a silence that spoke of the end of pain and the conclusion of the torment. It was a silence where his love for you lingered, a final, unspoken testament to what had been and what might have been.

A/N:

I had been wanting to do an entire chapter from Jason's POV for a minute and had the flashback chapter in my mind for a while. I really hope you guys enjoyed this! Also just letting you know that new upload days will be Sundays! This just works easier for my schedule since I draft everything throughout the week and spend weekends editing so Sundays work best for me!

Again, thank you guys for all the love and support on this series, I think we only have 5 or 6 chapters left before the end?! It went by SO fast!

And also thank you for the love and support on my Sukuna x Reader story: Love of My Life! It's been doing so well and it makes me so happy that it's been received well.

Thank you guys again and see you next week! xx.

[a-d-nox]

web of wyrd: what the public sees between a couple

the numbers we are focusing on today are the left three numbers - this is called the leading numbers or public persona in the web. these numbers are about how a connection looks to outsiders. what is actually seen by the world can be very different from reality, so this is like the chemistry/potential seen between two people.

so let's get to it:

4 - the emperor

this could be a very public announcement of love and adoration. this connection is one where being bold and passionate makes others know that you have interest in one another. it is often apparent that these two like each other because they are passionate - these two could be a PDA couple. at the end of the day it is obvious that they will do anything to make each other happy and protect each other from other people's scrutiny.

when the energy is imbalanced, it might seem like one person is doing all the pursuing or they might look like they want to ask the other person out but aren't going to. it could look like a very public rejection or like two people who hate each other (there can only be one person left standing). it could also look like a battle between each other - someone is very defensive or very offensive (this is an immature connection where each person always feels the need to be right).

9 - hermit

this connection might be good for parallel play - you both are comfortable doing your own thing but with one another. for example, this reminds me of the friends/couples who sit together on the couch - one is playing a video game and the other is reading. no one is bothered by the lack of engagement with one another; they are just happy to be together. alternatively, this could be a long distance relationship where you rarely see one another.

when the energy is out of balance, this couple might be staying together because they fear being alone long term. that fear of being alone might center around not wanting to confront internal issues. the connection might also cause you to isolate from others for a long time - you might find yourself withdrawing from the activities you used to do before this connection. it might be for the best if you disconnect from this person and take time for yourself.

22 - the fool

this connection is opening you up to a bunch of new possibilities in life. you can trust that the connection worth taking a risk for when it surrounded by the right numbers and is in a positive state. it is in a positive state when you both know that you are willing to try something new without worrying what the outcome will be. follow your intuition and be willing to expand your consciousnesses - all will be well then. this could be a reconnection with a person who was in your life, that you didn't see coming so take a chance or be open to starting again in an existing relationship.

in an imbalanced connection, you'll find that it is one of those "right person, wrong time" types of vibes. but if it were the right person, there would be no wrong time. they might constantly challenge you - you might come to cling to them and fear the dynamic changing between you both. they might also try to push you out of your comfort zone - you should never feel coerced in a relationship to do what makes you uncomfortable.

that's all for today. like what you read? leave a tip and state what post it is for! please use my "suggest a post topic". button if you want to see a specific pac/pile next! if you'd like my input on how i read a specific card or what i like to ask my deck, feel free to use the ask button for that as well.

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© a-d-nox 2024 all rights reserved

[etirabys]

alright, I'm going to make a post detailing things I liked about my wedding because I think it will help my long term psychological health about it or something

the flowers were lovely, I liked the palette we gave our florist and she did a nice job. I've been fingering one of the leftover roses on and off for a day and slowly shredding it

when all the flowers dry up I think I'll try making rosewater

we chose alcohol we liked, and we have a lot left over, meaning we're set to host spontaneous parties and such

my boyfriend told me that while my hair dress and makeup made me look quite unlike my usual self, I looked very bridenappable

we set aside 5-10m for our photographer to take photos of us with our other partners, which was nice

my parents were happy!!! oh my gosh they were so happy. I managed to not ruin it for them out of revenge for making me do it which was a feat of heroism and also benzodiazepines. I have ancient brain grooves of punishing them for making me do hateful things by trying to make them just as miserable, and the temptation was immense, but I largely did not do it and I have a bunch of photos of them smiling and dancing

I don't have photos from our main photographer yet but @drethelin sent me some of his and they look great. I didn't expect to be this into the photos but I'm so psyched to have the rest. Will probably post some when I get them

the fancy cake we got had fondant that I liked. I had gotten small heart shaped samples of the fondant before and I had fully expected to enjoy eating a cake covered in it. And I did. It was like marshmallow with more conviction.

my two favorite college friends crashed at my place over the weekend and it was great catching up with them. they got along really well with my other friends and partners. just going on and on about French zoning policy

I look eh in hanbok but the giant looks beautiful in hanbok. He prefers hanbok to a Western suit and frankly looks more natural that way.

the DJ did a great job! Originally we planned for "maybe a little bit of dancing" (I looked at the guest spreadsheet and guessed maybe 7 people would be willing to dance, tops) but we got like 20 people in on it.

the afterparty I put together last minute was the most enjoyable part of the day. I was pretty dead (I'd gotten up at 7:30am to get hair done) but it was nice to be my normal self, not constrained by relatives. I occasionally went around rooms, noted what conversations were going on, and matchmade by fetching someone who I thought would especially enjoy that conversation

the giant and I didn't have the usual "we'll be able to call ourselves husband and wife" motivation since we got legally married years ago, so we invented "wife plus" and "platinum husband" to describe some imaginary next level of marriage we are on.

I was forced to learn how to iron to get the hanbok presentable, and now I feel like a more powerful human being

my relatives gave me money as a wedding gift. but my dad drummed it into me that they expect it back when their kids get married and I go to their weddings. and that it would be quite inappropriate if I failed to do this. I ventured tentatively that this would all be simplified if we simply did not give each other money gifts and he was so offended at my attack on tradition & decency that I hastily backtracked. but in theory I still win because of inflation? because it's an interest free loan. also their kids might not get married. or invite me

[d00dlebeez]

Intro Post! (Please Read)

Hi! d00dlebeez here, this is my intro post ig? (I'm trying man)

Names to call me:

-Beez (yes)

-Ollie (yes)

-Olive (perfer Ollie but this is okie)

-Oliver (ye)

-Extra Virgin Olive Oil (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE THIS IS FOR A BIT 😭)

-Bee (sure)

-Buzzy Boy (okie)

-DoodleBeez (sure)

-Doodle (uhh, okie why not)

-DB (ok)

-Any random nickname (reserved for my partners and/or friends)

-Dumb ass, stupid, any other term like that (in a joking way ok?)

-Any Slurs (uhhhhhhhhhhh only if you know me and are doing it as a joke?)

-Legal/Dead Name (Fuck no)

Pronouns: he/they, Please use more masc pronouns if you want to refer to me

Birthday: November 30th

DNI List:

Basic things (Homophobia, Transphobia, Sexism, Racism, Pedophilia, just being weird or creepy or hateful or rude)

Nsfw (I'm a minor, if you are a nsfw account please don't follow or interact)

People who know me irl (doesn't count if we are friends)

💖🎀 If you don't follow these rules, I will block you 🎀💖

Time zone: CST

Interests:

Percy Jackson

Heroes of Olympus

Ride the Cyclone

Newsies

The Outsiders

Night at the Museum

Arcane

The Owl House

Amphibia

Tangled the Series

Varian and the 7 Kingdoms (yes I know it's not a real show, let me be delusional and give my nerdy alchemist son a boyfriend)

Epic the Musical

The Guy That Doesn't Like Musicals

Nerdy Prudes Must Die

Black Friday

Scott Pilgrim

Helluva Boss

Hazbin Hotel

random kids cartoons (mainly Bluey, don't judge me, it's good trust)

DnD

witchcraft

drawing

space

Relationship:

I am in a qpr with the lovely @frayna-of-the-hollow <3

Random Stuff ig?:

I tend to stutter irl when I'm nervous, so sorry abt that, I get really anxious at stuff, (when people are mad at me or something), I tend to say I love you and be affectionate towards my friends (if that makes you uncomfortable, please tell me), I personally use dude, man, bro, ext as gender neutral so if you have a problem with that please tell me

Also, I'm cabin 7 yall, my dads the freaking sun Broski's 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 ☀☀☀☀☀ 🧡 🧡 🧡 🧡 🧡 (according to the official test)

Also, there will be swearing on my blog

And, ya boys got autism and probably adhd

user tags :3 (also, I didn't make any of these)

(freddy fazbears made by @homobrainjuice)

My ao3 and wattpad accounts

(mostly crack-fics, might write more detailed stories idk)

Wattpad: d00dlebeez

ao3: Sunny_Apollo_Kid

Also, as I'm writing this my dog has sat on my computer at least 4 times

WILL BE UPDATING!

