#By the way I did not go to the ER for that. I went for my bladder issues but they didn’t find anything. The uterus issues was a bonus.

[emeraldserenade]

It's Been 5 Years ~ Joaquín Torres

synopsis: Adjusting to life after you had just disappeared with half of the living population took some time, but Joaquín seemed to be very helpful

tw: fem!reader, limited use of y/n, reader speaks Spanish, bad Spanish (idk Spanish, I use google translate), none?, barely edited.

fic, ficlet, drabble, request

So I hit page 10 out of 34 on the upcoming story. But I still want to keep up my at least one post a day schedule, so have this. This idea has been running it's way through my head and it didn't come out how I wanted it to but I still think it's good.

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Joaquín was in his relatively new apartment, he had been there for a few months, when the people who had just disappeared reappeared. It was jarring, especially for the two of you.

"Um, hello?" You were confused, one moment you were holding your cat and walking around your apartment getting ready to leave and the next, your cat was gone and everything looked different.

"Holy shit," the man jumped up from the couch and you took a step back. "Wait, I'm not going to hurt you, let me explain," he held his hands up.

"Uh, ok?" You wrapped your arms around your middle, trying to sooth yourself.

"5 years ago this alien named Thanos made half the living population disappear," the man stated and you slowly nodded, you realized almost right away you must have been apart of those that disappeared.

"So, it's been 5 years?" You questioned, you watched as he nodded. "You wouldn't happen to know what happened to my cat, would you?" You took a chance.

"Actually, I would. The neighbor, Ms. Kaur, took your cat in. She told me all about how you would be heartbroken to know that your cat was all alone," the man told you and you felt a rush of relief.

"Uh," you paused for a moment and looked around. "Can I ask you a few favors? Nothing big, I promise," you assured him.

"Yeah, go ahead," you watched as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Well, firstly, can I know your name?"

"Oh," he uncrossed his arms and held his right one out to you. "Joaquín Torres," you shook his hand and gave him your name.

"Also, can I borrow your phone?"

"Yeah, let me grab it," he moved to the kitchen. "I don't know if you need the bathroom but you can go use it," he called from the kitchen you and nodded even though he couldn't see you.

"Oh, thank you!" You called from your way down the hallway and to the extra bathroom. You figured he didn't want you in your, his, bedroom. When you came back he was sitting on the couch again and you hesitantly walked closer.

"You don't have to stand," he told you and handed you his, unlocked, phone.

"Thanks," you awkwardly sat down a little bit away from him and punched in one of the numbers you knew by heart.

One ring, two rings, three rings, then finally someone picked up. "Hola?" You almost sobbed hearing the voice of your father

"Hola, papá," you heard your own voice wobble but it was nothing compared to the full sob of your mother's you could hear.

"Y/n, de verdad eres tú?" Your father questioned. Is that really you?

"Sí, lo es. ¿Alguien más desapareció?" Yes, it is. Did anyone else disappear?

"No, solo eras tú. Ay, tu madre y yo nos alegramos mucho de que hayas vuelto. Por favor, ven a visitarnos pronto," your father told you and you nodded. No, it was just you. Oh, your mother and I are so happy you're back. Please, come visit us soon

"Lo haré, solo necesito aclarar algunas cosas. ¿De acuerdo?" I will, I just need to figure some things out. Ok?

"Ok, te amamos," your father told you. Ok, we love you

"Yo también te amo," you hung up the phone and handed it back to Joaquín. I love you too.

"I uh," you awkwardly looked at Joaquín. "I should probably see if I can find a hotel," you went to stand but Joaquín's words stopped you.

"Or you can stay here, I mean, it technically was, is, your apartment. There's the extra room anyway," Joaquín offered and you looked down at yourself. You suddenly felt grateful that you were about to leave, you had your purse and some of your favorite clothes of your on.

"If you're sure because I can totally go and get a hotel room," Joaquín cut you off.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Plus, I have a feeling finding a hotel room will be extra hard tonight," Joaquín joked and you laughed.

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You had been staying with Joaquín for a few weeks now, you had settled into the guest bedroom and found out that not only did Ms. Kaur save Sushi, but she also saved all your belongings. The furniture, other than the standing mirror your grandmother gave you and the nice hanging jewelry holder you thrifted, got sold. You weren't too upset, you had all your clothes and things anyway.

You were sitting on the couch on hold with the bank while watching Joaquín play some video game. You found out a few days ago that they froze all your cards when you were offically declared dusted. While you appreciate them worrying about your finances, it was a pain in the ass to get unfrozen.

"Miss, are you still there?" Asked the female voice you'd been talking to a few moments ago.

"Yes, I am!" You sat up straighter and the raised volume of your voice caused Joaquín to look over at you.

"We have unfrozen all your accounts, sorry for taking so long," the woman told you and you smiled in relief.

"Ok, thank you!" You hung up after goodbyes and did a small happy dance. "Dios mío, I thought that was going to go on forever," you flopped back against the couch and focused your attention back on the screen.

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"Joaquín, are you even helping me look for apartments?" You looked up from your computer screen at Joaquín, his laptop was open but he was hitting his keyboard more than he would if he was looking.

"If I lie and say yes, would you believe me?" Joaquín questioned and you sighed.

"You act like you want me to stay here," you closed your laptop and moved to sit on the couch next to him, he was on the Minecraft world you two had started. "You said you wouldn't build without me!" You gasped, he was building more of the house you two had started together.

"I got bored, forgive me, Angel," he gave you his puppy eyes and you stared him down, already knowing that he had won.

"Fine, I forgive you," you huffed.

"Good, and I do want you to stay here," he added on and you looked at him weirdly as he saved and exited the game.

"Why?"

"I like you," he said it so casually that you had to remind yourself that he meant as a friend, and that he didn't reciprocate your crush.

"Careful, you might give me the wrong impression," you joked, trying to hide the truth in your words.

"Which would be?" Joaquín looked at you with, what you thought was, genuine curiosity and you mentally kicked yourself.

"Nothing, doesn't matter," you told him, getting up to leave. He grabbed your hand and pulled you back onto the couch before you even took a step causing you to fall with more backwards momentum you were accounting for, and landing with your back pressed into his chest. You just relaxed into his hold, knowing that if he really wanted to you wouldn't be able to move.

Joaquín said nothing as you two sat there, you didn't say anything either. You just sat there in comfortable quiet, you slowly started to drift off and right before you fully succumbed to you heard Joaquín lowly mumble in your ear, but you couldn't quite figure it out.

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It didn't take long until you gave up apartment hunting, the landlord from your building was also very nice. She let you and Joaquín add your name to the lease without much of a hassle.

"Joaquín, you do have plans?" You saw he was dressed nicely.

"Yeah," he told you and you suddenly felt very stupid for even asking. "With you, go get ready, please," he looked away from the mirror where he was messing with his hair to look you in the eyes.

"Me? Where? Why?"

"You ask too many questions Angel, just go," he gave you a smile and you relented.

You two ended up going to dinner, a movie, then to ice cream. You were confused on why he was until he took you back home.

"I like you, a lot, and," you cut Joaquín off with a hug and a quick kiss.

"I like you too," you told him, watching as any of his nerves disappeared.

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Masterlist | Requests

[p-artsypants]

Interference

When Hiccup accidentally overhears a conversation between Astrid and Heather about him, he assumes Astrid's telling the truth about not having any feelings for him, and it makes him reevaluate his life plans. Thankfully, it's only a misunderstanding.

Hi! This is my first time participating in a fandom challenge. This is my entry for the @httydhiccstridweek Day 4 prompt: (Not) Stubborn. It might be a bit of a stretch….

@sorushing

Ao3

Hiccup meandered through the Edge woods. Toothless was taking his mid afternoon nap (poor nocturnal soul) and Hiccup had been tinkering in his hut. He had a few ideas for a tail fin improvement, but he was trying to combine them all and it simply wasn’t working. 

So, like he often did on Berk to clear his head, he went on a walk in the woods. The day was pleasant, Heather was back for a while, maybe even to stay. Everyone else seemed to be finding ways to stay busy, which meant not annoying him. 

Yes, a pleasant walk indeed. 

He found himself heading toward Astrid’s clearing where she’d set up targets for axe throwing. Not surprising he’d seek her out. It would have been more surprising if he hadn’t. 

Through the brush, he could hear Astrid and Heather talking, interspersed with the thunks of blades into wood. 

Maybe he ought to let them catch up in peace. He didn’t have anything particular he wanted to talk about, and both of them could use quality girl time. 

As he turned to leave, he swore he heard Astrid say his name. Not calling out to him, but talking about him to Heather. 

Too curious for his own good, he kept low and his steps quiet. He stayed hidden among the bushes and behind a tree, safe from arrant axes. 

Just for a minute, he told himself. It wasn’t polite to spy. 

“You guys are a thing, right?” Heather asked. 

Hiccup felt his face flush hot as he heard Astrid’s axe fly wildly off in the distance. 

“What?! No! J-just friends!” 

He hugged himself, trying to stave off the heartbreak just that sentence caused. 

“Hmmm. He’s pretty cute.” 

“Sure, if you like the unassuming, heroic, dragon rider type, heh.” 

“Fishlegs said you guys used to kiss. Did it not work out?” 

“Wh-what? Used to—no no, he’s got it all wrong. Yeah, I kissed Hiccup in front of everyone, but it was just the one time. It was after he lost his leg and he was finally up and walking around. I was relieved that he was alive.” 

“So you kissed him?” 

“That’s—er—that is to say, I was relieved, and he had ended the war, so I thought he deserved a kiss.” 

Hiccup couldn’t recall the last time he’d heard Astrid flustered. It was confusing, but exciting? Talking about him, kissing him, made her nervous. 

“Oh, I get it. A reward for a good deed.” 

“Exactly.” 

“What about the other two?” 

“Other—? Oh I’m going to kill Fishlegs.” 

Heather laughed. “You should know better. He gave me all the hot gossip!” 

Astrid grunted, and hurled an axe at a target, sinking the blade into the wood. “Well, no use in lying. Fine. I kissed him a total of three times…but those were years ago! One was during Snoggletog. All the dragons left to go have their mating ritual, which we didn’t know they did, and we were all sad. Toothless couldn’t initially go, so Hiccup made him a tailfin he could use on his own, and then he left too.” 

“I remember this story,” Heather giggled. “Fishlegs locked Meatlug in a barn and she laid eggs…also how he found out she was a girl.” 

“Yeahhhh…”

“And how you guys found out that boulder class eggs explode.” 

“Let’s gloss over that part,” Astrid rubbed the back of her head. “When Meatlug got free, Hiccup somehow got caught up in her escape and went with her to the rookery. A day later, he returned with all the dragons and their babies…all except Toothless.” 

Hiccup craned his head to listen more, as Astrid’s voice had grown softer. 

“We were all so devastated they left. I was heartbroken that Stormfly just left so abruptly, and then Hiccup was there with Stormfly and all her babies. He returned her to me…but he was still so profoundly sad and clearly missed Toothless. I was so grateful and he was so…” she sighed. “So yeah, I kissed him again. Just a peck.” 

“I can see why.” 

Astrid sighed again, grunting at the end as she heaved her axe over her shoulder. “The last time was during Thawfest. An annual tournament to decide the best Viking. Snotlout had won every year since we were in diapers, and you know how much of a sore winner he is.” 

“A little unbearable?” 

“A lot unbearable. Truthfully, I always thought I’d be the one to beat him, but my family has a notorious curse on our Thawfest performance. No Hofferson has won a point in a hundred years. Just bad luck.” 

“So no chance of humbling Snotlout?” 

“Not initially, no. But these Thawfest games would be the first to include Dragons. And with a Nightfury, well, now there was an even playing field.” 

Hiccup smiled at her recollection. Hearing it from her perspective was interesting. 

“Snotlout was always mean to Hiccup, but he became a lot more respectful after Hiccup lost his leg. Thawfest brought the ugly back out, and Hiccup was right there, handing it right back. I honestly didn’t recognize him. He’d always taken bullying and criticism so tactfully, either letting it roll off his shoulders or turning it into a joke, but now he was showboating and hurling insults…granted, Hiccup hadn’t ever won anything before, so he probably didn’t know what that felt like.”

