#I dont expect anyone who cherishes their time to read through all of this I just had to get this off my chest before I went crazy

[weekdaysend]

Hello welcome to my 1000+ word review of Epithet Erased: Prison of Plastic where I ramble for an exceedingly long time.

[hearts4werka]

Missing

Summary: it’s been six months since your sister went missing, everyone gave up on the investigation but you’re determined to find her no matter what but someone comes along the way… Genre: ANGST first person pov, Stalker, missing person, thriller, horror, crime investigation, dark aesthetic, stalker romance, double pov, b&e, unexpected visitor, dark themes, Warnings: breaking in, abuse, use of weapons, being held hostage, ?depression?, mental health issues, swearing, pet names (little monster), skin bruising, fighting, ?suggestive content?, traumatizing, possibly trigging subjects, ass content ahead and ofc Read At Your Own Risk!

This is part 4 of the 'Missing' series!

🤍 - Rosalla's POV

I wish she was here with me.

Memories of me and her flood my mind like a tsunami hitting a building, all of the moments I'll cherish for all of my life, with or without her. I've cried over her multiple time since her disappearance and I have to get my shit together and figure out how to report that stalker of mine to the police again, I still cannot believe that my stalker have gone to the point to break into my house and do unspeakle acts between my legs.

My mind keeps on denying the fact that I possibly enjoyed the acts he has done, I havent been able to feel safe in my own house for these past months ever since. Today though the feeling seems to be intensified as I constantly feel a pair of eyes following my every move like everyday but they feel like they're coming closer to me.

I gaze around my surroundings, my mind trying to make me think im not actually going insane and that there is something lurking in the shadows of my own house, before I could get completely dragged into the dark shadows of my mind it has created my cat Willow comes up purring, petting herself on my leg and silently demaning some sustenance in the form of cat food.

A soft chuckle rumbles in my throat at her clear attention seeking attitude, finding it slightly adorable as I rise from my seat and my feet slide over the tile floor under them as I travel into the kitchen. I squat down and take the cat's food bowl into my hand but a simple ring of the front door doorbell catches me off guard as I am not expecting anyone currently nor any packages.

Confusion contours my facial features as my eyes move towards the front door where the noise is coming from, maybe a possible unexpected guest decided to visit my household today? but who could it be? questions begin to rise in my already spiraling mind which only overweighs the other thoughts stuck inside of my head.

I stand up onto my feet and make my way towards the door with upkept caution to not let the person on the other side of the door know that I am trying to figure out who it could be, making as less noise as it is humanly possible in the moment ive been placed in right now, checking through the peephole I dont find what ive expected to be on the other side.

Twisting the house key in the keyhole of the door and grabbing ahold of the doorhandle I swing it open and scan my eyes around the surrounding nature on the front porch and find once again nothing and am only met with my black doormat with "Welcome!" written across it in white bold letters.

My anxiety rises onto a higher level than it was already on before with the growing questions slowly starting to cloud my mind alongside the shadows, I walk back to my living room and notice Willow ran off somewhere and isnt near me anymore, not thinking much about it when I finally find myself back in the living room i notice a strangely familiar man sitting on my couch with his body facing me and Willow snuggled into his lap as he pets her spine with his heavily tattoed arm.

My body instantly responds to the sudden intruder inside of my house by freezing inplace and refusing to move from my standing form, laborthed sharp breaths leave my mouth as I silently observe the surely unexpected guest inside of my house acting way to calm for my liking, not seeming like the hostile type and more on the kinder side which doesn’t make me feel better about this whole situation.

"Look who decided to join us, welcome Rosalla" He speaks in a calm, almost soothing tone while his gaze visibly runs up and down my frozen body as I notice a small smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth under the hood that’s currently concealing the upper half of his face.

As much as I would love to just rip that hood off his face and take Willow away from him I can’t move my body no matter how hard I try, it’s like my body turned into a stone statue in a museum in the section of Ancient Greece but the only thing is that I am in my house currently with what could have the possibility to be my stalker.

“W-who are you and what the fuck are you doing in my house?” I trip over my words as he suddenly rises from his seat and slowly makes steps closer towards me, I continue to stand in place with my mind becoming a bigger scramble and pleading for my body to move or do something rational and not just stand in place like a fucking idiot.

“Oh don’t worry, I’m not here to harm you in any way.” He calmly teased, I already could feel his hot breath hitting my skin and goosebumps growing all over my body. His slender form looms over me as the heavily tattooed arm reaches over and brushes against my chest before roughly grabbing my chin and making me look up at him.

“I’m going to enjoy ruining you, little monster.”

“Fuck you.”

“That as well.”

I roll my eyes at him and finally manage to make my first move, grabbing his hand and digging my nails into his inked skin to leave a mark as I push it away from my chin, freeing my face from his tight grasp and automatically taking a cautious step backwards.

"You're a sick bastard if you think I'll let you anywhere near me." I bite back, now slowly regaining back my confidence and movement capability, now running into the kitchen as he calls out from the hallway. “You’re running already? We haven’t even started the real fun yet.” I notice the slight venom between the ‘innocent’ words which makes a shiver run down my spine.

When he finally catches up to me in the kitchen I quickly open one of the drawers with all of the kitchen knifes residing inside of it and take one of the bigger ones out of it, holding it up for him to see and pointing the sharp tip of it in his direction for any possible protection I could get out of it, he stands infront of me on the other side of the kitchen island.

"Back off, bitch." I state with warning lacing my tone as my confidence rises more and the fear now lowering to a smaller level with a calming shiver washing over my body. The only reaction I manage to gauge out of him is a sinister laugh and his smirk intensifying in growth, as if he wasnt comprehending the fact that a kitchen knife resides in my hand.

"You're gonna try to fight me off with that? how cute." He mocks my choice of protection, as if he has anything on himself. He's helpless right now while the knife stays clutched in my hand, well if you discard the fact he has strong arms and could probably snap me in half with just a flick of his fingers which doesnt help with my already high anxiety level.

Before I get to think and appreciate I have the possible high ground in this situation he quickly makes his way towards me which makes me sprint out of the kitchen and back into the living room with him right on my ass behind me, suddenly as Im running away from him a strong calloused hand slams me into the nearby wall and the pain spreads across the whole upper part of my body, a line of curses leaves my mouth in one painful groan.

“You think you can run from me?” He mocks my attempt on trying to escape his wrath, the hand where the knife resided in is currently pinned against my back. The vice grip he has on my hand makes me drop the knife, it hitting the floor with a loud thud which makes me groan in the increase of the immense pain I already feel all over my body.

“You are mine and only mine, if any other men try to even get close to you. I won’t fucking hesitate to kill them and bury them in your backyard for a little reminder who you belong to.”

I try to wiggle my way out of the trap I’ve been placed in, squirming in pain as I feel multiple bruises growing and starting to adore the surface of my skin, and I was out here thinking I had the high ground in this situation against a man thats clearly way stronger, taller and surely has some tricks up his sleave when I have now none since my item for protection has now ended up on the floor and I cannot move to pick it up because of the position Im in.

Suddenly, I feel cold metal being pressed against the back of my head and the fear rises back inside of me as I realize what is currently being held against my head. My breathing becomes labored as he brings his face closer to my ear, his breath hot against the shell of my ear which sends a shiver running down my spine before whispering. “You look so adorable all scared and terrified.”

“I’m gonna call the police on you and they’ll put you finally where you belong.” I hiss through my gridded teeth, fear being evident in my voice which it seems only fuels him to continue through with his actions, the cold metal barrel sliding down my back and tapping the back of my thighs, asking for them to move apart but with how they’re trembling right now I doubt there are going to move in any moment.

“And you think they’ll believe any word you say about this? You can call them all you want but just know, you’ll never get rid of me, little monster.” A chuckle rumbles in his throat and escaping past his lips at my words, him mocking me once again and assuring me I’ll never be able to get rid of him. It’s already been over five months and I the police haven’t even found one trace of finding out this man’s identity and neither did I, he seems like just an everlasting shadow that’s just stuck in your mind that you can’t get rid of.

We hear the front doorbell ring and realization hits me, I remembered my best friend Nora was supposed to visit today to check in on my sanity and how I’m holding up. She visits me whenever she can borrow the time and she makes it her priority to see me atleast once every few days which I appreciate her for so much and can’t thank god that she decided to come at this rightful time.

Before I can realize it, the man releases me from his grasp and the cold gun is taken away from my body and I feel slight relief as my body slides against the wall and down onto the cold floor of my house as the doorbell rings again and we hear Nora call out my name form behind the door. “Hey Ro, you good in there? I heard fighting inside.”

As soon as the front door cracks opens and Nora steps foot into the house, the man is gone. No trace left behind of him, only me sitting on the floor and clutching my body as if it would fall apart if I let go. Nora immediately runs up to my trembling form and envelops me into her warm arms, her face contoured with confusion as she finally speaks up.

“What the fuck happened here?”

@hearts4werka

authors note: omfg the end is so rushed and I’m so so sorry that y’all needed to wait so long for this but I’ve been focused on some of the other fics and my mind was so empty when I was writing this so some sentences might repeat, I hope the wait was worth it but I kinda doubt it. Luv y’all so much

& love and peace, V

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[atlabeth]

now that the dust has cleared from the chaos for me irl, i want to officially thank you all for 3000 followers!! because wow. where do i even start?

this isn't a milestone i thought i would ever reach. i made this blog during my junior year of high school when i was bored as hell in online school, not knowing what would come of it, and honestly not expecting anyone to read anything i’ve written. i exclusively wrote avatar fics (kind of embarrassing that a series i started at the beginning of my blog still isnt finished huh?) because it was what i had been watching most recently. i started to gain some recognition, made some friends, and slowly but surely i carved out my little corner of the internet. and now, 3 years, 3000 followers, and almost 500,000 words later, i’m going into my junior year of college with some of the best online friends a girl could ask for (shoutout to my day 1 @simplysolo for still being around and still being the best ever, and shoutout to all my other tumblr friends that have deactivated over the years</3 i miss you guys) a whole array of fandoms that i’ve dabbled in, and a newly discovered thing for middle aged men. cool 

i truly cannot thank you all enough. i’ve always been a writer, but this blog has given me a sorely needed creative outlet and made me more confident in my writing skills than ever. at the end of the day i’m just writing silly little x reader fics, but i’ve truly had so much fun doing it! every single fictional man im in love with is also in love with me isn’t that crazy!!!

a special, extended shoutout to the loveliest mutuals i’ve picked up over the years. i wouldn’t be half the writer i am and i wouldn’t have half as much fun on here without you all. @simplysolo for being around since the beginning and truly being the greatest person on this app, i love you intensely, @sokkadora for being another one of my ogs (we dont talk anymore but i see you every so often on my dash and you’re doing great!!) @mcallmestiles for being one of the first avatar fics i ever read, traitor encouraged me to be a better writer and i hope you’re doing well with your medical career!! @tangledinlove for being my most famous mutual, the kindest person in the world, and being brought together through the power of lockwood, @giyuji and @milkiane who are both inactive but who i have to tag because i love them and i hope they’re doing well; naomi you got me into the grishaverse and liane we were in the trenches of the stranger things revival together, @boneblushed for dealing with so much but still being phenomenal and lovely in every way, @tommymcartney for being so sweet all the time, my biggest cheerleader and encouraging my insanity in every fandom ive been a part of, @nghtwngs for being the only person who loses it over nikolai lantsov as much as i do, to all my new/more recent mutuals @hotchfiles @ma1dita @moowithmidnight @emiliehornby @supercutszns i can't wait to get to know or keep getting to know you!!! you're all so lovely!!! and all the mutuals i don’t talk to as much as i should, i love you all and cherish you in my heart regardless of if we talk every day or have never said a single word to each other!! i don’t want to tag you all because i don’t want to bother you, but if you’re looking at this and thinking am i talking about you, i am. i love you. it takes a village and im so lucky to have you all as mine 

i can’t believe it’s been 3 years, i can’t believe i’m halfway done with college, and i can’t believe we hit 3,000. truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for reading my fics and letting me be some small part of your lives. i can’t wait to write more for you all. keep a lookout for my 3k celebration post! 

[thefanficmonster]

Bumpy Road

Corpse Husband x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Depression and Relationship struggles as well as Health Problems

Genre: Mild Angst, Romance, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: On a live podcast discussing his rise to fame and how its affected his personal life, Corpse stumbles over the topic of his romantic relationships, more specifically his relationship with Y/N.

