#I drink caffeine
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PSA: i keep seeing posts about staying cool in extreme heat that include advice like "gatorade is bad actually!" and "don't drink fruit juice it'll just dehydrate you!" and neither of these are true!
regarding fruit juice: there's apparently a misconception that Any Sugar At All will dehydrate you, and that's simply not true. yes, sugar will make you pee more when consumed in large amounts, but 1) the natural sugar in fruits won't do this to you 2) great news! a lot of fruit juices exist without any added sugar in them! 3) honestly even having a glass of the fruit juice with added sugar won't completely dehydrate you as long as you're also drinking water throughout the day. if its hot you deserve a cold treat of a drink!!! can't go wrong with fruit juice!!!
regarding gatorade: maybe this isn't an every day drink, but guess what: if it's 110F/40C or hotter outside, and you don't have AC, or you're moving around a lot outside of the AC, and you're sweating buckets: that's when you drink a gatorade.
gatorade exists to replenish all the electrolytes (salt) and glucose (sugar) that you sweat out. YES it is meant for athletes to drink during intensive work outs and not necessarily for people who aren't doing that kind of exercise. BUT GUESS WHAT! when you're sweating buckets because you had to walk to the bus in extreme heat, that's intensive exercise. please feel free to drink a gatorade after that! that's its intended use case!!!!
no: neither of these drinks should be a total replacement for water. but drinking a lot of water and then treating yourself to a fruit juice with lunch is a good idea!!! drinking a gatorade becuase you just had to walk for 20 minutes in the heat is a good idea!!!
Please Stop Spreading Misinformation About Drinks!!! It's fine if you drink things that aren't water!!!! Yes you should probably always be drinking water but drinking something else As Well isn't going to hurt you!!!! okay!!!! its fine!!!!!!
honestly so long as you are consistently getting Any (non-alcoholic) fluids in you, you're doing great!!!!!! okay!!!! i love you stay safe <3
#also: drinking A Soda or A Coffee isn't going to completely dehydrate you if you're drinking other fluids tbqh!!!#its fine!!!!! its fine!!!!!#drinks#heat#dehydration#this post exists because i'm mad at misinfo but also#this is for my homies who hate the taste of water and struggle to stay hydrated#because people have told them over and over again You Must Absolute Drink Water And Nothing Else and so they just don't drink anything#listen!! hey!!! whoever told you that was lying!!!!#drinking Any Fluids At All (yes even with caffeine!!) is better than Not Drinking Anything#please hydrate!!!! it's okay if that hydration isn't water!!!!#honestly i tried to be extremely non confrontational in this post but im pretty sure i've seen people suggest flavored water packets#but say no fruit juice ever. and that's insane.#it's all fluids baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#so long as you are drinking fluids you are combatting dehydration#YES water is the best option HOWEVER. if you drink things that aren't water that's also okay! i promise!!!!!!!!
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It's always graveyards. Why is it always graveyards? They're creepy as hell and, well... that's it. On the bright side, the Protection Spirits watching the gates recognize him and realize the danger he's in. Well, maybe he wasn't in real danger because the Bats and Birds don't really do the whole purposefully harming civilians things, but they are scary as hell! Chasing him down like a bat straight outta hell- obviously he was gonna run! They cornered him! Maybe he'll invest in getting them lessons in how to interact with people in and out of costume?
Honestly, Nightwing, Danny expected better of you. At least Red Hood and Signal know how to treat innocents.
Here's the thing about Protection and Guardian Spirits, though. They don't like intruders. If you're running from something and you don't have time to ask permission to enter, you best say "thank you" and bring them shiny things on your next visit. If you do have time to ask permission, you ask permission. If they think you're a threat or rude, they won't let you enter whatever they're guarding.
"Thank you," Danny said as he slowed to a walk further into the graveyard, the sound of the gates slamming closed behind him confirmation that the Bat and his gaggle wouldn't be following him in.
Wasting no time, Danny pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. It was a handy little thing he'd picked up during his stay in the House of Mysteries. Draw and door, tell it where you wanna go, open it, and go through! Beetlejuice style. Though, unlike what the Handbook for the Recently Deceased says, these doors won't actually open a door to the afterlife. He fixed that tiny glitch a while ago.
Anyway, a quick few chalk lines on the side of a mausoleum later, and Danny was opening a door to Fawcett, Philadelphia. Probably not the best choice, considering that he was trying to stay away from the Justice League, but it's better than Metropolis.
