#I get to drive my dads car today!
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Hmmmm, gyatt
How about that pricks face when he saw the gat?
Hmmmm, gyatt
Gyatt, gyatt, gyatt
And I - Gyatt aye, gyatt
Gyatt, gyatt, gyatt, gyatt
Gyatt
They say I'm the shit just like
Aye
They say I'm the shit just like
Gyatt, gyatt, gyatt
They say I'm the shit just like skibidi
From Ohio, so you can't be rizzing me
All of these gyatts are you kidding me?
All of these gyatts they are killing me
[Verse 1: Yego]
Gyatt, gyatt
She gave me head on the toilet call it skibidi
Bitch, open up your mouth, lemme take a pee
She said she only listen to Brazilian Phonk
Im rizzing up all these gyatts like I'm Baby Gronk (Rizz)
You know I keep it lemon, like 24/7
I run up on your block and send your boy straight to heaven
You know I'm typing gyatt in the chat for Kai Cenat
And when I hit it from the back all i do is yell 'Gyatt'
[Chorus: Big Skibidi]
They say I'm the shit just like skibidi
From Ohio, so you can't be rizzing me
All of these gyatts are you kidding me?
All of these gyatts they are killing me
[Verse 2: Big Skibidi]
And I'll steal your virginity, just like Fanum Tax
Don't watch Kai Cenat
Cause I hate all the blacks
Instead I stay at home watching Sneako
When I see a gyatt, I go beast mode
And my age is 32, but i still edge to kids (What?)
Fucked Yego's sister cause I got W rizz (Huh?)
And I'm from Ohio, but I still fucked your bitch
And I'm from Ohio, but I still - aye aye aye
This goes out to my biggest opp @yxami and my son @yxamilover420 and my bitch @tattytoa and my baby girl @wrintur and my son-inlaw😒(opp) @sweetheartmotives and the best writer @heartfullofleeches and
I don't feel like reading all that, but that's a lot of shout outs
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blessings roll call! add on in the tags if you so wish <3
#new (to me) car! huge answer to prayer!#was lowkey so stressed about car issues I was actively losing sleep over it.#having a reliable comfy and relatively cheap car now is such a blessing#dad very generously emptied his CDs out of the cool 30-yr-old compact holder I've been coveting for years and gave it to me#so now I get to party like it's 2007 driving around with my CDs expertly contained and catalogued#got accepted into the OTA program I was applying for all through the summer!#so gotta set up classes for that#more good school news is I've already done all the the co-reqs for next semester's OTA classes#meaning I only have 2 classes + choir which I'll do for fun and thus can work more hours and also have time for an actual life#looking forward to a more restful semester#time with family and friends has been so precious lately#even though it's been scarce it's been lovely and joyful when it happens#looking forward to the holidays actually for the first time in years!#usually they're dreaded because of family drama but I think I can manage to find joy anyway#and also choose to spend less time or no time in or around the drama#looking forward to break. three more weeks of classes and then freedom for five glorious weeks.#looking forward to Advent especially!#also made soup today and it's so good#thankful for a good job and for getting along with my coworkers#and immensely thankful for books especially audiobooks without which I would not have survived this year#and for the Gospel of John. it's holding me together rn. struggling through some faith questions and some anger towards God#the last few months#but as long as I can stay in scripture...it still seems worth it.#blessings
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i just parallel parked (success on first attempt) (multiple ppl watching me on the streets) someone buy me a drinkkkk
#rooftop bar with friends today. yay! also 1 hr away from my apartment so i drove and spent 10 minutes lurking for parking#beautiful tumblr mutuals i will drive you around and i will parallel park us and i will put my hand on the passenger side seat while doing#it all you have to do is buy me a IPA afterwards. (just one) (i will also get you home safely)#(<- girl who made her dad switch seats with her so he could parallel park her car just last week)
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not me popping back on here with a post after months of semi-inactivity (uni is being a bitch) just to reiterate how much i love writing the pahkitew island cast.
