#I feel happy that other queer youth get to be themselves

[milo-knight]

Today me and two of the children I work with wandered the playground. I'm openly nonbinary (he/they) and openly a lesbian. One of the kids is also a lesbian (lesbiflexible technically, as they prefer the term) and both of the kids use she/they pronouns.

It was lovely to just chat with both of them. I was talking about how it took me until I was 18 to realize I wasn't a girl, and how it took me until I was 20 to realize I wasn't attracted to men and that I was a lesbian.

The younger of the two children found what I had to say interesting and had questions about my gender (I trade off between masc and fem looks purely for aesthetic preference and thus a lot of the kids seem to interpret this as me being some variant of genderfluid when in actuality I'm just transmasc) which I was happy to answer. The older child (the one who's sapphic) was happy to have someone who also understood the tragedy of comphet and they talked with me about how they had spent so long trying to convince herself she liked boys.

It was a lovely conversation and I was earnest about how it makes me happy to see younger queer people living in a world where they have access to resources and terminology I didn't have. It was only ten years ago that I was their age, but comphet wasn't a term any young person knew and all I had ever been told about gender was that you were a boy or a girl, and that you could only be trans if you were binary and perfectly passing (or at least trying to pass perfectly).

I don't know this is all rambling but despite the horrible state of the nation it makes me feel a bit better knowing that we as queer people continue on and that the younger generations are able to figure these things out sooner than ever before.

I work for an incredibly open-minded school for context, and also work with two openly nonbinary (they/them) students, a really young trans boy, and (well she graduated to middle school but I worked with her last year) a young trans girl.

[rosiesdisneydrama]

Some Random World Building for GF x SKY

I wanted to draw something for the new year, but I have no spoons for drawing right now. So, instead, I'll drop some world notes on the GF x Sky AU. Hope you all enjoy it.

If anyone wants to ask about stuff for this AU, PLEASE DO. I love getting asked about my aus!

~ The Mystery Shack features displays of the various animals/creatures from Sky! With only a few cryptids from around GF making appearances to round things out. (They get cycled depending on the season.)

A lot of the Sky creatures’ names are a mix of their official and fan names or have an extra suffix added to show that they’re not just regular animals. (Ex. Calling the Mantas “Light Mantas” and their starry versions “Cosmic Mantas.”)

He did that because they were all familiar enough to him that he could make something that Ford could have potentially made for it. While also all being magical/strange enough that he could get away with making stuff about them that would interest tourists and locals enough to pay Ford’s bills.

They’re all real creatures in this universe too, they just live in the Realms of Sky which is really hard to get to without the help of a Sky Kid or a Sky Spirit. So Ford’s never seen them before during his travels because he hasn’t had that access ticket to get there. When he sees Stan’s exhibits, he just assumes they’re totally made up because it’s his sibling who’s the one talking about them.

Then he sees something that makes him realize that maybe, just maybe, there’s more to his brother than he realized.

~ Stanley is seen as the “Cool” old man by the town youths because he’s so… Different from everyone else. He’s in his late 50s/early sixties but he’s got half his head shaved, is covered in tattoos, and completely chill about them just hanging out. (He does charge for any snacks they don’t bring with them though.)

And, when they ask for it, he gives them genuine advice if they ask him about getting their heads shaved or getting tattoos. Even piercings, despite not having any himself. He tells them things they ought to know about doing those themselves.

What the best/safest way to do them is, how they need to be cared for over time, what they should do to avoid infections, and more.

And he takes them seriously.

He doesn’t shrug off their questions or their thoughts/opinions. He listens to things they’re going to him for help/advice. And it’s been that way for years! There are more than a few adults who went to him for advice as teens and now they advise others to do the same.

He’s also openly part of the Queer community. Not a “scream it from the rooftops” type, but he doesn’t hide that he likes all genders and doesn’t fully identify as a man himself. (He just knows that everyone is attractive and he’s not a chick. But that’s about it.)

He doesn’t know all the terms and flags but is actually very happy to help people figure themselves out.

(He may have been the one who helped get the two officers of GF together. Just made a comment about how nice their relationship was without knowing they weren’t actually an Item. They promptly had their “Wait you can DO that?!” freak out and he awkwardly excuses himself to let them talk it out.)

~ Stan remembered being the Cackling Cannoneer due to Traumatic Events. (Near-drowning experience.) And while he's happier to have memories of that life to help him in his current one, he really wished that wasn't how it had all come back to him.

There are days where he misses being in the Sky Realms and the people he knew there, but he tries to not let himself linger on those feelings for too long.

But what he has been enjoying is relearning and experimenting with the magic (gestures, spells, and so on). Most of them are harmless or have purely cosmetic effects, a few he used to lock up places so that people can't get in, but there are a few that he's figured out (or even made) that have proved very useful for getting out of tight spots. Especially in the woods around Gravity Falls.

He's made a book that he keeps hidden in the basement that has his "confirmed" notes on Sky Magic. It's a mix of a reminder book and a "Notes for Teaching Someone Else If I Have To" book.

[aziraphales-library]

Hi! I was wondering if you had recs for something longer that has a lot of exploration of queer themes? Love your blog!

Hello. We have #long fic and #queer themes tags you can check out. Here are some that have both...

The End is Where We Start From by tiresius (E)

“Aziraphale, hello. It’s er, been a long time.” “Yes, dreadfully long. You look different.” He immediately coloured in evident embarrassment. “I mean, of course you look different, as do I of course, I didn’t mean bad different, that is to say…” Something inside of Crowley, something that had been in a deep freeze for several eons, was starting to thaw. It was letting little bits and pieces of familiarity break loose to float back into their rightful places in his soul. One of those pieces, those round, blue eyes, suddenly snapped into place, and he felt a corresponding wave of long-forgotten feeling wash through him. Aziraphale is anxious. Make Aziraphale happy. “Yeah,” he interrupted. “D’you wanna… get a coffee or something?” *** Crowley and Aziraphale meet by chance on the street. They've met before, in their youth, in a different life. Some difficult things have happened since then. Will they be able to find their way back to each other and to themselves? A Good Omens human AU.

Orbit by altsernative (M)

"It was like they were in orbit with each other. Locked into their paths. Circling each other. Coming so close for golden snatches of time, then dragged away again. Again, and again, and again." Literature instructor Aziraphale and Astronomy instructor Crowley have been best friends for eight years whilst teaching at Agnes Nutter College, a subsidiary of Cambridge. If they ever wanted something more than that, well, they certainly hadn’t said anything. Just as they start to come to terms with their feelings for one another, Aziraphale is promoted to department head and out of Crowley’s life as part of the college's strict non-fraternisation policy. Neither is willing to give the other up, and with the help of a few familiar faces, a pub called Taddy’s that only plays four specific types of songs, Tracy, an enthusiastic B&B owner/community queer icon, and a hidden garden everyone seems to have forgotten about, they risk everything to try and find their way back into each other's lives once more.

An Absence of Stars by mllekurtz (E)

A.Z. Fell is a famous (well, in his circle) Soho bookseller whose selection of volumes is the epitome of respectable (and boring) literature. One of his favourite authors is the renowned science writer A.J. Crowley, whose books on astronomy have popularized the subject — and also sell very well. Mr Fell is overjoyed when Dr Crowley accepts his invitation to do a signing of his new book in the bookshop, but their first conversation is a disaster: for some reason, Crowley does not share Fell’s distaste for romantic literature and acts very cold when the bookseller berates the author of one of the most popular romance series of the moment, Madame Ashtoreth. Little does Fell know that his favourite writer and the one he hates with a passion are the same person…

I Knew I Loved You by AppleSeeds (E)

In September 1999, when his family gets connected to the internet, prospective Marine Biology student Crowley discovers an online forum where he can actually talk to people who share his passion for saving the whales. He begins corresponding with a kind stranger he knows only as Ocean_Angel, and is incredibly excited when the opportunity arises to meet this mysterious person in real life. As their friendship develops, Crowley shares things with Angel that he can't talk about with anyone else, and Angel's insights help him to explore and embrace his own identity. As Crowley works towards finding a place in this world where he feels like he really belongs, he realises that a big part of the answer to that question might actually be right in front of him. What if where he belongs is with Angel?

secondhand smoke by PaintedVanilla (T)

you're second hand smoke, second hand smoke i breathe you in, but, honey, i don't know what you're doing to me mon chéri the year is 1990, and anthony crowley is looking for a church in london that might be tolerable. the one he winds up attending isn't exactly such, but he decides to stick around for one reason. said reason happens to own a bookshop that crowley begins to frequent, much to the surprise and delight of anathema device and newton pulsifer, who seem quite convinced that crowley could use something else to focus on besides gardening, their campaigns, and visits to tadfield.

