#and then i forgot to post them for three days

[msschemmenti]

girl next door 🏠 - 3

a/n: forgot to post this on here my bad 🫣 saw someone ask about a taglist for this story— let me know if you wanna be added to that :)

“You just had to pick somewhere in town for dinner? You know how the traffic is on the weekend.” JJ grumbled as they finally pulled into the parking lot of a new restaurant in town.

“I only picked it because last time we went out you not so subtly mentioned wanting to try a new place. Plus you didn’t even have to drive. Now come on, our reservation is for 8 and we’re cutting it a little close.” Emily answered as the women both exited the car.

They made it into the restaurant and were almost instantly seated. Emily pulled JJ’s seat out for her in an act of chivalry that had always been there since they’d met and they both settled to look over their menus. As the two women decided on a bottle of wine they missed the younger woman seated just three tables away from them. Y/n sat with a grimace as she listened to her date drone on about her work life and ab routine.

This was her first date in the DC area and she was starting to regret letting Grayson talk her into this. She’d been single for a while and if Susan was any indication of the DC dating pool, she’d be single for way longer. She’d matched with Susan on a dating app and they talked for a few days before setting up this date. Susan was beautiful, no doubt, but that seemed to be the only thing she had going for her. She’d basically spent the entire evening talking about herself and it was not looking good. She’d been in the city for about a month and a half and all Grayson could talk about was her needing to get laid. As she sat and listened to the older blonde drone on, she was really trying to decide how important an orgasm was to her right now.

“It really has been such a tough year at the firm though. They’d really be lost without me.” As the words left Susan’s mouth and Y/n fought an eye-roll, the waitress serving the other table turned and bumped into the woman’s back.

The teen turned around with an apology on her lips, but the disgust on Susan’s face was clear as day. She grumbled out a response but turned to Y/n to complain. “I can’t believe they’d just hire anyone here. I think she dented my hair, I’m gonna go fix this mess in the bathroom.” Susan left the table and Y/n sighed. She was not worth the hassle. She pulled her phone out to shoot a text to Grayson.

y/n: this is the worst date i’ve been on… like ever

gray: oh it can’t be that bad. She was so hot.

y/n: well that’s all she’s got going for her. she’s in the bathroom right now fixing her hair because a waitress barely touched her.

gray: oh that is not hot… this is disappointing. you know you wouldn’t even be on this date had you already made a move on your sexy fbi neighbors.

y/n: gray get serious. they’re literally married to each other??? why would i make a move on either of them?

gray: well you and i both know you don’t just want to sleep with one of them. if you had it your way, you’d be sandwiched between both of them. which i think you could be, if you weren’t such a pussy.

Y/n huffed an exasperated laugh as she readied her fingers to reply. What she didn’t expect was to hear her name floating over her shoulder. She turned around in confusion and was even more surprised to see JJ leaning back in her chair with a smile. “JJ? Oh, Hi!” the younger woman responded hoping the low light was hiding the blush coloring her cheeks. She watched as the older woman got up from her table and came to lean against her chair.

“Hi sweetheart, what are you doing here? Are you alone?” JJ asked curiously. She chose to ignore the term of endearment that slipped from her lips, of course.

“Uh no. I’m actually on a date right now.” Y/n said gesturing to the other glass of wine across from her.

JJ’s eyes widened a bit in surprise and she couldn’t stop her eyes from roaming the restaurant for the potential date. Coming up with no leads she brought her eyes back to Y/n, “Oh really? And how is that going?”

Y/n looked around before whispering to the older blonde, “Terrible.”

JJ laughed cheekily as she gazed at the younger woman’s pout. Y/n shook her head in exasperation before grabbing the glass of wine she’d been nursing for the whole night. “I really hope this isn’t an indicator of how dating in DC is going to be for me. Where’s Emily?”

“Awe, they can’t be that bad, can they? She’s gone to the bathroom.” JJ said looking over her shoulder and seeing the brunette heading over to her. “Oh, here she is.”

“Jen, what are you– oh. Hi Y/n, what are you doing here?” Emily asked in shock allowing her hand to settle at JJ’s waist.

“She’s on a bad date. What took you so long?” JJ wondered as she rested her hand on Y/n’s shoulder unconsciously stroking the bare skin in comfort.

“Oh, that sucks. I got stuck waiting for this god-awful woman to finish fluffing her hair at the sinks. She was complaining about the incompetent staff knocking her coiffed hair out of place. God, I hate people like that.” At the older woman’s explanation, the younger of the three downed the rest of her wine with a grimace and sigh.

“Oh my god, is she your date?” JJ asked giddily.

“Unfortunately. She’s spent the entire evening talking about her law firm and ab routine, and then this happened. Now I must suffer through this evening and think of a way to ghost her.” Y/n whined.

“How did you end up with someone like that?” Emily wondered aloud.

“She didn’t seem like this when we matched. I’ve honestly been so shocked all evening. Trust, there won’t be any more dates after this.”

“Oh poor baby,” JJ started when she spotted a huffy blonde making her way over. “Looks like she’s coming back. We’ll be over there, just cough really loud or something if you need to be saved.” JJ winked, linking her hands with Emily’s and going back over to their table after Y/n nodded in understanding.