aside from sammy and amy (obviously), literally everyone else can be shipped with one another and it'd make sense to some degree, like it takes skill to create a group of people so inherently shippable (platonically and/or romantically) and ofc the writers didn't know it they just shoved a bunch of random ppl together and dusted their hands off on it but fr tho 😭
(yeah im planning out my leonave 'stranger things inspired' au, and the gears are turning, and i forgot just how much i love writing for this dumbass group)
(i swear im working on the next chapter of a guide to surviving the apocalypse too)
#no but i've way too many ideas lmaoo#i forgot ive a whole longass post in my drafts dedicated to ramblings abt this longfic and i came across it today ahaha#like amy leading a manhunt for leonard bc shes got everyone to think he killed her sister (who she didn't even like much smh)#and topher's one of the ppl involved and when shawn hears he's like “topher? yeah i can handle him dw” (possible tophawn minor pairing??)#and leonard's abt to get the equivalent of being burnt at the stake literally#when guess who shows up in a fucking mercedes of all cars#fucking dave#and he helps leonard escape narrowly by driving fast af and leonard's so confused bc like “i thought you'd be with those guys”#and get this: dave doesnt believe leonard killed sammy bc of his vehement belief that leonard doesn't know magic LMAOOO#and leonard doesnt know whether to be affronted or grudgingly thankful bc if it wasn't for dave's desire for everything to be normal#leonard would have been part of the witch trials 2.0#and idk who's watched st but the plot is somewhat inspired by it#like shawn goes missing first and dave as his best friend is panicking abt it (in this one axel is shawns cousin???)#and then when they find him at last the weird deaths start leading to leonard finding sammy dead and this whole situation#and theres a whole different world underneath them and its up to leonard dave ella and sky to team up and prevent certain destruction#and theres slowburn leonave (with pining leonard and oblivious dave)#and leonard lives with his uncle whos understanding of his passions (unlike his dad who basically gave him away for the same reason)#and leonard's life is total opppsite from dave's#and they both know it#and omgggg this au has been a brainrot for so goddamn long#but idk why i just got a slew of ideas for it today#and like dave stays over at leonards at one point and leonard gives him his bed (like a gentleman)#and the next morning shawn barges in like “wheres my best friend” bc ever since he was taken he's been v paranoid abt losing the ppl he lov#and he hugs dave and daves like “how dirty are you rn” and shawns like “nothing yet i waited so that i can hug you when i see your dumb ass#and everyones like abt dave to leonard “idk if he's the right one for you”#but then later on dave saves his life by going a little bit unhinged classic dave-style#and ends up scaring a nurse and receptionist into retiring early#total drama#td leonard#td dave
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~ ~ ~
#my dad is starting shit with me again and just continuing fights and bringing up shit that has nothing to do with anything#and even when I try to calm the situation he just gets worse and keeps berating me#I want to get out of the house but my partner hasn’t talked to me all day or even checked our message chat#so I don’t want to bother them or just show up without them saying it’s ok#not that they’d have much problem with it probably but if they don’t acknowledge it I don’t want to startle them or something#and idk what if they are mad at me and that’s why they haven’t talked to me today? or if they’re having a bad day too?#they’re not gonna want to deal with my bullshit if they’re not having a good day either#so that’s another problem to contend with#and I’m also really tired and fatigued already because of some recent health issues and just packing my go bag is wearing me out a bit#I don’t really want to pack up the whole car and drive an hour to their house after midnight when I’m already not doing great#so I know I should just stay in my room and get some distance or do my own thing until I fall asleep#but God I just don’t want to be here anymore#tbh I do kinda wanna be dead and I wish I could do something about that#idk if I’m fully suicidal or anything but it’s like… I want to make my dad see how much he needs me and I want to get a fucking break#I want someone to take care of me and worry about me for once instead of giving up everything to him#I wish I killed my self at 16 like I wanted to so I wouldn’t have ever had to deal with any of this bullshit#I sort of wish I could kill myself now just to be done with all of this#but suicide takes too much planning and hassle these days so what’s the point anyway#I guess I’m just depressed and lonely and all that#I’m sure I’ll be fine in the morning#but right now I just really wish I had someone to talk to and cry on and tell me it’ll all get better soon#personal
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I’m reminded of that post about how goths and people who wear only lots of pink are actually the same because “wearing only one color” is a specific choice in opposition to just looking Normal
I’m flying to a friend’s wedding today, and I recently acquired from my neighborhood free page a very pretty vintage suitcase in like a brocade upholstery texture in all of my good colors, so of course I needed a coordinated airport outfit à la Midge Maisel. You guys don’t know me, but I usually dress very put together, in what my sister calls Outfits, with a capital O to distinguish it from just wearing clothes. And since getting a full time job I’ve been slowly adding to my collection of vintage and 50’s-vibes clothes, because I just really like that aesthetic (my bridesmaid dress for the wedding is a vintage tea dress I got from Etsy. The fabric is in great condition but I had to reinforce pretty much every seam with my sewing machine, because the structural integrity of the original thread was breaking down, so that was an interesting learning experience).
