#I feel like I can adapt myself so well to other people to fit them into my life but they never do the same for me

[doublesidedgemini]

Part of the reason I started crying more was bc I was trying to plan a hang out with my bf but he texted me back and said he has to do this and that and this today

And then he sent another text and said I can text him when I’m ready and he’ll let me know what he’s up to and then I can decide if I want to come over

Yesterday he said something similar, “I’m welcome to come over if i want…”

At least today he texted me that he’s sorry he’s been so short on time BUT then he followed it up with “but I HAVE to do these things”

Which like I get it he’s extremely busy rn. But I texted him at the beginning of the weekend I had a lot of work to do as well if he wanted to be work buddies this weekend — didn’t acknowledge that. Then never texted me beforehand trying to set up time for us to work together, it’s always been a “I’m doing xyz and you can tag along if you want”

I told him he can just do what he needs to do today, which is what I told him yesterday. I haven’t seen him since last Saturday. This is the first week since we’ve started dating where I haven’t seen him and it feels really terribly bad :(

[starlightguh]

The Sharpest Tongue

Word count: 2,822

Summary: What if the stone Sylus won hadn't been the right one to send him and MC home to Linkon? As MC struggles to learn the local language, she finds herself the subject of the other warriors in the clan. Too bad it seems like Sylus has the sharper tongue amongst them all.

Tags: Cunnilingus, Grasslands AU, Jealous!Sylus

A/N: This is a bit shorter than I had planned, but I wanted to write something for the grasslands AU and saw someone mention we needed more jealousy grassland stories, so here you go! 100% transparency, I could not find anything on Talanian language, so I used Mongolian words, I'm not familiar with the language so if there are mistakes, I apologize!! I hope you enjoy nonetheless. Find this fic on Ao3 as well!

The Khan had given Sylus the bright red stone for his victory in the battle against the best warriors in the clan. My worries weren’t for nothing as there wasn’t any trace of meta flux emanating from it. No matter how hard either of us tried, we couldn’t resonate with it.

So we were stuck in the grasslands.

For someone who should have been happy due to our victory, both me and Sylus held somber faces around the celebratory fires and festivities. I could feel his red eyes staring at my downcast face as he reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

“We’ll just keep searching kitten…As long as we’re together we can keep looking for a way to return home.”

I inhaled deeply and nodded silently as I turned to look at him, his expression was really soft and full of apology. I wanted to go home badly. But…Sylus had a point, wallowing won’t do anything. We’ll just make a plan to find a way back to Linkon.

I steeled myself by fixing my slouched posture and closing my eyes to take deep breaths. After a few moments I opened my eyes and smiled at Sylus, “Well I guess now is the time to embrace the nomad lifestyle…Until we find our way back home that is.”

Sylus stands, my eyes lingering on his distracting buff physique as he holds out his hand.

“Let’s not weep and try to make the most of our time together, hm? Shavanika.”

His baritone voice stirs an excitement in my belly as I take his hand and he begins to twirl me to the rhythm of the festive music the villagers are playing by the campfire. I feel the beads in my hair slap my cheeks as I spin around the orange hues of the warm flames near me. For a brief while as me and Sylus danced around the flames, my anxieties had drifted away. I was grateful to have him by my side and ease my worries.

My bare feet feel unsteady as I haphazardly try to follow the rhythm of an unfamiliar tune, but the warm and strong arms of the silver-haired warrior in front of me hold me steady. I smile and laugh at Sylus’ serious expression as we dance and lose ourselves to a night full of joy.

—————————

After the festival, we packed up and moved to travel alongside the rest of the villagers. Me and Sylus agreed we would adapt to our surroundings of the people around us as we tried to find any clues about a way home.

I was not the fastest learner, but I did get a few things down, the women taught me duties I was expected to help with, from herding livestock, sewing, cooking, and laundry, I was slowly earning my place amongst the others. However, I was struggling with learning the language. I could pick up a few words here and there, but I couldn’t really understand or communicate as properly as I would like.

Then there was Sylus, he was a polyglot so picking up the language wasn’t difficult for him. He must have been fluent only after a solid two weeks of study. I was envious, but also grateful since I relied on his help a lot to learn and understand.

The warriors happily accepted Sylus, he easily fit in and would help them with hunts for resources as well as military strategies and ideas. The Khan favored him a lot and Tara told me whispers of them wanting to promote Sylus to a general title.

While we hadn’t been traveling with our clan for more than a month, we easily slipped into our roles quickly. And now it seems we quickly have found ourselves involved in more politics than we would like.

It was like any other day, I was riding my cream-colored stallion through the grassy fields trying to get the flock of sheep on the right path. I called out the different sounds and commands I was taught while keeping a stead-fast pace on horseback.

My hunter's instincts kicked in as I noticed one sheep was away from the herd, and upon further investigation, it was being hunted by a hungry coyote.

“Shit,” I hissed to myself and acted quickly as I grabbed a rope from my satchel. As the coyote pounced, I lassoed it and used my strength to pull him away from the sheep.

I was heaving and sweaty as I just lifted the clueless sheep back to the herd. As I was getting back on my horse, I heard some whistles call out to me. I glanced around and noticed a group of four warriors walking up and cooing at me.

I didn’t really recognize them, I only knew they were of the same clan since their chest guards had the same color ropes that Sylus wore. The men spoke to me in Talanian, but I could only pick out words like ‘strong’ and ‘brave.’

“I uh…am not familiar with the language yet, chlaarai .”

They seemed to just smile as one made a comment to the group in Talanian, they laughed and just waved goodbye toward me as they rode off.

I didn’t think much of this encounter until the next day.

We had set up camps deep in the Northern Grasslands, orange was taking over the skies as the dawn broke. I was hanging clothes I had just washed in the river on a clothesline outside one of the elder's yurts.

Behind me I heard the sharp tongue of Talanian, I glanced and noted those same big warriors from the other day were talking. I had paid them no mind as I did my duties.

Suddenly I heard the sharp thuds of angry footsteps behind me and a strong pair of arms wrapped themselves around my waist. I glanced up and saw a very pissed-off Sylus glaring off in the direction of the four other men.

He yelled at them in Talanian and growled when the other men responded in what I could only assume was a taunt. Sylus let go of my waist and marched up to one of the men and grabbed him by his leathers. People started to gather to watch the rowdy commotion.

I turned and saw Tarna and sighed in relief since she could explain what was going on, “Hey, Tarna….What exactly is happening?” I asked her urgently as it sounded like the men were raising their voices.

“Well…It seems the Khan’s second son Gansu said something about your er….” She paused and looked shy when translating what was said, “birthing hips, and how he wanted you as a wife to bear his children.”

I stood frozen as it all clicked into place. I looked over at Sylus who was still arguing with them, a scowl marred on his face.

“Sylus came in and said they shouldn’t speak about you that way that you were his beloved. Gansu told him that it didn’t matter to him unless you two were wedded or you were pregnant.”

“Seriously?!? If he’s the son of a Khan he can marry whoever he wants. Why would he want me?”

Tarna shook her head at me, “That’s why Sylus is arguing, he says that you are with him and will never have anyone else’s children.”

The arrogant Gansu held a smirk as he practically hissed at Sylus, a dark expression glazed over Sylus’ face. I’ve only ever caught glimpses of Sylus angry, but never this murderous.

“What did he say?” I asked Tarna, my voice full of worry. I could feel the icy chill of Sylus’ anger even from a distance.

“Gansu just said ‘well whoever takes it keeps it’ as a threat… I think you should go over and stop Sylus, if he gets in a fight with the Khan’s son they could severely punish him,” Tarna warned me.

I nodded and without a second thought, I ran up behind Sylus and gently placed my hand on his lower back. His tense body seemed to ease up a bit at my touch as I tried my hardest to speak in Talanian.

“ Amarkhan bai….S-Shavanika …” Fight not, beloved . These were the only words I could best make out with my limited knowledge.

Silently he grabbed my hand and glared down Gansu as he turned to walk away with me. I felt his grip on my hand tighten as Gansu and his men still taunted behind us. We began walking off towards our yurt and it wasn’t until we were a safe distance away I had to whimper to Sylus.

“Your grip is too tight it hurts,” I cried.