"Whoa." Damn it! He should've stayed home. "What was that, mister?"
Danny made sure the door closed behind him, praying for strength. Why did he feel like several deities were laughing at him? "Hey, kid. Can you, um, maybe not say anything about that?"
The kid, short brown hair and a red jacket stood out the most to Danny for some reason, seemed very amused. "You're gonna have to buy my silence."
Again, Danny let out a quiet, long suffering sigh. "Coffee is so not worth it." Looking at the kid, he said, "Alright, fine. I was getting coffee anyway, I'll buy ya lunch. Know any good places?"
Grinning, the kid cheered, "Hell yeah! Follow me!"
Resigned, Danny followed after the kid, easily keeping pace. About a block later, he figured he should probably get the kid's name. "I'm Danny."
"Billy."
"No last name?"
"Fae rules, dude. What's your excuse?"
He had to give it to him. "Touché."
Another three blocks of walking, Billy finally stopped at a cafe. It was a quaint place with stained white brick and a dark grey roof. There were metal chairs and tables outside the building surrounded by a wrought iron fence. The table umbrellas and the awning over the black door were light blue, matching the curtains in the inside.
The inside walls were painted baby blue with a white ceiling and a pinewood floor. The tables and chairs were all stained black with light pink cushions and table cloths. The curtains, as observed before, were all baby blue, tied back with baby pink ribbons. The lights were barely yellow, giving the room a warm feel. The counters were white with black paneling on the outside and white granite as the tops.
"Welcome in," the young man at the register greeted with a smile, "What can I get you two started with today?"
Danny envied the man. He'd obviously not been doing this long enough to gain the veteran's shine to his eye. He turned to look at the menu after telling Billy to get whatever he wanted. A mistake he'll probably pay for. "I'd like a large Red Eye, equal parts coffee and espresso, with cinnamon, honey, chocolate syrup, mint, and vodka, please."
The 'newbie' light in the man's eyes dimmed a little bit. "Um, we don't carry vodka." Glad that's the only thing he's worried about. Priorities.
Danny clicked his tongue. "Oh, well, it was worth a shot. I'd like everything else, though, please. Mix it at your own discretion."
"Alright," he was very valiant to go back to grinning, "Anything else?"
Danny motioned for Billy and the kid stepped up. "Can I get a large mocha, three chocolate chip cookies, and two sandwiches?"
The blond entered the order. "Of course! That'll be $25.37." A quick card swipe from Danny. "Thank you very much, we'll have your order out to you soon!"
The two didn't say a word as they chose a table in the corner. Danny let Billy take the seat that was open to the rest of the cafe so he wouldn't feel cornered. He had a good view of the door, though, so he wasn't complaining.
"So, how'd you do that?" Billy asked after they'd gotten their orders.
"How'd I do what?" Danny sipped his drink.
"How'd you walk outta that wall? It's solid!"
"Magic."
"I guessed that much."
"Then why'd you ask?"
"Will you teach me?"
"No."
"You didn't even think about it!"
"Okay," He paused. "No."
"Not fair." he pouted.
Putting his drink on the table, Danny summed as much fake-it-till-you-make-it energy as he could. "Magic isn't a toy and takes years of practice to get a handle on, not to mention you have to actually have an aptitude for it before you can even try. Besides, I don't know you nearly well enough to trust you with anything else."
Billy finished the cookie he was eating. "I can do it! You just gotta teach me!"
Another sigh that Danny had stopped counting. "Look, you seem like a good kid, but I'm not gonna teach you magic."
"Why not!"
"However," he continued, ignoring the demand, "I'm not gonna leave ya fully defenselessness."
"What do you mean?" Billy backed away slightly, his eyes narrowing as he moved to be able to run quickly.
Another sip. "Based off of the dirt you're covered in, the grease in your hair, and the overall poor condition of your clothes, I'm gonna bet that you're a street kid. So," he pulled a small card from his pocket, very aware that Billy was watching his hand aptly, "I'm going to leave you with this."
Slowly, the brunet took it and turned it over. "What it is?"
The white card had the initials DP in the middle, circled by an Ouroboros. The initials were completely solid, but the snake of the Ouroboros was made up of tiny runes of protection and health and healing and good fortune.