Once back at their table, both women couldn’t help but stare. “Well one thing for sure, she’s into women. And we seem to fit her type.” JJ smirked as she watched the younger woman nod along while her date rambled.

“And I’ll drink to that!” Emily grinned and she and JJ clinked their glasses together. Eyes still trained on their beautiful neighbor.

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/766906446157840384/httpswwwtumblrcomolderthannetfic766905425760?source=share

OMG this Anon reminded me of what happened just a few days ago. I was mourning because I was reminded I deleted two fanfics I posted in Amor Yaoi about a ship that doesn't have that much of fanworks out there (in AO3 there are 62 fics about 'em after otp:true-ing the tag). I decided to search if anyone, BY MERE COINCIDENCE, re-uploaded without my permission on Wattpad (happened before with two Pokémon fics I wrote, when I was literally a nobody name fan, so...). No luck. HOWEVER. I stumbled across an Amor Yaoi account of mine that I completely forgot about. And then another. AND THEN ANOTHER ONE. And when I saw the description I put on all of 'em, I saw a link to THREE different AO3 accounts, each for every single different Amor Yaoi account.

And now, apparently, I have 5 AO3 accounts.

Why. What was happening in my fucking dumb teenager mind? In what kind of paranoia-induced state was I? I genuinely don't know. I didn't remember ANY OF THOSE accounts. My mind swept away all of that.

Now I don't know what to do with the extra accounts. I already gave one to my partner (who laughed so hard because I was live-reactioning with me as I discovered the accounts), but the other ones... I can delete 'em, but a part of me doesn't want to LOL.

--

Save them to fraudulently nominate extra fandoms for Yuletide or something.

[cawsceries]

doodles of some cool people’s very cool ocs :)

@furious-blueberry0’s baheera lee, @spicynectarines’ twins mar and cad, @heart-of-a-rebel16’s ash’i, @dragon-subway’s fen, @maulfucker’s verred ghalla, and @ivvmell’s ai’shyat!!

[arashi-no-saxlphone]

as much as I would like to believe that Frederick and Asuka could be friends again, like, Freddy is building that rocket as fast as he can to kick his ass before the residual FoC and Gear power leaves his body. I'm sorry. I know I'm the Asuka apologist but dude. Nearly 2 centuries of the most unimaginable agony and festering sense of betrayal, compounded by Asuka goading him intentionally on multiple occassions (his reasoning behind all this goading aside) he is not just going to be able to let that go.

Asuka's crimes against humanity are one thing, you can argue til you're blue in the face about that and there's actual ground to cover there, but what he did to Frederick and Aria is like... damn dude. You, without their consent, turned them into gears. You lied about it to their faces too. Aria, someone who is cited as having her identity and who she is as a human being be one of the most important things to her, trusted you to put her into cryosleep because you said you'd find a way to save her so that she could be with Frederick. She didn't want that, she wanted to stay and spend the time she had left with Frederick instead, but she let you convince her cause she trusted you. And you took away her body, identity, and autonomy. You took Sol's humanity from him following that, lied to him about it, and then spent 200 years pissing him off so bad on purpose to make sure he'd always be there to help you fix everything. Oh, and then you made him kill his wife that you mutilated. Twice, essentially.

I love you Asuka, but shit, that's all kinds of levels of fucked my man. Frederick justifiably hates you really REALLY bad. I hope we get something in Dual Rulers settling this, cause Frederick just letting that go even following the events of Strive is just kinda unrealistic.

[gojooooo]

sukuna begging yuuji to take him back because he wants to feel his emotions again instead of his own emptiness and nothing but the closeness they once had is enough for him. and when yuuji does, because he feels incomplete as well without sukuna, he spawns into the domain again and walks around the familiar place, hesitantly calling out sukuna’s name to confirm he’s really there. “sukuna…?”

“…kozō” he hears in return, fondness in the tone, and when he looks up at where he remembers the throne to be he sees a face so similar to his staring down at him with a smile, a hand immediately reaching out to slick the pink hair back. after everything they went through there’s no reason to keep dancing around it – they belong to each other.

[redbootsindoriath]

Okay so I didn’t remember that International Don’t Stab Your Best Friend Day was coming up until I was in the middle of a multi-day road trip, so here’s a comic I threw together in a huge rush while traveling in a moving vehicle and then took ages uploading on hotel wifi.

Transcription:

[Gurthang:] “Hey Túrin.” [Túrin:] “Yeah.” [Gurthang:] “I still can’t get over the fact that you literally murdered your best friend lol.” [Túrin:] “...” [Gurthang:] “Like how stupid do you have to be to do something like that, haha?” [Túrin:] “Oh yeah, you’re so right!  If only there had been someone there who could have said something!  A talking sword, for instance.” [Gurthang:] “Hey now, don’t pin this on me.” [Túrin:] “‘Dude stop, it’s just us, don’t freak out and stab anybody, even though it’s dark and you can’t see anything!’” [Elf 1:] “Is he okay?  Should we...do something about this?” [Elf 2:] “Absolutely not, I am not going near that situation.”