He seemed to snap out of his trance and he softened his grip and rubbed his large thumb soothingly across my hand, “Sorry sweetie… I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

“I don’t exactly know what was said, but Tarna translated some of what you guys were saying. I didn’t realize the Khan’s son and his friends saw me herding sheep yesterday.”

“The Talanian language is very harsh, most of the words are very direct. The disgusting words from the Khan’s second son really got under my skin is all… Why didn’t you tell me you ran into him yesterday?”

“I didn’t think it was important… Also, I hardly saw you yesterday,” I sigh, “You came back to our tent pretty late… Are you sure you weren’t up practicing Talanian with the other village girls?” I hiss a bit. While the Khan’s son may be chasing my skirts, I can’t ignore the fact that all the girls of the village have been trying their hardest to catch Sylus’ eye.

Sylus stopped in his tracks and growled he turned to me and looked down with a sharp gaze, “How many times do I need to express to you I’m not interested in the other village girls?”

I match his glare and put my hands on my hips, “And how many times do I have to tell you I can handle myself, the Khan’s son doesn’t scare me. I’ll just refuse him.”

Sylus tsked his lips and leaned down to lift me up on his shoulder.

“Hey! Put me down!”

“No. It seems like I need to practice Talanian with the only village girl who matters to me,” he says sharply. He gives my butt a playful smack as I’m hoisted over his shoulder, my face in the direction of his backside.

I smack his butt back and he just chuckles, “You’re not getting out of this one Shavanika, so simmer down kitten.”

When he strutted into our tiny little yurt and set me down, his red eyes shined with a mixture of excitement and mischief. His hand remained on my waist as he spoke in a low and seductive tone.

My back arched at the feeling of his hands trailing down my waist and gathering my skirts up in his large rough palms. He set his other palm in the dip on my hip as he stared at me with almost an appraising look in his eye. “Let’s start with the lesson…What did that man call these?”

His left dominant hand was under my skirt caressing my thigh, I let out a shaky breath as I closed my eyes and tried to remember the foreign words spoken earlier.

“T-Toro? Kha-?” I sputtered out as his palm found its way to one of my bare-asscheeks. He squeezed it and tsked his lips as he brought his face closer to mine and he spoke lowly.

“Torkah Khongo,” the purr in his voice did nothing but further my arousal. I was being engulfed by the dominant energy Sylus was putting out. It didn’t take very much for me to become putty in his strong hands.

His other hand reached under my skirt as well and without further notice, the lengthy skirt that usually met my ankles were now scrunched up at my waist. Underwear wasn’t a common thing within the tribe, so I had been forced to forgo that luxury and be commando under my lengthy traditional clothing. I think for a situation such as a lustful Sylus, it was beneficial to be as naked as possible.

“Do you know what the translation is?” He quirked a brow.

“B-Birthing Hips?”

“Mhmm,” there was a slight growl to his response, “he said that you had the birthing hips to bear him many sons.” Sylus gripped my hips in a tightening grip. “Too bad for him these hips are miniikh.”

Sylus dropped to his knees in a squat as his mouth bit a part of my inner thigh, his hands rubbing the bare skin before him. “Do you know the translation?”

His mouth placed hot and wet kisses in my inner thigh, teasing me by being so close to where I actually wanted his mouth. I gasped out an answer as he was torturing me with kisses, “M-Mine?”

“Good girl, seems like you do know more than I thought,” he whispers breathlessly, “Let me reward you.”

He then licked my dripping slit, I let out a whimper in surprise.

“Tell me, who do these hips belong to?” He asked as he pulled away from licking my heat.

“Y-You.”

He smacked my thigh at my answer, “Ah-Ah-Ah, in Talanian sweetie.”

“ Ta,” I moaned out as he suckled on my sensitive pearl.

With a pop of his lips, he pulled away and smirked, “Hmm that’s a good answer, but I have a better one. Repeat after me: Nökhör .”

The pronunciation of the word feels strange as I try my best to repeat it, “noct-core?”

Sylus just shakes his head and repeats it slower for me, when I finally pronounce it right he rewards me by entering one of his fingers into my dripping center.

“Keep saying it sweetie, practice makes perfect,” he chuckles and his mouth finds my center again as he slowly devours me.

With his finger slowly pumping me and his greedy tongue flickering on my sensitive folds, my voice is nothing but a loud and needy whine of this new word he’s taught me and I haven’t a clue what it means. All I know is Sylus likes it as he happily groans into my dripping cunt.

“Louder. I want the whole tribe to hear you scream it, so everyone knows we belong to each other and no one else,” his lower face is dripping in my essence and his red eyes have a bit of a manic and desperate look as I look down on him.

“Sylus….” I lose my mind as he now has three fingers in me and the mouth of a sinner as he loudly slurps at my folds with his sharp tongue.

Ecstasy and euphoria wash over me as I come on his face with that new and unfamiliar word on my tongue. My knees shake and nearly give out, but Sylus stands and lifts me up so my legs are wrapped around his middle.

I lean my head forward as I pant into his ear, “What’s the translation of that word.”

He laughs as he rubs my back while I come down from my high, “Why, it’s my future title…It means ‘husband.’”

“Sylus! How bold of you to assume!”

He frowned at this and glared at me, “I'm not assuming anything, but unless you want to be the wife of the Khan’s son, then you must be mine…I can’t protect you from the leaders otherwise.”

I blush, “I-It’s just so embarrassing….I never thought about marriage.”

He smirks a bit, “Well I'm glad I can change your mind, at least while we’re here. Linkon has a very different culture from the grasslands, and we can talk about a proper marriage when we return home. Deal?”

“Fine but you’re not knocking me up while I'm here,” I huff at him as he lays me down on our pelts and strips off the rest of his clothes.

“I make no promises, but I’ll do my best. You’re just too tempting, Shavanika.”

“Only for you my Nökhör.”

That night Sylus made me scream so loud that the Khan’s son did nothing but glare daggers as Sylus confidently walked through the village the next day I, on the other hand, was forced to stay in bed due to my wobbly knees. When I finally returned to my duties after a day's rest, the other girls just giggled as they saw me.

Tarna translated a message for me that the elders are happy for whatever blessings me and Sylus marriage may bring, but to keep it to ourselves at night. I was horrified and embarrassed, while Sylus walked around as the proud warrior both in the grasslands and in the bedroom.

The strongest warrior and the sharpest tongue will always come out on top I suppose.

~fin~

Translation guide:

Shavanika - Beloved

Chlaarai - Sorry

Amarkhan bai - Fight not

Torkah Khongo - Birthing Hips

Miniikh - Mine

Ta - You

Nökhör - Husband

[zenkindoflove]

So for the last two weeks I've been really contemplating my writing goals for the year. Reevaluating what makes me happy and what is intrinsically motivating. Gonna ramble a bit under the read more. But the jist is I'll be taking a fanfiction hiatus.

After I finished Let the Light Linger - I sort of had a bit of a crisis and needed to have a come to Jesus moment.

I started writing fanfiction again in October of 2023 because I was really pulled into Elucien and missed writing. Needless to say, the last year and a half I went hard. Harder than I ever have before. I wrote almost 500k words of fanfic and it was all really fun and exhilarating.

About 6 months ago though, I think a shift happened.

My desire to write canon compliant Elucien has been waning. I've done a lot of it, and told their story multiple times. And what I've realized is that ultimately I'm a lot more motivated to write Eris and Alexius or explore little weird AUs for Elucien instead like I did with Carrion Flowers.

And what that made me realize is that I'm not really interested so much in writing fanfic anymore. But rather - I'm more interested in writing original fiction (or Amanda universe fic lol). I think I keep setting up these new ideas and new WIPs distracting me because I've been nervous about going in that direction.

The fact that I want to live in my own world more - with my own OCs or my own heavily altered versions of minor characters like Eris - is really evidence that what I'm doing is not really writing fanfic anymore. But instead trying to fit my own original ideas into the fanfic medium because it's where I'm comfortable.

I think the biggest evidence was toggling between Let the Light Linger and Shackled. Shackled is doing really well in terms of popularity. Which I'm very grateful for. But I kept finding myself wanting to rush through writing chapters so I can write Let the Light Linger instead - which comparatively speaking is not popular at all. It's on par for how my Erixius fics tend to do but the audience for Eris x Male OC is small. And part of me was becoming a little resentful because I wanted my Eris x OC stuff to be as loved because I know it's excellent work.

