#I feel personally threatened

[o-sunny-day]

*WAS IT WORTH IT?

GAAAAAHH posted this on tiktok forgot to post it on tumblr

also i made a work-in-progress overview on tiktok and the sound got removed so im gonna do that for this too 😭😭 BUT AUGGGHHHH THIS THING TOOK YEARS OFF MY LIFE/pos (tbf this comic in general is taking years off my life so LEMME GIVE A LITTLE BACK TO COMMUNITY♥️♥️♥️)

its hard to describe after its all “done” (its not exactly done- but i’m calling it here cause i’m happy with it)

BUT I EXPECTED THAT! SO I RANTED ABOUT IT AS I MADE IT ON MY ART ARCHIVE SERVER!!! HAVE AT YEE

all the little ins and outs :3

since I can only post 1 video per pose ill post the works in progress’ after this- be on the look out cause I ALSO CANT JUST REBLOG THIS 😭😭 videos are weird on tumblr smh

[aithusarosekiller]

One thing I love about Jegulus is that the rest of the school are just living their normal teen years, falling in love and being messy and stupid like everybody else. Some of them will have horrible breakups over the war but it's normal and human. Then Jegulus are there having their whole massive Greek tragedy complete with extensive metaphors, secret rooms and an intrinsically deep, historical aspect to their entire relationship that it unmatched by any other on the planet. And somehow they're still a secret from everybody else, their love reads like one of the epics but it's so small and hidden.

They're just that dramatic ig

[bigmoon-is-bigwife]

There is a notable difference in how Clown interacts with Ros compared to other members of The Realm. With others he acts very aloof and distant. He's friendly and polite but he tends to speak very vaguely and seems to take any chance to say something intentionally violent and off-putting. He seems content to keep people nervous and questioning whether or not he is threatening them. He has a reputation for being dangerous and he allows it to fester even if he doesn't have intentions of actually doing anything. He actively encourages people to be wary of him and often takes opportunities to show off what he is capable of to remind them that he is a threat. I'd say he enjoys making people scared of him. And then you compare that to any conversation he has with Ros and there is a stark difference. You can literally hear it in Clown's tone of voice. He tends to speak quieter and more softly when speaking to Ros because Ros is jumpy and easily startled. Whenever he does spook her, he apologizes and reassures her. He doesn't seem to want Ros to be afraid of him. Even with Sneeg, who I'd argue is his second closest relationship on the server, he'll make jokes about killing Sneeg but he avoids those jokes with Ros. He'll still make comments about violence and killing with Ros but they're never directed at Ros. It seems important to him that Ros never doubts that he wouldn't harm her. And for as jumpy as Ros is, she never does. She has never questioned if Clown would intentionally harm her. She even said when they were training that she wouldn't blame Clown if he accidentally took her last life. Clown seemed uncomfortable with how okay she was with the prospect of him causing her death and later said it would be sad if he ever did kill her.

It's just interesting for a guy who leans so heavily on his reputation for being scary, he goes out of his way to be as nonthreatening to Ros as possible. And it works, Ros has never felt threatened by Clown. She spent 8 hours training with Clown and allowing herself to be attacked by him over and over again and never once worried that he would go too far and kill her. She had complete and utter faith in him. Clown is open about his bloodlust and love of killing but I don't think the thought has ever occurred to Ros that it would ever be turned against her. I think that's very intentional on Clown's part. It would be very easy for him to do fake-outs where he pretends like he's going to kill Ros like he does with others (he frequently chased his own faction member, Tango, around just to watch him panic) but he doesn't. During that training Ros only got low on health by forgetting to eat and never Clown's actions. The absence of that behavior shown with Tango and others feels intentional. He simply doesn't seem to want Ros to be afraid of him like he encourages with others.

