#I had a dream my life would be
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Medieval Torture in European Literature
Just die so I can grieve
Perish so I can rest
I’m exhausted in your energy
I’ve failed to pass the test
I’m not the stalwart servant
Never daring to ask why
I may not voice my dissent
But it festers in heart and eye
Your castle dreams are rotten
Dank as dungeon walls
You wish a maiden daughter
Veiled and silenced all
I’m not the perfect prop
A plaque beside my name
“Here stands the Fair Girl Child
Who powered through the pain”
You’re not the erudite scholar
Despite the books you read
You’re not the saintly father
Due to the life you lead
Thank GOD I wasn’t born then
When you’d most like to live
Thank God I’m here today
Modern and unconnived
Feel free to delude yourself
And live in your fantasy
At least when you perish
I’ll finally be fully free
I’ll mourn you, surely
Against all good advice
The fallen patriarch icon
My heart will still not ice
Stained glass tears will glitter
And turret thoughts will fall
But at the end of the tale
What I’ll grieve most of all
Will be the what-if plots and tropes
Of a better story told
In another universe
Where I am strong and bold
Where you love me wholly
And not only for my tasks
Where your dreams are for ME
And I don’t have to ask
The barest minimum
(that you still fail to meet)
We share a castle in the air
Where paternal love is sweet
I love you, always, and yet
As evil as it may make me be
I wish your story over
And the next one stars just me
Just die so I can grieve
And finish this winding tale
And close the book forever
And throw away the veil
#Notes by Nikki#my poem#my poetry#my writing#my artwork#my art#poem#poems#poetry#daddy issues#depression#depressive shit#mentally exhausted#not doing well folks#I had a dream my life would be#so different from this HELL I'm living#he ate my fucking soup#too lazy to put his own soup away#and so just ate mine#after I put his away for him#and it's just stuff life that#constantly
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Michael Afton wishes he had FNAF Movie Mike's life,,
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#mike schmidt#michael afton#elizabeth afton#fnaf movie#sister location#fnaf fanart#tbh this comic was an exist to draw different looks for Mike and Michael#it’s just cool to think about the ‘what ifs’ now and again#I think Michael does prefer Mike’s life seeing compared to his it’s currently simple#he’d love to be alive and just taking care of Elizabeth as best he can#though Mike is definitely not as enthusiastic 💀#his life would just get significantly worse if he had Michael’s life#so he’s not interested at all BAHAH#It was fun to draw them out though in swapped looks#Mike being scooped and Michael and Elizabeth being in more movie inspired clothes#my boy Michael can dream!!
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Bedhead 🐮👅
#I had the silliest dream last night my sister went as Glinda the good witch for some costume contest#and had a wand with crazy pyrotechnics that almost burned the venue down#but really impressed some rich dude who wanted to fund a performance with her as Glinda#so I said I’d direct but that we needed someone on vocals bc and I quote dream tsuchi:#“my sister is a lovely singer but she’s no Ariana grande”#but then I like turned down Kristin chenoweth bc like it’s been done before#and went with Gigi hadid who I only actually know in name like I couldn’t tell you who she is in real life#and then I was like “wait I have no experience directing a musical” and woke up#Virgo ass moment tbh#gpoy#and yes I was almost late to work bc I kept snoozing my alarm bc I wanted to see how the musical would go
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#selfie bee#me telling a coworker who I have been working with for 4 months and whose name I do not know about my toenails#i'm sorry Tobias (?? Paul ??) it was the only topic I could come up with after I already told you about the big bird I saw in 8th grade#FRIENDS how are you!! :) how has the new year been so far!!#did you have a lot of snow on christmas!#we did and it was really fun! I had a very bad cold so I just watched the snow from inside but that was good too c:#do you have any plans for the new year?#i always have lot and most of the time I do not do any of them but planning is fun#this year I REALLY want to watch all of Star Trek ヽ(´∇`)ノ#I would also love to learn how to make a handstand#imagine if you could just make yourself upside down#but it is a far away dream because honestly I am not very good at being usual side up most of the time either#but I will try probably at least 2 times to learn it ( ᐛ )#maybe I'll finally finish that website!#new years are good and fun#it's wild to think about how much daily life has changed since last year but I feel just the same :)#who knows what this year will bring!#I hope I don't hit a pheasant with my car#I almost hit a pheasant with my car last year and the pheasant made direct eye contact#I wonder how he is doing today#since that moment I think about pheasants a lot#I knew they were real but I had never seen one#just to know they are out there is a mystical feeling#right know it is raining so all the pheasants might be wet#get dry soon pheasants!!#I don't think I've ever seen a wet bird either#I don't know what do do with all these birds thoughts#also thank you for the person who asked about my skirt!! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡.°⑅#I've finished it and its really really bad#but I love it
