#I forgot about these little book recs I do at the end of the month so I'll be posting the ones for april may and june on a roll | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bitchlessdino · 2 years ago

Note

MY BELOVED!! happy 3k you beautiful human!! ilysm <3333333

now, who would i be if i didn’t request multiple members and made it v biased? 😃 so i would like to request a woozi x seokmin x dino x reader fic in which they are all friends and maybe one or two of them live with mc and stumble across their dream-diary (woops) and see explicit dreams about them that they now want to make reality 🤭 make it as dirty and with as much degrading as you like giggles. i am normal!! i swear. LOVE U

Pairing: woozi x seokmin x dino x afab!reader

Genre: smut

Word count: 1.6k

tags: heavy degradation, mentions of unprotected sex and creampies, choking, oral (rec.), hair pulling, foreplay heavy

author note: ILY MITCHIEEEE and thank you <3333. a little taste of what we're getting into this staycation. I'm also trying to get back into the format of writing less is more so I sincerely do hope whose reading enjoys. and remember asks are open!

Tag: @shiningstar-byulxx @misssugarlips @tommolex @hoeforhao @honglynights @homerunhansol @dkakapizzaboy @junhui-recs @svtup @buffhoshi @meowmeowminnie @caratochan @lovebot4han @6969lilithcat @wonuhour @camisun93 @tommolex @emmmui @toruro

You’re a vivid dreamer. Your dreams are so vivid you wake up the next day recalling them as if they were actual events in your life. They can get so overwhelming, mornings are defiled with built-up sweat and other bodily fluids that soaks through your sheets. Unfortunately, many of these dreams just happened to be some of the “not safe for work” variety, getting you into the habit of leaving a towel under you before ending your day.

To make matters worse, you would replay these images in your brain until exhaustion–not without some restraint–making you feel guilty for the familiar faces that involuntarily got involved. Eventually, you realize you had to deal with these dreams one way or another.

Over the past few months of these types of dreams, you’ve kept a dream journal. It detailed some of the most intimate and out-of-pocket occurrences within your subconscious and for a while, it has helped take control of the situation. The wet dreams never stopped, but there is a bit of that reassurance that you’re able to process these images in a healthy manner. But none of these notes were ever meant to get out. Not a single one.

“I’m home with dinner! If I hear you’ve already eaten without me, Seokmin, I’m fighting you. You know I don’t like eating alone–what are the three of you doing?”

You watch your roommate and neighbors next door, Jihoon and Chan, scramble to hide whatever they had earlier within the depths of the couch cushions. You narrow your eyes at their suspiciously guilty faces before setting the pizza box on the kitchen counter and cautiously approaching them.

“Are you hiding something from me?”

None of them look like they would talk, probably in fear of your wrath, that was until one understood better than the others that there was no point in hiding the imminent truth. “I told them it was invasive!”

“Lee Jung Chan, you snitch!”

You glare at Jihoon for the animosity in his outburst towards Chan and in turn, it made the man go shrink in shame. “We didn’t know what it was at first,” he admits in a timid voice, “Seokmin thought it was a diary of you shit-talking us.”

“Way to throw me under the bus, bro!”

Now your eyes are shooting through your roommate, the one with access to your room at all times to borrow something with only the condition of him giving you a heads up. It just had to be the one day he decided to not ask that you forgot to properly store the journal away when you were leaving the apartment in a hurry for work.

He shrinks just the same as Jihoon before pulling the bounded book out, open to a page dated a humiliating night: the first night you dreamt of Seokmin fucking over the fire escape. You rip the book from his hands, fuming both in anger and mortification and clutches it to your chest. You are prepared to be mad, prepared to scream at them, foam at the mouth, but nothing would come out.

Instead, you feel like curling up in a ball and hiding away from the world, only ever leaving your room to eat or use the restroom. You don’t know what to do. You just feel naked.

All three men can tell underneath your silent frustration is shame, and they could feel more at fault. Seokmin is first to approach you, which makes you quickly retreat a step seeing how closer he got, but soon enough calm down by the caress of his hand over your hair, hearing him quietly apologizing again.

What none of them didn’t expect was for you to apologize, standing still in abhor of yourself for having such thoughts and even having all three make an appearance more than occasion. You admit your actions make you sick to your stomach. That you know in no way any of that can become a reality for you, that these dreams were simply disgusting, and you loathe yourself for having them.

They all grow silent, the air charged with the harshness of your words. It shocks them, rolling over to a state of bemusement and utter astonishment at how little you thought of yourself.

Seokmin peers closer at you, fingers threading over your hair. His gaze may be soft but pierces through you like sun rays on dry concrete. “Do you really think that?”

You can’t help but confirm, ready to defend yourself once more until Seokmin's hands are on your hips and his forehead kisses yours. There is a look in his eyes you can’t explain and you can’t help but feel weak at the knees, almost buckling from their sheer tension. His name comes out so softly from his lips, Seokmin can’t help but smile.

“I don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation…you have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“E-excuse me?” You attempt back up from the bank but are pulled by the waist, meeting his hips incredulously.

“I said, you don’t have a damn clue what you’re talking about.”

You’re able to pry yourself from him only to be met with the bodies of the other men you only realize now cornered you, becoming a makeshift pair of walls behind you. They share the same gaze Seokmin, all exhibiting this subtle darkness that turns your stomach inside out. It steals your breath. It speeds up your heart rate. A wave of vulnerability overtakes you and you are now surrounded by men who all knew already have a physical effect on you.

“How can we make that clear for you,” Jihoon speaks up, gliding a hand over your shoulder.

“Maybe the way to do it is to make those dreams a reality,” Chan joins, lips dangerously close to your neck.

You aren’t sure how things escalated the way they did. All you know is that split second you were entangled in a situation beyond the comprehension of involuntary self-manufactured imagery. Jihoon has you by the throat, platting with your breath take in as he kisses your lips feverishly. Chan kneads the fullness of your breasts, biting in your neck with conviction and desire while the sweat of his toned chest rubs against your naked backside. And finally, Seokmin has taken your legs between his face, nose pressing against your clit harsher the deeper he delves inside you with his tongue, understanding what your downfall tastes like.

Your mouth is stretched open in gasps, whines, and whimpers, and Jihoon manages to swallow every one. You inhale the stench of pure animal instinct and merely melt against the body behind you, not minding how his tight pinches and descriptive narration cease your lungs from expanding (as if Jihoon wasn’t already doing that enough).

“Is Seokmin eating your dirty little pussy well?” Chan’s low tenor sends shivers down your spine, making you squeeze your abdomen tight in response.

“Your journal was so interesting we couldn’t help ourselves. Sorry again. But not that sorry.”

Chan has always had a mouth on him but hearing him speak while everything was happening was pure sin. That’s what made the situation differ slightly from the dreams. The dreams were pure sex and no dialogue. You would think that made it dirtier, but it was missing what real-life Chan’s voice is currently giving: the whole picture.

“We’re only sorry a dirty little slut like you didn’t get the treatment you deserved until now.”

You can feel Jihoon’s smile against your lips as you let out a loud moan, causing him to dig his fingers a little harder against your neck, cutting harsher into your breathing. Chan chuckles, lips now trailing over your shoulders. “You like that, don’t you? Being called a little slut?”

You nod frantically, his pinches only getting tighter until his palms are whipped across your flesh. “You like that too, slut? I bet you’d like anything we do to you. Are we making you feel as good as you dreamt?”

Jihoon finally pulls away from you to let you answer, forcing you to face the younger man and squeeze the response out of you. “Well? You’re not gonna keep him waiting, are you, whore?”

His hand releases your neck and relaxes against it, now favoring your hair, in which he’s already wrapped around his knuckles.

“N-no, sir.”

“Then tell Chan what he wants to hear.”

You swallow your nerves down, turning into a puddle under the dark watchful of the eyes of the man in question and utter a soft “yes” and crumble in front of them to see and hear. Ripples of arousal go through you, clenching around Seokmin’s tongue when he finds your sweet spot. You clutch your chest as if a line of pearls are dangling off your collarbone, releasing your ivory nectar lining his mouth and taste buds. He moans into your heat, caressing your thighs. “Our needy mess tastes so good…”

You look back at him longingly, tempted by the glossy sheen of his lips, and Seokmin is quick to realize it. He connects your lips, pulling you from Chan to fall on top of him instead. “Such a fucking mess,” he mumbles, “need you cumming all over my cock…”

Chan’s hand slips through your hair as Jihoon’s nails grated over your ass’s flesh, you clench around nothing when they join you. Although they’d made cum once today, you severely doubt that it’d be the last. “I’m sure they’d love to be filled up with all our cocks. Isn’t that right?” Chan questions.

When you let out another weak “yes,” they join your weak display of need, pressing against parts of your body that only ache to be filled, ache to be ruined, ache to be stretched and pulled until your body is fatigued beyond comprehension.

“I hope you can handle it,” Jihoon comments in feigned concern, “handle us reusing you and take turns fucking our cum back into you, that is.”

Part of my 3K Follower StayCation!!!

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wangxianficrecs · 4 years ago

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Follower Recs

Stories I haven’t read yet, but clearly need to put on my ever-expanding List.

~*~

Welcome back queen [Thank you, it’s so lovely to be back!] if ur still doing follower recs I gotta recommend I would wait for a thousand years by bleuett it’s soooooooo good

[This one was actually recced to me by two different people, the other of whom said, “ Maybe I'm crying a little so I feel like a should recommend ‘I would wait for a thousand years’ by bleuett on ao3.”]... it’s def. on my List!

I would wait for a thousand years

by bleuett (T, 10k, wangxian)

Summary: During the worst of winter, a traveler comes to stay at Lan Wangji's inn. He wears a red ribbon in his hair.

“Do you see the rabbit?” Wei Ying asks and points at the moon. “That’s the moon rabbit, he helps make Chang’e more immortality elixir. He keeps Chang’e company.”

“I do not wish the rabbit for company,” Lan Wangji says tightly. “You are the one I want by my side.”

“And I’m here, Lan Zhan. If you go to the moon, I’ll follow you, I’ll always be here now.”

~*~

I just read a great fic by aisthuu "every love story is a ghost story", didn't see it in your recs so wanted to recommend it! LWJ is a guqin composer and teacher, buys a cheap guqin off eBay which ends up being attached to WWX's spirit from canon era. It's bittersweet, LWJ deals with Lan's homophobia (implicit in a Lan way) and his feelings towards the ghost. This is author's only ao3 fic and honestly I don't remember how I stumbled upon it, but I'm happy I did and hope you will enjoy it too! [I’ve recently read this one, and loved it!]

every love story is a ghost story

by aisthuu (M, 59k, wangxian, my bookmark)

Summary: The man is in Lan Zhan’s bed. Did they—he begins to wonder, eyes trailing to where the man’s body lies under the blanket. Had Lan Zhan—?

Then the sleep-fog clears and Lan Zhan realizes that the young man isn’t quite opaque around the edges.

“You’re a spirit.”

The spirit narrows its eyes. “I’m so much more than that.”

(Lan Zhan buys a guqin off eBay for a suspiciously low price, only to find that it’s haunted. And now there’s a ghost in his bed.)

~*~

Ok so I absolutely have to rec "see you yesterday" by glyphic. It's a wip, but it's currently at 101k so there's a whole lot there, and it's terrible and wonderful and beautiful all at once. The way the backstory of canon events is adapted to the modern-with-cultivation setting is brilliant, and then there's the amnesia, and then there's the time loop. This fic lives permanently rent-free in my brain.

see you yesterday

by glyphic (M, 101k, wangxian, WIP)

Summary:

Wei Ying 21:09 hey lan zhan what’s the weirdest way youve died

Lan Zhan 21:11 Falling encyclopedias.

Wei Ying 21:12 omg no way that’s so rude turning books against you???

Lan Zhan 21:13 A betrayal I will never forget.

On Halloween night, an exiled demonic cultivator and a Lan disciple get stuck in a time-loop, find each other, and try to figure it all out.

~*~

If you are looking for recs for yourself I absolutely love (the complete!) story Just as the Snow Melts by draechali on AO3. It's a canon divergence where everyone lives, even WWX! ~ @airmidcelt

Just as the Snow Melts

by draechaeli (T, 67k, wangxian)

Summary: Like a snowy mountain top in spring the residents of the Burial Mounds trickled down the mountain and joined the flow of society.

“I went to the Burial Mounds,” Lan WangJi said.

“Ah, yeah… I’m sorry Lan Zhan,” replied Wei WuXian, “I hadn’t thought anyone would come to visit. I am still not sure how it happened; I brought A-Yuan to Yiling to play by the river and then ended up somehow teaching a bunch of children swimming and writing along with him.”

~*~

Hello! It's come to my attention that you have not as yet read Grandmaster of Meme-onic Cultivation! Please do! It's the only thing that gave me joy during 2020 😆 like proper belly laughs and disney villain style cackling. It is a wip, and it is long but so so worth it!! The author has reworked the entire canon through these message crystals and still conveys complex characters despite the tricky format. It's just so good!! Highly highly recommend it! ❤ ~ @theladypeartree [Oh! I’ve been subscribed to this one, and know that @swaglexander-the-great is a reliable provider of Hilarity, so I’m excited for it to be finished!]

Grandmaster of Meme-onic Cultivation

by Hades_the_Blingking (T, 49k, wangxian, WIP)

Summary: The Untamed universe is exactly the same, except everybody has magical crystals that have a suspiciously familiar messaging system. The story is pretty much the same as the show, except everyone lives!! (so minor changes).

or in which Wei WuXian tries his darndest to date Lan Zhan, Jiang Cheng possibly has a aneurysm, Jin ZiXuan is still the most awkward human alive, and Xue Yang makes me write some VERY cursed things. Written in chatfic format! :3

~*~

Chomrafy on AO3 deserves love and encouragement; she’s written a body of compact, poetic, and eloquent shortfics each of which can stand alone, but that comprise an intricately cross-referential and mostly internally-consistent universe. They’re grouped as chapters in works according to theme; for example, “in cupped hands” focuses upon Jin Ling and his second-generation baggage; “Departure in Autumn” portrays the last years of WWX’s first life. Follow the tag “Chomrafy’s MDZS shortfics.” [I don’t see this tag?]

in cupped hands

by chomrafy (G, 2k, wangxian)

Summary: Of secrets, of futures, of love. A Jin Ling-centric collection of 200-word fics.

Ch.1: Jin Ling repays a debt (JL, JC, & WWX). Ch.2: Jin Ling and a ghost in the mirror. (JL & JYL) Ch.3: A matter of friends (JL & the other kids) Ch.4: In this house we don't keep dogs (JC & WWX) Ch.5: In the end, he remains silent (JL & uncles) Ch.6: A first night hunt, of sorts (JL & the other kids) Ch.7: Jin Ling, forgiving, forgetting (JL & LXC & JGY) Ch.8: Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling argue (JL, JC, & WWX) Ch.9: Jin Ling and his father (JL & JC) Ch.10: Jin Ling speaks up (JL, JC, & WWX) Ch.11: Jin Ling and a piece of home (JL, JC, & WWX)

Departure in Autumn

by chomrafy (not rated, 6k)

Summary: Four perspectives. A steady march to the end.

Ch.1: Because if anything happens to them, Wen Qing would never be able to heal with these hands again. Ch.2: As long as this is still home, Jiang Yanli will wait as long as she needs to. Ch.3: Five times Jiang Cheng reaches for Wei Wuxian, one time he turns away. Ch.4: Whether the road is broad or narrow, bright or dark, they would have to keep walking. Wei Wuxian digs Wen Qing's grave.

~*~

Hello, hope all is going well. I don't have an ask, by I do have a recommendation. I read this fic a while ago and found it again. I just wanted to recommend this for everyone. Let me know what you think please. Thank you. [Oh! This one’s in my To Read list, but I’d forgotten about it. Mmmm, fox!wwx and dragon!lwj.]

Ten miles of Lotus Flowers

by Yukirin_Snow

M, 274k, wangxian

Summary: He was a mischievous fox spirit, wreaking havoc where he went, about to depart on a journey that would span centuries.

He was a heavenly prince, a proud dragon destined to ascend the throne to become emperor.

Neither expected their paths to collide over the span of three lives.

~*~

I forgot if it was your blog 😥 that recommended “Bestseller” (when Wei Wuxian writes the Xianxia cut-sleeve equivalent of Fifty Shades of Grey, based entirely on his experiences with Lan Wangji, he doesn’t expect it to become the next big hit) (https://archiveofourown.org/works/21528316/chapters/51318766)

But OMG IT WAS HILARIOUS!!! I LOVED IT!! And if it wasn’t your blog, I’m so sorry for how weird this sounds 😭😭😭😭 I just loved this fic so much that I have to tell it to someone 😢 [It’s on my List, but I haven’t read it yet!]

Bestseller

by pupeez4eva

M, 8k, wangxian

Summary: He had written the book to prove a point. It was never supposed to be a big thing, and he certainly never intended for everyone — Jiang Cheng, Zewu-Jun, the Juniors, literally everyone— to be reading about his sex life.

Oh God, he definitely needed to make sure Lan Zhan didn’t find out about this.

(Or, when Wei Wuxian writes the Xianxia cut-sleeve equivalent of Fifty Shades of Grey, based entirely on his experiences with Lan Wangji, he doesn’t expect it to become the next big hit).

~*~

I’d like to rec On Your Marks, Get Set, Bake! by @blackwiresgrowonherhead

It’s one of my absolute favorites and I laughed out loud so many times when reading it

on your marks, get set, bake!

by BlackWiresOnHerHead

G, 41k, wei wuxian & juniors

Summary: Jin Ling resumes thumping on the door to room 721, and the small collection of freshmen starts chanting “Senior Wei! Senior Wei! Senior Wei!” with increasing volume until finally Wei Wuxian opens the door.

“Yes?” he says with his widest, most innocent eyes.

“Senior Wei!” demands Lan Jingyi, shoving himself to the front of the group. “Why didn’t you tell us you’re a contestant on this year’s season of The Great Gusu Bake Off?!?”

Several months ago, college student Wei Wuxian secretly competed in the most popular reality show in the country. The show starts airing in the fall. The freshmen in his dorm collectively lose their minds.

~*~

If you're in the mood for v. short ridiculous fun fic, may I suggest My chain hits my chest/When I'm bangin' on the radio by x_los It's 2k modern cultivators AU, featuring WWX calling LWJ's sword Bitchin' [omg I’m laughing so hard] and I think it's more fun going in blind?

My chain hits my chest/When I'm bangin' on the radio

by x_los

T, 2k, wangxian

Summary: Lan Wangji finds he doesn't even need to call for help for Wei Wuxian to come running.

#follower rec #wangxian fic rec #I HAVEN'T READ THESE YET #wangxian #mdzs

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leafsgarbage · 4 years ago

Text

when we were young| k.s.

Synopsis: You and Kita fell for each other fast, but maybe forever wasn’t for you

Warnings: N/A

Genre: Angst, fluff, post!breakup,

Pairing: student!Kita x f!reader, ex!Kita x ex!reader, timeskip!Kita x timeskip!reader

Song Rec: If the World was Ending - JP Saxe

Word Count: 8.6k

Main Masterlist

A/N: I got this idea from a haikyu quiz to figure out who your ex was and why you broke up. If you guys want me to write on yours, click the link at the bottom and send me a request with your results!

When you were in your first-year of school at Inarizaki, you met him. He was a year above you, but he was ever the gentlemen, offering to carry all the books that you accidentally dropped due to the weight of them. You graciously accepted his offer and walked to your class. He bid you goodbye, and that was it.

The two of you didn’t talk much which is very unlike you, but you just assumed he was shy, and he was so breathtakingly handsome you forgot how to function. You continued your day as normal, but he always lingered in your mind.

It didn’t take too long for you two to cross paths again.

Your brothers joined the volleyball team and were very dedicated to the sport. Not only were they dedicated to volleyball, but they were insistent on teasing you for being the youngest twin (you were triplets but whatever). Along with being a pain in your ass, they asked you for favors, and being the best sister in the entire world, you did them (not without a price though),

The boys had forgotten their volleyball shoes in their lockers and texted you to please bring them. You wondered why they wouldn’t come get it themselves, but apparently, their captain is making them run laps around the gym barefoot.

Their lockers weren’t together, in fact, they were on practically opposite hallways. You told them it would cost them heavily for making you run around so much, they tell you the exercise would do you good. You proceeded to tell them, for that comment alone, they do your chores for a month and cook for you when asked.

You grumbled under your breath as you finally got Atsumu’s and Osamu’s shoes, making your way to the gym, cursing your stupid brothers. AS you get to the door, you slip off your shoes and bow to everyone. “Good afternoon.” The coach ushers you to come in and you look for your brothers.

The pair run to you, tears in Atsumu’s eyes. “Thank you y/n. Yer the bestest sister in the whole world!” Atsumu cries out, meanwhile Osamu just thanks you plainly and offers you the extra onigiri in his bag (you take it of course).

When you reach his bag, you see the guy who helped you out today. “Hi.” You say to him, to which he nods. Your shoulders slump, but you’re still determined to talk to him. “Thank you for helping me out earlier.”

“It was no problem.” He shrugs, continuing to clean the volleyball in his hands.

“I’m Miya Y/n.” You extend your hand for him.

He stops his movements and stares at your hand, the ball is abandoned and he clasps your hand in his two hands with a little bow in his head. “Kita Shinsuke, it is a pleasure to meet you.”