[triglycercule]

ok ok you dont need to threaten me here's some art ☹️☹️☹️

appreciate now while you have it because doodles are rare coming from me (only tri-yearly. i cannot doodle for the life of me its hard 🙁)

[probablygayattorneys]

I told my brother that if I never play Azran Legacy then Emmy never leaves and I can keep her in that moment forever

And he decided to lift the burden on me by just telling me why she left, thereby ripping off that bandaid. Only problem is, he’s never played Azran Legacy (or any Layton game, for that matter) so he doesn’t know either. But he wasn’t going to let that stop him, so he came up with a reason. And then a few more, just in case.

These reasons include:

-Roundhouse kicked a high ranking government official and is avoiding trial

-Layton doesn’t kill people… but he doesn’t always save them either, and then the train crashed.

-Took the fall for Two-Face killing cops so Harvey Dent’s legacy will live on

-She was the only one who could disarm the bomb but to keep her wife and kids safe she let Descole break her neck.

-Flashed her titties to everyone and is now off to find new people to flash

-She wasn’t actually the Professor’s assistant, she was his apprentice, but near the end of the game she really deepens her connection with the Force and starts to believe that she can overpower him and become the new Professor… however, when she tried to pull off this fight, it’s over, Emmy, the Professor has the high ground.

-Got a job at Hooters which has been a longtime dream of hers and the Professor told her she absolutely could not abandon her dreams to stay his assistant

-Bees.

-She learned the greatest secret the American government has been trying to keep from the public for years (Obama's last name) and had to be eliminated by any means possible.

-Emmy sacrificed herself to save the rest of them from the balrog but she comes back in New World Of Steam as Emmy the White.

-Got a ticket for the Eras tour and is still stuck in traffic leaving the stadium

-She was in a motorcycle accident and plowed into the side of an airplane hanger. She was so innocent�� and stoned, apparently.

-After they all sang Seize the Day, she wasn’t able to escape from the cops and they hauled her off to the refuge.

-It’s not Emmy. The first Emmy you see, the teenage one he helps is Emmy, but every single one since is Don Paolo.

-She was just a courier, meant to deliver something to New Vegas, but the game was rigged from the start.

-Moved to Seattle with Grosky to start their own law office.

-This one just says "Bones"

-Was killed by 30-50 feral hogs that ran into her yard within 3-5 minutes while Luke was playing.

-Drove a segway off a cliff

-Bruce Willis was DEAD the ENTIRE TIME!

-Left a note that says “Professor’s Assistant Emmeline Altava Chooses Death” and then fucked off to Europe or something for a year

-She ran away to be with Descole. She was attracted to his manly figure. His Waluigi like body. His spindly little legs. The cut of his jib, if you will.

-Rode her Vespa into a crowd of people while screaming “PEPSI MAN!”

-Didn’t learn STREET SMARTS from JJ Bittenbinder and went to a secondary location

-“Tell me about the rabbits, Emmy.”

-She’s a Russian sleeper agent sent to kill the professor and it’s just taken so damn long because a good hitman doesn’t leave collateral damage but she finally got Layton away from Luke long enough to get the job done.

-Was at a bar on international women’s day, did two shots and tried to fight another girl which caused an all out full bar fight and she fell into a coma after a third girl hit her over the head with an almost full bottle of Hood River Gin.

-Professor Sycamore’s airship flew her to places she’d never been… now she’s lying on the cold hard ground (goat noise)

-The time machine wasn’t stable enough to keep her in the present and it sent back in time to the moment the time machine exploded, sealing her fate.

-Moved to France to learn how to be a heart surgeon.

-She finally was approved to manage her own Dairy Queen franchise.

-She is dead and has been for the past ten years. The professor needs to let her go. The accident wasn’t his fault.

-She walked to Memphis to become a dentist. Anything but this.

-Most think... She died.

-....But I think we oughta believe she made it to the other side :)

[idiotarsonist]

Some drawings of my oc with @tarantula-hawk-wasp’s oc Maera

The first one is when they first meet, the first time my oc sees Maera close a rift. I imagine her first reaction is ‘why are they having a child do this?’ and then when she finds out that Maera is the only one who can fix things she stays at the inquisition to help. The second picture is the two of them going on a picnic cuz my oc would definitely try to do fun stuff with Maera and try to give her some good memories.

[tothelasthoursofmylife]

Character Profiles: Cloudia’s paternal extended family (and Florentin)

Index: Aurèle, Jacques, Arnaud, Anaïs, Gérard, the Marquis, Anselme, Sylviane, Amélie, Firmin, Florentin, Horace, Quincy, Abigail (Percival's siblings)

(All character ages are as of the latest chapter, or when they died. All information as of the latest chapter too.)

Navigation: Main and extras | Cloudia's grandparents and maternal extended family | Cloudia's paternal extended family (and Florentin) | Other servants and employees | Antagonists | Scotland Yard and misc.

Name: Aurèle Beauchene

Nickname(s): None

Birthday: May 20, 1829

Age: 19

Physical description: dark brown hair, brown eyes; he resembles his grandfather the most out of all grandchildren

Affiliation: Beauchene family; Dupont family

Occupation: None

Base of Operations: Château de Dupont; Château de Charbonneau (temporarily)

Favourite Colour: grey, blue

Favourite Flower: lavender

Favourite Dessert: chocolate cake, pain d’épices

What is in his bag? knife, handkerchief, bandage, sharpening stone, another softer handkerchief for glasses, another knife, comb, more knives

Random fact(s):

His favourite dish is quiche Lorraine.

