#By the way I did not go to the ER for that. I went for my bladder issues but they didn’t find anything. The uterus issues was a bonus.

[shy-canadian-snowflake]

poolverine 15 meeting at the ER or 16 brand new neighbors (i couldn’t decide lol so u can choose !) ps i love ur writing ty for sharing it with us xx

“The fuck happen with your face?” Logan felt the blood rush to his face as he pulled Laura closer to him, an apology on his lips. The man in the elevator only threw his head back and laughed. 

“Fire breathing dragon. Had to save a prince.” The man gave Laura a smile. His daughter didn’t look disgusted, or scared at the man’s scars, only interested. She regarded him for a moment before shaking her head.

“Princes don’t need saving. They save the princess.” He put his hand on Laura’s head, pulling her into his side.

“Stop harassing the guy, kiddo.” The eleven year old only huffed. The bell dinged and the three of them got off the elevator. At first Logan gave the scarred man a strange look as he followed them, his hand sneaking into his pocket for his pocket knife. The man stopped at the apartment before theirs and unlocked the door.

“See you around, neighbor.” And see him around they did. The next time they saw the scarred man was waiting to go down the elevator. The man was dressed the same as last time, a baseball cap and a hoodie covering most of his body. Logan did notice a tear in the man’s jeans showing more scarred skin. 

“The fuck happen with you?” Laura asked as they waited. Logan let out a sigh as he rested his hand on her head, a half attempted at a reprimand on his lips. 

“I went back in time to save some fucking people from Pompeii. Kind of badass right?” He had a dazzling smile on his lips as he spoke to Laura, a childlike glee in his eye. She eyed him back 

“The fuck is Pompeii?” That question was directed more towards Logan. He directed her on to the elevator, moving aside so the scarred man could join them. 

“A huge fucking volcano. Or maybe it was a city?” The man started, hitting the button for the ground floor. “Anyway the volcano exploded and covered all these people with ash and shit.” 

Laura eyed him suspiciously. “How many people did you save?”

“Thirty-Six, counted them myself” The man made a bad attempt at a British accent. Logan felt his lip twitch up in a smile. 

“How did you save them?”

“With a British phone booth. They are roomier than you think.”

“I think you are telling a story.” She looked to Logan as if to question if the man was. He kept his face neutral as she eyed the two men. 

“Nothing wrong with a story kid.” The elevator dinged and they parted ways once more.

The next time they met, it was at a grocery store just down the street from the apartment complex. The scarred man was walking around the store with a very beautiful lady. Logan turned his back to grab some raw meat and when he looked back, Laura was halfway down the aisle already chattering away with the scarred man. 

“That story was a lie. Tell me the truth.” She had her arms crossed over her chest and gave the Howlett glare. The beautiful woman next to the man looked a little taken aback at the bluntness of the child. 

“Saved three kittens from a fire.”

“Where?” The man smiled.

“Paris. Marie, Berlioz, and Toulouse were the kittens' names. Fluffy fucking assholes.” The woman laughed. 

“Wade, would she even know that movie?” He made a dramatic sound. 

“Ness, she wouldn’t have known that it was a movie. Bitch.”

That was the day Logan learned the man’s name. 

The next time he saw the scarred man was on the balcony. He had put Laura to bed an hour ago and needed a smoke. The scarred man- Wade was leaning on his own balcony, looking over the street below. This time he was not covered up, standing in a tee and some loose pants. 

“Sorry that she keeps bothering you.” He said as a greeting, Wade jumped at his voice. “I keep telling her to stop but she doesn't listen.”

“Ha, beginning of the teen years. Have fun with that. Back talking, sneaking out at night, she’s going to be a handful.”

“She will be.” They stood there in silence as Logan smoked and Wade watched him. It wasn’t as awkward as he was expecting. He eyed the man back taking him all in. Tall. Strong shoulders. Pretty eyes. “So, what did happen to you, Bub?”

The man gave a sad smile before looking over the street again, he eyed Logan once before speaking. “Fell into a pit of acid while trying to save this crazy psychologist” 

Logan’s lip twitched up into a smile. “Cute. I’ll get Laura to stop asking.” Wade waved him off.

“I like coming up with ideas. More fun than what actually happened. Besides, she’s the first one to look at me like I’m human, not some fucking freak.”

“I don’t think you are a freak. You are some guy who had something shitty happen to him. Life sucks like that sometimes.” He shrugged, putting out his smoke on the railing. 

“Maybe I am.”

Thanks for the prompt! I'm thinking if I continued this, they'd fall in love during Wade's crazy stories, Logan would grow to want to hear them, Wade would want to tell them. Maybe they hear that Wade will be alone for some holiday so Wade spends it with them, Logan and Wade fall more in love, and eventually Laura just asks when they getting married.

