#I guess I’m making some kind of progress even though I don’t care to be doing that

[dex-starr]

Oh wow someone that thinks I’m physically attractive is someone I think is like physically attractive too

[cinnamorollcrybaby]

Can’t live without your love inside me now

Tags: sextherapist!Nanami x fem!reader, nocurse!au, taboo romance, heavy topics such as sexual assault, dead dove due to the power imbalance and heavy conversation.

Synopsis: In which Kento Nanami is a sex therapist, and his client is a young neglected wife with an emotionally absent husband. He teaches you what love is really all about.

An: Was really on the fence about posting the first part to this series. i’m glad most people seem to be enjoying it though :) so sit down and let sextherapist!nanami be your comfort for today

Part one. | Part two. |

‘I guess it makes me feel like I’m not good enough for him. Every time we have sex I try to cater to him, but it just feels like it’s never enough. If he had it his way, we’d probably have sex everyday, but I just don’t have that kind of time, energy, or desire.’

Those words burned Nanami’s ears. He knows it’s only your first session, but he can see that there’s already progress being made just by having these discussions of sex out in the open..

It reminded him just why he was so passionate about safe sex measures.

“I was only going to take the tea to placate you…”

Even if he knew that was the truth behind your answer, it still left a heavy somber feeling on his heart. He nodded, keeping his face trained on an empathetic expression.

“Do you do that often..? Put your needs behind the wants of others..?”

God, why was he reading you to filth right now? You took a deep shaky breath, reaching for more tissues because you’re definitely going to need them.

“It’s just easier..” Your throat feels like it’s trying to close as you’re attempting to force back your tears.

“Shh, let it all out..” Nanami knows that he shouldn’t be taking this tone of voice with you. He shouldn’t be shushing you and cooing to you that it’s okay, but he can’t override his innate biological need to protect and nurture.

The tears begin falling down your cheeks once again, and your shoulders shake with each small sob that wracks your body.

Nanami can’t resist himself. He leans over, and his big thick palm rests on your shoulder, feeling like a secure anchor out in the middle of the ocean.

“Such a kind, caring soul..” he whispers to you, using his hand to rub on your shoulder soothingly.

You feel the urge to press your face into his chest and vent out all of your innermost feelings and thoughts to this man while he strokes your hair lovingly, but you hold yourself still in your chair, knowing it’d be highly inappropriate.

Soon, your tears dry and you take a sobering breath. That was a lot, and the session isn’t even over yet.

“So, what do I do about.. him hounding me..?” For some reason, you still can’t come to terms with using the word coercion. It feels like a betrayal to your marriage, even if you do implicitly know that he’s been coercing you to get what he wants.

“Well, what can you do?” Nanami asked softly. He eased back into his chair, preparing himself mentally to get back in his counselor mindset.

“I guess I could…” you search your mind for answers. The only obviously wrong answer is to continue giving into him. “I could tell him how it stresses me out when he does that.”

Nanami nods his head. Inwardly, he doesn’t think that’s going to be enough. If your husband was anywhere near a halfway decent person, he would be able to understand how asking multiple times is inappropriate.

“What do you think will get in your way from telling him about how it makes you feel?”

You imagine telling your husband and how he’d react. “I guess I can be scared of him going in the complete opposite…”

Nanami’s eyebrows furrow, and he pushes his glasses up on his nose. “What do you mean by that?”

“Like… I imagine telling him, and he’ll probably respond by saying that he’ll never ask again and that I’ll need to initiate sex anytime I want it.”

Nanami can feel his eye twitch. Is there any manipulation tactic that your husband isn’t using? “I can see how that’d be discouraging. You unfortunately can’t control how your husband responds, but you can control how you phrase the question. Let’s roleplay this conversation if that’s okay. Pretend I’m your husband.”

Your face heats a bit. A tiny voice in your head tells you that if Nanami was your husband, you wouldn’t be having this issue. After taking a deep breath, you try and pretend that you’re speaking to your husband.

“When you ask me to have sex with you multiple times in a day, it really stresses me out and puts a lot of pressure on me.”

“So? What do you want me to do, Y/n? Am I suppose to read your mind and know when you want it?” Kento’s voice is uncharacteristically sharp and irritated. He watches your eyes widen in response, hurt coils on your face. “Is that how he’d respond?” he adds in a much softer tone, trying to remind you that this is just a roleplay exercise.

After a long pause, “Yeah, you got it spot on somehow…”

Because I know how narcissistic assholes act, he thinks to himself.

“Let’s try that question again, but this time, I want you to phrase your statement so you put blame on the questions and not your husband, okay?”

“Okay,” you breathe out, trying to find the words to say. “Those types of questions make me feel really pressured and make it hard for me to feel ready for sex.”

“Perfect. You did so well,” Nanami praises you with a warm smile.

Butterflies swarm your stomach. It’s not often you hear those words instead of hearing more things you need to work on. A small, timid smile curls on your lips.

“Do you think he’ll react poorly to that too?” you ask, wanting to know Nanami’s opinion.

“There’s no way for me to know how he’ll respond, but there’s only one way to find out, right? If we get no where with this plan, we’ll do something else,” he assures you, sitting back in his chair.

His eyes flick down to his watch. The session needs to come to an end soon, but the thought of you walking out of his home makes his stomach feel tight. He’s not ready to let you leave yet.

“Let’s briefly touch on the second thing—“

Your phone’s ringtone interrupts Nanami’s words, and you quickly apologize before fishing your phone out of your purse.

“It’s my husband. He’s probably wondering how much longer I’ll be.” You click the reject button and lock your phone, but Nanami can see how the simple act of rejecting his call makes you feel nervous. Your fingers shook lightly, and you gave him a tight-lipped smile.

“That’s okay. We can wrap it up here for today… During our next session…”

The sound of vibration fills the room this time.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Nanami. He gets worried..”

More like controlling. It’s just barely been one hour.

“Send him a small text and let him know we’re almost done.” Nanami gives a kind smile, even while he’s having violent thoughts about your husband.

He watches as your fingers fly across your keyboard, quickly typing out a small message. You then lock your phone again, stow it away in your purse, and you return your gaze back to Nanami.

If you keep your husband waiting too much longer, you’ll hear about it later today.

“During our next session, I want you to tell me how it went with your husband. I also would like to touch base on the next thing you said while we talked about your lack of sex drive. You mentioned that you try to cater to him, but it’s never enough. We’ll get into what that means next time, okay?” Nanami says, finally getting his words out without an interruption.

You swallow thickly, immediately feeling nervous for the next session. You’re not sure if you’re ready to talk about the act of having sex, but you knew it’d come up eventually.

“Okay… I’ll see you then, Mr. Nanami. Take care,” you wish him farewell before rising from the small couch. Nanami rises with you and guides you toward his front door.

His eyes can’t help but glance down towards your figure, and he feels his hatred for your husband grow. He must not truly understand how lucky he is to have a wife like you.

“Take care, Y/n. You have my number if you need to come in earlier than scheduled.”

As soon as the front door closes, you dial your husband’s number, ready to explain that the session went over in timing.

Meanwhile, Nanami also picks up his phone, and he dials a peer’s number, Atsuya Kusakabe. Nanami’s known Kusakabe since they were in graduate school together. They often shared phone calls with each other and their other friend, Hiromi Higuruma. While Higuruma wasn’t a therapist, he did work in legal, which helped Kusakabe and Nanami out a lot with legal questions.

After a few rings, Kusakabe answered the phone. “Hello?”

“Hey, you’re not in a session, are you?” Nanami asks, holding his phone between his ear and his shoulder. He pours water into his kettle to start on some tea.

“I wouldn’t have answered if I was in one. I only do intakes today, and I finished those up hours ago. Why? You needing to talk?” Kusakabe’s voice sounds even more gravely over the phone than it does in person. Nanami imagines he’s probably enjoying a cigarette right now.

“Yeah, I just got out of a first session with a female patient. It’s weighing on me.”

“I don’t know how you do what you do, Nanami. You know, you’d probably have a better quality of life if you focused on something else.”

“Not an option. I didn’t spend years of my life researching to do something else. This also isn’t weighing on me like my other cases do.” Nanami leans against one of his kitchen counters, looking up towards the ceiling. He debates on not telling Kusakabe at all about how your case. If he tells him how he feels, that means he has to acknowledge that it’s teetering on breaking ethical code.

“Well? Go on.”

“My client has a piss poor excuse for a husband, and I’m pretty sure the story runs a lot deeper than what is being said.”

“Jeez Ken, you said this was her first session, right? Of course there’s more to the story. That’s a given. You think there’s abuse going on?” Kusakabe flicks his cigarette, looking out into his property. He always enjoyed the quiet life way more, which is why he did career counseling. It was way less stressful.

“I know there’s at least emotional abuse going on. I can tell she’s not even aware of the levels of manipulation her husband is using. I had to bite my tongue several times throughout our session.”

A chuckle sounds from the other side of the phone.

“Don’t tell me you’re already partial to this woman, Ken.”

Nanami doesn’t respond immediately. His jaw tenses slightly. Luckily, the tea kettle whistling breaks the slight tension. “I just care. That’s all.”

“You wouldn’t be doing this job if you didn’t care, but do you care too much to do your job effectively?”

Taglist: @theuniversesnepobaby @aldebrana @pandabiene5115 @petrichorvzlia @stargirl-mayaa @simssssssss5 @des-todoroki @nevvynev @dysphxriaii @rjreins @sukunawhores @nanamin-chan @mullermilkshake @thelostkira @anuncalledbridge @elliehenry24 @williamafton26 @ambiguouslady42 @airandyeah

[gggukniverse]

take me down slow | jjk

title: take me down slow

pairing: jeon jungkook x f!reader

genre: m, smut, established relationship au

summary: jungkook is back home from work and even if you've missed him a lot, you let him rest tonight. though, out of all night, you have a wet dream tonight. and even if jungkook is tired, he's happy to take care of you.

warnings: dom!jk sub!reader, needy reader and sleepy koo 🥹, a little bit of oral (m receiving), a little bit of fingering too, unprotected sex (pls be safe), degradation (jk calls reader a whore like one time), daddy kink, kink discovery, creampie, just basically some lazy sleepy sex... until it's not so lazy.

wordcount: 2.2k

note: HELLO !!! 🫡 this is just a little story i wrote a long time ago and since part 3 of basic needs is still a work in progress i wanted to give you something to read while you wait :) this one is not edited at all so don't expect the greatest thing. either way, i hope you enjoy it 🩷

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you open your eyes with a gasp and when you take in the dark room you realize it was just a dream. it felt too real. you can almost still feel jungkook”s hands all over your body, well, you kind of actually feel them now.

jungkook is fast asleep by your side, your legs tangled together while your arm is thrown over his middle and his is wrapped around your waist to keep you close to him even in his unconscious state.

he came home from work yesterday, it’s been almost four weeks since the last time you two were together but that’s what being an international star does to his schedule. he got home late in the afternoon and you only got to prepare dinner together and share a comfortable and much needed talk during dinner before he said he was so jet lagged and he needed to go to sleep. you needed him so bad but didn’t say a word, just went to bed with him and fell asleep together.

but out of all nights, you had to have a stupid wet dream tonight.

you’re actually sweating, your skin is hot and your underwear is starting to feel uncomfortable because you can feel it’s soaked. and jungkook is sleeping. he’s peacefully sleeping with his pouty mouth and furrowed eyebrows. you feel so bad but you need him even more, so you guess you can feel bad about it tomorrow morning.

you shift a little and get closer to his neck, giving his skin sweet little kisses as you slowly start to rut your hips against him to try and find any kind of friction on your crotch. like a bitch in heat, that’s what you feel like.

a groan escapes jungkook’s mouth at one specific suck to the side of his neck and his hand twitches where it’s placed on your waist.

“baby.” you whisper in his ear.

“yeah...” he only groans with that sleepy rasp to his voice you missed so much.

“i’m so horny.” you whine as you keep rutting against his hip.

that comment alone seems to wake jungkook up. he lifts his head a little to look down at you with what you suppose is an arched eyebrow, the little light in the room coming from the city lights through the window.

“baby.. .” he says and drops his head back on the pillow, closing his eyes again. he’s tired. you feel so bad.

“i’m sorry, i.. fuck..” you feel like crying but god, you’re so horny you don’t even think your brain is working anymore.

“it’s okay, baby.” jungkook mumbles and his hand that was on your waist goes down to squeeze one of your asscheeks out of nowhere, making you whimper on his neck.

“kook.. so horny..”

“mhm.. i know.” you swear if he keeps talking with that raspy voice you could come completely untouched.