“Should I call ya Kita-san? Or Kita-Senpai?” You smile at the athlete who just grins back at you.

“No need for formalities.” He assures you.

You’re about to continue talking with him until the coach cuts you off short, calling back all the boys. “Ah, I guess I’ll see y’around then?”

“Hopefully.” Then he gets up to leave you with your onigiri.

Of course that wasn’t the last time you would see him either.

As the twins continued their volleyball, you spent more and more time with the team. You dedicated a lot of time into getting Kita comfortable with you, and he was. At least to the point where he let you call him by his first name.

“Shin!” You greeted him as you took your shoes off at the door. He waved back to you while you made your way to him. “I brought you a bento.” You hand it over to him and he bows in appreciation.

Anyone with a brain could tell you liked him and that he liked you. However, your brothers don’t have that so they hadn’t the slightest clue. In fact, they thought you were trying to earn points with their senpais. (That makes sense though because you brought special things for Kita, but you still brought things for Aran-kun, Omimi, and Akagi so they wouldn’t feel left out).

“Thank you, y/n. I appreciate it.” He smiles at you and you just stop working.

You decide that today is the day you’re going to let him know that you like him. “Shin, I-”

“Alright boys, come sit in your rows.” The coach calls out to the team. It’s the end of the year, so the boys will be given their new jerseys.

Kita looks at you apologetically. “Sorry, y/n. We can talk after, ok?” You nod and he squeezes your hand before going to sit with his teammates.

“Alright, I know you’re all excited, but please wait to be called up before grabbing your jersey.” The coach looks at his roster, meanwhile the manager brings the box with the boys’ shirts. “Number 1, Kita.”

He doesn’t miss a beat, no matter how taken aback he was. You were so happy for him, he came a long way and truly deserved the lot he was given.

When he sits back down he begins to cry, and you’re all stunned by this, because he was never one to fall apart or succumb to his emotions like others cough cough Atsumu. It made your heart swell of how unbelievably happy was. When he was happy, so were you.

Everyone else got their jerseys and went to pack up for the day. While the rest of them were in the locker room, you run up to Kita and give him a hug. “I’m so proud of you.” He smiled and just held you tight. “I wanted to tell you something.”

“Can I go first?” He pulls back to look at you and cups your face. “I like you, y/n. You make everything easy. It’s so easy to be with you to laugh with you and share the way I feel with you. If you feel the same, would you please allow me the chance to take you out, on a proper date?”

The smile that breaks on your face makes it seem as if it’ll stretch past your face. “Of course.”

That moment was pure bliss....

...Until it wasn’t.

“HUAH?” You’d recognize Atsumu’s over exaggerated gasp anywhere. You pale in his embrace, but once you come to, you try to scramble away. Kita on the other hand, is calm and collected, his face serious. “Miya y/n! What the hell are ya doin botherin’ our new captain?!”

Osamu is behind Atsumu, not as enraged, but putting two and two together. You desperately try to calm him down, but your usual baby sister charms aren’t working. “Atsumu.” Your brother immediately reels back at his captain’s voice. “Don’t you have to meet your teacher and serve detention for all of your tardies?”

He chokes back on his spit and nods his head grumbling as he walks away from the two of you. You’re relieved he got him off your back. It wasn’t that you were afraid of Atsumu, but you lived with him, he’s going to be on your ass about what’s going on with you and Shin. Osamu may be calmer, but he’ll still be a little shit about it too, just more discreet.

The boys shiver at Kita’s demeanor and turn back to minding their own business. Aran pats Kita’s shoulder before heading off with Osamu and Kita turns back to you. “Can I walk you home?”

You nod. “Please.”

Being with him was easy. The two of you never argued, if you did, it never got out of hand. He never raised his voice at you. Kita would much rather get scolded at by his coach than ever raise his voice at you. He just wasn’t the type of person to, and you don’t have it in you to do that. Both of you are very level-headed people, never get overly emotional in serious matters.

When you started your second year, and Kita his third, he walked with you to school everyday and back. With your brothers and Aran-kun as well. The boys always made sure to keep their presence known when they would groan every time Shin reached for your hand. “Gahhhh, cut it out, will ya? We’re right here!”

Without looking away from you Kita replies. “Then go away.” It was always ok because Aran would pull their attention away, and along your walk to school, Suna would show up and keep Osamu talking.

“Are you excited to be captain this year, Shin?” Your arms swung back and forth with his, still together.

“There’s a lot of work to be done, but I feel ready for it.” Even though Shin was emotional when he got his jersey, he was more than capable of being captain. He had a great control over the team, and whipping them into shape, avoiding the slack Suna would give, or the over-confidence Atsumu had. It all came natural to him.

You were in your biology class with your friend, on a break because your teacher left early, but the class is a bit stressed since exams are next week. “He seems so detached, is he like that with you?”

Immediately, you shake your head. “No, he’s not even really like that with anyone. He’s just to the point you know? He’s not very emotional like my dumb brother.” (Atsumu sneezes during his math test, the teacher scolds him and Suna stifles a laugh). “But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t understand his feelings. I think he understands them better than anyone I know.”

Alia pushes your shoulder. “Ok you gotta stop that, you look...”

“Look like what.” You ask with a shit-eating grin just like your brothers’.

She relents, but comes out with it. “Like you’re in love.”

The bell rings and you two head off to lunch together. While Alia talked about how she wondered if Suna was single, you stayed thinking about what she said earlier. You’ve been with Shin for a while now, but you never thought to put a name to your feelings. It was eye-opening to say the least.

Alia takes a seat in-between Suna and Osamu while you sit in-between Kita and Aran. “You alright?” Kita asks, already noticing the shift in your demeanor.

“Yea.” You nod to assure him, but he’s still weary.

He pushes a plate of food to you (a regular occurrence) since he knows you don’t really have time to eat after school since you have track. “If you don’t eat well you might pass out on the field. Drink lots of water too.”

You dig in to the plate, full of your favorites as per usual. Your brother (the dumber one) is currently shoving as many onigiri’s in his mouth as he can while Suna records. You swear you’re going to kill him one day. As your making your way to him he starts choking, predicted. You smack your hand on his back before he coughs up all the onigiris on the table, a lot of rice still remaining in his mouth. “Gross ‘Tsumu.” You gag.

Aran is a disappointed mom, lecturing him to quit his stupidity or die with it, Osamu is just chuckling with Suna. “Eat.” Shin calls out to you and you playfully roll your eyes before digging in.

“Thank you, I love you.” You take a bite out of your food, but just as quickly, you freeze in place, not daring to look at your boyfriend. It wasn’t said loud enough so anyone else heard, Aran was with Atsumu on the other side so it’s not like he heard.

When you take a peak, he has a blush on his face and leans down so his mouth is at your ear. The gesture makes you shiver. “I can assure you, y/n, I love you much more.”

Today was too good to be true.

Inarizaki recently suffered a defeat to Karasuno High School. Both teams packed a punch, but eventually, a winner was declared and the boys had to make their way home. You wanted to cry because that was the last time you would see all the boys play together as the third-years go to graduate. However, you didn’t want to overwhelm them with your feelings, or make them feel worse.

You waited for the team in the front waiting area when a masked figure came into your view. He was easily recognizable, Sakusa Kiyoomi, one of the top 3 high school spikers in the country. His presence was intimidating, but it was nothing you couldn’t handle.

He walked towards you, but you were unsure why until he pointed at the backpack you had on. “May I borrow your lint roller?” The end was sticking out of the bag, so you were surprised he even knew it was one. Shin had you pack it because he liked to tidy up the uniforms.

“Of course.” You hand it to him and he quickly uses it before removing the now dirty sheet and throwing it away.

He comes back, giving you the roller. “Thank you for that...”

“Y/n. Miya Y/n.” You tell him.

“Are you related to the Miya Twins?” He asks.

It’s a perfectly normal question, but it does get under your skin. “We’re actually triplets, but they like to forget I exist.” You smile.

Sakusa takes out some hand sanitizer and offers you some which you take. You don’t want to be rude to him. “I’m Sakusa Kiyoomi. It was nice to meet you, see you guys next year.” He walks off and you wave him goodbye.

Almost immediately after he goes on his way, Kita comes up behind you. You wrap your arms around him, despite how sweaty he might be. “I’m so proud of you Shin. You all did so well.” He smiles against your shoulder and kisses your cheek. When you let go you turn to your idiot brothers and punch them on their shoulders. “Why do you look so gloomy? We’re having hot pot!” Osamu’s face changes on the spot, but Atsumu is still upset. “Hey, that was an amazing game. It just goes to show you that you don’t know everything yet. There’s still a lot more to learn.” You give your brother a hug which he reciprocates. “I’m so proud of ya big brother.”

Atsumu clenches his heart and you know he’s back to his usual spirits. “Yer so wise for being so young y/n.” Aran and Kita hold you back from beating up your ever so cocky brother.

When you get back home, you ask Shin what he’s gonna do after he graduates, your head on his lap as you two sit on the couch. “Probably take a year learning agriculture at our local university. I want to do farming of sorts. Not sure what specifically though, yet.”

“Ah that’s awesome Shin! It’s also a lot like ya.” He hums as to question what you mean. “I mean farming is very meticulous work. Something yer awesome at, so I know you’ll be great at it. Yer great at anything you do.”

He leans down to place a soft kiss on your lips. “You are far too good for me.”

“Maybe a little.” You giggle. A Miya, you had to be.

When you started your third year, you and Kita were still together, he was still close to home so it felt like nothing had really changed since you hung out after school as much as you could. Sometimes he’d be busy, but you understood. He still came to all the boys’ volleyball games which always lifted their spirits knowing their ex-captain was there for them.

Osamu is usually on edge when Kita watches them play ever since he assumed the role of Captain, succeeding Kita. He hopes he thinks he’s doing a good job. Aran also joins the two of you a lot of the times to watch their matches, but he’s not as often as you two. Aran is busy being a college athlete.

You were working hard to find out what you wanted to do with your life, but you didn’t know what you were really passionate about. The very thought of what you were doing after school haunted you. However, you had to put those thoughts aside as your brothers came in slamming the door shut.

“Uhhhh, welcome home... I guess?” Atsumu storms to the kitchen yanking the fridge open and taking all of Osamu’s favorite food. “’Tsumu c’mon, don’t be ridiculous you can’t eat all that food.” You and your brothers has your fair share of arguments that usually always got heated, so you were thankful for Kita.

He was the eye of your otherwise messy storm. “Well, ‘Samu’s not gonn need ‘em! He’ll be makin’ food for sport!”

You slap your hand and your face and turn your brother. “You told him already?”

With a loaf of bread in his mouth exclaims in surprise, “YOU KNEW?” You give him a ‘duh’ look.

Osamu looks equally upset and distraught at his brother’s reaction. “It was now or when we were 40 y/n.” He makes a good point. “Volleyball isn’t a path for everyone ‘Tsumu.”

“It is for Suna! And Aran-kun!” He yells.

“Well then why didn’tcha yell at Kita-san when he didn’t pursue volleyball! Why do you only ridicule me for not taking your path!” Osamu yells back, frustrated because he feels as if ‘Tsumu doesn’t believe in his dream or ability to make that happen. That’s so much worse than him being upset.

If anyone could make it in such a competitive market such as food, it was Osamu, and if anyone could make it in a dog-eats-dog sport, it was Atsumu. You knew that better than anyone. “Yer my brother! I’m trying to look out for you and make sure you have a good life!”

Osamu grips your brother’s shirt so that their faces are close and he can yell more clearly. “You can’t tell me what is going to fulfill me in life or not, when we’re older and unable to shit by ourselves, when we’re on the verge of death, then, and only then, can you say you had a better and happier life than me.”

Atsumu bites back, just as heated. “FINE! Then I’ll tell ya I told you so!”

“Fine by me.”

“Watch yer-”

“SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP!!” Your fists are balled at your sides, face red as you stare your brothers down. They swear they can see fumes coming out from the top of your head. “’Samu’s dream is just as good as your’s to go pro! No one ever gave you shit when you decided ya wanted to go pro, so why are ya shitting all over ‘Samu’s dream to cook?” The brothers look at you stunned, never seeing you so upset. Sure you’ve been pissed at them, but right now, you’re so disappointed it seems. “Yer both basically doing the same thing! Yer both making people happy! I’m so proud of both of you, so why can’t- why can’t you be happy for him. I don’t- I don’t understand...” Tears make their way down your face, so overtake with emotion at how disrespectful the two were being to one another.

It’s at this moment that a pair of arms wrap around you from behind. You know it’s Shin so you just turn to him and sink into his embrace to let it all out. He holds you close to him, one hand on your head, the other on the small of your back.

“I want you two to fix that mess, I do not care if it was just Atsumu who did it.” He says referring to the mess of food all over the kitchen table. The two sink into themselves as they get lectured by their old captain. You doing it was enough, but this is a double knockout. “After you both get over yourselves you’re going to apologize to your sister,” Shin leads you up to your room and you both lay there while he holds you close to him. “I was going to wait outside, but I wanted to make sure you were ok.”

“I’m glad you’re here Shin.” You sniffle into his neck.

“I’ll always be here.”

The boys apologize to you once you’ve all calmed down and they apologize to each other, too. It’s just you and Kita sitting at the front of your bed on the floor. “I think I know what I want to do.” He hums, urging you to go on. “I want to take care of kids when they’re having the hardest time. I want to be a high school teacher, but a cool one. I don’t want to give out homework, or flood them with stress, I want them to discover who they are as much as they can before they go out into the world.” Kita doesn’t say anything, but a big smile makes its way across his face.

“That is a beautiful career for you. I’m happy for you.”

“Us too, imouto.” The boys say outside of your door causing the two of you to chuckle at their nosiness.

When you were in your second year of college, Kita started working for many different farms. Some grew strawberries, others peaches, but what he really wanted, was to have one of his own. He just wasn’t sure what exactly he wanted to focus on.

You two spent about two days out of the week together, but you made sure to enjoy the time you had.

It was also around this time that you two had been thinking of moving in together, but recently, you’ve both been trying to avoid each other.

About two months ago, you had a fight, for the very first time.

“Hey, Shin, can you throw me a towel please.” You accidentally spilled some wine on the counter and Kita has just come home from a long day of work.

He sighs as he hands you the rag. “Y/n, that’s about the 3rd time that you’ve created some sort of mess. I just don’t understand what’s so hard for you to just be a bit more aware of your surroundings.”

You’re taken aback by his tone, you thought maybe he had a bad day at work. “I know I’m a bit uncoordinated-”

“I think that is an understatement.” There’s no bite to his words, but you don’t see it that way.

“What do you mean by that.” Your hands grip the counter while he grabs a glass of water.

“You tend to be carefree, so much that you forget about the tiny things that may seem unnecessary to you.” There’s nothing there that’s of malice, no emotion behind his words.

In his mind, he’s just telling the truth. “Well, I’m sorry we can’t all be perfect like you, Shin. You do the same damn thing every day.”

“My life has routine, I’m stable and I enjoy doing what I do.” He puts the glass down to finally turn to face you. “I understand your life is a bit of a mess, but-”

“Am I supposed to have it all figured out?”

“I feel as though you should be a little farther along in discovering yourself than you are. You’re still acting childish, you’re 20-years old y/n.”

At this point, you’re just over this whole thing, not bothering to argue with him. “You know what I feel Shinsuke? I feel like ya need ta leave.”

You think that’s where you both went wrong. The two of you didn’t seem to care to solve the root of the problem. You both gave up. And that lead to more meaningless arguments.

The two of you argued over TV shows, dinner, your careers, both of you hurting each other where you know it stings. It just comes out.

Until one day, you both just stopped talking.

When you got back home from your final exams, Kita was sitting on your couch watching a show the two of you loved. As much as you two were growing distant, Kita was still there. He always was.

You put your bag down and sat on the chair across from him. You used to climb in his lap and snuggle up next to him, but that must’ve been ages ago.

He’s adapted to your new routine, so much so that he didn’t even seem to notice your relationship falling apart. But he did. He knew you guys were hanging on a string, but he just couldn’t let you go. “Shin,” you call out to him, your eyes glued to the TV. “Do you still love me?”

There is no hesitation in his answer. “With everything I have.” This answer breaks the resolve you had and your shoulders shake from you trying to withhold your tears.

Maybe this would have been easier if you two had fallen out of love with one another, but you never did, neither of you. How is it you want to let him go, but still hold him close at the same time. “I-I love you, too. So much. That’s why this is so hard.” He stares at you, wondering what you mean. “I’m tired Shin. Aren’t you tired?”

“I had a nap when I got home, but if you want I can take you to your room and you can take one.” He knows his time with you is running out. He just wants to hold you one more time.

“No-” It’s too late because he already scooped you up and is taking you to bed. You don’t argue with him, selfishly, you want this too.

He tucks you in and engulfs you in his arms. “Rest well.”

Kita wakes up first and admires the way you look while you sleep. You always looked so beautiful, but he loves your face when it’s relaxed, not torn, or wrinkled from the strain of your relationship.

As much as he notices these changes in you, you’ve noticed those small changes in him, too. His wrinkles are becoming more prominent and he’s only 21. He spends more time at work, more willing to work overtime or not see you on the days he usually does. You know he’s not consciously doing it, in the back of your minds, you both need space from each other. No matter how much you love one another.

When you open your eyes, Kita brushes your hair away from your face and offers you a smile. “I’m tired too.”

As much as you tried, you couldn’t hold back the sobs that left your body. Instinctively, he goes to hold you which only seems to make it worse, but you cling on to him for dear life. Like he’s going to leave forever if you let go. “This-this feels wrong because, I-I still love you s-s-so much. So much.”

“Y/n,” You look up at him, lip quivering and all. “I don’t believe I have ever loved anything as much as I love you. And because of that, I know that we have to do this.”

“Yer so responsible Shin.”

“You were the one who brought the conversation up, I know how hard this must’ve been on you.” He says sincerely.

You nod at him. “I’m sorry Shin, for letting us get to here-” you start to sob again. “I’m so sorry.”

You’re so lost in your own grief you don’t notice the small tears the escaped from the grey-haired man. “Me, too.”

“I love you.”

“Me, too.”

When Osamu got home that day, he honestly thought you were dead. You weren’t moving, weren’t responding to his voice, or his food. He moved your body while he was on the phone with Atsumu.

“She’s not movin’ at all?” Atsumu asks as he looks at your resting body through the camera.

Osamu shakes his head, forgetting his brother can’t see him. “I don’t know, maybe I should-”

You finally pick up your head and glare at your brothers. At first, they’re both a little frightened from the way you look, but Atsumu’s quick to poke at you. “Hey troll, what’s wrong with ya?”

The tears start to make their way back and Osamu drops the phone in order to pull you into a hug. You’re practically wailing and Osamu does his best to calm you down. “Hey, shhhh shhh, what’s going on, what’s wrong y/n?”

There’s nothing but incoherent sentences coming from your mouth leaving Osamu confused. “What? How did that happen?”

“You got that!?” Osamu questioned his brother. “What’d she say?”

“Her and Kita-san broke up.”

It took them a while to get you to stop crying and hiccuping so you could speak to them, but all you wanted to do was close your eyes and hope this was all a bad dream.

“Here ya go, kiddo.” Osamu hands you a cup of hot chocolate, and some crackers to eat, along with an onigiri. You push away the food and just take the hot chocolate. “C’mon kiddo, you have to eat ok?” He pushes it back towards you and you reluctantly take it.

He grabs your hand telling you it’s going to be ok, but it doesn’t feel like it will. It feels like your world just ended because he was your world. Everything began and ended with him. Now that he’s gone, you’re not sure who you are apart from him. A stranger in your own body.

Today, you succumb to your misery, but what will you do tomorrow?

4 years later...

After you finished college, you got a job working at your old high school Inarizaki. You taught a full-year elective course which you started two years ago. It was called “Who are you today?”

It started off small, only one class with about ten people, but they made all the difference from one or two. The year after that, you had 80 students who wanted to take your class, you taught four classes a day, and it was light of your life.

The bell rings and the last class of the day is getting up to leave. “Don’t forget to drop off your favorite inspirational quotes at my desk.”

“Yes, Miya-sensei.” The class says in unison. It’s a Friday, so they’re all eager to leave and enjoy the weekend, but they are always respectful and never rush out of your class. “Enjoy your weekend, Miya-Sensei.” A girl tells you before leaving last and joining her friend.

You look through all of the kids’ cards and smile at the sweet ones and laugh at the funny ones. Then this one card stuck out to you:

“You have to find yourself, and once you do, take that person and ask yourself, ‘what can I do to be better for myself.’” -Miya-Sensei

This was something you said at the beginning of the year and you were so proud that one of your students remembered you saying it. These were the times that teaching was an absolute joy in your life. You feel as if your kids are actually learning more about how to be in-tune with themselves, rather than learn how to recite a textbook.

This is all you’ve ever wanted.

During your last year of college, you went through a major identity crisis, bordering existential. You questioned the reason for your being and wondered who you were. You told yourself you weren’t funny, weren’t finding cures or making discoveries, so what the hell are you doing?

That’s when you did some soul searching. You took up a meditating class which really honed in all these thoughts and visited your college therapist. You got over your fears of not always knowing what the future had in-store for you. It’s matured you over the years, but never losing the fun-childish side.

The quote your student gave you was one you told yourself on the daily. You were always looking for ways to improve yourself, whether it be physically, mentally or emotionally. You’ve gained the ability to speak out during staff meetings and get your ideas out there to really advocate for your students and their well-being. Not only for yours, but all students. It’s been a work in progress, but you’re slowly getting to the board with the letters you send them about the benefits of not having extensive homework or even having a mental health day for them.