[idkwhatmynameshoukdberahhhh]

LET ME COOK🔥🔥 LET ME COOOOOOOKKKK🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

…..

“Hiori, I like rin.” Nanase flopped onto the midfielder’s bed, laying his head on his lap. He decided to take a break from training with Rins permission, well he just gave him a huff and he just took it as affirmation and visited the bastard münchen dorms. The country boy felt quite left out when he realised that both Isagi and Hiori were in the same building let alone they share a room. “And I still can’t believe y'all didn’t tell me about pickin’ Bastard München while I’m stuck in the PxG building. It's so unfair. Do ya how stressful it is with Shidou n Rin fighting every time they see each other?!” he sighs turning his head up to stare are Hiori who gives him a bashful smile

“Aw c’mon, we didn’t plan this Nanase we jus happened to pick the same team. An’ just sayin’ you will get no peace a mind in ‘ere as well. Isagi and Kaiser are the same” Hiori carded his fingers through Nanase’s hair “And what was that? Ya like Rin? Now that’s something that we can talk about! Tell me how’d ya realise that? And what are ya doin’ right now to get him to fall head ova heels for ya!”

“Well ya know he’s just so…” Nanase lets out a dreamy sigh, a smile creeping onto his face. “But it doesn’t matter cause he doesn’t like me, in fact I think he’s just tolerating me” his smile turns tight, his eyes averting from Hioris pitying gaze.

“Now why would ya say that Nanase you’re a blast to be with and maybe you can woo him off his feet hm?”

“I doubt I could but anyways he likes Isagi and I can't stop Isagi from getting some ya know.” Hiori raises an eyebrow at the others statement.

“He likes Isagi? Really? Did ya ask ‘im?”

“No but i can jus’ feel it. He's so obsessed with him everything he does has Isagi in his mind he's his motivation…”

“It's jus’ their rivalry Nanase dear,” Hiori tries to explain but Nanase was stuck on his belief

“Ya don't need to support my delusion, Hiori. I know that Rin doesn’t and won’t like me… Thank ya though.” The navy blue haired boy lifted his head up from Hiori’s lap sitting on the edge of the bed. “Oh! And before i forget Karasu told me to tell you to come visit him or I think Otoya might steal him away from ya.” at the mention of Otoya’s name Hiori’s eye twitched.

“Actually I'll come with and pay Karasu a visit. Let's go.” Hiori stands up and drags Nanase to the door and bumps into Isagi on their way out.

Nanase’s eyes brighten at the sight of Isagi, an idea coming to his head. “Isagi! I'm so glad we ran inta ya! I've stolen Hiori from ya so i was thinkin’ that you should come with so ya won't be lonely in ya room!” He doesn't wait for Isagi’s answer and drags him along to the PxG building. Isagi stumbles along confused but nonetheless goes along with Nanase, it has been a while since he's seen the other due to practise and being in different buildings and teams.

Once they reach the buildings Nanase and Isagi wave bye to Hiori who went to pay Karasu a visit. Now with just the two of them Nanase drags the other to the practise field hoping that Rin was still there and then his plan would come into action!!! And there he was lo and behold Rin Itoshi still practising.

“Rin!! Guess who I brought along for practice!” He moves aside revealing Isagi who waves at the other.

Rin frowns when he sees Isagi and Nanase holding hands turning away from the two and goes back to shooting from all types of distances. “What's he doing here? I thought it was just going to be us…” he mumbles

“Hm? What did ya say Rin?”

“Nothing, it doesn't matter. Get back to practicing Nanase we need to work more on your passing or how else will you serve me on the field”

“Ah, um actually about that I would love to practice more with ya but i'm winded so maybe next time? Promise!!” Nanase rubs his hands together apologising to the other.

“That's all the more reason to practice more Nanase you should build up your stamina plus we barely started,” Rin walks closer to nanase ignoring Isagi beside him. He raises his arm placing the back of his hand on Nanases forehead “Are you sick?”

Nanase flushes red ducking away from Rins touch “Nope im doin’ alright just uhm ya know it's one of those days amiright?” Rin sighs and takes a step back staring at the other before waving him away “Go get some rest. I can't have my property falling even more sick on me”

Nanase yells out a ‘yes sir!! And have fun with Isagi!!’ as speeds away leaving the two by themselves. His plan was in action. If he can't be with Rin then that would be okay. Rin's happiness is more than enough for him and a bonus is that Isagi wouldn't be single anymore and his boyfriend is the Rin Itoshi. Like how is that not a win in the history books.

The navy blue haired male walks back to his room the smile slipping off his face.