Because his uncle took rather long to get married and have children, Aurèle was regarded as his eventual successor and educated as such. This was only phased out when Gérard was born. (All Beauchene/Dupont children receive excellent, special education nonetheless.) If Aurèle had remained his uncle’s heir, he would have taken the Dupont surname upon succeeding him.

Aurèle was relieved when Gérard was born because he always thought he was unfit to become the Marquis one day. (He also worries about his little cousin in that regard.)

Background info: He was originally named Gervais before I accidentally named the original Clockmaker character that too. I then changed his name to Aurèle, but Gervais the Clockmaker ended up getting replaced by Florentin.

First appearance: The Countess, Travelling (Chapter 21)

----

Name: Jacques Beauchene

Nickname(s): Jacky

Birthday: February 12, 1835

Age: 13

Physical description: brown hair, brown eyes, glasses

Affiliation: Beauchene family; Dupont family

Occupation: None

Base of Operations: Château de Dupont; Château de Charbonneau (temporarily)

Favourite Colour: green

Favourite Flower: very difficult to choose!

Favourite Dessert: cakes with fruits, particularly strawberry cake

What is in his bag? book, notebook, pencil, glasses case, handkerchief, a secondary notebook, a little telescope, compass

Random fact(s):

He used to be a bit afraid of ghosts when he was little. Now, he does not believe in anything paranormal or supernatural.

He wants to be a researcher and author for wildlife and nature. Although his parents assured him it was fine to pursue this goal, Jacques still feels odd not to help with/take part in the “family business” at all in the future.

He’s a bit embarrassed that he still occasionally requires a night light.

Background info: None.

First appearance: The Countess, Mystery (Chapter 22)

----

Name: Arnaud Beauchene

Nickname(s): None

Birthday: October 15, 1839

Age: 8

Physical description: black hair, green-blue eyes

Affiliation: Beauchene family; Dupont family

Occupation: None

Base of Operations: Château de Dupont; Château de Charbonneau (temporarily)

Favourite Colour: red, blue

Favourite Flower: marguerite, purple hyacinth

Favourite Dessert: soufflé

What is in his bag? marbles, card game, notebook, pencil, small toy train, hair ribbons, handkerchief, tissues, small whetstone

Random fact(s):

Because he has always been so quiet and unintentionally blends in with the wallpaper, Jacques used to believe in ghosts for a while.

Arnaud hears and sees quite a lot but prefers to keep his discoveries and observations to himself.

He’s set to become Gérard’s right-hand man when he becomes the Marquis.

Background info: None.

First appearance: The Countess, Mystery (Chapter 22)

----

Name: Anaïs Dupont

Nickname(s): None

Birthday: September 21, 1840

Age: 7

Physical description: red-brown hair, blue eyes

Affiliation: Dupont family

Occupation: None

Base of Operations: Château de Dupont; Château de Charbonneau (temporarily)

Favourite Colour: red, purple

Favourite Flower: iris, anemone

Favourite Dessert: everything with pomegranate

What is in her bag? handkerchief, small faerie doll; she has the habit of not carrying around a lot (i.a. because she sometimes loses things)

Random fact(s):

She liked faeries before her near-fatal fever.

While she likes faerie stories the best, she is very enthusiastic about myths and legends in general. She is particularly interested in Celtic (because of the faeries) and Greek mythology; her favourite Greek myth is that of Orpheus and Eurydice.

Background info: She was originally named Amable and is now named after Anaïs from The Amazing World of Gumball. (She gets a bit of her personality from her too!)

First appearance: The Countess, Mystery (Chapter 22)

----

Name: Gérard Dupont

Nickname(s): None

Birthday: March 22, 1845

Age: 3

Physical description: light brown hair, blue eyes

Affiliation: Dupont family

Occupation: None

Base of Operations: Château de Dupont; Château de Charbonneau (temporarily)

Favourite Colour: blue, yellow

Favourite Flower: the colourful ones

Favourite Dessert: chocolate cake

What is in his bag? too small to carry a bag, but keeps a stuffed toy close by and his pockets are filled with all sorts of things

Random fact(s): By 1889, no one calls him by his given name anymore as he has become the new Marquis.

Background info:

He was originally meant to be five, not three years old.

Gérard was originally set to become the Aristocrat of Evil with the scarred eye before I changed my mind.

First appearance: The Countess, Mystery (Chapter 22)

----

Name: ??? Dupont

Nickname(s): The Marquis

Birthday: 1762

Age: 86

Physical description: grey, formerly brown hair, green eyes

Affiliation: Dupont family

Occupation: The Marquis

Base of Operations: Château de Dupont; Château de Charbonneau (temporarily)

Random fact(s):

He had a very happy and loving marriage with his wife Séphora. (She had red hair which her son and granddaughter inherited.) She passed away in 1840.

He tried his hand at clockmaking too which frustrated Florentin because the Marquis was not good at it, and Florentin feared for his workshop and utensils. (The Marquis wasn’t being serious and only wanted to annoy Florentin; he was actually bad at watchmaking though.)

