#I get a cake for others and no one cares | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dreamyberry · 2 years ago

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/ 18.4.23

#don’t really understand why I have to live #I am in the prime of my life and I cry every other day bc I have to live #what am I here for? to not make my parents feel bad? I don’t even feel like posting art on instagram anymore because of shame #don’t want that former school etc people see how bad I am doing #if I could just jump into the void #say bye to one friend or two and everybody else can read my diaries in broken Swedish or German if they find it #I hate everything #my happiness after childhood just just as long as a spring #I can’t even talk with people bc I am. a broken record and sound like someone playing the victim #and people get tired of it even if they cared in the first place #had enough of spending my birthdays crying #and New Year’s Eve and Saturday nights #I get a cake for others and no one cares #great #I was about to have a breakdown today at work #I am constantly disappointed by myself and everything is too much #one day she was here and then she was gone like the wind #that’s what I think about myself when I bike home #I am simply too weak and slow for this world #it’s a game and you have to act like you are okay which is what I did through all my high school years with my parents #at the end of high school I went out twice with my class and a girl who liked me even tho I could just not fit in and came home late and #at last I could just say I went out at night with others #and all I’ve done these years was going back and forth to a country for one person and that was cool but it’s all I got #I only dream of not waking up and chocking and drowning and that the gas goes out and they find me dead #all this was supposed to improve my satisfaction with life and look at me! I’m more suicidal than ever even if I’m never gonna do it #I was having a tiring videocall with my boss and didn’t get something in Dutch and he switched and made me switch to English and #it truly shows how much of a failure I feel I’ll never be good enough

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jrueships · 3 months ago

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r u the grew up poor never being able to buy the little things in life u always wanted as a kid so now u buy whatever little thing u want as an adult and struggle with saving for the big mandatory thing,

or the grew up poor never being able to buy the little things in life u always wanted as a kid so now u just never buy anything small bcs u had to learn to live without it and constantly try to save for the next big thing in 500 yrs

#everyones been asking what i wanted for my bday and i always say nothing #like i hate the feeling of getting somebody smthing just to get them smthing like personally #it needs to come from the heart for me. if it's for smthing big like a bday #now like getting someone a coffee judt to get them one on a random day is dif bcs it's just smthin random on a random day i can understand #but idk like as a kid into adulthood the only bday my relatives / guardians have ever celebrated was my adopted brother's n my dad's #the dad bcs hes a hyperconservative dictator lol n the older adopted bro is cus hes got higher needs #so everybody gets more money taking care of him n stuff so u gotta act like u care abt him according to the guardians #but like i never even knew bdays were that big to people. like i mean i know OTHER PEOPLES bdays are big to them #i find ppl who rlly love their bdays to be rlly cute. like i dont think theyre selfish or make fun of em cus theyre judt having fun #n like u only get one x yr bday so have fun with it!!#but for ME? my bday was never anything special n i dont think it is now #everybody feels bad or smthing for me or for not getting me nothing today but it's like?? this is the norm??? im cool with it #ive been thinking abt other stuff like i just dont have time to think abt the pleasures rn. i have to double on the pain or smthing #like my friends always laugh abt how i dont drink coffee/tea or alcohol bcs u cant be in the medical field without a lil smn smn #& it's like idk ! i like ppl that do do that kinda stuff but like! i never grew up with that & it just feels odd to do it now kinda thing #idk im very cheap but also i will use the fact that im cheap on the small stuff to justify wanting to make a big purchase #i have a weird relationship with buying things for myself vs for others like 4 others i will buy watever u want bro #sugar papi ted #hey heres this idk insert raccoon bracelet bcs u like raccoons n love wearing bracelets so i thot of u n bought it #but if i buy smthing for me it has to have a dual purpose or smthing #i got to have a free dessert today n chose the churros over the tres leches cake slicr cus u can judt make the cake #but i dont own a deep fryer so i cant make churros n storebought churros just arent the same #like im just always idk comparing or needing to know the use of things yanno #if i do smthing. i have to see it thru. & it has to have multi purpose #i mean just look at my username jrue ships or jrue's hips like #im unwell when it comes to that #idk is anyone else like this #anyways yea this whole new thing of getting stuff on one day is hard for me like it just never matches up with my time #of course ill see stuff id like to have but like. ill just make myself forget it n by the time stuff like this rolls up it's like idk #i COULD get a new laptop but i got one that works just fine. i got an ipad on its last legs but can i still turn it on? alright