….

don’t let me cook i’m burning the kitchen down🔥🧍‍♀️🔥

[crystalknuckle]

aww, sif's stretching! that's-- w-waitasec--!? a flame travels up from their point of contact, lightless eyes blown wide to hone on their unreadable (smiling??) face! he almost shivers, for crab's sake!! was it an accident? they aren't pulling away, so!

he reminds himself to breathe. tries not to make the deeeep intake of air obvious as he wills his body to relax again. it, mostly works.

but they're close enough now that, if he really wanted to, their fingers could overlap with the slightest of shifts. a selfish impulse he won't pay aaany mind to, don't worry! this, this is more than okay.

there's a sort of cautious optimism he's choosing to focus on instead. for all they've went through alone (he doesn't want to imagine it, but, for sif, he'd help carry each and every terrible memory), he can actually do something now. without any loops, it's his chance to keep them safe! er, in moderation. he won't go overboard. they're their own person -- strong, too -- they don't need a bodyguard.

it'd be nice, though, if he felt better with isabeau around... and for him to be glad he's...? oh! siffrin did say that!! out loud! just now!

"...wah!? you--!! i... um--!" even if it's the same sentiment as before, this time feels... augh, he's so tangled up in drowsy knots he's forgetting how to use! his! words!

once he's absolutely, positively certain nothing will slip past his censors, he murmurs, "y-yeah. me too," because i'm here with you. nope! can't emphasize that last part again and risk underselling its meaning. another time, if when he works up the nerve to convey it in its entirety. he'd contemplated it before -- all the ways to make it perfect! because that's the sort of confession they deserve -- and this. this isn't it. but he will! someday, when there isn't already so much weighing on their mind.

...eventually, but not tonight.

tonight, as his breathing slows and the stubborn flush of his cheeks becomes yet another source of warmth, he'd rather place the bookmark on a hopeful little cliffhanger. on sif, alive and out of his loops, finally confiding in isabeau, telling him to stay-- not to mention a glow-star sidequest to look forward to!

it's no resolution wrapped in a pretty bow, but!! shuteye would do them both some good. enjoy the peace they've earned and the rest'll come later, right?

...'rest?'

feather-light touch jostled by his involuntary chuckle, the way he subconsciously seeks it out again is nowhere as smooth, he'll admit! in his totally-lucid defense, if he's going to wake up without it, he doesn't want the crumb of contact to break just yet. one last thing to tell them, too, like he has so many nights prior, and -- change god willing to grant him another favor -- many more,

"goodnight, sif...!"

You did like it, you want to say. Or at least you're pretty sure he did. You liked it too. You want to tell him that, but he shakes away any response from you. The want still lingers. You'd borrow words from that night. You'd tell him everything you said, and you'd mean it still. But, again, cheating. Another time, another place. You'll find a way to make it new, to make it mean more.

The hand beside you makes you sick. He's so close so close so close. You don't want him to move. You don't feel you've earned him being anywhere near you. You want him closer. You need to get up and sleep on the floor or something. He's so close. So close. So close!!!!!

You feign sleep. Eye closed. Feign a stretch. He's way too close to feel like you succeed. You do, as you've heard from Mirabelle, a cliché in the books she reads, a move that gets you closer in a way that doesn't feel so purposeful. A stretch, a reach, usually it's around the shoulder but there's no blinding way you're that brave. A stretch that, when completed, has your hand brush against his on the pillow. Close enough. Closer. Closer. It's okay, this is okay. You're so greedy, wanting more. You're so disgusting, not being satisfied. You were holding hands not too long ago, why'd it get harder? Oh, your throat feels tight.

You don't open your eye. You flash a small smile instead. More memories, huh? There were plenty good ones, ones you would bring up now if you had the strength to bear repeating them. He makes it sound like its his job. It isn't. Stars, even this isn't necessary. It's nice, you like this, even if you keep fumbling, but... He doesn't need to do anything for you. This city's big enough, you could very well part ways right after this, he could do whatever he wanted, and you'd just pass by every so often! Haha!!! Wow, what a thought! You don't want that. Greedy. You'd like to think you two could do things together here. Disgusting. But if he wanted that, you'd... it'd be okay. It wouldn't, but you'd let it be. Oh, you want to cry.

He catches you off guard. He means it. Of course he means it. You would never doubt him. He has every reason to doubt you though. Has before, too. He and Odile, always on your back, Mirabelle too but she was too nice not to make it terribly obvious as you fumbled further. Stop it. You're not thinking about them like that. They cared. You know that. You just wouldn't let them.

Will you now?

Hm. It's different now. You're scared. To try. I'm with you, he says. He always has been, hasn't he? I'm with you, I'm with you, I'm with you. You want to echo the sentiment, but you don't know if he'd believe you. Instead, the words just echo ceaselessly in your head. The nicest words to do that in a while.

