#I guess I really needed to hear someone say my transition is a gift to others as well

[macksting]

From the reblogs: official-boyfriend: #i met peter s beagle too and he is truly so kind and lovely #i was dressed as molly grue and he pointed to me and said Molly Grue! and i said Yes! She's my favorite character! and he said#She's mine too#the last unicorn is so good samiholloway: #my stoey is not this important or joyous but i met him in a con in orlando and he was lovely there too#its always a little iffy meeting the people who write your favorite books but i love last unicorn so much more since he was nice to us#like we were real people and not just part of a massive crowd at a big con; its a rare gift juniperandmoonlight (https://www.tumblr.com/juniperandmoonlight/751493233117446144/hopping-on-here-to-make-sure-everyone-knows-that?source=share) Hopping on here to make sure everyone knows that Peter Beagle has a new book out as of this month, "I'm Afraid You've Got Dragons" and it is a delight. Lovely and sweet and funny and heartfelt as you would expect from his writing.

duamuteffe: I met him a number of years back while he was on tour with a remastered copy of the film, and it's one of my favorite memories. He was kind and fascinating and genuinely interested in everyone he spoke with, and an endless fount of anecdotes. We had driven a couple of hours to Pittsburgh to see him and the film and it started snowing pretty hard and we had to reassure him that we had four wheel drive and were used to the weather and would be careful the whole way home.

hanamiyama-basketball-club: #I should really read all those books again#his writing meant a lot to me when I was young so hearing that he's a kind person is not surprising perhaps but a relief

emblazonet: #Tlu#Peter S Beagle#He wrote TLU when he was like 19 or 20?!#HOW?!!!#I met him once#And he was so so so exhausted#But he was trying to connect with everyone in that line#And signed all my books#Genuinely a treasure of a person

freyalorelei: (https://www.tumblr.com/freyalorelei/749244972835962880/my-husband-and-i-met-him-at-a-book-signing-several?source=share) My husband and I met him at a book signing several years ago. He took at least five straight minutes to chat with each and every person he met. When it was my turn, I had him sign two copies of The Last Unicorn--one for myself and one for my niece, who was two years old at the time. He signed her name (Eliza), and when I told him she was named after the main character in My Fair Lady, he told us that he played Colonel Pickering on stage, and sang a bit for us. Such a dear, lovely gentleman. He has my adoration for life. <3

pinkusponkus: #I met him at a showing of his movie and have a print that he signed for me#when he learned my name he sang me Hard-Hearted Hannah#I love him

augustdementhe: #I had the pleasure once#He told me I reminded him of his first girlfriend because she also had a sick ass afro (his sentiment my description)#I need to get the book

ravencromwell: #GOD. god this is just such a magnificent example of#humans being awesome#and yes. yes in a world which so often feels drowned in its own horror. in the refusal to bridge gaps across shared humanity. the refusal#to be kind. it is so fucking important to amplify the good. [I love this thread especially viscerally because it was sparked by one of my#fav authors: Kingfisher is a person whose books are infused with so much kindness and humor.while refusing to look away from the violence.#very much to me following in Beagle's footsteps. and so that she helped make this feels fated and perfect]#queer stuff#Peter S. Beagle#book babbling#lit geekery

alchemyarchetype: #i met him and told him i wanted to be a writer#his response was along the lines of#“then you're a writer!”

bibliomancer7: #He's come to Dragoncon several times#and I go to every panel he's on because he's ALWAYS worth listening to#and his readings; he's an AMAZING reader#and I am deeply sad that the audiobook of him reading The Last Unicorn apparently has rights problems#I would pay SO MUCH money for that

labradorduck #i meet him when he came to Toronto#he was very nice#we were properly warned though that the signing line was long and slow because he is going to tell each and every person a story#and he did

crittymonster: (https://www.tumblr.com/crittymonster/748633483608571904/got-the-chance-to-meet-him-at-a-qa-film-showing?source=share) Got the chance to meet him at a Q&A + film showing at a small, local theater. He was wonderfully witty & very warm with the audience. Glad to hear that's just who he is.

tea42: #i love his writing so much#i met him at a con#his is lovely#he sang to me#charming charming man

khealywu: if you like The Last Unicorn, or Peter S Beagle, i strongly recommend ‘Tamsin’! it’s one of my favorite books.

#definitely one that would have formed min. 45% of my personality if i’d read it as a teenager#instead i read it in my twenties and it formed 13% of my personality#it’s so good#there’s a ghost and the protagonist falls in love with her#after moving to somerset from manhattan#and the wild hunt and a bunch of other fey creatures#and the bloody azzizes and the ghost of judge lord jeffery’s#it’s amazing n7calibrations: Close to 10 years ago, there was a limited run of The Last Unicorn in theaters, and he made an appearance to introduce the film and sign autographs after. My mom got us tickets. He told a little story at the beginning about how he wasn't originally a fan of the band chosen to write the theme song for the movie. I forget the specific phrasing he led up to it with, but I'll always recall him joking about how if he wasn't careful the newspapers were going to have a field day running the headline "Peter S Beagle Hates America!". Also, if you havent, you should also read his 'The Innkeepers Song'.

[ID: Edited panel from El Goonish Shive. Ashley, or rather macksting using her image, fails to hold back tears; Elliott, sitting next to her, asks, "macksting?" in a tone of surprised concern. /end ID.]

I've met him in person btw and he's a fucking sweetheart

[ID: Text-intensive Twitter thread from the Shapeshifters chest binders Twitter account in reply to a post by artist and author Ursula Vernon. Vernon says, A non-zero number of you apparently did not know that The Last Unicorn was a book before it was a movie. It is by Peter S. Beagle. It is made of spun glass and fairytales and iron knives and there are individual lines that I would give my lungs to have written. Shapechangers replies, I saw him every year at NYCC for several years straight, bought something at his table, asked him to sign it, and we spoke. He remembered me from year to year, no small feat at that con. He remembered which stories he'd told me. One year I came back with a different gender on. He squinted at me a bit and said thoughtfully, "I've seen you before in this place." All I had to say was, "last year you told me the story about the inoshishi." And his face cleared, and he leaned in with a grin and told me about a German guitarist who he traveled with, twice. Who transitioned between the first and second time, so he'd gotten to meet this person all over again on the second round. It was a wonderfully kind way to let me know that everything was fine. I was fresh out of the closet and I needed that, and maybe he could see it. The Last Unicorn is the best book in the world and I will defend it and its author til I die. the end. /end ID]

I don't usually talk about celebrities; artists, when I do, and I'm keenly aware that one needn't be a good person to be a hell of a heartwrenching artist. But Peter S. Beagle has written a few of my favorite things in the world, he's an excellent singer and filker, and this Twitter thread was dreadfully important to me. I don't want it going away as Twitter becomes Shitter, because it's so often bad news, isn't it? It's important to me to share trans joy.

[novaalexanderwrites]

Blood and Thorns - Chapter 7 (Part 2)

Chapter 7 (Part Two): Parties and Invitations (Read Chapter 1 (part one) here) - (See here for a complete list of chapters) **Updated with major alterations April 30 2023

   While Frigga was busy with Leland, Marcus tried to take the opportunity to talk to some of his friends. To his disappointment, they were all talking about this or that magical thing. Not his idea of interesting talk so when he spied Rosalind Bloodswell standing on their own off to the side, Marcus cautiously made his way over.    Rosalind wasn’t someone Marcus knew well, they seemed to keep people at a distance on purpose, but it was his duty to get to know all the coven’s members, especially the heirs as he would more than likely be working with them the most. And to be honest? Marcus found Rosalind fascinating. They stayed out of the limelight, barely participated in the politics of the group meetings, and for being the heir of Victoria Bloodswell, they were pretty considerate of others.     And they were beautiful, like if a vampire and a fairy had a baby.

   Marcus did have a proclivity towards more masculine individuals and when Rosalind had transitioned a few years ago, it had caught Marcus’ attention. They often favoured masculine presentations, but usually had some flash of feminine flare or jewelry, a style choice Marcus could get on board with, for sure. Today’s ensemble wasn’t anything out of the ordinary with their black suit and remarkably cut jacket, but their ruby stud earrings complimented an ornate ruby and gold snake broach on their lapel. They seemed to be attempting to hide by pressing into the darkest wall and blending in with the hardwood shelves, but their camouflage was no match for Marcus’ social radar.    “Rosalind, hi.” Marcus took up a spot near them, but not too close. Not yet.    “Hello,” they looked at him, expectantly. They thought he had something in particular to say to them, Marcus supposed.     “So…Nice broach?”    That seemed to assure them he had no real business to discuss. Marcus was nothing if not socially gifted and a people person, Rosalind might stand to learn a thing or two from him, honestly. They took a sip of the drink they were holding. “Thank you.”    “It’s good to see you again. Are you enjoying yourself?”    Rosalind sipped again. “I do have some things I’ll be happy to get back to at home.”    So that was a no. Marcus laughed. “Yeah, I guess this isn’t really your thing huh?”    Rosalind looked out at the crowd with the smallest of grimaces. “No.” A beat of silence passed, Marcus let it. He didn’t want to pressure Rosalind into a conversation if they weren’t comfortable. But his patience was rewarded when they spoke again. “Congratulations on your engagement.”    “Oh, yeah, thanks, everyone’s jazzed about that huh?”    “It’s big for the coven.” Rosalind seemed ambivalent about it, and Marcus sensed they were just being polite. He would try and liven the conversation up a bit.    “Yeah, I guess… I don’t know, I think my old man’s over-excited about his son getting married off, and Sapphire scares the shit outta me.”     Marcus was rewarded with a chuckle, Rosalind’s mask of ambivalence cracking subtly, and it filled him with a warm feeling he hadn’t been expecting. “Yes, she’s intense.”    Marcus spotted his opening and snatched it. “You’re telling me! And I’ve gotta be around her so much, like, she’s a nice lady, and she and my dad are real good friends, but I think,” Marcus leaned in closer to Rosalind who inclined their ear to hear him as he dropped his volume a bit, “she needs a bottle of wine, if you know what I mean.”    They were amused and chuckled softly, keeping it low and toned down, but Marcus could tell they had enjoyed that a bit more than they were supposed to. Had he ever seen them laugh? He wasn’t sure.    “A lot of people in the coven do,” they agreed, taking a sip afterwards like they were trying to hide what they had said behind the glass.    “Yeah, y’all are too much. It’s always “tradition” this and “celestial” that and it’s like, I just wanna chill, I didn’t want to hear about blood pacts today! Ugh!”    Rosalind sighed. “Yes, I can certainly sympathize with that.” A loud group laughing from across the room caused the witch to flinch minutely.    “Are you alright?” Marcus asked.    Rosalind’s eyes shot back to him before sliding away again; he thought they were reddened, though their glance had been too brief to really see for sure. “Yes. I’m just… not fond of sudden loud noises.”    Marcus’ pulse quickened as an idea sprang to life in his mind. “You could always hide away in the library, it’s pretty quiet. I could show you, if you want.”    The offer apparently surprised Rosalind who peered at Marcus with a look of interest. "That library’s legendary.”    Marcus grinned. “My grandfather was a book hoarder, but I’ve never been one for technical study myself. History? Science? Math? Boring! Give me some poetry, and I’ll be good but anything else is torture.”    It was at this point Frigga and Leland returned to the party. She had not been particularly successful cleaning the boy up, but he was clearly not bothered by it. Marcus knew he didn’t have a lot more time to chat with Rosalind, but he didn’t want to end their conversation yet.    Rosalind swirled their drink, seeming to mutter to themself rather than speaking to Marcus. “Poetry, hm. I guess a little necromancy is out of the question then.”     Marcus decided to take a little risk, just to see their reaction. “Hey, bringing the dead back to life is pretty poetic! Sounds like a great first date to me.”    That caused Rosalind to falter for a breath, their eyes darted to the floor. “W-well uh, I suppose when you put it like that,” Rosalind hastily replied. “Unfortunately, I think if I were to disappear my mother would have a stroke.”    Well well, that was the most sanitized tone Marcus had ever heard. He decided to push more. He gently placed a hand on Rosalind’s shoulder. “You’ve gotta come over another time, then! I think I found something you might enjoy.”    Rosalind looked at the hand touching them and then back up to Marcus, a suspicious glint in their eye. “What?”    Marcus withdrew his arm and grinned. “Well, if I told you you might not come over.”    Rosalind seemed to mull over his reply, and Marcus tried to be patient for their answer despite the thrill in his chest. His hands began to trace his braid that was draped over his shoulder down his front, and he had to consciously keep himself from pulling it all out and rebraiding it again.    His guest finally replied, their gaze fixed on the hands fidgeting in his hair, “Alright, I’m curious.”    Marcus opened his mouth to speak but paused before deciding on a bit of honesty. “Maybe not tomorrow morning though, I might be a little hungover.”    Rosalind grimaced sympathetically and Marcus’ grinned at it. “My condolences,” they offered.     Had he ever heard Rosalind joke before? His chest warmed at the realization they’d just joked with him and Marcus laughed. “What’s a party without a good stream of wine? And my dad broke out the good stuff!”    Rosalind looked at their own glass, and it was now Marcus realized they were not indulging in the wine but had the carbonated juice that had been brought in for the kids. “Fair enough,” they murmured. “Enjoy a glass for me, then."    Curious. “Oh, I certainly will, but why not have one yourself?”    “Alcohol… doesn’t agree with me,” they said as if the idea of drinking wine had personally trampled on their favourite jacket.     Marcus nodded graciously. “Ah, well, then I shall endeavour to enjoy two glasses on your behalf.” He then tossed a look over his shoulder to look for his fiancé and found her cornered in a conversation with Moira Blackwood she seemed not quite happy to be in. He looked back to Rosalind, and he let his disappointment creep into his smile. “It looks like I must rescue the damsel.”    Their eyes flickered from him to Frigga across the room, and was that a wince? “Of course,” they replied dryly, offering their hand to shake, their eyes affixed somewhere behind him. “Congratulations, again.”    Marcus’ gut lurched with disappointment again, but it fluttered when he clasped their hand in a shake. It was just a bit chilled against his own, warm palm. “Thanks,” he answered, and, smiling with all the charm he could muster he asked, “I’ll be seeing you soon?”    Their eyes flashed up and met his eyes again and Marcus saw he’d gotten past their defences, just a little. The warmth in his chest fluttered. “Yes,” they replied, and they smiled. Smiled. He’d never seen them smile before, not one that wasn’t cynical, at least.     He rejoined his fiancée. Maybe he should feel bad about that little conversation, about inviting Rosalind over for some one-on-one, but it was just a bit of fun. He had always wanted to get to know Rosalind a bit better and it would be good for him to establish a better relationship with the Bloodswell family. It was all above-board, right? Nothing to be worried about.    Marcus and Frigga spent the rest of the evening doing their rounds, interspersed with a little dancing here and there. His father had hired a pianist for the evening, and Marcus did love a good dance. Frigga was a lovely dance partner, though her slight stature could make things a bit comical. Marcus wasn’t exceptionally tall, but the woman was the shortest adult he knew.    Eventually, the party came to its conclusion. Marcus could party with the best of them and, true to his word, he was pleasantly full by the evening’s end. He was a dignified tipsy, not completely drunk, so it didn’t reflect poorly on him. He’d fix that when everyone left, open wine shouldn’t be left to waste, after all.    Victoria and Rosalind were the last family to leave, save the Thornehearts, and Marcus was treated to another smile from Rosalind on their way out that made his heart skip a beat. Victoria elegantly lavished Theodore with praise about how wonderful a time she had had and how gorgeous the home was, it was almost comical and clearly too much for Rosalind who said nothing except the bare minimum before being whisked away.

///

   Leland burst through the door as the family arrived home and nearly crashed into Gertrude in his excitement. “Gerty! I did magic!” he proclaimed as the woman kept him from toppling over and gathered Leland into a hug.    “I see,” she answered enthusiastically, tugging at a portion of the boy’s altered sleeve. “Is that what this is?”    Leland nodded furiously and grinned. “Yeah, Celeste showed me how to make a dust ball, and I did it but it exploded!” He wriggled out of the woman’s hug and started running up the stairs and then back down.    Gertrude took Frigga and Sapphire’s jackets and called after him, “Tha’s wonderful!” and then muttered, “I’m so thrilled about that stain I’ll have to wash out.”    Sapphire chuckled softly and made her way up to her office and Frigga hesitated. “I don’t think you’ll win this battle, Gertrude,” she offered. When the woman looked at her, Frigga grimaced. “I tried washing it out, but he magically altered its colour. You might need to re-dye it.”    “Goodness,” said the woman. “That’s quite unique, just changing a fabric’s colour.”    Frigga hummed thoughtfully. “At least it was that and not something more dangerous. Celeste’s first spell nearly caused a window to shatter onto her brother.”    “I remember, but she’s come a long way, no?”    “I think so, Edna said she wanted Celeste to start participating in ritual soon.”    “It’s exciting, having another young one! We haven’t had a wee one since Aphrodite Rynauld came of age six years ago.”    Frigga politely smiled at Gertrude. “Let me know if you need help with it, I didn’t want to fiddle with the stain while Leland was wearing the suit.”    Gertrude curtsied. “‘Course, Miss.” The attendant then followed Leland to his room and Frigga followed her aunt to the office. The door was open, and Frigga heard Sapphire speaking with her manservant Stephan.    “And if you might fetch me Miss Wood, I’d appreciate it.”    “Ma’am? She’s off for the night.”    “I recognize that, but I need to speak with her about tomorrow’s work. I’m switching her shift to overnights.”    Switching Razi’s shift? How peculiar. Stephan bowed, abruptly turned, and swept out of the room.    “Frigga!” Sapphire called when she saw her niece in the doorway. “Come on in, I’ve just had Stephan go down for some tea!” Frigga obeyed and entered the room, sitting on the armchair by the fireplace. “What a wonderful party, Theodore has such wonderful taste!”    The younger witch watched pensively as her aunt peeled off the ornate silk shrug she wore on top of her silver and blue dress. “I’m so happy for Leland,” Frigga replied with as neutral a tone as she could muster.    “Yes!” Sapphire sang, joining her niece by the fire. “What a relief, I was starting to give up hope! I’ll have to call on Cecelia Thatcher to run him through the basics. I hope she’s available.”    Frigga chewed the inside of her lip. “Does this mean he’s eligible for Heirdom, auntie?” She didn’t want to get her hopes up, but the question was one any inoffensively curious person might have.    But her aunt brushed off the question. “Technically he would be, though with his late blooming you’re still obviously the best option.”    “We don’t know that for certain. Great-grandfather Zeus was a late bloomer, and he was a wonderful leader! You’ve told me so many stories about his prowess with circle-engineering and how it changed the way Ozelea as a whole designs them!”    Sapphire looked at her niece, and Frigga saw her aunt’s eyes narrow slightly. “He did. Grandfather was an excellent leader and draftsman, but not a gifted witch. My grandmother was twice as powerful as he ever was.” A soft swish at the door announced the tea’s arrival at the hands of Noel, a pretty lady Frigga rarely saw but was usually more than happy to interact with. Frigga briefly acknowledged her with the politest of smiles before looking back to her aunt.    When Noel was gone, Sapphire began pouring each of them a cup of spearmint tea. Frigga replied, “I understand that late-blooming is usually associated with a lack of potency, but it’s not always the case. You told me my mother was a late-bloomer too.”    Sapphire quirked a brow and her expression hardened. “Yes she was. Abigail was the exception to a long-established rule. Your mother was always the exception,” she ruefully added so quietly Frigga nearly didn’t hear it. Though Sapphire had never said as much, it was clear Abigail and Sapphire hadn’t been close. They’d been born thirteen years apart and while her aunt always maintained that she’d always been the intended Thorneheart Heir, Frigga hadn’t missed the occasional jealous comment about Abigail. She’d been abnormally gifted, it was well-recorded coven history and part of the reason Frigga had been established as the Heir Apparent so young.    Sapphire finished pouring the tea, handed her niece a cup, and then took up her own. “Frigga, you’ve been preparing your entire life for this role, do you not want to make your family proud?”    Frigga lost enthusiasm for her libation, and she looked into the fireplace. “Of course I do, I just wonder if I’m the right person for the job. Leland is such a friendly, outgoing sort of person, and he doesn’t get overwhelmed by large events the way I do.”    “Nonsense, dear!” Sapphire quipped after sipping at her tea. “You do a wonderful job with parties! The coven members love you! You’ll be a wonderful coven leader, but this all reminds me.” She placed her teacup back on the table and walked to her desk. On it was a sandy envelope that looked as if it would burst if a single note was added to it, which Sapphire grabbed before returning to her seat and handing the envelope to Frigga. “These are all the wedding decisions I have made so far, and I thought you’d like to review them. The date’s been set to August sixteenth.”    Frigga barely withheld a scowl as she peeked into the envelope. “That’s fast. Why so fast?”    “Why wait?” was her aunt’s nonchalant answer.    Frigga didn’t have an appropriate response. Two and a half months until her wedding with her initiation following less than a week later. Sapphire would be amping up her preparations for both now the engagement party was finished. “Yes, I suppose,” was the only answer Frigga could give.    Sapphire smiled softly at her compliance. “Off to bed, Frigga, take your tea. I’ve a meeting with the servants shortly and I need to reply to Ophelia’s request before the end of the night. She asked for special access to a particular historical text, so she’ll be by tomorrow.”    Frigga nodded dejectedly and left the office with her tea and envelope. Leland having magic changed nothing for her, and asking about it was always going to be a fruitless ploy. She was still going to be made the Heir in less than three months time, but it was a mere formality. As she slipped back into her room, she flung the envelope at her vanity and sat on her bench in the alcove that overlooked the manor’s main drive. The sun had set long before and the property was entirely shadowed. The sky was perfectly free of clouds so the witch looked up to the heavens, comforted by the company of the stars.    Sipping at her tea, Frigga looked for her favourite constellations and tried to come up with new ones. She wondered if there were different constellations elsewhere in the world or if they were the same. The moon was perfectly full tonight, and the coven would be meeting here the next day to take full advantage of it. Frigga was already drained from this evening’s party, and she’d have to muster up yet more fortitude to perform again tomorrow. She wouldn’t even get to see Razi with the coven coming over.    Her aunt was putting Razi on an overnight shift. How bizarre. For what purpose and for how long? She’d ask Razi about it the day after tomorrow, for now Frigga needed to rest; she finished her tea and called for Doris’s help to get ready for bed. Once she was redressed and her hair was carefully tucked into a braid for the night, Frigga fell asleep.

[mingying]

[spoilers] hospital playlist s2 ep 11; ikjun/songhwa

I can’t believe this finally happened. And it happened in arguably the best ways possible for us IkSong shippers. As usual, this post is just basically my own thoughts and opinion of the episode and my interpretation of things - feel free to disagree, and I hope you enjoy reading this musing of mine!

22 years later, finally they found each other again <3

TL;DR: Everything happens for a reason and we have finally reached the rainbow end <3

Let’s begin by addressing the ER scene, but before that, I would like to point out that since Ep 10, Songhwa has been shown to be somewhat forgetful and a klutz - in Ep 10, she was searching for her socks and insisted that she wore them for her rounds. She also seemed to have forgotten to take off her surgical cap until Seonbin pointed it out to her.