For yourself, you’re just trying to tone your body and feel good for you and only you. Atsumu and his teammates also tag along and encourage you to do what makes you happy.

When you walk out of your classroom, the english teacher walks out too. “Oh, hi Miya-san.” He waves to you.

“Hello Saito-san. Nice to see you.” You really didn’t like talking to him because he always tried to low key (high key) ask you to take him to one of your brother’s volleyball games.

“Are you doing anything fun this weekend?” There it is.

You shake your head. “Just planning on staying home and relaxing.”

“Oh, that’s good.”

When the two of you get outside, the familiar car pulls up in front of you. “This is my ride, have a nice weekend Saito-san.” You hop into the car and let out a sigh. “Thank you for taking me home, Suga-senpai.”

“It’s really no big deal y/n. My kids are at the hotel right now with their chaperones, they don’t need me back for another hour.” He replies cooly.

You and Suga met at a teacher’s convention, even though you weren’t in the same sections, it was hard to avoid bumping into each other. Now you’ve become really good friends and even joke around how you could’ve met the Spring Tournament of your second-year. He always said you were “soul-sisters” you agree just to entertain him.

“Maybe you should tell him you have a boyfriend or something, so that he leaves you alone.” Suga helps out.

You place a hand on your face and sigh. “If it was me he was after this would’ve been over, but I think he’s in love with my brother.”

“Which one?”

That makes you laugh. “The less-hotter-one as you say.”

His eyes get small and makes a duck face. “Don’t tell Daichi I said that.”

“I haven’t to this day.” Suga drops you off at your apartment and you wave goodbye as he drives off.

When you get in to your house you remove your shoes and neatly put them on the rack while also hanging your bag on it. The smell of food overtakes you before you could get into the house and you follow it to the kitchen.

Your brother is at the stove while the blonde one is helping him cut up some onions. “What are you makin’ ‘Samu?”

“I don’t even know yet, I’m experimenting.” He keeps moving around the kitchen graciously, not missing a beat.

“Hey, I’m helpin’ him.” Atsumu calls as he continues to chop an onion and tears fall down his face.

You walk over to him and place an arm around him. “Really? I thought you were in yer feels or somethin’.” The two of you bicker back and forth, and before you know it, ‘Samu has finished up his new food.

“Anybody hungry?”

When you all finished, you and Atsumu washed the plates and cleaned up the kitchen as a thanks to your brother for feeding you. “How’s training going?”

“Good, the Olympics are coming up soon. Bo, Omi, and Shoyo are all going to be on the team.” He takes the garbage bag and throws it down the trash chute.

You raise an eyebrow at him questioningly. “What about you?”

On cue, his mouth comes up to a smirk and stares you down. “What do you think, baby Miya?” All the guys on the Jackals gave you that nickname because for the longest time, they thought you were their younger sister. What you like to call yourself is the forgotten twin. Once they all found out of course, that you were all triplets, the team bullied your brother for looking so much older than you.

That made you smile and punch your brother on his side.

“Hey, y/n. Can you help me out at the store tomorrow?” Osamu calls from the living room.

“Sure, sounds good.”

The three of you then proceed to watch a movie together while eating some onigiris Osamu brought home from work.

Ever since Osamu found you in your bed, torn apart, neither him nor Atsumu ever asked you what happened. You told them it was mutual, but that was the only information they were given.

After they made sure you were ok, they checked on their former captain, who was actually under Aran’s care. He wasn’t as emotional as you were, but they would have rather him be upset or sad than what he actually was. Kita gave up on his whole lifestyle. He wouldn’t clean the dishes, wouldn’t put things back where they belonged. All he did, was go to work, come home, eat, and sleep. All of his usual rituals were cast aside and that scared them the most.

Seeing the twins hurt the first few times they came over. The boys noticed Kita would try his very best to avoid looking at their faces, but he always spoke to them. He was never rude, it wasn’t in his nature. The twins eased their way back into their old captain’s life. All they knew was the two of you decided you needed to be yourselves without each other.

It was an odd transition for everyone. They either all hung out with you or with Kita, as much as you wanted to be ok to hang out with him like normal, you couldn’t see him. Not yet, not while you were still healing back then.

When you got your teaching job, the boys decided to move into an apartment together with you. It was as if you were still home, except your mom wasn’t there to stop you guys from killing one another. It all worked out though because usually, when you got into arguments, there was always one of you that would put a stop to it.

Suna always tends to come over in the middle of these events, so he obviously needs to record this to save to his Miya siblings folder. He never stopped it, but always tried to get a rise out of Atsumu specifically. You think Suna has a thing for your brother, but you can’t be too sure.

Once the movie finishes, you all go to your rooms to rest for the day.

However, it’s not too long until Osamu is waking you up at an ungodly hour on a Saturday. “’Samuuuuu. It’s too earlyyyy.”

“Y/n, it’s 8 o’clock.” You grumble at him to get out so you can get dressed. You put on your Onigiri Miya hat and shirt with some leggings and sneakers so you’re comfy for the day. “Let’s go.” ‘Samu calls from the front door and you rush outside to get in the car with him.

When you get to the shop ‘Samu goes to the back to look for the rice that was delivered at 6am.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” He sighs.

“What happened?” Once you get to the back, you see it empty. No rice. No rice means no onigiris. No onigiris means no opening the store. No opening the store means a very upset Miya, and it’s not you. “Awe shit.”

He nods while angrily going on his phone. “He left me a fucking voicemail at 5 in the morning. Are you shitting me?” He presses play and it’s the delivery man saying he was on an impromptu vacation and couldn’t deliver the rice in time. “Asshole.” Your brother was pacing, worried about the state of the shop. “Ok, I’ll pick up the rice, you keep people from comin’ in and calm ‘em down if they get upset.”

Now this was a terrible idea. “Um, ‘Samu, most of your regulars don’t know I exist or that we’re even related. You’re the face of the business. You do what you have to do here and I’ll pick up the rice.”

“Y/n I don’t think-”

“I can do it ‘Samu. Plus, I’m a faster driver than ya.” You wink at your brother before snatching the keys to the truck from his hand. “Text me the address ok?”

He nods and you hop into the truck. It has been a while since you’ve driven one, considering people always offer you rides. It’s just like riding a bike, you never really forget, and once you’re on the highway, you’re off.

Always staying in the right lane since big trucks aren’t allowed in the far left. You make pretty good time. You get to the farm where ‘Samu gets his rice and back into the entrance to make it easier to load the truck.

It’s a beautifully kept place. All the crops were well-taken care of and the land was breathtaking. You make a mental note to come the country side more often or even schedule a trip here for your students.

You spot the rice bags sitting nicely on the porch of the house next to the farm. When you start to grab one to load them in, a man comes out of nowhere to help. “Let me help you with that, Miss.” The two of you put the sacks you were holding in the truck.

“Thank you...” When you look at the man who helped you, you’re surprised to see who it is. He also looks taken aback from seeing you as it had been well over 4 years since he’s last seen your face. You’ve matured, you look older, but it suits you. He notes that you seem skinnier and is a bit worried but doesn’t impose. Meanwhile, he looks bigger, muscular, much more than he was. You never realized how good of a workout farming could be. You smile at him, sweat covering both of your foreheads. “Hi Shin.”

It was an accident really, you didn’t mean to call him by that nickname, but it seems like he doesn’t mind at all. His initial face of shock turns into one of pure delight. “Hello, y/n.” Despite all the time you’ve spent apart, the feelings are still there. You still make his heart beat speed up, and he still causes your face to redden with his stupidly handsome face, but you just blame it on the heat.

“Ah, how have you been?” The two of you talk as you load the truck.

“Very well, and yourself? Are you working as a teacher now?” Kita knew the answer to this already, but he really wanted to hear what you had to say.

The mention of your job causes a smile to break on your face. “Yea! I’m back at Inarizaki. I have my own class, it’s about self-discovery and taking care of yourself.”

“I remember.” Ah, that one really got you. For a moment, you forgot you were talking to your ex-boyfriend, and more of just your old friend.

You cough to recover from the little freeze you did. “So, who are you working for now?”

“I’m not.” He tells you and you turn your head to the side. “This is my farm. I own it.”

If it was possible, your jaw drops to the floor and you lean against the truck for support. “This whole thing?” Kita nods at your question. “Shin I’m so fuckin’ proud of you! I’m so happy for you!” You jump on him and hug him, he hugs you back, enjoying the feeling of having you close to him. You pull back and look at him sheepishly. “Ah, sorry about that.”

He shakes his head at you. “Don’t be, it made me happy.” You blush yet again, stupid heat. He hesitates reaching for your hand, but does so anyway, holding it in his. “Would you like to come inside? To talk, or drink some iced tea?”

“I would love to- ah wait. Ughhh. I’m sorry I can’t. ‘Samu needs this rice like ASAP.” He nods, disappointed but he’s sure not to let it show, at least that’s what he thinks. “Can you do tomorrow? Same time?”

“That’s perfect.” You both exchange your new numbers before you hop into the truck and turn it on. He waves back at you as you put it in drive. “Y/n.” You turn to him before pulling out of the driveway. “I missed you.”

Your heart contorts and you’re a mess of feelings. “Me, too.”

When you get back to the shop you, Osamu and his employees help unload the truck with rice and immediately get to work. Even Atsumu is here on his day off from volleyball after hearing the crisis you guys were in.

It was a crazy day in the store indeed. Osamu was in the front talking to all the customers and keep them cool, but simultaneously worrying about how you guys were doing in the back. This was super stressful on you, so you could only imagine how your brother was feeling.

“Order up!” They kept coming up and by the end of the day, you swear if you see one more onigiri you’re going to punch someone.

The three of you take off your caps to wipe the sweat off your tears. “Guys, you can go home early, thank you for all your help.” Osamu says to his staff and they thank him for his kindness.

“Alright y/n, let’s go.” Atsumu begins to get up, but he puts his hand on his twin’s shoulder before pushing him back down.

You chuckle at the interaction. “Sit down, piss-head.”

“’Samu! You used to have grey hair, you looked like an old man!” Atsumu retorts to his brother.

They bicker for a bit before he turns his attention back to you. “How was it?”

“What?” You ask confused, but Osamu just gives you an unamused look. “OH!” You say finally understanding what he meant. “It was good. He helped me put the rice in the truck and we talked for a bit.”

“Wait what happened?” Atsumu chimes in only to be ignored.

“What did you talk about?”

“Who talked to who?” Atsumu comes in again

“Just our lives now, no biggie.”

Osamu gives you another another look. “Who’s life?” Atsumu comes back.

“It’s been years and that’s all you did?” He doesn’t buy it. Not for one second.

“What’s all you did?”

You roll your eyes. “We’re meeting again tomorrow, but it’s nothing major-”

“WHO AND WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN’ ABOUT??!!” Atsumu all but yells to your faces.

You and Osamu purse your lips. “Now, now ‘Tsumu. You do know it’s not nice to yell and snoop in on other people’s conversations?” You scold the eldest twin who just keeps his mouth open in shuck.

Osamu chuckles at him as Atsumu punches his shoulder. “You guys suck! I’m not talkin’ to either of ya anymore!” He huffs and turns away from you like a kid.

“I talked to Kita.” Atsumu immediately turns back with an angelic look on his face.

“Go on.”

The next day you go to Kita’s place and you’re a ball full of nerves, but you soon realize how unwarranted that is. The two of you get back into step with each other easily, talking about what you’re doing now and how you both are incredibly happy with the lives you are leading now.

Shin shows you around his farm and even gives you a straw hat to protect yourself from the sun. What he doesn’t tell you is that it’s his straw hat. Unfortunately, you aren’t able to go over all the acres of land, but you two watch the sunset on a raised pile of dirt. “Wow, I bet nothing can beat this. It’s beautiful.”

He smiles, beyond happy at how appreciative you are of everything he’s done, and how proud you are of him. It makes him feel like everything he has accomplished, matters. “You’re beautiful too, y/n.”

There’s a slight tint of red that makes its way onto his face and you smile. You two talk more about random things, jokes here and there, just honest catching up. It’s almost midnight when you look at the clock and you have messages from your brothers asking if they should go get you.

“Ah, I should go. It’s getting late.”

Kita nods. “I’ll walk you out.” You get to the door and he puts his coat on you because of how chilly it might be outside. Even though your car is right in front, you don’t say anything. When you turn to bid him goodbye, he holds your face in his hands. “Sorry,” he tells you but doesn’t let go. “May I?”

At first you’re not sure what he means, but you nod anyway. He leans down and gently caresses his lips with yours. There’s nothing too crazy about it, but just because it’s him, it causes your knees to go weak and you place your hands on his shoulder.

When you part, the both of you have very evident blushes on your faces, with smiles so wide they might rip your faces. “I want to see you again.” He says. “Do you want to come back some time?”

“Yea. I really do.”

A couple months passed and you and Shin have been seeing each other pretty regularly. You haven’t put a name or title to it or anything, but neither of you feels the need to do so. The two of you simply like to be in each other’s presence.

You stopped by Onigiri Miya to pick up snacks for your kids, Osamu generously offered to feed your kids and the school gave him a cut from the field trip money. You have three volleyball students in your class, and they stared starry-eyed at your brother while they waited in the bus.

Then, you made it to your next stop to Kita’s farm. Your whole class was blown away by how vast the land was and how pretty everything was. They split off in groups, each of them given a whistle so that if they got lost, we could find them.

Your volleyball students also recognized Kita and bowed to him. “Thank you for having us Kita-senpai!” He gave the kids a pep talk and then they were off.

“How was your day?” You ask him.

He looks out to the land and watches the kids run around and follow the scavenger hunt he made for them. “Good. Just waiting for you.”

His answer takes you a little off guard, you feel as if he’s directing it at you more so than your whole class. “Sorry to have kept you waiting.”

The sun starts going down and your kids are settled on the dirt hill that you and Shin sat on some moons ago. They’re all eating their onigiri and drinking their juice as they just watch. No one takes out their phone or takes any pictures. The are just simply enjoying one of the simple yet beautiful things in life we often overlook.

You and Shin are sitting next to each other and he reaches for your hand, both of you not tearing your eyes away from the falling sun. He squeezes it three times. I. Love. You. You squeeze it four times back. I. Love. You. Too.

You’re not kids anymore, but that’s exactly why you both now that this time...

You’re not saying goodbye.

A/N: This is long as shit. Sorry, I just got so into this story and fell in love with it, but I also didn’t want to make it multiple parts. Thank you for enjoying my writing! See you next time!

Inbox is Open!

Taglist: @aurorahoneybuns @elianetsantana @bigdickdaichi @lilsweetsie @erinoikawa @mel-goes-unknown @haikyuutothetop @tsukisemi @youngandloveless @arminbitchlover

If you want to be a part of my taglist, comment on this post or send me a message

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thewaynemanner · 5 years ago

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Wholesome BatFamily Fic Rec’s

Hey All, so here is my BatFam Rec List you all have been asking for! Lol jk no one has asked for this, but I made it anyways! So here are my All-Time Favorite BatFamily Fic Recs, for the most part these Recs are all rated either “G” for General Audiences or “T” for Teen and Up Audiences. So basically, all these fics focus on family dynamics and relationships rather than slash or anything like that. These are all truly amazing fics so give your Kudos and love to the authors! And remember to always read the tags before you read the fic!

And So This is Christmas by DragOnstOrm

Summary: It's not that Alfred isn't happy with his job. It's just that sometimes he really wishes that he had known what he was getting into when he signed up for it.

Rating: General Audiences

Word Count: 1,901

My Comments: Folks, stories don’t get much more wholesome than this fic. After reading this fic I was left warm and happy. Also, it stars my boy, Alfie, which is usually extremely rare for fics. Loved that we got to see Alfred’s perspective in this! Great fic!

Bedside Manner by @fishfingersandjellybabies

Summary: Sometimes Bruce forgot just how great his kid was.

Rating: General Audiences

Word Count: 2,985

My Comments: Anything @fishfingersandjellybabies writes is truly fantastic, but I particularly loved this one since it delved into the sweeter side of Bruce and Damian’s relationship that we don’t get to see often (especially in cannon). I love me a good hurt/comfort fic 😉

Bet on it by @lysical

Summary: Even Damian could admit that his older siblings occasionally had their uses.

"I need your assistance," Damian said, voice low and tense.

"No," Jason replied, and hung up.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 2,495

My Comments: Lysical writes some of the best BatBrother Fics out there, folks. So if you want some wholesome and hilarious Bat sibling bonding, then look no further! Bet on it, is one of my personal favorites of Lysical’s. Great writing and great characterization!

Blood in the Water by MishaBerry

Summary: We all do stupid things when we are lonely, and in faraway lands, we hardly expect the consequences to follow us. Bruce certainly never thought twice about an American woman in Jaipur after one night with her. He hardly expected to see her ever again.

The universe, on the other hand, had different ideas, and the tides of time and chance brought Tim Drake to Bruce's life over and over again.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 181,939

My Comments: FANTASTIC AU! One of my favorite Tim Drake centric fics, but still has plenty of the rest of the BatFamily. I also love that we get to see Tim as his sweet six-year self. This story has it all, great characterizations, good plot, angst, fluff, and BatFamily bonding 😊

Cracked Foundation by @cdelphiki

Summary: The last thing Damian expected to happen when he ran away from home was to spend a day crammed into a small space with Jason Todd. His father's second son was a black sheep. An outcast. An angry, insanity driven criminal who enjoyed screwing with the batfamily in every way he could. At least, that's what Damian thought. Maybe he was wrong about Todd.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 20,902

My Comments: This is a brilliant fic that examines the relationship between Damian and Jason. I absolutely loved this fic and never wanted it to end. I truly wish there were more Jason and Damian Fics out there, I think it’s a character duo that isn’t explored nearly enough. If you love Damian and Jason brother bonding fics, you’ll love this one and if you’ve never read a bonding fic between these two brothers, you may just find a new love!

Five Times Jason Todd Saved His Brothers, and One Time They Saved Him by laceymcbain, reena_jenkins

Summary: “Did you know I was in here, or did you just blow up the place for fun?”

Damian didn't need to see Todd's face to know he was grinning under the helmet.

“It's not really a rescue unless something blows up. But if Bats asks, it was completely necessary."

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 6,923

My Comments: This fic is BatFamily feels to the extreme. Jason Todd deserves love and this fic gives it to him. LOVED IT <3 <3 <3

Fly By Night by @lysical

Summary: Damian is thirteen. Sometimes he even acts like it.

"This is an injustice," were the last words Damian had spoken to his father all day.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 2,889

My Comments: Another great Fic by @Lysical! This is just a plain ol’ fun Fic, y’all. Great Bat Brother love in this one and it also features my sweet summer child- Jonathan Samuel Kent. Trust me you will love this Fic, it is hilarious and all around good stuff 😊

A Good Place by @lemonadegarden

Summary: Damian Wayne is kidnapped and sent back years through time. Together, he and Father – who's only been Batman for a mere six months –must figure out how to return him to his own time.

Over the course of the next week, Damian discovers that Mexican gangsters do not mess around, that social workers find Bruce annoying, that Bruce might be a little messed up, and that crystal chandeliers create the fondest memories.

Oh. And Alfred has hair.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 36,903

My Comments: LemonadeGarden is one of my All-Time favorite authors, so anything written by them is brilliant. But A Good Place will always be a favorite of mine, it is by far my favorite Damian & Bruce centric Fic out there and is something I have read over and over again. I love getting to see a younger Bruce interact with Damian and in turn, Damian interact with him. It’s overall great and has a fantastic plot!

Let There Be a Bruise by @audreycritter

Summary: Damian is a child who should not have the scars he does; Bruce is a father who has plenty of his own scars, but still wishes he could take his son’s, too.

The silver lining is where they find each other— a broken son and a broken father, putting each other back together.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 3,656

My Comments: Audreycritter is the master of Damián & Bruce Hurt/Comfort fics. I honestly would recommend all of Audrey’s fics, so check them all out! But this one will always be a favorite 😊

Life Happens by @cdelphiki

Summary: While walking home from an event at Wayne Enterprises, Tim and Damian are kidnapped and sent to an alternate dimension. In a world where superheroes are merely comic book characters and the idea of the multiverse is only a theory found within the pages of science fiction, how are Tim and Damian going to return home? How long will they be stranded on this strange Earth? And will the boys murder each other before they figure it out?

Rating: General Audiences

Word Count: 176,966

My Comments: Hoo-boy, folks. I don’t even know where to start with this Fic. I honestly get teary-eyed thinking about how beautiful it is and how much I loved this one. My favorite Tim Drake and Damian Wayne brotherly bonding Fic EVER. I would almost describe this Fic as a love letter to the characters Tim and Damian, in the sense that the author captures their characterizations beautifully and tells one of the best stories of growth and familial love I have ever read. It’s fluffy, angsty, humorous, and full of BatFamily feels. And don’t worry, there is plenty of Dick, Jason, and Bruce as well (If not a little later in the story). I would run to this Fic, if I were you.

Life, if Well Lived by CaptainOzone

Summary: Jason wakes up from a time-travel mishap to find Thomas and Martha Wayne hovering over him.

Just another day in the life, right?