[lucienarcheron]

Boner for You [Elorcan]

Prompt: Fake Dating College AU where Lorcan just wants Elide to be his girlfriend for a party and Elide wants to pretend she isn’t thrilled about it. |

Genre: Fluff/Humor Rating: SFW despite the title lol. Recommended listen: Born by OneRepublic Author’s note: Inspired by this gifset here. I saw it and it screamed Elorcan. I just had to find a way to fit it in and what better way than fake dating?

She stood scowling, rooted in her spot.

If it was up to her, she would stay rooted to this spot forever rather than step into that frat party and have to embarrass herself for him.

Elide’s eyes shifted up to glare at Lorcan who was glancing down at her with a smirk.

“Scared?”

“No.” she scoffed. “More annoyed with myself for letting you put me in this position.”

He grinned at her and brought an arm around her shoulder, pulling her closely into him. “Now now, you agreed on your own. All I did was ask.”

“Desperately.” Elide gritted out and his grin widened.  “You asked very desperately.”

“And then you agreed to come to this party with me.” He said, leaning down to meet her gaze. His smile was wicked and Elide wanted to reach up and choke him. “You agreed to come with me to the party and be my girlfriend so that my ex would leave me alone.”

“Pretend. I am pretending to be your girlfriend.” Elide emphasized then pointed at him with narrowed eyes. “And what if your crazy ex-girlfriend decides to turn her crazy on me, hm? What happens then?”

“Don’t worry. I’ll protect you, kitten.” he replied, his voice low and he playfully tried to bite her finger which she retracted immediately with a growl.

“I’m not your kitten. Don’t call me that.”

“I didn’t say my kitten but I see how you like the possessiveness of the term.” he replied, grinning at her and she scowled again. “I’ll make sure to call you that in front of people so that they know what my girlfriend likes.”

“I’m going to punch you in the face if you don’t stop.”

“You can’t reach my face, kitten.”

Elide pulled away from his arm and used every bit of strength she had to yank him down by the front of his shirt until they were inches apart.

“Yes, I can.” she replied, glaring. “Don’t push your damn luck, Salvaterre.”

“Feisty. I’m hella turned on right now.” he said, grinning obnoxiously and Elide nearly did punched him right then and there.

“Lorcan.”

“Elide.”

“I hate you.”

“Yet, you’re still here.”

Elide groaned and shot him another glare then pointedly gestured towards the door. “Let’s get this over with, you giant barbarian.”

It had been so stupid of her. So stupid.

Did she know that this would happen when she agreed to tutor his stupid ass in their Calculus course? No.

Did she think she would start crushing on this giant jock with a handsome face and really nice body while she was tutoring him? Definitely not.

Despite how annoying he was now, Lorcan was actually a good student. So when he spent the majority of their last lesson completely zoned out, she snapped at him until he confessed. He had caught her completely off guard when he asked her to go with him to a party that Fenrys was hosting. She had gotten invited alongside all her friends but hadn’t planned on going — she had even forgotten about the whole thing, until he asked.

It had taken every ounce of willpower in her not to blush and not to get too happy about it.

-Two days ago-

“Why?”

“Why what?” he had asked her confused.

“Why are you asking me?”

He shrugged. “I need someone to play my girlfriend for the party.”

“And you thought of me?”

“Yeah.” he had replied. “You’re smart and hot. Plus you're tiny and it makes me look bigger than I already am.”

Her expression flattened. “So you want me to go with you because I help inflate your ego?”

“Yup.” he smirked.

She squinted at him then said, “No.”

“Come on,” he insisted, attempting a pleading look. “I know your friends are going and it’ll be fun.”

“You think I want my friends to see me pretending to be your girlfriend?”

“They’d love it.”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“What if I told you it was because my ex was there and I really don’t want to deal with her?” he asked and Elide pursed her lips at what seemed to be a genuine expression. As if Lorcan Salvaterre couldn’t handle his ex-girlfriend.

“So you want me to play buffer between you and your ex?”

“No. When she sees you with me, she won’t approach at all.”

Elide snorted. “I doubt Maeve will be intimidated by me at all, if that’s what you’re hoping for.”

“Oh, Maeve will never see you coming. She’ll be too shocked.” Lorcan replied with a small smile.

“Shocked that you’ll stoop low enough to date a girl like me?” she asked, glowering at him.

“Shocked that a beautiful, smart girl like you would even look at a guy like me.” he corrected with a grin and Elide had wanted to punch herself for blushing.

“Well...there’s so much of you, you’re not exactly hard to miss.” she muttered, intensely gazing at her textbook. “Giant beefcake.”

Lorcan burst out laughing at that and Elide shot him a dirty look.

“If you haven’t already put that as my name on your contact list, please change it to that.” he said after it took him a few minutes to calm himself in which Elide thought of multiple ways to stab him to death with her pencil.

“I already have you down as ‘Annoying asshole’. I think it suits you better.” she huffed and he smirked at her.

“Fair enough.” he had replied, leaning closer to her. “So will you go with me? I’d be honored to have you as my pretend girlfriend.”

After a few moments of silence, she had finally agreed, on the condition that no intimate gestures would take place.

He laughed for another ten minutes at that and then Elide almost really did stab him with her pencil.

~

Currently, Elide wished she had stabbed him just to avoid stepping into this jungle.

Music was blaring, people were drunk all over the place, not to mention all over each other. Elide grimaced slightly. Lorcan’s gaze fell on her expression and he smirked before turning back to face the hallway, maneuvering them through the bodies.

“So which room do you want to start in first?”

“We will not be going into any rooms at all.” she snarled. “Open spaces only.”

Lorcan turned suddenly, causing Elide to crash into him. She staggered for a moment but Lorcan’s arm easily came around her waist, holding her tight against his chest. “Why? You’ve been in a room alone with me before, Elide.”

“That was the library. We’re never really alone in there.” she said, her arms crossed over her chest, glaring at him with flushed cheeks. “I already told you no funny business!”

Lorcan laughed and brought his face down to the crook of her neck, nuzzling his nose there before moving to her ear and speaking quietly, “Trust me, Elide. Business between us would be anything but funny.”

Her whole body heated at his words as he pulled away with another one of his wicked smiles and Elide let out a breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding.

“You giant animal.” she hissed and he snickered.

“You know kitten, you keep mentioning how much of a giant I am.” he purred. “I’m starting to think you’re hella attracted to how much of me there is. You like that I dwarf you, don’t you?”

Elide could almost feel the steam coming out of her ears as she glared at him but he only laughed and winked at her.

She wanted to run at him and pound his face in. Elide was well aware he was making fun of her and yeah she was attracted to him because he was really handsome. And tall. And beefy. She did like that he dwarfed her. In her low moments, she often wondered what it would be like to actually have his giant body on hers.

Despite how annoying he was, she had to admit, he had charmed her in one way or another. The time they spent together working on calculus was ridiculous and he infuriated her to no end. But then he also brought her a cup of coffee and a snack for every tutoring session. He pissed her off but he made her laugh too. Lorcan was nice to her, even when he was being annoying.