Requested by Anon. Hello dear! Thank you so much for your wonderful request and so sorry you’ve had to wait for it to be posted so long. However, here it finally is and I hope you come across it and read it an if you do I hope you enjoy it! Love, Vy ❤

“Right, ok we’re officially live!“ Exclaims Anthony as he waves to one of the cameras - the one turned to him - and leans closer to the mic placed on the table in front of him. “Hello everyone, thanks for tuning in today. I’m here with the internet sensation and mystery known as Corpse Husband.“ He turns away from the camera to look across the table at his guest, “Corpse, I hope you know how much effort is being put into editing that sticker over your face for the duration of this whole podcast.“

Corpse, whose face is hidden by a sticker of his avatar, chuckles, “So you’re insinuating that I should probably not move so much.”

“Exactly.“ Anthony laughs, “My guy would be very grateful for that curtesy. Yeah, I have an actual person who I assigned to move around the sticker so there goes an extra paycheck.“

“In that case I promise to give you worthy content. A lot of never previously heard scoop.“ Corpse says, mocking the very words he uses, laughing about them afterwards, “Ask away, man.“

Anthony briefly looks down at a printed sheet of paper before pushing it to the side with a slight furrow of his brows, “You know, these are all cookie-cutter questions you’ve probably been asked many times before. So, I think it’s for the best I ask you something no one has had you talk about. Or something I hope no one has had you talk about yet. If you feel uncomfortable with any question just say so and we’ll skip it right away.“

The sticker moves up and down to mask Corpse’s face as he nods, “Got it.”

“Ok um...“ Anthony falls in thought for a moment, thinking of a question, “The first thing off the top of my head, um, what part of the dark side of fame have you had the displeasure of experiencing?“

Corpse lets out a laugh dangerously close to a scoff, “Almost all if not totally all of it really. There’s such a big chunk of privacy being taken away from you on social media. I got to that point where I felt so naked and seen I felt I was losing myself as my fandom grew. I know it’s many YouTubers’ dream to blow up and have a ton of fans and followers but I never wanted that. Don’t get me wrong, I love each and every one of my fans, I just never expected to accumulate so many of them. I’m such a private person, it was so anxiety inducing in the beginning but I sort of learned how to cope with it, you know? Sometimes, in order to stop people from reaching into my real privacy, I created a fake one that I’d feed into and let them enjoy.”

Anthony’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise, “Wow, how do we know what’s real about you anymore, huh?” It was said more as a joke but he truly meant it. If a person can fake a whole reality for people not to touch into their real one, Lord knows what else they can do.

Corpse huffs, “I’ll give you a hint: If it seems pretty, pink, peach and perfect it’s fake.“ The sticker may be hiding his face from the viewers but it’s most definitely not doing anything to shield the change in expression that occurs on his face from Anthony who’s sitting right across from him and notices the shift right away but before he could question it, Corpse prods on, “Y/N, my partner, can tell you just as much. They know better than anyone what’s the difference between what people know and what the reality is. They know that our relationship isn’t the sunny skies we put on display for our fans. I have my mental and physical health issues, my trust issues and paranoia play a big role in the ‘rains’ in our day-to-day life but they understand it’s all a part of me and a part I can’t control. It actually controls me sometimes and it’s so fucking annoying. But they understand. And while we pretend it’s perfect even though it isn’t, we find our happiness wherever and whenever we can. When it rains so often, you might as well look for a little hint of sunlight. That sunlight can create a rainbow after all. Believe me when I say, that rainbow is the most beautiful thing, makes you forget about the storm that just took place or might even be still raging all around.“ He sighs, preparing to bring his outpour of honesty to a close, “It may be a bumpy road 98% of the time even though on social media we pretend it’s the complete opposite, but that 2% of honest happiness we get from the tiniest of things are more meaningful than I could describe to you with words.“

And he’s more than right, words are often not enough. But the ones he used to describe what he just did were perfectly enough to bring one particular viewer to tears. That particular viewer who knows exactly what he was talking about. Because they are his other half and they’re going through it the same as he is. They’ve gone down that bumpy road side by side with him, ignoring the pain and turmoil while focusing their gaze on the rainbow above. That analogy was theirs from the very start after all. They both knew Y/N is the better one at finding the deeper meaning in everything even when there was nothing to be found.

They always found something. And Corpse will always cherish that trait as one of their best - always finding something to keep them both afloat.

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[un2-verse]

BILLY — Kim Taehyung (3)

Synopsis: News of a Sadistic Serial Killer nicknamed “Jigsaw” is spreading around town like wildfire… the nickname stemming from the puzzle piece he cuts from every victim’s body. No one knows who he’ll trap next but in a town full of delinquents and criminals, it could never be you. Right?

Pairing: yandere!Taehyung x f!reader

genre: angst, horror, weirdly some fluff lol

Warnings: dark themes, yandere, stalking, manipulation, conditioning, mentions of abuse, suicidal ideations/attempts, self harm, murder, depictions of torture etc (basically its gorey and fucked up), angel trap, etc stabbing and guns. do not read if triggered!!!!

wordcount: 2.2k

taglist: @yes-sol-not-soul @yoongiofmine

a/n: pt 3 is here!! honestly i wasnt expecting this amount of support as i’ve never published my writing before so thank u sm ♡ i was inspired to write this one night and i had no idea where it’d go or anything but i’m happy with the way its turning out :D fun fact abt me, i’ve been obsessed w the franchise since i was little and i actually have 2 saw tattoos, one of billy and one above saying “cherish your life” since that’s pretty much the motto of saw :) and i have quite the collection of saw/billy items so why not turn my fav horror film into a fucked up love story! let me know if u would like to be added to the taglist and pls enjoy reading^^ feel free to send me asks abt the series or anything u want~ i love hearing from u guys!! :D ps— taehyung and the reader dont have much interaction in this part,, theyll definitely be more of them together in part 4 :) unedited so pls excuse any mistakes!! tysm <33 and remember these are fictional characters and do not represent bts personally in any way!!

series masterlist

part one part two

The headlines constantly named the Jigsaw Killer, Billy. The somewhat eerie little doll that had a face as white as a Calla Lily with spirals on it’s cheeks as red as the blood that was shed during the tests. Billy was always dressed in a little black suit with a red bowtie and he was (most of the time) situated on a squeaky battered tricycle. Attached was always a tape that read “play me” and when the subjects did, a chilling voice— one that could make even the world's worst predators shiver with terror— would echo around the room.

Everyone knew that a doll clearly wasn’t responsible, yet they gave it the name Billy in hopes to somewhat humanise the face that instilled panic— they did not want to live in fear.

It was the only face behind the killings.

But this time, there was a different subject stuck in the test and Billy had made sure there was no way for them to survive.

“How are you scared of heights? You’re practically a giant yourself!”

“Just because I’m tall doesn’t mean I can’t be scared of heights Y/Nie.”

You had no idea how long had passed since Taehyung had turned up at the garage, you were too busy chatting away squeezed into the kitchen while your Dad, Yoongi and Hobi worked on the cars in the shop. If anyone could hear you both, they would think you’d known eachother since childhood— the playful jokes and light touches exaggerated that.

You’d only known him for a few hours really, if you added the time spent with him on the first day and now. It hadn’t seemed like all those weeks ago that you first met, he had a familiar presence, as though you had known him for years compared to the hours.

“I just wouldn’t imagine you to be scared of anything Taehyung… you seem so confident and fearless.”

You saw the way Taehyung looked at you. His eyes flashed with understanding.

“I did have my fears back then, much like yours.”

“What do you mean?” you had a rough idea on what he meant but you needed him to voice it.

A deep inhale and the words flowed from his lips before he could stop it, “The fear of living. I had been through some stuff you know, growing up. My mum was working a lot and my dad was an alcoholic, he was so fucking possessive and wouldn’t let her go anywhere without kicking off. It was a fucking shitshow and so toxic. This one time though, I’d pretended that I’d gone to school and waited outside the front door. It didn’t take long before I heard shit getting smashed and my dad shouting.” Taehyung was telling the truth only, he left out the part where he was also as possessive, if not more, than his father. Well, let's say… obsessive. “I just ran in the house and saw my dad towering over my mum and I don’t remember what happened but, I do remember my mum crying and my dad disappeared.”

Now Taehyung was lying through his teeth. He remembered clearly, almost like it was yesterday. He smashed the nearest bottle, pulled his mother away from the monster that scared her and stabbed him. Not just once, not twice but thirty-seven times. Hence the thirty seven tattoo on the palm of his right hand (the one he’d actually killed his father with). There was only Taehyung who knew what it meant, he counted every single time the broken glass pierced his father’s body, he counted with a smile on his face and a chuckle in his throat.

You were at a loss for words. Your mouth gaped in shock, eyes wide and your brain scrambled for the right thing to say. You reached over and grabbed his hand, interlacing your fingers. His thumb running back and forth along your hand. “I’m sorry, I can’t imagine what that must’ve been like.” There was no way you could relate, your mother and father were happy and in love. They had the ideal relationship, one you wished for yourself. You could empathise though.

“You don’t need to be sorry baby, it’s in the past and I’ve moved on from it. I was like you though, poisoned by the roots that keep you on the ground even though you wanted nothing more than to break free and be no longer.” A silence fell over you both before Taehyung uttered, “I wasn’t successful with my attempt so now I’m here to help you.”

Warmth spread throughout your body, a smile graced your features as you no longer felt alone.

You had a completely different idea to what those words actually meant.

It was nearing the evening when Taehyung’s car had been fixed. Yoongi popped his head in the kitchen to tell him but stopped himself so as to not interrupt the scene before him. You were laughing along to whatever Taehyung was babbling about with your hand resting on his bicep, with that look in your eyes that he hadn’t seen for years. Yoongi felt himself smile as he saw you hanging onto Taehyung's every word.

For the first time in forever, you looked alive.

Yoongi cleared his throat which drew yours and Taehyung’s attention, “Sorry to interrupt guys. We’ve finished with your car so whenever you’re ready we’ll be outside.” The infamous gummy smile overtook his features, you felt yourself beam in return.

“Thanks man! I’ll be like, five minutes.”

Yoongi nodded his head in reply and swiftly left the room.

You’d taken Tae’s hand into yours, playing with the array of rings that occupied his fingers. Solemn thoughts overtook, am I not gonna see him again? Was this, whatever this is, over before it had even begun? Your eyes stayed on his hand as you turned it over and traced your finger over the inked ‘thirty seven’ on his palm. “What does this mean?”

Taehyung didn’t think twice before he practically beamed out, “It’s my lucky number.”

The difference was, it wasn’t really his lucky number… although he did see it that way. It was the number that had stayed with him. It was something he was proud of, whenever he looked at the hand that killed his father, his chest filled with pride and a joyous feeling overtook his senses. It was his first murder. Something he relished in and thus, created the onslaught of Jigsaw killings. He targeted a certain type— those whose sins would lock them up forever if they were ever found out. Racists, murderers, rapists, drug dealers, con-men. Authoritative figures who abused their power. He even went as far as subjecting suicidal people.

You see, things aren’t sequential. Good doesn’t lead to good, nor bad to bad. People who steal, don’t get caught, they live the good life. Others lie, cheat and get elected.

Some people would call it karma but Taehyung, he called it justice.

He’d started this with one thing on his mind— those that don’t appreciate life do not deserve it.

Whenever a serial killer was on the loose, the press did what they always did. They gave them a nickname. While the public had named the doll Billy. The actual killer was named ‘Jigsaw’.

This stemmed from the jigsaw piece that was cut from the victims skin, no one knew why he was doing it or what it even stood for.

It did have a meaning although unknown to the public.

The jigsaw piece that was cut from the subjects was only ever meant to be a symbol that that subject was missing something. A vital piece of the human puzzle. The survival instinct.

After all, until a person is faced with death, it’s impossible to tell whether they have what it takes to survive.

Across town an underground abandoned warehouse, was where the next subject had found themselves.

They were suspended in the air, their feet merely dangling above the ground. The putrid smell of death lingered in every crevice, the sound of rats scurrying along the concrete floor filled their ears just as they began to stir awake.

A pain in their ribs was the overwhelming factor to them finally coming around. When they groggily opened their eyes, they were paralised with fear due to the scene in front of them.

A doll sat a few feet ahead, perched upon a tricycle. Adorned with a black suit and a red bowtie. A slow red light flashed in his eyes.

Billy.

Before the subject could even register how, when or why they found themselves trapped in a test, footsteps echoed behind them. The subject called out, “Help! Please, somebody help! I shouldn’t be here!”

A tsk reached their ears, as a disembodied voice replied, “Trust me, no one can hear you. Scream all you like. You’d just be wasting your breath, you may as well cherish it before it's gone.”

With hairs stood on end, the subject stilled. “What do you want from me?”

“I don’t want anything from you.” The man's footsteps grew louder. “I’m here to serve justice, that’s all.”

The man rounded the subject, settling in their view with only his cloaked back visible while he tended to the little doll. He touched Billy delicately—like he was a little child that he loved dearly. He combed his gloved hand through the doll's black hair and eventually pulled his fingers from the tresses to pat his head gently.