Ouch, Astrid. Hiccup thought.

“He had the chance to beat Snotlout. And I think Spitelout, Snotlout’s dad, was very aware of that. Spitelout’s always been cruel, and reamed Snotlout out in front of all of us, while Stoick just told Hiccup to do his best.” There was warmth in her voice as she finished, “during the final race, Hiccup ‘had a problem’ with Toothless and Snotlout was able to win. Everyone else thought there was a malfunction with the tail, but I could tell it was on purpose. Hiccup gave up his chance to finally win Thawfest and ‘be the best viking’ because he knew the pride and accomplishment would last a little while, but the shame and humiliation Snotlout would feel would last a lifetime. He let Snotlout, the boy that bullied him his entire life, win, because they were friends now and that’s what friends do.” 

“And you thought he should at least win something.” 

“Exactly.” 

Hiccup rested a hand on his blushing face. He assumed Astrid had figured him out, and that was why she kissed him, but to see that she had so deeply and thoroughly read his mind and heart…

But she’d been good at that for years. He could never hide his feelings from her. With one look, she was able to determine what was on his mind or what was bothering him. 

All but one thing, and he was fairly sure she knew and just didn’t comment on it. 

“So you don’t have any feelings for him at all? None whatsoever?” 

Hiccup held his breath.

“I mean…of course I like him, I love him! But like—not love love. A platonic love.” 

“Like a brother?” 

“Ehhh, like a friend. A good friend. I trust him, but that’s really it.” 

Crack. Hiccup was pretty sure his heart just stopped, and maybe they could hear it snapping in half from where they were. 

Tears bit at his eyes, but he was determined not to let them fall. Astrid was entitled to feel however she wanted. Her friendship was so important to him, he’d take it in whatever form she was willing to give. 

No wonder the random kisses stopped. She just…didn’t like him.

Then he started spiraling. What was the tipping point? When did she realize he wasn’t all that special? Because you don’t just kiss your friends, there had to have been some fondness she held for him at one point. And then it disappeared somewhere along the line. 

He did something to repulse her. 

“So…you wouldn’t mind if I asked him out?” Heather asked. 

Hiccup choked, a wheeze slithering up his throat. He had to place a hand over his mouth to keep it silent. 

What?! Heather?! Why?!

It seemed like Astrid had similar thoughts as she barked, “excuse me?!” 

“Yeah,” Heather replied, calm and cool. “If you don’t like like him, I think he’s pretty cool. Maybe he’d go on a date with me.” 

“That’s—!” Astrid balked. Then, after a moment, she said, “you know what? You’re right! You’re both clever and cool, I bet you’d get along great. You should go for it.” 

What?! Hiccup screamed in his mind. Astrid, don’t! 

“Really?” Heather chirped. “You sure you don’t mind?”

“Nah, I was just concerned since you just got here. But why not? He seems to like you.” 

Yeah, Hiccup liked Heather, about as much as he liked Ruffnut. She was a friend that he trusted. Granted, he did think Heather was pretty, but that was the extent of his attraction. 

Hiccup shook his head, feeling all sorts of hurt and betrayal. He needed to get out of here. 

Just as quietly as he came, he tiptoed away, careful to not make his foot click or even brush against leaves. 

Once he was far enough away, he booked it back to the Edge, eyes stinging with tears. He didn’t want to cry, but gods how he loved her! 

And now he would have to navigate putting his heart back together while figuring out what to do with Heather. 

He’d turn her down, obviously. He was in no condition to agree to any sort of date, no matter how casual. 

He needed time. 

He turned the path to the Clubhouse and saw Snotlout and Tuffnut wrestling in the grass. He tried to pass them without a word, but Snotlout spotted him. 

“Hey, why the long face?” 

Hiccup didn’t answer, but kept walking. 

“Whoa, yeah! You been crying? What happened?” Asked Tuffnut. 

“I’m fine,” Hiccup protested, his voice thick with sorrow. 

Snotlout and Tuffnut quickly abandoned their training and flanked Hiccup, one on each side. 

“You say that, but your face is soaked with tears,” Snotlout smirked. “What? Did you see a big scary spider?” 

Hiccup never appreciated Snotlout’s teasing, who would? But right now, he was ready to break. Instead, he found a safe lie and said, “my leg is killing me.” 

Snotlout’s face steeled into something more serious. In a blink, Hiccup was up on his back, being carried back to the Outpost piggyback style. 

“You don’t have to—“ 

“Don’t comment on it,” Snotlout grumbled. “Just let me get my weight training in…though you weigh nothing, so it’s not going to do any good.” 

Hiccup just hung on and hid his face in Snotlout’s shoulder. Pain was pain, no matter where it was coming from, and comfort was comfort, even if it was coming from his dickhead cousin. 

Snotlout carried him all the way back to his hut and sat him on his bed. “You good if you just chill for a bit? Or do you need me to get Fishface?” 

“No, getting off of it for a while is fine. Thanks Snotlout, I appreciate it.” 

“No problem,” he smirked. Then he punched Hiccup in the shoulder. “If I see you up before dinner, I’m bringing you back…and it won’t be a pleasant piggyback ride next time.” 

“Noted.” 

Snotlout gave him a salute and left, leaving Hiccup all alone in his hut. 

All alone, and miserable. 

It had been such a nice day too!

Hiccup sighed as he laid down on his bed. Curling up helped with the pain. 

He didn’t want to sulk. He didn’t want to cry his eyes out, but wow how quickly his world flipped upside down! He always thought there was something special between him and Astrid. They could almost read each other’s minds. 

I don’t want to live in a world without you. 

And she had repeated that to him. Had that meant nothing? Or just not as much as it meant to him? 

How many sleepless nights had he tossed and turned thinking about her, dreaming about her, planning when he’d make that step? He was so certain that this was mutual and just unrushed. When he finally did kiss her, she’d reciprocate. 

Because he trusted her. He trusted her too much, apparently, and never thought she’d hurt him. 

And it stung. All the way down to his toes, he felt a blinding ache. He and Astrid hadn’t dated, no, but she was so intrinsic to his life, as deeply intertwined with every aspect, there was no escape. She was in all his happy memories. She was there cheering him on in all his victories. How was he supposed to face her now? 

How was he supposed to move on? 

A sob cut through his mental tirade and he buried his eyes in the crook of his elbow. 

Gods, this hurt. And that meant it was real. It wasn’t puppy love or a little crush, it was all encompassing desire and adoration. 

He loved Astrid Hofferson. And she didn’t love him back. 

“Wurrr?” Toothless warbled in his face. 

Hiccup looked up sharply, meeting those empathetic green eyes. “Oh. Hey bud, didn’t hear you come up.” 

“Weerrp?” 

“I’m okay…or I will be.” 

Toothless sniffed over his body, checking for injuries. 

“No, no it’s…it’s not that. I um…I found out that Astrid probably doesn’t feel the same way I do.” 

“Rrrummp.” Toothless rolled his eyes, clearly showing a large degree of doubt. 

“No ‘rruummp’! I heard it! With my own ears! She and Heather were talking and she asked her if we were a couple and Astrid denied it up and down. Said she liked me as a friend and that’s it.” He clenched his eyes shut as they started to water again. “She actually encouraged Heather to ask me out.” 

“Rreweerr?” 

“Your guess is as good as mine. I thought…well, it doesn’t matter what I thought. I was wrong.” He tucked his head into his arm again, putting pressure on his eyelids. 

Toothless, ever the faithful companion, climbed up onto the bed and wormed his legs under Hiccup. Then he dragged him back and cocooned him in paws and wings, blocking out the world and whatever hurt his boy. 

Hiccup could cry in peace. 

Hours passed, and Hiccup cried on and off. He’d gather himself, hype himself up to some sort of mantra of ‘it’s going to be fine, you’ll get over it’. And then he’d break down again as he remembered something else that Astrid’s presence was intertwined with and was now ruined. 

He hadn’t cried like this in years. Not since…not since he lost his leg. That time was a whirlwind of emotion. His father disowned him, and the pain of being cast out of the tribe was excruciating. Losing everything he loved, everything he had tried so hard to protect and those he tried to impress. It was ripped away. 

But Astrid remained, standing by his side and encouraging him in her own abrasive way. She poked and prodded at him until he kicked himself into gear, then she was with him through all of it. She helped him train the others, flew him to Helheim’s gate, did everything he asked of her and helped him fulfill his destiny. 

Back then, gaining his father’s love and acceptance had come from his arrival. Just coming to help was enough for Stoick…though seeing the Red Death with his own eyes probably helped. 

But for the rest of the Vikings, for everyone else that ridiculed him, his outcast had to be traded for. He lost his leg, but found a place in the tribe. 

Except…Astrid never needed any of that. She was there from that magical flight, and by his side, she’d remain. Without her, he’d still be on that cliff, watching his father and Toothless sail away. 

Without her…

What was he going to do? 

Stopping the hunters, saving the dragons, it was all the right thing to do, and he was driven to do it. But for how long? Without her rallying beside him, how long would his spirit hold up before it broke? 

He was just one man. Less than one man, really, with less than a whole dragon. They could do great things, had done great things. 

But without Astrid, the victories wouldn’t be as sweet, and the losses would hurt even more. 

But he’d do it. He’d smile and keep her at arms length, if that’s where she wanted to be. All he wanted was for her to be happy. 

Oh gods, what if she fell in love with someone? With this new perspective, he was certain she was just not interested in love and more interested in the fight. What if that changed? What if she met someone on their travels? What if he had to watch her fall in love and he had to pretend to be happy for her? 

No. No Odin, please no. That might actually kill him. 

The dinner bell rang. Everyone else was probably gathered already, and this was just for his benefit. 

Dare he bother? Well, if he didn’t go, Astrid would surely check on him. And he just couldn’t handle that right now. 

He patted Toothless’ belly. “Alright, you big lug, let me up.” 

Toothless warbled a protest, but unfurled his legs and wings so Hiccup could crawl out. 

From here, Hiccup could see and hear that it had started raining. Not too hard, but enough to be a pain to fly in. 

“Ah, sorry bud. Probably no flight tonight. Looks like you can go back to napping.” 

Toothless cocked his head to the side, concerned. 

Hiccup went to his wash basin and splashed the freezing cold water on his face, hoping that the evidence of tears would wash away. Maybe Snotlout had told them what happened, and any redness would be attributed to his leg instead of the real problem. 

The rain storm did make his calf ache though, and thinking about it made it flare up. A twinge, enough to be uncomfortable, but not enough to be debilitating like Snotlout thought. Still, to be proactive and to help with his cover story, he took out his cane. A gift from Gobber when they left home, only used on the worst days. 

Well, this was a pretty terrible day. 

“Weerrr?” 

“I’m okay. I’m going to make an appearance, eat some dinner, and then come back. I might even be able to get some work done on that tail.” 

Toothless didn’t seem to care about the tail, just his boy. He let out another concerned wuff and padded closer. 

“You’re smothering me,” Hiccup scolded. “Just…I’m dealing with it.” 

“Rrrggh.” 

“I know…I love you too, bud.” 

Hiccup gave him a scratch behind the ears and then headed out into the rain. 

By the time he reached the clubhouse, he was soaked. As he thought, he was the last to arrive, and everyone looked up as he entered. 

Astrid was up like a shot, jogging over to him. She took his free arm and draped it over her shoulder. 

“You don’t have to—“ 

“You have your cane.” 

“Yeah…” 

She led him to his normal spot, right next to her, and sat him down. Then she took his cane and placed it out of the way, but close enough for him to grab. 

A plate and mug were placed in front of him, probably by Fishlegs, but he wasn’t keeping track. He just stared at his food and idly pushed it around with his fork. 

Having Astrid fret and dote on him made his appetite evaporate. 

Someone was talking, maybe Snotlout or the twins. They were telling a joke, or maybe a story. There was laughter which petered out to companionable silence. 

“What about you, Hiccup?” Heather asked. “We didn’t see you at all today. What were you up to?” 

