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#I hate all 3 of those kids and their mother
theirondragonrants · 2 years
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Nothing brings me more rage than the fact that there are people who are rooting for Alicent and the 3 creeps she bore.
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inkskinned · 2 years
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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
#this is true#writeblr#warm up#relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes#amongst the Siblings#is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting#like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good#(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and#like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract#to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids#so like she was right to stock up#ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that#u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it#> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes#> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9#when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters#i am the middle child#out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite
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andresmounts2 · 7 months
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TW: Transphobia, including mentions of deadnaming & misgendering
Misgendering & deadnaming a trans child after they were killed is another level of disgusting. At this point, y'all know they are nonbinary & that their name is Nex. Y'all are intentionally doing this to spite them.
I don't care what their mother says, I don't care what the school says. I don't even care what the news says. Their name is Nex & they're an indigenous nonbinary person. Hate like this is literally what ended their life. You can't give your condolences & misgender the kid in the same sentence. Literally all of y'all need to grow up & put your bigotry to the side for like 2 minutes to acknowledge this shouldn't have happened.
[EDIT 3/15] Sources have stated that Nex went "he/him" & "they/them". At the time of posting (February 24) all news sources said that Nex was nonbinary and went solely by "they/them". (And there are still new articles that state this) From what I've seen he went by "he/him" with friends/primarily at school, but "they/them" with family.
I've addressed this in my reblogs, and comments, but obviously most people won't see that so I'm putting this here. Regardless, my original point still stands. His name is Nex. And Nex did not go by his deadname or "she/her". You are still childish if you're intentionally deadnaming & misgendering him or intentionally using feminine labels for him. (Because we've known since February that he never identified with terms like those)
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silverflqmes · 5 months
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hi!! i hope this request finds you well, do you think you could write agszc with a s/o whos good with kids please 💕?
໒⦂ 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒.
notes. hi hi anon — i wasn’t sure how to go about this so i took a little inspiration from the interactions cloud and zack have with the sector five kids and applied them to everyone a bit! went for headcanons, i hope they are to your likings<3
genre. fluff + crack
ft. sephiroth, cloud strife, zack fair, genesis rhapsodos, angeal hewley
gender neutral! reader.
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➫ 𝓢𝗘𝗣𝗛𝗜𝗥𝗢𝗧𝗛 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗
⌗  i hate to break it to you anon but i gotta slap some angst in here — sephiroth finds himself a bit confused, yet curious watching you among kids. had he been raised as normal kids were, would he have received this sort of attention too..? this kindness that was given without effort or consequences?
⌗  in the beginning he just let you do your thing, hanging out with them as you did while he waited to walk you home later.. but then he was slowly urged to join- by the kids no less.
⌗  he felt awkward, out of place and unsure of how he should act — but everyone was patient with him and something oddly warm began to spread in his chest. you didn’t pressure him into anything either — which he was grateful for.
⌗  the girls would braid brush his hair, place flowers in, and when the boys marveled at his height and overall build, begging to be carried, sephiroth obliged and found himself feeling elated — at peace among them.
⌗  you always told them bedtime stories but over time, the kids began to whisper and ask you if sephiroth could because his voice was so smooth and lulled them to sleep effortlessly
⌗  one time the children found a gray, stray kitten — and didn’t want to give it away.. so it became a combined effort between you, the kids and sephiroth, too.. who felt a strange empathy for the feline. it became an everyday thing from then for all of you to take care of the cat and welcome it among your group<3
⌗  someone crying or hurt? masamune’s out and ready to take out the reason behind those tears and wails — which you have to stop seph from doing, but it’s cute how much he cares<3
➫ 𝓒𝗟𝗢𝗨𝗗 𝓢𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗙𝗘 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗
⌗  he’s um- cloud is uh.. he’s doing his best, remember?? ahem.. in other words, he is still trying to get accustomed to kids — it’s a work in progress, but you seem to be amazing with them??
⌗  bro is completely awestruck at how well you get along with them, how you have them following you around with such ease and looking all excited when you arrive. literally how is that possible?? it makes no sense..
⌗  but cloud, as stated before, is doing his best. during the times that you ask him to help out, he manages to provide a lending hand in busying them.
⌗  a lot of the kids are in awe with him and want a chance to ride on fenrir with him or learn how to wield such an impressive weapon like he does — so cloud does what he can to indulge in those requests..
⌗  not the best or worst with cooking but he does know some recipes from growing up with his mother and has shared them with you to cook together on occasion for the children<3
⌗  over time cloud does get better with them, becomes more natural and less stiff.. though he can’t help but stop at times and stare when he witnesses you with them — so serene and kind, delicate and careful. unknowingly, it brings a tint smile to his lips and thoughts of the future.
⌗  ..and then the kids call him out and he becomes a flustered, tsundere, mess — which has you stifling a laugh into your hand LMAO
➫ 𝓩𝗔𝗖𝗞 𝓕𝗔𝗜𝗥 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗
⌗  you’re good with kids?? him too!! zack is so so good with kids, they absolutely ADORE him ( can’t blame ‘em ) — he’s just so chill for an adult!
⌗  seeing you with kids literally clenches at his heart, your exchanges with them are just so so cute and you speak in such a sweet, gentle voice towards them. could honestly listen to you all day if he could😭
⌗  the kids always tease you guys about getting married and make kissy faces at you guys which has your face burning up with embarrassment meanwhile zack is like hell yeah!! ofc he’s gonna marry you, duh!!
⌗  the girls like to pick flowers for you both and do your hair all pretty<3 and zack’s too, cuz ofc he needs to look his best too!! he has little reluctance and is excited as a puppy✨
⌗  oh no a kid is crying?? zack is on the case.. had it not been for you comforting them already oops. but-! he’s on his way to find the culprit! even if it’s just a pebble or branch that happened to be in their path..
⌗  cooking? not his domain, but you seem to be good at it! especially making these cute bunny looking apple slices<3 he helps with cleaning instead ( sometimes )
⌗  now what he does do good in is bedtime stories! has the craziest things to tell and even some folklore from his hometown, gongaga! the kids eat up everything he tells them and are out cold within minutes🫡
➫ 𝓖𝗘𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗜𝗦 𝓡𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗦𝗢𝗗𝗢𝗦 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗
⌗  surprisingly, he’s very good with kids! more so the girls because they’re all heart eyes for genesis, thinking him to be some sort of a prince.. especially with the way he dresses, speaks and carries himself in general..
⌗  he often entertains their fantasies, going along with them and accepting the flowers they picked for him or the colorings they’d hand him — it was just so cute!
⌗  the boys enjoyed to see him in action more with combat, literally watching with stars in their eyes when he fights.. but they always seem to gravitate a little more towards you ahaha..
⌗  genesis has to pinch himself occasionally from staring at you, watching how loving and caring you were towards these random kids that attached themselves so easily to you because you had given them the time of day
⌗  as the kids are lining up for your cooking, so is your boyfriend — he is SO there for that food and is very much enjoying not only the meals you prepare but this overall side of you.. it’s refreshing, he feels special to see it🙁
⌗  organizes a little play for the kids to take part in — of course it’s loveless, it always has to be with him.. and the kids beg him to read it to them at night which brings tears to his eyes. finally some loveless enjoyers!! unlike his friends who make FUN of him..
⌗  always brings baskets of dumbapples to share a piece of home with the kids and even makes different deserts and pastries that he came up with personally! might not do much cooking but baking — and with his hometown’s fruit? yes he will!
➫ 𝓐𝗡𝗚𝗘𝗔𝗟 𝓗𝗘𝗪𝗟𝗘𝗬 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗
⌗  you would think he is another one of the awkward few ( seph and cloud, unfortunately im looking at you guys.. ) but he is not! angeal is really good at taking care of zack, almost as if he’s his own family.. so i believe he must be good with children too despite his stoic appearance
⌗  it was by chance one day during a mission that he had ended up helping you out with the kids you regularly took a detour to visit and hang out with, always bringing stuff from your missions — it was super cute honestly😭
⌗  he is a pretty family oriented guy tbh and totally seems like malewife material?? cooks for the kids, cleans up too, patches up them up if they get injured and tells stories to put them to sleep!! he’s doing it all, guys!
⌗  he wants to lessen your load as much as he can but you seem to have things pretty much under control and the kids are just so chill with you — it’s impressive honestly, he might need a tip or two for handling zack..
⌗  he was telling a story one time — about the buster sword, actually, and as attentive as the kids were, even you since it was your first time hearing, you’d ended up fast asleep along with the kids — it was the cutest sight seeing them curled up against you
⌗  games aside, you do try to teach the kids norms and values to keep with them and angeal also throws in a few words about dreams.. honor.. etcetera..
⌗  a few days later the kids ended up making cardboard and wooden cutouts of the buster sword and repeated his words along with the gesture — yourself included..🫣
notes. sorry for the wait, i hope these were okay and to your likings! i went in with no plan and this was the result basically.. i know it was meant to center around the reader but it shifted over to the boys ahaha.. my bad, hope you don’t mind :’)
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lovely-p-issues · 4 months
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Fic idea - Astyanax in Ithaca
for times when my English will become acceptable because writing this in Polish feels not right sample of the story under the summary c:
Of course, I was thinking about Penelope's reaction to Odysseus showing up with a new kid (10/11 years old, give or take, Astyanax) at their doors.
I imagined it as the Game of Thrones scene when Ned Stark comes home and shows Catelyn a baby who, he claims, is his bastard. If I were her, I would lose my mind.
But I think that Odysseus explained himself chaotically, yet truly and Penelope didn't fight with the idea of raising the little prince as their own.
But Telemachus? Well, that's a hell of a different story.
He spent his childhood without his father, missing his presence and hoping to meet him one day. He lived in his shadow, as the problematic son of the absent king that everyone wanted to kill, or as a painful reminder to his mother that Odysseus wasn't around anymore and that she needed to be there for the two of them.
Now his dad is back but with a new child.
A new child who knows his father so well. Odysseus was his only parent for ten years (if we forget about 600 uncles, but they died after like 3 years? if I get it right?) and they just get themselves on an impossible level.
Odysseus knows Astyanax's nightmares (they share them).
Astyanax knows his father's past and doesn't need to ask many questions, and Telemachus does. He hates to do it because he sees Odysseus's pain, he sees Astyanax's reproachful look, like he is going to fight Telemachus if he doesn't leave their father, and-
and he sees the sad, concerned eyes of his mom.
So he doesn't ask much about those 20 years. And somehow it's even worse.
Because Telemachus doesn't know Odysseus. Because it feels weird and not home, like they are forced to be close, but they are not. Because he knew his father from songs, stories and legends, and this man is not who he heard of and he doesn't know how can he fix it.
Telemachus doesn't like to think about it but feels like he gives up on Odysseus. He spent the last 20 years of his life trying to reach that man and- Telemachus is tired.
Besides, Odysseus has another son anyway, right?
The prince of Troy, cursed boy, son of Hector, Astyanax, who also turned out to be a pain in the ass.
He knows that he can't blame the kid for his existence or even for the fact that Odysseus took him to their home.
For that Odysseus often takes Astyanax for horse rides to show him the island. The thing that Telemachus did alone.
For that, Odysseus teaches the boy how to use a sword and they laugh a lot during that. The thing that Telemachus did with strangers, got dozens of bruises, always trying to do everything he could to impress the person that wasn't there.
He doesn't blame Astyanax.
He just can't stand him.
But the boy seems to love the idea of going after him whenever Odysseus manages to pull him off for a moment. It's okay when Astyanax watches him during the trainings with eyes shining with excitement. However, it's bad when Astyanax starts to talk.
Father said I'm getting better at parrying-
When I was with father on Calypso's island-
Father does this completely differently-
Telemachus is a patient man. He waited for his father for 20 years. But sometimes he asks himself if Astyanax knows that all this talking about Odysseus, the man he missed but can't actually get to know, is such a trigger for him.
Maybe Astyanax teases him to show how much more of a son Odysseus is?
With every day Telemachus is more and more irritated. He does his best to hide it, but he can't ignore this fire burning him from the inside.
The reason for this fragile peace collapse is, relatively, very stupid.
Telemachus was tired after all day when he met Odysseus.
"The situation in the city is now calmed down,’ he informed his father, combing through his wind-tangled hair."
Odysseus nodded and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Thank you, Telemachus. Well done."
Telemachus froze, not knowing what to say. He couldn't even move. Finally, he nodded, wincing slightly at the awkwardness of his every interaction with his father.
"Of course, father."
Odysseus seemed equally perplexed. However, the whole situation changed when Astyanax appeared in the courtyard where they stood.
Or, he ran into it, almost toppling over, just to get to Odysseus faster and embrace him around the waist.
"Dad, you will never believe what I found with mother in the garden!"
Telemachus watched with unhealthy interest as his father's face lit up with a smile as he listened to Astyanax's excited chatter.
A sudden anger, though senseless and petty, flared his veins. He had to avert his gaze and drive it into the ground so that no one could see his anger. His jaw was clenched tightly.
Twenty years of life based on a vague memory. An entire journey to find his father. His faith, his efforts and his devotion. All this to not be able to have one real conversation with his father. All this to watch both his parents melt down over his new, little brother. All this to stand by and watch his dreams fade away.
He no longer watched.
He walked away before he could do something stupid. Something that would distance him even further from his father.
He holed up in one of the cool and dark corridors of their palace. He concentrated on his breathing and massaged his temples.
He was an adult and knew how to deal with his feelings. Not that anyone had ever taught him that.
"Telemachus, what's wrong? You don't even know what we found in the garden, you went too fast!"
He didn't know shit about how to deal with his feelings.
"Could you, for five minutes, let me live as I lived before you came along? Five minutes without your constant footsteps and shouting behind my back. Five minutes of peace and quiet! That's all I'm asking for!"
But Astyanax took a few steps back as if frightened by Telemachus' sudden outburst. A grimace twisted his face and he squinted as if Telemachus was an extremely difficult puzzle for his quick mind.
"Why are you so angry? I don't understand."
"At this point? I'm not sure anymore. All I know is that I wasn't this angry even once before you dragged yourself home with father and decided to act as if it had all been yours forever."
Telemachus had to calm down. For bloody hell, he had just shouted at the eleven-year-old as if he was guilty of anything.
‘Are you angry about your father bringing me with him?’
Damn it.
It wasn't true. To be fair, he did not want Astyanax to die that night in Troy or be lost in the depths of the burning city.
Still, did he want him here? He let his thoughts wander before he could finally admit it to himself.
Astyanax, essentially, was not the problem. Everything else was. Telemachus was as well.
"No. There are many other things I'm angry about, but not this."
He sat down on the floor and leaned against the cool wall. He hid his face in his hands and let the anger leave him with his next breaths.
"Forgive my shouting. You got me at the wrong time, brother."
And he heard the boy slowly slide down the wall and sit down a few steps away from him.
"You should be grateful, you know?" suddenly said Astyanax. "He travelled all the world to see you and Mom."
You won't scream, Telemachus said to himself. He took a breath.
"Yeah, he didn't really know me, so. I don't know if that counts."
"That's even better. I mean, he loved you anyway. All this time, he was thinking about you"
This logic was wrong, but Telemachus doesn't find enough strength to fight over it.
They stayed silent for a few minutes.
"He didn't want me, you know? He just didn't want me dead and I reminded him of you. He was also scared of what I would become if he just left me alone. And you are so awful but he wanted you from the beginning and he loves you and he was so proud and-" Astyanax put his arms around his knees, his voice breaking as he spoke his next words: "You're a terrible idiot, you know. But he still wants you."
Telemachus needed a few seconds to see that every now and then, Astyanax would rub his wet eyes with his little fists.
He wasn't ready for this, even after months of training he wouldn't be ready. He stays silent for a moment. Slowly, he puts his arms over the crying mess and draws him to his side.
"And you think that father carried you all over the world because he doesn't like you?"
"Because he's kind and he would be ashamed to tell uncle Polites what he did."
"As far I know he wasn't so nice all this time, right? But he never turned his back on you. If you don't trust me, trust that. Odysseus came with you to Ithaca, because he wants you."
