#bladder surgery

[vizthedatum]

CW: Unhinged and loving it (also a vent):

I HAD MY FIRST HRT APPT TODAY AND I AM VERY WOOZY FROM TRANS EXCITEMENT, A LOT OF BLOOD DRAWS, A POSSIBLE INFECTION (currently unconfirmed and it could just be an autoimmune flare up) I WAS NOT AWARE OF, MY STUPID PERIOD, THE MYSTERIOUS NOISE FROM NEXT DOOR THAT JUST WON’T STOP, DEALING WITH MY STUPID CODEPENDENCY, LOVE FOR MY FRIENDS, A LACK OF ENOUGH FOOD TODAY, OVERWORKING AT WORK, AND BEING SINGLE.

It’s been a long month.

It’s been a long life.

—

I hate my ex-spouse and while I wish them healing and peace, they can quite literally self-sabotage themselves to oblivion and I will not flinch. In my world, they don’t exist except in my memories. I gave them the best I could - and they threw me away like I was trash. I hope their teeth rot out of their skull and they lose the ability to code in any code editor (a special Midas touch where every code editor they try to use will spit out incomprehensible code) - wow isn’t that so mean?

Omg wasn’t I the fucking “worst thing in your life” babe? Omg aren’t I just the worst? Aren’t I so silly?? Aren’t I so stupid that I didn’t press criminal charges against you because I loved you that much?

You roll your eyes in your well-practiced gaslighting manner, while you’re reading this even though you know it’s healthier for you not to: wow they’re so dramatic and unhinged, you think while downing your seventh energy drink and dissociating with drugs and video games.

To be quite honest… venting like this is therapeutic and cathartic for me. I am being completely genuine about this. You know what’s the traumatic part? Telling my new healthcare professionals while I’m going in for a much anticipated HRT appointment that I was abused by not only you but by so many people - that I am still traumatized by IUDs and by your stupid psychological abuse that I begged you to get help for. Yeah that’s what I’m bothered by.

But blogging and venting about all of it since I left… and looking at the beautiful life I have created and am still creating (even if I have my struggles)… THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER. I love that you’re completely out of my life.

I want to be even more monstrous than that pathetic ex made me out to be. That’s the goal: ULTIMATE VILLAIN ERA.

You think I was horrible back then? Watch me glow up and act even more unhinged. Watch me have my life together in ways you couldn’t even dream of.

—

More woozy venting:

SO for all the “straight cis guys” who have ever dated me: YOU ARE GAY

And for all the losers who benefited from me chasing them in a very self-admittedly toxic way: YOU GOTTA GO TO THERAPY TOO BABES

And to the Zionist I regrettably fucked in 2017: YOU WILL GET YOUR KARMA IN THE MOST UNEXPECTED WAY

And to one of my ex-partners from last year: YOU ARE VERY CORRECT IN YOUR SELF-ASSESSMENT THAT YOU ARE A SOCIOPATH

And to my parents: WTF - NO ACTUALLY WTF.

And to anyone who has ever hurt me or assaulted me: I am so sorry for whatever trauma you’re going through that enabled you to make those choices AND I FUCKING CURSE YOU

—

And to me: I don’t care anymore. I don’t have to justify my kindness or my fallibility as a human being. I don’t have to always be right. I certainly don’t want to feel like I’m crazy when I AM NOT. I don’t have to accept hurtful behavior and I don’t need a reason to. I don’t need to ignore hurtful things I do to myself. I am fine as I am.

(Well currently I’m running on very low sleep, low food intake, just had a very intense blood draw, and am on my period. I’m also nervous about my surgery tomorrow.

I am genuinely okay though. I am safe, and I am saner than I have been for a long time.)

[hamletteprinceofdenmark]

One day in 2019, I had pain so bad I went to the ER.

My gut felt like there were red hot needles and knifes being stabbed into it. I felt nauseous. I felt faint. I very nearly threw up.

It was not the first time I felt this way but it was the worst I’d ever felt. I’d been getting increasingly bad pain for over a year and I had gone to countless doctors trying to determine what it was.

The doctors at the ER — thankfully — took me seriously. They determined I had a severely infected gallbladder and the only way to save my life was to have surgery to remove it.

I still had to give consent before the surgery.

I remember being terrified. I was alone. There was no one to help me. And somehow, even though the only course of action I could take was to consent to the surgery the fact that I had to before they could take action made it all the more terrifying. The consequences of the surgery would mean I would live, but I’d never quite be the same. I felt cheated by my own body. Why was it this way? Why couldn’t I be healthy? Functional? Why wasn’t my body working with me?