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Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between
#to be or not to be. that is the question#ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment#musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is#To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL#reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires#the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live#even if just out of fear of the unknown#and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live#despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others#theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts#I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79#working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH#I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever#anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff#banger after banger from me tbh#this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse#it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want#like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere#a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want#ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work
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i had a dream about you // alucinatio by alexmeg
“He stares at the ceiling, blinking blankly every now and then, until his eyes close and he falls asleep.”
hey so what the fuck
bonus
caption translation: “you’re an angst enjoyer”
video translation: “that feeling like where it hurts so much but it feels good, you know that feeling when “aww im so sad cuz they didnt end up together😞” but its also satisfying in a way that they didnt end up together😁”
#park that car drop that phone sleep on the floor DREAM ABOUT ME#when i tell you this fic made me physically ill#this one had me gooped and gagged#it ruined my life#the way i made a playlist for this😭#if guilty as sin was a fic it would be this its not even funny#this fic felt like richard siken poetry 😭😭#i get it i DO#gago bat ang sakit#drarry#hpdm#hp#harry potter#draco malfoy#ao3#fanfic#digital sketch#digital art#digital artist#art#digital drawing#digital illustration#illustration#sketch#nah drays stronger in this fic than i’ll ever be dawg😭#cuz wdym that wonderful thing wasnt even real n instead of all that happening i was actually experiencing the worst things to ever happen t#anyone EVER#BRO I WOULD DIE😭
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WYLL approves of valiant acts of defending the innocent or the defenceless, and appreciates kindness towards children. Peaceful, but decisive actions resonate with him, and those that take a genuine interest in him and the struggles he faces are also well-liked by him.
#bg3edit#gamingedit#baldursgateedit#baldur's gate#bg3#wyll ravengard#wylledit#userewbie#(hope it's okay if i'm tagging you ♥)#edits#this came out terrible cause i had to go to work mid making it#and i lost my flow#but i couldn't give up posting his sweet face so have it anyway :(#he says this to tav during the party but have you considered this is basically the core of who he is as a character#if only half the world would choose empathy and resilience and selflessness every single time!#if only baby girl!#anyway i'm kissing him on the forehead and wishing him sweet dreams as we speak#also i had to fight for my life trying to find art and models that didn't have mizora in it i'm--
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I know The Founders Cut, generally, is the edited scrubbed over version of genloss from Showfall in-universe (as well as a not-8-hour-long-three-stream-binge-night whenever we want to watch it again) but something that struck me as odd and I haven’t seen anyone mention yet, is this warning
It shows up right at the junction where the third act starts, where it appears the Hero is breaking free of Showfall thanks to Hetch. But here’s the thing, while a LOT less than the previous acts the audience still played a significant role in this act, even when really only given two audience interaction choices. Which makes me wonder, how real is this warning, and who is it for? Obviously the audience involved knows what happens past this point, but the audience is also implied to be an integral part of the Social Experiments, which is part of why things start to tweak out when the Founder removes them in the Founder Cut as the Generation Loss generation loses.
My first thought, was that obviously this is another bait and switch, a way to draw the audiences attention, seeing something that’s secret, something that’s not “meant for them”, which is a tactic I could see Showfall using in universe to keep people’s attention and add an air of mystery to their shows.