[s0fter-sin]

trans!soap taking his baby and running away from his rich abusive husband

(cw angst, financial abuse, single threat of child abuse, single mention of transphobia)

he's owned soap for years, since he was a teenager; paid for his medication and all his surgeries and tied them so deeply, soap’s lost hope of ever getting away. he gets even worse when soap falls pregnant. he was always controlling; blowing up at him if he spent too long out of the house or did something without telling him. but he becomes utterly possessive during the pregnancy

soap knows it has nothing to do with his safety or the baby's

he knows he sees his baby as an investment; another being he can control and hold over him

he gets worse and worse but there’s nothing soap can do. there's been nothing he can do for a long time. then a few months after the baby is born, soap doesn’t watch his tone closely enough and his husband threatens to drop his baby in punishment for it

soap doesn't think. he doesn't plan

he takes his baby and runs

he sneaks out of the servant's quarters of the sterile mansion he's been forced to live in for almost a decade and walks down the street without a backwards glance; his baby the only thing in his arms. he knows all of his husband's cars have trackers, all of them in his name since he never lets soap drive or go anywhere by himself, so he walks far enough to be out of view of the mansion's cameras and steals one. it doesn't have a car seat and all he can do is clutch his baby to his chest as he drives

he doesn't know where he's going beyond away

he doesn't know what he's going to do; he doesn't have any money, no supplies for his baby, he doesn't even have water for himself so he can reliably breastfeed him. he's terrified his husband will find them; he’s always felt omniscient, always everywhere and seeing everything he did. if he didn’t have eyes somewhere, he paid someone who did and they always dutifully reported back to him

soap just keeps his eyes forward. just keeps driving and driving, lost to the road and numb until the low gas light pops up on the dash and it all hits him at once

he turns into a gas station he can't pay for, in a car he stole, and parks behind it and his baby immediately starts getting fussy

he can't even call him by his name sometimes; too afraid to get attached, too afraid to lose him. as if he doesn’t love him more than life itself

even throughout his pregnancy, as happy as he was to finally have a baby, he didn't know if he could carry to term and that fear just let his husband dig his claws in even deeper; paying for extra scans he could never hope to pay for, favours on top of favours so he would aways owe him and isn’t he such a loving husband? taking soap in when his parents kicked him out for being trans, looking after him for all these years? you can’t even take care of yourself john, you’d still be a woman without me, john, what is this tantrum about john-

soap tugs his shirt up to let his baby feed, drops his head back and cries

he can't stop it; wails loud and uncontrolled, chest heaving with his sobs enough that it sways his baby, occasionally breaking his latch and he can't even do this right-

he can't save him

a light knock sounds on the window and soap flinches, curling over his baby to protect him from his huband's cruel hands

but it's not his husband outside the window

soap blinks tears from his eyes and looks at the large stranger standing beside the car. a neck gaiter covers his mouth and it should be off-putting… but something about him stops the feeling in its tracks. the stranger takes a half-step back and lifts a chilled and sealed water bottle, pressing it towards the window

soap quickly swipes his face clean and rolls down the window. "sorry 'bout that," he apologises with a choked laugh, the careful front he’s built over the years cracked and bleeding

the stranger gives a dismissive but somehow not diminishing shrug. "long day?" he asks

"could say that," he gives a shrug of his own and pats his baby's back as he makes a disgruntled noise, unconsciously swaying him

he politely keeps his gaze up on his face. "looks like you could use a break."

soap's breath hitches, anxiously darting his tongue out over his bottom lip. "could say that," he repeats uselessly and takes the water with a quiet “thanks,”; his throat dry and screaming for it after crying so hard

the stranger hums, watching him down the bottle and soap doesn’t notice his eyes drifting to the backseat and footwell of the passenger side. doesn’t notice the slight tension in his fists at what he sees. "how long you been runnin', lad?"

soap freezes, the water settling in his stomach like a stone. he swallows thickly and the bottle falls from his lips

"not long enough."

the stranger just nods, looking idly back down the highway

"you know, this place is connected to a garage,” he starts, nodding back to a building attached to the station without taking his eyes off the road. “lotta people drift through 'ere on road trips; too many to keep track.”

soap frowns slightly, shifting his hold on his baby

“funny thing is, plenty of 'em just abandon their car when they break down. like yours,” he adds and finally turns back to him with a pointed look. “got a whole junkyard of 'em. just rustin' away. be pretty easy to convince me to trade ya one."

soap’s mouth parts in a gasp as he realises just what the stranger’s saying. "how easy?" he whispers

he shrugs and even with his face hidden beneath the gaiter, he doesn’t feel afraid. "i'd say this car'd be a good deal. would blend right in with the rest of ‘em; no one’d ever notice it. what say i take it off your hands?"

soap's breath shudders out of him, his whole body going limp with relief. his baby's eyes fall shut with a satisfied hum and for the first time he can remember, he feels the gentle touch of hope

"i think we can work something out."

