#I genuinely wish I was there in that era. Like wtf.

[moonymelly]

Alright guys I'm just gonna ignore all my problems and live life in my mind like its 2012 and this movie just came out

THIS GUY IS KEEPING ME SANE

[miss-conjayniality]

adhd meltdown over nu’est……….need to vent

NU’EST - a name that brings about a myriad of intense, tumultuous, goosebump-inducing emotions.

look….ima queue this shit cuz the thought of posting it in real time makes me cringe 💀

sigh. i hate getting this vulnerable. it’s uncomfortable. but i have to get this off my chest. it’s been two years since their disbandment. geez. time flies. and let me just tell you, this time of the year is always so sentimental to me. it hurts. it’s also when my adhd dives into extreme hyperfixation mode for them. no group (except for seventeen and skz) can invoke such feelings from me like nu’est does.

while I can still enjoy their music with love and gratitude even post-disbandment, there are rare occasions where i have to avoid listening to their music because it’s too painful to think of how it all ended. about what could’ve been.

i’ve been a DEVOUT nu’est stan since their debut in 2012 (alongside seventeen in 2013). i saw their peaks and troughs. and it feels like not only did i watch them grow, but also grew up with them.

and no i’m not saying this in a weird, creepy parasocial way. but genuinely in the sense that i’ve been listening to them since i was just a wee little middle schooler. their music, as well as numerous other groups from that era, served as the background music to my life.

thank you nu’est. thank you so much for filling my adolescence with insurmountable happiness during a phase in my life where I was clueless and insecure. thank you for being a source of comfort during my lowest periods. thank you for showing me the importance of grit and not letting a rock bottom phase hinder me from going after what I desire. thank you for helping me find solace in a community of fellow loves whom I still speak with to this day after all these years. and even though it’s been two years since the disbandment, it’s also been 12 years (wtf….no way) since the debut. and i WILL continue enjoying your music from years on out because it transcends time. it will always be a source of comfort and solace for me.

and even though I don’t truly wish to go back to the past, I will always cherish and respect the memories I held with your discography. and even though ot5 is no more, it’ll always be ot5 in my heart. forever and beyond.

every era evokes different eras of my own life - face, action, and hello from when I was just beginning middle school, sleep talking from when i was entering 8th grade. re:birth being released on my 15th birthday 🥺. their string of cringey japanese releases from when i was about to begin high school.

and of course, that segues into my next tangent - q is and beyond. during their inception, they had one of the most viewed debuts of their time and had a promising trajectory. face, action, and hello were all well-received. but then they fell into nugudom after sleep talking. and this was their first korean cb after 2 years. I remember rejoicing in happiness when q is came out. i remember listening to it on the way to my first period english class with my headphones and then continuing listening to it during our silent reading sessions lmao 😭💀. I cried happy tears and voted obsessively for them when they were promo-ing on music shows. they never won. but I was still happy and grateful they were back nonetheless. fast forward to later that year and they came back with an amaaazziingg fall album that i always come back to every september - canvas. this album was a source of comfort for me during that turbulent period coughs….the 2016 election…and when I started taking college classes in high school

we absolutely CANNOT talk about nu’est without discussing broduce 101. this absolute dumpster fire of a show tested my patience so much. I remember being PISSED when intl fans weren’t allowed to vote this season because I wanted to support my boys the same way I supported the pledis girlz who’d soon become p-…p….pristin….but that’s a tangent for another day daahhllliinnggss🥴🥴… i was so unhinged too that I even watched it during class sometimes LMAOOO HELP this is so hilarious to look back at😭💀

anyways I felt that this was simultaneously the best and worst season of p101 ever. most of the contestants were amazing and went on to release some gooood music afterwards. but good fucking god mnet tugged at my heartstrings wayyy too hard. I couldn’t stand it. as someone who is also a dedicated predebut carat, I also watched it for my baby samuel 🥺😢 mnet did both nu’est and sammy so dirty.

I remember the p101 s2 finale so vividly. I remember it like it was yesterday. I promised myself I wouldn’t peek at any social media that day but during lunch break i ACCIDENTALLY opened twitter and the moment I saw the spoilers, tears immediately made their way to my eyes. it broke my heart so bad. that entire day I was a fucking mess trying to make it through my last three classes of the day. the moment I got home, the first thing i did was lock myself in the bathroom and cry for an hour. I then cried even more in the shower.

it hurt me so bad seeing minhyun sobbing like that. the way jr still had the biggest smile on his face with happy tears for minhyun despite not making it into wanna one’s lineup still tests my sanity.

and the final straw? seeing the camera panning to seungcheol’s somber expression and samuel’s parents. and good fucking grief…….I cannot even imagine how seungcheol must’ve felt. I don’t think I could ever fathom the level of sorrow he felt at that very moment. for both nu’est and samuel. seeing all of his former colleagues that he himself grew up with being used as mere pawns by mnet. even after all these years, I still have to hold back tears whenever I dwell on this moment.

luckily that sorrow was soon followed by joy. when they created nu’est w as a workaround for minhyun’s year at wanna one, I was elated to see how successful they were doing on the charts and the way yEoBoSaYoOoO never dies🤣💀

where you at. deja vu. help me. all solid title tracks with immaculate b-sides to top it all off. ahhh. what a breath of fresh air the nu’est w era was. seeing them finally have their redemption after years of ridicule. and look….as much as I adored wanna one, part of me couldn’t wait until minhyun was finally back with nu’est sjsjsjsjsk😭

And when that moment came? OOOOOOF OMG!!!! I cannot stress ENOUGH how much I love happily ever after!!!! WHAT A COMEBACK ALBUM THAT WAS!!! NOT A SINGLE FUCKING SKIP! I still enjoy listening to it. it was an era that showed that they’re finally back in full force.