But
Showfall is doing all their experiments and these shows with a LOT of help from their censors to show it off, displaying a fun silly show that is definitely not uber fucked up and that is 100% just slime don’t worry about it, it’s kid friendly if it’s green! And I don’t think they’d want to bet all their cards on this one experiment doing well enough to their audience to not question the sudden shift in tone that follows this warning. Which makes me wonder.
They did their test, they did their experiment, and the evidence of this last act? I think it was a one time run, they don’t want anyone seeing this, it isn’t for the audience. Act three is specifically to both test and play with their Hero, Hetch’s new lines add a level to this, never once does he call the Hero by their name, just refers to Ranboo as their Role, and he’s not exactly. Nice? About literally any of Ranboos concerns, which wouldn’t really seem conductive to making an audience trust him, especially with his monologue at the end. Ranboo has escaped before, possibly right before act 1 started, they tightened the security on his mask to be unremovably part of them, Hetch doesn’t like the Hero but they’re a fan favorite so he can’t just get rid of them.
Act three is the cumulation of Ranboo being punished for things they don’t remember, for daring to break free from Showfalls control, this is Hetch taking the Hero and essentially majorly fucking and manipulating them to take his frustration out on a fan favorite they can’t otherwise get rid of or give a smaller role like Slimecicle. which is exemplified by the fact that we now know Charlie most likely was never able to actually able to fully snap out of the control, that even in act three in panic and confusion there was at least still a part of him being influenced by Showfall.
So the first two acts are the usual show, they have their posters, they have Squiggles to introduce them, they have goofs and silliness and only a couple slip ups that’re quickly dealt with, the usual rose tinted curtains. Act three?
Do not watch the following material
#or Showfalls just bein silly goofy and pretending they’re letting us in on a secret that isn’t one and playing off the reveal of#what they’re up to as just another plot of a show and hey that isn’t real don’t worry it#but I also think Hetch is really truly throwing Ranboo around like a ragdoll for more than just audience entertainment during act three#I think it could tie in to Chronicle Zero though. if Zeros dreams are connected to what happened to Ranboo then she knows something#Showfall would have a vested interest in her. not in fact. knowing that#and maybe trying to make her not know about any it anymore in a very Showfall kinda way#I’m less versed in what’s going on with Chronicle Zero tbh but I’m tryin. I fuckin love Gen loss#robot rambles#generation loss#genloss#Ranboo#I’m doin the thing where I ramble but it’s my blog I do what I want here#and I’m having hard life stuff happen irl rn so I’m clinging to genloss because it brings me joy and the timing of the FC was super helpful#also if anyone was curious I think Hetch is a bitch but I do acknowledge the possibility of him also being controlled#and I don’t think we’ve seen the last of him#but that’s stuff for not-in-this-post lmao#I had a theory tag at some point but imma be so fr I Do Not Remember what it was
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Now presenting: Lucid (she/they)
She's a Seer.
Working for the Sodality.
Disguises herself as a dreamwalker.
She speaks in mostly a whisper because she always has a fucking headache.
Headphones are always on her head.
The way she dies is a bit confusing to her and she has yet to understand it so she takes time out of her day to dissect it.
Because why is there fog and why was she on a boat?
#my food is on its way so I'm gonna stop here#but isn't she just adorbs#lol#I wish I had blue hair#but life is cruel and sad#she's like an idiot#idk how visions work for seers#but I really wanted her death to not make a lick of sense#and to be spontaneous#redacted audio#redactedverse#redacted asmr#redacted sona#redacted oc#I shoukd make a tag for her huh#lucid dreams#that's stupid#but maybe#lucid can be creative!!#idk why I didn't make an art tag for myself#it would help loads#she's not a fortune teller#I just thought fortune teller = seer#sort of
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Just like in a dream
#in which single child Ludwig dreams of a big brother he never had#also in which I repeat the joke that half of what I make is just shit a slightly more unstable Ludwig would have statues of in his manor#hws prussia#hws germany#gerpru#hetalia fanart#hetalia#this was meant to be a warmup but then my iPad ran out of battery :/#curse you battery life!!!#I barely get to draw as it is since it’s been hitting 90 degrees lately and being even close to my iPad in the daytime will burn me up#I imagine he’s like I dunno 15-16 here#unbuff and gangly#something something pygmalion and galatea#side note: I’ve been getting back into my 12 year old obsession with mythology lately so that’s gonna be fun#my love for sneaky trickster gods has not aged one bit#digital art#my art#hetalia human au#he probably curls up to sleep on the pedestal after such dreams tbh the little freak
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out of curiosity, would you consider yourself butch?