Sighing, she followed him. Elide would play his girlfriend. Maybe she’d enjoy it. In fact, maybe she’d be the one to surprise him. With a determined expression on her face, she followed where Lorcan was now heading towards his friends.

What Elide didn’t know was that Lorcan was giddy as hell on the inside. He had taken a risk asking her that day but he’ll be damned if he didn’t at least try with her. This wasn’t about Maeve at all. That bitch wasn’t even at the party but Lorcan was willing to use her as an excuse if only to get Elide to come with him. Tutoring had been the first excuse so he could get her number. He was crushing on this tiny girl so badly, it made Lorcan want to dig a hole and die in it. She was too good for him. Way too pure. But he saw the way she looked at him sometimes. And he saw the way she blushed at the things he said and that had given him hope. Also, it gave his imagination a lot to work with.

“Elide! You CAME!” Fenrys half screamed, already drunk. He came and threw himself on her and Elide yelped at his weight.

“Hi, Fenrys.” she choked out and Lorcan quickly yanked his giggling friend off Elide.

“Don’t crush my girlfriend. I haven’t tortured her enough yet.”

Elide shot him a glare and Fenrys let out a loud gasp.

“YOU GUYS ARE DATING?”

“Yup.” Lorcan replied, grinning obnoxiously at Elide, the glare still in his direction.

“Nope.”  She countered and Lorcan raised a brow.

“SINCE WHEN? UGH FINALLY LORCAN.” Fenrys continued, leaning against the wall for support and it was Elide’s turn to raise a brow.

“Finally?” Elide asked and Lorcan smirked.

“Don’t worry about it, kitten.”

Elide narrowed her eyes then broke out into a devilish smile. She leaned closer into Lorcan, bringing an arm around his waist. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’ve been pining over me all this time.” she said and it was Lorcan’s turn to narrow his eyes at her. “If I didn’t know you were truly clueless at calculus, I’d think it was an excuse to spend time with me...babe.”

Lorcan blinked and prayed his body wouldn’t betray him because Elide was touching him all on her own and he felt that death was near. Her delicate hands were on his body and he felt both blessed and cursed. Fenrys giggled drunkenly.

“SHE CALLED YOU BABE. AW SHIT. YOU’RE IN DEEP LORCAN.”

“Is he now?” Elide asked, looking over at Fenrys. “Do tell.”

“Shut up, Fenrys.”  Lorcan snarled softly and Elide’s mischievous grin returned.

“Oh please, Fenrys, tell me.”

“PFFT, HE’S HAD A BONER FOR YOU FOR LIKE — MONTHS NOW.”

“Does he now?” Elide asked sweetly, lifting her eyes to meet Lorcan’s, pulling away from him and he scowled at her.

“YEAH. LIKE — HE NEVER SHUTS UP ABOUT YOU. HE ALWAYS STARES AT YOU LIKE A CREEP.”

Fenrys clearly wanted to die today. Lorcan’s scowl deepened but it was mixed with a slight panic and he bopped his friend on the side of his head causing Fenrys to yelp in return. He wanted to tell Elide he liked her. But not like this and certainly not through Fenrys.

“He’s drunk. Don’t flatter yourself and believe him.” Lorcan muttered to her, attempting the bravado he had when they first came in.

Elide blinked, her lips forming a small pout and she saw his eyes flash for a moment. “Well, geez, relax beefy.” she said quietly. “I already know you wouldn’t stoop for a girl like me. You’re the one who insisted I come with you.”

“That’s not what I meant.” he quickly amended and surprise colored Elide’s face at the red staining his cheeks. “I just — don’t listen to Fenrys — he’s being stupid —”

Elide waved a hand and cut him off, trying not to let the way her heart dropped at his words show in her expression. “Don’t worry about it. You should go get your girlfriend a drink.” she said, looking anywhere but him. “I’m going to need several if I have to keep pretending to like you.”

She could’ve swore hurt, then regret, flashed in his eyes before he reluctantly left her side to find the drinks. Elide watched him as he left and let out a sigh then her eyes scanned the room for any of her other friends.

“You know — hiccup — he really does like you.” Fenrys said, still rubbing the spot where Lorcan hit him. Elide turned to him with a raised brow.

“Does he now?”

Fenrys nodded then winced, rubbing his head again. “He just has a s-shitty way of showing it.” he slurred softly. “Maeve was a manipulative b-bitch. She totally — hiccup — fucked him up.”

Elide’s eyebrows furrowed and a small frown came on her face. Maybe Fenrys was right but that was certainly too much to hope for. Sure, he flirted with her nonstop and she had been attracted to him but Elide wasn’t really experienced and he most certainly was and —

“You’re overthinking it, t-tiny one.” Fenrys said with a drunk chuckle. “I can see it on your pretty face.”

Elide rolled her eyes but her cheeks heated nonetheless. “You’re drunk. You don’t even know what you’re saying right now.”

“Listen, I’m drunk cupid.” he said with a hiccup. “You got a b-boner for him like he has one for you. Just DO IT.”

Elide winced as he yelled the last two words, the blush deepening on her face before she waved Fenrys off. “Stop it. If he comes back just tell him I went to find the girls.”

“When you guys bone, I w-want a gift in exchange for this encouragement!” he called out after her and she flipped him off, causing him to laugh.

Elide’s eyes took in the mess of the room around her. People making out, people dancing, people laughing and drinking. She really wasn’t big on parties so she only came from time to time and each time, she was sure it would be her last.

“Well, it certainly isn’t a Fenrys party unless he’s getting flipped off by multiple people.” Aelin’s voice came from behind her and she turned with a wide grin to find her close friend.

“There you are! I was just starting to look for you and the girls!” Elide said, hugging her. “Where are they?”

“Manon and Dorian ran off doing things I don’t want to think about and Lysandra is kicking Aedion’s ass at beer pong.” Aelin replied with a laugh and Elide grinned.

“What about you and Rowan? I’m surprised you’re not all over each other at the moment.” she teased and Aelin gave her a smirk.

“We break up our intense make-outs and inappropriate touching into sessions so we don’t miss the party. You missed the first two times.” she replied with a nonchalance shrug and Elide burst out laughing.

“I’ll try to avoid any further sessions, thanks.” Elide said with an eye roll, her eyes scanning the room again, and fell on a current arm wrestling match going on between Rowan and Gavriel. Her eyes fell on the hulking figure of Lorcan intensely cheering the two on, the drink he was supposed to be getting her still in his hands.

“Forget about me...what about you?” Aelin asked and her tone made Elide meet her gaze. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

“What do you mean?”

Elide knew what she meant. Her cheeks heating on their own indicated she knew exactly what Aelin was asking and the way Aelin’s smirked at her made Elide want to run from this stupid party.

“You walking in with Lorcan? Lorcan having his hands all over you when you first came in? His face buried in your neck? You having your hands all over him moments ago? Fenrys screaming something about boners and for you two to just do it?” Aelin rattled off and Elide groaned. “I mean, Elide, when were you going to tell me you guys were boning? Everyone has been taking bets on how long it’ll take for the two of you to go for it.”

Elide’s expression turned to horror and Aelin started laughing hysterically. “I-It’s not like that!” Elide quickly explained, her face burning. “I — we — it’s not like that! I’m just pretending to be his girlfriend! I’m doing him a favor!”

“Elide, Elide, Elide.” Aelin tutted, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “I may dislike Lorcan because he’s an annoying pig, but the heart wants what it wants. I will support you. And cut his balls off if he does anything stupid.”

Elide was about to protest again but Aelin pulled away to give her a look and she let her eyes wander back to where Lorcan was.  As if feeling her gaze, his eyes flickered to hers and Elide tried not to let his expression unnerve her. She braced herself as he started walking towards her and slowly handed her a drink.

“Sorry. I got distracted.” he said quietly and Elide took the drink, their fingers brushing as they had many times during their tutoring sessions. She curled a loose strand of hair behind her ear and gave him a thin smile.

“It’s fine. You guys look like you’re having fun.”