"My calling card. If you're ever in danger, hold that to your chest and ask for help. I'll be there."
Still obviously suspicious, Billy took a moment to scrutinize the card. It was cute to watch the kid act like he knew what he was looking at or for. When he seemed satisfied, he shoved the card into the inner pocket sewn into his jacket. "Thanks."
"No problem, kid," Pulling out his phone, Danny saw the time and stood, "I've gotta go now. I assume I've sufficiently bought your silence on the whole magic thing?"
Billy grinned, "I guess, but you gotta come visit me, okay?"
He chuckled, "Sure thing. See ya."
Part 2 Part 4
(I don't drink coffee, so Idk how that shit works)
Tag list: @zaiothe4th
#dp dc crossover#dc x dp#dc x dp crossover#dp x dc#danny phantom#dc comics#dcu#dc#billy batson#shazam#ghost king danny#magic#coffee#cafe#I don't drink coffee#I don't even go to cafes#Idk if that's how it works#it is now#in this economy?#Hopefully#protection sigil#I made that up on the spot with very little research#If anyone draws it please tag me#Do we like where this is going?#part 3#Enough Caffeine to Kill an Elephant
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#this is a call out post directed at myself for being fucking stupid lol#for months I’ve been like aw man my brain just shuts down after like 12 pm and idk why#can’t focus on anything feel borderline sick and jittery like 12-5 is always just rough#it used to be kind of a passing thing but since the start of January its been noticeably more severe#:|#it JUST SO HAPPENS TO COINCIDE with the fact my adderall prescription went from 20 to 30 mg#and do you know what I do all morning. like. like ALL MORNING#I drink caffeine#not just like. a cup of coffee. oh no.#I drink 12-20 shots of espresso depending on my mood#and to cut out the empty calories back in January I switched to sugar free energy drinks!!#four! FOUR! sixteen ounce cans of sugar free monster energy drinks a day before noon#that’s like six hundred mg of caffeine!#and I then switched to C4 bc they’re cheaper but they have!!! 200 mg of caffeine a cup!!!#add all this to my body getting used to 30 mg of adderall and no fuckin duh my brain short circuits#I decided to test this out by making my own lattes at home today bc I feel like they’re not as strong#and it’s like 2-3 shots per latte#and guess what!!! I feel fine!!! my brain is great!!!#im literally so dumb lol. said with affection#my intense desire for caffeine to wake me up literally makes my brain short circuit every day and my response was “guess that’s life#i mean jfc#but what a great thing to discover lol#finally my brain will be able to function all day without a debilitating caffeine buzz 😂💀
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Drink's on me.
#or Come here often? :ppp#Girl thinks this is a coffeeshop AU 😔🤨 lmao They've been dating for like. over 4 years now#Flirting by ironically flirting👌#Pumpkin Spice Latte#Sweater weather. Sweeter whether. 🍁☕🎃🍂#I wanted to pull an all nighter but I actually feel sleepier after drinking energy drink 😬 The sugar overpowered the caffeine maybe? 🤷♀️#So much I want to do and draw. (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ So little time. _(:‚l」∠)_.#connverse#SU#my shiz#Steven Universe#skedoobles#Steven Quartz Universe#Connie Maheswaran#I can't believe it's already November
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Please ignore if this is too personal but IIRC you were/are dealing with caffeine addiction? I hope you're doing Ok, as a former addict I know how hard it is so wishing you the best xx
thank you for checking in!!