“want you so bad.” your hand goes down to cup him over his sweatpants. he’s soft but you can definitely feel him twitching a little at the contact.

“make me hard, baby.” jungkook squeezes your asscheek again, making you moan.

“yes!” you quickly get up on your knees and throw the comforter away from his body, wasting no time in pushing his sweats down.

“good girl.” your boyfriend praises, his hand going to your hair when you bend over to blow air on his soft dick teasingly.

“missed you so much,” you take him into your hand and start giving his head little licks, feeling it slowly starting to harden on your hand. “missed your cock in my mouth.”

“missed your mouth too.” jungkook hums as he brushes your hair out of your face so he can see you.

“you’re so hot..” you whine when you feel him getting to full hardness just in a matter of seconds. you put it in your mouth, your lips wrapping around him and drowning in the groan that escapes jungkook’s mouth.

“that’s my girl.” the praise makes you so wet you could feel it running down your thighs if your underwear wasn’t soaking all of it.

you bob your head a few times to get him wet enough and pull away with a desperate moan, “kook, i need you.”

“i know, come here.” he pats his thighs. you work quickly, sitting down on his thighs and leaning down to catch his lips in a desperate kiss, trying not to grind against his cock.

“i love you.”

“i love you too baby,” jungkook chuckles fondly against your mouth. “c’mon, sit that pretty pussy on this cock, yeah?” he gives you one last kiss before putting his hands on your waist lifting the big shirt —his shirt— so he can take it off.

you’re only wearing your panties so as soon as the shirt hits the floor, jungkook groans at the sight even through te darkness in the room.

“pretty baby.” he praises, running his hands up and down your sides as you sit back on his thighs.

“i’m so wet.” you mutter, looking down at where you’re sitting in one of his thighs.

“yeah, can fucking feel it,” jungkook says. “would make you ride my thigh, but i want you on my cock,” he easily lifts you up by your hips and positions you on top of him. “take them off.”

you sit up for a second to take the ruined panties off and throw them away before sitting back down on top of him, your most sensitive part just above his cock.

“let me feel you,” jungkook brings one of his hands down and you choke on a moan when his fingers start running through your wet folds. “fuck yeah, that’s my whore, huh?”

“kook,” you whimper, grinding your hips against his hand. “fuck yes...” a little moan escapes through your lips when he slips two fingers inside.

“so little resistance, are you this needy for cock?” jungkook hums in question and you almost cry out as he slips another finger inside. you don’t tell him you’ve been using toys while he was away. either way, his fingers always feel better than any toy.

“yes, need your cock baby.”

“c’mon, sit on it.” he gives your pussy a wet slap that makes your thighs twitch for a second and then grabs the base of his cock to make it easier for you.

“okay.” you whisper and lower down, positioning on top of his cock and moaning absurdibly high when jungkook decides to drag the head of his cock through your folds.

“so wet.” he mumbles.

you think you might die if you don’t have him inside you now so you start to sink down on his cock slowly, both of you moaning in unison, until you’re sitting on top of him with his entire length inside.

“missed you so much.” you whine, feeling like you could cry.

“i missed you too baby,” he puts his hands on your hips. “so much.”

you stay there for a while, just feeling him inside as you bend down to kiss him again. he wraps his arms around you and kisses you back with so much passion you’re out of breath seconds later.

“pretty.” he looks up at you with that type of smile that makes your knees weak and you straighten up again, putting your hands on his chest for balance.

“you feel so good, kook.” you tell him because you need him to know.

“mh... yeah?” asshole.

“yes.” you moan and start grinding your hips for your pleasure, still not giving him what he wants.

“i can’t fucking see anything right now but i’m sure you’re creaming my cock so good, right?” the words make you clench around him with a whine and you hear him groan at the feeling. “so fucking tight.”

but you eventually sit up a little, letting him pull out until only his head is inside you and slowly sink down on him again. you do it slowly, still tired from how little you must’ve slept, but jungkook seems fine with it. little hums and groans escape his mouth sometimes but the time he lets out a high-pitched moan you clench so hard around him, making him moan again and grip on your hips for dear life.

“baby, god...” he breathes out. it’s clear he’s still sleepy, but it’s so fucking hot.

you lose yourself the moment his tip grazes against that spot, your hips grinding desperately for him to keep hitting it. but jungkook helps you by bending his legs a little, planting his feet on the mattress and starting to thrust up into you.

hard. you didn’t think he could be on his full potential when he’s as sleepy as he is now, but he proves you wrong fucking you so hard that you fall on top of him, your bare chest against his clothed one. yes, also the fact that he’s still half clothed and you’re completely naked makes you even wetter. but he’s slow, he gives your deep and hard thrusts but still doesn’t do it fast.

“oh my– fuck...” you breathe out against his neck, not being able to move anymore.

“feels good, baby?” he doesn’t stop fucking you, his hands also pulling your hips down to meet his thrusts so hard you know you won’t be able to walk tomorrow.

“yes daddy,” the word slips out of your mouth before you can even process it and you feel jungkook stopping completely. “fuck...” you whisper and hide your face on his neck in embarrassment. “i’m sorry, i don’t know why i said that.”

“daddy?” jungkook asks and you hate the way you don’t know what he’s thinking right now.

“i’m so sorry... fuck, that was so weird– i’m sorry baby.”

“no, let daddy hear you baby.” he suddenly starts thrusting up inside you and you let out a scream.

“kook! oh my god!” he’s fast now. fast and hard. your whole body is completely limp on top of his.

“that’s not my name, babe.”

oh fuck.

“d– daddy..” you stutter because you can’t even form words right now.

“there you go.” he chuckles and fuck, how can he chuckle while fucking you so hard, you can’t even form a single thought in your brain right now.

“fuck!” you whine when his tip keeps brushing against that sweet spot. “i’m so– i’m so close, daddy.”

“gonna cum?” he hums.

“yeah...” you cry out and the chuckle he lets out makes you clench incredibly hard around his cock.

“gonna cum on daddy’s cock?”

“fuck! yeah... yes, yes, please.” you mumble dumbly, feeling closer and closer everytime he speaks.

“please what?” jungkook hums as his hips keep that punishing pace that has you seeing stars.

“please let me cum,” you beg. “please daddy.”

“cum for me, baby.”

your orgasm washes over your whole body like a wave, leaving your legs shaking as you fall completely limp on top of his body while he keeps thrusting to cum just a few seconds after.

“fuck...” jungkook groans as he fills you up, the sensation making you squirm a little on top of him. “that’s my good girl.” he mumbles as he rubs your back up and down soothingly.

“i missed you.” you say and finally lift your head up to leave a little kiss on his lips.

“i missed you too baby,” you can see his smile even through the dark. “i’m gonna turn us around, okay?” he warns and you just nod, letting him hug your waist to flip you two around so that he’s the one on top.

“it’s gonna be messy.” you giggle as he positions himself on his knees to pull out.

“it’s okay, i’ll change the sheets now.” jungkook shrugs and starts to pull out, making you hiss a little in discomfort but sigh when you instantly feel his cum spilling out of you and straight onto the sheets.

you can’t help but giggle again when jungkook sits back and looks down, like he’s admiring the view.

“like what you see... daddy?” you tease as you slide your hand down your body until you get to your pussy and slip two fingers inside.

“you don’t know what you’re doing to me.” he rubs his hands up and down your thighs as he keeps his eyes down where you’re gathering some of his cum with your fingers. a low groan leaves his mouth when you bring your messy fingers to your mouth and suck on them, tasting him on them.

“missed your taste.”

“you better stop that shit before i get hard again,” he warns you and you break in laughter. “wanna have a quick shower?” he asks.

“yeah, i’m a little sweaty and i feel gross.” you nod as you sit up. he nods.

“mh, i’ll change the sheets while you shower, okay? i’ll join you in a minute.”

“okay.” you smile and lean closer to him to steal another sweet kiss before getting up from the bed and making your way to the bathroom, turning the lights on first.

“baby.”

you turn around at that and jungkook looks up and down your naked body before saying, “i really missed you.”

you smile. “i missed you too.”

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A/N: i hope you liked this story !!!!! please feel free to comment or send me an ask telling me what you thought of it, feedback helps a lot ! see you in the next one :) 🫂💐

[rrenzwrld]

nobody else, nothing else

connie x bimbo cheerleader!black reader

finally got a chance to continue this concept! i actually like how it turned out even though it doesn’t show the whole bimbo cheerleader aspect. i just got carried away into the fic but i might think up more hcs…anyways enjoy!

ever since connie asked you out and your relationship progressed, he felt pressure. he felt some kind of pressure from anyone who’s ever known you or him to do things that he wasn’t used to doing.

“she’s high maintenance.” he knew that and didn’t mind catering to you whenever he could. you were the sweetest person ever and deserved the world.

“she’s way out of your league man. ain’t no way you pulled that” maybe you were but if you didn’t care, neither did he.. at least he tried not to. you were beautiful, smart, funny, sexy, kind, everything someone would only get in a dream.

“she’s too good for you. you don’t know how to handle her” they spoke of you as if you could be handled like a pet or something. like you were this wild animal he had to tame or you’d spiral out of control. most of the time connie didn’t care about what was said but if he was left with his thoughts for too long, it’d be good for no one.

“connie, you been ignoring and avoiding me. why?” he couldn’t tell you that.

“there’s a lot of stuff on my mind.”

“what, so you don’t have time for me anymore? you have time for basketball and everything else.”

“it’s not you.”

“that’s hard to believe.”

“y/n.. can you please? i don’t wanna talk right now.” you were visibly hurt. he could never tell you to go away but something was different today. he didn’t wanna let you see him in a way that you weren’t used to seeing

“oh really?” he could see your body shift at his words and it hurt him to see you like that but he didn’t wanna burden you with his insecurities. “well,” you looked down at your shoes. “let me know whenever you’re ready to talk.” he knew how you operated and even though you insinuated that your lines of communication would be open to him still, that phrase for you only meant that you’d have your phone on dnd for the rest of the day and there was no getting through to you until the end of it.

the day went on and connie found himself standing outside of the door of your last class, waiting for you to walk out of it. his thoughts had been consuming him all day but all he wanted was you in his arms to take all of that away. he couldn’t afford for you to be upset with him right now.

“y/n.” connie grabbed your arm as he saw you nearly walk past without acknowledging him. you looked at the loose grip on your arm.

“constance.”

“stop that.”

“stop what?”

“that. being childish, you know i don’t like when you call me that.”

“and i don’t like when you’re not honest with me.” you crossed your arms stern over your chest, letting him know you weren’t backing down from the topic at hand earlier.

“ay, tesoro…can we please not do this right now?” you shrugged.

“maybe not now but we have to talk about it after practice. promise?” you held out your pinky. of course connie wouldn’t tell anyone his feelings if he didn’t have to but it was you. he wanted to be able to do anything for you so he intertwined his pinky with yours.

“good. call me later?”

“of course, i love you.” he leaned in to quickly place a peck on your cheek before he left to get ready for practice while you waited for your mom to get you because you didn’t have cheer practice that day.

when practice was over, connie went home and make sure all his stuff was done before he decided to call you. the two of you called each other almost every night but this particular call was making him nervous.

“i’m guessing you’re ready to talk?” connie sighed loudly and you giggled at how annoyed he was but you pondered about why sharing his feelings was so difficult with you.

“i guess so.”

“so, what’s been going on? what’s been on your mind?” connie didn’t think he’d have to address these particular concerns with you and was worried as to if you’d judge him or not even though that wasn’t your character.

“just…some insecurities, that’s all.”

“elaborate, please?”

“people say i don’t deserve you and i don’t like how that makes me feel.” you didn’t like how that made you feel either and connie’s softened tone hadn’t made it easier. “makes me feel like a shitty boyfriend, ya know? like what do they think i’m doing wrong? am i doing anything wrong? what’s wrong with me? do you really deserve bette—“

“baby.” you interrupted his rambling. “you’re perfect, okay? you have nothing to prove to me and especially not to whoever is saying those things to you.” you sweet voice calmed connie over the phone but he knew he’d feel much better if he had one of your hugs to pair along with it. “i love you, you love me and that’s all that matters. nobody else, nothing else, alright?” connie stayed quiet for a moment before answering.

“yeah.”

“nobody else, nothing else.” in the back of connie’s mind, he didn’t think he deserved you. he believed he was too flawed for you and you were supposed to have someone as perfect as yourself. but you didn’t care about any of that. you loved connie for connie and no matter how imperfect he thought he was, he was perfect for you.

“now, how was practice?”

