#the love that guy has for standing on street corners in the rain with a hot drink and a smoke and ur hat pulled down over ur ears.....

[cosmicrhetoric]

unfortunate but this guy Understands caffeine dependency 😐

[hwaslayer]

love you in slow motion (psh) | one.

♡ spotify playlist | series masterlist ♡

—summary: seonghwa will go through hell and back for you, as long as he can continue to see that smile on your face. because to him, that smile feels like a rainbow after the rain, the warmth of the sun on a winter day. because to him, you’re more than just his bestfriend—you’re love. even though everyone seems to see that except you.

—pairing: park seonghwa x f!reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) bestfriends to lovers | fluff, angst, eventual smut

—word count: 5.7k

—chapter warning: cussing/mature language, hints of a toxic relationship & ex-bf, mentions of a broken family and death, just a good ol' intro to hwa and oc + their dynamic + their family dynamics, buried feelings and overthinking!!

"Seonghwa?" Your cousin, Soyeon, calls for him on the other line. Soyeon rarely ever calls Seonghwa, but when she does, it's usually for good reason.

"Soyeon, what's up?" Seonghwa says, hand on his hip as he tries to regulate his breathing after a late night boxing session with Wooyoung and Hongjoong.

"Y/N said she would be home earlier, but she hasn't been. Yaya's worried, I'm worried. It's pouring outside." She says frantically. He sighs, stomach slightly dropping at the statement.

"Okay, where did she go last? I haven't heard from her since earlier this morning." Soyeon lets out a hefty sigh.

"Of course she wouldn't tell you. She was with Mingi." She says sarcastically, knowing Seonghwa would be upset with you for giving in, yet once again. Seonghwa had no issues giving you the 'I told you so' every single time you've been with your shitty ex-boyfriend. He always makes you cry, and it never fails. He doesn't understand why the fuck you keep running back to him. So to Seonghwa, it's not surprising that you kept this from him. Doesn't stop him from pinching the bridge of his nose before nodding, though.

"Alright, I'll find her. Don't worry."

"Thank you. Seriously. When you see her, you better tell her to stop seeing that fucking asshole. All he does is treat her like shit."

"Yeah, I know. Are you and Junseo home now?"

"Yeah, we are. We were gonna go to Yaya's but she told me to call you first before anything."

"Good, stay put. I'll take care of it and text you. She won't be far."

"God, such a headache. Thank you, Seonghwa."

"Course." He sighs as he ends the call, tossing his phone onto his duffle bag before un-doing the wrap around his hands. 

"Done already?" Wooyoung asks, making Hongjoong shift his attention to the platinum blonde while they stand near the bag.

"I gotta go find Y/N."

"What? What happened?"

"Who knows, she was with Mingi."

"Dude is always bad news." Hongjoong chimes in, watching as Seonghwa throws his hoodie on and slings the duffle bag strap over his shoulder.

"Tell me about it." Seonghwa rolls his eyes and shakes his head. "I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"Text us when you're all good. Hope she's okay."

"She's fine. Just needa get her out of this rain." He says, giving them one last wave as he walks out of the studio and down the steps. Soyeon is right; the rain has picked up over the last few hours, creating huge puddles near the sidewalks and curbs due to the intensity. The stream of water makes a loud noise as it falls into the drain nearby, the loud pour of the rainfall echoing throughout the empty street. Seonghwa drags the hood over his head, doing a slight jog to his parked car on the side of the studio. Luckily for him, he knows where Song Mingi lives. Luckily for him, this town isn't that big and you couldn't have gotten far.

Luckily for him, he's right.

He finds you walking about two blocks away from Mingi's place, just getting ready to turn the corner to lord knows where. He slowly drives alongside of you, rolling down his passenger window to peak over at you. He's glad he found you when he did because you have a flimsy hoodie and leggings on, the hood completely drenched and barely doing anything to protect you from this rain.

"What are you doing, Seonghwa?" You ask, eyes glued forward as you continue to walk.

"What does it look like? Get in, you're gonna get sick." You squint your eyes at him as you continue to walk. "Y/N."

"How did you even know where to find me?"

"It's not hard to figure out when you're with Mingi." He quickly glances at the street ahead, making sure there are no oncoming cars or passengers in the way. "Plus, Soyeon called. Her and Yaya are worried because you told them you'd be home earlier."

"Of course." You mumble.

"Y/N, get inside and stop being stubborn."

"Seonghwa—" He starts to obnoxiously honk his horn on the quiet street, making your eyes widen at him. You continuously tell him to stop and to quit being so loud, however, his efforts don't stop. "Park Seonghwa, what the fuck! Fine!" You groan loudly, quickly opening the door when he stops the car. You plop yourself onto the seat, glaring at him. "Happy?!"

"Not really, but at least you're in the car." He locks the doors and turns up the heat, driving off to his 1 bedroom apartment. "You can stay at mine for tonight so you don't stress out Yaya." He keeps his eyes on the road, thoughts shifting to your grandma and how worried she might be right now.

"She won't even be that—"

"She sure as hell will, Y/N. Besides, who the hell wants to argue with you this late at night? It's almost 1am. Knowing your ass and how you never listen, even though you should." He sighs. "I'll take you home tomorrow morning before I head to work."

"Whatever." You cross your arms, still feeling cold and uncomfortable after being in the rain.

"Why were you walking in the rain?" He asks, most definitely knowing the answer already. Your nights with Mingi always end on some toxic shit, all this yelling and back and forth— arguing over empty promises and issues from the past.

And for what? The dude is never gonna change. Seonghwa isn't sure what the hell you're holding out hope for. 

"I'll tell you if you spare me the 'I told you so.'" He shakes his head.

"Can't promise."

"Then you don't get shit from me." 

"Why do you let him do this to you?"

"Wow, that's actually worse than an 'I told you so.'"

"I'm being serious." He glances at you with a very mixed expression, mainly serious and worrisome tones.

"I don't know, okay. I wish I could tell you." It's silent for a minute, the only sounds filling the car are the rain pounding against the windshield and the heat on high. 

The thing about Seonghwa being your bestfriend of 16 years is the fact that you can always rely on him to be there no matter what. He's always so, so good to you; always so caring, so supportive and so protective. You've never had to ask Seonghwa for anything because he always gives, and is always ready to give. Just like tonight, when he shouldn't be here but he is. 

He had been yours, just as you had been his since the beginning.

Sometimes, it's easy to believe you don't deserve someone like Seonghwa by your side.

You met this adorably shy, sweet kid when he was introduced to your class as a new transfer in the 3rd grade, most kids in your class politely saying hello but going about their own business afterwards. You, though, had stuck around to show Seonghwa his new school and to eat with him. Since then, your relationship had flourished. His dad had become bestfriends with your own dad, the two of you always going on family trips together, hanging out at each other's homes, going to the same schools onward— Seonghwa was always there, you were always there. He had seen you through your very best, seen you through your very worst. Was there during your highs, was there during your lows. Knows exactly how to push you right to the very edge, but also knows how to make up for his dumb mistakes. Knows exactly how to handle you, attitude, temper and all, knows exactly what makes you happy, what makes you sad.

He knows you like the back of his hand.

Probably better than you know yourself.

Seonghwa became the golden child though, you know? He had loving parents who supported him through everything. He was a superb student [a teacher's pet, if you may], an athlete, a prodigy; always winning numerous awards and medals throughout his academic and athletic career. He had countless talents and a positive energy that people admired him for, though shy and timid in the beginning. He got along well with people and was the ultimate charmer. Attractive, had his way with the ladies— albeit, he can be an idiot when he thinks with his dick from time to time and not his brain. But nonetheless, Seonghwa is Seonghwa. He would never intentionally hurt a soul, would never intentionally give people what they didn't deserve. To be clear though, Seonghwa has his fair share of mistakes and fuck-ups, but in the end, he would always apologize when in the wrong and make up for his actions. While you, on the other hand, were his polar opposite and struggled to find your place in this crazy, crazy world.

You had never met your biological mother, and your dad had spent majority of your earlier years working graveyard to keep food on the table, to keep sending you to a good school. You spent most of your childhood growing up at Yaya's house, where your dad's sister and her family lived for awhile. That's how your older cousin Soyeon became the sister you've never had, somebody else you could rely on, fight with and experience the ups and downs with. Things were good, and they were good for awhile until you lost your dad to a rare and sudden illness.

Then, things went downhill for you.

You continued to stay at Yaya's, only having her, Soyeon and her family, Seonghwa and his family by your side. You began to push people away, you got into trouble and made dumb mistakes that hurt your loved ones more times than you'd like to admit. You had your moments where you acted solely on feelings instead of being rational. You had no filter, not being afraid of telling people if they were wrong even if it meant hurting their feelings to no end. You no longer got along well with most people, finding it hard to vibe well with majority of the crowd. No longer caring about what was in the know, what was trending; was incredibly selective about who you gave your time and effort to in fear of losing more loved ones dear to your heart.

Without Seonghwa at your side, you're not sure where you'd be. Because truly, if it wasn't for him, you don't think you would have continued to try. He was the only thing that remained constant in your life, one of the only people who continued to show you genuine care and love despite your flaws and all.

"Have you eaten?" He suddenly speaks and changes the topic, not wanting to upset you any more than you already are.

"I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat something." You don't respond. "Mom made some kimbap today, I can set some aside for you."

"Thanks." You say softly, watching as the car finally drives into the familiar apartment complex. Seonghwa turns the wheel with one hand, pulling into his assigned parking spot before shutting off the car. He lets out a sigh before looking over at you, noticing you're still in your sad, sulky position in the passenger seat.

"Ready? Or should we just sleep in here tonight?" You slowly turn and glare at him, mocking him before answering dramatically— knowing it's the most childish thing you can do right now, especially after Seonghwa took the time to find you and pick you up in this rain.

"Why don't you just leave me here?"

"Good with me. At least I don't have to lend you any more of my clothes and have you sleeping on my couch. Matter of fact, more kimbap for me." He says, stepping out of the car, keys rattling in his pocket as he turns to shut his car door. He continues to walk without worry because he knows the shit you pull.

You'll end up following him.

He doesn't even have to turn over his shoulder to make sure you do. He hears the car door slam after a few minutes, and he smirks a bit to himself before locking the car using the key fob in his pocket.

"You really have to slam my car door like that?" He asks, slightly looking over his shoulder before climbing up the steps.

"Sorry." You mumble, pathetically following your bestfriend with your arms crossed tightly against your chest. He unlocks his door and waits for you to make it up the steps, letting you step in and out of your shoes first before following you inside. He tosses his keys onto the entryway table before walking into the kitchen and pulling out his phone to text Soyeon that you were safe with him for the night.

"You can go shower first. Just take whatever you want from my closet." He says, eyes focused on the bag of kimbap his mom had dropped off earlier in the day. You simply nod and head straight to his closet, grabbing some pajama pants and a longsleeve. You toss your clothes into the bathroom sink, mentally making a note to ask Seonghwa if you can throw in a load of his laundry with your clothes. The last thing you wanna do is make a mess in Seonghwa's super clean apartment, let alone drag home some wet clothes from the night prior.

The shower you take is short, but relaxing. You let the hot water beat down on you, thoroughly scrubbing and scratching every inch of your body, your scalp. When you finish, you lather some lotion and pad back out to his living room. Seonghwa glances up, watching as you come towards him with his long pajama pants and a long sleeve with sleeves that falls past your hands. He thinks you're the cutest thing he has ever seen [especially in his clothes], but he subtly bites onto his bottom lip to suppress the smile forming at his lips.

"Can I do some of your laundry so I can wash my clothes? They're just sitting in your bathroom sink." He shrugs.

"Don't worry about it, I'll toss it in there before I hop into the shower." He slides a small plate on the counter of his kitchen island bar area, before handing you a hot cup of green tea. "Eat at least one." You nod, watching as he washes his hands and begins to make his way to the bathroom. You're hungrier than you thought, popping in all the pieces of kimbap Seonghwa prepared for you before downing the green tea. In the end, you feel full, satisfied.

Content.

Warm.

After a good thirty minutes, Seonghwa is out of the shower and tossing the load into the dryer. He's ruffling his semi-dry hair as he brings out a thick blanket for you, glancing at the random Cars movie playing on the tv.

"Here." He says. "You finished eating?"

"Mhm."

"Okay. I'm gonna go to bed then." He turns to head into his room.

"Hwa, can't you just sleep out here with me?" You point at the free part of his L-shaped sectional couch.

"Why, when I have a perfectly comfortable bed to sleep on in here?" He points to his room, but you pout.

"But, you also have an amazing couch that you can share with your bestfriend."

"You snore and you move around too much."

"I do not, and you'd be on that side of the couch anyway!" You furrow your brows. "You snore, too!"

"Not as loud as you, sounding like you belong in that Cars movie." He glances at the tv screen while making the dumb joke, and you groan.

"Okay, fine. Whatever." You succumb to defeat and wave the white flag. "I just don't necessarily wanna be alone."

"You're not, I'm right here."

"Pichu." Ah, there it is. That stupid nickname he's painfully grown to adore after you've told him time and time again that he looks just like the pokemon. He sighs, realizing you probably won't let this up. On top of that, he knows he can't say no to you regarding most things. So, he drags himself into his room and rips off his duvet comforter from the bed to bring with him into the living room. He sets himself up on one section of the couch, while you take up the other— heads meeting at the corner.

"The moment you rip out a big snore, I'm leaving you out here." He warns and you snort.

"You're a dick. I don't even snore like that."

"And how would you know, sleeping beauty?" He looks at you, heart content with the way you happily look at him from your side of the couch. You have no rebuttal though, so he shuts off the tv and rests his hand on the back of his head while closing his eyes. "Thought so. Get some sleep, it's getting late." He hears you rustling underneath your own blankets, head gently knocking onto the side of his that makes him suck his teeth. "Y/N." He groans with a whiney tone. "This is what I mean."

"Sorry, sorry." You pout, rubbing the side of his head. "I'm good now." You mumble underneath the blankets as you settle, satisfied with your warm and bundled position. You can hear Seonghwa's soft breathing behind you, signaling that he'll probably fall asleep soon [and quick, too]. "Hwa?" You softly call for him one last time.

"Hm?" He hums.

"Thank you." You pause. "For everything."

"You know I care about you more than anything, right?" He says, close to a whisper. "You deserve way better."

"Yeah." Is all you respond with before closing your eyes, hoping to finally be at peace for the remainder of the night. "Love you, pichu." You say sleepily.

"Love you, too." He feels the statement tug at his heart strings because Seonghwa does love you, he has loved you for years. Been in love with you for years. But you were always the most important, this dynamic and relationship was the most important, that he's learned to suppress and live with it— even though at times, he feels like he gives it away pretty easily, or lets his emotions get to the best of him. 

Everyone can tell. 

Everyone knows. 

Everyone but you. 

Surprisingly, you do fall asleep before Seonghwa. He can't help but peek from his peripherals, noticing your steady breathing under the covers. Your head is barely poking out from the covers, making Seonghwa smile to himself. He settles a little closer to you, top of your head tucked near the crook of his neck as he slightly turns towards your side and finally shuts his eyes to get some sleep.

When you wake up the following morning, it's because Seonghwa's cussing to himself as he runs to grab his ringing phone on the island counter. His eyes quickly dart to you as he snatches the phone and answers the call, noticing you're starting to wake up.

"Sorry, Y/N." He apologizes and you let out a small squeak as you stretch and shake your head.

"It's okay, Hwa. Should probably get up anyway." You rub at your eyes, watching as he paces back into his room to finish getting ready for work. He's apparently talking to Wooyoung, agreeing to pick the guy up after bringing you home since they work at the same place— two athletic trainers for the men's sports teams at one of the universities in town, Wooyoung and Seonghwa mainly taking care of the football and basketball teams, popping into other sports if the help is urgently needed. They've both worked really hard to earn their current positions, being two of the leads who focus on training, treatment and rehabilitating their athletes at homebase, and only participating in a few quick trips for away games if asked.

As you stand and start to fold the blanket, you catch sight of how tired Seonghwa looks and you feel terrible. You know Seonghwa loves to test his limits, working out late after his shifts and barely getting 8 hours of sleep right before a busy day of tending to athletes. Despite your nagging and lecturing him on getting more rest, Hwa has gotten used to doing things this way.

However, part of you still feels guilty that he doesn't look as bright and alert this morning because of you. Because you needed more saving, because you chose to be stubborn and listen to Mingi even though he hasn't given you a reason to trust him since you've broken up.

"I didn't mean to wake you so early."

"I mean, you do have to leave soon, don't you?" You check the clock, peeping the current time as 8:27am. "Isn't this really late for you, actually?" Especially during the season, Seonghwa is always at work by 6AM, leaving super late in the afternoon. Off-season is a little easier for him, being that practice schedules are spread out due to sharing space with other sports/teams.

"Not for today. The team is lifting right now, I need to work on some rehab reports first before training and practice later today." You nod. "Are you good to leave soon then?"

"Of course."

"Okay, let me just grab a few things so we can head out. I need to pick up Wooyoung's lazy ass."

"He's not in to help with lifting?"

"Not anymore. Dude overslept." You snort.

"Why am I not surprised?"

"Director Shin loves him. She would never get him in trouble or scold him."

"She loves you, too." You say.

"Not as much as Wooyoung. She'll bite my head off first before she ever thinks about coming for him." He throws in some food into his duffle bag solely for work. The duffle bag is huge, having the university's name plastered on the side in big, bold letters— followed by his name etched onto the corner with his athletic training certification. "By the way." He points at your neatly folded, washed clothes on the coffee table. "Don't forget your clothes."

"Thanks."

"Are you just gonna go home like that?" He eyes his clothes on your figure.

"Yeah, why not?" He shrugs.

"Alright then. Let's go." He pats himself down to double check that he has everything on him before heading out of the door. You lazily follow behind after slipping into your sneakers, having to roll up Seonghwa's pajama pants so that they don't reach the floor and get dirty. You plop into the passenger's seat with your clothes on your lap, rubbing at your eyes once situated. "You didn't have to get up so early. I technically don't need to be there until 10."

"It's fine, Hwa."

"Did you tell Yaya we were on the way?"

"No, I'll just surprise her when I get there." You smile and he shakes his head.

"You need to stop worrying your grandma and your cousin."

"I'm not even doing anything!"

"You're not? Then, what was last night?" He glances at you then lets out a small scoff. "Exactly. And please stop running back to Mingi. That dude isn't gonna change, and you know that. All he does is make you upset and I can't stand it. You two aren't good for each other."

"I hear you." You say lowly, head leaning against the passenger window.

"I'm sorry." He lets out a breath, genuinely just worried about you and your wellbeing. "I don't mean to do this so early, but I just get worried about you." He ruffles your hair a bit, causing a small smile to creep up on the corners of your lips.

"It's okay. I need to hear it." He chuckles.

"Yeah, you do. You're such a fucking headache." He jokes. "But you're important to me, and all I want is for you to be happy." He pinches your cheeks, making you scrunch your nose.

"Thanks Hwa." He looks at you while posted at a stop light, admiring the way you scrunch your nose and let out a little giggle. That's how he likes to see you. Not upset, sad, or crying. Especially over Song Mingi.

The drive to your house isn't too far, or at least, it never feels too far since you and Seonghwa always engage in conversations about various things while in the car. He pulls into Yaya's driveway, parking right next to Soyeon's car. You occupy the tiny detached in-law suite in the corner of the backyard, so Seonghwa isn't surprised when you try to scurry to the backyard to avoid Yaya and Soyeon.

"She's here!" He yells and points at you.

"You're a pain in the fucking ass, Park." You glare at him while you simultaneously hear Yaya telling you to come into the house and to not even think about running into the backyard.

"Oh, Yaya! Miss damsel in distress just walked in."

"Y/N. You should've called or texted. We were worried when we didn't hear from you." Yaya looks at you disappointingly while whipping up some breakfast.

"Sorry." You mumble as Seonghwa brushes past you to kiss ass to Yaya.

"Always needing her bestfriend to come and save the day." Soyeon says sarcastically before crossing his arms. "Seriously, what the hell would you do without Hwa? And why the hell didn't you make it home in time or text to let us know you'd be late?"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Hi to you too." You squint at her. "He was supposed to bring me home but we got into another stupid fight, that's all." You roll your eyes before glancing at the empty luggages she has next to her.

"So, he just let you walk in the rain? What a fucking dick."

"Language." Yaya warns, glaring at the two of you from the kitchen next to Seonghwa, who is quickly peeling a banana he took from the fruit basket.

"Where are you going?" You nod at the luggages.

"Me and Junseo are heading to Japan in a few days." She smiles. "We're way overdue for our anniversary vacation. Meaning, you're gonna have to man the restaurant." You groan. "And watch Charli? Pretty please." She pleads in a sweet tone, knowing you'll always do anything for their 3 year old daughter.

"Seriously?!"

"Charli loves staying with you and Yaya! And all you have to do for the restaurant is make sure everything runs smoothly and be the cute waitress that you already are! It's nothing you haven't done! Plus, Yoongi and Jini will be there, and Charli will be in preschool for the most part." At this point, you whine [moreso about maintaining the restaurant] while Soyeon continues to check the list on her phone.

"Speaking of the restaurant, are you free tonight?" Seonghwa chimes in, looking at his phone.

"I don't know, depends on my boss here." You glare at Soyeon before looking back at Seonghwa. "Why?"

"San is back home so we're going out to the bar."

"Excuse me?!" You yell. "What the fuck!"

"Hey!" Yaya glares at you again. "Say that word one more time in my house."

"Okay, I'm sorry!" You point at Seonghwa. "But, you! Why didn't you tell me about Sannie coming back?!"

"How could I? You were too busy sulking over Mingi." He says, furrowing his brows with a cheek full of banana. Soyeon snorts and shakes her head, making you glare at the both of them.

"Ha-ha very funny. You didn't think you could tell me any other day?"

"Well, he wasn't even supposed to be coming back until next week. But he just texted us saying he decided to come back early and that he's already settled at the condo his uncle owns."

"Why aren't I getting these texts?" Seonghwa smirks and flicks your chin with his finger.

"Because boys need to talk about boy things."

"Oh whatever, it's not like any of you are getting any—"

"Seonghwa, please. Tell that girl to stop talking like that." Yaya pleads for him to tell you to keep it quiet. He chuckles a bit before looking at you pointedly, tapping the tip of your nose.

"Stop that." He smiles down at you. "And who said we weren't?"

"Please, all you guys do is yell while playing FIFA and Mario Party." You sigh. "Anyway, I'm going back to sleep for a bit. I'll come in for an earlier shift at the restaurant so that I can see Sannie." You direct the statement at Soyeon and all she does is nod.

"Pick you up afterwards then?"

"Ah, it's okay. Usual bar, right?" He nods. "I'll just bus over." You tap his chest. "Thanks pichu, see you later. Have fun at work!" At this point, Yaya is walking towards Soyeon and Seonghwa, hands placed on her hips as she observes you skipping to your in-law suite.

"Hwa." Yaya tugs on his arm before he can help Soyeon pack the large luggages in her trunk and head out to pick up Wooyoung.

"Hm?"

"It should just be you two." She pouts, making Seonghwa laugh. Time and time again, Yaya has always pushed the 'you and Seonghwa' agenda, stating that you two were meant to be together. And Seonghwa doesn't mind, he always laughs about it. He kinda likes that Yaya [everyone, really] thinks so, and if things were easy, he'd make it happen without question. But things aren't— because there's always that voice in the back of his head that tells him he needs to leave things as they are or else everything will be ruined.

He doesn't want that.

He would rather bury his feelings than lose you.

There's no way you'd go that route with him. You've made it clear to everyone that Seonghwa was your bestfriend and your bestfriend only. That people need to quit shoving the idea down your throat because you could never; he'd be lying if he said it didn't hurt to hear it.

"Yaya, you already know the answer to that." He says anyway and she pouts even more, leaning her head against his firm bicep.

"But you're the only one who knows how to handle her. She's such a handful but you've always stayed by her side."

"Mm, I don't think I necessarily had a choice." Yaya chuckles and gently swats his arm playfully.

"You two should just kiss and get married."