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cutter-kirby · 1 year ago

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haha wow they're wrapping things up nicely so far! what do you mean jay is staying in fionnaworld

#WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!?????#this makes no fucking sense and i will die mad about it #i get little destiny wanting to stay #and even jay from like a 'cool modern world' standpoint #but WHAT ABOUT HIS FUCKING FAMILY???????#you're really trying to make me believe he'd leave behind his four siblings???????#and IF finn's dead #(which i really hope he isn't. that's a whole other rant)#then jay left them with NO FAMILY. NOTHING.#this could have been easily fixed if they just showed the rest of the farmworld family come over #WHAT THE FUCK. this like ruins it for me #he left his family behind!!!!!!! no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also unrelated but why the hell was fern holding dj flame's hand #eh. that just doesn't work for me boys.#anyway whatever no one else will care about this it's FINE.#adventure time #fionna and cake #fionna and cake spoilers #jay mertens #AND if finn's alive then he lost his fucking son #and he'll never know what happened to him #that's fucked up

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hauntingjasper · 4 months ago

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We are all afraid of something...

I wonder what Prince Gumball's biggest fear would be?

There's an episode (Five short tables I think) where it shows that he's afraid of dying alone/his own mortality to some extent. I imagine that because he's long-lived and most likely has watched many people die before him, he's scared that there won't be anyone else by *his* side when it's his turn. There's no way of knowing when or how, he wouldn't be ready for it, so that's probably double scarier for him. He's an anxious fella

#tag rambling MMMMM MY FAVORITE #this made me think if Gumball is actually just long-lived or if he'd become something like the Mother Gum after enough centuries have passed #triple scary then because other than Neddy(Nelly?) he's the only gum humanoid in Ooo that we're aware of #so what if the deal with the Mother Gum is like... She releases this tiny gum things (or they're released by themselves) into the wild #and good luck baby you better survive if you want our species to continue existing 😄#He and Nelly survived but what if he dies before reaching a Mother Gum-state. and alone on top of that bc that must be a scary process #And if he dies then that means Nelly is alone. and probably would go through that alone too #I think he's also scared of not having anyone to take care of everything he left behind if he dies #and to reassure his people and loved ones that everything will be fine despite his absence #now I'm thinking about the way i portray him because I make it sound like he's “unworried” about his own life & wellbeing #he gets stabbed and he's just like “it's okay don't worry about it” BUT what if he does worry and like..#he knows it won't kill him so he doesn't panic but he might panic if he realizes that he got stabbed a little too close to a vital spot #but at the same time he won't if there's someone else with him because if he panics they'll panic and everyone panics #and he needs to be the bigger person at all times and and #does this make sense or am i just yapping #anyway I love you Gumball i just threw my English out the window to talk about your issues with death 🫶#fionna and cake #prince gumball

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darkfires · 10 months ago

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you guys just don't know how to write angst anymore. putting people who say they like "toxic yaoi" in my dni cause they have no idea how to actually write toxicity

#I feel like a lot of this toxic blah blah stuff is fancy internet lingo to avoid accusations that you just enjoy abusive dynamics #without actually developing them or doing anything interesting. like if you're gonna say you love toxicity and codependency #and then just make fluff and smut about it without actually taking the time to explore and deconstruct it #then you're romanticizing it. are you not?#especially when the pairing in question has had extremely negative (beyond the scope of basic enemies to lovers) encounters in canon #just because you're using cutesy tumblr.com lingo doesn't mean you're absolved of actual development #and I'm saying this as someone who really likes this kind of trope because it gives room for monumental character exploration #and as a victim of abuse myself. I'm not saying write an essay I'm just saying why hype up how toxic and shitty they are for each other #just to turn it into fluff/a meme. like the actual negative parts of the dynamic don't matter? I though you guys condemned romanticization.#it's genuinely fascinating how the internet will deem one pairing abusive and bad but another with the same dynamic is just toxic yaoi?#I'm not sure where the line is drawn but you can't have your cake and eat it too.#and if you're going to try tackling a dynamic that's heavily abusive (“toxic”) then you can at least try to #justify it in a way that isn't just 'um well funny fandom meme ☝️'#you just want to skip all the development and get straight to the gushy parts? fine. not saying you can't. I can't tell you what to do.#but it does massively cheapen the dynamic and make it seem like you don't actually care about the characters you just want to ship somethin #I HATE CANON X CANON!!#slash nobody here #decrees