...Not quite.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 10,758

My Comments: A Fic that destroyed me in the BEST way possible. Tears, so many tears were shed during this fic. The best Hurt/Comfort fic I have ever read. Extremely unique in the sense that Martha and Thomas Wayne are two of the main characters and boy did I love it! I can not stress how AMAZING this Fic is. I never knew I needed this fic in my life until I read it. I wish I could re-read it for the first time all over again. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT!

My Brother’s Keeper by Forever_A_Thief

Summary: The boy had two options, two roads stretching out before him: stay with Mother, and become the greatest assassin ever known to man, or go to Father, and become a masked vigilante fighting for justice in a city drenched in darkness. Damian looked at these two roads, these two lives he could lead, and decided on a third path for himself instead. He chose his own road.

Jason never let himself think about the kid he had left behind at the desert compound all those years ago. When Talia never got in touch with him after his return to Gotham, Jason had assumed he had just been forgotten like he had been in Gotham. But then that kid, his little brother, showed up one night and Jason couldn’t just continue to push him to the back of his mind. Not anymore.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 43,907

My Comments: Did I mention I love Jason & Damian fics? Well I do and this one is beyond FANTASTIC. Overall great Bat-Bros fic that I would recommend over and over again. This fic is Damian and Jason centric but it does involve the rest of the Bat Family too. I love seeing all the brother’s bonding in this fic and the overall family feels 😊

Of Owls and Assassins by Cirth

Summary: "Dick," Bruce says, not entirely sure how to react, "who is that?"

Dick blinks at him from his place on the workout mat. There's a broken plate with mac and cheese strewn all over next to him, as well as what seems to be Bruce's old G.I. Joe action figure from the attic. It looks like a child's imagining of a murder scene. "My owlet," Dick states.

Rating: General Audiences

Word Count: 853

My Comments: The adorableness of this Fic is off the charts. I love AU’s where Dick is a Talon, but this one will always hold a very special place in my heart since Dick is just so pure in it. Forever a favorite <3

Party Games by @lemonadegarden

Summary: I can't believe you got into a bar fight at two in the morning. And now you're all in prison. The night before your wedding. What the fuck kind of a family am I marrying into?” Selina said.

Bruce Wayne goes to a series of bachelor parties, each one worse than the last. Set in the same timeline as We, So Much Older, but can be read as a standalone fic as well.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 12,659

My Comments: Okay, so technically this is a Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne Fic and even though the plot premise revolves around their upcoming wedding, I wouldn’t really consider this a “slash” fic. There is definitely more BatFamily vibes with this fic. It’s hilarious, fun, and oh so wholesome! I love this fic beyond measure and even if you aren’t a fan of the BatCat ship, I highly suggest you give it a shot for the amazing BatFam moments.

Second Chance by @cdelphiki

Summary: When Talia al Ghul watched her toddling son start his training, his awful, grueling training, she had an epiphany:

The League of Assassins was no place for children.

(Or: Talia realizes training literal babies is abuse and gets him out of there.)

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 6,461

My Comments: This is the Talia al Ghul we deserve! This is the Talia al Ghul, Bruce Wayne deserves! THIS IS THE TALIA AL GHUL, DAMIAN WAYBE DESERVES! Loved this fic, great Talia al Ghul characterization. It’s the Talia that could have ben before DC slaughtered her character.

Running Headlong into My Arms by gleesquid

Summary: Bruce doesn’t like to credit one thing for saving his life, but if he did, it would be Haly’s Circus that Friday night in September, just as summer was beginning to die.

(He'll always be a sucker for kids with sad eyes, no parents, and more fight than the world knows what to do with.)

Or: in a universe where superheroes don't exist, Bruce Wayne finds his family.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 54,231

My Comments: I feel like this fic is a right of passage into the BatFamily fandom, so if by some chance you haven’t already read it, I highly suggest you move this straight to the top of your reading list. It’s a classic and has everything you could ever want in a BatFam Fic.

we are not alone in the dark by @audreycritter

Summary: Damian has a flashback on a family camping trip.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 2,218

My Comments: A BatFam camping trip, need I say more? One of my favorite hurt/comfort fics involving Damian. We get to see some super sweet moments between Bruce and Damian, and Damian and Jason. Loved it.

Where You Go, I Follow by @fishfingersandjellybabies

Summary: In some world, Dick Grayson was never revived by Lex Luthor, and was probably better for it.

Rating: General Audiences

Word Count: 1,427

My Comments: BROKE MY HEART, but in the best possible way. I cried both sad tears and happy tears for this fic. LOVED IT! I have read it at least six times (I’m going read it again after I post this rec). A fantastic Dick & Damian story. I also love the title; it captures the mood perfectly. I’m always a sucker for fics that are inspired by songs, this one was inspired by ‘I Will Follow You’ by Toulouse!

Video message incoming by helenabertinellis

Summary: The League are just wrapping up their meeting when a call comes through the Watchtower servers.

It's for Batman.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 1,228

My Comments: I consider this a classic BatFam fic, so I will be shocked if you haven’t read it, but on the off chance that you have not read it, GO READ IT NOW. It’s humorous and all so wholesome 😊

Yesterday’s Voices by @lemonadegarden

Summary: While trying to take down a drug cartel that deals with memory altering drugs, things go awry, and Batman wakes up with no recollection of the last five years.

As a result, his family must now race against time to find the antidote, while also having to deal with a Bruce who still thinks Jason is Robin. A Bruce who doesn't recognise most of them. A Bruce far less jaded and cynical than the one they're used to. A Bruce who still cares.

Rating: General Audiences

Word Count: 49,000

My Comments: Surprise, surprise another amazing fic by LemonadeGarden. I will be shocked if you haven’t read this fic yet, but on the off chance that you haven’t, I am telling you now, to RUN to this fic. It will forever and always be my MOST FAVORITE BATFAMILY fic out there. I honestly wish this fic never had ended, it’s one that will always hold a special spot in my heart. THIS IS THE BRUCE WAYNE WE DESERVE.

For More Fic Recs Check-Out:

BatFamily Fic Recs part 2

BatFamily Fic Recs Part 3

BatFamily Fic Recs Part 4

BatFamily Fic Recs Part 5

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arctic-comet · 4 years ago

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Osblaineweek2021, Day 2: Prose

I love book quotes. Looking at quotes is one of my favorite ways to to inspire myself to write more fic.

Here’s a small collection of book quotes (and recs!) of where I’ve “found” June and Nick.

This post contains spoilers for the following books/series:

- Lover Mine by JR Ward

- The Wrath and The Dawn duology by Renée Ahdieh

- A Court of Thorns and Roses series by Sarah J. Maas

Lover Mine by J.R. Ward

Summary:

John Matthew has come a long way since he was found living among humans, his vampire nature unknown to himself and to those around him. After he was taken in by the Brotherhood, no one could guess what his true history was- or his true identity. Indeed, the fallen Brother Darius has returned, but with a different face and a very different destiny. As a vicious personal vendetta takes John into the heart of the war, he will need to call up on both who he is now and who he once was in order to face off against evil incarnate. Xhex, a symphath assassin, has long steeled herself against the attraction between her and John Matthew. Having already lost one lover to madness, she will not allow the male of worth to fall prey to the darkness of her twisted life. When fate intervenes, however, the two discover that love, like destiny, is inevitable between soul mates.

It's basically a paranormal love story between two warriors. He's really young (although he's actually a reincarnation of a very old vampire warrior, but he doesn't know that), and she's like 300 years older than him. In this book, she's been raped and abused by a guy who also used to bully him. She escapes, but he saves her life. She's hungry for revenge and wants to die after achieving that goal, but of course eventually changes her mind. In the end he actually serves her rapist to her on a silver platter so that she can kill him (sound like anyone we know?). He literally holds the guy down while she kills him.

They're my ultimate favorite ship in this series, and IMO their relationship eventually develops into one of the strongest ones. This series is a bit of a hit-or-miss for most people, because the language and the writing style are pretty ridiculous in all seriousness. If you decide to read this, I recommend starting the series from the beginning because John and Xhex meet for the first time several books before this one, LOL.

Here are some of the quotes that make me think of Nick and June:

“Besides, the story of the two of them was written in the language of collision; they were ever crashing into each other and ricocheting away—only to find themselves pulled back into another impact.” ― J.R. Ward, Lover Mine

“As his ears rang and his heart broke for her, he stayed strong against the gale force she let loose. After all, there was a reason why here and hear were seperated by so little and sounded one like the other. Bearing witness to her, he heard her and was there for her because that was all you could do during a fall apart. But God, it pained him to see how she suffered.” ― J.R. Ward, Lover Mine

“...the only thing that had tethered her to the earth had been him and it was strange, but she felt welded to him on some core level now. He had seen her at her absolute worst, at her weakest and most insane, and he hadn't looked away. He hadn't judged and he hadn't been burned. It was as if in the heat of her meltdown they had melted together. This was more than emotion. It was a matter of soul.” ― J.R. Ward, Lover Mine

The Wrath and the Dawn duology by Renée Ahdieh

Summary:

One Life to One Dawn. In a land ruled by a murderous boy-king, each dawn brings heartache to a new family. Khalid, the eighteen-year-old Caliph of Khorasan, is a monster. Each night he takes a new bride only to have a silk cord wrapped around her throat come morning. When sixteen-year-old Shahrzad's dearest friend falls victim to Khalid, Shahrzad vows vengeance and volunteers to be his next bride. Shahrzad is determined not only to stay alive, but to end the caliph's reign of terror once and for all. Night after night, Shahrzad beguiles Khalid, weaving stories that enchant, ensuring her survival, though she knows each dawn could be her last. But something she never expected begins to happen: Khalid is nothing like what she'd imagined him to be. This monster is a boy with a tormented heart. Incredibly, Shahrzad finds herself falling in love. How is this possible? It's an unforgivable betrayal. Still, Shahrzad has come to understand all is not as it seems in this palace of marble and stone. She resolves to uncover whatever secrets lurk and, despite her love, be ready to take Khalid's life as retribution for the many lives he's stolen. Can their love survive this world of stories and secrets?

This is a young adult fantasy romance, and basically, Khalid is a lot like Nick. He’s made mistakes that he needs to own, but at the same time he’s forced to commit atrocities he doesn’t want to do. He hates himself and doesn’t believe himself to be worthy of love, and yet he falls in love with Shazi. He's viewed as the villain of the story by everyone aside from Shazi and a few other characters until almost the end of the 2nd book.

“I love you, a thousand times over. And I will never apologize for it.”

―Renee Ahdieh, The Wrath and the Dawn

“It’s a fitting punishment for a monster. to want something so much—to hold it in your arms — and know beyond a doubt you will never deserve it.”

― Renee Ahdieh, The Wrath and the Dawn

“When I was a boy, my mother would tell me that one of the best things in life is the knowledge that our story isn't over yet. Our story may have come to a close, but your story is still yet to be told.

Make it a story worthy of you”

― Renee Ahdieh, The Wrath and the Dawn

“In that moment of perfect balance, she understood. This peace? These worries silenced without effort? It was because they were two parts of a whole. He did not belong to her. And she did not belong to him. It was never about belonging to someone. It was about belonging together.”

― Renee Ahdieh, The Rose & the Dagger

“A boy who'd thrived in the shadows.

Now he had to live in the light.

To live . . . fiercely.

To fight for every breath.”

― Renee Ahdieh, The Rose & the Dagger

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas

Summaries:

Book 1

Feyre's survival rests upon her ability to hunt and kill – the forest where she lives is a cold, bleak place in the long winter months. So when she spots a deer in the forest being pursued by a wolf, she cannot resist fighting it for the flesh. But to do so, she must kill the predator and killing something so precious comes at a price ... Dragged to a magical kingdom for the murder of a faerie, Feyre discovers that her captor, his face obscured by a jewelled mask, is hiding far more than his piercing green eyes would suggest. Feyre's presence at the court is closely guarded, and as she begins to learn why, her feelings for him turn from hostility to passion and the faerie lands become an even more dangerous place. Feyre must fight to break an ancient curse, or she will lose him forever.

Book 2

Feyre survived Amarantha's clutches to return to the Spring Court—but at a steep cost. Though she now has the powers of the High Fae, her heart remains human, and it can't forget the terrible deeds she performed to save Tamlin's people. Nor has Feyre forgotten her bargain with Rhysand, High Lord of the feared Night Court. As Feyre navigates its dark web of politics, passion, and dazzling power, a greater evil looms—and she might be key to stopping it. But only if she can harness her harrowing gifts, heal her fractured soul, and decide how she wishes to shape her future—and the future of a world cleaved in two. With more than a million copies sold of her beloved Throne of Glass series, Sarah J. Maas's masterful storytelling brings this second book in her seductive and action-packed series to new heights.

Fantasy romance with explicit sex scenes, and book 2 is a lot better than book 1. Our main character Feyre falls for a really boring fae guy, but also meets the hottest guy she’s ever known. The first guy of course isn't the real love interest (this is a twist this author loves to do). They all end up as prisoners, and the 2nd guy saves her life when the 1st one is totally useless. He also makes her hate him as he does it because he has to. After getting out, she tries to make her old relationship work, but it doesn’t, and guess who swoops in?

I do see some Nick in Rhysand (in addition to his role in the love triangle). They’re both traumatized and prefer to keep a lot of their feelings to themselves. I also see some of the same selflessness in both of them. Rhysand wants Feyre to choose him because she loves him, but he’s willing to accept that she may not, and doesn’t tell her that they’re pretty much destined to be together (it’s a supernatural thing, and he will suffer a lot if she decides she doesn’t want him).

“Everything I love has always had a tendency to be taken from me.”

―Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Thorns and Roses

“It took me a long while to realize that Rhysand, whether he knew it or not, had effectively kept me from shattering completely.”

― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Thorns and Roses

“Regardless of his motives or his methods, Rhysand was keeping me alive. And had done so even before I set foot Under the Mountain.”

― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Thorns and Roses

“Because," he went on, his eyes locked with mine, "I didn't want you to fight alone. Or die alone."

― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Thorns and Roses

“He thinks he'll be remembered as the villain in the story. But I forgot to tell him that the villain is usually the person who locks up the maiden and throws away the key. He was the one who let me out.”

― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Mist and Fury

“And I wondered if love was too weak a word for what he felt, what he’d done for me. For what I felt for him.”

― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Mist and Fury

“I was his and he was mine, and we were the beginning and middle and end. We were a song that had been sung from the very first ember of light in the world.”

― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Mist and Fury

#osblaineweek2021 #osblaine #the handmaid’s tale #nick x june

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bae-science · 4 years ago

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it’s t-t-t-t-time for another newt bae-science fic rec extravabonanza! same rules, same boys, same bullshit! let’s get into it:

a beginning; a second chance by @dykesword

other newt and i have a long and intricate ritualistic battle to become the alpha newt, but i gotta give credit where it’s due. if you like to annotate your books for fun, this fic will give you a looooong comment you’ll want to write, and for good reason! there’s a lot of really well done metaphor and character detail in here, while still keeping a very soft, melancholy but with a hopeful edge tone. and also, like, the care and detail in which newt’s mental state in the aftermath of the precursors’ abuse is depicted is so so good, and delightful to read

husbandly duties by @kingeiszler

i am soooo biased with this one bc technically it was made for me but GODDAMN it’s good. this shit has everything: gottlieb trio sibling dynamics, vanessa in giant femme earrings, hermann yearning, newt and karla infodumping together, newt’s terrible and accurate gaydar, gay crime, the newmann dynamic and why it works boiled down to its bare essentials, pride and prejudice glasses touch, and neon green acrylics. required reading for the vanessaverse

Say That Again by @robertfrobisherslover

WOOF. if you like mutual pining and lack of communication from men with rocks for their emotional processing centers, and guncle (gay uncle) newt and hermann and KILLER artsy sex scenes, and themes of words unsaid in a story about LANGUAGE..... oogoogogoogouhufug. the writing style is clear and well paced, i LOVE little mako’s scene she’s such a cutie, and there’s like. a line. that’s a play on the whole “it’s always been you” trope. that lives in my mind rent free forever.

speak right to my heart without saying a word by @thekaidonovskys

i’m just gonna paste the comment i left on it here, because that sums up what is so absolutely incredible about this fic the best:

so sometimes you stumble on a piece of fiction that you add to your little collection of stuff you would show a person if you wanted them to understand a part of you that you can't quite explain eloquently, or it would take too long, etc etc, and i've never really found something like that for my autism until now, which, like, poggers. and i'll be as straight up as i can while still being the biggest lesbian in the great state of ohio (not a hard feat but alan invented computers so i love continuing on the autistic tradition of being a living miracle), the chameleon effect hit me like a mack truck. catholic school in the deep south is the most potent and effective form of ABA therapy imaginable :/. so sometimes i wonder what i would be like if i didn't have such a strong ability to pass, and here's where we finally get to the part of this comment where i just vomit compliments at you: you nailed it. you got it. i don't know if you're on the spectrum, but either way, well fucking done. trauma therapy research talks a lot about healing fantasies, which are fantasies, usually in the form of daydreams, that abused/neglected/traumatized/etc people create that directly address a struggle they have and take the form of a scenario in which that struggle is helped in some way. it could be an abusive parent repenting and showering them with the love they never had, or someone finding them during a panic attack and somehow knowing how best to comfort them without having to ask, or being intimate with someone and having a scar or physical deformity they've been shamed for be given attention and care. and i think you have created the ultimate perfect healing fantasy for autistic people, or at least those with """"high functioning"""" autism. it has a character who is visibly and undeniably on the spectrum having the pain and trauma going through life like that causes being acknowledged and validated, they are purposefully paid attention to because person b genuinely likes them and wants to understand and respect who they are and how they function in the world, and thus get The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known as well as the eventual rewards of being loved, person b makes a genuine effort to help teach them social skills in a way they can understand and learn through and is there for them when these skills are being practiced, their space and boundaries are respected but they aren't infantilized or thought of as an emotionless robot, and they receive love and comfort on their own terms not despite of but because of who they are, even specifically being asked not to change the way they are because that way is lovable. they are openly desired. writing is my fucking JOB and it's still difficult to put into words how much you got 100000% right about the dream with this fic. i have been in the EXACT and i mean EXACT same situation as hermann when he asked newt if it was his personality itself that made people not like him, because i deadass made a spreadsheet of all my personality attributes i thought could be preventing me from making friends in college, and then asked my fellow nd friend to see if there was anything i was missing. so i guess what i'm trying to say is that this amazing, and i'm bookmarking it and putting it on my next fic rec post, and maybe one day way way in the future if i ever get a partner i want to explain the whole autism thing to, i'm gonna have them read this.

The Facts With Newton Geiszler, PhD by what_alchemy (NSFW)

storytime: i read this fic a few years ago, completely forgot the title and author, and ended up thinking about the part where hermann admits to having fucked a trailer hitch when he was a teenager, at least once a week. last november, i say to my friend samara on twitter, head of the BSHCU (buttslut hermann cinematic universe), hey this seems like something you’d have read, do you remember a fic where... and samara says FUCK i do know what you’re talking about lemme find it. so if the fact that i have been looking for this fic for like, two years, and that it contains a moment so iconic all i had to say is, “hermann says he fucked a trailer hitch” and she IMMEDIATELY knew what i was talking about, does not convince you to read this... go back to catholic school i guess.

Feeling Blue by TempusPetrichor

fics where newt goes back to work as a biologist, especially a xenobiologist, post pru are really interesting, and usually have something neat to say about recovery, how it isn’t linear, how it often involves us returning to things we love for comfort, etc. this one sure does! some good emotional and physical h/c, LOVE the use of the ghost drift, and it’s always fun to see post pru fics use dialogue very obviously taken from dbt, trauma-specific therapeutical texts, and anything that shows the author has experience with, or did their research on, ptsd therapies.

You’re Everyone That Ever Cared by KlavierWrites

you know a fic is good when it’s an only 9k slowburn and still manages to reach infinite regress levels of are you fucking KIDDING GO TO THERAPY. newt “acts of service” geiszler may have a little misplaced misogyny due to his broken woman-centric gaydar. as a treat. the fucking. post-drift scene where hermann subtextually screams “LOOK IN OUR BRAINS YOU FUCK I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU I JUST HAVE AUTISM AND CAREER IN STEM DISORDER” is soooooo. god just hermann in general in that scene is great. if you like classic mid 2010s era newmann, ghost drift romance, and good ole mutual pining, this is a treat.

Baby, You're Hotter than my Bunsen Burner by SkySongMA

moronosexual hermann representation is something that can actually be so personal

Times of Stress by RadioMoth

the boys are processinggggggg. man what a good, quick and powerful punch to the gut. if you like post-pr1 catharsis and physical h/c, AND are the one friend that likes to comment at the end of the movie that hey newt got beat the fuck UP, check this one out.

black tea by @faggotcas

okay first of all, god fucking tier url, lee. second of all, food as a love language is my SHIT. i love the very slow relationship development here, where you see them making a genuine effort to get along and that in turn leading to feelings reigniting. it’s such a sweet little moment of a fic, with a nice atmosphere and tone to fit it

now here’s the part where i usually drop my latest fic, but i haven’t written one this month because i’ve been busy launching an audio drama! you can find it here, it’ll be right up your alley if you like cryptids and gay scientists and enemies to lovers and good ole americana, but since this is a newmann post, i’m gonna recommend the pacific rim audio drama duology i did a while back! part one is called conversations from the brink, and it’s a little slice of the pr3 we better fucking get from streaming that godawful looking anime. love and lesbians to everyone ❤️

#pacific rim #pac rim #mine #newmann #pacific rim uprising #fic rec

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doctor-reid · 5 years ago

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You and Me Chapter Two

MASTERLIST | Series Masterlist

A/N: I’m not a big fan of this chapter but it’s needed for the plot.