i'm doing very well!! i haven't cut out coffee completely bc i really don't think i can (it's been one of my daily pleasures for SO long), but right now i only have 1-2 espresso shots and i don't even have it every day anymore
also remembering that i used to have 4-6 shots per drink, sometimes multiple times a day, makes me want to throw up now which is probably a good sign ajkdhdsh
#ramble#tw addiction#i've always felt weird calling it an addiction bc like. it was just coffee and it feels like bastardising a little bit#but i mean it was a habit i couldn't live without and it was making my life actively worse so i feel like it qualifies#the fact that someone checks in on me every couple of months is very sweet :'))#if you're asking how i was like. ok. during the worst of it#amazing question. i was NOT#as someone who already has digestive issues idk why the fuck i did that to myself sjhdhdsh#i'm starting my job soon and i'm a bit worried it's going to get bad again so if it does i'll switch fully to decaf#it's not even about the energy i just like having a fun little drink in the middle of the day#so if i have to stop having caffeine completely it shouldn't be that bad#as long as i have my syrups and my milk frother i'll be grand
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reposting this thing i posted on my deleted acc a while ago
#riddle rosehearts#twst#twst fanart#twisted wonderland#disney twst#i still believe riddle has a very low caffeine tolerance and would die if he was ever given an energy drink#idia probably gave him one once and they had to chase him around the school to capture him before he can run around octavinelle for 6 hours
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could we get a coffee vs tea kinsey scale poll just for funnies :)
#i don't really like hot tea i'll always take a hot latte over hot tea#but iced.... i do enjoy an iced tea drink. probably a little more than coffee#polls#submitted#coffee#tea#kinsey scale#drink#caffeine
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I fucking hate being into GT sometimes, I just wanted to think about my OCs drinking coffee together, which led to me thinking "Oh could the tiny even drink the coffee or would that amount of caffeine kill them?" Which has forced me to learn math i did not want to learn in the first place and also about cubes and shit? Somehow also velocity????? This is bullshit I've decided they can drink the coffee I'm not learning all that
#giant/tiny#g/t#giant tiny#gt thoughts#its fucking stupid#i just wanted to find out hoe much caffeine it would take to kill someone who is tiny or if caffeine intske wpuld remajn the same#im too stupid for this shit#ive decided they can judt drink the coffee and ignore the actual facts becsuse i do it abyways with gt
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THE HAWKS COFFEE IS FUCKING REAL?!?!?!?!?!
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doodles of some cool people’s very cool ocs :)
@furious-blueberry0’s baheera lee, @spicynectarines’ twins mar and cad, @heart-of-a-rebel16’s ash’i, @dragon-subway’s fen, @maulfucker’s verred ghalla, and @ivvmell’s ai’shyat!!
#sorry to ambush you all lol. i had one (1) caffeinated drink and drew for five hours straight#and then i forgot to post them for three days#star wars#star wars ocs#sw ocs#jedi oc#others ocs#star wars oc#sw oc
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POV: Strauss sends the BAU to see a doctor about their caffeine consumption
Doctor *professionally concerned*: i highly recommend keeping track of your caffeine intake so that you can see just how much you are ingesting
*back at work*
Penelope *finishing her energy tea”: how many are you at?
Derek *scrawling numbers on a notepad*: im about to go for my fourth coffee before i take lunch
Penelope: oh i am totally winning this thing! *refills her largest mug again*
part 2/?
#chaoticbau#insanity runs in this family#yes i think pen would drink extra caffeinated tea instead of coffee#it’s a competition and she’s winning#penelope garcia#derek morgan#criminal minds#incorrect criminal minds#incorrect criminal minds quotes#cm#incorrect cm#emily prentiss#jennifer jareau#jemily#spencer reid
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(via GIPHY)
#giphy#coffee#cafe#mondays#kaffee#garfield#national coffee day#happy coffee day#coffee please#i need coffee#coffee day#feliz lunes#tuesday coffee#cat#drink#tired#sleepy#caffeine#exhausted#wakeup#chug#mornings#national garfield the cat day
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unfortunate but this guy Understands caffeine dependency 😐
#i joke all the time that monstrous regiment sowed the seeds of my personal caffeine dependency but every time he brings it up#i mean pratchett and not vimes but vimes also gets it#the love that guy has for standing on street corners in the rain with a hot drink and a smoke and ur hat pulled down over ur ears.....#discworld#thud!#sam vimes
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chronic tea drinker bella
#bella swan#twilight saga#twilight#bella twilight#guys i truly believe she would be drowning in tea#and everyone would be concerned because the water intake was low#like yes tea is water#but it’s caffeinated#meaning it also dehydrates a little#anyway i know a few people who live solely off of tea and drink almost no plain water and theyre fine soooo#my art
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Ghost of fries and hero of cookies part 6
All work words count: 14 643
Words in this part: 2 686
Summary of whole work: Duke wasn't expecting to wake up from his quick rooftop nap to some meta kid with fries. He also wasn't expecting kid to stay
Or
Danny asked Dani to stay safe while she was in Gotham. Where would she be safer than under the wing of local hero? And he looked like he needed bad day combo anyway
This part summary: Batman wants an explanation. His kids however, wouldn't be themselves if they did add some chaos
Beta read by @audhumla-sailor though English is second language for both of us, so proceed with this in mind. I also know all of the charaters through fics alone, so probably ooc. Stay catious if it's something you don't like
First part, Previous part
“Signal.”