I felt that this era reflected nu’est in their fullest, highest form. THIS is who nu’est is! THIS is what their music sounds like! THIS is their image. if I were to introduce nu’est to anyone, I’d show them this album first.

later that year, they released the table and a string of songs with spoonz. such an underrated era tbh. not as strong as happily ever after was. but BOY OH BOY these guys KNOW how to drop a solid disco style song. love me is suuuch an ear worm that deserves more appreciation tbh.

and can we talk about THEEEE fucking NOCTURNE!?!?? OH MY GOODNESS WHAT AN ERA!!!! I’m in trouble is one of my fav title tracks next to bet bet. not even joking. reason being is coz as a britney stan, it really reminds me of oops I did it again lmaooo. moondance is one of my fav nuest b-sides EVERRR! AND THE WAY IT WAS PRODUCED BY JC CHASEZ FROM NSYNC TOO!?!??? I never expected to see my worlds colliding like this. just to clarify, I have a love-hate relationship and one-sided beef with nsync because of what justin did to britney. JC DESERVED BETTER! HE DESERVED WHAT J*STIN GOT!!! AGGGH but that’s a tangent for another day daahhlliinnggsss……..😪🤐

the nocturne really comforted me during the pandemic. during this point in time, I remember thinking “wow. it’s been 8 years. and even through this moment of global darkness, they’re still going strong and bringing light to their fans”.

a year later, they released their 2nd full album and their first release under the hybe acquisition and a week before drunk-slayed🥰what a slayful month april was. inside out wasn’t my absolute fav title track but I definitely found it to be a refreshing spring anthem. AND i llooovvee me some nu’solos 🤌🏼🤌🏼

i remember hearing about the news of NU’EST’s disbandment and going WHAT!?!??? it was as if I IMMEDIATELY felt my world turning upside down. I was in the middle of studying for finals AND wrapping up my internship. it was stressful already. i also went on a cold turkey social media fast. BUT I accidentally opened youtube and it threw off my whole vibe when studying for my exams.

I felt like a fucking wreck. It wasn’t until after that shitstorm was over when I actually checked out needle and bubble (lazy ass album thanks to hybe) and sobbed THEEEE absolute UGLIEST tears ever.

it broke my heart to see hybe disbanding nu’est like at the drop of a hat because they were JUST having their second career glory. they threw all of NU’EST’s hard work down the drain. and it’s disappointing because we could’ve seen more nu’enha and nu’txt interactions (living off my very few minhyun and baekho crumbs since they’re still under hybe) 😢 we could’ve seen them and seventeen together being big brothers to the youngsters and witnessed what would’ve been the sweetest, most wholesome interactions ever. sigh. the very few nu’enha and nu’txt interactions that exist are the crumbs I will madly eat.

NU’EST’s lore/backstory is what makes them iconic. and it’s amazing how even to this day they STILL inspire “nugu” idols to get a second chance and redeem themselves. no other group has the story nu’est does and that’s also another reason I respect them so much. what they’ve accomplished is not an easy feat. and their persistence in keeping their dreams alive actually inspires me to keep going in life even when I’m at my lowest. nu’est may be ‘disbanded’, but their story lives on and will continue to inspire and motivate others.

thank you aaron. thank you jr. thank you baekho. thank you minhyun. thank you ren.

thank you nu’est.

[shinkai14]

I'm probably biased as i grew up watching the dub of 5d's but i genuinely think Jack's dub voice really suits him, honestly i think most of the 5d's era characters dub voice are good with only a few that i think could be better or should just be completely different.

Yusei Fudo : Dub voice suits him and i like it

Jack Atlas : Dub voice really suits him in my opinion

Akiza Izinski : Like the rest of the main cast i think her voice suits her

Crow Hogan : didn't even realize he had two different va's in the dub and i honestly never noticed but i like both so yeah

Leo & Luna : i really like their dub voices though i wish the 5d's dub would've been finished so we could've heard what they would've sounded like older in the dub

Broder : wtf is with his dub voice, honestly i prefer imagining his with the same voice as Luka from Honkai Star Rail

[wejustvibing]

Thank for mentioning the behavior of Lewis' own fans. Many of them aren't any better than the rest. When they say the sport doesn't deserve Lewis, they should remember that they don't either. This apology gate in particular has brought out true colors of some of his ardent fans, they only like him till he's doing what they want him to. Fans refuse to understand that Lewis won't revert to his 2014-2017 era no matter how much they want him to. They want to live out some alpha male sports fantasy through him and that's never happening. I can't tell you how shocked I was seeing some of the racially charged comments directed at Lewis by his own fans. Saying that he has no dignity, that he's bowing to his white masters (WTF), like are y'all even hearing themselves atp?! They have no respect or empathy for him at all.

"admitting your driver was at fault doesn't make you a bad fan 🥹👉👈" like do you even hear yourself or us?? are you even aware of the conversation you're trying to call out? yeah, i've seen that stuff too. i genuinely wonder if people think being "savage" comes from a calm state of mind for that person? why would you wish turmoil on him? just so you can score idk social media points? istg the atrocious shit you have to see when something like this happens. also, the open hate after every qualifying session lately, just putting it out there that we've clocked that too. "let me attack him before they call me a part of the lewis "cult" 🥹👉👈" they're fooling nobody!

[lonewolflink]

Hey, Link! Got some super important questions I need you to answer! 😉

- favorite itzy variety show?

- wdzy or twinzy? who looks most like their cartoon counterparts?

- favorite title track? favorite era?

- favorite solo covers/performances from each of the members?

-any concepts you want itzy to try in the future?

Love your writing and I'm eagerly waiting for the next update! 💕

hi!!!!! omg i think this is the first non-anon ask i've ever gotten lol I'M EXCITED! and very glad you're enjoying my writing...next chapter of wsc is a real doozy so look out!!

answers after the jump :)

favorite itzy variety show?

easily it'zzz. oh my god it's been so good. i literally imitate yeji yelling "MAC" into the void on a daily basis because it makes me giggle every time. my one true wish is for it'zzz season 2 when lia comes back

wdzy or twinzy? who looks most like their cartoon counterparts?

prefacing this by saying i do genuinely like twinzy, i think they're super cute! that being said it's easily wdzy. members were more involved in their creation, the designs are more unique/distinct, and honestly just more fun. for twinzy i think kkengee looks most like yeji, and for wdzy it's gotta be my fav tuk (when ryujin's got her ears popping out the hoodie) or lya!

favorite title track? favorite era?

fav title track is SO tough there's so many good ones. ugh. honestly it might be cheshire?? that was the first itzy title track that got Stuck In My Head and then i had to listen to their entire discography lol. my favorite era as a whole is easily kill my doubt.

i think that entire EP is phenomenal, and it's what made me really hop on the itzy train in a permanent way (i became a fan during that comeback). bet on me and none of my business are the reason i survived the last year of my phd program lol

also like...their styling in that era (esp their hair)? ELITE. (blonde lia...i'm on my knees...wtf...)