He grew up without any cousins. Because of this and the fact that he is a decade older than his sister and only lived with her for about ten years, the Marquis was a bit lonely in his childhood and youth. He’s rather happy that his grandchildren are so close-knit and get along well (most of the time).

Background info:

The Dupont family’s title was meant to be longer “The Marquis of […],” but I decided to scrap it because it was a very dumb reference to something. There was also meant to be a title for the heir which was cut as well.

I decided on his given name early on. It’s a funny one.

First appearance: The Countess, Mystery (Chapter 22)

----

Name: Anselme Dupont

Nickname(s): None

Birthday: 1800

Age: 48

Physical description: red-brown hair, green-blue eyes

Affiliation: Dupont family

Occupation: None

Base of Operations: Château de Dupont; Château de Charbonneau (temporarily)

Random fact(s): He was quite the lady-killer for a long time and already marked off as an “eternal bachelor” until he met his wife ten years ago.

Background info: He was originally named André. I changed his name because that was the name of one of my driving instructors, and I did not like driving lessons. (I did not end up getting my license.)

First appearance: The Countess, Malady - Part 4 (Chapter 23)

----

Name: Sylviane Dupont (née Lavoie)

Nickname(s): Sylvi

Birthday: 1805

Age: 43

Physical description: blonde hair, blue eyes

Affiliation: Dupont family

Occupation: None

Base of Operations: Château de Dupont; Château de Charbonneau (temporarily)

Random fact(s): She was tragically widowed twice before she met Anselme. (One fiancé also died before they got married.) Men began avoiding her after her second husband’s accidental death, believing she was a black widow. (In reality, she really was just that unlucky.) Sylviane had made peace with never marrying again or having children until she encountered Anselme.

Background info: She was originally named Renée. I changed her name because I didn’t like it and because I wanted to have as few names with accents as possible.

First appearance: The Countess, Malady - Part 4 (Chapter 23)

----

Name: Amélie Beauchene (née Dupont)

Nickname(s): None

Birthday: 1802

Age: 46

Physical description: brown hair, green-blue eyes

Affiliation: Beauchene family; Dupont family

Occupation: Baronne

Base of Operations: Château de Dupont; Château de Charbonneau (temporarily)

Random fact(s): She’s secretly a little nature nerd as well for which her brother used to tease her (and still does sometimes to this day). It was very refreshing to her when she met Firmin, and he treated her the same as everyone else.

Background info: Her name was always “Amelie,” but it was initially spelled differently and weirdly as a silly nod to her father’s given name. Because I didn’t know how the odd spelling would affect the name’s pronunciation, I settled on the more normal “Amélie.”

First appearance: The Countess, Malady - Part 4 (Chapter 23)

----

Name: Firmin Beauchene

Nickname(s): None

Birthday: 1798

Age: 50

Physical description: black hair, light brown eyes, glasses

Affiliation: Beauchene family; Dupont family

Occupation: Baron

Base of Operations: Château de Dupont; Château de Charbonneau (temporarily)

Random fact(s): When Amélie expressed her wish to marry him, her entire family was unsupportive because they thought they were an odd match and that Firmin would not fit into the family. The Marquis was the only one who approved him; the others eventually warmed up to him.

Background info: Like with the Marquis, he had a “full” title early on until I decided to leave it out. It was “Baron de Lorraine-Lillebonne,” and I got it from a random title generator.

First appearance: The Countess, Malady - Part 4 (Chapter 23)

----

Name: Florentin Chastain

Nickname(s): The Clockmaker

Birthday: September 9, around 1400

Age: 400+ (about 30 physically)

Physical description: short brown hair, phosphorescent chartreuse eyes, tall and lean; occasionally wears tinted glasses but dislikes them

Affiliation: Grim Reaper Dispatch (former); the Marquis (sort of begrudgingly)

Occupation: Grim Reaper (deserted); Clockmaker

Base of Operations: Grim Reaper Dispatch (former); his workshop in the woods

Favourite Colour: everything except green

Favourite Flower: doesn’t care

Favourite Dessert: angel wings, beignet

What is in his bag? various tools, some loose gears, a glasses case, a small pocket knife, very old Ohropax (he wished he had taken more)

Random fact(s):

He deserted at some point during the witch trials (they were poorly documented in France; very few executions were officially confirmed, but many, many more are presumed). It was a bleak time all over Europe (that the witch trials overlapped with constant recurrences of the plague did not help), and it made him realise the endlessness and pointlessness of his job.

Florentin became a clockmaker not long after deserting. He also became a matchmaker when he (by chance) introduced the Marquis to his wife.

He went on many adventures with the Marquis and although he would never admit it, he enjoyed some of them at least.

Background info:

The bare bones of his character come from a scrapped one-shot about Cloudia and Undertaker, with Undertaker being a very odd “clockmaker” living in the woods, and Cloudia the person who delivers his “goods.” Because I had difficulties writing it, it was eventually replaced by my one-shot “Warming” (which I wrote for a Christmas event). As I still liked the idea, I added a clockmaker Grim Reaper to WotQ (though the situation and details differ from the original one-shot idea).

The original WotQ Clockmaker character Gervais was very, very different to Florentin. I decided to replace him with Florentin because while Gervais did have ties to Grim Reapers, the story ultimately required a different kind of character – a deserted Grim Reaper. (I still like Gervais though.)

