#this makes no fucking sense and i will die mad about it
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cutter-kirby · 1 year ago
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haha wow they're wrapping things up nicely so far! what do you mean jay is staying in fionnaworld
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hauntingblue · 2 months ago
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CAUSE THIS IS THRILLER (bark), THRILLER (bark) NIGHT
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Usopp's outfit is so funny for reals
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He got the whole squad laughing
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Luffy enablers at it again.... (Robin.... I know.....)
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The humor panels so far have been so good!!! God this arc is so funny
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HE SAID IT‼️‼️
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They look like birds 😭😭
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It's just too good... luffy taking cerberus and zombies what can't he do
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It's just banger after banger what can I say
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Franky feeling for other people because of his guilt complex and sanji lying through his teeth and pulling out the women excuse to seem unaffected... yeah
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Look at them.... look how they ate
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Omg joyboy reference?? (No)
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Sanji is rubbing off on usopp.... also chopper noticing that is sogeking's weapon akdhaksjak
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ANOTHER SLAY!!!!!
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Their priorities: I'm not strong enough, there isn't enough food, and nami isn't here
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Franky going from wanting to kill brook for his jokes to making a joke like his after he hears his backstory... exactly (Robin was already enabling him before the backstory even fdagjsfha)
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Sanji is altering his body and actually being on fire to communicate to us how fucking mad he is..... I need more of him going insane I do I do
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My god what is he doing ALDJALAJALA
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AHSAHAHQHAH THEY ARE THE SAME!!! naaah sanji wouldn't force a woman to be his wife
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You cant see me but I am nodding my head in agreement over and over
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You don't understand he altered his body to communicate to us how mad he is. He inploded himself and then reconstituted again. Those germa 66 genes are insane
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You tell em usopp!!!! The first of many girls you've scared into defeat!!! Akdjqknql
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Zoro zombie regressed to not trusting robin akdjaks he's still in there
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ROBI-CHO SUPLEX??? HELL YEAAAAAH
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There is zosa- [GUNSHOT GUNSHOT GUNSHOT GUNSHOT]
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Super frapper gong.... he is doing combo shots with frobin... omg.... parents....
Everything is so fun I'm having such a good time reading.... and then zosan angst like damn I am being fed well here
#in the anime the guys didn't say they wanted to die aldjlajala for the kids luffy just wants to turn into a clam#thriller bark is so funny.... 'worst arc' my ass.... it's funny as hell and then we get zosan angst. best thing ever#same with skypiea but there we got really nice relationships betwen characters and nolan x calgara homoeroticism for the ages#and LORE for the ages. not like the kuma incident won't be talked about in the history books but yeah#everyone calling absalom perv salom... yeah#sanji in that fucking penguin never gets old.... also HELLO LOLA#moira fought against kaido and lost akdjsksnks is that why he became a warlord? just like whitebeard defeated crocodile?? out of spite??#also what is the land of ice where moira got oars? he also mentioned it before too... i thot he was referring to ryuma so it was wano but n#the legend of the continent puller who built a nation of villains.... okay okay oars....#oars was killed 500 years ago.... ✍️✍️ this somehow feels important bc of its closeness to the void century etc#zombie luffy oars wanting sanjis food.... 🚬🚬🚬 of course.....#oars luffy maintaining his dream... yeah yeah. also namis outfits for this arc are so sickening.... i miss them already#the zombie generals being at absalom's wedding... thats so funny..#luffy oars is so funny aldjslsn just making himself a hat and steering his giant ship... of course#you guys think they are going to make sanji mad about the clear clear fruit in the opla or completely ignore it bc his reasoning is bad#like it makes sense with the wci backstory it does but that would be spoilers lmao. so its either he wants to peep on women or nothing#i love the greek chorus of the two zombies telling the audience how they are both as bad in that regard. amazing#did ryuma use french for his attack.... there is zosan everywhere for tho-[GUNSHOTS]#zombie ryuma's design is also cool as hell.... his blood is literally fire.... come on now....