"I'll remember." The way you say that is... almost too reassuring. Despite everything, you've gotten rather good at that. I don't deserve this, you want to add, but you know he'd just disagree. You're too nice to me, but you know he'd argue, not nice enough! or something of the sort. Urgh. You don't need to predict his next words anymore. You don't need to cater your response for the best possible outcome anymore. You should just say what you feel, right?

"I'm really glad you're here, Isa." There. That was easy, wasn't it? It came so naturally. Maybe you said it before, earlier, whatever. But you mean it more now. You're really glad he's here. A nice thought. Haha, better trapped with your friends this time than alone, right? No. It's a nice thought. You're really, really glad he's here. You won't let yourself twist that in any other way this time.

You focus on your hands, the faint touch that'll probably vanish by the time you wake up. It's nice. You're comfortable, tired even. Like, actually tired. Practically-falling-asleep tired. It's been a long time since you felt that way. That's nice too.

[lunarharp]

What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)

[iero]

My appointment with the gynecologist is tomorrow after work after the ER found a large ovarian cyst and a large uterine fibroid on an ultrasound and I literally have no fucking clue what to expect… Scared.

[imflyingfish]

working in an art gallery and talking to a lot of full time artists has given me CRAZY imposter syndrome btw lmao

[geddy-leesbian]

probably not going to get to go to the prerelease but I want to put on the outfit I planned anyways and do my makeup but also it feels weird doing that while my mom is in the hospital but also it's not like there's anything I can do to help her

[friskyeee]

Super random but my tiktok fyp is being flooded with people celebrating the united Healthcare ceos death again and I'm so happy about it, literally could not be more filled with glee, it's my favorite thing to see

[aroacedavestrider]

(Multiple System ask meme) 7, 10, 21?

i sent this to myself so itd look neater lol. originally asked by @flare-dragon

heres 7 heres 21 and heres the ask meme if you wanna send one in

10.) unexplored rooms / areas?

tldr: used to be this dark pit we call The Basement but we undarked it and now we hang out down there 👍

this ones interesting i think so there used to be one area that was unknown territory for a while. like i said in #7 our brainworld is pretty much exactly our childhood best friends house which like. i still know every detail of that building i spent so much time there only thing off is The Basement. which is like between the front room and the kitchen to the left. and that is Not where the basement in her real house is, thats just a wall irl not an actual space to put a staircase or anything for a while it was just this dark ominous Void down there. and it was originally where like near-dormant headmates went ig? like in 2020ish our feferi went down there cause smth FUCKED UP happened while she was at pilot and she straight up Did Not come out of The Basement for two real life years fef came back out around last year tho and as she was getting better we kinda decided "yknow what. the dark depressing void sucks mad shit. its OUR brain lets decorate" so as we worked shit out it gradually like lit up and now its kind of a cool hangout area

[arcadian-vampire]

I'm trying a new med for gastroparesis (despite still not being diagnosed with gastroparesis lmao) and??? I think it worked????? I was able to drink a little coffee a while ago, and usually by now I'd be like 'ouch yikes I feel terrible', but I'm. fine. I feel like I didn't even drink anything

I hope it does work and I'll be able to eat things again... It's gonna be really hard to not go wild and eat myself sick, bc I miss food tastes So Fucking Bad dude. I missed out on my mother's biscuits and gravy! Like do u know how hard that is!!!! She makes the BEST biscuits and gravy EVER

[confinesofmy]

oh! none of them will ever prioritise me the way i prioritise them! uh oh.

[coolspacequips]

Have been in such a depressive spiral for more than a week now it felt like a light went off in me smh, yesterday I started to actually feel a little less bad and now I'm SO SICK, can't REMEMBER the last time I was this sick!!!

Like can a bitch catch a break lol!!!!!

[tanadrin]

And God said, "Behold! I have created the fourth primordial force: the weak interaction!"

And the angels all clapped and nodded politely, and there was a long silence; and finally Verchiel, the Angel of Grace, spoke up and asked, "Er, what exactly does it do, O Fashioner?"

And God said, "What do you mean, 'what does it do?' It's the fourth fundamental force of the universe."

And Verchiel said, "You mentioned that. Um. But it's just that the other three sort of have a brand, you know? Gravity helps build large-scale structures, acts over vast cosmic distances, shapes time and space. The strong force is secret, hidden, binding together quarks and all that. Electromagnetism, very cool stuff, somewhere in between. We're all big fans of the whole magnetic monopole double bluff, very clever. But, er. What does this 'weak interaction' do?"

And God said, "It mediates radioactive decay. Sort of."