Sit Tight, Take Hold by nieded (E)

The summer of 2022, Ezira Phale is a rookie Formula 1 driver out to prove he's one of the best racecar drivers in the world, but everything gets turned upside down when he falls in love with his real-life idol, AJ Crowley. Or: The one where Crowley does not go too fast for Aziraphale. _____ This story uses a multi-media format with CSS and HTML. It's best read using the workskin so please make sure that you are enabling user workskins. If you do not want to use the workskin, I will also be posting a .pdf of each chapter and a final .pdf once everything is posted! I’m not so cool as to know how to do podcasts, manips, and videos, but this will feature scripts, news articles, text messages, tumblr, and race programming! So strap in and put your seatbelt on! This is going to be one fast ride of romance, competition, and over-indulgence.

- Mod D

[nerdygaymormon]

Bishops Council

In my stake, twice a quarter the bishops get together with the stake presidency. I typically do not attend this meeting, but stake president invited me to come since one of the bishops had added "counsel with LGBT youth" as an agenda item.

The stake president has a gay son and is fully capable of speaking to this, but I appreciate that he wanted to include the point of view of someone who is queer.

When we got to this topic, the stake president shared a few slides I had sent him earlier based on some research done at Utah State University.

The stake president then spoke about things he has learned as the dad of a gay child. Primarily that it is his job to love, and his son is going to have his own journey. The things he has learned as the parent of a queer child has helped him be a better stake president.

One of the bishops shared that when he was newly called three years ago that I sent him an email with 10 suggestions. He keeps that email bookmarked and has referred to it several times over the years. It helped him understand his role and that he could be confident in meeting with queer individuals and help them feel seen, loved, and valued. Then he read the list while wiping away tears, and I also was moved to tears to hear him share how impactful these suggestions were for him

David's list of 10 suggestions for bishops

All LGBT members need a trusted adult in their life who loves, supports and sustains them, no matter which path they choose.

When someone “comes out” they should be greeted with love, validation and hope, not a lecture on repentance or reminder of the Church’s stance on same-sex marriage  

Create a safe culture for the LGBT person. This could include speaking to youth and YSA about what sort of conversation their bishop would have with them if they come out, that it’s okay if now is not the right time to come out, and there is no shame to the person or their family if they are gay/trans. There's a good chance there's some LGBT people in your ward, even if you don't know who they are.

Don’t use words like “struggling” or say they’ll be “fixed” in the resurrection

Our Heavenly Parents love their LGBT children, we should give them unconditional love and support and recognize they will bless the lives of others

LGBT individuals are more likely to be the victims of bullying and violence than any other minority group in the USA. Be on the lookout for youth or young adults who may be doing & saying unkind things.  

Know the signs of suicide and depression. LGBT people are at much higher risk. It’d be a good idea for youth leaders to have some training in this.

Encourage them to pray and ask if God loves them as they are 

Especially before or after lessons about marriage, say something like “I know there are people in this ward who cannot be married because of same-sex attraction or other reasons. I love you, and the Lord has a plan for you.”

Know that studies show that being active in the LDS church is often detrimental to the mental health and quality of life for LGBT people. For a person’s well-being, they may decide they need a break. Make sure they know they’re welcome to come back.

I then blurted out, "I'm gay, just in case anyone didn't know." A counselor in the stake presidency said, "Duh, we all know you're a happy guy."

Another bishop shared that he has a child who recently came out as trans and is in their first semester of college. This child hasn't fully discussed this with the family but is using this time away to experiment with what feels right to them. He loves this child and wants them to be their best and to be comfortable with themselves and it's taking some adjustments for him to understand and change his dreams for them.

Then my bishop shared that I had given him the same 10 suggestions when he was first called and he feels it has helped him be successful as a bishop to queer youth. He shared an incident that happened recently which involved a young women leader overhearing part of a conversation between two teens. He didn't share the specifics of the discussion other than it was about being gay. The leader was uncomfortable with what she heard and spoke about it at ward council.

Another bishop commented, "Oh yes, ward council, that's the right place to discuss that" as he rolled his eyes.

The stake president said a better approach would've been for the leader to ask the girls to share more with her, to be open to a conversation with them, rather than run to the ward council to share how shocked and uncomfortable she was.

I thought it was a good discussion even though I wound up saying very little. I had prepared some thoughts ahead of time that I could use as reference, and I sent them by email to the bishops (see below).

————————————————————

There are queer individuals who attend our congregations, many of whom aren't out to everyone, and so you speak to queer people even if you don't know who they are.

We are children of God, we deserve to hear good news, to have hope, to feel loved. Unfortunately that doesn’t happen often enough in church settings. People who interacted with Christ left feeling uplifted and that would be a good goal for us.

In 2019, the former stake president said this in Bishops' Council: LGBT individuals are some of the most patient people you’ll ever meet. They’ve heard more hurtful words than most any of us will hear in our entire lifetime. That doesn’t mean they’re immune to the words. There are LGBT members who come to church and they deserve to hear good words, to be welcomed and loved and be strengthened in the gospel.

Handbook 38.6.15 The Church encourages families and members to reach out with sensitivity, love, and respect to persons who are attracted to others of the same sex. The Church also promotes understanding in society at large that reflects its teachings about kindness, inclusiveness, love for others, and respect for all human beings.

Handbook 38.6.23 Transgender individuals face complex challenges. Members and nonmembers who identify as transgender—and their family and friends—should be treated with sensitivity, kindness, compassion, and an abundance of Christlike love. All are welcome to attend sacrament meeting, other Sunday meetings, and social events of the Church

When my bishop was first called, a member of the ward asked me if I thought the new bishop would be safe to meet with and share his orientation. I sent the bishop an email to find out and received this beautiful response:

David, Thank you for sharing this with me. I hope that the Spirit can guide me to treat LBGTQ members and investigators with love and respect. I’m not sure what your journey has been, but I would guess that it has included anguish, heartbreak and innumerable unintentional and even some intentional wounds. As far as I am aware, I am the only person called to be a judge in the ward, and I believe that office is to help everyone come to Christ, not send any away. I may not fully appreciate how or which traditions and traditional phrases may carry messages of exclusion, but I am open to learning a better way. I hope that I can “make the pathway bright” for LBGTQ members and friends. In hope, Bishop

One of the scariest parts of coming out is not knowing how the other person will respond. The previous stake president at a youth fireside shared how he would react if a person met with him and shared that they are LGBTQ.

I would thank you for trusting me enough to share this with me.

If you're willing, I'd like for you to share with me some about your journey up to this point.

I would offer to give you a blessing.

Regardless of whether you accepted or declined the offer of a blessing, I'm a hugger so I'd ask if I can give you a hug.

I'd invite you to come see me again when you want to talk some more.

Questions many LGBTQ+ members would welcome from their church leaders (these come from the fourth option)

What does being LGBTQIA+ mean for you at this time?

What has been difficult about being an LGBTQIA+ member of the church? What's been fulfilling?

What do you want your future to look like?

What do you believe or want to believe?

What revelation have you received, if any, about your path in life?

What's on your mind related to your sexuality or gender identity and faith?

How has being queer influenced your relationship with Christ?

How can we best support you?