Astyanax did not reply but rested his head on his side. Telemachus let him.
Later that night, Telemachus carried a tired Astyanax straight to his parents' bedroom and knocked. When confused Odysseus finally opened it, Telemachus threw the sleepy child at him without hesitation.
"Hug your bloody kid."
And he walked away. This was his moment to avoid uncomfortable questions.
Let me know what do you think. And yes, Telemachus and Odysseus have a proper conversation about being father and son, but later.
BTW sorry for all the errors, I'm so sleepy right now I barely see my screen
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imnameimswrld · 6 months
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ⵌ ׄ ۪ 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐁𝐎𝐘 𝐈𝐒 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐄 ¹⁶ ׄ ⑅ CL16 ‌˖ ֺ ᰮ
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— DESCRIPTION ੭ alex's twin sister has had the hots for a certain blue eyed ferarri driver, and it's finally time to stake her claim on him.
— PAIRING ੭ charles x albon!reader.
— FILE ੭ social media au.
— WARNINGS ੭ language.
— FACE CLAIM ੭ tontawan tantivejakul.
━━━━━━━━━━❪ 🖤 ❫━━━━━━━━━━
alex_albon & yn_albon • 1 hr.
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seen by charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 988 335 others
lilymhe replied to alex_albon story !
stop being mean to ur sister alexander.
landonorris replied to alex_albon story !
oh, so that's how it is ? golfing without me now ? okay. cool.
pierregasly relied to your story !
wooaahh, what's with the heart there girl ? trying to steal my man or something ?
get in line gasly, this boy is mine.
user replied to your story !
THE HEART MISS MA'AM !!?!?!?
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THE BETTER TWIN
so golfing was fun guys !
we should totes do it again sometimes 😄
STUPID STINKY COPY & PASTE
why ?
so you can just stand there like a flag pole and flirt with charles the whole time ?
THE BETTER TWIN
exactly ! 😁
LILY MOMMY
AND SHE LOOKED DAMN HOT DOIN' IT TOO.
STUPID STINKY COPY & PASTE
i-
it's always 2 against 1 here.
LILY MOMMY
you'll get used to it hun 💋
THE BETTER TWIN
eewwww no being lovey dovey in the gc allowed.
brb guys, gonna go text my man's
STUPID STINKY COPY & PASTE
HE IS NOT UR-
oh forget it, ur hopeless.
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FUTURE BF
hey y/n !
it's charles here, lily sent me ur number I hope that's cool with you ?
HIS FUTURE GF
hey charles !
yes ofc omg 😊
FUTURE BF
I think I grabbed ur golf set by accident haha 😅
HIS FUTURE GF
oh no problem !
you can give it back tonight at 8pm, at reagan's diner, and wearing ur finest suit because it is a 3 star restaurant.
FUTURE BF
I...
...uhm....
...huh ?
are u... asking me out ?
HIS FUTURE GF
did I stuttter, charles ?
no ?
so 8pm, sharp. those are my favourite golf clubs that i never use, so i'd like them back.
are we clear ?
FUTURE BF.
yes ma'am.
charles_leclerc & ynusername added to their story ! • 2hr
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seen by pierregasly, alex_albon, and 1 224 353 others
alex_albon replied to charles_leclerc story !
WHAT
CHARLES
ARE. U. INSANE.
SHE'S CRAZY !?
but she's miiiinnnneeee 😁
maxverstappen1 replied to charles_leclerc story !
so, what did you do ? huh ?
because how does a total dope like urself, bag a 20 like yn ?
ahh, come on max :\
lilymhe replied to your story !
YAAASSSS QUUEEENNN
GET UR MANS
YOU KNOW IT 😝
user replied to your story !
my wife... had been stolen from me....
user replied to your story !
NO COME BACK TO ME YN 😭
charles_leclerc replied to your story !
how am I going to get people to believe that u wanted me first ?
u won't 🤭
yn_albon
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liked by lilymhe, carlossainz55, and 1 332 454 others
yn_albon suck on ur zero points alexander.
View all comments
logansargeant OUCH.
▹ yn_albon not u logs u know i love ya !
[ liked by logansargeant ]
lilymhe as the girlfriend I shouldn't click a like on this post but...
▹ alex_albon but ? BUT !?
▹ yn_albon love ya too lils baby 🎀
maxverstappen1 the real mic drop is alex thinking that YN ALBON couldn't pull a kid like charles.
▹ charles_leclerc I want to take offense but I can't, because ur very much right.
▹ user HOL' ON- alex thought YN MOTHER ALBON couldn't pull any man of her choosing !? 😭
▹ yn_albon aw, thanks maxie !
alex_albon just say u all hate me and call it a day.
▹ yn_albon quit being dramatic lex and answer mum's ft before she beats ur ass with the wooden spoon again.
user so no one's gonna talk abt slide 3 ? NO ONE !? HELLO !? 😭
♡. ♡. ♡.
imnameimswrld OOHOOO BACK AGAIN ??? hiii lovelies, I hope you're all doing well ! college is trying so hard to kick my ass but i am hanging in there (just barely lol)... but I hope you enjoyed this one, I'm switching up the look of my stuff coz I hate the old look :)
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paymechildsupport · 6 months
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Teacher!Ryomen Sukuna x Sorcerer!Reader // Teacher!Sukuna HC's <3
(THIS IS NOT STUDENT X TEACHER, READER IS NOT A STUDENT!)
Personally, I think it’s an actual crime there isn’t more teacher!sukuna content out there. I’ve only ever seen one fan art of it, and ever since I’ve been scrounging around on my hands and knees to find more
So m’ gonna just do it myself 🙏 
-!! [AFAB + AMAB] READER (HC’s involving reader’s bodily autonomy have both a female and male vers. → brief smut drabble at the end)    [everyone's in on this one👏]
-!! Reader is a rather powerful sorcerer 
-!! CW: Slight possessiveness (mainly for the short smut at the end → overstimulation, dacryphilia, slight size kink(?), mention of double cocks for og form Sukuna)
-!! Veeeery slight nod to manga spoiler if you squint. If you don’t know it 99% certain you won’t pick up on it
-!! Sukuna being a bit of a softy for his SO
3k+ words
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Awhile (around a good few centuries) ago, Ryomen Sukuna came to the conclusion that no, this was in fact not the way he wanted to live his life. He decided to put everything behind him; the bloodshed, the death, the massacres, and cannibalisms— (okay maybe that stayed the same)— all the things that essentially made his staple as the King of Curses. He’s a changed curse, he swears it. Honestly? Human food? Not that bad. Kinda worth changing his world view for 
With a changed work ethic, and a changed heart, Ryomen Sukuna made the conscious decision to become a teacher, — specifically a teacher in sorcery
—————-
Ryomen Sukuna works at Jujutsu Tech,-- the infamous King of Curses, who predominantly spends most of his days helping ungrateful brats obtain the necessary skills to kill his kind
→”No, you thick-skinned brat, you’re doing it all wrong!”
    “I’m sorry, Sukuna-sensei! I’m trying,--.. I really am! Could you maybe go over it one more time–”
             “No! You’re going to die all alone as your friends are tortured mercilessly!”
“How could you say that…” 🥺 
Following the fateful passing of Yuji Itadori’s grandpa, the poor kid awakened as a sorcerer with a rather nasty supply of cursed energy; a complete abnormality with an aura suspiciously like that of a certain Ryomen Sukuna… 
→ “The little brat is not living with me” 
“Awh, c’mon Sukuna-!! The kid’s a ticking time bomb to disaster, he needs help controlling his cursed energy, and who better to help than the amazing King of Curses himself!” 
“Shut up, Satoru Gojo.” 
“Ohoho~... looks like someone isn’t happy to become a single mother~~” 
“What-!? Single moth– fool, you yourself are a single mother” 
“...oh, yeah. Hehe… 😚”
“I hate it here…😒”  
Now, with the additional burden of personally attending to Yuji Itadori, there was only one thing keeping Ryomen Sukuna from completely imploding: 
You. His partner, his lover, his spouse, his anchor,-- the only source of light in his miserable, cursed life, – the sole person keeping him from reverting back to his old, murderous ways. 
Meeting a few years back, the ancient curse could’ve sworn the world got a dozen shades lighter the second his eyes landed on your form in the Tokyo crowd. Where everyone was actively moving away from his looming, intimidating hulk of a body, you looked at him with eyes void of the fear reflected off so many others. 
You approached him with interest, recognizing his unmistakable aura for that of the King of Curses, – and, to his utmost shock, – you proceeded to have a perfectly normal, civilized conversation with him. Never once did you look at him like you would a monster. Every time he’d get lost in those eyes of yours, never once did he find anything short of pure love and affection. It was sickeningly sweet. 
There on a mission, you introduced yourself as a fellow Jujutsu Sorcerer. 
Ryomen Sukuna could’ve sworn he’d heard your name before: rather infamous with the higher-ups, you were a well-respected sorcerer. That only aided to his immense confusion: why would a sorcerer of such high esteem and all around regard even remotely think talking to him, the King of Curses, was a good idea? 
Absolutely flabbergasted and entranced from your first encounter, Ryomen Sukuna was practically completely at your mercy. It took very little for you to simply haul him over your shoulder and take him wherever; he’d soon become akin to a lost puppy with you. 
Ryomen Sukuna is absolutely down-horrendous with his emotions. Hah, communication? Never heard of her. 
He’s never felt this deep for anyone before, and it terrifies him to no end. You terrify him to no end,-- the amount of power you have over him could be almost comical. 
At the start, he flat out avoided you altogether. Anytime he’d see you on campus he’d immediately start in the opposite direction. Anytime you’d attempt to strike up a conversation something would come up,-- he’d have to go somewhere, or the brats had gotten themselves in trouble again. And when Satoru Gojo found out about his little “crush”...  oh boy, the teasing was lethal.
It wasn’t long before he craved your touch, and Ryomen Sukuna started to enter withdrawal from your presence. You were brutal, the poison continuously being pumped into his veins, – which was extra ironic, considering he was after all the King of Poisons, – how the actual hell did he end up in such a position? What have you done to him? 
Man, he was cooked. 
With a lot of time, and a heck of a lot of patience, did the curse finally allow himself to reveal more of himself to you. 
It’s never been easy, – even after you two were married did Ryomen Sukuna still suck absolute ass at communicating his wants. 
He craved your attention, your gaze, your approval. You were the drug that he simply couldn’t get enough of. 
He’s not good with words, – in the past everything was just handed to him, – he had no clue how to actually work for someone’s affection. 
Please be patient with him, – he’s trying, he really is 🥺. No matter how much he denies it, no matter how much he complains he hates being dependent on someone, no matter how much he claims how meaningless love is, you both know deep down these feelings of deep admiration and affection aren’t one sided. Sometimes, that fact alone can get you through even his most frustrating of times. He pushes you away because he feels guilty, but almost immediately does he regret his actions and desire your presence more than anything. The things you do to him 
He lost his original form centuries ago, abandoning it after his near fatal confrontation with the sorcerers of the Heian Era. Gravely wounded, he absolved to staying hidden, laying low in the shadows. Sometimes he wished he still had that form, – still had his four arms, his two faces– he felt stronger, prettier in that body. Despite how much you told him how beautiful his current, two-armed form was, he wonders if you would’ve liked his original form– what it could do, how it could please your body. (But most of all he missed his two massive cocks to shove deep inside you–)
Ryomen Sukuna is very insecure about his image as the feared “King of Curses”. He’d be seen as weak, like he’d gone soft, – if anyone found out about you. That did little to deter you from showering him with your affections though <3 Even if he struggled to receive such affections–:
“What the actual hell do you think you’re doing–” 
“What? Am I not allowed to visit my darling husband at his job?” 
“No- ..! Who exactly do you think you are, you can’t just waltz into wherever to embarrass me–” You were in an empty classroom in what would be the normal time for lunch. The students would be out eating, so it was only you and him.
“Is that really all you think I do? Embarrass you?” You fought to conceal the pained expression threatening to bubble up to the surface. 
“Yes! Do you know what they’ll think of me if they see me with you? He snaps angrily
“Are you.. Ashamed of me?” You blink 
“What-? No, of course not” His face contorts into a scowl 
“Then why can’t people see me with you?!” 
“That’s not what I meant–” He hisses 
“Yeah?” you retort, “then, what did you mean by that?” 
“I–....”  Ryomen Sukuna only ever seems to find himself short of words with you
Nodding curtly, “I’ll take my leave then” you make your way to the door 
“Wait-” you pause, he hated seeing you upset. It made him feel hopeless, it made him feel weak. “tsk, nevermind. Leave then” 
Huffing, you step out the door. Your second foot never even leaves the threshold before you’re lifted up by a pair of strong arms. 
“Gah-! Ryomen– what the hell?!” 
“Shut up.” the curse growls, placing you down on the nearest desk with a surprising gentleness, “just shut up.” He nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck
You smile, accustomed to his brazenness, knowing this was him succumbing to his own affections for you.
“I’ll be quieter next time.” 
“Mmm… don’t be”
“Oh?” you quirk an eyebrow, “are you no longer embarrassed of being seen with me?” 
“No,” he grumbles, “if any pathetic worm dares to utter something against me, I’ll cleave their head off” 
Chuckling, “charming”
“I’ll do it for you too” that part he whispers, so low you almost miss it. Almost. 
“Awh, you’d slaughter anyone putting dirt on my name? And they say romance is dead 🥰” 
“Shut the hell up.” 
-------------
Sukuna Ryomen would have a special ringer set for you in his phone so whenever you’d text him he’d know it was you 
He never responds to anyone’s texts,-- anyone’s that’s not yours. 
The second he hears that notification that man is immediately scrolling. It took him years to figure out how to work a telephone,-- and he still kinda sucks at it. So it takes him a while to respond, – he’s just a slow typer :) 
He’ll be in the middle of sparring with Yuji for his training when he’ll hear your notification and swiftly whip out his phone, – still in the middle of fighting. Poor Yuji will still be sweating his ass off trying his very diddly darn hardest to land a singular punch and he won't even glance up from his phone 😭
It doesn’t matter what he’s doing, – the guy could be in the middle of fighting a Special Grade and he’d start texting you about what he wants for dinner while simultaneously throwing slashes 😟
Not big on PDA, – but alone? Man, you can’t get the bastard off you, – blud’s clingier than a kitten 😭he just really likes being nice and snuggled up in your arms 
Alone, will often call you, – regardless of gender, – doll, (whore), sweetheart (if you’re not being a pain in the ass), – possessive lil’ shit and likes to add ‘my’ in front of any pet name, just to enforce the fact that you’re his. 
Calls you karasu –(Japanese word for raven) 
Sukuna Ryomen is incredibly picky with what he eats, (unless it’s your ass–)     – he needs his meals done in a very specific way, otherwise he’s just not eating. It needs to be your meals too. If bro forgets to bring lunch or you don’t have time to make one for him he just starves. He’s an absolute menace when hangry– super grumpy. None of the students can stand him hungry, – and he refuses to defile his delicate palette with fast food of all horrible things
You got some of those cute cookie cutters for sandwiches and gave him little star sandwiches one day for his lunch. Mans was over the fucking moon. His ass refuses to ever eat another sandwich again unless its cut into cute lil’ shapes 🤏🥺
Be careful if you ever decide to visit him at work after a certain amount of times, cuz he will make you useful: using you as a sparring partner, giving you chores, making an example out of you to the other students. 
You’re strong enough to hold your own against the King of Curses in a quick spar, – which really only means you won’t get immediately eviscerated upon throwing hands. 
You’re strong, but nowhere near as strong as Ryomen Sukuna. 
He’d only give you a cocky smirk, telling you to hurry up and lock in. You stare at the expecting faces of Megumi, Nobara and Yuji – who you naturally have grown a rather close bond to, being around each other so often. He gives you a reassuring thumbs up, smiling with an expectant glamor. You gulp, glancing back at your husband who has the most shit-eating grin on his face. Oh, you were cooked. 