[scrubbinn]

_____ HRT: 15 months: “Human”

“Hey Mayday. How's my girlfriend doing today?... I hope you can hear me in there. I'm recording another tape for you in case you forget everything again. I just got back from the doctor, they ran some tests, still couldn't figure out what's up with my knee. I think maybe I'm just cursed, with this broken human body. I guess you don't have to deal with that now huh? Lucky.”

“It just sucks, you know? Not a single medical doctor in Canada can tell me what's wrong and then when suddenly, magic exists, it gets regulated so you can't use it for medicine! Ugh. Rules are dumb, why do we even have them. Also sucks that I have to walk here every time I miss you. Which is a lot. Why does everything have to be so shit?”

“Speaking of shit, you should have heard me go off on that doc when you first started… cocooning? I’m blanking on the word. But I just went off on that man, It felt so good just to throw everything back in that pompous jerk's face! He had it coming, you have no idea how long I've been waiting to go off on a medical professional. He does have his uses, I suppose. You weirdly seem to like him, and at least he can put in enough effort to care about your physical health. But you should have seen how he reacted to you, he makes me so, so, so, AAAAARG! Sorry, you don't like yelling right?”

“You know, when I heard about you passing out nearly half a year ago, I thought, this is it, I'm going to lose her forever. I guess I did, when she decided to forget me. That's not fair, I just, I can't help still being mad about it. After everything we went through, and everything you went through with our friends and family. This really meant more than all of those memories put together? God you're such a dummy. I wish I could understand you.”

“Getting to meet you all over again, I didn't hate it like I thought I would. No matter the memories, it really was still you. Just, a little different. Sorry I kept pushing you to remember something… Maybe it was wrong of me. But every time I saw your face, your eyes looked back like they were trying to remember anything. It made me kind of happy, like I was important enough that some small part of you didn’t want to let go of me. I thought we were making progress. But if we have to do it again when you come out. I might actually start to hate it.”

“...Hey, you are happy right? This is what you wanted, yeah? You know I'm ok with you not being human. When you told me you were thinking about this, I supported it. Though, I'm still having trouble getting used to it. I don't really know how to feel now that you're like this. I just, I want what makes you happy, and I know you want the same for me. It's just been difficult right now. To keep smiling. I… I went to that sushi place we were going to go to. They had really good unagi. I ate so much I could barely afford the bill, haha. I know if I go there again without you, it's just going to taste like nothing. If you're not there with me, what's the point? This moment. The world has color again, I can taste things again when I'm in this room, and it hurts so much because you're not here. I'm sorry I… I'm trying not to cry in front of you hun. I'm sorry.”

* * *

“You don't mind if I stay here tonight do you hun? I don't really feel like walking back home right now. When I’m with you I- um, hello?”

“Oh didn’t realize anyone else was here? You’re Abigail right?”

“And your May’s mom right?” Are you here to see her?”

“Yes, I haven’t actually checked in since I heard the news. Is that. Her?”

“Pretty sure yeah. Unless there’s another girlfriend shaped cocoon that I missed. D- Do you need a tissue?”

“No, I’ll be fine, thank you… Pardon, but would you be able to answer a question? I don’t really understand this whole therian thing. I’m still a little shocked when Mich- Mayday said she was doing this sort of thing in the first place. I’m fine with it, I support her. But, did she need to do this?”

“Huh, what do you mean?”

“Well I mean, did she need to change? Isn’t it just safer to hide? She’s doing such a brave thing but there are so many people that might hurt her. It's my job to worry about her, and I know this city is better and all with this sort of thing, but what if she gets attacked when she visits, what am I supposed to tell my sister if she asks what Mayday is up to. My family doesn't even know her name is Mayday now.”

“...Oh. Oh, this is weird seeing it from an outsider perspective.”

“I'm sorry? What do you mean?”

“It's that you don't get it, I mean I forgot it until now, but you don't understand. It would have been more dangerous if she didn't do this. She's in pain, her gender, Her body, her species. They don't match her brain. It's not like it's a choice either. She's hurting. Her staying human, she might have made worse choices. Ugh, I'm sorry hun. I should have realized how much this means to you, I'll be here, for real this time. I'll be here for y…

Oh my god, it's tearing. G-g-go! Get a doctor!”

“What? Oh! Uh, right!”

“Hun! Can you hear me? It's me! Follow my voice!”

“A…b…i…

Mimic HRT: 15 months: “no longer”

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Mention list: @a-shramp, @calliecwrites, @be702, @respectfulevil, @hyacinthdoll1315, @aster-is-confused, @bloodandbrandywine

[hinatashiftz]

Starting Clean

3rd BOYNEXTDOOR DR

W.C 3.3K | Warnings/Genre: Entirely Fluff from start to finish with small mentions of anxiety and fear of heights. Predebut BoyNextDoor era, mentions of stomach ache, dizziness and headache from lack of food, mentions of eating, finally growing closer to Dongmin, eating ice cream and having deep late night talks

A lot of my realities that I have I usually mentally script a significant other with a mentally scripted way of how everything leading to the confession is going to go. I still left the previous lore I had before but it changed around a little; I had been a trainee at JYP since 2020 but transferred companies to KOZ in January of 2022. However, I thought, how about I throw all of scripted s/o away and just shift. Just shift and see what the universe/ my subconscious has in mind. I shifted while I took a nap and was only there for a day-

May 1st, 2023

It’s 29 days until our official debut and even though our debut is around the corner, I’m not exactly close with everyone. As said previously, I had only been a trainee since January of 2022, only for a year i’ve known the guys and was quickly added into BOYNEXTDOOR. I got close with Jaehyun pretty quickly, me and him bond and talk to each other as if we’ve known each other our whole life but we haven’t.

Sungho, Woonhak, and Riwoo/Sanghyuk were next on the list of people who I got close with, I was surprised I was able to get close with Riwoo as fast as I did with how introverted he can be but as an extrovert, I guess it makes sense. Leehan/Donghyun and I are friends, we aren’t exactly close and he’s a work in progress.

Taesan/Dongmin however, is a bigger work in progress than the rest have been. It’s pretty evident from the way he presents himself to people that he has quite a bit of walls up. Since he’s in the same group as me and we live together, I know a little bit about him. His fashion style, his hobbies, his taste in music interest me and makes me want to become his friend and know more but it’s hard. I’ve always been the kind of person that likes making friends even with people who don’t open up as easily as other people do and their shell is harder to crack than most. I used to be someone similar to Dongmin who had a hard time opening up to people for the first time and I still do at times, I know that sometimes you struggle at first to talk but it doesn’t mean you don’t want to you’re just nervous and you just need that someone who is willing to be there for you and try and put the effort into caring. That’s who Dongmin is.

I want to say he isn’t too stubborn about letting some walls down but it’s been a year since I’ve known him and lived with him and known the bare minimum that everybody in the group knows.

However, enough backstory and let me get into the day that I had. Our manager agreed that on our last free day before our debut that it would be okay for the guys and I to go to Lotte World. I brought my two friends Rose and Ethan along for the ride because why not, the guys don’t mind them either. They have been my friends for awhile now and have met them a bunch of times within the past year and love them.

As soon as we arrived, we all had planned in the car that we wanted to go on the Gyro Spin as our first ride.

Which wasn’t a good idea with an almost empty stomach. None of us got sick but just experienced some dizziness, headache and stomach ache.

WHICH THEN, lead us to the food court IMMEDIATELY AFTER. After a quick discussion on our shared experience and feelings, we QUICKLY decided it was a result of lack of food. We ordered everything that this food court had to offer. I had boneless chicken wings with fries and ate some of Jaehyun’s tteokbokki which he didn’t mind too much.

“ OKAY- NEXT RIDE? We need to figure out the next ride right now and go before this place starts packed” Woonhak stated as he was finishing his food and looked around at everyone for confirmation

“ That’s a good Idea “ Sungho stated

“ YES, I don’t wanna wait ALL DAY in the lines”

Jaehyun stated at the same time which led to Donghyun, who stated

“ It’s not a problem if we wait in a line though. Some of the rides we want to go on are indoors and we don’t have schedules all day.”

“ You’re not wrong.. but I agree with Jaehyun- “ I said with a laugh

“ I’m really impatient and my legs start to hurt-“

I continued and Jaehyun nodded his head repeatedly

“ YEAH “ He replied confidently and Woonhak nodded along with Dongmin who also nodded his head.

“ Wait so we are done getting food today?” Rose asked and Sanghyuk smiled at them and shook his head

“ We can get more later, I wanted some desserts..” Sanghyuk noted, continuing to smile softly as he looked down at his phone then looked around

“ So when should we go?” He added

I looked down at the map we had laid out on the table, I rested my head into my hand which was on the table.

“ We should stick around this area since we are already here..” I mumbled loud enough for everyone at the table to hear

“ THE CONQUISTADOR- ROSE YOU HAVE TO GET ON THE CON-“ Ethan exclaimed before he was cut off by rose

“ THERE IS NO WAY YOU ARE GETTING ME ON THAT-“

“ WAIT WE SHOULD GO ON THAT ONE, PLEASE” Woonhak joined in and smacked onto the table like they were drums

“ I REALLY WANNA GO ON THAT ONE TOO, LETS GO NOW “ Jaehyun stated as he quickly got up from the table, grabbing the map along with his phone into his hands while everyone collectively got up from the table as well.

“ Who else is getting on?” Donghyun asked as we walked out the food court and began to hop towards the ride.

“ Definitely me-“ Sungho stated while Ethan, Jaehyun, and I looked at Rose with similar grin’s

“ I TOLD YOU I’M NOT GETTING ON THAT RIDE“

Rose continued on with a ramble about how nothing could convince them to get on the ride

“ COME ON IT’s REALLY FUN- RIGHT HINATA ?” Woonhak exclaimed as he began to hop after Leehan, glancing back at me for a moment

“ NO IT’s REALLY FUN, I’m just not getting on this time-“

“ Why are you convincing Rose to get on if you’re not getting on?” Dongmin asked

“ WHAT-“ Woonhak stopped in his tracks and looked back at me confused

“ WHY NOT?”

“ My stomach kinda hurts still but i’ll definitely get on the next ride “ I stated with a soft smile and everyone nodded

“ well- I was thinking about if I should get on or not.. but if you go on I’ll get on too” Sanghyuk stated as he looked back at Rose who stood there in silence for a moment before groaning

“ oh what the fuck! FINE I’LL GET ON “ Rose said while Woonhak, Jaehyun, Ethan, And I cheered.

Dongmin and I watched as everyone got in for The Conquistador while we found a seat nearby to watch them and wait for them.

It took them around 40 minutes to actually get onto the ride and most of the 40 minutes was spent of me scrolling on my phone and people watching, happily. As soon as we noticed them get onto the ride-

“ are you okay?” Dongmin asked and I looked over at him confused

“ what do you mean ?”

“ you said your stomach hurt earlier..” He mumbled, looking down at his hands that were placed in his lap

“ oh- yeah I feel better from us just waiting for them here, I’ll probably get on the next ride”

He nodded his head as he fiddled with his hands and fingers.

“ Why did you not get on?” I asked curiously

“ what?” He said looking up at me, his eyebrows curved in, in confusion

“ why did you not get on the ride?”

“ .. I didn’t want to “ He stated as he looked back down at his hands

“ do you have a fear of heights ?”

He looked up at me with a blank expression for a moment before his eyes looked everywhere besides me

“ I just don’t want to get on.” He said plainly and I laughed, pushing him softly

“ You have a fear of heights ! It’s okay though- my dad has a fear of heights and I hold his hand growing up on airplanes “

I said with another laugh and he looked at me with a very small smile then looked away again nodding

“ I do.”

“ huh-“

“ I do have a fear of heights. I don’t like rollercoasters. “ He stated as he continued to look away and I nodded

As soon as I looked up I heard the guys all come off the ride and Rose who held Sanghyuk and Ethan close to them who began to complain about how scary the ride was but how fun it was along with Jaehyun, Woonhak, Donghyun, and Sungho who were still having laughing fits from the ride.

Dongmin and I got up from where we were sitting and joined them. I looked around and quickly pointed to The Flume Ride, which is a water ride.

“ CAN WE GO ON THAT ONE, I HAVE BEEN LOOKING AT THAT ONE FOR THE LONGEST-“

“ YES YES YES-“

“ FUCK YES “

I laughed loudly and grabbed onto Ethan and Jaehyun as everyone followed along with us as we headed towards the ride. Giggling to ourselves like little kids.

Before we got into line, I looked around and met eyes with Dongmin.