Do you feel safe in our congregation? What can we do to make it safer?

Has anyone said or done anything to make you feel unwanted in the ward?

From what you've observed so far, how can we improve as a ward?

How would you like to be involved in the ward?

What callings would you feel comfortable with?

What skills would you like to use to contribute to our ward? 

What else would you like me to know?

Things ward & stake leaders can do (also from the fourth option)

Pray for guidance on how to make your ward safer and more inclusive for LGBTQIA+ members (out or not)

Call LGBTQIA+ members to callings in a range of auxiliaries

Invite LGBTQIA+ members to share their experiences in fifth Sunday lessons, firesides, ward councils meetings, etc

Encourage your stake to call an LGBTQ fellowship coordinator

Speak to LGBTQIA+ members over the pulpit and in lessons (move away from the "use vs. them" mentality; show that we're part of every ward, out or not)

Include LGBTQIA+ members in discussions about ministering and and outreach

Regularly check in with us to see if anyone is making us feel unsafe

Get to know us personally

Wear a rainbow pin or similar thing to indicate that you're an ally

Speak in support of LGBTQIA+ people and help others remember that we are children of God

Ask your ward or stake to start a support group for LGBTQIA+ members, families, and allies (volunteer to help if possible)

Pray for guidance on how to best minister to LGBTQIA+ individuals in your ward

Pray for God to reveal more about His plan for His LGBTQIA+ children

Correct people when they say uninformed or hateful things

Listen to our stories, sit in our pain, celebrate our joy

Studies show that on average gay men (and I suspect this is true of queer people in general) are more creative, have higher IQ’s and higher emotional intelligence, have more compassion and are more cooperative and have less hostility. Of course someone with these qualities is going to bless the lives around them.

We have a stake group for LGBTQ members, and their family, friends and allies, which meets about every other month. For more information, contact me.

[transhawks]

I think this Toga battle is everything and I love her gay ass. That being said I think her expression of love being forbidden because of society makes for a realllly bad LGBT allegory just because her expression of love is harmful in every possible way. It’s rightfully wrong, though still tragic in the sense that she was born that way. She’s still really cool and interesting though, and we can enjoy her from afar because she’s fictional

Shit, so I want to disagree but it'll require an essay I'm already planning to write. So I'll throw out some points.

Toga's love is wrong in two aspects - one, I firmly believe Toga's love is an issue with self-hatred and her thinking she has to live as someone else to be loved. So it's a love born of denying and being denied self-love.

The other aspect is consent. Jokes aside, I've said for years Toga's story reads like a queer allegory to me because a really good "solution" to her issues could have been repressing for three more years and then, as an adult, entering consensual kink- relationships surrounding blood drinking. I know there's a sanguinarian community in Japan, and Toga would have an easy time, as a conventionally attractive girl, finding partners. But otherwise, Toga's so used to rejection for her wants that she has not even gone about asking, expecting the answer will be no.

To that point, that's an incredibly queer feeling. There's an immense amount of fear being queer and attracted to people of the same sex/gender because of the violence following some deviations. I don't have links on hand but I know there's studies done about how often women fear expressing homosexual attraction towards other women due to not wanting to come off as predators. Toga's quirks becomes an allegory for "repressing an interest you know will be rejected as deviant no matter what".

It's not just "queerness" in the wlw/sexual orientation way. Again, this is a Japanese story for Japanese story. Toga's way of expressing herself is way too forward in a society where they just say "like" to get out of saying "love" and even that is too forward because it involves directly addressing a person in a language where people avoid "you" language if they can.

It's not just the way she wants, it's the way she wants at all. Toga is a nail that sticks out in so many ways and cannot bend to society. The best (realistic) solution would have likely been waiting a few years and finding her own community but this then verges on the inability of queer youth to imagine futures for themselves (see the concept of queer temporality). If you don't see a future where you are allow the possibility of happiness, can you imagine one? Can you swallow the misery and wait it out? Many people cannot. Like I said, this is a very layered, complex topic. It deserves a serious essay from me. I'll try to write it.

[hyperfixatedoncrimminalminds]

BAU team x LGBTQ + Teen reader

So it's pride month so of course im going to write a oneshot about teen reder making everyone go to Pride with them becuase i dint nearly see enough of these on here.

summary:  It's pride Month and the reader wlaks in to the teams work and demands that they all come to pride with them to celebrate.

Y/N - They/Them pronouns using (any Sexuality)

My headcannons for the team

Hotch

- Bisexual

- definitely Trans (FtM)

-Demisexual as well (loves Haley and obviously had a baby with her)

Rossi

- Biromantic (apart from 3 wifes he definitely experimented with men in his youth)

- Gives the best Dad/Grandad hugs at pride

-Is proud of his Queer children

Spencer

- Bisexual

- Genderfluid (he's my baby he has to be Genderfluid)

-Asexual

Derek Morgan

- Biromantic (hasnt done anything Sexual with a man before because of buford (Bastard)

Emily

- do you have to ask obviously a fucking raging lesbian (definitely had a crush on JJ at some point)

JJ

- Bisexual but is in a committed relationship with Will, had a crush on Emily at some point( I ship them okay)

Penelope Garcia

- Pansexual and Panromantic very open about who she is and is very happy

-Demigirl she still feels like a girl but also not uses She/They pronouns.

(these are my headcannons it's okay if you don't agree woth them just don't come at me in the comments!!)

Third person pov...

It was the first of June which meant Pride Month! Y/N had been excited about it all year, they couldn't wait to get thr team to go to a Pride Parade with them and to celebrate it all together.

Y/N themselves was Non-binary and (What Sexuality you are) and are very proud to be it, they are always seen wearing their pronouns badge and Non-binary pin.

Y/N was making their way to the FBI building, in their hands were mini pride flags and stickers for all their friends, once they got to the floor they skipped out of the elevator and into the bullpen.

The team didn't see them so they quickly began putting each team members flags into their pen pots. Bisexual, Asexual and Genderfluid for Spencer. Biromantic to Derek. Bisexual for JJ. Lesbian for Emily.

As Rossi, Hotch and Penelope all had offices Y/N lefts their flags outside the doors and knocked so they saw them, once the Teen was done they went to the round table and sat on a chair waiting for the team to notice them.

A couple minutes later all 7 members wondered into the room, smiling when they see the teen not expecting them to be there. Once everyone was sitting Y/N stood up.

"Okay guys as you know it's Pride Month, which means Virginia is having its Pride Parade and I was wondering if you'd like to go to it with me?" They ask nervously, they had never asked the team anything to do woth pride even though they had been out as Non-binary to them for years.

Thw first perosn to speak was Penelope they squealed and stood up a giant smile on her face. She then reached out and hugged Y/N tightly. "Of course we will sweetie, won't we giys?" She says making then other all say yes and take turns hugging Y/N.

After they had finished hugging Y/N the teen began ruffling through their bag again and pulled out pin badges for everyone with their flags on. "For you guys I have mine" they say pointing to their Non-binary pin and (Y/S) badge proudly.

Once everyone had theirs, they all went back to work, the pride parade wasn't until that Saturday.

Timeskip...

It was Saturday morning and Y/N was awake and doing their make up for pride, once they were done they left their house and made their way to the middle of town where the team was waiting.

JJ had brought Henry and Will, Hotch also had Henry with him, Y/N was happy to see them all wearing something to do with their flags.

Penelope was decked out in the colours of the Pan flag and had a small demigirl flag painted on their face.

Hotch had a Bisexual flag on his face and a trans flag in his hand, he also had a Demisexual flag pinned to his tshit, Jack was holding a small pride flag in his hand a hug grin on his face.

Y/N almost cried at what Rossi was wearing, it was a tshirt that read 'Free Dad hugs' Y/N laughed when they saw 'Grand' written infront of the Dad part definitely Morgan or Emily's doing, he also had a small Biromantic flag painted on his face.

Spencer was wearing the Asexual colours, had a Bisexual flag tied to their shoulders and had the Genderfluid flag painted on his cheek, he too had a huge smile on his face.

