mrhaitch

[mrhaitch]

Will we be getting a face reveal anytime soon🧐🧐

Haha.

No.

[mrhaitch]

how well can you fight mr. haitch. are you prepared.

Ahem.

Are you?

[mrhaitch]

Mr Haitch. Can you fight.

Your first mistake was assuming it would be a fight.

Your second mistake was assuming that fighting me gets you anything.

[mrhaitch]

eeeEeerrrRRRRR YOUR WIFE IS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL???

like I know guys are like 'o yeah my wife is so beautiful' but like...yours actually is.

well caught my man, well caught.

You say that like you're actually surprised.

Also no 'catching' required at all.

Also also: I'm expecting my asks to be more unhinged than usual because Haitch shared a few pictures. Have fun and all that but behave yourselves.

[mrhaitch]

HIHI Mr. Haitch! AHHH TRIP SOOON!!! I will be gone for a while which will (hopefully) be fun. Not looking forward to the heat and excessive amount of bugs but whatever. I am absolutely in love with the new addition to your family like OMG CAT?!? So cute and please give her all the treats and kisses on my behalf. ONWARDS TO THE QUESTIONS:

If you were given an unlimited budget to buy and design your dream house to live in what would it be and any notable features you would want specifically? (Ex: I would want a cute small house but there needs to be enough room for me to have space for a room dedicated to my stuffed animals)

Any games you’re excited for the release of?

Who do you main in Mario kart?

FUN FACT: Ceacillians are super odd creatures. They look like worms, are amphibians, have teeth, some live solely on land, they have mismatched lungs, produce milk, lay eggs, and move by squishing small and then extending forward.

Yes, we're very taken with her. It's taken the cat a long time to trust us enough to come close, but last night was the first time she allowed me to play with her so we're delighted.

1) Probably something similar to my uncle's house: renovate a 17th century farmhouse, ensuring it has a large kitchen and a sizeable library. I've always loved those houses where the book collection spans every available space, with shelves above doorways.

2) Metal Gear Solid Delta (I played Snake Eater to death in high school and college), and Silent Hill f.

3) Shy guy, naturally.

4) I've always loved creatures that are, in some ways, unlikely. Their bodies are badly put together, or they're so highly specialised for a specific environment that you wonder how they make it - and yet they do.

[mrhaitch]

is haitch quite alright

Yep, she's doing fine - just busy with her second novel and the usual horrors of parenthood/adult life.

[mrhaitch]

Is it considered self-plagiarism to reuse a personal statement?

Unlikely. If it is, that is very, very stupid.

Depending on what it's for, though, you will need to make sure any particular information for one use hasn't carried over to another. Like don't send a personal statement to Oxford that goes on about how amazing Cambridge is.

[mrhaitch]

Hello Mr.Haitch!

It’s been literal ages ;-;

How have you been? Love the adorable little addition to the Haitch household

I have been driving myself up the wall trying to choose a topic for my PhD research proposal. Fun fact, in my country every PhD candidate must clear a national level eligibility test before being admitted to a PhD program. So, I’m also busy preparing for that (more like stuck in a constant loop of procrastination and fatalism)

Which prompts me to ask-

1) How and when did you decide to pursue a phd? Was it something you always wanted to do, or did it come to you spontaneously?

2) What did you struggle with the most while pursuing your PhD?

3)…and what’s something you terribly miss about it now?

4 ) May I ask what topic you chose (it’s entirely fine if you’d prefer not to share!)

Thank you in advance for your answers!

And I wish you an excellent rest of the day

PS- I impulsively bought another notebook. And now i’m running out of places to store them…

It has been a while! Doing fine - the tail end of the term was a slog, dragging some of the stragglers through their exams, then resits. Glad it's done now. Congrats on deciding to make the plunge, some jitters and uncertainty are to be expected.

1) You could probably call it a decision in three parts. I first became interested in academia because of my aunt's boyfriend - he was the first adult who spoke to me on a level, showed genuine interest, and I sort of idolised him. Sadly when he and my aunt split up I never heard from him. The second part was during my undergrad, where I fancied myself a budding philosopher. The final decision came when my cinema career bit the dust and I finally decided to take the plunge.

2) The greatest challenge was having to detach from the family for several hours each day. It felt selfish to leave everything to Haitch when all I was really doing was writing or reading books or papers, things I enjoyed and carried on doing well into my own spare time - and yet that's what I needed to do in order to pass.

3) I would have to say the freedom and independence. One of my module supervisors when I was teaching told me your PHD is the one time in your life when you can truly do as you please - follow every passion and curiosity to its fullest with the full backing of your university behind you. In a given day I could be sat writing for two hours without interference, read half a novel, go for long walks, and then have coffee with a colleague where we talked utter bollocks for half the afternoon.

4) My PHD was in Creative Writing, and my thesis was an attempt to address the challenges posed in Dipesh Chakraborty's Four Theses of History and depict a (metaphoric) history of the anthropocene through epic fantasy fiction. Basically, Chakraborty says we haven't been able to properly address or challenge the anthropocene due to fundamental incompatibilities between how we view history (socially), and the ecological consequences of that history (biological). We can't reconcile the competing definitions of humanity and our role within the world, leading to a kind of conceptual paralysis. He then argues we need new histories and new narratives that contextualise social history with our role as a species that's part of a wider ecological system.

...if that makes sense? It also touched on the interconnections between colonialism and environmental collapse and the centrality of violence, specifically male, northern European violence, to all of it. It took some time to narrow the focus down: at first all I had was some ideas gleaned from Daniel Quinn's 'Ishmael', some notion of a fantasy world, and a burning desire to break things.