#also zoro says he wants to act like this fight didnt happen... is that why he says fuck all in wano to hiyori? damn. he said i put shame#in you and your country but i will keep it quiet bc you gave me a cool sword and fight and i am actually so honorable. thats him yeah...#zombie zoro and sanji remaining tfait being that they hate (love fighting) each other... there is zosa-[GUNSHOT GUNSHOT GUNSHOT]#i forgot how much oars destroyed them... after enies lobby they seem untouchable but without their captain there... the gears are turning..#also btw i cannot believe im gonna get an answer about why the skypieans and the shandians have wings. thats insane#i am enjoying luffy oars so much it is so fun. trying to enjoy it bc i know i won't be laughing anymore once sabaody kicks in.... fuck me..#usopp and franky wanting to wait for luffy to beat oars down but zoro and sanji know... and they will KNOW soon enough....#i forgor kuma asked about ace to nami... what is going on. kuma coming from the warlord meeting too.... did he want to warn him??#he wanted to inform moria about balckbeard becoming a warlord omg here we go.... also moria being racist towards kuma hello???#and he strictly follows the government.... until here bc he lets luffy go.... christ.... he asks about ace bc he knew what blackbeard did..#reading one piece
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helpimstuckinafandom · 9 months ago
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JUSTICE FOR DAVINA CLAIRE I'M SO FUCKING SERIOUS FUCK OFF OH MY FUCKING GOD
#CAMI AND DAVINA GONE IN ONE EPISODE??!?!!??#YOU CAN'T BE FUCKING FOR REAL#(davina perma died an episode later both they both died in one episode right before that)#also this season has been slacking on marcel and the ep post-davina's death kicked him up several notches#he said all the shit i take issue with about the always and forever family bs#he hit that shit out of the park#also camille's death being all about comforting klaus fucking pissed me off#it was until she was scared right at the end that it was more about her#and her last words COULD have beenthe immortality line. but then they had to have her bolster klaus again instead#at least we got others mourning her after#but davina????#those bitchass ancestors forced her boyfriend to kill her then nearly shredded her soul#and she could've been resurrected. but of course fucking family came first#she had to die screaming for mercy alone as the ancestors tried to carve her soul from fucking existence#(and though i'm mad at elijah and freya for it it makes sense for them to do it#(what pissed me off was them and klaus then telling marcel that they were justified and he should just suck it up and understand)#(like no take the consequences let the man mourn)#(freya claiming family to kol too like girl i don't know you. and this 'family' loves you more than it ever loved me)#(y'all only love me on my deathbed)#(if being family means we kill each other's partners [which happens time and time again] then fuck being in this family)#like i don't actually want the mikaelsons dead. but also i hope super vampire marcel kills you all#hope kol gets away from you people because you are not family to him. you aren't.#but mostly davina. poor fucking davina#her and kol are my bonnie and enzo - finally finding someone who will choose them not just use them#only for death at the hand of allies#davina clair was an abused teenager you all used and who justifiably hated y'all#and she deserved more than to die like this. die basically three fucking times over still helping in the end#truly have not seen a witch this blatantly used and mistreated since the bonnie bennet#davina claire#the originals
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lord-squiggletits · 1 year ago
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I must admit I'm getting this horrible image in my head of Tarn as that type of creepy guy who donates way too much money to a streamer and then absolutely loses it when he hears they're not single.
That's probably accurate lol. Although unlike (seemingly) most people in this fandom, I blame Megatron more for turning Tarn into that kind of obsessed freak than I do Tarn for being a freak. I mean, my view is basically "you reap what you sow/the monster you created turned around and bit you" so I don't really have sympathy for Megatron with regards to Tarn showing up and ruining his life lol. I actually really like the DJD coming in MTMTE as basically the living embodiment of karma and Megatron's comeuppance about not being able to run away from/ignore his past.
Like blah blah "no matter how sad your backstory is you're still responsible for your own actions" but also Megatron is literally 100% the reason Tarn is Like That, and Megatron also used parasocial manipulation, propaganda, and his grandiose personality to manipulate the Decepticons into worshipping/following him without question. So like. It's fiction, I don't have to be all "well they're all problematic" I can just be like "lol, lmao even" and point and laugh as Megatron gets fucked up by Tarn and the DJD because he can't talk his way out of this problem.