In Ep 11, the episode starts off with Songhwa leaving her handbag in Ikjun’s office, and subsequently her handphone, followed by her handbag in the car again. This is not a dementia arc, guys (haha) but I genuinely think that this is her mind being occupied by her newly realised feelings for Ikjun that her normally composed self had started to crumble (and that’s entirely ok!). Another interpretation of this scene could be that unintentionally and subconsciously, she just wanted to remain in the hospital knowing Ikjun may return to collect his gift later.

Can I also point out her sixth sense in this scene? When she peered out of her window and heard the sound of ambulance, followed immediately by Dr Bong calling, she looked disturbed. Normally, she would have answered her calls immediately without hesitation but this time you could tell that she frowned and waited for maybe 2 seconds before answering Dr Bong. Well, never messed with a woman’s intuition I guess!

The ER Scene. Gosh. I actually have a lot of things to say about this. I know some people do not like this trope and that it is a typical trigger for characters to realise their feelings. But, I’d have to say that ShinLee did not intend for this scene to be a trigger of Songhwa realising that she likes Ikjun.

Because she already knows and had realised, somewhere around Ep 8-9 but more obviously 9, that she does like him as a man (all over again). If anything, this ER scene was meant to give Songhwa that one last push to confess, otherwise she may end up regretting not to. Another reason why I felt this scene was necessary was that Songhwa has been too comfortable in Ikjun’s constant presence by her side -- perhaps she has been wanting to confess but still lack the courage to and she didn’t think she needed to act on it rightaway because Ikjun would always be there by her side.

Gosh, the way she rushed to Ikjun and didn’t even hear Dr Bong trying to report to her that he actually wasn’t in such a terrible state. The way she slipped her hand in his and was so gentle in her questions - you can really just tell that she was trying her best not to crumble.

(side note: Jeon Mido, your acting was truly stellar during this scene. That suppressed professionalism vs personal feelings. I really felt her worry and regret in this entire scene. I loved it so much)

Now, why do I firmly believe that Songhwa already intends to confess to Ikjun eventually? Other than the fact that Songhwa herself confirmed during her confession that “I should have told you that I liked you”, it’s because of the Gift that she has given him for his birthday. It’s a cap, and initially we don’t think much of it until the flashback sequence showed and we realised that, a cap was what 99z Songhwa wanted to give to Ikjun but never did because he had turned her down for dinner and lied that he has a blind date.

Present day Songhwa gifting Ikjun a cap can be interpreted as her having let go of the hurt he had caused her in the past and that she was willing to try, again.

Interestingly, I’d like to also point out that the 99z flashback in this episode was truly necessary for us to understand Songhwa’s aversion to ‘Sad Sea’ and why she has rejected Ikjun in the first episode. 99z Songhwa didn’t give up when Ikjun stood her up for her birthday but mustered the courage to confess to him - she tried twice too, asking if he really has to go on that blind date that evening and couldn’t he go another time? Ikjun, in that scene, was playing Sad Sea. 

I would like to apologise to Ep 7 Songhwa because I had been frustrated with her then, but now that everything has been rolled out beautifully, I do not blame her at all for her hesitancy and year long passiveness. Ikjun kinda deserved it after breaking her heart twice (HA!) and remember this shot of Ikjun in Ep 7? 

I now interpret this scene as him realising that he knew Songhwa’s reasons of rejecting him. Because there was no way he didn’t know that Songhwa had liked him in the 99z, and he was perhaps regretting turning her down for dinner that day during his birthday. He knew he had a chance with her then but blew it, and that is perhaps why he never faltered in making Songhwa happy now. Not that he expects anything in return, but perhaps he wanted to make up for the indirect hurt he had caused her.

Bab Meokja had been something initiated by Songhwa back then. And now, it is a treat he gives himself -- I really do think that is the reason why he keeps asking Songhwa out for meals in the present time, because Ikjun probably wanted to indrectly make up for what happened in 99z.

Let’s move on to another great scene! The card game scene!

For some, it may seem to be a random scene but for me, I saw it in a different way and I’m glad Kfans and some users on Twitter pointed out this theory as well. 

As you all know, the card game IkSong was playing was “Bluff/Cheat”. Here, you could see that Ikjun could read Songhwa so well that he knows when she would lie. But Songhwa on the other hand, could not read Ikjun as well -- and this is further affirmed by Songhwa’s confession when she said “If your feelings for me haven’t changed,”. This is beautiful because it makes Ikjun’s expression during the confession scene even more sense -- a user on reddit pointed out that his expression at that time wasn’t more of a “omg she likes me after all”, it was more of a “she has realised her feelings for me,” and I think that’s absolutely beautiful. He even nodded subtlely a few times as Songhwa struggled to get her confession out, as if encouraging her and saying “you can do it, just a bit more”. 

Back to the card game - Ikjun even threw down a 9 Hearts - which I believe is a metaphor of his feelings for her, steady and still unwavering. 

(Bonus note: I absolutely love how Iksun caught on to them being lovey dovey at once and Junwan’s expression catching them was HILARIOUS)

On to my next scene which was absolute favourite.

Songhwa had finished a difficult/challenging surgery, and out of excitement (she even skipped omg whipped girlie), she called Ikjun first to convey the good news to him. Her tone here really depicts a difference in how she talks to Ikjun before. This scene alone tells you that Songhwa has pretty much fallen for Ikjun again and I love love love that finally she has someone she would want to immediately call to share her good news with! 

And the best part? Our best boy Lee Ikjun never went to Changwon. Instead, he waited for her for probably hours (it was bright day when they said goodbye, but night when Songhwa returned to her office) and even told her straight that he has to see her before he leaves because of how worried she had been before. Good lord find me a man like Ikjun please? 

image cr: iksongarchives @ twitter

This entire shot, with I Knew I Love playing in the background pretty much hits. It is in this exact moment that Songhwa has probably made up her mind to confess for real, that she wasn’t going to waste another second because I am sooo sure she would have ran to hug him if not because of their status at that moment. I love this scene so much. It is the personification of the lyrics of I Knew I Love, which goes “I called you out of habit today and you answered warmly, you make me the happiest in the whole wide world, I love you so much”.

And finally. 

Finally.

*takes a deep breath*

SONGHWA CONFESSED!!!!!!!!

AND THEY KISSED!!!! UNDER THE RAIN!!! 

The whole directing of this scene, with the slow camera panning into them - Ikjun was restless, probably breaking into cold sweats (he commented it was cold) while Songhwa was nervous and trying to muster enough courage to confess (she commented it was really hot). I held my breath for so long I felt like I was about to faint I swear to god.

Songhwa looked legit terrified that Ikjun was going to reject her man, and it all makes sense why after we got the 99z flashback this episode. 

And Ikjun, he really waited for her cues. Even after she was done confessing, he looked at her and waited for her to look at him back before he went “I’ll give you my answer”. And it was only after Songhwa nodded in fear and anticipation, that he swooped in to kiss her!!!!!

Songhwa definitely also leaned in first before Ikjun pulled her closer. She wanted this just as much as he did and it showed through their first kiss. Gosh I’m still shaking just thinking about how perfect that entire sequence and kiss was. They really went all out for it (yes I believe there was tongue involved) rather than soft and gentle. 22 years of suppressed yearning and feelings really popped out in that kiss alone and I am so blessed to have been a part of their beautiful journey.

And now, with only one episode left, we are finally able to see IkSong as a couple and on dates. I have a feeling Songhwa would be the clingy gf man, judging from the Preview keke. I cannot wait to see the rest of the boys finding out, and for sure, I cannot wait to see how their dynamics would change now as lovers rather than just best friends. I do think their transition would be seamless, only that now, they get to do what other lovers could.

This post is so long but I felt the need to address another matter that I have seen roaming around the internet. Apparently, some people are annoyed that Songhwa was ‘forced to change her mind’ and that we cannot accept her ‘No’ in ep 1. I would humbly and respectfully disagree on this point. Songhwa’s ‘No’ in ep 1 was not a “I don’t like you therefore I am rejecting you”. It was more of a “I do not know how to sort out my feelings yet, and am not ready to revisit the past, so it is best not to tamper with it”. 

Songhwa did not change her mind overnight or weeks. It took her one year and a few months. She has had all that time to weighs her decisions again and properly thought out how she wanted to bring forward her relationship with Ikjun. She was not forced.

She may have said that she liked being single in S1, but she has never been averse to love. In fact, she is always encouraging other people to go for it. I for one, am single and absolutely enjoying it. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to ever change my mind if I find someone worthy enough to share my space and happiness with. I like being single now because guys around me are idiots and I’d rather save myself that headache LOL.

Her conscious decision to accept Ikjun now does not and will never invalidate her decision to reject him back then - in fact, it goes to show that as human beings, we constantly undergo character growth and our minds are often changed to suit the present circumstances. 

ShinLee did not portray Songhwa in that light where ‘women needs to say yes if a guy treats her right’. Ikjun did all of those things for her without expecting anything in return. He never once crossed the line and never once forced Songhwa into accepting his love for her. Songhwa said yes because she likes Ikjun and is now ready to move their relationship to that of romantic. It is as simple as that.

And one last point to make is that Songhwa being in a relationship does not in any way invalidate that she is a strong and independent woman. Please do not associate the relationship status of a woman to her being ‘strong/independent’. A woman in a relationship and a woman not being a relationship are still BOTH strong AND independent. Love is a universal element in life, why deprive a person of it simply because she’s portrayed to be a “strong” female character? If that love brings her greater joy and ardent happiness, why stop her from enriching her life further?

Anyway. I digress. 

If you made it until the end of this ridiculously long post, thank you. I hope it was an enjoyable read! Till Ep 12!

[ginanosakka]

I Hate it Here

Masterlist

We Were Kids | Next

Moving you into Katsuki’s apartment across town took mere minutes, but everyday you spent there felt like years that you’d never get back. Everything felt too big and nostalgic, and the only thing grounding you to keep you from a panic attack, was Ryu being himself despite being pulled from school and transitioning to home school. He was just happy to be around his father all the time, immediately bombarding him with questions about his day the moment that he stepped through the door.

It wasn’t news that Katsuki wasn’t fond of comforting people, and the thought of him begging for forgiveness was laughable — but that brick wall you put up the moment you stepped through his threshold for the second time was driving him insane. When he was around, you were somewhere else in the house on the phone, or on the laptop you purchased and had shipped to his home as soon as possible. On the rare occasion he did see you for more than a few seconds, you looked drained of life. . and scared.

You were tough even when you two were young — the constant picking at you being quirkless might have made you think he thought otherwise, and he wondered if that contributed to your hardened shell now — but there was the rare occasion when something would break through your tough skin.

And it was always your father that did it.

Katsuki practiced his jabs that he tried out in training with Kirishima on the air, trying to make sure every moment was precise to recreate the amount of damage he dealt everytime. You had tagged along after phoning him and asking what he was doing, receiving the usual ‘I’m training and don’t give a shit if you come or not’ that you always took as a very hostile ‘yes’.

Usually, you’d make small noises of approval as he trained, and after yelling about you messing up his concentration but only getting a tongue stuck out at him in response, he had grown use to your annoying presence. Which is why he stole glances at you today when you were completely silent, and he found himself curious about why you didn’t even look at him as he trained. Bakugou was more aware of your every moment than you’d ever know, and he wanted it to stay that way, so he continued to only steal glances instead of confronting you.

“My dad didn’t tell me happy birthday.” There it was. The moment you’d break the silence and spill your guts to him with no coaxing needed from him.

That’s what drove him crazy about you; how you adapted to his pride and made being there for you so easy.

“He had Jun give me my necklace and money when I woke up, and I asked her if he made any plans to see me today. . She said he’s a busy man and I need to grow up. . Am I asking for too much?”

You looked up at him with every ounce of insecurity on full display, the kind of look he hated seeing on your face more than he hated seeing you in those stupid get-ups your mom bought you. Even he had said happy birthday to you, granted it was though text and there was no gift with it, but at least he had the decency to listen when you said that all you wanted was to hear two simple words from the people you cared about. It pissed Katsuki off even more that he knew you told your dad that’s all you wanted, and it didn’t take a genius to know that he didn’t do it on purpose. Now Katsuki had to be the one to pick up your broken pieces.

“Idiot, it’s not your fault that your old man is trash.” He grunted, turning away from you to stare at nothing so he didn’t have to see that stupid sparkle in your eyes when he said something nice.

That damn sparkle made his heart squeeze.

He was relieved to hear your soft laughter, “I guess you’re right. He’s better at bribing people than caring for them.”

If only he could tell you how true those words were.

“Shit.” Katsuki mumbled under his breathe, the realization of what was happening hitting him like a brick.

That day he went to your office, he hadn’t been there just to get a look at what you had accomplished, and the reason he got so riled up by your secretary was more than just being told he couldn’t see you. He had gotten a tip from Tokoyami that morning about a yakuza organization that was deeply involved in many missing people cases, and also suspects for the assasination of small business companies that were expected to outgrow large corporations.

That organization had your picture on the wall, along with pictures of those who were missing, and ones who had not gone missing but were on police watch due to the likelihood of them being taken next. Katsuki chalked it up to you being seen with him when he was a target for many villains due to his success in taking down and capturing villains with ease, and he let the most obvious point go over his head. He had just immediately wen to go see you to calm his nerves, not even second guessing his own answer that tied this back to the one man he had his own hit on.

The organization that had you targeted, acted under powerful businessmen in Japan. .

Your father was one of those powerful businessmen.

‘It all comes full fucking circle,’ Katsuki thought angrily as he picked up his office phone, knowing that he had to get his least favorite heroes on the case.

“I’m not asking you to take sides, I’m asking you to tell me the truth!” You hissed into the phone, and you could feel every ounce of your patience draining from your body and your tone.

It had been three days. Three days since you moved in with the father of your child, three days of feeling anxious and livid, and three days of trying to get in contact with your mother. For once, you could say that the least of your worries was Katsuki, and now it happened to be the life of your child again. You weren’t stupid — the moment Katsuki mentioned your safety specifically being threatened you knew who had put the hit out on you, and he wanted you to know.

It was your father’s way of warning you that if you even thought of exposing that you were his daughter that ‘went missing’,or tell them what he had done, you and Ryu will never know peace again. The knowledge that you were in his sights again and he still was just as ruthless as ever couldn’t even fully register in your brain, but you knew you had to do something. This was your baby’s life that was in danger again, and this time he isn’t living inside of you so you could have him with you at all times. You didn’t even know how to have this conversation with Katsuki when he didn’t even have the decency to tell you there was someone after your son while he sat in school. In fact, you were doing your best to avoid his presence so you didn’t cause a scene and scare Ryu half to death.

And your mother had the fucking ability to help you, and she decided this was the time to wave the white flag to involving herself in you and your father’s war.

“This isn’t something that I can tell you and your father not disown me too for, Y/N! Do you really expect me to risk my life too?” Your mother responded, and your grip on the phone tightened so much that you weren’t sure how much longer you’d have before it shattered.

“Yes! I expect you to risk your life for me, mom! I expect you to be a mother for just one damn moment in your life to save your grandson! If you can’t tell me what he knows and what you’ve told him, this will not only get ugly for him, but for you too!” You threatened with full intention of making it a reality.

“I can-“ as she spoke you heard a male voice in the background that made your heart sink to the bottom of your stomach before the phone went dead.

You paced the floor with a hand over your mouth to keep from screaming with Ryu napping in the other room, but this situation could only be fully resolved with risks being taken. The company you put blood sweat and tears into — you had long since realized you never wanted to start an entire company, but it was the best thing you knew how to do to make money to give your son the life he deserved — was going to have to be put in jeopardy. Your life, and more importantly your son’s life, would be in immediate danger once you decide to wage this war.

It’s father against daughter, and loser loses everything.

“You were really going to go through this again alone? You really piss me off sometimes.”

You whirled around to the door of the guest bedroom you were in to see not only Katsuki, but Eiji also standing there. It didn’t shock you in the slightest how pissed Katsuki looked, but Kirishima’s deathly stare had you frozen in place. Even though you knew in the back of your mind that their anger was towards your father, you couldn’t help but feel weak when two very famous pro heroes had their murderous gazes on full display for you.

“You don’t have to worry,” Kirishima said and flashed you a hardened arm. “No one is going to touch you or Ryu on my watch.”

Katsuki grunted, “I’ll kill anyone that tries.”

(A\N: So who’s ready to see full on angst, romance, and a badass reader? Cause I am ^_^! Also the amount of love and insight you guys give me on this story is insane and I still can’t than you enough 🥺 I hope you enjoy! <3

Taglist (Closed) <3 : @fandomgirllover @cloudsgathering @that-bipolar-renegade-romantic @jazzylove @that-chick212 @bonbonthedragon @misssugarless @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @bakugous-bakahoe @pinkykookie17 @animexholic @arielting @samkysnks @simpforeveryone @damnirina @deneuves @tsumuuumiyaaaa @vintage-teddyxo @regalmigraine @samvmgh @iamagalaxy @officialtrashbusiness @xwackk @videogameboiwhowins @marajillana @ellasdilemma @plutoneu @saucey-kneecapzz42020 @thestarsanctuary @dewdropwifu @star-light-imagines @kritiiiii @bakugosbottombitch @the2ndl @candybabey @simply-not-the-same @sam-i-am-1025 @mes-bisous @eternallyvenus @peppytine @chaelysian @definitely-yours @oikawarc @suneaterofthebig3 @m0na-l0ver @nkb0048 @losertsukki i @notyourfavorlte @caramelsquares @hikaru-mikazuki

[tooweirdforyou]

Valentine’s » Eustass Kid

A/N : :O. Valentine’s fic for Eustass Kid? Yes. :D hope you enjoy it.

I definitely changed my idea halfway so this might be a weird transition or just a bad fic because UGH idk man, Kid is hard.

I just realized all of these are school themed.

Summary : Valentine’s Day, Kid’s most hated holiday.

-

“Chocolates? No, I haven’t. Why?”

Nami sighs in exasperation at your obliviousness. “What do you mean why!? Aren’t you going to give anyone one?”

You raise a brow and continue to walk beside her in the halls, heading towards lunch.

“Why would I? Not like I like anyone enough to make chocolates especially for them. Plus, it’s a waste of time.”

Nami deadpans at you for a moment before exhaling in defeat. “Right, there’s no one that would like someone like you anyways.”

“And that means?” You narrow your eyes at her, who immediately jumps and raises her hands in defense.

“I-I mean with your reputation around the school and all! I mean, you beat up kids and you pick fights like some delinquent.”

You relax your shoulders at her response and turn away from her to face the halls.

“Rumors are rumors, Nami.”

Glancing at the ginger out of the corner of your eyes, who visibly stared at you in surprise.

“But they’re true.”

Nami’s bewildered and baffled expression erupted a laugh from you, smiling at her in amusement.

“Don’t worry, I only pick on the ones that mess with the weak students. I saved Usopp’s ass a couple times too, so I’m doing him a favor.” You shrug as you see the cafeteria approaching closer and entered it.

“I guess that’s better.. but to me, picking fights like that is really too much. You’re no different from Eustass Kid to me.”

“Eustass Kid?”

“Haven’t heard the rumors about him? The red head who’s loud and brash and just an insensitive asshole to be around. You’re a lot like him.”

“Gee. Thanks. I always knew you loved me.” You roll your eyes at the ginger who merely giggles as she walks with you to your table.

Passing many others, you see several girls handing out chocolates to many of the boys.

“Law sure is popular..”

No doubt, the tall stoic male had a large line of girls waiting to give their chocolates.

“Many of the guys in our school is popular.. everyone we know has gotten at least one. Even Koby, the shyest one at our school has at least five.” Nami says as she continues to look around.

“And? What about you? Did you give yours to Luffy?”

Nami’s eyes widens at question and she scoffs. “That dumbass? Why would I?” She turns away but you saw the very faint flush of her cheeks, making your smile.

“Oh, I guess even Kid is getting some..” wandering your eyes around, you land on the particular red-head and find a girl bowing to him timidly and holding out the box.

“A-Ah, Eustass.. I-I wanted to give you some chocolates! For Valentine’s Day..”

You watch silently and stopped in your tracks to see what he would do.

And to your surprise, Kid stares blankly at it.

“I refuse.”

Needless to say, the girl was quite shocked. “W-What?”

“Get that disgusting shit away from me.” He immediately slaps the box of chocolates out of her hands and into the floor, making you scoff.

“How stuck up.” You mutter and turn away, not knowing Kid’s keen senses of hearing heard you from where he was.

“The fuck was that?”

You roll your eyes, mentally cursing to yourself for getting his attention and turned to his direction, going towards the female, who had tears streaming down her cheeks at the embarrassment.

You walk past the two and knelt down to the box of chocolates. By then, everyone in the cafeteria was watching closely, silent to see what would happen.

Picking up the box, you dust it off and inspected it before smiling lightly and walking to the girl.

“[Name]..”

“Hey, it’s not damaged, and it’s still edible. I’m sure they taste amazing so don’t bother giving it to this asshole right here, okay?”

Kid’s brow twitches with every word you spoke, his fists clenching tightly as he scowls.

“He’s just an insensitive prick who needs to feel superior so don’t waste any time with him. Give this to someone else, who deserves this.” Holding out the box, you offer a kind smile.

The female only widens her eyes before nodding firmly. “Thank you, [Name].” She gives one last look to Kid before running off.

Shoving your hands into your pocket, you began to walk back to Nami when his voice called you.

“Oi.”

You stop in your tracks and stood there, unmoving.

“Are you shittin’ with me right now?”

“Pardon?”

Kid stands up, Killer quick to get up and place a hand on his shoulder. “Kid.”

“You got a problem with me? You prissy bitch.”

You tilt your head and smirked a little in amusement, hearing Nami rushing up to you and grabbing your hand. “[Name], let’s go already!” She hisses.

“Quite the vulgar tongue, Eustass. I’m surprised you even had a girl offer you chocolates.” You mock, ignoring Nami’s protests.

Suddenly, Kid was in front of you, lifting you up a bit as he grips the collar of your shirt.

He growls as he glares daggers into you. “Why, you little—!” He suddenly smirks at he stares down at you. “At least I had someone offer me that shit. I heard no one even wants to get near you.”

Your smirk drops as you stare coldly at the red-head. “It doesn’t matter whether I got one or not. People think I’m not deserving of any gifts anyways. People will believe any rumor they hear.” You mutter, raising your hand to place it on Kid’s and forced it off, making him let go.

“What did you say?..”

Kid didn’t say anything as he continues to glare at you deeply but you didn’t pay any mind.

“How about you quit being such a dick every second of the day, for once? I bet you can’t even handle that.” You scoff, rolling your eyes at him and turned to Nami. “I’m leaving.”

“Piece of shit.” You curse him under your breath as you ignored the stares you received as you left the cafeteria.

“Rumors..”

-

The rest of the day, you intentionally avoided everyone who came up to you.

With the simple excuse that you needed to get home, you were allowed some peace as you packed up your things and went to your shoe locker to switch out your shoes.

Unfortunately, luck was not on your side.