And then I realized - you dummy. Of course people want to read your Elucien fic more. That is what an ACOTAR fanbase wants. It's what we are all here for. To explore the possibilities of the canon characters we already like. Which is something I had always known and rationalized and made peace with. But suddenly my emotions weren't fitting what I already knew. And I think that was the final push I needed to know that I am ready to write original work now.

It's time to follow what really is driving me instead of what I assume is expected of me. So, for now, my fanfic Shackled will be on hiatus. I might update it now and again if I'm feeling particularly motivated, but I really want to focus more of my time working on an original book. And probably what I'll do is take a lot of the hard work creating OCs that I've done in my Erixius fics and adapt them to this new world. Alexius especially deserves to live in his own space now. And my Eris is really an amalgamation of other characters that I've loved before that are like him. So needless to say, who I create for Alexius is going to be very similar 😂. Alexius needs a grumpy guy to his sunshine.

I certainly won't be leaving the fandom because I need this ding dong Elucien book. And I'll still be reading fanfic and replying to anyone who does go and read my works and leaves comments. And you might get surprise chapter updates or oneshots from me if I'm feeling any of that motivation. But regular updates won't be happening anymore.

[tyttamarzh]

Missasinfonia, songs and QSMP…

Hello!! Well, since we all continue to miss Missa, I want to share a little thought.

I don't know if it has already been talked about here, but in the Hispanic fandom of Missa we have his songs very present and some people have not been able to avoid talking about how some of them adapt perfectly to the QSMP.

I want to talk about two in particular whose lyrics I think are perfect for describing Missa's relationship with his family.

The first one is called "Privilegios" (privileges) and I think it describe what Missa is currently going through with Philza. Well, it talks about the anxiety of feeling insufficient for the other and trying to improve but feeling afraid of moving forward (the young Missa from 2014 wrote very deep lyrics). I remember that in a stream he told us about how several of his songs came about and said that he wrote "Privilegios" thinking about us, the people who follow him, because he didn't feel enough for us and is why he always try to do things better. Either way, I think he's perfect for describe his situation with Phil.

The song:

Lyrics

Sometimes I forget my sorrows and things I should do Because ideas slip away, they do not allow us to see Well creating something new means forgetting I would like to be like before and go back to the past

I know how to write the word mature very well But my thoughts don't let me act I don't want to forget, I don't ask for your mercy Because honestly I can fix it.

Chorus I don't know what to do if you're not okay (you're okay!) I don't know whether to lie to me or throw myself at your feet I wonder if I can deserve you Because I didn't earn the privilege.

How can I destroy damn anxiety? If outside my mind is my reality It is not so easy to wish others ill. just so I can free myself

The second song I want to talk about is called "Tarde para el plan B" (Late for Plan B) and I think it could be a message from Missa to Chayanne, some of the things he mentions remind me of what Missa told him in that day of fishing before travel to Japan. He talks about how it's okay to fail and that he shouldn't be overwhelmed by his mistakes, and encourages him to keep going and get better. There is also a phrase that I like to think is very much theirs, since it infers that even if they are not together, he will always see him. Now every time I hear that song I think of them and I can't help it u.u (It's a song created 10 years ago, but I think it's fits perfectly).

The song:

Lyrics

Have you ever wondered… what could happen if after the years, you could come back to the past? Would you have the chance to see what is wrong the bad memories you would be able to erase.

Enjoy moments you didn't see coming feel from the beginning what you should feel but remorse can cut you and repenting would be the final act

Look for alternatives, see how to improve May you know how to handle your situations You don't always get a second chance. you must take advantage of what time gives you

If they give you their hand, don't take our foot don't ask for the moon when it's barely dawning You don't run when you want to calm down do something your soul can bear

[PRE CHORUS] And it's not that it's bad, it could be worse. What doesn't kill you makes you better.

And listen to me, here I will be, watching your actions wherever you are.

sometimes the reasons chase me but they don't want to catch me Sometimes actions are what will count, but you won't count. I prove that what I say is true It's your problem if you don't want to change but honestly sometimes everyone can fail

In the hope that everything is fine There are ideas within your being that grow and create the bad decision than wanting to correct what has already happened

Do what you need to make you feel better. Defeat your demons, destroy that pain Errors exist to know what someone else could fall into

and it's not that it's bad, it could be worse What doesn't kill you makes you better

listen to me, I will be here watching your actions wherever you are

My favorite phrase from this song is: "don't ask for the moon when it's barely dawning" (I just like how deep it sounds xD)

And that's all for now, I've never created a post here, I hope it's okay. Thanks for reading my crazy thoughts. Greetings!!

[crownmemes]

Advice; Where to Make Rules and About Pages

If you've read my advice post about the difference between about and rules pages and why they're both important, you may not be wondering the best way to make them. The good news is, there are plenty of options!

Tumblr

The simplest choice. In the past, people would make custom pages on their theme. However, since dash view has become popular (and you can't view custom pages via it, nor can you view them on mobile), most people simply post their about/rules page as a normal text post, and link to it in their pinned post. If you have a custom theme, make sure to link the pages in the navigation bar too!

Using a plain Tumblr post increases your page's readability, but reduces the amount of formatting you can do. If you make your pages elsewhere, you will be able to customise them a lot more.

Carrd

A free website maker. You can make a small site with a free account, and the prices are pretty reasonable if you need to make a bigger site. Carrd has a minimalist aesthetic, and it will also adjust what you make to fit a mobile browser (though this may break your formatting if you have designed something complicated).

Carrd is easy to use, but it is best used for simple designs. If you want to do something more complicated than a basic Carrd layout, you're going to spend a lot of time trying to make the formatting work. If you want multiple pages for your site, you're also going to spend a lot of time formatting as you can't clone pages, therefore have to recreate each one every time instead.

It uses markdown for formatting text. If you're familiar with it, this can speed up writing, but it may slow you down if you've never used it before.

One of the benefits of Carrd is that there are lots of free templates available within the rpc! Here are resources I found with a quick Google search, but there are plenty more out there if you look for them: [x] [x] [x]

Weebly

Another free website maker. You can make more for free here than you can on Carrd. Weebly sites should adapt to work on a mobile browser.

I've never seen anybody use Weebly for about/rules pages, but I do recommend it! It's very easy to use, and, unlike Carrd, you can copy and paste entire pages. This makes it ideal if you have lots of muses that you want to make individual about pages for.

It uses a more typical text editor than Carrd. Instead of markdown, it's more like Microsoft Word - where you highlight text and click buttons to add formatting. You also have HTML/CSS options.

Weebly does offer some free templates, but you're likely to want to edit them to suit your needs more. This is okay! It isn't difficult to do!

Google Docs

A popular, completely free option. As with Carrd, there are plenty of templates and resources within the rpc (here are three examples: [x] [x] [x]). These pages will be viewable on a mobile browser, but the theme may not translate well. Keep readability in mind if you use this option.

If you use this option, also make sure the link you share is viewer only and doesn't have editor permissions!

Other Options (WordPress, Self-Hosting, etc)

Don't feel you have to follow the crowd. If you like to use WordPress, use WordPress. You could also use Neocities, or any other website builder!

Personally, I already own a web domain because I have websites for other online activities, so I use about pages that I've coded from scratch and host them myself. For my rules page, I just use a Tumblr text post that's linked in my pinned post. In the past, I've used Carrd and Tumblr pages for about pages.

If you want to write your site using HTML, some free website hosters will allow you to do this (Neocities, for example). If you're interested in coding, I do recommend this! It allows you to have full customisability, and coding can be a really useful skill. However, one downside of this is it can make your pages hard to read on a mobile browser. It's up to you to decide how important this is.

If you're interested in learning HTML (as well as CSS, JavaScript, and other coding languages), this site is a great resource!

[vampshiki]

anyways! people really wanted me to explain the exposition of my vampire story. I will continue to explain the story if people send me asks and engage with it by asking questions (because I'd love to answer them myself)

The main character of this story is actually a human named Willow. She is rather quirky and fun to be around. She's apart of a research team, but the problem is that this research team hasn't really done anything. So, one day Willow shows up with the photo of an old mansion known as the Sleepless Nights Manor. This manor is "rumored to have vampires", and even though a lot of people believe it's just a rumor, the rumor is actually true. Willow wants to prove the rumor is real, which is why she told her team that she will travel there alone, and if she dies, they will know that the myths were real.