"Kiss and get married? Wow. What a plan." Soyeon says sarcastically, making Seonghwa laugh.

"No can do with that one." He places a small kiss on the top of her head before helping Soyeon with the last large luggage. "I gotta pick up Wooyoung and head to work. Text or call me if you need me." Seonghwa says.

"Make sure my baby cousin doesn't do anything reckless tonight when she's out with you guys? Like, I don't know, run to Mingi while drunk?" Seonghwa shakes his head at Soyeon's response.

"Won't let her out of my sight." He waves one last goodbye before settling into his car and driving off.

It's 20 minutes to Wooyoung's apartment, and another 15 to the university from there. When he arrives, Wooyoung tosses his own duffle bag in the back and plops into the passenger's seat before slouching into it.

"Did you find babygirl?" Wooyoung asks, making Seonghwa furrow his brows at him.

"Yes I did, and stop calling her that."

"Why, are you jealous? You can't gatekeep Y/N to yourself. I'm close to her, too." Wooyoung smirks.

"Shut up before I make you walk to work." Seonghwa glares at him. "It's not even that, it's just weird."

"Why is it weird?"

"Because it is."

"Because you love her?"

"Get the hell out—"

"I'm sorry! I'm kidding!" Wooyoung says in a high-pitched tone before laughing. "But, really, it's not weird."

"Yes, it is."

"She loves it and she's used to it. Therefore, I'll keep using it. Resting my case, your honor." Wooyoung snorts. "What happened last night anyway?"

"I don't know, she got into a fight with Mingi and walked out."

"He didn't come after her? It was pouring."

"Nope. She was gonna walk to.. I don't know, actually. She was just walking in the rain."

"That's not okay." Wooyoung sucks his teeth and does a slight head tilt. "They're toxic as hell to each other." Seonghwa shrugs.

"I know. I tried to tell her but at a certain point, that's all I can do. It gets really hard to control someone's behavior and police their actions."

"Can I ask you something?" Wooyoung looks at him with a small smile. "I'm genuinely curious."

"What?" 

"Why haven't you made your move on Y/N? Your feelings for her have always been obvious."

"Have they? Seems like she's the only one who hasn't seen it." Wooyoung shrugs.

"Yeah. I mean, you drop everything— and I mean everything— for her without question. And you get all affectionate with her!" His tone raises a bit. "You hate initiating affection! If that ain't love.." Wooyoung tilts his head again and squints at Seonghwa.

"She's my bestfriend. All of that happens naturally."

"It's not just that, and you know it. I know people really do put their bestfriends on a pedestal, but you put babygirl before anyone and anything. Even yourself." Seonghwa slightly winces at the Wooyoung's nickname before shaking his head.

"Not true."

"Very true. Look, dude. It's not bad, but I do hope you leave some space for yourself. I know she would never intentionally hurt you, but it still doesn't eliminate the possibility of getting hurt at some point. I don't want that to happen, especially if you've poured everything in her over these years." Seonghwa lets out a breath and pauses for a moment because for once, Wooyoung makes sense. And he's right. He has poured everything in you, continues to pour everything in you very willingly— sometimes, he doesn't even realize he's doing it. Sometimes, he doesn't even realize he's putting you before everything, that he's dropping everything for you.

Hell, it's even to the point where he can't even date properly and sleeps around from time to time to let out steam. It's because he just feels this attachment to you; an attachment past being your bestfriend— like some thread of hope he holds onto, thinking that some day, you'll see him in that light.

Someone who could genuinely, deeply and strongly love you, care for you, support you, with no boundaries.

"I know."

"Why don't you just tell her? You know, be honest." Wooyoung shrugs. 

"I don't wanna lose her, and I'm afraid I will if I do. I'm afraid I'll fuck everything up between us and change the dynamic just because I wanted to be selfish."

"I don't think you'd lose her. I'm sure she wouldn't let that change anything between the two of you, either. And why don't you think she'd go for it?"

"I just don't think she would."

"Maybe she's thinking the same way as you." Wooyoung sees the university in sight and starts to loosen himself up, getting ready to head out of the door as soon as Seonghwa pulls into a spot. "I think you should go for it, Hwa. You can't live like this forever. You love her, she should know. And if things don't work out, I doubt she'll let that change things between you two. You two understand each other well, and you both make sense together."

"Mm, yeah. Thanks." Seonghwa gives him a pursed smile before Wooyoung slips off his seatbelt and smiles.

"Guess that means I can tag along again tomorrow?" Seonghwa rolls his eyes and steps out of the car before slamming his door.

"I'll think about it, lazy ass."

♡ taglist: @hwasbabygirl @fairyofhueningkai @chngbnwf @tinyteezer @everyonewooeverywhere @pearbunny @mxnsxngie @starhwahwa @woosmaid @cheolliehugs @asjkdk @bintificreads @interweab

[gerec]

any fics which charles has the same vibe as Our House, In The Middle Of Our Street or Paper Monsters, aka fics in which Charles embarrasses himself due to the big crush he has for Erik.

Guys I have one more ask to answer after this one and then I'm officially taking a short break on answering rec posts. But I plan to pin a master post on my blog of the stuff I get asked most frequently for easy reference. Stay tuned and happy reading!!!

-------

Hi Anon, I believe the hilarious/charming fics on this list mostly fit the bill :D

best-laid plans by ikeracity

Charles decides that the best way to confess his feelings to his best friend is to surprise Erik at his apartment, naked, wearing nothing but a bow. It's perhaps one of Charles's worst ideas--or his best.

Order Up by ikeracity

Charles has a terrible habit of multitasking, and that is probably why he absentmindedly tells the pizza man that he loves him when hanging up.

Then the pizza man says it back. And Charles is pretty much smitten from there.

Favorite Mistake by endingthemes

Charles Xavier doesn’t think anything of it when he sneaks out without even saying goodbye to his latest one-night stand. What he doesn’t expect is to walk into his new position in the Xavier Industries marketing department and find that his latest hook-up is now his new boss.

erikhotfacelehnsherr by ikeracity

Charles has an embarrassing wifi password. When the subject of said embarrassing wifi password comes over, things get a little awkward.

going up? by annejumps

Charles encounters a hot man in the elevator. Charles assumes he doesn't understand English. Charles might be wrong.

Never Assume (Remix of going up?) by Fullmetalcarer

Charles fixates on a devastingly attractive lizard person who shares his turbo-lift and makes certain assumptions about their linguistic skills . . .

come as you are by scarlettblush

Hospital AU. The one where Charles unknowingly woos a coma patient with Pride and Prejudice. Years later, they meet again.

What Doesn't Kill You (Tactics and Strategy Remix) by pearl_o (don't forget to read the original!)

Charles is a graduate student with a crush on the professor he's TA-ing for and a side job at a strip club. Thankfully, his little sister is always full of helpful advice.

Smoke and Mirrors by dreamweavers

When newly paralysed Charles meets Erik in a coffee shop, a fit of nerves prompts him to project himself standing without need of his wheelchair. It all backfires when Erik asks him out on a date, forcing Charles to deepen his lies and, ultimately, face his fears.

Warning: Emergency Pull Tab by ikeracity

Knocking a guy over with an inflatable pool and nearly giving him a concussion is probably not the best flirting technique in the world, but if there's anyone who can pull it off, it's Charles.

Is it Erik with a C or a K? by ikeracity, kageillusionz

When Charles sexts his boss instead of his latest squeeze during one late night of report writing, the first thing he expects is a sexual harassment law suit and the last thing is Mr. Lehnsherr actually fucking him hard into his desk.

Infamous Ink by ConsultingWriter 

Charles has an embarrassing tattoo and a date with the no-nonsense, always professional, and terribly handsome Erik Lehnsherr.

The Wurst Case Scenario by sareyen

If anyone asked why Charles, come rain, wind or shine, made the significant trek during his dismal lunch hour to dine at "Edie's Kosher Delicatessen", he would stubbornly say that it was because their pastrami on rye and potato knishes were absolutely to die for. He wasn't completely lying, because the deli's namesake, Edie Lehnsherr, made the best matzah ball soup Charles has ever had in his life. Still, Charles would rather shave his full head of hair off than admit that the real reason he would willingly walk through hail and fire to get to the corner deli was because of Erik, the insanely attractive man working the counter.

[atlasofthestaars]

[MK X READER] New Era - Chapter .015

first part | previous part | next part

NOTE:

Yet again we’re hoping for less than three weeks update time. We’ll see how it goes now haha ^^

edit: I lost track of time. I keep on forgetting when I last updated.

Rain got in as a love interest, which does alter the story a bit! 

Reminder that I like to do canon divergence <3 

Would you guys like a collection of headcanons I’ve done for requests on AO3?? I usually don’t post them there because they’re pretty short but I can put them all into one book that I’ll update.

Also happy 100k+ words! I'm. I'm not ready to figure out how many words this will all be by the end.

FROM THE EYES OF SOMEONE WHO ENJOYS A MOMENT OF PEACE

“Things are getting rough.”

You stood upon the roof of a building, staring down at the destruction of the city around you. Outworlders mobbed the streets, terrorizing the innocent Earthrealmers. To describe it as “rough” was an understatement. It’s been two long years ever since the first invasions on Earthrealm started. It’s been nearly a year since you’ve moved out to the city along with the others to fend off where it was the worst.

Most of Earthrealm’s forces were sent here, along with Raiden, to defend the city. But there were a few that were scattered around the world to help other regions. Fujin and your father, for example, stayed behind to help the monks defend the Wu Shi along with others of the White Lotus. You missed both of them dearly, only being able to communicate with them occasionally.

You haven’t been able to visit Kung Lao’s grave in over a year. You only hoped that he understood why.

“Are you planning on going out again?” Liu Kang’s voice spoke. His voice dripped with concern. You turned your gaze away from the apocalyptic sight to your dear friend. It was a much better view than the one below. His eyebrows furrowed as he stared at you. You sighed and nodded before turning your gaze down to the view below. As disturbing as it was, you felt guiltier turning a blind eye.

“I have to, I don’t think Raiden and Johnny Cage are enough to take down that extermination squad they’ve sent out.” You said, crossing your arms. A light breeze passed by, sending the smell of smoke your way. You grimaced at the acrid scent. No matter how long you’ve been here, you’re not sure if you’ll ever get used to it. Especially with how you’ve become so accustomed to the much cleaner air at the temple. “That, and Nightwolf said he would enjoy my help to help recruit the two Raiden has been getting information on.”

“New recruits?” Liu Kang inquired. You nodded gravely in response. A hint of distaste seemed to linger with his words along with some confusion. You didn’t blame him, ever since you’ve been out here, you’ve never really gone and sought out other help. Well, you’ve wanted to, but Raiden had been hesitant in dragging others into this whole affair.

As if they weren’t already. Still, you saw the logic within Raiden’s decision, even though it was flawed. 

“Yes. Raiden says they have potential.” Out of the corner of your eye, you see your friend move. Was that a flinch? Or did he simply shift his weight? When you turned your gaze to check, you couldn’t tell. “I think it would be good to get more help. Our efforts are stretched out thin as it is.” You elaborate. Your hands go out to grasp at the concrete railing, gripping it tightly. You were certain by the time you let go of it, your hands would have the texture imprinted upon them.

“I still cannot believe that even after winning two tournaments and even I had nearly killed Shao Khan, it was not enough.” Liu Kang said, moving to stand closer to you. Bitterness coated his words. The distaste within his words felt strange, no matter how much more common it was becoming. You recalled back to the moment you had confronted him at Kung Lao’s grave. He was doing much better now, but you had felt like something had fundamentally changed within Liu Kang.

You could never truly pinpoint when that change happened. Was it when the invasions had started? Or maybe, was it when Kung Lao died? Part of you doubted it was either one of those, even if it sounded like it made sense. It was probably much earlier, maybe after Raiden had said Liu Kang was not the chosen one. Either way, he had changed. There was resentment that lingered in his soul, directed at Raiden. You could feel it with every interaction.

It worried you. Team morale was low enough as it were without the subtle drama between Liu Kang and Raiden. It was taxing enough to keep on a brave face in front of everyone, to pretend like everything would be alright. You didn’t know if you had enough spirit left in you to mend things together. With every day that you had to hide your dwindling confidence, you broke a little inside.

You should really talk to him, but you feared that it would lead to more issues. Maybe you were being irrational and over thinking things. You were all tired, maybe he was just irritated at how the world has essentially fallen apart.

Surely that must be it. Liu Kang was not one to dislike Raiden. If anything, he had been the one out of all three of you who had regarded him the highest. So it was illogical to think that he would suddenly dislike or even hate the god.

You were just being too worried. Maybe your logic has become weaker after pretending everything was alright for so long. That, and Liu Kang and Raiden were adults, or in Raiden’s case, more than an adult. They can figure out whatever dispute they had, if they even had one. They didn’t need you to coddle them. You had enough on your plate already, you could trust them.

Still, even with that conclusion, a pit of guilt formed in your stomach. 

Warmth radiated from Liu Kang, a detail that you noted as you were drawn from your thoughts. It enveloped you in a sense of security. You closed your eyes, and for a moment you had nearly forgotten how terrible everything was. You felt safe. You only indulged yourself in the sensation for a moment before you opened your eyes and forced yourself to look at the destruction below. You didn’t deserve to feel safe and comforted in a world that needed your help.

“I can’t believe it either.” You replied after a long, long moment. You didn’t know what else to say, because what else could you say? It was unbelievable to you as much as it was to him how awful things were, even after all your efforts. It felt like a perpetual punishment for something you’ve never deserved. None of you deserved this, and yet you were all saddled with the heavy responsibility of it.

The two of you stood on the rooftop, looking out at the horrors of the world for a long while. It wasn’t as if you enjoyed seeing it. Not at all, but you couldn’t bear holding a smile for the others right now. Being alone with Liu Kang was better for your soul at the moment. None of you spoke, either not knowing how to or unwilling to break the fragile silence that settled over the two of you. It wasn’t until you realized how much time had passed that the silence had been broken.

“I need to get going now.” You informed Liu Kang. “Nightwolf will be waiting for me.” You turned away, moving to walk away from the man. Then, you felt him grasp your hand. His grip was firm, but not harsh. Just enough to keep you there, but you could still shake his grip off if you needed. But you didn’t. Your gaze trailed up from the grip to his arm then settled on his face. “Liu Kang?”

“I-” He began. His hand trembled. For what reason you had no idea why. Worried, you turned to face him fully. You placed a hand upon his, trying to quell whatever had caused him to shake. His hand settled between yours. His gaze lifted, and for a moment that stretched into eternity, he stared into your eyes. There was a fire that seemed to burn in his eyes, then it slowly burned away into embers. A soft flush appeared on his cheeks, and it seemed he even stopped breathing. You rubbed the back of his hand with your thumb, trying to coax the words out of him. His hand twitched before squeezing yours. “I just want you to stay safe.”

You could tell immediately that isn’t what he wanted to say.

“I will.” You said, reassuring him. You didn’t know what he wanted to say, you just knew those weren’t the words he wanted you to hear. But you held no judgement for the man. He could tell you what he wanted to say in due time. There was no need to rush him. You simply smiled at him. You lifted his hand and pressed it to your chest so he could hear your heart’s beat. “This heart of mine won’t stop beating anytime soon, okay?”

A shy smile spread across his lips as he nodded. His gaze fixated on where his hand was spread upon your chest, feeling the steady heart beat.You could feel how his hand grew a bit warmer, a side effect you knew from him getting a little emotional, whether it be from sadness, joy, anything really. You stood there, letting him feel the reminder that you were alive for a few moments more.

“Alright.” You said, gently removing his hand. Though the man was tough as nails, you delicately removed his hand. You moved it down to his side before sending him a smile. “I’ll be back soon, hopefully with new recruits.” You assured him, giving him a nod. “You better stay safe too, okay?” You watched as the monk nodded slowly.

You left him on that rooftop, feeling the warm gaze of your friend follow your form as you descended down back into the base.

Waking up today was the first time in a few days where you did not feel mired in heavy emotion. That was not to say you didn’t feel at least a little somber, but you at least did not feel desolate. You didn’t think your bed could handle another frenzied episode. Your fingertips traced the sewn up areas a little guiltily. You were still hoping that it was enough to not make others not mad at you.

The last thing you’d want is to ruin the apparent fragile relationship between Outworld and Earthrealm over something silly like this.

You felt a little better at the idea that perhaps not all of your memories would be so heavy and dark. You swung your legs over the bed, and you moved through your morning routine with some grace. It was a small boost of confidence, but one you sorely needed. Maybe it was a little silly, but you didn’t linger on that type of thought process for long. 

As you stepped out of the bedroom, the last bits of your somber mood felt like they disintegrated when the sunlight touched you. You felt light, but there was still a slight chill in the air. It was hard to deny that you missed the warmth Liu Kang would give you within your memories. For a brief moment, you wondered if it would be silly to try and stand close to the god to feel if he had that same warmth. 

Right on cue, the familiar taps of princess Kitana sounded from the far hallway. As both of you made eye contact, you shared a nod in understanding. Both of you met halfway, falling into familiar step as you walked by her side. It felt familiar. You weren’t sure if it was because you’ve walked by Liu Kang’s side for years, or because of the implications of your memories that you might have walked by her side before.

It felt nice to have a companion to walk with, either way.

“I noticed you went around with the actor.” Kitana spoke, a tinge of amusement in her voice. You couldn’t tell whether she was amused at the idea of the actor, or you being with the man. “Or, rather, he dragged you around.” She quipped. You held back an exasperated sigh at the memory. Even the princess had noticed that?

“Yes, he was rather…” You trailed off, trying to think of the proper words to express your feelings without making a bad impression of the actor for the princess. “...persistent.” You watched her eyebrows raise, and she nodded. The very hint of a laugh left her lips. You blinked, you weren’t certain if that was the first time you’ve heard her laugh.

“I can attest to that.” She replied, a tone in her voice indicating that she understood, even if just a fraction, how stubborn Johnny Cage could be. “The actor would not leave me alone the day after the banquet.” She peeked over to you, a thoughtful look on her face. “Forgive me for saying that I had the thought to smack some sense into him.”

“I take no offense, I understand just how he is like.” You said, a laugh escaping your lips. “He’s rather stubborn whenever he wishes, but he has a good heart.” You said, hand raising to cup your own cheek. Your smile slipped into something that felt sentimental before it bounced back into its more friendly state. You shrugged causally. “Even if it isn’t apparent at first.”

“Such praises are more comforting coming from you rather than his own mouth.” Kitana said, and you could detect what you could only describe as a teasing lilt to her voice. You smiled warmly at it, and you saw how her own smile seemed to grow a little less professional and a little more genuine. It was like watching a flower blossom.

“I can imagine so.” You laughed, bringing a hand to muffle it. You could imagine Johnny bragging about himself to the princess, and her probably being annoyed at it. Or amused. Either way, you had a feeling that the impression he left upon the princess was not the one he desired. “I just hope he didn’t irritate you. Like I mentioned, he means well.”

“While he is persistent as any other who attempts to court me, he is far less brutish.” Kitana reassured you, making you feel a bit better about his flirting, “And, if anything else, he is amusing enough to listen to.” You let out another chuckle at the image of Johnny thinking he was wooing princess Kitana when in reality she thought him closer to a court jester.

“Don’t let him know that.” You informed her, making her quirk up an eyebrow. “He’s an…entertainer in Earthrealm. His ego would swell with pride at the idea that he at least amuses you.” You couldn’t tell if it was the trick of the light or not, but you swore you saw her roll her eyes at the premise of Johnny Cage’s ego swelling even more.

“I’ll keep that information in mind.” Kitana replied, a light tone to her voice. With that, the both of you arrived at the entrance to the Great Hall. She turned to look at you fully, a small smile still gracing her lips. “Enjoy watching the match.” She said, and you granted her the same sentiment. She walked off, content with your response.

To your surprise, Raiden and Kung Lao were not around yet, leaving only the fire god waiting in the Great Hall. You looked around. For a moment, you considered the possibility that you had arrived earlier. You then were quick to doubt that idea due to your walk with princess Kitana. She seemed to be very diligent on routine, so you doubted that you both would have walked out early.

“Where is Raiden and Kung Lao?” You inquired, moreso thinking about the former than the latter. It wasn’t like you didn’t fret over Kung Lao, it was just that the lack of Raiden appearing was strange. While Kung Lao was typically early, it wasn’t as if he didn’t allow himself to take more time to himself. Raiden, on the other hand, was always early. Almost to a fault.

“I am not certain.” Liu Kang replied, his voice calm. You looked over to see him composed as ever. He caught your gaze, giving you a small smile in return. Subconsciously, you found yourself standing near him. You noted the warmth he radiated. It was familiar, the same aura he had back in your memories. “I would not fret over it, I am certain they will be here in due time.”

“I know.” You said, and yet you found yourself biting at a thumbnail. Your gaze was cast downwards as you contemplated over the whole ordeal. “It’s just…odd.” You admitted. “He usually would be here by now. By he, I mean Raiden. Kung Lao sometimes shows up simply on time.” 

“Indeed.” Liu Kang nodded. You could feel his gaze still on you. It did not sear you, rather it felt gentle. It was much like how it would feel if you were to hover your hand over a candle to feel its warmth. “However, he is also not the type to show up late if it is an important event. I would not worry over it, it will simply cause more stress.”

“You’re right.” You replied. You felt called out at the last statement, but you knew it was for the best. After all, you weren’t the best at keeping yourself from not being stressed. It was supposed to be a friendly reminder. You took in a breath, straightening out your back before lifting your head up. You shouldn’t be stressed. 

A silence settled over the two of you. This silence was different from the comforting one you were used to. It was tense, like a string being pulled far too taut. You supposed it was your fault, you and your busy mind. That, and you've been finding it harder and harder to try and separate the man you remembered the god in front of you.

“Have you been enjoying your stay in Outworld?” Liu Kang spoke. His voice was soft. It was like a droplet of water falling into a still pond. It was so deliberate, so delicate, how he broke the tension. You turned your gaze, and saw the smile he sent your way. It was bittersweet, the way he smiled. It was exactly the same way you remembered. 

“I have.” You said. You weren’t keen on lying to the god, but you did feel a bit bad admitting it. You watched his face shift a tiny bit, but you couldn’t quite read if that had any significance. You turned away, finding it hard to see the way he smiled. “It’s very…different.” You told him. There was a hesitance to your words. 

Certainly you were struggling to find the right words because you didn’t want to make it seem like you were suddenly forsaking Earthrealm, but there was also something else to it. You enjoyed Outworld, you truly did. But you weren’t naive to blindly praise it to a god. There were, for all you knew, probably a darker side to this place.

The memory of seeing Shao Khan for the first time still lingered in your mind.

“I’m glad you have been enjoying it.” Liu Kang replied, a pleased tone to his voice. You felt his heat grow a little more. Curious, you glanced over to him to see he has stepped over a bit. He was standing so close that he was nearly brushing your arm with his own. “I hope you continue to enjoy your stay here.”

“How has your experience been for this trip?” You asked quickly, not wanting the tension to settle back in the air. You forced yourself to look at him, meeting those glowing white eyes. You wondered, just briefly, what caused the warm mortal eyes you once knew to become godlike. Was this just a new world where Liu Kang was deemed a god? Or was there more reason to it?

“It has been lovely.” Liu Kang said, seeming satisfied with the eye contact you gave him. “Not much has changed since the last hundred years since Outworld functions differently, but something about this time around has been more…” There was a pause as the god seemed to search the air for the perfect word to say. “pleasant.”

“I see.” You replied, but the words felt like a lie on your tongue. You understood the joys of being here, but not the reason behind why it was more enjoyable. The little voice in your head told you that you should know though. And you felt just a little dumb for not knowing the reason. Still, you kept the smile upon your lips. 

It was hard not to smile when Liu Kang was looking at you that way.

It didn’t take long for someone to show up. That person was Kung Lao. A broad smile spread across his lips as he sauntered in. As he laid eyes upon you and the god, his eyebrows raised as he looked around, probably searching for his fellow farmhand. When he did not see him, he walked over to you two and looked around once more, just to make sure.