First appearance: The Countess, Clockmaker - Part 2 (Chapter 24)

----

Name: Horace Phantomhive

Nickname(s): Hoho (only his sister called him that)

Birthday: 1761

Age: 24 (at time of death; 1785)

Physical description: black hair, green-blue eyes

Affiliation: Phantomhive family; Weston College (former)

Occupation: Lord of Phantomhive; Prefect of Sapphire Owl (former)

Base of Operations: Phantomhive Manor; Phantomhive townhouse

Random fact(s):

The eldest of Octavius and Florence Phantomhive’s four children. He was “the perfect heir and son” in every way. Unfortunately, he and his twin died in a carriage “accident,” and he never succeeded his father as Earl and Watchdog.

Horace and his twin were rather aloof, keeping away from their younger siblings, so he was, despite his other qualities not a “perfect brother.” When Percival became family head, he found some interesting things his brothers had hidden away in the manor.

His middle name was “Greyson” which, just like Percival’s middle name, was never used by his parents. Horace occasionally used it as a fake surname.

Background info: I’m very for “all Phantomhives’ names contain a ‘c’” but then went and completely failed with Percival’s siblings because his original name was Horatio. However, I just noticed that I’ve never stated his name in WotQ so far although he was briefly mentioned, so I’m very quickly and sneakily fixing his name.

First appearance: Mentioned only (First: The Lady, First Training; Chapter 10)

----

Name: Quincy Phantomhive

Nickname(s): Q, Queeny (only his sister called him that)

Birthday: 1761

Age: 24 (at time of death; 1785)

Physical description: black hair, green-blue eyes

Affiliation: Phantomhive family; Weston College (former)

Occupation: None

Base of Operations: Phantomhive Manor; Phantomhive townhouse

Random fact(s):

As he was younger than Horace by a few minutes, he was the spare. He never minded it much though because he liked being “in the shadows.” He and his twin were very close and secretive.

His middle name was “Farran” which, again, was never used by his parents. He and his siblings were united in their confusion at least.

While Horace could be a bit stuck-up, Quincy was only a bit more relaxed. He was not much of a jokester but could at least crack some jokes every once in a while.

Background info:

His original name was Joseph which I just changed to adhere to my own little naming rules. I decided to rename him “Quincy” so that he and his brother could be theme-named after the poet Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus).

He was originally four years younger than Horace before I decided to make them twins.

First appearance: Mentioned only (First: The Lady, First Training; Chapter 10)

----

Name: Abigail Stafford (née Phantomhive)

Nickname(s): Abby

Birthday: 1770

Age: 29 (at time of death; 1799)

Physical description: light brown (on the verge of dark blonde) hair, grey eyes

Affiliation: Stafford family; Phantomhive family

Occupation: Baroness; Lady of Phantomhive (former)

Base of Operations: Stafford Manor; Stafford townhouse; Phantomhive Manor (former); Phantomhive townhouse (former)

Random fact(s):

She always appreciated the fact that she looked very different from her black-haired (blue)-green-eyed brothers and that her grey eyes were “all hers.”

The jokester of her sibling group, much to the annoyance of her brothers (especially Percival to whom she was the closest).

Abigail married in her early twenties but did not immediately want children. In the end, she never had any because she died in a terrible incident related to Watchdog work. (It shook up Genevieve and Percival a lot, and they didn’t speak (much) of Abigail afterwards.)

Like her brothers, she had an “unused” middle name: Delora.

Background info:

Unfortunately for me, I did mention her before by name, so I cannot sneakily change it to something that contains a “c.” At any rate, I did like the fact a bit that I messed up the (original) names of Percival’s siblings because they all died before him. Only the one sibling whose name always had a “c” in it became the successor and reached his thirties (and even his fifties!). A little accidental “curse” on my side.

Her husband’s given name is “Abraham” in my notes. I do have some name overlaps (Theodore Clifford and Theodore Sycamore, for example), so I’m a little undecided whether to change his name or not. But then, it does not really matter because he has no bearing on anything whatsoever.

First appearance: Mentioned only (First: The Lady, First Training; Chapter 10)

[butterflieswhisper]

i was genuinely planning to watch more of ratastrophe tonight but i started it, got to "[you whispered to unidingo: please don't die out there yet] I think their hunt is more successful if i'm not there" and my phone case literally fell apart in my hands. so.

[janamensch]

Lord Captain Lucius Virion-Elluin Elenasto of the Stormchaser of Gusthaven of the Champions of Aerois. Is there anything else I can add to his title?

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Me: I have a few FitPac ideas but I don't think I've written that much.

The document:

[bearandhoney-com]

16 weeks 🫨

[some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat]

I'm being so normal about my code and definitely didn't just almost cry (positive) upon confirming that I successfully linked my JS file in my HTML file with a relative path and it runs exactly as expected

[fantasykiri5]

I don’t knowwwwwww maybe fucking. Minecraft?

I mean I think they’re doing a pretty decent job as is, or at least they are in theory but then the ways they go about implementing the things they want to add are not quite right? Like idk.