So, Willow actually goes to this manor, not really thinking anything of it, and she hears things coming from inside the house, so she knocked on the door, waiting for something to happen. Someone actually answers: a.. human? (well actually, a vampire who is using magic to look like a human, but Willow didn't know that yet). In the manor, lived a family of vampires. Originally, there were 10, but the mother, Briar, was killed, and the two youngest vampires "ran away".

Time to introduce the vampires:

Vesper, the father and the owner of the Sleepless Nights Manor

Briar, the mother. She was killed with wood piercing her heart.

Domitille, the eldest, her appearance age is around 34. As vesper is getting old, she is left to take care of the manor. She also is planning to try and get a human job

Rochus, his appearance age is around 31. He is physically very fit and loves to work out

Nathalie, her appearance age is around 29. She absolutely loves fashion and owns her own fashion business

Orpheus, his appearance age is around 27. He loves music and plays the piano

Silas, his appearance age is around 26. He is the most modern out of all the vampires and you can easily mistake him for an ordinary man when he's in human form. He likes dancing and was able to adapt to the internet (since the vampires in this story can easily adapt to modern culture if they want to)

Emery, her appearance age is around 24. She loves reading and finished all of the books in the manor's large library.

Flann, one of the twins (the older twin), his appearance age is around 23. He owns his own annual haunted circus which he brings to human cities during spooky season

Fiona, the other twin (the younger twin, making her the youngest in the family), her appearance age is also around 23. She was rumored to have "ran away", and no one knows where she is now.

All of the vampires live in the Sleepless Nights manor because they have nowhere else to go. Though the manor is on the outskirts of a town with a low population, they are still surrounded by humans. Humans do not like vampires, especially after rumors and stories going around that they are evil beings. All the vampires want however is peace with humans. So in this story, the vampires are oppressed, and it will show a lot after the truth is revealed.

One of the major symbols in this story is The Book of Briar. However, Willow obtained a fake book, which was just her own hallucinations and answers through a special kind of magic that was in this fake book. The real book was buried alongside Briar.

Anyways, i hope you guys enjoyed a little exposition. If you guys have any questions feel free to ask me in my blog. I'd love to engage in it.

TAGGING: @tsubomisno1fan @honeynclove @skibidibabygirl @h2llish @l1m3st0n3h34rt @absolutelyrover

[three-dee-ess]

Sending some tips I've learned, so other people can learn it before making the same mistakes I have!(I figure you have better reach than me!) Pictures of 3ds as payment, one with the splasg screen and one with the home screen!

Now, onto the tips!

If you are going to buy replacement/spare styluses, make sure you look for ones For Your Model!!! I bought a 4 pack of styluses only to learn later that they were made for the old normal sized 3ds, and so wouldn't fit in my 3ds! While this isn't a HUGE inconvenience, it meant I kept losing them! (Side note: replacement styluses are very cheap to get! I now have 5 on my own, and I gave one to a friend and lost another!)

You don't have to buy the traditional grey brick chargers. Listen. We are in the modern age. You can get USB to ds adapters instead. Like the kind you use for your phone. They feel MUCH more durable than the old ones. I've gone through 4 of the old ones and I'm a bit tired of it. Plus these take up less space on the extension cord!

I highly recommend learning how to virtually access your 3ds SD card using FTPD! This makes it a lot easier to get non-3ds roms onto your system, especially with systems where you have to use a screwdriver to get to the card. It also makes it easier to make backups! You CAN access it remotely with official methods if it's a new 3ds, but honestly ftp transfer is a lot faster to me.

Join the 3ds hacking discord! I highly recommend searching any questions you have there as well as the Internet! Things are often changing, and unless it's a very popular site like the 3ds hacks guide, it's probably not going to stay up to date for long! Best to double check, and it can save you some hassle!

When in doubt, ask! Hacking communities tend to be very friendly and open to help, as evidenced by the blog I'm sending this too!

red o3DS

honestly I don't need the payment pictures but I'll happily take bribes in the form of them. >:3c

#1 if you have access to a 3D printer, all of the styluses have readily available free 3D models online so just get some printed!

#2 I've used those in the past! mine is currently missing but yeah it's huge. Super nice to have an extra long cable and everythin.

#3 thank u!! i didnt know that. I'll have to try it out.

#4 h u h. is there a perm url I can link to? (I dont like joining public servers myself but i'm willing to link to it!)

#5 yes yes yes yes!

[anulithots]

Ooh...So excited when I know that you are now a fan of Link Click, too.... Can I ask something from Link Click? What do you think are Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang’s greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic? Sorry if you've answered these questions before.....

P.s

Also, can I ask your top fav characters and fav moments from the series (Link Click), if you don't mind me asking (again)....? Thanks so much....

KLDKJfdskj THANK YOU FOR THE ASK! I had answered it, wanted to save it for further thoughts... then tumblr wiped the post.

THENNN THIS SAT IN MY DRAFTS FOR WAY TOO LONG

I cry. Sorry this took so long!

BUT I Did handwrite some stuff down, so here we go!

(Just a note that while I proabably will analyze link click - how could I not - I won't try to do as much analysis as I did with Jujutsu Kaisen... because... well I did too much. Maybe burnt myself out? I hyper analyzed that to the point where it became another school subject... and LInk Click actually SHOWS backstory, so I don't' have to connect as many dots. )

CHeng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang's strengths and weaknesses.

Cheng Xiaoshi: he's empathetic, but so much so that it turns into impulsive decisions. Other than that, when he does have space and time to process his emotions, he's INCREDIBLY good at strategizing based on the factors of the environment + the emotions of those involved (Lu Guang will follow rules without being as adaptive)

Overall, I'd describe the Cheng Xiaoshi emotion pipeline to be this:

gets overwhelmed with strong emotions, especially when possessing someone or in a high stakes situation. In this state, he'll do reckless, impulsive decisions, oftentimes for the good of others... but he usually regrets it later

CXS has more time to sit with and process his emotions. He usually withdraws from the world at this time. (Post episode five, or after diving into the photo on his own, when he thought Lu Guang was dead)

He does his whole 'I have a plan thing' and it's ridiculously smart. He just needs time (and lots of it) to process his emotions.

Cheng Xiaoshi is also almost.. too trusting. He trusts others, empathizes with them, so easily feels and assimilates himself with others that he'll... probably get taken advantage of. (See season two)

He also clings to the people he has. This is neither a strength nor a weakness... it's both, it's a trait, and it will become either beneficial or a detriment depending on the situation, as is the case with a lot of character traits. The plot tests the flaws and benefits of a character. (Sorry small tangent)

CXS tries to prevent the same pain of loss from befalling anyone else/ people he possesses. He fears being alone (probably also feeds into his 'too trusting' + relies on Lu Guang thing. Neither are inherently flaws) and perhaps part of the reason he is so impulsive is because his parents left him so suddenly. He gets so stressed because he has to help them/save them, and he must do so immediately, before they leave him forever.

(See I'm analyzing but I'm having trouble with fitting CXS into the overall themes... hmmm.. I'll figure it out.)

EDIT: I HAVE THOUGHTS, I THINK I FIGURED IT OUT... MAYBE I SHALL LET THE THOUGHTS MARINATE MORE!!

Lu Guang:

I'm not sure if he restrains his emotions, has subdued ones, or if whenever he's around CXS he can act more 'low energy' because CXS is... a lot. /aff

(See Lu Guang sitting on the couch differences from when CXS is there versus when CXS is in a dive

Versus when he's alone:

*feet on the table*

*bouncing his foot*)

He acts like he's the level headed one, but he's far from it. Even in season one, especially in episode five (when he took a risk and it ended up backfiring on CXS) he can and will freak out the moment something doesn't go according to plan. And who often doesn't go according to plan?

Cheng Xiaoshi.

Lu Guang does his very best to... prevent against this. He means well. Pretty much every moment he's on screen is him trying to protect CXS.

He does keep secrets, but overall, I think he isss pretty open about what he thinks and feels (except for when it comes to CXS to his face... he'll gladly talk about it to Qiao Ling). In... I think it was episode six, he openly told Cheng Xiaoshi his reasoning for going back in time to deliver the messages in episode four... to alleviate the client (and prove to himself that it is possible) of regret.

