#donnie is a smug little shit and i love him for that but people DO really just fall for the persona..... shame

[qoldenskies]

i think a lot of people pretty openly acknowledge that leo is someone that self-aggrandizes and acts reckless in order to compensate for his insecurities, which is true and it's very clearly spelled out especially in the movie, but i don't really see people acknowledge the fact that donnie is the EXACT same way (outside of people who specifically like to write a lot of angst for him. leo is forever designated sadboy of the fandom). which is sad, because i think it's the most twin-like thing about them!!

it's a trait they share pretty openly. same flavor of daddy issues, although leo is always wanting to look down, to be the BEST at something, to be admired and respected and trusted, to be above other people, while donnie is always wanting to look up, the whole approval from a parental aged adult thing is the largest example but i also think about his desperation for CAMARADERIE in the purple jacket, and also like, lol the entirety of mind meld. he wants to be understood and acknowledged and praised and he practically begs for it with everything he does.

both of them desperately want to impress! but i kind of interpret it as leo trying to make a point to himself more than to other people, because he is so caught up in his own self-judgement. it's why he can act rude or try to step over the others (raph especially, although early on there is some mutual toxicity in that relationship) in order to prove that point.

but donnie has a lot more self-security because he knows what he does! he knows he's good at it, i don't think there's any denying that. but under real praise he gets starry-eyed or he softens. he makes a big point out of presenting new things because that's what he's looking for. and i think that makes him so averse to the potential of failure. it's why he'll shrug it off or outright deny it when its brought up to him. he sucks so bad at taking responsibility lmao.

i think mind meld in particular is a very telling episode, especially the beginning of it. he gets rash and upset when he feels like he's doing too much on his own. he feels ignored and disrespected for his efforts, and makes bad decisions as a result. and between that and donnie's gifts it's very very obvious he is projecting the fact that he equates his usefulness, his role, to his self-worth as a person. a lot of that crowing confidence is not real. he is MAJORLY overcompensating just like leo is. (and i would also like to point out the kind of things he makes shelldon RESPOND to in smart lair before he's reprogrammed, like leo's ribbing)

idk, i just feel like donnie wants to be seen and leo wants to be able to see himself, although there is some overlap there and the two problems can bleed into each other.

(and i do think a big point of leo's arc in the movie is for him to genuinely stop being selfish. his insecurity gets in the way and he's thinking about himself when he acts, and that's what hurts people. all of them have the potential to be self-centered, but leo's behavior was putting people in danger, and he had to look past all of that because he has ALWAYS been a strong and capable person and a good leader, but he was afraid of it because he was setting the goalpost for himself too high, and it was RAPH'S thing. it all felt too daunting. he's never going to feel ready if he only thinks about himself. at a point it's just not about him. as dubious as his sacrifice at the end was, that was the point. get him some therapy for that blunder though)

and i think it has a lot of potential to make them clash in a really interesting way. donnie's like,,, got his THING!! leo is not CONFIDENT in his thing!! and he can't ever be better than donnie at his particular thing, so he LEAPS onto any chance to get one over on him, which clashes very badly with donnie's issues of easily feeling dejected or unappreciated. he's going to take that personally, and then leo is going to take donnie's bad interpretation of that behavior personally, because like... why doesn't donnie trust him? :((

anyways they are majorly twinning they are both dramatic unconfident bitches with self-worth issues and they both get louder and meaner when they feel hurt about something. its why i keep accidentally writing angst of the other when i try to write angst of one. ahaha lol oops

sorry ive had this blog for only a few hours i just needed to get my thoughts down mostly for myself. for writing purposes

[urplepurplegurgleturgle]

you should definitely rant to me about your iteration if you can.. I would absolutely love to learn abt it to possibly draw our iteration turts interacting.. /nf

I LITERALLY SURPRESS A SCREECH OKAY OKAY OKAY OAKY HHHHH SO

TMNT: Found Family is a teetle iteration based off of my friends!! I only have the turtles drawn out (and April planned in my head) but!!! I do have some of the basics:

Donnie (He/Her): He's based off of Tomi!! She's 14, the youngest of the four bros. Typically quiet around people (unless she freaks the fuck out) but he yaps A LOT when she's either alone or with her siblings. A lot of people mistake him as a very meek and mild individual, but in reality he's a violent BEAST filled with rage. The #1 hater ever. But overall she's very silly and critter-like...

Leo (He/him): The second youngest, based off of me! I would've made myself Donnie but. Then I'd just be drawing my sona SO... yeah... I decided to go with Leo because the person I relate to the most (after MM Don, ofc) is Rise Leo. For. Various reasons. But yeah. He's a 16 year old shithead who looooves playing pranks and being a smartass. He's academically smart but SUPER dense (a lot of shit goes over his head..), but also somehow extremely cunning and witty. Despite being a ball of unhinged chaos, he still ends up caring for his siblings like a dad because he's also an Anxious Idiot. Oh also he has a severe case of RBF syndrome

Mikey (He/him): I based him off of Val, he's 17 years old and the second oldest. Gay as fuck, I haven't shown his design yet but he's. Literally a walking rainbow (and I mean LITERALLY... wait until you see his scale patterning). Like Leo, he's a little shithead who teams up with the blue boy to prank everyone within a five mile radius. He's also somehow even more insufferable than Leo. It's probably because he's gay (DON HOMOPHOBIC REAL!??11/??!?!??!? /j). Despite being a seemingly fiery ball of energy, he gets pretty quiet with strangers. Actually, ALL of them get quiet with strangers. Autism sibs unite or something idk

Raph (She/They): The oldest of them all, being 18 years old!! She's based off of my beloved nee-chan Phantom. The (appointed) leader of the group, she has a major case of the Eldest Daughter syndrome. She's a very caring figure of them all, but despite seeming mature and calm, she's just as chaotic as the rest of them. She won't hesitate to condone murder (for the right reasons, of course) and doesn't really reprimand any of her brothers for their shenanigans. If anything, she laughs and cheers them on. I mean, as long as no one's getting hurt, it's all good, right??

April (She/Her): April is also 14, standing next to Donnie age-wise. She's based off of Cin.. I haven't developed her as much since I don't have her design down yet, but as far as I've thought, she's a very mischievous creature.. think of Anya's smug little "heh" face. That's basically her entire personality /hj. Despite being a little bitch (/lhaff) she's very sweet and won't hesitate to comfort her friends and family. Best little sister ever <- not biased at all

As for the storyline.... uh... haha um I. Haven't really thought that far?? Ik for a fact Splinter (who I haven't developed in the slightest) finds all four of the turtles individually as time goes on, with Raph being the first, then Donnie, then Mikey, and then finally Leo. That's why my iteration is titled "found family", because they all literally found each other (unintentionally, but still).

[desceros]

I no longer feel bad about asking about blurple villian might I ask some very pointed questions about Donnie’s side of the relationship for playlist purposes?

So what I’m hearing is it takes DonBon a little longer to um… get his ball rolling. So to speak. How many fights do he and Lamb Chan get into over Leo and does Leo know about it/rub it in Donnie’s face?

Gbs input would be appreciated as well (now when I reblog blurple villian stuff I wait a bit to make sure you two aren’t still going back and forth on the post lol)

never ever ever feel bad for blurple villain au posting

i think donnie and lamb-chan actually... don't really fight that much usually? not in the traditional sense. for the most part you're just like. oh donnie says that this is the best way to do things, so i'm going to trust that and do it. and if you say you want something, donnie usually is like ok well here you go. it's just very. easy. being with donnie. there's no real friction or fighting that ends up happening.

...except when it comes to leo.

ohhh man. you are stubborn as fuck about leo, and it makes donnie's teeth fucking paste with how hard he grinds them on this. he tries everything. talking to you. grabbing your arms and shaking you. a very memorable powerpoint presentation with diagrams and pictures. he puts a tracker on your coat that starts making an obnoxious beep when you get too close to leo's apartment, so you just take it off and leave it on a dumpster until you come back by.

(he promptly takes it off, because the thought of you out there, cold, is maybe worse than the thought of you being with that fucker. also bc leo snapped at him about it, genuinely angry, saying he'd had to warm you up bc your teeth were chattering, and knowing that leo put his fucking hands on you—that leo was right about how he'd hurt you—yeah. no more beeping trackers.)

leo, of course, absolutely loves this. i can just see him hiding in the fire escapes, watching over you on your way to his apartment with donnie trailing behind. you're ignoring him, nose in the air, as he tells you all the reasons that this is stupid, that leo is toxic, that you're better off staying in the lair. when he makes the mistake of insinuating that leo would hurt you, that's when you stop and wheel around, getting a little nasty right back in his face. leo has never once hurt you—not in a way you didn't ask for—and insinuating otherwise won't stand.

taking this moment to be the perfect little shit, leo jumps down and comes up behind you, pulling you close and sending his brother a smug smile. making matters worse, you grab leo's hand and pull him along behind you, leaving donnie behind with the sight of your stiff spine and leo's infuriating smirk. he goads the two of you on, wanting you to fight, hoping to push you away from donnie and closer to him.

...but, equally, i think your fights—as hot as they burn when they happen—are very, very quick to boil away. they never last more than a few hours before you're coming back together, apologizing, the two of you snuggling close and letting the gravity between you come to head. he hates making you angry, he really hates making you cry; you hate making him angry, you really hate making him sad.

once you start hooking up w donnie, this gets even more pronounced. i imagine you're very, very careful not to get into fights with donnie, giving him one or two more warnings that you're getting pissed when he starts sniping about leo. hence why the whole 'being little shits behind your back' thing starts happening. (because you are also very quick to defend donnie to leo, and your fuse on people saying shit about him is very, very, very short.)

@gbao3 tag youre it

[spectralsleuth]

Don't know if you're still accepting asks about LSoW, but you mentioned once that all of the turtles in your au are intersex, except Mikey. Can I ask why you made them so and why Mikey is the exception?

I'm always accepting asks about LSoW! :D I'm not the best about answering them because I have crippling anxiety, but I love getting asks. ;-;

Disclaimer first: Genuinely no disrespect to any intersex people, because chromosomal differences and IRL intersex conditions have near next nothing to do with (I cannot exaggerate this enough) TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES, the depiction of the Turtles in LSoW, or honestly, half the AU's with the same sort of headcanon. So keep that in mind. I strongly encourage people to do some research into actual intersex people and characteristics, because it isn't my intention at all to represent very normal people with (STILL CANNOT EXAGGERATE THIS ENOUGH) TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES. (Although if there IS an intersex person who reads LSoW and is like, hell yeah ninja turtles are just like me, more power to you brother. I wrote it for you and you only, I am kissing you gently on the head like a benevolent patron.)

That being said, 'intersex' was the best term I could come up with for this head canon, and fits so.

Reason 1: It's funny.

I am making Leonardo ninja turtle deal with turtle equivalent of periods, that is the funniest shit I will ever do. The idea that A: Raph dealt with it first, B: Leo was a smug shithead about it and then dealt with it a year after, and then C: Donnie was SMUGGER THAN HIM, and also dealt with it the NEXT WEEK? Hilarious. I am a comedy god.

Also I think I headcanoned Raph as having CJ with Casey a long time ago because Casey and Raph are soulmates in every universe. But problem is I headcanon Casey as TRANS, so how did they have Casey? Adoption is also great, but you know what would be FUNNIER-

(egg babey)

Reason 2: Mikey's personality. (Also, it's funny again.)

When Draxum was making the turtles in LSoW, he gave them all the bits and pieces he needed in order to make them effective yokai super soldiers. Man literally said 'I'm making a turtle that can hold a sword and do backflips, I'm gonna give it all this other stuff too, OBVIOUSLY.' But box turtles are already pretty territorial and aggressive? I think the reason I gave at the time was Draxum literally said, 'Michelangelo is already so territorial if I gave him estrogen he'd have killed the others.' (Which is a gross oversimplification of how turtles split gender in the egg, herpetologists pls don't @ me they're ninja turtles I am sorry.)

Also it's funny again because Mikey is also smug down the chain of brothers from oldest to youngest with not having to deal with this embarrassing problem, but then DOESN'T get whacked with the egg whammy stick like the others?? Smug youngest sibling?? Mikey asking Leo with fake sympathy, 'Oh, is it your troubles again?' and Leo is forced to try and kill him with a rock.

Reason 3: Draxum (Also STILL YET ANOTHER reason to be funny.)

Draxum figures in the far off distant future if his supersoldiers DO make nests and eggs, a very territorial and family oriented guard that DOESN'T nest would be super effective.

Imagine the post apocalypse future where Raph and Casey have CJ, and you are a simple resistance soldier. You are minding your business surveying Krang tunnels after a delicious breakfast of beetle protein bar shaped into dino-nuggie form courtesy of Donatello Hamato, and Mystic Master Michelangelo appears out of the shadows in a side tunnel and tries to skin you with a fork because you got within a half mile of his expecting brother and his ninja girl friend.

(The only Y/N fic I will ever write.)

I hope that answers the question!! Also reminder to everyone that even though I am taking a little break from TMNT, my fics are far from abandoned and I have them cooking along in the background. Most of the writing I get done is in spite of horrible unmedicated ADHD, anxiety, and being 30 years old with a very tiring job and increasingly troubling disability. That's not me complaining, but I think a little reminder that a lot of fic writers do this as a hobby. The second I feel the slightest bit of pressure I crumble away from fics like I've been cursed by a mummy, because feeling pressure from something so silly is wild to me.

This ask actually I think is a perfect way to show how to support your fave fic authors, and encourage them to continue writing! I actually had to sit down and think about my own notes, and talk over my reasoning with The Council in dm's (@/tangledinink and @/heck lol). So thanks!

[junsei-draws-rotasu]

Monkie Kid: A Hero Is Born Live blog rewatch

Before I can go to S3, the season I left off and avoided for sometime until it’s available to watch, I needed to refresh my memory.

Oh wow straight to the intro

I also forgot that this has the same studio that animated ROTTMNT cuz the animation is sick!

Fun fact I only started to watch this because of a TIKTOK video of Macaque

The fight sciences scenes😍

Not SWK trapping DBK under a mountain just like Buddha did to him 🙂

Is this how the Journey to the West really ended? I really want to read but I don’t have it in me to read it. I’m just waiting for Overly Sarcastic Productions to make their video

Wow, sick translation Narrator

Ngl I forgot how Monkie Kid characters sounds like. With the fanfics I had read I genuinely written off Tang having a smooth gentle voice

Although MK’s voices caught me off guard

!!! I never noticed this!

This is a nice wallpaper

A warthog vs a pig in cooking… not sure who’s going to win this one /s

M.K. has some nice jams to listen too

M.K. is like me with phone screens. Never bother fixing them :,)

There's our impulsive Monkey!

How does M.K. do that?! How did he climbs—ah anime cartoon logic combined together is dumber than normal

You know I just realized. If this was an anime, you know they would put fan service on Iron Fan Princess

Even SWK was surprised at MK

Is that bull a robot or those arms are just prosthetics?

Oh, it is a Robot… you would think the Robots they created wouldn’t have this much emotions in them.

“Deemed worthy can hold it” what is this? Excalibur?

Just what kind of mystic did you infuse in that gauntlet?

Oh wow, Red Son you actually did it! Didn’t remember that

Can you even call that a mountain anymore? It turned into a hill!

Ooooo, didn’t remember that broken horn on DBK

“I had returned to the world of the living!” You didn’t die DBK, just sealed 😒

"No go away" *proceeds to peck* SWK you little shit

Aw, Red Son’s little face when DBK said excellent 🥹

What’s nothing more romantic than having your first meeting of your partner than landing on them… literally

I’m just giddy and amused by Red Sons antics on trying to look cool and impress his father

“Noodle boy” Oop, he said it!

Really want to put ADHD on M.K.’s character sheet cuz he just zoned out by looking at SWK staff

The two kids in the room having exaggerated expressions while the adults are just there with tired and confuse expression XD

Ah, I seem to forget that M.K. is also a little shit

With DBK’s exaggerated movements, I think I know where Red Son’s love of theatrics came from

The vehicle looks out of place

Not the noodles!

Red Son, why are you always ready to combust?… actually wait, don’t answer that

Oh that poor women’s apartment! How will she pay for it???

“Pigsy going to kill me🥹” Not if Red Son kills you first

Does the actual toy of the car really have a motorcycle inside?

Now how did Mei know M.K. was in trouble?

Ows, the property damage 😬

We all need Mei as a friend. I would know, because I am her

Something rare and expensive… go to a museum, but remembering the plot, it has to be a shoe

I'm sooo using this as a reaction

Props to the cashier to tell an intimidating person to go back in line

This feels like a fever dream but it's not

They’re immediately got to Flower Fruit Mountain?! Where’s the gag of day and night cycles going too fast?! Missed opportunity really

Technology defeated magic, oh how Rise!Donnie would be so smug

Here’s the cliche protag team thinking the MC is dead but they’re really not

Aw 🥺

You know they’re really angry when they’re smiling instead of raging

To think that staff used to be a pillar of a Sea Dragon God

Not my boy M.K. releasing the recent traumatic event he went through

Comparing Sha Wujing and Sandy… they look nothing alike… is this why people likes to write fanfics where Sandy killed Sha Wujing?

Yeah I don’t recall this magical sequence…

Aw, M.K. 🥹

Once again, I’m taken back at the voice

And here I thought it was fanon that SWK had his eye on M.K. as his successor for a while

Man, I would be mad at SWK for thrusting this kid into this situation but I remember now SWK is sooooo

“You believe in ourselves” that… does sound like a good plan

Convenient

Wow M.K. got rebirth into a stone egg

I was about to comment on how history going to repeat itself then I remember the future episodes I’m going to watch and DBK clearly not trap under something

Ow, that’s going to hurt

I’m having severe flashbacks of Krang vs Leo fight here qwq

Here’s the toy shot

I finally get it! Red Son's nickname for Mei! It's because Mei represents the dragon that turned into a horse in the Journey to the West! Wow!

And finished!

[7spaceace7]

Secrets (A Donatello x Reader)

This is incredibly self-indulgent and was really just a fic for me to obsess over tesla coils, but my girlfriend convinced me to post it- so here it is! It got kind of long too, but I hope you enjoy! 

Word Count: 3236

Reader is given feminine terms in this one

Mild cursing (thank you Raph)

Absolute fluff attack, the sweetness will rot your teeth

Singing was your greatest passion. From a young age, you had been roped into music, the emotions it could represent with just a few notes and some relatable lyrics. It was happiness, it was sadness, it was anger and excitement, and it was everything you couldn’t express well enough with just words. Being a writer, sometimes that would get frustrating, but music helped you overcome the most challenging spots in a new piece or story. This is why you would constantly have earbuds in as you sang along to every song you’d memorized on your Spotify shuffle. 

And Donnie noticed this. Every time you would enter the turtles’ lair, he would see you unplug and pack-up your headphones. Hell, he was even able to detect your singing from the sounds of the sewer tunnels echoing with every step you took closer. He’d hear you talk about the music or soundtracks of your favorite games and movies, analyzing what every slight twinge or reprise would allude to. And he loved every part of it. He loved getting to see those moments where music was all you could focus on. Your heart rate rose exponentially in anticipation and excitement. Your eyes would screw shut while you broke into a grin. Your hands would mimic motions to the beat as you played on invisible drums, or strummed a nonexistent guitar. 

It was adorable to him, to say the least. But he never told you so. He never said a word, in case this might scare you off for coming across as “creepy” or weird. He knew most people probably didn’t pay this close attention to little things like that, but then again, he also knew that most people weren’t madly in love with you. 

Which Donatello was. 

He couldn’t tell you, because once he started rambling about you, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop. And if he didn’t stop, then he’d run the 89.07% chance risk of telling you how he’d been in love with you since the day they met you. That was way too high for him to be comfortable. No, he couldn’t tell you, no matter how badly he wanted you to know.