All of which is to say that I Dressed Up for the airport in a vintage-y outfit that coordinates perfectly with some of the colors of my suitcase, and my hair is curled, and I have a vintage leather purse that my grandma gave me that matches her watch that I’m wearing and the shoes she bought me last summer at the same vintage store that my skirt came from, and a teenage-ish girl with whatever you call the 2023 teenage equivalent of emo/punk vibes, like the dark maroon mullet and not a lot of makeup and dark comfy clothes but like, very on purpose, told me I look cool when I walked past on the way to security
And like, she Gets It! We have different fashion goals but I think we put a similar degree of intention into the way we look compared to just wearing regular clothes. Which is cool! It’s validating. Not that I really need validation, but it’s always nice to get compliments, of course. And the way I dress is really not terribly distinctive most of the time, other than being Outfits and a little dressier than maybe the norm is, like I think most people who see me one time in passing would see that I look Nice but not necessarily see it as a cultivated Look. But punk mullet girl gets it.
#struggled with not sounding *too* pretentious here#I don’t feel pretentious but I have a hard time talking about like. specific choices and things in any detail#like to my friends I just said what happened with a picture of my outfit and was like ‘and she gets it!’ and they were like ‘yeah!���#but to strangers I have to go into much more detail to get the point across#even though really it’s not like I’m putting all of that into it every day I just get up and go ‘i want to look nice today’#in accordance with my personal fashion preferences#and then having to explain those preferences like ‘my name is alagaisia midge maisel darkness way and I’m wearing vintage whatever’#i do look so cute though#i got these shoes last summer and then lost the heel cap off of one of them the very first time i wore them#finally took them in to have them fixed last week so I could wear them to the wedding#needed a deadline so that I would actually get around to it#i hate flying it’s really a testament of how much I love my friend that I’m flying#instead of driving ten hours to Nebraska#but it made more sense and to make sure i won’t be late or run into car trouble or anything#and I’ll stay looking nice right away instead of getting gross and sweaty in the car or having to change for bachelorette activities#i only know the bride so I’m definitely going to make a very specific impression on all of these strangers lol#i joked with my dad about adopting a trans Atlantic accent for the whole weekend just for shits and giggles#turns out you cannot do it over the top. have you ever listened to JFK’s ‘we choose to go to the moon’ speech#it’s very silly sounding#we had a good time saying things one might say at a bachelorette party in a goofy voice#‘we cho~ose to ohdah thihs maiule strippah… ahnd the othah things.. nawt becahse it is easyh..#but becawhse he is hahd’#highly recommend#mine#personal
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i uh. scratched my car pretty bad lol
#liveblogging life#the parking lot for my new apartment has a VERY narrow entrance#and uh turning into it is a little tricky???? idk why since i managed it fine so far#but today i think i turned a LITTLE too closely and ended sliding along the pole right by the entrance#and now i've got these long scratches down my back right door whoops#like. they're pretty noticable.#no damage and i didn't dent anything i think???#so im like. well i wasn't planning to resell the car anyway so i honestly dont really care that much#but on the other hand it's kind of embarrassing to have evidence of my shitty driving on display like that lol#and my dad's going to be soooo upset about it way more than i am lmao#i dont really want to spend a ton of money getting it fixed but they're definitely deep enough they'll need a repaint#i ordered some paint touch up & maybe i can just like... sort of help it so it's not quick immediately obvious???#idk man it's a bummer but im also kind of like /shrug about it too you know? im more surprised it took me this long to ding it lmao#actually i think i might have dented my car a lil bit bc the bottom right panel is like. slightly loose now#idk idk i dont really have the money to spare to get it fixed if it's going to be expensive so im kind of handwaving it right now tbh
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My mother confuses the fuck out of me
