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ancuninspawn · 6 days ago

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Bon appétit: Chapter 13: Funnel Cake

[Astarion/Gale]

It's 2 a.m., Gale's tired and wants some food. Astarion, the cute barista/waiter at the Emerald Grove knows how to sate his cravings.

Trigger warning (18+): Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, No Magic, No Vampire, No Wizard, Graphic Description of Sex, Smut, Cum Eating, Blowjob/Fellatio, Frottage, Food Puns, Cheesy Dialog (Pun intended), Waiter Astarion, Professor Gale, Semi-Public Sex, Depraved Carnal Lust

Served to: @patheticfangirl

(I'm sorry for serving plot with the porn, but I can't help myself. I love them too much. >⁠.⁠<)

Athkatla was a bustling metropolis known for its stately temples and royal palace, as well as its beautiful, luscious botanical gardens. Unfortunately, like everything else, Athkatla's beauty had fallen victim to capitalism. Shops with cheaply-made but expensive souvenirs and countless restaurant that sold overpriced 'authentic' Athkatlan cuisine had popped up everywhere like mushrooms in the fall. Now, everything had to be milked and turned into tourists traps. There were a permanent carnival and a Ferris wheel too.

Astarion loathed the place. It was overcrowded, overpriced, and overrated. Still, he couldn’t be too mad about it when he saw how enthusiastic his husband was about all the historical sightseeing. Gale had brought along a honest-to-god hard copy of a guidebook, reading the descriptions of the sightseeing spots aloud to share them with Astarion. It was endearing.

Unfortunately, the couple was forced to cross the carnival to reach the other side of the city. This meant they had to squeeze past honking clowns, pantomimes, and screaming children with candy-covered fingers. Astarion wrinkled his nose and hastily pulled Gale away from the centre of the bustle. He did stop though, to buy some overpriced funnel cake and a candy apple. They leaned against a tree to take a break and hide from the sun.

"Did you know that the carnival’s running non-stop since it was built sixty-five years ago?" babbled Gale.

"No, and I also don't care," retorted Astarion and shovelled some funnel cake into his mouth. Immediately, the taste of oil and sugar was everywhere, and Astarion could barely restrain a gag. His teeth hurt from the too-sweet snack.

"Apparently, the carnival started out much smaller, but grew over time," Gale continued. "People seem to be less interested in the original part because there are no food courts and the booths are a bit run down."

"Fascinating," grumbled Astarion, not at all fascinated by the trivia, and threw the paper plate of uneaten funnel cake into the nearby bin. Then, he tried to bite into the candy apple and almost cracked a tooth. It wandered into the trash can too.

"Let's check it out since it's less crowded."

"Let's not."

"Oh, come on, Astarion. Let's go on an adventure. I'm sure it'll be fun."

"I doubt it," the addressed replied, giving a sniff of disapproval, but nothing could dampen Gale's high spirits. With a beaming smile, he took Astarion's hand and led him towards the original part of the carnival, which was located behind a tree avenue, and named "The Circus of the Last Days".

The guidebook hadn't lied; this part was rather shabby and dilapidated. The wood and canvases of the booths and tents were sun-bleached, and the once vibrant paints were flaking off.

As Astarion and Gale entered the old carnival, a handsome man in his mid-thirties with auburn hair greeted them, smiling brightly.

"Welcome to the Circus of the Last Days! Have fun, and be sure to catch the star of the show, Dribbles the Clown!"

"Ugh! I hate clowns!" groaned Astarion.

Smirking, Gale pulled his husband along to look at the stalls. The first they encountered was a hole-riddled tent with a slanting banner that read "Zara the Mummy". The aforementioned person sat on a rusty chair in front of the tent, shaded by the propped up awning, and wrapped in red fabric strips. It must have been an uncomfortable costume - but maybe it was airy enough to avoid getting a heatstroke. When the 'mummy' spotted them, she threw up her hands in a welcoming gesture and greeted them with an enthusiastic "Mmmh!". Gale waved back. It was silly but adorable. Now, encouraged, Zara jumped up from the squeaky chair and gestured wildly with her hands while making mummy noises.