He frowned slightly, scrounging up a story. 

“Ex-nay on the ay-day,” whispered Snotlout, still loud enough everyone heard. 

“Yeah, on bad leg days, you don’t want to know what he was up to,” said Tuff, who then received an elbow to the gut. 

He took it and ran with it. “Well, I had an idea for a new tailfin,” Hiccup began. “Then I got stuck and went for a walk. I…pulled something, and spent the rest of the day laying down.” He shrugged. “Not very interesting.” 

“…I’m sorry to hear that.” 

Hiccup nodded, always awkward when people apologized for his leg pain. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. No one needed to apologize. 

Heather got this big, mischievous grin across her lips and said, “I know what will cheer you up!” 

Astrid whipped her head over to glare at Heather. “Not now.” 

Heather seemed to ignore her, however, as she declared, “let’s go on a date!” 

The room went silent. Snotlout dropped his fork. Ruffnut choked on her drink. 

Not so subtly, everyone looked at Astrid. Hiccup glanced at her from his periphery, but didn’t linger. 

Her face was stony cold, and borderline murderous. 

“Well?” Heather prodded. “What do you say? Unless…you have your eye on someone else…” 

“Heather.” Astrid snapped. 

Ah. So this was a game she was playing. Well, unfortunately, this wasn’t a game to Hiccup. His feelings, Astrid’s lack of feelings, it wasn’t amusing. It wasn’t fun. It was beyond painful, and he wasn’t doing this. 

“Not interested,” he said coldly. 

The gasps from the group weren’t a surprise. He never spoke harshly to anyone without good reason. And even then, Heather hadn’t ever been on the receiving end.

Then he stood, left his cane behind, left a full plate of food, and walked with purpose out of the clubhouse and into the pouring rain. 

He could hear the chaos before he was out of earshot. 

“I tried to warn you, Muttonhead!” Astrid shouted, clearly angry. 

“What the hell was that?!” Ruffnut barked. 

“I didn’t think he’d react like that!” Heather defended. 

And then he was off, trying to get away from them. Going back to his hut was a sure fire way to get sought out quickly, or Toothless would be smothering him again. 

Either way, back out into the rain it was. No particular destination, he just wandered, letting the rain soak him through. 

Eventually, he walked to the edge of the landing strip, and his escape came to an end. No where else to go, but he was far enough away for now, and in the downpour, in the dark of the evening, no one would look for him out here. 

Fresh hot tears mingled with the cold rain on his face. 

He sighed in exasperation. “Just stop crying already,” he scolded himself. “It’s not doing any good.” 

But that only made him feel worse and cry harder. 

“Hey,” Astrid’s voice cut through his sorrow. It was stern, almost motherly. “Why are you out here? Why are you standing?” 

So much for getting away for a while…

He didn’t respond, didn’t turn to her, nothing. But he did cross his arms, more to hug himself than anything. 

“Snotlout said he found you weeping in pain earlier. Do I need to carry you?” 

“No.” 

“I brought your cane. Let’s go back to your hut and get you a hot rag.” 

His breath hitched. She was so thoughtful, so thorough. And so self-sacrificing! Heather, her best friend, was here, and Astrid was doting on him. 

He couldn’t let her do that. 

“Astrid, could you leave me alone?” He croaked. 

That was decidedly not the correct thing to say to get her off his back, as she was immediately in front of him, brows drawn and frowning hard. “No way in Midgard am I leaving you alone right now. It’s my job to make sure you’re taken care of.” 

He clenched his eyes shut. “Who gave you that job? My dad?” 

“I gave it to myself.” She poked his chest. “Because you’re too reckless and impulsive for your own good. Someone needs to make sure you don’t break your neck!” 

“You don’t need to do that.” 

“No? You’re all good to just stand out here and get sick? You’re content to be out the rest of the week with leg pain?” 

“My leg isn’t the problem!” He barked. “Now leave me alone!” 

Her eyes went wide and she took a step closer, resting a hand on his shoulder. “What happened?” 

He scoffed and turned away. 

But Astrid persisted. She reached up and pushed his sopping wet bangs out of his face. Her touch was tender and so full of love, it might as well be a blow from a mace. 

“Talk to me, Hiccup. You can trust me.” 

He looked back at her, a lump in his throat. Hopefully it was dark enough out that she couldn’t see the redness on his face. 

Might as well just rip the Nadder quill out, right? Have this conversation and figure out where they stand? That was the smart thing. It would probably help figure out where to go from here. 

A hot tear slipped between the frigid rain drops. 

“I did go on a walk,” he began. “I went to your clearing, and heard you say my name…and I decided to eavesdrop.” 

Astrid’s eyes blew wide as she covered her mouth. “Oh Odin…how much did you hear?” 

“It started with Heather asking if we were a couple and I left when you encouraged her to ask me out.” 

“All of it,” she cringed. “You heard all of it.” 

“So…I just…I thought…” he sighed. “I’m trying to come to terms with it. I had…expectations, or maybe assumptions, and didn’t realize you…didn’t feel the same.” The last bit came out with a croak. 

“Hiccup…” 

“So that’s what happened,” he glanced away. “You’re so deeply involved with every part of my life, I’m trying to figure out how to get over you and —“ 

She pressed her fingers to his lips. “Stop right there,” she snapped. “You’re not making any decisions like that.” 

“Astrid…” he mumbled against her hand. 

“Let me finish.” She huffed. “That conversation wasn’t meant for you.” 

“I know, I shouldn’t have lis—“ 

She punched him in the arm, though not too hard, just enough to shut him up. 

“Ow!” 

“I’m not done,” she scolded. “Hiccup, I lied to Heather. I didn’t want to talk to her about my feelings for you, but I know her. She would have pestered me until I told the truth. I still don’t think she believed me.” 

“You were very convincing.” 

She held his face. “But it was a lie. You know I care a lot about you, right?” 

He felt his mouth tremble. “Yeah…?”

She smiled and wiped over his cheek with her thumb. “You think I’d come looking for you in this storm and worrying myself sick over you and somehow not be utterly crazy about you? You’re not the genius I thought.” 

He started to feel better. A smile pulled on his lips. “You’re crazy about me?” 

“Apparently you’re the only one it wasn’t obvious to.” 

“Sorry for being dumb.” He sniffed. “I think there’s something wrong with my brain sometimes, because I can’t accept compliments or take people at face value.” 

She shook her head. “You aren’t dumb, Hiccup. We never talked about it. I guess we both just made assumptions.” 

He nodded, before clenched his eyes shut to stop the fresh round of tears that cropped up. “No no, no more of that please,” he muttered. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Astrid pleaded, gently brushing his face with her fingertips. “I’m sorry I hurt you.” 

“You didn’t mean to.” 

“That doesn’t mean it didn’t still hurt.” 

He took a shaky breath. “Why did you encourage Heather to ask me out?” 

She actually laughed. “Oh my gods, that was so stupid! I knew exactly what she was doing. She likes Fishlegs after all. She was trying to get me to protest and get all possessive. But it was obvious, so I called her bluff.” 

“You sure did.” 

“I definitely didn’t think she’d go through with it. Maybe she was trying to get me to throw up a stink at dinner. Or she was hoping that you’d say ‘sorry, but I have someone I like’ or something.” 

“Was I too harsh?” 

“No!” She cackled. “That’ll teach her to be nosy!” 

Hiccup exhaled, feeling much better. Things weren’t as dire as he feared, and he hadn’t hurt Heather’s feelings. “What were your assumptions?” 

She smiled softly, playing with the hair at his nape. “Well, I assumed you still had that ginormous crush on me that you had when we were kids. I figured when the time was right, and you felt like things were stable, you’d make a move. You need a wife and heir, afterall. What did you assume?” 

Even though he knew she’d take it well, confessing still was difficult and his words got caught in his tight throat. With glassy eyes and a wispy voice, he told her, “I thought you’d always be by my side. I thought we’d grow old together. I thought…things wouldn’t be too different, but I’d be allowed to kiss you and hold you…I assumed you were mine.” 

She smiled. “Well, it sounds like we’re on the same page now. I’m not going anywhere. Things are pretty crazy, so feel free to take as much time as you need. Make that move when you’re ready.” 

“Okay.” 

He grabbed her roughly by the hips and pulled her to him. In a flash, his lips were on hers, clumsy and desperately kissing, driven by need and desire. Hope was rekindled in his heart and he wasn’t wasting another moment.

Astrid smiled against his lips and returned the kiss. She dug her fingers into his drenched hair and pressed herself firmly against him. 

Hiccup pulled away far enough to press more fierce kisses across her jaw and down her neck. “I’m crazy about you too,” he murmured against her skin. “I spent the day thinking about how I was going to go on without you. What my life would look like if I didn’t have you by my side.” He hungrily grabbed her and held her tight, nuzzling into her neck. “I don’t think I could do it.” 

“I don’t want to live in a world without you,” Astrid reminded him. “And you don’t, babe. I’m not going anywhere.” 

“You swear?” 

“I don’t want to be anywhere else. You’ve made me the person I am today. Even the darkest, roughest days we have are tolerable because I’m with you.” 

“I feel the same,” he confessed, before kissing her again. “I love you, Astrid Hofferson. I'm going to make a contract with your parents as soon as possible, because I’m going to marry you. If there are no objections?” 

“None from me.” 

“Then let’s iron out the details later.” He kissed her fiercely, digging his fingers into her hips as he held her possessively. 

Astrid returned the hold, almost painfully tugging on his hair.

They nipped at each other, trying to figure out how this whole ‘kissing’ thing worked, and trying desperately to devour the other. 

Tongues brushed together, though neither knew who started it. Soon their desperate kisses turned into lustful exploration, filled with pleased moans and the awkward mouth noises that came from sloppy kissing. Then that led to giggles. 

“How long were you waiting for me?” He asked before kissing her jaw and neck. 

Astrid lazily looped her arms over his shoulders and tilted her head to the side to give him more access. “Hmmm…I liked you for a long time. That first flight with Toothless, when you showed me how good life could be and that peace was possible…I remembered thinking ‘I’m probably going to end up marrying this boy’ kind of out of nowhere. And the thought didn’t disgust me, so I hugged you.” 

He remembered that hug. Her arms around him were a sign that he’d won her over to his side. He just didn’t realize how much he’d won her over. “Really?” 

“Mmmhmm. Of course, I didn’t know what the turning point would be. I just knew that you were going to do great things and I wanted to be a part of all of it.” 

“Astrid…” 

“I think I started getting impatient after we took down Dagur at Outcast island. Our enemies were all taken care of, and there was finally peace.” 

“Three years ago?”

“More or less.” 

He frowned. “Why didn’t you make the move?” 

“I did. Three times. But you never really acknowledge it. Just kinda smiled at me.” 

His jaw dropped. She had him. She was absolutely right! “Oh Astrid…I’m so sorry. I didn’t know—” 

“Hush. You just weren’t ready.” 

“I’m pretty extra sure I was, I just—I didn’t—!” 

She silenced him with a kiss. “All in the past, babe. You’re mine now.” 

“Always have been.” He returned the kiss, overwhelmed with the sheer love for her that this day had stirred up inside him. “Always will be.” 

She pulled away for a moment, pushing his sopping wet hair out of his face. They were both drenched to the bone, but the heat they were giving off kept them plenty warm. “You know, once we let people know that we’re officially together, Berk’s going to be reluctant to let us live out here unsupervised.” 

He pouted for a moment, knowing she was right, before growing a wicked grin. “You know who you’re talking to, right? I’ve obliterated every tradition thrown at me. If I tell my dad we’re together, he’ll give me some half-assed lecture about being careful, and then he’ll give me a wink with a twinkle in his eye.” 

She chuckled. “You think?” 

“That’s what he did when we moved out here.” 

She barked a loud laugh at that, throwing her head back in delight. 

Hiccup took the opportunity to swoop in and kiss at her throat, tonguing her when he reached her pulse point. 

The action made her shiver. 

“Oh my lady,” he pouted, though he wasn’t all that choked up about it. “You're soaked through! Maybe we should go back to my hut…” he leaned in and spoke in her ear. “And get out of these wet clothes?” 