favorite solo covers/performances from each of the members?

this is so tough oh my god uh...

lia - can't take my eyes off of you

hearing lia sing this is one of the major things that made me want to look into itzy in the first place. i wish lia would sing more jazzy/r&b stuff, her voice is so suited for it

yeji - river

idk if dance covers are included here but if so then obviously river. her stage with hyunjin was insane too. if no dance covers then...hotter than hell

ryujin - every second

i love every second, and i especially love ryu's cover of it. i legit listen to it all the time. lemon might be taking over its spot but we'll see

chaeryeong - 10 minutes/chitty chitty bang bang

ok i know this was a catz line (+yuna) performance but i literally go back to it constantly specifically for chaeryeong oh my god SHE!!!

yuna: u-go-girl

i mean. it's yuna's Statement performance. feels wrong to go with anything else

any concepts you want itzy to try in the future?

this is also tough! itzy has proven they can basically rock any concept so it's hard to say really. in terms of styling i would really love to see them go a little more masc (like the airport fits in the algorhythm mv) and do at least some r&b (like stuff in the direction of mr. vampire, especially when lia comes back)...i guess like to see them do a darker more mature concept but not girl crush bc i feel like we've seen them do that.

more than anything i'd say what i want is for the girls to have more creative control of their direction in concept, styling, and music. i think they have all shown themselves to be incredibly thoughtful and talented in those respects, beyond performance, and i'd be really interested to see what they come up with together if given the opportunity for input. fingers crossed that the solo projects on born to be were indicative of that becoming the new norm.

[abcdosaka]

i have such a love hate relationship with how gege writes women like he’s tackling the oppression of women and yet the women aren’t the important part of that conversation like he keeps killing them off 💀 it’s like how the walking dead would introduce a black character and immediately kill the previous main cast member black character

☝️ thing i can’t fault him for is that every female char is incredibly likeable. except maybe hana but tbh i still like her bc i could forgive women for anything she just got done dirty by the narrative. same with remi but honestly, instead of disliking her she made me dislike fushiguro a bit. (it’s not that i thought he’s at fault for anything i just disliked the set up for that arc) personally i think those two were the only major fumble writing wise. oh and tsumiki although i guess there wasn’t much more for her to do i was hoping she’d be more than a plot device (she was likeable anyway she made me like fushiguro more lmao)

omg i just realized what they all have in common is that they’re all related to fushiguro somehow.

another thing he does well is giving them their MOMENTS which to me is kinda more important than their depth in a battle shonen. like almost all the female combatants get a super raw moment. even hana shining that light on meguna was soo beautiful like idk that sticks out in my mind (until she fucked it up ofc)

nobara i think was actually rly well done. i still think there’s hope she’ll come back tbh. even though i said otherwise that’s just me pretending idc. yuki had a really good fight and she was so charismatic that i can forgive her death being related to choso so much (also bc i like choso). i just really wish we could have seen more of her earlier and know more abt her, esp her being a star plasma vessel, ik she was a supporting character but i was so hyped to see her in action. she’s one of my favs. tengen is also low key a fav even tho she didn’t rly do anything she’s well established and idk i just like her. uro is another fav who i need to see more of i hope she isn’t done for i feel like she got spared for a reason. yorozu was pure comedy i liked her and i kinda miss her i wish she stuck around longer. i stanned mai from her first appearance. maki is obviously my queen no words needed. i also thought momo was super cute and i still wanna know wtf that miwa panel was in the cg arc i think that was a genuine he forgot moment. mei mei and momjaku are freaks but i like them both they really help set the tone

ig the only issues are that 1) they keep dying and 2) their most important moments are related to a man somehow. i guess it makes sense bc it is aimed at a male audience but like if you’re writing abt women’s issues then you have to acknowledge the women in question as…people? that’s not rly what i mean to say but idk how else to phrase it. it feels like he wants to do a good job tackling these issues but he doesn’t rly get the core of the issue.

anyway it sounds like i’m shitting on him but the fact that he’s clearly making an attempt at expanding on the female characters instead of being like “here bitch damn” (and it’s a girl who gets one chapter of depth and is written out immediately after) is what actually touches my heart. altho ig he kinda did that with everyone but maki like i remember being surprised he went so far in the perfect prep arc for maki like i didn’t think she’d get a power up like that. and then in the sakurajima colony arc i didn’t know she’d continue to be relevant and then jumping sukuna with yuji like okayyy

the nice part of never getting fed is that crumbs are so delicious and nutritious for me. anyway i believe in kenjaku (old woman) x tengen heian era old woman yuri

[indieninja92]

actually i wanna hear about the top 5 books youre looking forward to as well :D

ohh my god ok so most of these are literally books i have in my house right now - literally in the same room as me actually, and some of them ive had for aaages but just havent got to yet lmao

1 - london and the culture of homosexuality 1985-1914 by matt cook. ive started this one and its very good, it moves through different spheres of queer life in london during the time period and looks at them each in turn. really good stuff, im not very far in but i want to finish it so badly.

2 - queer london: perils and pleasures in the sexual metropolis, 1918-1957 by matt houlbrook. look i know what i like and its british queer history of a certain era lol i wish there was more stuff out there about not-london in this late 19th, early 20th century period but if there is, i havent come across it yet. ive like matt houlbrook's work before, its usually good scholarship and decently easy to read (for an academic text)

3 - the book of trespass by nick hayes. another non-fiction! this one ive had out of the library for a month and havent read more than two chapters lmao its about the development of ideas of land ownership and trespassing, and mixes a kind of urgent anger at the feeling that we do actually deserve to walk on the earth where we live with a joyfulness at the author's own trespassing adventures.

4 - nona the ninth by tamsyn muir. i know everyone and their nans has already read this, but my mother in law has got me gideon and then harrow for the past couple of christmases and i think shes getting me nona this year so ive been waiting! cant wait to read it and have no idea wtf is going on. genuinely mad that this series gets recced as "lesbian necromancers in space" when it is so so so much richer and more interesting than that!

5 - war and peace! i signed up for the emails. im signed up for moby dick too but im less excited about that bc ive already read a good amount of it, but ive never picked up war and peace and probably wouldnt if it werent for the trend of classic lit in your inbox.

[fcb-mv33]

Hii Red Anon here again ❤️

You and that other Anon making me blush ☺️.