“Okay, so what if you just show ‘er you’re interested instead?” Raph asked, half paying attention to his brother’s predicament, half pounding the punching bag before him into the ground. Leo was in the dojo meditating, and Mikey was playing video games in the living room, which left the two middle brothers to their own devices. For Donnie, this was literally. His three-fingered hands fiddled with his latest electrical circuit. It was bound for sending the right amount of voltage into his inventions without needing four power strips and a generator all on their own. Unfortunately, he was too distracted to actually delve into its components, and settled for breaking and piecing it back together again.

“Show her? How would I do that?” Donnie’s voice trembled at the thought.

“I dunno, you’re the genius here,” Raph huffed, “There’s gotta be somethin’ in this place that you think she’d find cool. She loves music, right?”

“Yeah, like a lot, she even-”

“Rhetorical question, Don, heard the rant plenty,” His brother cut him off. Pausing his violent onslaught of the dummy, he turned to face him. “You’re nervous ‘cause you ain’t ever done somethin’ for a pretty girl before, I get it. So do somethin’ you know you’re good at. That’ll take the nerves off, your plan works, and then I won’ have to listen to you babbling about whatever new fuckin’ thing she did today. Win win.”

The younger turtle paused. “That was...actually pretty sound advice, thank you, Raph.”

“Anytime,” Raph nodded, a smug smile tugging at his lips from being able to help. Problem was, now he was invested. He’d listened to his brother’s rants and rambles and failed plans of possibly confessing for weeks now, what was gonna happen once he finally did it? Raph plopped onto one of Donnie’s bean bag chairs. He didn’t bother to pick up the training dummy. “So what ya gonna do, smart guy?”

Donnie blinked a few times, glasses twitching on his nose as he pushed them up. He didn’t know it, but you coined this his “brainstorming face”. He fiddled with the circuits once again.

“Uh...I’m not sure,” His tongue went dry. A million ideas fly through his brain each minute, and this decides to be the time that he can’t think of a single one good enough. Figures. “I could build her something? Maybe a new stereo, or upgrade the one she has.”

Raph made a noise of disapproval. “You can do better, any old fix-it guy could do that.”

“Fair. Maybe I could- ow!”

A short buzz of the air cut him off as his fiddling paid off. To the world’s great irony, a light bulb several inches away lit up.

“You good?”

“Yeah, I’m good, I…” Donnie trailed off. The purple-clad turtle’s eyes widened as he registered what happened. “I’m better than good, I just had an epiphany!”

“Epipha-what?”

“An epiphany, sudden realization, an idea!” Donnie flicked his goggles back down, enhancing his vision with the magnifier on it. Wires were tugged in and out, and a transmitter was displaced. With a snort of triumph, he raised it to the air for his brother to see. “This is the answer!” 

“A tiny board thing. Just what she’s always wanted,” Raph rolled his eyes, but Donnie was prepared for this.

“Not just a tiny board, a tiny board with this!-” With great haste, Donnie was next to Raph, holding the board out properly. “My side-side project, this little thing, look at the coil here, this is it! This is a tesla coil, capable of transmitting thousands and thousands of volts of energy surging through the air, powering anything within its radius, which is perfect and exactly why I needed to reconfigure it to power my lab and this one new machine I’m working on, but that’s not why this is the perfect idea!”

“Wow, please continue, professor, I’m dyin’ to know.”

“Glad you asked! Watch this!” One aux cord, T-Phone connection, and light-dimming later, the lab went dark in anticipation. And suddenly, with the press of a play button on Donnie’s shuffle, music started to fill the air. But it wasn’t coming from his phone. It was coming from the coils, surging and creating not only electric energy that was visible to the human eye as it sparked, but music. Sound. The beats and notes of the song playing sprouted out in the form of electricity.

Raph’s green eyes became transfixed on the sparks flying out. “Holy shit.”

“Holy shit is right!” Came the squeals of utter nerding out, “This is only a tabletop version of an SGTC circuit, my own type of it anyway based on Tesla’s original designs, but if I reworked it, made it bigger, made it lifelike and maybe four or five of them, I could create the most advanced musical performance this city has ever seen!”

“I’m gonna pretend I know everything you just said because clearly this is your nerd thing,” Raph started, utterly confused. Even still, a reassuring smile framed his features. “But this looks pretty damn cool. This right here? Exactly what ‘m sayin’, Don.  This is you.”

“Do you think she’ll like it...?” Donnie asked in a hopeful voice. He wasn’t just asking about the invention. 

“Course she will.”

~x~

A couple weeks had passed since that fateful conversation with Raph. He’d been in and out of the lab since then, but between patrols and the mandatory bathroom breaks, there was hardly a time he wasn’t working on his great new project. You weren’t even allowed to go into the lab, per his request, for all his time there.

However, he always made sure to make at least one movie whenever you’d come hang out at the lair from work.

Finally, one Friday night, the set up was complete. Pride swelled in Donnie’s chest as he looked at his creation: six symmetrically placed tesla coils sprung up from the ground and walls all around his lab space. The coilings wrapped around metal frames, spiraling into a beautiful arrangement of engineering, if he did say so himself. Mikey said it looked like the lasers out of a DC comic, which was also not a bad thing to be. He just hoped that you would like it. All of it was for you, of course, but over the weeks that he’d been preparing it, he found more beauty in the music of tesla coils than he ever had appreciated before. 

Donnie thought he might thank you for that, if he could get his nerves around it.

God, he was so nervous. Anxiety rushed through his body like the electric pulses he was perfecting. They were already done, but it was all he could do to distract himself while waiting for you to arrive. Maybe the frequencies weren’t in the right key. What if they sounded better this way? Or maybe the firing power wasn’t enough? Trajectory looked alright, maybe it just-

“Donnie?”

“Gh! Y/N, hey!” Stammered the surprised terrapin after knocking his head against the top of a coil. His goggles were on the setting of night-vision, but that didn’t account for night-spatial-awareness, it seemed.

“I got your text to come,” You tried to smile at him, but the dark laboratory proved to make that difficult. “How come it’s so dark in here?”

“Uh, well, that’s p-part of the surprise! Eheh. Gimme just a second-”

You waited patiently outside of his lab, vision still applicable, but grew concerned the more strange noises and clangs you heard coming from inside. This was definitely a whole new level of “Donnie Surprises” just by how nervous he seemed about it.

You yelped when his hand grabbed your arm and dragged you back inside the darkness.

“Okay, uh,” He started, before clapping his hands together for the lights to switch back on, “This is what I wanted to show you.”

Your gaze spun all around the lab. After adjusting to the light, you could clearly see giant mechanism after mechanism placed strategically around in a dome-like setup. Coils that protruded like round-edged spikes circled you both, and in the center was a metal cage. 

“Oh my god…” You almost whispered. A large grin broke out onto your face as you stared in quiet marvel at the scene. His plan was working, and Donnie lit up with an outstretched arm in presentation.

“These bad boys are called tesla coils-”

“Tesla coils!” You squealed in imperfect unison to what you assumed was the start of an explanation. “You made tesla coils, Donnie, holy shit!”

“You’ve heard of them?!” Donnie exclaimed, eyes widening behind his glasses.

“YES!” Your hands began to wave around excitedly, “Oh my god I used to be OBSESSED with these things! I heard about when I was a kid from that old movie, oh what was it, it was like the apprentice’s-”

“Sorcerer’s Apprentice!”

“THAT! Yes!” 

“I haven’t seen that movie in years!”

“Me neither! All I remember is that Hiccup’s voice actor totally nerded out and programmed his giant tesla coils to play music for the girl he wanted to impress, and it was the coolest thing because these giant machines were playing music, music out of nothing but sparks of electricity at different frequencies, which to be honest probably would have caused more of an energy problem than the movie suggested because goddamn do they take up a lot of power, but I was like six and didn’t care!” You laughed  in an energetic burst of word association, practically bouncing on the balls of your feet.

Donnie could have kissed you then and there for that alone. 

A grin crept onto his lips as he watched you ramble on about the movie, leaving all anxious thoughts to fall from his mind. For once, someone actually understood one of his passions. Better than that, she was explaining the process to him of all people! Sure, she was intuitive enough to know he didn’t need it, he literally had just built them after all. This was just out of pure excitement. Someone in his life was talking about science and technology like they were the most fascinating things on the planet, just as the purple-masked turtle believed it was. Well, second only to the ecstatic girl in front of him. 

“-And so, I randomly remembered it again not that long ago, so I looked it up and found so many videos on YouTube about it. I kid you not, I listened to tesla coils and tesla coils alone for a solid week.” 

You breathed heavily, a little winded after such an intense info-dump. God, he always loved when you got excited about something. 

“This is kind of surreal,” Donnie chuckled a bit, pushing up his glasses when they tumbled down his nose, “I had no idea you’d get what these were, much less have known so much about them.” Donnie’s eyes widened at his own panicked-fueled blabbering. “N-Not that I think you’re stupid! I just-- I mean it’s not-- common? It’s more of-”

“A niche interest, yeah. No worries,” You finished for him, signaling his stuttered words hadn’t fallen on offended ears. Donnie quietly sighed in relief. Time ticked by in seconds, but even that was much too fast for this martial artist to grasp. If he could have constructed a device to pause the fabrics of time, he would have long ago, simply to relish the moments with you that meant everything to him. It wasn’t your fault your eyes captivated him more than any element he’s worked with.

“So,” You began eagerly, startling him out of his thoughts, “Are we gonna listen to some zappy poles go brrr or what?”

Donnie snorted at your juvenile word choice. “Yeah, totally. Now, ah,” He walked over toward the large cage in the center, stepped inside, then poked his head out with a dorky grin. A large, green hand stood outstretched towards you. “I think you’d better step inside my cage.”

“If you keep quoting the damn movie like this, I am going to explode from excitement, and it will be your fault!” It was a wonder how you hadn’t caught onto his plan yet, honestly. You made no sense of hesitation before grabbing his offered hand (even though your hands were small enough that they hardly matched his palm’s size), and clambered into the cage in front of him. This was a great excuse for you to be close to him without it being weird. And now, with your back brushing up against his plastron, the butterflies in his chest told him it was totally a good call.

Donatello would take this secret to his grave, however.

“Put your hands on the rail here, yep just like that,” Donnie nodded after your hands found the safeguard rail. A couple buttons tapped into a laptop later, he settled his own hands next to yours. “Let the magic begin.”

Magic would have been the understatement of the year. A coil in front of you quickly shot out its first spark. Familiar music breached the sound barrier to your ears. The one behind you both caught it instantly. Spark after spark sent back and forth between the coils, soaring through the lab like the most incredible game of electric catch.

“Whoa!” You laughed when the sparks would bounce off the cage itself, pressing closer to the turtle behind you (much to his surprise every time). Your shining e/c eyes never left the electric bolts shooting out. “This is insane!”

“Heh, glad you like it!” Donnie watched you closely that entire time, more entranced by your excitement and wonderstruck self than anything he’d created. He could power up the tesla coils anytime of day, but this was a special moment he’d never be able to recreate in a controlled environment. This was no experiment, this was real and it was happening right now. 

The only thing left to do was tell you how he felt. 

“Y/N, I have to tell you something,” He began, stepping away to give you a bit of space. His heart rate was increasing by the second. The way you turned to look at him wasn’t helping, either. 

“What is it?” You spoke softly, somehow able to be heard over the music. Donnie could hardly meet your eyes, so he took your hands in his instead.

“I...I don’t know how to say this exactly,” He started, “I’ve been trying to do it for months, going over every possible conjuncture of words, something that would be heartfelt and honest, poetic even? But the truth is, words aren’t my thing, th-they never have been. I’m a science guy, I take things apart and put them back together again, I figure out what makes them work, I see life as a million tiny parts to analyze.”

He paused his quickened speech to take a breath. Your hands squeezed his larger ones as an offer to continue.

“And so, I’m...bad at feelings. I see it all as chemicals and components used by the brain to create action and reaction. But now I’m not so sure if that’s all they are, and really the only thing I am sure about is that it’s because of you that I’m questioning everything I ever thought I knew. Maybe, maybe life is more than atoms and chemicals, and instead it’s about..moments. Moments like this. Moments that...that I..that I really want to keep forever and play over and over again.”

“Donnie…” You spoke. This time he squeezed your hands.

“I know I’m rambling and I should really get to the point, so what I’m trying to say is,” He took another breath, steady this time. His gaze met yours again. “I want to live these moments with you every day. You’re special to me. You’re part of our family, but this is more than that, this feeling is-”

“Love.” You finished for him. Both of your eyes widened as you realized the other felt how you each did.  

Donatello nodded slowly, hesitant to be so certain, but knowing it was true. There were no more words to be exchanged after that, only actions, only movements so soft and gentle that the large terrapin was certain he’d break if they could fit in his hands. Your hands left his and instead reached up to grab the long ends of his mask, and tugged gently for him to reach you. He leaned down without a thought. A three-fingered hand found your waist this time. 

You kissed. Soft, human lips connected to his slightly chapped reptilian ones. The turtle had waited for this moment since he realized the attraction he felt towards you was not just powerful chemical reactions, but true feelings. It wasn’t biology, it was chance and fate and one-in-a-million all at once. As the sparks continued to (literally) fly, Donnie let his eyes close. This was the present. He was here, he was holding a great new adventure in his hands, and there was a brilliant future just around the corner. 

The song may have finished, but this is what would last forever. 

[scammydoesstuff]

So about that 'Blue Bloods' episode…

I recently saw something come across my dash regarding Alex Brightman’s guest appearance on the season 11 episode of 'Blue Bloods' (The Common Good) and it reignited the vehement response I had to the episode as a whole. And, since I have this blog now, I figured…fuck it. I need to rant about it.

So that's what this is.

Take what I say with a grain of salt, of course. This show is so clearly not for me and I acknowledge that, but I went to school for and got my degree in creative writing and so much of this episode pissed me off from a narrative perspective and I just really need to talk about it. Putting it under a Read More, though, so you can ignore me if you’d like while I rage to no one in particular. Apologies in advance if you choose to read on. I'm super long-winded. Luckily I don't have pictures and this is more of just a lot of text, so…it could be longer?

So, to begin, I’ll freely admit that I’d never seen an episode of 'Blue Bloods' before this and I’ve not watched it since. I mean, if the rest of the episodes are as badly written as this one, I have no interest to either, but I digress.

Overall my main problem with the episode was how desperately it avoided ‘showing’ over ‘telling’ and, as a visual medium, that’s kind’ve a big deal. We were told pretty much every detail that was presented to us. These people love to hear themselves talk, but do little to actually show things as they happen and I believe a part of that has to do with the focus of the show itself, which is definitely unique to this brand of television. By that, I just mean that it’s not the format I might’ve expected from a show like this. Most cop shows give a lot of focus to the cases, and the intrigue you get with the characters is how they apply their own skills and knowledge to solve them, with the hi-jinks they get into along the way being more of a bonus.

This is not that kind of show.

No, 'Blue Bloods' as a show is way more interested in the cops and their familial ties than it is about the actual job that they’re doing, as shown prominently with the political plot of this episode which was also very focused on the relationship between Tom Selleck’s character and his daughter and the wholly unrelated dinner scene where they talk about lent for 2 and a half minutes and acknowledge nothing else that happened in the episode. This show doesn’t care about the job of being a cop so much as it cares about the cops themselves.

Which would be fine if I gave a shit about cops, but I don’t.

You could argue that the mentor plot is the exception to that, but that entire situation had no real consequences for the cop in question, Jamie, abusing his power. It was entirely focused on how the situation affected him and how it was fine that he’d nudged this kid to get information which ultimately led to the arrest of Dion's brother, and Dion quitting the program. Hell, if Jamie had, in his final scene with Dion, owned up to his abuse of power and left the program — to then urge Dion to rejoin so that he can have that positive outlet in his life without him there — I would’ve been way more okay with it, but Jamie faces no consequences past ‘I don’t wanna see you anymore’, which I was never convinced he actually cared about in the slightest. There's nothing cathartic about it, it's just shitty and left me feeling frustrated at the lack of consequences for the cop.

But hey, you prolly don’t wanna read me going on and on about those parts. You prolly wanna know why I hate it despite Alex’s plot — which I fully expected to love because he’s perfect and gorgeous even when he’s playing a bad guy and he was just so adorable in his lil suit and they let him keep the scruff this time, and he was all handsome an— I need to stop. That could go on forever.

Anyway, to put it simply; it was bad, but I'll definitely explain why.

Now, I don’t think any of the guests in this episode necessarily did a bad job. They still acted well enough for what they were given. I just think they had a shit script that wasn’t interested in that story line. I mentioned at the top of this that this show cared more about telling than showing and that’s a huge problem when you want me to buy a character being the culprit in your murder plot. I need evidence, not anecdotes. Cuz, yeah, by the end of the episode, I didn’t buy for even a second that Ralph did it. And it’s not because he was played by Alex who is just charisma incarnate. I can believe him playing a bad guy. I also watched his 'Law & Order SVU' episode where he scared the shit outta me. He can play a creepy and violent character very well, he just wasn’t convincing to me as a bad guy in this show.

And here’s why!

First of all, he confessed at knife point. That confession would be thrown away IRL. It’s the same problem with using torture to get information. If a person’s life is threatened or they're being harmed in some way, they’ll usually say whatever it takes to get you to stop threatening them/causing them pain. Same deal here. You can’t convince me with a confession like that.

But they didn't seem to be interested in convincing anyone as far as I could tell. They just expected you to believe it because, ‘no, didn’t you hear? He said he did it, so he did it.’ They had so many opportunities to portray this character as the shitbag that we’re told he is. Hell, great way to really implicate him? Give him a female assistant that Donnie Wahlberg and his partner overhear / walk in on him berating for something small like getting him the wrong coffee or something. Then have them talk to that assistant later on and her mention some weird behavior from him on the night of Andrea’s death. It's cliché, but it's more than what we got.

Or you could have him talk to Meghan in a super condescending voice when he approaches her after her interview later on. Or, hell, have him refer to the murder victim in a condescending way even as he talks about her death. But no. The most we get out of him is that he's maybe a little snarky and smug when talking to the cops, but that’s not enough to convince me he’s a bad dude. Frankly, his producer buddy came off as more of an asshole, if I'm being honest. Just cuz (we’re told) his character did shitty things to her in the past doesn’t mean he’s still shitty. Show me he’s still shitty. I wanna see it and I know Alex is capable of a performance like that.

Second, it’s also just…obvious to make him the culprit if we're to believe everything we're told about him. He and Andrea are described as having had beef a little while before the murder with him being abusive mentally and physically. He’s known in the community to be a misogynist and an abusive person overall. He’s the obvious suspect, but if there’s anything that Scooby-Doo taught me, it’s that it’s never the most obvious person. Like, once in a blue moon, sure — but it’s rare.

So yeah, I don’t believe that Ralph did it. You wanna know who I do think did it?

Meghan.

Alright, so bear with me. This'll prolly sound a little conspiratorial, but hear me out:

She had the motive. She confirms in the beginning of the episode that she’s also a female gamer like the victim, but that she was ‘no Andrea’. Andrea was her competition. They were (supposedly) friends and stuck together as female gamers, but Andrea was still competition. With her out of the way, Meghan’s able to rise in the ranks, if even a little bit.

She had a scapegoat in Ralph — again, the obvious suspect given his tumultuous relationship with Andrea sometime prior — and an obvious grudge against men in their community in general. And, don’t get me wrong, men in gaming can and often are hella toxic — I’m not, in any way, denying that — but she got way more emotional when talking about the men in their community than when she was talking about her supposed friend lying dead in the adjoining room.