#squiggle answers#i'm not mad at you or thinking you're saying anything#i'm just very fond of dying of the light and i enjoy megatron suffering#i love how dying of the light is like megatron's personal torment nexus of getting trapped by his bad decisions#but also getting other people dragged down with him by accident#and then he's so fucking pathetic that he can't even compromise his 'pacifism' to save those people he dragged down#and then he lashes out in anger and becomes violent and hateful again and slaughters the whole DJD#i love that shit. love when megatron is fucked up and dysfunctional#i'm not saying i wanted him to become WORSE and like die a horrible fate per se#i'm just saying that i disagree with most of the fandom when they're like aww let this old man rest and tarn should fuck off he's a loser#i'm like nah. put megatron in the blender. don't let him just suddenly decide to be a pacifist and then that's it. make him fuck up#ough sorry it's just. i like megatron getting better but i also like him staying bad lol#like i want him to get redeemed but i also still want him to be fucked up and full of anger and hatred. if that makes sense#but yeah. not to be a tarn defender or anything but like#sometimes the fandom seems like it listened too much to the part where megatron was like#'i was happy i was at peace and you ruined everything'#meanwhile i'm sitting there like: yeah they ruined it. and so what. it's your fault. you don't get to be peaceful and happy#when you still have mistakes that you need to address and do something about instead of running away#muah. muah. muah. love dying of the light#i wanted to rip megatron apart from being so pathetic but i was also like. awww sad old man#mostly i wanted to rip him apart tho lol
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shittydrawnsollux · 1 year ago
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// okay yeah reminder once again. most of you do not know me. i do not know you. your "jokes" are not funny when on anon theyre just creepy 🔥 kindly fuck off forever
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darkaac · 4 months ago
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one thing leads to another which leads to another which leads to another which once again leads to me asking how do you fuck this up at every turn
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theobot · 2 years ago
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Listen I don’t know how you could read the last line before the *** and the line after the *** and not conclude they made out. I’m just being reasonable here
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maraeffect · 1 year ago
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ironmanstan · 2 years ago
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Omg i am remembering why i fucking hate english classes ^__^
#i cant read i have actual for real problems my god#im like /srs about this like when i read things i have to reread anything longer than a sentence like 3 times at least#bc the words all mix up and the word orders just do not connect in my head and i can read them i know the words audibly#but they dont make sense at all#and its like the same thing reading numbers does to me#and in books i used to just reread constantly or just skip words like actively reading every other word in a book#and well me when i get a 60% in english and i go check how bc i understood the lesson??? it was so easy#and then i read the problems i got wrong and its like oh. its all bc i mixed up. the words. and clicked the wrong ones.#like im looking through and its like haha. fuck. great great great i am soo fine i literally know the answers to these but i get them wrong#bc i cant fucking read. so cool so cool ooooufhhjg my god#i dont havw time to care about this i have portfolio in a week baby aha i will scream#this is worth 10% of my grade wowwwww cool ill die now#i got a 97 before this . i love everything hahhah#the gamer speaks uwu#sorry guys i am built to write papers and thats it#IM SO MAD IM SO MAD ITS SUCH EASY BULLSHIT I ANSWER ALL THE QUESTIOJS ABOUT FORMATTING AND MLA AND SHIT CORRECTLY#AND I MISS THE ONES W THE ACTUAL EXAMPLES BC I GET MIXED UP ON ALL THE NAMES AND THERES SO MANY OPTIONS WITH ONLY ONE WORD CHANGED#AND I CANT FUCIFUING READ IT !!!! I ANSWER EVERYTHING THAT MATTERS RIGHT AND I LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT GETTING THE STUPID EASY SHIT WRONG#COOL#GREAT#my fucuging god#vent#i guess. i love school i love school#i get a bad grade one time and die ab it
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spark1edog · 5 months ago
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ugh i need to stop vaping this shit is so expensive 😭
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hauntingblue · 3 months ago
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ENIES LOBBY TIME!!!
Sanji's face here.... he Knows he is going to fuck him up
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THAT IS SANJI??? 😨
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Holding them in my hands again....
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Sanji struck a nerve there akdjaoajkq
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Increible trio btw.... look at the evidence
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............ me next please 🙏🏻
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That is love right there I can see it
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What if we all killed ourselves (except usopp is telling her the opposite ajahkdhsakjd)
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I need sanji to go insane like this more often.... after the timeskip it doesn't happen as much and I love to see him suffering
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This is so funny.... there is no denying to her face card
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"It's not like she actually wants to die" well yes she does, but no because you know she doesn't really. It is in a quantum state right now
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Luffy is such a menace akdhaksjkaak
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TELL EM!!!! THAT'S MY GIRL!!!!
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Look at franky worrying about robin.... do not fret luffy is coming and he will NOT lose!!!!!
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This is zoro remarking how usopps fear of being left behind makes no sense.... this is so good.....
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This is so endearing but it also breaks my heart....
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Who is that sultry binch... (I don't recall this attack AT ALL and i'm sure we never see it again)
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They botched his bbl.... 😔😔😔
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Luffy's face here... he was convinced she wanted to go with them but was compelled to do otherwise but no.... he thought wrong and he can't fight to her.... I've just been staring at this page for minutes like damn.
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Nevermind.... this is something your mother would say "you want to die??? Just wash the dishes and you can do whatever you want later"
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"If you wanna die, or whatever...." this is so good like he knows what he is doing.... he Knows.... look at her face. After knowing how luffy and ace were as kids this just makes more sense (oda didn't think about this i'm sure but damn does it fit) also the slight manipulation.... look at all of us we're already here and look how we all miss you already... you know that post about luffy being selfish but his selfishness is jusg kindness to others... yesh
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Thinking about robin's cinderella lifestyle.... why did her mother leave her with that aunt and why didn't some archeologist take her in?? Because she doesn't complain about anything just like she doesn't respond when that mother accused her of hitting her child without reason... that's so fucked
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Alright this is funny (and also true)... I'm sorry fellow women....