Derek had a Biromantic flag on his cheek and was wearing the Bi colours definitely Penelopes doing.

Emily had the lesbian flag painted on her face and the Lesbian flag tied around her shoulder proudly.

JJ had a Bisexual flag painted on her face, Will was wearing a tshirt that read 'I love my Bi wife' which was cute and little Henry was holding a rainbow flag like Jack.

"You all look amazing!" Exclaimed the teen, very happy to see the team in the spirit, they really thought they wouldn't wear anything especially Hotch. "Let's go enjoy the parade!" They yelled before running into the park.

The park itself was filled with people who were there celebrating pride and wearing their flags. Rossi got so many hugs from teens who got kicked out or aren't supported by their parents which made the old man cry.

They stayed in the park until the parade was starting one it did the team all joined in and took any pictures together to remember the day they had.

By the end the kids had fallen asleep, Jack and Henry had gotten alot of stickers and were covered in them, Y/N was scrolling through their phone smiling at all the pictures and videos they took together.

Before everyone left they stood up and turned to all 7 of them. "Thank you all for doing this with me I had alot of fun" they said making the Adults smile at the teen.

"Of course Y/N, your our kid how could we not do this together" Hotch says making the teen tear up, thw teen then hugs the man tightly to hugs them back

It truly was an amazing day for everyone.

The end!

Hoped you liked thus oneshot, I've been meaning to write thus for days but didn't have any ideas but now here it is.

As always sorry for the grammar and Spelling mistakes. Request are open!

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!

❤🧡💛💚💙��

Word count: 1163

[velvetvexations]

I think Velvet Nation has their heads screwed on tight and would understand that "I'm prone to attention/praise-seeking behavior" is not mutually exclusive with having some kinna "genuine" moral framework. Like, you could say that literally everyone only ever does something good because it makes them feel good. Ever act of charity either results in dopamine or prevents guilt at not having done so. Everything a human being does is selfish when you reduce the action to it's most basic, chemical level.

But with narcs it's different, there's this assumption that if a narc does something good they're standing there actively thinking "haha, you fool, I don't care about suicidal queer youth at all! I only donated five hundred thousand dollars to The Trevor Project so you would give me praise!". But consider that maybe, like, someone with NPD wants to be the best person they possibly can be? That they might not be satisfied with themselves if they didn't feel they were moral enough?

Some people go hard on being outsiders with rough edges. And you know, why the fuck shouldn't they? Even trying to do good gets them accused of being predators specifically for trying to do good. No shit some of them decide "then let me be evil" and embrace the fact that they're perceived as self-centered assholes. Yet, even then - they're talking openly about it all the time, it's a core part of their identity, that makes it difficult to fly under people's radar to secretly break them into being a worshipful slave.

But guess what? Having been raised by my mother, I can understand why someone with undiagnosed NPD can be a really fucking bad time for someone close to them. I'm so sympathetic to anyone who's actually suffered abuse from someone with NPD, because it sucks, it's bad.

It's like how I feel whenever TERFs complain about trans-identified males appropriating the pain of menstruation - I'm so willing to give any and all people who get periods that that fucking sucks and regardless of gender identity or anything else I understand and appreciate the fortune of not having to go through that. A transfem friend once told someone she was jealous of them menstruating and I was thinking like "I get how dysphoria is complicated and that can be something you have a valid desire for but holy fuck please please please never say that to a cis woman again", not because she was "appropriating" anything, but because shit like that is a miserable time for the people that go through it and it's desirable to respect that. So it sucks when I see TERFs pushing that line as though my respect in that regard isn't worth anything.

(to be clear, people who think I'm a crypto-TERF, I mean respect towards menstruating people generally, I have no respect for TERFs in any regard and am happy for them specifically to just cope and seethe about it)

The point of this tangent is that I'M REASONABLE. I CAN WORK WITH YOU. If anyone comes to me in good faith I'm not ever going to dismiss that sort of thing. Hell, I said the other day that if someone thought "Mormon" was a slur above simply being disrespectful I'd tell them to touch grass, but if that hypothetical person actually was like "yeah I get why you feel this way but I have these reasons it hurts me and I wish people wouldn't use it so it feels like a slur to me and it sucks that my situation is automatically so irrational to everyone else" I'd be like...I'm probably going to keep saying it because everyone else said it wasn't a problem and it's likely to come up in the future, but I'm really sorry, if you're a follower of mine maybe there's a tag I can use?

My own immense charity and grace in writing that is literally bringing a tear to my eye, which is what being a narc is like. Or maybe that's just because I'm also autistic and get moved by things like that very easily without making a distinction as to if it's coming from me or someone else. But either way, I guess, there are people who want me to just not fucking bother, lest I cloak my narcissism from my helpless prey.

[gregoftom]

I often think about what Tom’s childhood/adolescence in Minnesota must have been like to make him Like That. His parents seem like very normal people that love him a lot, so I feel like it’s not because of them. Like no parent is perfect but I’d say he has a pretty good relationship with them given how happy he is to see them at the wedding and the fact that he trusts his mom to be his lawyer (him rarely going to see them is likely more Shiv’s doing). So I think a lot of it comes down to Tom being a very repressed and closeted gay kid in the 80s lmao. Like I imagine him being the flamboyant kid that enjoys traditionally “girly” stuff (like reading his mom’s Vanity Fair magazines) and naturally gets along better with the girls than the boys, and getting relentlessly bullied for it to the point that it breaks something in him and he starts to do the whole hypermasculine posturing thing we see him do constantly in the show. But that’s not *him* so it comes across as stilted and unnatural and he still has trouble making friends with the other boys, who find him weird and definitely call him gay (or some other nasty slurs). As he gets into high school I think he’d have figured out how to convincingly play straight and be accepted by his peers. A headcanon of mine is that one of Tom’s formative gay youth experiences is being on his high school hockey team and having a crush on one of his teammates; maybe he has a homoerotic moment with him, or maybe not, but the whole thing is terrifying to him. He’s surrounded by guys that are so easily masculine and are attracted to girls and don’t have to force themselves to be “normal,” and he knows he’d be shunned if they knew what he was and what he was thinking. Basically I think he was under so much stress ALL THE TIME so when he becomes an adult he just shoves it down and makes himself commit to the act that he’s a Masculine Heterosexual Man because he believes he needs to be one if he wants to be happy. Then he meets Greg when he’s in his forties and everything completely falls apart lmao

ohhhh god my poor babyyyyyyyyyyyyy 😭 i love all of this so muchhhh but for me i feel like. yeah his rs with his parents is mostly good but he Definitely has daddy issues like 100%. i feel like his dad ofc wasn't cruel to a logan degree but he like. really drove home the idea that boys don't cry. iygwim. and the fact that they have the exact same voice intonation is just mmm delicious on top of that. i think that definitely contributed to a lot of his feelings on masculinity and insecurities and why he also feels the need to repress so much and when it boils over unhealthily express it as rage because that's so much better than crying because he shouldn't cry because he's a man ffs suck it up. but all the other stuff, YES i mean i see him as bi BUT it all relates to the same thing, being queer in that time and being so repressed and his stress and pain, like ugh. ugh!!!! baby boy. baby. and yeahohhhh yeah greg drops in like a spanner in the works. cupid's arrow strikes and tom is like. man

[tigerlilycorinne]

Is It Bad If My Gums Bleed When I Floss? Review:

10/10!! Or: 5 stars out of 5!

(Yes, it is bad if your gums bleed when you floss.)

This poetry collection is utterly stunning. It gathers together so many ideas that I love to see written about (including but not limited to: the entanglement of love, desire, pain, grief, trauma and healing, and the tragedy of memory and lost youth) into one incredible, cohesive, and connected experience. It follows a dental student, Netty, through her life, from childhood crushes and naivete to sexual desire and sexual trauma, to a beautiful point even with this pain with the love of her life. It is a breathtaking experience, the kind of work you have to be curled up with, at a time and place where it’s possible for you to put it down and close your eyes and breathe deeply before you keep reading. It made me cry multiple times, at this intersection between recognition, tragedy, and joy. I’m happy for Netty and heartbroken for her and everything in between. These poems portray Netty’s humanity in such an intimate, honest, and internal way.