“You fucking psycho! Let me go!”

He couldn’t help but laugh at that which only infuriated the subject more causing them to shake in anger, a movement they soon ceased when they realised something was penetrating their ribs.

“I’d be very careful if I was you, we wouldn’t want you hurting yourself now… would we?” The cloaked figure spun around. An angry glint to his eye.

“What the fuck, you’re fucking crazy. Let me out, this isn’t right!” The subject tried their hardest to swing their legs, to somehow kick the man who’d imprisoned them.

“I think you’ll find it is right. You’re unworthy of the body you possess.” He inched closer, “see, when someone purposely intends to harm others, they lose their right to life.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

The man arched a brow as he replied, “Don’t play dumb. You know exactly what I’m talking about.” He felt like it was a game of cat and mouse except, he was a tiger and his subject, was the tiniest prey to mankind. “But, let me remind you! Since you can’t get your thick fucking head to work. You’re a liar, a cheater and an abuser. That ring any bells?”

The subject's face dropped.

“Ah, I see by your expression you know exactly what I’m talking about! Glad to see we’re on the same page.” He shrugged his cloak off placing it to the side of the doll. “I want to play a game.”

“What game? This isn’t a fucking game! You’re sick in the head you fucking cunt!”

The atmosphere shifted, the man remained calm while the subject went ballistic.

“What is this? What fucking game?”

“You feel the machine that’s currently occupying your ribs? Well, in about ten minutes that’s going to rip you apart. I’m proud to say that trap is my baby. I’ve been working on it especially for you! How nice is that?” he reached out to tug at the subject’s legs, tormenting them like a cat would a mouse. “Anyway, as my beautiful angel trap will rip you apart, my darling little friend Billy over here,” the subject followed the direction the man's hand pointed, “is going to match your face with the ugliness of your soul.”

“Fuck, fuck this! How do I stop it? Tell me how I fucking stop it!”

A boxy grin overtook the man's face, laughter poured from his mouth as he leaned over and slapped the subject’s leg. “This is a special game.”

“Who are you? What do you mean by ‘special game’?”

He raised himself so he stood tall and grabbed a knife from his pocket, “I’m the man you call Jigsaw.” He traced the tip of the knife along the subject’s ankle, “and when I say a special game… I mean you can’t get out.” While the subject was screaming in realisation, Taehyung walked back for his cloak, hung it over his shoulder and stalked off back the way he came. He sent one last smile to the subject as he rounded them and within the blink of an eye, he gripped the knife and slashed the subject’s achilles.

A chilling scream pierced the eerie atmosphere, the subject couldn’t string words together. Abundances of anxiety, terror and pure panic took reign of their body. Taehyung grabbed the injured muscles and forced his gloved fingers in as he gripped and twisted them, “That’s for Y/N.”

Taehyung had pressed the timer before he cut the subject’s tendons. He grabbed the tape from his pocket and threw it on the ground and with a chuckle he shouted, “Game over!”

Before he reached the end of the hallway, he heard the gunshots pierce his subjects face followed by the sound of the angel trap, even this far away Taehyung heard every crack of the ribs and the noise of the body being tore apart.

Without looking back, Taehyung rounded the corner and slammed the door shut.

He’d chosen the Angel trap for the irony, the subject that was currently hanging from the ceiling was no angel. They were a fucked up, evil, waste of space. Taehyung had done the world a favour, he’d done you a favour.

That got him thinking, how much blood would you shed in order to stay alive?

[a/n: who do we think was in the trap???👀]

[aphrodite-would-be-proud]

I dont know if your accepting requests right now, but I love your kiddo headcannons. Could you do the Kiddo's reacting to Reiner asking you to marry him? I just really want to know who's going to get excited for the wedding, if any of the kids are going to be upset...your headcannons are just the best!!

Hey! Yes my requests are open, it's written in my bio tho i get it might be confusing. Imma make sure to also write it on the navigation post.

And by the name of persephone this the cutest most wholesome kiddo scenario! How did i not think of that? Just what realm of heaven are you living on Anon? Whatever it is thank you for blessing us with this thought💛

You're with Reiner, he wants to propose but his cousins overhear him.

{ Reiner x reader | tw:marriage tw:proposing tw:parental-neglect tw:heavy-angst | cartoony?, fluff, angst with comfort | modern }

{ The Lanterns, circa 1910 by Charles Courtney Curran 1861-1942 }

"And no opening the door to anyone no matter how sorry you feel for them, okay?" Colt said while adjusting the tie around his neck, making sure it's even as he takes one final look at himself in the mirror before putting on his coat.

"Okay" Falco replied, watching as his brother was getting frustrated with the too many buttons on his coat. "Do you need help?"

Nodding his head, Colt let Falco do his buttons while he reached for the cup of coffee he left on the table, quickly finishing it all. "And make sure to get to bed on time, no staying up reading comic books, you have school tomorrow."

"Don't worry I won't" Falco looked in concern at the empty coffee cup, "isn't this your third one today? I don't think you should be drinking this much..."

"You worry too much Falco, just take care of yourself okay?" Colt rubbed his brother's hair, before patting his head. "I'll text you to check on how you're doing so make sure to charge your phone."

And just like that, Colt wrapped a scarf around his neck, grabbed his keys, and left through the door. Leaving Falco standing there at the entrance, alone in the house.

Looking around the quiet room, Falco picked up the empty cup before washing it in the sink. Just as he was putting it away, the door bell rang.

'Did he forget something?' He thought, wondering if it's his the keys again. But looking at the table, he could see nothing was there.

Wait...Colt did take his keys before leaving, why would he be ringing the doorbell.

The ringing got more frequent, followed by aggressive knocking. Falco took a step back into the kitchen, thinking if he could dash upstairs to get his phone in time.

But he didn't want to trouble his brother...Think Falco think! What would captain america do in this scenario? But Reiner always told him he should think for himself...

And so he grabbed a knife, slowly inching towards the door but then he heard it, that fimilar sound.

"Falco? You in there? It's freezing open the door!"

"Gabi?!" Dropping the knife, Falco rushed to the door. Quickly unlocking it as a very cold looking Gabi stepped inside.

"What took you so long? I can't feel my fingers!" Rubbing her hands together to attempt to warm them up, Gabi glared at Falco.

"Sorry I thought you were a-" he looked away at the knife "uh..anyway let me get you a blanket" before he could rush up the stairs, Gabi pulled him back.

"No there's no time! We have to leave now." Holding his hand, Gabi dragged a very confused Falco out the door and they began making their way to the next destination.

-

Soon enough, the pair found themselves standing outside Udo's house, directly under his window.

"You still haven't told me why we're here." Falco watched as Gabi was looking for something on the ground, he stiffened when she smiled after picking up a small rock.

"I will tell you once Udo and Zofia are here, it's very important." She handed him the rock. "Now let's focus on getting Udo here, make sure to aim for his window because his mom is a really light sleeper."

"Wait if that's the case then why didn't we go to Zofia's house first? She lives right opposite of mine!" Falco whisper-shouted.

"Because! Neither of us can deal with a sleeping Zofia and you know that, only Udo knows how to wake her up." Gabi explained, crossing her arms while getting impatient. "So hurry up and throw the rock!"

Flaco looked at Udo's window, then at the rock. He looked at Gabi one last time before closing his eyes and throwing it, it made a sound as it hit the window....nothing happened

"Why am I the one throwing the rocks?" He looked anxiously at Udo's dark window, moving his weight from one leg to the other.

"I'm stronger. If i throw it, I'll break the window." Gabi was looking for another rock, having found one slightly bigger than the last. "Here try this one"

-

Having reunited again, the four of them were walking down the street to Reiner's house late at night. Gabi leading the group, Falco following her reluctantly, Udo keeping a still sleepy Zofia from walking into a wall while in her pajamas.

"This better be good Gabi, otherwise you can forget about copying my math homework for a month." The thought of just turning around and going back home to bed was still in the back of Zofia's mind.

Having almost reached Reiner's house, the four of them could see multiple cars parked outside of it, some of them they recognise.

"See! I told you all it'd be worth it. They're having a secret party without us! I heard Reiner talking about it on the phone with Zeke this morning when I was pretending to be asleep so I don't have to walk home." Gabi said as they sneaked to the side of the house.

"That's mister Zeke's car, miss Annie's and...even Porco's too.." Udo said as they climbed the house fence.

"They invited Porco but not us?" With that information, Zofia was fully awake.

"That's exactly what I've been telling you guys about! Here look!" Standing on her toes, Gabi looked through the window, between the curtains. Three heads joining her soon.

Looking inside, they could see the living room they were so fimilar with, looking really different. For once it wasn't a mess of pillows and candy wrappers! It was actually clean with various candles adding to the atmosphere.

Zeke and Pieck could be seen siting next to each other on the couch, drinking some wine while Colt is in the arm chair next to them with Porco pushing a drink in his hands.

Annie and Bertolt are leaning against the wall, she's holding a plate of donuts while he's talking about something.

Finally, you and Reiner are sitting on the couch opposite to Zeke and Pieck. His hand is around your shoulder and he keeps taking glances behind him at bertolt, while Zeke stares at him from the front.

If you focus, you can hear the muffled sound of music playing in the background.

The four kids watched as Reiner whispered something in your ear, before you noded, got up and headed towards the kitchen. The second you left, all of them crowded at the couch next to Reiner, Talking in hushed tones.

"What...are they doing?" Udo watched as Reiner took out a small red box from his pocket, hands shaking while the people around him leaned in to see what's inside as he opened it.

Quiet gasps and awws followed after as the ring inside came into view, glittering in the dark by the candlelight. Although that only seemed to fluster Reiner even more.

The four of them looked at each other with wide eyes, then back at the ring as Reiner reached out to hold it delicately in his hand for a few seconds as if he's offering it up to the air in front of him, the room got quiet, everyone holding their breaths.

"Oh " Falco said, "i...think i know what's going on." Both Udo and Zofia noded.

"What?" Gabi knitted her eyebrows, tilting her head, "what's going on?"

Before any of them could answer, Zofia told them to keep quiet when she noticed you walking back in the room, the ring back in the box inside Reiner's pocket.

Everyone was now standing, smiles on their faces, even Annie showing one of her rare ones. You were holding a new plate of donuts when you noticed them, with Reiner in the middle, nervous eyes staring right at yours.

Stepping towards you, Annie took the plate before going back to her spot. A few chuckles from Zeke, Bertolt and Pieck followed while Reiner shock his head.

Still outside, the kids saw Reiner start talking about something. Whatever it is, it must have been emotional because everyone in the room was listening with anticipation.

"I can't hear anything" unlocking the window, Gabi opened it just slighly. The muffled sound of music becoming clear as Reiner was finishing his speech.

"And you'd make me the happiest man in the world" he got on one knee, hand taking something out of his pocket. "If we could spend the rest of our lives together and I'll cherish every single moment you're by my side."

He opened the red box, holding the ring in front of you, eyes pleading. "Will you please marry me?"

The second you said yes, Reiner pulled you in the tightest most loving hug in your life, muttering "thank you"s under his breath. You could taste saltiness of his tears when he kissed your lips, still not letting go.

"He's crying" Udo said, feeling his own glasses getting a bit blurred.

"They're kissing." Falco's face was as red as a tomato, covering his blushing face with his hand but looking through his fingers.

"Annie finished all the donuts" was Zofia's comment with a pout.

Gabi's hold on the window got tighter, her lips quivering. "We have to stop them. They can't get married!" And like that, she slammed the window open before climbing inside.

"Gabi! Wait!" Falco tried grabbing her sleeve but was too slow, so he climbed after her into the room.

As expected from two children suddenly breaking in the room through the window, everyone's eyes were on them with surprised expressions.

Looking straight at Reiner, Gabi pulled you away from him before snatching the ring box from his hand. "NO! no one is marrying anyone" with all her might, she threw the box to Falco before telling him to run away.

Having been dragged into the middle of this, Falco looked at Colt's concerned expression, Reiner's confused face and Pieck's amused one. Stepping near Colt, he was about to give him the ring when he saw Gabi's face, making his stop midway.

"Run Falco! Just go!" She yelled, tears streaming down her face, legs shaking. "They can't leave us! Not like our parents did..."

Falco felt his chest tightening, recalling how empty the house feels with just him and Colt being away for work most of the time. How cold it is, unlike the warmth he feels whenever they stay over at your house.

He began tearing up too, holding the box so tightly to his chest.

It was Reiner who made the first move, while everyone was stunned looking at the two crying children. Pulling the both of them to his chest as they sobbed, he wrapped his arm safely around them. He looked at you and you followed in his steps.

-

After some time and explaining, Colt was comforting Falco while on the couch with Pieck doing the same on his other side. You had Zofia on your lap while she ate some Donuts you stashed away from Annie. Gabi was still clutching to Reiner with Udo on his other side doing the same.