used to be a blonde underweight twink and now I'm a based jock still got the chanel bag and the sick albeit matured mind of a suckpig to prove it so I'm gonna let you decide whether you wanna call me that word just cuz I got a pussy and short hair. I promise you that there have been enough advancements made in the art of lesbian sexual dynamics in the past 50 years to broaden the vocabulary used to describe the plethora of types of masculine females.
#being called butch just reminds me of how much males have the freedom to navigate between male archetypes and how people pay attention to#the distinguishing features of these varying masculinities#but when a female is seen as masculine it all gets lumped under the “butch” category#her masculinity is seen as unnatural and therefore incapable of being considered genuine or taken at face value as it is with males.#its always brought into question instead of taken in consideration with the rest of the woman's life and experiences and her particularities#Hence... Butch is still being treated as though its a huge lesbian cultural phenomena instead of a specific niche thing#also i dont mean to invite the “you dont pass!!” anons again bc that idiot is missing my point entirely (which is that im truly not trying)#but the fact is that for the past 3 years i have found myself increasingly navigating the male social world#and discovering what it means to me as a female to have access to the ability to take my “masculinity” for granted... relax#forget about it#etc#i think thats entirely antithetical to the Butch thing which seems to rest on the tension of other peoples expectations of her#people broadly are more surprised to find out that im interested in women just as much as they're surprised that im a gym queen iykwim...#ive worked hard for this and now that ive gotten the Woman Social Role thing pretty much entirely out of the way i am living the dream#i think a large part of that is learning as a dyke to appropriate the language of gay men theres a reason their terminology had#staying power even when their scene was *literally* dying meanwhile all that seemed to survive from dyke spaces was butch n femme ??#its because theirs didnt necessitate the building and maintenance of a scene in order for the subculture to hold its head above water#their labels *largely* weren't predicated on their relationships to gender roles and its telling that for dykes it was#their labels rested on the need to simply show up anonymous n be able to easily flag whether they were looking to fuck or be fucked#alongside the set of circumstances under which they would be fucking or getting fucked or what have you#it all comes back to the restrictions of female social blah blah blah and i think the sooner we collectively set down what we see as our#responsibility as lesbians and as feminists to Be A Woman the sooner we can step outside of that#n start thinking clearly about our individual circumstances and the necessity of putting on your own oxygen mask first before helping others
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imagine...