As far as the 'strengths and weaknesses' go, for all the issues and benefits that happen because of him, it's really caused by his personality, his traits, that will be either useful or detrimental depending on the situation. LInk Click is wonderous at using the plot to fully explore the nuances of the characters, so none of their traits are 'black and white'. Very 'trolley problem esque' and up to the viewer to decide. *buzzes and explodes* /pos

In essence: Both CXS and Lu Guang are emotional idiots in their own ways (CXS's just louder about it /pos /aff) and QIao LIng is actually the only levelheaded one here.

... I need some more time and rewatches before I can fully analyze them well so that's that for now!

What I love about their dynamic

They both trust each other, and will break all of time and space (or not break all of time and space) for the sake of the other.

MOST OF ALL HOW'LL THEY'LL BREAK THEIR USUAL CHARACTER IF IT MEANS PROTECTING THE OTHER.

Like Lu Guang, for all the times he says that CXS cannot change the past, that he shouldn't interfere, caves if it means giving Cheng Xiaoshi solace. (Episode five when tried to help Cheng Xiaoshi save his mom, and in season two when he let Cheng Xiaoshi dive to allow police assistant guy - I forget his name - to give a flower ring to his wife)

For Cheng Xiaoshi, he'll resist his impulses and emotions, even if it causes him immense pain, to comply with what Lu Guang would've wanted. Epppiisooddee fivvee is a good example of this. (And of course... I think it was episode two of season two where Cheng Xiaoshi decided not to go back in time for the sake of Lu Guang's wishes). Cheng Xiaoshi 'gave up' on trying to save everyone in the town because of Lu Guang's urging, and even throughout all the dives he does, as early as episode one, he trusts Lu Guang.

Also, in a less dramatic sense, ... alll the little things they constantly do for eachhh other aklsjfkaslfklasjd fSCREAMSSS

Lu Guang checking on Cheng Xiaoshi during his nightmares, comforting CHeng Xiaoshi after the trauma that was episode five, the both of them constantly teasing each other, how comfortable they are in each other's presence. IT'S SO QUEER PLATONIC CODED I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

Fav characters and moments.

(in the prev version of this ask I started listing out EVERY SINGE scene in season one and started going to season two... I love them all. I love them all so much I'm going to rewatch it again.)

But as of now I'll list them out and include some of my screenshot collection (it is growing heheheh)

In episode one where Lu Guang slurps his noodles to tease CXS after he couldn't eat his spring rolls

The moment in episode two where Lu Guang proclaims that the mission is hopeless and CHeng Xiaoshi says 'Just because you don't see hope doesn't mean there is none'

AND LU GUANG SMILESSSSS:

Also Lu Guang smiling when CHeng Xiaoshi says how he wishes Lu Guang could've tasted the noodles too. There's Lu Guang smiling at things Cheng Xiaoshi says, what more does one need in the world?

ANY MOMENT QIAO LING IS ON SCREEN IS IMMEDIATELY PEAK FICTION AND I SHALL PERISH ON THIS HILL

Like in season two where Cheng Xiaoshi is restrained and QIao LIng slaps the lawyer guy in the face (I'm slow with names and need to rewatch season two)

Honestly episode five is a masterclass in good writing. The moment where Cheng Xiaoshi's mom is singing to him, then it cuts to Cheng Xiao's mother dying is just... *sobs*

WHEN QIAO LING CANNONICALLY CALLS CXS HER BROTHER AND IT FLASHBACKS TO HER AND YOUNGER CXS AND lakjfalksfjasklfjaslkfjaslkdfj

Cheng Xiaoshi's backstory in general... it was either in episode ten or eleven... or nine??? I still have to rewatch up to there. Epsically because CXS's backstory was explored in really nuanced and explorative ways before the whole thing was revealed, which makes any rewatches 1000x sadder. It's such good writing holy herbs.

In episode... seven I think it was.... when CXS as Doudou punched the human trafficker and Lu Guang had a surprised pikachu face... peak fiction. How this donghua manages to make me smile and laugh then ugly cry and stare at a wall for the next few hours is beyond me /pos /sooo impreeessive the wriittttnggg.

Lesbian Noodle ladies were amazing. 100/10. Bring them back the trio needs happiness

Lu Guang wanting to go the funeral in season two with an IV and half formal clothes, half hospital gown. He's smart but in the 'I've memorized an entire Library but can't navigate a practical/social thing to save my life' sort of way. Love him for that.

Wang Juan. She has an Ivan (alien stage) haircut and she was great and yes I have another aesthetic crush shhhh

When the trio dressed up as the cartoon characters to reunite Doudou with his dad.

Cheng Xiaoshi arguing and bickering with Xu Shanshan. Then when he dives as her, he immediately makes her look bad and it's hilarious

In the 5.5 extra where Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang play video games against Qiao Ling and both of them lose.

Qiao Ling and CXS both beating up a bunch of people. Peak siblings

CXS and Lu Guang beating up Qian Jin (I looked up the wiki and it has character namess yessssss). Peak queer platonic partners.

Moments like these? IDK I just like the idea of them spending time together without necessarily needing to talk to each other, comfortable in the silence.

SCREENSHOT COLLECTION:

.... I reached my image limit *cries*

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!

(and sorry it took me so long to answer it)

... now I want dumplings

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

Not so much a question as me using this as an outlet to process my thoughts.

So for years I thought I was bi. At first bisexual, then biromantic asexual when I learned about asexuality, then I added demiromantic. Well when I figured out I am demiro ace I started figuring out that a lot of the crushes I had were aesthetic attraction/me trying to convince myself I had crushes because everyone else was having them why not me sorta vibes. Well, after analysis, I think most of the girls I had crushes on fell into one of those categories. There's one girl which I don't really remember what I felt. But I think it was a platonic crush because we were super close in middle school then fell apart due to things out of our control in high school then got super close again when we were juniors and seniors so I think it might have just been me in a confused state happy to have a friend back. There's also a non-binary friend I had I thought I had a crush on but looking back I think it was a platonic crush as well. So that means the only people I've ever had crushes on have been men.

So I'm over here thinking I'm not actually biromantic but rather heteroromantic. Which like yeah it makes sense. But it feels weird? Idk I've been calling myself bi in some shape or form for like 7 years now. It's just weird to not say I'm bi. Even weirder to say I'm hetero. Like I used to call myself gay all the time in jokes and all too. But right now I can't see myself being in a relationship with anyone other than a man. Like I know that I'm demiromantic heteroromantic asexual. I know. But it still feels weird to say it not because it's wrong but because it feels like I'm leaving behind something that was important for me for a significant portion of my life.

Idk if I'm making any sense. I just kinda needed to say it all to process it. If anyone has advice on how to accept I'm not bi/how to adapt I'd gladly take it.

Also thanks so much for this blog!

Remember that changing labels can be a process. This is part of your identity and it can take time before another label feels right, even if you do feel like that label describes you better.

Also just because you've decided an old label isn't right for you anymore doesn't mean the time you used that label can't still be important to you, or an important part of your experiences.

So generally my advice would be take your time and let yourself process. And eventually the labels you feel fit you better should start to feel more right

Of course if any followers have their own advice, feel free to share!

All the best, Anon!

[emeraldthelynx]

Crossovers

So, I just feel like talking for a bit about my approach for crossovers. Crossovers are one of my favourite things to write, from two entries in the same franchise to two franchises that were never meant to cross, they're special to me. Allow me to present to you, Lynx's Unofficial Guide to Writing Crossovers! Buckle up, this is going to be a long read.

The first thing is to decide what kind of crossover it's going to be. I don't have names for all of these, so I'll explain the premises. The first option does have a name, Shared Universe. This works like a Pokemon AU. Elements from one world, Pokemon, exist in another world, say Sonic, but not too much changes in terms of world or story. We would simply see let's say, what Sonic would do with a Pokemon partner as he runs around bashing robots. These crossovers don't require a lot of lore to explain why the world is the way it is, although it can be interesting if they do. (Check out Bilsu Art on YouTube and his 'Linked Dimension' project. It's a good example of a lore-heavy Shared Universe.)