Don’t get me wrong I only started watching F1 at the end of 2020, and 2021 fully made me watch and the passion Max would drive that Redbull I can honestly see why my brother is a big fan of Max, I got the subscription of F1 Tv to watch back on past races (being from England and watching Sky 🫠) I watched Max’s first win in Spain and they way he kept Kimi behind him, no one can take away Max’s accomplishments, I see comments like FIA in Jos pockets and I’m like huh 🫠 really 😂, it’s time for the Youngsters to shine now it’s a new era of racers.

Out of the Sky commentators I really like Jenson he’s never bias he will call out Lewis and Max and give detailed discussions why, Naomi sometimes I’m like yessss and others I’m like really (the Max, George Baku debate), Martin I’m so/so with him I seen past races when he’s like I’m a big fan of Max.

As a journalist/Commentator you have to be neutral over everything even if you like that person.

The reason why I came with the receipts is because we all know people would bash me and say that I’m lying (google is there for a reason).

Yuki may be my favourite driver but I will cheer Max on and honestly the Max fans I’ve seen on here are so respectful, and the way they defend him and the F1 drivers, the Lewis fans on here well I’ve only seen a very fair few that like Max.

The bullying and abuse Max gets is horrible and wrong, the racist abuse Lewis gets is horrible both should never get that and I look at these people on Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr and I’m like why would you do this you cyber bully someone how would you like it if someone you know, your kid, your sibling got cyber bullied or if in the future they get called by their kids school saying that their kid is cyber bullying people and their kid turns round saying you did it honestly i do not get people.

Yes the drivers say things that makes you question them, yes you may dislike a driver that’s fine but why abuse them on social media, when I saw them fans in Miami flipping Max off and telling him to Fu*k Off I’m like you’ve spent £1,000+ on tickets just to do that wtf.

I will fully defend Max no matter what he’s done nothing but put his life into racing.

I would absolutely love for Max to win Brazil and Sliverstone and Mexico this year just to spite all the Lewis British and Brazilian fans and even the toxic Checo fans.

Kinda wish this year I was sitting with all the Max fans at Sliverstone.

Hopefully next year I get to see a race 😁



F1tv has honestly been a blessing. I’ve watched the full seasons since 2015 when Max joined and even in 2015 he was genuinely a joy to watch, annoying the living life out of everyone (except Nando) for being 17. People comment sometimes saying he’s a paid driver but when you do a deep dive into his stats as a child I mean Jesus they are so so impressive and also no amount of pull could get a 17 year old into a car if he wasn’t insanely talented. Which Max is.

I fully don’t like any of the commentators except Jenson. They have chatted so much shit since Baku and the start of the season. Constantly acting like Max is ruining the sport, is a spoilt child when he’s just Max. They choose to be ignorant of who he is, the way he is and the talent he is because he’s not British and it’s a shame. I swear the amount of times I’ve seen them trying to say George would match Max is literally criminal.

Honestly I’ve really strong opinions on the hate Max gets and how it’s seen as basically okay. It’s been that way since 2021 when Merc and lh would send their fans to abuse Max but give out about the booing or cheers in 2022 when they sat by and said nothing about their fans week in week out wishing death on Max, his gf, his mother, his sister and her two little boys. The hate Max gets is according to some “deserved” all because he destroyed Merc in 2021. He out drove Lewis in 70% of the time when Merc didn’t take him out. I think the abuse not being called out is fucking vile and that’s why I constantly call it out.

[dearweirdme]

it's not about being a company stan, it's about tae solos and taekookers victimizing tae at every opportunity and projecting their own hatred and wishes onto him, wishing for him to leave hybe when we genuinely cannot know the exact relationship between tae and hybe

one thing is for sure tho, a corporation like hybe has no reason to allienate one of their most successful artists, most of the things people throw at them can be explained when you literally just know wtf you're talking about which most people don't anyway, they just cry injustice at everything, like the promo for jinny's kitchen, we don't know the exact contract tae had with them, it makes sense that the producers of the show had reign on how to promote the show and not hybe, siminvest too

there is legitimate criticism to be thrown at hybe for sure, they are a corporation after all and no corporation is perfect or wholly ethical but a lot of the times it gets drowned out by things we don't know enough about or straight up things that don't matter

anyway, I'm genuinely tired of this persona people keep pushing on tae, they want him to leave bts but he won't and I know that makes people mad

Hi anon!

Yeah, I agree with your thoughts. I think part of the weirdness people perceive comes from the unfamiliarity this solo era brings. And apparently there’s many fans that don’t actually like BTS as a group, yet merely one member.

I’ve read so many takes on members competing against each other, members being held back or favored, members not wanting to be part of the group anymore… and it’s always different members. There’s no consensus at all. So yeah, you are probably right about solo’s. To them their member is special and deserves a pedestal. What they don’t realize is that members themselves want to share that pedestal. If you look at how members interact and talk about each other, there’s so much love and respect there. They are a team still.

[singsweetmelodies]

just stopping by to say: you've had SEVEN accounts over ELEVEN years in fandom?? you actually are a legend, wtf. any chance you can reveal some of the other fandoms you've written for? 👀 no need to answer if it's too personal or if you're not comfortable revealing it btw!!

ahhhh, anon, you'll make me blush 🙈🙈😍🙈 YOU are the actual legend for sending this ask!! ❤️❤️ also, omg, noooo worries, i don't mind answering at all - i am also an incredibly nosy person, lmaooo, so i completely get wanting to be curious about everything you can, hehe.

and as for fandoms: i'm not going to reveal absolutely all of them (mostly because i'm too lazy to go open up all 7 accounts AGAIN and check, so i'll most likely forget some, lmao 😆🥲) but also bcs there are one or two i'm redacting for shame, kslldjdhdhdgdhdgdhdggdd 🙈

ANYWAYS. let's get to it - here's a list of many of the fandoms i've written for over the past 11 years, in the order of how quickly my brain remembers them lmao. also! pls note that these are only the fandoms i've written for. the ones i've READ for are absolutely impossible to count, i fear 😅😅

and now with the disclaimers and whatnot done - the list:

Harry Potter (specifically, Marauders Era)

Avengers 2012 (specifically, Clintasha)

Once Upon A Time (Captain Swan beloved)

Marvel's Agents of SHIELD (definitely the fandom I've written the most for to date)

Star Wars (Reylo. sorrynotsorry)

Supergirl (Supercorp, of course)

Star Trek: Discovery (one fic in total but it counts)

Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist (again, one fic, but I loved this quirky little series very dearly)

The Queen's Gambit (this is the one I completely forgot I ever wrote fic for, and was pleasantly surprised to remember lmao)

Six of Crows (Kanej forever!!)