🧼💀

ghost owns the service station soap pulled into. he wanted something quiet and isolated after he retired and you can’t get much quieter than a backwoods servo surrounded by forest. he hasn’t had anyone pull in in days so he’s quick to notice soap’s car. he’s also quick to notice soap's subsequent breakdown in one of the cameras. the sight of him crying, desperately clutching a baby like they’re all he has left in the world, is so familiar he felt sick with it

he knows someone running when he sees it

if he didn't check on him, if this lad disappeared one day and the baby along with him, he'd never forgive himself. the lad doesn't even have a baby bag or car seat with him, and the personalised sticker on the back window of a lady and a dog is a dead giveaway that the car is stolen

but the lad is terrified. and when he startled him, he didn't turn. didn’t lift his arms to protect himself. no

he covered his baby

like he was afraid he'd be hurt

that's enough for ghost

🧼💀

i'd wanna set this in the 80's or 90's, just to make it even harder for soap to get away from his husband. he's a trans man with a newborn; he has no one to run to and no resources to help him. his husband's bought and paid for everything for him since he was 17; a few whirlwind weeks of unbelievable dates and extravagant gifts and he was living in his mansion, getting married the day after his 18th birthday. he thought it was love. thought he was being looked after and cared for the way he’s always wanted

he was in pain and alone and naive enough to believe the first person who came along and promised to make it better. nothing's in his name, not his insurance or his meds, he doesn’t have a bank account or savings; other than a birth certificate, nothing even ties him to his baby. his husband could take his world away from him with a snap of his fingers and he made sure soap always knew it

he never had a chance of getting away

but ghost is ex-military

he doesn’t know the lad’s story, doesn’t know the details of what he’s running from. he doesn’t need to know

he decided he was helping him the second he pulled into his service station

[gobstoppr]

Tetris Fanart.

I've been playing tetris while listening to horror podcasts. and yeah

[spotaus]

If you're still accepting requests, you could draw Cross x Lust?

Hello anon! Definitely still accepting requests! And I need you to know that this request literally short-circuited my brain, because I rendered all of these doodles 🙏

Cross X Lust was Not on my bingo board of things I'd draw, but the combo just settled in my head and felt Super Right and I got to sketching and realized I really liked their energy and just... didn't stop drawing! Thank you SO MUCH for the request! (They give me the vibes of Cross being the one who insists on being chivalrous and very protective, while Lust gets some freedom to relax and be himself and get pampered a bit! Idk if I explained it right, but it makes sense in my brain-)

[emmavakarian-theirin]

the way the music died at just the right moment made this so perfect

[uncanny-tranny]

Hey, gentle recognition for the people who are taking care of themselves in "not aesthetically-pleasing" ways. To the people who have to do things they don't want to because they know they would suffer more if they didn't, to the people who have to brush their teeth with their fingers, to the people who have to use washcloths to bathe, to the people who need to punch pillows or scream into them to express their intense emotions, to anybody ashamed about the way they need to live and take care of themselves.

You are doing the very best you can with the hand you've been dealt. It's not easy, it's not pretty, but it sure as fuck takes so much to do these things. You are doing what is best for yourself, and I, for one, think you deserve to be proud of that. Self-care isn't easy. It isn't pretty, often, but it's something you shouldn't be ashamed of or hide away because it's deemed "grotesque" or "not really self-care (because self-care is pretty and non-threatening to 'normal peoples' senses)"

[seeker-ophelia]

Ophelia Rants: Veilguard is Weird

I had another post (Review, Pt 4) composed about how much I love dragons, but the AMA kinda knocked me on my ass.

* * *  

[INTRO]

* * *  

I’m going to share the image I made collected from the results of my survey:

And while everyone only contributed one word for this, it IS possible for Veilguard to be ALL OF THESE THINGS AT ONCE.

Now. We need to take this with a grain of salt and remember that most of these responses came from tumblr, and often ones Social Media Frens are an echo chamber of ones own thoughts.

The words that repeat over and over are all similar; sanitized, shallow, underwhelming, trimmed, incomplete… Fun But Not Dragon Age.

And I could not agree with this more.

Caitie (YT: Ghil Dirthalen BS: Ghil Dirthalen), (Mythal’enaste her and her data-mining efforts) has released so much information from Datamining Veilguard. So much dialogue not used, paths ignored or forgotten, Keep choices abandoned, Lore identified.