Gabi would take a bite out of a donut, cry a bit then take another bite. Sometimes glancing at the red box on the table.

With time, reassuring words and Zeke making the kids laugh, things slowly got better. Reiner and you completely reassured them that you're never leaving, you love them more than anything in this world. That getting marriage is going to get you even more closer together than anything.

Hearing those words calmed Gabi down, each of them made you make a pinky promise to not replace them ever, same thing to Reiner.

That's when Bertolt brought up the fact you still haven't worn the ring, and it might make them feel better if they were the one to place it on your hand. And that seemed to grab their attention as they began arguing between themselves which one of them should do the honour.

{ The Lanterns, circa 1910 by Charles Courtney Curran 1861-1942 }

Headcanons

Strap in because boi are we in for a ride. These kids went through a lot even in a modern non-war world

They all have an altered negative view on marriage, especially Gabi and Falco.

Both of Falco's parents are deceased, he lives alone with Colt who's trying his hardest to work and take care of both of them, of course Zeke and Pieck help a lot too and try to be his stand in parents.

He knows about love and how good it is, he just thinks marriage would mean you and Reiner might also go away.

Gabi's parents are alive and well, they're just rarely in her life. She's an alone child with no siblings, so far Reiner has been her only relative that she counts as family.

Her parents often leave her at her aunt's house whenever they go on a trip away, or as she started getting older, alone in the house. It gave her a lot of freedom but also a misguided and neglectful life.

Reiner has been trying to fill both roles of her parents for her, and when you came along it was like a dream coming true, she suddenly has someone who truly cares for her being and loves her unconditionally.

So when she heard you were getting married, something in her snapped and fears about you both leaving her too just like her parents clouded her mind.

Udo and Zofia both have their moms only, they bond over it. In Udo's case it was after his father passed away in an accident that his mother became really overprotective and Borderline overbearing.

She's worried about everything, he feels like it's his fault somehow and can't help but copy her anxiety and paranoia.

When he heard about you getting married, he felt a sting of pain and guilt, like he's getting in the way and it never was his real family to begin with.

Zofia's mom is another case, her dad left them when she was younger without a word. Her mother lost trust in anyone after that and was emotionally unavailable.

She saw how hurt her mother was over her dad, she wanted to be strong for her mom and never have to depend on anyone.

So when she heard you were getting married, a sense of dread filled her at realising one of you will hurt the other somehow and she will have to be strong on her own again.

The four of them looked up to you both, were loved and cherished by you both like they've longed for so long.

They fear losing you, they fear losing the warmth, love and care you showed them.

So take it slow with them please, they've been hurt a lot. They don't mean to be ungrateful or rude they're just kids who are terrfied.

Be paitent and slowly introduce them to marriage in a new light, let them grief over their own parents in a healthy way while comforting them. Make them feel included in the planning and wedding and everything and I promise you they'll be fighting for the flower girl spot at the wedding if you just take it slow and gentle.

Yes even Falco and Udo want to be the flower girl.

[toukatan]

i was listing all my favorite panels on the final chapter but i realized i listed almost every pages of it 🥺 no wonder this final chapter will be turned into postcards they are all beautiful 🥺 personally these are my favorites

i still haven't collected all my thoughts and i don't think i will ever be agdjdks all i feel since yesterday is just pure gratefulness. i'm just so incredibly happy that i got to witness this series unfold, grateful for all the people i came to be friends with along the way, lucky to be able to meet amazing bloggers, writers, content creators, fanfic writers and fanartists, and most of all, i'm entirely grateful because this series gave me opportunities to discover and ignite my love again in doing artworks, illustrations and contents to which i have already forgotten for years. it gave me a little confidence that i could be / could give something (it wasn't much i know xD but still, knowing me, i thought i'll never be able to create something) *pats my back*

i'm so happy that i really have enjoyed my stay here in the fandom because of you beni and to all the few people i became really friends with (you girls know who you are) and i love you all and cherish all the moments and crackheads stuffs we did. i remember that this roasting happened was because the angst is too much for us and that's why we have all come to an agreement to roast eren and everyone in the series. love that this community has been very helpful to me when i feel lonely and you all really did put a smile in my face. the way, we're all chaotic during chapter 123 and 138, we're all losing our minds(!) but my favorite moment will always be during 138 on how we're all betraying beni left and right front and back top to bottom 😂 it was definitely the most chaotic month we've ever been and i'm so moved on how respectful we are to each other and just chill here and vibe and just appreciate everything in the manga. it has been a joyous journey and i'll never forget this amazing experience with you all!

most of all, i thank isayama-sensei because if it wasn't for him, i wouldn't be able to meet all of you! 😊💛 i cherish and adore you all! cheers to another end of an era and cheers to a new beginning! *coughs jjk roast era, i will join you soon when i catch up*

ayna it took me a whole ass week to reply to you because i didn’t wanna get all emotional again right after the chapter that i ran away to work and read other things in order to keep my mind off it please forgive me i could not handle the pain of messages like these, i was feeling too much. but now with a week gone i can collectively reply now!

but no for real, almost every single panel within chapter 139 is stunning. like if yams doesn’t consider making merch outta these i don’t know what to think!

everything you said in that paragraph i absolutely agree too— through the journey of snk we were all able to meet such amazing people no matter what it was we had to gush about. from writers, to artists, to graphic makers, to meta writers, to bloggers, to simply just enjoying the little things about snk we all found each other and that alone is a blessing. i’m so glad you found your love for art again ayna, like thank freaking god you came off anonie just so i could yell at you for being talented, stunning, never been seen before and everything in between. you’re amazing artist and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. i’m so glad snk was able to be your little paradise away from irl things— an escape with something you love with people joining you along the way adoring the same series with you.

honestly— i have no idea where the heck i would’ve been without you guys. no you don’t understand y’all really made my days and nights on end, any time i felt a little lost or out of it, you guys pulled me right back and outta there, i couldn’t be more thankful for every individual i’ve met on here. haha i remember it so well, everyone was being too angsty and we collectively decided no this ain’t it and started roasting every single little thing not matter what the heck it was. eren’s ass to his forehead please this was the peak of our culture ahdjwgjdbs oh my god not the 138 top ten anime betrayals. the way y’all went IM SO SORRY BENI AND I WAS LIKE DONT SAY SORRY THIS ON YOUE FJAGXHBWBS AND THEN WE STARTED GRILLING EACH OTHER INSTEAD HONESTLY WHAT THE HECK WERE WE DOING SHHDJSJDN i’ll cherish those days forever and more. the best days of my life— 🥺💗

i’m glad this safe space was able to make your days and you were able to meet new people. it makes me happy knowing you guys all respect one another and feel safe discussing anything and everything here. i loved seeing everyone get along from roasting to supporting each other with real life things. i honestly couldn’t have asked for more with my snk journey and im glad i was able to start it with you guys and end it with y’all. if i could do it all over again— i would in a heartbeat.

yes i will thank isayama here because without the man himself working so hard these past 11/12 years i wouldn’t have been able to meet y’all! yams you get that sauna and expect us to cry in there sir you did that and did it flawlessly. but no reals yams better get that sauna. i don’t accept no for an answer. cheers to snk and the journey we’ve had— i can’t wait for what’s next! AJKDBSJSNS JJK ROAST ERA? I THINK YES?

but no seriously. thank you for being apart of my snk journey— i love and adore every single one of y’all and couldn’t have asked for more. im honestly so glad i found you 🥺💗

[jaminjims]

found family {imagine}

@catsandstrawberries​ requests: Hi I have a request. Can you do an ot7 x youngest female 8th member reader maybe late teens (like 17 18ish) maybe fathers day is coming up and reader never had a good relationship with her father or any male in her life (abuse, abondment, trauma, etc) and maybe just a bunch of fluffy and angsty scenarios of her relationship with the boys when they become more like older brothers/father figures to her. Maybe one where she choreographs a dance and shows Hobi and he openly stares how proud Cont. 🐣

He is of her and maybe it just really touches her. Or maybe one where she falls asleep on the couch and one of the boys brings her to her room. And maybe a final angsty one where she tells them how much she loves them and how hard it is to know her own family didnt care about her but the b o us are like, you're wrong, your family does care about you, were your family. Something like that. I really love your writing and hopefully you can write this, if not dont worry, much love! 🐣

a/n: ahh this was the fic i wrote 4.3k words for but then decided i didn’t like it so i started over lmao. i don’t really know why this fic was kinda difficult for me to write but it was still something i enjoyed writing a lot and i’m proud of myself for finishing it! and this is probably one of my favorites that i’ve written if i’m being completely honest. the found family troupe is what i LIVE for and this one literally melts my heart. and of course thank you so so much to the lovely catsandstrawberries for the request! i really enjoyed writing it so i hope you enjoy reading it! 

pairing: platonic ot7 x f!reader (reader will refer to the older members as hyung though!)

genre: angsty in the beginning but it turns really fluffy so just hang in there! 

warnings: brief mention of child abandonment, child neglect, bad father daughter relationship, loneliness, insomnia, forgetting to eat 

words: 6k

[disclaimer: when writing idol aus, i will only be focusing on the struggles of the reader, not of the idols themselves because i don’t personally know what struggles they go through and how they handle them.] 

{song(s) i recommend while reading: someone’s someone - monsta x}

~**~

here’s the thing about family: it’s sometimes fickle and sometimes strong

you came from a prestigious family of bankers, except you wouldn’t really call it a family 

it was more like relatives tolerating each other more than anything 

your mom had left when you were young so you only had faint silhouettes and hollow laughter to remember her by. but that just left the two of you 

you and your father 

instead the memories you grew up with were of a dad who was cold and controlling and never really around long enough for you to truly feel like he loved you 

it was always “y/n you have to look good for the family” “y/n you have to do this for the families reputation” “y/n you have to smile for the media so they think we are a happy family” 

the word family was thrown around so much you didn’t think you really knew what it meant anymore

because it was always “y/n you need to do better” “y/n why are you so flawed?” y/n you’re more of a disappointment that a daughter”

never “y/n, i’m proud of you” 

it was always what he wanted and never had he asked what you wanted

he never once helped you with your homework, never once had a family meal together

never once said he loved you 

you had to instead learn to cook yourself, learn to swim, learn to ride your bike, all by yourself 

all things a father should have done, he never did 

instead it was all fake laughter and smiles in front of the media and cold stares and loneliness behind closed doors 

you used to cry yourself to sleep because of how lonely and lost you felt but now you just opted to barely sleeping at all 

and you often forgot to eat because it would just remind you what you could’ve had but didn’t 

you also tended to be alone at school because everyone knew of you but no one really knew you 

the only thing that really saved you was dancing

it was the only way you could really express yourself without needing words and you found that comforting 

it was intimate and deep and it was your raw soul being transmitted through movements 

and it was your only reprieve from the fake media, the fake smiles, the fake laughter 

and the fake family 

so most of your days were spent in a dance studio, choreographing your own pieces and dancing your heart out and it was really the only way you knew how to express yourself

it was when you were fifteen when you had discovered that music companies were hosting auditions and you wanted more than anything to be up on a stage and preform

you had never longed for something more than you did now

but you knew your father would never allow it and maybe that was the thought that pushed you to make the decision of joining

because you knew if you continued to live the way you did now, you would never be enough for him and you were sad and lonely and just tired of faking everything

so if you were always going to be a failure to him then at least you could have fun along the way, right?

so you auditioned to every single company you could and in the end it was only one who had accepted you and for the first time you were really happy

so, so happy that you danced all the way home and cried and for once didn’t pay mind to the eyes looking in

your dad was of course furious when he found out and it hurt that he was so against your dream 

but the elation you felt at finally doing something for yourself, with no other reason but because you wanted too, it was something thrilling and if you had known that freedom would feel like this then you would’ve done it a long time ago 

but it still stung when he cut you out of his life completely, like you weren’t even there in the first place. like you never existed

cut off all means of financial support. insurance, healthcare, even schooling

all because you didn’t want to be what he wanted you to be

and you cried for the first few nights because this was your conformation. conformation that he really didn’t love you and only saw you as a means to continue his legacy 

but you continued on. confidently packing your bags and leaving that place that was never really a home to you 

and when you moved into the dorms bighit had for trainee’s, you felt like this, this was your chance. and if you failed, then you would go crawling back to your father and beg for forgiveness like you knew he wanted 

you only had one opportunity, and you used it for everything it was worth 

you had gotten a part time job, something you wanted to experience because for every other kid it was normal. got to stay out late and dance and sing and just experience things that you had never gotten to do in the confines of your old home 

in the confines of your father

and even if you didn’t get to continue your education (which you were greatly distressed about) you were happy because you were doing stuff you wanted 

it was when you were eighteen, when you spent two years as a trainee before you got the news that...