“Yeah.” he replied and his free hand came up to rub on the back of his neck. He shot Aelin a look before looking back at Elide and leaned closer to her. “I’m sorry. About earlier too. I didn’t mean what I said.”

She raised a brow at him. Lorcan’s expression was that of a scolded child. She almost laughed.

“It’s fine.” she repeated. “I get it. Fenrys riles up everyone.”

Lorcan chuckled then his expression turned serious again as if weighing his next words carefully. His eyes flashed to Aelin again but Aelin only crossed her arms, rooted to her spot and watched earnestly. Lorcan scowled and Elide bit back a smile then brought a hand to his chin, bringing his attention back to hers.

“What’s wrong?” she asked and Lorcan’s jaw clenched when she pulled her hand away. Elide had no idea what was going on in his mind but his eyes gave away to the hurricane which were his emotions. He cleared his throat and took a step back, taking the drink he had handed her moments ago then finished the entire cup in one go.

“I just wanted to say…” he began, then licked his lips. “Fenrys wasn’t wrong. He’s...he’s right.”

Elide blinked, looking between her empty hand and his earnest face. “W-what?”

“He’s right. I do. You know.” he said and Elide saw color heat his cheeks as he waved his hand, looking anywhere but at her. “Have a boner for you or whatever.”

Her eyebrows shot up as Aelin snorted behind her but the two ignored her.

“What I meant — I mean — that isn’t how —” Lorcan growled then stopped himself, crushing the empty plastic cup in his hand. He cleared his throat and then locked eyes with her. “I like you. I’ve liked you for a while. It doesn’t mean you have to do anything about it. I’m just — I’m being upfront with you.”

Elide stared at him. She heard the words he was saying but she wasn’t sure she could comprehend it. Lorcan watched her expression of shock and swallowed.

“So uh. You don’t have to pretend to be my girlfriend anymore. Maeve was just an excuse for me to ask you to the party.” he said and gave her an embarrassed smile. “I uh...I’m just going to go. Have fun with the girls.”

Elide blinked again and watched him go. Her body lurched forward after him but then she paused, turning to Aelin with a dumbfounded expression.

“Did he just —?”

“Yup.”

“Does he really —?”

“Yup.”

Elide’s whole body flushed and Aelin burst into giggles.

“I can’t believe he actually likes me.” she mumbled and Aelin squinted at her.

“Why wouldn’t he? You’re amazing, El.”

Elide shook her head. “I just...never thought I was his type.”

“You are very much his type.” Aelin confirmed and Elide looked at her curiously. “He’s whined to Rowan about you before when he doesn’t think I’m around. Jokes on him, Rowan tells me everything anyways.”

Elide’s cheeks flushed and she bit her lip. “So...so this is real? He isn’t...playing a game or anything?”

Aelin shook her head with a smile. “Definitely not. He knows you’re the real deal.” she said and Elide’s eyes flickered back to where Lorcan had returned to an even more intense arm wrestling match than before. He was seated in the place of Rowan, giving his opponent a menacing look as they got ready to go.

Elide watched him. She watched the curve of his body as he sat, barely putting in any effort to knock his opponent down. The corner of her lip went up when he started sniggering at the poor fellow clenching his arm and at the two who took his place. Idiots. She thought. He was a giant beast, none of them would actually be able to beat him.

“Jeez, Elide. Get a damn room.” Aelin said with a snort. Elide shot her a look.

“That’s rich coming from you.”

Aelin grinned. “Maybe. But at least I’m usually in his lap when I stare at Rowan like that.” she said then gently pushed Elide. “You should probably move along if you would like the same fate.”

“You think he’s annoying.” she said incredulously.

“Yes, he is and I would love to stab him if pulls anything.” Aelin said and then shrugged. “But he's not a total loser. What can I say? I’m a sucker for love.”

Elide blushed then bit her lip. He had been upfront with her. Maybe it was time she returned the favor.

Taking one last look at Aelin, Elide moved. She weaved her way through the bodies, her eyes locked on Lorcan and his bulging muscles that easily knocked over the two opponents across from him. She watched him laugh at his success but the laugh quickly died in his throat when Elide slid into the seat across from him.

She heard the murmur of confusion that her move had caused but her eyes were locked on the male across from her as he gazed at her with a raised brow.

Elide rested her elbow on the table and held her hand up, in position for the silly arm wrestling game he’d been playing. She gestured with her chin to his arm and with a tilt of his head, he slowly reached out to clasp his palm in hers.

“What are you doing?”

“Did you mean what you said?” she asked quietly, her heart racing at their linked palms. She really did like how his hand completely enveloped hers.

Lorcan held her gaze and she saw the sincerity in them when he answered. “Yes.”

“You have a boner for me then?” she asked with a small smile and his lips twitched.

“I do. A big boner.” he replied, a grin spreading on his face now. “Both emotionally and physically.”

“That’s good.” she said and leaned her body across the table, planting a quick kiss on his lips. His eyes widened in surprise and Elide took that moment to bring his arm down, giving her a cheater’s win in the arm wrestling match. “Because I have a boner for you too.”

At that moment, with him gaping at her stupidly, it felt like the rest of that room had vanished. It was just the two of them and a thrill rushed through her body. Lorcan stared at her for a few seconds before his head leaned back and he barked out a loud laugh.

Cheeks burning, Elide pulled back with a grin of her own.

“You owe me a date, Salvaterre. I expect you to deliver.”

He leaned back in his chair and gave her a look that made heat flood low in her belly. Oh, how she hated him.

“I owe you several dates and I plan to deliver on every single one of them.” he replied smoothly.

“Don’t expect me to go any easier on you during our tutoring though. I’m a dedicated instructor.” she said and leaned against the table, crossing her arms over her chest. His eyes lingered there a little too long before meeting her gaze and leaning forward against the table as well.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from my girlfriend.”

“Actual girlfriend now, huh?”

“Mm. This plays into so many of my fantasies.”

“Does it now?”

“I’ve been a very bad student, kitten.”

“I honestly cannot stand you.” she replied incredulously, but the knowing grin he gave her had her toes curling and cheeks burning again. He held his palm open to her.

“Wanna get out of here?” he asked quietly and she slipped her hand into his. She really liked how much he dwarfed her.

“I most definitely do.”

[yuurei20]

Cater Info Compilation part 8: Childhood

There are occasional hints throughout the game that, while Cater is from the Shaftlands, his family moved often when he was a child (he is the only main cast member in Heartslabyul who is not from the Queendom of Roses).

We get the full story during Halloween, along with the reason why Cater is so attached to Magicam.

At first we see Cater dealing with NRC’s newfound Magicam fame. While experiencing “a major bump in followers”, Cater explains, “my notifications are blowing up hard with replies and DMs from old IRL acquaintances. And when I say ‘old’ I mean, like, elementary school old."

One particular acquaintance seems especially persistent, even going so far as to call Cater directly, though he refuses to answer.

While discussing the situation Lilia receives a phone call from Sebek and answers immediately, interrupting the conversation, to Cater’s surprise.

(While helping Lilia handle Malleus’ meltdown, triggered by the Magicam Monsters, Cater explains “It’s not as if these people hate Malleus. Which isn’t to say that they like him, either. It’s ultimately about chasing a trend. Just like my old acquaintances.” The trend they’re chasing being Cater himself.)

Cater’s plan to distract the Magicam Monsters works and he witnesses Lilia reminding Malleus “We may not be related by blood, but we ARE family”.

Cater silently reflects, “Lilia’s developed cherished relationships while living in the same place his whole life. There’s no way he could ever understand how helpless I feel.”

Cater is interrupted by a phone call from Trey that he answers immediately.

The vignette ends with Cater saying “Like always, we’ll all probably go our separate ways in four years.”, but it seems that four years is actually a long time to be in the same location, for Cater.

Cater explains that his dad works for a bank and his entire family would relocate whenever he was transferred to a new location, approximately once every two years.