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (Sambucky, of course)

Black Widow 2021 (specifically, the fascinating and excellent Natasha & Yelena & Melina & Alexei dynamic)

Miraculous Ladybug (shut UP, the content in this fandom is genuinely god-tier)

Spider-Man Homecoming & No Way Home (Spideychelle <333)

Arrow (I never finished this show but by god I had my Olicity obsession. also. Sara Lance!!)

Arcane (one fic but God I wish I'd had spoons to write more because this show is awesome. Caitvi 😍😍)

Avatar The Last Airbender (OH MY GOD almost forgot this one but how could i. this show is so good!!)

there you have it, anon! 🥰 insanity that has spanned 11 years, lmao. but this is only a fraction of the true insanity, really - there are SO many fandoms where i just lurked, and obsessively read fic, but never posted anything of my own 🥲🙈 anyways!! looking at this all again has definitely been A Ride for me. i do hope you enjoyed(?) the answer - pls do tell me if anything here is a massive surprise, or not surprising at all, lmao. i of course believe my taste is impeccable, but please do tell me what you think too <333

[1d1195]

SAMANTHA WDYM YOU JUST LEFT THE ENDING LIKE THAT?!? HELLO BESTIE WTF😭BUT YOU KNOW I LOVE THE DRAMA OF A CLIFFHANGER!!! Idk where to begin bc I feel like I gobbled this part up right up that I might have missed some details lol anyways LOVED knowing that Harry missed her birthday and yelled at her just so he can suffer a bit more 😁 I also love how you write them having their domestic moments with Cece, it’s just so adorable! Kinda also loved that he spiraled just a tiny bit thinking she was pregnant when she asked about paternity leave HAHAH(idk what’s wrong me bc I’m loving seeing honey H suffer?!?) but omg the Christmas part he literally stayed for her😭😭 he’s so in love omg 😭 now bestie what was going through his head picking her up like that with no warning?! If I was her I would short circuit 😭 and their first omg😭😭 my mind is literally going crazy on how this will all pan out in the next part! You of course did an amazing job! Loved it as always❤️

I totally get being afraid of dentist! Personally never had problems with them but the idea of having someone put tools in one’s mouth is crazy! But I’m so glad you finally found a good dentist!! Especially since it gave us toothpaste 🤭 but no really having actual health care professionals that you feel comfortable enough with is the biggest WIN!

15k WORDS?!?! Omg that’s genuinely so impressive! But I do love that sudden inspo especially when in the moment you’re so in love with the idea! It’s a pretty addicting feeling lol I don’t blame you for not wanting to let them go! I fear I will feel the same when we get the final part 😭

I do love donating things in general but my books have always been a struggle lol I’m currently in the process of donating some of my “middle school era” books and I’m having so much fun skimming/re-reading them bc I WAS CRAZY for reading them in the first place HAHA

Girl I wish it was 50-60 degrees right now😭 we’ve had such a horrible heat wave this past week and this past weekend was BRUTAL😭 lowest was about 90 😔 I also had a power outage which was LAME!! Anyways I say decorate for the fall! I bet you’re absolutely amazing at decorating!! It just seems like your vibe and I love that for you!

Hope you had a lovely weekend whether it was productive or not! Also sending you the best vibe for the start of the week!you absolutely got this!! LOVE YOU!!-💜

FULL NAME!!!! I put it in one of the tags of feedback reblogs but I think missing a bday is my favorite micro-trope. I'm right there with you I love to make him suffer 💕 I've been hanging out with my baby niece (actually cousin) more recently and frequently and so my baby fever is like 💥 right in my face so I have a LOT of ideas for Cece and such. He's so jealous it's unreal. I love it so much 😍 HE'S SO EXTRA but also like really trying to make it casual when he touches her. He's so 😍 She def short-circuited. I probs didn't do a good job of writing it as such because I was focused on how it would feel to have him pick her up hehehehehe thank you for enjoying it 💕

I totally get being afraid of dentist! Personally never had problems with them but the idea of having someone put tools in one’s mouth is crazy! But I’m so glad you finally found a good dentist!! Especially since it gave us toothpaste 🤭 but no really having actual health care professionals that you feel comfortable enough with is the biggest WIN!

Omg I also have tons of dental issues all the time. The character trait I share most with the MC is that she and I both have cavities ALL the time. I also had to have some reconstructive surgery as well (thanks genetics) plus wisdom teeth. Etc. I had so many issues all at once I genuinely thought I could have been a dentist because I learned so much. I grew up in a small town so my neighbor is actually my dentist but I didn't have the right health insurance for a while to go to her practice (America, ya know?) so it was a lot.

I LOVE a reread of my middle school era books. I think I told you I was a huge Twilight fan. Nothing makes me feel more alive than rereading Twilight snippets 😍 I also loved this trilogy about this girl who could see other people's dreams like really lucidly. I loved it so much and I refuse to part with it through all my book donations. I also read this series that was semi-supernatural? I don't have a better word for it. She could like see the future through touch and through sculpting. I think it was my favorite series ever the male main lead was named Ben and I was OBSESSED. Okay actually I thought of like five more YA books I read and obsessed over so I'm going to stop here before I never shut up 😭

HEAT WAVE POWER OUTAGE. I would sit in the shower. Ugh. 90 🤮 I would scream. It's like 70-80 here. AND the heat compressor broke so my room was a balmy/toasty temperature this morning when I got to work. INSANE. I decorated 😍 Idk if I'm any good at it, but I just enjoy fall a lot and I like fall things. I did what I could. I'm def not a cover every surface but I try to make it look tasteful and not tacky.

I DID have a lovely pretty relaxing weekend. I'm having a pretty good week too *knock on wood* busy but productive 💕

Are you up to anything fun? You have time off before your term restarts right? I hope you have fun things planned and you get to go thrifting and to a drag show brunch 😍 LOVE YOU!

xoxo

[vizthedatum]

CW: Unhinged and loving it (also a vent):

I HAD MY FIRST HRT APPT TODAY AND I AM VERY WOOZY FROM TRANS EXCITEMENT, A LOT OF BLOOD DRAWS, A POSSIBLE INFECTION (currently unconfirmed and it could just be an autoimmune flare up) I WAS NOT AWARE OF, MY STUPID PERIOD, THE MYSTERIOUS NOISE FROM NEXT DOOR THAT JUST WON’T STOP, DEALING WITH MY STUPID CODEPENDENCY, LOVE FOR MY FRIENDS, A LACK OF ENOUGH FOOD TODAY, OVERWORKING AT WORK, AND BEING SINGLE.