The nurses, doctors, and surgeons there were all incredibly kind to me.

One surgeon in particular — the one who ended up operating on me — said something that will stick with me for the rest of my life. “Your body is there to help you. Sometimes, when part of the body is no longer helping you, the best thing to do is cut it away. You’ll be so much happier after the surgery. You won’t be in pain anymore.”

I think about that a lot.

I think about it a lot when I see trans men begging for help to get top surgery and are met with resistance or well meaning but ignorant messages begging back to not “mutilate” their body.

I think about my surgeon, who was so kind to me and knew what to say when I was scared and crying and alone in my hospital bed.

Your body is there to help you.

Sometimes, when part of the body is no longer helping you, the best thing to do is cut it away.

You’ll be so much happier after the surgery.

You won’t be in pain anymore.

I hope you get your top surgery.

I hope you will be so much happier.

And I hope the pain will end.

[xtraumasoupx]

the nugget & her bladder are in recovery ❤️‍🩹

Always listen to your body & never stop pushing for those answers/results.🩻🩺 Updates & Story time to follow in about a week, maybe less.🤧 I just want to thank everyone who has sent me their well wishes and love during this process🤍 I appreciate every single one of you. 🥺🥹. Love you guys🤞💕

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[sk270114]

Gallstones can become dangerous when they cause complications such as: Gallbladder Inflammation (Cholecystitis): Gallstones can block the cystic duct, leading to inflammation and infection of the gallbladder. This condition can cause severe abdominal pain, fever, and nausea. If left untreated, it can lead to a perforated gallbladder, abscess formation, or infection spreading to other parts of the body. Bile Duct Obstruction (Choledocholithiasis): Gallstones can travel from the gallbladder and get lodged in the bile ducts, obstructing the flow of bile. This can cause jaundice, which is characterized by yellowing of the skin and eyes, dark urine, and pale stools. Bile duct obstruction can also lead to inflammation of the bile ducts (cholangitis) or inflammation of the pancreas (pancreatitis). Infection of the Biliary System (Cholangitis): When the bile ducts are blocked by gallstones, it can lead to the buildup of bacteria and subsequent infection. Cholangitis can cause symptoms such as fever, abdominal pain, jaundice, and sepsis if left untreated.

ERCP (Endoscopic Retrograde Cholangiopancreatography) can help in saving the patient by providing both diagnostic and therapeutic interventions. There are some best doctors like Dr Amit Maydeo who perform ERCP with best efficiency. During ERCP, an endoscope is passed through the mouth, esophagus, stomach, and into the duodenum to access the opening of the bile ducts. Here's how ERCP can help: Stone Removal: ERCP allows the endoscopist to locate and remove gallstones from the bile ducts. Special instruments can be used to extract or break down the stones, relieving the blockage and restoring the flow of bile. Biliary Stenting: In cases where gallstones cannot be immediately removed, a stent can be inserted to keep the bile duct open. This helps in relieving the obstruction and allows for the passage of bile until further treatment can be performed. Sphincterotomy: In certain situations, the endoscopist may perform a sphincterotomy, which involves cutting the muscular ring (sphincter) at the opening of the bile duct. This widens the opening and facilitates the removal of gallstones. ERCP is a minimally invasive procedure that can effectively treat complications caused by gallstones in the bile ducts. By relieving the obstruction and managing associated infections, it helps in saving the patient from potentially life-threatening conditions. There are specialists like Dr Amit Maydeo who perform ERCP with great efficiency.

[tittyinfinity]

ok this recovery process is truly more miserable than i thought it would be

[iero]

My appointment with the gynecologist is tomorrow after work after the ER found a large ovarian cyst and a large uterine fibroid on an ultrasound and I literally have no fucking clue what to expect… Scared.

[ms-hells-bells]

increasingly realizing that my endo surgery has impacted my sexual function in a very particular way :') luckily it doesn't matter too much for the most part, as it's internal issues rather than external, and I don't partake in PiV, but kinda depressing to realise.

[blorbos-of-the-7th-dawn]

Problem with being my friend is I am going to talk about veterinary stuff even with the final fantasy stuff.

I'm just smart enough to loose my shit laughing at a rock mob named "urolith" so badly as a tank that the whole party wipes to the trash

[lyricfulloflight]

i hope your surgery goes well!! someone i know was helped greatly by removing her gallbladder and she saw a definite improvement after the procedure wishing the same for you!