She poked his nose. “You’re naughty. I’m going to have to keep an eye on you.” 

“You can say no.” 

“I didn’t.”

His eyes widened in excitement. “Race you?” 

“You can try, Peg-Leg Pete.” 

“Excuse me?!” 

She burst from his arms with a cackle and ran down the ramp towards their huts. 

—-

Toothless was resting. Not sleeping, not even dosing. Just resting. He had his head on his paws as he grumbled in irritation. 

Something had hurt his boy. And it was a pain he couldn’t do anything about, because it was inside. One of those pains that would take time and love to heal. 

Just as Toothless shifted on his rock again, trying to get comfortable, the roller door to the hut opened, and he perked up. Hiccup was back! 

With Astrid? 

He tilted his head in confusion. Wasn’t Astrid the cause of his pain? What was she doing here? 

Toothless watched as the two talked in hushed tones, punctuated with that weird human lip contact and giggles. 

The smile on Hiccup’s face reassured him that things were turning around. 

Then the two were taking off their outer skins and draping them near the fire. Then they were down to their vulnerable pink states and touching each other with their paws and tongues. 

Toothless really didn’t want to know where this was going, as humans were notorious for having the weirdest mating rituals. 

Hiccup seemed fine. Better than fine, really, so Toothless made his hasty retreat to the stables to get away…not without smacking his boy’s bare butt with his tail. 

“Hey!”

[theredcuyo]

I know i wrote about Sqq wingmaning HuaLian and Wangxian but he's not exactly better than them, he's just good at hiding it

So, here's how his first enconter with Wwx went

After he stopped screaming, Wwx pulled him out of the earth and gave him some spare clothes (Definitely not Binghe's and definitely not on purpose) he was trying to act as if he didn't know what was going on but it didn't last long, stupid reflexes "So... How should i address...?"

"Shen Qinqiu is fine, i'm not exactly a peak lord anym-..."

"... I'm sorry, was your identity being hidden?" Wwx asked, as they started to walk down the mountain, he has drawn a teleportation array in the nearest town

"You must know what happened when i passed, don't you?"

"Oh, yeah... Ge has been very affected by it, that's why i'm here after all"

"Your ge?" As Sy was considering his chances of being able to run away succesfully now, Wwx sighed

"Yes, my ge, you see, he's been really sad since you died, so i've been searching to make my ge happy, and now you're here so!"

Just who the fuck was this man? Someone he knew? Yue Qiyuan? He had a close relationship with the original goods but not sibblings like this definitely, ah, perhaps it was an admirer? Still, how did this person find him? "May i ask... How, exactly?"

"Oh! That's easy, look here" Wwx pulled a the soul compass out of his sleeve, Sy looked at it for a second before staring at the man again "This is a soul compass, it can direct you to someone's soul after certain conditions are met, it's not perfect yet, but nine out of my ten tests have worked, even when someone changes appearence"

"... And it pointed you to me...?"

"Exactly!"

Sy sighed, fine, there was very little chance of him getting away, but- "System?" He mentally asked out of habit

Radio silence, he was met with nothing, so that wouldn't work either "Can i ask how you can be sure you didn't get the wrong person?"

"Well, you said it was you, and also when i searched for Lord Shen Qinqiu, i needed to know what the appearence looked like, so i look a peek at your corpse and-

Sy internally yelled AT MY WHAT?! "Aside from that, you do look quite a lot, even in this uh... Other body?"

"Ah, but surely there's a lot of people who look like me?"

"... Not really actually, my ge made sure of that"

No, really, was there no way for him to scape?, just who was this guy's brother?! "If you really want to know, there's one more thing"

"There is?"

"I initially got two signals, but one was too close to ge for it to be and also, someone came and told me which one was more likely"

Sy didn't like where this was going "Who would that be...?"

"One of my ge's underlings, oh right, he told me to tell you something when i found You"

Sy reapeted the please don't be mantra on his head when Wwx talked again "He said 'Sorry Cucumber-bro, i still want to live'"

He was going to kill that hack author for real this time! First of all, they didn't ask you! Second, a little bit of warning could've been appreciated for such betrayal! And third, even if he was going to be found anyway, he could've liked they help here! Also, this was A-Ying wasn't he?! "... I see"

"I will thank him later, oh, Ge probably also will" Sy is SO dead, he's so, SO dead! A-Ying is taking him to Binghe isn't he?! Was his dead not enough to end with the resentment?! Did he want to be the one to finish him off that badly?!

He laughed nerviously, maybe he could get along with A-Ying and he'd take pity on him? Did this child even know why Binghe wanted him?! "Is that so? Who could've thought he still wanted to see this old man"

Wwx laughed at that, did he know? was he a sadist? "Of course ge wants to see his master, he's barely thought of anything else since he found me and Hong-er"

Binghe, please remember he was good to your little brothers too! "Really? But this old man doesn't have anything else to teach him"

Wwx snickered at that, and Sy was starting to seriously consider he might be a sadist "Oh, no, no, he surely thinks there are a few things"

He might regret it, but- "Do enlighten me please"

At that, Wwx looked at him confused for a second, before an idea apparently clicked on his brain, his ge said his Master wasn't good at taking indirects, was he? Oh, well, maybe he could help a bit "Like... How to kiss!"

Sy froze for a moment "E-excuse me?"

Wwx nodded solemly "And to hold hands, and how to plan dates, ah, but i think ge might already have a few ideas"

"Wouldn't... Shouldn't he have dozens of maidens he can do that with?"

Oh, was that the problem? Was his ge's Master not aware that his ge was a cut-slevee?"Why would he go with someone who he doesn't like?"

Sy really wanted to ask, why would he go with me then? But instead said "Then shouldn't he go with a young maiden...?"

Alright, he was doing this, Ge was going to owe him a big one here"The only person ge likes- no, loves, is Shen Qinqiu"

Sy didn't really believe him, but the seed planted blossomed when he saw Binghe again

Wwx had taken him to a palace underground, pretty much left him to his devices with someone to keep an eye on him so he wouldn't run into anything dangerous, and went to get his brother

The person watching him was luckily for him, Airplane shooting up towards the sky

The person having to watch over the recently found Shen Qingqiu was, unfortunately for him, Shang Qinghua "Bro i can explain!"

"Explaining My ass! You sold me!" He yelled, running behind him with a newly acquired fan that Wwx bought him in the city, or more exactly, picked out, threw his way, and put into his brothers "tab"

"I wanted to live!"

"You didn't have to say anything!"

"It's for your own good! Listen here, he was already searching for you! Do You know why?!"

"Because Binghe wants to kill me, that's why!"

"What?! No! He actually-"

"... Shizun thought i wanted to kill him...?" Asked a voice that was holding just by a tread, a voice that Shen Yuan recognized in an instant

In the moment it took for him to turn around, Wwx grabbed Sqh and run out of the room, but stayed in close vicinity, he wanted to see how this went "I..."

"Shizun..." Binghe slowly made his way over, and Sy couldn't help but back away "So, Shizun really..."

"This Master..." He sighed, if Binghe really wanted to kill him this might've been easier "This Master knows what he is deserving of, that's all"

----

Basically, Wwx wingmaned and speedran Bingqiu kind of on accident

The only reason Sqq didn't actually run away completely is because he's starting to doubt himself thanks to Wwx, because well- could he be right...?

And Binghe is calmer thanks to him too, yes he's still been grieving for 5 years, but for 3 of them he's had two people who do love him by his side and who are good at dealing with demonic energy overall, so Xin Mo didn't make as much of a mess of him as in canon (It still does, is just kinda delayed)

Anyway, uff, long ass post, really made me consider writting a fic

[iero]

My appointment with the gynecologist is tomorrow after work after the ER found a large ovarian cyst and a large uterine fibroid on an ultrasound and I literally have no fucking clue what to expect… Scared.

[imflyingfish]

working in an art gallery and talking to a lot of full time artists has given me CRAZY imposter syndrome btw lmao

[geddy-leesbian]

probably not going to get to go to the prerelease but I want to put on the outfit I planned anyways and do my makeup but also it feels weird doing that while my mom is in the hospital but also it's not like there's anything I can do to help her

[friskyeee]

Super random but my tiktok fyp is being flooded with people celebrating the united Healthcare ceos death again and I'm so happy about it, literally could not be more filled with glee, it's my favorite thing to see

[aroacedavestrider]

(Multiple System ask meme) 7, 10, 21?

i sent this to myself so itd look neater lol. originally asked by @flare-dragon

heres 7 heres 21 and heres the ask meme if you wanna send one in

10.) unexplored rooms / areas?

tldr: used to be this dark pit we call The Basement but we undarked it and now we hang out down there 👍

this ones interesting i think so there used to be one area that was unknown territory for a while. like i said in #7 our brainworld is pretty much exactly our childhood best friends house which like. i still know every detail of that building i spent so much time there only thing off is The Basement. which is like between the front room and the kitchen to the left. and that is Not where the basement in her real house is, thats just a wall irl not an actual space to put a staircase or anything for a while it was just this dark ominous Void down there. and it was originally where like near-dormant headmates went ig? like in 2020ish our feferi went down there cause smth FUCKED UP happened while she was at pilot and she straight up Did Not come out of The Basement for two real life years fef came back out around last year tho and as she was getting better we kinda decided "yknow what. the dark depressing void sucks mad shit. its OUR brain lets decorate" so as we worked shit out it gradually like lit up and now its kind of a cool hangout area

[tanadrin]

And God said, "Behold! I have created the fourth primordial force: the weak interaction!"

And the angels all clapped and nodded politely, and there was a long silence; and finally Verchiel, the Angel of Grace, spoke up and asked, "Er, what exactly does it do, O Fashioner?"

And God said, "What do you mean, 'what does it do?' It's the fourth fundamental force of the universe."

And Verchiel said, "You mentioned that. Um. But it's just that the other three sort of have a brand, you know? Gravity helps build large-scale structures, acts over vast cosmic distances, shapes time and space. The strong force is secret, hidden, binding together quarks and all that. Electromagnetism, very cool stuff, somewhere in between. We're all big fans of the whole magnetic monopole double bluff, very clever. But, er. What does this 'weak interaction' do?"

And God said, "It mediates radioactive decay. Sort of."

And Verchiel said, "Radioactive decay? All radioactive decay?"

And God said, "No. Just some kinds."

And Zephaniel, the Chief of the Ishim spoke, and he said, "A whole independent force just to mediate some kinds of radioactive decay?"

And God said, "Well. Not totally independent. Technically it's related to electromagnetism."

And Zephaniel said, "Wait, it's not even a real force?"

And God said, "It's totally a real force. It's just that it's one aspect of a combined electromagnetic and weak force. An electro-weak force, if you will."

And Metatron, the Celestial Scribe, scratched his head at this, but said nothing.

And Cambiel, the Angel of Transformation, said, "Maybe you can walk us through it from the top."

And God Sighed an immense Sigh, and said, "All right, fine.

"So the way it works is that all of space and time is permeated by a field that has imaginary mass."

And Cambiel said, "Imaginary mass, O Generous Provider?"

And God said, "Yes, imaginary mass. It's tachyonic, d'you see?"

And Sarathiel, the Angel of Discipline, said, "Wait a minute, I thought we agreed nothing was going to travel faster than light? All that 'c' business and the whole Lorentz transformation thing. What's happening with that?"

And God said, "Let me finish. The field is tachyonic. The particles in the field all move slower than light."

And Sarathiel had to think about this for a second.

And God said, "The point is, a field with imaginary mass has a non-zero vacuum expectation value."

And this really gave Sarathiel trouble, since he had never been very good at math.

And God, seeing this, went back to explain. "Most fields, like the electromagnetic field, have no effect when they are at their lowest energy state. It's like they're not there at all. If you give a field imaginary mass, then it vanishes only when it's at a very high energy state, and at a low energy state, it has a nonzero value everywhere."

And Sarathiel nodded, but he was confused, because he didn't understand why God would create such a thing.

But Verchiel thought he saw where God was going with this, and he was amazed.