...that some things have changed (including some marigold ventures?) and Atlas May is like uh oh both lackadaisy & i are doomed, but if i set up my own death maybe only i'll be doomed and lackadaisy might have to shutter but perhaps more so on involved people's terms, such as mitzi being fine financially, but also if she thinks it's her fault that'll be good for maintaining my posthumous Image to her, perhaps she did some defrauding again? and i'll have mordecai, my trusted & effective gunman, be the one to fatally shoot me, & of course he doesn't want to, but it's Mere Work Ethic time, what's he gonna do besides argue at all maybe, ultimately refuse? (no) and he may hate it but he's not going to want to fully turn on mitzi or anything after because then what would have been the point
#the power of images to incoherently posit my Ideas#can't be concise but Can frame this completely with What If Atlas Did This Thing#if i start with ''so mordecai killed atlas'' there's no time to be like ''not cuz he wanted to; yeah no he wouldn't betray him;'' etc#but see: my tag:#mitzi and mordecai murder mystery#lackadaisy#mitzi may#mordecai heller#i bet that horatio absolutely did not ever do that. chaisis is trying to be a play on crisis btw#bristling fugue moments? don't try to verify it#for the life of me i couldn't find that one specific edit that ends with the ''I Want To Dream....'' dialogue doesn't it lmao. nevertheless#kind of what i meant to make when i ended up drawing Lackabowling & mordico. nicodecai. mordenico. you understand#not sure anyone can understand i'm trying to convey ''if mordecai had to noscope atlas (from afar i bet) a second would pass Very Slowly#from his perspective. how useful if he even has clock sound effect leitmotifs established'' or anything else. have fun be yourself. Post!#corned beef#(ha only now do i remember ''that's completely ambiguous whether it's a second or minute hand'' zoinks#oh well: A Second Feels Like Fifteenish or Mordecai Is Just Standing There Emoji For A Full Minute....either way i guess)
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not to be a bitch but like. i can never take "ohhhh kon is soOOoOoo sad about tim/ber uwaahhhh he's in love with tim but it's unrequited waaahhhh" angst seriously because like... i get it, the only thing you know about kon is that he's the other half of a popular m/m tim ship, but uh. rebirth kon is living an existential fucking nightmare. i think he's got way bigger fish to fry than whether the tim who only kind of remembers him at all is dating some other guy lmao
#rebirth tim even after getting his memories of kon back feels more like at least some of them are very vague and dreamlike#and of course ymmv interpretation wise but to me. if my friend no longer remembers formative experiences they shared with me clearly#i would not feel like they are the exact same friend i lost. i think that's a horrifying kind of grief. this is not the same person#like in yj19 tim refers to the memory yj98 issue 7 camping trip as being like a dream he once had#and kon has to be like uh that was real#like SORRY I JUST DON'T THINK HE'S THAT PRESSED ABOUT PRIME EARTH TIM'S DATING LIFE LMAO#SUPERMAN doesn't remember him and you're telling me he's moping about BERNARD??????#anyway. this has been another episode of ''i like timkon but everyone else in the timkon tag is my fucking enemy'' with rimi merils#holds up a knife. appreciate kon as a character outside of tim or else. i am no longer asking#rimi talks#kon
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A hypothetical scenario where MK was the one to kill the pilgrims in a past life, and what a conversation post that reveal might look like.
#''Until I know what I am- what my destiny is? I can't risk hurting the people I care about—the one's I have left''#THAT'S MY FUCKING ANTHEM BABY#What if MK was like ''Wukong why would you put me with them knowing I was the one who killed them. Knowing I could hurt them''#And then Wukong's was like ''Because I thought you should be given the same chance I had''#Literally my dream scenario#Like if LMK goes this direction. It's god tier that would be everything#LMK writers please let eamk be somewhat true and let MK have killed the pilgrims in a past life. Do it for me#I like do not believe this is the direction the show is going (and the direction it *is* going will still be good)#But what if it was#I have not ever drawn an action sequence like go me bro#lmk#lego monkie kid#lego monkie kid art#lego monkie kid fanart#lmk art#lmk fanart#lmk comic#lmk MK#lmk SWK#lmk sun wukong#lmk sunburst duo#monkie kid#art#my art#apparently my brand is drawing sunburst duo comics where SWK sadly smiles teary eyed at MK#Sorry for the amount of leaps I have taken for this comic to make sense lol#Like you have to one: assume MK has a past life and was sealed in the stone (then hatching from said stone as MK)#two: assume he killed the pilgrims in that past life#three: assume Wukong knew MK's true identity the entire course of the show#and four: assume Wukong then made the decision to leave MK with the modern reincarnations of the pilgrims
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He once made the mistake of joking about taking a dive into a lake because he’d been craving fish, saying he’d give anything for one right then.
Sukuna didn’t even pause before jumping right in. And only then did Yuji find out that the boy didn’t even know how to swim.
He can still feel the sharp, visceral terror of seeing those flailing limbs going under without a sound, the stream of bubbles rising to the surface as he’d stared, dumbfounded, before realizing that Sukuna wasn’t coming back up.