You manage to successfully dodge at least two strong attacks before being thrown onto your ass, the wind knocked out of you. Huffing, you scramble up, irritation giving you newfound determination. The King only raises an eyebrow at you. 
You explode into a sprint, dashing up behind him, seemingly catching him off-guard. You lean in real close to his ear, whispering in a sultry tone: 
“Your shoelace is untied” 
“What, I’m not even wearing shoelaces–” and he gets thrown into the nearest tree, snapping it in half. 
“Hahah!!” 
“No way, Sukuna just got his ass handed to him!” Nobara exclaims, grinning
“That was so cool!” gushes Yuji, sending a wave of pride flowing through you at his excitement. 
It is short lived, as your husband comes up behind you, glaring with a burning passion in his eyes. 
“You totally beat him up, you sent him flying–” Megumi slaps a hand to Yuji’s mouth, his rambling getting choked off with a “mmph-!” 
His smile is laced with dynamite as Sukuna dismisses the students early. Confused, but mostly relieved, the trio scurry away, Nobara and Yuji shouting cheery goodbyes over their shoulders. 
Only you were close enough to see the raging lust in the King of Curse’s many eyes. His gaze rakes over your body, tensed in a fight or flight state, predatory. You swallow, hard, chuckling nervously, “Heheheh…”  
Oh man, you were so horribly, undoubtedly cooked. 
(short smut begins below line)
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[AFAB vers.]
Sukuna is brutal, hips smashing against yours, large hands gripping so hard large bruises start to form on your hips. You cry out, sobbing, pleading with him to slow the fuck down. Sukuna only clicks his tongue, condescension dripping from his tone, 
“Where’s all that confidence and strength from before, eh?” 
“h..*hic*..huh-?” 
“Tsk,” he grunts, slamming himself particularly hard into your leaking heat, causing you to scream in both pleasure and pain
“S..sukuna-!! P- *hic* please..-! I-..I can’t— I can’t– OHH~” You keel over, knees giving in from underneath you. You stay pressed firmly against the teacher’s desk– his desk–  in his empty classroom, – only being held by Sukuna’s deadly grip. “I-It *hic*.. It– HURTS..- *hic*” 
“You can,...  and. you. will.”  he punctuates each syllable with another unforgivable thrust, “You seemed confident enough you.. *pant* take me in a..- *pant* .. in a fight– fuck–” Warm cum swells, coating your insides white. 
Your eyes roll violently to the back of your head, thighs squeezing desperately against him, instinctively trying to milk him for all he’s got, – despite the excess cum already spilling from your abused hole, kept in only by Sukuna’s massive cock. Was this the fourth or the fifth time..? 
You lost count ages ago, numbers losing all sense of value along with everything else in your head, Sukuna absolutely fucking your goddamn brains out. Dumbed by his cock, you could only limply gaze dreamily through lidded eyes, a look of pure bliss on your face. 
Sukuna grins down at your fucked out face, admiring you as his masterpiece. You looked so pretty impaled on his cock. Pulling your head back by your hair, he smashes his lips onto yours in a sloppy kiss. You truly were the best thing to come of his long, cursed life. 
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[AMAB vers.]
Sukuna is cruel, hips smashing against your ass, large hands gripping so hard large bruises start to form on your hips. He fucks you, bent over the desk, – his desk, in his empty classroom,-- and shaking like a pathetic mutt. You cry out, sobbing, pleading with him to slow the fuck down. Sukuna only clicks his tongue, condescension dripping from his tone, 
“Where’s all that confidence and strength from before, eh?” 
“h..*hic*..huh-?” 
“Tsk,” he grunts, large hand closing around your swollen, throbbing cock. Your eyes widen in horror as he begins to jerk you off at a grueling pace, causing you to scream in both pleasure and pain
“S..sukuna-!! P- *hic* please..-! I-..I can’t— I can’t– OHH~” You keel over, knees giving in from underneath you. You stay pressed firmly against the desk only held by Sukuna’s torso. “I-It *hic*.. It– HURTS..- *hic*” 
“You can,...  and. you. will.”  He punctuates each syllable with another unforgivable thrust, syncing with a violent pump to your cock, limpand emptied out. “You seemed confident enough you.. *pant* take me in a..- *pant* .. in a fight– fuck–” Warm cum swells, coating your insides white. 
Your eyes roll violently to the back of your head, thighs squeezing desperately against him, instinctively trying to milk him for all he’s got, – despite the excess cum already spilling from your abused hole, kept in only by Sukuna’s massive cock. You're so drained, already milked dry, a few meager squirts of cum dripping from your cock. Was this the fourth or the fifth time..? 
You lost count ages ago, numbers losing all sense of value along with everything else in your head, Sukuna absolutely fucking your goddamn brains out. Dumbed by his cock, you could only limply gaze dreamily through lidded eyes, the look of utter worship on your face enough for him to harden once again inside of you. 
Sukuna grins down at your fucked out face, admiring you as his masterpiece. You looked so pretty impaled on his cock. Pulling your head back by your hair, he smashes his lips onto yours in a sloppy kiss. You truly were the best thing to come of his tedious, damned life. 
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Sukuna brain-rot goes hard-!! He's such a goofy lil' guy, I love him :3
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porcelain-savior · 5 months
Text
Pink Stuffed Cat
Stone x Reader
not proofread!
A/n: I saw someone send DEATH THREATS to someone else because they didn’t agree that Stone was gay, autistic and trans. LIKE BRO. Calm down! Don’t make the fandom like Hazbin Hotel’s fandom. We saw how that ended, now everyone hates the Hazbin Hotel fandom
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“I think this is enough to feed us for the weekend.” Stone said as he looked through a purse that he and you stole. The four of you, Stone, Vinnie, Skipp and you had spilt up to go steal from the rich to the richest people who were so caught up in their lives that they didn’t even notice. “Alright! Let’s start heading back then.” Stone nodded.
You both walked pasted a toy store. Something in the window had caught your eye. A pink stuffed cat. It’s childish—but it’s pink…and a cat. You stopped and stared, your eyes becoming bigger. “What are you staring at?” Stone asked as he glanced behind him at you. He raised an eyebrow as looked over your shoulder. “No.” Stone said as he began to tug at your arm. “Wait—! Just..” You whined as tried to reach out. “I am not risking to get caught just for some—shitty stuffed animal.” Stone said as he sighed. “Please Stone! Please please!” You begged as you stared up at him.
“..I hate you so much.” He groaned, rolling his eyes. “Come on.” He grumbled as he grabbed your wrist and pulled you inside of the toy store. A whole of rich loser kids were running around the store. “Jesus Christ..where is this stupid cat..” Stone looked around. “Right there!” You pointed. The both of you walk over. “Get ready to run.” Stone said as he shoved the cat into your arms. “3…2..” “Hey!” A kid yelled from below. The two of you look down and see some little kid. “That was the last limited addition, pink cat stuffed animal.” The kid said in a snobby tone. “Fuck off.” Stone said as he gripped your wrist. “Ready?” Stone turned to you. “Yeah.” You said, nodding. “Mommy! These scraps won’t give me the stuffed animal!” The kid cried, the mom stomped over. “Oh you scraps?! Thinking you can get away with everything!” The mother yelled. “Run!” You yelled as you grabbed Stone’s hand and began to run out of the store, only to be blocked by another person. “You think you can just steal?!”
“Shit..it’s always us.” Stone groaned as he slapped his face. “And yet we always get out of it?” You say as you shoved his shoulder a bit a smirk on your smirk. “You’re reckless.” Stone said as he pulled out a beer bottle from his coat. You took out your lighter and handed it to him. He quickly lit the bottle, threw it, grabbed you, before he jumped out the window.
As you both landed on the side walk, toys landing next to you. The place catches on fire. “..stone what the fuck.” “It was that or we both get stabbed by rich people who can’t even tie their own fucking shoes.” You both didn’t even realize that you two were holding onto to each other. “Gross..” Stone shoved you off, his cheeks only slightly pink. “Let’s go before we get blamed for this.” You said. Stone stood up and held his hand out for him, to which you grab.
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“Wait—so you blew up that toy store for a stuffed animal?!” Vinnie said as she titled her to the side. Stone and you nodded. “..those poor toys..” Skipp signed shaking his head. “It was not worth it.” Stone sighed, glancing over to him. He noticed the small smile on your face has you hugged the stuffed animal cat. “But we got the stolen goods.” Stone said as he passed the bag to Vinnie and Skipp.
To Stone, seeing your smile was the best thing he’d probably seen all day.
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A/n: ok hi again I apologize if this is out of character for him 🤗
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swarvey · 2 months
Note
Can you do bachelor hcs where farmer is like super hurt? Like blood gushing from their abdomen or smth?? Like basically life threatening
when they think you're not going to make it | sdv bachelors x gn!reader
summary -> how some of the boys react to seeing you come out of the mines unconscious with nearly fatal wounds. warnings -> blood and injuries, panic attacks, harsh language
a/n: basically a more severe version of this series lol, i hope you enjoy!!! <3 alex's is probs the longest bc i was inspired heh, i started with alex and shane, but lmk if y'all want more!
alex
feels like his throat is closing in on itself when he sees you all beaten up in harvey's clinic
harvey has to yell at linus to get him out of the room when he keeps trying to reach you
completely panics at the thought of losing you
he just doesn't want to be alone again
it was no secret alex hated hospitals, and harvey's small clinic was no exception. he always tried to leave his appointments with the doctor as soon as he could, and although he would accompany you to yours, he preferred to stand outside until you finished. everything about the environment was too much for him, too painful.
so when linus — the local homeless guy he never really cared to talk to — caught him on the street and practically begged him to go to the clinic, he wasn't entirely convinced. only when your name slipped off his tongue did his eyes widen, his feet moving before his mind could catch up.
alex hated hospitals, and now he had a reason to hate them even more.
"y/n?"
his voice was barely audible as the world around him began to fade, only focusing on your paled face and the blood-soaked bandage wrapped around your torso. his breath got stuck in his chest, and an all too familiar feeling began to swarm him —images of his poor mother laying in a cold hospital bed, monitors beeping rapidly as the doctors failed to save her.
not again. please, not again.
"get him out of here!" harvey demanded, pushing him away from your body. alex blinked, realizing he'd moved past the doctor and was desperately trying to hold onto you. "alex, you have to step away, or else i won't be able to help them."
"stop it, they need me! let me go," he loudly protested. he knew it was childish; he knew he sounded like the same kid he was all those years ago, begging to see his mom one last time, but he didn't care. this was you, and he couldn't lose you. he couldn't lose anyone else.
despite his efforts, alex was swiftly dragged away by linus's unexpected strength. before he knew it, he was standing outside the clinic in the cool evening air, chest heaving as he tried to breathe.
"take some deep breaths," the older man said, somehow sounding level-headed. "it'll be okay."
"the fuck do you know?" alex snapped, voice wavering. "you don't know anything about what it's like, do you? what it's like to lose someone? to watch someone die?" his voice hitched, tears beginning to well in his eyes before spilling down his cheeks. "i can't do this. i-i can't do this again, not again, not after last time — i can't—"
"hey." strong hands planted themselves on his shoulders, and his panicked gaze met linus's kind eyes. "this isn't the first time i've dragged people out of the mines, alright? trust me, i've seen worse. they'll be okay."
"you don't know that," alex replied weakly. "they might not make it."
"they're strong, you know that."
"she was strong, too. my mom was the strongest person on this planet." more tears blurred his vision. "look where she ended up."
linus sighed, dropping his arms. "she was," he agreed, and alex looked up in surprise, "but this is different, alex."
"how do you—"
"alex." he turned, meeting harvey's exhausted smile. "you can come in now." alex nodded, wiping his face with his sleeve and giving linus a a grateful look before walking in.
your face was still pale and you weren't awake, but it was clear you were much better than before. a new, clean bandage covered your abdomen, and an iv was attached to your arm.
alex let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. "so, they'll be okay?" he asked, sitting on the chair beside you.
"yes, with some recovery, of course," harvey said, sounding just as relieved as alex felt. "though, i would strongly advise not letting them go to the mines for a while. an injury like this won't heal quicky, and it will likely scar. please talk to them after they wake."
"got it, doc. seriously, thank you so much." with another smile and a nod, harvey walked to another part of the clinic, leaving alex alone with you. he kept repeating the doctor's words in his head as he grabbed your limp hand, watching your chest fall up and down with each breath. "you'll be okay," he whispered, though it wasn't you he was trying to convince.
as alex drifted off to sleep next to you, he silently reminded himself to stop by linus's tent the following morning.
shane
he usually acts pissed at you whenever you get hurt, but it's only bc he knows you can handle yourself
usually you can, anyway, which is why he's worried when you don't come home when you said you would
he's quick to leave the house and immediately starts looking for you (tries to convince himself you're just running late)
in complete shock when he sees you in dr. harvey's arms as he rushes into the clinic with maru beside him
shane glanced at the clock for the fifth time in the last minute, frown deepening when you still didn't appear in the doorway. he could practically hear you chastising him for being too dramatic, but he didn't care — you'd never been this late before, and a tugging feeling in his gut told him there was something wrong.
swearing under his breath, he threw on his jacket and left the farm, telling himself that you probably just got caught up at the saloon, or maybe you stopped by the community center. then again, you had mentioned you wanted to get back into fishing—
"maru, get the door!"
a cold wave washed over shane's entire body, making him halt mid-step.
all he could focus on was your bloodied face hanging from harvey's arms as he rushed you into the clinic, maru hot on his tail.
for a second, time seemed to stop.
then, he was sprinting to catch the door and run in after them, panicked words spewing from his mouth before he could even process his thoughts.
"what the— what the fuck happened? where did you even—? are they going to be okay, oh shit, are they gonna wake up—"
"shane," harvey gritted out through his teeth, "you need to leave, now."
immediately, shane stood his ground, jaw clenched. "i'm not fuckin' going anywhere, not 'til they're awake."
"shane," the doctor repeated in a softer tone, eyes pleading with him, "i can't work on them with you in the room. this wound is deep — i need to operate, and you can't be here."
"please," maru added quietly, looking more distressed than shane had ever seen the typically laidback girl. "th-they might not make it."
harvey gave her a look, but didn't deny her words. shane felt his stomach drop.
then, wordlessly, he turned and slammed open the door into the waiting room, forcing himself into a seat as he bit back panicked tears. maru's words kept playing back in his head like a broken record, and suddenly, shane realized he might have to face a terrifying world without you in it.
"fuck," he cursed, letting his head fall into his hands to hide the hot tears streaming down his face. at first, he thought he was angry — he always told you to be careful, that you shouldn't be running around so damn carelessly all the time, you're not fuckin' invincible. you never listened, of course, always spewing something stupid about doing what's best for everyone. after hearing that phrase more than a handful of times, shane thought it was pretty reasonable for him to be a little pissed.
in that moment, though, who the hell was he kidding? he was nowhere near pissed; he was scared.
you couldn't die, not yet — not when he just got better, not when he still had so much left to say to you. the thought of never being able to see your smile again made him nauseous, and he wished he could rewind back to the morning so he could tug you back into bed with him. stay, he would say. you're not leaving my side today, alright?
he knew it wouldn't have worked. he would still try, though.
shane didn't realize how long he stayed in the same position until the waiting room doors creaked open, his head shooting up at the sound. harvey greeted him with a nod, which he returned stiffly as he stood up.
"d-did everything go okay?" he asked, swallowing in an attempt to soothe his rough voice. "are they—?"
"they're fine," harvey replied, a small smile upturning his lips at the sound of shane's relieved swears.
"thank fuck, i don't know what i would've— it doesn't matter, can i come in?" he barely waited for a response before slipping past the doctor and finding your bed.
he caught maru on her way out, giving her another nod. she smiled, wider than harvey's, before making her way to the other room.
shane hesitantly grabbed your hand as he sat down in the chair beside you, scared he might break you if he held you too roughly. when you didn't stir, he laced his fingers with yours and held them to his forehead, pressing a firm kiss to the back of your hand.