As someone who doesn’t read poetry that often, I was absolutely delighted to understand the narrative that runs through each poem: it is understandable, never confusing, and never so on the nose that it feels like spoon feeding. It gives so much meaning without getting tangled in cross-metaphor, it paints vivid emotion without becoming melodramatic, it draws striking images without getting stuck in descriptive tangent, and it is heartbreakingly earnest without ever crossing into cliche. Behind each pause, space, repeated phrase, and bolded letter is a careful intent—Blue is an artist creating the most authentic and meaningful art-experience with deliberation and rhythm; someone who knows how to best communicate experience in a way that’s both receivable and gut wrenching. Each poem feels essential to the work as a whole; the collection is infinitely more than the sum of its parts because each poem is so deeply interconnected with each other poem: Netty wouldn’t be the same without every single entry.

It is about so many things—exploration of the development of queer desire and comp-het, the way a trauma follows you and the strength it takes to live and love even if it cannot leave you, and, of course, teeth—but most of all it feels like a comprehensively tragic and hopeful collection about the heartbreaking process of growing up. It is steeped in grief for Netty herself. For the Netty before she learned the bad things of the world. It is full of sadness and still recognizes that everyone moves through this loss of innocence; everyone begins wishing their baby teeth meant something more to someone (“I guess I just wanted it to mean more to you / than it did.” (“2004”)) and ends up aware of the darker ideas surrounding keeping a child’s teeth (“I think I get it—what kind of / person / keeps a child’s teeth?” (“Daddy”)). Everyone makes mistakes, or gets taken advantage of, and finds a way to blame themselves, and everyone mourns and misses who they were before the pain. Ultimately, this poetry collection feels to me like an extensive, difficult, beautiful journey to find who Netty is not outside or minus her sadness and her self-grief, but who she is with it. It’s about finding love that doesn’t evoke gore and destruction.

Though it’s difficult to pick favorite poems in a collection that feels as if each poem is most valuable next to each other poem in the collection, I’d have to pick “Career Day,” “Adolescence,” “Anthropophagus,” “Apostrophe,” “Sticky,” “Butterbugs” “Coffee Stains,” and “Things That Don’t Mean Anything At All” (it should say something that I had to list THIS MANY favorite poems). Each made me take a breath before I kept reading. I’m absolutely in love with every one of them.

I love this dearly and I will never forget it.

If you want to pre-order it, go here

If you want to read its goodreads listing go here

[pan-flute-skeleton]

Let's be sexy and do Bound and Desire for any and/or all of your OCs :3

You know what? I'll take this opportunity to talk about some of my lesser known/lesser talked about OCs. So I'll do Ace, Mallory, Valeria and Elliot

Bound: Ace, like Kari, was more trapped in a bad situation rather than captured against their will. In their youth, they ran with a not so nice crew that led to delinquent behavior. While they got lucky by knowing how to not be in the wrong place at the wrong time, they craved the sense of belonging and community. But time passes, people grow up and they got themselves out whether the group wanted that or not.

Mallory, when she was an full time dancer, was physically trapped in a situation with a man who wouldn't let her leave. The guy paid for a private dance and refused to let her leave unless she ahem provided more services. He got far in his assault, but never stuck the landing. Her sisters in service broke down the door and knocked his socks off.

Valeria, never. Too straightlaced and alert to ever end up captured. I think she'd complain and pick apart her kidnapper's quarters so much that they'd give her back.

Elliot, he was trapped by his birth country. He never quite fit in while growing up in the states, rural mountain towns that couldn't find their own town on a map. The man was studious and worldly, wanted to see where he could go that he felt useful. On the outside it looked like arrogance and an obsession with perfection, but he knew he wanted something that he couldn't get in the states. Becoming an ambassador was the compromise he could get

Desire: Ace wants to atone for the knucklehead behavior they exhibited in their past. After finding purpose in caretaking, they also want to provide the best care for their clients. They've seen first hand how little some people care about others and if they can make a difference with at least one person's life, they'd be happy. Although, they certainly weren't expecting that person to be the grandmother of a Dethklok member

Mallory wants her son to be happy and successful and out of trouble. She hopes he does something respectable and something society accepts without question. She doesn't want him to go down a similar path that she did. As a business woman, she wants her club to succeed and be a haven for all working mothers in the industry. That's why she donates to charities when she can and opens her doors to those who need help. Mallory tries to show people that her club is more than just a spot for hedonism.

Valeria wants to live up to her father's expectations. Growing up, she internalized the pressure and convinced herself that they were her own expectations. I do feel bad for her because she's the kind of person who doesn't know what they themselves want in life, having been acting on other people's accord for so long. Her one big desire was Annaliese, her now wife. In her quest to become an accepted working queer woman, she found love as a wonderful bonus.

Elliot sought escape and he got it when he became an expat in Sweden. When he became a father, he desired his daughters to live as perfect europeans. Never wanting them to become full americans but also falling back to deep rooted familiar parenting skills. Freya brought alot of Swedish flair, but when it was just him he couldn't quite get the american fully out of his system. If he had his desires met, his daughters would never even know of their mixed nationality

[ohwell-itsme]

I see a lot of problems that are caused by or grow because of the language used, and I just feel like this time the fault doesn't lie in twinks. Because the word itself belongs in an alignment that was classifying all kinds of body types. And then it ended up being popularized in online fandom places. And something happened.

The pieces of media fandoms center themselves already held biases, in order to be marketable. The fandoms, however unaware of it, already held their biases. And suddenly everybody's favorite guy was a twink. Most of them don't even remember the other qualifications, because they'd have to first learn of otters or think about body hair other than maybe happy trail at all to bother with those to begin with.

The thing is, it wouldn't be any different under any other word. They want "a man with paper skin and bones made out of glass", a wet cat, babyboy, prettyboy, babygirl even, a little bottom bitch, and bottoms have no rights, a submissive and breedable catboy, a malewife, a bitchboy, a fragile little scrungly and it'd be so easy to snap his spine, a wind could knock him over, pathetic, slutty little waist, a dumb whore, crybaby tboy with visible ribs, he can't drive a car, it's a gay thing, a little housewife with a flat tummy and woman's underwear that only thinks about his boyfriend

You said you won't get into the gender roles 2.0, but this IS a facet of that, everyone knows not to say "the woman in the relationship" so they found all those slightly more subtle ways to apply misogyny 1:1 to all possible other receivers in sex, starting with the scrutiny over weight, make up, clothes, then moving onto perceived sluttiness, or purity, ability to be an independent adult, the role in a romantic relationship, eventually a role in the house with said partner, taking on most of the chores while the other has a job, they can have a part-time job or a hobby, but their main purpose is cooking, cleaning, looking pretty and taking the d.

This is all connected, and I don't think we can fight one of the aspects of body-shaming without fighting the root as well. And the root is the ever prevalent idea that everybody in the world should aim to please the allo gaze [wait what? Okay, so. I don't want to call it the male gaze. both because a lot of what's described here is done by women, like honestly a lot of queer people perpetuates that, and because at the end of the day it's aphobic, the notion is that you have to make your body attractive or be socially rejected if you don't meet the norm]

Sometimes I feel like being fat, disabled, trans or aspec themselves is the only way people wake up from this at all and none of us are immune to continuing to engage regardless because it's so ingrained into online culture, but that's the doomer mindset.

I think the start, the point where we can begin to challenge all that is reminding people to enjoy media through other lenses than shipping, appreciate characters that you don't immediately want to read smutty fics of, and once we're past that and people stop tuning out the characters that don't meet their beauty standards we can get to lowering those standards, because paying attention to something long enough makes one notice beauty in it, but people need to start paying attention first!