#i guess she's getting severance checks from her old job?#i mean fuck that's the least they could do after she worked there for 40 years#she only gets 900 a month from my dad's SSI survivor benefits#she went from saying we're struggling financially to suddenly offering to pay for shit i need#that kinda scares me because i think that means she's impulsively spending her savings. which could mean she thinks she's gonna die soon#she's 64 and my dad died at almost 63#like she helped my sister buy my niece a car. it's a 24 year old vehicle and only costed 4k and she paid 2k but 2k is a LOT to us#she said she's been saving my rent money to fix my car for the past couple of months on top of me saving for it#which means we definitely have the money to fix everything by now#but that's not happening all my tires still need to be replaced my ac doesn't work it's making clinking sounds#it stalled while i was driving the other day but turning it off and restarting it fixes it#anyway. the thing is I'm always sus about my mom offering shit.#she likes to hold shit over your head.#I'm very worried that she's gonna fix my car and then use that to control me in some way. because that's how it is every time.#but like.....it's better than not having the help. fuck.#i feel so privileged despite how broke and disabled i am. bc most disabled people dont have this to fall back on#the craziest thing is that the only reason we have this house is bc of my grandparents' inheritance#and neither of them went to college my grandpa was in the army#and my grandma only temporarily worked for jc penney as a bookkeeper#side note my 80 year old grandma was better with computers than most elderly people are today#just from that job? from what i know#when she died my family sold the family house and that's how we put the down payment on this house#which btw only costed 64k in 2012 apparently it's worth 175k now according to zillow#but like. how. i feel like my family being white and christian is the only reason we have all this privilege#i have a headache bye#.bdo
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The Fool :)
MOTH and PERRY and their 2003 SUBARU OUTBACK
[moth and compass is a collaboration with @natdrinkstea!]
#em draws stuff#oc time again hehe#moth and compass#the fool: moth worley#this ask was from an ask game about ocs by archetype which I am only getting around to uhhhhh a month later#and there really was not anyone else to choose for this one but moth! it's literally even their tag-organizing epithet!#the main difference between me and moth is that moth can drive and I cannot (which is something of a shame since I love Trip In Car)#lyrics are from 'i own a car' by ninja sex party altho' I spent the entire drawing session listening to carly rae jepsen :)#been having a lot of fun with photocollage lately - someday I will learn to draw this my favorite car in the world but Not Today!#more carposting soon (she has Lore)#this one is that rare picture that I've shown to my parents and well we are back to Not doing that again!#mom is losing her eyesight so I will forgive her for asking 'is that santa' and also she did have nice things to say after I explained more#but dear old dad refuses to stop saying that that isn't a cat but a chinchilla - thus he has lost knowing-what-his-son-is-drawing privilege#go back to drawing gnomes pops
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One of my fave jackets is this green jacket with a fur hood im wearin rn because 1.) its green 2.) my dad gave it to me 3.) it reminds me of saejima. Who also reminds me of my dad
#snap chats#p sure i talked bout this jacket before but idc read my diary#sorry that every other middle aged man i see i say reminds me of my dad its a compliment#tbh love how i clowned on ichi for being on premium copium bout arakawa but highkey i woulda done the same bout my dad.. i get it ichi..#anyway :) i legally get to talk about my day with him now :)) HE SAID THE FUNNIEST SHIT UPON SEEING ME#HE SAID ‘oh wow we dress similar :)’ and keep in mind. he was wearing a latte brown coat with a black turtleneck and pants and shoes#meanwhile. i approach With Black Pants And Shoes Admittedly but then im in this goofy old ass jacket with a red scarf#and a crane-decorated dress shirt that i got two buttons undone on like DAAD you are senile. hes so funny#so fun my dad actually recognized this was the jacket he got me- it was one of the first things he bought for me after i told My Secret 🙈#also i finally asked how tall he was and i can’t believe my dad matches the criteria to be an rgg character he’s fuckin 6’1 like i thought#AH but today was really nice- i got to hang with my sis and her husband as well as my dad’s wife :)#it was awful tho cause the second my sis saw my dad’s outfit she’s just like ‘it’s so kdramacore’ AND SHES RIIIGHT 😭😭#we later found out dad’s wife loves kpop…. and she bought him his new clothes…. so we are no longer surprised….. AWFUL.#honestly i could write a drama based off my dad’s life i really could it has elements for it. i mean ig i kinda do that already dont i#i borrow. anyways. today was fun :) even if i almost lost my mind trying to take the train the first time#this train system was weird… it wa worth tho it was great seein popop again#yeah….. ugh i have to still drive home from the station. and hope my car is still there#i get very paranoid leaving my car alone so openly i dont like it…#anyways. bye bye :) i might nap til my stop or work on a fic i started#‘snap what happened to’ dont worry about it i need to look at something else or ill scream#ok bye 👋