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beanghostprincess · 1 year ago

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if i hear the vinsmoke name again i swear to fucking god i'll start world war iii against them

#I CAN'T STAND THEM #okay yonji is kind of funny and his voice does things to me but like #and they're power rangers which makes it really funny #and ichiji is like kind of cool?? cool hair #reiju is my goddess but when i talk about the vinsmokes i'm mostly referring to the men #i don't care about niji #honestly yeah just kill niji and judge i don't mind the others #still extremely angry at yonji and ichiji tho i hope they get hit by a fucking truck #and i don't say what kind of atrocities i want judge to go through bc then they report me or smth #black leg sanji #one piece #whole cake island #not tagging them individually bc that's too much effort

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emometalhead · 6 months ago

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#having a day full of mixed feelings #I suppose this is how life goes #I'm officially done with my Bachelor's degree as of today #obviously I'm proud of myself for the accomplishment and I was excited to be celebrated today #it was a long and difficult road and there were many times where I didn't think I'd live to see it through but I made it #I'm the first person in my family to get this degree and I was really looking forward to having today be my day #I had a really lovely morning and then things kind of waned #there were a few arguments. someone I spent the day with repeatedly made negative comments about something I care about #it felt awful. I know it was intended as more of a playful jab than anything but I directly asked for the comments to stop and they didn't #it especially hurt that it was a fandom thing and the person is so invested in their own fandoms yet they felt it fair to step on mine #even though I've never done that to them #then people kept talking over me and acted like I was wrong for trying to interject to finish my own sentences #also as I said in the last post I was deeply upset by how my family members spoke of my 12 year old cousin #she's just a kid and some of our close family members have such a nasty opinion of her. she's so young and she's had a rough few years #but it seems like no one except my brother and I are willing to give her any grace #I think everyone else has forgotten what it feels like to be a kid and feel as if the world is against you #on a more positive note. I had a decadent slice of chocolate cake. it was heavenly #unfortunately I was really too in my head to fully enjoy it #literally every day for 3 weeks I've been talking about the lunch I planned to have today #I knew exactly what meal and dessert I wanted from the restaurant. it's my absolute fave and isn't available at any other local restaurant #I was totally starving by time we got to the restaurant. we were out all morning and I ate a tiny breakfast in anticipation of this meal #when we got there we found out they removed what I planned to order from the menu. I was devastated.#I know it's stupid but like this was the one part of my day that I've had planned for MONTHS and I've been thinking about it for weeks #we had a 40 minute car ride where I mentioned my excitement for the food no less than 10 times so this crushed me #also I'm just really picky in general and typically restaurants only have one or two things I'm able to eat #I offered to just eat the dessert while everyone else ordered food because they were all really hungry too but they wouldn't allow it #we left the restaurant and I still feel horrible for walking out. if I had known the item was removed we wouldn't have even gone there #it happened so recently though and I feel dumb for not even thinking to check the menu online beforehand #so we went to another restaurant and I barely ate anything and now I have no appetite for dinner and I feel bad for ruining the afternoon #even though it's my day and my celebration and I feel like I'm entitled to a slight amount of unreasonableness

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inhumanfuckingdogman · 2 years ago

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If i had to pick (and lbr you do) between either roman or tomgreg being canonically gay and explored in the series id pick roman 100%. Tomgreg going canon would set gay rights back by like 40 years