Duke bit back a sigh as his last hope to leave Cave undiscovered disappeared. He shot Steph message of:
Having The Talk. Come as moral support
and turned around to face Bruce.
“Yes?”
B grunted in disapproving and ‘Signal report’ way but Duke decided to buy some time and answer only questions that were actually asked. He slowly sat at the briefing table and looked at the man expectantly.
Lift chimed and moments later Tim and Cass went to Batcomputer and training mats respectively. Duke was, like, 80% sure they were there to eavesdrop. He knew them well enough. He knew them well enough.
“The girl”
“Izzy?” Was Duke annoying on purpose? Yes. He really didn’t want to have this talk. Like, at all. Psychological warfare it was “I mean, I know she is civilian and you don’t approve but at least she isn’t doing anything illegal, right? Like, you know, robbing museums or killing people?”
Bruce looked repulsed and Tim snorted.
“Low blow Narrows, low blow” Jason announced through speakers. He was slightly winded as if he just finished a fight “Good job kid”
“So you’re listening too, great” Duke muttered under his breath before louder he added “Is everyone who wants in on a show, here already?”
“Give me a sec- here Dick you’re going live now”
“Thanks Babs, you’re the best”
“I know. Donuts, you know which one”
“Of course. Glad we’re finally going to talk about Duke’s kid”
“Shut up, she is not my kid!”
“Steph ETA 2 minutes” Cass interrupted.
At least Damian didn’t show up- as if summoned by this thought Damian stomped down the stares, Alfred the Cat curled in his arms. Maybe others had a point, calling him Demon kid and stuff.
“What is an emergency?” he demanded and Duke decided to take what little relief he could from the fact that Bruce seemed equally defeated by sheer number of people around for this talk.
“It seems like… oh, literally everyone lost an adoption bet” Babs explained. Huh, so Steph didn’t change her stance.
Damian looked genuinely terrified as he muttered “No” eyes darting between everyone present in silent calculation.
“Oh, shut up” Duke whined knowing all too well his stalling had to come to the end. Maybe it was wishful thinking but he almost heard roar of engine of Steph’s motorcycle. Her presence would be double edged sword but she would help him advocate for Dani and that was more important.
“Thomas, what have you done?!” if it was anyone other than Damian, Duke would call sound he made a whine. As it was, he preferred his entrails to stay inside and since the boy showed up, called by thought, the older boy preferred not to take risks.
“Nothing, Babs is overreacting”
“Don’t deny it. She went about it kinda Tim Lite style but it worked”
“I don’t even know her surname, where she stays or really, anything about her life outside of our patrols, how do you expect me to go about adoption?!”
“B knew even less about me when he decided, yes this tire thief is my new son!” Jason chimed in and Duke knew he was grinning despite voice modulator.
“What from my origin story was lost to make Lite version?”
“Identities weren't breached as far as we're aware. Just ‘came one day and refuses to leave’ part and some light stalking. She was smart about it, invisible, keeping out of sight and to the hot spots. Wouldn't find her if I didn't know she was there”
“She could still just not tell, I mean I knew for years before telling anyone…”
“There is no way. Believe me, she has no brain-mouth filter, I swear”
“But-”
“She introduced herself by her first name,” Duke deadpanned ”She told me civilian names of heroes from her hometown, in context that didn't require me to do any actual research to clue me. I did anyway. I don't think she even realized she did it. If she knew our identities we would know already”
There was a moment of silence as everyone digested the thought of just how gigantic breach Dani accidentally caused.
“Well, it's as good of a proof as we can get for now,” Babs bristled.
“Who let her in on such secrets then?!” Damian sounded genuinely appalled and Duke wasn't too surprised.
Like on a cue, Steph stormed inside on her Spoiler in civies. Bruce looked about ready to get aneurysm. Duke was a bit glad that everyone was doing such good job in distraction department.
“IT’S OKAY, WHY? BECAUSE I AM HERE!” Steph yelled, jumping from before her vehicle fully stopped. She threw something small in general direction of Batcomputer “Timmy plug it in, I made a PowerPoint!”
Duke felt blood leave his face. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know what Steph put together but he probably didn't. Tim opened it anyways.