Flipping through the Art Book shows how much time and effort and ideas have been put into DA4; all of its iterations. All the creativity, the different worlds, the different possible paths. YEARS of work, abandoned.

Which feels soooo… opposite. I’m not a writer. What’s the word for a complete opposite dichotomy in all things? Contradictory? Inconsistent? Irreconsilable? Antithesis?

How can Dragon Age be Sanitized and Shallow… but so much work be put into it?

* * *

[OPINION]

* * *

After I removed my emotional connection from Dragon Age, IMO, it really does feel like something is missing from this game. Even if one tries to lay down their preconceptions of what the game might have been in their dream world, this game, to me, could not decide what it wanted to be. Narratively, it’s a sequel to Inquisition. Solas’s story matters from Inquisition, the Inquisitor matters from Inquisition… and yet it spends so much time onboarding new players. The story feels simple, the world is straightforward, like its dumbed down for players new to the series.

Inquisition, even though in a gameplay sense it is different from Origins and 2, still feels like its building off of a complex world that the player might not understand. And when I played Inquisition, I hardly understood any of it. That’s part of the joy of Dragon Age. People who read LotR or Malazan or WoT or ASOIAF, don’t expect the author to hold their hand. They’re dumped, unceremoniously, into a world, and they have to figure it out themselves (figure it out through strategically placed tidbits from the author). Dragon Age (O through I), was a masterclass in this, I think. Somehow, no matter how deep you want to dive into the game, whether just playing superficially one-and-done, or playing it over and over to capture as much lore and depth as you can, Origins through Inquisition does that. It gives you just enough crumbs to keep you going, keep you questioning, and to point you enough in the right direction, that when you DID get a lore reveal right, you felt GOOD. Yes, plot-twists and subverting expectations are important, but so is letting your audience figure things out, giving them concrete answers. Veilguard drops you, sure, literally in Minratheous into a Gods Magic Ritual. But then it takes your hand, and skips with you through beautiful landscapes, phenomenal level design, and whirlwind combat, to place you right in front of the information you need. And then gives you a cutscene explaining, just in case you didn’t get it 😉).

We, as fans, need to realize that while the Personality of Veilguard is Toothless, the Lore, The Skeleton, is not.

Yeah, Epler said some things that hurt my feels during the AMA. (I’m ignoring the Solas stuff, because I really do believe Epler is speaking from a personal bias and not from a cannon-perspective. [edit: he just talked bout this on BlueSky]) But do you know why? Because they broke my personal headcannons. They proved MY theory crafting wrong. The real problem with Veilguard is that it came out too late. 10 years is too long to have people care so much about a game and theorize and craft worlds for themselves.

* * *

[LORE]

* * *

Superficially, VG dropped a lot of lore. But Deeply? To the DA Lore-Core? I don’t think they dropped ENOUGH.

[Image Credit: Helena Hansen on ArtStation]

HOW did Soals cleanse the dagger? HOW can Elgy & Ghill control the blight? HOW do they control their archdemons? HOW does the veil work? (How can it be weak with Elgy & Ghilly holding it up but 100%-strong-no-holes-perfectly-good with only Solas providing power for it?) HOW do spirits work? HOW do souls work? WHATS the difference? HOW does a Dragon-thrall-bond work? WHY isn’t Lusacan a Great Dragon? HOW does the rite of tranquility work? WHAT happens to Solavellan in the Fade? Is it different from what happens to a tricked Solas in the fade? WHAT happens now to Hawke/Stroud in the fade? WHAT is an orb? WHAT is a cube? WHATS the difference? WHERE is The Black City? WHAT is the ‘real blight’? (Because according to VG Solas, it’s still in the prison and its still super dangerous and way more dangerous than the blight that’s out in Thedas.) HOW did Solas burn his Vallaslin off? WHAT is the Calling? WHAT is the NEW song in the calling? WHY did ‘Mythal speak the calling’? WHY does lyrium sing? How is lyrium mined? WHY can tranquil work lyrium safely? HOW did Dirth & Falon split? WHY did Dirth & Falon split? WHERE are the rest of the Evanuris? WHERE is the Abyss? WHAT is the Abyss? WHAT do you MEAN there was more than 8 Evanuris?? HOW did you make your lyrium bodies? HOW can Elgar’nan destroy a FEELING?