So here's another rot: the acceleration of fandom and death of proper analysis. How are people supposed to appreciate characters they're not immediately attracted to if they don't look into the nitty-gritty of the characterization? And how can we expect media that only want to be marketable to deliver on better and actually diverse rep when they see the little background scraps they give remain majorly unappreciated by the fandom?

Telling people to just not treat fat characters different from skinny ones won't help, because they're not being normal about those. There is another essay somebody could write, and most likely have before, about fetishization of youthfulness, "healthy & natural" appearances, the beauty industry, the predatory nature of it, sexualization of teenagers, and it goes on. Because we, as a society, treat our bodies like some sort of advertisement & the product we're advertising, selling something to people's eyes, something consumable. A character from a big IP meant to make money has to be as widely digestible as possible. Deviance from the established norm is often seen as repulsive, even grotesque. We haven't taken a step away from treating disabled bodies as a horror/tragedy, but here we are with the hopes that an average person with a m/m OTP won't hurl at the image of a gay bear.

Darlings, I am not gonna lie, I am a little worried about the future.

Well it's come up multiple times today so I'll make a post about it.

I think the popularization of the word "twink" has ultimately been really bad for people in general.

I know it's hard to track the positive and negative effects of language but I don't think it's hard to see how creating a word for a group of people wherein the most consistent qualifying trait is "being skinny" is healthy for people's self image. Obviously people have lots of ideas about what it means to be a twink- gay, lacking body hair, feminine, beautiful, young, white- but the most consistent descriptor I've seen is "skinny." Hell, it's even a body type on Grindr; the size below "average."

So it kind of functions as a code word in the gay community: anyone can say that they're only interested in twinks and they don't have to look shallow by saying they only like skinny guys. It's such an accepted attitude that no one really bats an eye when they hear it.

I'm not even going to get into how it's become part of the larger issue of people turning "top" and "bottom" into gender roles 2.0, but that is closely related, because people with any internalized homophobia can look at a skinny, feminine man and turn off their fag alarms by viewing him as a woman or not a "real" man, and it makes twinks more acceptable to society at large.

No, ignoring all of that, one of the biggest issues is that gay men are taught by society that they are only attractive while they are skinny. Just having the label "twink" reminds a boy that people are looking at his body and judging it. There were countless times when I was growing up that people would tell me, "You're such a twink," or argue about whether or not I qualified as a twink because I had body hair. People around you, unpromted, judge your body and give you a label based on it, and that label has a large influence on whether or not you're seen as objectively attractive. I know many other gay people who say they wish they were a twink so they could be more attractive to guys.

So think, you have all these kids growing up being told whether or not they qualify as a twink, and then we have the gay community as a whole where it's completely acceptable to say you're only attracted to twinks. I think its because of all of this pressure to be a twink (in other words, to have a below average weight) that many of the gay people that I interact with struggle with a negative body image or eating disorders.

I mean, people talk about "twink death" like it's an actual event that makes a gay man much less attractive, and no one thinks that, maybe, it's harmful to tell a guy that the very day he stops being young and thin and pretty, he will stop being attractive and celebrated?

I'm not qualified to speak on fatphobia in physical queer spaces because I don't have the ability to frequent them where I live, but I can't imagine that these aren't issues at social gatherings as well. I also can't speak on my own experiences with weight discrimination because so far in my life I have had a naturally thin body, but I have experienced a lot of outside pressure to be thin that have caused me to pick up unhealthy eating habits to reduce my weight in fear that I could become fat later on. Thankfully that is something that I've mostly been able to work past. I'm not an expert, but idk, I just wanted to rant on my silly tumblr blog.

Obviously it's impossible for a word to be inherently bad. I'm not trying to imply that saying "twink" is a magic word with evil powers. Obviously the real issues at play here are fatphobia and harmful beauty standards and body shaming. But in my opinion, the popular use of the word twink has made it much easier and acceptable to express fatphobia, etc, in the gay community by turning "skinny person" into a "type of guy that you should try to be so you can be attractive."

[askgothamshitty]

And I forgot to add that when I think of being in a lesbian relationship it feels so liberating, I was on Twitter and I somehow came across these beautiful lesbian couples, the way there was no (or barely any) centering around men, the way they talked about their femmes and butches so lovingly (hope im using this properly). The way they call their butches their bfs or that there are he/him lesbians and also their politics and the way they challenge a lot of heteronormativity is so beautiful to me. I never got triggered once (maybe out of a bit of jealousy bc I want that for me now in 2025) but I never felt angry seeing them, never felt bad or upset or like I had to cry in a negative way, with the way I feel when I see the way straight men and women speak about relationships and sex (it sounds like literal slavery 😭). Even when I think about romantic relationships with men in my mind when I have to cope I rarely feel this happy. I have had plenty of crushes on IRL women but only few on men and mostly were fictional (I know this doesn’t dictate anything but I am just trying to rationalize here). I guess this is really hard on me bc I have spent so long (currently it’s not that bad but I still mourn for my youth and childhood back) caring about femininity, beauty standards, comparing myself to other women, subconsciously competing with other women for male approval and attention, dealing with my hatred for my appearance bc of desirability, having struggles with my interests bc I didn’t think any man would want me due to them bc they may not be “lady like”. Ofc I don’t struggle with these thoughts much now but they still come when I start getting triggered, when I see male obsessed people (especially women as it confirms to me in my subconscious that this is what I SHOULD be like and not whatever tf I have going on now) and when I to see or experience misogynistic and heteronormativity propaganda in my life. But now I’m about to throw that all away, it genuinely feels like a major death in my family like I’m shedding a part of me tht was a huge factor of my life. A part of me that was ingrained into me that, “this” is what womanhood is. It’s a death in a good and way, like yay for no longer doing those things for men and their approval but I guess I’m upset bc I spent a lot of those years ESPECIALLY my childhood/teenage years performing for men and the patriarchy and acting in a shitty play but now the show is over. Ofc I will still have to continue to unlearn my internalized misogyny but I guess that’s something I’m so afraid of. It sounds so nice but the unknown…I know it will make me happy and will release so much guilt and pressure that I have been feeling (I literally used to identify as asexual that never ever wanted to have sex at all, that’s how bad it was) . But now it’s just overcoming that fear of letting go completely and being my authentic self I was meant to be and that scares me if I’m being so honest bc this misogynistic male obsessed society is all I know…

Yes butchfemme culture is so beautiful! It’s so underrepresented though, most people (even queer people) don’t know about it. But it can be freeing to see it as a lesbian and realize what kinds of relationships are possible!

So much of what you’re saying lines up with compulsory heterosexuality. All women are primed to become men’s wives; it’s like their path is life is predetermined. So when lesbians start to discover themselves, it can be pretty earth-shattering to say the least. That’s what makes coming out such a transformative process. Again, you are not alone! Once you talk to other lesbians, especially lesbian feminists, you’ll be shocked to see how so many will use almost the same words verbatim to describe their lives.

I’m so happy that you are starting this journey ❤️

[10-days-of-freakin-olives]

I have a lot of thoughts about "rainbow capitalism" and companies selling Pride merch that also fund anti-LGBTQ+ action and canaries in coal mines and the state of online discourse and all that but I'm sick and groggy and this isn't a political blog so I'm just gonna...not? It's not a clear-cut issue to me, in any case. But there is something that I've run across a few times that I do have a clear-cut opinion on, and that's queer youth and the online community.

When people say someone is "too online" or that they need to go outside and talk to "IRL" queer people (like the people in this internet junkyard aren't also people IRL), I wanna beg you to remember that not everyone can do that.

Not everyone is in a position to safely mingle. Not everyone has a Pride event or a queer-friendly space or a safe home life to express their queerness in. Online queer communities are sometimes the only lifeline people have, even in supposedly "free" countries.

You can argue someone's take on an issue, you can disagree on the best way to counteract anti-queer rhetoric and violence, you can avoid the discourse altogether, but you don't get to tell "perpetually online" queer people that their spaces are somehow not legitimate spaces for them to feel comfortable or safe in when those are often the only spaces they have.