WHY HOOPOE IS ADORABLE&CHAOTIC BEAN AND SHOULD BE PART OF THE TEAM
The title slide said, one of the clearest photos of Dani from before she started wearing mask in the background. It was close-up of girl smiling, bits of brownie on her cheeks.
“Was this photo taken with a goddamn calculator?” Tim asked with disgust so clear Duke could taste it. Metaphorically of course.
“Nah, just body-cam. Her powers mess with technology a bit”
Tim still looked displeased at the craftsmanship.
“Don't worry, it's not a bad photo. Baby Bird is just being perfectionist,” Dick placated.
Duke didn't realize that Damian froze until he unfroze and made his way to the screen, stopping less than one foot away from it. His movements were rigid, his face scrunched with distress. Alfred the Cat escaped its master probably due to hoe tense he was. Everyone in Cave quietened as soon as boy took first step and expecting mood had to run through microphones because nobody from the on-line crowd quipped in.
“This is the green of Lazarus” he whispered finally, sounding actually scared. Jason swore. Bruce and Cass visibly stiffened. Tim choked and he wasn't even drinking. Dick did his whinny breezy name saying thing when he wanted explanation and felt lightly betrayed.
It was Duke's turn to freeze because… it wasn't. Of course he wasn't all that well versed in the Pit, less alone its color but he did bust quite a few trafficking rings with Jason and he saw his eyes afterwards all raging, toxic, neon green glory and it wasn't the same as Dani’s. As much as he liked English and how good he was at it, it failed him at simple task of describing the obvious difference between each other. He'd have more luck describing tastes with set of color samples from IKEA or something. And really, even if he tried he would lose the fight of competence with Damian. Who wouldn't. But-
“There is no way she has any connection with LOA”
“Why is that?” Damian seemed to misinterpret it as challenge like he always did when emotions were running high. Duke took a deep breath. Well, it was a moment to use all of his diplomatic skills and speak in the language of the demons.
“I've seen her fight. She would be utter disgrace”
“It does not prove-”
“It does” Duke interrupted with the tone and mimic of person who saw too much because he did ”None of you have any say until you watch a tiny and I mean tiny ten year old tackle five Joker goons like it's a joke, by sheer virtue of super strength and intangibility-means-I-can-ignore-bullets-Signal-don’t-be-such-worrywart. She should get shot, like, three times at least. And she kept laughing!” he was low key wheezing at the end because even after all this time (a week) it was fucking horrifying. Bruce made a huff that meant he was laughing and put a hand on his shoulder as a sign of support. Dick's lighthearted laugh sang from the speakers.
“Don't worry Duke, it never gets better” B said with mirth.
He refused to elaborate whether he meant ‘kids keep jumping into danger like there is no tomorrow‘ or ‘it's equally terrifying every time’ and Duke decided to reflect on that sentiment later. It put some things into perspective. A lot of things if he was being honest.
Also, he was not ready for stuff like that to become even semi-normal occurrence. He was ready to give her all of his Alfred cookies if it could change anything. He knew it wouldn't.
“Do you have any other evidence that your new acquaintance does not just fake being less experienced to make you lower your guard?” Damian asked warily.
“I had to teach her out of putting her thumb in her fist,” he deadpanned. Several people hissed in empathetic pain. Steph coughed to bring attention to where she stood in front of Batcomputer, other slide of her Power Point open. Duke recognised video from his body-cam.
“Exhibit A” she announced. She played a video with Dani’s first mugging attempt he witnessed. Let it be said, it was a disaster.
“Exhibit B '' One of Dani’s most epic fails at side-kick that ended with her falling face first to the ground.
“Exhibit C” Dani fumbled with zip-ties, looking at him utterly at loss.
“Exhibit D” the talk about her prior training.
“What’s was that sound?” Dick obviously on the verge of cooing when girl on video growled. Steph stopped video.
“Very angry kitten” Tim stated with soft smile.
“Honestly, furious girl” Cass corrected “She was really mad at you”
“Yeah, I know but promise of Alfred’s cookies was enough to placate her”
“You gave her Alfred’s cookies?!”
“She started by giving me a lot of food on a really shitty patrol, had to repay somehow”
“Was it from your share or-” Dick asked like it was most important thing in the world.
“Miss Hoopoe was added to my plans after she picked her new name” Alfred explained and shit, Duke really should get used to how man just appeared sometimes. Jumpscare the original.