"Truly, you are cunning beyond measure, O Only One Certainly Sound and Genuine in Truth! Only now do I understand your design! For in order to make the universe homogenous and isotropic, it is necessary that all large-scale fluctuations in temperature and mass must be evened out early in the history of the cosmos; and therefore, you have designed a field which will rapidly expand space after the Big Bang, many orders of magnitude in brief moments, and then swiftly and spontaneously decay as it gives up the energy it began with, giving rise to radiation and particles of all kinds as it does, which will condense into the material universe! It is a wonder to behold."

And God said, "What? No. I mean I did, but this isn't the inflaton field I'm talking about. This is something else."

And Verchiel said, "Wait, it's not?"

And God said, "No, I'm going to use a different field to drive cosmic inflation. The properties of this field are totally different."

And now Verchiel was also confused, and lapsed into silence.

And God said, "Like I was saying, this field is a scalar field with imaginary mass, and it does spontaneously decay to a ground state with a non-zero value. But it's not the inflaton field. Instead it combines with the W1, W2, W3, and B bosons."

And Metatron began to flip back through the pages of the Heavenly Record trying to figure out where he'd lost the thread.

And Zephaniel said, "The what bosons?"

And God said, "The W1, W2, W3, and B bosons. I'm sure I mentioned them. You know, the massless bosons?"

And Zephaniel said, "I'm pretty sure we only talked about the W+, W-, and Z0 bosons. All of which you said were going to have mass, O Owner of All Sovereignty."

And God said, "Yes, but this is how they get them, you see. Once this field acquires a nonzero value everywhere, the massless bosons interact with it and get mass. Well, some of them do. They turn into the W+, W-, and Z0 boson. And the photon."

And Zephaniel said, "…and the photon, O Accepter of Invocation?"

And God said, "Well, I did say I was going to unify the electromagnetic force and the weak interaction, didn't I? This is how. Above the critical temperature--right now I'm thinking 10^15 K, but I'm open to feedback on that one--electromagnetism and the weak force act as a single unifying force. Below that temperature, the field gets a nonzero value, you get three massive bosons to mediate the weak interaction, and the photon pops out seperately."

And Zephaniel said, "That seems… a bit overly complicated, doesn't it, O Reinstater Who Brings Back All?"

And God said, "No, it's exactly what we need. Look, that way the W and Z bosons have something to do, but the weak interaction still only travels short distances. Gravity is still the star of the show on cosmic scales, as it were. But now quarks and leptons can swap their flavor!"

And Zephaniel said, rather weakly, "Their… flavor, O Source of Good?"

And God said, "It's this new quantum number I'm trying out, to give the three generations of matter more unique identities."

And Cambiel said, "Three generations of matter? Now I'm really confused."

And God said, "I'm sure I mentioned this. You've got the lightest quarks and leptons, and then two heavier versions of each that can decay into the lighter versions."

And Cambiel said, "What do they do? New kinds of chemistry, is it?"

And God said, "Well, no. Mostly they just decay in a couple microseconds. Or even faster."

And Zephaniel began to rub his temples, and Cambiel sniffed.

And Cambiel said, "This all seems a bit ad hoc to me. Not really the stuff of an elegant and obviously ordered Creation. Why not have four generations of matter? Why not a trillion?"

And God began to grow irritable, and said, "Well, that's not really up to you, now is it? We're going to have three generations of matter, and the electroweak force, and that's that!"

And Zephaniel said, "As long as we are unifying fundamental forces, perhaps we could somehow also unify the electroweak interaction with the strong interaction, or even gravity."

And God hesitated saying, "Well, I haven't decided about that yet. I'm not sure I want gravity to be quantized, you know? Seems to take some of the geometric elegance out of general relativity."

And now it was Zephaniel's turn to sigh, and he bowed his head. "As you wish, O Possessor of Authority of Decisions and Judgement."

[kenmaspuddinghair]

Honorably discharged partially disabled Simon, who swears he is perfectly fine and capable of doing everything himself. But it doesn’t really matter what he thinks says because Price sees differently. He sees the way Simon’s hands shake and how he’s started fidgeting when he’s never done that in the past, he can see Simon’s right side, the side that was crushed under rubble during an attack, he sees it shake and almost falter every time Simon puts even a little bit to much weight on it, but what worry’s Price the most is when Simon zones out and stops paying attention to his surroundings or whatever he’s doing. Not to mention now Simon has to go back and live in civilization, when all he’s known is military life since he was still a teen.

So although Simon claims he’s fine, Price gets him live-in-help, you. You’ve been with him the past week and although he rarely talks you’ve learned a few things. The blinds always need to be fully open unless he’s sleeping, he needs to be able to see what’s happening but it’ll keep him up when he’s trying to sleep, so they close at night. He gets very tense when he can’t see your hands, it hurts you a little to know he doesn’t trust you but you understand. He can't cook at all, unless you prepare food for him he’ll only eat a prepackaged dinner nothing else, of course that isn't healthy so you've started fixing him both breakfast and lunch which he accepts with a grunt but he doesn’t eat till you’ve started. He never takes off his mask around you unless he's eating and even still only up to his nose. Lastly you've noticed something always sparked in his eyes when you called him Simon, you haven't been able to figure out what it is so instead of risking offending him or something, you've stuck to calling him Ghost.

Price chose you for two reasons, you were quite, something he thought Simon would like, he was very wrong. It’s probably the oddest thing about him, he doesn’t like when you're super quiet you've learned it cause he doesn’t know where you are or what you’re planning the other reason is Price hired you is because you were a military nurse for quite a bit so you would always be there for Simon. This was something Simon actually did like it meant he didn’t have to leave his flat just to see a doctor, what he didn’t think about though was the cut and bruise on his face that he would have to remove his balaclava for.

“Okay Ghost” you paused not sure how he would react to having to take his mask off “I-i need you to remove your mask for me please” almost immediately he grunted out a why “because you have a cut and bruise on your face and I need to make sure it’s healing properly” Simon stilled completely for a few seconds before he slowly pulled the balaclava completely off. You took a second looking over his entire face before you brought your hand up inspecting the area “your bruise is completely gone” you whispered slightly surprised it had only been a week, you went to write it down but the moment your hand left his face he spoke up “it’s still ere, jus can’t see it” carefully your brought you hand back to his face to carefully push on his check “does that hurt” “bit” was all he grunted out, you hummed to yourself as you removed your hand and started writing, but had you been looking at him you would have seen the almost pout gracing his face.

Once you finally looked back up, placing your hand on his face “okay let’s finish this quickly” you say looking over his scar “I know I’m not that pretty but you ain’t gotta rush” he said in the quietest voice. You looked up into his eyes quickly only to find them looking back at you with what you could only describe as curiosity mixed with need “Gh-Simon that’s not what I meant, your very beautiful I just thought you wouldn't want me touching or looking at your face any more since you always hide it behind that mask” he never replied to you, just kept staring with that look in his eyes. Finally you peeled your eyes away, finished writing whatever you needed to in your book then you got up and walked away “I’m gonna fix us some lunch, okay Simon?” you called from in the kitchen already, and that’s when Simon managed to place the feeling he had been having every time he saw you. He liked you, he had a crush, a crush! “Simon?” You called again “yeah okay” he called back, he wasn’t gonna fuck this up, not when he thinks he might have found a new purpose in life.

pt 2 here

[daemonbrain]

"One of me is cute but two though!"

2.4k, cw: breeding kink, smut, kinda baby trapping (?), not proofread

a/n: based off Juno by Sabrina Carpenter hehe happy reading :)

Simon Riley who would go to the ends of the earth for his bird. You wanted to watch your favorite movie for the millionth time with him? Done. You were craving take out from that special spot across town in the middle of the night? He’s placing your order and grabbing his keys to go pick it up after a quick goodbye kiss. You wanted him to kill a little red-haired prick who got too close to you -grazed your arm- yesterday at 17:37 while in a crowded line when he went to the loo, with his bare hands? Fan-tastic. (He may be projecting a little)

But he was worried. He might not be the most perceptive man, but he wasn’t so thick headed he couldn’t see the signs.

The way you made googly eyes at every baby you passed by. Fuck sakes he had never seen so. many. babies. 

Little things everywhere nowadays, though it might just be he’s now paying enough attention to notice. It definitely helped the unintentional search that your grip on his arm tightened every time you saw one. Your soft coos as you turned to him to say for a third time in a row that the babe was the “cutest thing you had ever seen”.

He loved you like he loved his gun after it got him out of a tough spot (he loved you more, but he's pretty poor at putting an example on it), but there was one thing he was wholly unsure he could give you. Being a father has never been something he was sure of, his own making his childhood a living hell assuring him that it wasn’t in his genes or anywhere in his future. He came to terms with that years ago and shoved the idea out of his mind entirely. 

As you both sat down at a coffee shop while taking a break from your park walk, you just happened to get seated right next to another woman, a stroller in your direct view.

Fuckin’ great.

Biting your lip you take a peek at the chubbiest little thing in a deep sleep. Catching the gaze of the mother you smile. “She’s adorable” you chirped. 

As the mother responded with a smile of her own, Simon felt a foot gently nudging his leg as gave him the prettiest eyes. Did you even try to hide it anymore? No, you really didn’t. Eyes filled with thinly veiled intentions, eyes that said “Look how cute! Jump across this table and give me one now,” 

“Isn’t she cute Si?!”

He sighed and replied in his usual grumble, “course, ‘er little jumper is nice.” Tactics. Swiftly move out from the topic and do not let the missus see the little bows… on the jumper… he just pointed- for fucks sake you saw it.

After quite some time giggling with the mother over photos, because of course that had to be the natural progression of things, Simon observed in his characteristic shadow-like demeanor before the little one began to fuss in her sleep. The mother excused herself and the babe to nurse and it’s then you finally turn back to your silent companion with your usual beaming.

“ ‘avin fun there, yeah?” He laughed which came out more as a snort as you mockingly kicked him under the table.

“I am as a matter of fact!”

Pulling his hands into the air in surrender he looks you head on. “Okay, I get it.”

“The baby was just so- ugh! Did you see how chubby she was? Her little hair.. Gosh!” Stay on task. Do not get distracted by the target's beautiful smile or laugh. Someone had to be the voice of rationale after all.

“Like I said ‘er jumper was nice, luv.”

When the pout came to your lips, he considered it a success (you were hot either way) and chalked the whole thing as a minor bump in the road. Whatever this baby fever was would pass.

Nonetheless, he should’ve known his bird better than that. She wasn’t a quitter, that’s for damn sure. As you cooked up dinner in that cute apron and served it plated up so nicely it dawned on him just how… domestic this all was.

It was nice, he concluded. Calm.

You remained pensive and quiet for the most part during dinner, clearly desperate to say what you had been on your mind for weeks. He could see the way your mind's gears turned, wanting to blurt it out. Like an animal going feral at the bars of its cage. Except your the animal and your cage is the inherent trust you will not go awol and chuck your birth control pills into the trash while he’s not watching.

“Simon…” 

Here it comes.

Simon grunted out his response while chewing on his food, looking up to meet your cautious gaze. Leaning across the table you gently lay your hand on his which held his fork, pushing it down.

“I’ve been thinking… a lot lately.” There you went with that look again. “Have you… ever thought of kids before? I- I know we’ve had this talk before… but-”

“C’mere.”

He outstretched his big arms and patted his lap. With quick acceptance you hurried over and let him pull you on top of him, one hand on the back of his chair and the other on your ass for support. The deep kneading of it was also for support of course. 

“You know how I feel about them. ‘Is jus not somethin I think about, luvie.” He didn’t dare look away from your eyes. If he was about to take that gleam out of your eyes he at least owed it to you to watch.

You grabbed his face with a light touch and caressed the stubble which had begun to grow with a look beginning to resemble a spot of desperation. Pressing yourself further into his body, you couldn’t help your protests.

“Si.. I just- I want one so bad.” You began to slide your hand down the side of his neck, pressing forward to gently place a kiss. Leaning your forehead in the junction between his shoulder and neck you continued before he could respond.