The mob vote for example: really cool in theory and a great way to get the community involved. Grants user feedback on wants and needs for the game. BUT it also sows a Lot of fucking discord because the options usually are not balanced for potential. Like they’ll have one option that’s like. The easy dump option. Not super fleshed out, or wouldn’t blend well with existing gameplay or game lore, or really focusses energy on one specific playstyle instead of a diverse spectrum of players, or would just be kinda fucking annoying (phantoms) or whatever other reason right? Then the other two options will be a bit closer to compare.

The last two votes have had golems as an option, making them an easy immediate no for me (taking something from Jewish lore and attaching it to other mobs that are already insane Jewish characatures tends to make me not like a mob, which I’ll go more into depth on later.) but while this makes my choice pretty easy, others who may not have the context of this knowledge- through coincidental OR willful ignorance (for example: very large very young userbase) still see merit in the actual mechanic and/or worldlore concepts they present. Which is valid!! I would love to see a little guy that wanders around pressing buttons! Just call it a robot or automaton and change the harmful visual design. I would love to see a little guy that turns into a weird little statue that you can decorate!! Just call it a gargoyle or living statue and change the harmful visual design.

Basically the mob vote is a Cool idea (and making it so you need a Minecraft account to vote was SUPER needed after the whole D***m and glow squid thing a few years back, because of him and his goons’ insanely massive twitter influence— plus it gives the younger side of the playerbase a vote when they couldn’t on twitter, which is MASSIVE considering kids younger than 13 make up probably at least half of their playerbase) BUT they need to put more equally balanced mobs up for choice. AND put less focus on it: have a plan for the update, make three mob concepts that would fit the update theme without becoming the face of it, THEN let the community pick.

Or do something like the biome vote again. Maybe a vote for the general update theme honestly. Put together a list of some theme ideas that were planned for being added at some point regardless, draft up a couple bits of concept for each (even just art or mechanic ideas) in, say, two or three sets of three themes each, leaving two-three years before you start to recycle concepts. After the first three are chosen from the first groups, put the three runner-ups together the year after. Go in to the last place choices from the first three years and see community feedback on what parts were enjoyed and which parts weren’t well received, tweak them from there, then toss them back into the list with the other two runner-ups from the first three years, along with any other theme ideas you feel like adding, then just rinse-repeat.

BUT if they’re gonna stick with mobs for the community vote then they gotta have whatever mob chosen be WAYYY less central to the update.

Second example: Trial chambers, Trail runes, and other exploration-heavy additions to the game.

I think adding more exploration elements to the game is awesome, both in terms of being generally interesting, and fleshing out the lore of the world you play in a really cool way! It’s clearly long abandoned, and it’s super fun to travel and learn about those who abandoned it! I think the Trial chambers are a blast and are terrific for playing with friends as they make a great way to pass a few hours and have some laughs, and the Trail ruins I find cool because I just like archeology and enjoy more menial tasks in-game!

However.

That is because of the specific player-type I represent. I’d usually call myself a weird blend of explorer, miner/gatherer/hoarder, and builder, but there are SOOOO many ways to play the game that it just feels silly to CONSTANTLY push nothing but exploration-type gameplay for multiple years when the whole point of the game is that there are literally infinite ways to play it. (And yes, I know there was substantial Redstone stuff in the tricky trials update, but my point is that the focus is on just exploration for so long.)

Like, a very exploration-focused update is fun, but two in a row (at LEAST, that’s being generous to the last good handful), for lack of a better expression, gets old. Updates focused on one play style at a time aren’t a bad thing— in fact I think its better to do it that way because there’s less risk of over-promising and means the updates that do get implemented were really thought about in context to that play style, generally leading to higher quality additions! BUT to do that, you have to mix up which play styles you’re focusing on each update, so as to remove bias.

For example: you could do an exploration focused update, but then next year do a super building focused update, where you don’t add a huge amount in the ways of technical function or interesting structures, but instead focus on a much more vast expansion of the available palette of blocks in the game. Adding things like new wood types or biome variants (without crazy new gen rules or whatever) or new dyes or new ways to use existing dyes like staining wood! Decorative things like non-functional foliage and other decoration entities and blocks would also fit under this (stuff like idk, shelves, or variant block additions like the tuff and copper from this last update would count too.)

After that you could do a Redstoner update that doesn’t add to the game lore and doesn’t add a million new blocks, BUT adds a bunch of cool new practical functions! Or a Miner/Hoarder update that handles inventory management (which is like to say isn’t as big an issue as most make it out to be, y’all just don’t know how to organize your shit. Carrying around two loose sticks a pork chop three coins and a ball of lint isn’t great for inventory management guys >:| just empty your damn pockets.) and other storage and UI changes, like a more vast storage container, or like shulker enchantments to make it hold more stuff. Bundles would also fit under this, since they are technically in the game, they just don’t have a recipe, I’m pretty sure you can get them with /give even without the experimental pack enabled. (BUNDLES AREN’T BAD EITHER YALL JUST DON’T KNOW HOW TO USE THEM. They’re not for large amounts of stuff or things to need frequent quick access to, they’re for small handfuls of odds and ends you pick up while traveling, like small bits of treasure or a small individual amount of a large variety of flowers, etc. You Are All Just Using Them Wrong. Bundles are my fucking baby don’t you dare say anything bad about her again.)