The second type of crossover is the kind you would typically see in a comic book or a TV show, like a 'Iron Man meets Spider-Man' or 'Sonic and Mega Man Worlds Collide.' This is also the crossover you usually see new fanfiction writers make. These kinds of crossovers have to be done 'just so.' You need a reason for the two to meet. If they already exist in the same universe, it's not a problem, but when they exist in different universes, you need a reason for those universes to meet. Usually it's in the form of the villain discovering the other world and meeting a villain there to team up with. (Sonic and Mega Man Worlds Collide, Marvel vs Capcom Infinite.) These crossovers are often prey to what I like to call 'character overload.' It means that there are so many characters that they either don't get enough time to shine, or they get lost in a sea of other characters. Let's just call this kind 'Comic Book crossovers.'

The third kind is when two characters just so happen to be in the same world. They were not really meant to cross, but it's not unusual for them to cross. (Grumpy Cat/Garfield.) These ones are more simple, since the characters can just run into each other without some sort of overarching threat. It does run into the issue of character overload as well.

The fourth type could be considered an RPG crossover, where characters from one series stand in for characters of another series or story. (The Sonic Storybook games.) These kinds of crossovers can either be amazing or terrible. Usually when they're terrible, it's when the canon dialogue, actions and motivations are pasted onto the inserted characters. They can be amazing when the roles are upheld alongside the new character's personality. There is a special challenge in writing these crossovers because you need to uphold the fine line of 'adaptation' and 'AU.' Personally, I would be more invested in the story if it turned into an AU. The premise behind these kinds of stories boils down to 'what would character A do if they were in character's B's role in B's world?'

Let's call the fifth and final kind (that I can think of) 'Borrowed Element Crossovers.' Theses are much closer to AUs than they are to crossovers. I did it myself with my story Pokemon Powered Up where I took elements from Mega Man Powered Up but it is still in the Pokemon World with Pokemon people and Pokemon personalities. This list is far from complete, and I often borrow bits and pieces from the different types to make crossovers.

All crossovers stem from the idea of different people meeting each other. There has to be a reason the two worlds fit together so nicely. (i.e., Digimon and Megaman Battle Network both have a Digital World or Sonic and Kaito KID both are free spirits with their own rules.) Sometimes they don't even need much in common. I once read a spectacular My Little Pony:FiM/classic Mega Man crossover and I can honestly find no obvious real element between the two series. I've also noticed that some series can cross over more easily than others. (I'm looking at you Harry Potter crossovers and I don't know the reason why because I've never read the books.)

The next step in crossover making is figuring out which world is the dominant world. Is it Sonic in Pokemon or Pokemon in Sonic. The difference would be if it was Sonic in Pokemon Sonic would be a Pokemon trainer and do trainer stuff but if it was Pokemon in Sonic then the biggest difference would be that Pokemon share the world with the characters and the characters themselves might even be anthropomorphic Pokemon. Sometimes the worlds can be pretty balanced in elements, but other times one world takes over all the elements.

The next question is figuring out who is meeting and how. Are they going to bump into each other at a gaming convention? (Secret Reverse.) Is a mysterious entity going to invite them to another world? (Smash Bros series) Will the villain(s) try to merge the worlds together? (Marvel vs Capcom Ultimate.) Some series will have a thing that makes it easier for crossovers to happen. Fullmetal Alchemist has the Gate from the 03 anime that canonically can send people between the real world and the FMA world. Sonic's world has the Chaos Emeralds, Pokemon has Dialga and Palkia, and Yu-gi-oh! has plenty of nonsense across all its entries. (My personal favourite crossover hotspot is Majora's Mask. It's incredibly easy to make crossovers with this concept, no matter the characters or world.) Other worlds might be harder to cross over. Detective Conan and Wild Kratts are both fairly firmly set in the the real world, and even in worlds like Star Trek where they seem to encounter a wormhole or multiverse every other season, they have particular rules of interaction that would make things harder.

The last rule is to have fun! Laugh as you think about what character A will do in this world. Groan as you realize what cultural norm character B will get wrong. Grin as you determine who will win and who will loose. That's the whole point of the crossover, isn't it? Find out 'what could happen' and make it happen!

[poomphuripan]

how do you feel about the changes from the original source in episode 2? personally i love how much more screentime women get compared to the novel—the brother-sister dynamic they added was such a nice touch and showing more of Ming’s family life early on really humanizes him. i also like that sol’s motivation for rejecting joe is different. it kind of got into gay-for-you terrority sometimes 😭 sorry for the ramble!

okay nonnie so my current verdict is I'M IN LOVE but i'm also wary.

before this series was even out, i had MULTIPLE conversations with different people on managing expectations for a better experience watching my stand-in because any novel reader would know it's NOT an easy novel to adapt considering its source material. you need a fine balance on how to make the scum ml as terrible as the story needs him to be for the emotional payoff to be as satisfying as it did in the novel, while not to make him so terrible that he's irredeemable in the audience's eye (which i'm sure not all novel readers felt yan ming xiu had redeemed himself yet at the end).

watching the first and only trailer, my fears heightened because it definitely has a lot of sweet ming and joe scenes than i expected it to -> the impression i had then was that 'oh no they're going to softening up yan ming xiu and make him less callous towards zhou xiang' -> i told myself alright it's an adaptation, i will be happy if they just get the major PLOT points (as you can see my expectations bar were on the floor because i didn't wanna get my hopes up, that's how much i liked professional body double)

but so far, i think i've been loving the changes in this adaptation because it feels liket the same story but slightly different characterization and pacing.

so first let's talk about yan ming xiu aka ming. as i mentioned my fear of him being softened, i think that fear has gradually dissipated while we ease into ep 2 because i think the series does a GOOD job of recharacterizing yan ming xiu to fit with up poompat.

so a bit of !!!!!novel spoilers warning but not really because im being very vague about it!!!!! but i always felt like yan ming xiu wasn't really well depicted in the novel since the novel is written from zhou xiang's perspective, yan ming xiu is so often to be looked through this rose colored lens of his to the point where i felt like ymx was a rather one dimensional pretty, arrogant, spoiled brat. reading the novel back then, i felt what a lot of average audience is currently asking from the series: SO WHAT DOES ZHOU XIANG SEE IN YAN MING XIU, is his dick that worth it?

but like you mentioned, the series does well in humanizing ming and i would argue that the series has answered the question above better than the novel as joe makes it explicitly clear why he likes ming so bad (bonus is getting ming to hear this as well). with series!ming, we get to see aspects of his family life, the people around him and his general background whereas it took the novel 2/3 of the way for them to start introducing ymx's family to us but not for a very good reason but rather for a cliche subplot which i dislike (that i need the thai adaptation to do something better with this one).

so rather than fearing the 'softening' up of ymx, i feel like this humanization treatment the series is giving ming is a better way of adapting novel!ymx because my stand-in doesn't shy away and unapologetically makes ming a terrible red flag...

... yet simultaneously gives the audience some clues as to why ming is a red flag the way he is and it's not a seemingly inherent callous nature like other 188 novel scum mls. don't get me wrong, he's still a scum ml nonetheless but if you look at ymx's inherent level of maliciousness, it's nowhere near other scum mls written by the same author. and i think what my stand-in does well. because it is making the point 'ming is a terribly mean person but it's the result of his jealousy, his inability to listen to his own feelings and stubbornness, rather than an intentional aim to emotionally deceive joe' across much better than the novel did with just two eps.

so far in terms of changes, i also like how the comedic elements are in here but they're not dominating the tone of this series and balances well out with the drama/angst going on. i guess this can also be credited to the actors/production team because they've always promoted my stand-in as a '120% sweet, 200% bitter romance DRAMA' series so i did not go in with the expectations of so much light hearted moments

it's not to say that there weren't comedic elements in the novel, as the infamous 'and they were both top' scene is an exact adaptation of their first meeting in the novel.

but being an adaptation, not to mention being a thai one nonetheless, my stand-in does well incorporating its way of doing humor into the original work seemlessly. joe's mood swings (affected by ming) were presented PERFECTLY through his three training session with his juniors. i feel like this is the kind of humor that could only be achieved through series/tv format as opposed to novel zhou xiang whose mood swings affected his acting work.

on my beloved sol aka novel lan xi rong, i actually really like that they made him a former stunt actor as well and us getting to see porsche tanathorn doing all this action sequence (yes go yyds, rig your actor some of that screentime). but i thought it was very similar though, the reason for rejecting joe and his realization that joe was the only kind hearted genuine guy he's ever met once he's actually 'been in the industry'. i sure hope they don't characterize sol like how they did novel!lan xi rong 'i'm only gay for you'. give this man his own LOVE INTEREST (i'm actually betting my whole wallet on a brand new yim/sol loveline. i see it happening. it would not be a thai bl without at least one other side bl couple).

all that being said, my only worry is that i feel like they've already adapted so much of the novel within 2 eps and thai bl adaptations have a tendency to diverge greatly from the original source material. so i have worries for the possible new subplots they might add into this series.

tldr: i love my stand-in so much right now as a novel reader but i hate how i can't figure out what they're going to add in future eps ಥ_ಥ

[zellk]

My question is about Qalaa! She’s got an amazing design in every iteration so I wanted to ask what were your main inspirations for her? Also could you tell us a bit more about her story?