“ Are you going to get on ?” I asked with a grin and my eyebrow up

“ No, I don’t like rides I told you” He said in a soft tone looking at the ride then back at me

“ It’s just a water ride, I know you have a fear of heights but I promise this one is really fun and it’s not a big drop and it ends really fast- YOU WON’T EVEN REMEMBER THE DROP-“ I rambled like I was being timed, practically begging Dongmin to get on.

I could see Dongmin fighting the smile that was wanting to get on his face and he nodded his head repeatedly and began walking in the line

“ sure i’ll get on-“

“ DONGMIN IS GETTING ON A RIDE?” Woonhak exclaimed

Jaehyun and Leehan quickly went to him and began to tease him and laugh as he waited in line with us, who looked very nervous. I was kinda happy though that he still agreed to get on, did I beg.. perhaps.. but still

Another 40 minutes went by but a lot quicker since we were all together. The ride staff looked at everyone and asked who was gonna be riding where and with who. Only four people could fit in the log and we were nine.

“ You should get with your friends” Donghyun stated and Jaehyun agreed

“ okay but who’s coming with us?” I asked and looked at the guys who looked at each other contemplating life

“ I’ll go.” Dongmin suggested and stepped up

My eyes widen as to how willing he was to go first out of all the guys.

“ You sure..?” I leaned in and asked softly.

He looked at me in my eyes and nodded his head.

“ Well okay! Dongmin is coming with us then! “ I exclaimed with a smile and looked back at Ethan and rose who were getting in their spots.

Ethan sat in the front and Rose sat behind him in the second seat.

“ You don’t want the last seat, I’ll sit in the last one”

“ Why not?” He asked

“ Sitting in the back seat is like sitting in the front seat but worse in my opinion.. but I like rides a lot more than you do so I have no problem with it” I said and he nodded, listened and sat in the third seat while I took my seat too.

As the ride began, Ethan and Rose started to bicker already and laugh at each other while Dongmin started to curse to himself which quickly grew louder the more the ride went on.

“ fuck fuck fuck fuck I shouldn’t have got on- I don’t know how I let you convince me- I don’t know why I let you convince me” Dongmin rambled and I laughed, leaning in slightly and placing my hand onto his shoulder, rubbing it softly.

“ You will be okay I promise ! It’ll end so fast you won’t even remember !”

“ I don’t know why I let you convince me” He repeated and started to whine and groan.

“ Hold my hand- “ I suggested

“ why-? “ He stopped as I felt his body grow tense as we began to go up

“ Just do it- the drop is coming soon” I quickly stated which he quickly responded and grabbed my hand tightly over his shoulder.

He squeezed my hand, I felt his hand trembling in mine.

“ The drop is coming- close your eyes!” I stated followed by a giggle which I couldn’t help from the excitement I felt.

I screamed from excitement and laughed loudly as we went down and the water splashed us on the way down, making me squeal louder.

I leaned in and looked at Dongmin who had his eyes barely open and was still holding my hand

“ are you okay?” I asked with a smile and he looked back at me, nodding his head slowly and quickly let go of my hand after realizing he was still holding it.

“ you sure?” I asked as the ride was slowly coming to an end and he nodded again

“ I’m okay” He stated as we eventually got back to the end and got off the ride.

The other members got on the ride shortly after us. After that ride we decided to make a stop to get desserts, which Dongmin declined.

“ why aren’t you getting anything?” I asked

He looked over at me and shrugged

“ I don’t like a lot of sweet things. I was planning on getting this ice cream brand I like after this by myself at the store” He stated as he sat down while the rest of us went to order.

After eating desserts with everyone, we all decided that we were a bit tired from everything especially with the long waits. We decided to pack up and go home.

As planned, Dongmin decided to go to the store quickly after we arrived at the dorm and dropped off Ethan and Rose at the Stray Kids dorm.

( They are members of Stray Kids )

I quickly put my shoes on and followed Dongmin

“ WAIT FOR ME- I didn’t get a dessert at the place and I want ice cream..” I stated as I tied my shoes and He nodded, waiting for me in the hallway as he held the door open.

We both went to the store and looked around at their ice cream options. His face lighting up and he smiled as he found his ice cream, grabbing it from the fridge.

“ You like that brand..?” I asked looking at him with a smile and he nodded his head with a smile as well

“ It’s really good, It’s not too sweet “ He said and I nodded as I grabbed a small contain similar to Haagen Daaz, I got Cookie Dough ice cream after searching for it for what felt like 20 minutes.

I gasped and grabbed it with a smile

“ Is that your favorite?” He asked and I nodded

“ It’s so good..” I mumbled

“ We can head out now unless you want something else?” I asked and he shook his head.

We headed to pay for our items and quickly went back to our dorms. He held the bag which held our ice cream and I followed him to his room since he continued to hold my ice cream, sitting on his bed and waited for him to give me my ice cream.

He reached in the back and gave me my ice cream before sitting next to me on his bed next to me. As he opened up his ice cream and we began to eat, we sat in silence for a moment which I never was upset about.

Suddenly, Dongmin began to ramble.

“ When I was a kid, I wanted to do sports. But I couldn’t do a lot of them because.. I kinda wasn’t good at it.. I couldn’t do a lot of them-especially soccer which I really wanted to do. “ He stated and I looked at him, nodding my head, listening.

“ right..” I said to show I was listening

He stopped for a moment and looked at me before continuing.

“ I tried a lot of things and some of them didn’t work. Swimming always worked though, I never did anything with it though. I never joined a team. I did it for fun, it felt free to swim. “ He stated as he continued to eat his ice cream

“ I’ve always really liked swimming, I still like it.”

“ I like swimming too, It’s really fun” I added on and he lit up a little, he smiled softly

“ I did sports.. soccer..” I said with a laugh and he pouted

“ I didn’t want to do soccer at first and I just did it to get out the house but once I played it felt so fun.. It felt different, especially when you’re running with the ball and heading towards the goal and the crowd started rooting and screaming for you. It feels really good “ I said with a smile and I looked over at him and he listened

“ I danced as well ever since I was in middle school and I took it seriously when I decided to join JYP.. but we know how JYP went and now i’m here” I said laughing

“ why did you leave JYP?” He asked, looking at me confused

“ .. Well.. I didn’t feel like-“ I began to speak as he grabbed one of his vinyls and began to play music on a low volume before looking back at me

“ sorry.. I wanted music.. I can turn it off-“

“ no it’s fine I like this, I like this album a lot” I stated and he smiled big

“ you like this album?” He asked and I nodded while laughing

“ yeah I do- but anyways “ I started and he nodded his head and apologized in a soft tone

“ it’s okay-“ I laughed

“ I didn’t feel like.. I belong there.. I felt off there everytime-everyday I just.. didn’t like it. I met good people there but the company wasn’t for me” I said and he nodded his head slowly, listening.

I looked over at the time and got up

“ I’m kinda tired.. I’m gonna head to bed” I stated and he nodded again

“ it’s good you came here” He added as I began to leave his room.

I looked back at him confused

“ huh?”

“ it’s good you came here. To KOZ.. to boynextdoor” He stated and I smiled, nodding my head

“ yeah it is..” I said softly before heading out and going to my bedroom that I share with Jaehyun.

I grabbed my clothes as I was fixing to go take a shower as Jaehyun laid in bed watching me.

“ You spoke to Dongmin a lot today” He said with a laugh

“ I’ve never seen you two talk and hang out together so much- and you convinced him to get on a ride for once which he’s never done- with me atleast “ Jaehyun continued and I laughed, nodding my head

“ I know.. we just had a deep talk too about the past. I feel really good. I’m glad he’s opening up now” I said with a smile and he nodded

“ Took him long enough, we’ve lived together for so long” He laughed loud and I nodded my head

I went into the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I leaned against the counter and smiled to myself as I thought the days events. Specifically how everything went with Dongmin.

The puzzle pieces are slowly coming together with us, with everyone, as friends and as boynextdoor. I’m happy where I am, especially with them.

// FINALLY POSTING A STORYTIME, I really wanted to talk about this one which happened today because I was genuinely so happy when I woke up bc of the fact I’m finally getting closer to him and I was ECSTATIC WHEN HE STARTED TALKING ABOUT HIS PAST ALL THE SUDDEN, I also changed my fc too impulsively

@hexrtsrexlities @ethandco - ethan

idk rose’s account but follow their tiktok @/shiftz.rose !!

[pokemenlovingmen]

Okay!! I was able to counter act the links being funky in my app by opening your blog in my mobile browser!!!! so I was able to read your rules n stuff so now I can finally request (yusss!!! also, I saw the "ingo,,, again" under the PLA characters you write for and it made me think "ingo 2,,, electric boogaloo" heheheh. also yeah fuck kamado, all my homies hate kamado)

okay, could I please request a lil drabble (if you only do hc's thats fine of course! I just couldnt find it clearly if you only do hc's) of Adaman taking care of a reader who is on bed rest and healing? the exact stuff of how and what is up to you, for me its more so the comfort and caring side, not so much the angst side (so like, nothing thats like "omg reader was near death" pls?). gender of the reader I dont mind, just do what youre most comfortable with and yee!! thank youuuu

Hi you’ve been such a kind supporter I’m sorry it took me so long to get to you!! And yeah. Fuck Kamado. That exile would have been my villain origin story if the game gave me more agency, I swear to god.

And conversely, we love Adaman. They put him in pokemas and my quality of life has improved significantly <3

Oh and I’m sorry about the lack of clarity of what I do! I do only HCs, but at the level of detail I can’t stop myself from including, they’re kinda like a weird fusion between drabble and headcanons.

Healing Takes Time — Adaman x M!Reader

💎 — Hisui is a dangerous place and injuries ranging from minor to severe are all too common. So Adaman’s not exactly a stranger to presiding over loved ones on bed rest.

💎 — Doesn’t mean he’s good at it, though.

💎 — Mai reminds him that the slow passage of time is just as important as things that happen in the quick, efficient manner that he prefers as well. It’s not a slight from Mighty Dialga being displeased, it’s just the nature of time. But he can’t just stand around when it comes to your health! Yes, rest takes time, he’s aware, but all this waiting feels the same as doing nothing to him.

💎 — Mai basically has to keep him away from you constantly because he’s always fretting over you, which is definitely sweet of him even if it’s not exactly helpful, but it is funny to watch the cartoonish shenanigans of Mai trying to constantly shoo Adaman away from the medical tent.

💎 — Even if what you’re recovering from isn’t serious, you’d never be able to guess that from how he behaves.

💎 — He essentially becomes your primary nurse and seldom lets you out of his sight if he can help it (thanks to Mai being the reasonable one, he usually can’t).

💎 — Once things calm down though, after the first two or three days when your recovery progress is becoming quite apparent, he’s less frazzled and more willing to leave you be. He just can’t help that impatience winning out, though, sometimes.

💎 — He’ll be there to help you with maintaining yourself while you rest, sitting beside your futon while you recover, brushing your hair so you don’t have to, keeping a fresh cold compress on you at all times if the problem is that you’re sick and feverish, changing your bandages if it’s an injury, all that.

💎 — If you’re okay with it, he’ll also happily bring his Leafeon to see you for some good old fashioned grass-type aromatherapy. I know Leafeon can’t actually learn the move aromatherapy, but it’s clearly made of plants and must have some kind of floral/herbal smell.

💎 — And since we know he is a house husband in the making guy with an interest in cooking, you bet he’ll be bringing you all manner of home-cooked meals.

💎 — He’s so dutiful, oftentimes he doesn’t go back to his own tent for the night and will instead fall asleep on the cold floor next to your futon.

💎 — Adaman is very sure to keep you abreast of all goings-on in the clan, usually nothing much of interest, but he does uncharacteristically bring you all sorts of gossip. It’s not that he likes to gossip, but while you’re bedridden he can’t think of much to entertain you with so this is what he’s settled on. And also he probably would like to vent his multitude of frustrations with Melli specifically because you just know 3/5 instances of drama involve some kind of category 5 Melli moment.

💎 — Once you start to recover and leave your bedridden state, he’s still just as present as he was before.

💎 — If it was an injury he’s always making sure you’re not overexerting yourself, and if it’s something that happened to your legs, he’s volunteering to help you walk around so you don’t put too much pressure on the injury.

💎 — For illness he’ll always be on your case about taking whatever medicines/remedies you were instructed to, because your recovery has already taken ages (to him) already, and he’s not sure he can bear seeing you sick for much longer.

💎 — Regardless of the reason you’re bedridden, he’ll always give you a kiss on the forehead when he enters the tent and before he leaves—though if you’re sick, he musters the self control to wait. Ideally he can keep that up, but he might get a little impatient… oh well. He needs to remind you how much he loves you, and if he ends up getting what you have, he knows you’ll care for him just as dutifully as he did you.