And Verchiel said, "Radioactive decay? All radioactive decay?"

And God said, "No. Just some kinds."

And Zephaniel, the Chief of the Ishim spoke, and he said, "A whole independent force just to mediate some kinds of radioactive decay?"

And God said, "Well. Not totally independent. Technically it's related to electromagnetism."

And Zephaniel said, "Wait, it's not even a real force?"

And God said, "It's totally a real force. It's just that it's one aspect of a combined electromagnetic and weak force. An electro-weak force, if you will."

And Metatron, the Celestial Scribe, scratched his head at this, but said nothing.

And Cambiel, the Angel of Transformation, said, "Maybe you can walk us through it from the top."

And God Sighed an immense Sigh, and said, "All right, fine.

"So the way it works is that all of space and time is permeated by a field that has imaginary mass."

And Cambiel said, "Imaginary mass, O Generous Provider?"

And God said, "Yes, imaginary mass. It's tachyonic, d'you see?"

And Sarathiel, the Angel of Discipline, said, "Wait a minute, I thought we agreed nothing was going to travel faster than light? All that 'c' business and the whole Lorentz transformation thing. What's happening with that?"

And God said, "Let me finish. The field is tachyonic. The particles in the field all move slower than light."

And Sarathiel had to think about this for a second.

And God said, "The point is, a field with imaginary mass has a non-zero vacuum expectation value."

And this really gave Sarathiel trouble, since he had never been very good at math.

And God, seeing this, went back to explain. "Most fields, like the electromagnetic field, have no effect when they are at their lowest energy state. It's like they're not there at all. If you give a field imaginary mass, then it vanishes only when it's at a very high energy state, and at a low energy state, it has a nonzero value everywhere."

And Sarathiel nodded, but he was confused, because he didn't understand why God would create such a thing.

But Verchiel thought he saw where God was going with this, and he was amazed.

"Truly, you are cunning beyond measure, O Only One Certainly Sound and Genuine in Truth! Only now do I understand your design! For in order to make the universe homogenous and isotropic, it is necessary that all large-scale fluctuations in temperature and mass must be evened out early in the history of the cosmos; and therefore, you have designed a field which will rapidly expand space after the Big Bang, many orders of magnitude in brief moments, and then swiftly and spontaneously decay as it gives up the energy it began with, giving rise to radiation and particles of all kinds as it does, which will condense into the material universe! It is a wonder to behold."

And God said, "What? No. I mean I did, but this isn't the inflaton field I'm talking about. This is something else."

And Verchiel said, "Wait, it's not?"

And God said, "No, I'm going to use a different field to drive cosmic inflation. The properties of this field are totally different."

And now Verchiel was also confused, and lapsed into silence.

And God said, "Like I was saying, this field is a scalar field with imaginary mass, and it does spontaneously decay to a ground state with a non-zero value. But it's not the inflaton field. Instead it combines with the W1, W2, W3, and B bosons."

And Metatron began to flip back through the pages of the Heavenly Record trying to figure out where he'd lost the thread.

And Zephaniel said, "The what bosons?"

And God said, "The W1, W2, W3, and B bosons. I'm sure I mentioned them. You know, the massless bosons?"

And Zephaniel said, "I'm pretty sure we only talked about the W+, W-, and Z0 bosons. All of which you said were going to have mass, O Owner of All Sovereignty."

And God said, "Yes, but this is how they get them, you see. Once this field acquires a nonzero value everywhere, the massless bosons interact with it and get mass. Well, some of them do. They turn into the W+, W-, and Z0 boson. And the photon."

And Zephaniel said, "…and the photon, O Accepter of Invocation?"

And God said, "Well, I did say I was going to unify the electromagnetic force and the weak interaction, didn't I? This is how. Above the critical temperature--right now I'm thinking 10^15 K, but I'm open to feedback on that one--electromagnetism and the weak force act as a single unifying force. Below that temperature, the field gets a nonzero value, you get three massive bosons to mediate the weak interaction, and the photon pops out seperately."

And Zephaniel said, "That seems… a bit overly complicated, doesn't it, O Reinstater Who Brings Back All?"

And God said, "No, it's exactly what we need. Look, that way the W and Z bosons have something to do, but the weak interaction still only travels short distances. Gravity is still the star of the show on cosmic scales, as it were. But now quarks and leptons can swap their flavor!"

And Zephaniel said, rather weakly, "Their… flavor, O Source of Good?"

And God said, "It's this new quantum number I'm trying out, to give the three generations of matter more unique identities."

And Cambiel said, "Three generations of matter? Now I'm really confused."

And God said, "I'm sure I mentioned this. You've got the lightest quarks and leptons, and then two heavier versions of each that can decay into the lighter versions."