#like its still a big tv show they can only have one gay person on it #succ #i think tomgreg will always be reaching new insane heights of whatever the fucknis wrong with them #but roman. roman.#the gerri thing was completely a mommy issues deal #roman ‘for reasons of … we dont know why i cant pee next to other men’ roy #i enjoy watching his torment and quite frankly i cant think of anything that would turn him inside out with misery #quite like the slow tortuous realization that everything his father is disgusted by in him #are the things that make him feel happy and at peace and loved #i hope his interactions with mattson are confusing and scary and addicting and he keeps going back #mencken works too but im sorry that more boring.2 me. ohhh hes into it bc facism bad but he likes when thing bad we get it.#thats the same thing hes been doing tho #now imagine: rome but hes in a relationship with someone whos a little fascinated by him #this dettached deadeyed weirdo who doesnt roll his eyes when he speaks #and instead seems to listen to every word and remember what he says #and who maybe. just maybe. even cares about him #like mattson would definitely treat him like a bug under glass but roman ‘dog cage and chocolatte cake’ roy #would easily mistake that for love #idk not articulating it well. might write a fic abt it. we’ll see #tomgreg canon truthers btw no hate i lov the ship sorry if this shows up in the tag #but theyre definitely going to be in weird limbo forever & ever #i think at best tomgreg will become canon? (audible question mark)#i think they could fuck nasty and weird on screen and tom would start gaslighting greg into thinking it didnt happen #because nothing like. nice or good happens in the show its about misery #i want tomgreg to stay on ao3 so i can read abt tom healing after leaving waystar #anyways!#chatter

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spilledbeans116 · 9 months ago

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I want a Vegeta enamel pin but I don’t like the Figpins or other name-brand merch for whatever reason

Then all the fan made ones that I like I find second hand and they’re scratched and messed up for 30 bucks 😭

#people on eBay and other such websites are so funny to me #like baby cakes no one is buying your scratched and stained pin for 60+#I do not care if it’s vintage #I can’t tell if that’s Vegeta’s hair or MOLD #also ‘vintage’ stuff don’t get me started #beanbag talkie time

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blcssom · 1 year ago

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closed starter for @tcrnished + open m/f/nb based on: spotify starter call

honey i'm making sure the table's made // we can celebrate the good that we've done // i won't lie if there's something still to take // there is ground to break whatever's still to come - eat your young || hozier

she falters for only a second when her target makes eye contact with her. quick to mask it with a bashful glance away, jo can't exactly pinpoint why her heart is suddenly racing. still, she has her orders. taking a deep breath, she approaches with an apologetic smile. "excuse me... are you from around here? i'm just visiting a friend and i'm.... so lost."

#ok ok hear me out could just be two people using one another and like... unwilling to admit that they actually CARE about the other person #or like..... spies on opposite sides a la mr. & mrs. smith ??#like they're both meant to get intel on the other and they come in like 'tch piece of cake' only to find it was not in fact a piece of cake #the tension was SUFFOCATING #anyway i love enemies 2 lovers xoxo #and this song is the epitome of that vibe 2 me #( int/ joanne rhys. )#( testing. )#tcrnished #( 3 / ?? )

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midifighter · 1 year ago

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girls will literally have the scariest dreams and then wake up atfucking 7 AM

#had a dream i was planning a surprise party for my brother and i wanted to make a Custom Cake after the storebought one #took family to the mall so they could sit in teh party room with the normal cake and go looking for materials to make another #pull up a map of said (MASSIVE) mall on my phone like. so massive it basically took up the size of a small us state #hours go by im walking in fuckin circles looking for other cake shop. turns out i hve the wrong map open Well Ok. its fine #get the real map find the cake shit Fuck up the cake so bad but at this point i dont care #some other stuff happened here that i dont remember but then i was in a giant grocery store within the massive mall and for some reason all+#of the employees were evil goat people who wanted to kill me so it took forever to get through it #and then i just said fuck it and started a Food Fight. and then i got the custom cake there at 11:30 pm and it was terrible #idojt know why i typed this all i wanna go back to bed. Bye

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victory-cookies · 1 year ago

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the only irl friend I have that I feel comfortable actually talking about the things I enjoy with just insulted me for gushing about smth to her over snap last night and now I want to cry