[jenanigans1207]

YO, HEY,

Okay okay so I have not progressed through Link Click as quickly as I would like, however despite my confusion, I am enjoying it! I know this is one of those series where I just have to keep watching, keep going to understand the plot, understand the rules and I will NOT, I WILL NOT spoil this for myself (as I have done with other shows in the past). I think I am on Episode 6. So far :

I love the opening!

The dial tone at the end of each episode gives me chills every time, damn.

Lu Guang always looks so tired. Poor guy. Also SO random but I love any time the eyes of a character glow as a result of their power. It is just so cool to me (Sun-Jinwoo from Solo Leveling, pops int omind). I think I can already guess a big part of why his personality is the way it is (trauma/what kind, but it is too late to know for sure if my budding theories are correct). I know he does care deep down, he holds a lot of pain inside of him, and I think that is going to play a HUGE part in his chracter development, conflict and relationship with Cheng Xiaoshi.

Cheng Xiaoshi , PLEASE. This poor boy. Episode 4 I think it was? NO. NO NO PLEASE. That was brutal. He is so unguarded, so emotional, so empathetic. It is a great weakness, and a great flaw. It makes him both perfect and and wrong for the job he does. When he returned, I could see it really did hurt Lu Guang to see him like that.

His personality and that of Lu Guang are so blatantly contrasted, energetic vs. calm, emotional vs. calculated, impulsive vs. calm. Guarded/hardened vs. youthful.

I WAS going to watch an episode tonight, but it is almost midnight and I had a long day. But TOMORROW AND THIS WEEKEND I WILL GET BACK ON IT.

Omg I love this and please keep me up to date as you keep watching!!!

The opening to s1 is my most listened to Spotify song of the year so far and Spotify did call me out for listening to it 112 times in a week, so. And yes!!! The dial tone!!! Even if I hear it now out of context it gives me those chills. It’s just the right amount of suspenseful and eerie and really cool, I love it so much!

Lu Guang is my favorite, by a thin margin. And I’m so excited for you to get to see some of the things that have given him the pain that he carries. I honestly need to go back and watch season 1 now that I’ve finished the whole show and know more because I’m so certain there’s little clues that I missed because I didn’t have the whole picture yet.

And Cheng Xiaoshi is a darling, precious angel who must be protected at all costs. He is everything that is good and right with humanity and I love him. The fact that he’s been through so much and is still so open and caring? Ugh, he’s perfect. I just adore him too!!

I can’t say too much because I don’t want to spoil anything for you but oh BOY am I excited for you to watch season 2. I don’t think my heart rate was below like 150 for the whole season. It’s SO suspenseful!! But it’s so, so good. I cried a lot during season 2 though, fair warning!!

I’m so glad you are enjoying it though and please please please keep me updated! Feel free to live scream to me in dms or whatever works. I love this!!!

[builder051]

Is Matt basically grown up Peter Parker?

I’m not sure how to answer since I don’t know your background or context.

At the risk of sounding rude, I can clarify that Matt Murdock and Peter Parker are two different people, and they exist tangentially in the MCU official timeline. (The 2012 Avengers battle for New York is canon in the Daredevil tv show, but the earlier seasons came out long before Spider-Man made his Marvel debut in Civil War), but don’t exist in each other’s specific ‘verses/spinoffs. Daredevil is associated with the Defenders, and Peter Parker with the Avengers. I’m very sorry if that came across as preachy or nit picky, but, again, just trying to give a thorough answer.

While there are some similarities in Matt’s and Peter’s backgrounds (broken homes, male non-parent mentors, excelling at school, morally driven to right wrongs (especially in their specific boroughs), I don’t think Peter would grow up to be like Matt.

I can see one possible (and quite canon divergent) manner in which Peter could turn into a dark vigilante type, and that is pure speculation regarding Peter’s status post-No Way Home. After experiencing so much loss in such violent circumstances, he may choose to turn grief and rage into a major force against criminals.

I think that’s unlikely, though. Peter is soft-hearted, and my personal guess for him post-No Way Home is that he’ll hang up the mask for a while. But not forever. As Tony’s “heir,” I think he’ll return as perhaps an angrier neighborhood Spider-Man.

Matt, on the other hand, was raised kind of brusquely with little acknowledgement or care. I think he grew up building walls to suppress trauma, and he was constantly given the example that violence solves problems (be it in the boxing ring or with use of a long stick). As a lawyer, Matt shows extreme motivation to put things right without physical fighting, but there’s only so long one can be satisfied with spending days of editing technicalities on a piece of paperwork and making little to no progress toward the goal of defending the victim and convicting the offender. Though Matt isn’t so much a practicing Catholic, he shows a lot of consideration for good and evil and whether it’s ok to do evil as a power of good. That’s pretty clear when he speaks in confession.

Now, Peter Parker also goes through a stage of uncertainty directly after Ben’s death where he “gets used to,” for lack of a better term, using violence against other people. Peter’s been taught by Ben and May that violent retaliation isn’t a great idea, and he carries that with him through school bullying, etc. until he gets the “great power requires great responsibility” line. Even then, he avoids the cops and generally picks up the little stuff or supernatural stuff that the police aren’t equipped to deal with. Though he often saves the day acting against police advice and/or at a danger to himself, things always seem to smooth out after the dust falls following the final battle.

While Peter treats his patrol as an after-school activity, Matt seems to treat his vigilantism as a calling of sorts. He was much older than Peter when he started doing his Daredevil antics, and he went in knowing the gravity of his actions, the depth of his powers, and that what he did would have grave consequences. Even though he also avoids law enforcement, Matt’s knowledge of the legal system gives insight into what stuff the cops might bite on and what they may cover up. He’s rarely concerned about getting caught or getting in trouble. Matt’s ability to compartmentalize, likely strengthened due to childhood trauma, allows him to largely separate Daredevil mode from social and lawyer modes.

Obviously, as Peter Parker ages, his feelings, emotions, and outlook on life will change dramatically. Depending on your preferred canon or headcanon, anything can happen. I do think, MCU-wise, Peter will forever feel that connection to Tony (and Ben and May, for that matter) and continue doing what he does because it’s important to him. (And, if you prefer the Spiderverse backstory, Peter might grow up to be a divorced bachelor with a thing for pizza.) :)

I say again, this is my opinion from my information and perspective, and it’s not meant to shut down ideas or prove any points.

I appreciate the interest and stimulating conversation. It makes me think. My brain likes that.

[maxdibert]

I’m still reading your fanfic!

I just got to the part with the sex scene, and damn, that’s the one thing we don’t see eye to eye on! 😆

I genuinely don’t think Severus would have that… mmmm, “I want to bend you over and take you like an animal” energy. For some reason, I have a very strong feeling that, in bed specifically, he’d actually prefer to let his partner take the lead

Honestly, this is such an interesting and broad topic—this could turn into a whole discussion, ahahazhphphphph

Either way, I’m super curious to see how their relationship shifts after that. I’m dying to see how it develops. 🫦

The protagonist is like, “Ooooh, the more complicated he is, the more I want him,” and I’m sitting here thinking, “Girl, you have NO idea what you’re in for.” 😂

I’d drop everything right now just to binge-read, but alas, adulthood is cruel and unfair. :(

As for that comment about “A lot of people dropped the fic because the protagonist is too fleshed out as a character”— I guess for people who prefer self-insert ships (character/reader), that could be an issue. But since I love well-developed characters and quality writing, I’m absolutely obsessed with this protagonist.

The fact that she doesn’t have a name is just a fun bonus for me—I can insert whatever I want there, ahahahahphphph—but other than that, she’s already amazing. I have no idea what more people could possibly want.

I’m really curious to see if she’ll pick up on Severus’ awkwardness with the Muggle world—like, even with tiny details, such as struggling with basic household appliances that are more complex than a kettle. If things like that pop up in the fic, I will be screaming with joy, because it would make his experience with Muggles feel so much more natural. (It reminds me of those hilarious fanart pieces where Severus is just sitting in front of a laptop, staring at it in absolute horror like it’s some kind of monster from the Forbidden Forest.)

Anyway, I really hope I don’t die while waiting for the next update. Wishing you lots of luck and inspiration!!

Hi again!!

Thank you so much for keeping up with the story and for your amazing comments. I’m so happy you’re enjoying it, even if we don’t fully agree on the vibe of the sex scene. I totally get where you’re coming from, though! Personally, I’ve always imagined him more as a switch—someone who likes to maintain control when he’s not yet comfortable but might let loose more once he builds some intimacy. But yeah, this is totally a matter of perspective lol

The protagonist is absolutely crazy, honestly. I created her to be a somewhat frivolous, insufferable, and spoiled character at first, but as the story progresses, it becomes clear that her preferences are more of a reflection of her own complexity. I really appreciate your take on preferring well-developed characters. Like, I get why some people want something more superficial, but honestly, if the characters don’t have some depth, I get so bored because it just doesn’t hook me.

Ahhh, the topic of Severus confronting the Muggle world is definitely something that comes up! Writing those scenes is hilarious because, of course, he’s not completely ignorant about the Muggle world, but he’s spent, like, 20 years not caring or being forced to interact with it beyond the bare minimum. So, he’s kind of outdated—like, he knows what a TV is but has no clue what a computer is xD

Thank you again for your enthusiasm and for sharing your thoughts. It means so much to me and definitely inspires me to keep writing. I’m also suffering the adult life struggle because I don’t have nearly as much time as I’d like to write, read, or just do nothing at all. But yeah, adulthood sucks—we’re all in the same boat.

Take care and sending you a huge hug! <3

[roguishcat]

Conversations with a vampire - part 4/10

Summary: A story told through a series of conversations between Astarion and child Tav, tracing the slow and steady progress of trust and friendship.

Humor/Friendship/Angst

Rating: Teen. Mild language, mentions of abuse in later chapters, some violence.

Setting: Set before the events of the game.

There was a chill in the air and evenings were turning colder, seasons changing with slow grace, first leaves falling and scattering on the ground in a multitude of colors. Astarion started wearing his doublet more, his usual shirt being too light for this time of the year. That is, it would be if he could feel the cold. He supposed that was one of the few perks of his current state.

Tav was autumn personified, wearing an ankle-length coat in shades of bright amber with a brown fur collar which she left unbuttoned, revealing a shirt and trouser ensemble of a lighter shade that matched her leather boots. Her hair was in a low braid with shimmering golden threads woven along the tresses.

“You know, it’s the first time I see you wearing something other than that frilly shirt,” she commented, throwing a pretty sparkly ring into the air, and snatching it quickly before the trinket hit the ground. “You look nice.”

“Well thank you, not that your opinion was wanted or needed,” Astarion rolled his eyes. He didn’t need Tav to know he looked good, though he didn’t mind being admired by all. The doublet was beautiful, although the golden embroidery was a pain to look after. Not all his conquest were gentle when handling him and his clothes had a fair share of wear and tear. He took care of the little he had meticulously and carefully, as Cazador did not see it fit to give the spawn any more than bare minimum.

Yet, flattery would really get people everywhere and his mood was decidedly better now than it was before he set out for the night. Thus, assured of his good looks, Astarion strolled down the street with unhurried steps, keen eyes observing those he passed by. They passed the potion shop and were nearing Wyrm’s Rock. There were more people around for this time of night and not the usual crowd too. Families, children, young couples, their excitement for the fireworks display in celebration of the grand re-opening of Felogyr's Fireworks so palpable he could almost taste it.

“I just don’t understand why you don’t just come and work in Sharess’ Caress, with your looks you could make tons, tons!” she gesticulated wildly in her excitement to show just how astronomical his earnings would be. “And then you could have everything you wish to have, which whoever it is that you work for doesn’t provide. Mamzell Amira is not exactly nice, but she treats everyone well enough, better than you get treated clearly. I am sure-”

“I don’t need your advice. Or your pity,” he spat, cutting Tav off sharply. “I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Find another charity case if that’s what you are after.”

Tav frowned but did not flinch or move away. She was used to adults having little patience when dealing with her, perhaps understandably. She did go on and on sometimes. Besides, she had her suspicions about Astarion for a while now, and she knew the defeated look of a person who had no power to make their own choices and hated it. It was useless to pry, for now.

“Sorry, that was wrong of me to say that. It wasn’t meant to be pity. I really do say the dumbest things, don’t I?”

Astarion sighed, a little annoyed at himself for this display of emotion. Yes, she was an insensitive, intrusive little idiot, but she did it out of some feeling of misplaced kindness. And whilst he did not necessarily need her kindness, it was quite refreshing to talk to someone who wanted to converse just for the sake of it.