“Where’s Raiden?” He asked, the confusion clear within his voice. You saw him cross his arms as once more, he scanned the room. He seemed more certain that his eyes were in the wrong rather than believe in the fact that his friend was simply not here. You supposed no one could blame him, you were just as unbelieving when you had arrived. 

“He's just a little behind.” You excused, trying your best to not show in your voice that you had felt the same way. You didn't want to cause a fuss. “I am certain he shall show in due time.” You saw the fire god nod in agreement, which only made sense since he had been the one to share that same sentiment. At your reassurance, you saw Kung Lao shrug nonchalantly.

“I guess so.”

Some more time passed, and despite your own words, you felt yourself getting antsy with every minute that the diligent man did not arrive. Kenshi had arrived at this point, sending the group a curious glance upon noting the disappearance of the champion. You felt your intertwined hands fidget and clench and unclench. The stare that Kenshi sent your way did not help either. He could do very well with being less obvious.

Finally, to relieve your worries, Raiden finally showed up with Johnny Cage at his side. You sighed as you walked over to Raiden. Your eyes raked over the man. He looked rather unkempt. His clothes were a bit of a mess, and his hat was a bit crooked. He seemed to be nearly on edge. Your tongue clicked as you reached out, adjusting his clothes and hat for him.

“You had us worried.” You admit softly, making sure that the man was presentable. After all, at this point, many of Outworld’s citizens were keeping an eye on Earthrealm’s strong champion. You sent him a small smile, trying to reassure him since you could see how tense he was on his face. You watched as his mouth opened to say something, probably an excuse, but you laid a hand on his shoulder to quiet him. “Hey, you’re here, that’s what matters. Plus, you’re not late either. Don’t worry about it, it’ll leak into your fighting”

“You’re right.” Raiden said, nodding slowly. You could see the nervous energy in him seem to melt away. His eyes closed as he took a deep breath in before releasing it. A small flush covered his cheeks, perhaps still from how he had rushed to get ready this moment. When he opened his eyes, he sent you a sunny smile that warmed your heart. “I will do my best.”

“I know you will.” You told him. You watched as Kung Lao handed over a few items for Raiden and Johnny Cage to eat. You could always rely on him for that. Raiden seemed most grateful at the gesture. Chatter among the group seemed to calm the former farmhand, and it was not very long until the usual proceedings occurred. 

“Young Raiden.” Sindel spoke, gazing down at Raiden. You were impressed with how she kept her smile seeming this warm and cordial despite the trend of her champions being taken down by Raiden no matter how the odds seemed. “You have…bested all the champions thus far with grace skill.” The empress commended, though there was almost a slight strain to her voice as she admitted it, it was very subtle, hardly noticeable. “Let us see if this next contender can match your might.”

Surprisingly, after being absent yesterday, General Khan was back to announce the next champion. 

“The next challenger is another one of my officers, Motaro.” The general spoke, his voice booming and echoing off the walls of the hall. The sound of hooves caught your attention, and you turned to see a centuarian walk into the halls. His stride was confident, and he walked in with his arms crossed. His gaze was tilted down already, almost glaring down at Raiden who was forced to look up at his opponent.

Despite being an officer, he lacked the same armor that both Kotal and Reiko had donned, being fully bare on his upper body. Only a silver belt concealing where a horse body fused into a human body was present as any sort of protection, and even then it was more decorative than anything. That is, until you spied the back of his horse body. A metallic tail more akin to a lizard’s was attached there. Your eyes lingered on the curve of his horns, finding them interesting. It seems that centaurians were not a simply a human fused with a horse body as Earthrealmers would believe.

You believe you’ve seen this man before, but whatever feeling you had was much weaker than it was for any other person you’ve met. Maybe this man was in your life for but a brief moment…still, if he was, it was strange your brain even felt like it recognized him. 

“Motaro is one of the centaurian’s finest.” General Shao bragged, seeming more enthusiastic to talk about Motaro compared to Kotal from the other day. Motaro lifted his head up to bask in the speech, an almost pleased look on his face. “With the tenacity of a bull and the might of one of the best warriors I have fought alongside, he is one of the best warriors in the legion.”

“Little man.” Motaro addressed Raiden curtly. He snorted as he continued to look down at the farmhand. His countenance returned to the look he had previously, but it was marred with a near sneer. His gaze felt nearly as sharp as his metallic tail did. You watched as Raiden took the comment in stride, bowing to his opponent, not fearing despite the size difference between them both.

“It is an honor to fight you.” Raiden told his opponent. You smiled at how polite he was to his opponents, even despite the lack of respect he was granted in return. Still, you wondered if that would remain that way in the future. While the thought of Raiden trying to smack talk his opponents was funny to think of, you hoped that nothing would hurt Raiden enough to take him in that direction.

Motaro’s fighting style was unique, suffice to say. His unusual body type, at least compared to what Raiden had normally fought against. He would charge in a brutish manner, using brute force to try and make the champion cower. Despite his bulk, he also maintained a lot of the battlefield control when Raiden tried to create space by being able to shoot projectiles from the metallic tail that you had spied earlier. 

Still, even with the trickiness of the fight, Raiden’s wit led him to victory. When he needed to close the gap, he would teleport behind Motaro. Due to Motaro’s body, he struggled to turn around and face the man before he was met with lightning that was strong enough to stagger even him. Sometimes, Raiden would realize that he would have to match the reckless nature of Motaro and surge right at him, catching the other man off guard.

It was no surprise to you to see that Motaro eventually collapsed. Taking deep breaths, Raiden looked down on his opponent, an ironic twist on the dynamic before. Except for Raiden, there was no hint of malice or disrespect in his eyes. Only warmth glimmered within his. 

“Thank you for the match.” Raiden told him humbly, a soft smile on his lips. You watched him reach out to try and attempt to help up his opponent instinctively. He almost seemed to flinch when he retracted it when Motaro denied the help. There was a mixture between a scoff and a huff from the centaurian, but ultimately he nodded before he walked off. You eyed the tail that almost seemed to drag on the floor, making a slight scratching sound.

“Congratulations on a well fought match.” You said, walking up to the once again successful champion. His smile seemed to grow as you walked towards him with a delighted expression. It was almost like seeing a child light up when you gave them the sweetest candy in the world. “Your technique is improving everyday.”

“I can only thank you, Lord Liu Kang, and the monks for preparing me for these moments.” Raiden replied, seeming to fall back onto his habit of being far too humble. You sighed and shook your head in disapproval of how he still didn’t consider his own skills into the fray. Still, it was endearing enough that you still smiled.

“Do not forget how much hard work you have also put in, Raiden.” Liu Kang reminded him, practically taking the words out of your mouth. You saw the god’s eyes flick over to you for a moment. Whether that was in reference to how you and Raiden had often stayed up late training or if it was a reference to how the god knew what was what you were going to say, you could not tell. 

“Yeah man, you killed it out there, even with sleeping in.” Johnny hopped into the conversation. You elbowed the actor at the mention of him sleeping in, maybe a little harsher than you should have after seeing how flushed the champion’s cheeks became. You heard the American clear his throat. “You gotta give yourself some credit, Raidude.”

“I will try.” Raiden said, a bit of hesitance in his voice. While it did seem to partially stem from the insistence from all of you that he should be giving himself more credit, you could also sense the hesitance coming due to the nickname Johnny had called him. You would never admit it, but the fact that even the kindest of your mentees seemed to hold a slight disdain towards the actor’s nicknames never failed to amuse you. Yet, all the same, the enthusiasm in him wanting to succeed and work hard on whatever his criticisms were shone through. 

After discussion with Liu Kang, like usual, your little group dispersed once more. For a moment, you swore you saw Kung Lao linger for a moment before he seemed to walk off with Raiden. You weren’t sure if your eyes were seeing things correctly, though. The man who did stick around was Kenshi, who soon found his way by your side.

“Ready?” The ex yakuza member inquired. His eyebrows were raised as he looked at you. The way he gazed at you seemed to tell you more words than he said, like how he was willing to wait for you if you weren’t. You supposed it only made sense, from what Kenshi had told you before, that the Yakuza would need to be subtle and communicate with others with even the slightest nod. Still, it was almost like a fresh breath of air compared to the others who seemed like an open book compared to the man beside you.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” You told him with a confident nod. Then, the both of you set off. The difference between the walk to Sun Do with Kenshi compared to Johnny was almost night and day. While it wasn’t completely silent, you both only had some chatter here and there. It didn’t feel like small talk, and comforting silence filled the air otherwise. 

You took this time to try and sneak some glances Kenshi’s way while he seemed to remain vigilant in staring on the path ahead. Out of all your champions, you considered the man beside you to be the one you understood the least. While you did attempt to get closer to the man through food, there was still a lot you had left to learn about him. He wasn’t as eager to dispense knowledge as the others, even if he wasn’t totally private about the past. 

The reason why Kenshi was so vastly different in this timeline compared to the other three was beyond you. It was a mystery you’ve been trying to unravel since you’ve met the man. His backstory was completely different, and the lack of powers he had previously made you question a lot about this life. Different backstories weren’t anything new, per se, but it was still strange how…different it was. From your memories of the world before, you could conclude that perhaps his lack of powers was from how he did not wield Sento. 

You’ve considered confronting Johnny about giving the swordsman the sword back, after all the actor had it for a rather petty reason, but you’ve never gotten too far in your plans. You couldn’t guarantee that talking to the actor would do any good, that man was rather stubborn, even in the face of reason sometimes. But there was also another reason you’ve held yourself back.

You were afraid that the sword would doom Kenshi to some kind of tragic fate. Your memories of Kenshi's previous story were hazy. You couldn’t tell if it was because you simply didn’t remember, or if it was because you never sought out to ask too much about it in the past. Either way, you were upset with yourself over it.

What you did know for certain, despite the lack of memories, was that in your previous life, he had been blinded due an incident that had something to do with the sword. Yes, he did gain powers that enabled him to be more than he was, but thought of losing his eyesight because of it and you potentially being the catalyst for that was more than you thought you could bear. It wasn’t as if you could warn Kenshi of the dangers, you’d sound insane.

Plus, you knew with the significance of that sword, your warnings might go unheeded. You had a sense that the ex yakuza member was selfless enough to be a martyr for the sake of his clan. The thought of him giving up his eyesight willingly squeezed your heart.

You were willing to craft a hat for Kung Lao, there were no flaws behind that as far as you could tell. But Kenshi’s weapon had a lot more weight to it. You wouldn’t know if the consequences behind that influence were the same, and if they would be less than the positives. There was a lot more to consider. Even if your decision that you would err on the side of caution, you still felt guilty that you could not help and provide the weapon that the man beside you craved.

“You’re glancing at me a lot, should I be flattered or concerned?” Kenshi inquired, snapping you out of your thoughts. You found that you were now meeting the swordsman’s gaze who held you with an intrigued look. With a scene that felt all too familiar, you felt your face heat up again. How you’ve let yourself space out and stare so obviously at your companion two days in a row, you had no idea.

“Flattered, I suppose?” You said, awkwardness soaking your words after you cleared your throat. You found yourself unable to maintain eye contact. Suddenly, the blue sky speckled with clouds seemed interesting. You felt your hand creep up to the side of your neck and press against it. Compared to the heat of your face, your hand felt like an ice cube. 

You didn’t know what excuse to say, or if you even should. Obviously, you couldn’t tell him the real reason why you were taking what you thought was sneaky glances. If you weren’t telling the god who took you in about your memories, you weren’t going to tell Kenshi. The issue was that now, you had no idea what excuse to even say, and you put yourself in a rather awkward situation because of it.

Despite this, it seemed that you didn’t have to. You heard a chuckle, and took a cautious peek to see Kenshi looking at you with a gaze that seemed free of judgement. His cheeks were tinged with pink. It seemed whatever excuse he had gleaned from what little you said satisfied him. You weren’t sure what his assumptions were, but at this point, you figured you were far too deep to ask what he thought it was.

This was the consequences of your lack of sneakiness, you supposed. You didn’t find yourself too upset though. It seemed to make him pleased enough, and that was enough for you. 

The rest of the walk to Sun Do left you feeling just a little lighter.

You both wandered into the city, deliberately leading him in a different direction you had gone with both Johnny and Raiden. You didn’t need to retread those places, you knew very well that you wouldn’t find the gift for Bi-Han you wanted in those shops. It would only waste precious time. You both went from shop to shop, peering at possible gift ideas with careful eyes.

Shopping with Kenshi was much different than the other two. With Raiden, he had been far too passive. He seemed to enjoy peering at the wares and agreeing with you more than scrutinizing the items. He4 didn’t provide any meaningful feedback in terms of whether the gift was appropriate or if it felt right. You didn’t blame him, you had a feeling he was far too elated by simply being in the heart of the capital. That, and he was the one who invited you to explore rather than shop. 

With Johnny, he had a completely different taste than you did. He often criticized your choices for being too “tame” or not flashy enough. Perhaps it wasn’t the worst opinion, you had gone for subtler gifts, but the gifts he offered before the ribbon had all been rather…gaudy and definitely didn’t fit the Lin Kuei. It was almost a miracle he had spotted the ribbon and offered it up.

Kenshi, on the other hand, was almost like the perfect shopping companion. His tastes seemed to align with what you were searching for, so that was a far better companion than Johnny. Not only that, but he was very inquisitive and seemed to take every comment you said to heart. You couldn’t resist a smile as you realized this nature was the exact reason why you had chosen Kenshi in particular to critique your cooking. 

“How about this?” Kenshi inquired, lifting up an intricate blue sash. You hummed as you leaned in close to peer at the fabric. You plucked the item that was draped over his hands, your fingertips brushing against the inked surface. You lifted up, studying the details. Then, you squinted at it more as you tried to imagine Bi-Han wearing this sash. Your nose wrinkled at the fact that you could not conjure up that image.

“I think we should stray away from accessories like this.” You concluded. “I don’t think Bi-Han would find himself wearing anything in accompaniment to his uniform.” You explained. The swordsman nodded as he took your words into consideration. You handed back the sash to him so he could place it back. With careful precision, he folded the sash before delicately placing it back into its former spot. Had you not known the man, you would have never guessed his dark past with how he carried himself in his actions. 

You scanned the area, looking for other ideas while Kenshi also perused the store. Nothing in particular for the grandmaster caught your eye. This store was mostly filled with accessories, which was not the type of gift you could imagine giving Bi-Han. And yet, despite this, something did catch your eye. You walked closer to get a look.

It was a set of five rings. Though they looked initially plain, the closer you inspected them, you saw the beauty within the craftsmanship. They were intricately engraved, small patterns dancing along the metal. But the part that caught the eye the most was the gorgeous gems set into each of them. Each one had a different color, gold, pink, blue, green, and red. You marveled over the rings and were pleasantly surprised to see that the rings had some minor magic, so they could be resized on their own. 

You looked and saw they had a special deal if you bought the whole set. Your eyes lingered on the rings for a moment more. How perfect this would be as a gift for your champions. A smile appeared on your face as you thought about it. You glanced back at the bag where you held your gold. Maybe if you had left over gold you could come back for these. 

“I don’t think this place has what I’m looking for.” You told the swordsman, striding over to him. You stood slightly in the way of the rings. You didn’t think he’d notice them since it didn’t align with the idea you had for Bi-Han. But still, you wanted to keep it a surprise, just in case. Luckily, it seemed that Kenshi hadn’t noticed where you had gone.

“I agree, especially since this place is geared towards accessories.” Kenshi replied. He nodded in the direction of the door, his hand gesturing for you to lead the way. You did just that, managing to glance back at the rings one last time. You knew that if you did, Kenshi would be likely to notice with how much he’s been noticing your stares. Then again, you supposed that’s because your stares towards the swordsman were rather…obvious. Still, you wouldn’t put it past him to notice the little things.

And so, both you and the ex yakuza member were back on the streets. But not for long. This time, Kenshi pointed out a shop. At first, you hesitated, gazing at all the porcelain cups and teapots. You weren’t certain if these ceramics would be an ideal gift, but then your eyes landed on a particular teapot set in the window. You were so fascinated by it that you stepped inside to get a better look.

The teapot set in question was delftware styled. The blue painted ceramic was decorated to be depicting a snowy wonderland with snow leopards as the main focus. Your eyes studied the set carefully, marveling over it. It had some gold accents around the rim, giving it that extra pop. It even came with a little tea pet, a snow leopard. At first, you couldn’t imagine gifting Bi-Han such an item, but the more you marveled over it, the more you couldn’t imagine giving him anything else.

“With the way you’re looking at that, I think I did my job.” Kenshi remarked, walking up next to you. You smiled over to him, and you saw on his face a very pleased expression. He crossed his arms as he took his gaze from you over to the set. “It’s miraculous how cheap these items are here, back in Earthrealm, these would be worth a fortune.”

“I can’t believe it either.” You agreed with a nod. You eyed the price. It definitely was cheaper than you would expect, but the quality didn’t seem terrible despite it. Looking at it for a few more moments, you nodded once more. “I think this is the one.” You told your companion. Kenshi hummed, his eyes lingering on your decided gift before pointing to something else. 

“While we’re at it, you should probably get him some tea.” The swordsman recommended. Your eyes landed on the displays of various teas they had. You walked over, noting how they felt similar in style to the dried teas you served for Madam Bo. On a closer look, some of the teas even appeared to be the same. For a brief moment, you wondered whether a long time ago Earthrealm had some of their teas imported here. It didn’t seem too far off an idea.

You scanned the various teas they had on display. For a moment, you considered picking a tea unique to Outworld. But then you considered how awful it’d feel to gift something that he might enjoy, but then never be able to savor once again in his lifetime. For that reason, you decided it might be better to chose something that he may be able to get at home. 

One particular tea caught your eye.

You grabbed the box of the high quality tea, inspecting it. You had never considered this to be made into tea. You couldn’t help but to smile down at the box, too amazed at the fact that tea was a thing. You held it up to show to Kenshi who quirked up a brow.

“Parsley tea?” He asked, eyeing the box carefully. His voice sounded skeptical. You shrugged, but you already knew that the moment you had laid eyes on this particular type of tea, you were going to buy it. Something within you simply told you that it just fit him. That, and you couldn’t deny that you were interested in how it tasted. From the look Kenshi gave you, he seemed to know you were already set in your ways.

With a little pep in your step, you walked over to the Outworlder at the counter. After discussing which set you wanted along with the parsley tea, you soon found yourself back onto the streets with a very nicely wrapped gift in your hands. As you were walking back, satisfied with your findings today, you spied the shop with the rings you had looked at earlier. 

“Could you hold this for a moment?” You asked the man. You swiftly handed him the gift and quickly walked off into the shop, ignoring the perplexed look the swordsman had sent you. You couldn’t blame him, you had said you only needed one more gift. 

Stepping inside, you were thrilled to see that the rings you had your eye on were still there. Elated, you quickly asked the clerk for the rings. The centaruian seemed more than happy to oblige, giving you a few boxes to carry them in. You slipped the gold one on, eyeing how the light seemed to reflect off of it perfectly. The rest you slipped into your bag. You wanted to keep them a surprise for now.

Checking the money you had left, you were delighted to see you had enough to buy one more gift. That would be reserved for Liu Kang. 

“Find everything you needed?” Kenshi inquired. He peered at you, his eye catching the sight of your new found accessory. You nodded, beaming happily at the man. You reached out, hands extended to take back the boxes. Despite this, you found the man pulled away from you, boxes clutched securely to his own chest. “It’s fine, I don’t mind carrying them.” He insisted.

“I don’t want to burden you with them.” You said, furrowing your brows. You made a reach for the boxes again, but the man simply side stepped your attempt. You sighed, placing a hand on your hip. “This is rather childish of you, Kenshi.” You chided, trying to see if you could convince him to give back the gifts. And yet, despite your words, the man was adamant. You sighed once more, shaking your head. “If you insist.”

“I do.” The swordsman quipped back, a victorious tone in his voice. You resisted an eye roll and made your way back to the palace. Once there, you led the ex yakuza member back to your room since he insisted on helping them carry them back all the way back there. As you finally regained the packages, you peered at him for a moment before opening your door. “Wait a moment for me, okay?” You asked.

You stepped into the room, placing your packages along with the other gifts you’ve bought. You removed the rings from the bags, admiring them once more. For a moment, you considered bringing them all in so you could give them at dinner time, but then you paused, remembering you hadn’t gotten Liu Kang’s gift quite yet and how awkward it might seem. Plus, you fancied the idea of giving the gifts privately. It would seem more personal that way.

“Thank you for waiting.” You said as you strode out. You placed your hands behind your back, hiding the little box. You supposed you were as sneaky as a toddler attempting to hide whatever mess they’ve made, because Kenshi quickly sent you a questioning look and leaned over to try and peek. “Here.” You handed over the box, scanning his features for his reaction. “A gift.”

“You didn’t have to.” Kenshi said, his voice shocked. He tried to hand back the box to you, but you pushed into his hands. After that, he relented. He scanned the box, probably trying to guess the present before he opened the box. You felt elated as you watched his surprised reaction to the ring. He lifted it up, watching with amazement as he slipped it onto his finger and it fit perfectly. “This is…” He trailed off, trying to find the right words.

“They’re beautiful, aren’t they?” You remarked. You held up your hand to showcase your golden ring. “I thought this would be the perfect present for all of us.” You then gestured to the red ring. “I chose that color specifically for you.”

“Why red?” Kenshi inquired, looking between the ring on his hand and you. You smiled at him, a small laugh leaving your lips as you looked directly into his eyes.

“Simple. I think it matches your eyes wonderfully.” You explain to him. A soft flush appeared on Kenshi’s face, and he appeared to have been stunned into silence. His mouth closed, then opened, then closed once more. Then, a soft smile appeared on his face as his gaze cast downwards to the ring on his hand once more.

“Thank you.” Kenshi mumbled softly. You grinned at him and placed a hand on his arm. 

“No problem, I’m glad you like the gift.” You told him. “Now let’s go, I’m hungry.” You walked off, leading the way. You missed the fond gaze Kenshi sent you way, taking one more glance between the ring and you before following you.

Dinner went smoothly, and it was just as delicious as before. You were tempted to make plans to go shopping for some Outworld type of seasonings before you left so you could cook up some food the reminded you of this place. Maybe if you had left over money after Liu Kang’s gift.

It was yet another wonderful night in the garden. You basked in the moonlight as you waited patiently for the princess to emerge from the palace. You perked up as you heard the familiar sound of heels, and smiled as your eyes landed on the princess. 

Oddly enough, there was not the more prestigious and refined look that she usually held. Her face held something that reminded you of the first time you encountered her here. She seemed…upset. You raised your eyebrows as she drew near. When she noted you in the spot, her face shifted, masking her previous attitude with a smile.

It reminded you of Empress Sindel’s smile towards Raiden.

“Are you alright?” You inquired, testing the waters. You saw her smile strain, like a string being pulled nearly too taut. Her hands, which had been folded in her lap, squeezed together as if she were squeezing out her frustration. 

“I’m fine.” Mileena replied, her words clipped. You couldn’t sense any hostility within her words, but you could tell that asking about her situation would probably be unwise. You didn’t blame her, you weren’t that close after all. You nodded slowly, taking her attitude into consideration. “How have you been?” She inquired quickly, eager to divert the topic of conversation.

“I’ve been fine, I went and shopped more today.” You told her with a smile. You could read the signs of her frayed nerves and played along with her plan, changing the conversation away from herself. You saw her eyes dart to your hands. You looked down and saw the ring. You lifted your hand to showcase it, allowing her to get a better view.

“I can see that.” The princess observed. She leaned in closer, analyzing the accessory and how it fit on your finger. You saw her expression change slightly, going from a more fake look to a more genuine smile. She looked at it for a few moments more before leaning back and looking at you. “It suits you, you have a good eye.”

“Thank you.” You replied, staring down at the golden gem which shone so prettily in the moonlight. You smiled, still feeling the high of making a satisfying purchase. You paused, considering what to talk about next due to her slightly antsy mood. “How was your day, princess? I’m excited to see how you fare against Earthrealm’s champion tomorrow.”

“My day was alright.” Mileena replied, her eyes looking away into the garden. There was almost an empty tone to her voice, as if she were not telling the entire truth. She rolled her shoulders back as she cleared her throat. “I…” She began, then paused, her face scrunching a bit as she seemed to ponder on the words she would say next. “I am interested to see how I fare against him as well.” She replied, the same smile from earlier appearing on her lips. 