you made it 

you had made it! you were going to be put in a group! and even if they had already long ago debuted, you were going to show them that you were worth it 

you were worth more than what you father had said about you, than what he had planned for you 

but with that elation came hesitance

because you were joining a group that was composed of all males, seven of them, and you didn’t have a good experience with any males (well, male) in your life and you would be lying if you said you weren’t even a little bit scared

because you were never good enough for your father, what made them any different? what if you weren’t ever going to be good enough for anyone?

but they were different. they showed you that not every male was going to be like your father, that you were enough and more 

when you had first met them, you were a timid little thing because you had previously been sheltered and didn’t really have any friends 

you didn’t really know how to open up to anyone because no one ever cared to really try to connect 

they were all smiles and politeness and you blushed under their attention because no one really showed an interest in learning about you, not like they had

but you didn’t tell them everything. actually, you didn’t really tell them anything because you were scared that if the found out the truth, they would think you were useless just like your father

so you told them your name, age (which they were surprised about because you were young compared to them), and half truths 

about how you were not really close with your family, about how you weren’t really close with any friends 

and you expected them to look down on you for your answers but instead they welcomed you with open arms and treated you like they would treat anyone else 

and you loved it. loved that they saw you for you instead of just a rich mans daughter 

so slowly, you started opening up to them

they treated you like a normal person (a thing which you craved because it was something you never experienced) and they never only pointed out the things you were doing wrong, like your father had 

instead they pointed out your flaws and also pointed out what you had excelled at

“y/n, you should turn your body and bend a bit more for that move, but your energy was really good!” “maybe reach a little bit higher for that note? it went a little flat for a second, but your part in the bridge was perfect.” 

and it was those comments that you held close and cherished because they pushed you to do better but it was different than than the way your father pushed you

because you refined the things that you could actually fix instead of just thinking everything about yourself was horrible 

and maybe it was weird, but you really started to look up to them and that only caused you to work harder so that you would make them proud

but it wasn’t until a late night in the dance studio with jimin that really shifted your relationship with all of them

you couldn’t sleep again (like most nights) and you were dancing to a song that you had choreographed yourself 

you slightly overstepped and pushed your body forward by accident and had ended up twisting your ankle 

you almost started crying because what if the boys thought you were going to be a hindrance? what if they thought you were a failure for holding them back? 

but then the the dance studio door opened and in came walking jimin and you felt yourself shrink in, trying to make your body as small as possible because you were so scared 

and it was weird because you never felt this scared when you thought your dad would look down on you and you had only been in the group for two months and you shouldn’t be feeling this attached

and everything was overwhelming and jimin gasped when he spotted you on the floor crying with a bruised ankle 

his heart hurt to see you this upset so he quickly walked over and tried to get you to slow your breathing and when his calm and soothing voice reached your ears, you couldn’t help but relax slightly because he didn’t seem to be angry, only worried 

and then what he said next had you crying for a whole different reason

“is it ok with you if i look at your ankle?” 

he had asked. he had asked if it was something you wanted and that surprisingly meant more to you then it probably should 

and once again they proved that they were different than your father because your dad would just do, without any concern to what it might do to you. but they thought about you, about your well being 

you found yourself nodding and once he saw you were crying still he creased his eyebrows with worry, “does it hurt that bad?” 

you shook your head again and managed to get out, “you aren't mad at me?” 

and the world seemed to stop for a second and you held your breathe as you waited for his answer, and when he opened his mouth you got scared that he was actually angry

“you thought i would be mad? of course i’m not, it wasn’t your fault. it’s ok, you’re ok.” and even with your hurt ankle you leaned forward and hugged him because you were so relieved that he didn’t think you were a failure, glad that he still thought you were worth it

and even though he was confused at your reaction, he hugged you back anyway because he wanted to be there for you in any way he could

and your adoration for them only increase since then. you were really starting to feel closer to them and really starting to rely on them 

the week your ankle was healing, they made sure to check in every hour to see if everything was ok and it was a little overwhelming at times because you had never been this looked after before and it was new to you

and at least one of them would arrive home from practice early and give you everything you needed 

one time when yoongi came back early, he had come into your room and asked if you needed anything and you said no because you didn’t wanna hinder him but then your stomach growled in betrayal and you blushed 

he frowned and sat beside you on you’re bed, rubbing the back of his neck, “now, i know that i don’t look like the comforting type, but i’ll still help if you ask.” 

and your eyes widened and you shook your head, shooting up in bed because it really wasn’t that you thought he was bad at comforting but it was because you really just forgot to eat again

and that’s what you told him and he frowned for a different reason, “you forget to eat?” and then you would look down in shame because you thought he was disappointed in you 

he looked at your lowered head and sighed, lightly bumping shoulders with you, “hey, it’s ok. i’m not mad or anything. just worried.” 

and you tentatively looked up at him, hiding behind your hair, “i... just don’t eat that much. reminds me of the things i can’t have.” and then you looked back down

and yoongi thought that his heart broke a little bit because you sounded so small and sad and he was confused as to why but what he did know is that it hurt him to hear and see you like that 

he then bumped his shoulder with yours again so you would look up and then he flicked your forehead when you did 

and you looked at him with a slightly offended expression while bringing your hand up to touch the spot he flicked and once he saw the look on your face, he smirked a little, “what are you thinking about now?” and you would get this confused look on your face, because why was he asking? “why you flicked me.” 

and then he would smile triumphantly, “then it worked.” 

and it wouldn’t be till later that you realized that he had gotten you too think about something else so you wouldn’t dwell on the bad memories you had, and you smiled brightly trying to fall asleep that night

but you noticed that they all would start to bring more snacks in their bags whenever they went anywhere and offer them to you and it was hard to say no because you were kinda hungry when you thought about it 

and food started to taste a little better when you were around them 

and as time passed, they only surprised you more and more with their personalities and you started to really like just being around them, you felt like a better person 

and over time you had all grown closer too, up to the point where you would get into petty fights like real siblings (at least you liked to think of it that way, you never had any siblings)

for example, one time you were sitting on the couch scrolling through a phone the company recently got you and here comes jungkook running down the hallway 

he then jumps and lands right on top of your sitting figure on the couch and you yell because it scared you and why was he sweaty? 

“yah! get off me!” you then would push him on the face but it would get you nowhere because he was quite literally almost twice your size 

“no, i don’t wanna.” then he would shrug and pull out his phone while he was crushing you with his body weight and then you would scream out “hyung!” in hopes anyone would hear you and all of them would come running into the room because you never yelled and they thought it was an emergency 

but then it would sink in that, that was the first time you had called them hyung and they would get these goofy smiles on their faces (even jungkook, from where he was sitting on top of you) and you would look at them and then realize what you did 

you gasped and started apologizing because what if they didn’t want you to call them that? (obliviously not getting the message that they did from their faces alone)

but they would just shoot down your apologies because they would be happy that you finally felt close and comfortable enough to call them that 

and jin would walk up and ruffle your hair - well as best he could while jungkook was still sitting on you - and “come help your hyung in the kitchen.” and your smile would be worth more than anything to them and you would push jungkook off of you easily this time while yelling yes 

you then stuck your tongue out at him and he made a funny face back that had you giggling 

but something was always weighing on your mind, and it was the lack of your education. since your father had cut you off, you had no means on furthering your learning and it was something that really upset you because who couldn’t even complete highschool education? and you were afraid that the other members would be disappointed in you 

so you asked manager sejin (which he had grown pretty fond of you over the months) for a computer because you wanted to complete your education online if anything and he was completely behind the idea and backed you up 100 percent 

so you started your online learning but you had to admit, it was hard when you didn’t have a teacher to consult things with 

and you would get so frustrated because why couldn’t you just get this right? it was simple math! and you were disappointed in yourself because this was a big blow to your ego 

you were afraid that the others would would laugh at you but then you thought about how they proved time and time again that they were different than your father and so with that thought in mind you summoned your courage and went to knock on namjoon’s door

he was surprised to see you but smiled anyway and you sat down on his bed with your hair covering your face because you were still embarrassed and they didn’t know that you hadn’t finished highschool 

and he saw that you were struggling with what to say so he waited patiently because the last thing he wanted to do was scare you off

and you were grateful for that, so after a few minutes you gathered your thoughts and decided to just plunge right into the conversation, “hyung,” and they still smiled when you called them that, “i’m doing online school and um, was wondering if you could help me? i mean you don’t have to or anything but i just-” and he put a hand over your head to stop your rambling and smiled that dimple smile of his, “of course i’ll help. what do you need me for?” 

and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little surprised because it was highschool sophomore math because he thought that you had already graduated highschool but he still was glad to help you anyway 

and you could tell he wanted to ask but was hesitant, so you made it easier for him, “i wasn’t able to finish highschool.” and he looked perplexed for a moment but when he took in your sad expression he didn’t say anything more so you quietly added on “i don’t have a relationship with my father so..” and you trailed off and he sighed silently because it was hard for him to wrap his head around why someone would make you so sad, especially if that someone was your father so instead he opted to take your mind off the issue 

so he spoke up, “yah, the pythagorean theorem isn’t gonna learn itself.” and so the two of your stayed up and you understood the subject more when he explained it than in any real class you ever had 

so, these teaching sessions are almost a daily routine and sometimes it would be the others helping and it became something that you really enjoyed

because no one was ever willing to help you like this 

after months of living and knowing them, it was finally the crunch time to get ready for your first comeback with them and you were so nervous 

you would stay up later than usual to practice and they would be lying if they said they weren’t a little worried about your lack of sleep but they used to do the same thing before comebacks so they let it slide somewhat

but what they didn’t know was that you were also going to be doing a solo dance performance and you were so scared that no one would like it so you finally crumbled and asked for hobi because you wanted his opinion on your routine 

but his reaction to your dance sequence was one you didn’t expect 

as you flipped and glided through your choreo, hoseok stared wide eyed at you in wonder because he knew you were an amazing dancer but when it was just you and him in the dance studio, the emotion that you portrayed... it was just an astounding site to see

and when you finished you saw his expression and blushed, hiding your face in your hair because no one had looked at you like that before

“what? was it bad?” and it was a couple more moments before hoseok really gathered his thoughts to put them into words and he just walked over to you and put his hands on your shoulders so you would look at him

“y/n-ah, that was amazing. just everything about it... aish you have me speechless.” and he gave you that hobi heart smile and you couldn’t keep your eyes from tearing up but what he said next really got the waterworks going

“i am so, so proud of you, y/n” 

and you openly cried and hearing that sentence from someone you really looked up to was something you never knew you needed and you hugged him so tight and said ‘thank you’ over and over again because you really were 

you were so, so thankful 

and he carded his hands through your hair because namjoon had told him about you not having a good relationship with your dad and knew this was probably something that meant a lot to you. but he really was so, so proud of you because you had grown so much since being that little timid girl he had met months ago 

so you went home and played videogames with everyone and just had a good time so you wouldn’t get to stressed and later when you had finally managed to fall asleep, hobi would gush about your dance to the other members (without knowing you were going to be preforming it soon) and everyone was excited and wanted to see it too

but with hobi’s encouragement came more determination for you to work harder because you were going to amaze everyone if you had anything to say about it 

so you started to stay out late to the point where you would come back to the house when everyone else was sleeping and just be so tired that you would fall asleep on the couch, not even making it back to your room

and they would wake up and see you and look at you so fondly because they could see that you were working so hard and could see how badly you wanted everyone to succeed

and it would usually be jungkook who would pick you up and bring you back to your room so you could sleep just a little bit longer

they really were so proud of you 

and then it came to your comeback date and you were still so nervous but they’re presences made it better 

it was taehyung who came up to you then right before they were supposed to go onto the comeback stage and what he said would always stick with you, “no matter what happens out there, i, we, will always be there for you, no matter what. we will always be proud of you.” and you would tear up and the makeup unnie’s would get angry and push you back down in the makeup chair but they would have this gooey smile on their faces anyway

and your performance went perfectly 

it seemed like the audience was just as memorized as hoseok had been when you preformed your solo and army, thrown off by your presence, still accepted you because they could see the bond you had with the boys and how pure it was

and even though some didn’t agree, it was ok because seven other people where proud of you and that’s all you really needed

and then because of the amazing performance the eight of you go out to eat and you all joke and laugh and the food tastes amazing

and you think, this is what a family dinner must feel like 

and you almost cry again because this is all you really ever wanted, to be accepted, to be seen for your achievements instead of your flaws 

and you've only spent five months together but in those five months, you had grown so close to these people that showed you that you were more than what your father had told you, that you were amazing and perfect in your own way and they would never look down on you for your flaws

you could definitely get used to this 

so the next day taehyung took you out on a shopping spree because he wanted to spend time with you and you both basically wrecked havoc in a gucci store trying on everything you could 

and he wold tease you when you came out of the dressing room with a size that was way to big for you and you would taunt him back and bicker back and forth 

then you both went to the store and got ice cream for everyone and you all set up a fort in the living room and it was easily one of the best days of your life 

and after that the eight of you experienced things and created memories together and they showed you what real friends were, what real companionship and love felt like

and before you knew it, fathers day was in two days and you didn’t know what you were going to do, but you still felt like you should do something because father’s day is a day to celebrate the important males in your life

you had never felt like doing something like this when you lived with your actual father, and that spoke volumes to how close you had come to these boys

so on the saturday before the actual day, you tried to wake up as early as you could and get all the ingredients you needed

when you saw that you were missing eggs for the cake that you wanted to make for them, you tried to be as quick as possible so your hyungs wouldn’t be wondering where you went if they woke up 

it was the probably the fastest trip you had ever taken but it was all for naught when you walked back through the door 

you almost dropped your newly bought eggs when you heard a scream come from the living room and suddenly there were arms wrapping around you in a tight hug

“j-jimin?” was all you could squeak out before a barrage of voices tumbled over each other in efforts to scold you for leaving and not telling at least one of them, if not all of them 

“what were you thinking!? you scared me! you scared us!” jin said in your direction, where jimin was still wrapped around you 

“yah! we thought you left! or-or got kidnapped!” hoseok’s raised voice was one you decide you didn’t like 

once jimin let go, yoongi was quick to envelope you in a hug, “aish. i never wanna wake up to that kind of scare ever again.” 

once he pulled away you spotted taehyung and jungkook pouting with their arms crossed sitting on the couch, namjoon fixing you with a serious stare. “promise me you won’t do that again.” 