Yes, this is a flawed community - so is the offline queer community. That's what happens when you get diverse, intersectional groups of people together with their own stories and lives and opinions. And hey, fun fact? The online queer community is still part of the queer community when they're offline, too - they just often don't have the benefit of being able to enjoy that. We're all just here, queer, and full of fear, whether "here" is the local gay bar or the wlw tag on Tumblr.

The internet is where I first learned the words for who I am that my offline life lacked, even growing up in an incredibly progressive family. It's often the only place queer people - queer kids especially - have where they can feel like themselves. It can save lives.

Maybe instead of responding to online queer discourse with "you're too young and online to know what the truth is, get off tumblr and go talk to some IRL queer folk", you could try not making queer people with no other safe space feel ostracized from their own community. What good does isolating our own people do?

If the choice is between some of our community being among their own in the only place they have and being left behind and feeling alone in a world that's steadily growing more and more hostile towards them, I know which option I'd pick.

"Perpetually online" queer kids expressing an opinion you don't agree with - even one that could be wrong or harmful - isn't "embarrassing", it's an opportunity to be the elder for a change and provide guidance and resources, or possibly even shutting up and listening to them for half a second to see where they're coming from. Maybe they aren't the ones that need to grow the fuck up. Maybe you're the one whose opinion is flawed or harmful or just straight-up bullshit.

Try empathy, I hear it's one of those building blocks of a healthy, cooperative, compassionate society or something.

Anyway, back to being too sick and too exhausted to be argumentative. If you wanna fight me and you think I'm ignoring you, just know I'm too busy hurling my guts up to know you exist.

Happy Pride.

[uncanny-tranny]

Hey, I'm currently 26 and only discovered my trans/nonbinaryness earlier this year. I feel like I'm "too late" in discovering my queerness to experience the joy of it. When I look at youth queer folk, I am very happy to see them experiencing the joy I didn't had in my teenage years. But at the same time, I'm sad for myself. Is there a possibility to experience trans/queer joy even if you're too late?

YES

You are twenty-six, in the grand scheme of things, you also have all the time in the world! Sure, many people discover their identity "young", but that by no means indicates that there is a "right" time for you to discover yourself.

In fact, people who discover themselves later in life than others are inspiring. It proves that happiness can be found at any age - that there truly isn't a rule book. You aren't by any means doing anything wrong. If you want to transition, you're also not too late to do that, either! You can do whatever you want forever.

I know it's tempting to feel grief over the life you didn't have when you were younger. Take all the time you need to feel that - get all of those feelings out. But you have a lifetime left of queer and trans joy left to experience. You don't lose out on the ability to experience that simply because your path is different. You deserve happiness, peace, and comfort. Please don't deny yourself that.

[rainbowsky]

Hallo Rainbow, thank you for your blog, it´s so interesting, entertaining and informative!Since DD has now become shareholder of YH, I´m wondering if that reduces the chances him of ever coming out or get at least bolder to share the same stage again? Like now he will feel even more responsible not only for co workers on a project but for a whole business company. Of course I´m happy for him and his massive success which really is beyond imagination but my turtle heart feels a bit torn...

Hi Didiber! Thanks so much, I'm glad you're enjoying my blog! 😊

A couple things come to mind when I read this...

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

My thoughts regarding DD and YH.

My thoughts regarding fan reactions to career and life decisions GG and DD make.

I'll start with #1. I don't think the pressure level has changed for DD. He's been carrying a lot of responsibility at Yuehua for years as the top earner there. Just because the company is now listed on the stock exchange, that's not going to really make that big of a difference to DD's activities.

The real pressure will come upon those who are in charge at Yuehua, and especially on those in charge of finding new talent that can match some of DD's earning capability.

It's been said that DD will be helping with the new talent to some degree, but ultimately it's not his burden to bear, it's the company's. Yuehua has stated they intend to use most of the capital they raised through this IPO to work on finding and developing new talent, so hopefully they'll have some success with that.

As for DD coming out, being seen on the same stage as GG, etc., the likelihood of those things happening hasn't changed at all. As I've said many times, any top star represents the work product of dozens of people. Their fortunes are deeply tied to the fortunes of the employees, brands, drama projects, management teams, etc. etc. etc. they work with. They aren't at liberty to make choices 'just for them', they have to consider all the other people and entities that will be impacted.

And that's not just on a personal level, that's on a business/legal level as well. In many cases there will be liability if they do something seriously damaging to their own image (and by extension, the image of the brand/project/entity affected). Just watch what happens when a star is canceled in China. They end up being held liable for lost revenue of some of the projects they've been a part of. That's actually government policy now - to hold stars directly accountable for the impact of their 'bad behavior'.

Is being queer 'bad behavior' that could be punished in this way? Well, the government has definitely been tightening the noose on the LGBTQ community in recent years, so it's possible, especially if GGDD's coming out became a political issue in China, or sparked a political movement of any kind - which it might - or if it was deemed to be 'a bad influence on the youth' - which it probably would, given the homophobia of this government and their emphasis on pressuring people to enter straight marriages and have children.

Even without government policy being a factor, most major entertainment contracts include clauses about this type of thing. Not just management contracts but also project contracts, brand endorsement contracts, etc. etc.

All of these factors are at play regardless of whether Yuehua is listed on the stock exchange or not. It doesn't really change a thing.

As for #2...

Disclaimer: Every fan is free to make their own choices about how to be a fan. I talk about my own feelings and perspectives but ultimately they're just my opinions. I feel strongly that everyone needs to think for themselves and form their own ideas.

I feel dismay whenever I see turtles - or really any fan - get upset about the career moves or decisions GG and DD make. In my view GG and DD should always do what's best for them and their lives and careers. Full stop.

And they are the only people qualified to make those decisions. Fans have no actual clue, and in almost all cases they don't have even passing experience/knowledge in one of the areas affecting these choices, let alone all of the complex factors that go into a choice at the level GG and DD are operating on.

GG and DD are surrounded by entire teams of experts whose only job is to consult with them and give them the best possible information on all the angles and factors that go into any decision. Legal experts, management teams, financial advisors no doubt, professional insiders, close family and friends, etc. etc. People who know the details of GG and DD's situations and goals and are uniquely qualified personally or professionally to support them in choosing what's best for them.

Any decision GG and DD make reflects what they feel is their best option given all the factors at play.

Therefore as a fan I personally choose to respect and support whatever direction GG and DD choose to go in. It's not my business to decide what's best for GG and DD, nor do I generally allow myself to view their choices through the lens of my own personal wishes or cravings. They don't owe me anything.

Especially when it comes to their personal lives, because I think it's extremely important for turtles to remember that GG and DD's relationship and their choices about whether to be out as queer are part of their personal lives. It's not work product, nor anything we have any reasonable stake in as fans.

I can wish GG would record a full album and do more live singing performances (and I do), but the fact that he hasn't done so tells me that it's not an option for him given the factors currently at play in his career. So I accept and respect that I will have to wait on that, and that it might never happen.

And as turtles we might fantasize about them being able to live openly and freely one day, about them coming out and getting married or whatever turtles daydream about, but ultimately those are very personal decisions that only they can make. If something in their career seems to lead further away from that ever happening we should remember that those are fantasies anyway, and in no way reflect GG and DD's reality.

All this to say, I hope we can all just celebrate and support GG and DD's careers. What they choose to do, what they choose to show us and where they are at right now rather than what we personally want to see happen.

I believe in GG and DD, and in their ability to know what's best for them.

I want what's best for them.

The equation couldn't possibly be simpler.

I leave it all in their capable hands.

To be clear: I'm not trying to paint anyone who laments certain impossibilities as selfish jerks. What I'm trying to do is to encourage us all to look at things from a different angle - one that will hopefully make us all happier, calmer and more stable as fans, and will make it easier for us to support and accept GG and DD's choices.