“Don’t you? A little baby with us all the time.”

Someone had to be the voice of reason and Simon was going to have to put his foot down on this.

“You’re not thinkin straigh’, luv. It would be cute-” He was cut off in shock as he felt the slight rock of your hips as you cowered into his shoulder.

“Just imagine it! One of me is cute enough, but two!” The pace began to speed up as you blatantly started grinding against him. He let out a little huff. Voice of reason. Though his reason was nowhere to be found when he put his hand that was idly on the chair to your backside to encourage the movement.

You knew what came next, you had to sweeten the pot. You knew you were being mean, but you just had to! You were practically given no choice!

“Don’t you want that Si! Don’t you wanna make something together?” You all but pleaded. He looked straight past your head with a crumbling steely demeanor. Fuck.

You already began to tug at his shirt and with a final glare, Simon couldn’t help but look at his pretty bird. His pretty bird on top of the prize she coveted, heat passing between their bodies. Just one time. One time and then they could talk about this properly. 

Simon gathered you up in his arms and stood while pressing an eager kiss to your lips. It was a soft and long thing as he brought you both to the bedroom you shared. He threw you down on the bed and stripped himself as you excitedly did the same.

Smiling up at him as if you won. You did not win. This was not a win, right? You were on your birth control either way, he would pull out as needed. What harm is there in fucking his own girl.

Pushing you on to your back he parted your legs to look what lay between them. There was the prize he was most proud of. Puffy cunt at the mercy of the cool air being pushed out by the vents. You were already beginning to shine.

“You were just waiting for it weren’t you? Knew I couldn’t leave you hanging, yeah?”

With a giggle you spread your thighs further and wiggled your hips teasingly. Simon dropped to his knees and pulled your body to the edge of the bed. Throwing each of your legs on either of his shoulders he spit into your cunt, taking two thick fingers and rubbing it in, catching on to your hole lightly as he played with the slick. He could see the way your stomach tightened as he circled your clit and he winded you up further when he firmly flicked it.

“Si” you whined.

“Wha’ is it?” He grinned as he lowered his head to press a kiss down. Devolving from a kiss, he grabbed onto one of your thighs with a strong grip and began to sloppily lick while you let out your breathy little moans, sensitive to the absolute tank holding you still as he ate straight from the source.

He licked and it just kept going. Dragging his tongue around your cunt, up to your puffy clit. He harshly sucked as he latched on to it drawing a cry from your vulnerable form. Tugging at his hair, he only looks up with his eyes, refusing to pull away his mouth. 

Shaking your head with wide eyes you couldn’t help but push your fluffy little agenda.

“Si please. Please. Please, I need it! I’d never ask for anything else-” you moaned in surprise once again as he added a finger into your hole. Willing himself to pull away from you, Simon continued to fuck his finger into you as he spoke up, spittle and slick coating his mouth. He had to switch gears, use logic (and cum) to deter you.

“We’d never have time. All this?-” He added another finger into your clenching pussy “Gone. We’d be cleaning spit up instead.”

“We’d have a baby!” You exclaimed insistently.

You were practically off the edge, usually by now Simon had you fucked into your own little world. This incessant begging for a little one of your own is keeping you sharper than usual. He’d fix that.

“Please Simon” You pulled him up, the strain of his cock to be inside you encouraging him to follow your movements. He looked at you pretty tits, pretty like everything else on you. Taking a nipple between his fingers and rolling hard.

“These’d get all full.”

Fuck that backtracked his own point. His mind fighting back the onslaught of thoughts at the sight of your tits growing round and heavy because of something he could do. Would your body get all soft- NO.

Lining himself up and looking at that pleading expression, the only time he’d ever seen you so wanting of something you were willing to roll around with nothing else on your mind.

“Just one Si, just one with your eyes your nose your hair-” Your breath went short as he pushed himself in, giving shallow thrusts to feed into your aching cunt. Recomposing yourself you gripped on to his bicep, “Just do it, lock me down tonight.”

Simon couldn’t help the way he subconsciously began pushing your thighs up to give himself a deeper angle, your ankles dangling weightlessly above your head, knees to your chest. The groans which sounded through the room as his hips hammered into you in a desperate chase. 

The two of you could do nothing but stare into each other's eyes, losing yourselves in each other while your cunt squeezes him like a vice. Determined to keep him there, body obstinately stuck on one thing.

 Someone had to be the voice of reason. Someone had to object to a little one with his eyes and your personality. Someone had to be rational and not think about painting the nursery while you waddled about. Someone had to remain level-headed and not imagine the way your eyes would light up with unfettered joy.

You tossed your head back and he couldn’t help but grip your face in his hand, tugging it right back to him.

“With me luv, with me. Look at me.”

Someone had to be rational.

Nodding your head shakily you keep your eyes on the massive man pounding away at you, feeling the way your stomach bulges trying to accommodate all of him, your cunt coaxing him further into the sticky trap.

Your body begging for one thing, you looked like you needed it. Tongue lolling out of your mouth as you were fucked stupid, sweat collecting on your brow. You looked perfect. Your whining swallowed by his own mouth when he presses another kiss to your swollen lips, body enduring in hopes the fat cock ruthlessly disturbing its peace would grant it the big load it craved.

Someone had to be rational?

Maybe it was the way you sucked him in, the way he couldn’t stop thrusting into you, but it’s as if your body sent some message to the receptors in his mind. All that flashed before him images of happy and full and with his baby.

As if you could sense his thoughts, your own peak quickly overcame you white hot. The way you spasmed around him with a loud cry of pure ecstasy.

“Give it to me!” You somehow managed. His mind went blank as drunk off the pleasure as you were, the only thing he could do was thrust, unable to comprehend anything else.

 A shame Simon couldn’t be rational when it came to his bird.

With the final slam of his hips, his release went into the deepest depths of you. His grip on your hips burning from how tight it was as he kept himself flush against you.

It took a few moments to come down from the high. Simon looked at your sweaty face, hazy from lack of energy. Maybe you did win this one, but he really didn't get all this effort (not that he was complaining) if you were still on birth control.

Birth control... which he hasn't had to remind you to take for quite some time...

Out of pure curiosity at his realization, he gently pushed the two of you further up the bed while keeping you plugged up. Opening the first drawer he manages to grab the box which contained your birth control pills. Upon further inspection, he notices it remains unopened and untouched. Shaking his head with a gruff laugh he peers down at you as you shiver from the rumble.

“Dirty girl”

You just smiled.

[lxvvie]

By his estimate, Simon was supposed to have left about thirty minutes ago.

That’s what you did after you had sex and got your rocks off. You get dressed, leave with no fuss as soon as it was over, y’know, and make it a little less awkward than it already was. At least, that’s what Simon always did.

And as always, shit gets flipped on its head when it comes to you.

Thirty minutes ago, he would’ve made it home; he’d have showered, smoked, went to bed, slept like shit, and been ready for the next day. Rinse and repeat. Instead he’s here with you, naked as the day he was born, covered in your sweat and his, covered in your cum and his, and Simon would be a lying bastard if he said he wouldn’t feel a certain way if you kicked him out.

You hadn’t thus far and that’s a good thing. He thinks.

It’s you two, side by side, coming down from that high, body humming from your nighttime activities, and you’re basking in the not-so-awkward silence. He’s staring at the ceiling, you’re probably thinking… or, er, probably not, and Simon’s a little curious but not enough to want to ruin the mood. Which a lie from the pits of hell. You hadn’t moved or said a word, and it’s getting to Simon more than he lets on.

But bloody fuckin’ hell, what do you say after something like this? Thanks for the sex, sweetheart, be seein’ you or Felt good, didn’t it, luv? What about I don’t think I can leave you, let’s go another round so I won’t have to? Jesus Christ, you’re a fuckin’ mess, Riley.

Not that it matters, though, not really, because “nothing ventured, nothing gained” is Simon Riley’s motto when it comes to you and rather than say anything, he simply grabs your hand to gauge the atmosphere. It’s light, gentle, and uncertain, words he’d never use to describe himself but he gets the point across.

After a moment, he figures he miscalculated until you respond in turn, one-upping him and intertwining your fingers together and no, his heart absolutely did not skip a beat. Bloody hell. He turned, glanced down at your hands connected, looked up at you and to his surprise, you met him head on. How long had you been staring at him, sweetheart?

Not that it matters, though, not really, because your face is inching closer and while Simon is many things, ungrateful ain’t one of them, and if you think you’re just gonna leave him with a kiss on the forehead or cheek then you’re sorely mistaken, sweetheart.

But nothing ventured, nothing gained.

And now it’s Simon’s turn to one-up you this time. He meets you halfway, doesn’t give a damn what happens afterward (he does, more than you’ll ever know), and brushes his lips against yours. It’s light, gentle, and uncertain, words he’d never use to describe himself but he gets the point across. And so do you.

Nothing ventured. Nothing gained.

[thestuffedalligator]

“You have to understand that this is a very difficult situation you’ve put us in,” said the king.

There was no change in expression in the metal face, but the glass eyes glittered in a way that he had learned to associate with trouble.

“Oh dear,” it said. Its voice had an edge of brass to it, and sounded as though a trumpet had learned how to speak. “I never realized how difficult this would be. For you.”

And that was another thing – it wasn’t just intelligence that the things had picked up. They also developed a knack for sarcasm. He worried a bit about that.

He tried to pull himself together. “You have to understand that we cannot recognize the Steel Children–”

“Mechanomorphs,” said a voice to his right.

He closed his eyes and breathed a little sigh of despair. “This is hardly the time.”

“We agreed that Mechanomorph is an accurate and sensible name,” said the chief artificer, crossing her arms.

“Yes, but the historian had a fit because he wanted something more romantic. The Steel Children was a happy compromise.”

“Funny how nobody asked us what we think,” said the trumpet voice.

He felt his migraine coming back again.

“You have to understand that we cannot recognize – yes, artificer, the Mechanomorphs – as alive at this time.”

“You’ve said,” it said. “And I must be very stupid, because I don’t understand.”

The king sighed. Well, there was nothing for it. It was an answer that nobody liked because it involved magic, but it was the truth.

“The Mechanomorphs are our key asset in our war against the necromancer,” he said. “It’d be daft to send human soldiers. They’d be turned into skeletons and zombies and ghosts and gods know what else.

“And the reason he can’t do that with the Mechanomorphs,” he said, “is because you aren’t – legally – alive.”

There was a long pause. Gears clicked madly in the metal head.

Then: “That can’t possibly be right.”

The king shrugged. “You aren’t legally alive,” he said. “Therefore, you can’t be legally dead, or undead.”

There was another pause, longer than the first.

“It’s a loophole?”

“That’s magic for you,” the king said. “If we said you were alive, then you could be turned into, er–”

He turned to the chief artificer. “Do they have bones?”

“They have a carbon steel armature.”

“You could be turned into carbon steel skeletons, or – clockwork ghosts, or something. I realize this may be upsetting–”

“We are dying by the dozens on the front because of a loophole.”

“Not legally dying,” said the chief artificer.

The metal head swivelled on its neck to face the chief artificer. It made a metallic scrape as chilly and long as the slither of ice down a dead man’s back.

“Look,” the king said. “We are fully prepared to recognize the Mechanomorphs as alive. We are proud to consider you citizens of the kingdom, and will absolutely meet you at the table when the opportunity rises.

“At this time, however,” he said, trying to sound gentle but firm, “we must ask you to take it up with us after the war.”

The metal face stared. The glass eyes glittered.

Joints locked in righteous indignation sagged with a wheeze of steam. “All right,” it said. “All right. Thank you for your time, your majesty.” It bowed stiffly, turned, and strode out the main hall.

“I think that went rather well,” said the chief artificer.

–

The metal man walked through the castle halls with smooth, precise, pendulum strides. A man could’ve balanced a loaded tea tray on its head.

Another metal man, more patinated than the first, fell into step beside it with a greasy silence. They apparently took no notice of each other.

But a very sensitive ear straining like hell could just possibly listen to the softest brass accompaniment in the world.

It went: “How did that go?”

“As well as you’d imagine.”

“That badly?”