Cater explains, “But for all the people I met, one thing never changed. I would always leave, and they would always stay. That’s why I always tried to be on good terms with everyone, rather than forge strong bonds with a chosen few. Like a circus performer who has a grand old time with people from around the world, and then packs up and moves on. In that sense, Magicam’s been seriously great because I can get messages from people I knew at school three years ago. I can have all the casual connections I can handle. And that’s just my speed, right?”

Kalim insists that distance is no reason to keep people at arm’s length and offers Cater the use of his flying carpet to visit his Magicam friends, while Lilia observes, “In deciding not to get too close to any one person, you may be the wisest one here, Cater.”

(During Wish Upon a Star we learn that Trey and Cater were roommates for the two years and we get a cryptic line from Trey: “You’d think he’d be open to sharing one of his actual wishes by now. Then again he is…just not with me.”)

(There is a fan theory that this ties back into Cater’s decision to not get too close to anyone as he is closer to Trey than he has ever been to anyone else and wants a buffer zone of untold secrets so as not to get any closer before they graduate and go their separate ways.)

[acourtofthought]

I was wondering if you could clear something up for me, since you seem to know more about this. After ACOFAS was Sarah contracted for 3 more books and a novella, or two books and a novella? Since it seems likely that we’ll be getting Az’s story next. I would hate to read about Elain’s journey in a novella. Like I need a fully book for her journey.

When Sarah was signed on for the spin-offs she was contracted for 3 novels and 2 novellas. We've already had 1 of those novels and 1 novella so we're now left with 2 more full length books and 1 novella. Not to mention she signed on for an additional three books (which I believe is a new series).

I actually don't see Az's story being next because Az isn't really connected to the plots of SF which is where we left off in the ACOTAR series. And Bloomsbury has on their website that you can read the different series in any order but that CC would possibly be more enjoyable if you read ACOTAR first and that means the events of HOFAS aren't completely necessary in order to better understand the next ACOTAR book (otherwise they would tell us to read the CC series before ACOTAR). Not to mention there's nothing actually threatening their world at the end of HOFAS which means the only true concerns we have in the land of Prythian at this point in time are Koschei, Beron, Koschei, and getting the treaty signed by those on the continent. Things Az / Gwyn are not really connected too. Nesta was left the Starsword but that's not really a huge problem for them to solve in terms of a looming war, a war they're trying to prevent. The Dusk Court, if that's going to eventually be a story, isn't a major concern threatening the safety of their world at this point in time and right now it doesn't seem to have anything to do with Koschei, Spring, Beron or the continent. Not to mention Gwynriel isn't actually a thing just yet. We've got definite hints but there's no story to resolve in terms of their feelings for one another right now.

But I digress.

As far as Elain's story, she's actually the only character who Sarah confirmed is getting a book. For many years Sarah spoke of knowing who was getting the first two books but was leaving the third open and that was after she said she knew as soon as the sisters came back on page in ACOMAF she wanted to write books for them one day. After SF she said she was excited to write Az's journey but not specifically that he would get a book whereas she was asked point blank if Elain would be getting one (in the Live Talks LA with Eva Chen) to which she said yes. In a special edition of ACOFAS she also said that while she was pregnant with her first son she was doing a lot of gardening and everything she did during that time was research for Elain's book (which was years before she ever mentioned being excited to write Az's journey).

So I don't think there's any worry that Elain won't get her own book. Not only because the author confirmed she will be getting one but also because she has way more to explore right now than any character outside of Lucien. We know she has powers that need to be trained and her mating bond with Lucien needs addressing but we also need to finally hear her thoughts on the loss of her father, having stabbed the King, what her experience was like being put into the Cauldron, her finding where she belongs and her core group of people because right now I'm not getting the vibe that she's where she's meant to be or has found friends who she can be truly vulnerable with or ones who bring out the best in her (the twins don't seem to push her out of her comfort zone, they just spend time with her baking and that does not a female heroine of a fantasy series make). And to date she's the only one who has had visions of the box Koschei's hiding or the girls he kidnapped so she's integral to the Big Bad.

[holidaysincambodia]

“I Hate Straights” - Published in 1990, written by Avram Finkelstein and David Robinson. From the book “Queers Read This”, a collection of the best queer liberation essays of the era.

transcript: I have friends. Some of them are straight.

Year after year, I see my straight friends. I want to see them, to see how they are doing, to add newness to our long and complicated histories, to experience some continuity.

Year after year I continue to realize that the facts of my life are irrelevant to them and that I am only half listened to, that I am an appendage to the doings of a greater world, a world of power and privilege, of the laws of installation, a world of exclusion.

"That's not true," argue my straight friends. There is the one certainty in the politics of power: those left out of it beg for inclusion, while the insiders claim that they already are. Men do it to women, whites do it to blacks, and everyone does it to queers.

The main dividing line, both conscious and unconscious, is procreation ... and that magic word - Family. Frequently, the ones we are born into disown us when they find out who we really are, and to make matters worse, we are prevented from having our own. We are punished, insulted, cut off, and treated like seditionaries in terms of child rearing, both damned if we try and damned if we abstain. It's as if the propagation of the species is such a fragile directive that without enforcing it as if it were an agenda, humankind would melt back into the primeval ooze.

I hate having to convince straight people that lesbians and gays live in a war zone, that we're surrounded by bomb blasts only we seem to hear, that our bodies and souls are heaped high, dead from fright or bashed or raped, dying of grief or disease, stripped of our personhood.

I hate straight people who can't listen to queer anger without saying "hey, all straight people aren't like that. I'm straight too, you know," as if their egos don't get enough stroking or protection in this arrogant, heterosexist world. Why must we take care of them, in the midst of our just anger brought on by their f---ed up society?! Why add the reassurance of "Of course, I don't mean you. You don't act that way." Let them figure out for themselves whether they deserve to be included in our anger.

But of course that would mean listening to our anger, which they almost never do. They deflect it, by saying "I'm not like that" or "now look who's generalizing" or "You'll catch more flies with honey ... " or "If you focus on the negative you just give out more power" or "you're not the only one in the world who's suffering." They say "Don't yell at me, I'm on your side" or "I think you're overreacting" or "Boy, you're bitter."

- Let Yourself Be Angry

They've taught us that good queers don't get mad. They've taught us so well that we not only hide our anger from them, we hide it from each other. We even hide it from ourselves. We hide it with substance abuse and suicide and overachieving in the hope of proving our worth. They bash us and stab us and shoot us and bomb us in ever increasing numbers and still we freak out when angry queers carry banners or signs that say Bash Back. For the last decade they let us die in droves and still we thank President Bush for planting a f---ing tree, applaud him for likening PWAs to car accident victims who refuse to wear seatbelts. Let yourself be angry. Let yourself be angry that the price for visibility is the constant threat of violence, anti-queer violence to which practically every segment of this society contributes. Let yourself feel angry that there is no place in this country where we are safe, no place where we are not targeted for hatred and attack, the self-hatred, the suicide - of the closet.

The next time some straight person comes down on you for being angry, tell them that until things change, you don't need any more evidence that the world turns at your expense. You don't need to see only hetero couple grocery shopping on your TV ... You don't want any more baby pictures shoved in your face until you can have or keep your own. No more weddings, showers, anniversaries, please, unless they are our own brothers and sisters celebrating. And tell them not to dismiss you by saying "You have rights," "You have privileges," "You are overreacting," or "You have a victim's mentality." Tell them "Go away from me, until you change." Go away and try on a world without the brave, strong queers that are its backbone, that are its guts and brains and souls. Go tell them go away until they have spent a month walking hand in hand in public with someone of the same sex. After they survive that, then you'll hear what they have to say about queer anger. Otherwise, tell them to shut up and listen.

[plurapony]

hihi!! we wanted to go anonymous due to fear of being hated or whatever. We are NOT endogenic whatsoever, nor do we support that, but we have started using plural terms ever since 2020. We have trauma, packed full of it, but we are not sure if we are even a system. We didn’t know who to yap to, but Tag liked your blog, so..

No, we are not technically a confirmed system

no, we will NEVER, EVER claim to be a system before ruling out other things. But we are seriously lost here.