Yuji cried so hard after fishing the boy out of the water that Sukuna awkwardly started patting his head in consolation.
— sneak peek of “Fragilely, Gradually”, pt ii of the Ouroboros verse ✨
#aka the time travel fic continuation nobody asked for#well not that’s not true some people did indeed ask#which is honestly such a cool thing#anyway yeah#Yuji continues to stumble his way through raising a local calamity#he still thinks he’s having fever dreams#but on the off chance that he’s not he needs to provide a stable environment for the king of curses child edition#meanwhile Sukuna: I’ve had Yuji for exactly one day but I would commit atrocities in his name#Yuji trying to find the heian era version of google and type ask: can i take the child version of my nemesis back to the future#and try to give him a better life?#[insert loading screen]#jjk#jjk fic#fic rec#jujutsu kaisen#fanfiction#sneak peek#Sukuna#ryomen sukuna#yuji itadori#Yuji and Sukuna#sukuna and yuji#alternate universe#time travel shenanigans#time travel fic
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Some Thoughts™ about PUSSS (Potential Upcoming Sex Scene Scenarios)
Oh god I'm dying of curiosity oh god
These scenarios depend on 2 factors: 1) when the scene happens in terms of the 3-act structure, and 2) who, specifically, is getting nasty. Is the sex scene going to be in Act 2 specifically, or is that a blanket warning for the next 2 acts together? I'm not sure 🤨 🤔
So, in response to these incredibly pressing questions, I have come up with the following ideas:
If it's in Act 2 and...
Caitvi: I highly doubt it's going to be real - I'd be willing to bet it's a drunken dream or hallucination of Vi's after her downward spiral starts, which... you know, totally understandable 🥺
Not Caitvi: I doubt it'll be Mel/Jayce 2.0 as they appear to be otherwise occupied 😬 Sevika, maybe (I wish), but I don't think so, I don't think they'd allocate screentime and resources for that, as much as I'd love it because I KNOW in my SOUL that Sevika can FUCK... As for Timebomb - they'd need to do a LOT of heavy lifting wrt their relationship in, considering the quick pacing of this season, a very short amount of time to sell that, and I don't see that happening, I just don't think it's possible to execute it that well. There's also Ambessa and whichever twink she's choosing to obliterate. Last option, and one that pains me to consider, is Caitlyn and a rando. She's also dropping straight towards rock bottom and making bad and impulsive choices - meaningless breakup rebound sex with a random hot girl is something I can see her doing tbh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (I think Vi is going to be too busy fighting, self-isolating, and frankly too drunk for this to be a choice that she makes, compared to Cait)
If it's in Act 3 and...
Caitvi: I'd be willing to bet on it happening after they reconcile, or near the end of the series - maybe even in the last episode. Who knows?
Not Caitvi: idk, could be anyone
Looking at all this, I'm willing to bet, say... 85 to 15 that it's going to be Caitvi. The question I have is when, because that's going to drastically affect and set the tone for the scene. I will say that, personally, I hope a Caitvi sex scene isn't a dream without something (like a real sex scene happening in Act 3 👀) to soften that impact - "it's not real!" would feel like something of a cop-out to me, and I'm sure a lot of viewers would be hurt by the writers making that choice, but... we'll see.
Thoughts? Comments? Let me know what you think is going to go down (aside from the lesbians on each other at some point 🥰)
#arcane spoilers#arcane#arcane speculation#arcane season 2 spoilers#caitvi#piltover's finest#arcane season 2#i DO think we're going to get romantic timebomb because didn't reed basically confirm it? lol#but tbh i'd feel kinda weird watching a timebomb sex scene... like... i know they're legal adults but they're also my kids? you feel?#i can see them kissing or maybe it being implied they had sex but on screen? i don't see that happening tbh#but imagine if we get TWO caitvi sex scenes... someone would have to bring me back to life#idk if that will happen but it's nice to dream 😊#if you read all of this you're a goat tbh lol
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