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*Justin Bieber voice* I like your laugh... dereishi shishishi
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SHE'S GONNA ASK HER MOM TO TAKE HER TO THE SEA WITH HER??? LIKE SHE DOES AFTER WITH LUFFY??? MY GOD!!! I just bursted into tears like I got punched in the nose I can't keep going ajdhakajk
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I lied i can keep going... but head in my hands over this....
Find out how my emotional stability survives this arc in ennies lobby part 2. coming soon
#franky calling sanji brother eyebrows is too good akdbsksnsk also ily franky#captain t bone.... he got killed tecently.... i forgot who he was until now but he actually cared thats so fucked up.... cross guild come o#sanji going against cp9 by himself.... i shant say it... SLAY!!!! also the cook being mad about being pretty cause he has no individuality.#lucci talking about a little girl being born wrong and needing to die for it TO SANJI!!! OOF!!!#the frog stopped rocketman bc he thought they kidnapped kokoro just like they took tom 😭😭😭 this fucking frog always gets me#chapter 377 and franky is in the headline with the strawhats ❤️❤️ they recruit TWO thirty year olds in enies lobby ajdhaksjks#franky biting spandex head.... yeah... and he should do it more why did he stop biting heads... he got domesticated#luffy is such a menace here like damn.... he is charging thru EVERYTHING!! GET THEM BOY!!!!#also franky is so important in giving robin hope here... like she sees him fighting back no matter what and i KNOW that inspires her...#i am going to say it hina fullbody and jango have a challengers thing going on but without hina being involved physically iykwim#when in action panels the ink just becomes lines... OOF!!! CHEFS KISS!!! MWAH MWAH#completely forgot gear 2 used the shave technique.... thats so cool..... also iron body must be haki then... and finger pistol#i dont think i can do this... after this ends we got thriller bark and then marineford starts building up...#i can endure water 7 sad moments bc everything ends up well in the end but what am i gonna do with marineford.... my god#also dr clover and dr hyruluk and crocus all have smilar plant based hair designs is that bc they are doctors or just coincidence#also robins father is dead and for sure another archeologist or similar.... thats inch resting....#which also like damn olvia and dragon had to make the same choices with their children i am sure. thats so fucked. dragon backstory when#clover knew the name of the fallen kingdom (robonosuke lore??) and also olvia knew some important information the gov didnt know... ✍️✍️✍️#SAKAZUKI SHOT THE EVACUATION SHIP???? HELLO??? I DIDNT REMEMBER IT WAS HIM!! (also olvia knew where saul was)#kuzan is sick in the head... he can't bring himsef to kill child robin but he will kill her as an adult... also his beef with akainu is OLD#like no wonder she was terrified when she saw him again. he said live like a recluse or i will end you and she fucking did. THE bogeyman#there are comments saying they hate akainu and he has just appeared 😭😭 JUST FUCKING WAIT#you guys think when luffy realised robin's enemy was the world gov he also realised it was sabo's enemy too.... bc as a child he didn't kno#also pluton was made as a countermeasure for the weapon robin could reactivate... could that be the one that was used in lulusia??#bc i thought that weapon was pluton but if pluton is just blueprints.... this makes more sense... which could also mean the ancient weapons#are a countermeasure for weapons the government already has. and thats why they're hunting them down. to have no opposition#so there must be two sides of the ancient weapons bc they call pluton that but also the unnamed one that robin could activate#so is pluton a countermeasure to uranus (the one used in lulusia i think) but neptune? trios dont make sene but a trio and their opposite d#reading one piece#enies lobby
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leebrontide · 2 years ago
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Every single time I see a take that amounts to "if you write about X happening, or like fiction where X happens, you like X" I'm reminded of this one time I was at a casual friends house as a young kid. We were in her room, pretending to "be orphans" escaping from an evil orphanage and having to take care of each other and fend for ourselves. It was all very Little Orphan Annie/All Dogs Go to Heaven and based on the 80s pop media.
And this girl's mom comes in, hears what we're playing and gets all MAD and UPSET. She says that if we play act something, it's because we want it to happen. So her daughter must WANT HER TO DIE.
First off lady, we were 6 year year olds, so take it down several notches. We barely had a concept of mortality for fucks sake. She made us feel so guilty and ashamed, because she was taking our game personally.
Now I have a 5 year old. And sometimes she looks at me and says "pretend you're dead, and I have to -" Whatever it is. Some adult task she's assigned herself.
And it's just so transparently obvious that she's practicing the idea of having to do things on her own. Which is exactly what 5 year olds are supposed to do. I actually find it very flattering that the only way she can envision me not being available to help her is to be literally deceased. Otherwise, obviously, she wouldn't have to do scary hard things alone.