It’s been a long month.

It’s been a long life.

—

I hate my ex-spouse and while I wish them healing and peace, they can quite literally self-sabotage themselves to oblivion and I will not flinch. In my world, they don’t exist except in my memories. I gave them the best I could - and they threw me away like I was trash. I hope their teeth rot out of their skull and they lose the ability to code in any code editor (a special Midas touch where every code editor they try to use will spit out incomprehensible code) - wow isn’t that so mean?

Omg wasn’t I the fucking “worst thing in your life” babe? Omg aren’t I just the worst? Aren’t I so silly?? Aren’t I so stupid that I didn’t press criminal charges against you because I loved you that much?

You roll your eyes in your well-practiced gaslighting manner, while you’re reading this even though you know it’s healthier for you not to: wow they’re so dramatic and unhinged, you think while downing your seventh energy drink and dissociating with drugs and video games.

To be quite honest… venting like this is therapeutic and cathartic for me. I am being completely genuine about this. You know what’s the traumatic part? Telling my new healthcare professionals while I’m going in for a much anticipated HRT appointment that I was abused by not only you but by so many people - that I am still traumatized by IUDs and by your stupid psychological abuse that I begged you to get help for. Yeah that’s what I’m bothered by.

But blogging and venting about all of it since I left… and looking at the beautiful life I have created and am still creating (even if I have my struggles)… THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER. I love that you’re completely out of my life.

I want to be even more monstrous than that pathetic ex made me out to be. That’s the goal: ULTIMATE VILLAIN ERA.

You think I was horrible back then? Watch me glow up and act even more unhinged. Watch me have my life together in ways you couldn’t even dream of.

—

More woozy venting:

SO for all the “straight cis guys” who have ever dated me: YOU ARE GAY

And for all the losers who benefited from me chasing them in a very self-admittedly toxic way: YOU GOTTA GO TO THERAPY TOO BABES

And to the Zionist I regrettably fucked in 2017: YOU WILL GET YOUR KARMA IN THE MOST UNEXPECTED WAY

And to one of my ex-partners from last year: YOU ARE VERY CORRECT IN YOUR SELF-ASSESSMENT THAT YOU ARE A SOCIOPATH

And to my parents: WTF - NO ACTUALLY WTF.

And to anyone who has ever hurt me or assaulted me: I am so sorry for whatever trauma you’re going through that enabled you to make those choices AND I FUCKING CURSE YOU

—

And to me: I don’t care anymore. I don’t have to justify my kindness or my fallibility as a human being. I don’t have to always be right. I certainly don’t want to feel like I’m crazy when I AM NOT. I don’t have to accept hurtful behavior and I don’t need a reason to. I don’t need to ignore hurtful things I do to myself. I am fine as I am.

(Well currently I’m running on very low sleep, low food intake, just had a very intense blood draw, and am on my period. I’m also nervous about my surgery tomorrow.

I am genuinely okay though. I am safe, and I am saner than I have been for a long time.)

[bisluthq]

Genuinely wtf is wrong with being publicly open about being in love with someone?

nothing lol - they’re just being fun and silly. And it is silly. But love… is. Like it’s probably the silliest of all the emotions. That’s Inside Out 3 material right there. Romantic love is literally the dumbest thing you can feel like by far. But it’s also… fun. And that’s the vibe I get from Tayvis like it’s super stupid but they’re having the time of their lives and I don’t dig raining on their parades. Let people enjoy their own giddiness.

Idk I was talking to Dr Blank Space today because it was my birthday and my two major exes didn’t wish me a happy birthday and I feel that was very rude of them lol and now my petty ass won’t wish them like guess they’re in London toDAY and I don’t wanna miss them in ANY way but you can just send a HB that’s like the appropriate thing to do like both of you little cunts sent me Eras content but you don’t wish me a HB? So rude. And I was very like on my high horse about this right as you can see and my friend was like “dude you literally have your own thing going on and it’s nice they sent you the Eras stuff and that’s kinda more thinking about you because they can’t go to Taylor Swift without thinking of you than a HB message” and I was like “actually that’s true” 💀💀 let me enjoy my eras tour content and my own giddiness and also lowkey fuck my exes and I won’t wish them next time (I probably still will because I am the better person lol)

[elaichoi]

the v v v first time i saw ur acct was when u had the yeonjun prive alliance layout ^3^ those reincarnation aus made me saur emo T^T

i luv that for u agghh<3 not that there's anything wrong w it,but i find it most satisfying when ppl get into kpop from kpop-genre songs rather than western-sounding kpop songs lol my first kpop artists were b2st (highlight) and t-ara hehe

mhm yea mayybbe! i know 100% why i don't post them and its cos i used to be consistent w posting on both kpop & personal socmed accts but mental health happens and i kinda stopped bc numbers make me want 2 cry lmfao

except im slightly less mentally ill since that time now and yk i actually genuinely do rlly want to start all my socmed accts up again but im putting it off bc im a bit of a perfectionist and so im lazy to be doing all dat... all of nothin :D don't call the orderly i'm fine ^_^ /lh

2019-21? ah probably not then i'm pretty sure i was in and out of the school roster (pls tell me if i am oversharing/trauma dumping/crossing any boundaries bc i genuinely do not know i no longer have any social skills T_T /gen /srs)

hm i'm not sure tbh i only followed the one 😭😭 i haven't been on wattpad in a long ass time and i remember i tried seeing what wattpad was like nowadays and was v disappointed w the ads and paid stuff (i think i don't remember). booooo 👎👎

omg wait that's so cool aaaaah!!! i changed my user a lot so i honestly could not tell u bc i have goldfish memory ;__; i do remember i had a user like taempons(_) i think it had an underscore idk don't remember but i changed it (kinda wish i saved it ngl) and oh one i do remember was peachyjihoons (my wannaone phase lmao) but yeah im pretty sure my most recent user was some based on some tumblr shit like svnshine or something idfk 💀💀

u are already a talented writer save some for the rest of us 👺 /j if u could also draw u would be too powerful 👁️👄👁️

omg THAT WAS MY FIRST LAYOUT TOO!! this account isn't that old tbh i still haven't gotten the feel of writing smuts as of yet that's why i havent been much active on it BUT WAIT REINCARNATION AU?!? from my main???