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Facing my fear of movie theaters by going to the first showing of the day sgdggdgd
I think I'll be the only person there which would be awesome tbh
AND I dont have to break my streak of having seen every hunger games movie in theaters :D I'm excited man
#marquilla#first one i saw with my friend from middle school and her weird ass family sgdgdgdggd second and third was with my ms/hs best friend who#also loved the books (we would have 'arguments' over what character was the best cough cough finnick cough cough which drove my dad insane#listening to every single time we would pick her up to come over (40 min drive one way atgagagsg)#and the last one i saw with my first boyfriend who really didnt have any thoughts one way or the other ab the books but he DID think gale#was better than peeta which lead to an 'argument' in the parking lot while we were looking for his moms car sgdgdggdgd we both#agreed that finnick was better though sgdggdg#and by arguments i mean they were those goofy 'my fav is better than YOURS' debates you have with friends that are always in good fun#now this time im going alone bc i really wanna see it and mom didnt read the book yet/isnt really interested (more like eh ill get you the#dvd when it comes out and we can watch it) this is my first time going by myself though which is kinda exciting sgdgd#did you know you can order food ahead of time and have it delivered to your seat?? thats wild to me#id feel so awkward doing that especially since it's probably just gonna be me today shhdhdhdhd
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1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!
2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr
3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!
overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!
#aritalks#i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use#not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before#and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk#but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day!#the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow#also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years#(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years#and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk)#was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!!#i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight#so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday#my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work#my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all#over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins)#but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered#(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting#when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so#just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my#mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19)#so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her#and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too#i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure#out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still#dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not#the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one#if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it#but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help#and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks#just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️
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discovered miah_pie on t*ktok (<- i don’t have one btw i just stumbled upon her bc someone i follow on ig talked abt her) and her videos make me want to cry so bad. 24 year old dependent moment
#purrs#i went to a clothing store today to try to get new work shoes and pants bc the one pair i have of each literally have holes in them and are#falling the fuck apart on my body and it was a HORRIBLE experience largely bc i think everybody in town was out shopping for back to school#so it was super crowded and there were lots of screaming kids and it was extremely stressful + my dad got into a mini car accident while i w#was in the store (he was / is completely fine thankfully but the car is not which is so awesome 😍😍😍😍😍) and i was just so stressed and#overstimulated but also like… nothing fits me bc im so short lol. but anyway it was so horrible i was on the verge of starting to cry in the#store and then i came home empty handed and my mom got super pissed at me for… needing to go to the store / being the reason we were out lol#and then finding miah pie and her videos are all about making trips to the store SO much fun and buying little treats and saying yessir and#OHHHHHH MYYYYY and just finding the joy in smth that can be so stressful and unpleasant… it makes me want to cry happy and sad tears at the#same time like i want that soooo bad and i can’t do it fully yet but i want it. need it. fuck my stupid baka life#anyways im gonna start saying the stuff she says just to make myself feel better even when im not at a store. yessir! OHHHHHH MYYYYYY.