It's a natural coping mechanism. She's self-soothing about what would happen if I wasn't there by play-acting independence in a perfectly safe environment. She's also practicing skills she needs, and making up excuses for practicing them on her own, without taking on the responsibility of being able to do them by herself all the time yet.
Humans mentally rehearse bad this in their brains all the time. We can do that by ruminating- going over worries over and over again, which tends to lead to anxiety and helplessness and depression. Or we can do it with a sense of play- by recognizing that the fiction is fiction and we can dip our toe into these experiences and expose ourselves to bad things without actually being injured.
My daughter does not want me dead. And I don't want bad things to happen in real life. But fiction and pretend help me face the horrors of the world and think about them without collapsing or messing myself up mentally.
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pepperpixel · 4 months ago
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*my eyes burst open w a flash of light*
SEVIKA
Yadda yadda yadda jinx is generally seen as a loose canon, does whatever she wants type of character, totally unpredictable. When in actuality, up until the last few episodes all of her choices and actions r motivated by wanting to please someone else. Hell. Even in the last couple episodes, the very Last thing we see her doing is ENTIRELY MOTIVATED by devotion and love and grief for silco, she’s taking out her frustration at herself and the world, and also honoring his wishes and dreams. By shooting a fucking bomb at piltover, she’s ensuring his life wasn’t in vain, she’s honoring him. In that moment
Her entire, self!!! is centered around love and loyalty. Is centered around other people, She’s motivated by an insatiable urge to prove herself, to be useful to those she loves, to show that she can help them and be there for them and be WORTHY of there love. That they haven’t made a mistake in loving her. To prove that she can be as pivotal to them as they r for her. She goes to the ends of the fucking earth to do this. And it ends. Terribly.
She puts the people she loves on pedestals and supplicates at there feet, she has no motivations most of the show outside of making the people she loves happy… she yearns for connection and love and safety. For a home that will never leave her behind, or crumble under her feet, (an indestructible home, That she can’t destroy just by being her…)
Which is why.. it’s so. Interesting and intriguing. How now, she has no one on that pedestal to worship, no one to drag sacrifices and offerings to the feet of, no one to spiral around and build herself off of. She is a person so *affected* by her relationships w others, but there is no relationship now, no one is stepping up to the plate to love her. She’s too much. For anyone. The one person who seemed to have unlimited patience for her is dead, because of her. and maybe vi could still love her.. but. She’s already soured that relationship. Already broken that one too. Broken all her favorite toys that made her so happy. That were there for her. And scared all the rest away. (There is a limit to what vi can support and forgive to reconnect w her sister. And I believe terrorism is crossing that limit ghgh)
And maybe, jinx is cutting that part of herself out on purpose. To be stronger, she’s realized she just. Isn’t made for love. That she ruins it all in the end. That it just makes everything worse. Messier. More complicated. She’s better off on her own, but for what PURPOSE! Who will she be now! What choices will she make!?! Almost all of her actions in the show were for others, what is driving her now, now that she has this gaping void at the center of her being. Where love used to be… what kind of person will she become, Without a guide to follow… a sun to orbit around. it’s sad honestly ghghg-!!! like yeah it’s not healthy that she is this way but there’s no THERAPY IN ARCANE. THIS IS THE WAY SHE IS! And now. She’s alone… it’s rough. But also intriguing…!! And I honestly have no clue how she’s gonna act in season 2,,, or what sorta shit she’s gonna get up to. but I’m excited.
#I have just watched the newest teaser.. omg. she built Sevikas new arm#Sevika is defending her… jinx probably tried giving her the arm and Sevika lashed out and that made jinx upset and she ran away#but then Sevika felt bad and came to hELP HER SEVIKA#SEVIKA I WAS NOT SURE IF U WERE GOING TO BE ON JINXS SIDE OR NOT SINCE#jinx does not rlly have a SIDE per say honestly!!! she is just fumbling her way thru this world one explosion at a time#and I thought u might be mad at her cuz of the whole silco thing. but OMG SEVIKA#SEVIKA AND JINX…. Sevika hardened badass w a heart of gold actually…#cannot help herself from looking out for this runt. even if itd be easier to leave her on her own to sort her own shit out#like… ghghg I love Sevika pls I hope the season actually has so much Sevika and jinx yessss. yes!!! ha ha ha!!! yes!!!!!!#Srry for hijacking my jinx mental health post for reactions to the new teaser but I was! excited!!!#I wanted to talk about it and I thought it’d be funny to add it onto this post lol#arcane#pepper words#sevika#jinx#also omg watching those fucking steampunk Victorian England chucklefucks try to mess w jinx#the violence I felt within me… like… I kno she’s a badass murderer who can kill ppl so good. but like.. seeing those guys hurt her#rage…. rage inside me. who the fuck do u think u are. die#ghghgh like I got SO protective watching that like how fucking dare anyone ever hurt a single hair on this girls head she’s WOBDERFUL#ok????#alright anyway… there’s my thoughts on that teaser lol. I’m excited for Sevika and jinx interactions :)#(​jinx building sevikas new arm and getting rejected and that being why she’s crying isn’t confirmed but it MAKES SENSE!! ok!#I would like if that’s what happened so I believe that that is the case ghghg- if it turns out I’m wrong then! whatever lol)#I think if jinx is actively terrorizing u or society u r allowed to beat her up I can give ppl a pass on that#cuz sometimes… u kno.. sometimes she does do that! and ppl have a right to defend themselves / there homes#but those motherfuckers we’re on her for NOTHING! she was just running down the street upset!! I draw the line at that u#if u haven’t been personally victimized by jinx u aren’t allowed to hurt her ghgh-#this addition is in regards to my anger at the Victorian England chucklefucks lol#I think it might be more accurate to say I wasn’t sure if JINX was going to be on SEVIKAS side… honestly. rather than the other way around#ALSO B4 I RUN OUT OF TAGS. I actually think she’s probably crying cuz she ran into fucking VI AND THE ENFORCERS B4 not cuz of Sevika!