Word Count: 1k

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The past five months have flown by. I was never expecting this kind of happy story for myself. I started dating Spencer, and it was great. We spent a lot of our time together. The only time we were apart for more than a day was when he was gone on a case.

I didn’t mind that though. When he was gone, I was able to focus a little better. My love life wasn’t the only thing going my way. My career had started taking off too. I booked a record deal and started doing bigger gigs around the United States. It was both a blessing and a curse though.

Since I was starting to book bigger gigs, people started randomly talking to me on the street. It was weird at first, but I got used to it. I didn’t want everybody in my personal life though, so I tried to be super secretive with where I went.

I didn’t want Spencer to deal with that kind of attention. He deals with enough at work, he doesn’t need to be bombarded by people. I started becoming a little more reclusive. I still hope my career will keep growing. At the same time, I am hoping it doesn’t.

Spencer had a day off today, so we decided to make it a lazy day at his place. I showed up early with a bag of m&ms and every season of Parks and Rec on DVD. Spencer was still in his ‘pajamas’. Really it was a big t-shirt and sweatpants. It was a good look on him though.

I didn’t get a chance to say anything before he tackled me onto the couch. The apartment was being filled with laughter. I was being attacked with kisses. He had me pinned and he knew it. I was wiggling around, trying to find a break from this monster on top of me. It felt like it was never going to end. That’s when he stood up.

“Coffee’s probably ready if you want to put in the DVD.” He started walking to the kitchen as if nothing had happened.

“What was that?” I asked him.

“I don’t know,’ he mumbled. “I just felt like being fun. Did I do something wrong?” he seemed genuinely concerned.

“No, it was just different. I’m not complaining though.”

I clicked play as he set the mugs down on the table. I knew the coffee was still going to be very hot, so I decided to wait a minute before trying to drink it. I threw my legs up on the couch and laid my head on his shoulder. He pulled me in closer and held his arms around my waist.

We sat there for hours, neither of us moving. It was peaceful and I felt safe.

“Y/N,” he whispered

“Yeah?”

“Are you ever going to drink that coffee or do you enjoy it more when it just sits there?”

I immediately sat up and grabbed the cup. I tried to drink it, but it was too cold for me to enjoy. I ended up spitting it back out. I stuffed some m&ms in my mouth to make the taste of stale, cold, coffee go away. Luckily, that helped.

Spencer just laughed at me. Apparently, this was funny to him.

“What’s so funny?” I tried to say it with a serious tone, but I was also laughing.

“Just you and your forgetfulness.” He placed a kiss on my forehead, as if that was supposed to make his comment less hurtful.

“I will have you know the only reason I forgot about that coffee was you. I was too busy being in love with you to remember the-” I cut off, realizing what I had just said. We had never said I love you before. I mean, we both knew it, but had never actually said it out loud.

Spencer’s face lit up like a Christmas tree when I said that four letter word.

“You,” his voice was almost breaking. “You love me?”

“Of course I do, I thought you knew that.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Oh baby,” I placed a gentle kiss on his lips. “I thought it was some kind of unspoken thing. I thought maybe you didn’t want to say it yet. Or-” This time my words weren’t intentionally cut off. They were cut off by Spencer’s lips on mine.

I could feel his hands tangled in my hair as he pulled me in deeper. Our mouths were moving as one. This was no longer a gentle ‘I love you’ kind of kiss. This was more emotional, more raw. It was getting more and more heated until. Everything stopped dead in its tracks. Spencer’s mouth was no longer on mine and I didn’t know why. He was the one to pull away from the kiss.

“Move in with me.” This was the reason he stopped that? It had only been five months and he wanted me to move in?

“What? Spencer, this is crazy.”

“Y/N, I love you so much. I want you here every day. So move in with me. Please?” His eyes were big. He looked like a lost little puppy dog, begging for the food he wasn’t supposed to have.

“How could I say no to that face.Tomorrow, we can go get my things.” My heart was beating out of my chest. This decision felt a little rushed, but I was in love. Maybe Spencer is the man I am supposed to be with forever. So why wait any longer?

He smiled at my response. Then he placed a small kiss on my forehead before turning back to the TV. We had a lot more time to be more active together. Right now, it was our lazy day.

TAGLIST: @thatsonezesty13 @101donuts

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #dr spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x fem!reader #Allireid fanfic #alli you and me #BAU #cm

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anthonyed · 5 years ago

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SteveTony Fic Recs

Feel Good

You Look A Lot Like My Next Boyfriend (91k + of satisfaction)

A Steve/Tony College AU. Tony attempts to “reform” his public image by doing charity work. Steve volunteers at said charity. They meet and kind of hate each other. Then, somehow, they end up friends. And one day Tony realizes he might be a little bit in love with Steve, which wouldn’t be that bad if Steve weren’t pretty much straight.

we must love one another and die (14k + of books, poetry, warmth and love)

There’s not much to do in sickbeds but read. Steve figures this out pretty early on. (Or, Tony and Steve bond over Lord of the Rings, among other things.)

Plot Heavy

Genesis (616/ultimates - 35k + of the best gender swap fic i’ve ever read)

Reluctant to make the truth about their secret weapon known, the American Government tells the world that Captain America is a man named Steve Rogers. According to public record, he died, tragically, in 1945, and he became legend. In 1998, the Avengers find a body trapped in ice.

She’s alive. Her name is Eve. She has Captain America’s shield.

Bond Has It Covered (66k of perfection. from their interactions to everything - a must read!)

Tony thought they had trouble getting along when they were dealing with a major global crisis. Apparently that had nothing on how they fell apart when they weren’t distracted by smashing aliens.

Resurrection-verse (616 - read it. you just have to. there are so many issues being tackled in this, it’s brilliant)

Doom brings Steve back from the dead. Hijinks ensue, some of which might vaguely be considered plot.

Semaphore (40k + what are you doing if you still haven’t read this?)

“I’m trying to like you, Tony. You’re just making it very hard." - Steve Rogers

Relativistic Heat Conduction (616 - dystopian style, the kind which promises beauty in the wash of destruction)

Ultron has attacked, obliterating most of the world's superheroes and resistance in a matter of hours. The remaining heroes band together and share what strength they have to get through it, to survive, and defeat Ultron once and for all. Steve Rogers grieves in the wake of the disaster and the heroes' defeat, and no one knows if he will be able to provide the leadership they need--but Tony Stark isn't about to let him slip away that easily.

Angst

Lay in The Wake of Destruction (9k + of man i love, love, love this so much i can cry. it’s jumpy in terms of time but i just - i love this so damn much)

In which Steve temporarily loses the plot and goes AWOL, Tony deals with everyone’s shit and neglects to mention to SHIELD that Steve is actually possibly in his bed, AIM soldiers get discombobulated in various nasty ways, Bucky is a good captain and Clint is adamant that he’ll only shoot Steve in the face if Tony tells him to.

Sucker Punch (616 - 20k + of pain. the absolute perfect kind. it’s so unapologetically hurtful i am gone for it. just like the title, it’s a sucker punch alright. it’s my forever reread)

Steve never quite warms to Tony Stark, Avengers benefactor. The Molecule Man never strips Iron Man out of his armor. Life goes on for the Avengers, but as disagreements split the team -- and Shellhead and Winghead-- again and again, Steve wonders why Iron Man always picks Tony over him. And when Steve finds out, it happens in the worst way possible.

Just Because I like Them

i have found the one (whom my soul loves) (13k + of my favourite post MCU-cacw ever. the kind you just crave for on some days.)

It’s been months since the Avengers were pardoned. One by one, they’d all gone home, until Steve finds himself alone in the grand old building T'Challa had given them. But everything changes when Steve answers the doorbell, and Tony Stark strides in with more grey on his temple and make-up on his face than Steve remembers.

Hating Steve Rogers (16k + guide to fall in love with MCU Steve Rogers. what can i say, sometimes i really need this)

The thing about hating Steve Rogers is that it shouldn’t be easy - but it really, really is.

Some Kind of Personal War (part 2/3 of One More troubled Soul - verse which I highly recommend because I A D O R E)

And Tony realizes that working out who the Winter Soldier used to be and who he is now are two entirely different things. (in which Steve is the Winter Soldier)

Someone To Love (47k + of enemies to lover to amnesic-what-do-you-mean-we’re-lover?)

What does it matter that it’d been because of Loki and his damn magic? He’d fallen in love with Steve once. He can do it again.

America Isn't Chicken (616 - 130k + of utter brilliance which i can't believe i f*cking forgot jfc!! Gold. This is GOLD. I love everything about this)

Steve and Tony playing the biggest (bestest) game of gay chicken

#stevetony #stevetony fic rec #stony #superhusbands #steve x tony #steve rogers x tony stark #inkiniris recs #after this is buckytony recs #long post

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harrys-reverie · 5 years ago

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Dog Years // Harry Styles O.U.

Part 3: The Bookstore

a/n: hey everyone! welcome to part 3 of dog years. sorry it took so long on the update -- i just got back to college. i hope you enjoy this chapter!!! i personally consider it harry’s very subtle way of opening up to people (how i’d imagine it) as always like, SHARE, COMMENTS, feedback, all appreciated!!! xoo

STORY PAGE I PART ONE I PART TWO

To be fair I didn’t hear from Jeff or Harry for two whole days. I was starting to feel like they lowkey didn’t want me to be part of their ‘team’ anymore. I couldn’t be bothered even if they didn’t, because at the end of the day I worked for Eve, not them. But at the same time all I could do was sit and recollect about my night with all of them. Everything seemed to go so well, and i really thought they liked me. I liked them.

So since Eve figured my pay was now around the clock, if I wasn’t doing anything that I needed to do be doing something. It was just a bunch of menial tasks like picking up garbage around the premises, scooping up vile dog shit and what not. Honestly, it kind of sucked. I rather be fetching candles and dropping them off to Harry.

But finally it was Sunday and it was my day off. A part of me wanted to go back to my nans house, stop in and say hi. Then I remembered Sunday’s were her brunch and bingo days and she went out with all her cute old lady friends. I was starting to feel extremely lonely.

So I was left to myself in my little cottage. It was pretty relaxing, but all the time cooped up in here was becoming boring and repetitive. And to think I had 4 months left of this. Just sitting in my bed scrolling through shopping sites putting tons of clothes in a cart I’d never get around to purchasing. Even being payed around the clock wasn’t enough to buy a whole new wardrobe.

So yes, I was starting to get a little antsy that I heard nothing from Harry or Jeff. I sneakily biked by Harry’s cottage multiple times to see if he was still there throughout the two days, and his car was still parked in the driveway each time. I hadn’t seen him even around the premises at all doing anything. Or anyone from his group for that matter. I tried to tell myself by the end of the first day that they were all just super hungover. I knew that was a stretch but it eased my mind. Then yesterday rolled around and I had no comforting excuses for why I hadn’t heard from them.

I expressed my worry to Eve and she insisted that they were probably just getting settled. Okay, I’ll take that. That’s got to be it, right?

As I continued to worry in my head about what may have gone wrong I reached for my phone. Nope, no messages. Fuck. This was quickly becoming a bad habit, constantly checking my phone. Bravely I pressed Jeff’s contact, hovering my thumb over the call option. Should I try to reach out? Eh. Sighing, I locked the phone and tossed it to my side. If they needed me, they would act on it. I didn’t want to be a nuisance and bother any of them.

Focusing my attention back on my laptop I popped open a new tab on my Safari browser. I began typing his name, enter and then search.

Instantly an endless amount of brand new and just days old articles displayed across my screen. Harry Styles this, Harry Styles that. There was one recurring theme throughout all of these article titles though, a girls name - Camille.

“Camille Rowe, ex lover of musician Harry Styles states that he’s ‘overly jealous and begged her to stay when they broke up!’ Oh no, poor H. Read more here.”

“Apparently Harry Styles is a Freak in the Sheets! Ex Girlfriend Camille Rowe recollects on her sex life with the pop star in her new book ’Truth Be Told.’”

“Feeling bad about getting cheated on? Don’t feel bad,Harry Styles has been in your shoes too...his ex girlfriend opens up about the mistakes she made that ultimately led to the lyrics of Harry’s sophomore album, Fine Line.”

I couldn’t help but let out a gasp, all this couldn’t be true, could it? I exited out of the tab quickly, afraid to go on and read more of those terrible headlines. I honestly felt bad if all that was true, and if Harry’s ex girlfriend really did that, then I could only imagine how he might be feeling.

I could tell Harry really valued his privacy, why else would he be out here in the middle of nowhere in complete hiding? I thought back to him telling me how he had a disdain for California, I was now beginning to think she had some sort of connection to it. Poor Harry. Almost instantly I was feeling guilty, like I invaded Harry’s privacy by seeing all of those headlines. Imagining what the whole world most think and know of him right now is extremely unsettling. To bring up how he has sex and his most vulnerable moments and just like everyone know about it, it’s beyond fucked up.

Ting.

The world has a funny way of working making connections sometimes. Deep down in my gut I had a feeling it’d be Harry or Jeff who left me a text, it just had to be. Before I even reached my phone I saw the capital H, I knew it was Harry. Of course, he was texting me now, after I saw all that and felt so fucking bad. If he was any other person I’d ask if he wanted to have a nice chat, bring over some ice cream and wine and help him relax.

I wasn’t slow to swipe up on the message and see what he wrote.

‘Hiiiii Colette. Hope you’re well, it’s Harry. Have a huge favor to ask you whenever you get the chance. X”

Hah, he’s acting me for a favor as if I’m not getting paid to help him with whatever he needs. He’s too nice. I didn’t hesitate to start typing back.

‘Hi, Harry! How are you? I’ve been just well! As for the favor...sure anything :)”

Not even five seconds later my phone was vibrating and ringing at the same time, Harry’s name flashing across the screen. Ah, so he’s one of those people who have to make phone calls for everything. My hands felt like jelly as I went to accept the call. Even though we had a great night, him not talking to me for a couple days made me rethink how great that night might’ve actually been. Maybe I was just super tipsy and thought it was amazing when it was just subpar.

“Hello?” I chimed, placing the phone to my ear.

His deep Americanized-British accent greeted me, “Morning Colette!” He sounded extra chirpy this morning.

“Harry! Haven’t heard from you in a while..” I replied nervously.

There was a small pause. “Sorry ‘bout that just keeping busy and what not. I meant to text but, I was so preoccupied I forgot. ‘M sorry, won’t pull something like that again.”

My heart felt like it was being squeezed, my intention was never to make him feel bad but I could sense that I did. I wondered how stressful it was on him always being so kind to everyone, literally everyone. At all times of the day. I had a feeling that most of the time he was putting on an act when deep down he was just having real human problems that he had to keep tucked away.

“Don’t apologize,” I rushed. “It’s fine, seriously. What’s up?”

“A little bit of this, a little bit of that,” He joked. I could hear his soft chuckle from the other line. “Sunday’s.”

“The most relaxing day,” I noted, it was true.

“Relaxing enough where I feel like I should take some time and start a book.”

Oh, fuck. There wasn’t much enthusiasm in his voice anymore. I had a feeling I knew where all of this was heading, and I didn’t like it.

“Any day is a great day to start a book,” I suggested trying to hide my nerves. The universe really was one giant head fuck.

“Actually the favor I was going to ask you,” Harry drawled, a slight tinge of hesitation is his voice. “I really want this specific book.”

Yep, this was his heading right where I thought it would.

“Ooo which one?” I questioned excitedly, like I didn’t know. I was really hoping he’d take me by surprise and say that new Twilight book or something.

“It’s called Truth Be Told. Actually, bet it’s sold out everywhere. Can’t even Amazon fuckin’ Prime it.” He laughed. Maybe he was taking this a lot lighter than I thought...?

“Y’ know what. I don’t need it. Um, do you have any book recs?” Harry rushed.

“If you want that book I’ll go out in town and look for it, but if not I do have some recommendations,” I offered.

“Okay, how ‘bout this? I’ll lend you my car and could you get me that uh, Truth book or whatever and also, get me a book you recommend for me and I have one I recommend for you.”

“You trust me in your car? I just only started to learn to drive on the opposite side of the road,” I admitted with a smile, not like he could see it.

“If ya crash my car, I wouldn’t even try coming back...avoid the wrath of Harry Styles at all costs,” He countered.

“Uh-oh I’m scared,” I fake gasped.

“Hm, should be. I’m not like the papers say, ‘m actually a real diva.”

I was starting to really like this conversation.

“A lot of work, huh?”

“You think you can handle it?”

It’s like I could hear his smirk through the phone. This conversation went really, might I say flirtatious, really fast. I knew it was just his personality and I shouldn’t over think it. But if there is one thing I loved in life, it was a good flirt. And Harry, he was good at it.

I must have been zoned out for a moment because I heard Harry awkwardly clear his throat when I didn’t reply back to his flirtatious line.

“So ‘m gonna pick you up actually. We’ll go back to mine and then you can head off to get those books? Sound good?” He spoke into the line.

“Oh yeah, sure.”

“See ya soon.”

With a click, the call was finished. As much as I wanted to sit back and recollect on what the fuck went down in that call I knew I needed to get out of bed and make myself presentable. He didn’t give me an ETA so I assumed I didn’t have much time on the clock.

I ran to my overflowing duffle, with all the time on my hands I really needed to get around to unpacking it. Was it bad that I wanted to try to look a little more dressed up than just jeans and a tee?

Yep, it was probably bad because I shouldn’t care how I look in front of him.

“Ugh!” I exclaimed, rummaging through all the wrinkled clothing. I settled on black jeans and a black blouse. It looked a bit funeral-esque, I’m hoping it came off as chic. I’d look like a rag doll next to him anyway, the least I could do was try.

He really wanted to go and get his ex girlfriend’s book, huh? I don’t know why he’d want to do that to himself, either way I was going to play dumb as rocks when he gave me the list of the name and author of the book. It’s not entirely an act though, I just read a few headlines. Correction, I just google searched his name and scrolled throw a bunch of headlines about how you have sex and cry — how terrible that would sound if he knew it was true. I will be taking that one to the grave with me.

I swore not even 5 minutes had passed by and the purring of Harry’s engine was already echoing through my house. He was only up the hill after all, but he gave me absolutely zero time to fix myself up. I just had to suck it up and go out there with my frizzy hair and oily skin and tough it out.

But that wasn’t even my biggest concern, my biggest concern was the fact I, a shit driver in the first place, was now being trusted to drive Harry’s extremely fancy Range Rover to a book store of some sorts somewhere. As soon as we traded off the car my plan was to start Google mapping a place and praying that it was close. The quicker I’m in and out of that vehicle, the better.

My phone pinged.

Harry.

“Should’ve gone to the bathroom before I left. Can I come in for a quick wee? X”

I just couldn’t get a break, my bathroom was cluttered with skincare products and dirty clothes piling on the side. I ran to the bathroom swiping up the dirty clothes and tossing them in an empty drawer in the dresser. He’ll just have to excuse all my beauty products, I didn’t want to keep him waiting too long.

“Come in!!!” I texted him back.

The sound of a car door slam was almost instantly followed by a polite knock at my door. Although the cottages were spread far apart I rushed over to the door, not wanting him to stay outside too long, afraid he might get noticed.

I peered through the peephole and was blessed by the handsome looks of Harry. He was tapping his foot against the cobblestone, the hood of his Nike rain jacket pulled over his head completely, while his hair was covered by a black beanie. Even being so covered up he was still so good looking. I opened the door for him, allowing him inside.

“Hi there,” He grinned as I welcomed him in. I’d love to chat but ‘m actually bout to wee my pants. Give me a moment please.”

Harry then fast walked his way over to the bathroom, obviously familiar with the floor plan. He must’ve stayed in one of the smaller cottages before. The smell of his heavenly cologne suffocated the room instantly. I knew I’d still be smelling it lingering in the air even later on tonight.

All the rushing to get ready and let him in, I wasn’t even focused on my stomach which was knotting like crazy. It felt like it could explode from nerves at just any minute. I don’t remember ever feeling this nervous when I had to see him. Granted I’ve only seen him those two times, but I played it off so cool then. I think I was just working myself up over nothing right now.

I heard the sound of running water and momentarily the steps of his shoes making their way back over to me.

“Can we redo the greeting?” He questioned with a big smile.

“Ok..”

“No, ‘m actually just going to pop outside, knock again and everything,” Harry insisted seriously.

“I’ll pretend like you didn’t just rush to the bathroom like a toddler who hasn’t gone to the bathroom all day,” I agreed, going along with his little act.

“Great.”

Harry popped open the front door, shutting it behind him and going back into the hazy morning air, doing a quick spin before making contact with the door once again.

Knock.

I couldn’t help but giggle as I opened up the door for him the second time.

“Morning Colette, how are ya doing on this fine September morning?” Harry asked me extra cheerily, creeping in for a hug. I embraced him back, the scent of his cologne engulfing my senses once again.

“Doing just fine Mr. Styles. Could I offer you some tea?” I asked in a proper tone, putting on my best imitation of a British accent.

Harry rolled his eyes, breaking the act...”That’s the best you got? You’ve only bloody been staying in England for a whole month.”

“Is it that bad?” I asked appalled.

“Terrible.”

“Better luck next time.” I sighed jokingly.

“Don’t even try. I like your voice just how it is naturally, anyway,” He spoke honestly. The second it left his mouth he too looked taken aback at the compliment he had just thrown at me.