“promise us!” taehyung quickly added in and all you could do was nod because your head was still trying to process what just happened over the span of the last ten seconds

it wasn’t until your pinky was wrapped around jungkook’s in a pinky promise that the situation really set into your head and you lowered your head in shame and embarrassment, “i’m sorry.” 

jin sighed and ruffled his hair, “we were just worried. sorry for yelling y/n-ah,” and it warmed you with how protective they were over you and you looked up at him teasingly, “sorry eomma” and jin frowned while you and the maknae line snickered

it was when you got up to finally put the eggs away that jimin pulled you back down to sit beside him, hugging you again, “we worry about you because you’re our yodongseng, y/n-ah” and it was that one sentence that had you all smiley and giggly because that was the first time any of them had called you that, the first time anyone called you that and you were so happy 

because they saw you as their little sister and a bond like that was something you hadn’t felt before, and one you would never want to break

“thank you” you whispered as you got up and went to put the eggs away, the boys following after you 

“so why did you go to the store?” taehyung said as he looked at all the ingredients littered around the kitchen counters 

you gasped and remembered what you were doing and quickly turned around, “all of you, out! go away!” you yelled while physically pushing hoseok and yoongi out the kitchen door 

“wha- why?” namjoon got out before almost being pushed over and into a table by jungkook 

“surprise!” was all you yelled as you got all of them out of the kitchen but seokjin waited by the door. “hyung, what are you doing?” hoseok questioned. “just wait for it.” was all he said as he started counting down from five. and as he was just about to say one, you popped your head back through the door and shyly asked, “hey jin-hyung, can you help me with something?” and then he looked toward the others and smirked at their bewildered expressions. “i told you. she always asks for me when she needs help in the kitchen, and she always needs help.” you then hit him on the arm, “yah. i’m not that bad.”

then the both of you would enter the kitchen and you would try to explain that you needed to make a cake without really telling him you needed to bake one and it just led to a lot of confusion 

in the end you gave up and told him you needed to make one but you didn’t tell him what for, still trying to preserve a least a little bit of surprise

the both of you joked and laughed about useless things while mixing the eggs and milk and flour, making a cake from scratch and the others listened to your banter and smiled among themselves 

when the both of you settled down and put the cake in the oven, seokjin called your name, “y/n-ah,” and as soon as you turned around a wad of flour hit you in the face and jin’s windshield wiper laugh echoed out

but that was only the begging 

“this is war!” and then all of them came running into the kitchen and the flour that was supposed to hit jin, hit yoongi instead and you could’ve sworn you heard namjoon face plant at one point and then fifteen minutes later everyone was covered in flower and the kitchen was a mess

and you all found yourself sitting on the floor, waiting for when you had to take out the cake. and just being surrounded by all their presences, suddenly got you emotional 

“thank you” you said again, for the umpteenth time since you’ve known them. you took a deep breath, “i never got along with my father and-,” you sniffed and they waited for you to finish, jungkook nudging you with his shoulder and taehyung gently holding your hand, “and, all of this, the comfort and compassion you’ve shown me,” tears started to fall from your eyes and hoseok who was sitting across from you leaned over and wiped them off your face, “and i’m really grateful.” 

but before they could say anything to that, the oven went off and you took another deep breath and gathered your emotions, once again pushing them out of the kitchen so you could decorate the cake you would show them tomorrow

and while they were sitting in the living room together, waiting for you to finish, they all looked at each other and they could easily say that they would do anything for you because you really were their little sister and they cared about you so much

and while you decorated your cake for them, you thought that a giving them their surprise a day early couldn’t hurt (and you knew one of the maknae line would definitely come and sneak a bite of the treat in the middle of the night) 

so you walked out, flour caking your hair and clothes, holding the vanilla frosted cake that said ‘happy father’s day ‘ in purple, messy icing 

and oh my god they were so touched they could have cried (and some of them did)

and you stood in front of them, gathering your thoughts and as soon as you saw that jimin was about to say something, you started talking. “so, uh, originally i was going to give you all this tomorrow but i figured that it wouldn’t hurt to give it today. and father’s day is not only to celebrate fathers but to celebrate the important males in your life.” and there you go tearing up again, “and when i was younger, my mom left before i could really remember her, and my dad, he-” tears fell and you wiped them, “aish, i’m crying.” then you giggled and their hearts were simultaneously breaking and filling up at the same time. “he was never a father to me, so i never knew what it felt like to have one, to have a family. and it hurt everyday to think that no one in my family wanted me.” god you were a wreck and your words were coming out blurred now. “but then i came here-”

and before you could get out anymore there were seven pairs of arms wrapping themselves around you and your burrowed your head into the chest of nearest person (which happened to be yoongi) 

“that’s not true y/n” namjoon murmured and for a second you were confused because why would he say that about your situation? but then he continued, “we will always, always, want you in our lives. we are your family. and always will be.” and you were full on sobbing and so were they

and all you could get out was a sloppy, sobbed filled: “i love you” but they understood perfectly

“we love you too, y/n” and that was the single best moment in your life.

and then perhaps the next day you did anything they asked of you which led to the younger ones being scolded about how you weren’t their maid but then you would get up and get what they asked for anyway because this was their day

and the bickering, the love, and even the fights you would have sometimes, it would all be worth it in the end if it led you back to them 

[end]

end note: oh. my. god. i’m not crying, you are. the ending? when i was writing the flour scene? PLEASE I WAS SOBBING. this is one of the fics that i am most proud of and i really didn’t mean to make it this long, but here i am. i hope everyone has an amazing father’s day, and you get to celebrate it the way you want to! everyone reading this (and those who aren’t) deserve happiness, no matter who you are. and you are more then what people say about you. i love you guys to the moon and back, make sure you stay safe! (and as always, sorry for any spelling errors!)

~**~

masterlist 

request something!

taglist: @boba-tea1206​​

[p1nkwitch]

Oh I love all these prompts! Let me me unoriginal and request lonelyeyes for 63 please? 👁️

I hope you like it!!! i have decided to be soft today. They are both dumb and in love, but Elias is more of an idiot.

If you want more send them in!! I want to write something and i want ideas.

63- Routine Kisses Where The Other Person Presents Their Cheek/Forehead For The Hello/Goodbye Kiss Without Even Looking Up From What They’re Doing.

Elias would dare to say he loves his husband, there are moments like this one’s where he is very close to simply admit that he does. Its not even something that special, or big in the grand scheme of things, its merely… Peter being dumbly loyal like a well trained dog.

At first he thought it was some ploy, he will say that much. His sometimes husband is a very particular creature when it comes to his affections and defying his god. So to have him randomly kiss him? Without prompt?? It made him suspicious.

So he started to see if there was a pattern when it kept happening, nothing seemed to correlate these moods, the worst part was that they weren't even their usual kisses that he could say were a heat of the moment thing.

No, he was… giving him kisses out of nowhere in the forehead or cheek for god sake!!

Still, the other odd thing was his own reaction, it made him… feel rather good? It was odd, but ultimately innocuous. So he did not pay it any mind.

Until.

It was morning and Peter was in a hurry and was about to leave for a meeting with Nathaniel, which would leave him moping when he came back from the institute it always did. So he relished in the calm before that. However, before he could leave, Elias while watching him from the couch tilted his head to the side looking at him go-

When Peter immediately turned around, leaned down and kissed his cheek, it was… softer than usual, even in his hurry he made sure to be careful, after he also gave him a peck and left quickly through the door.

Both his cheek and lips tingle and he feels his heart go faster.

Oh. 

Oh Elias wanted more of that, of that softness and… care. He craved for it now, and Peter?

Peter gave him new and important insight that day. The moment Peter left, his mouth went into a huge grin. Oh he would enjoy this new power very much so.

So now he would do it every time before leaving and when he came home, and Peter no matter what he was doing would merely move and kiss his cheek or forehead softly making him feel giddy for the next few hours. He loved it. Loved the attention, loved that Peter would even for a second drop whatever is that he was doing just to give him that small kiss.

It was addicting.

And the feeling was always the same as the first time, warmth and something fluttering in his gut, making him grin like a fool once he is not visible. Its not something he is used to, to feel that… good. But most of their kisses are far more heated, not used to something so… innocuous or innocent. It's like when he was young and had his first crush as Jonah, the other boy who kissed his cheek did not mean it as anything but friendly, but to him it was everything.

This was the same.

Peter was after all as dependable as always and he loved him for it, and perhaps he thought it was a manipulation at first but its more like he just… likes the feeling of it, no strings attached, he is not even doing it consciously, its just out of complete reflex and because he loves him. Oh he knows that Peter Lukas would never do this with anyone else.

It was making him high on power, he wanted him to keep doing it and in fact-

He started to see if he could get him in other ways, so now in the morning before leaving for work he would pat his chest once and tilt his head, Peter would lean down and kiss his brow, before going back to make his ship in a bottle or eat his breakfast.

Soon he could do it without the tilt and only the pat. So if they were going out for dinner his husband would inevitably react and kiss him in public, which he never did before, too shy and shameful of being perceived as loving. The first time he seemed to freeze, but when he looked down at him flushed and with his mouth slightly open, his husband merely turned around to look elsewhere but did not disappear on thin air like he expected.

The next few times he did not hesitate and merely did it, Elias felt his heartbeat go faster and his smile be a little more genuine at the small acts of love. Because that's what it was and they both knew it at this point.

It creeped on him, that's why maybe it became his hubris.

Elias wakes up one morning alone in bed as per usual, he showers, changes and goes to the kitchen where breakfast is already served. They dont speak much, he is still sort of waking up and Peter is enthralled by his crossword puzzle. He bought him actual muffins from the bakery down the street, the little bastard. His smile tugs up.

Once he finishes he sees him struggle with a word and feeling generous instead of plucking it out of his mind, he gets up and stands behind him.

“What are you doing-?”

“Shush, I'm helping” He reads and after thinking it he says the answer making his husband look up at him and tilt his head slightly in wonder. Elias doesnt think about it and leans down since the man was actually sitting down, and kisses his forehead lightly before getting up to pick up his stuff for the day. It's halfway through that he realizes what he has done that he feels his face burn, the mirror confirms that his cheeks were flushed. 

Oh god.

When he comes back the kitchen and livingroom are empty and there is some fog on the floor.

“...Sap”

It… doesn't stop really, the next time he does it, Peter stiffens but doesn't disappear, when he reciprocates Elias sighs and doesn't comment.

Eventually neither of them really pay it any mind anymore. It becomes completely natural to expect a kiss if they move in a certain way no matter the situation. 

He oversleeps and has to leap out of bed yelling at Peter for not waking him up, he claims he tried but that he cursed him out, rolled around and kept sleeping.

“Useless!!” With everything in place he was about to leave when he heard him from the kitchen.

“Aren't you forgetting something?” Mumbling under his breath he goes towards him lifts his chin with his hand and kisses the side of his mouth softly, before whispering.

“Happy now?” Peter’s eyes looked like plates and he swallowed before laughing nervously at him. His voice went higher.

“I meant breakfast, I bought you muffins ….” He practically squeaks the last part when Elias kisses the tip of his nose and his cheeks repeatedly.

“Thank you dear-” Peter was a mess, his face was absolutely red and Elias was not faring any better, but he picks up the little muffing in its bag and goes.