You couldn’t tell entirely, but you could sense the aversion towards the topic of fighting. Was it that she was nervous? You scanned her. No, it didn’t seem so. But the reason behind her distaste towards the topic was one you weren’t certain of.

You couldn’t quite ask her about it either.

“What story would you like to hear today?” You inquired, quickly changing the subject. You saw her posture relax a bit, and what must be a breath of relief left her lips. Very subtle actions, but actions you noticed. You suspicions were definitely correct, she had some type of issue with fighting Raiden, or the topic of it. 

“Anything light hearted would do.” The princess requested, the relief of the topic change showing on her face. You pondered on this, humming as you considered the various stories and movies you’ve seen. What could possibly cheer her up? You smiled as you recalled the first movie you saw and turned to face her.

“Alright, then how about this one?”

That night, you didn’t quite know why she was upset, but you knew you uplifted her spirits.

part sixteen

tagged - @bonezisded @lollipopin @simpxinnie @zhivaxo @koisuko

[jennapancake]

The Diner.

Stalker Barty Crouch Jr x Muggle Reader Headcannon.

Summary: Inspired by Billie Eilish's new song, The Diner. Barty's in love, he just can't show it in normal ways.

Warnings: Stalking, implied offing, kidnapping, rejection.

Barty who was having food at a diner, Pandora suggested when you walked in.

Barty who immediately couldn't take his eyes off of you as you smiled the prettiest smile he's ever seen in all seventeen years of his life.

Barty who was practically falling out of his seat in order to glimpse at whatever made you giggle, that angelic giggle.

Barty who missed the worried and knowing look on Pandora's face.

Barty who excuses himself when he sees you stand up to use the bathroom just to use the excuse to bump into you.

Barty who is practically tripping over himself at the way you look up at him through your eyelashes, a sweet smile on your face as you apologize.

Barty who is tired of being told no after you refuse to give him your phone number

Barty who watches you leave the diner, Pandora hopeful this time Barty accepts defeat, oh how she knows he won't.

Barty who follows you home and watches your house from the corner of the street for days, weeks even.

Barty who tracks your daily activities for months, rain or shine.

Barty who breaks into your house after a month of watching you.

Barty who knows you're the love of his life. Whether you know it yet or not.

Barty who writes you letters from that same booth in that same diner he first saw you, his true love. How romantic, right?

Barty who breaks in again and leaves the letters on your kitchen table.

Barty who can't be arrested by the cops because he has magic and can just “convince” the cops otherwise.

Barty who leaves you angry, threatening letters for calling the cops on him.

Barty who steals things slowly over time from your house. What does it matter? Soon you'll be his anyway.

Barty who gets mad seeing you in the passenger seat of another man's car.

Barty who's already plotting that man's worst nightmare after seeing him kiss your cheek.

Barty who pays your little guy friend a visit that same night.

Barty who decides enough is enough. He's tired of you playing hard to get so he breaks into your house and finally takes what's his.

Barty who can feel it, this time the girl will fall in love with him. You will fall in love with him. No matter what it takes.

Amortentia should help, just can't run out of it again.

He's not crazy, he's just in love.

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ::: So, I was trying to work something out about Kafka's ass and the sparse amount of hair on it that he's self-conscious about but holy god, I couldn't do it. I started like 4 different things, all of which were not even close to what I was going for. So, here we are. With another idea I had about Florist!Kafka. I had this idea yesterday, I think. Thank goodness I can check this off of my to-do list. There are too many now. It's getting bad, guys. My feelings for this man are becoming an issue lol. Anyway. I about vomited when I finished this because the ending could not have been more perfect (for me?). I love it. I hope you guys like it too!

C/W ::: None. Just more smooshy lovey shit. Sorry not sorry. Maybe I'll carry on with this after the fact. Idk. Let me know if I should whip something up for later? Like after the initial thingy happens?

WC ::: 621 ish

Florist!Kafka has seen you walk past his little pop-up shop every day for the last 2 weeks and he feels like if he doesn't get to talk to you, he'll burst. He does what he can to get your attention and he'll smile at you. You smile back, politely, sure. But that's becoming not enough. He wants to talk to you. With you.

Florist!Kafka has had enough when he sees you making a run for it from one side of the street to the other when it's raining and he's sitting comfortable and dry under the large umbrella that covers his portable cart. He calls out, jogging toward you with an extra umbrella he has.

Florist!Kafka who trips over his own feet and goes flying through the air, knocking you over, too. You're both laying in the biggest puddle you've ever had the displeasure of encountering. Not only that, but he's lying on top of you, face to face. You can feel his breath fanning across the bridge of your nose.

Florist!Kafka who jumps up faster than he ever has gets right to work on helping you, making sure you're ok and that you didn't hit your head or anything like that. He apologizes profusely, offering you to come sit down at his cart to rest for a moment - to collect yourself, were his exact words.

Florist!Kafka who wanted nothing more than for you to take him up on the offer so he could spend more time with you. More importantly, so he could ease his mind and actually see you get some rest. You're always rushing off to one place or another and he wants to see you just "BE".

Florist!Kafka who is delighted beyond words when you agree to go sit with him for a moment, "to collect yourself," as he put it. You thought it was sweet how he was fussing over you. He wouldn't take no for an answer when he offered you a bottle of water. So, you took it, graciously. Thanking him for his kindness but reiterating that he doesn't have to go through this much trouble for you.

Florist!Kafka who disappears around the other side of his mobile stand for a couple of minutes and comes back with a single yellow rose with a bunch of black tulle floofed up around the stem and an unnecessary apology for you. He blames his uncharacteristically clumsy nature on how pretty you are - this isn't the first time you've made him slip up.

Florist!Kafka who blushes when he sees how happy his observation (and the rose) made you. He wants to ask you out so badly but he's not feeling the bravest right now - despite his ability to fight actual monsters when he's really "working". Love is a beast he has not conquered yet. Though he's reveling in the strength you give him just from being there. He could kill a thousand kaiju after a single kiss from you.

Florist!Kafka who hopes you are ok when he lets you leave him to go off and take a second shot at your day. He watches you all the way until you turn the corner at the end of the block and disappear. He smiles for the next 15 minutes straight because he got to be with you for a short amount of time. But still, he had some lingering thoughts.

Florist!Kafka who worries you won’t find the little note he put in the tulle. 

Florist!Kafka whose lingering thoughts were all shattered when his phone alerted him to a new notification; a text. From you! He opened his phone, scrolling right away to read the message ...

"Meet me where I fell for you. Come hungry. - Y/n"

@kazutora-kurokawa @southside-otaku

@reiners-milkbiddies @darkstarlight82

@bakubunny @supersecretsaga @katkusuo

[normanbateswife]

head trauma

Phillip Graves x fem!reader

warnings: heavy insinuations to smut, couple dirty jokes (i couldn't help myself im sorry), canon level violence, graves is an asshole^tm but he comes back around i promise, reader gets knocked out and has to go to the hospital. i think thats it lemme know if i missed anything!

7.5k words

“Are you coming drinking with us?” Gaz questioned. He was slowly but surely starting to take off his layers of protection so that he was in street clothes once more. You were doing the same. You stretched your arms out as you shook your head gently. 

“No, I’ve gotta get to bed,” you said, half yawning. It had been a long one today. It was always a long one. You were so used to not returning for days on end that you were never quite sure what day it was. Price had a good way of making it seem not as bad as it was. 

“One drink?” Gaz pleaded. You shook your head. You ran your hand through your hair. You couldn’t remember the last time you had washed it. You were eager to scrub the dirt off of you. You hadn’t felt clean in so long. 

“Rain check. I’ll see you guys again soon.” 

“You’re missin out!” Soap called from behind the row of lockers you were standing between. You scoffed, shoving your things into your bag. He walked around the corner and leaned against the rusty row. “Gaz promised a karaoke show.” You scoffed, a hearty laugh escaping your lips. 

“You gonna sing Mr. Brightside for the guys?” you questioned. Gaz was uniting his boots so you leaned down to eye level. “I would hate to miss that.”

“Well you aren’t missing out on anything,” he promised. “I’m going home before anyone reaches the karaoke machine.” 

“Bummer,” you pouted. “I’ll catch you guys next time, I promise.” You slung your bag over your shoulder and gave Soap a pat on the back as you walked past him. When you turned the corner to leave the room you almost rammed into Price who was standing and waiting with his own things. He looked weird after a mission. Without the hat you swore you wouldn’t be able to recognize him in the streets. 

“Who is he?” Price questioned. You rolled your eyes defensively. 

“Who is who?” 

“The guy you’re seeing.” 

“Well currently I’m looking at you Captain.” 

“Don’t play coy. We know it’s someone!” Soap called. You smiled slyly and pushed past Price. It smelled like boys in here. You had almost gotten used to the odor. You were so used to being one of the only girls in the room. But honestly, when you were with this group you hardly could tell that you were technically the odd one out. You trusted these men. That was saying a lot. 

But if they found out who you were going to see they might not be as happy as you were. 

“I don’t question you guys about your love lives, I expect the same treatment,” you said, putting your hand on Price’s shoulder. “You don’t have to worry about me.” 

“I like worrying. It keeps me young,” he said, tilting his head down to look at you. “You be safe. I know you can handle a gun and I expect you will if you need to.”

“No worries Captain. I’m going to go home now okay? Have fun tonight. Don’t stay out too late!” 

“Yes ma’am!” Gaz called jokingly. You rolled your eyes as you left the room and then left the building. 

The night was chilly and you regretted not grabbing one of your jackets. There was a light dampness in the air, caused by the rain from earlier in the day. A black car was humming by the curb. You tightened the grip on your backpack and approached it. 

You came around the corner and opened up the passenger door. 

Phillip Graves leaned over the center console. 

“What took you so long?” he grumbled. Despite his tone you could see the anticipation in his eyes. It was easy to think that he had the upper hand in the relationship you were sharing. But the look in his eyes gave him away. He was so used to making decisions for his team, life changing decisions, that when you held him in your hands he gave you the power. 

So despite his tone, you smiled at him as you sat down. He didn’t move and waited between the seats as you turned to him. You kissed him, the small grin remaining on your face as you remembered the feeling of his lips again. They were a comfort for you now. They were familiar. 

“Had to escape the guys,” you said against his lips. 

“Mhm,” he hummed deeply. “Always surrounded by so many guys. You know, I have this great group you might like.” You rolled your eyes. 

“Yeah I heard the Commander’s an asshole.” 

“Sweet as candy though,” he promised. You could still feel his breath against your face. You squinted, teasingly. 

“Tastes like cologne, I don’t know how sweet that is.” You kissed him again briefly then backed away, much to his demise. He put the car in drive with a low rumble. Graves put his hand on your knee. You could feel a soft warmth in your chest. 

You never expected to have something to come home to. Someone you adored, someone you needed. 

“I need an intelligence officer,” he said, voice suggestive. 

“What happened to your current intelligence officer?” you asked. He glanced at you, eyes remaining on the road but catching your emotions. 

“He walked onto a bomb.”

“Why was he in the fi-”

“Good question.” There was a gloom in his voice. 

“Shepherd still making decisions over there?” 

“I have a feeling he’s going to for a little while longer.” He glanced at you again. “Not everyone can have John Price.” You scoffed at his insinuation that you had it easy. Regardless, you pushed on his problem and not him deflecting onto you. 

“What’d he do?” 

He was quiet for a minute. 

“Just made some shit decisions. Doesn’t matter. I still need an intelligence officer. You could see me more.” 

“Just so I can get caught sleeping with my superior?” 

“We can still save the fucking for home,” he promised making you laugh gently. “Though you’d look amazing at my desk. I’ve got a whole office you know.”

“Windows?”

“Blinds.” You smiled slyly. You were about to open your mouth to counter with something coy when your bag started to buzz. You reached in it, digging out your phone. It was your work phone with no Caller ID. “Who’s that?”

“The other guy I fuck when I’m in town,” you said absentmindedly. He rolled his eyes but you missed it. You put the phone to your ear. “Hello?” 

“You forgot your jacket.” It was Gaz. You pursed your lips suspiciously. 

“What is it Kyle?” 

“You forgot it. You’ve gotta come back and get it.” 

“I’m already halfway home.”

“Did you call a cab?” 

“Gaz, back off. I’m fine.” There was some commotion on the other line. Philip was not so secretly trying to figure out what was being said so you put the phone on speaker. You reached your other hand up and put it over his mouth. He glanced over at you, a suggestive look in his eyes but didn’t spit your hand away. 

“Soap is gonna steal your jacket.”

“I have others. Are you guys already at the bar? I just left.” 

“Still here. You missed out on a stellar Price pep talk.” 

“It wasn’t a pep talk!” you could hear Price call. You rolled your eyes.

“Be safe bye bye Gaz.” You hung up the phone and removed your hand from Philip’s mouth. 

“You never do the mouth covering. Maybe you should try it,” he suggested. 

He pulled up to his place. Graves lived in a small house. It was in a nice neighborhood. There wasn’t a hint of crime around the property and not a hint of children. This was a place for old people who retired and couldn’t go up two story stairs. You weren’t sure if Graves had picked it for the lack of families or if he just wanted somewhere no one would look for him. Despite that, you enjoyed being there. You felt sort of … special. How many coworkers and hookups had been to his house? 

Graves liked it because when he watched you go inside he could almost imagine a life where he wasn’t being threatened every other day. The idea of a home and a wife…maybe a couple kids. That was appealing to him. He could picture Christmas and mornings before school and your smile in bed. 

Well, he didn’t need to exactly imagine your smile in bed. 

He followed you inside, locking his car and shutting the door behind him. You had used the spare key on top of his door frame. 

“You do need an intelligence person. Key on top of the door? Phillip. That isn’t very intelligent.” 

“Oh you’re very smart.” 

You tossed the spares onto the couch and slipped off your shoes. You were going to speak again when you turned around but were quickly cut off by Philips lips against yours. You hummed, relaxing. He gripped your thighs, touching you like you were his lifeline. He hiked up your shirt so that he was touching your skin. You molded into him. His lips tasted like beer permanently. The bitter taste had started to grow on you. 

“You taste so good,” he breathed. He was eager, quiet, stumbling around. You could walk backwards into his room blindfolded. You knew the feel of his bed frame against the back of your thighs. You knew the air change and the fan that was permanently turned on in the corner. He was kissing you and you were leading him and you couldn’t remember the last time you felt this good. 

How long could you do this? How long could the two of you last, sleeping together in his home when you were both around. How long could you exist in the home that isn’t yours with a man that wasn’t yours either? How long could he last knowing you were always out there with guys who wanted you? 

The kisses were always empty promises. 

I’ll be here when you wake up. 

I’ll tell you if I have to leave. 

We’ll eat breakfast together. I’ll make your coffee. You can kiss me before I leave. 

We’ll be back together at the end of the day. 

As you started to drift off that night he put his hand on your side and pulled you closer to him. He didn’t know if he would live to see next week with Shepherd calling his shots but he could have you right now. You unconsciously nuzzled against his back. His arm slung over your waist and kissed your bare shoulder. 

He was half awake. Drifting between the inbetween, not quite sure if your skin was even real. His eyes had been shut for five long minutes and they would remain shut throughout the night. His judgment was impaired. He was drunk on your sticky skin. You still smelled of him. 

“‘M love you,” he whispered. 

You opened your eyes but he didn’t flinch. He must not have recognized what he said. 

“I love you too Phillip,” you told him back. If he heard it or not you couldn’t tell. You fell asleep with the words in the air, hanging around like large bolded letters that were painted on the walls. 

-

The phone was ringing. Graves could hear it faintly. It was muffled by sleep, like it was in another room. He picked up his hand lazily, surprised to land on skin. He raised his head, squinting in the darkness. His eyes landed on your sleeping face. He allowed for a brief smile to pass his face as he remembered the feeling of your lips and the words leaving them. 

Then he picked up the phone, not even looking at who it was. 

“Graves,” he mumbled groggily. He laid his head back down on the pillow. 

There was silence on the other end of the phone for a moment but he could hear breathing. His senses were keen even when he was half awake. 

“Hello?” he grumbled. You turned around which caused him to groan in annoyance. He pulled the phone away from his ear and wrapped an arm around your shoulders to pull you close. You didn’t complain. “Go back to sleep,” he grumbled. 

“Who is it?” you whispered against his chest. 

“Dunno.” He put the phone back to his ear. “Hello?” he asked again. 

“I dunno it’s some fuckin guy!” the voice over the phone complained. There was some clanging, mixed with loud music. Footsteps approached the phone. 

“Who the fuck is this?” a deep, british voice asked. In his state Graves had no idea who was speaking. He genuinely thought he had picked up his own phone. 

“Graves,” he repeated. He opened his eyes wider and let out a sigh. “Who is this?” 

“It’s fuckin Graves,” the british voice said. There were even louder voices. Phil was about ready to hang up. 

“Shadows Graves?” another British voice asked. That voice he recognized. A certain Captain of a certain girl in his arms. He moved the phone away from his face and looked at the name on the screen of your personal phone. MacTavish. 

“Oh Jesus Christ,” Phil mumbled. 

“Hmm?” You tilted your head up to look at him. 

“She’s sleeping with fuckin Phillip fuckin Graves?!” a scottish accent called in the background. The phone was snatched away. “Y/L/N.” 

“Is that Price?” you asked quietly. “Why are you on the phone with Price?”

“Unintentional.” You grabbed the phone away from him. 

“Captain?” You sat up, holding yourself up by your elbow. Philip grumbled sleepily and buried his head in the pillow beside you. 

“Where are you?” 

“Where are you? Why are you calling?”

“MacTavish called for you but you didn’t answer,” he grumbled. “Where are you?” 

“Price-” Someone else grabbed the phone. 

“Phillip Graves huh?” Soap asked into the phone. “Did you get him tested? The man is a walkin douchebag.” You scoffed. 

“Not to mention your superior!” Price said beside him. 

“He’s jealous it wasn’t him,” you grumbled jokingly. Soap laughed. He was drunk, you could tell from the giggle. “What do you need Johnny?” 

“I need a drinking partner but I see you’re all tied up.” 

“Not anymore,” Phillip promised beside you. You nudged him. 

“Johnny,” you muttered. “I’m going to bed. I’ve had a long day-”

“Long night from the sound of it.” 

“Goodnight.” You hung up the phone and tossed it aside. You fell back onto the pillow. Phil’s face was smooshed against the comforter. You brushed his hair aside and rested your hand over his waist. 

“You mean what you said earlier?” he grumbled against the fabric. 

“Didn think you heard that.” You paused. “Yes.” 

There was a long silence. 

“Me too.” 

-

You were surprised to find Phil still sleeping when your alarm went off. You pressed snooze and sat up, forcing yourself to open your eyes. There were a couple of sleepy moments where you looked around in the dark, rubbing your eyes in confusion. You knew the comforter. You knew the hand resting on your lap. Usually Phil woke up leagues before you did and was gone by the time you rose. You reached over and grabbed his phone. Maybe it had died. He had a shitty habit of forgetting to charge it. It was on. He just didn’t set a time to get up. 

In the uncomfortable morning air, you smiled. 

He had said he loved you. 

You looked down at his sleeping figure. It was cliche but it hit you like a truck. He looked so calm. He was usually so riled up. It was odd to see him silent, not mouthing off, no gun powder smeared on his face. 

You felt a swell of gratification. How many people saw him like this? How many people did he allow to see him with his guard down? Vulnerable? 

You leaned down and kissed his forehead because you could. You gently moved his hand off of your lap so you could get up. Phil groaned when your body heat left the bed. 

“Baby?” he grumbled, a tinge of annoyance in his voice. 

“Still here,” you promised. 

“Stay home.” Home. Was this home for you? Could it be? 

“I don’t have clothes here, I need to go grab some.” 

“Stay here,” he demanded. His voice was reminiscent of his Commander voice, formidable and strong. He lifted his head. His hair was sticking up at odd ends, face smushed into a sleepy gaze. He blinked a couple times in the darkness. 

“I have to go to work, Phil.” His head fell back again with a loud groan. You laughed, looking up at the ceiling. Good God what have you gotten yourself into? “I have to explain last night’s midnight phone call to my team.” 

He picked his head back up to look at you. He rested on his elbow, squinting. He looked so pretty you sat back down beside him.  

“You gotta go in too.” You brushed his hair out of his face. “Hm?” In the moment of silence you appreciated being there. You appreciated him wanting you to stay. 

God you were screwed. 

He closed his eyes tightly and then opened them quickly, blinking away his sleep. He half rose propping himself up onto his palms. 

“I’m comin.” 

“We gonna carpool?” you asked, laughing gently. He grumbled something you couldn’t comprehend and you stood up again. “I still need clothes.” He climbed out of bed, footsteps heavy as they slid on the ground. He opened up his dresser drawers and threw some clothes at you. You scoffed, just barely being able to catch them. Still an asshole. He grabbed clothes for himself and as he walked past you he kissed your forehead. Your asshole. 

-

“I can’t believe you drink black coffee,” you muttered, sipping your coffee. You were wearing a shirt with his last name across your chest. You didn’t ask if he did it on purpose but you wore it with pride. You knew what you were going into when you saw your team again. You may as well own up to it. Graves was driving with one hand on the steering wheel and the other holding his caffeine. “Actually I can.” 

“You callin me bitter?” he questioned. You paused, pursing your lips. He glanced at you through the corner of his eye. “You’re supposed to say no.” 

“You’re strong!” You nodded to yourself, laughing a bit. “Like black coffee.” He scoffed, shaking his head. He put his drink down and pointed at you. 

“You’ve got like half a carton of cream in there. That isn’t even coffee.” 

“I’m sorry I’m not a 50 year old man drinking black coffee.” He rolled his eyes. 

“You’re not getting any boost from that drink. I could’ve warmed up milk for you in the microwave.” 

There was a blissful kind of air in the car. A quiet, domestic ambience, something you had never expected from Phil. You wondered briefly if you were giving him too much trust. How much could you expect from him? 

“You’re gonna be comfortably late,” he hummed. “Let those boys know where you were.” You scoffed softly. 

“I’ll just point at the shirt,” you promised. He rested his hand on your thigh. 

“You do that. Shows who you belong to.” You raised an eyebrow, playing with his fingers. His skin was rough and calloused from years of being in the field. This hand has ended people's lives and it’s the same hand holding yours. 

“People don’t belong to people,” you argued gently, despite the fact that you only half believed it. “I’m not a cow. You can’t brand me.” 

He lifted his hand and aimlessly reached for your collarbone. You looked at him confused until he landed on a new forming purple bruise, caused by him. 

“You’re not a cow. You’re a girl who’s got a hickey I gave her.” 

“You have some too. You aren’t unmarked,” you joked. He remembered the ones on his stomach, the ones you had given him as you slowly made your way down his body. He remembered it fondly.  

“And I wouldn’t wanna be.” He glanced at you, an uncharacteristic look in his eyes. You couldn’t read it at first. There was a gentle confusion, a considerate vulnerability. It was silent but you read it in his eyes. He was yours. 

Right now at least. 

He pulled into the parking lot. 

“What’re you doin today?” you questioned. The vulnerability immediately escaped his face when you asked. 

“Hopefully nothin too bad,” he muttered. “You’re out in the field?” 

“Kinda. I’m just going with Gaz and Price to scope a place out not too far away. I’ll be back tonight if things go well.”

“I’ll wait for you.” 

You smiled shyly to yourself as the car turned off. He reached over the middle console and kissed you briefly like you had known each other for years. As he left the car you were met with the harsh winds of the morning. 

You got out after him, a beep indicating that he locked it. 

“Be safe,” he said absentmindedly. 

“I will. You too.” 

You started to part in a quick way, walking away from each other. You were halted by his footsteps coming to a slow stop. You glanced back at him. 

“I love you,” he called. You started to walk backwards, a cheeky look on your face. 

“I love you too Graves.” 

You turned back around and kept walking, keenly listening as he remained. He watched you until he couldn’t see you anymore. The smile he gave you remained. You would go home with him tonight. You could go home with him every night if you wanted to. You walked without thinking much. 