"you scared the shit out of me," he sighed, shaking his head. "god, i don't know what i would've done if you— if i couldn't—" he couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence, resorting to giving your hand another kiss. "you better wake up, you hear me? i'll fuckin' kill you if you don't." he half expected you to answer. he could hear your voice in his head telling him to stop acting so tough, that you could see right through him.
instead, the sound of your steady breaths filled the room, and even then, shane felt like that was your way of telling him everything would be okay.
338 notes · View notes
pedrospatch · 5 months
Text
more hearts than mine
Frankie Morales x Female Reader
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summary: Frankie promises you he’s not going anywhere.
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. no physical description of reader, no mention of her age, reader has both of her parents, reader has a little sister (15 and unnamed), reader has a close relationship with her family (cannot say i am writing this from experience oop), reader is from a small, unnamed town somewhere in the midwest (state not specified), established relationship, mention of ex-boyfriend, mentions of alcohol consumption, reassurance, fluff, smutty themes towards the end but no smut.
word count: 2k
a/n: this was not planned and very spur of the moment. i think i needed a palette cleanse from writing so much joel. it’s my first time writing for frankie but i like the way it turned out. <3 i it’s 3 am, i wrote this in an hour and it is not proofread, so please excuse any errors. this is based on a song called more hearts than mine by ingrid andress.
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“It’s late,” you worry. “Where could they be?”
Amused, your mother watches you anxiously pace back and forth in front of the dining room table. “My darling, can you please relax? They probably hit some traffic on their way back home from the lake. I bet you anything those two will be walking through the front door any second now,” she assures you. At that precise moment, her cell phone vibrates on the table, the loud buzzing noise garnering her attention. She picks it up and raises her eyebrows in complete surprise. “Oh. Or maybe not. Your father just texted me and said they’re stopping for a couple of drinks at the bar. He says not to wait up for them.”
Halting mid pace, you whirl around and stare at her. 
“You’re kidding?”
“Nope.” She shows you the text. “See?”
“Jesus,” you mutter. Shaking your head, you drop down into the chair across from hers.
“That’s a pretty good sign. Don’t you think so, honey?”
It is because your father taking your boyfriend out on a fishing trip and then taking him to his favorite bar for drinks afterwards means that their time alone together has gone well. But, even though your father had clearly taken a liking to him, he won’t ever show it. Sure, he’ll buy him dinner and he’ll buy him drinks, he’ll check his tires and take a look underneath the hood of his pickup truck to make sure everything looks good, but he’ll do it with a scowl on his face and a standoffish attitude.
“He hates me, baby. Your old man hates me,” Frankie declared after his first dinner with your family. You had both arrived in your hometown that same evening after a gruelling, sixteen hour drive to the midwest. Despite being exhausted from the trip, he’d put his best foot forward for them—he’d charmed your mother and your little sister, had them both wrapped around his finger by the time dessert had been served. But your father, oh he had been much harder for him to win over. “He barely said two words to me all night.”
“My dad doesn’t hate you,” you swore to him, rubbing a soft, soothing circle into his broad back. “Do you want to know how I know that?”
“How?”
“Because he poured you a drink.”
He’d snorted. “What, and that means he likes me?”
“Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves,” you joked with a giggle. “It’s still too early to tell if he likes you. But one thing is for sure, he doesn’t hate you. He doesn’t break out a bottle of whiskey for someone he hates, Frankie.”
Sighing, you lift your legs, pulling your knees up to your chest.
Poor Frankie. He’s probably spent the better part of the whole day just trying to figure him out.
“I like him,” your mother says after a minute. “I like him a lot.”
“What a coincidence,” you grin. “I like him a lot too.”
She laughs. “I’m serious! He’s incredible, darling. He is so handsome. He’s sweet. Seems like he’s got a really good head on his shoulders—”
“Are we talking about Francisco?” Your sister walks into the dining room with can of Dr. Pepper in one hand and her cell phone in the other.
“As a matter of fact, we are.” Your mother smiles. “Isn’t he great?”
“He’s kinda perfect, actually.” She takes a casual sip of her soda and raises an eyebrow at you. “I have to admit though, I’m afraid to get attached to Frankie. You know, after what happened with Jake—”
You wince at the mention of your ex-boyfriend’s name.
Your mother hisses her name, angrily.
“I’m just saying! When he broke up with you, it’s like he broke up with all of us. It sucked.” She shrugs, adding, “I mean, even dad was sad about it for months. Wasn’t he, mom?”
“Don’t you have a paper to write?” Your mother glares at her.
Your sister starts towards the staircase, but stops and glances over her shoulder. “I like Frankie,” she tells you, smiling wryly. “And I really hope he sticks around.” With that, she disappears upstairs.
Sighing heavily, your mom turns to you. “Don’t listen to her. She’s only fifteen, she doesn’t know any better. She doesn’t understand what happened—”
Pushing away from the table, you stand up. 
“I’m going to take a walk,” you murmur. “I need some fresh air.”
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“Hermosa?”
You stir at the sound of Frankie’s voice.
“Baby. Hey. Wake up.”
“Mm?” you mumble sleepily. “Frankie, what are—ow!”
You groan when he switches on the lamp on the beside table. Rolling over, you bury your face into your pillow.
“Sorry,” he apologizes, chuckling softly. The twin sized mattress squeaks, dipping as he somehow squeezes himself beside you on your childhood bed. He’s staying in the guest room down the hallway—you parents, who were incredibly old school, had insisted the two of you sleep in separate bedrooms during your stay. Draping his arm around you, he leans down and nuzzles into the side of your face. Even with your nose buried in your pillow, you pick up the scent of sunscreen mingled with beer. “Just wanted to tell you I’m back home.”
Lifting your head, you blink furiously until your blurred vision stabilizes.
“What—what time is it?”
“Eleven.” Frankie’s cheeks and nose are red, sunburned from having been out on your dad’s boat all afternoon. You’re willing to bet he’d forgotten to put the sunscreen on his face. Even though you’d warned him a hundred times not to forget.
“What?” You sit up, prompting him to do the same. “It’s eleven and you only now just got back?”
“Your old man took me to Gordon’s,” Frankie explains, referring to one of the only few bars your small town had to offer. It was the place where you would meet with your old high school friends to catch up with each other whenever you were home visiting. At some point this week, you would be sitting in a booth at that old bar with them, introducing Frankie, and squirming when they began to tell him embarrassing stories of all those crazy nights from your senior year. “We went in with plans to have a couple beers before coming home, but then we ran into some of his buddies there. He introduced me, they bought us more drinks, and we played a game of pool. Your dad whooped my ass, of course.”
“How did fishing go?”
“Great. Y’know, once he stopped looking at me like he wanted to throw me overboard.”
You let out an amused huff. “He would never.”
“I don’t know. That man is pretty hard to read.” Frankie reaches for your hand, lacing your fingers together. “One minute we’d be talking, shooting the shit while we waited for the fish to bite, and the next he would look at me like he was seriously thinking about pushing me off his boat and into the water.” He squeezes your hand, a deep laugh rumbling through his chest. “I spent all goddamn day with him and I still can’t tell if he likes me yet or not.”
Lifting his hand, you press a tender kiss to the back of it, a sweet token of affection.
“He likes you, Frankie,” you murmur against his skin. “I know it. My whole family likes you. Except my mom—”
He stiffens. “What?”
“She loves you.”
Frankie turns to you. Despite your smile, he can see the hint of concern in your eyes. “Baby, what’s the matter?”
You hesitate.
After what your sister had said earlier that evening, you couldn’t help but wonder if you’d made a mistake and brought him home too soon. You and Frankie had been together for about six months now, and besides having a drawer of your things at his place for when you stayed overnight, you two hadn’t really sat down to talk about what the next step in your relationship would be—you and Frankie hadn’t discussed the possibility of a future together. Truth be told, you had never felt the need to question him about where this was heading. You’d been perfectly content in allowing things to unfold between you without putting any kind of pressure on yourself, or on him. At least, up until now, you had been content.
You’d been silly to think bringing Frankie home to meet your family wouldn’t be all that big of a deal, that it wouldn’t make you consider what came next. But you had forgotten how easily your mother falls in love, how quickly your little sister can form an attachment, and how your father, despite being rough around the edges, feels every heartache you go through as if it’s his own.
You think back to when your previous relationship went down in flames, you remember the helpless look on your father’s face whenever he would see you crying. “I never liked him,” he’d said, pouring himself a glass of whiskey over ice. But that had been a lie. He’d seen him as the son he never had. He lost something, too. Your whole family had to heal from that loss along with you.
Part of you is afraid that it could happen again.
“Amor?”
Frankie’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts.
“What is it? What’s wrong?”
You glance down at your hand in his. “Frankie, the last thing I want to do is scare you off,” you start to say, a nervous edge to your tone. “Or put any kind of pressure on you to give me anything more than what you have already given me. But now that you’ve met my family, I can’t help but worry a little bit.”
He frowns. “What are you worried about?”
Sighing, you confess, “My last relationship—it didn’t end very well, Frankie. My family loved him, adored him the way I can see they’re already starting to adore you. When he broke up with me, he broke more hearts than just mine.” You force yourself to look up, and meet his gaze with a wistful smile. “I guess there’s a part of me that’s scared it’ll happen again.”
Frankie’s dark brown eyes soften. “Oh baby, there’s no need to be scared. That’s never gonna happen.”
“How can you be so sure it’ll never happen?”
“Easy, because I love you. And I know you love me.” He reaches over with his free hand and he cups the side of your face, his thumb grazing over the soft skin of your cheekbone. “I’m in this for the long haul. I wouldn’t have driven sixteen hours across the country with you to come meet your family if I wasn’t. I’m serious about you—I’m serious about us, baby.”
Frankie leans in, gently pressing his mouth to yours in a chaste, but sweet kiss.
“Do you wanna know what I see when I look at you?” he mumbles against your lips.
“What do you see?”
“Mi futuro,” he tells you. “I see my future.”
Warmth blossoms in your chest. “You do?”
“I do. Believe me, I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me, and so is your family,” Frankie grins. “Your dad is gonna have plenty of opportunities to contemplate throwing me off his boat and into the lake.”
You giggle as he kisses you again before trailing his lips down to your neck. “Frankie,” you say his name warningly as he pushes you onto your back. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing,” he says innocently, positioning himself on top of you. He plants his hands on either side of your head and dips his head, nipping lightly at the tender flesh over your pulse point. “How thin are these walls?”
“Francisco Morales, no, you are not fucking me in my parent’s house, not in my childhood bedroom—”
His bulge brushes against your thigh and you gasp.
“Guess I’ll head back to the guest room, then,” Frankie murmurs, feathering one last kiss onto your neck.
He starts to climb off of you and your hands shoot out, curling around fistfuls of his shirt to stop him.
“I can be quiet,” you whisper, biting your bottom lip. You take one of his hands and guide it underneath the hem of the oversized t-shirt you’re wearing to the apex of your thighs. “Can you?”
“Hermosa,” Frankie groans, running a finger along the damp cotton of your panties. He slips it beneath the fabric, his blood rushing south when he meets your slick folds. “God, I fucking hope so, or else I’ll actually end up at the bottom of that fucking lake.”
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divider credit to @saradika 🤍
386 notes · View notes
teamblck · 7 months
Text
the 141 as dads
captain john price-
• this man is would be such a good dad
• we all know for a fact this man has a breeding kink so i see him having like 3/4 kids
• waking up early in the morning and eating bowls of cereal watching old cartoon re runs with them
• would start smoking outside or exclusively in his office because he doesn’t want that around them
• type of dad in his retirement to coach his kids football/soccer team
• the best for laying the child on his chest, humming as they fall asleep
• would be super interested in what his children’s interest are (this goes for all of them but i’m putting it here)
• takes his kids on camping and fishings trips
• loves to play hide-n-seek with his kids
• his kids would mock his actions and stand in front of the tv with his hands behind his back, and when they are napping on the couch his kid would also start snoring cause we all know this man snores LOUDLY
• type of dad whenever his kids mention they like eating something once he buys like 5 boxes of it
• would cry they say their first word no matter what is is
• loves taking them to the park
kyle ‘gaz’ garrick-
• okay literally the best dad ever
• i could see him with like 2 or 3 kids
• MATCHING OUTFITS
• if he had girls he would 1000% learn all kind of cute braid styles for them
• when he found out his spouse was pregnant he would be shocked but happy and would immediately buy 100 what to expect when you’re expecting books
• would hate when he kids got into trouble cause he would hate laying the law down but would sit them down and talk every calm but firm
• then would go into another room and be like 🥺
• would NEVER get angry with his kids
• all the mothers would flirt with him in the pickup line at school and he just ignores it
• he thinks his children deserve the entire world
• his kids call Price grandpa
• will blow raspberries on their stomachs until they they can’t stop giggling
• takes 1000 photos of his kids doing anything and then spam sends them to his spouse
• got so nauseous the first time he changed a diaper
• family halloween outfits
john ‘soap’ mactavish-
• such a fun dad
•pillow forts
• ice cream for breakfast
• if he had a son/sons he would cut their hair in the mohawk style as well
• would want so many children omg
• he comes from a big family so i think he would want one as well
• but if his spouse didn’t want a big family he would be okay with it
• if you’ve watched modern family he would be like phil dunphy
• would put his kids on those kid leashes whenever they go anywhere
• i feel like one thing he would struggle with is saying no to his children
• would always help them with their math and science homework
• type of dad to do push ups while his kids are sitting in his back and they are all giggling
• the proudest dad ever! is at every dance recital or sports game or talent show and if he can’t be (because of his job) he would ask all about it when he got home and even if they did poorly he would still tell them how proud of them he is and go her ice cream
•TICKLE FIGHTS
• it would also tear him up if couldn’t be there during a special event for his children
• i also feel like he would cry at major life milestones
• if his children/kid are into sports all you can hear at games is him yelling across the field
simon ‘ghost’ riley-
• GIRL DAD SIMON GIRL DAD SIMON GIRL DAD SIMON
• just imagine him with a pink baby holder strapped to his chest
• he would be such a good father omg
• with his past with his father he would be super scared at first but then as he’s holding this tiny infant he would get angry (not at child obviously) cause how could anyone treat their child the way his father treated him?
• would be super protective of his children (i mean all of them would tbh)
• as cute as it is for the baby to wear little skull head clothing, i don’t think he would want his children knowing ‘Ghost’.
• i think one thing he would struggle with is when his kids throw tantrums when it’s over something ridiculous like he wouldn’t let them pull their siblings hair or eat something gross off the floor and he doesn’t know how to deal with them. he doesn’t want to get to firm and scare them and he doesn’t want to give into such ridiculous things so he would kinda back away and look at you for help
• his kids would 1000% get his accent
• loves to lift them up with his arms, whooshing them around like they are a super hero
• has tea parties with his kids and their stuffed animals on a regular basis
• such a big softie for his children/child are you kidding me
• his children/kid use him as like a jungle gym and are usually hanging off his arms
• would never tell them what he does for work and when they ask he would just say ‘work’
i would give any of these men children or all of them
let me know if you have any feedback!!
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artdcnaldson · 1 month
Note
I have some fluffy fuzzy thoughts to share... I feel like Patrick is one of those people that babies just unexpectedly LOVE
Like imagine he's at a gathering with Art's family and someone asks him to hold their very new, very small, very breakable baby while they're in the bathroom.
Patrick freaks out expecting high pitched wails and a lifetime ban from Donaldson family BBQs.
But turns out his big strong hands are good for holding little people as well as rackets...
ohhhh <3 this is so, so important to me <3
Because Patrick is the type to loudly and frequently say he hates kids. His experience with children comes down to his older brother's hellspawn that make the pretty young au pairs he hires gray prematurely. Nasty, dirty, loud, annoying, persistent. The kind of kids that need to be told No, but never are.
Art's family is different. It takes a village, and all that. His cousin Beth is a teen mom, with a cute, fat little baby that has the same blonde curls as its mother. It has two front teeth already, a gummy little smile when Art's grandmother feeds it bites of some tater tot hotdish that would send Patrick's bubbe into cardiac arrest.