“Alfred, you knew?” Bruce sounded so utterly betrayed.
“I have yet to meet her but I was informed about her presence about two weeks ago”
“He caught me printing mask for her”
“About that” Steph clapped and skipped her slide show “Look at thi clueless child with such horrible disguises and codename ideas” There was whole list of every name Dani wanted to try out and photo of her bare face. Duke kinda repressed his memories of it. It was worse than he remembered.
“Did she really tried kenting that?”
“Got it after her cousin. He used his first name as part of his alias for almost half a year” Duke admitted in carefree tone, knowing it would cause a mess.
“Cousin?!” several people yelled in surprise.
“Caped cousin?!”
“Yup. Small time hero from Illinois. As far as I’m aware she’s alone in Gotham but they’re in regular contact and she has strong believe that he can and will help her if she used her panic button”
“Who in their right mind let’s kid alone in Gotham?!” Jason sounded about ready to strangle Phantom.
“He seems to be fifteen himself. And has anti-meta parents if I’m picking things up correctly. She didn’t mention them much. I highly doubt she has present parents at all, so…”
“What the hell Narrows.”
“I don’t know, it’s just a wild guess”
“Does it call for the rescue?” Steph asked eagerly.
“We’re not going to Illinois to rescue Phantom if he doesn’t ask for it. He has means to it” Bruce interrupted with bone deep sigh.
“How do you know I meant Phantom?” Duke perked up because he never mentioned this name.
“He is from Illinois, looks almost the same as far as I can tell from the photos and they share a lot of powers”
“I didn’t know you knew about random kid hero from other state?”
“He dropped by on few Justice League’s mission. There is still dispute whether we should approach him in his city or not. He was very clear on his opinion that we should stay away. I think we really shouldn’t”
“How you haven’t gone or sent anyone there yet?” Tim teased.
Bruce just stared at him then gestured at mountain of cases they were currently working on. Yes, they were printed. Apparently for man it made it easier to work on them like that.
“Can we focus back on untrained child you let join you on patrol, Duke?”
“You act like I could stop her from doing her own thing if I didn’t let her. Plus, even though she doesn’t have combat training, she can handle herself well enough. And has this damn intangibility that makes her really hard to punch”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t tell anyone other than Alfred and Steph and I wanted to wait a bit before leaving her to the wolfs”
“The bet”
“Shut up Steph”
“When did you plan on letting us know?” Bruce ignored what blonde insinuated. Duke was utterly grateful for that, he knew he would get lecture for that later but he was more than happy to leave it be for now.
“Somewhen next week. I hoped to introduce her gradually but apparently everyone knew already?”
“Kids tell me things. Hoopoe made a good impression on them” Jason explained.
“Hero sightings on Twitter” Dick admitted without a shadow of shame.
“What he said” Tim agreed “This person from crochet dolls made one for your kid too, so in public eyes she’s our already”
“For the last time, she isn’t my kid!” Duke groaned but as always went ignored.
“Nobody expected old man’s tendencies to rub on you so fast, Narrows”
“Shut up and this is half a reason I didn’t let you meet her. All of you”
“With all due respect Duke” Babs started teasingly “You gave us ammo yourself. You improved her diet, you brought her to The Food Track Of Mental Breakdowns, you teach her stuff, you check in on her almost as often as her cousin and their friends do…”
“How did you hack her pho- No, wrong question, why?!”
“We’re all paranoid bastards, I needed to check out the newest bird. She legally doesn’t exist btw so I suspect some shady stuff with her birth but otherwise nothing sus about her. Comms and trackers for her are waiting in drawer C19. You will give it to her tomorrow”
“Aye, aye captain Oracle ma’am” he joked.
“Wait, you showed her The Food Track?”
“She deserved it” he gritted out.
Before this could turn into a fight or something, Alfred demanded:
“Since we are all on the same page now, I would like to extend an invitation for family dinner to miss Hoopoe”
“We’ll eat it down here in full costumes”
“As you wish master Bruce. Master Duke make sure to let her know”
“Of course Alfred”
And he planned to do that but Dani didn’t show up. He hadn’t thought much of it because she was unpredictable like that. She tended to disappear from the face of the Earth for a day or two and return with tales of her “autograph hunting trips”
But then she didn’t show up on the next patrol too. It was unprecedented. And she hadn’t responded to the check in. Three times in the row. He was getting kinda sick from the stress.