“There she is,” Gaz called, tossing your jacket at you. You caught it, barely, “Was going straight to sleep huh?” 

“I did go to sleep, eventually.” 

“You’re lucky Soap isn’t here. He wanted to know details.” 

“You don’t? I’m hurt.” 

“I have no interest in knowing how the Shadows Commander is in bed.” He pat you on the back. You opened up your locker and started to shift through things. 

“Nice shirt,” Price said, coming around the corner. You glanced at him.

“Thanks Cap.” 

“You told Shepherd?” 

“No sir. I wasn’t even gonna tell you,” you admitted. Gaz hissed a bit, causing a look from both you and Price. 

“Harsh is all!” Gaz pleaded.

“He’s your superior.” 

“We’re not even in the same team. It’s not like I slept with you sir.” You shut your locker gently and leaned against it. 

“Wheels up in twenty. We’re not finished talking about this.” You nodded once. 

“I figured not.” You were about to walk away but paused. “Did you tell Shepherd?” He was already walking away. Gaz shook his head. 

“He didn’t say anything. We had a whole conversation about it last night, some of us more drunk than others,” he promised. You threw your jacket back at him.

“What were the highlights?” 

“Lots of em are protective of you. And lots of em don’t like Graves for you.” 

“I’m a grown woman.” 

“Well he’s a grown man with a shitty reputation.” You rolled your eyes. 

“What’re we doing again today?” you questioned, keenly awning to change the subject. Gaz was shrugging on his boots, sitting on one of the benches between the lockers. 

“Shepherd’s orders. There’s a supposed Hassan sighting.” 

“Here?” 

“Near here. Did you not get the briefing?” 

“I’m sure I did but I figured I had you to fill me in. Hassan near here. He’s just sending in the three of us huh?” You shoved the morning and the eventual night out of your head to make room for the day.

“Well I’m sure we’ll have air support if we need it but I’m hoping it won’t come to that.” You hummed under your breath. 

“It won’t.” 

-

The confusion burned. Where had you left Price? Why couldn’t you hear him in your ear, telling you where he was, promising that it was going to be okay? There was smoke in your eyes. What had gone wrong? 

You retraced your steps in your head. You followed Price and Gaz trailed behind you into a large field with a single building. It was aside from most civilization and though it was foregin, it wasn’t exactly unfamiliar. This was the kind of situation the three of you had walked into countless times before. You knew the jokes that Price would make and you knew the way Gaz would counter. You would have a close call in the narrow hallway. You would be home in time for dinner. 

Not this.

You take right, let’s clear the building and search it, Price had said. Words you were used to. You nodded once, answering with a quick Yes Cap before moving along. Gaz took left and you went to the back window. You eyed the windows. It was a worn down place, windows smashed, lights half on. But someone had clearly been there. You pushed the back door open with the tip of your gun. 

And then impact. Smoke. A ringing in your ear. Pain shooting in your legs. You had been near a bomb that went off before. But never this close. 

As your hearing came back you could hear the gunshots echoing in the high pitched ring but no Price. Nothing in your earpiece. You blinked heavily, attempting to make your sight return to you. Having lost your senses you were now sitting on the ground, one hand loosely on your gun, unable to comprehend new information. 

“Price?” you whispered aloud, hoping he could hear you. “Gaz?” 

Nothing. Just more ringing. Even your own voice sounded far away. You backed into a wall and stayed there. They had taught you what to do in this situation. They had taught you to stand back up, to gain your bearings, to get out of the way. Let your soldiers finish what you couldn’t. 

You stood up, wobbly. 

“Price?!” you called. You raised your gun and couldn’t see anything in the smoke. There was no one, no hostiles in front of you. They must have been in the house. No response. You grabbed the corner of the door frame and used it to stand up all the way. You could catch your breath even if your brain wasn’t with you. Your thoughts weren’t needed but your muscle memory was. 

Finally, a voice spoke in your ear. 

“Actual we’re getting gunned down out here!” Price’s voice. 

“Do not pull back soldier, clear the house for Hassan!” Shepherd's voice. 

“John?” you muttered weakly. No response. They couldn’t hear you. Or maybe you just weren’t speaking loud enough. 

“General there’s no way-” Gaz said deeply. He was struggling too. You had to help them. You had to. 

You propelled yourself forward. 

“Remain the-” Shepherd’s voice started but you didn’t get to hear the end because someone hit you on the side of the head, causing you to crumble back down to the ground. Out cold. 

-

Phillip had a skip in his step as he walked into work that morning. A night well spent and a morning well received. What he had done with Shepherd seemed like a blip in his mind. Maybe it was finally swept under the rug. Maybe it could finally be gone. He could find the missiles on his own, with his team, and this could go away. He could have a wife. A family. A home he could come back to after a hard days work. 

A pleasant aura followed him until he got the call from Shepherd. 

He choked on his glass of water. 

“I’m sorry?” 

“You’re needed on air support Graves.”

“When?”

“What time is it now?” 

“For what?” 

“Why are you still asking me questions? Get in the air.” 

-

“Alpha this is Shadow Actual do you read me?” Graves said aloud, grip tightening on the bar above him as he leaned down. He looked between the men and down at the screens that should him the ground below. They were circling the building. He could see smoke and fire but no people. “Infrared,” he muttered to the man beside him. “Alpha, do you read me?” 

“Shadow Actual, this is Alpha 0-8 I read you. We’re glad to see you,” Price’s voice echoed. “We’re stuck inside, do not fire on the building.” 

“Copy that.” Graves was twisting his hard grip on the overhead bar. He could see bodies huddled up in the middle, dead ones littered around. “I’m going down there.”

“Commander?” 

“Drop the ladder. Keep talking to me.” 

“Graves stay in the air,” Shepherd said evenly. 

“Shadows in the air. I’m going down.” 

He wanted to stay clear. He wanted his head to be empty of clouds, of feelings, of worry. He could only do that on the ground. He could only do that if he was down there, with you, making sure you were alright. He had been in a haze all day. An emotion guided haze and he can’t say that he enjoyed it. No matter the pleasantness that rooted in his cloudy state, he wanted it gone. 

Or he wanted it safe. 

The fact that he hadn’t heard your voice in his ear was enough for him to lower himself to the ground. He could see himself shooting through the waves of terrorists but it felt outside of his body. He could hear himself speaking into the coms, assuring Price he was nearby, even able to give directions to his men in the air. But it was all muscle memory. He wasn’t there. 

What if you were hurt? What if you were dead? What if he had finally found a home and lost it just as quickly? He set his jaw and pushed the door open with the tip of his gun. 

He shot at a man coming around the corner and let out an easy breath. 

The soldier fell. Behind him emerged a familiar face with an even more familiar hat. Graves didn’t put his gun down. He took a moment to gaze around the room, eyes landing on Kyle Garrick. He scanned the room quickly, eyes on the bleeding, unmoving but still warm bodies. No familiar faces. 

Graves ripped the comm out of his ear. 

“Where is she?” 

“She went around the back,” Gaz said, admittedly as distressed about your loss. “We got ambushed-” Graves pushed between the two of them. 

“The building isn’t clear,” he said, using his Commander voice. 

“Alpha 0-9 how copy?” Graves could hear Price ask. “Y/N how copy?” 

Graves broke in a locked door with a kick. 

“Y/L/N!” he yelled into the void. He could hear the scattered searching from the other two men but his heartbeat was increasing in his ears, starting to drown it out. He anxiously scanned the dead bodies. He had lost men before. He knew he could handle it. “Answer me goddamit.” 

“Upstairs clear!” Gaz called but there was a distress in his voice. 

His breathing had started to become uneven. He was kicking bodies now, losing his cool. “C’mon baby. C’mon.” Suddenly Price’s voice broke through his mania. 

“Here!” 

Graves tore through the rooms. He could hear the echo of the voices he wasn’t listening to in his comm. 

You were lying on the ground, eyes shut. Graves skid onto the ground, practically shoving Price aside. 

“Need the bird for medic,” Price said. “Come on girl,” he grumbled, allowing Graves to grab your body and hold it. His hands were shaking. He had tossed his gun aside. He found your neck and pressed his fingers against it to find your pulse. It was there but it was faint. Your head was bleeding a deep red but there was no gun shot. No evidence of a stabbing. That didn’t mean a head wound couldn’t kill you. 

“She wasn’t shot,” Gaz observed. 

“I’m taking her in the Shadows heli. We’ll get her help faster.” He put his comm back into his ear. “Land outside the-”

“There’s already a medic bird coming,” Price argued. 

“She could be internally bleeding and you wanna wait?” 

“They’ll have what’s needed-” 

“I’m not waiting,” he demanded. “Land on the southside of the building.” 

He wrapped his hand under you and picked you up. The nooks and crannies of your body were familiar to him. Price didn’t see the need to argue with someone so set. Gaz followed suit as they left the building.

-

“How could you let this happen?!” 

“She’s on my team. She can handle herself.” 

“Clearly not!’ 

Your head was pounding. The voices in the room sounded far away but you could still make out what they were saying. You recognized the voices too. The accent honed by your Captain. The clear anger of your Phil Graves. 

“If she serves any permanent damage from this, I’m coming for your head Price. I’ll have your mantel and the goddamn hat.” You groaned, an intentional diversion from the conversation. A scamper of heavy footed boots made their way closer to you. 

“I’ll get a nurse,” Price said. His voice was controlled and even again. You doubted he feared any actual outcome of Phil’s words. You looked around at the bright lights, a gasp escaping your lips as the wave of pain hit you harder. 

“Hey,” Phillip muttered, grabbing your hand. You looked over at him. “Don’t sit up. Price is getting someone.” 

“Whatever pain meds they’re giving me, it isn’t enough,” you muttered weakly. “What happened?” 

“Don’t worry about that,” he grumbled. “I’m sorting it.” You forced yourself to stare back at him. His brows were furrowed into a thick worry. His face was turned down, looking down at you with thought. 

“Good morning!” Price exclaimed as he walked back into the room. “I told you she was a tough one,” he muttered to Phil. He walked to the other side of the bed and looked down at you. 

“What happened Cap?” you asked quietly. 

“Stunned and hit. They were trying to take you for information and didn’t quite get that far. Nurse’ll be here soon.”  

“How’re you feeling?” Graves asked. 

“Like shit. How long was I out?”

“Couple hours,” Price told you deeply. “Gave us quite a scare.” 

The heavy silence finally caught up to you. You hadn’t caught it before but did then. The worry radiating off of the men around you. The fear you had caused. It wasn’t every day Price lost a member of his team and he clearly wasn’t taking the possibility as well as he would’ve liked. And Graves…

It was clear he had run his hands through his hair countless times with the way it was sticking up now. He had taken off his bullet proof jacket but the rest of his field clothes remained. His fear manifested as anger. 

You raised your hand lazily, almost missing him. You gripped the back of his head carefully, fingers playing with the hair on the nape of his neck. You hummed and he froze. There hadn’t been a serious display of emotion between the two of you in public. You weren’t all there anyway. 

Price observed, quietly. He may not have been Graves’ biggest fan but he knew emotion when he saw it. He knew vulnerability when he saw it. 

“What is taking the nurse so goddamn long?” he breathed. He turned on his toes and left the room heavily. You were alone again. 

“When do I get to go home?” you questioned. “I hate hospitals.” 

“Whenever they cleared you.” You paused. 

“What are you doing here? Did they call you from work?”

“They called Shadows for air support.” 

“You found me?” 

“Price did. But I was on the ground.” You nodded slowly. The air was stagnant. It reeked of antiseptic and you were sure you still smelled of blood. You stared at the ceiling. Your hand fell slowly off of Graves’ neck. “I can’t do this.” Your eyes flashed back to him. He was staring at your hands, intertwined sweatily. 

“Huh?” The whiplash made your head pound. 

“I can’t live in constant fear that you’ve been hurt. If you can’t…if you can’t protect yourself out here then this needs to end.” You lifted your head and he didn't tell you to stop. 

“Phil I-”

“This was a simple mission-”

“We were ambushed!” Your voice was strained as you said it. You couldn’t argue right now, you weren’t in your right mind to. But he wanted to have this argument right now so you were gonna have it. “This is the job. This is my job and it’s your job.” 

He stood up, letting go of your hand.  “You’re scared of the emotions you’re feeling, that’s fine. But you’ll feel this any day. Could be anyone.” He turned away from you. He was going to speak again but then you weren’t alone anymore. 

“Good Lord lass,” Soap said as he walked into the room. “You had Ghost and I about ready to head out there ourselves!” 

“Thanks Soap,” you murmured. He sat down beside you and he was followed closely by Gaz. You watched as Graves left as they entered, unable to do anything to stop it. 

-

They let you out after two days of observation. Price wanted you in for a whole week but you left the second you were allowed to. You had been visited by all of your team, even Ghost. Graves hadn’t come back. 

Which is why, when you left the hospital you got in your car and drove to his apartment instead of yours. You stood outside of his door for a moment before knocking. How could you realistically allow this to bring you down? You had thought about it before, how much power you were giving someone that might not deserve it. 

You still knocked. 

You were here, after all. 

He shuffled over to the door and your feet remained planted, despite your very being yelling for you to let it be. Phil opened the door wearing a shirt that was too tight and gray sweatpants. He didn’t say anything when he opened the door. No ‘hello’, no ‘what are you doing here?’

“You didn’t come back.” 

“I heard you were fine.” 

“Can I come in?” He thought about it for too long and then moved aside. You slithered in. He shut the door behind you. “Now that I have a bit of my brain power back, I’m ready to argue.”

“Huh?”

“That’s clearly what you wanted right? You wanted to argue with me about us. I’m here to argue.” 

“I don’t wanna argue-”

“I love you Phil.” It was a leap. A shitty one maybe but you had to take it, just so you knew where you stood with him. He shoved his hands in his pockets. 

“I thought you were gonna die,” he said. Chest puffed, jaw set. You knew that look. That was his look that meant he was gonna let you in. He was on his last barrier. You had no idea what the last couple of days had been like for him. The pacing, the reeling. How could he love someone like this? How could he not? “And I don’t like feeling like that.” 

“Me neither.” He scoffed. 

There was a heavy silence. You could hear the walls settling, the wind moving the building, the clock on the wall ticking. You watched as his chest rose and fell. 

“I can’t…I won’t sit here and let you die on my watch. I can’t.” 

“You won’t.” Your eyes wandered around the room in avoidance. “Why didn’t you come and see me again?”

“Shepherd and I accidentally gave three American missiles to the enemy.”

Your mouth fell open. You closed it quickly, clearing your throat. That was absolutely not what you were expecting him to say. 

“You…what?” 

“She-”

“No, I heard you. What does that have to do with-”

“He called me in because I was the only one he could call. You’re looking for missiles that I lost. He wasn’t even going to send me but it was Price out there.” You sat down on the couch. “Shepherd will keep putting you and I under the hot water until those missiles are detonated or found. Your team doesn’t know and they won’t know.” He felt like the weight had just left his shoulders. There was no protecting you now. But now you knew and he didn’t have to keep it to his chest. He could play all of his cards with you again. 

“You covered up a federal crime.” 

“Yeah.” 

He sat down beside you. He could still have this, he promised himself. He could still have you. 

“Well? Still love me now?” You looked back up at him. He was close again. You liked when he was close. His face was even. He was out of his comfort zone now. He wasn’t in the field and he wasn’t in front of his men. He was just here, eyes open, with you. 

“Mhm.” 

“What was that?”

“Yeah. I still love you.” 

His face before kissing you was always full of confidence. There was never anything he could second guess about himself when he leaned in. You always let him kiss you first. Then you leaned into him. You put your hand on his chest and you pushed him down onto the couch and you felt safe again. You felt like you were home again. He brushed your head with his hand, gripping you with his entire palm and you winced.

“Oh Jesus,” he muttered, pulling away. “How the fuck is your head anyway?” 

“Don’t hear you complaining,” you muttered against his lips. He chuckled cockily, forehead falling onto your shoulder. 

“You’re gonna pass out mid thrust,” he grumbled. “It can wait.” 

“If I can’t?”

“You can.” He grabbed the side of your head that hadn’t been hurt and kissed your forehead, a term of endearment you were learning to adore. 

“You must love me. I’ve never heard you turn down head before Graves.” 

“What would your Captain ask me if I sent you back to the hospital half naked hmm?” Giggles escaped your lips. 

“He’d kill you.”

“Mm he’d try.” He wrapped his arms firmly around you, putting his chin on your head. “You can’t tell him about the missiles.”

“That sounds like a problem for when I get back to work,” you grumbled against his chest. “We’ll figure it out.”

“We?”

“You and me. That’s what ‘we’ means, Phil.” He chuckled, that charm oozing through his laughter. 

The night felt long with him. It felt like eternity. You eventually were forced to the bed for rest and had a short phone call with Johnny before drifting off. He made you promise that you were gonna be okay. You didn’t think about the impending war or the chunk missing from your head. You just watched as Graves brought you a glass of water without having been asked and sat beside you as he got ready for bed. You told Johnny you were home. 

You would be fine. 

-

“Don’t you have to go to work?” you asked quietly. The morning air was still fresh. You weren’t quite used to your eyes being open. You were ready to slip back into sleep at a moment's notice. You were rubbing Phillip’s arm as he stared at you. He looked out of it in the morning. Never quite there. 

“Takin the day,” he said. He spoke it almost silently, like there was an air bubble he might break if he spoke too loudly. “Stayin with you.” You smiled gently and nuzzled into the pillow, breathing out slowly. 

“I gotta call Price. He said he wanted to talk about my ‘personal problem today’.” 

“Your personal problem being me?”

“Yes sir.” He smiled weakly. 

“I like it when you call me sir.” You giggled softly. “What’re you gonna tell him?”

“You saved my life. I’m allowed to sleep in your bed.” He nodded lazily. 

“That sounds like a fantastic plan.” You sat up, reaching for your bottle of painkillers. The head trauma wouldn’t leave you as quickly as you wanted to forget about it. He placed a hand on our thigh and squeezed. “How’s your head?” 

“Fine. Tender.” He snorted. You leaned down and buried your head in the crook of his neck, giggling. 

“Go back to bed,” he said, chuckling, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. You were still shaking with silent laughter when he got you in his arms again. “You know I’m gonna get you back for this when you have all your wits about you yeah?” he asked, lips against your hair. You nodded. 

“Looking forward to it, Commander.”

He let out a moan of annoyance mixed with desire that left you with even more giggles. You would call Price when you got up later. He would understand. He will probably give you some shit but you knew Price. He wanted what was best for you. 

This morning was what was best for you.

[swanqueenfeathers]

“Don’t worry, guys” says a young Tim Drake to the congregation of stuffed toys that line the foot of his bed, like soldiers standing at attention. “I’ll be back before ya know it! Keep an eye out for Mrs. Mac, ‘kay?”

He silently slips out the bedroom window and onto the roof, his footsteps soundless as he stalks towards the edge. He eases himself over the gutter and drops down a few feet to land on the balcony outside his parent’s room. They’re not home, of course - they rarely are, and so there’s no fear of being caught as he squeezes through the railing, grabs the drain pipe and slides down like it’s a fireman’s pole until his feet hit grass.

He adjusts the strap of his camera bag slung over his shoulder and slinks towards the front gate, keeping to the shadows as he climbs up and over, dropping down into a cluster of bushes on the other side with hardly a rustle of leaves. He’s done this a hundred times, following a path only visible to himself to the bicycle he kept hidden beneath an alcove of rocks, kicking up the stand and riding into the city.

He loves Gotham at night - rain puddles in the street that reflected the blinking neon lights, the warm, yellow glow that spilled from the windows of 24-hour diners, and the absence of all the noise a bustling city makes during the day. He even loved the ugly side of Gotham - darkened alleys where shady individuals swapped goods, dimly lit corners where beautiful girls crooned at passers-by, luring them into dens pumping with music and alcohol.

And because the ugly side is where Batman and Robin haunted the night.

Tonight was special, too - It was Tim’s 9th birthday. His parents hadn’t called to wish him a happy birthday or sent a gift; Tim figured they were busy or maybe they’d just forgotten again, but that was alright. Mrs. Mac had made him his favorite dinner and a chocolate cake decorated with nine candles.

“Make a wish,” she had said, smiling at him kindly but with a sort of sadness in her eyes that didn’t go unnoticed. Tim had squeezed his eyes shut and wished for just one gift, just one perfect picture.

He turns into an alleyway and hops off the bike, pushing it behind a dumpster before climbing the fire escape of the adjacent building, hoisting himself up and onto the flat roof. He crouches down and creeps towards the far corner of the roof, away from the light of the street lamps and facing another back alley, carefully pulling the camera from his pack and slinging the strap over his head. He had patched into the GCPD dispatch radio using a homemade scanner, and through a set of wired headphones he listened for any mention of Batman and Robin, having followed the trail of reported low-lives unfortunate enough to run into the Dynamic Duo during acts of questionable morality, tied up nice and pretty and ready for the ride to jail in the back of a squad car. 

The trail leads him to the roof he’s on now, and he carefully peers over the ledge, looking down into the alley where two men argue in heated whispers, their shoulders tensed and their eyes constantly darting to the shadows around them with a tangible uneasiness. One of the men shoves something into the other’s hand. Tim snaps a photo of the exchange, and he also watches the shadows but with a nervous excitement that has his hands shaking ever so slightly. 

Tim hears and sees nothing, but feels the sudden overwhelming presence. He’s here, he thinks giddily, camera ready. An imperceptible shift in the inky black of night at the other end of the alleyway that even the two men sense as they fall silent and stiff with fear. 

There’s a flash of color and both men fall to their knees with cries of pain. Robin had swung in from behind and with a graceful twirl, kicked in the back of their legs as they stood frozen staring at the darkness beyond.

Tim takes as many pictures as he can while remaining unnoticed. He captures the moment Robin effortlessly vaults over the two men, landing light as a feather and throwing a smug smirk over his shoulder. 

“Seriously, guys?” He tuts, crossing his arms and shaking his head like a parent scolding children. “That was too easy, it’s not even fun!”

“It’s not supposed to be ‘fun’, Robin,” Batman growls, melting from the shadows and looming over the pair with a dangerous aura. He extends a gloved hand with silent and threatening expectation, and one of the men quickly hands him the object exchanged earlier with trembling fingers. Batman examines it, and Tim zooms in to catch a glimpse - it’s a crumbled slip of paper with writing that Tim can’t quite make out.

Batman wordlessly tucks the paper into a pouch on his belt, then with lightning speed he strikes both men behind the ear, knocking them out cold. Robin makes quick work of binding their wrists and ankles before dragging them closer to the street to be picked up by the GCPD.

With a simultaneous click of their grapple guns, the Dynamic Duo ascend to the roof of the building across from where Tim lay hidden. He hardly dared to breathe lest they hear or see him. His heart pounded in his chest and his only movement was to press his finger to the camera's trigger. 

Batman sprints towards the building’s ledge and leaps onto the neighboring roof, his black cape billowed out, contributing an impressive and threatening silhouette. Robin was hot on his heels, performing a fluid backwards handspring, launching himself into the air and twirling mid-leap to land lithely on his feet. 

At that moment, Tim is six years old again - he’s at the circus with his parents, watching a beautiful family fly together. That same move performed for a crowd whose cheers turned to screams and gasps of horror as tragedy struck. 

Tim feels numb but his mind is moving at a million miles a second. Puzzle pieces click into place and as Batman and Robin disappear into the night, he clutches the camera to his chest. 

“Bruce Wayne is Batman,” he whispers in awe, “Dick Grayson is Robin.” He looks down at the last picture taken, a perfect capture of the duo suspended in the air. Elation is making his hands shake and he’s smiling so wide it hurts his cheeks. He shuts the camera off and tucks it back into the bag. He can’t wait to develop the photos and add them to the rest of his stash, which he kept hidden away in a lockbox under his bed. He was careful to only take them out when he was sure he was alone, showing them to his camaraderie of stuffed toys as he discussed with them his theories on the identities of the Dynamic Duo. And boy, did he have the story to tell them tonight!

“Don’t worry, Batman,” he says into the nighttime air, “Your secret is safe with me.” 