Speaking of the adjoining room, how did she not hear the murder happening? It couldn’t have been when she was down in the bar, cuz we see Ralph there too in the crappy CCTV footage that was supposed to show him being an asshole, I think (hard to really see). Was she just fucking around somewhere else when it happened? She doesn’t mention as much that I recall (correct me if I'm wrong on that, of course). And Andrea was strangled to death. I would assume that there would’ve been a struggle with that. Are you seriously telling me she wouldn’t hear that in her adjoining hotel room? Those walls aren’t that thick. I find that kinda hard to believe. And that she wouldn’t have found her till the next morning after that, also strikes me as a little odd.

Going off on some previous points, she shows very little grief over her friend’s death. Not just in the intro scene, either, but later on as well. (Side bar: that intro scene itself was very misleading. Don’t lead with a murder plot if it only takes up less than 10 minutes of the overall runtime, kay?) The show did a pretty bad job at indicating the passage of time, but it’s implied that the convention is still happening when Meghan gets the confession out of Ralph, so it would’ve had to have been the same weekend, or possibly the same week (though most conventions I’m aware of don’t last that long — it’s usually a weekend thing, at most Thursday-Sunday — but it could be similar to AGDQ, which seems to last about a week). So, if this is only a day or so later, why would someone who is supposedly grieving over their dead friend do interviews like nothing is wrong? Wouldn't you, like, reschedule or just politely decline and say you need time to process the shock? Like, when we cut to ol’ Donnie Wahlberg calling her after her interview, she doesn’t look upset — as I imagine she might if they’d likely asked her questions about Andrea / her feelings about the murder — and she seems cool as a cucumber when she asks Ralph to go somewhere private. In fact, the look on her face indicates pretty clearly that she’s planning to do something. Specifically, not that she's scared, that she's angry.

Finally, she’s the one who’s attacking Ralph when Donnie Wahlberg and company arrive on the scene. She doesn’t seem to have any marks on her indicating that he made any move to harm her (again, correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't remember seeing her with any marks / cuts), but he’s got a clear, bleeding cut on his face. She attacked him first and was going in for the kill.

Or…was she? Cuz right before Donnie Wahlberg pulls her into that bear hug to stop her from the attack, she doesn’t do a great job of actually trying to kill Ralph. She was close enough that a quick dart at him would’ve probably been enough to at least injure him pretty significantly — maybe even fatally — and would’ve surely led the cops to pull them apart to secure him, but she kinda just hops around a bit and screams before lunging for him. That’s a really weird way to attack when you actually want to kill someone.

But, then again, I don’t necessarily think she did want to kill him. I’m convinced she wanted that confession, but that she also wanted him in jail and was playing the part of the super sad and hysterical victim who was just so overcome with her grief that she wasn’t in her right mind. I think that’s what they were going for in regards to her character in general, but it came across as less sincere in the performance and more like the character was putting on an act. They then cart Ralph off while comforting her — despite the fact that she disobeyed a direct order from police, which should lead to her being detained as well! — and that plot ends.

So, she gets what she wants in the end. A person she despises is now in police custody, her competition is out of the way, and the publicity she might get for bringing that ‘murderer’ to justice might eventually lead to her own career getting a nice boost. I dunno, it just strikes me as her having a great reason to have initiated this over Ralph just being a misogynist who 'was really trying to kill Meghan and just got the wrong girl'.

So yeah, with what the show presented to us, I believe Meghan’s the real killer. Again, if they’d done more to show me that Ralph was a bad dude or that she was more affected by her supposed friend’s death, or if they'd just given that plot more room to breathe to show those things, I might’ve been more inclined to buy the narrative they were pushing but…as is, I don’t believe it.

That’s pretty much all I wanted to say on the matter. I had a lot of issues with the domestic abuse plot line too, but they barely gave that 5 minutes of the overall runtime, so does it really matter in the long run? This is just…my thought process of the only part of the episode I watched for and how disappointing it was for me. And yes, I timed each section of the episode to figure out how much time was given to each of the 4 plots, plus the dinner scene at the end, but not counting the intro theme, and the murder plot got just over 8 minutes, of which Alex was on screen for half of that time. He got less than 5 minutes of screen time. It was definitely worth it just because he’s wonderful and I just like seeing him on these shows, but from a narrative standpoint, it felt pointless.

Okay, I’m done. Thank you for coming to my TED talk. Unless y’all wanna talk about this some more, cuz I’m so down for that.

[skylarmoon71]

TMNT 2014/2016 Raphael x Reader-(Short Story) Chapter 2

"You should have just let me take him, he was right there! "

"Come on Raph, we're just supposed to help not make it worse. Besides, we stopped the train. They won't be bringing in any more weapons." Raph grumbled, sheathing both his blades. Apparently they were discussing what took place in their most recent case. Raph lived to defy Leo, it wasn't anything new.

"Whatever, next time I'm going out on my own." he shoved Leo as he brushed passed. Leo grabbed his shoulder, halting him. 

"You're not going out on your own, we do this together Raph!" You really hated it whenever they fought. Despite that, you never said anything when it got like this. Even Mikey and Donnie knew better. Raph pushed Leo back roughly, and the blue bandana turtle hit a shelf close by. Lucky for him he had his shell to take the brunt of the hit. Unlucky for you, you didn't. You were on the other side of the cupboard, and when it started to fall you panicked.

Raph saw it falling, yelling out for you. You braced your hands, closing your eyes. You heard a few items clattering to the floor at the sides of you, but when you realized you were unharmed you looked up. Donnie had his arms spread, holding up the cupboard. He lifted it in the other direction, bracing it back against its previous spot. "Are you alright?" Leo was at your side in an instant, and you sighed relieved. You smiled at Donnie who was already checking your body for injuries.

"T-Thank you Donnie you might have just saved my life." He gave a sheepish smile rubbing his neck.

"I-It was nothing. "

Now that the danger was over, Leo glared at his brother. He stomped in his direction enraged. "What the hell are you doing! You could have really hurt (Y/N)!" You stepped over placing a hand on Leo's arm to calm him down.

"I-It's fine Leo. I-It was an accident. H-He didn't mean to." Raph would never intentionally harm you.

"Yeah Leo, listen to your girlfriend. " That made you a little annoyed. Because he was already angry, you just let it slide. Leo was still sizing Raph up, and you knew you wouldn't be able to handle it if they got into another fist fight because of you. Leo glanced down at the unease in your eyes. Reluctantly, his shoulders slumped. He stepped down, and Raph just wore an arrogant smirk.