The list basically goes on and on, but the point I’m trying to make is that updates for one type of player at a time are a good thing, but only when you actually devote different updates to a lot of different player types, instead of focusing on just exploration for some reason.

My final point isn’t a future development thing, but an active change I would make as immediately as possible:

Change the fucking villagers.

And I don’t mean the biome based trades (which could be cool as a toggleable option like phantoms, but again, focus on just explorer players while neglecting other player types.)

No, I’m talking about the insane antisemitic caricatures that are the whole way the villagers & illagers are designed (which I briefly touched on earlier in reference to all the golem concepts of recent mob votes.)

I’d like to preface this by saying I’m not Jewish myself, I’m an atheist and mixed Indigenous American and white, so I don’t have first hand experience with antisemitism and am not as intimately aquatinted with every issue with the villagers, but I’ve read a good amount about the main big ones so. If there’s anything else I miss feel free to add on in a reblog, as I would love to see it.

Basically, it’s a lot on the visual designs and the naming. “Villager” and “Illager” are innocuous enough on there own, and the later is a pretty decent pun on the former, but the naming issue comes primarily from Iron Golems being referred to as golems. Again, I’m not super deeply versed, but I do know that golems are a concept from the Jewish belief system and are a form of construct. Again, on its own this wouldn’t be as huge of a deal (I mean, it’d still sorta be appropriation, but if it were done on its own and more respectfully I think it could tilt to appreciation instead.) but it’s very much purposely paired with the visual designs of the villagers and witches (and later other illagers.)

Like. Mobs whose only real shtick in-game is emeralds(money) and trading (implying greed), have big noses and unibrows as highlighted and exaggerated features, AND summon golems?? Honest to god it’s hard to get any more obvious with bigoted stereotyping than that. Notably also with the wart on the side of the nose for witches too. Like it’s just nasty. Having a mob in the game that’s just for trading is fine, but so clearly and intentionally tying it to draw that connection is frankly fucking hateful. It’s very much a remnant from when Notch worked on the game, because he is notoriously a shitty person in a number of regards including but very much not limited to antisemitism, but the blame for it being in the game is not fully off of the current dev’s shoulders as they actively choose not to change it.

My solution? Just change it.

I mean, they changed bats’ model after YEARS and years of making merch with bats on it with no problem! Honestly I’d be willing to bet there’s more merch out there with bats on it than there is merch with villagers!! AND they changed the Vexes to better match Allays! There’s no way this is actually an issue (and I hope the change of the bats was a sort of test run regarding merch and audience pushback in preparation for changing the villager stuff, but I’m also a chronic optimist so who knows if that hope is in any way true.)

It’d honestly be a simple set of changes: change the visual designs of villagers and illagers to remove the Jewish caricatures (I’ve seen texture packs that make them different anthros which are fun, but something so simple as getting rid of the nose and unibrow would work too) and change the iron golem face to match whatever they’re changed to, then rename it to ‘iron construct’ or something along those lines. Like it wouldn’t even require much editing of code (outside of name correcting.) it’d pretty much just be a built-in texture pack. There are a million texture packs out there with this specific purpose. It’d be so simple. That’s my whole point, it’s just that it would be an easy as fuck problem to fix and it has to be willful ignorance on the dev’s parts that it’s not even been properly acknowledged, much less addressed, in the time since Notch left the team.

The final thing is change is community communication. It’s just not strong enough I feel. Like more frequent, more in depth progress updates (like the written little articles, not actual game updates) is pretty much it. Over-promising and under-delivering has become a bigger and bigger issue the last few years (often with good reason, don’t get me wrong, or at least when Covid first hit and everything) and honestly just keeping the community up to date on this kind of thing is the only solution. If you pick up something that’s too ambitious for your time schedule and you need to either drop or postpone it that’s fine, it happens, but letting the community know as these things are decided should be the standard. Even if you go back and say “hey, we actually DO have the time, so we’re gonna pick it back up again, false alarm!” That’s LEAGUES better then just saying “oops, bit of more than we could chew with the concept we showed you 8 months ago and there’s no time to live up to it, guess we’ll just leave you super underwhelmed by not letting you know what to expect!” And just. Leaving it like that. Let us know AS THINGS ARE BEING DONE what to expect with updates, let us know if it changes down the line WHEN it changes! A few little surprises could be fun for the final official update, but since snapshots are a public thing anyways there’s no reason to not explain exactly why x thing feels empty or rushed. Like, I like tricky trials a lot, but it also feels a little empty because the whole update pretty much just focuses on that one structure. When the later snapshots with mostly bug fixes started coming out I kept thinking “oh, it’s all in the chambers, nothing else they’re surprising us with?” Like it’s not a bad thing the update is ONLY about the chambers themselves, but making that clearer would have definitely curbed that disappointment in not only myself but a large portion of the community as a whole.

Anyways. It’s 12:33am now and I started writing this at probably 10:45, or 11 at the latest. So. I’m going the fuck to bed. Goodbye all disappears into the night

YOU! Are granted the power to suddenly own ONE video game franchise, and to hire the best people who have ever worked on it (and/or anyone else you want in on it).

What video game franchise are you rescuing--er, acquiring?