Hi there ! Thank you so much for your kind words about my babygirl ;A; !!! Everything started circa 2014 when I started to play Wakfu again with @shuuzaar and decided to make a red-skinned osamodas. She also now exists in multiple universes (a minotaur or tiefling in DnD, a demon/oni, a dragon, etc etc).

It wasn't a very conscious & willed thing but since I put a lot of 'myself' into her (more than all my other OCs, who have more... handpicked bits) so her build started to grow towards the larger / bigger side naturally. I'm definitely not as big, nor tall as her though (I am short and she's like, 209cm tall or sth).

Her general themes / traits are : A kind, soft & gentle soul in a body that is 'made' for killing / hurting easily because of it's size and strength. Feeling inadequate / dysphoria / struggling to accept her body because it doesn't fit what she likes (petite and feminine girls). Struggle to control flares of emotions & physical strength. And being very, oh so very gay about girls and feminine people (this is a very important part ok).

In time I've been slowly collecting pictures of athletes and people that make me think of her and trying to refine how she looks in my head ! Though, like many of my characters, the specifics tends to change depending on how I feel on the moment... sometimes I want her nose a bit more like this or like that... don't be surprised if her gallery isn't the most consistent in terms of facial features :,^)

One thing that definitely DID inspire me for her though are the marks on her body ! They are inspired from scarifications of the Chambri tribe in Papua New Guinea https://bodyartforms.com/blog/sepik-river-scarification.asp)

As for her story, well, my current DnD group where I play her has given me a lot of opportunities to flesh it out a little more >:^D I'll try to keep it short.

Qalaari was born from an unplanned pregnancy. Her mother, Aamira Molandine, was someone with a very weak health due to a blood curse running in her family (more on that later) ; but despite her health she decided to keep the child and see the pregnancy through. Her father, Temhos Croquelune, is a member of a tribe of "beast folk" (this is tweaked and adapted to fit in various universes when I can) and, while enamoured with Aamira, was really not ready to have a child, and to potentially have to raise it alone should Aamira die while giving birth. After yet another argument with her about getting an abortion for her sake and the sake of them both, Temhos ran away during the night and never came back.

~6 month pregnant Aamira found refuge in the Croquelune tribe under Temhos' sister roof, Olgha (who also had a crush on Aamira & both her and her brother tried to court her). The travel took a heavy toll on Aamira's already weak health and yet she somehow miraculously survived the delivery of her (very) big and healthy baby girl Qalaari. Qalaari was raised in a very loving home by Aamira and Olgha, but developped a big resentment towards her blood father, especially since after giving birth, Aamira remained a very sickly person with a broken heart. Aamira died when Qalaari was 13, which kind of forever scared her and worsened her struggles to control her emotions.

Remember the Cursed Blood thing ? Well basically, it's a curse that either 1) eats you alive if your body is too weak to handle it (Aamira's case, which is why she had a weak health from the beginning) OR 2) enhances the physical potential of your body, but tends to make you lose control and become little more than a beast (Qalaari's case). So yeah... she's trying to get better but she has a lot of healing to do with her inner child and that's not easy... especially with the layers of self hatred the cycles of her life are bringing in :^) !

EDIT : I FORGOT TO ADD that Qalaari is currently exiled from the Croquelune tribe. The circle scar on her clavicle is the mark of the exiled, who are sent away from the tribe for 3 years before they can come back. The practice exists to try and get people to grow 'outside of the community' before coming back in it as a slightly different person. The once-exiled people are reintegrated in the tribe when they return if possible. Olgha, Qalaari's aunt-in-law and adoptive parent, has a mark like this! This exile is definitely not the best solution ever but it's been done for so long in the tribe that it's hard to yknow... challenge the system of it.

Anyway if you've read to this point, thank you for listening to me fail miserably to keep this short... Qalaari is one of my dearest OC, so it's really hard not to gush about her in a 3 hours TED Talk everytime...

Thank you for this kind ask ! Hope you'll have a good day :> !

[queer-crusader]

One of the more difficult things for me in realising I may in fact be autistic, is the facing of old insecurities. I mean, I've been a weird kid who's socially awkward all my life. The signs have always been there. I've been lucky with a caring family that has accommodated for a lot of the struggles I might have faced, which means I didn't really face them head-on and was never really held back that much by them - and thus not very actively aware of them. Yes, my social development was a little different, a little slower. But in the end, I really grew into my own in my college years. I learned how to interact with people more easily, I came out of my shell. Then, after uni, I got a call centre job, and structural communication became so integral to that work that I became almost an expert on how to communicate easily and clearly (maybe more than almost - I'm a coach, now training others in communication, and I'm good at it!). Reading people was something I'd developed in acting class and through my writing skill that I'd worked on over the years, and now I can bring it to much more effective fruition with the training from work. After all those awkward teen years, I finally have a good grade in Communication, something easy to want and possible to achieve!

And then the realisation slips in that I do get socially overwhelmed and need my "crotchety old man in his rocking chair shouting 'get off my lawn'" time to chill by myself. That I crave structure, despite my love of chaos. That I do still say stuff that can be considered weird or awkward, and that I am sometimes unaware of this in the moment, despite my developed ability to read a room and adapt to it. And that the way I was all those years, both as a little kid and a teen, was FULL of signs of autism that I just missed.

And like, all of that is fine. No-one can be perfect at human interaction. But when you're at a point that you feel comfortable in your social skills in a way that makes you feel normal and confident, it almost feels like it's always been that way. You remember being awkward as a teen, but it also feels like you're at a normal point now, and the skills you've developed have come naturally over time. Thus, you must be Normal™ and Good At Social™.

Except... Well. I'm pretty sure I am some flavour of autistic. The skills I've developed have come later than they might for others, and have been hard-fought to gain. I'm okay with not being normal, I'm also fairly sure I have a flavour of ADHD. I get passionate about things others might not, in ways others might not. I get energy from specific things and struggle with menial tasks others do with minimal effort or grumbling. That's cool. I have coping mechanisms that develop all the time. I like being me. Love it, even.

But I was PROUD to be Socially Competent, you know? And I still am socially competent. But now I see the layer beneath the end ("end") result with more clarity. The insecurity about not being socially competent. The rocky foundations. The extensive work to build me up to where I am.

I hated being socially awkward as a kid. I was an outcast, and the people I DID manage to hang out with were even bigger outcasts. I wasn't bullied per se, but I just. Never fit in. Never felt socially fully happy or fulfilled. Not until after secondary school. And that insecurity is still there. The reminder of that awkward time is there in the foundations of the work done to be where I am today.

And now, with my realisation, I'm looking under the hood to find the absolute mess of cables that keep my engine running. It's a less pretty sight than I want it to be. But I've always been a perfectionist who sets unattainable goals for themselves. I cannot fix the mess that makes up the foundation of me, I can only learn to accept it and keep developing and strengthening myself. That is a lifelong project. But I'll get there.

Eventually.

Hopefully.

[mrhaitch]

Hello Mr. Haitch, how are you ? I reckon that since you're an author married to an another wonderful author, you may be familiar with the self-doubt and overall bleh feeling that comes with writing and not really finding pleasure or purpose in it anymore. My question is : how do you deal with that ? I don't see myself as a writer but I still try to nurture this hobby, it's just been hard when everything I write ends up feeling flat at best, unreadable at worst. I don't really have writer pals or readers who give me feedback and I was a bit sad to realise that even when sharing my writing on online spaces where there are no stakes, it still feels like a race to notes and interactions. How can I keep pushing past this ? How do I improve when no one gives me feedback ?

I'm doing well, thank you anon.

Yes this is all familiar to me, and it's something I'm presently overcoming myself (I think it's been over two years since I managed to complete something).