“Want to go get those books?” I suggested awkwardly, dismissing his compliment and changing the topic. Back to business.

Harry seemed surprised by how I brushed it off and maybe even a little embarrassed, his finger began fiddling with his bottom lip. I was starting to pick up that was a little thing he did when he was nervous.

“The books. How could I forget,” He replied dully.

“If i’m being honest I don’t even know where a book store is around here,” I huffed.

“I do,” He smirked.

“Well that’s no help considering I’m going by myself,” I rolled my eyes back at him playfully.

Harry was leaning his body weight on the wooden table by the entrance, a huge smirk painted on his face.

“Guess you’re outta luck then.”

“Would it be bad if I asked for you to come with and guide me?” I asked bravely. I was taking myself by surprise with how upfront I was being towards him. It was just so hard not to be when he was just so normal.

His face dropped a little. I couldn’t tell what sort of reaction he was feeling towards my question but he looked upset. I instantly regretted it because I know my request was about to be rejected.

“As much as I’d love to...” Harry began. “I can’t.”

“Stupid of me to ask,” I replied casually brushing it off. I wanted to change the topic.

“No, it’s not. Maybe I’m better off ordering books online, anyways.”

“I mean, I could still, go get it for you. Something to do.”

Harry brushed it off, shoving his hands in his sweat pockets. “Nope, don’t want you to anymore..the ratings weren’t even that good.”

Oh wow, Harry has some pettiness in him. I couldn’t blame him though. I think anybody else would feel the same way. I wanted to just reach out and tell him I knew why he wanted that book, and that it’s not even worth a bother. I really felt for him. I too had a bad ex, as we typically all do. I can’t say it was as bad as Harry’s past relationship, but mine was bad in it’s own unique way.

“Fuck it.” He mumbled before turning his gaze back towards me. “Let’s go get them books.”

I was surprised, “Really?”

“I hate to do this and act like a macho pop star but ‘m really gonna have to go incognito. Can’t even step out the car with ya unfortunately, but I’ll drive us.”

My heart warmed at his offer, I knew he was probably going against what his strict hiding rules were in order to go through with this. If he was just driving a heavily tinted car though, was there still a way for paparazzi to notice him? I was excited, I think he could tell because he let out a small giggle, shaking his head.

“Let’s hit the road then!” I exclaimed.

“After you,” He grinned, holding the door open in front of me and leading me to his car.

_________________

The ride with Harry was going well. He had a incognito get up of sunglasses, a beanie and his hood up, making sure there was no way someone could detect it was him. His car smelled like fresh leather and mint, there was an abundance of chewing gum packets stashed in the front compartment of his car along with miscellaneous receipts. Lucky for the both of us, the roads were almost completely clear and there was no traffic heading into town.

Harry was just as attractive looking while driving as I thought he would be. To be fair there was something so enticing about having any guy drive all manly and taking control. But especially Harry driving was a beautiful sight to see. The background music of the radio was humming in the background as the two of us chatted along casually.

“How are you going to recommend me a book if you can’t even come in?” I questioned him.

He turned to me, “Who said I’m not coming in?”

“You did!”

“Might just be your lucky day then,” He smirked. “Do you have a good recommendation in mind for me? Shall we surprise one another?”

I nodded my head, “Sounds like a plan.”

“No soppy romantic books, please,” He scoffed.

“But those are my favorites!”

“Don’t care. I’ve probably read all the best of them anyways,” Harry argued back, a huge smirk painted on his face.

Deep down I knew already which book I was going to pick out for him if it was there. I didn’t care if it was a romantic one or not because I had a feeling he hadn’t read it yet and I had an ever greater feeling that he’d fall in love with it.

The two of us went back and forth chatting to each other another until we began to reach a cobblestone path that led to a small selection of shops. The plaza was secluded and had just a few small buildings overgrown with ivy unevenly placed amongst one another. I’d say there was a max of 5 or 6 cars in the whole parking lot. To be fair, we were pretty far out of town I’d say we had been driving for at least 20 minutes.

“You ready?” He questioned. I could tell there was a hint of nerves in his voice. He was awkwardly fiddling with his wallet and pushing his hood down. He was now just left with his oversized black beanies and sunglasses as his ‘disguise.’

“Are you sure you want to do this? You don’t have to,” I insisted earnestly. I didn’t want to push him to be in a situation that could get messy really quick.

“I’ll be fine here,” Harry reasoned, turning his gaze to the entrance of a little shop by the name of ‘Greg’s Books and More.’

“If anything goes bad, it wasn’t my fault!”

I didn’t want to be responsible for anything that might ensue, after all Harry was the one who insisted to walk in the shop with me. I had a good feeling that we’d be set though, there was literally nobody around and we were far from any major city with large amounts of people.

The two of us hopped out simultaneously shutting the car doors together. Walking side by side with him in the bright daylight made me more aware of the height difference between us, one I had barely ever noticed before. His single strides were equivalent to almost double mine and his shoulders were just a slight amount higher than my eye level.

“Good morning!” A sweet old man, short and stout greeted us from behind a counter of the shop. Harry and I both waved back.

“Morning sir, how are ya doing today?” Harry asked kindly, stopping short to stand and talk to the man.

“Just having a cuppa, enjoying the Sunday,” The man replied. “Let me know if you two kids have any questions.”

I shot the man another small smile before turning to Harry. “May the best book picker win?” I joked.

“You’ve got 10 minutes.”

“1...2..” I began counting down, but before I could even reach the number three, Harry was already rushing to the rows of books, an agenda already on his mind. He seemed so confident in what he was going to pick that I soon began to re think what I was going to choose for his book.

I hurriedly rushed to the other side of the bookstore, scanning the shelves with my eyes. The shop was small and I could hear Harry rummaging through shelves on the opppsite side. I had 10 minutes to find the book I had in mind, something I loved that I wanted to pass on to Harry.

The thought of trading off books to someone who a very intimate gesture, an invitation to be apart of another’s brain. I still couldn’t believe I was here right now with Harry Styles, a now friend, spending my Sunday out and about the town. I knew it was my day off but I knew when I arrived back to my cottage I’d want to inform Eve.

As my eyes panned over the endless covers and names of authors and titles a familiar bright blue and green cover popped up. Ah, I knew what this was. Before I had even fully removed it from the shelf, the yellow cursive script was already showing.

Love is a Mix Tape.

Given his career in music I knew right away this would be the perfect book for him. I had read it months ago, but the impact it left on me remained the same. A story not specifically circled around romance, but hints at the struggles of love and loss. It was funny and a joy to read.

I looked over the book making sure there were no imperfections, torn pages or bent covers. Luckily there was none, I angled it to my side hiding it just in case he’d pop out of of nowhere.

Walking up to the cash register there was no sign of him, he was probably still amongst the jungle of books so I took this as my invitation to check out.

“Hi,” I chirped to the old man who sat behind the desk, his glasses almost falling off his face as he read through the book in front of him.

“Hello there love, you all set?” He asked, walking over to the vintage-like cash register.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” I put the book down between us already beginning to reach in my purse for my wallet. I really hoped Harry hasn’t read this one yet.

“Can I just give you money to cover both my book and the other customers? Like, pass it on..” I spoke handing the man almost triple the amount of my single book. He looked at me inquisitively and then began to smile.

“I’m sure that young man will appreciate it,” He smiles, a glimmer of knowingness in his eyes. I knew the gesture was small and i knew money was not a problem for him but I had such an urge to just do it anyways.

I thanked the man as he wrapped up the book and placed it in a brown paper bag, graciously taking it from him. Harry was still amongst the jungle of shelves and I didn’t want to prowl or cause attention so I decided to wait outside the store. The air was fresh and crisp, the sound of chirping birds and whistling trees engulfed my senses. I’m almost sure Harry had reached his 10 minute mark, but I wasn’t going to rush him. I had a feeling it was a rare occurrence for him to be able to aimlessly shop around, crowd free.

“Ya ready?” His voice erupted behind me, the bell of the door pinging in the quiet air. I turned to face him, his paper bag tucked underneath his arm.

“Not really,” I joked, it wasn’t a complete lie though. I wouldn’t mind shopping around with him in little hideaways all day. Harry caught up to me and we began the short walk back to his car in quiet. As my hand began to reach the handle he quickly swooped in front of me, opening it himself. I looked at him with a stupid look on my face, in awe of a gentleman.

“Oh thanks,” I spoke sheepishly.

“My pleasure.”

I hopped in and moments later Harry was back in the drivers seat beside me pressing the car on and pumping up the heat.

“Thanks, by the way.” He gestured to the paper bag.

“Oh, not a problem at all! Random acts of kindness or whatever,” I brushed it off.

“Not used to someone covering the bill,” He admitted. “Not like that type of stuff matters to me.”

“Well don’t even worry about it.”

“I’ll get you back next time,” He noted.

Next time. So there’s going to be a next time? A next time of us going to the book store? A next time of us hanging out? A next time of what?

“Should we swap these books or what?” I questioned, changing the topic once again.

“So eager, huh?” Harry laughed.

“Well we’re just sitting here in a empty parking lot, you have any other suggestions?”

“You’re right,” He quipped. “Here you are then.”

The two of us exchanged the bags. He lifted it to his ear, shaking it as if it was a surprise gift and he was trying to guess what it could be.

“Just get on with it!” I exclaimed.

“Hush, hush.” He began opening it, very carefully, soon revealing the book I had chosen for him.

“Lucky for you, I’ve never read this. Thank you,” He seemed very grateful as he looked over the front cover, going back and forth between the pages quickly. “I’m excited.”

“Thank God,” I huffed. “I was nervous you’d have read it before.”

“Nope, never. You did good,” Harry compliments, his eyes falling back to my unopened bag in my hands. “Now it’s your turn.”

Oh, yeah.

“I hate when people watch me open stuff,” I admitted. My hand was toying with the bag as I looked at him nervously. I didn’t like people watching me because I was afraid that I wouldn’t give off the right reaction to whatever they may have given me. It was too much pressure, and especially Harry watching me so intently it made me nervous.

“Want me to turn away?” He offered earnestly. “I know people like that, my sister.”

“Maybe just like causally look out the car or whatever.”

Immediately he began fiddling with his windshield wipers, intently focusing on them as if they were some sort of puzzle. I wanted to tell him not to use them when it wasn’t raining and it’d damage the car, but I’m sure he knew that. I took that as my queue to quickly unpack-age the book, afraid he might cause damage.

When I opened it up it revealed not one but two books. The one on top made my heart sink, I recognized the title right away. It was his ex girlfriends book. Why would he give this one to me? Should I act like I know what it is and what it’s about? No. Play dumb. Underneath it though, was a book by the name of ‘Betting On The Muse’ by Charles Bakowski. Ah, poetry.

“You done yet slowpoke?” Harry interrupted my thoughts, the two books sat between my lap.

“You can look,” I complied. “Are they both for me?”

“Yes,” He replied simply. “But, I have some stipulations.”

“This wasn’t a part of the deal.”

“I would like if you read the Bukowski book first. It’s poems, I want you to read them and guess which one is my favorite when you’re finished,” He instructed sweetly. Although there was direction in his tone, it came off so kind. “As for the other one..” He paused and then let out a huff.

“I don’t even want you to touch it,” He continued. “Don’t look it up, reviews, synopsis...anything.”

“Okay,” I agreed. I was confused but I didn’t want to let that on.

“One day, if I give you the ‘ok’ I want you to read it. If you want. You don’t have to listen to me by any means, but yeah,” He finished awkwardly.

“So just hold onto it?” I asked, holding up the Truth Be Told book. His eyes glimpsed down to it before quickly shooting back up to meet my gaze. The cover was what I was assuming to be her, his ex. Her hair was messy, lips full, topless with her arms covering her breasts in shades of black and white.

“Yeah, just hold on to it,” He stated.

“You’ve got my word,” I smiled. I could feel the tension in the car and I didn’t want it anymore. This was supposed to be a lighthearted excursion and I wanted to keep it that way.

“Great, well thank you for the books. I’ll start mine right away,” Harry began as he started the car once again. “You ready to take back off?”

I nodded watching him look over the book I had gotten him one last time. He smiled at it before turning to smile towards me. I smiled back. He then brought his hand to the radio, clicked a few things on his iPhone and then turned the notch up loudly. As he began to pull out of the cobblestone parking lot, the beautiful sound of his voice filled the car. This time it was in song.

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rigelmejo · 4 years ago

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February Progress Update, March Goals:

(Updated as it’s now the end of the month) How February went:

Chinese novel chapters read in February (so far): 27 (a huge amount! Last month’s was 8. This month - 4 were Guardian, the rest are 寒舍)

Chapters I studied with Listening-Reading Method: 2 (Catch me barely doing L-R and just reading Guardian instead...)

Chinese shows watched: 6. (I expected this number to shoot up and I was right! Word of Honor - tian ya ke adaptation - is airing and I am watching the raws first then the English subs as they release. I’m also maybe going to start Anti Fraud League since I finally finished ep 1. YouTube recommended me another Zhen zhehan drama - he plays Zhou Zishu in woh. It’s called Demon Girl and I’d had it in my list to practice anyway with when I got bored since it’s set 1920-1940s, one of my fave drama settings, featuring a demon heroine in which demons are like mutants who live among us. Which happens to be my LITERAL favorite story setup - mutants/monsters/etc sci fi or supernatural setup in which the story uses it to tell fantastical tales while also commenting on real social issues. Some stories do it better than others - In The Flesh and Bureau of Transformer do excellently, Love and Redemption and Guardian do some fascinating stuff with it, Heroes touches on it only a little compared to Xmen which is known for it, and Merlin often failed to commit to a strong message. But regardless - if a story has this Setup I will ultimately wanna see. So that show definirely has 3 selling points now: my Fave story setup, a heroine as the lead, and an actor I like as the other lead. I also found Mystic Nine and LORD Critical World in HD on a chinese site so I’m very tempted to just watch them in chinese only since it’s more convienient then the english sub links I have for the shows. An interesting update: trying to watch a show this month was easier than in the past - last month I could barely watch Any shows, and before that I distinctly remember shows being harder to catch the details. I watched Anti Fraud League ep 1 fully this month and caught all details roughly without pausing - and like 3 sentences of exposition on main character Mi Huo I paused and replayed the scene just to catch all the chinese subtitles and clarify I understood correctly. I think I got about 90% of the details - because I was a little vague on some word meanings and just guessed on those. And grasped 100% of the overall plot. which is well beyond where I was at month 10-11ish last time I tried watching shows. Also yay! A detective show felt as easy as watching a fluff romance which is so great, because I like this genre much more! Although I am going to give a grateful shout out to Granting You A Dreamlike Life because... while the shows first 15 eps I did watch are Not My Thing, I watched it like 8+ months into learning and it was both a challenge and easy enough TO watch and keep watching. Which made it great for improving. I really think it helped a lot. And I also think... at this point I probably could rewatch guardian without eng subs and be fine. When I watch shan he ling today I guess I’ll find out if I can handle a wuxia plot though without eng subs lol)

Japanese Audio listened to: 14 (no change, this is since start of year)

Personal books read: 11 (since 2021 started - so 6 books in February. I have been reading SO MUCH lately, I’m really excited? I’ve been meaning to read so many of my books I just hadn’t gotten around to it. This is also likely to increase as I’m about to finish dmbj 2 next time I pick it up).

Some other things:

@a-whump-muffin u inspired me and sometime soon I will be trying to play KH in japanese again, and looking at ur super amazing grammar guide u made ToT (I might try nier automata if its bearable just because I’m playing all the drakengard/nier games right now but... the language is a lot more sci fi so i’m not sure that’d go well... also i want to check if my final fantasy type-0 has japanese language settings...). But like... I am definitely up for looking at a grammar guide, and looking up words on my phone as I play. Now that’s a study method i could DO maybe ToT and also like!!! ultimately i want to do it anyway!!! i just figured it would be drowning and chickened out! but like. to study doing what u wanted to do anyway in the language??!!! wowwww ;-; i mean that’s basically why i’m reading chinese but u get the idea

Other japanese updates: I’m still listening to quickleur I just haven’t done any listening lately (u can tell by the L-R status above lol). It did help a lot though even the bits I listened to, as far as refreshing my mind on particles and verb endings. And the explanation on sentence structures u gave @a-whump-muffin !! (who is god tier if ur studying japanese they are <3 <3 )

Part of the ‘personal books read’ goal - I’m counting any textbooks I read in that category, in the hopes if I frame it in my head as reading for personal interest instead of studying, I will do it. Ideally I would LIKE to read my DeFrancis Chinese books, Chinese Nature Method grammar book, Chinese Sentence Patterns book, 2 books I just ordered, my japanese reading books (the 1st one a good refresher the 2nd one literally could be... my textbook for years its got so much). Those chinese books in part because WOW I am so used to so much grammar in context when reading, but when I go to produce language I’m a hot MESS. And I think just like... I really should read those books and fill in the gaps in my understanding and like solidify the correct understanding of what I can comprehend. Sometime.... I ALSO should read my Alan Hoenig chinese characters book. But will I???? AHA. I forgot to mention in my last reading post - but brute forcing learning the hanzi has been going fine actually. I was concerned just looking up hanzi when reading, that I would struggle to learn the new ones. But I can confirm that reading has gotten easier, and I’ve picked up a LOT of hanzi I was previously brute force looking up repeatedly while reading. So like... as long as this keeps working, I’ll keep doing it. I’m very lazy and the path with least resistance and mental exhaustion is what I’ll keep doing, if it works, even if it might be slower. (Although I do think the hanzi books I have are very useful and have helped me speed up progress when I used them).

I learned how to make gifs this month and I’m overwhelmed with all the stuff I could try to do? Idk its very cool i’m very excited about it.

Goals for March:

Basically, we’re sticking to the quite steady study plan I’ve had the past few months, which has boiled down to: read chinese, L-R, listen/watch if desired, do something listening related in japanese if desired. It’s not well rounded or anything but I’m making steady progress and its easy to keep doing.

Anything in bold is what I’m doing right now/likely to do (although we know how often I just derail).

Read chinese novels. (This can include Guardian. Currently includes: hanshe, guardian. On hiatus: Tian Ya Ke).

Listen-Read Guardian. (Reading guardian in Any way is the priority so if this happens yay, but if it doesn’t I’ll be happy if I’m still working through guardian and just postponing the listening part).

Optional. Play video game in japanese, use a dictionary and grammar guide when confused af. This one’s imminently likely just because the instant I get Nier remastered I’m playing it, and also playing Nier Automata etc games, so like... the opportunity and desire to play the japanese versions of games I want to do that with WILL hit me.

Optional. Watch chinese shows. This one’s also likely because a priest novel drama adaptation just dropped (Word of Honor, shan he ling, tian ya ke/Faraway Wanderer’s adaptation) and I don’t want to wait for the english subs.

Optional - unlikely (I’m not in the mood to listen to stuff lol). Audios. Keep listening to Japanese Quicksleur when there’s down time (like playing games), and Chinese Spoonfed audio if I feel like it.

Personal. Keep reading while I’ve got the motivation to. I am really enjoying getting through all these books I’ve wanted to read for so long.

BELOW I will eventually link a list of story recs (also see tag rec list for more):

Poyun 破云 (recced)

Poyun 破云 2

一级律师 by 木苏里 (recced)

盗墓笔记 series

默读 by priest

他们的故事 by 一根黄瓜丝儿

寒舍 by 夏灬安兰 pingxie supernatural au

818 (pingxie)

鎮魂 by priest (chapter 4)

天涯客 by priest

Qi Ye 七爷 by priest

六爻 by priest

FGEP

犹记斐然 foxghost rec

一受封疆 foxghost rec

女主大人我错 gl

将军府小妾生存报告 gl

夜半衣寒 by 夏灬安兰 pingxie (can u tell i like this author)

(瓶邪同人)所谓一切发生在网配+番外 (writer and radio voicer pingxie au)

死亡万花筒 kaleidoscope of death

将军府小妾生存报告

女主大人，我错了

魔女霓裳

公主饶命 GL

民政局领到了媳妇

In progressing difficulty, books I want to read and should be ready to read now, a la foxghost’s recommendations:

那些風花雪月 by Gong Zi Huan Xi (took 14 months of study before I tried to read this, did try, did not click with me lol)

不正當關係 by Gong Zi Huan Xi (foxghost said this was the same difficulty as the story above, so I’m probably ready for this one too).

*SCI 谜案集 by ErYa (I’ve heard this somewhat easy to read, is a good story, and since its case-centered I think it would be a good intro to later reading books like Silent Reading by Priest)

龍圖案卷集 by ErYa (There is an audiobook on Ximalaya!)

黑風城戰記 by ErYa (sequel to novel above)

Then the recommendation says you should probably watch a lot of shows for some vocab (I sort of do so I’ll see how that helps me out), and you can start tackling xianxia, like Priest’s “六爻, and then 鎮魂, then 殺破狼, and pretty much any other of GZHX’s works.” I would guess this point is when Tian Ya Ke would be more my reading level, when 六爻 is, at the beginning. I would guess after 鎮魂 is when I could try to tackle Can Ci Pin. Sha Po Lang is steampunk and fantasy, so I would guess it has some of the sci fi type words - so if I’d be ready for that, I might be ready for Can Ci Pin at the same time.

#march goals #march study plan #february goals #study plan #february progress #rec list #march

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redisriding · 5 years ago

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Reading Schedule

{UPDATED 11 October 2020}

I thought I would share in case anyone is looking for book recommendations, has recommendations, wants to read along, or chat about books.