Art happily holds the baby in his arms and he seems comfortable enough. There are so many young kids running around that Patrick figures he has experience with that sort of thing. In his eighteen years of life, Patrick has managed to hold one baby, at age fourteen, when his older brother had his first kid.
The baby blinks up at him, its eyes wide and brown like Beth's are. Beth— who's off making fruit salad and dumped her kid into the first pair of open arms she could find. It's outfit is stupid— a little set of overalls with pockets that have muppets sticking out. What the fuck do babies need pockets for?
"It keeps staring at me," he complains, trying to move in front of Art to break the creepy eye contact, which doesn't work.
"Stop calling him it," Art insists, face twisting with annoyance as he bounces the baby in his arms. "His name is Noah."
Patrick sighs. "Noah won't stop staring at me. It's freaking me out, so make him stop."
Art laughs at that, grinning in that annoying way he does when he thinks he knows what Patrick's thinking. So what if most of the time he does? "What? He's a baby, I can't just make him stop. You're being weird."
No. Weird was the way that Art's family acted. He knew the detachment in his family wasn't normal, but the closeness, the joking, the passing babies and kids and hugging was weird. It was weird that they had potlucks where they would eat servings of each dish and smile even if it tasted really bad. It was weird that Art's other cousin, George, stood up with his wife and proudly announced they were trying for a baby. For all the Zweig's knew, babies arrived in cashmere swaddles carried by some endangered species of bird.
"I have to pee, dude, just hold him for a sec—" Art says suddenly, and before Patrick can do anything, the baby is shoved into his arms. It— he— is heavier than Patrick expects, so dense for something so small.
"Art—" He whisper-yells, but Art's already darting away, leaving Patrick to awkwardly cradle the baby to his chest.
Noah babbles as Patrick swears under his breath. No one seems to look his way— it's too loud for anyone to really care. Beth at least glances over to check on her kid, sees a yawning Noah being bounced in Patrick's arms. He thinks he gives a help me expression, but it's ignored.
Noah likes him. He rests his chubby little face on Patrick's Hollister polo and babbles contentedly once Patrick manages to nervously walk across the room and settle on an old, sunken in leather couch.
Tentatively, Patrick reaches out, lets the baby wrap his hand around his index finger. Noah yawns, his little face wrinkling and scrunching as he gets comfortable. The baby is asleep on Patrick's chest by the time Art returns.
The blond grins as he sinks onto the couch beside him, holding out a plate of baked goods. "Hungry?"
"I can't move," Patrick whispers. "He's knocked out, dude."
Art lifts a marshmallow lucky charms bar to Patrick's mouth and lets the other boy take a bite. "You're good with kids. Girls think that's hot."
"Shut the fuck up."
194 notes · View notes
twobluejeans · 1 year
Text
HEARTBREAK ON TOUR!
charles leclerc x famous!reader
summary: in which the lavender haze has been lifted. or in which america’s it couple splits.
part 7: revenge dress, part 6: reckless, part 5: relevancy, part 4: emo ponytail girl, part 3: dupeee, part 2:wtf does ET know?, part 1: don’t start
faceclaim: madison beer
ally’s radio 📻: PART 7! bc why did this take me 2 days to make. da faq. a lot of tswift references 🫶
INSTAGRAM, july 15
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liked by harrystyles, austinbutler, and 26,955,959 others
yourinstagram and by the way, i’m going out tonight.
View all 357,728 comments
sabrinacapenter R U KIDDING ME???
badgalriri go bad bitch go bad bitch go
1dstyles.harry harry i see u lurking 👀
user1 she don’t know she need me yet
arianagrande MOTHER IS MOTHERING
barbie this barbie is THAT GIRL
leclerc_pascale Beautiful Girl!❤️
yourinstagram leclerc_pascale thank you ❤️
alexademie 😍😍
user2 they won’t love you like i would
omarapollo come home the kids miss u
y/nsdeadreputaion i know charles is crying in the corner rn
(landonorris liked this comment !)
danielricciardo May God bless the dinosaur that died to make the fossil fuel that was treated to become petrol in the car that took your mom to hospital to give birth to you
yourinstagram danielriccoardo i hate you 😭💀
danielricciardo yourinstagram Don’t lie, You know you love me
fernandoalonso_offical danielricciardo No. Stop it.
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written by Ally
July 15,2023 AT 1:30PM
Y/n L/n is rarely seen walking the streets in public anymore, but that is changing following her recent breakup  from longtime love Charles Leclerc.
The 12-time Grammy winner was spotted out and about in Rome just one day after her release of her new single, Reckless, which reflects on her past relationship with the formula 1 driver.
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L/n was joined by celebs friends Zendaya, Tom Holland, Sabrina Carpenter, Bella Hadid, and Alexa Demie for a night out at Shari Vari Play House in Vía de' Nari, Italy. 
The news of her breakup sent shockwaves on social media. Tweets and memes were made, with fans expressing their disbelief and grief
Rumors had already spread that Leclerc was seeing someone else the last few months of thosr relationship. L/n just made those rumors  official last night as she delivered a tribute to  Leclerc and his new girlfriend Australian Youtuber Lola Ransdell, sending the media to a frenzy. 
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The “Karma” hitmaker opted for a dress from Mônot’s SS22 collection, a black dress with cutouts across the chest and stomach, leaving little fabric between L/n’s collarbone and lower waist.
People on twitter are already calling this “Y/n L/n’s Revenge Dress Era” . 
"Not @Y/nL/n wearing Y/n’s Version of 'the revenge dress'," one fan posted.
The ultimate revenge dress is, of course, the off-the-shoulder black Christina Stambolian dress that Princess Diana wore while her former husband then-Prince Charles was admitting to an affair with current Queen Consort Camilla.
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Diana, Princess of Wales attends the Vanity Fair party at the Serpentine Gallery on November 20, 1994 Anwar Hussein
L/n kicked off her sold-out Eras Tour on March 17, and eagle-eyed fans noticed that Leclerc had been absent from her shows.
In case you're unfamiliar with the lore of YourShipName (portmanteau and couple name of L/n and Leclerc), you probably don't understand the distress caused by the news. For most, Leclerc is not even a household name, but for YourFandomsName, he's the titular Lover.
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via @yourinstagram in a now deleted instagram post
The Midnights singer and  f1 driver started dating in 2016. Fans speculate they met at the 2016 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix based on the lyrics of Reputation cut "Dress": "Flashback to when you met me / Your buzzcut and my hair bleached." Because, you guessed it, Leclerc sported a buzzcut and L/n’s hair was bleached.
At a secret session for Reputation, Leclerc reportedly told fans that the single "Gorgeous" was about her "angel boyfriend of one year." Other tracks off of Reputation like “Delicate," "Call It What You Want," and "King Of My Heart" are also thought to be about Leclerc.
Her next album, Lover, is also understood to be about Leclerc with songs like "Paper Rings," "Cornelia Street," "Daylight," and the titular "Lover."
During quarantine the couple started collaborating creatively. Leclerc surpassed his muse status and co-wrote Folklore tracks "Exile" and "Betty,"
 Evermore songs "Champagne Problems" and "Coney Island, and most recently, "Sweet Nothing" off Midnights. Other tracks on her most recent three albums canonically about Leclerc include: "Invisible String" and "Peace."
While they opted to remain very private about their romance, the couple was hit with a slew of engagement rumors throughout the course of their ill-fated romance.
"I'm aware people want to know about that side of things," Leclerc told GQ in 2018. "I think we have been successfully very private and that has now sunk in for people."
L/n briefly touched on the privacy aspect of their relationship in her 2020 documentary, "Miss Americana."
"We decided together we wanted our relationship to be private," she said. "Even though [my public image in 2016] was really horrible, I was happy."
"But I wasn't happy in the way I was trained to be happy. It was happiness without anyone else's input. We were just... happy," the singer added.
The "Lavender Haze" songstress' exes famously include Leonardo DiCaprio, Robert Pattinson, Fabian Frankel, Ben Barnes, Harry Styles, and Aaron Taylor-Johnson. 
SEE MORE RELATED POSTS:
• From Y/n L/n and Charles Leclerc to Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello, Here are all the Celebirty breakups of 2023…So far
• Leonardo DiCaprio, Gigi Hadid Are 'Definitely Dating' (Exclusive Source)
• Carlos Sainz Shares his thoughts on YourShipName’s Breakup
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TWITTER, july 15
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INSTAGRAM, july 15
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liked by kendalljenner, haileybieber, and 2,674,123 others
lolaaransdell_ couldn’t be bothered
View all 32,177 comments
user5 someone pls take away her phone i’m so serious
y/nsleclerc god has lots of favorites🥰💞🧚🏽you’re not one of them🥺💘💘
haileybieber the hottest ❤️❤️
badgerdannyricc you hit different 😍when you’re not on my screen 🧚‍♀️💞✨
cillianmurphyfineaf u killed this 💞🦋!🧚🏽now do the same for urself🙈🥰⚡️
charles16_leclerc this is just embarrassing stop
auzziericciardo i don’t like you but ur blush and highlight looks really good
norissxricciardo my daughter said she loved your videos! 😩💗✨ so i put her up for adoption 😽☁️🌺
INSTAGRAM STORIES, july 16
yourinstagram 4h
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viewed by michaelbjordan, lilyrose_depp, and 2,042,828 others
INSTAGRAM, july 16
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liked by landonorris, jacobelordi, and 8,667,214 others
yourinstagram it feels like a perfect night to dress up like hipsters & make fun of our exes.
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cinnamongirldelrey oh this is iconic.
queensel the reunion we needed
argentinastyles stop i love selena and y/n together
parisy/n THE CAPTION LMFAOAKSKHDH
charlottesiine Angel sisters for life!!!
yourinstagram charlottesiine my queen i love you!
jarofheartsy/n wait i’m confused who’s the girl on the last pic?
ciney/n jarofheartsy/n charlotte sine, charles’s ex gf 💀
TWITTER, july 16
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ally’s radio 📻: DON’T U LOVE WHEN WOMEN. guys im stuck on who to choose for y/n’s next boo. like. so stuck. THIS CAN GO LIKE FOUR WAYS. WE HAVE FOUR OPTIONS AND I KINDA WANNA LET U GUYS PICK BUT ALSO NEED TO KEEP YALL IN SUSPENSE SO LIKE😭 SHARE WITH ME UR THOUGHTS PLS. also, i think i might start a danny ric fanfic next bc that’s bbg.
taglist 🦢🪩: @incoherenciass@dakotali@405rry@topaz125@sassyheroneckgiant@hevburn@itsmytimetoodream@ivegotparticulartaste@crowdedimagines @asterianax @haydee5010@scenesofobx@christinabae@magical-spit@dessxoxsworld@myareadsbooks@honethatty12@hopefulinlove@diasnohibng@gentlemonsterjennie1@hummusxx@eugene-emt-roe@taestrwbrry @perjarma @cxcewg@chimchimjiminie16@glow-ish@allywthsr @millyswife @mrsmaybank13 @black-swan-blog27 @stargaryenx @lilsiz @ohthemisssery @leclerclvr @slytherinjimin3nthusiast @shessthunderstoms @cool-ultra-nerd @ncentic @playboykenz @canvashearts @tinyhrry @xeliaaaa @ifionlywould @gaviypedrisbride @callsignwindow @dhhdhsiavdhaj @chasing-liberosis @laneyspaulding19
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yannaryartside · 5 months
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CARMY NEVER WANTED TO CREATE A MENU WITH SYD.
AND WHY THAT IS THE CORE THEME OF THE SHOW
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PART 1: THE LIE THAT CARMY BELIEVES
So, one of the bases of creating an efficient character arc is to give the character something they want, and something they need. In the pursuit of getting what they want, the theme of the show and obstacles will show them what they need. Most of the time, they need healing from an emotional wound that prevents them from growing into the ultimate version of themselves, capable of winning the challenges of the story. I will try to explore Carmy's wound and, more importantly, the lie that created that wound.
In 'The negative trait thesaurus" by Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi, it reads:
"Wounds are often kept secret from others because embedded within them is the lie-an untruth that the character believes about himself."
When I started therapy (disclaimer: this is not professional advice; I am just talking from how I interpreted all of this), I was introduced to the concept of "limiting beliefs:" lies we have told ourselves about our own nature or the nature of the world. The most difficult beliefs to leave behind are those established in our early childhoods, and we told ourselves those lies to make sense of the world, to make peace with realities we were not equipped to comprehend yet. 
Some examples of lies people belive:
"I am too stupid to learn anything; my teacher said so" "It was my fault that I was molested." "I am a bad person for wanting a different life."
When people believe these lies, they will act accordingly, maybe attracting situations that hurt them but keeping the lie active in their lives. They may self-sabotage or create bonds with people who also believe the lie, even if it doesn't seem this way. 
In some cases, people may develop complete personalities or behaviors to prove the lie wrong, but deep down, they still believe in the lie. Carmy falls into this last category. This is where we find the most contradictory parts of his personality, how he can act shy and insecure in some instances and appear confident and even aggressive in others. 
Long post underneath.
THE RESENT OF A MOTHER:
We can only assume here because I think Storer is gonna let us know more about this soon, but I think I got an idea of this wound when I saw the only moment Carmy was alone with Donna on "Fishes."
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I have a lot of things to say about Donna herself, but let's begin with the obvious: the conversation in this scene had little to do with the dinner itself. This was a woman stating that she felt alone and not valued, probably due to being abandoned by her husband and having to overwork herself at the beef to support her 3 kids, all while being a single mother. We don't know if this feeling of abandonment is something she has carried since childhood, but in the state of current womanhood, it wouldn't be uncommon. The work of women (especially mothers), particularly the emotional labor, is rather invisible and not valued at all.
But again, this is something she has used as fuel to resent her kids, who, at the end of the day, didn't ask to be here. Her anger has to go somewhere since she cannot direct it toward the people that ctually caused it. To get to the point:
THE BEARZATTO SYBLING DYNAMIC
Carmy said, "You are not alone; I am here with you." (This kind of comes back to telling Syd she was not alone at the end of the season.) This scene is about a kid trying to communicate to his mother that he loves her and trying desperately to connect with her, to get her to express her affection for him as well.
It tells me that growing up, he felt like he had to "earn" her affection. Donna likes to make her kids feel guilty about her unhappiness, so the kids feel that they are constantly walking on shells because they think their mother hates them, or at least that she resents them and that it is their responsibility to fix it.
In the scene, Carmy asked,
"What is so hard, Mom?"
I think what he was actually asking is, "What is so hard about being with us, to love us? What did we do to you that made you resent us this way?" He is asking because he wants to know, to finally understand. Why do you drink, Mom? Why do you yell? Why do you say such hurtful things?
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When she answers, "Nobody makes things beautiful for me," you can see in his face the disconnection. He knows he can't do anything about that.
Then, a crucial part in the scene occurs when Donna calls him "Michael, " which indicates that the only one of her children who could make her feel happy was Michael, or at least that is how the other two kids felt. You can see the hurt in Carmy's eyes in the scene because this answer dismisses his effort to connect to his mother in his own right. She asks him to just leave. He offers to wait to connect with her. Then, it comes to the most chilling moment on the scene, the "we have a problem" using his full name, with resentment in every word. She hugs him while crying, kisses him, and then slaps him.
This is rejection. There is a book called "The Five Wounds of the Soul": wich are Rejection, Abandonment, Humiliation, Betrayal, and Injustice. I think Carmy's wound is rejection, for never earning his mother's love, particularly comparing himself to Michael.
Michael took responsibility for the Beef, finally giving their mom a break. It was Michael's job to make sure everyone was having a good time, to compensate for the discomfort that caused being in Donna's presence, to make sure all of them stayed as a family, which was Donna's intention, so Michael thought he had to make that happen for her. Therefore, Michael is the only one of her kids who succeeds and makes her happy. We know Donna rejects Natalie and Carmy. About Natalie, we can write another whole essay.