"Hmhm mmh mmhm?"

"Are you offering to paint our faces?" asked Gale.

"Mhm," nodded Zara.

"Do you have different options?"

"Mhm. Mhmhm. Mmmhm?"

She pointed at a yellowed poster which showed four different kinds of face paint designs.

"Ah, I see," chuckled Gale, seemingly amused. "And how much does it cost?"

"Mh," Zara answered, holding up five fingers.

"Five gp?"

"Mhm."

"Well... alright then. - Astarion, which option do you like best?"

"Excuse me?!" The addressed stared at his husband indignantly. "I won't let a mummy mutilate my perfect face!"

"Hmm!" complained Zara, visibly miffed.

"She's a professional," Gale said. "Let her work her magic."

"Mhm," nodded the 'mummy' happily. Astarion glared at both of them before sighing defeated.

"Fine. I want the "Day of the Dead" motive."

"Mh!" squealed Zara, throwing her arms up excitedly.

"I think the clown makeup would suit you better," teased Gale, and got a withering look in response. Astarion sighed deeply, but sat down on the wobbly chair to let the 'mummy' paint his face. Gale watched, amused, with his arms folded, as the artist carefully applied the paint.

After seven minutes, she was done and handed Astarion a mirror to present her work to him.

"Not bad," praised the blond, pleasantly surprised how well it looked. The area around his eyes was painted pitch-black and the outer lines were adorned with dark red, lace-like loops. With the same red, there was a small flower drawn on his chin. The rest of his face was contoured with more black, and his mouth looked like they had stiches in them, spreading wider than his actual lips, making him look a bit like the Joker.

"Your turn, darling," Astarion said, gesturing towards the chair. Smirking, Gale sat down and chose the skull design.

Another seven minutes later, the brunet sported a white face with yellow teeth, black and grey contour, and black slits along the nose to imitate the hollow, three dimensional nasal cavity.

"You look more beautiful than ever," jibed Astarion and Gale rolled his eyes at him, amused. They paid Zara and explored the rest of the old carnival.

A little person with a top head sold a variety of trinkets at a stall called "Popper's Pop-up Store" and tried to persuade them into buying some 'treatos'.

Lucretious - an elderly drag queen in an elaborated gown, adorned with star and moon sequins that jingled with every movement - extolled a group of artists who were balancing on a rope, spewing fire, and juggling apples.

An odd couple sold 'high-quality marble statues' at their booth called "Stoney and Boney's Bespoke Creations", but one closer look revealed the 'marble' to be cheap plaster that was already crumbling.

A fortune-teller pressed them on reading their palms to see the fate of their relationship. Astarion and Gale waved her off, but she still told them that their bond was 'destined for great pleasures and even greater emotions', whatever that supposed to mean.

At the back corner of the carnival stood a wooden stage where the infamous 'star' of the circus was doing his show. Dribbles the Clown wore a gaudy costume, his pink-blue hair slicked back with too much gel, and the face paint was smudged from sweating under the midday sun. An old, greying Rottweiler was laying at his feet, panting harshly due to the heat.

In a two too-small cages on the right resided a huge, red lizard and a panther. The plaques revealed their names to be Crimson and Shadow-Whiskers. While the lizard lay there apathetically, the panther was walking back and forth nervously. They both looked half-starved and the lack of air conditioners or shade didn't help.

"This borders on animal cruelty," muttered Gale, frowning deeply.

"Buddy the dog is my very best friend. Do you know why?" yelled Dribbles cheerfully. Astarion, Gale, the senior couple next to them, and a father with his child kept quiet.

"Because with him, anything is paw-sible. Wa-hey!" the performer answered his own question, making finger guns. The child frowned, the old man started a coughing fit and his wife patted him on the back.

"Oh good, puns. Because clowns aren't enough of a horror already," Astarion scoffed, clapping sarcastically.

"Hmm. Not to my taste, but I'll take a clown over some hack magician pulling peonies from his breeches," retorted Gale.