I remember when I would randomly start using “we/us” when talking about myself then suddenly going back to “I/me”. Thought it was just an error in my speech. Until my friends started complaining about me acting “out of character”. I remember being in places I don’t remember actively going to, having knowledge in a subject I never actually learned, having sudden out-of-body experiences and memory loss. not to mention when people tell me i was breaking out into pinkie pie’s dialogue or suddenly act like a scared puppy when i have no memory of doing so. i could just be crazy, but I need someone to tell me that I’m not crazy at all. we dont know if ur comfy answering this!! u dont have to!!

you're definitely not crazy! the human brain is really weird and sometimes it does weird stuff like the things you mentioned. it could be an indication of a cdd but also it could be something else or it could be nothing.

i wanna share how it was for me before we realized we were a system! we would sometimes use we/us and it would be confusing, we'd wake up in the morning and have absolutely no clue who we were or where we were. we'd be hanging with friends we'd known for years and suddenly we couldn't remember their names, sometimes we couldn't even remember our own name. we are a very overt system so we'd speak in different tones and frequencies and type differently from each other. our host at the time was a trans boy and sometimes he'd feel extreme urges to wear pink and girly clothes so much so that he would spend a considerable amount of time on shopping sites browsing through them. one thing we'd do very often was mid conversation someone would mention something which would trigger another part temporarily and then we'd have zero memory of the last 5 seconds of the conversation and have to be reminded by the person we were conversing with.

it's so important to go see a medical professional because they are here to help you figure out what's happening and get to the bottom of things.

what I recommend in the meantime is to get a journal and just doodle in it. lay out all your thoughts and feelings (would also be a good reference for seeing a doctor/therapist)

hope that helps!

[IMAGE ID: ponyville is a (pro) endo free zone break dni and get blocked loser! END ID]

[djuvlipen]

i've been thinking a lot about anorexia prevention and how much it revolves around body image. when i was in middle school and high school the most common attitude i witnessed regarding anorexia was "don't starve, you'll die" followed by "you don't need to starve to be pretty. girls who are too skinny are ugly anyway, you don't want to look like that". it came from both adults (including my relatives) and other students. and i think that's a bad approach for many reasons. first, it associates anorexia to looks and body image when a lot of girls with anorexia don't starve to be pretty. as Naomi Wolf said in The Beauty Myth, anorexia is less about conforming to beauty standards and more about feeling in control of your body, a feeling that a lot of girls experience when navigating a misogynist world -- especially girls who survived sexual assault. sure, beauty standards play a big part in the onset of anorexia and social contagion but it's only the tip of the iceberg.

second, painting anorexic girls as shallow and calling them ugly is just discouraging bonding between girls and women. when i was in middle and high school girls who were suspected of having anorexia were bullied and called ugly for it. they were ostracized and i'm pretty sure being bullied at school is not of great help when dealing with an eating disorder. on the contrary, we should encourage solidarity and friendship between women and girls. anorexia is very competitive and trains you to look at your own body and at other women's bodies in a negative, critical light. i feel most strongly that the way we think about our own bodies, as women, is reflected in the way we think about other women's bodies. i do think that hating your female body will lead to your hating the body of other women. if we want to cultivate a healthy relationship with our own body, we also have to get rid of any competition we may have with other women, and we have to cultivate female friendship and solidarity

third, the consequences of anorexia don't boil down to looking too thin and ugly. it ruins your social life and your physical health to a degree many people aren't aware of. it's particularly harmful because when i started starving i thought the worst thing that could happen to me was death, and beside that the only other bad thing would be not looking very attractive. but i didn't care about my looks and i didn't care about dying either. however i did care about my friends, i did care about my academic performance, i used to enjoy little things like going for a walk or reading a book. now all my friends have more or less dropped me because i'm not fun to be around when i keep fainting everytime we go out, i'm constantly zoning out and i have no memory and no energy and i can't perform simple tasks or focus on anything, when i take a walk the only thing i think about are the calories i'm burning and some days my bones and my joints hurt too much and i can't even walk for too long. talking about anorexia purely in terms of looks is creating a misrepresentation of what it actually is and i do think it's failing many girls and women who may have not developed anorexia if the way we talk about it had been different

[makeastand]

‎‧₊˚✧looking for new long term discord rp partners✧˚₊‧

Hi everyone! I’m not new to roleplaying at all, and am looking for a handful of new writing partners, though I have absolutely no self control and can’t say no to anyone with a good plot. I get too invested in roleplays and can ramble on for days about a rp / character I love.

long ass post alert:

I’m 24 and have been roleplaying for about 10 years now. Please be 21+ before interacting (I will be checking and blocking if not) My time zone is GMT, but I don’t mind where my partners come from. I’ve been having so much inspiration recently and am dying for some new roleplays. I’m a real sucker for writing deep and complex characters, and very much enjoy writing for the plot and character development as opposed to poorly written smut just for the sake of it. If it fits in with the rp I’m happy to write smut, or fade to black, whatever you’re more comfortable with.

I work full time, and stupid hours, so I’m not always about, but I’ll try and let you know what’s going on.

I like writing the male role in MxF, and also love MxM. I love playing multiple characters in a rp, but you’re welcome to play as many or few as you like. The guys I play are pretty well thought out, with lots of depth, background, emotion, and usually a bunch of trauma (so please tell me your limits in advance). All I ask is your character is not dry and impossible to work with. I’m not stupid, and know when I’m being used for my male / dom muses so if you present me with an overly subby character who’s lacking personality, you will be blocked, sorry.

I prefer quality over quantity. Like I said, I can get carried away and write pages upon pages, but if you can only manage a couple of good paragraphs, that’s fine with me. I’ll try and match your length in replies as long as they’re not one liners.

In terms of plot, it would be easier to list the things I don’t love. There are a few plots which have been nagging at my brain recently:

zombie apocalypse

horror

tough guy x soft girl / guy

mafia related

I hate everyone but you trope

victorian era (preferably MxM)

noblewoman x poor man

celebrity x celebrity

haunted house

stripper x gang member

friends with benefits

small town / murder mystery

right people wrong time / ex friends or lovers reuniting

criminal x criminal

AI takeover (DBH style)

older, religious, inexperienced man x man whore

high school

fantasy (werewolves / vampires)

I can’t get rid of these two bullet points below and tumblr is making me violent so I’m going to wrap things up here. I’m going to try and get an updated list with my face claims / oc’s on my blog soon, so watch this space. I’m not one to pick your faceclaim, and you don’t have to use one if they’re not your thing. If you’ve read this far, thank you. Sorry this is so long! Please message me with what plot you’re interested in, because I’m trying not to get shadowbanned again.

[desultory-novice]

He'll Branch be like:

Even in Hell, miracles can happen.

Noir: 😃

But not for you. Suffer forever, teenage boy!

Noir: 😢

"Yeah, Dess! What did teenage boys ever do to you, huh?!"

...I thought that's what everyone's teenage years were like! XD

But your comment did lead to this bit of inspiration...

Noir: "Is this...all there is?"

Magolor: "To the afterlife? Don't ask me! I didn't even know building a theme park would work til I tried it! (I don't remember too much about it because I was massively hallucinating at the time. Max says I don't have to worry about litigation if anything breaks because everyone's already dead! ...You didn't hear that, by the way.)"

Magolor: "I thought you'd been here longer than me, actually."

Noir: "Yeah, I guess... I just kind of...zoned out through most of it. Kind of hoping...if I stopped thinking, I would disappear..."

Noir: "I... I'm only 16, you know? And...I only made one real mistake. Or... maybe everything was a mistake. Because every stupid decision I made on my own just made things worse."

Noir: "...Maybe the mistake was being born, I don't know."

Magolor: "Hmm. My boyfriend is damned for a near-eternity just because he 'whimsically' tried to take something for himself that belonged to everyone..."  (And it's going to BE an eternity if he doesn't stop pulling dumb pranks that add hours onto his clock!)"