THE LIE THAT CARMY BELIVES
According to this scene, I think Carmy thinks that her mother didn't love him because he is not Michael; in fact, he is the most "not like Michael" someone could be. He was shy and stuttered and didn't have friends or girlfriends, comparable to Michael's ability to control every room he was in. Carmy was sensible and no macho alfa as Michael presented himself to be. Carmy left home and the family business, and both Michael and Donna expressed that they feel like he thinks he is better than them. Michael admitted later to admiring Carmy's work in Copenhagen, but Donna never did. carmy grew up having to live with the crumbles of Donna's attention that Michael left behind, wondering every day what was so wrong with him that made her reject him, and wondering what he could do to change that.
The lie that Carmy belives, could be sumarize this way:
I need to earn people's love. I need to always go the extra mile, doing the most possible at all times to earn people's love.
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This all goes back to his trauma with Michael. It goes back to his career as a chef and how he became the best. He didn't need to succeed on a larger scale in the culinary industry to earn Michael's respect and love; he needed to be the best in the world, so he did that. He judges his own social abilities, comparing them to Miachae's. He left that promising career only because of Michae's death. He got the girlfriend Michael wanted for him (not saying it was the only reason, but it was there).
PART 2: WHAT DOES ALL OF THIS HAD TO DO WITH SYDNEY?
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Well, what does a person who feels they always need to do the most? They do the most. I want to bring you back to the moments Carmy had to develop menu ideas with Syd on s1 and s2.
When Syd suggested items for the menu in s1, he gave her an inconclusive, not enthusiastic "maybe."
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When she had to actually cook the thing for him to approve, he tried to make her feel small about it. He felt the need to remind her that she was "impatient and green," according to her previous bosses. He commented about her possibly ruining the flow by using time to cook her recipe. Yikes all around, but the core here is that he was treating her like an enemy, like competition, while she was trying to save the restaurant with what they had on hand to use the most efficient solution.
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Then, when Carmy tries the dish and feels stunned by it, he has to make an ambiguous excuse on the fly and just finishes every chance of them using the recipe by saying, "is not ready yet"
And what does he do next? He goes to show the crew a recipe that is extremely complicated for the level they are operating at currently—they said so themselves. I think the recipe is a variation of Donna's butter chicken recipe. To put a nail on that coffin of his intentions to earn her love and approval at the end of it all.
But why does he do all this? Because he needs to be the hero, subconsciously, he is still that small kid begging for acceptance and love; he must go the extra mile. He cannot accept Sydney's help and partnership, because that will take away from him earning what he wants on his own merit.
In S2, he seems unenthusiastic about starting the menu in the first place. Then Claire comes along, and he tries to make it work with Syd and the menu, but I think he subconsciously thanks the universe for not having to go to his core wound. That is what self-sabotage is. That is why he bailed on the food tour with Syd, using such a stupid excuse as helping somebody else move out and never mentioning it again. He never asked her what she liked or what ideas she thought of. For most of the creative process, Syd is alone, working on her own creative crisis. The menu ends up being like two recipes they made in collaboration and then all of his family's traditional recipes. It is two of Syd's recipes and the rest of Carmy's. Then, desserts Marcus did on his own. The collaboration was superficial at best.
All of this creates the core theme of the show. The Bear was once a chaotic place (like their childhood home) that needs to evolve into an efficient, peaceful place built on love, support, and mutual collaboration like a functional family should be. Sydney is the member of this found family that forces Carmy to confront his core wound and learn he can actually be good enough while still accepting help. Therapy probably will play an important part in this theme, alongside with Carmy learning there was nothing wrong with him in the first place, that earning your parent's love is not something a kid can do.
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Thankyou for reading. Gif and images are not mine.
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aphroditesmoon · 7 months
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lacrymosa [part 1]
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clarisse la rue x fem!hecatecabin!reader [boarding school au]
PART 2
summary: you were sent to a prestigious boarding school to be rid from your father as a burden, but when strange things begins to happen upon your arrival, you wonder what truly lies behind the school walls. And as you attract attention from an infamous student, your plans to lie low is disrupted for the semester.
warnings: basically pjo plot in a different font, wlw relationships and what that entails, artist!reader. warnings will be according to the chapter.
wc: 5.2k
a/n: part 2 will hv more clarisse, also I've never been good at finishing series, but here's to an attempt! Comment if you'd like to be added to the taglist!
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The violent wind coming from outside of the car window sent a sharp shiver down your spine. You readjust your sitting position, pushing your school bag further away from you.
"Would you like to close the window, miss?" The driver asked, sparing a glance to your way. "No, it's fine." You assured him.
You have always liked the cold, it calms your nerves in a way. And for a day like this, you need all the help you can get.
Your father hadn't even been home to see you off for the last time. But you were kind of grateful for that. Usually you'd find it upsetting. But it was a clear decision that he purposely wanted you out of his line of vision when he had registered you into this boarding school.
Prestigious and highly acclaimed, he called it. Those were just polite words for strict and overbearing.
You have stopped wasting time trying to figure out why he hates you. Your mother dying from your birth was only the tip of the iceberg. Your whole existence is a burden to him, no matter how hard you've tried to change it.
I wonder if I'll even miss the hostility he's always given me, or the empty white walls of his mansions that have seen me at my worst and at my best. Those thoughts shouldn't matter anymore, you told yourself.
You've never been happy in that house, but familiarity, sometimes, was better than nothing. You fiddled with your crimson red tie that came with the uniform. What you could tell from the way you're dressed along with the down payment your father had to pay for you is that this place is an exaggerated babysitting place for rich kids with attitude problems.
You've been sent to many places away from your father. Summer camp, Spring camp, summer school and all that. But nothing this far away.
As per your research, the school seemed to be located far from the city and near the mountains up north. There are two buildings divided by gender that stands a few meters away from each other. Not that it'd be a problem for you. You've never been interested in boys much.
It was sunny earlier on the road, but the nearer you are to your destination, the cloudier the sky gets. "Looks like it's about to rain." You mumbled to yourself.
"That's normal here, miss. The weather here's always cold." The driver spoke from the front. You hadn't realized that he heard what you said.
It was a few minutes later when you finally see a large building from a distance. The view lived up to it's reputation even from a far. You feel your heart sinking into a stomach, the anxiety worsening.
This was it. This will be your home for the next 2 or 3 years.
Your driver speeds up once drizzling rain begins to fall down from the sky. You allow him to close the window from his seat and lower down the ac.
Feeling your fingers pruning up, you rub your palms together for warmth after reaching for your bag, pulling it closer to you.
The weather wasn't going to be a problem, and hopefully the people here won't be too.
---
When the car slowed down in front of the entrance, you let yourself take in the view of it all, girls ranging from your ages to younger, walking past of sitting by the stairs. All of them wearing the same thing that you are.
You didn't mean to make the driver open the door for you, but he did anyways as you're too distracted to stop him.
He moves straight to the back to retrieve your other bags as you step out of the vehicle. Some of the girls stopped and stared at you, knowing how rare it is to have new students here.
You couldn't tell what lies behind their long glares and gazes, but you had a feeling that they were eyeing you up like a predator does to their prey. Focusing on the large cream and white colored building staring you down, your heart whispered out a hopeful wish that you could just get back in the car and drive off.
You fix up your plaited skirt and turn towards your driver. "Do you need help to bring these in?" He asks.
You shook your head, immediately taking them into your hands. "No, I got it. But thank you." He smiled warmly as he shut the car hood close. "Have a great year, miss." He tells you politely before walking back to the driver's seat.
And that was the last familiar face you'll ever see for the rest of the semester. You lift up your hand in a tiny wave as you watch him reverse and drive off from the school ground.
You see him wave back before he finally disappears for good.
The staircase made it harder for you and your bags, and if you were expecting any kind eyes to offer some help, none came to it. Instead they all looked at you like you were stupid.
You counted the steps under your breath, stopping when you reached number 5, and then starting back again from 1. It was also an effort to keep your anxiety together, but at certain times like these, you wondered if breathing exercises are all lies made up by a psychiatrist to worsen someone symptom and continue to drive them crazy.
After a couple series of 1 to 5s, you finally made it to the top of the stairwell and into the open doors of the school.
If the rain outside hadn't been freezing your toes, inside was much more brutal. The school is air conditioned, of course it is.
When you said you liked cold, you didn't mean the frozen kind. The strawberry pink socks you're wearing aren't doing you any favors either as you breath out a tired sigh, full hands dragging your bags with you until you reach a tiny counter with the label "office" above the glass.
A teacher, or a guardian, sits inside, working on some paperwork. She looked up when she heard the rolling sound of the wheels on your bag and offered a small smile.
"You're new here, I take it?" You nodded your head and pursed your lips tightly. "Can I have your name?"
You gave her the information needed, from yoir name to your birth certificate. And once she's done compiling the necessary paperworks into a file, she stacks it in the shelves behind her.
"Here's your class schedule, and here's your dorm key." You slid the key onto your pocket and slipped the paper under your arms as you listened to her explaining how the dorm building is in a complete other side of this place, and that you'd have to drag your bags back down the lengthy staircase and walk another 6 minutes towards the other building on the left of the school. Not to be mistaken with the boy's dorms on the right.
You ignored the continuous staring from the other student as you forced yourself down again, and into the left.
The road to the dorm was nicely designed, a straightly drawn black and white concrete pavement in squares with grass on its side. It made the place look more homely. But of course, it wasn’t really gonna fool anyone.
The dragging became easier on the ground. You thanked the gods once you got to the other building once you spotted an elevator. Your first thought was, oh thank fuck for these rich assholes. And your second thought was, oh these are some real rich assholes.
There are less staring here since mostly everyone is already in school. You took your time walking once you're out of the elevator, reading the large signs of the dorm level names.
There are 20 levels to be accurate. And yours, unfortunately, is level 20.
You stood up straight in that elevator for what felt like a whole 10 minutes until it dinged open. Finding your room was much easier, you didn't have to walk very far to find your door. You used the key given to you to unlock the doors and pushed your bags into the room first before you.
You halted for a minute when you met with two strange girls from the inside.
Your roommates apparently have not gone to their classes yet and are still here. They looked at you expectantly as you stared right back.
"Uh-" your daydreams broke. "I'm new here." You announced.
One of the two laughed slightly and shook their head. "We know, we were waiting for you. I'm Harper, and this is Olivia." They extended their hands and you shook them without question.
"So, where'd you come from?" Olivia asks. She had beautiful green eyes and wavy blonde hair. Harper on the other hand, had dark hair and bold blue eyes. Next to each other, the two looks quite the pair. You began rearranging your bags on your side and taking out important things needed for your classes as you answer their inquiries. "New York."
"A city girl, that's nice. The difference here must be jarring." You snorted whilst you hang your clothes on to your small closet. "Very."
They walked out with you once you were done unpacking, leading you back to the school.
"The teachers won't mind you being late, with you being new and all that. But make a habit out of it and you'll get a penalty for it." Harper explained. "Penalty?"
They both nodded and kept on walking up towards the entrance. "Attendance is very important, this isn't public school, lying about health problems to get out of class or skip and disappear for more than 3 times, you could get expelled."
That is insane, you thought. "I didn't know they're that strict." Harper smirked and shrugged at that. "Yeah, I mean unless you're a legacy student, or your parents donate a lot for the school, you won't get many benefits."
Of course, even among the rich, the most privileged still get to escape justice and fairness. "Are you both legacy students?"
"No." Olivia snorted. "What's your locker number?" She takes a peek at your papers and moved right to your locker, opening it with ease.
"Thanks." You tell her while shoving your books inside of it.
"There aren't many legacy students here." Harper spoke from your side, referring back to your question from earlier.
"There are only certain families with histories deeply rooted within the school walls, like Luke Castellan or Silena.”
Your brows raises at those names as the three of you leaned back on the lockers. "Let me guess, they're brats who can get you expelled?"
"Worse." Olivia corrected with a sarcastic smile. "They can do whatever shit they want to you, and will not get expelled for it."
"But don't worry, half of them are decent, just don't piss them off and they'll leave you alone." You nod in understanding, knowing that it was your plan anyways, even if they hadn't warned you.
"Luke's not even entitled or mean, he's actually pretty nice. He helped me take out a book from the library once." Olivia added, wiggling her brows.
"You're just saying that because you like him." Harper scoffed and rolled her eyes.
"Even if I didn't, he's still not an ass." The bell rang the minute her sentence was finished. The two girls groaned and started saying their goodbyes before they parted ways to attend their classes.
"Meet up back for lunch?" Harper initiates. "Sure." You told her before following her directions to pre Calculus.
Your brain still hadn't fully registered what just happened. You just made two new friends, and that is a relief. Though you enjoy your alone time along with some quiet and peace, that doesn't mean you don't get lonely or feel isolated. Having bad social skills doesn't exactly equate to joy wanting a social life at all.
You walk into the half filled classroom and scan the space for an empty seat.
Some kids up front started whispering to themselves as they watched you from the corner of their eyes, but none of them tried speaking to you directly.
You flinch when you heard the teacher's voice, booming through the classroom as she enters right behind you. "You're the new girl?" She drops her bag onto her chair and looked you directly in your eyes.
"Yes." The teacher hummed to herself and turned towards her other students. "Do we have any empty seats at the back?" She asks loudly.
"There's one, but it's Chase's." A boy responded. "He's not in today, is he?" He shook his head at her.
"Alright, you can sit there temporarily, I'll ask the boys to bring in an extra table and chair for you tomorrow." You thanked her and walked right to your seat.
Grateful to be seated at the last row by the window, you slumped against the chair, relaxing your back.
The kids at the front stop wasting their time twisting their heads to stare at you, and as the class begins, you tell yourself that maybe this isn't as bad as you thought it'd be.
-
Your first class ever had been less exciting than expected. You had spent the last 20 minutes of the class trying not to doze off.
Barely any sleep came to you last night, considering how nervous you were for this day. All the worries you've had were for nothing, so far it's all been a bore, and all you wanted to do was to crawl back on to your bed at home and escape all of this strangeness.
Get your shit together, you scolded yourself. You've been all alone your whole life, how different is it now?
The girl on the seat next to yours had craned her neck in your direction, trying to peek through your notebook. Instinctively, you closed over it with your arm.
She did not need to see how there are zero equations in your notebook, all replaced with doodles of flowers and frogs.
When all is hopeless, your passion is where you turn to. Life is suffering in parts, but you find that being able to make it into art, makes the suffering less painful, or at least, more manageable.
Your father had never liked how you prefer to spend your time in art class over piano. In fact, when you were much younger, he even took the initiative to throw out all of your sketchbook. You had to find time to practice your drawing when you aren't at home, knowing his ignorance for your privacy.
But here, hopefully, you'll have ample time to draw and paint.
Once the class is dismissed, you make your way straight into the bathroom, trying to get into a booth before it gets crowded. You caught a glimpse of your reflection from the mirror and cringed at yourself. For some reason, even when you're not doing anything, the school air still finds a way to turn your hair frizzy.
You ran into the small space with open doors and knocked it shut as soon as you're in.
You could hear footsteps entering in right after you're done peeing. A cacophony of running sink water and empty chatter fills your ears as you stood up to fix your skirt and your socks.
The zip of your skirt seemed to have an issue getting stuck on a piece of string, holding it back from fully zipping up. You lifted it up higher and pulled the string out before using your teeth to rip it off of the zip and waving it onto the floor.
There was a moment of silence outside the door just before you were going to exit it. But a loud sound of slamming doors and laughter stops you at your place.
"Lock the doors." You hear another female voice command. She was not shouting, but she had a bold voice that seemed fit for a leader, straight to the point and confident.
Any noise of giggling or chatting immediately died down the moment the girl and her friends stepped in, and now you wonder if getting out would be a good idea at all. So you stayed quiet inside the bathroom.
Your palms are held against the door while you lean into it, trying to hear her clearer.
"What did I tell you last week?" The girl spoke again. She sounded upset or the second worst thing, disappointed.
Another voice rose up in response, meeker in comparison. "You said to have it by Monday."
"It's Wednesday today."