"Just like you to fold. Sometimes I wonder why you're the leader." Leo didn't reply, taking your hand and guiding you out the room. You wanted to stay there and try to get both brothers to work out the problem, but you didn't have it in you to pull away from Leo's hold, especially since he looked so worried when he thought you would get buried under the cupboard. So as he pulled you along, you sent a longing look in Raph's direction. He looked up at the last second, right before you went around the corner. That split second, you could have sworn you saw a hint of hurt in his eyes.

~~~

"Are they still fighting?" you were chatting with Donnie on your cell phone. It was pretty late, and you knew you wouldn't be able to sneak out, so you were in your room, laying down on your bed.

"Yeah, don't worry too much. Master Splinter will make sure they don't go at each other's throats." you smiled.

"That's good to hear. Well I'll check in tomorrow. Spring break is about to begin so I'll get to spend more time with you guys."

"That's-"

"Hey is that (Y/N)? Dude what's up!!" you laugh hearing Mikey in the background.

"Hey Mikey, I was just telling Donnie about the upcoming break. We may finally get to settle that score in Call of Duty."

"I'm so gonna kick your butt!" You couldn't wait.

"I'll be looking forward to it." you spoke. After giving your goodbyes, you hung up the phone, flopping back on the mattress. Somehow you'd become a little better at interacting. Before meeting the turtles you pretty much avoid interacting with people.

For good reason to. But with them, it was never a challenge. Leo was like an older brother. Mikey the goofy childish younger brother. Donnie was like a middle child. Smart, techy and a little bit of a dork. Raph was obviously the rebel. Even with all their differences, it was weird that you found comfort trusting them rather than your own species.

Maybe it was because the turtles lived by a code. They were natural born protectors, saviors. At heart, their main purpose in life was helping. And they did. They helped you, not just physically. But also mentally, emotionally. If you could offer them the world, you would do it without a second thought.

You flinched when you heard a small knock on the glass on your window. You looked over at the curtains. Maybe it was a bat? You stepped out of bed, moving to check the glass. When you shifted the curtain, you were shocked at who was hanging unto your window sill.

"R-Raph!" you slapped your hand against your mouth, because that came out much louder than intended. Opening the window, you ushered him inside quickly. As soon as you did it you ran over, turning the latch on your door.

He was lucky your room was located in the back of the house, covered by trees in your yard. It would be pretty awkward if you had to explain him to your neighbors.

Now that you were no longer in autopilot, you stood by the door. Raph was still by your window. He rolled his shoulders after climbing through the small space. And now he was just standing there, clearly unsure of what to do, or say.

"This is awkward.." you had absolutely no idea why he came, and the fact that neither of you had ever had an actual conversation alone didn't help your nerves.

"This is stupid." He groused. You kept playing with your fingers. "W-Why are you....is something wrong back home with Leo?" at the mention of his brother's name his face turned sour. "It's always about him isn't it. Leo. I came all the way here to apologize to you and that's all you have to say!"

Unconsciously you took a step back. You never did like it when he yelled. Especially since this was the first time it was directed at you. Not just that, but yelling right now wasn't the best thing since your parents were only a couple doors down. He must have realized, because he turned his head. "Forget about it. I don't even know why I came." You could feel him fuming from all the way over there. And as much as you wanted to say something, you'd already irritated him, you didn't want to say anything to make it worse. Although at this point just about anything would.

"I'm sorry." you whispered. Raph stopped in his spot, looking over his shoulder.

"I-I know I barely ever talk to you. And I always make things awkward when it's us two. I don't mean too. A-And I didn't mean to get you in trouble with Leo the other day. I-It's my fault that you guys are fighting right now." In a way it was.

Raph sighed defeatedly. He came to apologize, and instead he scared you into doing what he should have done the moment he stepped in, instead of picking a fight.

"You didn't do anything wrong. I'm the one that always messes everything up."

"That's not true." When you said that he turned to you fully. You burrowed your hands behind your back, finally feeling a little confident now that he wasn't as pissed.

"You do have a bad temper, and you suck at taking orders, but you don't mess things up." Where those words came from, you had no clue. But you were liking your sudden boldness.

"Your brothers depend on you. You guys have each other, no matter how much you think you mess up, they'll always be there for you. You just need to be better at working through your issues rather than just walking away from them."

Raph was just standing there listening, he seemed to be actually taking in you words. When he sent you a small grin your cheeks darkened.

"Here I thought you were just a little shrimp. You're a lot braver than you look. " you giggled softly. "I mean, compared to you guys I really am." you joked. Raph was smiling at you, actually smiling. He looked so damn sexy when he smiled. "No! Stop it stupid brain! I'm actually having a conversation with him, don't' ruin it!" Right now really wasn't the best time to fall for his charms.

"Thanks (Y/N)." He was thanking you. Could your night get any better.

"(Y/N) sweety are you alright?" you stiffened, and Raph looked side to side panicking.

"Aw shit!" he mouthed. You shook your hands advising him not to make a sound or move.

" I thought I heard yelling."

"I-I'm fine Mom. It was j-just a nightmare. I didn't want to wake you or dad. I-I'm sorry."

"Nightmares, do you want to talk about it." you could tell she was offering to stay awake longer to help you.

"I'm really fine mom, I promise. It was nothing. I'm going to go back to sleep. "

"Are you sure? I can make you a cup of tea or something. "

"There's no need. I promise I'm fine. Just go back to sleep." She lingered at the door for a while, before she relented. "Alright, but if you change your mind let me know."

"I will. I love you mom."

"Oh sweetheart I love you too. Try and get some rest okay. "

"Yeah I will." You waited in your spot until you heard her footsteps retreating. When you heard her bedroom door close, you sighed, placing a hand to your chest.

"That was close." you whispered. Raph was smirking at you, and it did weird things to your chest.

"W-What?"

"Nothing." It didn't look like nothing.

 "Come on tell me why you're wearing that smug little woah!" you had planned to march over, but you slipped on something on your floor. Raph was quicker, he caught you almost instantly. You must have stopped breathing for at least a few seconds, because you just stayed there in his arms. Your eyes connected, and that's when you let out a shallow breath. Raph was just as taken as you. He didn't move a muscle, just held you upright. You palm flattened against his chest, eyes never straying from his hypnotic gaze. With him slightly bent, all you had to do was lean up a few inches and you could close that space.

"Raph.." the sound of his name broke the spell. He straightened your body, pulling away. He cleared his throat, taking a couple steps back. "I should get going I need to-" he knocked into your desk behind on his way to leave and you winced at the sound that echoed. Raph froze, listening to make sure he didn't give your mother another reason to come back. When there wasn't any sound he relaxed, moving to your window.

"Be careful." you said gesturing to his head as he almost ran right into the glass. He just gave a force laugh, raising the window glass. You smiled. He was sort of cute like this. All fidgety. He ducked, creeping out the way he came in. "I'll come by tomorrow." you stated.

"Yeah..." he responded, but it didn't sound like he was really listening. He looked distracted.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."

He nodded, inching up the wall.

"Yeah tomorrow." And just like that, he was flipping to the top of your roof. You bent your head, watching as he took off into the night.

You were looking forward to tomorrow, that was for sure.

[psyleedee]

Sweet, Spice and Everything Not Nice.

(Inspired by the iconic™ hot chilli Jen/Danneel/Misha moment but Destiel).

dean/castiel, secret relationship, accidental coming out, crack, humor, implied blowjobs, poor sammy.

-2k words.

-psyleedee.

There's a new diner opened up just a mile away from the Bunker, and already, Dean has heard so much about it. Last Tuesday, when he went for a milk run and stumbled into Ms. Davey, she was strangely keen about the new chilli poppers the diner was serving. Dean had smiled and brushed her off with a sure, I'll try it out, and he'd gone his way. Come Thursday, he'd stumbled into Chris, the local pawn shop owner, and they'd fallen into easy conversation, before Chris had spoken up about the diner. Said they had the best damn chilli poppers he'd ever seen. Dean didn't need anymore convincing.

Turns out Sam did.

And after weeks of goading Sam and riling him up to the point where he slammed a fist on the table and said Jesus Christ, Dean, you say the word chilli poppers again and I'll shove one right up your ass, Dean had succeeded. So what if it meant his dignity had crumbled to ash? At least he'd get to eat some good, greasy food, the one he's been craving for so long.

Besides, he oughta' take Cas out on a date too.

Ever since they ended up drunk in bed one long, fateful night ago, things have been slightly different between the two of them. For starters, they smile at each other a lot. Even when they're not looking at each other in tandem. They always end up on the same side of the couch or the dining table, thighs pressed together, hands brushing. They argue a lot, over the most mundane things, like washing the dishes or doing the laundry, but sometimes, after a hunt, when Dean is gushing blood, there will be this one broken glint in Castiel's eyes when he tries to heal him. And that night, they'll make slow, gentle love in Dean's car, away from the rest of the world.

However, there's a slight catch.

Sam doesn't know. He knows nothing. At least Dean hopes so.

And hey, not like they're trying to hide stuff from Sam, 'cause come on, they're practically breathing up each other's neck with only the three of them in the bunker, but it's just that Dean has a specific plan in his mind.

A plan about coming out to his brother. And it'll be heartfelt, of course, 'cause this is not just him establishing his relationship with Castiel, but also him coming out as bisexual. Sure, forty's a little late to figure out your sexuality, but better late than never, yeah?

So that's how it goes.

Maybe they can have a nice, brotherly chat over beer and chilli poppers.

"So, here we are. At last," Castiel says, as they stand against the Impala, all three of them, studying the creaky wooden sign which reads: Donny's Diner– home to the famous Habanero Chilli Poppers.

Okay. They're at the right place then.

"Habanero? Is that like, hotter than jalapeños or somethin'?"

Dean asks, as he stuffs his hands into the pocket of his jacket, and glances at his brother.

"I don't know," Sam says, so Dean turns to Cas, who almost passes as a rugged, buff lumberjack with the way Dean's flannel and AC/DC shirt hug his chest. He has his arms folded across him, a thoughtful gleam in his eyes as he studies the diner.

"I was too busy leading armies in Heaven to really pay attention to the chillies on earth."

"God," Dean sighs, exasperated, "-just say no."

Castiel's lips twitch in the slightest of amusement, and Dean hates the smug look spread across Castiel's face.

Okay, fine, he loves it.

Whatever.

"Let's go eat some fucking chilli poppers," Sam sighs, and Dean, ever ready, follows behind him. Castiel joins them, and all three men enter the diner, which in truth, is a normal, rustic style place. The tables are wooden, the chairs quite simple, a single order station at the front, and a few women, dressed in black shirts and jeans, running around with trays in their hands. It seems casual and laid-back, just the way Dean likes a diner to be, and at once, he quirks his bottom lip, already impressed by the minimal decor and the light chatter in the diner.

"Hi!"

Both Cas and Dean jump a little at the loud, enthusiastic, squeaky voice from in front of them, and standing before them is a young, short woman, with a pixie cut and cute, black-rimmed glasses on her nose. She reminds Dean of a high schooler. Maybe she is.

"Erm, hey."

"I'm Dana, and I'll be your server today. Follow me please, I'll grab you guys a seat."

Dean smiles at her, and the trio follows her along to a booth at the corner of the room. Sam slides in one side, while Castiel and Dean slip in across him. Dana allows them to settle for a moment before piping up again. Seriously this girl has got some real hard enthusiasm for a waitress.

"So, do you guys have anything in mind already? Since a lot of people come in here for the poppers, but if you want, I can get you the menu."

Dean shares a look with Sam. Dean shares a look with Cas.

We'll have the poppers. Oh, and uh, Dana, are the poppers uh, spicy? Like, reeealll spicy? Or spicy spicy?"

Dana chuckles, and shrugs.

"On a scale of one to ten, I'd say a solid eight. But you don't need to try them if you don't want to. We have normal jalapeño poppers. Those aren't as spicy."

"We'll have the really spicy ones, since Dean has been so insistent about them," Castiel says, and the waitress nods. He turns to Dean with a challenging spark in his eyes, "-or are you scared, Dean? I mean, you haven't been known to be quite tolerant towards chillies."

"Shaddup," Dean grumbles, and watches as Sam sends him a silly look, before turning to the waitress.

"The habanero poppers, please."

Sam smiles, and the waitress walks away with a brief nod.

Dean turns back to Sam, who fixes him a dry glare, before turning to Cas.

"Alright, I'm gonna' go use the restroom for a minute," He says, and glances at Dean, after which he proceeds to slide out of the booth and walk away.

Alone at last.

Dean shifts his weight onto a single thigh and turns in his seat to face Castiel. Castiel looks at him with a soft, tender expression, before reaching out to twine their fingers together.

"Are you happy, Dean?"

"'Course I am, Cas. Are you?"

"With you I always am."

"Sap."

"I prefer the term honest."

A smile spreads across both of their faces, before Dean leans in, and presses his lips to Castiel's, who melts at once, giving in to Dean, hands grazing Dean's jaw as they kiss, tender, longing, passionate, hot... Okay too hot, abort, abort.

Dean clears his throat and backs away, glancing around the diner to find a few curious pair of eyes on them, and he sends each one a glare, linking his arm around Castiel's back to show them what's theirs. Castiel shakes bis head with a hopeless smile, and steals a peck off Dean's lips, just in time, since Sam returns not a moment later.

Dean jerks his hand away. Castiel seems a bit hurt.

"So, what'd I miss?"

"Nothing," Castiel scoffs, and looks away, setting his chin on his fists on the table.

Sam looks between Dean and Castiel, and as much as Dean hates the way Sam is suspicious, he doesn't say much.

Patience, Sammy, patience. Dean's going to come out soon. He promises. Or something.

Dana returns just in time to soothe the rising tension at the table, and at once, the prominent scent of spices, oil, and chilli wafts around them, tickling Dean's nostrils in the best of ways, and he follows his nose to find a steaming, hot plate of sizzling habanero poppers held in Dana's hand. There's almost eight to nine poppers on the plate, and each one looks downright delectable.

"Alright, I would advise you to grab yourself some water, because these can be very spicy, and we don't want another paramedic in this diner."

"You have a paramedic in this diner?"

Dean asks, incredulous as he stares at the plate of poppers.

Dana laughs. "Uh-huh, over there, that's Kenny, he's the medic."

"Woah."

Castiel sighs, and watches as the waitress sets the tray down before them.

"Anything else I can get you? Besides a huge jug of water?"

Dana smirks, and all three men gulp at once, eyes fixed to the plate of poppers.

Man up, Winchester.

"Nothing, honey."

Dean smiles, and Dana returns it before walking away.

Now.

The poppers.

Before Dean can even speak, both Sam and Castiel are swiping their hands at one, holding it up and staring down at it.

"Guys, I don't think that's it's a good idea to–"

Gone. The poppers are gone. The ones in Sam's and Castiel's hand? Gone. In their mouths.

Dean stares, wide eyed, awestruck, torn between looking at Sam and Castiel, but then–

"Oh my god," Castiel gasps, mouth stuffed full, chewing on the popper, and Dean watches as his fists clench on the table.

Yup. Dean is not touching those poppers with a ten-foot pole.

"Jesus," Sam mutters, and holy shit, the guy's actually red, and fuck, so is Cas, they're literally burning red at the cheeks and the nose, and Sam's drooling, wiping his nose, there's tears at his eyes, Castiel is swatting the table, groaning, tears streaming down his face as he chews on the popper–

This is a fuckfest.

"Dude, what's happening?"

Dean yelps, shrinking away from his brother and boyfriend, as they pant, gasp and cry.

"Hot, hot, hot– too hot," Sam cries out, and Dean almost feels bad for the bugger. Serves them for being impatient.

"Dean, oh my god, argh, hot, hot, this is the hottest thing I've ever put in my mouth?!"

Castiel screams out, banging his fist on the table, and yes, Dean knows the time isn't right, but obviously Castiel has had hotter things in his mouth before, and those things are sitting right next to him, so how dare he.

"Excuse me?" Dean scoffs, to which Castiel sends him a dry, enraged glare.

"Food, Dean! Food."

Castiel squawks, and slaps the table, but a loud, deafening yelp catches both of their attention.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!"

Sam bellows, and oh. Oops.

"I don't wanna' listen to you talk about your sex life when I'm literally dying?! Dean, what the fuck are you sitting for, ask for some water?!"

Wow. This Sam is... Not nice.

Dean falters, trapped between two impatient, burning, overreacting men, and he rises up from his seat, watching as Dana scurries towards them with a water jug, but she doesn't even have a moment to react before Castiel is snatching it out of her hands and oh, oh god.

Castiel holds the jug above his face, and Dean jumps away from the table as the water gushes out, pouring into his mouth, over his shirt, everywhere, and before Castiel can even quench his thirst, Sam is grabbing the jug, pouring it over his face just like Castiel, the water drizzling every where, and a horrified, stricken Dean simply glances up at Dana, who seems... Strangely calm.

"Oh, it's more common than you think. I'm used to it," She says, and Dean wonders vaguely, if they're paying her enough for this, before providing help in the most menial form ever, by tossing his handkerchief to Castiel.

"You, Dean, are not getting away with this. You're the reason we almost died?!"

He growls, and yanks Dean onto the chair.

"Dude, I didn't ask you to pop it into your mouth literally a second after it came out."

Dean yells, shrugging away in defense, when a loud gasp draws their attention to Sam.

"You guys are fucking each other?"

Oh. Uhm. Cat's out.

"Yes, we're fucking each other, Sam, now could you pass that jug over here?"

Dean stares at the two of them, completely normal, going about passing the between the two of them.

That was... Not how he planned on coming out. Nope.

"Yeah, uh, Sam, Cas and I are dating. And uhm, I'm bi."

Sam shrugs, and holds the jug above his face, when it seems to click him.

"Wait. Was I not supposed to know that?"

Dean rolls his eyes.

"No, you weren't. How'd you know?"

Sam laughs.

"I don't know, maybe the oh my god, faster Dean, or the oh, you feel so good, coming from your room each night might have something do with it."

Dean blushes. Hard. Too hard. Castiel doesn't seem the slightest bit bothered. I mean, well, save for the water he's practically guzzling down.

"Whatever."

Dean grunts, and slides back in next to Castiel, who pushes the jug away, and slumps back against the booth.

Silence follows both Sam and Castiel's heavy pants.

Only for Castiel to grin again.

"That was awesome, I'm trying another."

[jakegyllenhaalsupportgroup]

JGCU - New Characters Enter

So yeah, I’m adding in (officially adding in) new characters into the multiverse, this is the reader’s first time actually being a part of the multiverse as well so... enjoy???

“I have to go,” Y/N mumbled and Jake whined, kissing her again, tugging on her hand to keep her with him, lying on his bed.

“No you don’t,” he insisted, kissing her again. “You could just stay here and we could keep doing this?” He proposed and Y/N giggled into his mouth, her free hand tangling itself into her hair.

“I promised I’d be there,” she pointed out, kissing him again gently.

“Promised who,” he groaned, sliding his hand around her waist to keep her locked in place on top of him.

“Jeff!” She giggled.

“Who the fuck is Jeff? He sounds like a prick.”

“Jake!” Y/N laughed, rolling her eyes and pressing their lips together again. “He’s the guy we toured around a few months ago? The Boston Marathon Survivor?” 

“Oh, him,” Jake said, nodding his head before hesitating. “You gave him your number?” Y/N laughed and kissed him again before pulling away, walking away from the bed as Jake groaned, reaching his hand out to grab at her again.

“Yes, Jake, I gave him my number,” Y/N agreed, grabbing at her jeans and pulling them on. She hesitated at her shirt before walking to Jake’s closet instead. “Can I borrow a shirt?” Jake propped himself up on his elbow, grinning.

“More than welcome to.”

Y/N stuck her tongue out at him, seeing the smug look on his face.

“What’s the deal anyway? Where are you going with Jeff?”

“We have weekly secret rendezvous in which we have passionate animal sex because you’re just not enough for me,” Y/N answered nonchalantly and Jake laughed loudly, moving over to the other side of the bed and leaning out to grab at her arm, pulling her back to him as she squealed.

He pushed her down onto her back and hovered over her.

“That’s not what you were saying last night,” he teased, his voice a low rasp and he ducked down to place kisses along her jaw, smirking as he listened to her moan.

“Yes, you two are deeply in love and it’s wonderful. We’re all thrilled for you but please save the night time activities for the night? It’s bad enough we can’t get sleep then, we don’t need you disrupting the day as well,” Loki called through the door, causing Jake to pause in his actions with a groan.

“Fuck off Loki!”

“If I fuck off then you’ll fuck each other,” Loki pointed out, the smirk almost audible in his voice.

“I’ll fuck my girlfriend when I want to thanks so either get lost or don’t,” Jake called back. “And when she wants, I mean, I’m not going to fuck her if she doesn’t want me to,” he added hastily, seeing Y/N’s raised eyebrows.

“I didn’t realise you were into that, Jake, people watching I mean,” Y/N rolled her eyes at Loki’s teasing tone and she reached up to cup Jake’s face, pulling him down for a gentle kiss.

“I have to go - Jeff’s moving in today and I promised him I’d give a hand.” She told him. “You could always come and help as well?”

“Where’s he living?”

“McGuire - floor above me,” she murmured into his mouth.

“I can’t help but I’ll walk you there?” He offered and Y/N pouted.

“Why not?”

“I wanna check on Edward, see how he’s doing you know?” He sighed, falling down onto the bed next to her so they were facing each other. Y/N’s hand moved up to tangle in his hair and her face dropped a little.

“He’s no better?”

“He’s... really upset,” Jake admitted. “Jamie said he barely even gets out of bed anymore,” Y/N pecked his lips.

“Send him my love?” She asked and Jake nodded.

“Of course,” he sighed into her mouth.

“I’ll bring over some coffees and cakes from the cafe after work?” She offered and Jake beamed.

“You’re the absolute best,” he declared, rolling over on top of her again to kiss her.

“Yes! Which is why I have to go and help a friend move in!” 

“Hey, Jake,” Jamie said, pulling the door open and giving his friend a tired smile.

“Hey,” Jake responded. “He doing any better?”

“Come see for yourself, man,” Jamie sighed, opening the door wider to invite the philosophy major further into the apartment.

“Hey, Ed,” Jake smiled, seeing Edward in the kitchen. Edward gave Jake an impossibly strained smile and took his mug before leaving the room again. “Shit,” was all Jake said, turning to look at Jamie with his eyebrows raised and Jamie nodded.

“I hate seeing him like this, dude,” Jamie admitted, sitting at the table. Jake joined him, scratching the back of his neck and sighing loudly.

“We’ve done everything we can,” Jake pointed out, shaking his head.