“Hey.”

You took in a deep breath and shut your shoe locker and stared at it blankly before turning around to face the owner of the voice.

“What do you want, Eustass Kid?”

Kid glares a tad bit at the sound of his name coming out of your lips like that before clicking his tongue.

“Take this.” In his hand was a chocolate bar, to which he tossed at you. With ease, you caught it and stared down at it with furrowed brows.

“What’s this?” Kid rolls his eyes and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Are you blind? It’s a chocolate bar from the vending machine, dumbass.”

Your brow twitched are his response. “I meant.. what this is for.” Kid exhaled deeply and grunts.

“... Just take it. I don’t get why you people like this chocolate shit but..” His eyes flashes over to you before his mind began to think back on your expression earlier in the lunchroom.

Despite the tone and harshness your voice was heard, Kid just briefly was able to read your pained and hurt look in your eyes.

It irritated him when he saw it.

“..Tch. Whatever, Happy Valentine’s or some shit.”

You blink a couple times at the chocolate bar in your hands before looking up at Kid, who began walking off with a quiet grumble.

“...” The faint smile began to become visible on your lips as you clutch the bar tightly and hum.

Maybe the rumors of Eustass Kid himself weren’t all true either.

Lost in thought, you miss Kid’s glance back at your figure and saw the small lip curve upwards, and something stirred in his chest.

It suddenly felt warm at the sight of it.

“..Tch..”

[marvelfansince08love]

“It’s you, you idiot. I’m in love with you!”

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Word count:  3060

Warning: My bad writing I guess 

Prompt 13, “It’s you, you idiot. I’m in love with you!”

A/N: Van my darling, my best gal. I hope you enjoy this. I may have been inspired by your baking attempts with this prompt ngl x

Thank you to @canarypoint​ again you legend x

Also Tumblr really didn’t like me uploading this so I’m sorry if it’s all bunched together. 

Tags: @missmonsters2

“It’s you, you idiot. I’m in love with you”

"Okay, I went to five different stores, nearly killed a guy and almost lost the checklist. However, I managed to find everything you needed to make that dish, Myshka" Nat says, rushing through the kitchen; both hands full of bags filled with ingredients.  I wipe the bead of sweat from between my brow and sigh in relief, before leaning towards her and planting a quick kiss to her cheek. 

"You are the best assassin and friend a girl could ask for" Nat fakes disgust as she wipes at her cheek. 

"Yeah, yeah if I didn't like the idea of you trying to woo her so much. You'd be joining the guy at the store" she grumbles while helping me remove all the ingredients from the bags. We both make quick work at preparing the famous Chicken Paprikash dish and with Nat's amazing abilities at being able to read almost every language it almost seemed effortless. 

If we both weren't so bad at cooking.

 I keep an eye on the time, anticipating her arrival home. Wanda, Steve, Bucky and Sam had been sent on an undercover mission almost two weeks ago, the whole thing had been kept under the radar with only a few of us in the know. 

"You think we have enough time, Nat?" 

"Of course, Sam messaged me about half an hour ago. They'll be back in 2 hours that gives us plenty of time to cook this dish and help build up your courage to finally confess your undying love for our, Malen'kaya Ved'ma (little witch). Now stop pacing around, you're making me dizzy" 

Since joining the Avengers over a year ago, I've gotten to know each of them very well, already knowing Natasha and Clint from our Shield days it was an easy transition into the great band of supers, that was until I met Wanda Maximoff. Her sparkling hazel eyes and long chestnut hair framing her beautiful face with that shy smile had me a goner from the moment I laid my eyes on her. After a few weeks of being with the team every day for training and team-bonding sessions, the more I realised how much fun and carefree Wanda could be. After speaking to Clint one drunken night about our blossoming friendship outside of the team buildings and training I was dumbfounded by how shocked he was to hear about that side of Wanda which they all only catch small glimpses off. According to Clint after losing her brother she was an empty shell of herself just moving through life as if it was a chore and not a gift to walk this earth. 

I guess she just needed a reason to live again. 

After that revelation I continued to spend time with her alone, I asked more about her and her life in Sokovia, her face lighting up talking about her family and all the traditions they would follow each year even if her and Pietro weren't overly fond of them. Some nights there were tears as she spoke fondly of her brother and her parents no matter how briefly they were mentioned. She would laugh at all the stories I would tell her about our shield adventures both on mission and around the base, her mouth wide and eyes bright with mischief as I relay the story about how me and Nat unscrewed the screws from one of the vents just enough for Clint to fall through right above Fury's office while he was in a meeting with the council. Since she's been away and radio silent, I've never felt so lost even with Natasha around trying her best to cheer me up and letting me win more sparring matches than ever before. 

I take a deep breath in and settle my nerves before helping Nat continue to season the chicken.

 "Okay so it says that we have to boil the rice in a non-stick pan? How do we tell the difference?" I look at her dumbfounded.

"For someone who's supposed to be the world’s most smartest, most deadliest assassin you sure are dumb" I state, I can feel her eyes burning into me. If looks could kill... 

"Do you want my help or not?" 

"No, no I need your help. Thank you Natalia" I say sweetly, smiling innocently at her. She rolls her eyes and continues with the rice. 

Once everything is in the cooker and pan, we retreat to the kitchen island, a bottle of beer in hand as we talk about anything and everything. After some time had passed, I'm interrupted by Nat's hand indicating for me to stop talking as she sniffs at the air. 

"What is that god awful smell?" 

My eyes widen in fear as I start to notice the smoke coming from the pan. I race to grab the fire extinguisher while Nat tries desperately to turn everything off and open the kitchen window. I quickly release the white foam over the pan cutting the small fire off,  as I step back my foot slips slightly on the wet floor, sending me crashing to the floor but not before I manage to hit Nat square in the face with the foam. I groan slightly at my now bruised ass and tenderly sit up, leaning against the counter behind me.We both sit in silence for a moment before bursting into laughter, Nat joining me on the floor, so we're shoulder to shoulder. 

"Let's agree to never cook again".

 "Agreed" 

"God damn it, look at my shirt it’s ruined! I can't confess anything to her looking like this! She'd think I'm crazy!" I quickly unbuttoned my shirt revealing a thin, white tank top underneath. 

"What the hell happened here?" The most angelic voice exclaims by the kitchen doorway, our eyes widen as we both come to the same conclusion. 

She's back. Early.

I quickly scramble to my feet and try to adjust myself accordingly before sending her a beaming smile which quickly turns in a worrying frown after taking in her tired complexion, her hazel eyes no longer holding that bright twinkle whenever she smiles. A large cut visible across her right eyebrow and Sam standing behind her not looking any better. 

"Oh my god, Wanda!" I race forward and delicately place my hands on either side of her face, my eyes scanning every inch of skin. She winces slightly before grasping my forearms gently and removing them away from her face. 

"Oh Sam, how are you? You want me to help clean up that cut, maybe get you snack" I hear Sam mutter behind us rhetorically.I roll my eyes in good nature as Nat laughs behind me. 

"I'm okay, Lumina mea (my light). You should see the other guy" she attempts a small grin before casting her eyes over to the mess that is the kitchen and Nat quietly trying to salvage the meal, with no real joy. I blush at hearing her native tongue slip through at the end of her sentence even if I don't understand the meaning behind the saying. 

"Again, I'll ask, what the hell happened in here and why can I smell paprika?" Her cute button nose scrunches adorably as she takes in my crumbled-up shirt and Nat's wet face. 

"Oh, well we uh.. decided to try and cook a meal for you guys. We know the mission was rough and wanted to surprise you all, we kind of got carried away" I grimace at my cowardly response, I can feel the disappointment in waves from Natasha's direction. 

Okay so I'm not ready to come out with it yet, sue me. 

"Oh, you could have waited until I got back and asked me to help. You know how much I love to make paprikash"I can see the hurt in her eyes even though she tries to brush it off with a small smile. She knows what a bad cook Nat is and how much she loves cooking for you both after a rough mission. 

Great, you've also offended her.

Good going Y/N. 

There's an awkward silence between the four of us before Wanda clears her throat and takes a step back towards the entrance way. 

"I'm gonna go and get cleaned up, I'll see you both at the party tonight, yes?" She addressed us both, but her eyes stayed locked on mine. I blush slightly at the thought of her wanting my company. 

Please she was addressing you both Y/N, as if you would ever stand a chance.

 "Of course, Wanda, we wouldn't miss it" Nat answers for us as I continue to stare at her. I quickly avert my eyes and nod in acknowledgement. 

"We'll be there" 

Once she leaves a dry towel hits me square in the chest, I instantly catch it while looking up in the direction of the thrower. 

"Come on lover girl, let's clean this mess up and order a take away. I'm starving. Also, Sam "we'll be there in two hours" can you not map out a timescale" 

"Listen I lost a lot of blood tryna get out of that place, forgive me please" he grumbles jokingly as he sulks out of the room, mumbling about never getting any attention for how badass he is. 

*** 

A few hours pass by and before I know it, I'm making the final touches to my makeup. A loud knock echoes in the room before Nat swings it wide open and struts in looking like a red-headed goddess. Her dark green off the shoulder dress clinging to her in all the right places. With one more stroke of my mascara brush I turn and face my best friend with a grin. 

"You ready?" 

"If you need me tonight, I'll be behind the bar, slowly drinking my boredom away" "Hey, am I such bad company?!" 

"Well youuuu, missy is going to charm your way into Maximoff’s pants. Therefore, you will be too busy to entertain me tonight, Myshka" 

"Nat, I don't think tonight is the right time, you saw how she looked in the kitchen today. She doesn't need me pestering her all night" 

"Actually, it's the perfect time! Go an' comfort her and if you manage to slip in that you love her then great!" I roll my eyes in good nature before making my way to my door. 

"Come on, Romanoff. I need a drink" 

*** 

The party is too loud and overly crowded with people none of us really know with drinks flowing around every part of the room. 

"Why does he always feel the need to throw a party every time we finish a mission?" 

"Would he be Tony if he didn't? You gotta give him credit though this party is insane" Nat murmurs beside me, making me chuckle in agreement. 

My eyes are already scanning for the beautiful brunette avenger. Nat notices me searching and shoves me forward slightly. 

"Go find her, I'll be by the bar" with one last shove, I'm left by myself looking out into the crowd. 

My eyes finally land on the brown-haired beauty, I bite my lip as I take in her form. A long black flowy dress falls just past her knees with the straps of the dress sitting comfortably just off the shoulder, giving me a great view of her cleavage. Her hair hangs curled and loose over her shoulders, her red lipstick perfectly in place. 

God she's beautiful. 

As I continue to take her in, I notice an unfamiliar arm resting around her waist. I look up to identify the persons whose arm it is and my heart stops as I witness this man lean his mouth to her ear and whisper some bullshit that makes her laugh out, he pulls back clearly satisfied with the response he got from her. As if sensing a presence her eyes turn and rest upon me, a soft smile forming on those red lips. I quickly drop my gaze and turn away from her, heading straight to the bar; trying hard to blend into the crowd.

 "Why the sour face?" Nat questions as she instantly hands me a bottle from behind the bar. 

"You didn't tell me she was seeing someone" I sulk to her before taking a big gulp from the bottle, cringing slightly at the bitter taste. Nat's eyebrows pinch together as if confused by my statement. She leans forward slightly over the bar to peer over my shoulder to take a good look at Wanda and the mystery man. 

"Who? Matthews? Please that guy wishes he could have her. She's just being polite Y/N" Nat tries to reassure me, but I can't seem to remove the image out of my head. 

"It's not like I stood a chance anyway" I grumble grabbing the vodka shot from Nats hand and letting the burning liquid flow down my throat. After a few hours of drinking with Nat; who’s now joined me on the other side of the bar, I start to feel the effects of the alcohol hit me as I laugh out loud from the stupid stories Nat seems to be sharing. Any thoughts of Wanda and her mystery guy fading into the background of my mind. 

Or that's what I keep telling myself. 

In my daze, I quickly lose my balance on the bar stool but before I could hit the floor, I feel a familiar strong arm wrap itself around me, steadying me on the stool. 

"Careful Myshka, you'll end up on your ass" Nat teases as I start to lean heavily against her, sleep fighting to take over. 

"Also, just to let you know Maximoff has been looking over here all night and throwing daggers at me, similar to the one she's throwing right now" Nat says clearly amused at the concept. She leans herself further towards me and traces her finger up and down my arm slightly, my eyes widen in surprise before she leans in and whispers: 

"Just got with it" 

Before I have a chance to question her, I feel a warm body pressed into my back. I gasp slightly at the faint smell of cherries and forest, the smell consuming my senses. I close my eyes briefly knowing that smell all too well. Her lips brush slightly against my ear, making me shiver. 

"Can I talk to you in private, Y/N" I barely have time to nod before her arm is wrapping tightly around me and escorting away from Natasha and out of the room. Once we are alone, she releases her hold on me and starts to pace in front of me, her dress sway slightly with each turn. I stand watching her waiting for her to gather her thoughts, I bite my lip anxiously debating whether to make the first move. She stops suddenly and takes a deep breath in before releasing it into the open air and turning to look at me with a heartbroken expression. 

"You've been avoiding me all night" I gape at her forwardness before replying defensively: 

"No, I haven't, maybe you've been a little preoccupied with prince charming on steroids in there to notice me at all!" She frowns slightly, almost bashfully.

"You mean Matthews? Y/N that guy has a brain of a mouse. I was simply being polite. Anyway, you are one to talk! Are you and Nat ever going to go public because the way shes’s being all handsy with you tonight, you may as well let everyone know!" Now it's my turn to gape at her in shock becoming slightly annoyed.

 I take a step towards her slightly wanting to keep her full attention on me as I feel the word vomit slowly creeping its way up my throat.

"Are you being serious right now?! Me and Nat are best friends that's never even been a thought! Are you so blind to see Wanda?! You think I'd go and pick up your favourite flowers every Thursday even though they make my nose itch and makes me sneeze because I thought they'd brighten up your bedroom? You have plants covering every window sill! You think I'd attempt to cook a dish that I can barely understand let alone cook and make a complete mess of it for just anyone?! Wanda you are always in my thoughts every day, the past two weeks have been torturing for me wondering when you'd be home.  I missed you all the damn time! I missed our nights in where it was just the two of us watching crap reality television because even though we make fun of it we both secretly love the drama" She stares at me in shock, her lip twitching into a smile ever so slightly at the last part of my confession. 

Her silence clearly an invitation for me to continue: 

"But you really want to know what I missed about those nights while you've been gone. I missed watching your beautiful face scrunch up slightly as you slowly doze off with your head falling onto my shoulder. I would stay sitting in that upright position for hours if it meant keeping you like that, close to me. Wanda there could never be a me and Nat... you wanna know why? It's you, you idiot. I'm in love with you!" 

Her emerald green eyes drop to the floor, suddenly finding it very interesting before a wide smile settles on her red lips and her eyes slowly make their way to meeting mine. 

“You love me?” 

“Yes I love you, you idiot” I whisper, shuffling slightly feeling uncomfortable and exposed with my feelings. 

Before I can turn and hide away from my embarrassing confession, I feel warm, soft lips press hard against my own, the taste of vanilla chapstick lingers on my lips as I brush my tongue gently against her bottom lip making her gasp, granting me access. Our tongues clash, both fighting for dominance before pulling away slightly, my teeth catching her bottom lip gently and tugging at the soft skin softly before letting go with a small pop. 

"If I'm an idiot, I'll be an idiot who’s in love with you too" she whispers breathlessly into the open air between us, her forehead resting gently against my own. 

I smile.  

[anjuschiffer]

Amira Wayne - Chapter 17

Another chapter! Woo! And yes, I’m still going on with @biodad-bruce-month event despite being two months since it ended :D

Chapter 17: Villain (2)

WARNING: BLOOD MENTION AND DEATH IN THIS CHAPTER

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P.Tag: @theatreandcomicfreak @damianette-is-life @toodaloo-kangaroo @elijahcrevan @vixen-uchiha @nathleigh

Tag: @we-want-mini-mini @ramos123 @bluesimani @redscarlet95 @greatcatblaze @promiswords @fantasiame @corabeth11 @anonymously-odd @alexandriamw @officiallydarkgeek @galla02006 @maleive07 

-

MASTERLIST | FIRST | PREV | AO3

Something wasn’t right and no, it didn’t take Wally having to see fog outside Amira’s bedroom to know that. 

He had been on the phone with Dick, telling him of Amira’s stress baking when the chilly afternoon became a dark, foggy evening. 

Rolls of mist covered the Parisian roads, people yelling out to each other as they stumbled to find each other. 

“Dick. I have to call you back.” Wally said as he scrambled around the room in search of his suitcase. 

To think he would need Barry’s gift so soon. 

“Back? Wally what is-“ Wally hung up when he found the comms, his eyes darting around the room until he found a box tucked under the desk labeled ‘utilities.’

Rummaging around it, he grabbed some flashlights, batteries and some goggles before heading into the Parisian street. 

He thought the fog was bad from behind the window, but now standing in...it was a nightmare. 

Amira, please...be safe...

Fishing for his phone, Wally quickly scrolled through his contacts until he found Amira’s and began to call it. 

The longer the call rang, the more Wally began to worry. 

When his call didn’t get through, he tried again, turning on the goggles, taken aback at how high tech they were. 

The perks of being rich he guessed. 

When he noticed that the night vision wouldn’t work in this situation, Wally switched over to thermal, running into the school across the street and up the stairs.

“Marinette!” Wally yelled, holding back the urge to yell out her real name. But he knew better than that. 

He knew better than to yell out Amira’s real identity.

“Marinette! Where are you?” Wally yelled out again, looking to see if anyone reacted to the name. That’s when he noticed a heat carefully walked towards the doorway of a classroom on the second floor.

“Hello?” A Parisian asked him, Wally biting his tongue. Damn it!

“Listen, do you speak English?” 

“A little.” The person said back.

“That’s fine. Do you know where Marinette is? Do you know what happened to-”

“She was akumatized!” The person bellowed back, Wally feeling his heart stop.

Amira...Amira is the akuma? She...she got akumatized...by Hawkmoth?

How? This wasn’t part of the plan she told him last night!

Snapping from his spiraling thoughts, Wally cupped his hands around his mouth.

“What caused it?” Wally asked, wondering what the hell happened to Amira that caused her to lose control of her emotions.

What caused her to snap?

“She had a little argument over a boy with her classmate. About a boy named...Jason.”

Holy shit.

“No, no, no, no.” Wally muttered to himself, digging his hands into his hair, hating the answer to his questions.

“Are you-” The person asked, Wally seeing them almost hit with the balcony in front of them.

“Stop! Don’t leave the classroom! Stay in there and wait for La-Chat Noir and the team to arrive.” Wally managed to say, his brain running through every possible situation to help him cope with the idea that Amira was somewhere out there, distorted by her emotions…

Alone..dealing with emotions she never liked lingering in for too long...walking with her baggage of pain...and guilt…

Wait...the person said she was arguing with someone who knew Jason...but how was that possible?

“-can do for you?” Wally managed to register, running up the stairs and walked into the classroom, shutting the door behind him.

“I need you to tell me what exactly happened before Marinette got akumatized and don’t you dare try to cover up any details. If you do…” Wally closed his eyes and took a deep breath, hoping he wouldn’t jinx the situation. “This akuma may become your livelihood for a very long time and not only that...this maybe be the Miraculous Team’s last fight and be Hawkmoth’s victory.”

---

Adrien held Chloe close as she continued to grip at his shirt, her body shaking violently as she muttered incoherent words. Tears ruined her makeup, her eyes bloodshot red as Chloe remained curled against Adrien’s shirt.

“Adrikins...you’re still there...right?”

“I’m still here.” Adrien assured, hugging Chloe closer to him.

“Maman and Daddy… I saw them die before my eyes. And I saw Sabrina and Mari...they..they also-”

“You don’t have to tell me.” Adrien hushed, turning to where Plagg was despite not being able to see anything but his glowing green eyes.

After Mari-Banshee caused Chloe to collapse and then disappeared from his sight, Adrien ordered Nino and Sabrina to head back to the class while he took care of Chloe.

Carefully dragging her to the locker room, Adrien began to softly talk to her, holding her hands as he tried to think of a way to lessen the effect of Banshee’s power on Chloe so that he could-

“-help her.” Cloe muttered out, Adrien feeling her hesitantly push herself away from him. “Go help her, Adrien.”

“Chloe, you aren’t-”

“But she needs more help than me Adrien.” Chloe echoed. “I know this will go away once the akuma is found, but right now...we need to do something about the akuma. Who knows how long Ladybird will get here and get rid of the akuma, but we’re here. You’re here.”

Adrien felt as Chloe untangled her hand from his. “I can’t do anything, but you can. You can help de escalate the situation and you even know who she is after. So please...help her Adrien...she’s our friend...who knows how long she can endure it…”

Adrien bit his lip, feeling Plagg settle back into Adrien’s pocket inside his jacket.

“I’ll try Chloe. I’ll try.”

Giving Chloe’s hand a squeeze, Adrien slowly makes his way back to where he last saw Marinette, holding back a scream that nestled in his throat.

“Kid. We need to hurry.” Plagg reminded him. “Because Chloe was right. We don’t know how long it will take Ladybird to find Marinette so we need all hands on-”

“I know Plagg.” Adrien cut off, digging his nails into his palms. “Plagg, claws out!”

---

Dick paced around his apartment, putting his phone to his ear as he attempted to call both Wally and Amira, only to get sent to voicemail. 

Huffing, Dick was about to call again when Tim called first. 

“Tim, can this-“

“This is urgent.”

“Tim, I’m trying to-“

“Something wrong is happening in Paris right now. Just open the link I sent you right now.”

With Tim hanging up, Dick got a message and opened it, watching a Parisian news station play on his screen. 

“Nadja Chamack. Don’t bemused, it’s just the news. As you can see, it’s currently XX:XX and yet-“ Then the camera pans to show the conditions outside. “Our once sunny December day became a foggy night, our reporters are trying to- what? An akuma?” 

The station then transitioned into a live feed of what seemed to be a figure walking within the fog. 

“This just in! Turns out that this is the result of Hawkmoths most recent akuma! So everyone who is watching, under no circumstance, do not leave the premises you are-“

Nadja went on to talk about akuma protocol when Dick notices something oddly familiar about the figure that walked within the live video. 

That bracelet on her hand…

Dick felt his heart sink to his stomach. 

Grabbing some keys and his bike, Dick began making phone calls again, hating that no one was picking up... 

Or so he thought. 

“Selina? Yes... I need a favor.”

—-

Wally slammed his fist against the teacher’s desk, hearing a few gasps escape from the students in the class. 

Damn that Lila. Can’t even face the consequences of her own actions. 

“Did you idiots seriously not think something was wrong when someone you knew was acting unusual? Even if they weren’t your friend, when someone isn’t acting like themselves, that means you should be concerned.” Silence filled the room. Wally recomposed himself. 

This was no time to lecture these idiots. Right now I have to track down both Marinette and Lila Rossi. “Does anyone know where Lila would have run off to?”