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tgcg · 9 months ago
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the master baiter
TG: dont be mad
TG: ok thats like asking water not to be wet but
CG: WATER ISN'T FUCKING WET GOD DAMMIT.
TG: look whatever remember when you said you would die for me
TG: is that karkat in the room with us right now
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CG: I'M DYING "FOR YOU" EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU PEEL OPEN THOSE SHIT-EATING LIPS YOU KEEP PULLED TAUT OVER YOUR DRONING IGNORANCE SHAFT.
TG: heheheh
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CG: YOUR WORDSLUDGE SPEARS EVERY PARTICLE OF MY BODY WITH PINPOINT STRIDERIAN IDIOCY.
TG: oh shit here we go
CG: A VERBAL BARRAGE THAT PULVERIZES MY FLESH INTO A FINE RED MIST, KILLING ME INSTANTLY. WIPING ME THE FUCK OUT, TO SUCH AN INCREDIBLE DEGREE THAT PALEONTOLOGISTS CAN'T FULLY DISCERN IF A "KARKAT" FUCKING EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE.
CG: THEY'D BE SCRATCHING THEIR NUGBONES OVER IT FOR FUCKING SWEEPS, IF NOT FOR THE SHOCKING REALIZATION MERE MINUTES INTO THEIR DEBATES THAT NOBODY ACTUALLY GAVE A SHIT.
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CG: AND YET THE TEMPORAL DEVICE STILL SWAYS TO AND FRO IN CONSTERNATION. VEXED BY THE COMPLETE MENTAL VACANCY PUT BEFORE IT BY MY HUMBLE SACRIFICE, BOUND BY ITS COSMIC ROLE, BEGRUDGED BY MY UNSOLICITED DEATH CLOCKING IT INTO OVERTIME. IT HAS BETTER SHIT TO DO, GOD DAMMIT! IT HAS A LUSUS AND A HIVE TO GET BACK TO!
CG: "WHAT IS THIS. WHO LET THIS ASSHOLE IN HERE," IT SAYS. THEY AREN'T EVEN QUESTIONS, JUST ORBITAL SIGHS OF AN UNCARING UNIVERSE. A REALITY NOW KEENLY AWARE OF ITS OWN LAUGH TRACK.
CG: AND ITS PENDULUM TEETERS, TENTATIVE IN ITS OWN DISBELIEF AND PROFOUND APATHY.
TG: damn
======
CG: "THIS SCUMBAG ISN'T EVEN GODTIER YET," IT POINTS OUT. THE AUDIENCE FLIPS THEIR COLLECTIVE SHIT, AGHAST AT THIS REVELATION.
TG: hahaha
CG: IT WELLS UP SUCH A THRUM OF FUCKING ENNUI THAT THE TIMEPIECE FLIPS OFF-KILTER, LANDING SQUARELY IN THE "DUMBASS" ZONE WITH A "FUCK IT" LOUD ENOUGH TO REVERBERATE THROUGHOUT PARADOX SPACE.
======
CG: IT THEN ELECTS TO KICK MY PATHETIC FUCKING HALF-CORPSE BACK INTO THE LIVING PLANE AND FORCE ME, VENGEFULLY FROM THE AUDACITY OF MY OWN IDIOCY, TO REPEAT THIS CYCLE AD NAUSEAM
CG: UNTIL EXISTENCE ITSELF FINALLY CROAKS UNDER THE COMBINED WEIGHT OF OUR COLOSSAL STUPIDITY.
CG: BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK WOULD I BE IF I EVER GOT TO HAVE A BREAK?