September

Serpent & Dove - [READ] I really adored this book the first time around, and while wouldn’t say I enjoyed it AS much on the second read, I would still absolutely recommend it to anyone who loves an enemies to lovers troupe. Overall, I’m glad I did reread it ahead of the sequel release because I had completely forgotten what happened in the end!

Blood & Honey - [READ] This book actually ended up being something of a struggle for me. It wasn’t as good as the first by any means and even the cliff hanger at the end was not enticing enough for me to want to read the third. If you have to ask me though, I think the ending is foreshadowed from the first book and both Lou and Reid are going to die but the book will end on a hopeful note.

The Flat Share - [READ] This was a very sweet romantic comedy and I would recommend it if someone is looking for a cute “AND THEY WERE ROOMATES!” read.

Your Dad Will Do - [READ] After reading two very tame (romantically) books, I wanted something that was a bit more raunchy and OMG have I got that with this book. It is absolute FILTH from the first page. There are a number of typos and a couple of problematic elements but if you are looking for a quick read that is going to get those loins a burning, this is the book!

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo - [READ] This book was recommended to me by a friend. Its a little off piste from what I usually read but if you want a truly lovely read I would highly recommend.

October

A Promise of Darkness - [Read] This was recommended to me as a book that fans of SJM/ACOTAR would enjoy. In some respects I can see why. A young woman is “kidnapped” by a supposedly evil Prince who actually turns out to be a good guy saving the world, there is magic and Fay, and the Prince’s “inner circle” are a band of colourful characters. However, not only did it lack all of the heart of an SJM book, but the writing was weak, the story very muddled, and even the romance was lacking. I believe there are two more books in this series but I’m tapping out after book one as I care neither about the characters or the story.

The Unleashing - [DNF] In an attempt to recover from the disappointment that was A Promise of Darkness I picked up the Unleashing, which is a book that I had been wanting to read for sometime. I rarely DNF a book but after getting almost of quarter of a way into the book I just couldn’t read anymore - Every page appeared to introduced a new character, there were numerous irrelevant side plots, the female character was particularly frustrating and un-endearing, and even the romance was weak. I am a sucker from a grumpy but shy hero but even Vig wasn’t enough to keep me reading this book. I did listen to the Heaving Bosoms podcast recap of this book and I’m still none the wiser as to what happened.

Gifting Me to His Best Friend - [READ] This is from the same author and in the same series as Your Dad Will Do so I knew I was in for a steamy read when I picked this book up, what I was not expecting was how surprisingly sweet it was. This novella is just a weekend in their lives, but I would totally read more about these characters. Devoured it in an afternoon.

After the Silence - [READING] I have seen a lot of promotion of Louise O’Neil’s latest offering. I happened to see it when I was browsing in a different bookshop to usual last weekend and so decided to give it a go. It has been a long time since I’ve read a crime/thriller and I might need to read something fluffy alongside it, but we’ll see how dark it is.

Ninth House - I have been waiting to read this book for ages as I love Leigh Bardugo (Six of Crows is PERFECTION). I went to buy it a few weeks ago but my local Indie told me I was better off waiting until the paperback comes out as it will be cheaper. I have placed my order for the paperback and it is due to arrive on 20 October.

Burn for Me - I had intended to start this series while I waited for A Promise of Darkness to arrive, but I never got around to it. It is still on my read list, so I plan to getting around to it sometime soon.

November

WATCH THIS SPACE.

December

I had planned to start my ACOTAR reread in December but with the change of date meaning ACOSF is now due to come out mid February I’m going to push my reread into the New Year.

WATCH THIS SPACE.

January

A Court of Thorns and Roses/A Court of Wings and Ruin/A Court of Mist and Fury/A Court of Frost and Starlight - By January it will have been more than a year since I last read ACOTAR, I want to do a reread ahead of the release of A Court of Silver Flames so the series is fresh in my mind. I spend so much time in Tumblr I almost forgot what is on the very page and what is comments/criticisms from the fandom! I don’t know how long a total reread will take me but I’ve put aside a month. I plan to post a lot about it though, if anyone would like to read along with me :)

February

A Court of Silver Flames - HOOK IT TO MY VEINS.

will update this post as I go with what I’m reading. I am trying to get through my “Want to Read” books on GoodReads so the gaps will either be filled in with choices from there, or books that were recommended in these two @smartbitchesbooks podcasts:

https://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/podcast/414-listener-mail-and-fantasy-romance-recs-with-amanda/

https://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/podcast/418-romance-recs-with-amanda-and-sarah-psychic-pining/

#Book Recommendations #reading recommendations #updated

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gameofdrarry · 4 years ago

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Wizards Hearts Recs: Cursed Object(s)

Wizards Hearts was a four-month-long Drarry reading fest. Players were given a playing deck of 52 tropes, and were asked to find 52 different fics to read and comment on to fill their decks. To prevent the same few fics from being read, fics were restricted to only being used for the game three times before being considered ineligible for further points. The tropes and submissions list can be found here.

Check out the masterlist of fics for this trope below the cut!

📜 Misdirection by lea_anberlyn Rated: Teen and Up Words: 3764 Tags: Humor, Snarky!Malfoy, Epistolary Summary: Harry buys a new owl after the war – a bird he soon realises is cursed to send letters to the person he hates most. Draco Malfoy finds the whole thing hilarious. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 your heart'll race, hard to sleep by orphan_account Rated: Explicit Words: 3897 Tags: Insomnia, Curse Breaking, grumpy Draco, Humour, please think I'm funny, Blow Jobs, I have no chill and can't take things slow apparently Summary: Draco's bed is cursed. Don't ask him about it. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Sucker by BasiliskCur, lefthandofglory Rated: Explicit Words: 117917 Tags: Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Bottom Harry, Bottom Draco, Dubious Consent, Top Harry, Top Draco Malfoy, Twincest, Sharing a Bed, Contracts, Semi-Public Sex, Negotiations, Service, First Time, Masturbation, Dirty Talk, Brief instance of suicidal behavior, Smut, Eventual Angst with an even more Eventual Happy Ending, Because it's all fun and magic sex contracts until two former enemies, with a shit ton of emotional baggage, fall in love Summary: Fred and George have discovered there used to be a dedicated cocksucker for each dorm. Now there's an interesting tradition that Hogwarts: A History somehow forgot to mention. Anyway. The twins. A magic sex contract. What's the worry? Poor Harry. He's killed Voldemort and is back at Hogwarts studying for NEWTs but he's still got to learn the two most important lessons of his life: 1. How to suck cock. 2. Always read the fine print. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 In Love With the Ferret by Pineau_noir Rated: Explicit Words: 21936 Tags: Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Humor, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Awkward Flirting, Hurt/Comfort, But Mostly Comfort, Bellatrix isn't in the fic but her legacy lives on, Cursed objects, blink and you'll miss it case fic, so many songs from the '00s, Pining, Bad Puns, they all work at the ministry, Redeemed Draco Malfoy, a little girl gets cursed, but she's fine by the time Harry and Draco are called to the scene, NOTHING IS GRAPHIC, Song fic, because Draco loves Muggle music, Banter, giggly sex, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Harry mentions the time Luna gave him organic tea that got him high one time, Bottom Harry Potter, Top Draco Malfoy, sex magic because let's be honest, who wouldn't want to clean up with magic, oh yeah and there's scene where Harry's in the shower, wanking, If that's your thing - Freeform, Domestic Fluff, domestic drarry, SO, Domestic, Set in 2008, So book canon timeline, H/D Wireless 2020 Summary: Harry has never been the most observant bloke. Sometimes to the point of him not realising his feelings for a particular pointy, pale git. And it's not his fault if literally everyone else knows about said feelings except for Harry and the git in question. So it's really not his fault, when faced with the scope of his feelings, he suddenly has a hard time talking to one Draco Malfoy. Or looking him in the eye. Or not being a total weirdo around him. There's nothing to do but take the advice of his friends and try to woo Draco over dinners with friends, Ministry cases, and an unfortunately named Italian restaurant. Harry just can't stop the flutter in his chest when he sees Draco smile. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 slipping through the cracks (of your cold embrace) by swisstae Rated: Mature Words: 14406 Tags: Auror Draco Malfoy, Auror Harry Potter, Auror Partners, Established Relationship, Nightmares, Memory Magic, Cursed objects, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Therapy, Soft sex, Anal Sex, Misunderstandings, Arguments, nightmares being lived out, Heavy Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Feels, all the angst basically, Hopeful Ending, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, H/D Hurt!Fest 2020, Sectumsempra Scene | Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter's Duel in the Bathroom, Self Loathing Draco Malfoy, Spoilery Warning in End Notes, okay so this is just two silly bois who need to have a grown up conversation, considering they ARE grown-ups in this fic, cathartic crying can be found here Summary: Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter. Archenemies at school, on opposite sides of the war that tore the Wizarding world in half -- and yet, lovers who overcame all odds to be together. That's where it all starts. And maybe, that's where it all ends. (in which Draco finds a cursed object, shit goes down, and everyone needs to talk about Feelings.) ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Gossip Boys by mypetelephant Rated: Explicit Words: 24093 Tags: N/A Summary: Confiscated Dark objects have been disappearing from the Ministry, and journalist Harry Potter is on the case. Unfortunately, he has to drag along Draco Malfoy, gossip columnist extraordinaire, whose subject of choice is everyone's favorite desultory hero. Forced to contend with cursed objects, international smugglers, and a lesson on the value of gossip, all Harry wants is to put out a respectable article. Oh, and to forget a night that only Draco knows and will never write about. Written for HD Career Fair 2012. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Paws of Fury by Veritas03 Rated: Explicit Words: 87190 Tags: Male Slash, kitten fic, Mystery, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Complete Summary: "Bellow, bluster… your rage is insignificant. No more than the mewing of a kitten. Do not be afraid. He will save you. Calm you. Love you." Harry has a furry little problem – but Draco’s scent soothes the savage beastie. Will Draco be able to save him when Harry’s world begins to crumble? Bubbles, blowjobs, mystery – and something rotten in the place of Grimmauld. Yes, yes - it's a Kitten!Harry fic. I know what you’re thinking - but it was there and I had to get it out of my system. Give it a chance. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Love It or List It by bangyababy Rated: Explicit Words: 13767 Tags: Grimmauld Place, Renovations, Fuck Or Die, Forced Proximity, bed sharing, Top Draco Malfoy, Bottom Harry Potter, Praise Kink, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Angst, Feelings, carefree Draco Malfoy, Slow Burn, A Time Skip Summary: Draco Malfoy has been mysteriously hired to renovate Grimmauld Place. Harry Potter has nothing better to do since leaving the Aurors. Throw in an ancient ceremonial vase, a neglected (and magical house), loneliness, and you've got the beginnings of a beautiful relationship. That is if they (or the house) don't kill each other first. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Out of the Woods by Janieohio Rated: Teen and Up Words: 34987 Tags: Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post-Hogwarts, POV Alternating, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Background Relationships, supportive friends, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Redeemed Draco Malfoy, Mind Healer Harry Potter, Shop Owner Draco Malfoy, Draco Malfoy in the Muggle World, Harry Potter Raises Teddy Lupin, Sassy Harry Potter, Sarcastic Draco Malfoy, Minor Violence, Minor Injuries, Mystery, Adventure, Adventure & Romance, Cute Teddy Lupin, Misunderstandings, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Explicit Language, Yoga, Into the Woods References, Therapy, Custody Issues, Minor Character Death, Minor Character Engagement, Dismissive Attitudes about Mental Illness, Childhood Trauma, Fae & Fairies, Brothers Grimm, Fairy Tale Elements - see notes for more details, H/D Erised 2020, Harry Potter Has Long Hair, Kid Fic, Minor Ginny Weasley/Blaise Zabini, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Minor Neville Longbottom/Hannah Abbott/Luna Lovegood, Background Polyamory, Past Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Past Draco Malfoy/Original Male Characters Summary: Teddy closes his eyes, wishing beyond wishes that the two men in his life whom he loves more than anyone would just learn to get along. A light flares. Teddy cries out, and the room falls silent. Harry and Draco struggle to find a way to escape a world of dark fairy tales and get back to Teddy, but the challenges they face are not all hidden in the woods. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Under the Bludgeonings of Chance by spookywoods Rated: Mature Words: 45130 Tags: Case Fic, Aurors, Scotland, Department of Mysteries, Kneazles, Not Epilogue Compliant, Herbology, Greek Mythology - Freeform, Kissing, Pining, Angst, Murder Mystery, Kidnapping, Cockblocking Ficus Summary: After eight months on his first undercover mission, Harry suddenly finds himself caught up in a bizarre mix of events revolving around a red kneazle, the murder of a rich Pureblood, and an unapologetic, acrobatic Draco Malfoy. Featuring Greek Curses, out of season Christmas Jumpers, and Gilderoy Lockhart's sister (or is it?). ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Before the World Was Made by daftfear Rated: Teen and Up Words: 42976 Tags: EWE, magical bonding, Language Summary: Draco has done everything in his power to leave the past behind him. He’s established himself a successful business and built a reputation around the quality of his work and the breadth of his knowledge. But when aurors show up at his shop one afternoon, seeking his expertise on a peculiar item of questionable origins, they completely overthrow the precarious balance in Draco’s life. Trust Potter to bring danger and destruction in his wake, along with a painful reminder of all the things Draco is trying to forget. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Want a Whole Lotta Love by musiclily88 Rated: Not Rated Words: 1762 Tags: Quarantine, Cursed Object, draco is a researcher of cursed objects, Harry is an Auror, This is very niche Summary: Cursed objects and quarantine ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 The Slytherin Urn by ICMezzo Rated: Explicit Words: 4652 Tags: magic kink, Spell-Casting kink, Sexual Fantasy, Redemption, Unspeakable Draco, Auror Harry Summary: Nothing turns Harry on quite like redemption. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 An Auror, A Curse Breaker and a Tea Pot by dracogotgame Rated: General Words: 1572 Tags: Aurors, Curse Breaking, Humour, Fluff, Oneshot, Creatures, injuries Summary: Harry fights a teapot and loses. At least it gets better from there. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Impervius by ravenclawsquill Rated: Explicit Words: 10997 Tags: Humor, Bickering, Case Fic, Forced Proximity, Romance, Drizzle - Freeform, Banter, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Explicit Sexual Content, Curse Breaker Draco Malfoy, Auror Harry Potter, Pink Umbrella - Freeform, Wet Clothing, Competence Kink, pub, Flirting, Hideous Decor, Rain, Kissing in the Rain, Bottom Draco, Top Harry, Rimming, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Begging, Disastrous Transfiguration Summary: Harry and Draco are working together on a case in the beautiful English Lake District. Or, it would be beautiful if only it would stop raining. Fortunately, Harry has an umbrella. Unfortunately, it's pink and frilly, and Draco would rather die than share it with him. Featuring a cursed cave, endless bickering and a pesky flock of sheep. ❤️ Read on AO3

#game of drarry #drarry #drarry recs #wizards hearts #wh masterlist

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bytheangell · 5 years ago

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It’s Friday again, how does this keep happening? Happy Friday, friends!

I think I’m re-evaluating some life goals rightnow. Instead of trying to find the ~perfect full time job to replace my old one with, I’m shifting gears to a decent part-time gig to keep earning a bit of money instead of just relying on savings for another month or two, and really string out how long I can keep this extra free time, and really use it to work on writing these original stories. But with a more strict schedule I actually stick to. I’ve wanted to write a proper novel ever since I was a kid and life is too short to not do everything I can to realize that one solid goal I have, y’know?

Of course, I’m still writing plenty of fic in-between! I have the Immortal Alec & Andrew fic mostly finished and still set for weekly updates until that’s done, and Dreaming Wide Awake needs a bit of ending planning but that’s probably going to wrap-up shortly as well. And a never-ending list of personal prompts, and discord servers full of prompts, and of course anything I might get here! As much as I want to focus on writing that original story I get way too much joy from fanfiction to put it on pause, I’m just going to have to time manage and multitask a bit more instead ;) Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere!

I’m also slowly but surely chugging away through The Shadowhunter Chronicles for my re-read! I was struck with the sudden desire to try and read the short stories in where they fit universe-timeline wise, so I’m going back right now to the Bane Chronicles, TftSA, and GotSM stories that fit in before TMI. I haven’t actually read anything from GotSM so I’m excited for that! Sadly the wait list for Chain of Gold is waaaaaaaaaaay to long to pause my re-read there until I get it so that one will have to just happen whenever I get it, which is fine. It feels so nice to be refreshing and finding new universe lore I missed or forgot about from the first time through.

And other than that... life is being life. I’ve eaten vegetarian for two weeks now with no cheat meals, which feels good. I’ve been watching a horrifying about of Great British Bake Off because it’s wholesome and lovely and I get way too attached to some of these bakers. I also watched a lot of Ghost Hunters because what can I say, I love the spooky. I might start looking up some nice mountain/lake/hiking areas around me to do little social distancing day trips to because i want to explore and travel a bit, even if I can’t travel-travel properly. Make the best of what you have right? <3

And, as always, my messages and asks are always open for questions or ramblings or tossing book/music/movie/ANYTHING recs at me, or literally anything whether it’s Shadowhunters related or not. I hope you’re all doing well and staying safe and happy and healthy! <3

#elle talks too much

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lizzybeth1986 · 6 years ago

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Quick Thoughts on TRFTP Book 1 Chapter 16

• Remember how I dubbed the book The Royal Fast-Track Pregnancy last chapter? Well, yeah. That’s my title for this book from now on.

• If you don’t want to see these posts on your dash, here are the tags to block: #trh quick thoughts, #trh qts, #trh qt reblogs, #long post.

• We’re now in the MC’s third trimester, celebrating her baby shower. Her in-laws show up, she gets gifts, she barely notices that her corgis have had puppies (but why am I surprised, this is the same MC who didn’t care enough about her corgi in Book 2 to notice he was with Liam to help with his proposal). And a couple of nosy royals come to visit.

• Over here in India, we do this ceremony around the 7th month, and it’s called different names in different places but with similar traditions and setups. Up North it’s called godhbharai (which literally means “filling the lap” - since the mother’s lap features prominently here as a symbol of maternal care, therefore the gifts are placed on a cloth over her lap - symbolizing her fulfillment once she reaches motherhood and the blessings she takes with her), and mostly fruits and sweets are placed on her lap as a blessing for prosperity and luck. You have games…but the mother isn’t exactly expected to participate in them - she’s the guest of honour, she sits and enjoys!

• She definitely isn’t there to submit to such a thorough interrogation of her political choices either!!

• The rest of the world treats a baby shower like a time for the mother-to-be to relax and be pampered within an inch of her life. Cordonia treats it as an opportunity for her to beat non-pregnant people at their version of egg-and-spoon and pass personality tests.

• Screenshots:

Hana: The Universal Studio 77 YouTube channel

Maxwell: The rash rec YouTube channel

Drake: @thefirstcourtesan and The BizzysChoices YouTube channel

• Title: Great Expectations

Alternative Title: The State of My Bladder Is of Far More Importance Than Any of This Nonsense.

• Believe me, during your final months of pregnancy your bladder will be virtually non-existant (which is why you’re recommended kegel exercises early on). In medical terms they call this “urinary incontinence”, which is due to those muscles facing way more pressure than usual). At one point I recall joking about how we should add “The Bathroom” at the top of my home address, coz I was almost taking up permanent residence there 😐 I wouldn’t be worrying about politics and intrigue at a time like this, I’d be worrying about my kegels!

• Kiki doesn’t get a lot of opportunities to flex her diplomatic muscles in this story, but when she does, gosh does she deliver. Following her advice this time is what allows us to buy time for ourselves.

• Unfortunately that’s all the space PB will allow Kiara, we’re now back to our regular schedule of treating her like she doesn’t matter.

• Either Maxwell or Hana (in Maxwell’s playthrough) will lead us to the boutique to pick out an outfit.

• On a level of having more gold (therefore bling) than peach, that diamond option already wins. At least in the silhouette I can pretend the peach parts of this dress don’t exist. (I still wound up using the free peach outfit for my failplay of this chapter though)

• Me before meeting Hana: pls don’t make her wear that awful lbd again pls pls pls i beg

Me seeing Hana wear the silver one: …okay that’s not too bad. I’m just going to keep headcanoning this one as a gown though.

• Liam wears his official black tie outfit, Hana wears her silver dress, Maxwell wears his black suit and Drake his deep blue one.

• In everyone else’s playthrough besides Hana’s, she is the one in charge of this “planning committee”. Penelope is in charge of…throwing confetti, which annoys Olivia to end.

• Marguerite from THM steps forward with her good wishes, and asks us about the sex of the child - at which point the narrative lets us know that it’s tradition in Cordonia to not know until the delivery. Which makes sense, since we’ll probably be allowed to customize this in a different book? And in some countries (like mine, where it’s illegal to find out before delivery) there are really, really good reasons to not give anyone - especially the family - that information.

• We meet the rest of the royals: Eirik is as self-centered as he always was (either that or Khaan really desperately needs to make sure no one knows he’s that VR game developer from San Francisco who ran away from Eros), Lerato and Lesidi are cupcakes as always, and the Three Big Royals are shady as always.

• The good thing about the scene where Isabella tries to touch your belly is that it is established as out of line straightaway. You win or lose no points however you react, and while you’re expected to be diplomatic and impress them - the narrative is clear on how wrong Isabella is on doing this. And even if you don’t show a reaction, your LI most certainly will.