“I - I called his brother,” Jamie admitted.

“His brother?” Jake asked, furrowing his brow.

“Yeah, his twin,” Jamie said, surprised at Jake’s reaction.

“Edward has a twin?”

“Yeah, Tony,” Jamie nodded. “You didn’t know?”

“No - I don’t think he’s ever mentioned it.”

“Well... he’s called Tony. Him and Ed are really close so I figured he’d be the best guy to call?” Jamie offered uncertainly.

“I mean if they’re close then... yeah, I guess so,” Jake agreed. “But... he really has a twin?”

“Yeah but he goes to uni back in Texas which I guess is why we’ve never met him,” Jamie shrugged. “But he booked a flight over here and he’s meant to be arriving today. Thought it would be a nice surprise for Edward?”

Jake smiled at his friend and nodded. “You’re a good friend, Jamie.”

“Yeah, well, don’t let it get out,” he chuckled awkwardly.

An hour and two episodes of Outnumbered later there was another knock at the door and Jamie groaned, standing up and walking over to pull it open.

“Oh, hi, you must be Tony!” His voice rung through the hall and Jake stood, pausing the show to go and see Edward’s supposed twin.

“You must be Jamie then? Eddie never stops talking about you,” the texan said with a warm smile that extended itself to Jake. 

“Hey, I’m Jake,” he said, raising a hand.

“So... my brother got his heart broken, huh?” Tony asked with a sad smile and Jake and Jamie let out long breaths, nodding.

“Yeah,” Jamie sighed.

“He in his room?”

“Yeah - won’t leave it. First room on the left down the hall, man. I’ll put your bags in the spare room.” Jamie offered and Tony grinned his thanks.

“I’ll take care of him,” Tony promised, walking past the two men and into the Edward’s room.

“That was...”

“Unexpected?” Jamie offered with a laugh.

“To say the least.”

Jake knocked at the door, shifting from foot to foot as he waited for it to be opened.

He had gotten directions from the security guard on duty in the McGuire building, who recognised him as Y/N’s boyfriend and had easily given him details of where she was and where the ‘new guy’ was moving into.

“Jake!” Y/N beamed, opening the door of Jeff and his roommate’s place, wrapping her arms around him quickly to pull him into a kiss.

“Hey, Honey,” he grinned, kissing her again.

“Jake!” Jake looked over Y/N’s shoulder to smile at Jeff, moving into the room and taking his outstretched hand.

“You alright, man? You look great!”

“Thanks - so do you!” 

“I thought you were with Edward and Jamie?” Y/N asked, squeezing Jake’s hand. Jake wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to his side.

“Ed’s twin came for a visit,” Jake told her with a laugh.

“His twin?”

“Yeah, this guy called Tony - he goes to uni in Texas. Or he used to, he dropped out a month ago. He’s lovely, though,” Jake shrugged. 

“Oh - this is Colter, by the way, Colter Stevens. He’s Jeff’s roommate,” Y/N told him, gesturing towards the man lying on the other bed in Jeff’s room who raised a hand.

“Hey, how’s it going. I’m Jake,” he introduced, holding his hand out for Colter to take.

“Colter,” he nodded, shaking his hand.

“He knows Quentin,” Y/N added.

“Really? How do you know Q?”

“Oh, right, I see him around the department all the time and he invited me out for a coffee once, offering to talk me through parts of the course I didn’t understand.”

“So you’re Engineering then?”

“Yeah,” Colter nodded with a small smile.

“I should be getting to work,” Y/N said, glancing at the clock on the wall.

“Yeah, I figured I could walk you,” Jake said and Y/N beamed.

“Yeah, that sounds good!”

“It was nice to meet you Colter - and good to see you again, Jeff,” Jake said, taking Y/N’s hand.

“Yeah, you too - we still on for tomorrow, though, Y/N?” Colter asked and Y/N nodded.

“Definitely - I’ll invite the other guys I told you about?”

“Sounds good,” Jeff agreed. “We’ll see you then, then.”

“What’s tomorrow?” Jake asked to her as they left their room.

“Colter and I thought it would be fun to take Jeff out for drinks to celebrate his joining us,” Y/N said, squeezing his hand.

“And the others are?”

“Donnie, Robert, Lou and Jack,” Y/N laughed, reaching up on her toes to kiss Jake’s cheek. “You’re cute when you’re jealous, though.”

“Lou? Who’s this?” Donnie asked as he rejoined Louis at the table, locking his phone and putting it in his pocket, having just recorded a very drunken Robert singing a love song to Jeff on top of a table.

Robert stumbled back into his seat and Donnie laughed, steadying his friend and guiding him back down onto a chair.

“This is Jerry - he’s a business student and was just telling me about his course and how he feels it will benefit him in the future,” Louis explained, pointing to the man.

“What the fuck, dude?” Colton laughed at Louis’ far-too serious words for a night out. 

“You get used to him,” Jack assured, clapping his new friend on the shoulder, laughing, his other arm around Y/N’s shoulders, keeping the girl from falling as she swayed drunkenly.

“Who are all of you?” Jerry asked conversationally with a welcoming smile.

“I’m Donnie, this is Robert,” Robert raised a hand in a ‘hello’ gesture that was a little unsteady. “That’s Jack who’s supporting Y/N, Jeff’s in the wheelchair and that’s Colton,” Donnie finished. 

“You here alone?” Jeff asked but Jerry shook his head.

“No - I’m here with the Bell-Claire twins,” he supplied, nodding knowingly.

“Bell-Claire twins?”

“Adam and Anthony.”

“Oh, Anthony Bell-Claire - I think he’s in theatre club with Jake, right?”

“Gyllenhaal?” Another voice asked and the group looked over as two more men approached, one of them with a smile, one of them with a raised eyebrow. “I know Gyllenhaal.” 

“I love Jake,” Y/N sighed and Jack laughed, manuvering her into a chair.

“Alright, Y/N/N. You sit down and... stay quiet, alright?”

“Oh - you’re Gyllenhaal’s girlfriend. We met, right?” The unsmiling man said and Y/N nodded, her face still pressed to the table.

“Oh shit - one of you helped me around the history department right?” Jeff asked, squinting at the men. The man with the smile raised his hand.

“Me - hi, I’m Adam.”

“So that makes you Anthony,” Donnie said and the unsmiling man rolled his eyes and nodded.

“Yeah. That makes me Anthony.”

[sheepsandcattle]

Chapter 6

Sometimes Curly wishes the world would just slow down around him.

It’s been a year and a half since he moved away and he feels like he’s been far far away from home forever but like he’s been in his new home for no time at all. He measures time by his highs and his come-downs and (occasionally, when he opens his curtains or leaves his room in the daytime) the way the world looks outside.

It’s not intentional, and he checks back in when he remembers to, but it’s just a nasty habit he’s formed -- one of many nasty habits.

He doesn’t know how he’s still paying his bills but he is (just about) and he doesn’t know how he keeps managing to pull himself together before he sees his mum again but he does. Just about. He doesn’t really even know how he’s awake or even alive honestly, because he only seems to eat when he’s high and only sleeps when he’s facedown on the carpet or on someone’s lawn or in his own sick that one time (two times).

Some days he wakes up missing money he doesn’t remember spending, and others he wakes up and finds notes he doesn’t remember making. He goes to parties and is rarely sure that he leaves the same house he’d entered, or if he’s lost time again - stepped into a house, got wasted, closed his eyes, signed out, then signed back in again in a whole other location. Hours and sometimes days slip away from him.

The days get so bloody blurry and he only has a few fond memories (and some not so fond) to show for the last couple of months. He just feels a bit like he’s paralysed, trying his best to come to grips with what’s happening around him before it races right past, all blurred lights and high pitches.

Then it’s March. March is a new beginning.

“I know you.”

That solar eclipse comes to mind, the one he saw from Cornwall in ’99. The man reminds him of freckles, laugh lines and off-coloured roots. That kind of expression that, in the way it rests, could be a smile or a scowl simultaneously.

He can’t see any of that from his spot on the kitchen floor though, sat with Jules under the table, but he sees the back of the distressed denim jacket drowning the man’s short frame -- sees the words ‘HOAX’ printed on the back, and it brings him back to a party that is otherwise quite forgettable.

The man can’t hear him, not from down here, but something in his gut swears that his acknowledgment will pull some invisible tether in the stranger’s chest and have his body turning, his eyes meeting Curly’s across the room, dragging him over like some kind of Donnie Darko space-time continuum shit.

That doesn’t happen.

What happens is Curly winces when a needle slides beneath his skin, as another boy presses his mouth to Freckles’ ear, smiling about whatever it is he’s whispering.

A swarm of leather, denim and tattoo-clad arms engulf Freckles and his boy then. Soon there’s not an inch of Freckles left in Curly’s view, now blocked by chanting and cheering men. He’s sure he hears a litter of "happy birthday!”s as he waits restlessly for them to slowly break away, allowing the man to come up for air, grin and all.

He sees Jeff ruffle Freckle’s hair before he’s shoved away playfully, further than Freckles looks like he has the strength to push, met shortly after with the blond’s middle finger.

“‘Kay Curls, you’re good,” Jules says with a nudge.

He’s warm all over; that good kind of ache that comes right before a shiver. He hums as he falls back onto the ground, thick, tight curls not quite cushioning his fall as effectively as he’d expected. He blames the Christmas haircut, not even close to grown out yet.

He knows it isn’t the time or place to be doing this.

He listens to Jules talk for a while, to him and to other people whose voices Curls doesn’t recognise. Time flies as he stares up at the underside of the kitchen table, breathing steady as Jules make deals beside him between conversations. It’s not until around an hour later, when his high is finally easing that he stops drawing shapes with his fingers on the wood above his head and crawls out from beneath the table.

Jules has disappeared. The kitchen is busy, the noise suddenly apparent now that he’s emerged from his hiding spot.

He loves all of the songs at this party and whispers the lyrics to himself as he bobs about the house, weaving through the crowds contently. Nobody really talks to him tonight because anyone that would usually buy from him has already brought from Jules. He’s not really sticking to any one place for long enough for anybody to spark up a conversation anyway.

He watches his mucky white trainers shuffle between boots and shoes, careful not to step or trip over anyone as he keeps himself busy exploring. He gets locked onto an ornament of a hippopotamus in the lounge for a while, before he drags himself away, forces himself to move on. Curls promises himself that he’ll be allowed to inspect the intricate details of the wooden carving later on, when he’s not seeing doubles and blurs.

Jules is probably elsewhere by now and Curly is bored and alone, stood in the corner of the kitchen with scissors in-hand. He’s busy watching a pair of black Dr Martens shuffling about a few feet away.

The scissors prod his belly as he snips at the front of the shirt he forgot he was trimming - remembers thinking about it but doesn’t remember starting. “Woops,” he whispers.

He only blinks and then black boots are right beside his trainers and suddenly there’s a hand covering his own.

“Hey- Hey!” Fingers wrap around Curly’s, tattooed knuckles stilling him as a voice asks, “what’re you doing, champ?”

He looks up and Freckles -oh, it’s Freckles- is frowning, even when Curly explains, “crop tops are back in. Just cuttin’ it.”

Freckles jacket’s gone now. He’s wearing a plain white shirt but it’s ripped on the shoulder and near the bottom and he’s got tattoos peeking out from the sleeves but they’re nothing like Curly’s; they’re large, flowing pieces that interlink as opposed to his own sticker-book skin.

Freckles huffs with a nod, humouring him and snapping him out of his daze in the process as he pries the scissors from his hands.

He suggests, “alright, well how about I do it for you, hm?”

Curly grins. “Well, how about that?”

Freckles chuckles a little, at him rather than with him, but it looks so nice on his face, like he’s been saving it for a special occasion.

Freckles says, “I’ve seen you drink more than you’ve breathed tonight, and weren’t you smoking with Dean before you set up shop under the table?” Oh yeah, he forgot about all that. He wants to defy the man’s judgement, say that skin popping is really nothing, and that they shared the hit under the table so he’s at no risk really, but Freckles has more to say. “You’re definitely not in the right state to be tailoring your own shirts, Curly.”

“I’m Curly.” He watches Freckles cut nice, straight lines through the grey fabric of his shirt. “I mean— How did you know that?”

“Jeff told me about your X? I saw you at—“

“I remember. You were there and then you weren’t.”

Freckles looks like he’s trying to de-riddle this. “Glad to know one of us was there,” he says, but Curly forgets to react because he doesn’t get it. “… Cool. So, yeah. And Dean was just telling me how you’re a pro at blackjack. Says I absolutely should not agree to play against you.”

He laughs and Freckles stops trimming the shirt until Curly’s belly is still again. When he continues, the man mumbles, “I’m Jordan, anyway.”

“Jordan,” he echoes and hopes he doesn’t sound as wasted as he is.

Curly’s always been bad with names, either too quick to forget or too unsure to dare call anyone by their name for a long while. He’s not sure he’ll forget Jordan’s though, because everybody seems to know who he is, patting his shoulder as they pass and telling him happy— “Oh,” Curly pipes up again. “Your birthday.”

“Yeah, it’s tomorrow. Twenty-two,” Jordan supplies with a nod, and he’s opening the drawer now and putting the scissors back. “Looks good. A little wonky at the sides, but it kinda adds character.”

“I’m shit at cutting. M’left handed,” Curly explains, waving his hand as if it proves the fact.

The man nods again, pulling loose thread from the new raw edge of Curly’s shirt. “Take it the new hair cut wasn’t your own doing, then,” he says as he steps back, assessing the man’s hair. He’s just reaching out to touch. “I like—“

“Jordan!” A man that Curly doesn’t know throws his entire body weight onto the blond, sending him stumbling half-way across the room as he says “man, you look ancient.”

“Hey, fuck you,” Jordan grumbles as they half hug, half wrestle across the room.

Curly manages to push himself up onto the counter, leaning back against the cupboard behind his head as he watches them muck about, knocking beer and kicking stools. He’s left feeling smug as he scratches his head because Freckles was absolutely about to say he likes his barnet.

“You wouldn’t believe he’s twenty-two, would you?” A soft voice steals his attention, and he turns his head to his side where a young man rolls blue-grey eyes before he smiles up at him. “Such a kid.”

He recognises him from earlier, whispering something to Jordan that made them both smile. He wonders what it was. He wonders if Jordan felt the man’s lip ring when it was pressed to his ear.

“He’s funny,” he replies simply, not sure what the stranger is looking for. He doesn’t really know much more about Jordan than that, and he’s pretty sure the guy’s not actually tried to be funny yet.

This new pretty boy with golden hair has warm skin that glows under the bulb hanging from the ceiling of the kitchen. His face is all soft angles and smooth skin and Curly wonders how the fuck someone his age (presuming this bloke is around his own age) manages that, because his own skin is covered in small scars from old nicks and break-outs and fuck knows what else.

“Funny,” Goldie repeats as he flicks his hair out of his face - it falls in glossy waves, just brushing over his ears. He looks a bit like one of those fit modern-day vampires, Curls thinks, except instead of drinking blood, he probably drinks eight pints of mineral water and eats his five-a-day. “Is he?”

He squeezes his eyes shut ‘cause maybe he’s just seeing this guy through beer goggles, but nah. He’s pure beautiful. Pretty is a good word for it... Pretty bloody annoying. Especially when Curly’s sat in a DIY’d crop top with eyeliner smudged over his cheek and rum soaking into his jeans.

Curls forgets again to respond but the man laughs anyway and Curly wishes it was a nasty sort of laugh, just so he had a valid reason to dislike him - a reason that wasn’t jealousy.

“Anyway, this is my cue.”

He watches Jordan’s boy cross the room to pull the man from his friend, and Jordan ends the scuffle with a fond shove and a “see you later,” as he’s lead towards the door by Goldie. He manages to call out, “see you around, Curly,” as he’s lead out of the room.

It’s a shame really that Curly didn’t get to speak to Jordan until so late on in the night because that happens to be around the time things start to get hazy for him. If he did bump into him again, he can’t recall.

In the taxi home (because that’s all he can really attest for, memory wise, after Jordan slipped away) Jeff’s saying something to Dean along the lines off “shame Curly thinks he’s too good to come out with us properly,” and says Jordan’s name somewhere in the blur of words that follow.

Curly says “he’s my mate, he is,” turning in his own seat at the front to face his friends. He hugs the headrest as he smiles dopily into the back on the car.

Dean says “you only met him tonight, Curls.”

Jokes on him, Curly thinks, because they met before tonight, and that’s got to count for something.

He sleeps on their couch again that night, because they can’t be arsed with doing the maths for the split taxi fare. That and Curly thinks he might have dropped the key to the flat down the kitchen sink at the party.

[ontheline-ff]

2 | somethin’ cute

A/N: y’knooooooow... i think i’ma change the title soon. I might also add again before thursday. thanks for clicking on this. I appreciate it.

Venus was hungry. That was enough to get her up and get her going.

The chicken fried rice she’d scarfed down earlier got digested like wafer crackers. She was definitely hungry as hell as she finally got off of the couch, so breakfast didn’t sound bad. Meeting up with Adonis wasn’t going to be anything good, and she knew it.

Adonis: wear something cute, maybe we can take a walk or something after we eat...

Venus blew out a long breath as she tried to figure out what all of this meant, honestly. It would get her out of the house, and that’s all that mattered. She needed that, alone anyway, because it wouldn’t be long before she had to face Juanita. She didn’t want to think about that right now though.

Her mind was focused on a distraction, and this was definitely one way to accomplish that.

Venus kissed her teeth after re-reading the text, knowing it wasn’t a request, but a demand. She wasn’t going to respond, but knew he was doing her some good, luring her out in the daylight. She knew it would help recall things, which was good too. She needed to find something to latch on to, and she knew he always had something up his sleeve that did just that.

She was trying to reason with herself as she got off of the couch, and pulled open the curtains in her room as she walked into the center of it. The sunlight was still bright, but just not as intense. She figured she could go, she would go, will, is, going, that was settled. But, if he wanted his shit, which she’s still finding in places she didn’t expect, or simply overlooked the first time, he’d have to come back here and get it for himself.

She attempts to convince herself the the only reason she's acting this way is because she deserves a redo, more than anything else. It was so unfortunate that her mind seem to just basically corrupt the memories of last night, because they had been bullshitting around when it came to being physical for a while, and she didn’t remember shit.

The short video clips she didn't send to her snap story didn't make matters better. They were all over each other in the back of an uber; his hand was actually weaving into her hair, and grazing her scalp while he licked at her neck until he pulled away and kissed her temples. It was more sentimental than explicit, and even while they were both visibly buzzed, a warmth filled her that made her lips turn up in a smile.

There was a whole video of the two of them lipsyncing to some super old Ace Hood, just holding hands, both matching the intensity of each other. They synced up like that; that, was instinctive. It was natural in a way that didn’t happen without the two of them realizing it, and smiling about it.

They just fit, in a way that she couldn’t put her finger on sometimes.

She wasn’t worried about being taken advantage of with Adonis, and that was probably the one thing that gave her hope about how her night went, even if she didn’t know any or most of the details. She knew that she wanted to have sex with him. They never had disagreed about it; they just never pushed for it to happen, despite how bad they both wanted it, considering…

She wasn't focused on hurting anyone's feelings, anyone talking shit, or any of that right now. She couldn't recall the last time she had good, really good sex, or got blackout drunk, either. Funny how the only person who usually didn't want to indulge in that kind of shit was the one to make sure she'd got all of that out of him as soon as they linked up.

The text thread under his Brooklyn based number, which was saved as Donnie in her contact information, had all of the tea. She had been wondering if he would come out, and once he did, she was on his ass until he stopped responding to her fuckery and just latched on to her hip. At some point he'd lost the phone, she realizes this now, or switched to the 215-line for whatever reason. The texts had stopped on the Brooklyn line and resumed later in the night on the other line; she doesn’t know why she just realized that.

Venus had time to sit and analyze everything now that she had trekked to the north side of Williamsburg from Crown Heights, just for him, and still beat him here.

Last night was still weighing heavy on her mind though. She was never heavy on drinking. She had her limits, always has, but on occasion, she was known to let her hair down and show up when she needed to. The entertainment business would keep her thoroughly entertained and even more thoroughly drunk off of whatever she wanted to endorse, so why not? The same for him. She knew damned well he was promoting that damned liquor, so no wonder he was going to be able to finesse more than just liquor courage out of her once she opened up.

Venus definitely saw more explicitness in her my eyes only section that made her shift her hips against the chair she was sitting in. She knew the sex was good, but she couldn't explain how she didn't remember what she knew what was memorable as fuck. Just another side effect, she supposed.

Venus had showered, gotten dressed, and found herself staring blankly into a menu that she didn’t need fifteen minutes after she’d gotten the text to go. She hadn’t moved that quickly in a while, but she was here, and there was no turning back.

Once she heard the jingle of keys drop onto the table, and the second menu got picked up, her stomach flip flopped. She was never really nervous around him, but she knew it wasn’t impossible for the situation to make her feel that way. Venus’ eyes drew up and down slowly as she looked up into a face of mischief, gold teeth, and an all american pullover that she knew read CREED on the back.

“You order yet?” He asks, smirking.

She was waiting on him, actually. Le Barricou ain’t cheap at all. There are daisies in a little mason jar on the table, and water in a green carafe, waiting to be poured. The menu is in French on the other side. Kamasi Washington is playing quietly in the background of things. It’s upscale, but casual.

She has money of her own, but honestly, if he wanted to get her french toast, they could have just gone to Tom’s. The ceiling fan above them hovers and spins slowly, and distracts her from answering him. She doesn’t recall ever being shy, or silent when it comes to interacting with him. Today is just filled with a hesitant, uneasy vibe that she wishes she could stop maximizing.

“What do you want to go with your French Toast?” He asks, sitting the menu back down.

“Or are you going to just sit there and not look at me or talk to me?” She’ll actually do anything but lock eyes with him, and she cuts her eyes as he calls her out on it.

She opens her mouth to speak, but shuts it, and shakes her head softly. She’s thirsty now, and doesn’t know what to say to even get a conversation started. She’s still pulling her thoughts together, and wanting to look at her phone, watch the videos again, and interrogate the fuck out of him about the things she can’t recall. There are several rows of liquor backed up against a wall across the room, and her eyes cut to the bar, but the last thing she needs is another drink.

There won’t be any mimosas today.

“Duck hash. Orange juice, no mimosas.” She rattled off as he chuckled, and caught her off guard as his hand extended to touch her face, and lift her chin up.