When he got nothing but silence for an answer, Wally held his composure. “Okay so no one actually knows this girl. Fine. I’ll look for her my-“

“Shouldn’t you leave this to Ladybird and her team?” The teacher spoke, Wally really wondering how dependent Parisians have become on their ‘heroes’ taking action first. 

“My best friend has been akumatized and we haven’t heard a single update about the situation from the Parisian vigilantes. My thoughts? The Miraculous Team is having trouble finding either person and if I can at least help to locate Marinette, then so be it. 

I’m not going to stand here and just depend on the vigilantes when I know I can actually do something to help.”

Walking towards the door, he stopped. “I suggest you guys find a way to deal with the mist inside this classroom. Perhaps turn the ventilation system on or something. You rather be able to see each other can keep each other company rather than not knowing what’s going on in the very room you think you’re safe in.”

With that, Wally dashed out the room, not noticing two other people walk behind him. 

—-

Lila stumbled as she ran away from the thing that was supposed to be Marinette.

That creature dressed in an ombre dress that transitioned from white to black and whose eyes haunted her was no Marinette!

That was a creature straight from tales she used to hear from the nanny that took care of long ago.

A banshee.

Lila held in a whimper as tears filled her eyes as she heard the akumatized Marinette’s hums, hums that fluctuated between her name being shrieked and soft wails. 

“Lila.” She would whisper in a hoarse voice, causing Lila to run even more. “Where are you?”

Lila turned a corner and scrambled to hide behind a dumpster, collapsing her hands over her mouth as she heard Marinette slowly make her way towards her.

Lila shut her eyes tight as she heard the hum grow louder, Lila hating that the hum kept getting louder by the second.

The hum was now right at the corner Lila had finished turning when it came to a halt.

With the foggy streets and the humming coming to a stop, Lila could hear her footsteps nice and clear, listening as her heels clicked and clacked as Marinette walked on the cobblestone street. 

Lila didn’t dare to move, she didn’t dare breath as she kept hearing those dreading footsteps. She did, however, wish she had another set of hands as a piercing shriek, in the form of her name, rang throughout the Parisian streets.

Lila didn’t know what happened next as the shriek caused her ears and head ring, her vision becoming muddled as Lila attempted to open her eyes.

She wishes she had not.

As she fluttered her eyes open, bloodshot red eyes looked back at her, a thin smile directed at her.

“Here you are.” Marinette sang in her raspy voice.

Lila felt herself begin to violently shake as Marinette helped her get up by grabbing her wrists. “You know, you didn’t have to make up all those lies to get the class to like you. They just love to throw themselves to anyone if it meant gaining a new friend. They’re just so open hearted like that.

Of course, those types of people are the type whom I’m not fond of, so I steered away from them.

Sadly, you thought lying to them was the best course of action instead of checking to see if you had to lie or not to get their adoration. I could only assume you thought this was the best course of action as it's been your main way of getting attention.

Sadly, you have to pay for your actions this time ‘round. 

Didn’t your mother teach you that every action has a consequence?”

Lila watched as Marinette let go of her hands.

“While they might forgive you for lying to them, I will not. You disparage my brother’s name and for that, you shall pay, Lila Rossi.”

She grabbed hold of Lila’s hand, Lila letting out a deathly scream as her hand went ablaze, watching as Marinette’s veil turned pitch black in color.

“Pay for your lies, for your manipulations and schemes.”

Lila felt her other hand go ablaze and soon her heart began to burn, screaming her lungs out as she watched her get swallowed by the ground.

She screamed and cried as she clawed to bring herself back up to the surface, only to feel cold hands pull her down.

“This is your punishment, Lila Rossi. Suffer like I have at the loss of my dear brother.”

The last thing Lila saw before being pulled underground was Marinette’s veil and dress turn pitch black, a vivid black she had never seen before.

Black just like the void that swallowed her, a black that was the only thing Lila could see for miles around her.

She didn’t know for how long she kept screaming, how long she was crying but she knew for quite some time as her throat grew dry. It became itchy, her eyes stinging and she started to grow cold. 

She began to walk through the darkness, not daring to stretch out her arms in fear that she may attack her once again. 

That’s when she saw him. 

Standing there, in the darkness, was a man with olive green eyes and chestnut hair staring back at her.

A man she knew...

“Papà?” She said hoarsely. 

She watched as the man looked at her with a smile, opening up his arms, welcoming her. 

With a warbling smile, Lila ran to her father, only for him to disintegrate upon her touch. 

“Papà!” Lila screeches, running after the dust. Why? Why?!

“Lila.” She heard her mother say monotonously, causing Lila to promptly shut up and stop pathetically trying to get her father back. 

She slowly turned to her side, having to look up to see her mother’s pale face. 

Was she always this tall? 

Looking at herself, Lila realized she was holding her mother's hand and standing before her father’s grave. 

She was 9 again. 

9...“You can’t keep crying mia stella. We have to keep moving, no matter what. It’s what he would have wanted us to do.”

“Yes, Mamma.” Lila complied, watching as the two walked from the grave, watching how the grave quickly got invaded by thorn covered vines with each step she took. “Bye, Papà.”

.

“Bastarda! Bastarda!” The boys chanted as they circled her, Lila covering her ears, shutting her eyes as she crouched towards the floor. 

“Smettila! [Quit it!]” Lila yelled, holding in tears as she heard the girls in her class whisper and snicker about her. 

It wasn’t her fault that her mother couldn’t afford the latest clothing, the latest car or anything new for that matter. 

If only her mother were more than just a secretary. If only her mother were someone important. 

How she hated that they were able to see through her lies. 

She could hear the laughter ringing around her, the chants of her being a bastard and bugiarda [poor] echoing in her mind. 

She watched as smeared faces of her past circled around her, laughing at her and began to sing. 

“Delilah! Delilah! Delilah the liar!”

“Shut up!” Lila screamed, but it went ignored. 

The faces continued to sing and ridicule her, Lila screaming until she couldn’t anymore. 

---

Chat looked out to the city below him, clicking his tongue when he wasn’t able to see anything below despite being at the very top of the Eiffel Tower.

Taking out his staff, Chat called Queen Bee, only to be sent directly to voicemail. He tried again, this time using their other mode of communication.

When he heard a click, Chat was about to talk when Bee beat him to it.

“I’m down Chat.’

“What?”

“I was in the area when the akuma struck. I tried to apprehend the Victim, but she got to me first. I don’t think I can...I don’t think I can fight in my condition Chat.”

Chat huffed, picking up a shriek in the distance. Narrowing his eyes, Chat started to sprint to the direction of which the shriek came from. 

“Have you heard anything from Ladybird?” Chat asked, almost crashing into someone when he got to the ground. “I tried calling her, but-”

“I didn't get anything from her…” Chat heard a shuddering of breath from the other side. “Do you think...do you think the Victim got to her?”

“Let’s hope she didn’t.” Chat said, realizing where he was. Extending his staff, he went straight to their usual training grounds, glad to be up high again. “After all, she’s the only one who can reverse all of this.

Without her, we’re screwed.”

“I know Chat...I know. But what are you going to do without me? Without her? You need allies now more than ever Chat! Without them, who knows how long it will take to defeat this Victim!”

“I’ll find a way Bee, don’t you worry. For now, rest up. We’ll win this fight, you’ll see. We won’t let Hawkmoth win, not on our watch.”

With that, Chat hung up and mumbled a ‘claws in.’

“Did we-hey! Isn’t the reason why I give you my power to-”

“Plagg, you mentioned a Master Fu before.” Adrien cut off, handing some camembert towards Plagg. “You need to take me to him. I need to-”

“I know.” Plagg said, swallowing the cheese whole. “Something tells me you might need his help for this fight.”

“Thank you, Plagg.” Adrien said, eyeing a bag of utilities nearby. He rummaged through it before finding what he needed. 

Plagg eyed the grappling hook in Adrien’s hands, wondering if he should tell him or not.

Should he? Should he tell him that Ladybird wasn’t going to come? That she was the Victim this time ‘round?

“Alright then, follow me!” Plagg said with a smile.

No, he shouldn’t tell him. Who knows what might happen if the kid would be at risk of also getting akumatized and that he couldn’t risk.

Not his kitten...not on his watch.

---

Black.

That is what Amira first saw when she barely came to her senses.

Amira felt herself walking, watching as something else took over her body.

Is this what every Victim felt like when they got akumatized by Hawkmoth?

Amira tried to move her arms, or attempted to stop herself from walking, but to no avail.

She kept walking to who knows where, hearing herself hum as she did, humming as she was looking for someone…but who?

The humming continued, Amira wondering why it resonated so much with her. 

Amira listened to the hum, closing her eyes and soaking in the melodies as the hum continued, 

---

Wally stood still as he barely made out the figures of the neatly aligned parked cars on either side of the road. Not a single person was in the street, not a single piece of paper dared to flutter within the dense fog.

Only the dim lights of the streetlights and of a few store lights allowed Wally to know where he was.

“Marinette!” He screamed, holding his breath as he strained his ears for any type of noise. When he heard nothing, he walked a few meters before standing still again and calling out for Marinette.

He kept doing his for what seemed an hour until Wally found himself right by the Seine. 

The moment he stepped onto the Pont des Arts, he heard the faintest of hums, Wally feeling the edge of his lips begin to turn upward.

“Marinette!” He yelled out, but got nothing in return.

Sprinting to the other side of the bridge, Wally was glad to hear the humming grow louder, but hated that he had yet to see Amira.

“His chirps brightened my days

Talks that would last for hours

My jay, my jay.”

“Amira!” Wally yelled, his head swinging from side to side in hopes of seeing her, but nothing. 

The quiet Parisian street taunted him, the rolling fog egging him to follow the only clue he had of tracking Amira. 

“One day after you left

For you I did wait

Another gentle night like no other.”

Wally quickly began to follow the song, hating that no type of heat was registering through the goggles.  

“I awaited for your arrival

But a visit I did not get

As I approached the window

I saw you there...

There you were.”

Wally felt like he was running towards nowhere, seeing as he had been running in the same direction for a while. 

“On the ground

Your blue feathers now dyed red

Your flight towards me

Was a flight towards another place.”

Just where the hell was he?!

“Goodbye my Jay...goodbye.” 

As those last words were said, the fog started to lift up a bit, Wally turning to see Amira staring back at him through her black veil. 

Her eyes were a dull emerald, her hair long and straight just like it was when they were younger. She wore a black lace dress that seemed to sparkle under the dim Parisian streetlights. 

“Wally. You’re alright.” Amira said, walking up to him, stroking his cheek with the back of her hand. He felt his breath hitch. “Are you hurt anywhere?”

I’m more worried about you.

“I’m fine.” Wally tried to hold her hand when she pulled it away.

“That’s good.” Her hand returning to her side, averting her gaze from him and biting her lip. “What about Chloe? Is she doing alright? I didn’t mean to hurt her like that.”

Wally gulped. She had used her power on Chloe? 

Were those tear trails running down her face?

“She’s doing alright. She’s still under your power, but she isn’t as in much pain as she was before.” Wally lied, holding her wrists in his hands, ignoring the pain her got from placing pressure over her bracelet.  

So it’s her hands he has to be wary of…more specifically, her palms.

“What about the rest of my team? Do they know where I am?” Amira asked him, Wally biting the side of his cheek.

“I think one of them might know where you are. As for the rest, I do not know.”

“I see.” Amira said, looking back at Wally, turning away from him.

“Where are you going?” Wally asked her, watching as her veil flared out a bit. He watched as a grin emerged from her once stoic face.

“I’m going to go check on Lila. You should’ve seen the look on her face as she succumbed to my punishment.”

“Amira, what have you done?” Wally almost growled out, noticing the small rips on her dress, how it seemed to merge with the shadows.

“She got the punishment she deserved. Right about now, she should be screeching her heart out.”

“How...how could you do something like that Amira?” Wally yelled, tightening his grasp on her wrists. “Vengeance isn’t the way to-”

“This was the only way to make her pay for trying to use Jason’s name for her own personal gain! Every action has a consequence, whether it be a good one or a bad one.”

“Amira, can’t you see-”

“If you are here to stop me, then don’t. I already made up my mind.” Amira tried to jerk her hands from Wally’s grasp, but couldn’t. He wouldn’t let her escape, not when she was right in front of him.

“Amira, please! Think-”

“I have. And this,” she lifted her arm ever so slightly, the corners of her mouth curving upwards as her palms hovered over Wally’s wrists. “This is my answer.”

WARNING: BLOOD AND DEATH AHEAD

Placing her palms on Wally, Wally screamed in agony as he collapsed to the floor, his hands grasping on his shirt, his knuckles turning white as his head and chest began to ring in pain.

Wally watched as his vision flickered between seeing Amira walking away from him in her black dress and her yelling out his name as she was being pulled away from him.

Wally watches as she tries to crawl back at him, as she claws at the ground as she’s being pulled away by purple miasma. 

Her nails are scratched, her skin peeling off her fingers as she tries to hold onto loose cobblestones on the ground.

She screams for him, her tears merging with the blood that trailed from her head, mixing with the dirt on her face.

Cuts, both new and old were scattered, dried blood seeping from her mouth.

She manages to get up before she’s thrown back to the floor, a scream escaping from her.

“Amira!” Wally yells, trying to reach for her as he feels tears slip from his eyes. He watches as Amira stares at him one last time before her head limps forward, her hair draping over her face.

Wally feels himself stop breathing, raising his head as he sees Joker above her. 

Why? Why were they back at Gotham?

His eyes register the crowbar in his hand, covered in blood...Amira’s blood...

Blood that dripped from the same hands that killed his friend, the same feral clown that looked down at him with his feral smile and crooked yellow teeth.

Wally let out a scream as he watched Joker walk away, leaving Amira’s corpse on the floor.

Managing to find the strength to get up, Wally ran next to Amira’s limp body, only for it to turn into mist upon lifting it.

Wally watched as the illusion merged with the mist around him, the mist slipping through his fingers as he watched his surroundings return him to the present...to Paris..

“Illusions…” Wally said, finding himself laughing as he ran one hand through his hair while the other pulled at it, feeling himself still shaking...

This is exactly why he wasn’t very fond of magic...

END

---

Nino jumped when he felt a hand on him, feeling his racing heart relax upon seeing Master Fu.

After having left the classroom when the mystery guy had run out, Nino tried to look for Ladybird, hoping to once again help his friend. But he had been running for hours, not seeing a single person at all as he searched for the Miraculous Team or Banshee.

“Master Fu, what are you-”

“You know clearly why I am here.” Fu said, slipping off the Turtle from his hand, Nino stretching out his hand towards him. “Ladybird and Queen Bee are down for this match, leaving Chat on his own.”

Nino couldn’t believe that. Chat...was on his own? Ladybird and Queen Bee...were out of commission? How?

Placing the bracelet into Nino’s hand, Master Fu closed it and looked at Nino. “Now go.”

“But Master Fu! How are-”

“The two of you are not alone.” Master Fu clarified. “Gris is to join you alongside a new ally. With you four, you must do what it takes to defeat this akuma. If not,” Master Fu lowered his gaze. “Hawkmoth might just get his hands on several miraculous tonight.”

Nino gulped, feeling unspeakable pressure pushing down on him. 

Looking down at the bracelet, Nino furrowed his brows, slipping it on. Wayzz appeared before him, smiling at him.

“Don’t worry Master Fu. I will do what it takes to protect my team, the miraculous and the people of Paris! I will not let Hawkmoth win! Wayzz, shell on!”

---

Chat’s ears twitched when he heard a thud from behind him, turning to see Carapace walking towards him.

“About time you came.” Chat said, greeting Carapace. Gris waved at the turtle hero who returned the gesture.

“Master Fu mentioned having a new member. So, where are they?”

“A new user?” Gris asked, wondering why she didn’t get the memo.

“I would like to introduce you two to our newest member.” 

The three turned to where Chat gestured, watching as a person with golden horns emerged from the doorway that led to their training grounds on the Montparnasse Tower. 

“Hello everyone. My name is Ryuuko, wielder of the Dragon miraculous. I hope to be of some help.”

“Woah, she has a whole katana by her side! Is that allowed?” Carapace asked, stretching to see the black sheath that held the katana.

“Carapace. Focus.” Chat stern said. “It’s our job to deal with this akuma as soon as possible. As you know, Queen Bee is down and Ladybird might be due to her absence. 

For this to be a success, Ryuuko, you are in charge of finding a way to lift up this fog to help with the search. Gris, multiply and scatter yourself around the city for any hints of where the akuma might be.” 

“Got it.” “Roger that!” Ryuuko and Gris said, jumping off to complete their tasks.

“What about us?” Carapace asked.

“I want you to look for Lila Rossi. She’s who the akuma is after.”

“Right. But what about you?”

“I’ll keep searching around this area. Something tells me to stay put.” Chat said. 

He watched as Carapace nodded, leaving him by himself.

Chat looked out towards the city, wondering if he was up to the job, if he was able to shine a candle to Ladybird, now that she was nowhere to be found. Would he be able to save Chloe? Marinette?

Sighing, Chat looked up to the sky, shutting his eyes firmly.

“What should I do, what should I do...Mom?”

NEXT

[ratsoh-writes]

Alright, this is my first time actually sending anything anonymous (or any ask to someone who isn’t a mutual) on Tumblr but guess ya gotta start somewhere, heh

I’m serious and cold to anyone who I don’t know well and I have a habit of being sarcastic whether when I’m annoyed or trying to joke around with people I’m unfamiliar with though with people I know well, I’m supportive and a lot more open to laughing and joking around. I have a blank resting face, really the only time I smile is when I have something to smile about.

I’m actually really protective of my friends. I have a difficulty discerning what’s rude and not, I’m blunt but I’m also very careful not to say anything that could hurt someone’s feelings (of course I don’t have the best judgement with that).

I don’t always express my emotions properly, I’ll storm out when I’m nervous which can make it look like I’m angry when I’m more scared than anything.

I have really bad anxiety, especially when it comes to anger, it doesn’t have to be directed at me. I panic relatively easily, it doesn’t matter if I’ve lost something or it’s a rude comment, it can be someone who’s close or whom I’ve never met. Unfortunately I tend to be a bit of a pushover when it comes to defending myself, I’ve gotten better, I have certain times where I will stand up for myself but for the most part I just panic.

This also transitions when talking to people I don’t know well, sometimes I’m either ‘eh’ or really awkward if I have to actually talk to them.

Likes:

I like to draw, write, video games (more turn based and relaxing ones rather than shooting games) and collect animal figurines (they just make me smile, I remember when my mom first got me one and I was immediately grinning). I absolutely love animals, I have my own smol doggo and kitty cat :) I myself am a cat person

Dislikes or pet peeves:

People who are loud (like all the time, I can handle someone who laughs loudly) or nosy. I’m also not a fan of being touched, especially when it just kinda… happens. Not a fan of sports overall

Deal breakers:

Somebody who gets mad quickly or one who can’t calm down and talk about it rather than yell. Also somebody who can’t respect that I don’t like being touched without being asked or even then I might say no. I’d like someone who’s level headed or relaxed, though will take situations seriously. Or somebody who forces me to go out

Some specific traits I’d prefer is someone who is patient yet stubborn and won’t take my ‘I don’t care’ as an answer cause that’s my answer to many things because of my anxiety and my fear of upsetting people. I’d also like someone who can read body language as well. They also need to be able to wait for like a minute for me to answer a question properly since I uh decide things rather slowly.

Weaknesses:

-I don’t talk about my feelings, not even to people who I trust and am really close to

-I panic a lot

-I’m easily irritated, though I don’t often act on my anger unless it’s pent up, doesn’t mean I don’t show it y’know… via body language

-I’m more of a pessimist than anything else

-I’m a perfectionist, I have to do something right

-I’m prone to burnout

-I don’t have a lot of patience when it comes to people, specifically to people who nag, are idiots, or just rude

Strengths:

-I can and will stand up for my friends

-I care deeply for my friends and family

-I’m not a very judgy person, like let people do what they want man

-I’d like to think I’m somewhat good at giving advice

-I actually have a lot more patience when it comes to animals, they can poop in the house or tear something up and I’d be more frustrated than I am mad at them

Tidbits:

-I have 0 stamina or strength

-Legit someone can gently punch me and it’d hurt for a solid 30 seconds

-Tickling makes me want to cry(?)

-A long conversation can leave me exhausted, I need time to recharge and that time can either be a couple of hours or up to two weeks

-I pace a lot which is mostly to zone out and go into my own fantasy world, I’ll either pace in silence or while listening to music

-I can't focus on a single task if I'm working, gotta be doin something at the same time like listening to music

I have freckles, I’m a sandy blonde which is almost light brown, and blue eyes. I’m really short lol, I’m 4’10

Alright, after a lot of consideration, I think the best fit for you would be…………ACE (mafiaswap sans)!

First of all, ace is literally a mafia boss. He been dealing with temperamental and jumpy people his whole life. Your personality when he first meets you won’t phase him at all. And ace is just the right amount of patience and persistence to befriend anyone!

Ace is also very observant and witty. His whole job is to charm the pants off of people and make them relax. He’s great at picking up those signals for when you’re feeling uncomfortable. And it doesn’t take him long to figure out which buttons to push to help you loosen up. He’s not an enabler though. Ace does care about his loved ones and will insist on them stepping out of their comfort zones once in a while. He knows their limits though and is good about not pushing them. This is the main reason I picked him over second choice.

Ace is no stranger to video games. They aren’t necessarily his favorite thing, but he can be convinced to play with you. He does it plenty for his little brothers slim and bruiser.

He tends to show his affection more in acts of service and verbally rather than touch. And words mean a lot to him. He doesn’t except you to bear your soul to him all the time, but he would want to hear an “I love you” sometimes

Ace with a SO can be pretty playful. He likes leaving silly notes in his SOs pockets to find later, or sneaking mini treats or gifts into their room. It keeps them on their toes and gives him a chance to be stealthy.

If you’re curious, second choice would’ve been wine

[emilycollins00]

tsuzuru with a fem s/o who is shy but is a great actor please! uwu i love you and your works!

Love you more sweetheart! 💕 I’m sorry this took this long, thank you so very much for your beautiful patience!! This boy and you deserve the best of the best I swear, sending you a big hug.

Hope you enjoy! 💕

Tsuzuru x Shy! Actor! Reader

Tsuzuru keeps malfunctioning because you literally exist, this could very well end here.

Born in a chaotic household and now living in such a lousy dorm, while he wouldn’t change it… having someone as caring and giving as you makes him feel too blessed, is it really okay? are you even real??

This boy doesn’t like to outwardly complain, but will go to you when he needs to cool off or feels stressed and even if you two don’t say much, just laying next to you makes him sigh with content. 

He insists you don’t have to go to his performances, but if you do show up as a surprise, one shy wave from your seat will make his adrenaline go up. no citron, he’s okay it’s just sudenly hot.

You are both on the quiet side, so dates usually consist on calming walks through the park or some visits to bookshops.

I see Tsuzuru as the type of person who tries to respects boundaries, even more if you are shy, but at the same time is unconscious of his own PDA? Like before he knows he’s already leaning on you or grabbing your hand to lead you somewhere and then forgetting to let go.