DUDE I LOVE B2ST!!!! and t-ara!!!!!!!! i really got into kpop slowly because i fell for kdrama at first (found replay in one of the kdrama edit lmao) so like my music journey has been very, very kpop ish. i think the global influence in most of kpop songs started to become mroe prominent during 2018?

bro i get you like the fear of starting the stuff you love because you feel like you won't be able to give it all and starting it and feeling it like you're gonna disappoint yourself. i hadn't started anything since like 2017 until recently because i was scared i was gonna stumble, or it won't be good ( well mostly that) or i won't be able to finish that. me and my bff still has this one project we started around like 2018 lmao we both still haven't finished it or picked it up bc we developed the idea sm and got so close to it that we fear writing it now.

not OVERSHARINH I WANNA KNOW!!! NO but like FR wattpad went through the biggest glow down IVE EVer seen like. it's legit LEGIT inhabitable. like at first you take away the newsfeed?!? like how am i gonna pine over other accounts now?!? and then everything became paid and shit like wtf is that?!

omg i wonder if I ever saw you on my explore page or tags bro fr this is so interesting my ig handle has always been one tbh it's @celestialsoo ( my intense love affair with kyungsoo era) like since the dawn of the day.

YOU LIE!!!!! i wish i could fr draw tho i want to draw my muses :///

[hyunverse]

okay so i am DEF not tearing up at how adorable that playlist is wtf 😭💔💔💔 that is literally the cutest thing i’ve ever seen and all those songs are so perfect for him. so soft rn i love it. ALSO ROMEO AND JULIET INSPO ?? MY HEART IS EVEN MORE BROKEN NOW 😩 when i used to write fanfics, dialogue was always my fave part too :)). i feel like you can do so much w it and express so much so easily yk ? and hyunjin dialogue always make me weak in the knees like you guys just know how to write him and write what he’d say so accurately

wishing you luck at bowling today and also for the skz album 🙏🏼 being the oldest sibling, i would 100% buy my siblings an album if they were into kpop so hopefully he’ll do the same

andddd gonna make it easier for you and reply to my other one here ^_^ apologies again for how frazzled i am 😭 but yea the lip piercing on hyunjin just…. no words can explain. like genuinely i cannot explain the way it makes me feel. it’s just perfect. and good lord purple minho 😩😩😩 THE FLUFFY STYLING TOO ??? EVEN BETTER. LIKE ITS SO GOOD ??? i need more colored hair minho i feel like it’s so underrated. AND SEUNGMIN i wanna see more colors on him bc his hair is so perfect. or even bringing the pink bangs back.. yes please 🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

- 🐈‍⬛

i feel like a majority of stayblr writers are able to write so well for him due to the fact that he is a complete hopeless romantic. it’s easy for romance writers to write him because he himself is the epitome of romance, you get me? written by a woman type of man. it’s also why i find it easy to make a playlist for him, cause i feel like any love songs would suit hyune </3 you’re right, dialogues are super fun. says a lot about a character and i would say dialogues are the most impactful parts in a fic!!

it’d be tmr for me! it is still the same day rn hehe, wednesday, eighth of march here ^__^ my timezone is gmt +8. what’s yours, if you don’t mind me asking? i’m also actually the oldest sibling, so we’re twinning again hehehe. ‘m always the one to buy my siblings things, so it wouldn’t hurt to ask for something just ONCE, right. . . ? (completely ignoring how i one time coaxed my brother into buying me genshin impact primogems LOL)

don’t apologize, milov. i, too, am a mess. i honestly feel like i could ramble to u abt anything for ages. one of it being hyunjin’s (alleged) tongue piercing predebut AND that belly button piercing in play with fire dance cover 🗣 mmm curls deffo look good on minho. likeeeeeeee brooooo. makes him look all boyish and and dreamy and and looking like my future hubby 🤠 you don’t understand just what i would do to get strawberry blonde minho. gonna call him my strawb strawbs 💭 for the love of god jype pls change seungmin’s hair colour sometimes 😔🙏 that hairstyle he had during 2022 mama awards tho? bias wrecked everybody and they mamas. i was left absolutely BAFFLED. a couple of stays i know ended up seungmin biased because of the look and I GET IT 💯 maxident was his era too HE OWNEDDDDD IT WITH THEM PINK BANGS. i need and i mean i NEED that blue hyune had on seungmin. grunge seungmin would END kpop i’m telling UUU. omw to the cuties dorm to put hair dye in his shampoo, wanna join? we can put some in minho’s shampoo too zzzZzz.

[astranva]

Good Influence Podcast: Fans' Reaction

Word Count: 1.5k

Category: Angst-ish

Warning: few curse words

Summary: Fans react to Harry’s episode on Good Influence podcast where he talked about bsgf!yn.

Backstage Girlfriend!Universe Masterlist

..

Liked by annetwist and 638,973 others

goodinfluencegs OUT NOW!⭐️ This is a special one. This week, I’m chatting with my brother, Harry Styles @harrystyles, as he talks about his relationship, self-accountability, and emotional vulnerability. This one means a lot to me because it’s always an interesting conversation when someone opens up about their feelings. Listen wherever you get your podcasts ⭐️

Comments

user1 3 months after y/n’s podcast too

user2 just listened to it. i’ve been a fan of harry’s for so many years and not once has he ever been this honest, open and direct. it’s so clear how much his relationship with y/n meant and how much influence she has on his personality. it’s really sad that things ended between them because harry was basically a shit boyfriend but from what i see, they’re both dealing with it differently. i wish him growth and healing 🥹

user3 THE WAY HE SLIPPED UP AND SAID HER NAME

↳ user4 I NOTICED IT TOO I LITERALLY SCREAMED

↳ user5 i already knew he was talking about her but nothing could’ve prepared me for hearing him actually say it

user6 i know he’s human and makes mistakes, but when he said he was loved and supported in the relationship and that y/n would have gone to the ends of the world for him and how she basically told him that his career doesn’t matter unless HE’s okay and believes that he’s worth more than work…and then he still went ahead and broke her heart…ik we don’t know exactly what happened but i think i lost so much respect for him :/

↳ user7 i agree so much with you. i’d react the same way if he wasn’t a celebrity too. like he literally said he took advantage of her and people are still stanning him 😀

↳ user8 @user6 @user7 why are you acting as if him admitting it means nothing? he’s obviously working on himself and beating himself up for it. why do you have to make it worse for him?