“Quit being mean to me. Say hi, or something. Actually, stand up,” He instructs, and she pushes away from the table instinctively.

“Bring it in, give me some love.” His arms loop around hers as he pulls her into his chest, a little taller than her, but not too much.

Her mumble of, “Hey, Donnie,” gets trapped in his chest as she breathes him in, and he squeezes her tightly, and presses his lips against her forehead before she bats him away, immediately putting him in box mode. She sucks her teeth and waves him off as he laughs, and sits across from her again.

“Whussup V? You good?” He asked, eyebrow up.

Venus got a good look at him and scoffed softly. She wanted last night to pour into her, really, but, it just didn’t. She pressed her fingers into the bridge of her nose as she looked at him, taking in what she saw. He wasn’t smug, he wasn’t being an asshole, but he was sitting across from her, genuinely curious about her current state.

“I’m good. I’m just… fighting my thoughts internally. Trying to piece shit back together. I really don’t know how to feel, other than confused as fuck, and a little bit annoyed. Jealous. I didn’t even know it was possible to be jealous of yourself.” She shook her head softly, and he did as well, mirroring her actions.

There was so much she wanted to ask about, and maybe even yell about, but she just couldn’t. There was no point in flipping out or causing a scene, or anything to draw attention to the two of them, but she needed answers. Heads already turned when Adonis Creed walked into the room, and she had her fair share of looks when people pointed out Venus Carter, so, the last thing she needed was a scene.

What she did need though, was for him to fill in some blanks before she considered what was going to happen next. He sat a cell phone out on the table, not the same one she had recalled him having in the past, and her eyebrows went up at the sight of it.

“You left Philly three years ago, whussup with the 215 bullshit?”

It’s a cop out, but it’s a start. He gets eye contact, with her head tilted a little, and hands gesturing at the idle phone on the table.

“It’s a burner.” He shrugged, not elaborating. She decided to pour herself a glass of water, and cut her eyes back up at him.

“You could have just told me that, asshole.” She hissed with a little edge, and he didn’t look as out of place as he used to, sipping the water from the little flute after he pours it for himself.

“About the Philly line? It’s just easier. I can talk to certain people… and won’t have to pull them into the shit I have going on in Brooklyn. I didn’t think it was going to fuck you up like that,” He admitted as he licked his lips, and eyed her.

“But, you’re right, I should have said something. I apologize.”

“Your memory’s getting better though,” He added, smiling. “I told you, you’ll be back in shape in no time.”

Venus waved off his praising and tried not to smile at it. He locked eyes with her and sat back, slouching a little, instinctively giving into bad posture that she would usually tease him about, but she didn’t. They were avoiding the bigger situation that lingered over the two of them, and they both knew that too.

She wanted to call him out for trying to distract her, but instead, she just sipped her water and slid her phone back across the table, with the thread open between the two of them.

“I still can’t remember all of last night. So, I suggest that maaaaaybe, you start talking.” She insists, and he runs his hand down the plane of his jaw before leaning in forward, and smirking.

“I don’t know where to start, but I’m pretty sure that you know as well as I do that last night wasn’t a mistake,” He starts, telling her what she wanted to hear.

It’s the tone of his voice that makes her shift in her chair though. She knows he’s not bullshitting here. With that level of honesty between the two of them, she feels comfortable enough to just listen, and see where it’ll take her.

“We were both a little fucked up, but, we knew what we were doing. We were both rational enough to make that decision.” There was no beating around the bush, acting coy, or denying what happened. She appreciated it that much, but fuck. She wanted to remember what happened, not just be spared the details.

“You know we’ve been skirting around our feelings since Vegas. After the fight even.” They rarely reference the accident, the one that pushed her out of the game for a minute.

He pauses at he glances at her, waiting to see if he’s overstepped a boundary, or tripped anything, but she doesn’t respond. Venus just looks at him, hanging off of his every word. Her eyebrow goes up, and he keeps talking.

“Even then there was still something. Right when we thought you'd lost everything… I knew you were still in there, fighting temptation, and the way I made you feel. You never had to say anything, ‘cause it was all in the way you looked.” He pulls his phone out, the Brooklyn line, and after a few seconds, a video she knows well plays.

They were at Summerlin Hospital, still in Vegas. Venus was in the bed, fully conscious, but definitely a little bit beat up still. Her right eye was puffy; her head still partially bandaged. It was fucking bad. But, while the wounds would heal within a few days, her memory would take nearly a month for her to fully grasp again. Donnie was there, holding her hand, pulling her through the entire time.

“Before you even started talking again, before the PT and the rehab, you knew me. You focused in on me, looked for me, before anyone else. Even Juanita, even before your parents. You’d look at me too long. Grip my hand too long. You'd avoid punching me when you finally got back into the right state of mind to start sparring again. You treated me more delicately than you used to, like whatever dream world you were in for just a few hours made you realize what you wanted deep down. We’ve been fighting our attraction to each other for too long.”

She hates when things get intense like this between the two of them. It doesn’t happen that often, but when it does, she just hates it. He’s proactive with his feelings, whereas she, treads lightly.

She has to admit, it’s admirable when a man knows what he wants, but for whatever reason, in the back of her mind, and sometimes, even in the front, the direct front, she fights matching the energy she knows she can put forth with this. It’s just a little too messy, too delicate to pull apart or attempt to make right without fucking it all up.

“Last night was just… a fucked up, but good first date, honestly.” Donnie shrugs, and Venus scoffs again as their drinks arrive, and her head shakes again at the word date as if that was just it.

“A date? That I don’t remember at all, huh? You gon’ just claim it, just like that?”

Instead of responding, he just shrugs, and flicks to another video on the phone on the table.

“If I wasn’t married, I’d still be tryna date and fail. I deserve a good night out though, I always wanted to go out and just get sooooo drunk, ion’ remember what’s up when I get up, but I know I had fun. I’m just glad I got somebody by my side who’ll help smooth that thang out, know what I’m talmbout? I always wanted a nigga who would take me to like Paris or somethin’, you know? I always wanted somebody who’ll… give me a full surprise on my birthday, with you know, a candlelit dinner, fire ass hotel room in like, Tennessee or something so we can get in good on the snow, I want… roses just because. I always wanted to be courted. Ion’ think niggas do that anymore, unless you’re lucky. You gon’ court me, even tho’ we already married?”

“You know, I'll never let you forget the fact that you thought we were married.” He teases her as she rolls her eyes softly.

Her face gets warm and she can’t vocalize that her stomach is literally flip-flopping, like it always does when he brings that up, with video receipts. It's been a minute since he's reminded her of that day; probably the only highlight out of the entire situation.

And, for the record, she thought Juanita was her assistant, and she was like a second coming of Beyonce, so, he can honestly pull himself from whatever alternative universe she was in after suffering from head trauma and post-traumatic amnesia.

But, as devastating as that entire ordeal was, he was there for her through the whole thing.

Venus remembers how she came to, initially realizing what was going on. She’d been in a bad fight, had been assaulted, actually. The papers did a good job of not sparing any detail and pulling that back to her mind with vivid clarity.

There had been a coma - a few days, and then, she was up again. After the brief coma, she woke up looking for her husband, a husband that she did not have, but definitely had been identified as Adonis. He was there, sleeping in a chair, with his hands folded across his chest, slipping in and out of consciousness himself. His knuckles were still bruised, and his eye was still swollen. She could see the dried blood all over his shirt, and knew that little of it was his.

Donnie swiped the phone, with more videos to share. She didn’t need her memory jogged on this though; she knew this was just a way to butter her up, and get her to relax. She knew he was a good guy before anything else, but husband material?

The jury was still out on that one.

“Where is my husband? Nurse Marie, you seen em? He ‘bout, this tall? Probably has gold teeth in the bottom still? Looks like the ‘Merican flag threw up on ‘em? Angry for no reason, arms big as …. I SEE YOU, DAMNIT.”

Venus’ eyes rolled as he smiled at her, and when their eyes met, she was smiling too. She recalled that video, when she was finally stable enough to talk, and once she did, she wouldn’t shut up. He was hiding in hallway with takeout when she had got up, and recorded the whole thing from his vantage point against the wall.

“I need some more recent stuff,” Venus insists as food arrives, giving them a second to pause. 

In retrospect, last night went exactly like she anticipated it to. Venus told herself that she deserved a night out. She deserved to get cute, no, fine as fuck, get fucked up, and go home and do things that she would possibly regret with someone who looked good enough to come back with her.

Maybe.

She doesn’t live life with many regrets, except for this one.

She also admitted to herself that she was drinking to forget, but she didn’t need to do that. Her memory is spotty at best. Like a forgetful ass blue tang fish, at times. It’s frustrating because she wants to remember what the fuck happened, honestly, it’s spotty. She knows it’s useless to be upset about it - this has been the reality for her for the last two years, with little breakthrough.

It’s not helping a fucking thing that she doesn’t know what exactly she needs to do to trigger her memories to be easily recalled, and now she has to deal with it. It’s not impossible. She knows that, and Adonis does too. There has been many breakthroughs between the two of them, but sometimes, she just can’t recall things like she should be able to. Like she used to be able to.

The lingering after effects of barely escaping brain damage and suffering through post traumatic amnesia wasn’t really that bad to live with, it just was… a difficulty.

Venus wonders if her request went unheard as he tears into his super fluffy pancake and pushes the plate of lamb sausage that she wanted, but wouldn’t order, towards her. Spearing a link, her eyebrow goes up, silently anticipating him showing he something that she hasn’t seen before.

She’s not patient about it either, and he laughs.

“You’re so damned antsy,” He smiles, and then motions down at the giant pancake, which she shakes her head at. “Try the pancake. It’s good as hell, V.”

A second later though, she does scoop a little of the strawberry butter onto a small piece and tries not to blush as he smiles at her.

“You trust me, V. Never forget that. I won’t steer you wrong.” Donnie insists, and somewhere near her heart, Venus knows it’s not a lie, or a line. It’s real.

“I could go into my phone and pull up thousands of videos that prove my point when I say that you want me just as bad as I want you. History kinda tends to send me a good woman when I’m not looking for her, and in our situation, I looked the wrong way.”

“I know it’s going to be fucked up once it grows legs, but, I just… I want this. I feel like it’ll be good for you if I just… prove it to you. Gimme a chance to stay with you. A night, a weekend, whatever. I know it’s better now to secure the things I want and not let them slip away from me before it’s too late.”

The conversation resonates with her as she just nods, no protest, and eats her food. Underneath the table, his foot bumps hers. She can’t recall ever seeing Adonis be as smooth as he is, but he is, it works for her, and then, she recalls a time, and smiles.

“You weren’t smooth like this when we first started to flirt, but once you realized I was flirtin’ back, you kinda scared me,” Venus spears a piece of potato, and he chuckles.

At some point, they went from separate dishes to sharing, after he pushes the spring mix to a different plate, it’s a cohesive mesh of pancake and duck hash on both of their plates.

“I used to think… he’s big as fuck. I’d ask Ju before we even knew you personally, like, you see his arms? You see how cut…” They could be having this same conversation in several different places, with the two of them acting the same no matter where they were.

“That’s what does it for you? The arms?” He flexed his muscles for a second as she bit down into her lip, and rolled her eyes softly.

“These same arms are strong enough to lift you up, pick you up when you’re down…” He finished off his water, and repoured it for the two of them as if it was an expensive bottle of wine.

Venus exhaled. For a second, she damned near forgot that she was in public.

“You remember, or you wanna see?”

Her eyes go to his immediately. “Lemme see.”

The bottled tension in her shoulders slipped away when he stood up, making an excuse to go to the restroom, but not before coming behind her chair, and gingerly massaging her shoulders as if she was about to head back into the ring. Venus’ head immediately dropped forward, and seconds later, picked back up to see the Brooklyn line on the table, with the videos section open.

“And, before I come back, just know that it was your idea to record, by the way.” He whispered gently, and her eyebrow went up as he pressed a kiss behind her ear, and served her nothing but back as he headed towards the restrooms.

She watched him the entire way, feeling familiarity overcome her like she hadn’t in a while.

[venactricisfics]

Connection

Negan X OC, Smut, Oral, Negan-like language. 

Prior Parts: Unexpected  What’s Life without a Little Risk Unbelievable 

@negans-network @neganmorgan @mypapawinchester@jeffreynegan @ask-kakashihatake

“When you go out there keep your mouth shut and just go along,” Laura says going through the rules of pick ups. “There’s fucked up shit that happens on the road. If it needs to happen just let it. Negan’s calling the shots. His word is the rule. Arat’s his number two today.”

“Do what he tells me no question, got it. Why aren’t you joining the pick up crew today?” I holster my gun and glance up at her hoping I wasn’t fucking everything up by tagging along.

“Simon has us setting up the outpost again. Hoping I get to be the head bitch in charge out there for once,” she laughs.

“Good luck with that,” I pull my hair back in a ponytail, “Anything I should keep an eye out for you?”

“I’m good. I gotta list of shit Carson is looking for. Just remember those assholes are the ones that killed Paula, Michelle, Donnie and Primo. They will try to convince you to help them. You look sweet so they’ll try. Just be careful,” she gives my shoulder a squeeze. “Alright?”

“I will, and you too. But you know Simon better than me,” I give her a grin.

“You know as well as I do how that itch needs to be scratched. You better get a move on.”

“I know, I don’t want to get left behind,” I head down the hallway and out the factory doors.

“Well hello to you,” I try to hide my smile at the sing songy voice of Negan’s as I step out. “Can’t get enough of me huh, sweetheart?”

“That and I’m coming along,” I glance up at him.

“Well, that tickles the shit outta me. I always wanted a little road head when I go to these things,” he smirks.

“You’re making me regret ever sucking your dick,” I respond.

“Guys are all ready to go, boss,” Arat says from behind me. My face turns a bright shade of red. I didn’t want anyone really to know that Negan and I were. Did. Hell, I don’t know what we are but I wasn’t ready for the entire Sanctuary to know.

“Don’t be silly,” he drapes his arm around my shoulders leading me in the direction of the truck, “we both know how much you loved sucking my dick.” He looks out over the group after sliding the truck door open for me, “Let’s head the fuck out.”

His words did little to change the color of my face back to its natural state but I was glad to find a seat in the back, behind the drivers, so I could regain a small piece of my dignity. “How is anyone gonna respect me if you keep telling them how good I suck dick?”

“That is a damn fucking fantastic skill, I couldn’t do it,” he chuckles, “I respect the shit out of you.” I grip the back of Arat’s seat as the truck lunges forward. “Do you respect her, Arat?”

She glances at me in her rearview.  Ninety percent of my interactions with her were strictly business. She is fierce. And fiercely loyal to Negan.

“I’ll let you know after today,” she offers me a slight smile, “I don’t have a use for her dick sucking skills.”

“Thanks,” I lean back in my seat as the road becomes steadier, quieter.  Giving me a chance to think. Or almost before Negan’s voice chimes in again.

“You should be in the lounge letting me take fucking care of you and not out here doing the fucking hot as hell work. I only do it cause I know the bullshit brigade feels more confident when I am at the fucking helm.”

I narrow my eyes at him curiously, “You asking me to be one of your wives? Cause if you are there’s no fucking way.”

“Well, actually I the fuck I was. Why wouldn’t you want to be in the lap of luxury letting your loving husband,” he gestures to himself, “take care of your every need?”

“Look, I like fucking you,” it didn’t matter at this point, Arat already knew, I wasn’t sure who knew or what but the cork couldn’t be put back in the bottle. “I want to keep liking fucking you.  I don’t want it to become my job.”

“Fair enough,” his grin widens, “You wanna come on collections and fuck some people up, I will be fucking ecstatic to have you there. If you wanna stay in your bed watching Lifetime movies, you can. I will not have you working for points anymore.” His final words firm, unyielding.

“I….” I stop my words short realizing I’d won at least the battle, if not the war.  He’d given me freedom from being his wife but also leaving the door open for possibility. “Thank you.”  

“Any fucking day I get to catch a glimpse of that fine ass of yours,” he glances back at me, a wide grin on his face, “is a good goddamn day.”

“I hate to interrupt your date,” Arat peers in the mirror again, “you get the list of meds Carlson needs?”

“I got it, he doesn’t seem to need a lot,” I pull the list from my back pocket.

“That’s your job for today, make sure Carlson’s list is taken care of,” she replies, “continue with your whatever the hell you two were doing.”

“Thanks, better than standing around and looking pretty,” I give Negan a wink, “How much further?”

“I look hot as fuck carrying Lucille on my shoulder,” he replies, “It’ll be another hour.”

“You look hot all the time, who are we fucking kidding,” I replied leaning my head against the window, “I’m gonna try to sleep until we get there to scare the shit out of some townies. And you can be the big bad wolf and blow all the shit down.” He chuckles, “I’ll give that shit some thought,” he reaches back giving my leg a squeeze, “rest need you on your A game. Unless you want to help me rub one out.”

“You have two hands,” I yawn closing my eyes.

__________________________________________

I’m jarred awake when the truck comes to a stop. “Well good morning, sunshine,” he grins back at me. “We /are/ here.” I sit up rubbing my eyes as the sign comes into to view, ‘Alexandria’.

“Nice place,” I look at the sign as he hops from the truck, “I always wanted to live in a gated community.” I take his hand letting him help me down.

“I better go ring the fucking bell,”  he gives me one of his killer grins then saunters over to bang on the gate with Lucille.

“Little pig, little pig let me /in/,” he sings. I shake my head and smile, moving up to stand near Arat, watching as the gate is opened. I couldn’t hear what the smug man on the other side of the gate said, “You /better/ be joking,” he responded, “Negan, Lucille, I know we made one hell of a first impression.”

“Who’s that?” I whisper to Arat when another man walk up behind the first. His sad blue eyes cast down in fear.

“That’s Rick,” she responded. “The prick responsible for this shit show.” I nod watching as Negan postures for the man. Swinging his bat into the skull of a dead asshole that was stumbling toward the open gate.

“Alright everybody, let’s get started, it’s a big day. You see that what I did, that was some /service/,” Negan says to Rick. I furrow my brow as he hands the other man Lucille and walks into the community.  I draw in a breath watching the terror and confusion on the townies’ faces. “Let’s get this over with,” I mutter.

“Arat!” Negan barks. And she follows with an order to move. The tension so thick between us and them it could be cut with a knife. Negan watches as I walk by leaning in to speak to Rick loudly, “Damn I have /not/ decided if I like watching her coming or going best.”

“I can still hear you,” I call back to him over my shoulder.

“That is because I was using my outside voice,” he grunted turning his attention back to Rick. I can’t help but smile to myself as I walk out of earshot.

“Is this the infirmary?” I ask one of the citizens. She nodded rolling her eyes at me before walking away. I walk up the steps and feel a hand grab my ass. Davey. Creepy fucking Davey. He always looked at me like he wanted to eat me. My eyes sharp as I turn back to him, “You touch me again and I will break your goddamn hand.”

“Bitch, you think because you’re fuckin’ the boss that makes you shit?”

“Actually,” I narrow my eyes at him, “I know it does. Now keep your fucking hands to yourself if you want to keep them attached to your body.”

“Whatever,” he pushes past me and opens the door to the house.

“Dr. Carlson needs more gloves, antibiotics, pain meds if they got any.  Amber’s mom needs anti inflammatories,” I feel wierd looking for shit for Negan’s wives. But I push that to the pit of my stomach. I couldn’t let myself get jealous over them. Hell, he’d just given me the freedom to do whatever I wanted. I’m sure there’s some kind of catch. There’s always a catch.

“Put them back!” I walk out from the supply closet seeing a kid with a patch over his eye pointing a gun at Davey.  

“Hey, kid,” I move in front of him, in hindsight, it was probably a stupid thing, “put the gun down.” The kid points the gun over our heads and fires a shot, “You said half our stuff. That’s more than half.”

“I know the deal. And I sure as shit wanted to shoot that asshole at least twice this week, but if you shoot him, shit is gonna get so much worse before it gets better, put the gun down, I don’t want to have to carry this shit out by myself,” I lock my gaze with the kid’s.  Raising them only when the door swings open behind him and the guy, Rick, walks through the door, followed by Negan.

“Carl, put it down,” Rick urges.

“They’re taking all our medicine, he said only half,” Carl responds raising his gun up higher.

“Really kid?” Negan swaggers in stopping beside me. Still smiling as he looks from the kid to me then back.

“You should go,” Carl says, “before you find out how dangerous we all are.”

“Pardon me young man. Excuse the fuck out of my goddamn French, but did you just threaten me?” he asks, “Look I get threatening Davey. But I can’t have it. Not him, not me. And sure as shit not her.”

“Carl, just put it…” Rick starts to say.

“Don’t be rude Rick, we are having a conversation here,” he cuts his eyes back to the boy, “Where was I, oh yes your giant man sized balls. No threatening us. I like you. And I don’t want to go hard proving a point. You don’t want that. I said half your shit and /half/ is what /I/ say it is.”

I watch them trying to keep myself from trembling. I knew in my gut Negan wouldn’t hurt the kid. But I couldn’t get a read on the kid or Rick. I wasn’t sure how far off the rails they actually were. This seemingly terrified people broke into the satellite station and killed twenty people in their sleep. They were the enemy. Not us.

“Do you want me to prove how serious I am /again/?” Negan continues with the boy. He sighs and hands the gun over to his father. Negan grabs it from him, “You have an absolute ass-load of guns and this little emotional outburst has made crystal clear. I can’t allow that. They’re all mine now. So tell me, where are my guns?”

I let out a breath when Rick leads them from the house. “Pack this shit up, I’ll be back.” I take the steps after them two at a time. I slow my footsteps when I catch up with them.

“You alright, baby?” Negan asks.

“I just needed some air. Too much of that manly bullshit in there,” I shoot him a wink, “I want to take a look at the guns.”