Whenever he takes iniciative to kiss you though he becomes a flustered mess, so you both usually look like a pair of red headlights hiding your faces. 

Absolutely loves reading scripts together and exchanging advice. It helps you both and he honestly can’t get enough of your insights.

Pretty much like Muku, you tried acting to become more confident. The way you direct your voice, how you pour your soul in your performance…   Tsuzuru is definitely in awe of your acting skills and you usually have to stop his unaware compliments because you get too embarrassed. 

Won’t say it outloud because he thinks it might be weird, but finds your shy downcast eyes rather endearing.

Understanding of your shyness and also kind of overprotective. 

Tries to help you slowly step out of your comfort zone and be more vocal about what you want, though that part is something he’s also still learning himself.

All in all, Tsuzuru adores you and will work hard for you to be as happy and at ease as he is with you. He thinks of you as his escape from all the expectations people have of him, and hopes he can become a similar pilar to you, because you deserve it.  

-

“Tsuzuru!”

You didn’t wait for your theatre’s main door to close, hurrying towards the tall boy. Recognizing your voice, he looked up and smiled, raising his hand for you to not worry and slow down the pace.

“I’m sorry to keep you waiting”

“It’s fine. I guess rehearsal went better today?”

You nodded, still embarrassed how fast he could catch on every little detail. You both started walking away.

“I managed to talk to our director about adding a small scene before the finale and the transition went much better” you shivered a bit inside your jacket. It really was colder outside “Everyone agreed you must be a genius”

The scripwright laughed at the choice of words, shaking his head “I just gave my thoughts from what you told me. I’m sure your troupe would have thought of a similar solution sooner or later”

“Maybe, but your ideas are-”

A sudden phone call stopped the conversation, with Tsuzuru excusing himself “Omi-san?” after a few seconds in silence, he nodded “Sure, we are close to the shopping district anyway so…” he glanced at you for a second before concentrating again on the exchange “No, it’s okay, we’ll go now. Sure. See you”

“Everything okay?” you pondered, watching him place the phone back is his pocket “Isn’t Omi-san, um, a member of your theatre?”

“Yeah, he asked me if we could buy a few ingredients for tonight’s dinner before heading back to the dorm, is it okay?”

Your heart practically jumped at your boyfriend’s words. Right. That was the reason Tsuzuru had been waiting for you outside; Today was the day you were going to Mankai for the first time.

The nerves that caused your stomach to drop must have clearly shown on your face. You wanted to reply with a cool ‘yes, of course!’ but even when you felt his turquoise eyes glancing your way, nothing came out.

You pursed your lips ashamed as you both reached the shopping mall. While you also thought it was time to meet them, and probably could recognize everyone thank to your conversations with Tsuzuru... it still felt overwhelming.

Could you really introduce yourself in front of so many new people? Would they even like you? You, who had to repeat yourself because others didn’t often hear and even had to breath in and out before answering a phone call?

“Y/N”

Turning to him, you remembered how you had stumbled over your own words when you greeted him the first time. He showered you with an affectionate smile that made your chest leap.

“We can wait if you don’t feel comfortable yet. I’m sure no one will mind”

Feeling something warm, you looked down. His hand was already holding yours unconsciously to calm you. Your cheeks heated up at your childish behaviour and you shook your head to try to come out of your stupor “...I’m fine, sorry. I really want to meet everyone, it’s just- I wish it didn’t feel so nerve-wracking to prepare myself”

“You really don’t have to prepare yourself for anything” 

“Still, I... want to make a good impression” you smiled with downcast eyes. Why was it this difficult to voice your thoughts? You played with the strip of the bag with your free hand “They are your precious second family, right? I don’t want it to be uncomfortable so I was thinking, um... ” your fidgeted, feeling the nerves oozing off you “Maybe I should bring a gift, like curry or something?”

You stared at him waiting for his opinion, people passing by your sides. Soon enough though, the spring troupe member had to turn away. You frowned confused when you noticed his trembling shoulders, making you gasp indignant and quickly punching his arm embarrassed.

“I-I’m sorry if it doesn’t make sense, okay! You are always talking about curry so I couldn’t help it, don’t laugh!” much to your dismay, he didn’t stop, making you even more flustered “Tsuzuru!”

It took a while for him to completely calm down. That really was the last thing he had expected you to say, seeing how overwhelmed you looked. On the other hand, he should have expected it, you might be timid but caring about those things was in your nature. He shook his head. 

“I can’t promise you everyone’s exact reaction, but you really don’t need to bring anything. They are more excited to meet you than you imagine. I should know, after all hell I’ve been put through these days”

“Hell...?”

He shrugged it off “What I mean is there’s no way you’ll make a bad impression. Rather than that, you- ” a series of scenarios suddenly flashed through his mind, to which he frowned “...Yeah, I’m definitely more worried about what you’ll think of everyone once you meet them. Please keep your expectative very” he paused, holding his pointing finger up seriously “very low”

That finally made you chuckle “Wait, what? Why?”

Tsuzuru’s eyes softened at the sound. If you two hadn’t been outside, he would have kissed you right there, so he opted to take again your hand and squeez it.

No matter what you said, it was you who had left a mark the first time he saw you act, and it was you who caught his dense attention with your subtle kindness, tender eyes and strong will. You, who so adorably told him to breath and relax, setting aside his usual daily pressure, reminding him there was still time and space to grow.

“Everyone will definitely like you, Y/N”

Because you were so much more than you gave yourself credit for. And while it might sound cringey, you really were his peace, his pride, and he couldn’t wait for everyone to finally learn about you.

_________________________________________________________

No shame in saying this was great content for me included, thanks again love!

Hope you all have a wonderful day! 💕

[galacticidiots]

Rian Johnson is a gift to us all (a compilation)

or: some quotes to cleanse the palate after all the bs we’ve been getting

“To me, these movies are always, to some extent, about the transition from childhood into adulthood. When I hear [George] Lucas quoted as saying, “These movies are for kids,” it doesn’t mean they’re for little kids who laugh and point at creatures farting. It means that they’re about kids who are on the cusp of adolescence and about to transition through those stormy waters into being an adult and finding their place in this world. The hero’s journey, the myth that Joseph Campbell writes about, that Lucas famously pulled from, it’s not about becoming a hero. It’s not about becoming Hercules. The hero’s journey is really about adolescence. It’s about becoming an adult.” (starwars.com)

(On taking over the story) “My goal was really just to make something that felt like a straight line going forward from VII that made sense to me. Rather than come up with some crazy take on what it would be and then figure out how I get there, I was really just trying to continue the line forward in a way that made sense.“ (starwars.com)

“I think Rey and Kylo are almost like a dual protagonist. You identify with Rey, but also you identify with Kylo in a way that you never did with Vader. I know I do. Because if these movies are about adolescence, Kylo is that anger of adolescence and that rejection of the parents, and wanting to screw over your dad; and that’s something that all of us, to some degree, can identify with. And the idea of there being a bad guy who you identify with as much as you do the protagonist in some way, that’s really interesting.” (comicbook)

“That’s why Rey is so angry with him just saying, ‘Screw you’ basically in the first few Force connections, because my assumption is that’s how we’re gonna feel about him coming into this movie. How to transition him slowly from there to here in a way that was plausible through Rey’s eyes. The notion that Rey sees this opportunity in him. Maybe she sees something more than that in him to earn this connection, I guess. That was something we spent a lot of time – Adam, and Daisy, and I kinda talking through how we were gonna get there.” (TLJ commentary)

“So these Force connections… when I was writing the script, I knew that I needed Kylo and Rey – wanted to form, to delve more into that relationship. [...] I just wanted to make them talk. So I thought of the idea of this, ‘Okay, what if a new kind of connection happens between them?’ And we had to figure out how it would look like… I kept thinking, I want it to just be intimate. I don’t want any kind of swirling, magical kind of thing. I don’t want it to be about the effect of how they’re looking at each other. I wanted it to be painfully intimate, just like you’re sitting across from someone and talking.” (TLJ commentary)

“For me, there is some kind of primal connection between Rey and Kylo. The fact that even though they’re on opposite poles, and he’s kind of a hateful character and she’s an incredibly good character, the fact that they’re both the only ones who have this power in the movie. And they’re kind of on these two opposite islands, there’s some connection between them. Beyond that though, I needed her to have an actual, buyable justification for why she would go and think that she can turn him, and lay out for Luke that, ‘If I do that, this could actually win the day.’ So that felt very, very important to me.” (TLJ commentary)

“[What do you think is special about Rey and Kylo’s relationship?] Well, to me, it was one of the most fascinating relationships in The Force Awakens. That’s why I was just immediately drawn to figure out how to get these two talking to each other. I want to connect these two. I think it’s so fascinating because in a way, they’re simultaneously opposites, in terms of he’s Dark Side, she’s Light Side. He’s got the worst intention, she has the best. At the same time, they’re the same. At the same time, they’re alone in the same way that they both have this power, that is incredibly powerful inside them, that gives them all this potential. And they’re both kinda figuring out what they’re gonna do with it.” (SXSW Q&A)

“I disagreed with John Williams twice regarding the score. For example, there's a scene where Kylo Ren and Rey touch hands, before they are interrupted by Luke Skywalker. When John wrote the score, he was very protective of Rey's character, exactly as is Luke. Kylo’s presence was menacing, musically speaking. It's a valid point of view, but I didn't think of the scene like that. I wanted it to stay on Rey's POV: I wanted that we could believe in this romance.” (SFRPresse)

“To me that’s one of my favourite shots in the movie. Just those two fingers touching. It’s the closest thing we’ll get to a sex scene in a Star Wars movie.” (SXSW Q&A)

(On the Throne Room Proposal) “From his point of view, it’s a very naked, open, emotional appeal. It’s his version of ‘I’m just a girl standing in front of a guy asking [him to love her].’ It’s Kylo’s sick, evil version of that but from his perspective, the same way that when he tells his version of the story with Luke, I don’t think he’s lying. That’s his experience of that moment, and I think he’s telling it honestly.” (Empire)

“I think that this is something that he genuinely saw, and genuinely believes that because of this connection [they share], basically. It’s less like, ‘I can use this on her.’ It’s more, ‘Oh my god, we have this in common, this is more of a kindred spirit that even she realizes.’ I don’t think he’s playing chess here.” (Buzzfeed)

“Kylo appears to believe that Rey was discarded by her parents, much like he feels his parents, Han and Leia, discarded him.” (Buzzfeednews)

(On Rey Nobody) “I like the idea that we’re breaking out from the notion that the force is this genetic thing that you have to be tied to somebody to have.” (Empire)

"It's a lot more interesting to me, the idea that anyone can pick up the flag and start running forward with it at the head of the army, as opposed to, no, you have to be of this lineage, you have to be the Chosen One. I don't want to step on any mythology. I don't mean that you can decide to be the Chosen One from the Force, because obviously you can't. I just mean in life, anyone can pick up the flag and be a hero.” (Buzzfeed)

“The original trilogy and the prequel trilogy being the story of the Skywalkers made sense. I think now if we want to keep telling stories in this world, and I do, it has to move beyond that." (Buzzfeed)

“When people ask me, ‘Don’t you think people are going to get sick of Star Wars movies?’ to me that question indicates that they’re thinking of Star Wars movies as a museum exhibit that is wheeled out once a year so you can say, ‘Oh, I loved that thing. Oh, I remember that thing!’ And yes, if Star Wars is that, people are going to get sick of it really quickly.

“But if Star Wars are great new movies that are exciting and fresh, and that challenge you and surprise you and make you feel things and engage you the way that those original movies did—but always taking you to new places, both in the galaxy and emotionally—that’s never going to get old. That’s what it’s all about.” (SXSW)

[afewmarvelousthoughts]

Falling Ch. 4

Master List: @afewmarvelousthoughtsadmin

Pairing: Bucky X Reader [and a few more to come]

Summary: For a moment you had something good, something wonderful. But moments pass. Now, left with nothing but the ashes of a life and a love you fought so hard for, you find yourself in a free fall. Who will you be once you hit the bottom? [Sequel to Only For A Moment but can be read independently.]

Warnings: Loss, grief, violence, death, blood, just all the things

A/N: Well... Ya know I’m at a loss for what to say about this one. It’s a lot and goddamn if I don’t love me some angry Steve Rogers. 

Also, thank y’all so much for the really great feedback on the last chapter! I absolutely love hearing from readers.

OH! If you read my Stay series there is a sad little easter egg in here. Let me know if you catch it. 

TAGS ARE OPEN

“I still can’t believe it,” Bucky pushed a stray piece of hair from his face. “She even agreed to take my name.” 

Steve couldn’t help but smile. 

“Sam can’t believe that one either.” 

Bucky chuckled, “Glad he and I can agree on something.” 

“I’m so happy for you, brother.” He settled a hand on Bucky’s good shoulder, feeling like his chest was going to burst. 

Never in a million years could he have imagined James Barnes actually settling down. He certainly never thought they’d ever be watching a peaceful sunset over the water discussing how happy Bucky was to be settling down. But their lives had been nothing if not a long line of surprises; at least this one was pleasant. 

Bucky let out a heavy sigh, a cloud of worry suddenly darkening his features. 

“Stevie…” The old nickname shot a pang of worry through Steve’s gut. Bucky didn’t take his eyes off the water as he continued. “If something were to happen-” 

“Buck, nothing is-”

Bucky let out a low bitter laugh, “Careful there, pal. Getting dangerously close to a lie.” 

“I’m not exactly the most popular guy in the world,” he tilted his head to meet Steve’s worried expression. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m about to disappear.” Bucky shoved Steve’s shoulder with his own, “I’m not you. I have no intention to go lookin’ for trouble.” 

Steve scoffed, rolling his eyes, “Jerk.”

“But,” Bucky continued, ignoring Steve’s soft jab, “trouble seems to like me so… Just…” He took a ragged breath, eyes once more on the horizon. 

“Just what, Buck?” When Bucky looked back Steve almost lost his breath. The emotion on his friend’s face like a knife in his heart. Fear, worry, shame, and something else all swirl around him. 

“Just promise me you’ll look out for her.”

That afternoon with Bucky by the lake plays over and over in Steve’s head throughout the flight back to the states. 

Look out for her, was all Bucky had asked. 

Take care of her, Okoye ordered. 

He wanted to do both. 

So why did he keep failing?

Why had he placed his own burdens on you the same night you’d lost your own battle with grief? Why could he keep up appearances for everyone else but not you? Why was he sitting here across the jet while Thor did what he should have been doing? 

He would do better. He had to. 

When the jet lands at the compound his resolve wavers just a bit. They were all supposed to come home together. He’d promised Wanda that… 

“I’m good, Thor,” your voice pulls him back. 

Thor stands, making his way out of the jet, Rocket at his heels. You don’t move though, bolted to your seat, eyes on your clasped hands as if in prayer. 

Natasha steps away from the captain’s chair, glancing at you then him, an unspoken question on her face. Steve nods in response and she too leaves. 

Steeling himself for rejection, he stands, slowly walking over to you and extending his hand. 

You look up at him with painfully red eyes, the circles beneath them making the effect all the more harrowing. He thought of what Okoye said M’Baku had called you. Demon. 

Surprisingly, you accept his hand. 

“Here,” he reaches for the backpack slung over one of your shoulders, “let me.”

“No,” you release his hand, immediately gripping the strap of the bag with white-knuckled force. He tries not to look put off by the action and suspects that he failed, if your follow up was any indication. “You can get my duffle though.” 

A half-smile tugs at his mouth, “Alright.” 

Shouldering his bag and yours he heads out into the later afternoon sun. It had been almost full night when they left Wakanda and such transitions always shook him. He credited that with the reason he didn’t immediately notice that you remained frozen at the foot of the ramp. 

“Y/N?” He asked gently, heading back toward you. With a chill he remembered how you’d stood in the woods that night, unmoving. 

“Are you sure I should be here?” You ask, voice barely above a whisper. 

His brows knit in confusion, “Of course. Why wouldn’t-”

“Isn’t this technically Stark’s place? I doubt he’d want… Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” They’d cleared it with Pepper, and in his opinion, that was all that mattered. “If anyone has an issue with it they can take it up with me.” 

You nod in acceptance and follow him inside. 

-

The room Steve showed you to had the cold but comfortable feel of an upscale hotel. Not a speck of dust or item out of place. 

“If you need anything just find me or ask Friday,” Steve said running a hand through his hair. “Kitchen should have a few things according to Rhodey. And-”

“I’m good, Steve.” You didn’t want him to feel obligated to linger. 

“Ok, but if-”

“I said I’m good,” your tone was filled with far more bite than you intended. You cringe at the hurt that quickly flashes in his eyes. 

“Alright,” he nods. “Get some rest.”

“You too.” 

As soon as the door closes behind Steve you can hear Bucky’s voice in your head. 

Look out for him. He’d asked that of you not long after you made your marriage official. 

God, you’d hated that entire conversation. Hated that even in the safety of Wakanda he was afraid of something happening to him, something he couldn’t control. Now you hated even more that he’d been right.

He’d trusted that you would take care of the only family he had left. 

And you were failing him. 

Your right hand begins to tremble, thrumming with power, fingers flexing, reaching for the ghost of his heartbeat. 

Anger flares in your chest. Curling your hand into a tight fist you slam it into the door, again and again, until the metal finally groans. 

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, your forehead pressed against the door, breath catching. “I’m so sorry, Bucky.” 

Suddenly you sway on your feet, a wave of pure exhaustion rolling over you. Cradling your bloody fist to your chest you shuffle to the bed, unable and unwilling to face another moment of consciousness. 

When you wake, it’s full dark. Your hand throbs with pain but it’s better than the memory of loss it carried before. You locate a fully stocked medkit in the bathroom - perks of crashing at a superhero base you guess - and bandage your hand. After that, you’re unsure what to do with yourself.

Aimlessly you pace the room, growing somehow more numb and frantic with each circuit. From time to time your packed bag catches your attention; you know you should probably unpack but… The thought of getting the bag, opening it, going through the contents, finding where to put each one. It felt like an insurmountable task. 

Finally, the grumbling in your stomach breaks through, forcing you from the room.

There wasn’t a ton in the kitchen, which made sense considering no one had been living here full time, but mercifully there was bread, peanut butter, and jelly in the fridge which was enough. 

You pour all your focus into the familiar task of making PB&J. Taking far too much care to get the peanut butter right to the edge of each piece, making a little well for the jelly, not pressing too hard when you cut. So, when someone presses on your awareness you jump in alarm, body hovering about a foot in the air. 

“Shit! Sorry,” Natasha holds her hands up trying to be unthreatening. It’s then that you realize the cabinet doors are shuddering. You swallow a breath, feet back on the ground, the cabinets silent once more. 

“You’re good. I was just… distracted.”

“I see that,” she looks from the two sandwiches to you. “Never seen someone pay that much attention to a peanut butter sandwich.” 

You shrug, “Want one?” 

“No. That’s yours. I can-” You float one of the sandwiches over to her. She smiles. “Fine.” 

She grabs the sandwich and leans against the counter across from you.  

For about half a sandwich you eat in silence. It’s not uncomfortable but the unspoken crackles. 

“I lost someone once…” Your eyes shoot to hers. A sheen of unshed tears makes her eyes glitter in the dim kitchen. “She was like you.”

“How?” 

“Gifted.” You snort at the word. 

“She didn’t view it as a gift either. Charlie,” she pauses, taking a shaky breath, “could read emotions, catch glimpses of memory, even read thoughts if she set her mind to it. Empathetic with telepathic tendencies was what her S.H.I.E.L.D. file called it.” A soft smile fills Natasha’s face, “She just called herself a freak.” She sets her plate down, half a sandwich still on it. 

“We… It wasn’t what you could call traditional. We never settled down, couldn’t. But, we made it work in our own way. She… I loved her. I’ve never… Anyway, she-” Natasha’s voice breaks. 

You don’t breathe, don’t move. All your effort is focused on listening and keeping control of yourself even as you feel your power threatening to break free. 

Finally, you ask, “How long?”

“She’s been gone almost ten years.” That hits you right in the chest. “I wish I could tell you it gets easier, but…” She trails off. 

A vision of your future flashes in your mind. Years spread out before you. Empty and aimless without the warmth of his smile or the ring of his laughter.  

There’s a scream bubbling up in your chest. Without warning Natasha reaches across the small space separating you, grabbing your hand with ferocious strength. 

“I just wanted you to know you’re not alone.” 

Her touch shakes you. The warmth of her palm, her fingers shifting between your own. 

Neither of you let go. 

It just happens. One moment you’re about to drown in the understanding that there was no coming back from this, no healing, no return, and the next-

Your lips crash into hers. 

They’re warm and soft. Something real and solid and alive. Her mouth opens against yours, your other hand reaching to cup the back of her head. You want to forget, ashes and heartache and loss - burry those feeling in the heat of her. 

“Stop,” she breathes heavily against your kiss. 

That one word sends reality crashing back into you. With a sharp breath, you release her, stumbling back into the opposite counter, hand covering your mouth to keep in your shock. 

Around you, things begin to hum, a low deep frequency rather than a shaking, as you feel your perception dive beneath the surface. The plate next to you lets out a creaking sound as it begins to crumble. 

Too much. 

“It’s ok, Y/N,” Natasha grips your shoulders. 

“I’m so sorry,” you croak from beneath your hand. 

“It’s ok,” she smiles, rubbing your upper arms comfortingly. Slowly you regain some kind of control. 

“No,” you shake your head. “That was-  Fuck!” You pull away from her, pacing several steps away, gripping your head trying not to lose it. 

“I should never have… God, Nat, I’m so-”

“Stop,” she says in a tone that broaches no argument. You turn to look at her, arms crossed leaned against the counter like nothing happened. 

“Didn’t I just say you weren’t alone? I get it. I do. I’m not hurt or offended. We’re good.” She walks over to you, forcing you to release your grip, lowering your arms. 

“We’re good. Ok?” 

You nod in response, not trusting yourself to speak. 

“Let’s finish these sandwiches.” 

-

Steve spent the last week and a half on a razor edge. 

He managed to retain his composure the few times he found himself among the others. Thankfully, save for a handful of meals and some attempts to scan for Thanos however they could, everyone kept to themselves. 

Despite the commitment he made on the jet, he couldn’t bring himself to spend more than a few minutes in your presence. The one time he did, he spent most of the night blowing through punching bags. 

He’d been so fucking concerned for you. So worried your grief would be too much. You’d be lost, and he’d have failed Bucky in a way he could never forgive himself for. Clearly, after what he’d seen in the kitchen, his concern had been for nothing. You were moving on nicely. 

With one more ferocious right hook, the punching bag lost the fight. 

Huffing with exhaustion and exertion he collapses onto the padded floor of the training gym, resting his forearms on his knees. 

“We don’t have an endless supply of those ya know?” His head shoots up to see Rhodes leaning in the doorway. 

Steve pushes his sweat-damp hair from his eyes, “Seem to be the only one using ‘em so we shouldn’t run out too soon.” Rhodes nods in acquiescence, hovering in the door.

“What’s up, Rhodes?”

Rhodes sighs, “Pepper wants to go back into the city. Start figuring out what to do now.” The more time that passed the more likely it was that Tony, like the others, wasn’t coming back. 