122,937 likes

harryupdatesacc I know it’s not the time…but unseens of Harry and Y/N via louiseburcham & mutualfriendwhowasprivateonig

Comments

user1 they look so good together 🥲

user2 the fact that there were people who thought they were “platonic soulmates” when they were literally together

user3 harry really left THIS for his fucking director whom he has no chemistry with 🤡

user4 yall still stan him?

↳ user5 yes.

↳ user6 @user5 L

↳ user7 ^^ do you realize that there are so many things we don’t know?

↳ user6 @user7 he literally admitted that he broke her heart and took advantage of her love for him?? what are u on about

↳ user8 @user6 and he apologized and y/n forgave him. why are you upset? he obviously feels like shit and he said it and he LOOKS it. Y/N moved on so how about you do too?

user9 2022 didn’t have to show me that harry is a toxic boyfriend and ex

↳ user10 how is he toxic though? he apologized and he came clean. genuinely asking, not trying to fight 💗

↳ user9 @user10 besides hurting y/n and as he said “broke her heart”, if the theories are true then he put his acting career and publicity first and agreed to the holivia stunt when he was with someone. he talks about y/n so much (ik it’s the interviewers’ fault but he knows better than to keep mentioning her name and can stop them from talking about her)

↳ user9 @user10 he still follows her on instagram (she unfollowed him 5 days after ONO london) and tbh i feel like that’s just…no.

user11 “toxicrry era” don’t call yourself a fan when you attack your fave like that wtf

↳ user12 even harry himself called himself toxic and that what he did was fucked up. you don’t have to be far up his ass 24/7 😘

user13 you’re acting as if y/n is angel 🤡

↳ user14 ….she is though

↳ user13 @user13 not you calling someone who took advantage of harry’s fame and now joe’s fame “an angel” lmfao

↳ user14 believe it or not, women can be in relationships with famous people and still be hardworking and make their own living😭 just because she works in the industry doesn’t mean she took advantage of any of them. besides, not YOU calling someone who made harry happy and put his mental health first anything but an angel but go off i guess

Twitter

@user1twitterhandle

y/n talking about harry: “he’s an amazing person with the biggest heart and admirable character”

harry about y/n: “i’m just a jealous son of a bitch at the end of the day”

652 Retweets 63 Quote Tweets 1,729 Likes

↳ user2 @user2twitterhandle

Replying to @user1twitterhandle

that’s literally not what he said? did you seriously disregard that he only praised her during the entire podcast? wtf touch some grass

293 Retweets 18 Quote Tweets 2.7K Likes

@user3twitterhandle

say what you want to say, y/n will always be harry’s “the one that got away”

14.8K Retweets 28 Quote Tweets 29.5K Likes

@user4twittrthandle

i wish he admitted that holivia was a stunt and that it was y/n who was his girlfriend all along though

104 Retweets 14 Quote Tweets 303 Likes

@user5twitterhandle

the fact that he SPOKE about it shows us how real this relationship was. y/n is the love of his fucking life. he has never felt like that about anyone before

8.2K Retweets 87 Quote Tweets 26.1K Likes

@user6twitterhandle

y/n telling harry “you owe it to yourself to grow in more ways that your songs and career allow you to”. end tweet

28.1K Retweets 102 Quote Tweets 84.8K Likes

@user7twitterhandle

“it’s important to me that people realize that the person who stands on a stage can also be the same person who broke someone’s heart.” - harry on ‘Good Influence’

37K Retweets 294 Quote Tweets 173.5K Likes

↳ user8 @user8twitterhandle

Replying to @user7twitterhandle

idk but hearing that felt like a punch to my gut. it’s so real. it’s awakening.

183 Retweets 6 Quote Tweets 872 Likes

TikTok

As always, there were a lot of videos on the app of people reacting to the podcast that nobody had expected; people crying, screaming, talking, and every possible reaction that one could show.

In a 736K liked TikTok video, a fan was sitting in her car—a common setting that was used, and one that had you feeling like it was going to be a good one—starting the 3-minute video by taking a breath.

“Let’s talk,” she said before the video cut to her again, “What the fuck? What the actual fuck?” She began, pinching her nose and looking outside the window before looking back at her phone, “So, for those who don’t know, Harry talked about Y/N, his ex, on his sister’s podcast and he said a lot of things.

“One,” she raised a finger, “That he broke her heart. It was him who hurt her. Two,” two fingers, “She gave him nothing but love and support and basically was—was an amazing girlfriend. Three,” three fingers, “He could’ve done better. And four,” four fingers, “That he’s basically jealous of Joe—Joe Keery, who’s currently Y/N’s boyfriend,” she said.

The girl then sighed, “It’s good that Harry, like—It’s good that he talked about this and that he’s trying to heal. I think it shows how mature their relationship was even if it went to shit, but,” she pursed her lips for a second, “I think we should all know that publicity stunts happen in the industry and Harry’s relationship with Y/N was caught in the middle—it got hurt, got abused in the middle. You guys can’t think like, oh no, Harry lied to us about Olivia.

“Because that’s just childish. Fake relationships suck, sure, but they happen. And I will not be getting into discussions of whether Holivia was fake or not because,” she raised a hand up, “It literally was. Because according to timelines and the leaked pictures, Harry and Y/N were together for 3 years.”

Nevertheless, people in her comments still commented about feeling betrayed by Harry for being part in a publicity stunt.

In another TikTok video, a clip from Harry’s Coachella performance of Boyfriends was added as he talked:

“To boyfriends everywhere,” he said, before the video cut to a leaked picture of you and Harry, “Fuck you,” Harry’s voice said before the text was written right under Harry’s face in the picture.

In another viral video, it was Brittany Broski, her mascara smudged with tears as she cried, with music from the song Somewhere Only We Know by Keane playing, and with two texts over her head:

""It’s not your breakup, why the hell are u crying?"" and "Harry styles what the fuck is your problem"

The video then shifted to the two most recent leaked pictures of you and Harry as a guitar was added to the background sound, and another text, and a quote that Harry had said in the podcast, was added:

“You never knew you had it in you to hurt the one person you love.”