[mrhaitch]

HIHI Mr. Haitch! Updates before we begin: upon taking typhoid medicine for my upcoming trip I have discovered that I am practically sedated by said medicine. Like as in I will have 10+ hours of sleep (sue me I like sleep), take medicine. 5 minutes later feel as though I'm sleepwalking until I take a nap. I also got a new phone! Slightly upset over the lack of a home button but it works so I'm happy. I hope your family is thriving just as much as your garden is! Now ONTO THE QUESTIONS!

What is your go to lie in 2 truths and a lie?

How many raw onions do you think you could eat before stopping? To 3 decimal places please.

Favourite type and form of cheese? I like truffle cheddars cut up in little cubes so I can eat it like a mouse.

FUN FACT: Mary Shelly lost her virginity on her mother’s grave. Period. Nothing more to add. (May be wrong? But I dunno)

Oof, that's some rough stuff. Apologies it's taken me a while to get back to you on this - the end of the academic year has been nothing short of frantic.

1) This one changes a lot, depending on the audience. Current one: when my band supported Cradle of Filth, I accidentally bumped Dani Filth and spilled his pint, and spent the rest of the night hiding backstage (it was actually Andy Milnes from Hecate Enthroned, sorry Andy).

2) Red onions, probably two or three.

3) M&S have a cheese called a Cornish cruncher (I think) which is a hard white cheese with these little hard crystals inside. I also love a sage derby.

4) Haitch and I talked about this the other day. Perhaps it was a strange attempt to get her mother's approval for the relationship? Who knows.

[mrhaitch]

what would you do if haitch and your lovely children were all turned into cats one day by a bored, wicked faerie, no assurance of when they may return to humanity, if at all

Strap all four into a cat carrying body harness and go to war against the fairies.

If it proved irreversible, open a cat sanctuary.

[mrhaitch]

Mr. Haitch! Hello! Super random query, but we, the live studio audience, need your opinion and thoughts on wine. Are you a white wine kinda guy? Red? A little rosé, perhaps? Do you splurge on a nice bottle every now and again or is a five quid bottle more your speed?

Or maybe you're more like me, the kind of asshole who, if you put an expensive glass and a cheap glass beside each other, would just down both within a few minutes and enjoy them with little difference. Cheers, wine anon.

Hello, hi, hello.

I'm almost exclusively a red drinker, particularly something on the fruitier/spicier side - typically a Shiraz or a Malbec.

Honestly I tend to disregard price, unless it goes too far either way: if it's very cheap, then it's likely just vinegar, and I find there's diminishing returns with expensive wine. Something between 7 and 15 is usually the sweet spot but I'll only ever spend over a tenner if it's a special occasion.

I'm also very, very partial to port and mulled wine. Regardless of the time of year.

[mrhaitch]

haitch kindly revealed some info about her next book that she's writing while she works on editing her first one and i am obsessed obviously, thats why i'm here.

as someone who is also novel writing(though arguably not as efficiently as haitch because i have been writing the same novel for 8 years since i was 15), im interested to know if you see signs of improvement in her second book compared to her first

sometimes with my own book it feels like it wont get any better and i should just stop.

haitch's writing is another level anyway (imho) so i dont know how much better she could necessarily get but i sort of want some hope that even someone's successful/unsuccessful first book isnt a good indicator of their max potential

and what do you think of haitchs second book compared to her first?

thank yoooouuuuu!!!

It's in another league entirely, I feel. This one is much closer to my own tastes, being a blend of gothic and cosmic horror with elements of weird, and it's been a delight thus far.

Fundamentally, my view on writing is this: talent determines where you start but not where you finish, only your willingness to keep pushing and trying can change that. Haitch wrote her first book with a significant leg up from her natural abilities, and even she is shocked and surprised by how much she's improved with her second book.

In addition, you're never the same writer all the way through a book's development. You start at one level and by the end you've grown and improved, which is often why reading it through for the first time can be such a rough experience the first time.

With your book, all I can advise is that you do your best to finish it. You can tinker with the same project from now until eternity but the lessons you can learn from that one project are finite. Eventually you're just shuffling around the same stones on the same gravel path, and it's time to move on (which I would never rush for anyone, I'm well versed in the grieving that comes from leaving a book behind).

This is all to say that where you are now isn't where you're going to be in six months or a year from now. If you're dedicated and determined, if you can make yourself write even when it feels like just another thing you have to get through that day, you will get better at it. You may even surprise yourself.

I've been writing and pursuing (and occasionally gaining) publication for about twelve years now, and it's only with this last book that I finally read something I wrote and felt even the faintest glimmer of pride. Even the stories that got published make me squirm with embarrassment.

[mrhaitch]

Mr haitch……do it jiggle……..

Ask my wife.

[mrhaitch]

Admittedly the first bands I really got into were Marillion, Genesis, and Rush - each of which were prone to 10-20 minutes long epics. Also Meatloaf, which @pseudowho is often alarmed by.

hey. does prog make your ass fatter too or is it mainly a boob enlargening situation

[mrhaitch]

Sometimes.

your agony aunt responses are just so fucking lovely 😭 are you like this in real life?

Apart from the days where I'm super stressed or anxious, I think so?

Dunno. Ask my husband @mrhaitch

[mrhaitch]

just read ur intro and i wanted to say ur so cool! dude i wanna be you when i grow up

Dear god, no.

Aim a bit higher.

[mrhaitch]

anonymous checkin.....

haitch doin ok? she doesn't seem herself.

Yep she's fine, all limbs present and accounted for.