• PB is trying to convince me that Amalas has a better sense of boundaries, as if she didn’t stalk me in Texas and squeeze out every possible detail about my past life like an orange in a juicer. She only seems better because the Auvernese have all the subtlety of a sledgehammer.

• Most of the LIs have lost a parent, but have a sibling (except for Hana, who is an only child with both parents living. Liam has lost both his parents, but has a stepmother in Regina so she fulfills that role here) - which means that in every case besides Hana’s, we see one parent and one sibling who has become a parent (optional, in Leo’s case).

- Liam: Regina and Leo (YOU EXIST! I WAS ALMOST CERTAIN PB FORGOT YOU WERE THERE). The two lightheartedly tease each other, which is phenomenal progress considering they were at each other’s throats in RoE! Leo comes to wish the MC in all playthroughs.

- Hana: Lorelai and Xinghai. Hana has sent them an invitation but wasn’t sure they’d make it, and depending on whether she is married or not their response varies. In the friendly playthrough, they respond positively but the focus is still very much on seeing the MC. In the romantic playthrough, however, Hana is allowed to show her nervousness and slight fear (how generous, PB!), reaches out to the MC for support, and the parents are tentative in their approach, with Xinghai even assuring Hana that they will cut short their stay if she wants them to. To which she confirms that she does indeed want them here. The two come to wish the MC in all playthroughs, as Leo does.

- Maxwell: Bartie Sr and Bertrand. Bartie Sr tops even King Eirik for self-centeredness (“make way for House Beaumont!”) and is…just plain weird in the way he greets the MC and his younger son (even Maxwell notices this, commenting that ol’ Bartie is “laying it on a little thick”). Bertrand is the more normal, sorted one, which is a sentence I thought I’d never say in this series. The team was pretty smart in how they scattered BertVannah between two LIs - Drake gets a visit from his sister, Maxwell gets a visit from his brother. Neither Bartie Sr nor Bertrand make an appearance in any other playthroughs which is just as well coz I saw PLENTY Bertrand for 7 whole chapters.

- Drake: Bianca and Savannah. Bianca asks the MC if Drake has been “pulling his weight around the house” while the MC has been “worrying about that baby” - nice to know she expects the same of her son as she did for her son-in-law (or perhaps a little less than what she expects of her son-in-law, considering Bertrand had to get back an entire saddle from the person she sold it to just so he could win her favour, after she allowed her sister to treat him like crap for his entire stay at her home). Savannah mercifully doesn’t get a lot of dialogue and merely compliments our glow. Savannah only appears in this playthrough, while her husband Bertrand only appears in Maxwell’s. Which is a good thing. I’ve had enough of that couple to last me a lifetime (sorry Bertrand). You see both Bianca and Savannah only in this playthrough, and I’m EXTREMELY relieved we don’t see Leona.

• It must be clear to anyone who has read all the playthroughs by now - only Leo, Lorelai and Xinghai make appearances across playthroughs, which could either be because they haven’t been shown at all in the books until now, or possibly because they may feature in Lythikos.

• Okay it’s egg and spoon time but with apples. This is Cordonia. It wouldn’t be anything but apples.

•

When you’re a new mom the last thing on your mind is grace and poise ok. Put really really simply and not in too much detail…your brain will feel more scrambled than scrambled eggs esp in the initial weeks, coz half the time you’re trying to make sense of your kid’s sleep schedule and the other half is your body just….feeling WEIRD (hormonal shifts, postpartum bleeding, and generally the overall effects of childbirth - whether it is vaginally or via C-section, both of which come with their own set of challenges). Your own sleep schedule is going to be all over the place and even after the kid starts sleeping all through the night, sometimes your brain has already been wired to wake you up at 2 AM or something. Your back is gonna hurt like a bitch. Your hair will become a hornet’s nest within the first two weeks coz what even is combing (okay, okay, that was probably just me 😅😅). And this is just when things go normally, okay.

You don’t need grace and poise to take care of a kid at this stage - you need stamina and a strong support system. Cordonia (I mean YOU, TRH team) you really need to talk to more pregnant people 🤦🏽‍♀

(on a more serious note…this is why I feel there needs to be more dialogue on parenthood. What it’s truly like and how it really feels, without the kind of fear that holds especially new parents back from admitting to their feelings about it. New parenthood with all its mess and stresses, its frustrations and confusions. No matter how prepared you are, no matter how much reading up you’ve done, there will always be something about that experience that will knock you sideways. I’ve learned that the less shame there is around admitting that parenthood can be messy, can be trial-and-error rather than perfectly executed every single time, can be imperfect, the better it is for everyone. And maybe this is a lesson that parents in some places have had the space to learn already - and that’s amazing - but there are a whole bunch of places where that’s not the case. And there is so much pressure to make it sound better, to convince people this is an easy happy journey even when it isn’t, or to believe that your well-being isn’t as important as that of your child, that many new parents don’t speak up…believing they’re the only ones who feel this way).

But I digress. I do know that “grace and poise” is expected of pregnant royals and even pregnant celebs. I do know that often they’re expected to step out looking picture perfect after having to battle lack of sleep and insane hormonal changes. They’re expected to have “fit bodies” just months after they’ve delivered. This happens in the real world. And the more we talk about it? The more we can help parents, esp new parents who might struggle more to articulate this experience.

• So…where was I? Oh right, grace and poise. In a race involving a spoon and an apple. A spoon and an apple. Excuse me while I facepalm🤦🏽‍♀

• My bladder would never survive this race in a real-life pregnancy situation, I just know it.

• Self-centered or not, at least Khaan-in-disguise points out the obvious: that everyone else has a physical edge over us. But Leo assures him that speed doesn’t help you in this game (does that make me the tortoise among a bunch of hares if I win? 🐰 🐰 🐢 🐰 🐰)

• Scarlett-Emerson-in-disguise is an angel coz she’s the only person apologizing for bumping into my bump.

• Now…if you bought the diamond scene where we drank wine with Isabella, you’d get intel about Bradfraud that could throw him off in the race:

Now…I really like this bit, okay. I like how thrown off he is that we know his secret. But I’m not entirely sure how wise of a decision it is to let him know so soon that we know, or whether it will bite us in the ass eventually. Could we have maybe waited for a better opportunity? Idk.

Anyway, so that definitely works. But IMO in a petty, inconsequential way that means little in the long run (or could be dangerous too idk). This is intel we could have saved for a better time.

• This is why it makes more sense for the MC to be told what Olivia (and possibly Liam) is investigating. Or at least for her to actually keep asking until one of them caves in and tells her. If she’d known about an Operation Swan maybe she wouldn’t openly goad him so easily (or maybe she would. It’s the MC after all).

• There’s a funny sequence in this where everyone falls on each other like ninepins. And another one where Olivia gets impatient and just throws her apple over to the finishing line, asking Kiara if she won and Kiki is like “non. You’re extremely disqualified.” Oh Kiki. Never change 😂

• ….exactly how large are these spoons. It’s an apple. That would cross over from spoon territory to ladle!

• Once the race is over, we’re back to our tables for lunch. The MC’s bump almost knocking a plate over sparks a conversation among the mothers in the table about their baby bumps, and then about labour. Lorelai in particular speaks about her delivery being “more…grueling than what I expected” but quickly assuring the now-nervous MC that once the child is placed in your arms it will all be worth it. That description could cover a whole range of experiences…from mildly stressful to extremely terrifying. I always hope it’s the former.

(I have another question though: so if Lorelai was so ecstatic over Hana’s birth, where and how during/after this euphoric period did Hana’s parents suddenly begin to feel “devastated” over not having a son then? Coz I distinctly recall Hana speaking about that in Book 1. Or is this another retcon?)

In any case…it’s nice to hear that at least for Hana’s sake.

• If you’re married to one of the guys, then it’s Hana who put together the tiny hors d'ouvres (“personally tested all the options for deliciousness and visual appeal!”). If you’re married to Hana, Madeleine is in charge of this part of the baby shower (“spent a week focus group taste-testing the sides for both aesthetic and delectability”). In any case, it’s all tiny food that’s too cute to eat.

•

…isn’t this the guy who constantly complained about tiny portions? Why wasn’t he just taking extra helpings then? (though he also still complains about food from another country looking like “abstract art”. First Hana’s meal in China, now this. No one cares for your uninformed, unwanted opinion on their cultural dishes, Drake. Good thing Maxwell shut that nonsense down immediately)

• Isabella and Bradshaw’s communications with us have always used strength, might, power as a central factor in their dealings with us. Amalas’ approach is no less insistent, but in a different direction. Culture, cuisine, these are the things that seem to stand out to me atm. If the Auvernese mindset reminds me somewhat of Lythikos and Olivia, the Monterisso one looks like it could bring to mind Castelserraillian, Kiara and her family, and Liam + Hana who are more inclined to explore art and culture.

• Everyone’s kid likes grapes, apparently.

• The dish Amalas presented for the guessing game is what they call a “Sweet Potato Surprise”, but you gotta admit the ‘mango’ option is the most entertaining 😆 (with the carrot option, she claims that she mentioned a root vegetable, which would be close enough)

• A pair of cute corgi puppies make their way to our table, and depending on whether you bought both adult corgis or not, the puppies are either theirs, or strays. Like…why are you paywalling the CHILDREN of two dogs if we actually bought the dogs. I could actually justify this level of greed if it were backed up by an equal amount of effort in the book overall, but it isn’t.

• Anyway, they only feature together, so you have to decide on two names that will fit in one space. It kind of reminds me of how they’ve drawn Merlin and Morgana - in one sprite. I’m guessing at some point there will be an option to allow Penelope to clothe them as well.

• Like most of the fandom has already said by now, Bastien and Mara can��t even be trusted with a pair of pups.

• If you don’t buy the pups, Penelope offers to have one of her friends “in the canine couture world” to adopt them.

• Here’s the parenting advice from all the in-laws!

Liam: Regina speaks of the importance of regulating sweet intake closer to bedtime which is true because a child on a sugar rush will transform into the Energizer Bunny and go on forever. Like, this is very much how a child on a sugar rush reacts to the notion of sleep:

Hana: This one seems to highlight Hana’s competitive nature, perfectionism and ambition, and I guess there could be a lesson there in that you need to give yourself time to grow into things you want to do, and that means allowing yourself the space to topple over or struggle once in a while, the space to make mistakes. But I doubt it because weren’t these the same people who deemed her a failure for things that were beyond her control??

Maxwell: Maxwell is sorta kinda called out in this one, both for being “peaceful looking” and for wrecking havoc with those House documents lol. I’m guessing Bartie Sr is here in our baby shower mostly to look suspicious. What exactly was in those House Documents, ol’ Bart?

Drake: Bianca gives us some age-old advice about sleeping while the baby sleeps, which is something my mother and aunt (who looked after me post-childbirth) swore by. They would insist I spent whatever time kiddo was sleeping to be when I got my shut-eye too, because if you don’t take that and pull an all-nighter feeding the child, it’s going to be near-impossible to function. But you really, really need to have lots of support around you during such times because that kind of schedule leaves you little to no time to do much else besides occasional eating, small routines and light exercise (thankfully the MC has staff and a strong support system who can help her). In this case Bianca quips that Savannah was the easy one, and Drake the really fussy one. Drake isn’t quite convinced (who are you kidding Drake you’re still fussy).

• You get two extra pieces of parenting advice from the rulers, pretty characteristic (at least in Auvernal’s case since we’re more familiar with their culture) of where they come from. Amalas’ is “know your baby’s moods, and you can spot a tantrum before it happens”. The Auvernese “pearls of wisdom” say “to show weakness is to admit defeat” - Jesus, these guys have lost already, then.

• Olivia now has plans for a dart playing game - where she plans to use her daggers instead. You can either refuse to join, or enthusiastically participate. The LI warns you to be careful in the second option.

• If you join in: Isabella and Amalas hit near-center, both claiming different things in the face of their defeat (Isabella claims Olivia’s dagger to be a “terribly balanced weapon”) and Amalas tries to throw Olivia off by claiming her “aim was off”. Both of them are clearly thrown off by the unfamiliar weapon. At this point Olivia counts on the MC to “show them what Cordonians are made of”. If you succeed, you get a glimpse of your LI going all John Mulaney on the foreign royals (“that’s my wife!”)

• If you don’t join in: the LI and the MC’s friends form a protective circle around her, and Olivia chooses to stick to the usual darts. Isabella and Amalas are both in their element, with tools they’re familiar with using on a dart board. Isabella’s is still just near the target, Olivia’s is even closer, and Amalas’ is the closest - almost knocking off Olivia’s dart.

• Either way, we’ve effectively pissed off Isabella who angrily asks for “best of two?” 🤭

• Time for presents!

• Uh oh. The rattle comes from Auvernal. And it’s the same rattle as the one on the book cover. Soooooo…what does that hint at? Will our hand be forced, somehow? And will we eventually have to make a secret pact with Monterisso to get out of it, since the narrative is really really trying to push Amalas as the better option? (maybe not, but it’s fun to theorize).

• I don’t trust Amalas but they clearly gave her the nicer gift (at least, a nicer explanation for her gift). It’s a blossom “from the oldest apple tree in Monterisso, a tree that Cordonia helped my people plant long ago”. She hints at a closeness that the countries shared way back and offers the gift as a way of asking if that could happen again. The story kind of reminds me of the Regatta one Liam told us in Book 1, where Cordonia helped its neighbours at sea with supplies, during a time when they were ravaged by storms.

• Eirik gives you a bust of his own head, Lerato and Lesidi give you glass bottles and Marguerite gives us money, which puzzles the LIs. (though culturally I’ve been accustomed to cash being given as gifts or even in blessing, esp by elders, and I know at least one or two other cultures where cash can be the norm for gifts too). Kiara confiscated Olivia’s gift which she argues would help with self-defence 🤭 which happens to be one of my favourite moments in this chapter, and reminds me of this post an artist made of the MC’s baby shower long back. Idk why everyone sleeps on Kiara’s sheer entertainment value coz that girl possesses it in droves.

•

From our in-laws, we get a gift for the nursery - a cot mobile to place above the baby’s crib. These things are incredibly useful in the initial few months of a baby’s life when their visual development, eye-hand coordination and control over head and neck muscles are just about beginning. (and it’s cute and fun. What’s not to like). Unfortunately…unlike the nursery itself and the crib, you don’t get a free option for the cot mobile. You get a royal and rustic option + plus a neutral one with stars that I liked, but you have to pay even for that lovely neutral one. I’m guessing that the first two things from our nursery were “essentials” and whatever else we get now will be considered additional perks, thus paywalling even the options that don’t fit into your “royal or rustic” theme.

Each of the in-laws refer to a local/Cordonian craftswoman who made cot mobiles for the LIs. Leo gleefully tells us that Liam’s had “sparkles for days”, Bianca teasingly acts secretive about Drake’s. Hana never even knew she had a mobile coz she hasn’t seen a lot of baby photos of herself (I’m not sure what it’s meant to be an indication of yet, but I’m taking note of it). The one that really puzzles me is Maxwell’s. The writers don’t bother telling us what Maxwell’s is and instead make the bizarre choice to tell us what Bertrand’s cot mobile was instead. Why…the hell…would a Maxwell stan be interested in THAT. The writers don’t even specify if it was a hand-me-down (why was a family that rich and titled giving their younger one hand-me-downs) - nope, somehow it was a better choice to let us know that Bertrand’s was “silver grapefruit spoons”.

They should have done this for Drake also then, no? Talk about Savannah’s mobile instead of his? But noooo, Drake is too important, right. So let’s have his mother act all coy about his but make sure the sequence still centered around him.

At this point the writers should just nip this entire series in the bud if they’re not going even to bother writing equally good romances for all the LIs. One decently-done romance route doesn’t a good romance book make.

• In the middle of all this, the LI calls the MC into the hedge maze, presenting her with their own gift - a deep blue baby blanket with gold embroidery. How very Cordonia of them xD

• It’s a cute free LI moment where they show you how much they appreciate you, even in the midst of all this chaos and pandering of nosy royals.

• Once we’re back, it’s time to see if we passed our little diplomacy exam with these guys. Depending on the points you have with them, they will either back down convinced that even a normal alliance would work with Cordonia, or they will pressurize you further.

• Interestingly enough in the failplay, Amalas’ responses seem to imply that she would have more open to the idea of simply an alliance with the rulers sans marriage, but you can’t tell yet whether this is the writers trying to indicate to us that she is the choice, or whether she just isn’t being as ham-fisted as the Auvernese are. They lack subtlety, she’s more persuasive, but is she still someone you can trust? Since we’ve only seen her like twice before this sequence, I can’t quite tell yet.

• Kdjhshshsjssj @ Liam confiscating Maxwell’s armory access pass.

• The sales of “that book about us that has Maxwell’s face on it” are fantastic, and the publishers want Maxwell to do a book tour, the first signing of which is in Lythikos.

• We’re in Lythikos…for a book tour. Not even because Olivia found some information there or whatever (though I’m sure that will come up at some point next chapter), we’re there for a book tour that could have been done ANYWHERE.

• Places we could be having this book signing:

- Ramsford: Yknow, the author’s birthplace which we haven’t bothered visiting since our first Beaumont Bash in Book 1.

- Castelserraillian: Yknow, like the seat of art and culture and literature in Cordonia?? If there is one place in all of Cordonia I could easily picture as a literary hub it would be this one.

- No Valtoria coz we’ve seen plenty of it.

- Applewood: Yknow, that place that has many farmers, lots of commoners, who doubtless would have read this story of a commoner woman who climbed the ranks into royalty and glory. Applewood even has a public library that Queen Eleanor and her son regularly supported and visited. I’m sure many of the commoners in Applewood would have found that story even a little inspiring.

- Hana’s mysterious Cordonian homeplace: Just because the team is whack and we deserved better. They could have really made an effort to show her other home somewhere, yknow, considering they did such an awful job of Shanghai the last time.

• At this point we’ve seen Lythikos more than we have seen any other estate in this story. Sure, we can all spout out all sorts of excuses for why - plot, intrigue, Olivia’s character development (work on your own female LI first, PB!), but it all comes back to the same point: that the team is more willing to rob Hana of her rightful space and place it on Olivia’s lap. Setting this in Lythikos is re about the fact that, now that Drake has had more than his fair share of space, it’s Olivia’s turn to fulfill the role of secondary character but be treated like a main (all while Hana is thrown in as their token female LI + default POC LI, but treated with far less respect from her writers than even a secondary character).

• Overall, this is meant to be a light chapter - which most Chapter 16s (except for Book 2) are. Chapter 16 tends to be sandwiched between intense sequences, and is often seen as the point where the group and the LIs and MC can have fun but relax from court intrigue as well. It was the Beaumont Bash in Book 1, Vegas in Book 3, now a baby shower in TRH Book 1.

• Hana meeting her parents again (especially on her own playthrough), was nice, I guess. A little extra time is spent during the cot mobile scene having her parents acknowledge how they’d failed her, and the narrative shows us glimpses of her nervousness and discomfort while having the parents state that if she would rather they leave, they will respect that. It’s a tiny bit more progress compared to all the times Lorelai was continually repeating her mistakes and thinking they could be fixed each time with a paltry apology. But it’s still not enough.

• For one, we have just 4 chapters left in a book where half the time we were pandering to Drake’s family for chapters on end. We’re 16 chapters too late in addressing this. I have zero faith that things will improve.

For another, Hana getting this type of validation from her parents isn’t something that should be restricted to the playthrough where she is married alone. In both cases she invited them along, so in both cases they should be showing an equal level of caring and tentetiveness.

For a third, the whole angle with her parents seems to have such a disconnect. It’s almost like the writers were trying to prove something but didn’t do enough work to make it all sound coherent. Like you have this somewhat-healing relationship, but even then you have these moments that just don’t seem to make sense within Hana’s narrative, like Lorelai giving you that generic answer about your feelings suddenly becoming positive the moment they place the baby in your arms (which, btw, doesn’t always happen), or Xinghai talking about Hana’s ambition but there’s hardly any indication of how they controlled the directions her ambition would take. Overall they all sound like nice sequences by themselves but very disconnected to Hana’s actual story.

Why Hana hasn’t seen many baby pictures is something I want to see more of. I’m hoping that the fact that we see Lorelai, Xinghai and Leo in all the playthroughs, means they may accompany us on the book tour and perhaps we will get Hana-centric flashbacks and Liam-centric ones too.

• With next week, we’ll have only three chapters left, the intrigue is still in its nascent stages, the pacing is grossly uneven, and most of the LIs still don’t have a clear-cut arc. Some may claim that, well, it’s a series so maybe everyone else will get their “arc” in the next book. Except that if that were the case, Drake’s playthrough shouldn’t have been having the kind of focus on family that it’s been having this entire book. Others may claim that, well, it’s okay coz the story is about the baby and the romance - but they didn’t exactly do any justice to either of those. So what was this whole book about then? Besides Walker worship?

• The holiday special for TRR…is this going to be in Lythikos? Again??? Isn’t it bad enough that I will be going into TRM foolishly hoping to see Castelserraillian to get fair rep but know I’ll be confronted with with the reality of duchies like Lythikos getting a lion’s share of the story??

• That’s it for this chapter, guys. Until Saturday!

#long post #trh quick thoughts #trh qts #the royal heir #king liam #hana lee #maxwell beaumont #trr kiara #olivia nevrakis #drake walker

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