“Well, I guess it can’t be helped,” he brushed his fingers through his silver curls, “your atrocious lack of manners is especially obvious today, that’s all. You should really work on that.”

“Maybe. But at least I’m trying. Wouldn’t hurt you to be nicer, you know. Once in a while,” Tav said petulantly.

“And it wouldn’t hurt me to be less nice, so your point is moot,” he countered.

“Oooh, someone is in a bad mood. Fine, I’ll shut up,” she huffed and turned away, seemingly determined to show that she was upset.

That lasted for a grand total of two minutes before Tav started fidgeting and shooting furtive looks his way.

“Want me to do your nails then? It is party tonight, after all. I have everything with me. Polishes and all,” she asked hopefully.

Apparently, it was physically impossible for the girl to be quiet.

“No.”

“Aw, come on!” she whined in a most aggravating way. “You have beautiful hands! Like the bard with the lyre that played at Sharess’ the other night.”

“Well, I do know which strings to pluck to make everyone sing for me.”

The innuendo went completely over her head.

“So, is that a yes on the nails?”

“Still no.”

She pouted but did not insist anymore.

“The human delivery boy who brings the groceries to Sharess’ Caress asked me to go watch the fireworks with him tonight.”

“Oh?” He looked at her with his eyebrows raised. “Sounds like somebody’s got a date.”

“Eww, gross” Tav scrunched her nose at the suggestion. “He is a year older, but so juvenile for thirteen,” she said, clearly unimpressed with whatever the boy did to try to get her attention.

“Because clearly you are a picture of wisdom and maturity,” Astarion quipped.

“Well, maybe not,” she agreed, “but kids my age are boring. They see one gash on my leg, perhaps bleeding too much and maybe there was a bit of bone sticking out, I admit, and just faint! Wimps,” she scoffed haughtily.

“Not everyone has the devil-may-care attitude you do, it seems.”

“Exactly! And why would I want to hang out with someone bland and boring like that? They won’t be able to keep up.”

“Which is probably a good thing for them, as they clearly have a sense of self-preservation, and you don’t.”

“Whatever,” she smiled, apparently choosing to take his comment as a compliment. Tav flicked her hair over her shoulder, the golden threads making her blonde hair twinkle as if lit up my magic. “Besides, the fireworks are going to be down by the river, not far from Felogyr's Fireworks. I wouldn’t be able to go even if I wanted to.”

Ah, yes. There was the ever-present issue of her having to traverse these streets over and over again without being able to explore the rest of the city.

“You are not missing out on that much, fireworks are frightfully dull, overrated really,” Astarion said with a longsuffering sigh, as if going to a party was such a chore.

“Yeah, baby stuff,” she looked up, catching on quickly.

“Quite so.”

Her lips quirked into a smile. It was a ghost of her usual enthusiastic grin, but better than nothing.

“Ya know,” Tav looked down, suddenly finding the cobblestones worthy of her attention, “I decided I’m going to marry you when I’m older,” she said in a nonchalant manner.

“Are you now?” he snorted in amusement. “And I suppose you didn’t think to ask my opinion on the matter?”

“Just you wait, I’m going to grow up to be strikingly beautiful. Well, maybe not as beautiful as you”, she sighed, accepting that as a fact of life, “but close enough! And I’m going to save you from your master, because he clearly does not treat you as well as he should, and you will fall hopelessly in love with me!”

“Didn’t you say that this isn’t what you really look like? You might be quite a bland thing. Terrible warts on your nose. Missing teeth, bad breath.”

“Stop it, don’t be horrid!” she laughed. “You are just saying that to be mean.”

He was needling her on purpose, that was true. But Tav could take a joke and wasn’t fishing for praise. It was a nice change of pace when he didn’t have to needlessly stroke someone’s ego and come up with artful, empty compliments. Words were usually just another arrow in his quiver, a tool used for seduction to ensure his survival. It was pleasant to talk to someone just for the sake of it.

“Well, even if I am beastly and ugly, and you will not want to marry me, I hope we can still be friends even many years from now. And I am going to set you free no matter what.”

Set him free, she said. And who was going to set her free before that? Because no matter how negligent her family was, she was being educated, provided for, dressed in the best of the best. One did not just do that out of the goodness of their heart. There had to a purpose for whatever this was.

“Well, that sounds like a plan,” he rolled his eyes. “It may be missing the how and when you are going to best Cazador-”

Fuck. He didn’t mean to say his name. The less she knew about him, the better.

“Don’t make fun of me! I may be measly twelve now, but in a few years, I will be old enough to decide my own destiny. One day, I will do something great, really great, and it will change everything.”

“If you say so,” he allowed, relieved that she did not latch onto the name and start asking questions.

The fireworks display started abruptly, painting the sky a myriad of colours. It was obtrusively bright and showy, but seeing all this in his world where colours were muted and dull had a certain appeal.

“Right, whilst you idle away the hours, some of us have things to do, places to be,” he walked off, moving with the crowds that started making their way towards the Lower City.

“Okay,” she ran up to Astarion to hand him a potion, upholding her end of the bargain as usual, “hope your hunt goes well!”

Hunt. Yes, that is exactly what he was doing. And the crowd tonight seemed so ready for the picking, oohing and aahing at the beauty above them, drunk on their excitement and cheap beer. It was almost too easy to engage one, two, three victims in quick succession. Pluck them like ripe fruit, ready to be devoured.

The other spawn quickly caught on to where his hunting grounds were for the night, and he started glimpsing them here and there. Dalyria grasping a tiefling’s chin and bringing his lips closer to her own to whisper something seductively, him following her completely enthralled by whatever she was saying. Petras loudly propositioning a human pair, them laughing and calling him daft, which was obviously not the effect he was going for. Astarion scoffed. Petras was terrible at being suave, he lacked the finesse, the ability to improvise on the spot.

At one point, Astarion had a niggling suspicion at the back of his mind that Tav was watching him from the rooftops, he thought he saw her once or twice. But, when he crossed the bridge yet again and noticed her up on the roof of the potion shop, she was looking at a human family with a wistful expression, the child holding his father’s hand and gesticulating animatedly, clearly excited about being out and about after dark. The mother crouched beside the boy and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, eliciting delighted giggles. Tav scowled and quickly turned, walking away from the edge of the roof and then bleeding into the shadows.

A child without a name, without a family, and without any history.  Astarion supposed that she had little in common with children that sought her company, who had the luxury of enjoying the care and love of their parents, or at least were free to come and go as they pleased on a whim.  

She was a specter that haunted the streets of the city she could never properly explore. It was little surprise that she identified with him on some level. He was a creature who was a ghost of his former self, who was compelled to act as he was bid. A former elf without a past, a vampire spawn without a future.

Chapter 3

Chapter 5

Tag list: @ninty900 @dajeong @ayselluna

[yupuffin]

Quay - Voiceovers

Personal Voices

Thoughts: I A lot of people don’t like looking for dead things on the beach, so I don’t often have someone to talk to about what I find. Apparently it creeps people out when I talk to myself, too. Though, as soon as I’m talking about something other than beached carcasses, suddenly people find it endearing. I can’t claim to understand how the minds of others work.

Thoughts: II It’s always good to be prepared. The weather here can change pretty quickly in certain seasons, and you don’t want to get caught off-guard. For me, personally, my job often involves getting wet, so I never go anywhere without some rain gear and warm clothes.

Thoughts: III There’s a lot of great spots around Jinzhou for tidepooling. One of the best ones just happens to be right under the Huaxu Academy building. No one ever really goes there, so it’s a great place to go after a long day in the lab if I haven’t had the chance to stop by a beach recently. Even better if it’s low tide, and you can see all the organisms living on the pillars that support the walkways. I’d say it’s one of my hidden treasures.

Thoughts: IV Growing up, I was told you're supposed to eat different kinds of fish in a certain order to preserve your palate. But, as much as I love fish, I don't think I'm enough of a food snob to pay attention to technicalities like that.

Thoughts: V The sound of gulls really calms me. It's something you hear no matter where in Ragunna you go, so I think it's nice that there are places you can hear them in Jinzhou, too.

Quay's Hobby I guess you could say I’m really food-motivated. When I have some free time, I can’t help but want to bake something sweet for myself… of course, I inevitably end up making more than I can eat before it goes bad. Thankfully, Mortefi’s coworkers at the Academy do a fine job of finishing it all off for me, so none ever goes to waste—which is good. I’d hate to waste some perfectly good sweets.

Quay's Trouble Honestly, since I moved to Jinzhou, life has been pretty good for me. I can’t say I’ve ever worried about much of anything—not that I can remember, at least. Sometimes, though, I still have nightmares about things I experienced back home. Still, it’s nothing worth troubling yourself over, for sure.

Favorite Food You’d think I’d be sick of seafood, since I spend so much time around the ocean, but you’d be wrong. I’ll never say no to fish. I’d even say it’s an easy way to bribe me…

Disliked Food As much as I’d love to say I’m not picky, there’s a few tastes and textures that, uh… don’t agree with me. I can’t handle anything spicy or sour, so I have to be careful what I pick when I’m eating out.

Ideals I can’t say I have much of anything as far as long-term goals go. I’m trying to just enjoy life as I experience it. A lot of people get too wrapped up in what they want for their future, and they end up missing out on a lot of things they can experience in the moment.

Chat: I Make sure you contact our stranding network if you find any animals in distress washed up on a beach in Huanglong. Stay at least fifty meters away from marine mammals or turtles if you find them stranded. Oh, but this only goes for animals. For incidents involving Tacet Discords, please contact the Academy’s Ecoacoustics department—and definitely stay as far away from them as you can.

Chat: II A lot of people don’t know this, but our stranding network marks carcasses with brightly-colored spray paint for identification purposes. That way, we can track the decay progress or see that it’s the same one from before and it washes up somewhere else.

Self-Introduction I’m, uh… Quay. Yeah, spelled like the word that means “wharf.” If you have questions about marine life in Huanglong, I can either give you an answer, or find you someone who has one.

Greeting Take a moment to observe the world around you. Even in familiar places, there’s always something new to discover.

Character Selection Me? Oh, okay... If you're sure.

Other Characters

About Jiyan Jiyan is… a really wonderful person, at least from what I can tell. He seems so capable and composed. Though, I bet he has a lot on his plate with how the Lament has been going on the front lines. I just hope he manages to catch a break for himself every now and then.

About Calcharo: I Calcharo looks scary on the outside, and… well, I suppose he’s scary on the inside, too, but that doesn’t mean he’s a bad person. You just have to communicate with him like you would any other person—otherwise you end up overthinking it and getting intimidated. He definitely keeps those Tacet Discords away whenever I hire him as my bodyguard for the day.

About Calcharo: II Ah, yes, this is what I'm supposed to say about Calcharo... (ahem) "He's not scary -- he's just a grumpy-butt."

About Lingyang I’ve heard he’s part of a lion dance troupe that performs at the theater, but I haven’t gotten the chance to stop by and see him since I got here. He sure makes a lively show of keeping me safe, though, so I can see the influence his performance has on his daily life.

About Rover They do always seem to be the center of attention with whatever’s happening in Jinzhou. What an interesting fellow. I’ve run into them a couple of times when I’ve been out on the beach. They're always alone, and they always move so easily, like taking out Tacet Discords isn’t even difficult for them. Maybe I should see if I can utilize their services sometime.

About Aalto: I I think I get what people mean now when they talk about having an 'emotional support person' around. Even when he's facing off against Tacet Discords, Aalto always sounds like he's having the time of his life, and it's hard not to laugh along. I wonder if that's what people think about me, too?

About Aalto: II I guess he's an information broker, but all of the juicy information I really have to share with him is about bird identification. Something tells me that's not what he's after.

About Mortefi I, uh… You want to know what I think about Mortefi? Well, where do I even start? He’s… really kept me company since I arrived here in Jinzhou. It’s surprising, because he doesn’t seem like the sociable type when you first meet him, but once you get to know him, you’ll find out he just has his own way of understanding things. He’s a really sweet guy, as long as you don’t take his prickly exterior too personally. That’s just how he talks—it’s not like he’s trying to get under your skin. And trust me, if he is trying to get under your skin, you’ll know. That man really has a way with words when he’s irritated about something.