"But I have it now!" The other girl pleaded. "I don't care. I asked for it on Monday, you're two days late." The silence that came after her words was worrying. It was only when she spoke again that you felt your racing heart slowing down.
"You know what you're gonna do right now?" She asks. Silence. "You're going to hand me the money, and then you're going to give me 20 on the ground, right here."
20 what? You frowned in confusion. Money?
You expected resistance, begging, or even defiance from the other girl, but you only heard a resigned sigh from the other side of the door.
The door creaked slightly. You tried to balance yourself away from it when you accidentally slipped. Your fingers reach for the door handle to pull yourself up, and just when you thought it couldn't get worse, the door slams back on its hinges. You cursed yourself internally.
"What the fuck." The first girl snapped. "Booth number 2." She called out. "Get out of there right now or I'll break the door now."
Your breath hitches at the direct interaction and your hands hesitate to unlock the booth. But you'd rather get it over with than risk being taunted in a toilet.
You unlatch the lock with your fingers and slowly pull open the door. The first face you're met with is the one you assume who had addressed you seconds ago.
She had a naturally terrifying expression, with her brows knitted together and her hair pulled up in a ponytail. The bronze skinned girl connecting her gaze to yours.
The staring did not last as she soon started eyeing you up and down like she's analyzing every bad decision you've ever made.
But when she lifts her head back up to your face, you noticed that her frowning had lessened slightly. "You're new." She states aloud.
"How'd you know?" You ask her. "Anyone who's been here for more than a week would have the mind to run out of the bathroom as soon as they heard me." She answered coolly, taking a few steps nearer to you.
"What's your name?" She asks you. You tell her your first name.
She hums in acknowledgement before repeating your name, letting the syllables roll against her tongue. "I assume you haven't been making any friends yet, have you?"
You tried not to look to her side at the girl that was currently half squatting on the floor. "You're making her do push ups." You think aloud, ignoring her question.
"What? Oh, her? She's not important, and she's lucky i’m only making her do 25." The girl waved off like it's a silly joke. "I thought you said 20?" The other girl muttered under her breath.
She snapped her head at the younger girl and glared at her. "One more word and I'll make it 30."
Turning her head back to you, the anger she bore dissolved. "It's a good thing you've met me," she started. "In this place, it's all about making the right type of friends, just in case and not enemies."
"I don't plan on making enemies." You tell her. She was trying to intimidate you. Or at least, ruffle your feathers.
"No one does, but they just do it anyways without realizing." She answers with a shrug.
"And I suppose, if I'm with you, I won't fall down that road?" You didn't mean for it to sound insulting or sarcastic, but when she raised a brow in response, a ghost of smirk over her face, you realized that it was too late to take back your words.
"No, you won't. Because I am that enemy that you should be avoiding." You wondered if she is one of those people that's all talk and no bite, but the way she's folding her arms together as she stands inches away from you, radiated something much more sinister than you'd expect from a typical bully.
"I have to go." You say suddenly, a sense of urgency filled you when you remembered that Harper and Olivia would be waiting for you in the cafeteria. "I won't tell anyone about this." You added, trying to make sure there'd be no bad blood between the two of you.
"You can tell anyone you'd like, it wouldn't matter." She replies, stepping away from you to lean her back on the sink counter.
You clicked your heels away from her and made your way out, taking off the locks before you could swing the door open. You could feel her gaze on you as you left, but didn't twist your head back to confirm.
It didn't matter who she was. A few hours from now you'd forget you even met her, and just like always, you'll blend in with the crowd and be out of her sight.
---
"Where have you been?" Harper inquired once you sat next to her.
She had half a donut in her mouth as she asked this. "Don't talk with your mouth full." You chided her. She groans and mumbles something else you can't understand but chews the food until she's finished before she speaks again.
"We waited for like 10 minutes, you know recess isn't that long." You took a bite of your own sandwich and shrugged at her like nothing. "I was in the bathroom, there was a line." Harper nodded in understanding, but Olivia made a face of disgust as she toyed with her food.
"I hate the bathroom here, the dorm bathrooms are better." She said.
"What if you really need to pee?" You ask in disbelief. "I hold it in."
"What if you had explosive diarrhea?"
"Well, that would suck." Harper chokes out laugh, trying not to spit out her donut. You joined her with a chuckle, shaking your head at your friend.
"Your fear of public bathrooms will be the death of you." Harper quipped after taking a long sip of water. "I think it makes me stronger." Olivia argues.
"Well, I think it's gonna mess with your bladder." The brunette argues back. You listen to their back and forth until the bell rings again, indicating the end of recess.
You were a bit bummed that your classes aren't aligned with theirs, your nerves are much less triggered when they're around, a sense of familiarity of a sort.
Though, there was nothing you can do about it. You say your goodbyes at your lockers and parted ways again for your last 2 classes. The rest of school time was made bearable with the reminder that you at least shared rooms with your two new friends, and so there was nothing to worry about at all actually.
A part of you feels safer when you're around them. Though your mind is constantly bringing up the girl you've met in the bathroom. Her brown eyes and the way she looked at you.
She didn't strike you as someone admirable, but you had to admit, her features were remarkable. You had pulled out a pencil and a paper for a quick sketch of her eyes during Literature class.
It only hit you then, that you haven't even asked for her name. She knew yours, but you didn't know hers.
What would it matter? You asked yourself. If all goes well, you'll never see her for the whole semester at all. And she'd be nothing more than another face in your sketchbook.
You paid attention to the lesson, but your hands just needed something to work on while you were listening. Tapping your fingers repeatedly on the table was getting old, so you got productive and drew up a little something.
You had managed only half of her face on the paper by the time the class ended. Slipping the book into your tote bag, you follow the rush of students leaving class and heading back to your locker to switch your books for the last class.
-
It was 8pm when you were finally in the dorm elevator, back against the cold silver metal, relieving the warmth that radiated off of your body. The gym here is open all day and night, and even if the only equipment they had was a treadmill, you intended to utilise them fully.
Working out helps to take your mind off things, and it tires you out enough to help you sleep easier at night.
And so while everyone went back to their dorms, you stashed your bag by the gym entrance and tied your hair back up and went ahead for a good 40 minutes run.
You kept your eyes on the elevator level, watching the number get higher and higher until it eventually reached 20. It dinged open and allows you out with your poor tired feet and worn out expression.
It was quiet on the top floor, nothing like you’d predict what with the hour still being early. The small light bulbs above your head led you straight down the long corridor until you reached your room.
You took out your key and slashed it into the keyhole and heard your friends’ voices evolving from muffled noises into a clearer state as you pushed the door open.
You expected the girls to scold you over your absence again, as you do make it a habit of going places without letting them know, but what you didn't expect once you enter your dorm room, is for them to genuinely fret over your late arrival.
"You can't just disappear without telling anyone!" Olivia exclaimed, her large green eyes staring into your soul as you took your uniform off. "I was at the gym." You explained.
“In your school clothes?” Harper scrunches her nose in disagreement. “Hey, it's convenient.” You retorted.
"Were there other people there?" You shook your head no. "Well, maybe next time we'll go with you. I know you're not used to the unspoken rules here, but there are seriously more creeps than you can imagine in this place."
They were both sitting on their beds as they're talking to you, fully dressed in their matching pajamas like twins.
Harper had a face mask on as she rested her head on her pillows, her elbows used to help her sit up. They had music playing in the background, a song you recognized as Tourniquet by Evanescence. “I love this song.” You say randomly.
“Don’t change the subject.” You look over at them in confusion once you're finished changing.
"I didn't know it'd be such a big deal, I'm doing what everyone else does."
"I know, but I'm just saying, maybe we should all just play it safe for the semester. We don’t want another Samara accident." Harper reasoned.
You walked over to sit by the edge of her bed and asked her who's Samara.
"Samara Turner. She's a senior from last year. Some kid found her passed out by the back garden, her eyes were rolled back, and she was basically frothing from the mouth. When the ambulance came, it was too late. She was gone."
“Are you just making this up to scare me?” You ask them suspiciously. “No!” Olivia denies. “It's a real story, the teachers covered it up real good for future students, not even the news got a hold of Samara's fate.”
"Does anyone know what really happened?" You questioned them.
"The police ruled it as an overdose, but I can't imagine any type of drug running through her veins. And also, in the garden? That's just weird." Olivia says, shaking her head in disbelief.
"You guys think someone drugged her?" Harper shrugged and pursed her lips, inconclusive.
"Either way. It happened when she was alone. What was she even doing in the garden late at night? No one knows. But everyone will point their finger right back at her and say it's her own fault." You understood what they meant. This place isn't as picture perfect as it seemed, just like any other place, it has its holes and flaws.
"Okay, the next time I'm going anywhere other than my classes, I'll let one of you know." Harper and Olivia smiled and looked relieved. You could tell they were satisfied by your answer. "And if we're going anywhere, we'll tell you."
"Okay." You assured them.
You've never really known what it was like to have people worry over you this way. Most of the time, people were grateful when you minded your own business and hid away. And sure there is a little bit of annoyance that comes with being scolded like a child, but it also felt good to have someone care for you this way.
You folded your knees onto your chest, repositioning yourself on her bed. It is only after you move closer to her that you notice your sketchbook on her side table.
"Where'd you find that?" You jolted up, eyes widening..
"Oh, this is another thing we wanted to ask you about." Harper exclaimed, stretching her arm towards the book and passing it over to you. "Clarisse came over here like 15 minutes ago, said you dropped this."
"Who's Clarisse?" You frowned.
"Oh that's funny, you don't know who Clarisse is, and yet she's talking about you like you've been friends for ages." Harper says it like a mother hen catching her daughter red handed, but you're only further confused.
"No, seriously. Who's Clarisse?"
Olivia sighed from her bed and waved her hand exaggeratedly. "Curly hair, dark skin, looks like she can dropkick you in 6 different ways." Instantly, something in your brain clicked.
"Oh, her." Their expression changed into curiosity as they await for you to add more.
"I...met her in the bathroom. She was making a kid do pushups. But we barely talked, I just left."
"Yeah well, she asked where you were when she came by, and we told her we didn't know. And then she gave me this." You opened the book and found that the page with her face on has been ripped away.
Something eats away at your heart when you saw the torn pages, but you said nothing and instead just tossed the book onto your own bed. "What's her deal anyways." You huffed.
"Legacy students, they're all a little entitled like that, her more than others." Olivia answered.
"Oh, she's entitled alright." You muttered to yourself and rolled your eyes.
"I think I'm just gonna go catch up on homework now, unless there's anything else you two want to nag me on." Harper snorted and shoved you playfully but still smiled.
"No, no more nagging." Olivia concluded.
600 notes · View notes
scorpiomother · 1 month
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there is a light that never goes out
・゚★ most of these days, i don't get too intimate / why would i let you in? but i think again
pairing: tasm!peter parker x f!reader
summary: you’ve tried to ignore the pestering infatuation you harbor for your fellow camp counselor, but when last day debauchery ensues, the lines between friendship and love blur.
tags: slow burn. summer camp. friends to lovers. pining. alcohol usage.
word count: 4.4k
a/n: mother is back and here is my love letter to the feverish bliss of a season and to everyones favorite muse, peter parker + this only took a broken laptop, nicotine and a full year to finish... so enjoy<3
playlist ☆ masterlist ☆ read on ao3 ☆ kofi
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You don’t think it’s possible to feel any warmer, but the mixture of everything is weighing in on you. The blossoming bonfire in accordance with the sultry sun. The tipsy hum in your chest. The occasional graze of Peter’s arm against your shoulder.
Sometimes you can’t bring yourself to look at him and this is one of those times.
Maybe it’s the fact that it’s the last day and you don’t know exactly what to do with yourself. Or it could be the muffled buzz in your chest that’s growing by the minute; telling you to do things you shouldn’t. Admit things you can’t. If you look at him for too long, you’re sure that your better judgment will fade into that tempting hum. 
You squint past the sun rays reflecting off of the lake and focus on all of the small things that don’t mean anything to you. A bottle here, a crushed can there. The flicker and burn of the fire. The new stains on your old Converse.
You search for the next best thing when a beer bottle appears, floating above your lap.
“Your turn,” Peter says.
His voice makes you want to look. It makes you want to say, huh? Then, he would have to repeat himself and you could watch the way his lips move. Instead, you murmur a soft thank you and take the bottle, eyes cemented on the shoreline.
The campers had left in the morning, and yet the feeling of childish abandonment and delight is still overflowing in the empty campgrounds. The handful of twenty-something-year-olds that stayed back for one last night to “clean up” the camp were quick to revel in the sudden freedom. By the time the last bus left with the campers and older counselors, they were already going on a liquor run and starting a bonfire on the shorelines in nothing but their swimwear. And as nice as it all was, you wish the kids were still there. They would distract you from the thoughts of Peter and now, you don’t know what to do when they come.
As you sip on the lukewarm beer, you feel eyes on you. You look up and sure enough, Peter is staring. His eyes are lighter than normal, a sheen like honey, and his expression is almost quizzical. That glint of amusement catches you off guard. 
“What?” 
“Nothing,” he smiles. “I’m just waiting for you to admit that you hate beer.”
“What?” you repeat with more confusion.
“Every time I pass you the bottle you frown.”
You furrow your brows. “No, I don’t.”
“Sure you do. And after you drink, you make a sour face,” he says plainly.
You’re about to protest when Peter reaches for the bottle and takes it from you, his hand skimming against yours in the process. 
“Creep,” you mumble. You drag your fingers along the skin that he touched and try to ignore the burn. "You’ve known me for like, what? Two months? And you think you know me like the back of your hand.”
“I wish,” he shrugs before downing the rest of the beer.
I wish. You’re biting the inside of your cheek now. “I- I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.”
You can hear the smirk in his voice and when you close your eyes, you can even see it. His closed mouth grin, full of satisfaction and knowing. 
Fuck. 
“I’m gonna get a drink,” you mutter, standing up from the bench.
“‘Cause you hate beer, huh?” 
“‘Cause I’m thirsty.”
“Mhm, alright, Bug,” Peter says, smugly.
You can still feel his eyes on you as you walk towards the cooler by the dock and as much as you want to look back, you don’t.
You rummage through the cooler— a little more frantic than you should be. Beneath all the shitty beer and ice is a thick bottle of margarita mix and you pull it out in triumph. 
“Wow, going for the hard stuff, huh?”
You look up to see Harry standing in front of you with Patron in his right hand and a vape in his left. You scoff, “Says you. This shit is mostly juice anyways.”
Harry settles beside you and watches you pour yourself a cup. He smells like liquor, cologne, and bad news. 
“Make me a cup?” He slurs.
You hum in response.
You don’t trust Harry. Not for any particular reason, but he makes you unsure of yourself and you don’t like that. You fill his cup to the brim and hand it to him carefully.
“I’m surprised Peter isn’t here with you.” 
You roll your eyes. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.” 
“Ah, come on. You guys are two peas in a pod.”
“He’s my friend.”
“Is he though?”
“What else would he be?”
“Everyone knows you guys have a thing for each other.” 
You’re quiet for a moment, ruminating on his words. Your brain is teetering between joke or not. If he isn’t, then what? 
“Just friends,” you murmur in a way that doesn’t reach him. It sticks in the honeyed air like a mantra for yourself. 
Ever since the start of camp, Peter and you had been attached at the hips. You were both the new counselors, whereas everyone else had known each other from the year prior. During counselor orientation and the team-building exercises, you gravitated toward each other, sharing awkward laughs and stupid little comments. As the weeks went by, you got closer and closer. You had just met the guy and he was probably the closest you ever got to a person.
“So, that doesn’t bother you at all?” Harry raises a brow.
You look back and Gwen has replaced you on the bench. Peter’s looking at her with such adoration in his face that makes you feel a pang of jealousy. It spreads through your body like a fever.
His cheeks are full of warmth, laughter bellowing out from him so easily. The subtle flex of his bicep has you staring a little longer than you should. When he catches your stare, you mean to look away but the numbing heat makes you forget.
“What? No. Why would it?” You murmur, turning your attention back to Harry.