#acquired. don’t mind if i diddly dooooo!#also btw i am not a dependent except for the ways i am a dependent. hope that helps 🫶🏻#the problem is really that i don’t have a car or a license and also that my mom throws a fit every time i need / want to get driving#practice bc it’s never a good time so. lol 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 me doing drivers ed this summer was a fucking joke i forget literally everything i#learned and have only been behind the wheel 3 times and none of them have actually counted bc im just developing basic motor skills#(literally). fmlllll im never getting out of here who am i kidding 🤪#delete later
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The thing about me is I'll say shit like "yeah I'm autistic but it doesn't affect my daily life THAT much" then proceed to have my first verbal shutdown in over 7 years
#mel's musings#almost got into a wreck today while driving bc my dad told me to change lanes when there was a car in my way#which could have been avoided had he told me sooner that we were going a different route than what the gps was saying#he admitted it was his mistake. but it shook me up pretty bad#and of course he had no idea how to respond to my shutdown. other than pull over and get me out of the driver's seat obviously#it didn't last long thankfully. we were on our way home#but boy howdy did it remind me of how autistic i really am. you know. in case i forgot
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THE TECH INTERACTIVE
#someone should take the sharkuda to the tech interactive!! the top floor exploded my brain and it would definitely explode their brains too#my parents and i were originally going to go to the sharks game but i got miserly and waited too long to get tickets and also. do you know#hard it is to get a set of *three* tickets together. impossible for less than $80 apparently!! the drive down was also very stressful#because we were trying to get lunch on the way down the peninsula and my dad thought my mom only wanted in n out but the two drive throughs#we tried had like twenty cars lined up and my dad lost his temper in the parking lot and my mom said it didn't HAVE to be in n out so my da#peeled outta there and we went to his favorite taqueria in the area which had a HUGE salsa and side bar (for free! i squirreled away two#whole limes) and their carne asada super burrito settled everyone down :))#by the time we got to san jose the puck had already dropped so decided to pivot and check out the tech interactive since my mom and i hadn'#had time the last time we were here in the summer and oh my GOB THEIR HUMAN BODY EXHIBIT IS. WOW. it was a lovely time walking around#looking very closely at very realistic models of human organs :3 and oh! my mom and i made a bacteria plate together :3 and my dad and i#made a robot with a spinning fish and flashing lights on it :3 and i fell asleep most of the way into the serengeti film in the imax dome :#and then we went to the 99 ranch where the dungeness crab was THREE NINETY NINE. and my mom got some big napa cabbages and one little one#for me :3 and oh then the guy ahead of us in the checkout gave me his $1 coupon for the bakery :3#and that's what i did today!!#sor.txt
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#bleh. dont burn yourself out kids#everything ive been a part of for the last 4 years in this lab has to b published eventually#and i just had my 1st paper published. probably the most interesting thing i worked on and how do i feel abt this? i dont feel anything#but bitterness. every congratulations i hear i just wanna say fuck off. dont encourage this. do u kno what i did to make that data exist#as u see it? i mangled something within myself beyond repair. enjoy the information if u want but i wont#all i see is a symptom of an illness im doing nothing to treat#everything i did in this lab will be seeped in anger and pain#it has to change. i wont let it be the same in my next lab. no more fucking timed experiments#i cannot b trusted to b normal abt them#ugh. i just feel bad bc i finished my measurements for the week and i have a 2 day lul until i leave on vacation#and i kno i have to get 3 heavy instruments to fedex tomorrow bc i didnt do it today#sigh. i csnt focus. i spent so much time today tryint to remember what im supposed to b doing. then i made myself mad writing out the#hypnoses for an experiment i didnt fuckinf design and i dont care abt. like y did we do this? idk i just fucking do what u tell me#maybe ill go run again. i dont wanna do anything#my dad yesterday: ready for vacation? me: yea 😭😭😭😭😭#just gotta not crash my car on the drive to the airport bc i have to drive myself there 🙃#unrelated#i hope the instrument manufacturers appreciate the unicorn tape i got specificly for shipping those things#bc how could i not when given the option?
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