WHERES MY ELVHEN DICTIONARY.

Obviously not ALL. But SOME of these NEEDED to be answered, or at least strongly alluded to, IN GAME. NOT in an AMA.

“We're leaving that ambiguous on purpose…”

“We haven't been SUPER specific about this…”

“I'm so glad these stories have their hooks in you! We have to leave some threads to tug on for future stories.”

What DID get answered in game?

Some of the Evanuris hats. Archdemons/Old Gods = Evanuris. Solas (w/ Mythal?) tranquil’d the Titans. Solas (accidentally) created the Blight. Solas used a Blood Magic Ritual to create the veil. Solas regrets a lot of things & has mommy issues. Worm-Solas (which, do not get me wrong, a million thank you’s and blessings for werm-Solas… But…) That’s it. That’s IT?

Oh, and there’s a shadow organization that’s been pulling all the strings from behind the scenes but I am NOT getting into how much I hate that idea in this post we don’t have time. Do we? No, we don’t. You know what, fuck it. This is my blog. Once you introduce that idea there is no way anyone NOT the author can know how much sway the puppeteer has over the marionette. ‘Oh it’s just a nUdGe, just a *whisper,* ‘they still have their free will’. Bitch get fucked what does that MEAN. That doesn’t MEAN anything its just a lazy retcon-y way to tie in a new villain to old material. Completely erasing the autonomy of they characters your fanbase has come to love (and love to hate). Do not corporate-speak at me with synergy and circle-back and deliverables. WHAT is a WHISPER? WHAT is a NUDGE? Because unless you lay it all out in an ELI5, NO ONE CAN KNOW- EXCEPT FOR YOU.

Ok obviously I have feelings about that we need to move on.

You can argue Veilguard was about the Evanuris, you can argue that Veilguard was about Solas. You can argue that Veilguard was about Regret and Pride and letting it all go. You can argue that Veilguard was about the ~*Power of Friendship*~ But for me, who has been obsessed with whatever the ever-loving-fuck has been going on in Thedas since 9.30 Dragon, Veilguard is about the Blight.

Corrine from the AMA: What really captures my imagination now that we've resolved some of the mysteries pertaining to the blight and the Elven gods, is exploring the aftermath of this crisis in a deeply destabilized Thedas.

Sorry… What did you answer? We actually know nothing about the Blight except that Solas created it, and with Antonie and Evka claiming the song has changed… what does that mean? Is a Titan consciously controlling the blight now? Is it soothed because Harding Soothed it? Is all the blight from the Kal-Sharok Titan? Are all their orbs/cubes in the Black City? Do the Executors control the blight? What is a calling, then? Will the Wardens never be called to the deep roads again? The Blight is different in a Warden than it is in a darkspawn, or an Archdemon? How? WHY? The wardens are just going to fade from existence because… all the darkspawn are just going to disappear now? Where in game is this stated as truth? Actually, in fact, ZERO questions were answered.

But Wait…

I feel like the news of the AMA COMPLETELY overshadowed the two IGN articles that came out; 1 & 2. Because… holy shit you guys. There was A LOT of lore dropped here.

Unfortunately for Epler & Corrine, and this is a hill I will die on, ALL OF THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN ANSWERED IN GAME. The fact that it was NOT? Is inexcusable. You cannot drop giant lore reveals like this outside of the game and hope it smooths everything over. The lore dropped in these interviews could have been a DLC, a side quest in game, or at the very least a novel or WoT Vol 3.

* * *

[What IS Dragon Age?]  

* * *

I've used this photo before and I'll use it again I fucking love it so much

I wish Veilguard came out a year later, I would have waited longer, paid more for it, if it was a more a whole, inclusive game.

The problem with dumbing down a pre-existing franchise is that you’re alienating the fans that are carrying you on their shoulders. They carried you through a game-less 10 years, and through Andromeda. And you can bet your ass when they drop you, the new fans you roped in with VG are not going to be picking you up.

Dragon Age feels like it cannot find its identity. That Veilguard, inexplicably, does not feel like Dragon Age.

“But how can you explain what Dragon Age feels like when every Dragon Age that came before it was so different?”

New Protagonists, new companions, new locations, everything is different. On top of more meta things; new gameplay, new combat, new art styles, its all different.

So what makes Dragon Age, Dragon Age?