“Alright. Well, I’ll help you out. Just ‘cause it’s the last day,” Harry says before pouring an ungodly amount of Patron in your cup.
“Oh- I, um. Okay. Thank you,” you stutter. 
Harry takes his bottle and taps it to your cup. “To friends.”
“To friends,” you mumble under your breath before throwing back a couple of gulps.
Harry starts to talk about nonsense that you can no longer concentrate on. Your ears had zoned in on the laughter behind you, trying to figure out what was so funny to Peter. Have you ever made him laugh like that? 
There’s an invisible string tugging at your face, telling you to look back. Soak up the last of the daylight and the last of Peter, even if it hurts. You want to give into the compulsion, like looking at him is a tick you can’t help, but your attention falls on the dainty bumblebee fluttering innocently in the space between you and Harry.
“Oh, shit,” Harry yelps. His face is full of horror as the small thing dances around him.
“It’s just a bee,” you reassure him. 
Rather than calming down, Harry attempts to pull an ungraceful version of the matrix, bumping into you in the process. 
“Harry!” 
“Fuck, I’m sorry! I just- Fuck!” Before Harry could finish his apology, he’s running far from the docile insect and you.
“Fuckin’ Harry,” you mutter to yourself, looking at the stain of Red40 and Patron on your shirt and then to Peter.
He’s too preoccupied with Gwen to notice the mishap.
Like a small child, it hurts. The possessiveness sticks onto your skin like humidity. 
You down what’s left in your cup in one go and start walking to your cabin.
It was that second week of camp when your heart first succumbed to Peter. The two of you were on night watch and he entertained you with a game of Would You Rather while everyone else on the campgrounds slept soundly and the night insects trilled. 
Would you rather get stung by a bee or watch Isabella all by yourself? 
Give me the bee, you deadpanned.
Ouch, I’m gonna tell her what you said.
You wouldn’t, you scoffed.
You’re right, I won’t. That kid would probably start biting us both. 
One moment you’re laughing and the next, he’s whispering, wait, hold on. Stay still. So you do. You stayed as still as the night and suddenly, his hand was inching closer and closer to your face until his fingers grazed against your cheek. He held an eyelash in front of your lips and gently said, make a wish.
You hesitantly whispered a delicate oh, okay before absentmindedly blowing the eyelash away. 
I hope it was a good one, he grinned.
It was, you lied.
Everything after was hazy, with constant flashes of making a wish. If you could do it again, you would tell yourself to get a grip and not waste such a precious wish like you just did. If you could do it again, you would wish that Peter would grab that eyelash off your cheek again and again and again.
You’re already feeling the drink make its way to your head as you head on over to your cabin. You underestimated Harry’s heavy hand and the heat is working against you. Annoyingly, the wet shirt is enough to cool you down.
You wonder where the time went. It’s overwhelming to think about, especially now that you’re tipsy. Time is slipping through your fingers and you don’t know how you’re supposed to go back to the city and let this all turn into a memory— let Peter turn into a memory. 
In all honesty, you’re not so sure that you can. Eight weeks of children watching and sun soaking. Eight weeks of Peter and all of those almost kisses (two to be exact). Where was it supposed to go? In a shoebox of memories, farther away than you’d like it to be?
There’s a swelling feeling in your chest that quickly dissipates when Peter comes running behind you.
“Hey, hey, where did you go?”
You want to be spiteful and ask him what happened to Gwen. Instead, you bite your tongue.
“I’m right here, Bear,” you say.
“Well, yeah. I mean, what happened?”
“I just wanted to get something to drink and I-”
“You spilled all over yourself.”
“No, I didn’t. Harry did and I need a new shirt.”
“My cabin is right here,” he points out.
“It’s okay, I have my own clothes.”
“Bug, stop being stubborn.” He grabs your wrist, and you have no choice but to stop and look at him. The swelling returns as his brown eyes try to read you. “Trust me.”
“Okay?” 
You sigh. “Okay.”
His cabin is identical to yours. Three beds. Creaky wood all over. Light smell of mildew. You were there once before but you try not to think about it too much.
“Here, sit,” he says, patting the mattress.
Like a loyal dog, you obey quietly.
While Peter rustles through the drawers, mumbling where did I put it? you gaze at the Polaroids decorating the wall like his own personal scrapbook.
You notice one particular photo with you in it. You were setting up the projector for the first Movie Mondays. That night The Princess and the Frog played, the lights flickering green and blue on the flimsy screen that took you and Peter too long to put up. 
Oh my god, you sobbed halfway into the movie. Ray, the firefly, was singing Evangeline to his star, and it was enough to trigger an embarrassing fit out of you.
Are you crying? Peter whispered.
I’ve never wanted to be a bug so bad before, you laughed pitifully. You wrapped your arms around your legs and let the stray tears fall on your knees. You wanted to pout and blame your hysteria on Peter. He didn’t know it but he had an annoying habit of turning you into a child. 
You’re pretty when you cry, he said.
With your head on your knees, you bit your lip. You- you’re stupid.
I don’t think that’s what you say when someone gives you a compliment.
You’re making fun of me.
Am not, Bug, he said for the first time. 
With teary eyes, you looked for the truth on his face. His eyes softened. Without noticing, you licked your lips and you swore he did the same. It happened so fast you couldn’t remember and suddenly you were wondering if you leaned in, would he do the same? Before you could test your theory, there was a tap on your shoulder.
I think I just ate peanuts, Susie said.
What?
My throat is itchy.
Oh!
Luckily, little Susie was okay, but you weren’t. That night you couldn’t sleep. That look on his face stuck with you. If you were crazy, you would’ve thought that he wanted to kiss you. 
Still, you’re unsure.  
You open your mouth to ask him if he remembers that night, but he interrupts you.
 “I kind of miss them,” he says, head still in the dresser. 
“Your army of fanboys?”
“Yeah, if you want to call them that,” he laughs. 
“It was pretty sweet how they looked up to you.”
“Maybe, I should start a cult.”
You snort. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 
“Why do you hate me?” Peter looks back at you and tilts his head with a boyish smile that makes you look away.
He returns his attention to the drawers and you begin to get impatient.
“You know I don’t need anything special, right? I just need… A shirt.”
”Bug,” he says firmly. “When did you get so bratty?”
“I- You’re taking a long time,” you redden.
You tap your foot against the old wood and stare at the back of his head bobbing and searching. His hair is overgrown, longer than it was when you first met him. If you were brave enough, you would run your hands through it.
“If you think about it, we were basically paid to be cult leaders for eight weeks,” he says.
“Oh. We’re still talking about cults. Great.”
“How does one go about making a cult anyways?”
“Hold on, let me just look for a cult leader’s TED talk.”
“So sarcastic, Bug.” 
“Only for you, Bear,” you joke.  
“Good.”
Your ears turn hot and you’re licking your lips again. The raspiness in his voice feels all too serious. 
You’re silent again. It’s quiet enough you can hear the Earth past Peter’s search. Trees rustle. The wind caresses the grass. If you listen hard enough, you swear you can hear sunshine, but maybe it’s just the alcohol. Eventually another drawer shuts.
“Here,” he says. He finally turns around and stands up with a shy expression on his face that makes you smile. In his hand is a red and blue tie dye shirt he made in the early weeks of camp.
When you reach for it, you zone in on the beaded bracelet on his wrist, a silly little nothing that you made for him a week ago. You might as well have threaded the beads to say IHAVEACRUSHONYOU, but the nickname you called him was safer.
You partially regret the bracelet as the cringey gift screams elementary innocence, but now you had something of his. You were even.
“Thank you,” you say.
“Yeah. I’ll meet you outside.”
“It’s fine,” you say before you can think. “I mean it’ll only take three seconds. You’ve seen me without a shirt before, hah.”
“Someone’s drunk,” he chuckles. 
You turn away before he can see you blush. “Not really…”
In one swift motion, you sling off the stained shirt and drape it along the end of his bed frame and pick up Peter’s replacement shirt.
“Oh, it’s healing nicely,” Peter says, surprised.
You look back in an attempt to look at the once opened wound on your back. “Thanks to you, I guess.”
Due to peer pressure from freshly graduated fourth graders, you had jumped off the cliff right into the lake and your back grazed against a submerged rock. It wasn’t anything serious. Barely deep enough for medical attention and the adrenaline from the jump turned you numb.
It was the first time he touched you, really touched you. A deliberate palm to your side rather than an unintentional graze of the knuckles. It made you think of other ways you could hurt yourself just so the two of you could play an innocent game of doctor.
I can’t just drink this by myself, you whined. 
I’m about to put a needle through you, you really want me to drink alcohol right now?
I trust you, you admitted unwillingly.
Once he stitched you up, you sat together side by side on his bed with your shirt still over your neck and your bathing suit now cold on your skin. He pressed his hand on your thigh, saying all better. It was enough to warm you up. Enough to make you forget why you never kissed him. Enough to make you want to.
He squeezed the fleshy part of your thigh, and you exhaled. Peter.
It’s Dr. Parker to you.
One moment you’re whispering, stupid, and the next your nose was grazing his with two parting lips just barely touching. His own breath matched yours. Cinnamon, and booze. Warm and wanting. You gently nudged your nose against his before you could come to.
With lips hovering and agape and adrenaline clouding your mind, you thought he was about to kiss you, for sure this time. But when Gwen knocked on the door, calling out to Peter, kissing was the last thing you wanted to do. The only option was to run away. Run back into that lake and sink all the way to the bottom.
When you throw the shirt on, the fabric grazes against the healing scar. The cotton is soft and weightless. You could immediately smell the familiar evergreen and pine. 
“Red and blue look good on you,” Peter says and you have to force yourself to not think anything of it. Friends compliment each other. No big deal.
“You should keep it,” he adds and then you’re thinking, okay, kind of a big deal. But you don’t have it in you to protest. If this was the only thing you could get from Peter, then you were happy. Almost satisfied.
“Alright,” you say and wear it like a promise ring.
By the time you two make it back to the lake, the sun is nearly set. The bonfire melts into the fire in the sky, a burnt orange streak floating above the lake. Smoke and char wafts in the air and you notice everyone huddled up in a circle. There’s beer bottles surrounding them like they were partaking in some kind of ritual. As you get closer, you see the single bottle laying on its side in the middle of the crowd. 
“What are they, twelve?” Peter whispers as Flash and Felicia kiss.
They don’t notice you two. They’re far too gone and enamored to see beyond themselves, and you’re grateful. Being the bystander looking in was better than watching Peter kiss someone else.
“Wanna go somewhere else?” he nudges.
You nod your head in silence and follow him like a lost puppy.
You two keep to the lakeshore and walk side by side until you can barely see the stray embers of the bonfire in the air. 
A mile away, you eventually reach the west pier. It’s unsoiled with beer and degeneracy, the moon purifying the fresh water and wood. The two of you sit on the dock, feet dangling in the chilling water. By the time the night completely glossed over, the alcohol had too.
“It’s so… Quiet,” you say and suddenly you fear your voice may disturb the stillness and ripple through the water. 
“I like it.”
“Just kind of eerie, ya know?”
“Don’t worry. I’ll scare the monsters away for you,” he teases.
Peter places one hand on your back and rubs small circles, a new type of warmth now rippling through you. 
Without realizing it, you began to mindlessly kick your feet through the lake, ripples after ripples reaching out to touch the earth beyond. The wrinkles of water pulsate. Your heart does the same with each circle of his hand.
“Should’ve got another beer before we left,” you eventually murmur.
“I’m not fun enough for you?”
I just don’t know what to do with myself.
“You’re less fun without your little cult,” you tell him. 
“I’m retiring,” he tells you.
“Oh, God forbid.”
“I’m tired,” he says. “Let me be tired.”
When he lays his head in your lap, you don’t move. You barely breathe.
You wish you could feel the calm, shudder and move on, exhale the hummingbird out of your chest, and be done with it. 
It’s heavier than you can manage. The ease and calm of him scares you. He makes a home in you so terribly easy, and you can barely touch him without feeling dizzy.
Peter sighs. “What am I going to do without you, Bug?”
You wish he didn’t say things like that.
You get out a shaky, “I don’t know.”
But you do know. Peter’s going to be okay without you. You’ll just be some girl he used to know and move on just fine. But you on the other hand? You don’t know. You don’t want to.
It aches.
I’m tired. Let me be tired, you beg the cruel universe.
It twinkles in response. Ripples right through you. 
Your hands are in his hair. You’re dizzy, but you do it anyway. There’s a soft moan coming from Peter so you play and pull and tug, letting all the anxiety leave your hands like kneading dough. You’re gentle because Peter is gentle. Rubbing your back. Stitching up a silly mistake. And even breaking your heart. He does it so gently, you don’t know if he has a cruel bone in his body. Even if he was cruel, you’re not sure if it would offend you.
He closes his eyes. You drag your nails against his temple and roam freely. The night sky reminds you of fireflies and popcorn. Slow breaths and wishes. You count the dimples on the moon. Little distractions to ground you, even now. 
The moment feels infinite. Almost infinite, like those almost kisses. So close, yet so fleeting. You stop trying to make it stay. You let it ripple through you.
You feel a little brave.
“Let’s go swimming,” he says, eyes closed. He can smell it on you— the braveness, you think.
Your hands freeze.“Now?”
“When else?”
“It’s cold.”
“I’ll keep you warm, Bug,” he says, this time with his brown eyes wide, open, and tempting. “Trust.”
He stands up and holds his hand out for you before you can protest. Whenever he mentions trust, it does something to you. The cut above your shoulder blade is trust scarred onto your body. Were you supposed to stray from your habits now? On the last day?
You open your mouth but then your hand is in his and he’s guiding you to the obsidian. 
He takes off his shirt and shorts, throwing them on the dock. You follow suit, and by the time you fold the tie dye shirt into a neat square, Peter’s already in, yelping, laughing, coaxing.
You shiver and when you’re in the water, you shiver some more. 
“I hate you.”
“I know.”
“Is this your big plan to murder me? Drown me and run back to everyone else and play spin the bottle?” you grumble, less than satisfied.
“Duh,” he smiles proudly.
You’re treading water, feet barely reaching the sand, while Peter stands tall, the moon illuminating his handsome face.
“Why didn’t you wanna play spin the bottle?” you say impulsively. 
It shocks both you and Peter.
“Did you?”
“I asked you first.”
His brows knit together. “I don’t want to see you kissing someone else.”
Your brain short circuits. A laugh coils in your stomach and you want to ask if Ashton Kutcher is going to come out of the woods with his crew and yell, Gotcha! It makes more sense than what you think he’s implying. 
“What do you mean by that?” you ask.
“What do you want it to mean?”
Your limbs suddenly burn from trying to stay afloat.
“Do you need me to show you, bug?” he says.
His hand is out in front of you again like a life raft. You let him take you, pull you in his gravity. Show me. You glide in the water until you can feel Peter’s breath on your face and your chest is heaving against his. Show me.
Peter wraps his arm around your lower back and your legs have nowhere else to go but wrapped around him. He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.
“Still need me to show you?”
 Show me. Show me. Show me.
“I think so,” you say so delicately you’re not so sure he hears you, but then his lips are on yours and the sun comes back in the dead of night, blooming in your ribcage.
It happens fast. He doesn’t let you hesitate, retreat back like the scared creature you are. He knows you. He kisses like he knows you. He keeps his promise. I’ll keep you warm. 
Soft, tender, and close to loving. His lips overlap yours and your gripping onto his back like this moment could dissolve in this lake. He grips you right back like you’ll run. You could. You might.
He deepens the kiss, more want, more need, less tenderness. He sucks on your bottom lip and the strength to run right out of you. 
Your hands wander feverishly. From his back to the crook of his neck and then his hair.
Now that he has you here like this, it makes things more difficult. 
You feel like a firefly. This small little thing of shine and glow, jutting around in a mason jar with Peter’s name sharpied on the top. 
His lips linger for a second longer and then he pulls away, resting his forehead on yours.
“Bug,” Peter says.
“Hmm?”
“You’re going to call me, right?”
His lips move in slow motion.
“Right,” you say.
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