I think there's a few different things here to address so I'll take them each in turn.

Motivation - Loss of motivation is inevitable. All love affairs have peaks and troughs, creative ones doubly so. Accepting that what you're feeling now will pass in time can help, but it's not a cure. When I feel like a failure I try to remember something Neil Gaiman talked about a few years back: writing is a lot like trying to get to the top of a mountain, with every word being a single step closer or another foot surmounted. If you find there's a time you can't write, you're not going backwards, you're just standing in place. Sometimes you have to in order to catch your breath. Forgive yourself for taking a breather - and try to figure out why you need it.

Writing in isolation - This has been my own experience, to tell the truth. I hold a Masters degree in Creative Writing and sat through many hours of workshops, but even then it still felt like I was writing alone - that somehow the conversations that took place in those groups were competitive and unconstructive; everyone eyeing each other, asking 'do you like me? do you like my work? is this okay?'. Writing can be lonely, especially with that first draft where you're writing with the door closed, just figuring out the story one line at a time. You can experience several lifetimes in the space of an hour and occasionally emerge from your writing place, puffy faced and wild-eyed, feeling like you have to tell someone what you just witnessed, but find people give you a quizzical look and fail to understand. Working with others, sharing with others, especially people who do understand can be a wonderful balm for such extended (and sometimes necessary) solitude - but it can have it's own problems. Sometimes you internalise the expectations and tastes of others in such a way that proves more of a hindrance then a help. Which brings me to-

Writing for a social media profile - I've done this myself some times and fell into the same trap you describe: second guessing my work for the sake of a theoretical audience, interpreting a lack of engagement as a sign of my own failures or short-comings as a writer. Even when I published for the first time, and then again for a second, I have only met one person who read my work and it was only because they were published in the same anthology. The relationship between artist and audience is difficult, fraught might be a better word, and one that deserves its own post. Sometimes the audience feels they're owed something by the artist, sometimes the artist senses that expectation and subjects their work to censure to adapt it to what they think the audience wants from them. In the end you've got a work that satisfies no one. Social media can help you find an audience - but it's also a medium built around habit, dependency, and engagement. It's not a true reflection of your worth, but rather how closely what you produce as an artist best fits that platforms algorithms and business models. And, here I'm flirting with arrogance a bit, you should never really concern yourself with what everyone might think.

As for advice, here's the best I've got: find whatever it is that brings you to the page and keeps you there. If trying to satisfy the expectations of others isn't helping, then focus on what you want. How would you tell this story, if you were the only person to ever read it? How would you excite yourself, challenge yourself, enlighten yourself?

Beyond that I'd suggest reading a lot and reading widely. Feed the creative compost heap that dwells in the darker, mustier corners of your mind, and see what weird and wonderful things take root.

And if you want something to prime the engine, watch this short interview with Ray Bradbury towards the end of his life. It always cheers me up:

[lgbtqdefinitions]

Welcome to LGBTQ Definitions!

Queer stuff is a passion of mine. For about half of my life, I've found myself being someone my allocishet friends have come to for clarification on different LGBTQ terms or flags, to learn about identities they want to understand more, or even just to help them source queer perspectives on different social justice issues or whatever diversity discussion comes up. I've also helped LGBTQ questioning friends find labels they didn't even know about previously but that fit them perfectly, and shared resources with them for all sorts of topics related to queerness.

It's one of the things that brings me the most joy and feels the most meaningful and impactful.

Eventually, I began feeling like it could be useful to have one spot to collate resources to be able to quickly share for anyone who wanted to learn more, and this months-long hyperfixation was born.

The intention of this site is to be able to find basic explanations of many terms under various LGBTQ+ umbrellas, under several headings for easier categorisation:

Sexual and Romantic Orientation

Gender

Culture-Specific Identities

Miscellaneous (common terms within LGBTQ+ subcultures or related to transitioning)

Issues and Intersectionality (some of the problems faced within the LGBTQ+ community, as well as the interconnectedness of queerness and other social identities)

Finally, I have a page about the history of the LGBTQ Pride flag, and last but not least, a page of many links to general resources for and about the LGBTQ community.

It's important to note that many of the definitions for identities do not cover the complexity and nuances of those identities.

Queerness is ever-evolving and adapting. The definitions here were meant to be somewhat simplified so as to be less overwhelming for people who are new to all of these concepts. I've included many links to sources with much more in-depth information; this site is just meant to be a starting point for you to begin to branch out yourself - an anchor from which to propel yourself into the (previously) unknown and start your own questioning journey, or learn how to become a more understanding ally, all while absorbing facts about queer history or symbols or what the various Pride flags look like and mean.

I hope this can be a useful resource for people coming in good faith to learn more about the LGBTQ community and/or themselves. I spent more than six months pouring blood, sweat, and tears into this project - and it will still be ongoing - but all I hope for is that this will help someone. If at least one person comes away from this feeling like they've learned something new about themselves or the people around them, then I'll be happy.

If you'd like to reach out to me about anything here, or support me in any way as an autistic queer enby, you can find information on my Carrd!

I'm excited to hear from you! Please feel free to share the link (and this post if you see it) in the hopes it can help someone!

P.S.: This site is best viewed on a computer! The home page formatting will unfortunately not show up on mobile as it defaults to a generic mobile site - though the rest of the pages will be fully formatted on mobile (but still best viewed on PC).

[ceramicbeetle]

the thing is, you’re absolutely right! because what neurotypical people sometimes don’t understand is the massive difference between the average level of social interaction that they themselves vs other people get outside of organized or scheduled events like work or school, and also don’t understand the massive difference between what failure looks like, and how those two things overlap. i’m told that among the average neurotypical person, they’ll make a point to talk to people in their lives or hang out with friends or go on dates or chat with other people in public spaces, al to have casual interactions, multiple times a day, multiple days a week. meaning, if they have a failed social interaction, it’s buffered by the many successful interactions they’ll go on to have. failure most likely won’t mean complete isolation, because they have multiple avenues of interaction to fall back on. and, moreover, a failure in a social interaction when you have (on average) fewer than most means that now rather than that person going “oh that was a weird interaction, i talk to them a lot and it’s not usually like that, maybe it was an off day” they go “huh i don’t know that person very well maybe they’re just like that?”, which means that the odds are way different on whether relationships stay good after mistakes.

social skills are not actually as inherent as neurotypical people like to think. it’s just that when you’re always in practice, always getting back on the proverbial horse, the advice “just get back out there!” does actually work very well. but if you’re not able to do that for any variety of reasons, you can’t play the game the same way. my advice is not “try harder”, it’s “lower your expectations for yourself on what a good interaction and a moment of connection might be”. just as it’s possible you’re somehow unintentionally upsetting people, it’s possible you’re unintentionally making them feel happy, or valued, or heard, even in small, passing interactions. remind yourself that you’re working with fewer resources and a much more limited data pool. a lot of the advice being given is coming from someone who assumes they understand what the math looks like for you, because it’s very difficult to imagine that other side. so instead of trying to overlay a system made for someone who has resources that you just don’t have, you need to figure out what a functional system of interaction looks like for you, and adapt the advice given to fit your situation. my advice, bearing that in mind, is that finding communities and groups can look like a lot of different things, and getting your social needs met can come from a lot of sources, and ideally should! you would understand best what your situation is, and there’s no shame in changing tact to accommodate for your own needs and boundaries.

forgot to answer this for a bit lol BUT yeah, the post was a little bit more about the Conceptual argument than it was about me specifically, so I'm definitely already with you re: 'finding out what your Individual social goals are and working based off of those instead having high expectations based off of other people's metric' stuff. You definitely have a huge point with the "social buffer disparity" between NT people and ND people, where failures are both less demoralizing internally and less impactful externally when you're able to have a greater average of interactions generally also

but I really appreciated the "just as it’s possible you’re somehow unintentionally upsetting people, it’s possible you’re unintentionally making them feel happy, or valued, or heard, even in small, passing interactions" aspect of this message. I do definitely have a recurring problem of like, labeling Myself as an Uncanny Valley Person and automatically assuming that every interaction I'm involved in must be some level of uncomfortable for the other person -- it actually was kind of a revolution moment reading this and realizing that OH it does make sense that if I can unintentionally make people uncomfortable, it's statistically just as likely that I can unintentionally lift people's spirits in one way or another! So thank you very much for that!!