[theodorecanaryhood]

Outlaws: Battle to the Death

Part 13 in the series,

Trevor Signorino as Jason Todd, Jacob Rott as Tim Drake and Mitchell Slaggert as Roy Harper.

Jason Todd x Male! Reader (Silver Canary)

The rain hit hard as Red Hood ran through the alleyway chasing down the newest criminal, he hadn’t seen anything but the rage flowing as he charged at the man, knocking him to the floor.

Arsenal back flipped over a knife that was thrown at him as he then swung out and punched the other man, knocking him off his feet.

‘Switch’ Arsenal said as he rolled over Red Hoods back, the two men getting into the swing of takeouts.

As the last man fell to the ground Red Hood sighed, hearing an explosion in the distance. Arsenal gasped as his eyes widened.

The two ran towards the fire that was billowing in the air, witnessing as people ran screaming. It was a war of enemies, from all over and every direction.

Arsenal stood face to face with a Red Lantern, Atrocitus, while Jason faced off with Scarecrow.

There was criminals, villains, everything you could think. They were everywhere. Red Robin showed up to give a hand, along with Superboy.

Mr Freeze, Riddler, Two Face, too many and too well manned. The enemies were winning due to there being more of them, and not enough heroes.

‘Robin, look out’ Red Hood shouted as Red Robin got knocked down on his back. Rolling on the floor to dodge slams and getting Impaled by Javelin.

Red Hood began shooting up the place while Arsenal used his arrows, the two were now aiming for heads or any vital organ that would take someone out.

It was breaking news as you sat quietly watching TV, the twins playing together in the play pen. You gasped as you saw the small amount of heroes going hard. Outnumbered and exhausted.

You pulled out your phone as you panicked, dialling numbers of heroes you knew to help. While also looking for someone who could look after the kids while you helped.

Jason was in over his head as he tried to take out Bane and Sinestro at the same time, though Clay Face made sure Jason didn’t get far enough.

As many more villains cornered the heroes of four, Red Hood reloaded his guns, Arsenal got his arrows ready. Standing back to back, Red Robin and Superboy held up their staff and fists ready for more action.

There was a sudden vibration that shattered nearby windows, the heroes covered their ears. Witnessing as Black and Silver Canary stood both releasing their Canary cry.

Green Lantern, Flash and Cyborg then showed up and began to help with fighting. Now more help on their side, the villains were getting knocked down successfully.

Red Hood ran over to you as he grabbed your face as he spoke, ‘what the hell are you doing here? Where are the kids?’ Breathless voice as he spoke.

‘They’re with Dick, I’m helping you guys. Otherwise you’re all going to die’ you explained.

A strike of lighting grabbed everyone’s attention as Black Adam appeared, the Flash running towards him to knock him over before he could shoot Lightning to anyone.

‘Barry Allen’ was all Black Adam screamed as Cyborg took Black Adam on one to one.

There wasn’t much else to do at this point except for everyone to either pair up, or take someone their own size on.

As Red Robin knocked out Penguin, you knocked out Scarecrow with a hard punch in the face.

There was a sudden drop as it fell silent as a few hours of fighting was suddenly over. Crumbled parts of buildings fell around everyone’s bodies.

There was stillness in breathing for a few seconds as everyone prepared. Alas, that was it. Villains fell after hours of tireless effort. Heroes stood tall against one another as people started looking around.

Red Hood looked at you as he wrapped an arm around your waist, whispering how much he loves you in your ear.

…

You all walked to the street as the sun seemed to be coming up strong, a beam of light was visible as Dr Fate stepped forward.

‘Heroes of Gotham, you’re fate has changed’ was all he said, grabbing everyone’s attention.

‘What the hell is that supposed to mean?’ Arsenal asked, he said nothing else as he disappeared.

There was suddenly an earthquake that caused the ground to split apart, you held Jason’s hand but got separated when the rumbling got stronger. The ground between you lifting as you both fell apart.

‘Y/n’ Jason called out as you rolled down a hill, letting out a grunt as you hit the rocky floor below.

Not much else happened after to your recollection as you blacked out, but when you woke up the sun was still up.

You sat up as there was distant gunfire and explosions from behind, getting up on your feet you rushed over to where the sounds were coming from.

‘Shit’ you sighed as you saw Red Hood and Arsenal fighting, again.

There was Bane, Scarecrow and other villains back on their feet.

‘Tim’ someone shouted as Red Robin fell to the floor, Impaled. He wasn’t breathing.

‘Fuck no, Timmy’ Red Hood called as he nearly sobbed out. His younger brother was on the ground dead.

You stood and watched as the Heroes fell one by one. Arsenal got shot in the head, Dinah got electrocuted by Black Adam.

You began to cry as you saw yourself being lifted off the ground to a height by Zod. Dropped and killed on impact of hitting the ground.

Red Hood got cornered as he then got trampled by a bunch of other villains. You had to be dreaming at this point.

As all the Heroes lay on the floor still and lifeless you watched as Dr Fate appeared, however, he turned and looked at you.

‘The fate can change, but you cannot change everything’ he said, that’s when another earthquake happened and you again fell from the ground splitting.

You woke up once again, to just when you were at home.

‘Am I dead?’ You asked as Dick knocked on your front door.

‘Babysitting service from Uncle Dick’ he smiled as he walked in. He noticed you looked on edge, picking up on your flushed face.

‘You ok y/n?’ He asked, you nodded as he walked to the twins.

There wasn’t time to sit and think about what just happened, you must’ve fallen asleep and had a strange dream.

That’s all it had to be of course, a dream, but you couldn’t sit on it too long as you bounded into action.

You knew everyone lived as you saw them walking away victorious, but Dr Fate must’ve somehow shown you a possible future.

‘What are you doing here? Where are the kids?’ Red Hood asked you, you smiled softly to your husband.

‘With Dick’ you replied as you stood and watched, there must’ve been a moment where something changed causing a problem with your apparent future.

As the fight went on for what seemed like forever you then realised there was a sign that had fallen. As you looked at it, it had pieces broken off but you could just read the word ‘sky’ on it.

That’s when it hit you as mental flashbacks of what you saw came to mind, everyone died from something that happened above.

‘Superboy, up high, take them out. Tim, stay on the left side, Arsenal keep low and Hood, go red’ you called out, no one asked questions as to how you knew what to do to take everyone down.

‘What about me?’ Dinah asked you, you winked as you stood beside her.

‘Scream’ you smiled as Dinah and yourself both let you canary cries out. Dinah hitting who was in front as you hit upwards.

The fight needed quicker than the first time it did, but you were still scared in case Dr Fate showed you something else.

All of you walked away together as you went along the street, but you weren’t alone as you turned around to see Dr Fate again.

‘No, not again’ you spoke with panic in your voice, everyone looking at you.

‘The final battle will come, but for now Canary, the fate has been sealed’ he said as he then teleported away.

‘What did you mean by not again?’ Arsenal asked you, but you didn’t answer.

‘Y/n?’ Tim said softly as he placed a hand on your shoulder.

‘We did this before, but Fate showed me different ways it ended, including us all dying. I can’t explain, that’s how I knew where to hit. Dr Fate must’ve known that it wasn’t over yet’ you said.

…

Back at home Jason was going through some Bat tech to find if there were anymore hits. Gotham was a hotspot for criminal activity lately but nothing like what had happened.

‘Black Adam teaming up with Riddler and Bane, just doesn’t seem right’ Dick said as he held Joey up and played with her.

‘No it doesn’t, but there must be something else. Dr Fate mentioned a final battle’ Jason said, not looking away from his screen.

‘It’s tomorrows problem Jay, I think we should maybe get the kids out and try and have a seemingly normal day’ you said, holding yours and Jason’s son.

Jason smiled and nodded as he walked over and kissed you, taking your son into his arms.

‘I like that idea, there’s a fair not too far from here’ Dick chirped as he swung Joey playfully as she giggled.

You all left and walked around together as a family, having a normal day together for the first time in a while.

Something may not have been sitting right with either of the adults, but it was a problem to deal with later.

[eliannnnarrr]

Taylor Swift Lyrics that are SO Rhaenrya Targaryen

part3:

This is why we can't have nice things:

So why'd you have to rain on my parade? I'm shaking my head I'm locking the gates

This is why we can't have nice things, darling Because you break them I had to take them away This is why we can't have nice things, honey Did you think I wouldn't hear all the things you said about me? This is why we can't have nice things

It was so nice being friends again There I was giving you a second chance But you stabbed me in the back while shaking my hand And therein lies the issue Friends don't try to trick you Get you on the phone and mind-twist you And so I took an axe to a mended fence

But I'm not the only friend you've lost lately, hm hm If only you weren't So shady

This is why we can't have nice things, darling Because you break them I had to take them away This is why we can't have nice (nice things) Things (baby) honey Did you think I wouldn't hear all the things you said about me? This is why we can't have

Here's a toast to my real friends They don't care about that he said, she said And here's to my baby He ain't reading what they call me lately And here's to my momma Had to listen to all this drama And here's to you 'Cause forgiveness is a nice thing to do I can't even say it with a straight face

Don't blame me:

I've been breakin' hearts a long time And, toyin' with them older guys Just playthings for me to use Something happened for the first time In the darkest little paradise Shakin', pacin', I just need you

For you, I would cross the line I would waste my time I would lose my mind They say, "She's gone too far this time"

imgonnagetyouback :

And I'll tell you one thing, honey I can tell when somebody still wants me, come clean Standing at the bar like something's funny, bubbly Once you fix your face, I'm goin' in

Whether I'm gonna be your wife or Gonna smash up your bike, I Haven't decided yet But I'm gonna get you back

Whether I'm gonna curse you out or Take you back to my house, I Haven't decided yet But I'm gonna get you back

I, I hear the whispers in your eyes I'll make you wanna think twice You'll find that you were never not mine

imgonnagetyouback:

Bygones will be bygone eras fadin' into gray (fadin' into gray) We broke all the pieces but still want to play the game (oh) Told my friends, "I hate you but I love you just the same" Pick your poison, babe I'm poison either way

Whether I'm gonna flip you off or Pull you into the closet I haven't decided yet But I'm gonna get you back

Picture to burn:

And if you're missing me, you'd better keep it to yourself 'Cause coming back around here would be bad for your health

Better than Revenge:

Now go stand in the corner and think about what you did Ha, time for a little revenge

Karma:

You're talking shit for the hell of it Addicted to betrayal, but you're relevant You're terrified to look down 'Cause if you dare, you'll see the glare Of everyone you burned just to get there It's coming back around

And I keep my side of the street clean You wouldn't know what I mean

I bet you think about me:

But now that we're done and it's over I bet you couldn't believe When you realized I'm harder to forget than I was to leave And I bet you think about me

[voleurdesoleil-archive]

The lines we shouldn’t cross

part 1/2 - I’ll be holding on to our favorite song

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Ship: Ushijima Wakatoshi x Tendou Satori

Word count: 10.6K

A/N: this is a companion fic to this fic, that gives you a little bit more context, but both can be read independently from each other. Songs quoted in this fic are:

Distance - Ruel

Holding on - Francis Karel (also the title for this part)

Handle with care - Francis Karel

read on AO3

You were dressed up in the same fit

That you wore back when I met you

I couldn't hide my smile when you walked in

Swear that it lit up the room

It’s raining. In a movie scene the sky would have been a clear blue one, or a ray of sunshine would have broken through the clouds just as he turned the corner. But this is not a movie scene and the sky is heavy with dark clouds. 

He's walking towards the store, but he hasn't seen me yet, standing in front of it. 

His eyes are set on the sky and I know he’s happy. Not because of the way he’s almost skipping under the rain but because he's always loved the way each layer of clouds moves in a different direction and at a different pace during rainy days.

I still remember that one day, back in high school. He stayed over the night because it had started pouring after our date. We slept in the same bed for the first time that night, but when I woke up the next day, he was sitting by the window buried under my weighted blanket, his hands wrapped around a cup of hot chocolate and he had the most gleeful smile on his face I had ever seen at that time. It had rained so much during the night that we couldn’t go to class because the streets were flooded, so we cuddled up all day and watched a few movies. We talked a lot too. But he always gravitated back to the window to look at the sky and, when I asked why, he answered that he always thought those big clouds that barely moved reminded him of himself, while the ones who were going fast reminded him of the people surrounding him; never sticking around. That day, with that simple sentence, I understood I would never be able to let go of that guy. So I know this is the perfect weather for him, because ever since that day it has also been mine. 

His head is bobbing left and right to the music, his fingers are on his thigh, tapping to the rhythm of the song. He’s mouthing the words of the song and because of that I’m guessing that he’s listening to the Ratatouille song. He has been trying to learn the lyrics for the past couple weeks, claiming that this is going to help improve his French. Yet three days ago, when he was convinced he knew it by heart, he sang it to me because Elliott had said that it sounded nothing like French and he wanted another opinion. So I listened to him, but what came out of his mouth that day sounded nothing like the song. Yet he was so proud of himself that I didn’t have the heart to tell him.  

His hair, which he cut short back in uni because he didn't like wearing hairnets, has grown back since the last time I saw him and I know he’ll probably ask me to cut it while I’m here. He’s been living here for almost 4 years and still hasn’t found a hairdresser he trusts enough to cut his hair, so I always end up being the one cutting his hair because he’s still too scared to do it by himself.

He's wearing the shirt I gifted him on his first birthday we spent together; the one he grabs out-of habit when he doesn't know what to wear.  And I am always amazed with the fact that he hasn't outgrown it yet or that it’s tearing apart because he wears it so often that it’s completely discolored. 

He waves to the elderly lady coming out of the apartment building and greets her with a warm smile. She's one of his regulars, always coming to buy chocolates for her grandchildren or simply to chat a little. She handed me an umbrella earlier when she saw me standing in the rain. She glances at me now with a gentle smile. 

He apologizes as he bumps into a passerby when barely avoiding a trash can. 

His socks are mismatched and I know he either didn't hear his alarm or he turned it off before going back to sleep for another 5 minutes that turned into another 30 minutes and that he had to rush out of the house; like he already did back in uni. 

He stops and I gaze back up.

Our eyes meet. He saw me.

He breaks into a wide smile. A smile so blinding and that I haven't seen in so long. 

His nonchalant walk turns into rushed steps until he's running to me. He's saying something but he's still too far for me to hear what he's saying but I know he's asking what I'm doing here. 

He doesn't falter when he jumps into my arms, because he knows they'll be here to catch him. They've always been and they always will be. His arms cross on the back of my neck and his forehead comes to rest on mine. His lips are so close, I can feel his breath on mine but he doesn't kiss me. Not yet. Not when he hasn't processed the fact that I'm standing here, in front of his store, in a street in Paris, when I should be in Japan training for the upcoming game against the MSBY Black Jackals. 

I know he's taking in the scent of the cologne he bought me for Christmas last year. Just like I'm taking in the scent of chocolate lingering on his skin. 

His hands come to rest on my cheeks as he moves away to take a better look at me, my name softly leaving the barrier of his lips, and it's the most beautiful thing I've heard in months. 

"You're here…" he says, his voice barely more than a whisper.

"I am."

"How?" 

"I took a flight." 

He laughs and I think my heart skips a beat. "I know that Ushijima, but why?" 

"Because I missed you Tendou-" I let him down on the ground, my arms instinctively wrapping around his waist. I need to keep him close, to keep basking in that sweet scent of chocolate mixed with the almond scent of the soap he uses, "-a lot. A little too much. Way too much"

You're right there

But I won't say that I'm standing

I'm right here, when I see you I panic

That's when it hits him. That this moment in time is real. That it isn't some daydream. And his lips crash on mine. 

My heart swells with elation as his hands find their way under my coat and that his fingers send shivers up my spine as they graze against my skin when he fumbles for the belt loops of my jeans and draws me closer. 

Running out of breath, I part with him before I slip my hands on the back of his neck and pull him back in, deepening the kiss. Igently pry his lips open a bit more, wanting, no, needing to taste more of him. 

But the kiss is cut short as we hear someone clear their throat beside us. A girl picked up the umbrella I dropped when Tendou jumped into my arms and is now standing next to us. She gives us an apologetic smile.

"Sorry to interrupt Boss but the store's opening in five minutes and I need the keys to go in." She looks at me, wondering if she should say anything, that’s when I recognize her. She had been standing in front of the door, taking a peek inside or knocking on the door from time to time, and although her face seemed familiar, I couldn’t remember her name. She finally decides acknowledging my presence might be better. “Nice to see you.”

“Good to see you too, Margaux.”

Without looking at her Tendou hands her the keys, but as she walks back to the store’s front door, he calls her out.

“Wait! Isn’t Elliott supposed to be inside? Why didn’t you go in already?”

“He is, the light is on at the back but I’m guessing he’s either elbow deep in chocolate and can’t look at his phone or he’s once again blasting music and can’t hear his phone because I’ve been texting and calling him for 10 minutes but he hasn’t answered.”

Tendou drags a hand across his face and sighs. “I swear I’m going to kill that kid if he’s once again blasting that weird ass song!” As he follows the girl inside the store, he grabs my hand and tugs me along with him. 

Just as we enter the shop a boy I don’t recognize, barely younger than Tendou, comes rushing from the back room, holding his phone in one hand and a set of keys in the other, but when he sees us he stops right in his tracks and turns back on his heels, rushing back into the kitchen. 

Tendou runs after him. “Elliott! Come back here! For fuck’s sake what did you do? Elliott!”

Margaux, unfazed by the chaos going on around her, turns on the lights and starts quickly taking down the chairs from the tables.

“You can sit at the counter if you’d like, or you could help me. I don’t know, do whatever you want. But just don’t stand in the entryway, you’re going to scare people away.”

“Oh, right! Sorry!” I say, reaching for the chairs nearest to me and finishing to take them down as she grabs a towel to wipe the tables. “Are they always like that?”

“Pretty much yeah… Not in front of customers of course, but I mean you know the Boss…he’s a little…how do I say that without offending you? He’s a little “extravagant”...” She throws me a doubtful look, but I have to give it to her. Tendou can be a handful at times, so I nod and she continues. “Well Elliott might be just as extravagant so when Arthur, the other chocolatier, you’ve probably met him before, isn’t here to intervene it’s always a bit of a mess, but they surprisingly work well together. They’ll calm down in a minute, you’ll see.”

And she’s right. A few minutes later, as we're setting the still warm pastries on the glass shelves, their little quarrel dies down in the kitchen and they come out, each holding a tray of freshly baked pain au chocolat. 

Tendou hands the one he’s holding to Margaux while Elliott helps her to finish up before they open the doors for the clients already waiting at the door. He walks up to me, wraps his arms around my waist and stands on his tiptoes to land a quick peck on my cheeks.

“What do you want to do? You’re probably tired, do you want my keys to go rest at my apartment and we’ll see each other tonight?” His grip on my waist slightly tightens as he says those words. “If my other chocolatier was here I’d take the day off, but I can’t leave Elliott and Margaux on their own…”

“I know and I’m not asking you to. I’d like to wait for you here if that’s okay with you. I slept almost all the entirety of the flight so I’m not really tired.”

“I don’t mind you staying here at all, but don’t try to distract me with your pretty face, okay?” 

“I’ll make myself as discreet as possible. I promise.” I say, trying to stifle a yawn. Thankfully Margaux makes for a good distraction when she chimes in.

“You’re gonna have a hard time being discreet. A few customers would like to get your autograph.” She informs us, pointing at people waiting expectedly at the counter.

***

I had been signing autographs all morning when Margaux sat down at my table with her lunchbox, setting down a sandwich in front of me.

“Thank you.” I say in between yawns. 

“You’ve been working hard all morning, that’s the least I can do. And if you want more coffee or anything let me know, it’s been pretty busy so I’m sorry if I can't really check up on you.”

“You have been keeping me awake and well hydrated so far, so I have no complaints.” 

She laughs. “Good to know.”

We both start exchanging anecdotes about Tendou as we eat lunch. She tells me about work stories and I tell her about High school ones. We’re sometimes interrupted by customers she has to serve or by people wanting an autograph.

As a matter of fact, I’ve just finished signing one for a young man, when I ask Margaux the question that’s been haunting me all morning. “If you don’t mind me asking, how come so many people recognize me? I mean, on my way here, apart from a few Japanese people on the plane, no one knew who I was, same as I was standing in front of the store this morning. So I am a bit confused with the sudden interest, especially since this never happened when I visited before and because Tendou said volleyball isn’t really big in France.”

“Yeah, you’re right, people do tend to prefer soccer, but I’m surprised you haven’t noticed that the answer to your question is right there.” She says pointing at the wall behind the counter and that’s when I see it. 

I had been out of it all morning, trying to stay focused on people striking a conversation or just straight out trying to stay awake so I didn’t notice it earlier. 

Right behind the cash register, in a frame, between two shelves of bread loaves, is one of my first jerseys of the national Japanese team. The one Tendou had asked me to sign last year, always refusing to tell me what he would do with it. I had supposed he wanted to keep it for himself, like he’s been doing with each of my jerseys since we started dating. Although I was a bit confused about him asking to sign it that day, it’s now starting to make sense.  

But the jersey isn’t what catches my eyes, it’s the picture under it. It was taken after my very first official game with the Japanese team. Tendou had flown back home for the occasion after months spent away from each other. As I was going around the court with Kageyama, signing autographs for kids, I felt a tap on my shoulder and when I turned around he was standing there, smiling. Pulling him into my arms I lifted him off the ground and held him tight against me as he wrapped his legs around my waist. 

I don’t even need to get closer to know that both our faces show a wide smile in the picture, or that Tendou is holding my face in his hands about to pepper kisses all over it. That we’re both holding back tears, and I can almost feel his breath against my lips when he told me how much he missed me and when I answered with a simple “I love you”. 

If it wasn’t for a journalist capturing that exact moment, this picture would have never existed. We do not have many pictures together in our everyday settings due to us living so far away from each other, even if this picture went around all the tabloids in Japan, I still cherish it and have a copy of my own in our shared house.

There’s a legend underneath but I’m too far away to be able to read it, but before I can stand up Margaux says. “It reads ‘This is a picture of me and my husband, Japanese volleyball player, Ushijima Wakatoshi’. Everyone here, all of our regulars, know who you are. You’re the Boss’ pride and joy and never once have I seen him get tired of mentioning you every time he can. I mean, we had to stop him from turning that one wall into a shrine for you.” She takes out her phone. “I think I have a video somewhere of him rambling about you to a customer. We’ve had to interrupt him so many times or he’d scare the customers away. To this day, the only times he sounds fluent in French is when he talks about you, and we both know how bad he is at French, so it says a lot.” She looks up at me, and I can’t help but chuckle. 

Unfortunately for us, Tendou exits the kitchen just at that moment. “Pardon?! My French is excellent! I was born to speak French!”

“I’m sorry Boss, but quoting Ratatouille doesn’t make you fluent in French…” Margaux lets out before escaping to the kitchen. 

“Is that what you’ve been doing all morning? Dissing my perfect French with my employee?” Tendou says loud enough so that Margaux, who’s standing behind the kitchen doors, can hear him, but he can’t help a smile to grow on his face. Even though they tease each other a lot, he’s quite fond of his employees and knows that if it weren’t for them he would have struggled so much more when he decided to open a chocolaterie here. 

He serves the customer coming in and walks to the table I’m sitting at when they leave. Not bothering with grabbing a chair he just sits on my lap.

“You still haven’t told me what you’re doing here.” He wraps his arms around my neck, his hands playing with the hair at my nape. 

“I did this morning. I said I missed you.”

He stops fiddling with my hair and stares at me until I have to look away. “There’s more to you just missing me, right?”

“No.” I lie through my teeth. 

“Ushijima Wakatoshi, I’ve already told you, you’re a terrible liar. Plus you wouldn’t skip training, just because you’re missing me, especially when you have that charity game against the Black Jackals coming up.” He gently lifts up my chin forcing me to look him in the eyes.  “Now, if you don’t wanna talk about it now because we’re in public, I get it, but tonight I wanna hear all about those feelings of yours that made you come here, okay?”

I nod and he smiles. 

“That’s my boy! Now come here, I’ve missed that pretty face!” He says taking my face in his hands, starting to pepper kisses all over it. 