======
TG: yep there he is thats him offincer
TG: the man after my own heart
TG: thats a karkat brand "soft yes" if i ever heard one and i know my karkatisms dude im a goddamn graduate in karkatology
TG: i got my degree in this shit
TG: im rocking up to our convos with the dumbass black square hat thing cocked 45 degrees
TG: literally incapable of snapping it back kinda by design of the stupid thing but damn if im not doing it anyways im emanating the snappitudes
TG: im rocking my intelligence right now
TG: also water is absolutely wet dude its like the wettest thing on the planet
CG: I'M NOT REPEATING MYSELF AGAIN
TG: yeah you are
CG: FUCK. I AM.
======
CG: I SAID THE LAST THREE TIMES IT'S A CONDITIONAL TERM--
TG: and im saying its common sense like being wet isnt conditional when youre the perpetual thing of wettening
CG: NO
TG: and brother it is THE wet
TG: like following your conditional argument
TG: if water isnt wet then the other water molecules are constantly making each other fuckin wet so its a moot point
TG: great philosophical debate
TG: which came first the water or the wet?
CG: DAVE
TG: think about it all those particles are wetting each other up all the time and shit
TG: its a fucked up display
CG: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
======
TG: pretty much a perpetual orgy of the elements
CG: DUDE.
TG: that sounds kinda sick actually if you dont think about what it means
TG: h2orgy
CG: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO VETO THIS STUPID DISCUSSION--
TG: tell me im wrong dude
CG: I'M UNIVERSE-APPOINTED TO HOVER AROUND YOU POINTING OUT EVERY DUMBASS TAKE YOU HAVE FOR THE REST OF TIME.
TG: thats so beautiful to me
TG: i could cry
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dreamsteddie · 2 months ago
Text
Once Steve and Eddie come out to the broader world, Eddie's floodgates open, and before interviewers can even think to ask about his "long-term partner and love of my life" Eddie starts gabbing about Steve almost as soon as a microphone is put near his face.
At first, Eddie refuses any and all requests to be on talk shows or long-form interviews. Steve himself has no desire to be interviewed ever, and Eddie wants the media hype to die down before he makes any big appearances off the stage. He knows that if he does the conversation will be a glorified investigation into his private life no holds bared.
So Eddie takes the occasional question after a show or on the red carpet but always dominates the conversation and finishes quickly. He's always dropping little tidbits about Steve, even if it's just talking about whether or not he was able to make the show or how handsome he looks in their matching outfits today.
Once the hype dies down and the media vultures aim their beaks at another celebrity, Eddie agrees to do a couple of talk shows with the rest of the band.
Everything is normal. The focus is on their next leg of the tour and the music video they released last week that went viral. Right up until the last three or so minutes when the interviewer asks, kindly, how his boyfriend Stevie is doing.
Stevie.
As in Eddie's Stevie.
The name only Eddie and Robin have ever called him. The name that used to make Steve flush so pretty when they first started drifting together. The name that still makes Steve give him one of those pleased little smiles that make his heart pitter-patter in his chest years later.
Eddie's hackles are immediately raised at the audacity of this stranger to talk about his boyfriend so familiarly. His shoulders rise, eyes narrowing ready to say something scathing when the rest of the band notices and steps in. Jeff drops a not-so-friendly hand on Eddie's shoulder while Freak steps in to very loudly tell a funny story about the last time Steve joined them on the road. Emphasizing "Steve" a little too much as he does.
When Eddie finally gets to stalk off stage he's let himself get worked into a tizzy. Logically, it's not a big deal but Eddie has always been territorial when it came to Steve and has been even more on edge since they came out. The idea of anyone outside of their family acting like they know them, know him, just because he's married to Rockstar Eddie Munson and shows up in the occasional gossip rag makes him so fucking mad.
As soon as he's backstage he's dialing Steve's number, impatiently running one hand through his hair as the phone rings and rings. As soon as he hears the beginning of Steve's standard WASPy "Hello, this is the Harrington-Buckley residence, Steve speaking" greeting Eddie launches into a long rant about "the audacity of media vultures."
Steve doesn't say a word the entire time, just letting Eddie vent out his frustrations. At the end, Steve lets the silence linger for a little bit before speaking.
"Hey babe?"
"Yeah, Stevie?"
"I don't know how to tell you this but you've been referring to me exclusively as 'Stevie' since we came out. I'm pretty sure when we made the announcement you said 'This is my Stevie. He's been my partner for six years.'"
".....what?"
"In fact, I'm sure that's exactly what you said because Robin replaced all my nametags at work with ones that said 'My Stevie' because she has the sense of humor of a middle schooler."
"God fucking damn it!"