"For my next trick, I need a friend to join me on stage. Come on up!" Dribbles cheered. With a shit-eating grin, Gale poked his husband's upper arm and suggested: "You should go up there. You love the spotlight, don't you, sweetheart?"

"What? No. Don't you dare. This isn't funny!" the addressed hissed through clenched teeth, and Gale just had to tease him some more.

"Go on, Astarion. Have some fun."

"Absolutely not! If you force me up there, I'll fucking kill you!"

Laughing gleefully, Gale pulled his sulking husband into a hug and led him away from the stage.

"Who's ready to join me and Buddy?" asked Dribbles, trying to cover up his panic with a cheery tone. "If no one joins us, Buddy will get reeeally sad."

The old man was still coughing and the child started crying hysterically. Their father picked them up with a sigh and hurried towards the green-haired, young woman in a jester outfit who was selling cotton candy.

"You could have gone up there yourself, you know?" groused Astarion, still slightly miffed. Gale snorted.

"I might as well go mount the gallows."

They laughed and made their way over to the cotton candy stall. The child, who'd been wailing mere seconds ago, was now stuffing their face with the sweet treat, making happy noises. Visibly relieved, their father paid the vendor and waddled off with his kid.

"Hi!" greeted the green-haired woman.

"Hello, two cotton candies, please," Gale told her.

"You can choose the colours and flavours, you know?" smiled the vendor.

"Oh! That's new," the brunet blurted out. "I've never done that before."

The woman nodded.

"Yeah, it's our speciality. White is vanilla-flavoured, pink is strawberry, green is apple, orange is, well, orange. And... we have a special flavour you cannot get anywhere else: goodberry!"

"Why on earth would anyone want such a sour taste?" asked Astarion, wrinkling his nose.

"Because it balances out the sweetness and tastes more refreshing," the vendor explained. "It's rather pleasant, trust me."

"I'd like to try all flavours. Is that possible?" asked Gale, and Astarion almost laughed.

"Sure," beamed the woman, "but the cotton candy will be bigger then. It's easier to make it that way. Would you still like two pieces, or would you like to share one huge cotton candy?"

"We'll share," Gale answered quickly.

"Okay."

The young woman filled the first sugar mixture into the machine and switched it on. While spinning the spiderweb-like sugar onto a wooden stick, she sang a cheerful song. Gale recognised it from the classic stage play "Illithid Love: The musical" in which a bounty hunter goes after a monster and falls in love with it. This musical – by none other than Faerûn's most famous author Volothamp Geddarm – had been an instant hit, but caused a bit of a controversy because of the love scene between the bounty hunter and the tentacle monster.

"You have a beautiful voice," Gale told the vendor earnestly. "You should try your luck at performing."

The woman laughed.

"Thank you, and I did, but my dreams were crushed after being repeatedly told that I'm too fat and too ugly to be an actress. So, cotton candy making it is. There are worse jobs than standing around all day until your feet hurt."

Gale frowned, quickly glancing at the woman again before he retorted: "You're neither fat nor ugly, my dear. Don't let other people get in your head and trample your dreams."

The corner of her mouth ticked up.

"Speaking from experience?"

"Unfortunately."

"It wasn't me!" Astarion chimed in hastily, and the vendor snickered.

"I thought so. You two look way too happy to be crushing each other's dreams. - Here you go, gentlemen. That'll be five pg."

"Thanks."

Smiling, Gale handed her the money, and they left with a wave of their hands.

"You're so adorable, darling," giggled Astarion. "'Don't let other people get in your head and trample your dreams'. So cute."

"Shut up," chuckled Gale, ripped off some of the vanilla-flavoured cotton candy, and stuffed it in his husband's mouth. Snickering, the latter let it dissolve on his tongue. Gale tried some of the goodberry flavour, and it tasted lovely. He held some of it out for Astarion who took it immediately. With a hum, the blond closed his mouth around Gale's fingers, sucking off the melted sugar. The brunet's eyes widened and his dick twitched. With a lewd moan, the blond pulled back and licked his lips before opening his mouth and lolling out his tongue. Swallowing thickly, Gale placed some strawberry-flavoured cotton candy on that pink tongue. Astarion closed his eyes as he ate the offering. When he opened them again, they were dark with lust.