Steve nods, “When?”

“Tomorrow.” 

It would mean two fewer people to serve as a buffer between you and him - he wasn’t even particularly thrilled to be around Natasha right now - but it was also two less to keep up appearances for. 

“You’ll let us know if we can help?”

“Of course. And if-” Rhodes is cut off as the building shudders. 

“Friday?” Rhodes asks.

“Captain Danvers has returned and appears to have a craft of some kind with her.”

He still didn’t know what to make of the mysterious woman who’d clearly been close with Fury but they weren’t in a position to be picky - they needed all the help they could get. 

Steve and Rhodes rush out, the others right behind them. 

No one speaks as Carol lands the ship and steps away. 

The ramp lowers and, Tony, supported by a tall blue woman, staggers out. 

Without a thought for the past, Steve rushes to help.

“I couldn’t stop him,” Tony says, voice rough. 

“Neither could I,” the words feel bitter on Steve’s tongue. 

“I lost the kid,” the sorrow in Tony’s eyes is like salt in every wound Steve carries. The kid. The one from Queens… 

“Tony,” the words stick, “we lost-” He doesn’t know what to say. There are too many names. Thankfully Pepper runs up, gathering Tony in her arms. 

Steve turns away from the moment just in time to see the bitter, pained, look on your face. Despite his anger, he feels his heart ache for you. 

True to form, Tony wanted to immediately know what happened in his absence. Seeing the images of all those they knew and loved - everyone he failed to save - lined up as Natasha gave the rundown made him feel like he was being crushed. 

“As far as we can tell, he did exactly what he said he would. Wiped out half of all living creatures…” Natasha says, her voice surprisingly only shaking a bit. 

Steve glances toward Carol, her eyes shining with unshed tears. 

“And what’s with him?” Tony asks, gesturing toward Thor’s slumped form in the atrium. 

“He thinks he failed,” Rocket says in a matter-of-fact tone. “Which he did. But seems like there’s a lot of that goin’ around.” 

Tony gapes at the raccoon, “You know, until this second I thought you were a Build-A-Bear.”

“Maybe I am,” Rocket says, sounding tired. 

“We’ve been scanning, trying to find him,” Steve says. He can feel Tony veering off course. It was a defense mechanism, his wit. While Steve couldn’t blame him now wasn’t the time. “You fought him Tony-”

“Who told you that?” All eyes shoot to Tony in confusion. “He wiped my face with a planet while the Bleecker Street Magician gave away the store. There was no fight-”

“Ok,” Steve tries to say gently. “But did he give any clues, coordinates, any-” Tony cuts him off with a raspberry noise. 

“Tony,” Steve is too damn tired to hide his exasperation, “we need you to focus.”

“And I needed you!” Tony swipes at the bowl of oatmeal and the glass of water sending them tumbling as he stands on shaky legs. “Past tense. We lost because you chose to leave. We lost because of-” He takes one teetering step toward Steve before his body stops, rigid. Steve looks at you, your focus squarely on Tony. 

“Enough,” you say in a low voice. Tony turns his head, noticing you for the first time. 

“Who the fuck are you?” Tony looks around for an answer. “Has she been here-” Steve can see when you release Tony, the action sending his frail body swaying. 

“This isn’t on Steve,” you say, dismissing Tony’s question. “You don’t get to come for him like-”

Tony laughs, “Oh! Oh, I remember you now. Barnes’ little-”

“Tony,” Steve says in a warning tone. Tony, ignores him. 

“Fangirl. The murderous Sinead O’Connor look suits you by the way.” Tony eyes you, waiting for a response that doesn’t come. 

“Why are you here?” It’s impossible to miss the venom in Tony’s voice. “From what I saw, your deranged-” The table begins to shake followed by a low creaking groan. 

“Ooo, spooky. This isn’t Wakanda sweetheart. We don’t harbor murderers.” You visibly flinch. Steve’s blood boils.

“Tony! What the hell?” He closes the distance in a beat, beginning to pull Tony away, but serum or not he could never be faster than Tony’s sharp tongue. 

“Isn’t that what you are? Reaper.” Tony nearly snarls the moniker Hydra granted you. The floor begins to shake. You look away like you’d been slapped. “Yeah that’s right I read-”

When you turn back you don’t say a word, just spit in Tony’s face before storming out, the tremors going with you.

“Classy new friends, Rogers,” Tony says, wiping his face with his sleeve as Steve grabs his shoulders. 

“I think you’re the one who needs a lesson in class,” Natasha says. 

“Do I? You know what,” Tony rips the arc reactor from his chest, “here.” He presses it against Steve's hand. “Why don’t the two of you take this and your new best friend and go find Thanos. See if you can do better with-” Tony doesn’t finish before collapsing. 

-

You didn’t know where to go. 

Part of you wanted to run. Leave them and all of this behind and never look back. All promises made to the dead be damned. 

But you just couldn’t quite bring yourself to do it.

Instead, you find yourself on the roof, staring out into the trees. Futility you try to calm your power pulsing in your body like a caged beast, restless and screaming for release. 

Unsure of what else to do, you let it sink into the concrete under your hands, pulling at the tiny particles until a chunk of the low wall surrounding the roof comes free. It hovers before you as you focus all your power into it, feel each tiny atom humming even in this inanimate chunk of rocks and cement. 

This time, you force your eyes open, even though your brain stutters with the effort of maintaining this level of perception - visual and whatever you could call this. The concrete begins to crumble, you feel your power plucking away at the pieces, pulling them apart bit by imperceptible. 

Deep in the recesses of your mind, you feel the hunger. It’s as though whatever the stones left behind was seeking sustenance in this strange destruction. 

Your right hand begins to tremble, the memory of losing your hold on Bucky rising fast to the surface. As your palm flattens - muscles remembering their position at that moment, desperate to return to it - you force your hand into a fist. Immediately, the floating chunk of the wall crumbles to dust. 

Dumbfounded, you stare at the heap sitting on the edge of the wall as bits are caught by the wind. Fear rises in the back of your throat, tasting metallic on your tongue. 

Thankfully, Natasha arrives before the panic fully grips you, providing a welcome distraction. 

Wordlessly she stands beside you, eyes on the peaceful scene. All you can think is that she’s standing so close to danger and doesn’t seem to notice.

“Tony passed out.”

“I didn’t-”

“No! No. No one thinks you did. I just meant… If you wanted to come back in.” You grip the wall, knuckles white, unsure of what you want. 

She sighs, “He’s really not-”

“Don’t try to defend Tony Stark to me. Not after-” You don’t have it in you to even think about Bucky.  

“Right…” The silence rises like a wall between you. 

Rather than speak, Natasha lays a light hand on your shoulder. You sigh and nod.

Rhodes steps out of the small medical room off the lab when you and Natasha make it back inside. 

“He’s probably gonna be out for the rest of the night,” he says on a sigh.

“Good,” you throw a raised eyebrow at Carol. “You guys take care of him and I’ll bring him a Xorrian Elixir when I get back.” She turns on her heel as you exchange a questioning glance with the others. 

“Where’re you going?” Steve asks, striding after. 

“To kill Thanos,” she replies without missing a beat. 

“Hey!” Natasha calls after her. “We normally work as a team around here we could-”

“We know up there is more your territory but this is our fight too,” Steve says. The slight exasperation in Carol’s expression makes you smile just a little. You hadn’t spent much time with her but you found yourself liking her nonetheless. 

“Do you even know where he is?” Rhodes asks. 

“I know some people who might,” Carol says. 

“Don’t bother,” Nebula, says. You’re pretty sure it was the first you’d heard the woman speak. “I can tell you where Thanos is.”

Nebula’s story about her father sends chills down your spine. You’d always thought parents couldn’t get much worse than your own but you were clearly way off the mark. But when Rocket pulls up the scan from their ship any remnants of cold flee your veins. 

“Hey, hey, hey. We’d be going in short-handed ya know?” Bruce cautions. 

“Look he’s still got the stones so-” Rhodes backs him. 

Carol meets your eyes, “So let’s go get him.” You nod. “Use the stones to bring everyone back.”

“Just like that?” Banner questions in disbelief. 

“Yeah,” you and Steve say in tandem. You meet his eyes. 

“Just like that,” Steve finishes. 

You’d no sooner made peace with the concept of literally going to space than you were boarding the ship thanks to Carol’s quick fuel trip and Rocket’s adept repairs. 

It seemed unreal that you were looking out at Earth. From here, just outside the atmosphere, it looked peaceful and unassuming. When the ship turned, facing space rather than the broken planet you’d just left, you felt like you could stare into that beautiful endless sea forever. 

“Okay,” Rocket begins, ending your awe. “Who here hasn’t been to space?” You, Natasha, Steve, and Rhodes, look awkwardly at one another before raising your hands. Carol catches your eye, a smirk on her face. You werene’t sure if you should laugh or be terrified. 

“Why?” Rhodes asked, his tone suspicious. Carol laughs. 

“You better not throw up on my ship,” Rocket said dismissively. 

Nebula’s countdown was hardly visible over the sound of your heart. But the moment the jump began you calmed. 

Your mind felt silent, your power, unable to keep up with the movement surrounding you, just gave up. It felt incredible, like a tense muscle relaxing. And the colors. 

Space opened up around you, an indescribeably beautiful swirl of color and light. 

It was over too soon. But on the plus side, no one threw up. 

As Carol goes down for recon you all move about the ship, nervous energy thrumming through the air. 

The planet beneath you didn’t look so different from your own. You wonder about the people there, wonder if they realized what kind of monster was hiding among them.

“There’s no one but him,” Carol’s voice relays on the comms. A whole planet. And not one other being… Anger curls in your chest. 

After Carol gives a full rundow of his location Steve relays your plan of attack. 

You’d approach in teams. You and Carol would go in first since your abilities would give you an advantage. Thor, Rhodes, and Banner would follow - the two suited men assisting in restraining Thanos whole Thor removed the gauntlet. The others would follow.

“We can’t hesitate. If he has even the slightest window he’s going to use it,” Steve says. 

“Let’s do this,” Thor responds, weilding his axe. 

On the planet’s surface you feel suddenly off kilter. That insidious hunger rising in the back of your mind, reaching for the stones and their power. It ached at the base of your skull. 

“Ready?” Carol asks. It pulls your focus away from the strange feeling and replacing it with fear as you remember the last time you faced Thanos. None of you were enough. How could this be- 

The fingers on your right hand tingle, the ghost of a heartbeat beneath your palm. 

Fuck fear. 

“Absolutely,” you say without an ounce of doubt pushing against the ground with your power, sending your body into the air.  

Carol blasts a hole through the roof of Thanos’ hut and shoots inside. You follow her down. 

The moment she has him in a headlock you push your power into him, keeping his body immobile focusing on his left arm. Rhodes and Banner join moments later, adding their strength to restrain this creature. 

Curiously, you realize that you don’t feel the pull of the stones. 

Thor arrives as planned, severing the gauntlet from Thanos’ body, hand and all. 

You release your hold on him, your power lifting the gauntlet, devoid of stones into the air. 

“No,” you breathe, an indescribable dread beginning to fill your chest. 

“Where are they?” Steve demands. Thanos only groans.

“Answer him!” Carol barks tightening her grip on his throat. 

“The universe required correction,” Thanos wheezes. “After that, the stones served no purpose…” His gaze falls to you, “Beyond temptation.” You shiver, stepping back, letting the empty gauntlet fall to the floor. 

Bruce rushes Thanos but you can hardly hear them. The room seems smaller, hotter. Your ears begin to ring, your power throbbing through your body.  

“Where are the stones?” Natasha asks in a trembling voice.

“They’re gone,” he huffs, “reduced to atoms.” 

The shock of his statement tears through all of you, a near tangible wave. 

It only holds you for a breath. 

Atoms. 

Silently you allow your power to sink into the ground beneath you. Just like on earth you can go deeper, deeper until you can feel the fabric of everything. 

You could fix this. You would fix this. 

-

Steve glances at your retreating form. He can’t blame you for leaving, no matter how much he wants to.  

The small hut is immensely oppressive suddenly. Just breathing gets harder with each second. He hadn’t had a panic attack since 1943, he didn’t think he was still capable. But right now he felt that familiar rapid pace of his heart, the tightness in his chest… It blurs the voices around him, everything growing staticky until- 

With a roar Thor severs Thanos’ head from his body in one clean swing. 

He begins to feel the panic recede to make room for the shock. Still he doesn’t move.  

“What now?” Natasha croaks. 

Steve can’t even attempt a response. Rocket begins to rummage somewhere behind him.  

“I know what I’m doing,” Steve turns to see him dragging a small crate. “Taking everything that’s worth anything.” He pries open the crate pulling out something that looks like a wine bottle. The metal top comes off with a tug and he drinks deep. “Including all his booze.”

“Toss me-” Thor is cut off by an ear-splitting crack of thunder.

“Y/N,” Steve says in barely a whisper, cold seeping into his bones. 

Carol beats him outside but he’s on her heels. The ground trembles before they spot you. 

“What the...” Carol breathes. Guilt and fear begin to stir in his gut. 

On the top of the mountain behind Thanos’ hut, you’re barely visible through a growing funnel of dust and cloud, but he knows it’s you. 

“Want a lift?” Carol asks, extending her hand. He nods. In seconds they’re on the mountain top just outside the wall of dust. Another loud boom shatters the otherwise quiet air.  

Visions of that night in Wakanda whir through his mind as he stares. He remembers your pain, your screams, he remembers the blood… and the blood that streamed from your eyes and nose when he and Okoye found you at your house… and- 

“Look out for her.” Bucky’s voice in his head once more. 

The risk didn’t matter. He had to get to you. If you tore him apart in the process so be it but he would not let another person he cared about die. 

He’d taken no more than a step in your direction when Carol’s hand tightened on his upper arm. He tries to pull free but she holds him fast. 

“Look,” Carol says with a note of almost reverence in her voice. 

“I see her! And I wo-” The words die on his tongue. 

In the air between your hands, he can just barely make out six points of light beginning to pulse like stars through the haze. Blue. Green. Yellow. 

“Dear god…” He doesn’t know what else to say. 

The others had arrived at some point, though Steve couldn’t say when. 

“Can… Is she that powerful?” Carol asks, seemingly unable to look away. 

“I don’t know,” Steve answers honestly. 

Natasha steps up beside him, “Steve should we-” Your scream cuts her off. 

This scream isn’t like the one in Wakanda. It’s not the unyielding cry of mourning. Rather this scream is one of barely restrained agony, a soldier shot on the battlefield who refuses to fall, quick but heavy. His breath leaves him in a woosh as he watches your knees hit the ground. 

Your bloody face contorts with pain. Yet your hands remain outstretched, the points of light between them beginning to form ghostly shapes. 

“They’ll destroy her,” Thor says.

Once more Steve pulls at Carol’s grip on him. 

He panics, “We can’t just let her-”

“No,” you say in a voice that is not quite your own. The awful, powerful, resonance of it shakes him to his marrow. “I can do this.”

“It’s her choice,” Rocket says. Steve looks to each person, eyes begging, but they all nod in agreement. 

Filaments of light rise from where the stones are forming like smoke. He notices as some caress your skin, leaving glowing paths in their wake. More and more touch your flesh, searing your outstretched fingertips in zigzagging lines. 

Your back arches, your hands tremble, you cry out once more as the stones flash vibrant and whole for one moment - so fast he could have imagined it - before they vanish. 

The small tremors that had been pulsing through the ground cease, the dust falls, the clouds dissipate. Suddenly the world seems darker and far too still. 

Then there was you, in the middle of a patch of barren ground, sitting back on your heels, body swaying. He’d swear your expression was serene. Something in him knows - even before you release a wet rasping cough, blood flowing from between your lips - that you’re lost. 

Everyone remains frozen, unsure of what to do. Until you collapse, breaking the spell. 

They all rush forward, pushing past him. 

He should help. 

Yet all he can do is watch, paralyzed by the realization that he isn’t sad or heartbroken over your loss. The only thing he feels toward you, as he watches Carol lift your prone form to search for a pulse she won't find, is jealousy.  

-

One moment there was only darkness. A foreign yet curiously familiar weightlessness. Peace.  

The next you felt like you’d swallowed a forest fire. 

Heat bloomed in your chest and abdomen. You could feel the flames crawling up the tiny veins of your eyes and nose, tingling in your skull. 

Gasping, you claw at your throat. Trying to understand what the fuck was happening. 

“You’re ok,” a woman’s voice said in soft tones. “You’re ok. It’ll pass.” It was Carol, one hand supported your back while the other pulled your hand away before you could break skin. 

“Xorrian Elixir, hurts like a bastard but works every time,” she offers you a weak smile. 

“What?” You croak. 

“Nothing,” she shakes her head. “That was one hell of an effort.” 

An effort. 

Not a success. 

You go numb. 

Whatever Carol had given you may have healed your body, pulled you back from the brink, even pushed your power back into its box. But everything you had left, you’d poured into that last act, that final attempt to bring the stones back and reverse this nightmare, no matter the cost. 

And you’d failed. 

There was nothing left. 

Natasha lays a hand on your shoulder, “We’re here.” It takes you a moment to realize what she means. Honestly, you didn’t even remember getting on the ship… 

You follow her out in a fog and stand a few paces away from the others numbly staring into the night sky when suddenly you find yourself tumbling through the air. 

In your present state, you don’t know how to react consciously, but your power catches you before your face meets the ground, acting like a cushion. A memory of Bucky tingles in your mind before it’s interrupted by a voice.

“Get up!” A rough voice, dripping with rage, bellows. 

It doesn’t register as Steve. Only when you roll over, leaning up on your forearms do you realize. His face looms over you, twisted with a dangerous cocktail of emotions. 

“Get up!” His hands grip your jacket, the fabric beginning to tear as he lifts you to your feet. Breaking his grip, you stumble back, unsure what to make of the situation. 

“What the-” You don’t get to finish. 

Steve’s fist cracks against your jaw sending you reeling for a split second. It wasn’t a full-force hit, you sparred with him enough to know that. That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt like hell. 

Your power pulses over your skin just once, tingling like static. A flicker of emotion rises in your chest, pushing back on the hopeless void just a bit.

“If you’re gonna hit me, Rogers,” you spit blood from where your cheek and teeth met, “don’t insult me by holding back.” 

Roaring, he charges you. 

Everything after that was a blur. 

As it used to do years ago your power fled in the throws of a fight, that part of your mind shuttering itself lest you lose control. You preferred that. True, he was stronger than you, so your power would have helped, but you were quick, smaller, and Bucky had taught you well.  

You pay no mind to the shouts from the others to stop. Blow after blow you just keep going. Neither of you concerned about the consequences. 

Because this felt… good. There was no denying that. The taste of blood and sweat and adrenaline on your tongue. 

“What did you think you were doing?!” He managed to get you in a lock, pinning your arms against your back with your face in the dirt. 

“What the hell are you talking about?” You ask managing to work yourself free. 

“On that fucking mountain. What the hell-” You cut him off with a solid punch to the gut. 

“He said he reduced them to atoms.” It made sense enough to you. 

“And?!” He recovers but you pivot away from his next blow. “Since when can you-”

“Do you not remember Wakanda? Big fucking crater in the ground?"

You continue to dodge one another’s volleys. 

He shakes his head, “You could have died!” Steve somersaults, landing a kick to your shoulder that you weren’t sure didn’t dislocate it. You hiss in pain. 

“So what if I did?” Grimacing you force the join back, nearly screaming. He seems to notice and for the first time, you see his resolve melt, a glimmer of concern showing. 

“One life-” you pant.

“Your life, Y/N!” 

“My life for trillions.” You get his feet from under him, pinning his arms to the ground with your knees. “Same math you did in 1945.” 

He throws you off and you land in a kneeling position. White-hot rage colors his expression. 

“Oh,” you laugh bitterly, “I forgot, Steve Rogers, is the only one who gets to make the sacrifice play right?!” 

Time blurs. It may have been thirty seconds or maybe an hour before you have Steve on the ground once more, his throat between your thighs. You fight with screaming muscles to keep him down. 

“What was I supposed to tell him?” He wheezes.

The question throws your equilibrium, causing you to lose your hold. He sucks in a raspy breath, grips your thighs, lifting you up off the ground and tossing you over his head. 

You expect your power to cushion you but it doesn’t. Your hands burn as they catch your fall, the ground tearing at the skin. 

Anticipating his next move you roll to the side, barely avoiding the body blow he was about to land. He rolls in the opposite direction from you. 

“Guess it doesn’t matter,” he says as he stands, venom in his voice. 

“What?”

 It doesn’t matter because you’re a failure twice over, a voice in your head whispers. But you want him to say it, want someone to recognize it, to hold you accountable for your weakness. 

“You’re clearly moving on just fine,” he spits. You freeze mid-lunge, gaping at him. 

His voice drops low, “Call me old fashioned, but I figured you’d mourn your husband a little longer before having midnight trists in the kitchen.”

The power that had evaded you comes back in a tidal wave. It crackles beneath your skull, humming in your veins. For a breath, it’s overwhelming, the world, and its multitude of layers rising in your awareness. Then it settles just enough for you to gain control and slam it into Steve.

He sucks in a breath as your power constricts him. 

“How dare you,” you say, so low you don’t know if he can hear. You squeeze, feeling tiny blood vessels burst under his skin. 

“Do it,” he huffs, eyes locked on yours. “Do. It.” His anger slips from him with each forced breath replaced by desperation. 

You release him and he stumbles back. 

“We’re not finished, Y/N!” He screams at you as you turn away. Even without your eyes on him, you feel his rapid approach. 

With a thought you lift him from the ground in mid-stride, taking his body several feet into the air before slamming him back down with ground-shaking force. 

“Yes, we are,” you say without looking back.

TAGS

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[filypadreams]

Fleeting Touches

( Asmodeus x GN!MC)

Synopsis: Do you know what fleeting means? It means you should apreciate every moment while you can. Even if you get lost in illusions for it.

TW: Slight angst

_______________________________

The streets were full this time of the year, even with the cold weather. It was a race for most humans to get that last minute gift for that special someone.

Their children, parents, grandparents or significant others. For some reason it's tradition to get that one person a last minute present.

And that's always a disaster...

" Calvin Klein One... with bergamot, cardamom, pineapple and jasmin. Tropical? Or maybe Dolce & Gabanna Velvet Exotic Leather. Traditional and italian... also at good prices, I need to ask if they are antiallergenic! "

I spend 15 minutes on the line but get both perfumes and walk outside onto the sunny street. It's not as busy as the mall and I really should get home before it gets to close to one pm.

Today, faces are a blur to me.

" Thanks for the tip Asmo, I was sick of the strong scents of women perfumes and the always down to earth male ones~"

I cheerfully speak to myself while touching the 'tattoo' above my left breast.

It's a one-way communication system. I'm not even sure Asmodeus hears what I tell him but I sure do hear his thoughts.

" Ohhh, bootie alert at 12! No, wait! Delicious curves at 4- oohh...that's a mix at 9 o'clock~!"

I see a man, woman, I think the last one is in mid transitioning but I'm not sure.

" He'll be a beautiful man, I'm 95% sure!"