They hang up not long after. When Eddie looks up for the first time since he dialed Steve's number he's met with the rest of the band and their personal crew all wearing various faces of exasperation.
Sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck, he rocks on the balls of his feet and says "Sooooooo...I may have overreacted."
----
The next day, despite Eddie's hopes that his outburst wasn't that noticeable, his clearly irate face is the subject of every magazine and gossip rag at the grocery store.
Robin frames her favorite one and gives it to Eddie for his birthday.
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erwinsvow · 6 months ago
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hii shea idk if someone has already made this type of request if that's the case please ignore me but i can't stop thinking about shy!reader absolutely cock drunk asking for the first time rafe to fuck her raw and the question caught him so off guard that he felt feral and dizzy, his composure slipping away just wanting to please his sweet girl<3
hi baby omg no i don't have any reqs like this here it is hope i did it justice <33
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rafe was teasing you today.
after more than an hour of back and forth at whatever party you two had gone to for the evening—and only because rafe wanted to sell and your friends had already promised they'd be there—you were more than ready to go home.
except rafe hadn't taken you home yet. instead you'd been all around the house—on rafe's lap in the living room to start. leaning in to your boyfriend's ear, you know he can tell how desperate you're getting.
you don't do well with denial anymore—rafe had spoiled you too much for that.
"can't we go now?" the words are whispered to rafe, and you rest your head on his shoulder, blinking up at him while you wait for a response. one of his hands leaves the armstand of the sofa and grips your exposed thigh, skirt riding up a little too much.
"it's early. hold out a little longer. can you do that for me?"
you think your eyes are going to roll all the way back. the answer is yes, of course, you can do that for him. you would do anything for him. you just don't want.
following that, you accompanied rafe to the other side of the house where a whole swarm of people were chasing their next high. though you should really stand next to him, you just can't find it in you today, instead staying his back, peering out every now and then like shy children do.
it's all worth it, because moments later rafe takes you upstairs, murmuring something about how you're being a good girl for holding out. there's an empty bedroom that you think is the perfect place to spend the next hour.
rafe's talking to you—though you're so deliriously horny you can't really hear him. you nod and stare up, agreeing to whatever your boyfriend wants to do, just wishing he would hurry up and do something already, when the door opens.
you're not naked, though if they had barged in a few minutes later, you might have been. and normally you think your face would be burning, that you might die of embarrassment at someone catching you like this.
instead you're just mad.
it's the owner of the house—which makes sense, since your boyfriend has brought you up to the master. he's got a girl of his own on his arm, and you grind your teeth getting up with rafe, furious and impatient now.
"at least knock next time!" you yell when you shuffle through, ignoring splutters of it's my house!
you think rafe is going to ask you what you want to do next—but he doesn't. your boyfriend, like always, knows what you need before you can even know it sometimes. you follow rafe back to his truck, ready for, at the very least, some peace and quiet.
when you finally get up to rafe's room, the buzz of the party is wearing off a bit. your feet hurt from your heels and you can't believe you yelled at someone. lost in your own thoughts, you don't even process rafe sitting down next to you, until he takes your feet into his lap, undoing the strap of your shoes for you.
it's instant—one touch from him is enough to set your skin on fire.
"oh," you say, at the sudden realization you might finally be getting what you want. you stare at where rafe is holding your ankle in place, shoes on the ground now. "thank you."
"s'nothing, kid. get on the bed." eagerly, you comply.
in the vain hope that rafe was as impatient as you are—you thought he would just fuck you already. but it seems not, with the slow way he kisses up and down your neck, down to your tits and your stomach.
you find it a lot easier to ask him for things now—a new dress, dessert, money for your nails—but it seems impossible to ask him for this, so you opt for enjoying it and staying silent.
but even then—rafe always knows when something is wrong. you're practically vibrating from anticipation—you had wanted your boyfriend to fuck you hours ago on that stupid couch from that stupid house. it seems your body was only now realize how long you'd been clenching your thighs, biting your cheek and ignoring the tense knot in your stomach.
a few touches from rafe was enough to have you practically melting—staring up and still not saying anything.
"y'okay, kid?" he asks, and you really don't know how to answer. "s'okay. you're getting what you want."
you can do this. you're patient—you've always been patient.
"can you-please, just-" alright, maybe not. "can you please just fuck me raw, please, please, just fuck me-"
of course, rafe's not stupid. he could tell you've been on edge all night, he just hadn't known why. he stares down at you, all flushed, hot skin and heavy breaths, looking up at him. he knows whatever reaction he gives you will stay on your mind, and though he can try as hard as he wants, you are impossible to say no to.
"jesus. s'that really what you want?" you nod eagerly. "can't regret this later, baby. once we do that, it's-it's serious. what if i knock you up, huh?"
rafe watches you take in the words, facing twisting in understand.
"please knock me up."
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