“You got it. You can help Arat with the inventory,” he grins, “I’ll give you first grab at one for yourself.” I can’t help but smile. The garage door rolls open in front of us. I lock my gaze with that of another terrified woman.

“I was expecting you,” she said her voice as shaky as she was.

“Olivia, show them the guns,” Rick stated.

“The armory’s inside,” she starts back down the hall.

“You take care of all of this?” I ask, looking at the shelves then back to her.

“I keep track of it all. The rations, the guns,” she replied.

“Don’t let me stop you,” Negan said, “Take her and the boys and show ‘em the goods.” I follow Olivia and Arat down the hallway to the next room. It was packed almost floor to ceiling with every conceivable firearm.  Olivia hands me the register, “I keep a log there.” Her hand shaky as she shows me the list of what weapons were gone out with people on runs.

“We’re not here to hurt you,” I hop up on the desk, “we’re here to keep your people from hurting us again.”  I push the inventory list to Arat. “There is a fuck ton of weapons on that list everything looks organized.”  Arat checks off each weapon as the men load them and carry them out.

“How can you be with a man like /that/?” Olivia whimpers motioning her head in the direction of the garage.

“I could ask you the same question,” I hop down and walk outside. I bite my lip grabbing a desert eagle from a stack of guns that was being carried out by Daryl.  “This is the one I want.”

Negan laughs, taking the gun from me, “This gun is as big as you are.”

“Are you saying I can’t handle something this,” I give him a smirk, “big?”

“Oh baby, I know how well you can handle big things,” he places the gun back in my hand, standing behind me, “How well have you been taking care of my guns?” his eyes turn to Rick then motions for me to fire. I point at the window and squeeze the trigger, knocking the shutter off its hinges.

“Feels good,” I hand him back the eagle, “Sounds good.”

“Baby, you trying to get me all hard and shit while I’m trying to have a discussion with my boy, Rick?”

“I wasn’t exactly trying,” I smirk pulling my .22 from its holster and replacing it with the more impressive weapon.

“Please don’t…” I turn my eyes hearing Olivia whimper as Arat shoves her up the steps.

“We don’t do that, unless /they/ do something to deserve it,” Negan states.

“Yeah,” she replies, “I went through their inventory and they’re short a Glock 9 and a .22 Bobcat.”

“Is that true?” Negan looks at Olivia who nods her head.

“The inventory is correct,” she replied.

“That’s good but also not good,” he states, “You’re two handguns short. I don’t enjoy killing women. Men, I can kill all the livelong. But Olivia, my dear, at the end of the day this was your responsibility.” My mouth opens to protest but then closes again, remembering who is actually in charge here. I couldn’t make him look weak. Not in front of these people.

“We can work this out,” Rick pleads.

“Yes, we can,” I respond, trying to hide the frustration in my voice.

“And I’m /going/ to right now,” Negan catches Olivia’s arm, “Guns were your responsibility and you screwed up.” He cuts his gaze back to Rick, “Find them /now/.” I watch Rick rush off to their church to meet with his people.

“What are you gonna do?” I ask softly, as we sit down on the patio chairs.

“I’m a man of my word, sweetheart,” he responds, “If the guns aren’t here Olivia is gonna pay the price.” I close my eyes nodding, “Alright.” I tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Olivia, why don’t we mix up some lemonade? Get your mind off of it. If your friends are smart they’ll give up the guns.”

I tremble stirring the mix into the water looking out the window as the water turns from clear to yellow. Davey again harassing a girl. She couldn’t be more than sixteen. I look down feeling my stomach churn, my eyes watering when I carry the pitcher back outside.

Negan looks at me his normal grin fades slightly when he sees my face. “I’m fine.” I mouth, hoping there is some truth to the words. The people became more than just the enemy when they were scared shitless. The people here, most of them don’t look like they could survive five minutes outside of these walls. But they killed our people, I reminded myself.

“What you got for me Rick?” Negan’s voice interrupts my thoughts. Rick hands him a bag with the missing handguns in it. “Funny how a little ‘Holy shit! Somebody’s gonna die!’ really lights a fire under everybody’s ass.”

“Which one of your people almost killed Olivia?” I asked.

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” he answered meekly.

“It’s a hell of a place you got here, Rick,” Negan says as we finish loading up. “You sir, are special.  We’re coming back soon. And when we do you need to have something interesting for us. No more magic guns.” Negan cuts his eyes to me with a smirk, “Let’s get home. I wanna fuck my girl before and after dinner.”  I shake my head with a smile, climbing up into the truck. I watch from the seat as he smacks a walker in the head with a candlestick. He grabs Lucille from Rick and climbs up in the truck after me.

“Jee-sus, that was one hell of a fucking tense ass shit trip,” his lips turn into a devilish smile, “Hurry home, I am hard as hell unless she’s changed her mind about that road head. It’s gonna be awhile before she blows me.”

“I haven’t changed my mind. You can wait an hour,” I move from his seat to mine in the back as the truck moves down the road, I give him a smirk, “I hope I can.”

_____________________________________________

“We’re home,” I’m not sure how long I’ve enjoyed hearing his sing songy voice.

“Good, I’m horny and hungry,” I smirk as I hop down from the truck, avoiding locking eyes with his. “I haven’t decided which itch I want to scratch first.” I open the Sanctuary doors and walk inside. I could feel his gaze follow after me before his footsteps. He catches my shoulder spinning me around pushes me against the wall, “You don’t get to say shit like that and walk away.”

“I don’t?” I rest my hands on his sides, “I was just stating a fact.” My eyes dark as I look up at him, “I was hoping you’d be the one to solve all my problems.”

“You know I will,” he smirks lifting my chin, his lips press fully against mine. I open my mouth, my tongue dancing with his. I could feel the kiss deep in my core.

“Are you gonna fuck me against the wall in front of everyone?” I break the kiss, glancing around as half the factory was looking at us, “Or take me back to your room?”

“Day-um, girl, you almost made me forget where I was,” he scoops me up throwing me over his shoulder, “The rest of you shits back to whatever the fuck you were doing.” I giggle as he carries me down the hall. He pushes open his apartment door and kicks it closed behind him, wasting no time before dropping me on the bed.

I raise up to on my elbows watching him, “I wouldn’t have objected to being fucked against the wall.” I glide my tongue over my lips, “The secret is already out.”

“I give two shits if they know,” he lowers the zipper of his jacket dropping it on the arm of the leather couch, “especially if it makes you mine.”

I toe off my boots and pop the button of my jeans, “I can’t be your wife, Negan. Not like them. I don’t /need/ you to take care of me.” I lift my hips and push my jeans down as he tugs his shirt over his head.

“Fuck, this shit isn’t supposed to be fucking complicated,” he groans moving to the bed.

“It’s less complicated when you are inside me,” I sit up fully on the bed, my hand rests on his bearded cheek and I pull his face to mine. My leg hooks around his hip and I pull him flush against me. His cock hard grinding against my damp panties through his jeans.  I smirk against his lips as I tug his belt open, dipping my hand inside his pants, stroking him long and slow.

“You are a fucking tease baby,” he groans against my lips. “Since I laid eyes on you this morning you’ve been teasing me.”

“I didn’t mean to,” I shift so that we’re laying beside each other on the bed, my hand still stroking his member. “I missed you though,” I suck softly on his lower lip, then trail kisses over his jawline and down his neck. Moaning at the taste of his salty flesh. I push him to his back, smiling as he relinquishes control. My lips nibble and their way along his chest and over his stomach. His cock twitches in his pants as I press a soft kiss through them.

“Goddamn,” he utters, “I fucking missed the fuck outta you too.” He kicks his boots off and pushes his pants down, chuckling as his now free cock almost hits me in the face, “he needs your attention, baby.”

“Does he now?” I swirl my tongue around the head. “I guess I’ll have to give it to him.” I groan wrapping my lips around his head. Suckling soft, slow, savoring the taste of him. Negan’s hand reaches down stroking my hair. I take him deeper, my hand moving down massaging his balls. My lips tight and my tongue skims along his shaft, teeth grazing slightly. His grip on my hair tightens. I groan moving my mouth faster up and down his length. I slurp and suck as he begins to thrusts. I let the tip hit the back of my throat with a moan of my own. I could feel his cock thicken, twitching as he gets closer and closer.

“Oh fuck, baby,” he slows his movements, giving me back the control I need, I stroke and suck as he releases in my throat, I suck and lick and swallow each satisfying drop. “Goddamn, shit, fuck, that was good.” I smile over at him as I fall to the bed beside him. “I fucking mean it,” he looks at me, “you make me see fucking stars everytime you suck my dick. It’s fucking magical.”

“Thank you,” I watch him smiling, his pants still around his thighs, “I am glad you enjoyed.”

“I more than fucking enjoyed,” he pulls me to his chest, “Give me a minute, fuck, for my legs to work again.” I can’t help but chuckle. “You can’t fucking tell anyone that you are my fucking kryptonite.”

“Stop,” I press my face into his shoulder to quiet my laughs, “I am hungry. What do you have to eat in here since you can’t walk and take me for a proper meal?” I stand from the bed. I tug the hair tie from my hair and let it cascade down my back. He reaches down pulling his pants back up.

“I got whiskey,” he chuckles nodding at the bottle of jack on the table in the corner, “and salted nuts.”

“Is your plan to starve me into submission?” I turn back to him smiling, “I am already here.”

“I hadn’t thought about that,” he sits up pulling me into his lap, his hands gripping my hips, “I can’t have you starve though. I like your ass just as it is.”

“We can go down stairs grab a tray of food from the kitchen,” I lean back against his chest, “But that would require pants.”

“I am not fucking ready for you to get back in your pants. I /just/ got you out of them.” He gives my tit a squeeze over my shirt.

I groan at his touch, my hips rolling slowly in his lap, “How do we solve this problem?”  He reaches over grabbing his walkie and calls for Fat Joey, telling him to bring some food up.

Negan wraps his arm around my waist to stop my movements. “Fuck, if you ain’t already tryin’ to make my dick hard again. I sure as shit don’t want Fat Joey walking in while I’m pounding into you.”

“I never figured you to be the shy one,” I tilt my head pressing my lips to his, “So, what do you want to do until dinner comes?” He lifts me up and drops me on the bed then plops beside me.

“Let me just have a fucking look at you,” he lays on his side and I turn to face him, “you sure you don’t wanna be my wife? You’d look hot as hell in a black dress and heels.”

“Hell no,” I push my hair out of my face, “I hate wearing dresses, can’t walk in heels. Don’t want someone to just take care of me.”

“I want to fucking take care of you,” he says, “keep you out of the shit show.”

“I can handle the shit show,” I rest my hand on his face, “I can take care of myself. Wouldn’t you rather I be with you because I want to, not because I feel obligated to? I can be yours if you want me,” I lock my gaze with his, “I just can’t be one of them.”

“Shi-ot,” he responds, “you drive one hell of a fucking bargain, baby.” He presses his lips to my forehead as his hand gropes my tit. “You are /mine/. If you keep giving me head like that I can bend the fucking rules.”  

“You are all about the rules though,” I lift my face to his pressing my lips to his, “thank you.” A knock at the door interrupts the kiss. “Dinner.” I smile as he rolls from the bed.

“Fat Joseph,” he chuckles as he opens the door, “/my/ girl wants me to feed her before I fuck her so get your ass in here with her food.” My face flushes a pink. He looks over at me, “Why you acting all bashful now?”

“Yes, sir. Negan,” he brings in the tray of food in and sets it on the table. “Anything else you need?” Joey looks from Negan to me with a dumb grin on his face.

“Don’t look at her,” Negan barked, “Get the fuck out.” He slams the door after the man.

“Looks good,” I step from the bed taking a carrot from the plate, “I used to hate eating cooked carrots.” I chew then swallow, “But now I love them. Guess a lot changes at the end of the world.”

“Come over here and sit down with me,” he pats the seat next to his, “I fucking need a closer look at those titties.”

“I was having trying to have a moment with you,” I take a seat next to him, picking up another piece of carrot.

“Nobody likes carrots,” he chuckles picking one up and taking a bite, “except fucking rabbits.” He gives my thigh a squeeze, “I think I like you better without pants. If you won’t wear a dress just a t-shirt that clings to your titties like that is fine with me.”

“I like you better without pants too. If you want to walk around the Sanctuary in just your underwear so will I,” I grab a fork and jab it into the mystery meat on my plate.

“I am the leader of the Saviors,” he grins, “and you’re my...what are we gonna call you.”

“Lover, Queen,” I smirk straddling his lap, “Goddess. Baby. Light of your life. Any one of those work for me. Or we can not have a label.”

He chuckles, sliding his hands along my thighs, cupping my ass, “I like you even more when you’re sitting in my lap like that.” He grinds up into me. I groan leaning in to kiss him.  My hand reaches between us tugging at the button of his pants to pull his cock out again. Without breaking the kiss he lifts my hips up pushes my panties aside and grins against my lips. “I love how fucking wet you get for me.” I line him up with my warm wet entrance and sink down fully on his length. “Jee-sus, baby,” he groans into my lips as I take him all the way in, “I almost forgot how fucking fantastic your pussy feels.”

“Shhh…” I moan as I start to rock my hips, my fingers clinging to his shoulders for balance as I move. His grip on my hips tightens and he thrusts up into me matching my movements. Rock for rock thrust for thrust we move together. I moan when his hand moves between us rubbing my clit causing me to squeeze tighter around him. Move faster. I groan when he lifts me laying me on my back on the couch and drives his cock hard and deep inside my warmth, hitting the spot that makes me come undone. My thighs tighten as they start to tremble around his hips and my walls pulse around him. “Fuck, Negan,” I cry out as I cum, my eyes dark as they fix on his. He pulls out stroking his cock a few times before releasing on my shirt.

“Goddamn, shit,” he chuckles his pants still almost on and covered with my juices. “I like that shit.”

“I know,” I tug my shirt up and over my head after adjusting my panties, “here’s the evidence.” I giggle tossing it in his direction.

“You did not just throw your cum covered shirt at me,” he lifts me up in his arm and swats my ass with his palm.

I squeal, “It’s your cum. Take me to bed now. You have successfully warned me out.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he chuckles and carries me over to the bed. He drops me and tugs off his clothes and climbs in beside me. “Rest now.” I tuck myself in his side and close my eyes. Feeling right next to him.

[cryptidwizard]

Okay, I got one: Mikey and April doing a slumber party. Shenanigans.

okay so i actually tried writing this a few times when i was without my computer for two months but then completely forgot about it. i’m sorry for the wait and hope it was worth it. fic under the cut! tumblr is fucky and didn’t space it correctly so heres an ao3 link

April lovedher new friends, how could she not? They had saved her life, helped her findher father, taught her to protect herself, trained her as one of their own,befriended her in a time she had felt so alone, and became family to them. Theywere a little strange sure, but they were her’s. Leonardo was like a loveableolder brother, sort of nerdy but a welcome and reassuring presence. Raphael wasan enthusiastic and passionate brother, a little intense but a great sparringpartner. Donatello was smart, a genius even, sure she didn’t return hisfeelings and saw him more as family, but she still cared about him. (Besidesshe was still struggling to deal with her crush on her best friend Irma.)Michelangelo however, she felt closest to. He was fun and like a ray ofsunshine despite the darkness of the sewers. He was talented and the sweetyounger brother you always wanted to have, mischief and pranks aside. So, whenMikey had nervously asked her if she wanted to have a sleepover with him likepeople always did in tv shows he’d watch, she jumped at the chance, grinningwildly. So, Aprilhad told her father she was sleeping over at a friend’s house, loaded down withsome face masks and other fun sleepover supplies (nontoxic to mutant turtles ofcourse, she had done her own research and had asked Donnie to make sure). Sure,she had gone all out but this was Mikey, he was like a baby brother and he hadnever had a human friend or a sleepover. So, it became April’s mission to makethis the best sleepover ever. The turtles had offered to meet her and walk herto the lair, but she insisted she was okay, feeling confident with her weaponof choice the Tessan and a large can of pepper spray. After ashort trip through the sewers she arrived in the abandoned subway station,leaping over the turnstiles. April knew the others already knew she was here,from Donnie’s security cameras no doubt. Her suspicions were confirmed when anexcited shriek of “APRIL!!” sounded the room and she was pulled into anenthusiastic hug. She laughed and returned the hug, jeez she had gotten a lotstronger since training to be a kunoichi but wow the turtles were strong. “Hi Mikey! Are you prepared for your first and best sleepover ever?” She asked,faking a serious tone as her grinning companion released her from his hug trap.“Hell yeah I am!” Mikey shouted, barely containing his excitement.An annoyed “Language.” came from beloved stick in the mud older brother Leofrom the kitchen. April and Mikey exchanged looks, muffling their giggles. “Right sorry, I meant shell yeah I am!” He shouted again. April snorted atMikey’s attempt to recover from cursing. He took her hand and enthusiasticallylead her to his room, she waved to Leo as they passed by the kitchen, havingalready briefed the three brothers and Sensei on her sleepover plans.April letout a low and impressed whistle upon seeing Mikey’s room, he had cleaned up forher, aww. There were no left-over pizza slices or boxes left around! MasterSplinter couldn’t even get Mikey to clean his room, she kind of felt honored. The orange mask clad turtle noticed her expression and grinned, pretty proud ofhimself, “I know right? That’s how hyped I am.” April snickered and pulled outher duffle bag which had been filled to the brim with fun sleepover things todo, sure it was kind of middle school of her but hey Mikey has never done thisbefore, so she was pulling out all the stops. “Okay so I know you like makeup and pretty stuff like that, so I grabbed someof my makeup kits from when I was younger and some stuff Irma left at my house.I also got facemasks and nail polish along with some of those sleepover gamesmy dad got for me to get to know my friends with. Sound good?” She asked,pulling out some of the supplies, sure she wasn’t that into makeup and all thatbut upon seeing the amount of excited emojis Mikey had sent upon hearing shehad stuff like that in the group chat she just had to bring some. Mikey openedhis mouth to ask a question, but April beat him to it, “And yeah everything is mutantturtle safe I already asked Donnie about it, we don’t want your skin gettingfucky again.” Mikey nodded satisfied with the answer, shuddering at the thoughtof his shellacne.He brightened again, “Sounds awesome! Let’s do this!” April grinned and the funbegan. They put on some cheesy movie Mikey had rented, vowing to watch the actionflick that April had brought afterwards. She was now demonstrating how to paintnails on Mikey’s, thankfully since he had less fingers than she did it got donefaster. When April had asked what colors Mikey answered, blue, red, and purple.She arched an eyebrow at him, a smile on her face, it was no wonder why he hadchosen those colors. Mikey grinned, “Okay they’reaesthetically pleasing colors but I also love my dumb brothers.” He retorted,pretending to pout but not bothering to fully mask his smile. April rolled hereyes with a grin and finished up painting his nails. “Whatdya think?” She asked, she wasn’t the best with painting nails, but shehad nail polish remover packed and cleaned up her mistakes. Michelangelo beamed, “Oooh fancy I approve.” He said in a fake haughty tone ofvoice. April snickered and moved on to his toes, “Once they dry you can do mine if youwant.” She offered, Mikey nodded excitedly. After finishing she held out herhand for her friend to paint, trusting him to do a good job since he was themost artistic of the turtles after all. (Besides she would’ve let him do iteven if he couldn’t paint for shit.) “What colordyou want?” He asked. April thought for a moment and shrugged, “Surprise me.” Mikey grinned and gotto work as April turned her attention back towards the movie, assuring Mikeyshe wouldn’t peak. An enthusiastic “Ta-da!” distracted her from the movie, shelooked down at her nails. She smiled softly, her heart effectively warmed. Thecolors Mikey had chosen were blue, red, purple, orange, and yellow. Judgingfrom the turtle’s expression and her regular outfit, yellow represented her. “Y’know cause you’re like an honorary Hamato now…” He said softly, Aprilblinked rapidly, a grin spreading across her face. “I love it.” She said pulling him into a hug.Mikey giggled, “Hey c’mon don’t mess up my nails!” He complained, obviouslyjoking. The girl began to laugh, “You sound like Irma.” Mikey began to paint her toes when his grin became catlike, “Ooh Irma huh? Is she the goth girl you arealways making goo-goo eyes at whenever we were shadowing you to make sure youwere safe from the Kraang?” He asked, a smug tone in his voice as if he alreadyknew the answer. April’s face reddened, and she resisted the instinctive urgeto kick her friend in the face and bolt.“W-what?! No!” She exclaimed, hiding her flushed face with her still dryinghands.Mikey made a pouting noise sounding like a kicked puppy, “C’mon Apriillllllll,you’re a Hamato nowwww you gotta tell me, your sweet innocent baby brother.” Heprotested. April sent a mock glare at him, jeez now she knew why Mikey had hisolder brothers wrapped around his finger.She sighed, “Okay one, pulling the family card like that is cold. Two, you areanything but innocent. Three, stop grinning like that. Four, y-yeah that’s her…She’s so cute Mikey you don’t understand!”He finished painting her toes looking satisfied with his handiwork before leaningin close, “Tell me everything.” He replied, a serious expression on his face,poorly masking his smug grin.After a long-winded explanation of just how pretty Irma’s eyes were and abouthow they met, and Irma’s kissable lips April let out a loud groan. “I’m so gayMikester, I don’t even know my sexuality yet but I’m so gay.”Mikey giggled, bumping her shoulder reassuringly with his, “Don’t worry aboutit, Leo practically has a heart attack every time he sees a cute boy on patroland he still claims he’s straight. You’ll figure it out.” He reassured. April looked up at him from where he was doing her makeup, armed with aneyeshadow brush. “How’d you get so wise?”