Thank you so much!

I spoke to a colleague to had the surgery and she said the same. She also said recovery was relatively easy, so I'm hoping for that too!

[drprashantkumar1]

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[horse-heaven]

good news for all you Riley fans out there: she had some vaccines and bloodwork done today and the vet said that she was looking great! they actually were so surprised to learn that she’s already 7 years old haha. she was a very brave girl and didn’t scream about any of her shots

[mercymornsimpathizer]

anyone know how to keep a cat from going out the dog door. asking for a friend

[amireallythatcomplex]

In 5 days, it'll be one year since I collapsed and face planted a bex after my entire lower body cramped up at the same time, making me unable to move my legs and causing pain way off the 1-10 scale. I called in sick for work and went to the QMC A&E in Nottingham. I spent around 15 hours in a wheelchair in paid despite being given strong pain relief. I was then transferred up to the Neuro-Spinal Assessment Unit on 15th August and had an MRI that showed a herniated L5/S1 disc, and I was diagnosed with Cauda Equina Syndrome, something I'd heard of but I didn't know exactly what it was. I was told I'd be having emergency surgery as soon as a theatre slot became available and the spinal surgeons were able to operate - I was given two choices 1) have emergency surgery that could paralyse me completely/remove the pain and I had a very good chance of a full recovery, or 2) stay in excruciating pain until the disc completely severed my spinal cord and completely paralysed me. Obviously, I wanted to get better and get rid of the pain, so I opted for surgery.

I had an L5/S1 discectomy (they removed part of the disc to relieve pressure on the spinal cord) on 16th August 2023. The surgeons said they were able to remove about 80% of the disc that was putting pressure on my spinal cord, so there's still some residual nerve compression to the nerves that go into my left leg. I was told that the disc was severely calcified, meaning it had been herniated a long time before it took my legs from under me - looking back I've potentially had symptoms for years, but I didn't know they were red flags for CES. Afterwards, I found out that the surgery is offered to preserve nerve function and not cure the symptoms, so now I have an incomplete spinal cord injury.

A year on, I still have weakness in my legs, although they're a bit stronger than just after surgery; however, because of the weakness and nerve pain in my legs, and also back pain, I can only walk short distances, which is why I also use a wheelchair for longer distances, or if my pain is too bad. It's why I describe myself as ambuplegic since I'm partially paralysed and an ambulatory wheelchair user. Currently, I'm waiting for the pain management team to trial nerve root block injections for my left leg (although recently, my right leg has been more painful). I'm on a lot of strong painkillers too, but 90% of the time I'm still in pain, which is why pain management are going to be exploring options with me to help reduce the pain.

Do I wish I'd had the surgery now? In a way, no. That might sound bizarre because without the surgery, I'd now have a complete SCI and would be completely paralysed from the waist down. However, it would mean I'd have no nerve pain in my legs! My bladder (I currently have a urethral catheter because intermittent self catheterising wasn't working well, and I'm waiting for a suprapubic catheter to be fitted) and bowel (I take lots of laxatives and have just started bowel irrigation treatment) also don't work properly due to nerve damage, so not having the surgery wouldn't have made much difference to them.

[girlblocker]

just found out my cat sunny has a serious tumor :( should i kill myself y/n

[vizthedatum]

(2nd day out of surgery (a minor operation: bladder cystoscopy with hydrodistention for my IC (my second one)))

--

Hopefully, I'm not jinxing it, but I feel a lot better than last night (ugh, I really purged everything out last night).

I finally ate food for today, sticking to very light and low FODMAP stuff (I may have stretched the limit of what I should have eaten yesterday, but sigh). And I slept in this morning (kind of).

No throwing up... yet. Hopefully, no more.

My urethra feels a lot more calm. My stomach isn't cramping up. I even feel like I could have penetrative PIV sex if I wanted (but I'm not going to, obviously, and also, I will not be masturbating even if I want to).

Ugh.

Interstitial cystitis and all the other stuff IS SO FUCKING TIRING.

I hate being in bladder pain so much, and last night, I was also battling some pretty severe dysmorphia and dysphoria while in agonizing pain in the bathroom.

That bath I fell asleep in last night helped a lot, lmao.

I just... sigh. I don't know. Well, I do. I wish I had woken up, and I wish my partner (I don't currently have one) had been there to tell me I looked beautiful even when sick and with body rolls and all that.

Anyway.

I'm going to keep hydrating and go back to bed.