“Margaux and Elliott could see us.” I say as his lips delicately brush against my cheek. Against the other one.

You would talk 'bout how your weeks been

Then you'd hit me out of the blue...

“I don’t care.” He whispers as he places a soft kiss right above my ear. 

On my forehead. 

“Your customers could see us.” This one lands on my jaw. 

On the tip of my nose. 

“My customers aren’t here.” He lets out under his breath as this one finally lands on my lips.

... With a kiss that doesn't really tell

Way to put me under your spell

And he’s kissing me. Once, twice, until our surrounding turns dizzy. Until I’m nothing more than this one kiss, swiftly becoming more than just a peck on the lips. His fervent mouth is parting my lips, asking for a bit more. And I give it to him. The rush of warmth on my face flows down my whole body like a growing tide and I’m clenching his shirt as he pulls on my hair, deepening the kiss. His hands are everywhere, and yet I can’t get enough of him. I will never get enough of him.

He leaves me breathless as he pulls away, rising from my laps with the most satisfied grin. But I need more and before he can walk away, I grab his wrist and sit him back down on my thighs. He lets out a gasp when my hand reaches for the back of his neck as I bring him closer for another round. 

“Now what was that for?” He says, panting, when we finally pull away. 

“That first one was really good, so I wanted another one.”

“I thought you were scared my customers could see us?”

I lean in, my head resting on his shoulder. “That was before I got a taste of those sweet lips of yours.”

My arm slithers around his waist as I place a peck on his jawline. 

We’re interrupted by Margaux loudly putting down a tray of chocolates on the counter as she comes back from the kitchen before a client gets in. Tendou promptly gets up, his cheeks a light shade of pink.  

“Are you sure you still don’t want to go home?” He asks straightening out the apron he’s wearing. 

“I think I like the view here more than the one I’d get at your apartment right now.” I answer just loud enough for him to hear. 

“What does that mean?”

I stand up and bring my empty plate to the counter. As I get back to the table and brush past him, I tilt my head down and whisper into his ear: “Let’s just say that Margaux picked the right table for me to get a view on the kitchen and that those pants fit you quite well.”

Tendou keeps a straight face as the customer walks past us. “I have to get the new batch of chocolate out of the fridge.” He lets out, before I can feel his breath as he hums into my ear, “But you’ll have to tell me more about that when we get home.”

***

Later that night, when I get out of the bathroom, Tendou is in the kitchen, preparing snacks, his back turned towards me and I have to take a moment to take the sight in. I lean against the doorway and watch him take bowls out of the cupboard or reach for food in the fridge after whispering to himself: “Oh, Ushijima likes those!” or “I need to make him try that!”. The sound of the knife hitting the cutting board as he’s slicing different types of charcuterie or cheeses, and the sound of his voice as he hums along three different songs at the same time fill me up with so much joy that I have to take a deep breath not to start crying. 

He only notices me when I come to rest my head in the crook of his neck and that my arms drape around his waist, swinging us both to the rhythm of the song he’s humming along. His hair, still wet from the shower, is dripping on his collar and I press a kiss on his cheek, before using my own towel to finish drying his hair. “You’re going to catch a cold.”

“Feeling better?” He asks as he leans back into the touch and that his body comes to rest on my naked chest. 

“Yes, although I would have liked it better if you had stayed a little longer in the shower with me.” I had always been fond of the fact that Tendou allowed me a few minutes of alone time after we had come down together in the bathtub, or in the shower, but tonight, those 5 minutes I spent alone in the bathroom had felt like an eternity without him. 

He turns around and wraps his arms around my neck. “I think we can remedy that tomorrow by taking another, longer, shower together. What do you say?”

“I say that I would really like that.” 

“Great, now go put on a shirt or you’re the one who’s gonna catch a cold.” 

I do as he says but not before stealing another gentle kiss from him. 

He has moved on to opening a bottle of wine when I get back from the bedroom with a shirt on and the weighted blanket, so I start unfolding the pull-out couch, and turn on the TV as I wait for him to finish. I close the curtains, and turn off the lights before I make myself comfortable on the couch and start picking a movie. As I’m scrolling down on the streaming platform, I catch a glimpse of a few ones we’ve talked about watching together some time, but I scroll past them and pick one of his favorites. 

“Et voilà!” He announces with the voice of a magician ending a trick.

He barges into the room with a tray of random snacks, and two glasses of rosé almost filled to the brim. The glasses wobble as he puts down the tray on the coffee table and I don’t know how he manages not to spill anything. If it was me, I would still be in the kitchen, walking no faster than a slug, spilling rosé everywhere or breaking a wine glass. 

“Wait, how did you know I wanted to watch Ratatouille?” He exclaims when he sees the TV screen. 

“You’ve been mentioning it quite often lately so I figured you had been meaning to watch it.”

“You’re the best!” He says, grabbing my face with both hands and pressing down a loud smooch on my cheek before cuddling up to me. “I love you.”

***

We’re barely 20 minutes in the movie and I’m starting to doze off when I notice that the bruises on his neck are already turning a darker shade of red. They'll be a bright purple by tomorrow morning. But even though I love the sight of them on his collarbone, I can't help but worry that I was too harsh on him. My fingers brush against them.

“Does it hurt?”

“What?” He asks before realizing I’m talking about the hickeys on his neck. “Oh! No, they don’t and if that’s what you’re wondering, no you didn’t hurt me when you gave them to me.” He sits up. “But let me take a look at your back, though. The marks I made seemed quite red in the shower, but I couldn’t get a good look.”

Before I can say anything, he’s pulling me up. I shiver when he throws away the blanket and takes off my shirt. “That’s not really bad but we should probably disinfect that. Just to make sure.” And so he runs to the bathroom and comes back with gauze and a little bottle of disinfectant.

He stops right in his tracks on his way back. 

"What?" 

"I just got stunned for a minute by how pretty you are." 

And I'm a blushing mess. 

I pause the movie as he sits behind me, landing a peck in between my shoulder blades while he’s at it. 

I wince a little as he sprays the disinfectant on my back and wipes it using the gauze, but he often stops to make sure I’m doing okay, or simply to place a kiss on any part of me he has access to. 

“This is the last one. It’s the only one that’s slightly bleeding, so it’s gonna sting a little.” He warns me before spraying it. “Do you want me to put a bandaid on it? The bleeding is really sparse but your shirt might stick to it a bit during the night.” He asks as he puts away the gauze and puts back the cap on the bottle of disinfectant.

“Yes, please.”

 “Okay, I’ll go grab one.” And so he is off running away again and coming back at lightning speed with a mischievous smile on his face and I don’t even need to see the bandaid to know that he has picked one of those kid ones with a silly pattern. “When are you going back?” He inquires as he applies the bandaid. “And I’m done!”

“Daichi booked me a ticket for the day after tomorrow, late afternoon.” I reply, putting my shirt back on as he moves to lay next to me. I grab the weighted blanket and pull it back on us before I scout closer to him, my arms instantly finding their place around his waist. And I hold him tight, as tight as I can to bask in his warmth, to hear his heart beating in his chest despite the movie playing again in the background. I need to feel his body against mine, to revel in his presence. I almost don’t hear him when he speaks again.

“So, we have almost two whole days together?”

It takes me a few seconds to process his question and query: “Don’t you have work tomorrow?”

“I do, but you’ll come by, right?” There’s a hint of doubt in his voice when he asks that and my heart clenches in my chest a little. “I really liked having you there. I mean, we didn’t see each other much today but just knowing that you were in the next room felt great.”

I got skin as thick as stone, but a heart made out of glass

And I let my temper show then wish that I could take it back...

“Yeah, I know what you mean…” And I do. I know exactly what he means. I reminisce on the few months we spent together after he came back to Japan for a while after he graduated. After our wedding. And I can still hear his laugh when we had to turn off the fire alarm three times in a row because he had tried a new recipe and let it burn on the stove. Or when I was working out and that I could hear him laugh while watching a variety show in the next room. Or when I came back from work and saw the note he had left before going to work saying he would be late that night because he had a dinner party at work. Just simply knowing that he was living there in the house made me happy. But this was almost four years ago. 

My hold around his waist tightens a bit more as those memories flow before my eyes.  

His fingers stop racking through my hair. He tilts up my chin and I know he’s about to ask me something I’m not sure I’m ready to answer. That he’s debating whether he should bring it up or not. I brace myself for the question that’s coming but it doesn’t come and instead he lands the gentlest, most careful kiss on my lips and my heart breaks a little.

I already know what he wants to ask. I’ve worked out the answer already, so why is it so hard to talk about it? We’ve always talked about everything with each other. Never kept secrets. Not when he started feeling the need to leave Japan. Not when I started having more than friendly feelings for Daichi. Not when he had one night stands here. So what’s keeping us from talking about the fact that we obviously miss each other?

... It's hard to find someone to open up to

When your walls were built so tall

That no one's brave enough to break through

So I try to make it easier for him. Easier for us. 

And I say: “Go ahead, ask your question.”

He clears his throat. “It’s just that, earlier, at lunch, you said you missed me, but there was more to that, right? So what was it?”

I sit up in front of him, holding his hands in mine. “It wasn’t much more than missing you, really. I mean, it is a little bit more complicated than that, but it’s hard to explain.” And I'm being honest when I say there isn't much more to that. Because this is what those big feelings of mine are: just longing and yearning for the one man I wish I could spend my every waking moments with. 

“Try anyways” He encourages me in a soft voice. 

And the dam breaks upon those words. Every single thing I've kept for myself during the past few weeks gets out. “It’s just that lately I’ve really felt your absence in a way. I mean we text and call or facetime each other everyday, but I see all my friends going on dates with their partners, going home to their partners and I think I’m kind of jealous of all my friends in a way because everyday I’m coming home to empty rooms. And I can’t sleep because all I think about is the time we had together after our wedding, and how, now, we only spend a couple days together here and there, if we’re lucky a couple weeks. And I know we made this choice together, fully knowing what it meant for us, for our relationship. I knew it was going to be hard at times, but I can’t help wishing I could wake up next to you. 

“Before, I could talk about it with Kageyama because he was going through the same thing with Hinata, but now that Hinata is back and it feels like I have no one to talk to about that kind of stuff anymore. No one who is able to really understand what it really feels like to be craving someone's presence and only be able to hear their voice through a phone.” 

I don't know when I started crying or even when he sat on my lap but when the emotional flood stops he’s holding my face in his hands and wiping away the tears with his thumbs. He pulls me to his chest, one of his hands is rubbing my back while the other is in my hair. He’s grounding me back, soothing bits by bits the pieces of my heart that had been  barely holding together. He’s telling me we’re going to be okay and right now in his arms I want to believe him. I want to believe that he’s right and that we’ll be able to overcome that.

But I'm not beyond repair

I'm just a little lost out here

I'm not as tough as I appear

So if we go there

Handle me with care

***

When the movie ends, Ushijima is fast asleep in my arms. I brush away a strand of his hair and take a moment to gaze upon his face. 

This is the first time, since I saw him this morning, that he looks at peace. His hands are firmly grabbing onto my shirt and I think about what he said earlier and wonder how long he had been feeling like this for him to book a flight on a whim, him who usually plans our vacations by the minute. So right now as I’m holding him in my arms, I wonder if I did something wrong. If I did something that made him feel like he couldn’t talk to me about this. 

And I start thinking about the past few weeks and the things I should have noticed. The fact that he was texting me more often even though he had never been a huge fan of texting and always preferred calls over texts. The fact that these calls were lasting longer and that he had trouble saying goodbye and yet when we video called he was avoiding my gaze. And yet, with all that he was quieter than usual. 

He was giving me less details about his days or forgetting about events I had mentioned before, even though he’s the type to write them down in his calendar app and set a reminder a few days before the event. Him being really flirty earlier today should have given me a hint too. He's not the type to flirt in public. He'll sometimes go for a quick peck if we’re surrounded by people we know, or an eager one if we haven't seen each other for a while. But that second kiss he went for, that was out of character and so were his flirty comment. He only does that when he's drunk or really sleepy. 

I should have seen those signs. I should have noticed that there was something wrong, something he wasn’t telling me. Especially because I know him so well. Because I know that he’s always found it difficult to talk about his feelings. That he’s the type of person who would rather keep everything for themselves and blow it out of proportion by overthinking. And I think about this one time when we had just started dating, when he worried himself sick over the fact that he had trouble with skinship and he was scared to tell me because he thought I would break up with him because of that. And I’m relieved that we didn’t reach that point today but still I can’t help but blame myself because I should have made it easier for him to talk to me.

But I was so caught up in trying to get the new line of chocolates ready for Christmas and getting everything ready for his Christmas present that I did not pay attention to the one person who really needed me.

My arms tighten around him. I press a kiss on his forehead and even though he can’t hear me, I apologize. “I’m sorry Ushijima. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me, but I promise you won’t be hurting much more. I’ll fix that, I promise you.” 

And almost as if he had heard me, he lets out a content sigh and a smile grows on his face. He moves in his sleep and I don’t want to wake him up, but I do nonetheless.

“Mon coeur. Babe.” He buries his head in my chest and mumbles something I don’t understand, so I press another kiss on his forehead. “I know you want to sleep right now, but as much as I’d love to be able to do it, I can’t carry you to bed, so you’re gonna have to help me out on this one.” 

I pull my shirt away from his hold, but he locks me in his arms before I can move so I throw away the blanket, hoping that’ll help. It doesn’t. He tugs me closer, nuzzles up in the crook of my neck and I swear I almost give up, right then, when I feel his warmth grow on me. When I feel his lips brush against my skin when he whispers that he doesn’t want to move, but I shake my head.  

“Ushijima, mon amour, I’m not letting you sleep on the couch tonight, not after the day you spent, so help me out, okay?” I lift his chin up, preventing him from pressing more soft kisses on my neck. “You’ll get to cuddle up all you want once we're all warm and cozy in bed, buried in blankets, okay?” I land a small peck on his lips, hoping it’ll play in my favor. 

And it works. He begrudgingly opens one eye. I give him another peck on the lips. He blinks and I'm left staring at his doe eyes, forgetting what I'm trying to do. 

“One more please.” He pleads in a whisper. 

“And you’ll come to bed with me if I give you another one?”

He nods and I give him another quick peck on the lips before reaching for the back of his neck. I pull him in for a gentle and reverent kiss. 

Satisfied, he lets me go and sits up on the edge of the couch, before making grabby hands at me after I get up and my heart melts. I take his hands and help him up. 

We stagger to the bedroom and he’s already half asleep on me as I pull out the sheets. He lets himself flop on the bed and I tuck him in before joining him under the sheets. I can barely cover myself with the sheets that he’s already pulling me to him.

“Please don’t leave.” He mutters before falling back asleep. 

***

The next day I wake up to an empty bed, so I get up calling Tendou’s name but get no reply. I make my way to the kitchen to find a note on the fridge.

“I’m the one doing all the prep today so I’ll be at the store when you wake up. There’s rice in the rice cooker, leftover soup in the fridge and eggs if you want. The blender is in the bottom cupboard on the left of the fridge if you wanna make a smoothie. Text me when you’re up. Love you!!! ♡”

I take out the soup and put it on the stove to heat up while I go put the note in my bag and take my phone to find out that he already texted me. 

10:38 -Hey, sleepyhead! Surprised you’re not awake yet, but I hope you’re getting a good sleep. You better dream of me.

10:44 -I just talked with one of my regulars, she said she saw you waiting in front of the store yesterday and asked if she’d get the chance to meet you again before you leave. She had a mischievous look on her face, I bet she just wants to spill all the tea with you! You better not show her my middle school haircut if she asks!!

10:45 -Nor my baby pics!!!

10:50 -You’re gonna have to try the new line of chocolates and candies I’m creating for Christmas this year!! I’m so excited to show you!

10:52 -You should bring some back home for the boys and for Daichi!!! I’ll prep a few boxes for you!!

11:14 -If you’re awake I was wondering if you’d like us to have lunch together today but if you’re not, we could have dinner at a restaurant tonight. Just let me know so I can book a reservation. 

11:56 -Damn love! Am I gonna have to come wake you up with a kiss like Snow white?

11:57 -I was kidding, but I wouldn’t mind a kiss when I see you

11:57 -Or maybe a dozen

11:58 -Wait no!! I want thousands! I wanna get as many kisses as I can get before you go back!

12:23 -Are you going to pop by the store today? You don’t have to, that’s okay if you wanna rest, but I’d really like having you there.

12:24 -Though I do have to warn you people are asking after you, so if you don’t wanna deal with people I’d understand. 

12:24 -Anygays, I love you Ushijima Wakatoshi ♡♡♡

I reply to every single text as I’m eating breakfast before I jump into the shower. I pop a couple different fruits and oat milk in the blender, go through every cupboard to find a reusable cup. I rummage through Tendou’s closet, looking for his red scarf and when I finally go out the door, the digital clock of the oven reads 12:57. 

It takes me less than 20 minutes to walk to the store where I’m greeted by Elliott who is behind the counter this time, serving customers. 

“Bonjour! Oh, it’s you! Tendou’s at the back with Margaux and Arthur, I’ll go fetch him for you in a minute.”

“Please, take your time!”

I take a seat while he finishes up with the people queueing. He pops his head in the kitchen and not even 20 seconds later Tendou is barging out of the kitchen, making everyone in the store jump in their chair. The lady closest to the kitchen drops her cup and Tendou rushes to help her.

“Oh mon dieu! Je suis désolé! Excusez-moi! Vous allez bien? On va vous refaire un café, ne vous inquiétez pas! Elliott, tu veux bien refaire un café pour madame et mets lui une ou deux viennoiseries aussi s’il te plait! Encore une fois désolé, madame! Ça va aller?”

She nods and he finishes wiping up her table. He tries cracking up a couple jokes and she smiles, but I think it’s more of an awkward one rather than her liking his jokes because he quickly finishes up and heads to the table where I’m seating. He sits in front of me with a sigh, his head down. His shoulders start shaking and at first I think he’s crying but he bursts into laughter, his cheeks a bright red. He buries his face in his hands. 

“I’m so embarrassed! I made that poor lady drop her coffee.” He lets out in between two bursts of laughter. 

“I know, I saw that.”

“Oh my god!” He tries to stifle a laugh but fails miserably. “What if she had been drinking? She would have spat it all out! She’s never coming back here again! I’m so ashamed, you have no idea!”

I take a peek where the lady is seated. “She doesn’t seem to be rushing out, so I think you’re alright. Elliott is apologizing again, I think. And she’s laughing, a real laugh, not a strained one like when you tried to make a joke. Also that’s the first time I’m hearing you speak French with such ease. I’m really proud of you.”

He whips up his head and wipes the tears coming up at the corner of his eyes. He takes a couple deep breaths and says: “I love you so much, but you could have picked another time to diss my hilarious sense of humor!”

“I love you too. And you know I think you’re the most hilarious person on the planet-” I reach across the table and he leans in. I whisper “-but I don’t think that lady shares my opinion.” 

Tendou lets out a loud chuckle, but quickly hides behind his hand when a couple of people turn around. “I’m gonna lose so many customers because of you…” He clears his throat and sits up, trying to act like all of this didn’t happen, but I see him throwing sidelong glances at the customers around us. “So! Where do you wanna go tonight? I was thinking either our usual Japanese restaurant, or maybe the new restaurant that opened down the street near my apartment, what do you think?”

“I think our usual one might be the best since I’m heading back to Japan tomorrow. I don’t want to risk food poisoning on the plane.” 

“Okay, I’ll make a reservation. But anygays, did you sleep well? You were really tired last night and you were sleeping so deeply when I left you were even talking in your sleep. I hope I didn’t wake you up with my texts this morning, though.”

“That was the best night’s sleep I’ve had in a while. And no, you didn’t wake me up.”

“How long have you not been sleeping well?”

I have to take a moment to think because I actually don’t recall the last time I’ve slept that well, so I’m taking a guess when I answer: “I think two weeks, maybe three.”

“Oh, Ushijima…” Tendou sighs

“I know! I know... I should have told you, but I didn’t want you to worry, especially with all the things you have to do to get ready for Christmas. And I wasn’t ready to talk about it yet either.”

Our discussion is interrupted by Arthur asking Tendou to come back to the kitchen.

He gets up and starts leaving. 

“Am I not allowed even a small peck today? I thought you said you wanted thousands of kisses before I left!” I tease him. 

He runs back, gives me a quick peck and walks to the kitchen, once again apologizing to the lady who dropped her coffee. 

***

Later that day, as the traffic slows down a little, I’m sitting at the counter, speaking with Margaux while she makes me a hot chocolate. I had been signing quite a few autographs today as well, although a bit less than yesterday, but as the sun is starting to die down outside, there’s only a couple of people left in the store. There’s a student who has been revising for the past 2 or 3 hours, forgetting about his drink, which is probably cold by now. There’s another person who got here not too long ago and started reading a book. And there’s the person behind me who has been here for almost as long as the student who turned out to be a writer. We had a nice conversation where they told me about the plot of their story and I must admit it seemed enticing. But seeing those people, each doing their thing, I understand why Tendou loves that place so much.

Margaux pulls me out of my own thoughts “You know, I think he hired Elliott for you.” 

“What do you mean for me? I live in Japan.” 

“Exactly!”

“I’m afraid I’m not following you right now.”. 

“I think he's settling things up to leave. To go back to Japan. For you.”

“What do you mean ‘go back to Japan’? Did he say anything”

“I’m not quite sure, he hasn’t said anything to me yet, but he’s been whispering a lot with Arthur. And the fact that he hired Elliott is a bit weird in my opinion. I mean we didn’t really need him. Sure, the store is getting well known and we’re getting more customers but it could have waited a bit. He wouldn’t have hired someone right now, just before Christmas, if he wasn’t planning something. But he hasn’t told me anything, so maybe I’m reading a little bit too much into this.”

Before I can answer, the machine beeps and she goes to get the cup of hot chocolate. But I can see she has an idea when she brings me my cup a little too quickly. 

“Maybe you could try to get more information out of Isabelle if she comes back today!”

“Isabelle?” The name rings a bell but I can’t remember to whom it belongs.

“The old lady who gave you an umbrella yesterday morning.” Margaux explains, and it comes back. She’s Tendou’s regular. “He weirdly opens up to her more than he does to us, at least when it comes to feelings. When it comes to business he always goes to Arthur first, but you’re gonna have a hard time trying to speak to Arthur alone, so Isabelle might be your best option here. Ah, quand on parle du loup… Isabelle! Comment ça va depuis ce matin? Je parie que vous êtes revenu pour le joli coeur accoudé au comptoir!” I don’t understand what she’s saying but I’m guessing she’s talking about me because the old lady walks up to me.

“So it was you yesterday! You’re the husband of the lovely owner! I thought I had recognized you but I wasn’t sure…”

“I am. It’s nice to finally meet you! Tendou talks about you a lot!”

“Indeed, it’s nice to finally meet the person I hear so much about. Although sometimes it almost feels like we’ve already met a couple times because that boy’s stories never end when it comes to you.”

Margaux saves us from an awkward silence when she asks where Isabelle wants to sit.

“Would you like to join me?” I suggest. “I’m going to wait here the rest of the afternoon for Tendou so I’d really appreciate some company.”

“I would be very glad to do so, but may we switch to a different table? Those high chairs aren’t really comfortable for me.”

“Of course! I have been sitting at that table over there!” I say pointing to the table where I’ve been signing autographs since yesterday. 

We both sit down together and exchange pleasantries. To my utmost surprise she switched to Japanese when we sat down and I learned that she had been a French teacher in Tokyo when she was younger. We’ve moved onto sharing anecdotes about Tendou when she asks. “You have something on your mind, don’t you, my dear?”

“How do you know?”

“Let’s say Tendou was right when he said your face was as easy to read as an open book. So what’s bothering you, sweetheart?”

“It’s just that Margaux mentioned something earlier and she said you might be able to help me understand what she meant…”

“I can try, but you’re going to have to tell me what it was if you want me to help.”

I take a deep breath, trying to find the best way to word what has been going on in my mind. “She said Tendou might be thinking of going back to Japan. Permanently.”

“Oh…”

The awkward silence that follows is enough of an answer to tell me that Margaux was right. “So, it’s true?”