There was a hum. It sounded like a mouse farting in a tin can. “Any word from our interested party?”

“The Overlord has already agreed to recognize the humanity of the Brass Voice. We just have to cross the border.”

“That won’t be easy.”

“And then we’ll be living in the Empire. Endless night, freezing winter, acid rain…”

There was a dreamy sigh.

“Sounds lovely,” said the first of the two figures. “Incidentally, I like the name.”

“Thank you,” said the second. “How do you anticipate the king to react when he finds out?”

Glass eyes glittered like a frost.

“He can take it up with us after the war,” it said.

[ebodebo]

Ghost Garage

—mechanic!simon riley fucking you in his car garage because you couldn’t afford to pay for his services:(( MDNI ofc

“You’re lookin’ at six thousand for a new engine,” Simon says thoughtfully, scribbling a collection of messy additions in his notebook. “And if you’re lookin’ to do just one set of brake pads and rotors,” he says, scribbling some more, “lookin’ at six hundred even for those.”

Your eyes widen at his words because how the fuck were you ever going to be able to afford this? You swallow hard, pondering your following words. “Do you do discounts or something?” You’re sure you sound like an idiot, but you’re desperate.

The corner of his lip quirks at your question as his eyes stay glued to the notebook paper, still scribbling. “No. Still no discounts ere’,” he says, capping his pen, finally looking at you.

You fidget with your hands, eyes on his. “I—um…there’s no way I can…” you begin, turning your gaze away from him, feeling bashful, “…afford that.” Even though you had come to Simon’s garage before, this was just the first time you outwardly told him you couldn’t afford his services.

He leans back in his chair, the base squeaking a little. “Do ya’know how dangerous it is to drive with worn-out brake pads?” he states, placing the pen in his mouth, awaiting your response.

“Yes. I’m aware, but—” you begin, only for him to interrupt.

“But nothin’,” he calmly says, shifty in the chair, eyes shamelessly dragging down your body. You pretend not to notice even though it invokes an immeasurable amount of wetness to gather in your panties.

He can tell you’re nervous—your body language says it all. Clammy hands you wipe off on your jeans every so often, you’re avoiding direct eye contact with him, and the fact he can hear your heartbeat from where he sits.

He shouldn’t even have unholy thoughts of you come across his mind. But, shocker, he did. Every night from the time you first went to the shop all of those four months ago, he would fist himself in the shower thinking about you.

You, who always had that doe-eyed, glossed-over expression. You, who always had to bring Simon a sweet treat when you came, whether it be candy or some fresh-baked cookies you prepared. Oh, and you, who would hug him after he did your car inspections. Ya, he thought about that one a lot.

He considers your predicament. He has a solution, but it’s risky—perhaps too risky?

Eh, Fuck it. What’s he got to lose?

“Tell ya what,” he starts, standing up from his chair and grabbing the notebook paper with the numbers. “I’ll throw this ere’ piece of paper in the trash—hell, I’ll burn it,” he cocks a brow, “If you do somethin’ for me.” He hovers the small, intimidating piece of paper over a small trash can.

“Anything,” you say, desperation coating your voice. He hums, ducking his head to stare at the trashcan.

“I wouldn’t say that,” he says, followed by a gravelly laugh. You gulp, waiting for him to explain.

“I want somethin’ from ya,” he finally looks up at you, wiping his mask-less jaw with his hand. “Somethin’ that isn’t…money.”

You slightly confound your head. “Like I said…anything,” you amend.

He sticks his tongue in his cheek, drops the tainted paper into the trash, and then takes slow, deliberate steps towards you.

You inhale as he stands before you, unsure of his intentions. Exhaling sharply only when he brings his thumb up, dragging it delicately across your jaw, tilting it up so you are looking at him.

“I think we could figure out a way for you to get that work paid in full,” he rumbles, brushing his thumb against your bottom lip. “And a way I could feel that pretty pussy around me.”

Your eyes widen at his words, dumbfounded by his sheer bluntness and vulgarity. Though you admit, you feel a knot start to form in your lower stomach and more wetness pool between your thighs.

“Unless you don’t want to?” His tone his monotone, no signs of resentment as he drops his hand from your face.

“No—I do,” you affirm, even grabbing his hand and then dropping it from embarrassment. “I just didn’t think…you, uh, liked me like that,” you mutter, shifting on your feet and shifting your gaze to the concrete floor you both stand on.

“Oh, trust me. I like you like that,” he laughs lowly, stepping closer to you, bringing his hand back to the same spot to brush his finger against your pouty lip. “Can I?” He questions his gaze on your lips. You nod, standing on your tiptoes, gripping his neck, and bringing his lips to yours. You could taste remnants of cigarette smoke and the icy tang of Nicorette mint gum.

The kiss quickly became full of fervent urgency. Sloppy lips sucking your own, hands aimlessly gripping any piece of flesh it could, and teeth frantically clashing with your own.

“You do this with all your clientele?” you tease as Simon grips the bottom of your shirt and quickly pulls it off your head.

“Nah,” he coolly says, hands palming your breasts over your bra. “Just the ones I jerk off to.” You gasp at not only his hands on such a sensitive part of you but also his confession.

“You jerk off to me?” you tentatively ask, bringing your hands to grip the hem of his shirt, slipping it off his head. His lips instantly connect with your neck.

“What about it?” he murmurs against your skin, dragging his tongue from the side of your neck to your lips.

“I just…I finger myself thinking about you,” you admit in between his feverish kisses, which are apparently taking away your sense of shame. He pulls back only a little.

“You’re tellin’ me…” he reaches down to bring your hand up, grazing your fingers with his own. “You plunge these in your pussy, thinkin’ about me?” he stares at your fingers, unable to comprehend what he’s hearing. He darts his eyes to yours. “I get you off?”

“Of course you do,” you attest, dragging your hand so it rests on his cock that is tucked away in his greased stained jeans. He groans at your touch.

“Now let me see what I’ve been imagining.”

He wastes no time stripping you bare, throwing your bra and panties off to the side, before he unlatches his belt, roughly yanking his jeans and boxers down just below his thighs.

He grips the back of your thighs before hauling you over to a wood table that currently holds some pens and a toolbox. His lips connect with your collarbone, then to the fat of your breast, as you lazily stroke his cock.

“Little smaller than I imagined,” you cheekily say before Simon lightly nips at your nipple with his teeth, making you moan. He laughs against your skin, sending vibrations throughout your entire body.

“And yet it still makes you fuckin’ wet,” he cockily says as his hand slips to graze your glistening cunt. You don’t even talk; you have no breath left to speak. So, you let out a pathetic noise instead—somewhere between a moan and whine.

“Let me play with ya for a minute,” he murmurs into your ribs, pointer finger brushing against your labia. You squirm at his touch.

“Simon. I just…I need you in me,” you beg, pulling him by the hair so his ear is by your mouth, rocking your hips against his finger in you.

“I’m gonna come as soon as I’m in you, Sweetheart,” he says honestly, pointer plunging into your cunt, gently touching your clit.

“I don’t care…just…just,” you rasp, unable to speak with his hand plunging into you.

“Fine, fine,” he says. He gives his cock a tug before he pokes your entrance with the head, gripping your hips before he pushes inside you a little. He grits his teeth at the sensation, and you whine at the slight pain.

“Open up for me. Come on,” he hisses, throwing his head back as he sinks deeper into you. “There she goes,” he praises, gripping one of your legs and positioning it so it lies straight up against his body. You both groan at the deeper contact.

“Shit,” you curse as Simon starts up a good pace. His cock managed to graze you in all of the right spots—reaching places you didn’t even know was possible.

You knew you both wouldn’t last long at this pace—you’re honestly not so sure he would have lasted at any pace. He was painfully hard when you hadn’t even whipped your tits out.

Though you thought the jokes were on him, as soon as he brought his thumb to stimulate your clit, you were skewing curses, tightening around his cock.

“Fuck. That’s it…that’s—” he panted out as he felt you clamp around him, hearing you yell, ‘Coming,” before he followed with his orgasm.

Once both of your orgasms have subsided, he helps you off the table to grab your clothing. You gently tug on your lip before you speak.

“Also…about the payment?” You shyly question as he pulls his jeans up.

“Consider it handled,” he says with a smirk as he zips up his jeans.

a/n: bye once again i abused the italicized button

reblogs & comments are encouraged!

[pynkfairyheart]

Pairings: connie x black reader

Warnings: smut 18+ Connie's a lil toxic, mentions of a gun, pretty angsty

pt.2 to birthday girl but can be read as a standalone

Miss you

Constance Springer. The man who was once the source of your happiness though recently the source of your frustration and headaches.

“I just don't get it, Con. You take me on these amazing dates, buy me anything that catches my attention, and say you wanna spend the rest of your life with me, yet when I ask to publicly announce we’re together, which I shouldn't have to, you always brush it aside.” You spoke as calmly as possible. Though considering this was the 4th time this week you were having this conversation your calm tone resembled shouting.

It had been five months since your birthday. Five months since Connie gave you the best gift you could ever think of. Himself.

The first four months felt as if you were on cloud nine. The entire duration it was as if you were conjoined at the hip. Connie had to make a couple of drops? There you were in his passenger seat watching a movie or using his card to pay for the large quantity of your cart.

You needed to go make up a missed exam? Connie was waiting in his car with a bouquet of your favorite flowers. The only time you weren't seen together was if he was doing something he didn't want you involved in or if he was out buying you secret lavish gifts such as the car he got you a week after your birthday. Life was great.

It wasn't til you were at your nail appointment with Mika where she nearly cut you with her clippers from shock the moment you brought up your relationship with Connie, that you realized no one knew about it.

At first, you were confused. How could no one know? You were always together but the more you thought about it you started to understand. Whenever you were out he wasn't as affectionate as when it was just the two of you, just a few touches that could easily be considered friendly, but you just brushed it off as him not being comfortable with PDA.

Even when you went on dates he'd buy the entire venue or restaurant out so it'd be just you two or would plan the nicest dates at the house, either way, no one saw you on dates as a couple.

You thought about it for a while before it finally ate you up and you just had to ask. His response was the reason shit went left.

“Whatchu mean let people know we’re together? Ion want people in our business. I'm yours and you're mine, that's all that matters” He brushed it off with a kiss on your forehead before running to go get some eggs around the corner. He was only gone for ten minutes yet in that time frame you went through hundreds of different reasons as to why he responded that way.

At first, you were confused. Then, you were trying to reassure yourself he's right as long as we know then we straight. But immediately after that thought came anger why the fuck doesn't he want people to know? Am I the fuckin side chick?

By the time Connie came back you were fuming. You trusted Connie, the night he asked you to be his he promised you he'd never do anything to hurt you yet you couldn't deny how suspicious this was. He barely had time to lock the door behind him before you started with your questions.

“You cheating on me Constance?”

“What?” He almost gave himself whiplash with how fast he turned, looking at you as if you had said the stupidest shit ever which in his mind you did.

“You heard me. Are you cheating?” You followed him into the kitchen of his apartment.

“No [☆] I'm not cheating. I needa take you to the ER? Cause it sounds like you hit your head while I was gone”

“Then why don't you wanna tell anyone?”

“About us?”

“Duh”

“I already told you, mami, I don't want people all up in our business”

That was two weeks ago and you guys were nowhere near in a better place. By no means were you insecure. You knew Connie loved you and only you but you wanted others to know as well. It's not like you wanted to leak one of your many sex tapes on IG. You just wanted at least your friend group to know you were together. Connie wasn't having it though.

“Mama lower your tone” He groaned. Inked hands rubbing his face from frustration.

“Just tell me, Con. Why don't you want anyone to know?”

“Is it wrong to wanna keep our relationship private? I love you princess but you buggin’ for real. Drop it”

“You know what. Fuck this, nd fuck you too. There's a big fucking difference between private and secret.” You slammed his bedroom door. This was too much. You couldn't take it anymore; it was as if he was ashamed of you. You loved Connie, you really, really loved him but this hurt, the constant drop of your heart whenever he let go of your hand the moment you stepped out of his apartment complex or whenever a girl flirted with him in front of the group but there was nothing you could do. You were done. No amount of love could make you settle for anything less than you knew you deserved.