"Astarion," Gale said warningly, but felt his self-restraint crumble like a dainty meringue under the slightest pressure of fingertips. His husband stepped closer, right up into Gale's personal space, and the latter almost went cross-eyed to look at him.

"I'd like to try the orange flavour," Astarion purred, parting his lips once more. A bolt of arousal rushed down Gale's spine and he quickly tugged off some of the spun sugar. Feeding it to his husband was a bad idea, because the latter flicked his tongue across Gale's fingers and made a show of swallowing the cotton candy.

"Astarion..." breathed the brunet helplessly. His head was spinning from the heat, the arousal, and the way the blond's soft, wet tongue was sucking at his fingers.

"Feed me something else, love," Astarion whispered. "Something thick and long and hard."

He punctuated the last word by squeezing Gale's half-chub through his Bermuda shorts. The brunet gasped, and the blond use the opportunity to plunge his tongue into his husband's mouth.

"Not - not here," Gale tried to reason.

"Alright. Over there then," Astarion grinned, manhandling his husband behind the animal cages and shoving him against the wood panelling. Gale gasped at the impact and the blond quickly tongue kissed him again. Moaning needily, Gale surrendered, wrapped his arms around Astarion and reciprocated the kiss. The latter grinned victoriously against those soft lips that tasted like cotton candy and cheap face paint. As they parted to breathe, Astarion plucked a tiny piece of flaked-off white makeup from his tongue and flicked it to the side.

"We should stop. We'll get in trouble if someone sees us," Gale tried to reason.

"Exactly. Only if they see us," Astarion countered cheekily, and his husband groaned in defeat.

"Fine, but we must be quick."

"Of course, love."

Astarion dove back in for another kiss while fumbling with the zippers of their shorts and shoving them and their boxer briefs halfway down their asses. With a growl, Astarion could finally take them both in hand and nipped at Gale's lip who moaned lowly in response. Pressed up against the splintering, sun-bleached wood of the animal cages, they traded sloppy kisses, their saliva sticky from the cotton candy, as they were thrusting and humping against each other like horny teens. Wheezing, Gale detached his mouth from Astarion's to gasp: "Close."

Immediately, his husband dropped to his knees and engulfed the brunet's rock-hard length to swallow every last bit of cum. With a lewd slurp, he pulled back, thrusted into his own tight grip three more times before coming onto the dirt between his husband's feet.

"Aaah... fuck..."

With a satisfied sigh, Astarion leaned his forehead against Gale's hipbone. The latter was still panting, his flaccid dick still out in the sweltering heat for the entire world to see. He quickly tucked himself back into his khaki Bermuda shorts. Astarion snickered and looked up at him through heavy, dark lashes.

"What a delicious treat," he purred, grinning. "Thanks for sharing, darling."

Gale couldn't help but blush and chuckle at the absurdity of it all. He handed a tissue to his husband, who quickly cleaned himself off before tossing the soiled paper under the cages. Then, they looked at each other and burst into delighted cackling when they realised the state of their face paints. Due to the heat and their hedonic activity, their sweat had started to leave streaks of white, grey, and black all over their faces and necks. The 'stitches' along Astarion's lips and the red flower on his chin were all smudged, and half of it had transferred onto Gale's face and dick. The latter didn't look any better with the black of his three dimensional nasal cavity and the off-white of the painted on teeth smeared everywhere.

"What a sexy skeleton you are," snickered Astarion and pulled Gale in by the collar for another messy kiss.

"Death looks good on you," Gale jibed before sucking his husband's bottom lip into his mouth, smudging more of the face paint around. As they parted, they were connected by a thick string of cotton candy-flavoured spit.

"I was wrong; we should do this more often," Astarion announced.

"What? Visit a carnival?" asked Gale, mildly confused.

"No, you dork. Painting our faces and fucking in public," retorted his husband, grinning smugly.

Gale couldn't help but laugh at that. He tilted Astarion's head up for another kiss before he took his hand, and they did the walk of shame all the way back to their hotel room. Hair ruffled, face paints ruined.

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