" Maybe it's a 'they'... not that you can hear me."

Though I agree, they look...handsome. With a nice physique, curly shoulder lenght hair, smooth skin as if rivalling Asmos' ... and who can resist a dark biker leather jacket?!

No, stop. Don't let the mark influence you from your mission MC!

Setting the christmas gifts.

I start running in the direction of the bus station when I collide with a tall lady, her black shades falling to the ground from her beautiful light pink sweater.

My head hurts. It felt like hitting a brick wall...or Beel.

Are my only thoughts as I scramble to pick her glasses and my shopping bag. Good thing it was well packed.

"Oh my~ I'm so sorry, I didn't notice such a beautiful face in this crowd. I was retoutching my eyeliner, huhu! Let me help~"

The lady crouches down next to me. I notice from the corner of my eyes that she is also wearing a black turtle neck... and has peach coloured hair...

" Asmo?!"

Darkness. A cold hand covers my eyes while the other takes the shades from mine and exchanges them with my bags...it seems. He whispers is my ear.

" Now, now. Don't ruin the surprise! I'm just a beautiful 'lady'. Hahaha."

And with that he dissapears. Everything seems to dissapear, as soon it gets dark and I'm sitted in my couch, replaying today's event.

It felt so real... I called him a lady.

Well... I don't think Asmodeus minds.

I walk around the tree, putting down colorfully wrapped gifts. That I went purposely to markets and malls to have wrapped!

Diavolo better play Santa and give me some grimm if I ever get an invite to Devildom, I blew most of my allowances with these!

On the blue corner I have vynil disks and office supplies. Getting stuff for Lucifer is hard.

The yellow corner... is a mess of acessories like shades and wristwatches and some jackets. Mammon needs a new one.

The orange corner was the cheapest but most difficult to prepare. I wrapped most of my otaku related rarities, in Devildom at least, and put them in a pile. Levi better apreciate my figurines!

The green pile was also simple. It's actually small with my old literature books. All from great authors and all trying to escape religious judgement so Satan might find that amusing.

I don't have a red corner, just baked goods on the table and two glasses of milk in case Santa visits.

I put purple pillows, warm robes, matresses and scarves around the tree. Belphie won't lose comfort soon.

And now finishing the pink corner.

There's the perfumes, some cosmetics I really don't get but my 'chest instinct' said to go ahead and...

" I hope he likes this fluffy bunny backpack!"

I kinda wanted the bunny for myself... but I can't.

The day went on so fast... why am I even doing this? Might as well call Solomon and offer him these so he can perform his rituals. I'll just wake up tomorrow to a full room of wasted money and a mountain of calories. An empty heart.

I caress the bunny when i hear rustling on my door. Something is playing with my wreath? I pick a knife from the dinning table.

" W-who's there?! Show yourself fiend!"

" Aww, that hurts to hear MC-chan..."

From the darkness into the light walks the same person I crashed into this morning.

" You better drop that knife before someone gets hurt..."

" How...Asmo, how are you here?! Why?!!"

Tears come to my eyes. It's been a while. A long while since I've seen any of them. Since I've had slumber parties with Asmodeus, self care sessions...

He shakes his head cleaning the few teardrops away with the back of his index finger and walks to the tree, messing with the gifts.

" Tears don't suit you well. Oh, you even got something for Barbatos... I'm slightly jealous, I thought you only thought about me~"

He starts opening his gifts.

" Wait! It's not even Christmas Eve. We need to wait until midnight at least..."

As I try to explain, his taller stature hovers over me, playing with my hair and putting a mistletoe, secure in it's knots. Wait... how is he so tall? The height difference is too abnormal.

" I'm afraid the concept of time doesn't apply in dreams, MC."

" H-huh?! Wha... the day... went on really fast. So you..."

I look down slightly dissapointed. The floor starts cracking and falling. Darkness and constelations starting to form under my feet.

" Afraid not. Christmas is not really part of our traditions, haha. Even if we had a great celebration that one time Diavolo proposed we did it with the exchange students.

I like the angel."

He points to the tree top.

" Oh, that... I was thinking of Beel and Belphie when I made the decision. It's my oldest decoration. I was thinking on putting a star this year but... I got a literal gut feeling to keep the angel."

I smirk at Asmodeus as he puts an arm around my shoulders, leaning me a little closer to him. We both apreciate the flashing lights from the tree. Even if it was fake. The rest of the room crumbles away and Asmo let's go of me to pick his gifts and stuffing them inside his new backpack.

" I know he was thinking of the only person that shines as bright as us two together.

Hmm, but you haven't been taking good care of yourself, MC-chan! Remember to follow the morning routine I gave you so your skin is almost as perfect as mine!"

" I haven't been feeling like...doing much I guess. I had a lot of work this year."

" Humans are always full of work. I mean me too.

Since RAD is closed for the 'holidays', we are back to our other jobs. Things get dirty real fast, so many pests! Maybe we can actually come visit during New Year's."

After apreciating the representation if Lilith, he turns to berate me, before picking a bottle of perfurm and examining it, followed by spraying some on while making a spin as he explains his bodyguard/demon threat exterminator job.

He must have loved it because he transforms, with a smile on his face and his horns move like pincers.

" I always found your demon form the funniest."

" ...Dear, I'm fabulous."

" Hahahahaha! Ok, but if this isn't a Diavolo, Barbatos or Lucifer' scheme... is it Belphegor's? You mentioned dreams, and it explains the constelations."

I look around, darkness being drilled by the light of many tiny stars.

" I think I see taurus... and of course he had ro include pisces. Mammon is supposed to be the greedy one, this is OUR moment!"

He huffes and crosses his arms. I chuckle and pat his back.

" So, I'm asleep at the same time as Belphie."

" It's night time in both worlds. You could say I'm an intruder. I was taking my immersive nightly bath as I prepared to get into your dreams~ I hope I didn't actually fall asleep, my poor skin!"

" How did you convince him?"

I wonder as he touches his arm and the parts of revealed skin as if to feel if something was wrong with his real body.

" Oh, well...he actually wanted to see you to! I also promised to take more cute pictures of Lucifer for him. But I don't think he admires his beauty the same way I do-"

The world trembles. Belphie must be waking up. And angry...

" Oh, dear! I must have upset him. This illusion will end soon and you'll wake up in your bed as if nothing happened. I hope you don't forget me."

Asmo walks closer and caresses my face. Kissing my forehead.

It's warm. Fleeting but I can feel his gestures. Even in a dream.

I slap his hand when I feel it sliding down my back a little too far.

" Ouch! My nail...ok, ok. I'm sorry! Won't happen again~"

He apologises when making contact with my burning stare and proceeds to act innocently after.

" It better not. I... think it will be difficult to forget you. Specially now. Make sure the others know-! Ahh!!!"

Another quake and I "conveniently" fall in his arms. I'm able to see his pixie sized wings batting in excitement.

" This is a cliché."

I mumble as Asmo wraps his arms around me.

" I need to go. I'm sure we'll see each other soon. You know I'll always be here. Literally. And I do hear you, you know?"

He pokes his mark, above my heart and pouts.

" ...I know... see you soon Asmo."

I pick his hand and kiss it.

Then I wake up. It's still the middle of the night. My room is cold.

There on my window sill are two roses. One peach and one dark pink.

The End

______________________________

Special dedicatory to: @shortnessangel

and @asmoluvsyou .

Bunny Backpack comes from: https://kawaiibabe.com/products/creepy-bun-backpack

(Curiosities: The perfumes are gender neutral, I can still link you the page where I found them.

The colour of the roses have a specific meaning. I can post the pic I got it from if you want.)

[kiarcheo]

StepBother - Part 2

@tally-braven asked for more stepbother teasing and I said I’d try to put some snippets together… 2800 words later…here we are. Not sure how it compares to the the first part (don’t think it will make much sense if you haven’t read it) but I tried.

Some episodes are inspired by real life events…feel free to try to guess which ones.

As usual you can read it on ao3 too.

                                                --------------------------------

Kat and Cathy stand at the entrance of the house they share, still holding hands, as they have been for the entirety of their walk home after dinner.

‘Hate to leave you like this, but I have something to take care of.’ Kat raises Cathy’s hand to her lips, kissing it briefly.

Then she opens the door and gone is the soft voice. ‘You better start running!’

‘Wow,’ Anna is almost bowled over by Mary running up the stairs. Few second later it’s Katherine who narrowly manages to avoid crashing into her.

‘What's happening?’ she cautiously steps into the living room, wary of another possible collision, as she hears a door slamming.

‘No idea. Kat came back with Cathy, told Mary to run and...that happened.’ Jane waves her hand towards upstairs.

‘Mary! Open the door!’ Kat bangs on it. ‘I know how to pick locks and you know it.’

‘She does??’

Cathy is not sure why they are looking at her, but she is saved from having to reply. She did not know about it, just for the record.

‘Is Mae sleeping yet?’ Kat pokes her head out from up the stairs, a grimace on her face.

Jane looks at time. ‘She was playing with Anne and Elizabeth so probably not, but-’ she gives another pointed look to the clock hanging on the wall.

‘Got it. I’ll try to murder her quietly.’

**********

‘I have some news.’ Kat announces entering the room.

‘You finally leaving?’

Kat glares at Mary. ‘As if I’d ever give you the satisfaction.’ She turns around to leave the room.

‘Wait!’ Jane stops her. ‘What was the news?’

‘The moment is gone.’ Kat shrugs. ‘But I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough.’

Sometime later Cathy knocks on the doorpost of Kat’s room. ‘Can I?’

‘You know you don’t have to ask.’ Kat smiles at her. ‘What can I do for you?’

Cathy steps in. She glances between her girlfriend and the hallway. She closes the door.

‘Oh.’ Kat wriggles her eyebrows. ‘That kind of thing?’

‘Shut up.’ Cathy huffs, rolling her eyes. ‘It’s not like that.’ She says while sitting down in her lap.

‘Mixed messages, darling.’

Cathy tries to stand up, but Kat wraps her arms around her, stopping her. ‘No take backs!’

‘Not that I mind this. At all.’ Kat speaks up after they have been snuggling in silence for a while. ‘But did you come for a reason? Not that cuddling is not a good enough reason.’

‘Right.’ Cathy had almost forgot why she went looking for Kat in the first place. ‘Jane said you had news, but you didn’t actually tell them?’ She doesn’t think it’s anything big, trusting Kat would tell her in that case, but she is curious. ‘Because Mary ruined the moment?’

‘When does she not? And it’s not news for you.’

‘Uh?’

‘At least I hope.’ She adds cheekily.

‘You think you’re funny, don’t you?’

‘Well, you are smiling...’

‘Spit it out.’ Cathy can’t deny the evidence, can she?

‘I was just going to tell them we are dating, but alas…’

Cathy nods. They had agreed at first to keep it under wraps to see how the transition from friends to girlfriends would go, but now they feel secure enough in their new relationship to let the others know. ‘So, what now?’

‘I’m sure it will come up...out soon.’ Kat gets a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. ‘You can’t keep your hands off me after all.’

‘Me.’ Cathy gives her teasing girlfriend a deadpan stare, before looking down at the hand on her thigh. Kat’s other hand is currently under her shirt, resting on her lower back. Cathy’s arms are innocently looped around Kat’s neck. ‘Sure.’

**********

‘I think green is definitely your colour.’

‘As if I would ever be jealous of you.’ Mary scoffs.

‘Interesting that’s where your mind went to...I was thinking more Wicked Witch of the West. Or Shrek.’ Kat adds after a beat.

‘First of all, I’d be Fiona – at the very least –   since I’m a lady. Second, who would you be? Donkey?’

‘There is literally Puss in Boots, a literal character who is a cat in boots,’ Kat gestures to the ones she is wearing, ‘and you went with freaking Donkey?’

‘Shut up.’

**********

‘How is coming along, girls?’ Catalina asks, entering the kitchen to check how the preparations are going since they are on cooking duties and Mary is not exactly known for her culinary skills. Indeed, Kat has different piles of ingredients already washed, chopped, prepared and ready to go and Mary has...a bowl full of green leaves in front of her and some mangled carrots on the chopping board.  ‘Kat, you work fast.’

‘I’m very good with my hands.’ Kat winks at her.

‘Are you serious? Right in front of my salad?’

‘I wouldn’t call that poor excuse of something a salad... Perhaps just...sad.’

Mary stares at her. Looks at her mother who is chuckling. Then she leaves the room.  

‘Where are you going?!’

‘Want me to make her come back?’ Mary might be a young adult, but Catalina is still her mother and she will listen to her if she knows what is good for her.

‘Nah. Not like she was that helpful, anyway, wasn’t she?’ She jokes, gesturing towards Mary’s workstation.

‘Are you talking behind my back?’ Mary comes back. She has a strong sense of duty – her mother doing – and it is her turn to cook, after all.

‘Nothing I don’t say to your face, don’t worry.’

**********

‘What’s this?’ Mary picks up a small object wrapped in colourful paper.

‘A gift, if I have to guess.’ Anne gets a glare from Mary, but she shrugs it off.

‘Oh, that’s nice.’ Jane comments, watching curiously as she opens it. It’s a...peeler?

‘I would say that’s all you are good for, but that’s not even true.’ Kat shows up as if evoked. ‘Hence the need for that.’

Anna barely suppresses a snicker. She loves her friend, but Mary’s incapacity to peel vegetables with a knife without cutting off half of the good part is hilarious almost as much as her blaming the quality of the knives. Is it true that they don’t make knives like they used to? Maybe. But as if as a princess and then queen she ever had to handle one to peel a vegetable....

‘Or not.’ Jane mutters, the way Kat and Mary manage to turn even the sweetest gesture into something...not sweet baffling her as usual.

‘I’m going to poison your food.’

‘That would imply you cooking...so I think I’m safe.’

**********

‘Kat, are you gonna marry mama and be my new mom?’

Kat chokes on her tea, nonetheless she motions Mae to get closer. ‘Why are you asking?’

Mae shrugs, before leaning against Kat’s leg.

Kat wraps an arm around her and holds her closer, before looking at her thoughtfully. ‘Did someone say something?’

The toddler nods. ‘Mary told me to ask you.’ She admits guilelessly. Oh, the blissful innocence of children.

‘Of course, she did.’ Kat mutters.

Thankfully Cathy comes in distracting Mae from her task. ‘Ehi baby, have you shown Kat your drawing yet?’

As Mae runs off to get her latest artwork, Kat turns to Cathy. ‘What do you think of starting to call her Mary?’

‘It’s still going to be as confusing as it was when we decided for the nicknames?’ She looks at her perplexed. Kat should know better than anyone since they had the same “problem”. ‘With two of them around and all?’

‘Oh, don’t worry.’ Cathy’s usually sweet girlfriend gives her a shark smile. ‘The other one won’t be around for much longer.’

**********

Cathy and Kat are out together, Mae in tow, when they stop in front of a stationery shop.

‘She still has plenty of colouring books.’

‘I was actually looking at that,’ Kat points to a set of coloured pencils heavily discounted, ‘but now that you mention it...’

‘I didn't know you liked to draw too.’ Kat has a penchant for spoiling Mae (and Elizabeth and Edward), but pencils that expensive and fancy for a toddler are too much even for her. Hopefully.

‘For Mary.’ Kat replies absent-mindedly as she enters the shop.

‘That's nice.’

Kat swirls around. ‘Never say anything like that again.’ She gives her a level stare. ‘If you want this to work out. There is nothing worse you could do to me.’

‘Really??’ Disbelief is heavy in Cathy’s voice. ‘Nothing worse??’

‘Well, on purpose, anyway.’ Kat amends herself. ‘Would you cheat on me?’

‘Of course not!’ Cathy’s reply is immediate and certain, no hesitation whatsoever. ‘Never.’

‘Are you going to hurt me...physically?’

‘What the fuck, Kat! NO!’

Everyone in the shop turns to look at them, but Kat ignores it. ‘Exactly, so yes, that’s the worst thing.’

**********

‘Give me a good reason!’

Catalina walks in what looks like yet another spat between Kat and Mary. She would make a joke about pigtails pulling and crushes or about fighting like an old married couple, but she is not sure she would survive unscathed, filial affection be damned. And the joke is not worth the headache, especially since she knows it’s not like that at all and will never be. Not to mention that she suspects something is going on between Kat and Cathy.

‘And “I was the Queen of England” does not count!’ Kat continues before Mary can reply. ‘The whole bloody house can say that, you’re not that special!’

**********

It’s late at night, pretty much the only time Cathy has to do her own stuff, after taking care of kids, house, family, work and everything else, as many mothers know.

She is working at her desk when she hears a muffled commotion. Then her door opening and a soft thud.

She turns around. For a second she wonders if it had been just a draught, before seeing Kat sprawled on the floor but already raising on her knees.

‘Are you okay?’

‘Yep!’

‘Why are you on the floor then?’

‘Mary shoved me.’

Cathy has stopped questioning these kinds of things. But as Kat looks up, eyes bright, face flushed and...dopey grin? She has another question. ‘Are you drunk?’

‘Nope!’ She tries to stand, giving up not even half-way through the motion. ‘Maybe a tiny bit.’ Evidently deciding that walking is a no-go, Kat starts to crawl on all four.

‘Tiny bit my ass.’ Cathy snorts.

‘I like your ass.’

‘Wait here.’ Cathy ignores her girlfriend’s muttered words.

‘Not going anywhere.’ Kat promises in a what is probably supposed to be a serious tone.

When Cathy comes back with a glass of water, Kat had somehow managed to reach the bed and sit on it.

‘Drink this.’

‘Are you trying to get me drunk?’ Kat squints at her, suspicious.

‘I don’t think you need my help for that.’ Cathy hands her the glass. ‘What happened exactly?’ she asks after Kat dutifully drinks all the water without further protests.

‘Mary got me drunk. To get me to confess my feelings to you. Joke’s on her.’ Kat sniggers. ‘She paid for all the drinks. But I don’t need to be drunk to tell you how much I like you.’

‘Lay down.’ Cathy gently pushes her as she sees her starting to waver. ‘Wait...she still doesn’t know?’

She looks at Kat, face scrunched up and eyes closed. She would not fall asleep like that, right? She leans on her elbow so that she is hovering over Kat’s face, just to check.

‘She keeps saying I’ll owe her for getting us together and I keep telling her no,’ Kat looks deep in thoughts. ‘So maybe not?’

Suddenly her eyes shoot open and she grabs Cathy by her collar, tugging her so close to their noses are almost touching. ‘Never tell her that!’

She tilts her head. Gone is the intense look in her eyes, replaced by a sappy expression. ‘You’re so cute!’

Cathy lets out a cackle. ‘Go to sleep.’

‘Here?’ She looks around as if realising for the first time she is in Cathy’s room. ‘No funny business!’ she wags her finger at Cathy but scoots over while tugging her down so that Cathy would lay down properly too.

‘You’re the only funny thing here.’ Still, Cathy settles next to her.

‘Good.’ Kat puts her head on Cathy’s shoulder, slinging an arm across her waist and a leg over hers. ‘They say you need to make a woman laugh to keep her. And I want to keep you forever.’

‘How can you go from absolutely ridiculous to absolutely charming in the space of-’ Cathy turns her head to look down at Kat. ‘And you’re gone.’ She sighs. Well. At least now she knows what type of drunk Kat is. Thankfully she isn’t a violent or aggressive one (she honestly can’t even imagine her girlfriend like that) or an angry one. She is not a sad drunk, either, which is a bit more surprising, since she has plenty of reasons to be sad (and angry, if she were to be honest) about her life even when sober.

She glances at her desk. Then at her sleeping girlfriend. She should keep an eye on her. No matter how adorable she was when drunk, she is quite sure she is gonna hate herself when she wakes up. She supposes work can wait another day. And a little bit more of sleep isn’t going to hurt her either.

‘How much did she drink, exactly?’ Cathy asks the next day.

‘Is she okay?’ She sees a flash of concern in Mary’s eyes, before she schools her expression into an indifferent one. That’s why Cathy just rolls with their antics. She can’t say she understands their relationship. She is not sure she will ever do. But she knows that they care about each other...even if they will deny it until their dying breath.

‘Depends on your definition of okay. Is she alive? Yes. But she is also deeply regretting the fact and calling for a second beheading, so make of that what you will.’

**********

‘Since it’s only a question of time, I wanted us to discuss it so we can be all on the same page.’ Anne sends Kat and Anna a pointed look. She would be proud of how Elizabeth has them wrapped around her little finger if it didn’t make her life as a mother harder. They ignore the jab, unfazed. They have a role as the cool, fun aunts to maintain. ‘Let’s talk about animals in the house.’ Elizabeth has been dropping not-so-subtle hints about wanting to get a pet.

‘What about Mary?’ Kat gets hit in the head by a rubber. Thrown by Mary, of course. ‘Let’s call pest control. I vote for extermination.’

**********

‘You two are having sex.’ Mary storms into the living room, where Anna had told her Kat was watching a movie with Cathy.

‘Catalina, why didn’t you tell me, I would have paused the movie.’

The older woman sputters, the popcorn she was eating going down the wrong pipe. Cathy reaches around Kat, who is sitting in the middle, to pat her godmother on the back.

‘Also, Mary, dear,’ Kat continues unperturbed, ‘do you spend a lot of time thinking about me and your mom together?’

‘That’s not what I meant, and you know it.’

‘Do I?’ Kat looks at Mary as if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, eyes twinkling.

**********

‘I know I'm right and I’m gonna prove it.’ Mary slams her hands on the table, glaring at Kat.

‘You’re not.’

‘I am.’

‘Not.’

‘Am.’

‘Not.’

‘Am.’

‘Not.’

‘How long will you keep it up?’ Catalina asks, weary amusement in her voice.

‘I can go for hours, babe,’ Kat winks at her.

‘Right in front of...your girlfriend!?!’ Mary turns to Cathy. ‘And you are okay with that??’

‘I’m not going to get into this.’ Does she love Kat? Yes. Is she in love? If not already there, she is surely falling. But is she going to get involved into whatever you would call the thing between Kat and Mary? No, thanks. She may be in love, it doesn’t suddenly make her stupid.

‘Wait.’ Mary does a double-take. ‘Are you admitting you’re dating??’

Everyone looks at them. They would have told them, right? Kat doesn’t say anything.

The lack of denial is all Mary needs. ‘This is gaslighting!’ Mary looks and sounds absolutely outraged.

‘I never denied it.’ Kat objects. ‘Just that it’s because of you.’

‘Of course it is. I got you two together.’

‘You are not even able to get two braincells together.’

‘Are you saying I'm stupid?’

‘I’m saying you don’t have a romantic bone in your body.’

‘I set you up on that movie date!’ Mary reminds her pointedly.

‘That movie made me cry!’ Kat is kind of sorry that she will never be able to discuss the beauty of that movie, and what it meant to her, with anyone else but Cathy. But she will never give Mary the satisfaction.

‘Just admit it.’ Mary cries out in exasperation.

‘Over my dead body.’

‘We can arrange that.’