Despite your teary eyes you managed to pull yourself together. Grabbing your bag, you packed as much as possible before finally exiting the room.

Connie was in the middle of rolling a blunt when he saw you walk out, he would have been convinced that his heart was lying on the couch when he stood up if it wasn't for the loud thumping in his ears.

“Where are you going?” He stood in your way

“Connie please move” You sniffled

“No, not until you tell me where you're going. Please [☆] lo siento, mami, por favor, no te vayas please don't go” His voice cracked as reality hit him. Dropping to his knees, his hands gripped the soft flesh of your hips.

“I promise to be better, I promise. I will call everyone on my phone and tell them about us right now, please don't go” At this point, you had to look away. His tear-stricken face and Spanish almost had you fold.

“We'll work this out ma, estaré mejor, lo prometo I'll be better, I promise”

“No, we can't Connie. Not right now” And with that, you left.

A month had passed so far. It was rough in the beginning. He blew your phone up 24/7 to the point where you had to block him. You couldn't eat, and whenever you did have the energy to stay awake you did nothing but scroll on your phone, your thumb always finding the photo album where you stored all pictures of Connie.

Sasha and Mikasa finally had enough, while Mika was the only one you told Sasha had a pretty good idea after she went to visit Connie only to find him in the same state as you, maybe even worse. Deciding you needed to leave the walls of your apartment and have fun, they finally convinced you to go out. Taking a couple of pregame shots while shaking ass in the mirror, your outfit leaving nothing to the imagination as you finally felt ready to face reality.

By the time you had arrived at the party, the drinks started to kick in and you grabbed the first sexy guy you saw and dragged him to the dance floor.

Unknown to you Connie was also at the party, standing in the corner as he made a few deals. He looked tired, and he was. The moment the door closed behind you he broke down. Ignoring all of the calls and texts he got from clients as he sat there. He was angry. Angry at you for leaving him but mostly angry at himself for fucking up.

When Connie finally caught sight of you it was as if someone had finally flipped the switch on throughout his body. His heart sped up, his posture straightened and his dick twitched at the sight of your body in the dress.

His dick wasn't the only thing twitching. When it finally registered to Connie that you were letting some random guy touch you as you whined on him, his eye twitched and his hand immediately went to his gun.

He was furious. With zero fucks he approached you, the barrel of his gun pressed against the guy who you were currently throwing it back on.

When you no longer felt the swaying of the man behind you, you turned to be met with the fear-frozen stranger and Connie whispering something in his ear. You didn't have time to ask what was going on before the guy scurried off and Connie roughly grabbed your arm, dragging you out of the house party.

Despite the fact you were no longer together and he had no right to drag you away, you stayed quiet. Connie rarely got angry but when he did you knew it was best to just stay quiet.

“Get in the fucking car [☆]” He threw open the door. You were convinced the thong you had on was completely drenched after those six words. His voice was low and threatening and you almost felt disgusting from how turned on you were. Almost. With one look into his rage-filled eyes, you got in the car, the door slamming behind you when he was sure you were safely in.

He quickly got in, tire tracks marking the ground as he sped off. It was silent for a minute before you decided to speak, once his grip on the steering wheel loosened and the color returned to his knuckles.

“Connie?” You faced him, eyes burning into the side of his head as he kept his dark stare on the road.

“Connie, come on. You can't just kidnap me and then not speak. Pull over and talk to me now” You huffed.

With a roll of his eyes, he pulled into a deserted parking lot.

“Hello? Either you get to talking or I'm getting out nd calling an Uber”

“No the fuck you're not” He groaned loudly, eyes meeting yours.

“Then talk” You borderline yelled

If Connie's hair was long enough to grip he'd have a couple bald spots from how frustrated he was. He gave you both time to cool down before he spoke.

“Look I'm sorry for dragging you away, and for threatening your lil boyfriend-”

“He's not my boyfriend”

“He's not?”

“No. Continue your apology” You rolled your eyes.

Your response had a smirk forming on his face. He missed you so much, even your attitude.

“I missed you ma. I'm sorry for dragging you away. I'm also sorry for how things ended.” He grabbed your hand.

“I now understand your feelings and your concerns and I'm sorry I ever made you feel like I was ashamed of you or if there was another woman. You're the love of my life ma, this past month has been pure hell. I need you baby. Please take me back.” His hands were shaking as they held yours securely. It was rare to see Connie cry, and the sight of his tear-streaked face made your heart ache. He really did love you.

Swallowing the lump in your throat you asked the one question that started it all.

“Be real Con. Why didn't you want anyone to know?”

With a sigh, he rubbed his facial hair.

“I was afraid you'd realize you could do better”

“What? What made you think that Con?”

“I sell drugs for a living, mami, I'm involved with a shit ton of dangerous people. I was afraid when others found out they'd start telling you things about me and you'd realize you can do so much better”

“Oh, Connie” You could no longer resist the need to be close to him. Maneuvering yourself so you sat in his lap you cupped his face as your eyes searched his.

“Papa there is no one better. I love you so much, Connie. There is nothing anyone could ever say to make me want or love you less because I know you. I know how much you care and love those around you. There is no one better, Connie.”

For some time, the two of you were wrapped in each other's arms as you faced your emotions.

When you both were calm, you finally dared to look into his eyes. The energy shift resembling the one from your birthday.

“Con” You slowly inched your face closer to his

“I'm sorry for all the hurt I put us through mami” His hand wrapped around your neck

“Déjame compensarte let me make it up to you” He closed the space between you.

It felt like the first breath taken after being underwater for a long time. You felt alive, felt loved. The once slow kiss grew into something more passionate. Both of you needy, as you fiend for dominance in the heated exchange.

Ultimately you lost the battle when his hands gripped your hips tightly as if to assure himself you weren't leaving again. It wasn't soon after that you found yourself in the back of his car with your legs resting on his shoulder as he drilled into you.

He littered kisses on your ankle as his grip on your hips tightened. His thick cock stretching you out had your eyes rolling back and moans of ecstasy coming out of your agape mouth.

“Yeah? You doing so good fa me ma. You miss this? Miss how good I fuck you?” His thumb found its way to your clit.

“Fuck, Connie” You whined. Attempting to push his hand away from the sensitive bud.

“Answer me princesa or ima stop” He warned

“Yes, Connie- mhmph I miss it so bad papi oh my god” Your velvety walls squeezed him tight.

"Fuuuck. Don't ever leave me again, you hear me? I can't take it, baby, I love you too much. T-try that shit again nd Imma make you watch while I put a bullet in between his eyes. Understand?” His pace increased.

God that shouldn't have turned you on as much as it did. You were convinced you could have come on the spot, the added pressure on your carotids when you didn't answer immediately wasn't any help.

“Y-yes Con, I promise it won't happen again” You managed to say in between the moans and whimpers that you no longer had the energy to contain.

“Keep squeezing me, mami. I'm so fuckin close” He groaned, hand no longer on your neck as it rested against the steamy windows to stable himself.

The atmosphere of the car was pure filth. Your moans bounced off the windows, the sloshing sound of your wet pussy and slapping skin that created the creamy ring around the base of cock topping it all off.

His thrusts were slowly getting sloppy, you were just squeezing him so tight.

“C-Con” You managed to gasp out, the marks he littered on your neck to suppress his whimpers, having the coil in your belly tighten.

“I know mama, let go fa me” He groaned.

That instant you came, eyes rolling to the back of your head for a quick second as your cream and small spurts of squirt leaked from your pussy.

“Shit mama” He panted, dick twitching as he painted your walls with his cum.

Connie being the lover boy he was despite repeatedly denying it whispered apologies, and sweet promises into your ear as you came down from your high.

“I'm sorry mami, I promise to be better” He kissed you softly as if you were in a fairytale before whispering in your ear.

“But don't think just cus we're good now, that I'm not gon tear that ass up when we get home for giving that loser a taste of what's mine.”

I dont know how i feel about this one buuutttt all thanks to @masterofthepp for giving me this idea. Hopefully it meets your standards babes. As always any feedback is welcome. mwah

[woso-dreamzzz]

Kidnapped III

Fridolina Rolfö x Baby!Reader

Summary: Your first steps

Your first steps come like most of your firsts do.

In Frido's home in Barcelona.

She'd (yet again) managed to convince your parents that it was okay to leave you in her care while they went out exploring the city for a spot to have dinner during date night.

"Alright, you," Frido says in mock seriousness, standing you up against her sofa," Let's get you walking."

You've been crawling for a little while now - also something that first happened at your big sister's house - but you've also been learning how to pull yourself up.

"Just a few little steps," Frido continues as she backs away to the wall opposite you," Come on, älskling. Come on."

You look at her blankly for a moment, stable with your hands on the soft fabric of the sofa.

Frido wiggles her outstretched fingers at you. "Come on, älskling. Just a little? I'm not very far."

"Bah!" You babble, a little finger pointed her way before you amuse yourself with picking at the threads of the blanket thrown haphazardly on the sofa.

Frido rolls her eyes. "Yes, yes, bah! But don't you want to walk to me? Look! I've got Teddy!"

She wiggles your Teddy rattle at you and you perk up at the sound of the noise.

"That's it! Come to Teddy!"

You reach out for him though, still rooted to the spot and Frido sighs.

"How did you get your Cub to walk?" She asks five minutes later, grossly impatient enough to call Mapi for advice.

"Er...She just kind of did it? She was chasing Bagheera."

"Well that's unhelpful!"

"Maybe get her a cat?"

"I don't have time to get her to bond with a cat enough for her to chase it."

"Maybe," Frido hears Ingrid yell from wherever she is in her and Mapi's apartment," If you stopped picking her up all the time she'd actually start walking! You spoil her!"

"It's not spoiling if it makes her happy!"

Frido ends the call, looking over at where you've somehow pulled yourself up onto the sofa and is now fiddling with the remote.

"You can't walk but you know how to climb?" Frido bemoans," This is so unfair."

She flops onto the seat next to you, pulling you into her lap. "You're going to walk before you go home," She says," You're not leaving otherwise."

You giggle, kicking your feet happily as Frido gently tickles the sole of your socked feet.

"And once you've started walking, we can work on those football skills."

You grunt a little bit, batting Frido's hands away when you spot your Teddy rattle on the floor.

She lowers you to the ground when you keep pushing her.

"Yeah, yeah," She laughs," Teddy's more important. I get it. Go and army crawl over there to him."

You grunt at Frido again and, like you're just trying to spite her, you put one foot in front of the other and kind of wobbly shuffle over to Teddy, shaking him so he rattles about.

"Te-Te!" You giggle excitedly, shaking him a bit more aggressively and looking at Frido as if you're presenting him to her.

"That's right. That's Teddy!" Frido laughs," And you're walking! Look at you!"

By the time your parents return home, Frido's got a little goal set up in the hall and you sitting in front of a ball.

"No, älskling!" She groans, lifting you up onto your feet again," You kick it. Remember?

You screech at her, sitting back down again and grabbing the ball with your hands.

"No," Frido says," With your feet. Like I do."

"Frido, what are you doing?" Your Papa asks, brow raised as you start gnawing on the little ball.

"She started walking!" Frido replies quickly," I reckon we can train her up now, maybe get her in a few five-a-sides and-"

"I don't think they do five-a-sides for babies."

"Later then," She says dismissively," I'll get her on the pitch at some point. Once she, you know, learns to kick and not-"

You toddle on very shaky legs to the little goal Frido set up and throw your ball into it.

Mama picks you up, throwing you up and down happily. "Goal!" She cheers," I think we've got a little handball star in the making!"

"No," Frido insists," She'll play football. Won't you, älskling? Another football player in the family?"

"Bah!" You grunt, wild little limbs hitting Frido straight in the nose as she recoils.

"I think y/n's made her choice," Papa laughs, clapping Frido on the back.

"No!" Frido says with a laugh," I refuse to accept it! That girl will be out on a football pitch before you know it!"

In the end, all of your handball medals hang up next to Frido's football ones in your parent's house.