Oh he will definitely cherish the image of today. Even if it came at his expenses.

[uwuowotf2waslife]

The mercs with an s/o who is on the autism spectrum? If you want to

 as a person with diagnosed autism( ASD that later changed to SCD but concidering my countrys lack of proper diagnosis and non-existant support when i was growing up, im not sure,it might was a result of chronic abuse or i was a really weird kid) its my duty to answer this ask,

always know that you are perfect with all your imperfections 

just because maybe your brain is wired different it doest make you less of a person

you are poetry

Scout

-my boy has adhd ( probably undiagnosed until he was examined by Medic) so you two might have a little problem at the begining.

-he might be the closest to a jack russel in human form, but he cares about you and is willing to sit down and do his research so he can understand you and your struggles. He isn’t a hypocrite, he is a hyperenergetic bundle of daddy issues and is sure he will annoy you from time to time, he annoys pretty much everyone except his mom on rare occasion, he is a hanfull and he knows that years now. But he also has come to understand that everyone has struggles and little things that make them more special than others.

-if you have problems with communication , he’ll be your mouth .Problems with sensory overstimulation? he will escort you to the safest place and hug you tighter than he thought hes capable of. People mistreating or bullying/insult you? the bat is in his hands and his ready to hit home runs on their balls. You might not be the perfect couple, you will struggle like every couple and have fights and arguments, but he is ready to phase every difficulty that comes on your way. He loves you and he is here for the ride even if its bumpy.

Soldier

-( I and i think a big part of the community claim he is actually autistic) Probably the most tricky of the mercs, since at one side he might completely relate/understand you and the relationship go smoother than soft butter on bread, or he might have problems communicating the relationship problems with you.

-as all relationships you two must sit down and communicate your problems. Believe me he isn’t mentally retarded ( a horrible misconsumption ive seen being thrown around), yes he is stubborn and can’t read social cues to save his life, but he is a loyal beefcake with a golden heart hardened by a lifitime of war. He knows he isn’t the perfect man, he has nightmares and panic attacks on the regualr after so much trauma in his life. But he also knows that if he S/O needs him, it doesnt matter if its a small or big thing, he is ready to go through hell and back to make them happier or more comfortable 

-you can’t stand loud noises? copy that privet, he will stop yelling/ screaming around you. Certain things make you uncomfortable/ anxious? hes at your side and he is ready to snap necks...you have his heart and his adoration, he ain’t a coward or a pansy, you’ll win over any challenge that comes your way like the absolute unit you are and he is there to assist

Pyro

-fresh from the start they can recognise you have autism, i lowkey think they might be ( actually in young adults asd and mild schizophrenia can be mixed and confused by not good qualified doctors, its been years since i read that study so correct me if im wrong) or have really good gut insticts. Either way, they know you are struggling and trie in subtle ways to help you

-did an important call without stuttering? hug and smooch on the crown of your head, completed all your work/homework? they will cover you in stickers and cuddle you in their pillowfort, stood up for yourself? my girl theyll make a huge cupcake tray and youll two will eat while watching sappy disney films

- you won’t struggle as much, i see them as more easy going than other members of the team. But they also have big issues that may create problems in the relationship that you both need  to work on. They are more than a handfull and they aren’t unaware of it, they spended years locked inside their own head doing god-knows how vile and harming things to their mentality and body, they can’t believe they are alive and they wake up every day next to the most beautifull human being they have come across their lif, ( Y/n). You will bond slow but strong , you are their sunshine and theyll make sure their sunshine shines no matter what they have to do

Engie

( lowkey i think is canon he has some form of high-functioning autism, just hide its behind the southern warm and soft hospitality)

- when you confess, he hugs you ( a big thing coming from him since i dont consider him a touchy fella)  and returns the confession that he is too. He knows each person experiences different so he won’t press you for explanations or description of what you have is excactly. He just assures whatever happens, he is there to help you with

- doesn’t really change how he views you, but he takes the initiative for things like talking to strangers, calling to order or things that you struggle with, but he doesnt baby you. You are an adult person and will be treated as that, even if sometimes he feels he needs to “help” or “protect” you

-one of the most  easy going of the mercs, but his work is his priority so there will be long arguments about it. He understands your frustation, but he is a workaholic years now before you came in his life and can’t bring himself to change that. His work is his routine, the only comfort he knows and the only place that accepted him for who he is. But, he will be more elastic and have more breaks/ days off even if it means the project will be finished an hour or two later, unless it has an urgent deadline. He knows he can be very cold and emotionless, he is an engineer, not a spy for that reason. Furthermore he has his own times when he is stubborns or has an anger explosion because something broke/didnt meet his expectations or got way too invested into something that turned to be worthless/ uselless so he isn’t the one to judge if you are in a sour mood or you have your own “ explosion”. After all said and done, late at night when you are both alonein his workshop he will just cradle you in his arms and make a silence promise to always be there for you through thin and thick ( as we say to go through 40 waves and 40 more ) because you are something that no machine or creation can emulate or recreate, you are ( Y/N) and you are the love of his life.

Demo

-arguably one of the three more knowledgable of the mercs in the topic of mental health department. Being raised in an orphanage i doubt he didnt had at least a dozen other kids who had from high to moderate to severe autism ( during the 20th century it wasnt uncommon for people with autism to be thought less human or that the family of said people couldn’t provide for them in severe cases so theyd be dropped on orphanages and psychiatric hospitals)., so he has some first hand experiene with what autism is. It isn’t something for him in all honesty, after so much trauma and hardship in his life he is at peace that peopleare different and their brains are rarely wired the same

-he also know he isn’t ideal, he acts really stupid when he is drunk and his alcohol consumption alone is a very big problem for any relationship he ever had in his life and i doubt he is the image of psychological perfection, but he also knows that if you are willing to keep him around you have seen him wasted out of his mind, he is more than willing to put up with anyof your quirks or difficulties.

-you want to stim? go ahead he’ll leave the room/the house so you can stim to your hearts content, you want to stay? sure thing lass, hell sit in a corner and drink a bit while you have your thing. Work/ school/ home life is stress full and you are in the verge of a breakdown? he has already wrapped you like a burrito and he is holding you while you cry/vent, you dont want to be touched at that moment? hell take you to an open field and you can blow things up to get all those feelings out of you. He isn’t ideal, he is at peace with that, but now that you appeared in his life, you became the apple of his eye. He’ll cherish you and protect you both as body but as a mind and a soul for whatever shit life throws at you, he was never one to back down a challenge.

Heavy

-due to the language barrier and his nature as a quiet man it’ll take him some time. If you bring it up he’ll simply nod and run to Medic or Spy for translation. He isn’t shy to do a doctors worth of research so he knows what he has to deal with, he knows his english is broken and would prefer to have a migraine over the amount of books hes read than make you feel uncomfortable. Probably will ask advice from Medic ( the most qualified on the team) untill hes satisfied he knows enough.

-probably the sanest of the mercs, but he isn’t perfection. He had to endure famine and death from very early in his life, always be the stone his family anchored on and most people on his life, so he has his own big problems. At one side he is used to so many things, he is somewhat indiferent. You aren’t harming anyone nor its life threatening, so it doesnt really change what he feels about you. All people have flaws, noones perfect and if they do think they are perfect, they are very, very wrong. I won’t lie to you, some times hell get confuse with your behavior or will get tired of being the “ anchor” of the relationship, but he will never admit it. He survived the Gulags and years in Siberia, this is nothing but a walk in the park for him. He isn’t a fuckboy, he doesn’t want you just for some fuck and then hell forget you exist, he is much more sentimental than he appears to be. He beginned this with you because he sees you more than a body, he sees you as someone he wants to spend the rest of his life with even if itll be a challenge, he was never a quiter and he wont be now.

- don’t expect much communication help from him, unless its in russian. But whenever you feel the tiniest bit of self-doubt or anxiety his arms are open to embrace and warm you with  his love. He might was raised among anarchy and war, but he is a gentle giant with a heart bigger than Russia herself. He knows you two will struggle especially on the communication domain but he is willing  to do what it takes to make your life easier/ less challenging. He came here to stay, only if you allow him 

Medic

-Arguably the most medically qualified of the mercs, but considering the era of his studies hes at least rusty on modern terminology and general understanding of what autism is. Nontheless his a doctor ( with or without a medical license) and i doubt he ever followed the rules of ethical and unethical medicine. He is a healer primeraly and he can’t claim to be the most mentaly stable of the team.

-he might be many things, he knows hes at least crazy by normal standards and has made extremely questionable choices in his life,but he cares for the people he is close to, lovers and collagues alike. He won’t try to ‘change’or ‘medicate’ you; unless you specifically ask him for, like yes he has defied any sort of ethical medicine and has played god many times in his life, but he knows that if he changes you, you won’t be ‘you’. You will be you still, but nothing more than a lobotomized version of yourself and he fears that. Let’s be real, he probably choosed you because you are a smart individual ( that includes both street and book smarts alike) so if he “killed” your smart he would essentially kill you and this doesnt sit well with him.

-feeling down? no worries, the doctor is here ( afterhe finis hes re-connecting snipers new kidneys). Stressed? Archimedes will be your own personal cheerleader and the rest of the flock won’t let you all stressed and alone while Medic is working. In the simplest of works,he wants you to know that  he might be a madman on the field and the medbay, but he is also your lover and that means he cares about you. He doesnt care if act a lil strange or you have some special things about you, guess what? he doesnt cares. H e never cared and he will never cared, all the greatest minds had something  special about them and you are no exception. He chosed to have a relationship with  you and you accepted the love request of a surgery-happy maniac , im sure he is beyond equiped to handle you in all aspects. He might not be the most touchy but he will make his point across that you are someone who means wayy to much for him to change

Sniper

- ( i highly think he is autistic, just the way hes potrayed in most fanfics he acts lowkey autistic, mostly in the communication and sociable part) growing up in the middle of nowhere probably he has never even heard ‘autism’ as a word , so his very lost. (another headcanon of mine is that he is also iliterate) You need to explain to him what autism is and how it affects your life. He has a non-pleasant expression on his face, because he realises most things that you say what that “autism”is and the thing it has are things he actually  has and felt throughout his life. He looks like hes having a religious expierience and when you are done he only nods and hugs you almost mechanically.

-he will need some time, not because ofyou, but because of him. You might think he is breaking up with, butin reality he just needs some time alone to sit down and think about all the things you said. Its one of the biggest revalations he has experienced on his life and it has hit him like a wall of bricks.

- after a few days he will return to the base and will ask you to meet with him on the most secluded of his snipers nest. While you prepare for the upcoming breakup, he actually showers and wears somet hing nice for the first time in a while. He goes out of his way to make the sniper nest a bit more “ comfortable” even bribe spy into giving him one of his fancy wines. Once you go up the nest and you two meet, he is the most clingy he has ever been and almost drinks the whole bottle out of pure anxiety. Once his tipsy enough he actually confesses that from the things you said, he found out hes also autistic. Que him basically clinging you like a broken koala baby while half-sobbing to expell all the tension he  has inside him. Please pet his hair and rub his back,he will melt and quit his rugged manly man persona for that moment. He needs you there, he needs your soft touch to ground him while his whole life comes crushing down and a weight he never imagined is being lifted from his shoulders.After that, its quaranteed you two won’t be seperated ever again, he needs you to ease all this pain he has gathered from his troubled life and he will provide you the world and the stars.

Spy

- he knows what autism is( as a spy he should know about human psychology/mental disorders just to know how to impersonate any person with or without issues) and he is a very observant man. He has above average attention span and knows how to read body language so he has figured you are autistic a long time ago. He is just waiting for you to open up about it or confess it, but he also knows the social stigma around autism so he keeps his mouth shut because he really doesn’t want you  to feel uncomfortable or ‘naked’ in front of him

- i heavily headcanon him to be at least depressed/having an ugly anxiety disorder or even a dissosiative disorder considering a big part of his life is carefully crafted theater , so he can’t say he is any more better than you.Furthermore he never really cared about what society thinks about mental ilnesses, whos here to judge who sane and not? he has seen so much shady things behind closed doors of “ pure” people he has lost all respect for what society thinks its normal and what is weird or not acceptable. Yes he follows the rules of “good” society but thats more of a habit than a need. Plus have you seen what the good ol’ society behind close doors? yap youll need a good bible study and some church to wash away the sins.