Magolor: "I thought I'd done far worse than he had, but I feel like I got off lighter, even with this thing rooted deep into my head." 

Noir: "...What, the literal clown who pranked my sister? Who's always laughing like a drugged out fiend all the time?"

Magolor: "The very same! He used to love flying. Said it was the greatest, most freeing feeling in the world. ...He has to waddle everywhere now very, very slowly or he falls apart - and he hates it."

Noir: "...You know what sucks also? Not having hands."

Magolor: "Or to have them but not have control over them! ...Marx laughs because he would never admit to anyone how hard it is. And even though he can't stop pranking people, he's secretly terrified of being left here alone as the very last one of us damned souls."

Noir: "..."

Magolor: "...I don't know what it is that makes some lives harder than others. Why some of us live in a frankly blissful world of naps and sunshine without a thought in their round pink, friendly heads while some of us live to see everything we wanted, even the simple dreams, ripped away from us. And I don't know why half the patrons here are physical manifestations of nightmares and nihilism and death while the rest of us just wanted to be pretty, or prosperous, or strong, or have friends, or to protect someone they loved..."

Noir: "...Yeah..."

Magolor: "I thought if I built the best possible theme park, I could make everyone smile and shout with joy. My own little universe where I was in control. Not the harsh reality. But...this place is only a short-term fantasy. A game of pretend that fades as soon as you look away and see that the rest of the world is still on fire."

Magolor: "I haven't known you that long, and though you buried my boyfriend in the lake of fire, I think you deserve to be saved. To have everything good that was taken away from you and then some."

Magolor: "Despite a long time being used as a host for limitless power, I can't give you any of that... But I can promise, for you at least, the rides and games in Merry Magoland will always be free."

Noir: "...Guess it's something. And starting from nothing... it's a lot."

Noir: "Oh, but get rid of the mother%$!& tea cups for me!"

Magolor: "I could repurpose the land to build a 'Scope Shot' arena. There's been a lot of requests for that one to come back."

Noir: "'...Scope Shot?"

Magolor: "Interested? I've got some gameplay footage right here!"

Noir: "Wow, what are these, PS1 graphics?"

Magolor: "......"

[giggly-squiggily]

that lovely anon put the modern au back on my mind and i actually got started on the next hc post about the kamaboko squad, yey! (when will i finish it? uhh next question)

for the time being, here's some random lore i cooked up during the great lung infection of december 23

tengen and gyutaro have a blood feud going on and there's plenty of theories on how it started. some say it was because gyutaro got a little too flirty with hinatsuru at the club right in front of tengen, some say tengen may or may not have called daki a bitch to gyutaro's face. insiders know that tengen actually called her a cunt.

the people are split on the topic; obanai finds himself 100% on tengen's side for once because the one time they actually met daki called kaburamaru a worm, tanjiro is conflicted because daki is kind of a bitch but tengen really should be above having beef with a 16 year old and also it's a rude thing to say, douma thinks gyutaro should challenge tengen to a duel, and their mutual friend akaza wishes tengen and gyutaro would just get over themselves and act like adults for once instead of driving him insane with their endless complaining about each other. everybody else refuses to take a stance but is thoroughly entertained by the whole thing

anyway the whole thing culminated in an epic fist fight that sent both of them to the er at 2am and they have not been in the same room since

(daki is 16 and gyutaro is 20, i took some liberties with the demons' ages)

the layout of the unnamed town in which this au exists is essentially a valley surrounded by the mountainiest mountains to ever mountain and lots of forests, the town is pretty much middle of the road in terms of size; it's certainly small enough for people to be nosy af

the majority of the cast lives in the same part of town except for urokodaki, sabito and makomo (urokodaki's dojo is on one of the mountains and a bit outside of town, sabito lives with roommates while going to university tho) and gyomei who used to live on the other side of town until he started attending university

obanai and kanao weren't born in the valley and are both from the same city. kanao was adopted by the kocho family when she was seven years old, around the same time obanai became a nationwide sensation after every other member of the cult he grew up in died

obanai finds out about this when he starts spending more time with kanae through sanemi and meets all of her sisters and he gets fiercely protective whenever people try to tie kanao back to the cult, he'll snap at anyone who dares to accuse her of having connections to them

koyuki and mitsuri know each other from elementary school and stayed friends all throughout their teens which makes mitsuri the first one who accepts akaza into their circle when he gets together with kyojuro because while he is indeed a little scary she has seen how much koyuki loves her adoptive brother and she can't be that bad of a judge of character

senjuro and rui are in the same class in elementary school and they immediately flock together, being both shy outsiders and somewhat lonely kids. despite being sickly rui is a rascal who helps senjuro get out of his comfort zone and loosen up every now and then, meanwhile senjuro always keeps an eye on rui and always comes over when rui is feeling too weak to go to school

added bonus of rui hating that he's an only child and kyojuro being more than happy to insert himself as an older brother figure

sanemi and tengen become friends when sanemi is in ninth and tengen is in eleventh grade; they both have to do detention with muzan (their awful history teacher) and immediately hate each other until sanemi gets into a discussion with muzan and tengen notices hey this feral bastard is pretty cool actually. tengen helps sanemi with the detention work later on because ofc muzan isn't accommodating to sanemi's dysgraphia in the slightest and sanemi has to admit to himself that maybe the loud diva isn't half bad.

they leave the detention in an awkward state of mutually appreciated coexistence and sanemi spends the whole weekend anxiously trying to figure out how to proceed but luckily tengen is intrusive af and has absolutely zero issues welcoming himself at sanemi's, mitsuri's and giyuu's lunch table the monday after and from then on getting closer feels rather natural

inosuke lives with his mother and hisa and owns a pet pig. the pig's name is miss inosuke-sama because he wanted to name it after himself but then his mother told him that it was a "girl pig" and he added the miss in front of it because it felt disrespectful not to do so. needless to say inosuke and miss inosuke-sama are best friends for life and when he brings her to his first day of kindergarten it does get him in trouble immediately but also his new friend tanjiro is sufficiently charmed and if that's not a win then honestly what is

that's it for now, i'm gonna go to sleep - ily, stay hydrated and feel hugged ♡♡

HELP THESE ARE AMAZING HOLY-

Rey you precious dear, I love these so much AHH! I'm beyond delayed in replying but GOODNESS!

HELP GYU AND TENGEN FIGHTING KJRKJERKJEJKR It's some Romeo and Juliet 1968 levels of ridiculous where everyone just kinda ran out and mosh pitted in the middle of town square- only instead it's Tengen and Gyutaro and their constantly throwing childish insults and mean girl quotes at one another ("Nice wig, Tengen what's it made of?" "Your mother's chest hair" "WHY YOU-"

Oh gosh the one time Obanai's on Tengen's side jkakjajrkejkr I feel like their mutual anguish for Daki brings them closer you know? I'm with Tanjiro though- while she may be..difficult, Tengen really shouldn't be beefing with a 16 year old at his grown age ajkrkjarjkearjk Douma suggesting a Duel (he'd be in his Hamilton era) and Akaza being over it is a MOOD!

THE FIST FIGHT I CANNOT- Makio gets a call from Tengen all: "Hey babe...so I won't be coming home tonight.." with a selfie of him getting stitches and Gyutaro on the opposite side of the room with his leg in a cast half out of it as the pain meds kicked in.

Oo, I love the idea of the town being a mountain area! It fits with the whole forests and wisteria set up in the show, plus everything being just big enough to hold everyone but juuuust small enough to keep them in everyone's business is such a charming thought!

Protective Obanai! I love a good rare pair! I feel like Kanao's the type of girl who could utterly destroy you verbally if she feels like it but it's so rare that most assume she's incredibly non-confrontational (which, for the most part is true? Maybe not incredibly but like- she's came to peace that no matter what she says to the people trying to tie her back to the cult they'll never listen so she lets them run their mouths) but also appreciates Obanai being such a protective soul to her? While her sisters are incredible, she couldn't help but feel a little envious of Genya having such a ferocious big brother in his life so Obanai kinda fills that void for her, you know?