He knew Dani well enough, she wouldn’t ghost him like that and in Gotham disappearing meant three things: getting kidnapped, trafficked or six feet under. To their knowledge, Dani didn’t have anyone who would pay ransom for her other than Signal and no demands were made so the first option was out.
Bats launched full fledged search.
Duke himself found and busted two trafficking rings in three weeks which was around how much he did in two months on a daily basis.
Thanks to Oracle, they found Dani’s utterly crashed phone in the dead end in the Narrows. It didn’t look any better.
Duke really hoped they wouldn’t be too late.
With each day it seemed more likely.
********
Bruce: *wants to have private conversation with his son about unknown child he's been working with*
All of the Batfam: Hello there
Duke: I managed to keep Dani secret my family of detectives!
Everyone other than Bruce: I knew for past two weeks, but goood job kid
Random o Twitter: I'm sooo disappointed with Signal for letting Hoopoe fight crime. She is just a little child, she shouldn't have to witness Gotham's worst
Other Random: Have you heard about Robin????? Have you seen teories that Signal is teenager???? With proofs????? Are you mad at child for not taking proper care of the other child????? That's messed up my dude/gal
Yell at Batman
Signal: You act like she isn't personification of feral cat I try to coax home so I can prevent her from getting in trouble. I dare you to try and stop her
Phantom: I do too, 100$ if you manage. It would save me from so much stress
Random: Now, who the f*ck are you?!
(Guess who never touched Twitter with 20 meters stick in her life)
Next part
Tag list: @pickleking8 @mynameisnotlaura
#dpxdc#dcxdp#dp x dc#dc x dp#dani hangs out with duke#signal got new sidekick and he cares about her deeply#it would fit more in part 2 probably but i forgot about it#Signal to Dani: Hydration check!#Dani: What? Why? Other wh words???#Signal: I care about you so I want to make sure you're taking care of yourself#Signal: Drink something#Dani: Okay cool here's a proof i'm drinking *photo of juice*#Dani to Danny: Hydration check! Drink something so I know you're okay#Danny: 👍 *sends photo of unholy mix of coffee red bull and ectoplasm with trice as much caffeine as it's legal in USA*#Dani: Glad you're being nice to your body#wandixx writes#ghost of fries and hero of cookies#have a nice day dear stranger who got to this part
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I think I might shelve my "coffee and alcohol as contrasting motifs" idea for a bit, at least until the season ends. imo there is something there, but not as much as there really should be for me to get behind it as a thesis, I need to re-do my notes from the start and figure out what I'm actually looking at. I committed the cardinal sin of analysis: deciding on a conclusion that felt supportable and then retroactively trying to make the evidence fit.
for the time being, I think it's better to look at coffee and alcohol as different expressions of the same motif, they're both socially acceptable chemically addictive mood altering substances. we've seen most of our cast engage with them in some way (I think lena has only had a thermos of tea mentioned, no coffee or alcohol, which, interesting, but it's still caffeinated), but sam is the only one we've seen consume them to any kind of excess. in magp 06 he has four coffees over the course of his shift and in magp 13 he comes into work noticeably tipsy after his "dinner" date, and both of these events are connected with celia, and, by extension, his investigations. two of his attempts at leaving the investigations alone involve him refusing offers of coffee (magp 09, magp 21), and in magp 09 when he immediately decides to go back on that decision he goes to find alice in the pub and drinks the pint teddy left.
also of note is that while alice dislikes it when sam overindulges, she does go out for drinks with him on a few occasions and consistently offers him coffee. also also of note is that while she specifically cautions sam against drinking too much caffeine at once, she herself seems to make and drink it fairly constantly, and one of her first lines in the whole show is to say that her body only runs on "spite and coffee." I think this maps on to her approach to sam's investigations into the OIAR and the magnus institute fairly well: she gets him the job that lures him in but doesn't want him to fall any deeper, all while pointedly ignoring how entrenched in it she's been this whole time.
#notable tea drinkers: colin celia and lena#colin and celia both also drink coffee but colin cuts caffeine totally by magp 10 and celia seems to have a preference for tea#lena has a thermos of tea but I don't think we've ever actually seen (heard) food or drink pass her lips. would need to doublecheck but. hr#tmagp#marina marvels at life
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