[bringthekaos]

Your "Jayce is the one to banish Viktor" theory is a very fun idea to rotate in one's brain, but may I suggest another potential way that things could go down. Mel's weird back thing brings up a shield, that protects herself, Jayce and either partially or fully Viktor. What Jayce does in the seconds before, during, and after the explosion are probably going to be major plot decider for that side of the story. Being if he chooses to try and protect Mel or Viktor (I guess he could keep himself safe, but for plot dramatics I doubt that'll be what happens). If he goes for Viktor, then what I'm thinking kind of falls apart, but if he goes for Mel, then it can also serve as a parallel to him walking out on her to be with Viktor when he was diagnosed. In the chaos of the aftermath, Viktor has the time to slip away and begin to make his way to the lab. Jayce eventually follows him, and while I like the idea of Jayce using the Hexcore to save Viktor after he swore to him that he'd destroy it, I don't think Jayce is in the room when Viktor uses it, because as we saw with sky the Hexcore will just kill whatever life is in the room that isn't its user (be that a sign of it being aware and possessing some degree of want to keep Viktor alive, or not), but also I don't know what the Hexcore takes in the place of Viktor's life if he were to try and use it solo, so I don't know. But Jayce walks in on a Viktor with his Void augmentations on full display (Maybe he was too close to the Hexclaw while doing this and this is how it gets merged to his back), able to not only stand straight and unaided, but also walk. And Jayce freaks out, but doesn't betray Viktor, at no point even considering turning him in. I think he does end up getting Mel involved though, maybe without letting Viktor know beforehand because he isn't able to see that Viktor and Mel don't exactly get along or why Viktor may not want anyone at all to know what's happened, regardless of if Jayce trusts them or not. I think Mel's the one who ends up spelling it out for Jayce that as someone from the undercity Viktor is in massive danger, and maybe even the one who suggests aloud first that Viktor should flee to Zaun. It could be a great opportunity to give her some more moral dubiousness, the question of if she'd suggesting this because she genuinely wants to help Viktor, if it's because she understands Viktor as someone Jayce cares for and thus Viktor getting hurt would hurt Jayce, of if her motives are entirely selfish and she just wants to get rid of Viktor (much in the same way that if she's actually romantically interested in Jayce or just manipulating him for her own gain is kept obscure for the majority of their relationship). I could see Jayce wanting so bad to go down to the undercity to see if Viktor is okay, and when he finally has a window of opportunity to find him, he's met with a very different man to the one he last saw. A butterfly who has emerged from his metamorphosis, a magician having completed The Turn, taken an ordinary dying man and turned him into something extraordinary. Sorry for the ramble.

No no, keep rambling!!!

I love hearing everyone’s different takes on what they think will happen. I saw the “Mel golden shield” theory a lot in the early days, also that she is a Mage in hiding. And while there are degrees of legitimacy to all these theories, I just… really want her to live. From a story standpoint. We’ve already seen one female character fridged, and I’m honestly just sorta… tired of that storyline? We really don’t need yet another woman destroyed to progress a man’s character arc. Not just for Arcane, but like… in all storytelling. That plot point is so played out, it’s beyond stale and growing mold. So I’m just really hoping she lives.

So assuming she lives, this could be an interesting path to take, kinda building off the “Jayce is pulled in two different directions and trying to do both but not realizing he’s splitting down the middle” that they’ve already set up in season one. But this too would have to be done delicately, cuz we certainly don’t want Mel’s role to devolve to jealous lover. She’s so much more than that, she’s smart and cunning and wise beyond her years. I just don’t see her stooping to getting rid of Viktor purely out of romantic interest in Jayce. But perhaps it could be a culmination of things, say maybe if Viktor’s connection to the core starts to affect his sanity… it could be one of those “wrong thing for the right reasons” type deals—she thinks she’s helping both of them, but in the end it gets twisted by outside forces/misunderstandings?

There’s also Ambessa to consider. No matter what happens to Mel, I think we can all agree that Mommy Medarda is not going to take an attempt on her daughter’s life lightly (whether her reaction is borne of actual care for her daughter or a twisting of “care” into a more political/military opportunity remains to be seen). But either way, Ambessa wanted Hextech weapons for herself and for Noxus. So in the aftermath of this attack, Viktor’s voice for “we don’t build weapons” will likely get even smaller, and perhaps that is where the split starts to happen. Jayce even said “we have the knowledge to defend ourselves.” So I’m sure there will be a degree of guilt on his end, if he’d just built those weapons like Mel asked, this may not have happened (spoiler alert: it would have). But therein could be another opportunity for the split between Jayce and Viktor—this is the line they draw in the sand.

Anyway, now I’m the one who’s rambling. (Also sorry it took me so long to answer, the Holidays steamrolled me. But I always love to discuss these theories with you guys!)

[woozapooza]

Miscellaneous post-s5 Sopranos thoughts

This is just a selection of the stuff I wrote in my journal this season.

Adriana La Cerva suffered more than Jesus.

One of my favorite things to think about in any TV show is character parallels, and The Sopranos is fantastic on that front, yet for all the time I’ve spent thinking about which Sopranos characters parallel each other, somehow it took five whole seasons for me to notice what now seems like one of the most obvious pairs: Silvio and Melfi! They’re both Tony’s confidants and his two main advisers. Melfi is kind of his emotional consigliere, and Silvio is his…business therapist? What I’m trying to say is that they complement each other in their roles in Tony’s life, and that was (finally) extremely clear in “All Due Respect.” Despite looking at Tony from such different perspectives, they give him essentially the same advice about the Tony B. situation. They both conclude that Tony S. is using noble rhetoric of love and loyalty to mask what’s really motivating him. For Silvio, that motivation is “pride” and “a problem with authority,” and for Melfi, it’s “guilt and shame” (I suspect they’re both right to some degree, though I also think they’re both being unfair by implying that noble motives and selfish ones are mutually exclusive—come on, guys, he contains multitudes!) but they agree that to make the right decision, Tony needs to be honest with himself.

Another interesting parallel: in “Long Term Parking,” Christopher essentially does to Adriana the same thing he’s mad at Tony for doing to him. He “gave [Tony S.] pieces of [his] soul,” yet Tony S. favors the loose cannon Tony B. over him. Well, Adriana gave Christopher pretty much her entire soul, yet Christopher chooses the ungrateful Tony S. over her. The difference, of course, is that Tony S.’s choice (pre-“All Due Respect”) only costs Christopher his position, while Chris’s choice costs Adriana her life. And Adriana died knowing that Christopher had chosen Tony over her, his ride-or-die. With an emphasis on the “die,” I guess. At least Pussy had some comfort in his final moments. Adriana had none.

In “Sentimental Education,” Carmela’s relationship with Wegler failed because she tried to treat it as a transactional arrangement (well, and also because he was a pretentious misogynist). In “Long Term Parking,” it’s a transaction that brings Carmela and Tony back together. I’ve seen some people paint her relationship with Wegler as pure conniving on her part, but I don’t think that’s fair. It’s clearly how she’s used to relationships working.

In that same episode, I was SO proud of Carmela for starting to wake up to the absurdity of some of the things the Catholic church has taught her. 

I’m glad Carmela and Tony are back together if only because it was so painful to see how utterly alone she was during the separation. The suffocating feeling I got from watching her try to escape her awful husband’s clutches while also being vilified by her son was reminiscent of the feeling I got watching Breaking Bad, except worse, because Walter Jr. was never as vicious to Skyler as Anthony Jr. is to Carmela. 

I’m generally a Meadow apologist, but she had some unbearable moments this season, especially in “Unidentified Black Males.” The drama with Finn was frustrating (and to be fair, Finn could probably have handled it better, too, but Meadow was worse), but the worst part, IMO, was what she said to Carmela: “Haven't you thought beyond being dependent on a man?” Girl that is LITERALLY WHAT SHE’S TRYING TO DO NOW. Going back to the topic of Carmela’s isolation, it’s maddening that both her “progressive” daughter and her not-even-pretending-to-be-progressive husband essentially blame her for not being able to take care of herself, while also refusing to give her credit for trying to finally carve out an independent existence.

On that topic, this season continues the theme of what I call the obstacle of expectations: the fact that change is far harder when it seems that no one around you believes that you can change. (Which is not to say that this skepticism is always unearned.) Carmela tries to have a relationship with a normal guy, but concludes that “because [she] was married to a man like Tony, [her] motives will always be called into question.” Tony greatly impresses Melfi by not hooking up with Adriana (side note, it was really sweet how proud Melfi was of him), but he’s widely believed to have done so nonetheless, so he concludes, “I might as well have fucked her.” Then he says a sarcastic “thanks” to Melfi, the one person who consistently believes in his ability to change even after all he’s put her through, as if she’s the problem. Christopher literally says that “Tony don’t believe a person can change” and is therefore holding his past as an addict against him; in the following episode, when the Tonys are making jokes at his expense, Chris, in a moment of genuinely impressive maturity, says, “Sobriety's hard enough without having to get mocked for it.” All of Janice’s work in anger management is undone in a matter of seconds by her brother deliberately trying to undo it. Tony B. justifiably complains about the stigma of being an ex-con, although he’s a complicated case because he backslides into criminality at a moment when no one is being prejudiced towards him.

On that note, I never quite felt like I got Tony B. as a character. For example, I couldn’t really make sense of why he backslid so dramatically in “Sentimental Education.” I enjoyed him nonetheless, although a large part of that is surely due to the fact that it’s basically impossible not to enjoy Steve Buscemi. 

This post is getting enormous so I won’t go into detail about this, but the stories people tell—about themselves and about others, to themselves and to others—stood out as a huge theme this season. Excellent! Very Black Sails!

“The Test Dream” was so much fun. More shows should do episodes that let them bring back legions of dead characters.

Have I mentioned how much I love Melfi? No I haven’t because it’s beyond the capacity of human language to express. This season she was in 62% of the episodes (8/13). Next season she’s in 71% of the episodes (15/21), which is an improvement. I think she should be in a million percent of the episodes, but I’m also grateful that she’s ever been on my screen for even a single second.

[razzle-zazzle]

1922 Words; @brain-bumbler's Dormmates AU

AO3 ver

“Move it, pompadork.” Dion growled, trying to get back to his dorm.

“Oh, am I in your way?” Morris moved right in front of Dion. “Guess you’ll just have to sit there and wait then.” He looked up at Dion, radiating as much challenge as was physically possible.

“Do you get paid to be an ass?” Dion snarled. “Do you wake up every morning and decide ‘Oh, I need to be as big of a jerk as possible’?” His voice rose with his frustration, even through his Morris Impression.

“I don’t know,” Morris countered, “Do you make it your mission to be a blight on everyone’s day?” This only drew forth more high-pitched curses from Dion, to which Morris began to respond in kind.

“It’s way too early for this.” Adam grumbled, in the doorway of his and Morris’ dorm. A telekinesis hand appeared in between Morris and Dion, putting a pause on their argument.

“STAY OUT OF IT!” They both voiced their disagreement as one, only for that to spark a fresh wave of confrontation as they simultaneously accused the other of copying them.

Adam brought a hand to the bridge of his nose and groaned. “I’m not dealing with this.” He decided. “Not at this hour.”

“I don’t know, it’s pretty funny.” Gisu commented from her spot on the couch. She still had her pajamas on, the hood of her rex onesie casting a toothed shadow over her eyes.

“Only for the first twenty minutes.” Adam responded, moving over to the kitchen. “Then you just wait for them to stop, and they never do.”

“Huh.” Gisu said, in a tone that said that she didn’t particularly care what Adam had been putting up with in the boys’ half of the dorm. She shrugged, still working through the bowl of cereal held on a telekinesis hand in front of her. “They’ve gotta run out of steam eventually.” She declared, between bites.

“They better.” Norma mumbled from the breakfast bar. “Or I’m throwing both of them out of the window.” As Morris could levitate and Dion was an acrobat, neither would be in very much danger from being defenestrated. But it would be satisfying, and Norma looked like she was seriously considering it as Dion and Morris got progressively louder.

“Dion must really care about Morris.” Raz decided through a yawn. “‘Cause Dee and Frazie argue with each other all the time, and they care about each other.” He watched the two for a moment, then added, “And they don’t even argue in a mean way.”

Norma snorted. “Maybe tell them that.” She suggested. “That’ll probably get them to stop.”

“Huh, that might work.” Raz nodded. He hopped off of the stool, his toast forgotten as he skipped over to Dion and Morris. “Hey, guys—”

“WHAT?” Dion and Morris both turned to Raz in tandem, once again unified by the threat of their argument being stopped.

“You argue like siblings.” Raz pointed out. “Dion must really care about you, Morris!” He grinned, showing off all of his teeth, not a shred of anything but mischief in his eyes.

The reaction was immediate. Dion’s face flushed, protestations falling from his lips as he sputtered. Morris looked equally as put-out, frantically trying to assert how much he hated Dion’s guts.

“With the way you too are so obsessed with each other, some might think you’re lovers!” Norma called out from the breakfast bar. Morris and Dion’s equally red faces turned to her, too stunned to speak.