Well, when I was nervous about the game back in September, I asked Kala, when she got pre-access to the game, if she FELT anything.

“I’d love for you to touch on how the game made you FEEL… Did anything you played in Veilguard make you Feel™?”

She sent me a private message with 1 word: Yes.

We can go into the design decision to have the companions react with each other instead of Rook and how that can be alienating to the PC. We can talk about how shafted the romances were. We can go into how gentrified Minrathous and the Crows were. We can go into how child-locked the lore was. We can discuss the toothless-ness of Veilguard.

But Veilguard still made me Feel.

And, even if that emotion is anger, if Veilguard made you Feel, it did it’s job.

[conspicuous-clown-car]

what a morning,,,

here's a rant about the pressure community

I've been kinda lurking on pressure twitter for the past few weeks while all this shit went down and i just gotta say... jesus fuck.

I practically had a heart attack as soon as i opened my phone when i woke up and saw zeal was trying to sell pressure. Considering how he changed his profile last night to a strictly corporate one and then this? It seemed like a really hasty decision, and something serious was going on with him.

And yknow what, with all the hate being directed at him right now i don't blame him one fucking bit. I'd probably end up doing the same thing if i was in his shoes. Being autistic as well, i would just want to completely distance myself from this overwhelming bullshit. I think that's why he started to distance himself from the community in the first place (which unfortunately is kinda what led to some issues getting overlooked).

The tweet was deleted and pressure isn't for sale anymore thank GOD, but I'm honestly more worried about the actual people behind pressure than the game itself.

I agree that there's issues they need to fix, but its not an entirely black and white situation, and its pretty fucking complicated. With the sheer amount of people in the community its crazy to expect them to handle and manage everything themself, especially since they blew up in popularity in such a short amount of time, how the hell would they know how to deal with this???

Yes, there are certain things they need to actually address and take responsibility for that they sort of haven't, but attacking them to where it gets to this point isn't the fucking answer.

I wouldn't blame any of the devs if they never touch the game again, the way the community has treated them and has completely blown things out of proportion is insane. I feel like the main issue is the discord server itself but that's just me. From what I've seen its mostly just the community self cannibalizing, attacking each other, sending death threats, and doxxing people over shit that literally doesn't matter at all.

I'm not one to really delve into fandom drama, but this whole issue with certain possessive Sebastian fans and those who took it upon themselves to attack those fans is the stupidest fucking conflict I've ever seen in any fandom. Especially when this stuff reaches the people who work on the games who have nothing to do with it.

I agree that this is something the devs need to talk about head on with full transparency, no matter their feelings on it, because a main problem I've seen with them is lack of community management.

But again, y'all are forgetting the devs are REAL FUCKING PEOPLE, people who are bound to make mistakes, and get overwhelmed, and not know how to deal with suddenly having a giant fanbase. Harassing them and sending death threats is going way too fucking far and wont solve anything, because clearly all its done is made things worse.

Also god forbid they have boundaries and don't want to see certain things in the discord server. I'm not gonna get into the specifics, but as a queer trans person I think some of y'all are reading too much into the things they don't allow, seriously.

Reminder, I'm saying all this as someone who self-ships with Sebastian, and who's not entirely thrilled about him being canonically married. BUT PRIORITIZING A FICTIONAL CHARACTER OVER REAL PEOPLE????? THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YALL???

And to the people I've seen disappointed in zeal's response to all this on twitter, I'm with you, not seeing whats happening in the community doesn't mean these problems don't exist. But think about the shit he's going through, put yourself in his shoes and genuinely try to understand how fucking overwhelming this whole situation is, for him and the rest of the team. Especially after what's happened in the past 24 hours.

Tangent, but am i the only one who's seen a drastic change in the way fandom communities operate in the past few years? Like after lockdown fandom spaces have gotten more and more hostile, and people are just being so fucking mean to each other over the most trivial shit??? Listen I Get being chronically online, because i am, but at a certain point you just gotta log the fuck off and touch some grass, man. christ.

I really hope the devs take a break, they need it. I was excited about the update that was supposed to come out this month but I don't think it will now, and I honestly don't think we deserve it.

TL;DR: Pressure fandom, do better. Speaking from both points of view, no matter the various mistakes the dev team has made, the majority of this is on y'all.

And lastly, I'd honestly rather keep pressure exactly the way it is with no updates and no new stuff ever again than for it to turn into roblox slop like most of the games that are sold off on that platform.