[ayellowcurtain]

Maybe when Sander went shopping for a gift for Robbe for whatever reason. He bumped into Britt and they had words about what Britt said to Robbe that night. After that, she finally says "I'm sorry." // Could you write something about Britt either running into or seeing Robbe & Sander together and she apologizes to them both but it’s the first Sander is hearing of what she said to Robbe // could you write a part 3 to sander and robbe being childhood sweethearts? // Can you write a part 3 to the robbe and sander being childhood sweethearts and how they’ll transition from being best friends to lovers? // please we need a third part of that childhood sweethearts!!! 

Part 2 

Robbe knows he should keep his distance. The line is getting thinner and thinner with every day that goes by. He knows he shouldn’t be staying at Sander’s place, creating an excuse to use his clothes, never the clean ones, ideally the ones he was just using, that are still warm and smelling like Sander. 

But they’re just friends. Just friends.

He keeps repeating the two words over and over again inside his brain as he watches Sander talking to Britt. Robbe never thought he would have to watch this scene ever again. 

Their break up it’s not his fault, Sander told him this a bunch of times when it happened, but Britt doesn’t like him, she particularly hates how close Sander and Robbe are and you don’t need to be a genius to put those pieces together. He isn’t the one to blame for the break-up, but Robbe knows he was at least a part of the reasons. 

They were dating for a while and Robbe has no reason to be jealous, he and Sander don’t have anything happening between them. Sander and Britt can obviously talk, hook up, have sex- 

“Bro?” Robbe blinks, looking at Jens, offering the joint in front of his eyes. “Your laser eyes are going to cut her in half.” Jens laughs as he sits right next to Robbe on the table, watching Sander and Britt too. 

“I don’t have laser eyes.” He says as he opens his chips, offering to Jens. 

“You have, don’t deny it. They’re just talking, bro. Sander is not a child, he can take care of himself, if he didn’t want to talk to her, he wouldn’t be there. Britt can be bitchy, but so can Sander, so chill.” 

Jens is not wrong, Sander can handle himself better than anyone else. Maybe that’s part of what bothers Robbe. Why is he talking to Britt?

-

“I shouldn’t have...told him about your life without your permission. I was angry and frustrated and...” 

“You don’t like Robbe.” Britt meets his eyes again and they both sort of laugh. Britt nods her head, putting her hair behind her ear. Her hair is different, shorter. 

She doesn’t have to like Robbe. Sander highly disagrees with her, but he can’t force people to like someone. And if he allows himself to be selfish, the fewer strangers like Robbe, the better. It’s better if Britt and Robbe stay away from each other anyway. When they were dating, Robbe kept his distance and Sander couldn’t have that. 

“Anyway, I’m sorry. I hope you two...figure your things out.” She nods her head and looks over his shoulder. Sander can feel Robbe’s eyes on them and he knows Britt is looking at him now. 

“We’re not together if that’s what you’re trying to say.” Sander notices how Britt rolls her eyes, as always, quickly getting tired of his bullshit. 

“Well, you should. It’s so obvious and annoying.” 

Sander agrees, but not completely and he can’t say that to her. If he did, Britt would turn his words into something else, finding a way to connect whatever is going on between him and Robbe now to their break up almost three months ago. 

“Anyway, I guess we’re good now?” She plays with her hair, putting to one side and he nods his head, taking his hands off his pockets to give her an awkward hug. 

It wasn’t that bad with Britt. Sander is very aware that he’s not the easiest person either, maybe they were a good duo of average people that constantly fuck up. When she started getting too controlling, Sander was already out of it, letting himself fall fast and deeply in love with his best friend. 

He lets her walk away and counts to five, knowing what he’ll find when he turns around. Robbe looks away as soon as their eyes meet, searching for chips inside his bag, readjusting his glasses at the bridge of his nose. Jens is by his side now, raising his eyebrows and shaking Sander’s hand when he gets close enough, grabbing his bag right next to Robbe’s. 

“Let’s go home, cutie.” Sander kisses Robbe’s jaw, wanting to go just a little lower, but Jens is right there, watching their every move. And he could feel from miles away that Robbe is jealous. He’ll never say it out loud, but Sander can feel it by the way he almost moves away from the kiss, very different from the tight hug Robbe is usually ready to give him after those kinds of kisses. 

 “I wonder when you two are going to finally fuck and get this over with.” Sander instantly looks up, watching as Robbe cheeks turn bright red as he stumbles to get up from the table, putting his bag over his shoulder. 

The walk back home is surrounded by the most awkward silence between them. The apartment is completely silent and Robbe drops his bag on the floor. 

“I talked to Jens...he said I could stay at his place for a few days. Zoe said there’s a room at her flat that’ll be available for a couple of months and I think I’m going to go there to check it out tomorrow or the next day.” 

Sander feels his heart skip a beat, trying to digest all the sudden information Robbe is throwing at him. 

“Why...You can stay here. My parents love you and they already told you that you can stay for as long as you want. I’m sure they would be thrilled to have you living with us.” 

Robbe takes his jacket off, carefully hanging it behind the door. 

“I don’t want to bother, Sander. I can handle myself, it’ll be good to have my own space again and you’ll have...your privacy back.” 

Sander moves closer a little too quickly, noticing how Robbe steps back, bumping against the door behind him, looking up at Sander. “What the fuck are you talking about, Robbe? I have my privacy and I really want you to stay.” 

They’re way too close, there’s no way this can be seen as an accident and Sander doesn’t want that. He’s tired of hiding behind innocent nights where they end up tangled together or behind jokes that he means every word. 

They keep teasing each other that nobody will be able to love them as they love each other, about getting married if they don’t find anyone else after they are too old to go on dates. 

Robbe leans against the door, looking at Sander with the softest, doe-eyed again and Sander wants to kiss him so badly. 

“And Britt?” Robbe asks just above a whisper, with the softest voice and Sander forgets about everything, anything around them. It’s only he and Robbe, always. 

“Britt who?” 

The things Sander would do to make this boy happy. He steps closer, their chests meet in the middle when they exhale, breathing each other in and out. Sander puts his hand on Robbe’s hair, gently making him look to the side, kissing the corner of his lips. 

“And I’m never letting you go.” Sander looks at Robbe again, making sure he wants this just as badly as Sander. Quietly, he puts his hands on Robbe’s sides, feeling how oversized his hoodie is, struggling to find Robbe’s small waist. Sander stares at the soft lips, gently pressing his lips against Robbe’s, feeling how he melts into Sander, carefully putting his arms around Sander’s neck. 

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-09-15

This caught me laaaate at night gosh I’m tired but I’m gonna get it outta the way so it won’t stick in my craw!  Already saw the first page, so it’s time for:

> CHAPTER 13. The Funeral

Church with chess symbols at the peaks and a Prospit/Derse or Hope/Rage split color theme on the stained glass windows.

JANE: Dearly beloved...

> (==>)

Trolls, humans, and papparazzi.  Oh, hm, this church is RATHER carapacian isn’t it?  Between the chess and the continuing Prospit-Derse themes, like how this corresponds to how they align in the incipisphere top-left to bottom-right if I recall:

(Minus the outlying orbs to the left and right for symmetry.)

That twisted pattern is interesting, and not quite a spirograph.  Is that gonna be important later?  If we’re going to get some sort of class chart later in the comic, it’d be easy for them to hint at the chart’s graphical structure subtly by dropping it places like here.

JANE: Ladies... JANE: Gentlemen... JANE: News outlets... JANE: And other valued members of the Human Nation State.

Technically true, but still odd to hear--  ...oh right, I forgot this was asshole dictator-wannabe Jane, too.

I read an interesting twitter thread recently about the intense psychological distinction between wanting to BE the best, and wanting to be TREATED like you’re the best.  Epilogues/HS^2 Jane is kind of written as a case study on the pitfalls of leaning on the latter instead of the former.

> (==>)

They brought Yiffy WITH them-!?  --Oh right.  The hostage exchange was supposed to happen here wasn’t it.

Yiffy definitely looks like a Harley-Lalonde daughter in this shot.

JANE: Gamzee Makara, High Court Jester, exalted saint of the purple veil, has left us to traverse that grand, gay carnival in the sky, where, I am told by various members of the clownly cloth, he will spend the rest of history, honking in grand tribute to the Mirthful Messiah.

SINGULAR???

Weird.  Is it because Alt!Callie “won” here?

Or is Jane just forgetting because she’s culturally used to monotheism (ironically) and is insensitive.

JANE: And my first memory of our Purple Prince, was his robust codpiece--

Wow.

> (==>)

JANE: --As he offered me his friendly support, along with the sacred blood of his brethren, the holy sacrament--

He STILL killed trolls??! (EDIT: No, a friend points out that she's talking about when she met him first in Act 6 and he tried selling bottles of troll blood to her. EDIT2: -which may be another inconsistency, since Vriska supposedly overwrote that post-retcon.)

> (==>)

It takes Jake a few seconds of puzzled eye contact before he catches exactly what it is Yiffany is tossing down. In his defense, he is distracted by his wife’s speech, which is doing the emotional equivalent of wringing him out like a wet towel, before using that towel to slap the sweaty buttocks of a large, odorous man. Even if he knows everything she’s saying is a load of horsefeathers, it does nothing for his composure to hear her heap praise on that smelly, homewrecking clown.

Bad things about Gamzee deserve to be said here, yes.

Jake wonders what she’ll say about him, at his own funeral.

Now those are some uncomfortable thoughts.

He narrows his eyes in Yiffany’s direction. She’s a lovely girl, really. He wishes he could have gotten to know her under better circumstances. He’d known she existed, of course--Jane had complained about her often enough--but they’d never had much chance to get acquainted. He rather believes her and Tavvy would have been fast friends.

Then again, perhaps it’s better that she never had much of a chance to get to know his family.

He lets go of the leash.

Yep, there’s a plan to set in motion that he’s probably already discussed with her privately.  Gotta unite this four-kid team after all.

> (==>)

Wait, are you ATTACKING?!?  --Of course you’re attacking.  You would even if the plan was something different, wouldn’t you.

JANE: And I know that at times like these it is easy to want to give in. JANE: To throw in the towel, and turn our faces away from the light of democracy and moral fortitude that we, the citizens of the human kingdom, are blessed with from birth. JANE: God knows I’ve had my own faith tested in the last few weeks.

Jesus Christ, what has she turned the place into, a fucking theocracy?

She sounds like the leader of some screwed-up, fundamentalist country!  Like the United States!

*rimshot*

JANE: As many of you know, I did not grow up with the same privileges that all of you enjoy.

Jesus.

JANE: I was born on proto-Earth, that half-finished dystopia mangled by the ravages of foolish leadership and endless war.

Jesus, she really IS a self-evident takedown of hypocritical entitled political figures.  With the bonuses having Jasprose explicitly ADDRESS said entitlement to make things even clearer cut.

JANE: And as for Gamzee, well, his upbringing was even worse. JANE: He was born to a violent and uncaring home, a lonely child with few natural gifts.

...Some natural gifts and status.

> (==>)

She’s just, shaking with fury here isn’t she?  And about to perform an impressive corpse-lob.

JANE: It would be simple to let this disgusting, vile, SHAMEFUL act of spiteful revenge turn us away from the blinding light of the sword of justice that hangs over us all--

This sentence seems suspicious so I’m quoting it to refer to later if I need to, but is probably just platitudes.

> (==>)

JANE: Poised

> (==>)

JANE: Trembling

Okay maybe the sword’s a dick, but what exactly is Yiffany doing??  I’m finding it difficult as usual to tell between some of these image transitions.

> (==>)

JANE: Ready to burst forth--

Bad PR to shock-collar a kid mid press junket.  (Very dicks description.)

> (==>)

Click.  (Did they swap the shock function with Jane’s necklace somehow, that’d be fun.)

JANE: I want to give up, at times. I understand your pain.

While shocking a kid?  GREAT PR.

> (==>)

JANE: I sympathize with your pain.

Wow, those horrified audience members.  She REALLY can’t even see herself anymore can she?  Not even hear herself.  And they’re making sure this is pointed out to EVERYONE watching.  They described this as in large part a PR campaign to defeat her, didn’t they?

> (==>)

Great furious businesswoman-villain look, that art.

JANE: But when that pain! Becomes too hard! To endure! JANE: Remember poor, lifeless Gamzee! Who suffered pain far worse than any of us could ever fathom! JANE: THE PAIN OF BETRAYAL!

Click click click.  This is a fun sequence.

> (==>)

DIRK: Dude, didn’t you lower the voltage on that shock collar? DIRK: Little Red isn’t looking so hot. JAKE: Yes of course i did but the damn doohickys got the kick of a donkey! JAKE: I couldnt remove it completely shed know i was the one who did it! DIRK: Well, if that supervillain cuntwaffle doesn’t stop, she’s going to kill her. Not really the best at hostage management, is she.

Decent plan.  (And of course Dirk would pull out the word cunt.)  When’s the cavalry coming?

> (==>)

JANE: But we cannot allow his memory to be in vain! JANE: For Gamzee Makara taught us that even the most loathsome degenerate can take their place in society. JANE: All they need is the right redemption arc - !

Trying to hammer home some of the Epilogue’s trolly-critical themes a little less bleakly, I take it.

I kind of like the violent vibration in ALL of these gifs in a row.  It makes the scene seem small, slow, teeth-clenching but still full of steady action, emphasizing the importance of the relatively small events from panel to panel while giving them the sense with the animation of them being [i]drawn out[/i] and tortuous instead of just “occurring”.  It feels that way to me, anyway.

> (==>)

If he got up alive here, that’d be hilarious.  (Presumably he’s been treated and done-up like a normal funeral body, not “dormant” and undecaying like a dead god-tier.)

> (==>)

CORPSE PUNT w/ CLEATS

> (==>)

That face is just.  I love that face.

> (==>)

SHE MAD

JANE: Young lady, I am just about at the end of my rope with you. JANE: Throw all the dog bowls you want at the walls of my warship. JANE: But don’t you dare act up in front of a JANE: Live JANE: Fucking JANE: Newsfeed! YIFFY: Grrrrrr

What did you expect to happen?  Do you expect to shout her down from this, Jane?

JANE: After everything I’ve done for you--paying for your education, helping your parents cover up your existence from the world! JANE: Just imagine what Rose and Jade would say if they could see you now, even dissidents can have a little decorum! JANE: Get down from there at once! YIFFY: Grrrrrr

But this is GAMZEE.  --I guess it’s seriously disrespectful to his followers, though.  Still.  If you wanted civility from her, a shock collar, leash, and food bowl wasn’t the way to go about it.

JANE: Don’t you threaten me, young lady. Not today! YIFFY: GRRRRRRRRR

What is your PLAN even, Jane?  You’ve completely disregarded her.

JANE: There’s nowhere for you to go. My agents are swarming this church. Be reasonable, Yiffany. JANE: Ugh. JANE: Disgusting name. JANE: But that’s hardly your fault. You were always just a footnote. Your parents’ little prank. JANE: Honestly, that’s why I helped them all those years ago! I do love a good jape. JANE: But let’s be serious. JANE: You don’t matter. If you did, they would have come for you already.

Can all the press hear her being such an asshole?

Okay, stereotypically, their arrival should be the next couple panels:

> (==>)

Jake, do something useful like hoping harder.

> (==>)

And she knocks the remote away.  Excellent.

And she does. Seemingly at the end of her tolerance for insults toward her name, social status, and heritage, Yiffy performs an impressive backflip off the podium and down onto the church floor. One that, if it hadn’t been happening amidst a sea of other newsworthy events, would surely have ended up on someone’s instagram story within thirty seconds. She gives Gamzee’s corpse one last parting kick: a hard, proper kick that proves those cleats aren’t just for fashion. Although they are certainly also for fashion.

Good, good.

He vanishes into the seething crowd, and we are confident that we will never have to deal with this asshole ever again.

God damnit.

> (==>)

Jake watches this from a safe distance, poised on the edge of intervening to pull Yiffy out of there. But in the end he doesn’t have to. Instead he watches in admiration as she tears the place to utter shreds. An echoing sympathy swells inside of him as she rends apart the funeral flowers and punts Gamzee into the shrieking congregation. Here is a girl who felt the cold, indecent hand of fate wrapping around her, and instead of submitting to it and slowly sublimating down into morasse of boiled doormat, she slapped it away from her with a lively oh, no thank you.

All at once, Jake feels immense affection for his granddaughter. He hopes the two of them can make up for lost time.

Lessons belatedly learned, but learned nonetheless.

> (==>)

JANE: Enough of this. JANE: Seize her!

Kind of Red Queen of you.  (Are those stained glass windows in back of the frame about to burst?)

> (==>)

Yep.

The stained glass window shatters inward, obliterated to stardust. The war is knocking.

Even attacking a disgusting faith’s church is pretty bad form, though.

Tired and busy, seeya next upd8.  <3

[morepopcornplease]

Can you please talk about the Catholic understanding of the "single" vocation? I'm ace and not drawn to religious life so I thought that's where I was heading, but lately I've been hearing it's not a "real" vocation, just a "transition" state

Not only would I argue that the single vocation exists, I’d argue it’s sorely needed today.

Actually you know what? I would argue there’s more evidence of the single lay vocation than a marital vocation within Church tradition, especially in the early Church days.

What do I mean by that?

*cracks knuckles* PREPARE YOURSELF.

(also sorry this wasn’t responded to earlier. people who ask me side b  or faith questions should know that it takes me literal weeks to respond)

So, back in the founding days of the Church, there was ONE vocation: Priesthood. Not religious orders. Certainly not matrimony. Just: priesthood. See, the word vocation stems from the Latin “vocare” / “to call,” specifically referring to how Jesus “called” the apostles. Either men answered God’s call to the priesthood, or they did not.

Now, for marriage— in his first letter to the Corinthians, St Paul writes this:

“If you marry, however, you do not sin, nor does an unmarried woman sin if she marries; but such people will experience affliction in their earthly life, and I would like to spare you that. I tell you, brothers, the time is running out. From now on, let those having wives act as not having them…”

St Paul basically says here: “I mean, I ~guess~ getting married isn’t sinning, so it’s fine. It’s fine! It’s Fine.”

And really, Paul, what kind of half-assed encouragement to your married folk is this?!

He basically says things like: “listen up you horny kiddos, if you’re too damn horny, then go ahead! Get married! (See if I care!!) But if you’re like me *cough cough* then you WON’T!!”

Incidentally, I will absolutely be using this as the basis for my Best Woman speech at my sister’s wedding…

I think Paul goes overboard here, but in a sense he had to. In a time where followers of Christ were convincing fellow Jews that Jesus was indeed the promised Messiah, they had an important differentiation (and I don’t mean just circumcision).

Rather, the early Christians was pushing to make disciples of all nations, not through birth (again, the Messiah had already come! The sign given to Ahaz [Isaiah 7:10-16] has already been fulfilled!!) but through baptism of the spirit. We are to become a new kind of community, according to Jesus.

Going back to the Gospels: “Jesus replied, ‘Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?’ And pointing to his disciples, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.’” (Matt 12:48-50, Luke 8:21)

Again, we get a sense that Jesus is establishing a new type of community to be His Church, a new definition of family. The kind of bond formed not by the water of the womb, but the blood of the new covenant. I mean, there’s a reason almost all of the epistles of the New Testament begin and end with addressing the faithful as “Brothers and Sisters,” a practice the Catholic priests keep today in their homilies.

Ok, so there’s a new kind of family. That doesn’t establish a “single vocation” any more than it disassembles a “married vocation.”

Well, let’s pull up the Early Patricians, shall we?

Here’s St Jerome on the subject in 393 AD in his treatise Against Jovinianus: “but while we honor marriage we prefer virginity which is the offspring of marriage. Will silver cease to be silver, if gold is more precious than silver?”

And St Jerome again, when facing controversy: “Someone may say: ‘And do you dare disparage marriage, which is blessed by the Lord?’ It is not disparaging marriage when virginity is preferred to it. No one compares evil with good. Let married women glory too, since they come second to virgins.”

St Augustine, also countering Jovinianus: "Marriage and fornication are not two evils, whereof the second is worse: but marriage and continence are two goods, whereof the second is better.”

In fact, marriage was not considered a sacrament until 1184, at the Council of Verona. That’s less than half a Church History ago!!

Notice, too, how these saints are not saying “religious life.” They are not saying “priesthood.” There is no mention of deaconship or stewardship that would imply religious orders and the vows accompanying them. And St Augustine’s use of the word “continence” dissolves the idea that this is just a fetishization of women’s virginity, inapplicable to men.

They are talking about those who choose continence. And while that includes religious orders, it was not limited to priests, deacons, etc. In fact, the obligation of clerical celibacy wasn’t made canon until The Second Lateral Council in 1139; where marriages with religious men had previously been regarded as “illicit but still valid,” now marriages with religious men was now, canonically, completely invalid.

Logically then, they must be talking about the vocation to single, celibate life.

In the Catholic Church, we have untold numbers of early Church saints who are noted as “virgin martyrs.” Think about that. What is that actually saying? That just by virtue of not getting married, out of devotion to Christ, you deserve to be recognized as a saint? No sacrament of holy orders required?

Actually, yes. Saying NO to a husband for Christ is enough for sanctification.

And I don’t think we realize how outstanding that is when we talk about the Single Vocation.

To wrap this up, I would like to posit my own theory about how virginity and marriage actually complement one another (and to some extent, religious orders as well)

In those days (and tbh throughout history) marriage was a financial decision. Money exchanged hands. The bride was “bought.”

And only 300 years before Jesus arrived, Aristotle argued that the best kind of love was between friends. Since marriage was a love of “utility” and “pleasure,” it could not possibly reach the love of friends; it was better to be unmarried. 

(it’s also good to remember that Aristotle lived in the hellenistic culture, featuring plenty of pedophilia and ephebophilia. Aka, rape. So it’s good to remember that when he says “remain unmarried” he doesn’t really mean “stay celibate.” Several yikes.)

This is the Gentile worldview Jesus enters. And He establishes marriage as a good—and how could marriage be anything else, when He refers to Himself as a Bridegroom, and His bride the Church? “You are not your own; you were bought with a price.” 1Cor 6:19-20.

But then He says this: "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13)

Jesus didn’t elevate the good of friendship up to the status of marriage.

He elevated the relationship between husband and wife to the status of friendship.

Nowadays, while there is no money exchanging hands during a ceremony (well, except for the reception and honeymoon), I’d argue a new type of currency is being exchanged, within the Christian churches themselves.

It is the currency of sanctified sex. Pleasure with the stamp of God’s Approval. The ability to have sex without feeling guilty about it, or have your priest make you feel guilty about it, or having your conscience beat yourself silly about it.

Once again, spouses fall prey to treating each other as objects to satisfy their sexual desires, as well as every other desire.

And single vocations are the answer to that.

Marriage cannot be a good if it is reduced to “sanctified sex.” It is degrading to the sacrament and to the people within that union.

Religious Orders cannot be good if celibacy is treated as the ultimate punishment—that attitude leads to pitiful sexual entitlement by the members of those same religious orders.

It’s only if you have a true, Church-defended, celebrated, joyful, viable Vocation of Singleness that the fruit of the other two’s vocations—their real fruit of the gift of the sacraments and of new life—come into view, crystal clear and glorious.

And that is why the Single Vocation is not only a real vocation—it’s sorely needed today.