[spinnenpfote6]

Regarding your author's note I think it's actually a good way to let ppl know that you are able to make them enjoy stuff they otherwise wouldn't! I've had a few comments on my video edits about the (infamous) Star Wars sequels saying that while they didn't like the movies they *did* like my edits. There were a few discussions about these types of comments on Tumblr that they might be considered kinda rude in disguise but I took them as a compliment because my skills made them look at the movies (or parts of them) a different way that was able to make them happy.

But I know what you mean! I love Frodo (obviously lol) and would love to see more Frodo x OC/Frodo x Reader but most of it is Sam x Frodo, though I have found a VERY good Frodo x OC story on AO3 ("Left The Tenderness Of Tears" by Lurea, for those who wanna know).

My best guess is that fandoms in general lean heavily on shipping and we already have an established emotional connection featuring lots of tender moments in both the movies and the books between Frodo and Sam that everybody loves. The LOTR fandom has LOTS of queer fans who see themselves in the characters where I believe the ambiguity of their relationship even fuels it instead of calming it down (what is something some would expect instead) because it's normalizing to the platonic/non-sex love parts of a gay relationship. It would be a perfect tragic love story which people simply want more of - even if the fandom has spawned some weirdly black and white corners where there's either extreme homophobic hatred for SamFro shippers OR extreme hatred for Sam/Rosie/OC or Frodo/OC shippers where the mere idea that the hobbit boys could be straight or bi/pan is simply outrageous, even if it makes total sense for Sam in canon. Much of the fandom seems to actively try to fight all the "heteronormative stuff" and while that can be good, they sometimes go overboard with it, so there's no place for Frodo x female OC for such an "obviously gay" character and it's probably also the reason Rosie isn't too much of a beloved character (not that she's hated, she just seems overlooked and more of a stepping stone or even replacement for Sam in order to get to his "true love" Frodo. Some believe she was just shoehorned into the story because of the 1900's homophobia and/or Tolkien's Christianity).

As for Frodo x OC, the fan fictions we've mentioned have female OC's where I think Frodo's personality and role come into play. The books and especially the movies establish him as a soft and more quiet and less obvious hero - someone who cries, has weak moments, fights very little and has to be saved a lot by his friends. He seems cozy and innocent, more childlike (more so in the movies but ya know) than the other heroes and his small size, huge hairy feet and Elijah Wood's youthful cutesy face with the big blue eyes certainly add to the feeling of character who is coddled and taken care of like a child or adorable fantasy creature (even in the books other characters are constantly like "OMG you little funny guys are so cute haha", despite the hobbits being grown men - well, except for Pippin). This is a stark contrast to the female fan's most popular men, Aragorn and Legolas, who are badass manly fighters whose friends are their equal. Even if they have soft and lovely moments they still fit the women's fantasy of a strong man who can protect them, while Frodo is less the type of guy to draw his sword and throw himself into carnage. He *is* good-looking, but more in a pretty, cute way and Aragorn's good-looking in a hot, handsome way, and especially since elves like Legolas are considered more traditionally appealing than hobbits (Frodo is often seen as a sort of 50-y/o rich, stoned farmer who lives in a teletubby house and just eats and writes all day) - even if most of us find hobbits more relateable lol. In theory you'd have less hot and cool adventures with Frodo n' his hobbit gang than with other LOTR characters. So people - especially straight women - are less likely to ship themselves with Frodo aka a hobbit by default and therefore do not seek out these types of stories while all the queer folks look for the cute SamFro content. (Not to mention that Frodo is more often overlooked than you'd think of the main character because he's so quiet and misunderstood)

Additionally I think many fans believe that Frodo staying in the Shire somehow undermines LOTR's main message and purpose, as in him getting a happy ending at home makes it seem like his trauma and wounds have no real consequences (since him leaving for Valinor is a big thing), even if the "Happy Ending In The Shire"-trope is popular, and the SamFro fan stuff at least has them sharing their mutual trauma and therefore aftermath of the journey. With Frodo - if you go by canon - you are somewhat bound to have your fanfiction contain heavy themes like PTSD in a homely place like the Shire and if it's not SamFro that's unappealing to many fans because they are just not interested. With an OC you don't know what to expect and, well, you simply have no audience even if the small number of people who like it absolutely love it.

(I actually found myself to have 2 reasons why I as a woman like to ship myself (or my OC) with Frodo - aside from the fact that I love the character and find Elijah Wood incredibly cute. One, I think his quiet-observing, introverted and sensitive is very much like mine and I like to see myself in him and two, with my history of chronic illness I can get some catharsis out of imagining myself as the caretaker while Frodo is the one suffering. Idk, it seems like I have a general interest in more niche and heavy topics lol)

Now I realize I still have to read your story haha. But your discussion about why the LOTR fandom seems to be so allergic to Frodo x (female) OC caught my attention because it's SO true! They're hard to find on AO3 and I wish the fandom had a bigger space for it!

(Btw with this post I'm not trying to be mean towards SamFro or queer LOTR shippers in general - or Aragorn/Legolas girls - all that was just my observation of how the shipping stuff in the fandom works^^. I very much appreciate the soft sweet queer and Stan-The-Strong-Hot-Guy content! It makes total sense! But c'mon, we should give Frodo some more of our own love as well!)

You know what's interesting?

I may have posted about this before, but the literal number one piece of feedback I get about The Flowers of Mordor is "I was skeptical about the premise, but now I'm sold!"

Which is great. It means something good about my writing - that I've been able to tell the story in a convincing way, that the characters acted in believable ways, and won the reader's hearts.

What I still don't understand, however, is why the premise seems to go SO much against the grain.

After all, I can't be the only person who wishes Frodo could have healed in the Shire. I can't be the only person who wants to ship themselves with Frodo. (Let's face it, canon/OC is sometimes, though not always, a vehicle for self-shipping, and that's totally fine! Fandom is all about wish fulfillment, and I am all for it.) In the end, I can't be the only person to wish Frodo could have found his happy ending with someone else besides Sam-maybe-eventually-in-Valinor. (Yes, sharing Sam or a poly arrangement is an option, and so is Rosie-as-a-beard, and so is erasing Rosie, but none of those approaches have felt satisfying to me, and again, I can't be the only one who holds this opinion).

Yes, I get that Frodo/FOC is not canon, but canon/OC rarely ever is. (And yes, I know I've made a fuss before about how Marigold is not an OC, but she is quite similar to an OC: she is mentioned briefly in canon, but all of her character development in FOM is my own).

Also, there are many non-canon premises that people absolutely go wild for, such as Boromir lives, or Thorin lives, or even Boromir and Theodred, so why exactly is it so difficult to see Frodo with an OC? It's been done with almost every other character, even ones who have canonical partners.

I mean, yes, to begin with, Frodo is positioned in canon as a confirmed bachelor, and Samfro is a very popular ship. But at the same time, Sam and Frodo are written and portrayed ambiguously enough that there is room for interpretation. They could be lovers, there could be unrequited pining, it could be one-sided on either of their parts, or they could be good friends. All of those things are possible. And similarly, Frodo could be a confirmed bachelor for a number of reasons: perhaps he is asexual or gay, or he is too much of an oddball, or he had a relationship that didn't work out, or it's the Ring's doing, or he senses he will someday follow in Bilbo's footsteps and is reluctant to put down roots. All of those things are possible.

So I have to wonder: maybe Frodo/OC or Frodo/someone besides Sam is not the most common ship, but why exactly is it such a hard sell? I just don't see it.

In fact, Flowers of Mordor is in part written for much-younger me, who first encountered the books and movies and genuinely wondered whether things could have been different if Frodo had found a nice hobbit lass to love.

Granted, at that age I was probably too young to understand the import of Frodo's burden, and the scars it left behind. Today, I understand that the ending was tragic but necessary, but a part of that hopeless romantic remains: I wish it could have been different. I wish Frodo could have found love. I wish that love could have conquered all. And as I said before, isn't fanfiction all about wish fulfillment?