[dykeredhood]

Need to shave this evening

[savageolivegarden]

Do you guys think Lestat would like his daughter in law Madeleine or do you think he would be an awful mother in law?

[odo-apologist]

I have things I should be working on but I'm too busy wondering what a Low or High Kochanski would be like

[thegodwhocums]

finally brought anthesteria offerings outside to the crypt tree and the mother tree

AND

tapped the maples! 5 trees this year, same as last year. what are some favorite offerings to give the trees themselves? we scraped some spongy moth egg masses off their bark but I want to do more than just say thank you verbally/energetically

[wylanslcve]

Ranpo’s just like me (spent his childhood/adolescence being repeatedly told by the adults in his life that he’s different from everyone else because he’s “gifted” and “special” when really he’s just autistic).

[qoldenskies]

i think a lot of people pretty openly acknowledge that leo is someone that self-aggrandizes and acts reckless in order to compensate for his insecurities, which is true and it's very clearly spelled out especially in the movie, but i don't really see people acknowledge the fact that donnie is the EXACT same way (outside of people who specifically like to write a lot of angst for him. leo is forever designated sadboy of the fandom). which is sad, because i think it's the most twin-like thing about them!!

it's a trait they share pretty openly. same flavor of daddy issues, although leo is always wanting to look down, to be the BEST at something, to be admired and respected and trusted, to be above other people, while donnie is always wanting to look up, the whole approval from a parental aged adult thing is the largest example but i also think about his desperation for CAMARADERIE in the purple jacket, and also like, lol the entirety of mind meld. he wants to be understood and acknowledged and praised and he practically begs for it with everything he does.

both of them desperately want to impress! but i kind of interpret it as leo trying to make a point to himself more than to other people, because he is so caught up in his own self-judgement. it's why he can act rude or try to step over the others (raph especially, although early on there is some mutual toxicity in that relationship) in order to prove that point.

but donnie has a lot more self-security because he knows what he does! he knows he's good at it, i don't think there's any denying that. but under real praise he gets starry-eyed or he softens. he makes a big point out of presenting new things because that's what he's looking for. and i think that makes him so averse to the potential of failure. it's why he'll shrug it off or outright deny it when its brought up to him. he sucks so bad at taking responsibility lmao.

i think mind meld in particular is a very telling episode, especially the beginning of it. he gets rash and upset when he feels like he's doing too much on his own. he feels ignored and disrespected for his efforts, and makes bad decisions as a result. and between that and donnie's gifts it's very very obvious he is projecting the fact that he equates his usefulness, his role, to his self-worth as a person. a lot of that crowing confidence is not real. he is MAJORLY overcompensating just like leo is. (and i would also like to point out the kind of things he makes shelldon RESPOND to in smart lair before he's reprogrammed, like leo's ribbing)

idk, i just feel like donnie wants to be seen and leo wants to be able to see himself, although there is some overlap there and the two problems can bleed into each other.

(and i do think a big point of leo's arc in the movie is for him to genuinely stop being selfish. his insecurity gets in the way and he's thinking about himself when he acts, and that's what hurts people. all of them have the potential to be self-centered, but leo's behavior was putting people in danger, and he had to look past all of that because he has ALWAYS been a strong and capable person and a good leader, but he was afraid of it because he was setting the goalpost for himself too high, and it was RAPH'S thing. it all felt too daunting. he's never going to feel ready if he only thinks about himself. at a point it's just not about him. as dubious as his sacrifice at the end was, that was the point. get him some therapy for that blunder though)

and i think it has a lot of potential to make them clash in a really interesting way. donnie's like,,, got his THING!! leo is not CONFIDENT in his thing!! and he can't ever be better than donnie at his particular thing, so he LEAPS onto any chance to get one over on him, which clashes very badly with donnie's issues of easily feeling dejected or unappreciated. he's going to take that personally, and then leo is going to take donnie's bad interpretation of that behavior personally, because like... why doesn't donnie trust him? :((

anyways they are majorly twinning they are both dramatic unconfident bitches with self-worth issues and they both get louder and meaner when they feel hurt about something. its why i keep accidentally writing angst of the other when i try to write angst of one. ahaha lol oops

sorry ive had this blog for only a few hours i just needed to get my thoughts down mostly for myself. for writing purposes