And Cambiel said, "What do they do? New kinds of chemistry, is it?"

And God said, "Well, no. Mostly they just decay in a couple microseconds. Or even faster."

And Zephaniel began to rub his temples, and Cambiel sniffed.

And Cambiel said, "This all seems a bit ad hoc to me. Not really the stuff of an elegant and obviously ordered Creation. Why not have four generations of matter? Why not a trillion?"

And God began to grow irritable, and said, "Well, that's not really up to you, now is it? We're going to have three generations of matter, and the electroweak force, and that's that!"

And Zephaniel said, "As long as we are unifying fundamental forces, perhaps we could somehow also unify the electroweak interaction with the strong interaction, or even gravity."

And God hesitated saying, "Well, I haven't decided about that yet. I'm not sure I want gravity to be quantized, you know? Seems to take some of the geometric elegance out of general relativity."

And now it was Zephaniel's turn to sigh, and he bowed his head. "As you wish, O Possessor of Authority of Decisions and Judgement."

[atomicniire]

I simply do not seek medical services unless I feel I have no other choice because I have multiple phobias and trauma and I have never met a medical professional willing to work with me on my issues. I am an adult and I'm just overreacting and if I really needed help I'd just get over it.

Also on topic of Consent: whenever somebody says "Kids should have bodily autonomy!" some guy always is like "You are too unrealistic. What will you do when a kid is seeing the doctor and doesn't want to get a shot? Would you just let them refuse the shot?"

Yeah I probably would. You're straight up asking the wrong person if you want the nice normal answer here. Doctors and nurses forcibly doing (relatively routine) things to my body against my protests when I was a small kid fucked me up so bad that as an adult anything medical related is a huge trigger for me, I've had persistent intrusive thoughts and recurring nightmares about medical procedures, and I can't have even the most basic tests and health checks done on top of it.

I hate talking about it because I can't get comfortable calling it "trauma" and I don't have any other words that are useful, but it's made my life so much harder and really scary since if I start having a weird symptom, there's nothing I can move myself to do about it.

I figured out a loophole where going to a pharmacy instead of a doctor's office for vaccines reduces some of the stress, but I was still in stress and misery for days before I went to get my tetanus shot. The repulsion is so intense it feels like I literally don't have control over myself, it feels like I can't make appointments or plans about such things out of my own free will, and so every year I have guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt about how I should get the flu shot, and it does nothing but ineffectually hurt me.

Vaccines save lives and all that, but when it comes right down to it, I don't think it's actually a net benefit to public health to give any percentage of kids lifelong psychological scars so deep and painful they're almost completely barred from accessing health care as adults.

I know I'm not the only one, far from it.

[honeyednights]

.

[daemonbrain]

"One of me is cute but two though!"

2.4k, cw: breeding kink, smut, kinda baby trapping (?), not proofread

a/n: based off Juno by Sabrina Carpenter hehe happy reading :)

Simon would go to the ends of the earth for his bird. You wanted to watch your favorite movie for the millionth time with him? Done. You were craving take out from that special spot across town in the middle of the night? He’s placing your order and grabbing his keys to go pick it up after a quick goodbye kiss. You wanted him to kill a little red-haired prick who got too close to you -grazed your arm- yesterday at 17:37 while in a crowded line when he went to the loo, with his bare hands? Fan-tastic. (He may be projecting a little)

But he was worried. He might not be the most perceptive man, but he wasn’t so thick headed he couldn’t see the signs.

The way you made googly eyes at every baby you passed by. Fuck sakes he had never seen so. many. babies. 

Little things everywhere nowadays, though it might just be he’s now paying enough attention to notice. It definitely helped the unintentional search that your grip on his arm tightened every time you saw one. Your soft coos as you turned to him to say for a third time in a row that the babe was the “cutest thing you had ever seen”.

He loved you like he loved his gun after it got him out of a tough spot (he loved you more, but he's pretty poor at putting an example on it), but there was one thing he was wholly unsure he could give you. Being a father has never been something he was sure of, his own making his childhood a living hell assuring him that it wasn’t in his genes or anywhere in his future. He came to terms with that years ago and shoved the idea out of his mind entirely. 

As you both sat down at a coffee shop while taking a break from your park walk, you just happened to get seated right next to another woman, a stroller in your direct view.

Fuckin’ great.

Biting your lip you take a peek at the chubbiest little thing in a deep sleep. Catching the gaze of the mother you smile. “She’s adorable” you chirped. 

As the mother responded with a smile of her own, Simon felt a foot gently nudging his leg as gave him the prettiest eyes. Did you even try to hide it anymore? No, you really didn’t. Eyes filled with thinly veiled intentions, eyes that said “Look how cute! Jump across this table and give me one now,” 

“Isn’t she cute Si?!”