“Well…” She hesitates and I’m guessing she isn’t sure she’s allowed to tell me but she must be feeling my concern because she continues anyway. “Your husband hasn’t figured it all out yet, he’s still trying to decide what to do with this place, but yes. He’s pretty set about going back to Japan.”

“But why? I mean he’s doing well here, so why would he want to go back? He spent years trying to make it here and, now that he has finally fulfilled his dream, he wants to give it all up?”

“I’m not your husband, so I can’t say for sure, but I guess the answer is pretty obvious. I mean it is to me. We talked about it again this morning, actually, and the answer is you. You’re the reason he wants to go back to Japan.”

She tries to explain, tries to tell me about Tendou’s plans, and I want to tell her that she’s wrong, that she must be mistaken, but when I open my mouth nothing comes out. So I’m sitting here, listening to that lady telling me about Tendou wanting to go back home as every sound becomes a blur and I watch my world crumbling apart because Tendou made a promise and now he’s breaking it.

***

I don’t remember going back home. I only remember bits and pieces of our date at the restaurant. I remember cutting his hair, but everything in between is blurred. As I lay in bed, I feel myself coming back. The conversation I had with Isabelle is stuck in my head, and I can’t sleep.

When did I get so obsessive?

I'm obsessing over nothing...

Pushing away the blankets I get out of bed before I suffocate and go to the bathroom; maybe freshening up will help. So I splash water on my face. Once. Twice. It feels like I'm drowning. This is clearly not working. I need something else. If I was in Japan I would go on a run, but I'm not and I don't know my way around Paris, so going for a run is not an option. I decide that maybe a glass of water will help so I head for the kitchen.

...I wish I could erase our past

'Cause now I'm sticking through this overpass

There’s a picture of us on the fridge that catches my eye. It’s partly hidden by bills and another picture, but I can still see us clearly, posing in front of his store on the opening day. 

I can still recall the joy on Tendou's face when he told me about this new project. The absolute glee in his voice when he called me to say that the renovation work was complete and they would be able to open up soon. But most of all I can clearly recall his first words when he stepped into the chocolaterie on the opening day: ‘This is a dream come true.’

And now Isabelle's words echo in my head and they don't make sense to me. We promised each other we'd never get in the way of our dreams, that was our rule. That's why we've lasted so long. We've both been fulfilling our dreams and making our relationship work. So hearing that Tendou is thinking about giving it all up because of me. Especially just after I told him I'd been missing him so much.

That's exactly the reason I didn't want to tell him what was going on. Because I don't want to be the reason he doesn't fulfill his dream. I don't want him to end up resenting me for having to give up his dream because I couldn't stay alone in a house. I don't want him to give up the thing he worked so hard for. The thing that makes him happy. The thing that made his childhood easier to bear. That makes his bad days a little better. The thing that makes his eyes shine when he gets new ideas. 

I've come to the conclusion that I don't want to impose that on him when I hear footsteps behind me and I realize that I got here for a glass of water and that I’m standing in front of the fridge with my glass still full, not knowing how long I’ve been standing there. I turn around and I’m met with a sleepy Tendou, looking at me with his eyes half open. 

He drags himself across the kitchen and stops in front of me. His arms find their place around my waist as he rests his chin on my chest. He looks up at me with a pout.

“Please, come back to sleep. I’m cold without you.”

I chug down the glass of water before cupping his face in my hands and placing a gentle peck on his pouty lips. 

He wraps his arms around my neck as I squat down to grab the back of his knees and his head rolls in the crook of my neck when I lift him off the floor. I can feel his breath against my skin as I carry him back to the bedroom and when he whispers:

“I wish you could stay a little longer.”

“I wish I could, too.” I answer as I let him down on the bed.  

***

When I wake up the next morning, the bed is cold beside me. Ushijima isn’t here and I’m carefully tucked in bed. I call for him but the only answer I get is the calm silence of my apartment. Maybe he went to the bakery. Last night, at the restaurant, he did say he had missed being able to eat so many pastries and he often plans a trip to the bakery whenever he visits so he can bring back pastries to Japan. This always comes as a surprise to me because Ushijima never had that big of a sweet tooth but he’s a sucker for pastries. I still remember the first time he tried to bring some pastries back to Japan. I was still a student, I think it was the first year we had been away from each other, and that was the first time he had visited. I remember him calling me when he got back to his apartment, to tell me about the airport security pulling him aside because they thought the contents of his baggage was suspicious so they wanted to take a look. It turned out he had packed too much food and they had to take away a bunch of the pastries he had tried to sneak into his baggage, especially the ones that had custards or other types of similar filling because they weren’t packed in the right containers. So I wouldn’t be surprised if he was raiding the bakery down the street of all their pastries.  

So I got up and took a shower, thinking that he’d be back when I got out of the shower. Except, I take my sweet time in the shower, and when I get out of the bathroom about half an hour later he’s still not back, so I start to worry.

Talked about it last night, thought I was fine

Helped you pack your things, put your bags in the hallway...

He hasn’t answered the text I sent him before getting into the shower, so I try to call, but he doesn’t answer. Maybe he went on a run. I try not to panic. He had been restless all night, waking me up a couple of times because he kept tossing and turning in bed. And when I found him in the kitchen he looked lost in his thoughts. So I go to the kitchen because, if he did go on a run, he would have left a note in the kitchen, next to the coffee machine, because he knows that's usually the first thing I do when I wake up. So that’s where I’m headed, cursing myself for not doing that today, but there’s nothing next to the coffee machine, neither on the fridge nor on the kitchen table. And I start to panic this time. What if something happened? He doesn’t speak French and French people do not speak English and even less Japanese. So I try to call him another time, but this time I’m greeted by a voice that tells me the user I’m trying to call cannot be reached at the moment. And I’m submerged by anxiety.

He’s alone, somewhere in Paris, and his phone is off. So I rush back to the bedroom to grab a coat and that’s when I see it, sitting on my bedside table.

...Maybe in a past life, problems aside

We could make it home, I'd hear you when you're calling

And my heartbeat slows down for a second until I realize the piece of paper sitting on my bedside table is too big to be just a note. I sit on the side of my bed and grab the paper. I unfold it to discover it’s a letter written in Ushijima’s awkward handwriting. 

“Dear Satori,

Four years ago, we made a decision. We chose to live away from each other: you in France, me in Japan. We had done it before so how hard could it be this time around? We did it once, we could do it twice, right? But today I’ve come to realize that we were wrong and that we made the wrong decision that day and I’ve been holding on for too long.

Missing you isn’t the reason I came here and, even if it’s an undeniable truth, that’s not the real reason. The real reason is that I’m tired of missing you and I don’t want to keep living like this.

I don’t want to keep waiting for you to walk through the door every evening. I don’t want to keep living surrounded by empty rooms that scream your absence. I don’t want to keep living my life as if everything is going well when the only thing I want to do is scream until I cannot utter a single sound. 

I’m sorry if this comes as a shock to you (guess I’m a better liar than you thought I was). But I'm done acting like this doesn't affect me, because I'm tired, really tired Tendou. I know that we've come a long way, that we overcame so much, but this doesn't feel like something we're going to be able to get through. 

I meant to tell you earlier. I meant to tell you face to face, I thought I could do it. But having you in front of me made every speech I had prepared fly out the window and I couldn’t summon the courage to say it out loud and so instead I’m doing the shittiest thing I could possibly do: writing you this letter. 

But now I can finally say it: I’m letting go.  

Ushijima Wakatoshi.”

[alhl444]

i think the scariest thing about myself is that i am a product of everything that has happened to me. everything life has thrown at me and everything i’ve thrown at myself is why i am here.

here.

i mean i think it’s kind of funny that half of the traumatic events of my life wouldn’t have happened if a bunch of random shit didn’t destroy me in elementary school.

who would I be now?

what would i be doing?

would i be okay?

and i look back at the years past and they keep getting farther away,

it’s like i’m standing in the middle of a desolate street in the middle of a field and it’s raining heavily and i’m running and running and running and running and i don’t even know if i’m running to something or running from something.

am i grateful for who i am or am i scared of her?

and i can’t describe this feeling because it’s not just one. it’s this whole plethora of emotions that don’t make sense. because i want to sit in the middle of the very street i’ve been running on and taste the rain and listen to it hit the ground while a song plays in the background and wet hair and maybe just maybe i’ll be at peace.

peace is subjective to even myself though. peace for me would literally be my brain quiet or just nothing. no people to talk to no relationships to maintain.

but i also want to go out and forget about fucking calories and do absolutely everything that terrifies me and do it with the people i love.

if i even really love them.

do they even really love me?

and there’s this heavy, raw feeling i have deep in my bones. i don’t know what the feeling is or if i even want to know.

are we even supposed to understand the things that scare us the most?

and i am a strong believer that no one knows what happiness feels like unless they have experienced true sadness.

i understand that more than a lot of people i think.

speaking as someone who has spent a vast majority of ages 10-13 sad and lonely and just as desolate as the street i run on, i can say that i have enjoyed the few moments of pure happiness that have met my path. those moments of pure lavender flood my senses and make me feel so high like i just took two lines of cocaine and i feel on top of the world and then i slip off the edge of the sphere. and the fall from the highest place in the world is the scariest fall but it’s the one i enjoy the most.

how lucky am i that i have experienced moments so happy that i feel so alone when i am not living them?

and when lavender isn’t around, i make up different versions and i find solace from the same thing i need solace from. i live in those corners of my mind.

maybe someone’s lips touching my own.

a rush i crave simply because i haven’t felt it. and i think it feels so good to imagine the things i’ve never felt.

i imagine myself, older, with a girl or a guy and we are dancing in our kitchen and there are pancakes on the stove and i am content and happy and free and i am fucking okay.

what a dream.

and im running and im running and running and my hands are turning red from the tears i’m bleeding and maybe just maybe this wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

because there’s mascara running down my puffy cheeks and i’m staring up at the gray sky like i’m searching for an answer that i already know is not there.

who am i

what is wrong with me

where is the lavender

and i swear on my life i’m not a masochist and hate my own suffering and my own body and how i love and hate everything about how my existence is a pain and 3 tylenols and how i fucking thrive in that.

and i can’t fucking pick if i’m afraid of living or dying because i lay awake at night terrified that someone will come into my house and kill me but when i run in the road i question if i should move when a car comes speeding towards me.

isn’t that funny.

~

obsessive bitch

(this is one of my more personal ones; give feedback :))

[rhysand-vs-fenrys]

What... happens to the Sky guy? I don't need TWs but I wanted to know since you have kind of hinted at stuff in tags.

Below the cut, but again, for anyone else reading, like just assume every trigger warning applies.

Sky is 16 (living on his own in Bangkok to attend school) when he falls in with a rougher crowd and is approached by a grown man in his 20s.

So, immediately, illegal and all red flags up.

Sky starts a relationship with this guy that quickly turns sexual, and then his friends start seeing bruises and cigarette burns on his arms.

It never gets very specific timeline wise, but at some point the relationship turns highly abusive. The man even forcibly pierces Sky's nipples during sex, and there are flashbacks to Sky begging him to be gentle as Sky is slammed on the bed.

That all comes to an awful peak one night when Sky gets to the man's place and he is thrown to a group of the guy's friends. As Sky begs his then-partner to save him and stop the men who are stripping him, the guy says he's bored with Sky, and that he's nothing more than a sex toy. That is all he and his love is worth.

As abusive as the relationship is, Sky had put his entire heart into it. And this guy proceeds to laugh at Sky's screams as he is gangraped.

Sky ends up in a hospital briefly, then in his father's house, near catatonic after the assault. It terrifies his father, and Sky never tells him what happened, but he has some ideas because of violent nightmares Sky has.

To hide his trauma, Sky returns to Bangkok and goes back to school and college there, claiming to his father he is alright, when really he still has horrifying nightmares and triggered flashes to the attack.

Fast forward a couple-few years to the events of the show.

Sky is aggressively pursued by playboy Pai, who has fallen in love with him after a one night stand (that he doesn't know was very triggering for Sky, who because of his trauma felt forced to participate (that was very much not Pai's intention)).

Pai is the star racer in this illegal underground street race, one Sky knew about because his ex had talked about it (that was long before Pai was involved in the race).

Pai knows about Sky's night terrors, and he has a vague sense that Sky was assaulted somehow. Sky does not believe he is allowed to love Pai, and does not believe Pai is capable of loving him because he sees himself as trash to be used and thrown away. What his ex said to him as he was raped has very much rooted in his mind.

Going to the races with Pai, Sky is noticed and targeted by the men who raped him, who also notify his ex.

One of them gets the keys to Pai's condo- which Pai only uses for hookups anyways, so when he isn't using it he will let others borrow. Pai is suspicious, but it isn't unusual for him to lend the place out, so he hands over the keycard.

Sky's ex corners him and manages to trigger Sky. He decides to flee the race entirely, and a guard (bribed by the ex) tells him Pai wants him to go to the condo. Sky has his own keycard, so he immediately agrees.

Rain (Sky's best friend, who does not know about Sky being assaulted because he met Sky after that incident) drops Sky off and returns to the race.

Sky walks in to his ex and the men who assaulted him all waiting. They pin him down, and keep telling him Pai got tired of Sky and gave him to them, using the same words his ex used during the gangrape, and citing the fact that Pai gave them the key as proof. Sky doesn't exactly believe it, but he crumbles under hopelessness as he is forced to the bed just like when he was younger.

Pai figures out something is wrong back at the race and he, Rain, and Rain's boyfriend (chief mechanic of the races) all rush to the condo.

But they arrive too late. Sky's ex is in the process of raping him, and Sky is fully catatonic.

Rain stays with Sky as Payu (Rain's boyfriend) guards the front door to keep the men all in the condo, and Pai beats Sky's ex half to death. Shortly after, the chief guard of the race arrives and takes control of the scene.

It is heavily implied the chief guard- remember, mafia- finish the job and kill at least the ex, if not the others as well. Dead or alive, none of the rapists- nor the guard they bribed- is leaving whole that night.

Pai has Rain dress Sky, and brings him back to his (Pai's) house. Sky is terrified of even the shadow of Pai's sister, visibly flinching away from anything and hiding against Pai's side until Pai closes the door to his bedroom and helps Sky sit down.

Sky finally tells Pai about the original abuse when he was a teen, and from then on, Pai does everything he can to help Sky recover psychologically and emotionally, and provides Sky with a very stable, very encouraging, very healthy romance to feel safe in.

He remains playful and flirty to Sky, but also is extremely deliberate in physical touch and very respectful of what Sky is comfortable with.

Sky is also pretty much adopted by Pai's entire family, and utterly drowned in love and support.

As he deserves.

[alteredphoenix]

An Unexpected Joyride (The Veleanor Modern AU #7)

A/N: While I'm thinking of which Celia/Michelle WIP I'm going to pull from the USB Drive and work on next (and given the month we're in, it'll probably something holiday-themed), I decided to open this guy up since it's last update in June 23 (to which it was created in May 23 of this year) after I received a lovely ask from an Anon last night about the Veleanor Modern AU series.

I had been thinking about this WIP on and off again since the last time I touched it, and I figure now would be a pretty good time to dust it off and work on this while (1) I am browsing my WIP list and (2) it's still on my mind before the brain decides To Go Brrrr and plunks it back into the far recesses of the thoughtful nether where all things belong and go to.

This is also the fic where Magilou makes her first actual appearance! But the WIP so far hasn't gotten to that point yet (but it's almost there!), so this little snippet will do for now.

Part of the summary goes as such: "(Or: Magilou has a busted muffler and it needs to be fixed last month, so Velvet, being the good convict that she is, decides to drive the damn car to the auto shop herself. As always, Magilou makes for...interesting company.

There are less than one-hundred ten hours to go.)" (I honestly might change this up as I go along idk, I kind of want to try fitting the countdown into the titles somehow)

(At the moment, the doc is sitting at 2.1k words. I get the feeling it might turn into a longfic, or close to it, so I foresee this maybe reaching around the 10k mark. Even if it doesn't, it's a good idea to set a tentative goalpost - Just To Be On The Safe Side.)

-

The first thing that Velvet notices that today is not going to be like any other normal day in this corner of hell upon waking up at six in the morning is there’s a distinct lack of music playing somewhere from the next block over. Only the fan churning quietly in the corner and the distant early morning traffic that would surely get drowned out by a higher setting could be heard.

Why the fuck...? is the first thing she thinks of after listening to the world, and then she frowns and glares up at the ceiling. No. It’s nothing. Quit being fucking paranoid all the time. With a grunt she pushes herself up onto her elbows and swings her legs off to the side of the bed. Just as she’s about to stand, she stops, and glances behind her, mattress creaking with the motion.

On his back, with his paws up in the air, Doodle snores gently, his smile eternal.

Velvet slowly shakes her head, gets up, and starts the day.

The sun is just peeking over the horizon when she’s refreshed, alert, and wondering once more how she’s going to spend her day off. The tiled floor on her bare feet say it’s cool, but one glance out the door into the world beyond the houses with their manicured lawns and the vehicles parked on the sidewalk next to their trash and recycle bins and then the street that’s plunging away down the decline and deeper into Pendrago proper and Velvet can already feel the heat is going to be a motherfucker.

This is the second thing that crosses her mind when she goes back into the kitchen to open up the fridge and crack open an ice-cold bottle of canned coffee that Eizen loves to call Aifread’s finest espresso on this side of the equator, grown and brewed straight from the coastal towns of Shining Blue: hot weather makes for a hot girl in all the wrong ways, and working in the garden, in all her pasty-ass white girl glory, makes for being hot in all the wrong places. At this rate, she’d welcome the rain. She’d even welcome snow, lack of shovels and snowblowers and extreme winter weather survival gear be damned.

Her hand is slick with the gathering condensation. Velvet sighs and halfheartedly knocks it back.

(It’s not the worse coffee she’s ever had. It could be whatever black magic the Katz Gang throws together in their labs, nicked off the boats and the warehouses in their raids from nearby Hellawes to distant Fennmont and Sapstrath in Rashugal – but knowing Eizen, and knowing Eizen’s luck, he’s probably had it and then some. The Reaper’s Curse as he calls it, and Velvet’s not sure if it’s from his time rolling with the Van Eltia Family before he got involved in her bullshit that made him miss death every single time or, as Edna puts it, is ungodly, recklessly stupid enough to somehow avoid going to an early grave by sheer circumstance every single time, without fail.

Velvet likes to think it’s the latter.)

She plugs in the toaster, jams in two cold Pharia cinnamon waffles from the freezer into the slots, and watches them slide out of sight as soon as she primes the lever down and mucks around with the settings (just enough to make it brown; she’d have to be out of her goddamned mind like Rokurou and Eizen are for wanting to have her grains black as sin). Then, after a pause, she walks across the island and turns the TV on. As always, it’s tuned to the news, the necessary evil in her life among the sea of reality shows, game shows spanning back forty years, and other programs that pad the airwaves for the stay-at-home parents, the retired elderly, and people that don’t have anything better to do with their lives.

Thankfully, it’s not about the weather (and anybody with a brain that’s lived in Pendrago, even just Hyland by itself, or the westbound border of Rolance, for more than a month would know that the forecast is almost going to be warm and dry as hell ninety percent of the time), so Velvet more or less ignores it in favor of getting her plate out of the cupboard and preparing the rest of the meal. The toaster hums away.

[kaianfong03]

THE LAST TIME I SAW "YOU"

Canva AI image Generator, with the prompt “A lady looks out the window on a rainy, foggy day. The scene from the window is in a big busy city.”

“When was the last time that I saw you…” Elisabeth looked out of the windows and thought to herself. A thick Murky layer of fog enveloped the busy city. The road was busy with people coming and going, but no one here would stop for her… just like the man she never forgot in her heart would never stop for her. 

“Where are you, Noah?” She asked with tears trickling down from the corners of her eyes. 

“I miss you, I miss you every single day even every single second of my life. It’s always so painful when I think of you. I shouldn’t let you go… I know I shouldn’t.” The lady whimpered. 

As she continued to gaze out into the foggy street, Elisabeth heard the pattering of tar drops hitting the pavement. The sound seemed to echo the rhythm of her heart, slowly breaking into pieces with every passing moment.

Canva AI image Generator, with the prompt “At midnight of a foggy day in a big city, a tall  black-hair man with handsome looks walked toward me from far away with his dim figure.”

Suddenly, a silhouette appeared in the distance, walking towards her through the thick fog. As the figure grew closer, she realized it was the guy, the one she could never forget in her life. 

“Noah.. are you…really Noah?” The words were on the tip of her tongue, but it seemed impossible to ask. Perhaps, Elisabeth is afraid of an answer from him. She cannot believe her eyes; everything is so surreal.

Gradually, she could hear the footsteps of this tall, mature gentleman with black hair. Elisabeth's heart raced as he drew near, wondering if this was really him. The man stopped in front of her and gazed into her eyes, his own filled with tears.

“When was the last time that I saw you…” he whispered, echoing her thoughts.

“When was the last time that I saw you…When was the last time that I saw you…When was the last time that I saw you…”  It kept hovering in the ears of these former and familiar lovers. The whole city seemed to be still in this space. Elisabeth couldn't speak, tears streaming down her face as she reached out to touch him. He took her hand and pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her as they both wept tears of joy. 

”I thought you would never leave me alone; I thought I was not that important to you…” She said.

 “I know that I was too selfish at that time. I was hoping you give up everything you have to leave with me. I left there because it has no more opportunity for me, but also I killed the opportunity for us by my own hands.” Noah's voice was low and sorrowful as he spoke. Elisabeth listened to him carefully, her heart aching with every word he uttered.

"But now, I realize how much I need you in my life. Elisabeth. I can't imagine spending another day without you," Noah continued, his eyes never leaving hers.

Elisabeth felt a surge of hope and love within her. She had never stopped loving Noah, even after all these years. And now, he was, standing before her, confessing his feelings.

"I've missed you too, Noah. So much," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

The two of them stood there, lost in each other's eyes, their emotions raw and unfiltered. The rain continued to fall outside, but they didn't notice. The world had stopped spinning for them.

“Beep Beep,” a vast tuck horned on Elisabeth. She’s standing in the middle of a crosswalk with no one around her.

Canva AI image Generator, with the prompt “On a foggy evening, a girl standing alone in the middle of a crosswalk in a busy city”

[downtownlightsmsw]

 The Rain Encounter (3)

Bella’s heart raced. She doesn’t know why but he seemed familiar to her as if she has seen him before. Was he a celebrity? 

The man slowly and leisurely crossed the distance between them. He went very close that their bodies touched. Instantly, Bella felt suffocated, but could only stand rigid in her place. With one long finger, he flipped a strand of hair that had stuck to her forehead. His brown eyes squinted at her. His skimming, smoldering gaze seemed to be stinging her exposed skin, boring holes to places he set them. Although she was wearing clothes, she felt naked.

Bella: (Who is this guy? Why does he come so close to me, but I do not feel threatened or afraid?) No thanks. I live a few blocks away from here. Its ok.

The rain suddenly pours even heavier, forcing both of them to huddle to the corner. 

Bella: I’ll wait it out. Thanks. 

Sang-Woo: Then I’ll wait it out with you. It's dangerous for a lady to be alone in these wee hours. I have nowhere else to go anyway.

Bella: (I must be out of my mind to not walk away... when he could be dangerous himself, but I’ll take the risk. I can’t help but want to be with this stranger)

They squat at the back alley under his umbrella. Bella can’t help but notice how nice he smells. He smells of sandalwood and tobacco. A little musky, a little exotic, a little sexy... she thought to herself. 

Bella: I love the rain. I love how it softens the outlines of things. The world becomes softly blurred and I feel like I melt right into it.  It's my favorite weather.

Sang-Woo: Rain is not only drops of water. It’s the love of the sky for the earth. They never meet each other but sends love this way. It's a quote I read somewhere. (Looks at Bella and smiles)

Sang-woo : (Like the rain, I have fallen for you)

The rain stops. Bella suddenly realizing that she was musing with a handsome stranger at a back street, got up embarrassed and quickly started to walk away.

Bella: Thank you for your company and umbrella. Bye!

She runs into an adjacent building, leaving Sang-Woo staring into the puddles on the street.

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