Morris recovered his aplomb first. “I am not obsessed with this clown.” He asserted, moving over to the side.

“I barely think about you at all.” Dion agreed, face still red as he flipped over to his dorm.

Silence reigned in the common room for a moment.

“Huh.” Adam commented. “Wonder how long until it starts up again?”

Morris huffed. “Hey!”

Gisu cackled.

+=+=+=+=+

“Pretty please? With sprinkles on top?” Hand clasped together, Gisu gave Dion her best puppy dog eyes. “Just once?” She even batted her eyelashes, too, to really sell it.

Dion’s mouth pressed into a thin line, his eyes darting away from Gisu. “No.” He reaffirmed, even though his voice wasn’t as firm as it had been before.

“Aww, c’mon!” Gisu urged. She turned back to the couch in the common area. “Guys, help me out here!”

Norma continued knitting, ignoring the proceedings. Sam narrowed her eyes at Dion, but otherwise said nothing—possibly still upset at being banned from the kitchen. Adam rather pointedly looked away from the breakfast bar. Morris and Lizzie, however, both added their voices to the cause, the video game in front of them paused as they looked over the back of the couch. Their voices intermingled as they tried to cajole Dion into conceding. Gisu watched as Dion’s resolve dissolved.

Dion rallied, glaring at Morris. “I’m not cooking for you.” He growled. “The answer’s still no.”

Morris smirked. “Wow, you must be really bad at cooking.” He taunted. “Suppose we’ll just have to make do with someone better.”

Raz, from where he was on the stool next to Gisu’s, turned his eyes to Dion. “Don’t you want to show them how good you are?” He asked, his face covered in the sweetest innocence he could manage.

Dion gave Raz a dry look. “You’re just saying that because Gisu bribed you.” He pointed out, knowing full well that Raz was mostly just trying to get a rise out of him.

“Is it working?” Raz asked, face morphing into a mischievous grin.

Dion’s face went through several expressions that essentially boiled down to saying “yes, but I don’t want it to” without him needing to say anything at all. He clenched and unclenched his hands into fists, visibly working his jaw as he searched for a response.

After a moment, Dion threw his head back and groaned, conceding. “Fine!” He turned back to the kitchen. “But if any one of you comes in here while I’m working then the deal’s off!”

Raz and Gisu cheered.

Lizzie pumped a fist in that air. “Free food!”

Norma rubbed at her temples. “Great, that’s settled.” She commented. “Are you going to get back to your game?” She asked, tilting her head towards the screen.

Morris turned around first and grabbed his controller. “Hey, Gisu, do you wanna join?”

Gisu waved him off. “Nah, I wanna watch.” She said.

Lizzie shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

+=+=+=+=+

“Right.” Dion set down the last plate. “Bon appétit, or whatever.” He grumbled, going back to the counter to grab his own plate.

Raz dug in immediately, uttering his thanks around his bites.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full.” Dion chided without even turning around.

“As much as I hate to say it,” Morris said, “This is really good.”

“Yeah, this is top-notch.” Adam agreed. “How long have you been cooking?”

Dion preened. “Of course it’s good,” He said, “And that’s none of your business.”

Morris made a rude gesture in Dion’s direction. “No need to be a sourpuss.” He pointed out.

“I’ll be as sour as I like!” Dion had turned to look back at the table, his plate only half filled. After a moment, he turned back to the counter.

“Today’s lesson!” Norma interjected, before Dion and Morris could start to really go at it. “Let’s talk about that!”

Raz perked up immediately. “Yeah!” He agreed. “I had this idea for telekinesis that I wanted to try out later.” He waved his hands as he spoke, his food forgotten in front of him for the moment. “I was wondering how much weight it can handle, and if I could lift myself with it.”

“That’s just worse levitation.” Morris decided, between bites.

“And who made you the expert?” Gisu asked teasingly, leaning over the table. “You’re not Milla.”

Morris gave Gisu a flat look. “I’m an expert.” He argued. “Clearly.”

“Then I guess I am too!” Gisu countered. She turned back to Raz. “We should go out to the Questionable Area and test that tomorrow.”

Raz nodded. “Yeah!” He grinned. He went back to his meal, but the conversation continued on as Lizzie brought up a project Compton had assigned her and Norma started asking questions about it to be polite.

A wave of homesickness passed over the table with no discernible source. The trash can opened, and Adam looked over to see Dion scraping his food into the trash, expression stone.

“You okay?” He started, but Dion just stomped past the table without a word. He crossed the common area and disappeared down the hall, melancholy bleeding into anger radiating from him the whole way there.

“What’s his problem?” Morris asked.

Raz shrugged. “How would I know?” He didn’t dig around in Dion’s head often, both to avoid Dion somehow finding out and getting annoyed by it and because there were better things to do with his time. Half the stuff Dion did anyway barely made sense as it was, so why would Raz have any insight? “It’s not like him to waste food.” He added. Something must have really ticked Dion off then, Raz supposed.

Lizzie shrugged. “Maybe he’s being pissy for the sake of it.” She suggested. She took another bite. “This is really good though.” She complimented, reaching for her glass.

A wave of agreement passed over the table. It was a general sense of that was weird and a big mental shrug at whatever was going on with Dion.

As usual, it didn’t take long for the conversation to move on.

+=+=+=+=+

“Your brother is a housewife.”

Raz looked up from Issue #242 of True Psychic Tales at Sam’s comment. “What?” Sam was a little different at the best of times, and utterly incomprehensible at the worst. But after knowing her for a few weeks, Raz was reasonably confident that he could decipher the method to her madness more often than not.

This, however, was one of those “nots.” Sam stared at him innocently over a bowl of… something, a bird perched upon her head as she stirred. Raz stared at her from the booth he was seated in, wondering if the Lumberstack had a gas leak. Or if it even had gas to leak. He’d heard that gas leaks could make people say funny things.

Or it might just be Sam being Sam.

“Which one?” Raz asked, because while he had an idea he still wanted to be sure. If Sam was talking about Queepie then Raz would have no hope of ever understanding what she was talking about.

“Dion.” Sam chirped, turning her attention back to the bowl on the counter before her. “He knows how to cook and mend, he cleans, and he’s good with kids. Housewife material.” She nodded after listing off her reasons.

“Oookay.” Raz said. If he thought about it, then what Sam was saying did make sense. Dion was good at all those things, though Raz wasn’t sure where Sam got the last point from. Still, the logic was clear and easy to follow, even if it would never have occurred to Raz. Sam was like that, coming at everything sideways. Sometimes it resulted in the most confusing things Raz had ever heard, and sometimes it made sense, like now.

Raz frowned. “But he’s not married?” Didn’t being a wife require marriage? Raz was pretty sure that was the case.

Sam chuckled. “Not yet he isn’t.” How she made it sound both lighthearted and threatening, Raz would never understand.

Raz nodded, turning back to his comic. Better to just nod and agree.

[glatisant-questing]

Sannan's Short Story from the Manyo no Shou Limited Edition Booklet

The 15th anniversary is drawing near and I'm really interested in the sake set that they are releasing this year lol

... and Sannan's story is cozy and warm!

This short story was written by 長野 和泉

(I can’t seem to concentrate today…) 

I let out a small sigh and put down my pen.

It was good that we moved to Nishi Honganji, where I could hide from the Ito faction’s soldiers…

 (So that I can devote myself to my research whole-heartedly…But I should be able to make more progress, though. It doesn’t seem to go as well as I want it to.)

As I was thinking about these things, I looked at the glass bottle on my desk. 

I picked up the bottle and tilted it slightly, and the red liquid within oscillated gently. It was the potion that revived me, a person who should already have been dead as a swordsman because of my arm injury. Before me was a deadly poison that relentlessly erodes the body and mind of the drinker.

(I have to master the way this medicine works as soon as possible, so that I can make some solid progress…) 

That’s what I was thinking when it happened.

 (This is…) 

I felt someone’s presence outside the room, and my attention was turned to that direction.

 Soon after, muffled footsteps drew close and stopped in front of my room. The person seemed to be careful not to make any noise, but it was a futile trick for me, since I have become a fury. 

“Is that you, Yukimura-kun? Are you bringing me the meal today as usual?”

 I called out to the other side of the door, and I sensed the person holding their breath. 

After a brief silence, there was an answer from her. 

“Yes. I don’t know if it tastes good to you, though.” 

“Please come in.”

After a moment of hesitation, the door opened. 

“Excuse me.” She said, and then she –– Yukimura Chizuru-kun, carried the serving tray into my room carefully. The fragrance of the miso soup reminded me that I hadn’t eaten anything since I woke up. 

“Thank you for going through all the trouble. I’m sorry that you have to deliver me dinner every night, even though I haven’t contributed much to the Shinsengumi so far.” 

I said jokingly, but Yukimura’s expression changed immediately. 

“That’s not the case… No one in the Shinsengumi, and of course me included, thinks that you haven’t made any contributions!”

I already guessed her response verbatim, and I couldn’t help but smile with some bitterness. 

“…It was just a joke. Don’t take it so seriously, or I’ll be concerned.” 

“J-joke… It was just a joke…?” 

“Yes, did you take it seriously?”

 “Of course. What you said didn’t sound like a joke at all…” 

She said, and then she sighed with relief. 

(Her mind is still so easy to read, and I can understand why Okita-kun likes to tease her with awful jokes.) 

As I thought so, I started to reach for the food on the tray. 

Yukimura-kun stared at me intently.

“…It’s hard for me to enjoy my meal if you keep looking at me like that.” 

“Ah–sorry! I was just worried if you liked the food or not.” 

“You’re a master chef, so you don’t have to worry. Your skills are well-known among the soldiers, you know.” 

“I hope so…” 

She seemed a little embarrassed by the praise, and smiled shyly.

Then, a small yawn escaped from her mouth. 

“Ah…sorry!” 

“Are you sleepy? It must be because you stayed up so late at night.” 

“No, that’s not the reason why…” 

“Then, are you suggesting that it’s boring to be with me like this?”

“N-no, that’s not the case either! It is just a coincidence that I yawned.” 

She tried to explain to me earnestly, as if she didn’t want me to feel even a little bit uneasy. 

“I understand. If you’re sleepy, why don’t you go back to your room? I’ll leave the tray outside when I’m good.” 

“But, what if someone who doesn’t know the situation finds the tray…” 

“It’ll be fine if I put it somewhere unobtrusive.” 

“But…” 

She didn’t articulate her reasons, but she didn’t seem to want to leave my place either. 

(Alas. She’s still as kind-hearted as always.)

Although I was a bit amazed, I didn’t feel bad about being taken care of like this. 

“…How about taking a nap here for a while? Of course, I’ll wake you up before dawn.” 

I suggested, and Yukimura-kun opened her eyes wide in surprise. 

“Eh… Is that okay?” 

“It’s fine, it’s not much trouble for me.” 

“But, will I hinder your research?” 

“I was thinking of taking a break anyway. Well, if you prefer to go back to your room and have some rest, that would be fine as well.” 

Then, Yukimura-kun looked around hesitantly. 

But, eventually–

“Thank you for your offer. I  will take a nap here for a while.” 

“Please wait for a moment. I’ll get you a pillow and something to cover yourself with.”

 I said that and went to the next room to get a pillow and something to cover over her.

 And when I came back to where Yukimura-kun was––

 “…Oh.”

 She was leaning against the wall, already breathing quietly in her sleep.

 (I was the one who suggested that she take a nap here, but… I didn’t expect her to fall asleep so quickly. She must have been very tired.) 

I felt sorry for waking her up, so I put a light haori over her. Yukimura-kun didn’t show any sign of waking up, and she slept soundly.

(But, she’s either too careless or too oblivious… Yukimura-kun, that time when I drank the ochimizu, I attacked you once. Have you forgotten already?) 

I won’t lose my sanity to the poison of the ochimizu anymore, but still, if I were in her position, I wouldn’t let my guard down like this.

(Well, I guess this is why the other soldiers adore you so much.) 

After looking down at her innocent and baby-like face  for a while, I turned back to my desk and resumed my research.

About half an hour later. 

“…Mm… Huh… What…” 

I felt Yukimura-kun waking up behind me. She seemed to have realized that she had just fallen asleep here.

“U-um, Sannan-san… I’m sorry, how did I fell asleep…!” 

She said, and she picked up the haori, and immediately folded it with care… and then, she left the room with the tray. 

“I-I am truly sorry!”

 She left without waiting for my reply. 

I could imagine her flustered expression even without seeing it, and a smile escaped from my lips. 

I wondered how she would look when she brings me a meal tomorrow night… I felt like I had something to look forward to.