He sighed and replied in his usual grumble, “course, ‘er little jumper is nice.” Tactics. Swiftly move out from the topic and do not let the missus see the little bows… on the jumper… he just pointed- for fucks sake you saw it.

After quite some time giggling with the mother over photos, because of course that had to be the natural progression of things, Simon observed in his characteristic shadow-like demeanor before the little one began to fuss in her sleep. The mother excused herself and the babe to nurse and it’s then you finally turn back to your silent companion with your usual beaming.

“ ‘avin fun there, yeah?” He laughed which came out more as a snort as you mockingly kicked him under the table.

“I am as a matter of fact!”

Pulling his hands into the air in surrender he looks you head on. “Okay, I get it.”

“The baby was just so- ugh! Did you see how chubby she was? Her little hair.. Gosh!” Stay on task. Do not get distracted by the target's beautiful smile or laugh. Someone had to be the voice of rationale after all.

“Like I said ‘er jumper was nice, luv.”

When the pout came to your lips, he considered it a success (you were hot either way) and chalked the whole thing as a minor bump in the road. Whatever this baby fever was would pass.

Nonetheless, he should’ve known his bird better than that. She wasn’t a quitter, that’s for damn sure. As you cooked up dinner in that cute apron and served it plated up so nicely it dawned on him just how… domestic this all was.

It was nice, he concluded. Calm.

You remained pensive and quiet for the most part during dinner, clearly desperate to say what you had been on your mind for weeks. He could see the way your mind's gears turned, wanting to blurt it out. Like an animal going feral at the bars of its cage. Except your the animal and your cage is the inherent trust you will not go awol and chuck your birth control pills into the trash while he’s not watching.

“Simon…” 

Here it comes.

Simon grunted out his response while chewing on his food, looking up to meet your cautious gaze. Leaning across the table you gently lay your hand on his which held his fork, pushing it down.

“I’ve been thinking… a lot lately.” There you went with that look again. “Have you… ever thought of kids before? I- I know we’ve had this talk before… but-”

“C’mere.”

He outstretched his big arms and patted his lap. With quick acceptance you hurried over and let him pull you on top of him, one hand on the back of his chair and the other on your ass for support. The deep kneading of it was also for support of course. 

“You know how I feel about them. ‘Is jus not somethin I think about, luvie.” He didn’t dare look away from your eyes. If he was about to take that gleam out of your eyes he at least owed it to you to watch.

You grabbed his face with a light touch and caressed the stubble which had begun to grow with a look beginning to resemble a spot of desperation. Pressing yourself further into his body, you couldn’t help your protests.

“Si.. I just- I want one so bad.” You began to slide your hand down the side of his neck, pressing forward to gently place a kiss. Leaning your forehead in the junction between his shoulder and neck you continued before he could respond.

“Don’t you? A little baby with us all the time.”

Someone had to be the voice of reason and Simon was going to have to put his foot down on this.

“You’re not thinkin straigh’, luv. It would be cute-” He was cut off in shock as he felt the slight rock of your hips as you cowered into his shoulder.

“Just imagine it! One of me is cute enough, but two!” The pace began to speed up as you blatantly started grinding against him. He let out a little huff. Voice of reason. Though his reason was nowhere to be found when he put his hand that was idly on the chair to your backside to encourage the movement.

You knew what came next, you had to sweeten the pot. You knew you were being mean, but you just had to! You were practically given no choice!

“Don’t you want that Si! Don’t you wanna make something together?” You all but pleaded. He looked straight past your head with a crumbling steely demeanor. Fuck.

You already began to tug at his shirt and with a final glare, Simon couldn’t help but look at his pretty bird. His pretty bird on top of the prize she coveted, heat passing between their bodies. Just one time. One time and then they could talk about this properly. 

Simon gathered you up in his arms and stood while pressing an eager kiss to your lips. It was a soft and long thing as he brought you both to the bedroom you shared. He threw you down on the bed and stripped himself as you excitedly did the same.

Smiling up at him as if you won. You did not win. This was not a win, right? You were on your birth control either way, he would pull out as needed. What harm is there in fucking his own girl.

Pushing you on to your back he parted your legs to look what lay between them. There was the prize he was most proud of. Puffy cunt at the mercy of the cool air being pushed out by the vents. You were already beginning to shine.

“You were just waiting for it weren’t you? Knew I couldn’t leave you hanging, yeah?”

With a giggle you spread your thighs further and wiggled your hips teasingly. Simon dropped to his knees and pulled your body to the edge of the bed. Throwing each of your legs on either of his shoulders he spit into your cunt, taking two thick fingers and rubbing it in, catching on to your hole lightly as he played with the slick. He could see the way your stomach tightened as he circled your clit and he winded you up further when he firmly flicked it.