Ahhh Mitsuri! She's such a queen- I love how accepting she is! She's the type to see past all the rumors and fronts people put up, so while others might see Akaza's scary outsides, she's been around him enough to witness his gooey insides too. Also Senjuro and Rui being classmates and besties makes my heart so happy- Rui is truly a little rascal and Senjuro being both a good friend and someone to support him AH!

Tengen and Sanemi lore!!! Muzan being a crappy teacher fits the bill to a tee- and Tengen first hating Sanemi's guts but slowly and begrudgingly growing to like him is so canon I can't ajrkeajrkjeakjraekjlr Him squeezing his big ol muscular self beside Sanemi like "What up party people?" is just- God I love it so much!

Inosuke's pet pig!!! Miss Inosuke-sama! He absolutely sneaks her to school even in his high school years; it's not uncommon to hear pig snorts and wiggles in his backpack- or hear a distant "MY LUNCH!" from Inosuke whenever she eats his sandwich. Tanjiro is so delighted even if he's equally panicked cause "how do you hide a pig at school???" It becomes such a common sight most grow accustomed to it that when Inosuke doesn't bring her everyone's anxiously wondering if something happened to her. Then they're immediately reassured when Inosuke tells them his mom found out and wouldn't let him bring her anymore.

These were so freaking AHHH! Thank you for sharing, friend!

[taryry]

Here’s what Nevermoor character you love the most to says about you:

This is for entertainment purposes only, im not trying to offend anyone by this im just really bored and obsessing over Nevermoor. Again.

1) Morrigan Crow - you probably have family issues. You are a kind of person who has inside jokes with themselves and enjoys it. You had a Mitski phase. Or you still do. You have a small group of people that you trust with your life. You are probably a bit morbid. You are a night owl yet you love mornings. A high achiever. Go rest. You dont tend to express your opinions, others have to ask whats on your mind. You prefer peaceful surroundings. You cant stand the dirt in general and probably take way more showers trough the day than necessary. Amazing intuition. Your favorite subjects is history or any kind of social study.

2) Hawthorne Swift - you are very loyal and optimistic. You sleep with the socks on. You study for the test only if its about the stuff you are interested in, the rest of your grades are probably good because of your friends that get u out of trouble. You tend to get distracted a lot. You say your thoughts out loud and your inside voice does not like to cooperate with you. You let your intrusive thoughts win. People are drawn to you and children love being around you. You own the chaotic neutral genre. You take PE seriously. You were biting other kids when you were younger. You give the best hugs.

3) Cadence Blackburn - you are actually very emotional but would rather sit naked on a hot grill than let someone know. You sideye everyone. You love reading and you love walking around the forest. You either love rain or hate it no in between. Both cat and dog person. You love wearing rings and styling your hair. You use sarcasm to the point where people cant tell if you are being sarcastic or not. People think you are annoyed by them but you are actually happy to spend time with them. Good at keeping secrets and hiding stuff at general.

4) Jack - you are annoyed easily and you dont care if it shows. You enjoy studying and politic discussions. You play a music instrument or have played at some point or you really want to. Amazing sense of humor. For all of your closest friends you have thought that they were annoying and you couldnt stand them at first. You like to tease others. A bit arrogant but a good heart. A great listener with a lot of patience. You hate when others ask you to repeat what you have just said and every time it happens u take a second while staring at the wall and taking a deep breath before talking again. Responsibleoldersiblingcommunity.com

5) Jupiter North - you are a fan of 80s music. You are very optimistic and people are naturally gravitating towards you. You read people like an open book that was written for 5 year olds. You like making jokes about others but you can take a joke about you. People are scared when you get angry. Patient. Mother of the group. You like dancing in the rain and talking to strangers. One of the greatest students but nobody cant figure out how is that possible. You love traveling and trying out new things . Getting out of the comfort zone isnt a problem for you. You drink milk straight out of the carton, partly because it pisses others off and partly bc it keeps you from spilling it Born leader. A heart of gold. Chaotic. People think u say everything out loud but you dont. Others find you very comforting. I love you.

6) Ezra Squall - dark humor™. People cant tell when you are actually joking and try their best to stay in good terms with you. Clean freak. You love children. Unhealthy perfectionist. You dont study a lot but you have amazing grades. U enjoy listening to Crystal Castles and low vibrational music. Ambivert. You. Have. Style. You are able to predict things before you see the outcome. You do stuff for yourself and you think that the end justifies the means. You never explain yourself unless really necessary. You leave people on seen just for fun. Rule maker or breaker usually the first. You know your way with words and people. Unique person.

I hope you enjoyed this, comment if you guys want part 2!!

Stay wundrous xoxo

[namtanlovesfilm]

Wanted to start this by saying that I usually agree with your opinions (or even when I don't, I can at least see where you're coming from) but that's not the case when it comes to your opinion on Only Friends because I completely disagree and just wanted to add my two cents. You said that it wasn't relatable to the queer community but I'm sorry, the queer community isn't a monolith, there isn't one universal way that every single queer friendship group functions. Just because it wasn't relatable to your experience, it doesn't mean that it wasn't relatable to many other queer people's experiences. For example, one of my friend groups consists of gay men and the stories they've told me (and some of which I witnessed with myself)? Not that far off from OF (aka everyone getting with everyone, behind people's backs as well, and most of them are still on friendly terms now). It's perfectly fine that you didn't personally relate but you can't say no queer person/community did.

I also saw depth to a lot of characters and I could relate to several of them in different ways and everything in the finale made sense to me for those characters. For me it achieved what it set out to do: entertain, while also make me connect/care about some of the characters. It didn't do that for everyone (you included) but please don't claim it's a "bad show" as a general statement just because you didn't get anything out of it because a lot of people did. (My friend who struggles with depression and is currently going through a depressive slump found comfort in seeing Ray progress to a point where he's much happier at the end of the series because it gives her hope that she can get to that point soon too.)

Is Only Friends a brilliant, amazing, showstopping, incredible show? No. But it's not bad, far from it. It certainly has its flaws but the sudden hate it's getting is not warranted imo.

hi, first of all, it's fine to disagree lol, though it's always a bit jarring to me when people feel the need to let me know they disagree with me bc clearly we simply have a different taste & opinion. when I share my opinion about a show, I do it on my blog but never go on others' blogs to either defend a show I liked or trash a show I didn't like, but anyways. I have NEVER, EVER said that the queer community is a monolith & that all queer representation needs to be relatable to ME. in fact, a lot of my favorite queer media are HIGHLY UN-relatable to me lol. I never implied that only friends' flaws comes from it being unrelatable or unrealistic? in fact I believe it to be realistic since it's made by queer men & has recurring topics that p'jojo especially has used in previous shows of his, especially since the story of only friends is inspired by real-life events. in fact I said that I WISH they'd have leaned into the queer community aspect of it even more bc it was the one point in which this show differentiates itself from friend zone, so yeah. don't really know where you got that notion from. secondly, like it or not, I can claim any shows I've watched are bad in my opinion. once again, media is subjective & I did not like only friends so for me it IS a bad show. is it the worst? no. did I HATE it? no. did I have a good time in front of it? also no. also from a writing standpoint I'm sorry it IS objectively bad and FAILED at what it set out to do, especially considering the show itself doesn't seem to know what it set out to do in the first place. moreover, sudden hate? I've been criticizing only friends since it started airing lol, I'm not jumping on any bandwagon, and in fact it's more so the fandom that's catching up to the fact that this show is not very good. now, I'm genuinely glad that this show helped you & your friend and that you liked it! that's great, of COURSE this show is gonna have its fans, and in fact it has a lot of them! however it seems to me as if you've taken my (justified) criticism of the show to heart for a reason that only you fully know, and I hope you can investigate why that is. I truly value you as a long time follower of mine & I hope you can agree to disagree with me on that one even though I must admit this ask seems a bit jarring & personal to me. wish you all the best :)

xxx