“I took a bunch of quizzes on BuzzFeed, I’m pan ace. Close your eyes.” Hereplied, she complied and closed her eyes, wrinkling her nose as she felt thepowder tickle her eyelids. After he finished she looked up again, “Huh, cool. I had no idea.” Mikey grinned, posing almost dramatically, added with the fact she had alreadydone his makeup he looked pretty great. “Of course you didn’t, I’m like anonion. I got layers.” He replied, struggling to keep a serious expression onhis face.April groaned loudly, “You did. Not. Just quote Shrek. Mikey no stop laughingI’m gonna pepper spray you.” She said deadpan, both knowing she was joking.Mikey stuck a defiant tongue out at her. He brightened, “Wait I just had two, (2) great ideas. First, you take someselfies and send them to Irma. And second, we water balloon my poorunsuspecting brothers.”April grinned widely, “Let’s do it.”After taking some pictures together and a few of just themselves April sentsome to Irma. They then loaded up on water balloons, Mikey already having abunch prefilled. She didn’t ask why, he was Doctor Prankenstein after all. Theysnuck out into the lair, keeping their feet light with ease given they both hadsome degree of ninja training. Raph was in the dojo practicing getting out someenergy, Donnie was in the lab, Leo was in the kitchen making tea. “Okay, to get away with an assault of this scale all at once we gotta getDonnie first, he might help since you are on my side. Then we gotta get Raphand we have to flip him, he’ll be so impressed he won’t yell. Then we get Leo,he’ll be expecting my attack with big bro instincts so you gotta get him withyours.” Mikey informed just above a whisper, April nodded seriously. They entered the lab, Donnie was working on something by the algae pool. Theduo had entered via the garage entrance rather than the clunky metal door of thelair hoping to not alert Donnie. He didn’t look up, “Oh hey Mikey I’m justcollecting some sampl- “Donatello began to say before being interrupted by awater balloon colliding with his shell, surprising him and sending him tumblinginto the pool. April let out a startled and soft laugh,“Sorry Don, do us a favor and don’t tell?” She asked, pulling him from thepool. Donnie looked bewildered and was dripping wet, he grabbed a towel from adesk, having fallen in the pool before. He opened his mouth as if to complain before catching a glimpse of the pleadingand gleeful look on April’s face before shutting it and sighing, “Okay but onlyif you are getting Raph too.”Mikey grinned wickedly, “Of course.” They slipped into the dojo, Raph was jamming out to some loud rock music withhis earbuds and hadn’t heard them come in. They gave two quick thumbs up toDonnie who was waiting in the living room with an exasperated expression. Mikeynodded to April wordlessly saying it was her turn and she pulled back and flungthe water balloon to Raph’s shell. Before he had time to react they rushedforward and grabbed both of his arms, Mikey’s leg slipping out and trippingRaph’s using the momentum to flip him over both of their shoulders. He lookedup at them stunned, taking out his earbuds. “…Nice shot.” He said surprised.Mikey and April grinned and high-fived.Last was Leo, but he was going to be the most difficult. Mikey had complainedin the past that Leo had some crazy way of telling every time he was going topull a prank, he’d bested him before but never all three of his brothers in onenight. With April’s help he was going down. Leo was sipping his tea, his Space Heroes marathon just ended so now he wasrelaxing. He swore he heard something, he frowned, narrowing his eyes andunconsciously slipped into a defensive stance. A water balloon whizzed towardshim, he dodged narrowly, it splattering on the wall behind him. “Mikeeeeeeey.” He said in his annoying big brother tone. Suddenly a waterballoon came from the ceiling and landed dead center on his plastron. He made asurprised noise as April and Mikey leaped down from the rafters they hadclimbed in order to get the drop on him, both incredibly proud of themselves.“How- how did you?” He began to ask, slightly incredulous and a littleimpressed. “We’ll never tell! Just another shocking attack by the hands of DoctorPrankenstein and Lady Pranksalot!” Mikey yelled loudly, a wide and satisfiedgrin on his face. April giggled, struggling not to burst into laughter. Donnieand Raph filed in, both still damp before pulling out a pizza from the fridgeand placing it in the microwave.Leo sighed, a fondly exasperated look on his face. “Nice job enlisting April inyour plan.” He scanned their smug faces for a second before frowning inconfusion. “Are… Are you both wearing makeup?” He asked.Mikey and April nodded, “Yeah bro makeovers are a huge part of sleepovers, duh.”Mikey replied, stealing a spare slice of pizza that had just been removed fromthe microwave, not caring the cheese slightly burned his fingers.Leo thought for a moment, “Can… Can you do mine?” The Hamatos sans Splinter who retired to bed early were all lounging on thecouch, wearing facemasks having removed their makeup after plenty ofshenanigans. April and Mikey wordlessly fist bumped, satisfied that they haddragged the others into their fun. Raph grumbled, “I can’t believe you both talked me into this.”Donnie who was blowing on his freshly painted nails to dry them looked over athim, rolling his eyes. “Raph please the second Mikey said facemasks youinsisted on trying some out. Your skincare routine is almost as intense as Leo’s.”The turtle in question made an offended noise at the teasing of his skincare.April snickered, normally she dreaded this kind of thing and avoided sleepoverswhenever possible but with the turtles she didn’t mind and if it meant spendingtime with them all aside from missions and training she’d jump at the chance todo it again. She sighed contently, feeling at home in the abandoned subwaystation of all places surrounded by the mutants who had become her family. 

[nikky-the-writer]

Try to change the future (Donald Pierce x Reader)(1/3)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Summary: Reader’s and Pierce’s life before the events from ˝Logan˝

Warnings: cursing, mentions of sex….I don’t think that there are any spoilers for the movie, but I’m not sure…

A/N: I’m finally posting this, it should have been a one-shot, but I really got carried away, so it will have like two more parts. If anyone has some request for Donald Pierce you can send it to me, but please write some details and I’ll start writing them after I finish all of my things in progress.

More than a decade ago everything was different, the whole world was different.

There were mutants among us, people with extraordinary abilities. They tried to live in peace, but they were hunted by the group named The Reavers. The leader of the group was Donald Pierce. For Pierce it was just a job. He was a man paid to hunt the mutants, but after his life turned against him it became more than a job. It became hatred towards every single mutant out there. But why did he became the man who hated mutants? There’s a simple answer, but let’s begin from the start….

˝Y/N/N why is that creep keeps looking here? ˝ Wade asked as you sat in front of him at the small table in a crowded pub. On your left was Remy LeBeau and on your right Chris Bradley.

˝Who? ˝ You were sitting relaxed in your chair playing with the edge of your glass. Wade didn’t say anything, but he just moved his head in the direction of the bar. You turned around and saw a well-known man and you suppressed your smile turning back to Wade.

˝Maybe, he is in love with you. ˝ You said, winking at your brother.

˝Well, I think you are almost right, but is not me on who is he keeping his eyes on. ˝He leaned closer to you over the table. ˝Would you tell him kindly to fuck off? ˝ Wade moved back in his seat glancing at the man. ˝Wade, are you serious? Has he done something wrong? ˝ ˝I want to stop him before he does. ˝ Wade’s voice turned from playful to serious. ˝If you don’t tell him to move away from you, I will stick my sword in him. ˝ ˝Is that a euphemism? ˝ Remy asked and you laughed at Wade. ˝Just look at that dick ˝   Wade said, pinching your arm. You turned around and you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling at the blond man.

˝I saw that. Y/N why did I see that? ˝ Wade asked. ˝You let him fuck you, didn’t you? ˝

You leaned across the table and you felt Remy’s arm on your shoulder stopping you from coming closer to Wade.

˝Take that back or you are going to lose something. ˝

˝Wait a second. ˝ Wade dramatically said ˝You are right, he didn’t fuck you, because no man would look at you the way he does if he had fucked you. He is looking at you like he is… ˝

You slapped him and he didn’t say a word for a few seconds. Suddenly, he stood up looking at you. ˝Should I talk to that piece of shit or you will? ˝ Wade wasn’t in the mood for fun, so you stopped him.

˝Fine I’ll talk to him. ˝ You walked away from him and you sat at the empty place next to the smiling man.

˝Scotch˝ You ordered and you started talking without facing him. ˝Donny, I told you to stop it. ˝

˝I just got back. ˝ He leaned closer to you and you faced him. Turning your back to your brother. You grazed your fingers over his and you quietly exhaled.

˝I know, but I promised guys to hang with them. ˝

˝Just tell them that you are not feeling alright. ˝ He was eager to hold you. He missed you, he was away for three weeks.

˝I can't˝

A smile on his face disappeared and he turned his face to the half empty glass in front of him. ˝You are never going to tell him, are you? ˝ He smiled to himself, shaking his head a little. ˝Why do you care if he found’s out? He is just your leader, nothing else. ˝

˝He is my friend. My oldest friend. ˝

˝What about me Y/N/N? We’ve been together for eight months and we are still hiding it from everyone. ˝ He looked at you with sadness in his eyes and you start leaning into him, but then you felt somebody’s arm on your shoulder.

˝Y/N? Are you coming? ˝You heard your brother’s voice. He looked at Donald waiting for your answer. ˝Pierce˝

˝Wilson˝

˝I didn’t know that your little boy band was back in the town. ˝

You groaned out of frustration when Wade said that. ˝God, Wade  just grow up. ˝ You pushed him slightly away.

˝I have to grow up? Look at yourself Y/N/N, you are here talking to this asshole while you could be there with us. ˝ Donald stood from his chair and you quickly moved between them.

˝You are choosing him!? ˝ Wade asked, annoyed.

˝I’m not choosing anyone, just walk it off. ˝ Wade rolled his eyes and headed out with Remy and Chris, just a second after, Donald headed out. You stopped him, grabbing him for his forearm and he turned around quickly.

˝What do you want Y/N/N? ˝ His voice cracked a little. He was tired of you pushing him away. For everyone he was a cold blooded murderer, but not for you, at least he thought so. You came closer to him, interrupting his thought as you kissed him. He sneaked his arms behind your back, pulling you closer. After a while, you pulled away breathless and you placed your forehead on his. He looked down at you waiting for you to say something.

˝I’m sorry. Donny I will tell him, but he is not a fan of yours. He hates your gut. ˝You said through giggles. You tried to move away the thought of telling your brother that you were dating Pierce because your brother hated him, although you never knew why.

˝That’s not funny˝ He put his arm around you guiding, you both out of the bar.

˝I’m still not used to it. ˝You confessed looking at him from the bed as he stood in front of you taking his shirt off.

˝Tattoo? Still? ˝

˝Yeah, I don’t know. ˝

He lowered himself on top of you and he kissed the corner of your mouth. His left hand trailed down your body to the hem of your shirt while he was supporting himself with his right hand so that he wouldn’t crush you under his weight.

˝Could I help you decide? ˝

˝What do you have in mind? ˝You smirked at him pulling your shirt off, revealing your black bra to him.

˝A lot of things. ˝

You rolled your eyes at his smug face and you guided him down to your lips. As the kiss grow more passionate he lowered his body on you. Your hands were gripping his hair, pulling him closer.

˝God, I love you˝ He sighed kissing your neck all the way to your belly button. You just laid there stiff, your hands were still on him, but you weren’t pulling his hair anymore so he looked up. ˝Oh, shit, I’m an idiot. ˝He said to himself realizing what he said. ˝I really found a right moment to tell you. I’m sorry. ˝

He laid down next to you waiting for you to say something. You never said it before. It was obvious that he did love you, but hearing him say it, made it realistic.

˝I’ll tell him tomorrow. ˝ You said, breaking the silence, looking at the ceiling.

˝You don’t have to. ˝ He interviewed his fingers with yours. You lifted yourself and you sat on his lower torso with your legs on both sides of him. ˝But I will ‘cause I love you. ˝

He pulled you closer with his hand on your chin. You kissed and you start sucking the skin on his neck, just the skin covered with ink.

˝You don’t hate it? ˝ His voice was like a whisper incoherent from his moans.

˝Honestly, you look hot with it, maybe you could get another one. But this time bring me to you. ˝

He smiled, kissing you again as your hands went all the way to the zipper of his pants. Quickly unzipping them, he was left only in his boxers and you smiled at his body below you. Just as you were in your mind thinking of what you could do with him, he rolled you over and now he was on top of you. He was dominant, but yet gentle always making sure that you were satisfied. With his hands he removes your pants just like you did with him and he settled himself on your lower body.

˝God, I’ve missed you. ˝

˝Well, not a God, but because of the way you look at my body. I think I’m pretty close. ˝ He lowered his lips to your neck as you hold your hands in his hair. He kissed the skin above your breast and his hand sneak behind your back removing your bra. ˝Can you be even more perfect? ˝

˝Shut up, Donny. ˝You said shyly.

He didn’t wasted his time, moving his lips to your hips, placing soft kisses on them.

His right hand went lower to your panties while he was steadying himself with the other one. He tugged the edge of your panties. His mouth started working they way to your inner tight and you stopped him pulling his head up to meet his eyes.

˝Take them of˝ You command.

˝And the last time you said that I was dominant. ˝ He said through a chuckle.

˝Let’s say that I usually let you to be˝

His eyes were wide open and he was a few inches away from your face. Closing the space between you two with his body.

˝Really, you let me? ˝

You nodded with your head and instantly you felt his body moving away from you.

˝What are you doing? ˝

˝Well, I’m going to take a cold shower. I mean you can join me and let me make you scream. ˝ He said with a teasing voice heading to the bathroom. You kept laying there for a few seconds looking at him while he throwed his boxers in your direction and then disappeared into the bathroom. He left the door open for you and you quickly followed.

Your hair and your skin were still wet from the shower. Cold air made you shiver as you waited for Donald only in his shirt laying on the covers.

˝I can’t find your pills˝ He said bringing you a glass of water.

˝In the bathroom on the second shelf˝ He nodded and he quickly comes to you sitting on the bed and taking two pills from the bottle giving them to you. You took them and you drank the whole glass of water, putting it on the night stand. He kissed your forehead, moving covers and placing you next to him on the bed. As he pulled the covers over both of you, he snuggled closer to you with his hand on your waist and his chin in the crook of your neck.

A/N: I tagged everyone that wanted me to post this, so if you want to be added or removed from the tag list just tell me.

Tag list:  @we-love-our-bandz, @tc-stark, @stonedsoldier23, @nearlybandoms, @fuzzysnowyou, @sinners-glory, @tonictransistor, @arabella-fella, @missphanosaur18, @onlyasoulthings

[donaldresslerfanfic]

In need of space.

Rating: M

Warnings: Strong Language (little bit)

Word Count: 2045

Donald Ressler X OC Maggie Waters.

Chapter: Eleven.

Chapter Index

Story on Wattpad

Maggie.

“I need a favor, Raymond” I said after finishing the tour of the cabin.

He turned to me and linked his hands, holding his hat in them.

“It’s not like a monetary favor or-”

“And even if it was I would be happy to provide Maggie” he interrupted. I paced around the room and sighed

“Audrey canceled the engagement, Donald and her are dating again and I’m…” I took a deep breath, feeling my eyes water again like an idiot.“I can’t, I need to get away to think”

“What exactly do you need Maggie?”

“I need you to tell my boss that you need me to check something in Rhode Island, to give me a few more days to be at my sister’s before we visit my dad”

“Are your bags packed?” I just nodded “Dembe can get the jet, we can be wheels up in an hour” I just nodded again and gave him a thankful look.

Dembe helped me with my bag, but before I left and when I was alone in my apartment I gave a call to Don. Thank god it went to voicemail.

“Hey Donnie it’s Maggie. Listen I know I sound like a total jackass, and that I haven’t been truthful to you it’s just that” I stopped to sit in my couch “it’s my dad’s death anniversary this weekend and I’ve been feeling just… Not up for a lot of things. I’m going to my sister’s house to spend some time with her and her family and sort my head around. I need a bit of space and I hope you don’t mind if I don’t answer your calls. The first dinner after this its on me I promise. I’ll talk to you next week, bye”

That wasn’t far from what I actually intended to say. I wanted to say that I needed to figure out where my feelings stood, and what was I going to do with them now that they don’t have a space in Donald’s life, but whatever. Sorting things out, sorting my head out, was the best thing I could do now.

The jet ride was a lonely one. Raymond talked to my boss and I got the work leave, to which I was immensely grateful to Raymond.

2 hours later I was standing in front of my sister’s house, knocking on the door.

It opened and behind it I saw my sister with a big smile. My eyes instantly dropped to her noticeable baby bump.

“Surprise!” She said while showcasing it.

What happened after that was that I screamed and almost tackled her while giving little jumps, to which she accompanied me

“Oh my god oh my god! You’re pregnant again?!” I stopped and looked at her, my hands reaching to her stomach. I gave a few more happy jumps, a big ear to ear smile on my face. “I can’t believe it! This is the boy right?”

“We’re hoping it is” she said.

“Is it safe to come out?” Ethan, my brother in law came out of the kitchen, I quickly walked to him and also almost tackled him, he hugged me back. Ethan was almost like a big brother to me, even before he began to date my sister, he was always the coolest dude to be around.

“You know what they say right?” I said turning to my sister while Ethan walked to get the bags I dropped at their porch. “To get a different gender you have to change husband” I nudged my sister while Ethan gave me a stank eye, I chuckled and gave my sister another sideways hug.

“For the record we were going to tell everyone this weekend when we got together”

“You’re like 6 months pregnant already” I said touching her stomach again.

“No, this is the third month” she said touching the base.

“No way”

“It’s also the third baby” she clarified, holding me by the arm gently and taking me to the kitchen

“Where are Talia and Ella?”

“School, like normal girls” my sister rolled her eyes.

Yes, Talia and Ella, and we were Maddie and Maggie. Stupid name choices all of them. I was always confused with Maddie, since I was four years after her in the same school, I ended up changing schools after a whole month of correcting people that I was Maggie not Maddie.

“So, Margaret Waters” she said and handed me a cup of tea. I sighed and looked at my hands “what happened, and don’t tell me nothing because I know you better than you know yourself” there was no denying that. I took the cup and looked at her.

“I think I became a jealous bitch”

Maddie rolled her eyes and sat down in the kitchen stool near the island.

“OK, tell me everything”

“Before I do, how does this work? If it’s a boy with who does he have to rhyme?”

“With Ethan of course”

“And what rhymes with Ethan?”

“Nathan” she replied smugly, I let out a chuckle and shook my head, then got serious.

“OK, I’ll tell you everything.”

And I did, Maddie was my sister she would’ve known if I was hidding something. So I hid nothing, I only ommited the part that Raymond was a criminal, but me working with him, Donald, him working in the FBI, us meeting, our outings, our talks, everything.

By the time I got to the current situation, Audrey’s, we were standing in the kitchen while she was getting dinner ready. My nieces had come home and it was my turn to be tackled by them. My sister shushed them away telling them that I was tired from the travel.

“So he’s dating back his ex” she recapped. I nodded and sighed, crossing my arms at my chest. “And at which point did you exactly became a jealous bitch?”

“I stopped seeing him, I only text him and occasionally talk with him. He’s always talking about her and I just can’t handle it”

“Well, Mags, you have just a couple of days to figure out what are you going to do with this, because you know what I’ll say. I’ll tell you to just tell him that you were jealous because you though you had a chance with him, if you keep hiding and hiding he’s never going to know how you feel. And if you don’t tell him how you feel he may never realize that he feels the same way about you too. Don’t be bitter and jealous and just talking about people on their backs, I’d like to believe I’ve taught you better than that”

I just nodded. My sister had taught me better, forgive and forget, being salty or rancorous wasn’t a theme in our family. We’ve always been bold and direct, specially with our feelings.

But telling someone that you love them knowing that those feeling don’t have a place doesn’t come easy to anyone, no matter how bold or direct.

In that moment my phone rang with a message, I gave my sister a look and picked up my phone.

“It’s a message from Donald” I pressed the message and read out loud “hey Maggie, I totally understand and I hope this few days help you to feel better, I want my cheery friend who owes me dinner by next week. Best wishes”

“Aww” she cooed and placed a hand on my shoulder “he cares about you too Maggie. Maybe not as much as you, but he still wants to hang out with you, you’re his friend. And you have to be the best friend you can”

“Yeah, until they decide to get married and she asks me to be the maid of honor, and watch them seal their lives together, I’ll be the best friend there is” I said sarcastically.

“Yes, you will. Maybe it wasn’t written Mags, just move on, you’ll find the right one soon”

I wanted so badly for Don to be the right one.

“I think I’ll lay down until dinner” I said, walking out the kitchen and up to the guest room my sister had prepared for me.

I just needed to sort my head around, and I had five days to do it.

Ressler.

I put my phone back in my pocket after replaying the voicemail Maggie had left me to Liz. She only gave me a smug look

“Do you need any more confirmation that she has a thing for you?”

I shook my head no.

“She’s been avoiding me, like you said. We only text, we haven’t met up for dinner or even coffee, she’s stopped going to the cafe on Fridays. Why is she avoiding me?”

“Because you replaced her.”

“I’ve been trying to get her to meet me and have dinner like we used to but she shuts me out.”

“Yeah, have dinner with her for you to blab about how perfect your life with Audrey is now right?”

I looked away and sighed, maybe Liz was right, maybe I was being too suffocating about Audrey.

“Well, what now?”

“You just have to wait until she comes back. She probably left to think” she stood up from her seat and picked up her phone “it’s Red, I have to meet with him”

I just nodded and walked out our office with her, I guess I’ll just have to wait till next week, thank God Reddington has a name for us.

Maggie.

Family. It was and had always been my magic pill for happiness. We went out the little times we had free, with my nieces at school and Maddie and Ethan still working I had free mornings. I cleaned my sister’s place, picked up my nieces if she didn’t make it, took them to the park, we visited the Zoo.

On the weekend we went to the cemetery to take flowers to my dad, and I remembered something he always told me when I felt down. His magic word was Time, he truly believed time healed all wounds.

I just let it go, because simply there wasn’t time for me to be bitter about something that it never was, and probably never will.

By the time I was getting my things ready to leave the next morning I decided to text Don to let him know I was coming back.

Disconnection from all social media also seemed to do the trick for those few days.

I was in the middle of my message to Donald when the door opened, my sister didn’t understood privacy.

“How about you knock?” I said looking at my phone.

“The girls are sad you’re leaving” she said taking a seat next to me “they noticed you were a little sad”

“Like the first day… Now I’m fine” I assured her.

“Who are you texting?”

“Don, Mom” I said rolling my eyes at her “I’m letting him know I’m going back tomorrow, he’ll more than likely insist he’ll pick me up from the airport and we can have lunch, catch up” I locked my phone and stood up from the bed.

“And you’re going to stop being a jealous bitch?”

“Yes” I said nodding “I got my shit together” I put the last pieces of clothing in my suitcase and closed it

“And you’re going to tell him?” I frowned “about you being jealous”

“Maybe” I shrugged “he probably got it from me not talking to him, and his partner is a profiler who’s probably got me figured out already”

“And you’re going to be his best friend right?”

“Right” I said nodding again “are we done with this interrogatory? I have pictionary to play”

“It’s cheating when you are an architect” she said standing up with me

“You said that about Jenga, you don’t let me play shit” I complained while she chuckled.

I promised my nieces I would come back to visit them for their respective birthdays, and as predicted, Don told me he would pick me up at the airport.

The last night I was a little nervous, it was hard enough to confront him for being jealous, because that implied that I did have feelings for him, and I would be confessing to that too, which could change our relationship.