“Si” you whined.

“Wha’ is it?” He grinned as he lowered his head to press a kiss down. Devolving from a kiss, he grabbed onto one of your thighs with a strong grip and began to sloppily lick while you let out your breathy little moans, sensitive to the absolute tank holding you still as he ate straight from the source.

He licked and it just kept going. Dragging his tongue around your cunt, up to your puffy clit. He harshly sucked as he latched on to it drawing a cry from your vulnerable form. Tugging at his hair, he only looks up with his eyes, refusing to pull away his mouth. 

Shaking your head with wide eyes you couldn’t help but push your fluffy little agenda.

“Si please. Please. Please, I need it! I’d never ask for anything else-” you moaned in surprise once again as he added a finger into your hole. Willing himself to pull away from you, Simon continued to fuck his finger into you as he spoke up, spittle and slick coating his mouth. He had to switch gears, use logic (and cum) to deter you.

“We’d never have time. All this?-” He added another finger into your clenching pussy “Gone. We’d be cleaning spit up instead.”

“We’d have a baby!” You exclaimed insistently.

You were practically off the edge, usually by now Simon had you fucked into your own little world. This incessant begging for a little one of your own is keeping you sharper than usual. He’d fix that.

“Please Simon” You pulled him up, the strain of his cock to be inside you encouraging him to follow your movements. He looked at you pretty tits, pretty like everything else on you. Taking a nipple between his fingers and rolling hard.

“These’d get all full.”

Fuck that backtracked his own point. His mind fighting back the onslaught of thoughts at the sight of your tits growing round and heavy because of something he could do. Would your body get all soft- NO.

Lining himself up and looking at that pleading expression, the only time he’d ever seen you so wanting of something you were willing to roll around with nothing else on your mind.

“Just one Si, just one with your eyes your nose your hair-” Your breath went short as he pushed himself in, giving shallow thrusts to feed into your aching cunt. Recomposing yourself you gripped on to his bicep, “Just do it, lock me down tonight.”

Simon couldn’t help the way he subconsciously began pushing your thighs up to give himself a deeper angle, your ankles dangling weightlessly above your head, knees to your chest. The groans which sounded through the room as his hips hammered into you in a desperate chase. 

The two of you could do nothing but stare into each other's eyes, losing yourselves in each other while your cunt squeezes him like a vice. Determined to keep him there, body obstinately stuck on one thing.

 Someone had to be the voice of reason. Someone had to object to a little one with his eyes and your personality. Someone had to be rational and not think about painting the nursery while you waddled about. Someone had to remain level-headed and not imagine the way your eyes would light up with unfettered joy.

You tossed your head back and he couldn’t help but grip your face in his hand, tugging it right back to him.

“With me luv, with me. Look at me.”

Someone had to be rational.

Nodding your head shakily you keep your eyes on the massive man pounding away at you, feeling the way your stomach bulges trying to accommodate all of him, your cunt coaxing him further into the sticky trap.

Your body begging for one thing, you looked like you needed it. Tongue lolling out of your mouth as you were fucked stupid, sweat collecting on your brow. You looked perfect. Your whining swallowed by his own mouth when he presses another kiss to your swollen lips, body enduring in hopes the fat cock ruthlessly disturbing its peace would grant it the big load it craved.

Someone had to be rational?

Maybe it was the way you sucked him in, the way he couldn’t stop thrusting into you, but it’s as if your body sent some message to the receptors in his mind. All that flashed before him images of happy and full and with his baby.

As if you could sense his thoughts, your own peak quickly overcame you white hot. The way you spasmed around him with a loud cry of pure ecstasy.

“Give it to me!” You somehow managed. His mind went blank as drunk off the pleasure as you were, the only thing he could do was thrust, unable to comprehend anything else.

 A shame Simon couldn’t be rational when it came to his bird.

With the final slam of his hips, his release went into the deepest depths of you. His grip on your hips burning from how tight it was as he kept himself flush against you.

It took a few moments to come down from the high. Simon looked at your sweaty face, hazy from lack of energy. Maybe you did win this one, but he really didn't get all this effort (not that he was complaining) if you were still on birth control.

Birth control... which he hasn't had to remind you to take for quite some time...

Out of pure curiosity at his realization, he gently pushed the two of you further up the bed while keeping you plugged up. Opening the first drawer he manages to grab the box which contained your birth control pills. Upon further inspection, he notices it remains unopened and untouched. Shaking his head with a gruff laugh he peers down at you as you shiver from the rumble.

“Dirty girl”

You just smiled.