-eventually when you confess to him,he doesn’t really act. He knows its a heavyemotinal moment for you but he can’t open up for his own problems, at least now. But he will embrace you for now and say all the sweet words you need to hear...untill the same time he gets drunker than he can and confesses to you in french all his psychological troubles while he cries on your chest. He won’t let go unless he wants to vomit and he will cling to you for dear life while he experiences one of the ugliest meltdowns he has experienced in the last decade. Probably will wake up with a monster of a hangover, but once he feels you wrapped around him and feel your heartbeat on the bones of his back something will meltin him. He will gather whatever strenght he has, turn around, give you one of the most genuine smiles he has ever given in his entire life and peck your lips bore he starts whining and requiesting you to either kill him or fetch medic. Perhaps one day hell say all the things he wants to say in you mother tongoue but for now, just know he will cherish you and love you like the most exquisite poetry that has graced his life

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-08-23

More homestuuuuuck

I’m a little tired today so I don’t expect much intelligent analysis out of myself, but if anything classpecty happens I doubt I’ll be able to help myself regardless.

oh, always

(EDITS: added note on horn colors, link to ask on potential Blood powers reference)

> CHAPTER 12. Really Convoluted Metaphorical Horseshit

cuuute

In the bowels of a different ship, at a moment in time that is not pinpointable in either direction from the previous interaction, another Dave raps quietly to himself.

another dave raps quietly to himself.  i am glad that phrase exists it brings me joy

(LATER EDIT: A friend on Discord pointed out that throughout this entire update, Karkat's horns are #FF0000 red. They were normal candy-corn colors in previous glimpses at the ship crew, though they used a dark single-color shortcut typical of old Homestuck at one point... but THIS time it stays STARK red even when we zoom in close later. Is this just artistic liberty? Did Karkat color his horns for fashion? Does this happen to red-bloods like the Sufferer after a certain age? Just how much time has actually passed, here? We might have to wait for the commentary for this one.)

KARKAT: I WAS SAYING I THOUGHT WE MIGHT GO, I DUNNO, ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE ENTIRE SHIP WHILE THE CLOTHES WERE WASHING. KARKAT: SEEING AS THIS DECREPIT MACHINE WE WERE SO BLESSEDLY PROVIDED WITH MAKES A WHIRRING SOUND SO PANCHAFINGLY ARHYTHMIC THAT IT THREATENS TO ERADICATE THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF TEMPO FROM THE UNIVERSE.

Karkat really has chilled out hasnt he?  like this is surprisingly level for him, and that fact is hilarious.

KARKAT: AND YET SOMEHOW BASICALLY ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE WE STARTED THE LOAD IS THAT YOU’VE BEEN USING IT AS A FUCKED UP BEAT TO WHISPER TO YOURSELF ABOUT FLOWERS TO.

oh gosh that’s why he’s rapping

> ==>

DAVE: kanaya was telling me this kids story the other day about this dude who didnt cherish a flower enough until it peaced out to do flower stuff idk its not pertinent to the story DAVE: except the flower was a person DAVE: because it was a metaphor

Oh right, coming back to the Little Prince stuff I was too lazy to metaphor-deep-dive into, and literally asking the same questions we were asking about who the Little Prince’s story applies to mapped here if anyone at all, like Dirk and such, or what biases were in the retelling of it and the way Kanaya phrased it.  So now we’re practically mocking it by deep diving it here, hence the last page’s “DAVE: i was just thinking through some really convoluted metaphorical horseshit”, which means we’re both about to further explore AND shit all over the existence of this story metaphor until it doesn’t mean anything and most of the meaning we drew from it earlier is made a joke~

well, not “we”, cause I was too lazy, so... y’all

DAVE: anyway what goes down in the story is that once the flower lady is out of the picture DAVE: the main character goes around making all these connections between her and everything else in the universe until every damn thing feels like a symbol for how much he fucked up and how much he will never see her again KARKAT: THIS SEEMS PRETTY FUCKING INTENSE FOR A KID'S STORY DAVE: yea thats pretty much what i said

Oh holy shit.  That’s yet another way to put it.  Are we doing a whole moral takedown of the Light aspect today?  cause it sounds like we’re taking a dump on the Light aspect and RoboRose getting too obsessed and immersed in it, which would be excellent

DAVE: but i guess its not so much what the story was technically textually about but more like the version of it kanaya internalized and then told me when we were talkin about how she misses rose

exactly

DAVE: so like now im taking the story she told me she was projecting her feelings onto and projecting my feelings on top of that

yes absolutely, you just rephrased it a different way with that exact same bias

DAVE: this is just one big game of emotional projection telephone so feel free to go paraphrase it to roxy later and make it about whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing

perfect. i need an emoji for that Italian thing for when you pinch your thumb and forefinger together and kiss it

ah this’ll do:

its like the expression “choice” but in nonverbal form

[...] whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing KARKAT: YOUR ABILITY TO GET TO THE POINT DAVE: gotem DAVE: anyway you’re not gonna have to miss that skill of mine for long DAVE: get ready for this shit because i am about to slap you with the point so hard youll fall ass first into the washer DAVE: just scrambling around in there getting all sudsy DAVE: but your brain is gonna be so blasted from the mindfreak of a point im about to make that there wont be anything left to clean

Anytime dave is told to get to the point he is contractually obligated to spend at least 20 seconds talking about how he’ll get to the point in a way that is not getting to the point

DAVE: so its genuinely cool that kanaya can go around creating meaning that may or may not be actually present in every little thing DAVE: connecting every feeling she has to the idea of her wife existing out there DAVE: so i told her she should keep that shit up DAVE: but im having the opposite issue where im struggling to find anything to be that kind of tether because every single thing i could possibly consider about what it is were doing just reminds me of yet another thing to be afraid about

Great examples of Light being good and bad!  Attaching strands of connective meaning to everything.  --though, in Dave’s case AND Kanaya’s case you could argue it’s both bad in terms of effects.  That it’s great for Kanaya to care, but that she should be able to divest herself and live on her own terms without idealizing Rose literally everywhere she looks, personal growth which would be useful in helping bring Rose back to her in the first place.  The struggle they’re looking forward to is largely philosophical, not just physical, and until Rosebot acknowledges that she was wrong it’s not over.

DAVE: everything fuckin sucks huge cosmic donkey sack and im terrified KARKAT: OK, SO I FEEL LIKE YOU SKIPPED A COUPLE NECESSARY STEPS IN YOUR POINT CLARIFICATION PROCESS.

Pretty sure Dave was on the same page as most Epilogue and start-of-HS2 readers.  This situation is pretty bleak to dump our heroes into, no matter how much we believe will be resolved in the long run.

DAVE: ok but were you going with sweet or savory please give me that much at least KARKAT: YEAH IT WAS GOING TO BE SUNDAE-BASED. DAVE: nice KARKAT: YEAH. KARKAT: DO YOU WANNA WATCH MORE GBBO AFTER THIS? DAVE: absolutely

--ah, Great British Bake-Off, can’t say I’ve indulged

do they still have that?? did they save it from old Earth?  or did they go where unflooded Britain used to be and say hey, new show reboot

KARKAT: GREAT. ANYWAY, LIKE I WAS SAYING, FOR THE LOVE OF SWEET HUMAN CHRIST, PLEASE BACK UP TO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU’RE ACTUALLY SCARED OF. KARKAT: ALSO COME HERE, IDIOT.

That last line is like, exactly as fucking sweet and awesome as we imagined their relationship to be.  :)

> ==>

OH MY GOD THAT’S ADORABLE

DAVE: ok yeah this is a better position to unleash all my inner fears n anxieties from

indisputably.

DAVE: those times its like my mouth was saying words about the situation wherein our friends are AWOL and maybe dead but my brain wasnt fully letting me experience the emotion that goes along with them DAVE: man its like i cant even start genuinely thinking about how afraid i actually am for rose and john without my brain flippin its wad and whiting out DAVE: like haha fuck i hope theyre ok DAVE: now i better make a fuckin joke before i succumb to the gaping mouth of despair waiting for me to fall in it as soon as i look down and acknowledge that its there ogling how juicy my ass looks as it trembles with terror

I really hope that the writers of HS2 know full well that this feeling? the one Dave is describing here? is what many of us who got way overinvested in the well-being of Homestuck’s surviving characters felt reading the Epilogues and Homestuck^2.  So I really hope they’re working through it in a way that will result in a preponderance of GOOD THINGS happening and hope-filled situations.  Cause that “can’t even think about X” feeling is too familiar, and if they understand it as well as it LOOKS like they’re getting to, I’d really like them to give us a helping hand healing.

I think that’s what they’re going for?  Seems hopeful for me to think so, but they HAVE been doing better as HS2 has been going forward, from an emotional standpoint anyway; definitely better than the Epilogues.  And I’ve worked through some of that stuff with the help of that, because it’s MUCH easier nowadays to think about Homestuck without my gut clenching.

DAVE: i guess im just fucked up about how to worry about dirk and be angry at him at the same time DAVE: because if i get as unholy pissed at him as i sometimes wanna be i also gotta admit to myself that maybe i coulda done something different there

Mhmm, Karkat’s potentially a pretty good person to speak with here since he’s done so much work trying not to feel responsible for everything that’s ever gone wrong.

DAVE: also like DAVE: and this by the way adds a whole other layer of guilt on there that i dont really know how to fuckin reckon with but DAVE: even with all the shit hes pulled and the fact that we are more or less heading toward having to take him down DAVE: whatever that is gonna mean and whether or not he planned it like that DAVE: i just DAVE: me and him had come so far with each other and it was really cool for a while to have him and i DAVE: ugh DAVE: i dont WANT to hate him

Yeah, Dirk and Jane’s heel-turns were really shitty for anyone who was a fan of them in the fanbase, as well.

KARKAT: WELL THEN QUIT FUCKING PICKING AT THE SEAM ON MY SHORTS AND SPIT IT OUT. THEY'RE BARELY HANGING ON TO THE DEFINITION OF "SHORTS" AS IT IS.

That is an adorably real boyfriend-laying-in-boyfriend’s-lap thing to do

DAVE: the part i mentioned before about how we really have no goddamn clue how long this trip is even gonna take DAVE: i cant help but feel like its barely getting revved up DAVE: and for me and roxy and jade and callie and kan thats normal shit at best and boring at worst but we all have our immortality to thank for that DAVE: we can just dick around in space for near-eternity waiting to catch up to our friends who may or may not be our enemies now and itll be fine DAVE: i mean no itll be categorically miserable DAVE: but well survive it KARKAT: HOLD THE FUCK ON. DAVE: but you KARKAT: DAVE. DAVE: no lemme say this

Oh god damnit.  Karkat’s limited lifespan.  As if we hadn’t ALREADY covered a nauseatingly extensive gamut of disheartening topics of conversation.  We really have to confront every shred of misery in their past, present and future one after the other after the other in the Epilogues and HS2, don’t we?  >:(

I guess it had to be discussed, though.

DAVE: we dont talk about it much and i got shit to say about it DAVE: its not like i never thought about how youre mortal before but i just thought wed be able to figure it out before it mattered DAVE: come up with some kind of plan DAVE: i was just distracted being happy with you i fucking guess and so i didnt think up a way to fix it DAVE: and now thanks to dirk we have to work it out right the fuck now DAVE: because i cant spend this trip just sitting around watching you get old and die

Jesus.  I mean, WE know(?) that it’s not gonna be THAT many years, but THEY don’t know that.

Unless it really IS going to be that many years and HS2 is going to shamelessly take a fucking sledgehammer to our feelings for no goddamn good reason.  Which it won’t!  Right???  >:T

> ==>

Dishwasher ding

> Dave: Grapple with the clean, soggy consequences of the passage of time.

Hey, don’t make it a metaphor here. --though, fuck.  I suppose we are dealing with everyones dirty laundry.  God damnit.  SURE, deal with it all story but then GET IT OUT OF THE WAY AND PUT SOME SERIOUS FUN AND LAUGHS IN HERE so we don’t feel like we’re wading through an entire garbage dump!!!  *click*

Karkat’s eyebrows-only mouthless frown is really cute.

> ==>

okay Karkat explain the nope you’re lodging

> ==>

*put*

> ==>

*foot*

> ==>

DAVE: ok go on

I mean I at least appreciate the time investment in adorable boyfriends.  That’s definitely something of SOME good value they’re giving us in exchange for this misery

> ==>

That Karkat image makes me wanna do that red-shaky-gif-thing with it

KARKAT: IT'S NOT LIKE I'M NEW TO THE PARTICULAR MOOBEAST WRANGLING EVENT OF SOMEONE I PREVIOUSLY LOVED BRUTALLY TURNING ON ME AND LEAVING ME TO TRY AND CRAM MY FEELINGS ABOUT THE SITUATION BACK TOGETHER ALL ON MY OWN.

True

KARKAT: HE DID THAT ON HIS OWN. AND WE MADE THE CHOICE TO GO AFTER HIM ON OUR OWN.

Yes, and you’ll possibly convince him more of that over time, though not in this short conversation

KARKAT: I WAS FOLLOWING YOUR LITTLE TRAIL OF COOKIE CRUMB FEARS UNTIL IT LEAD TO THE BIG SNACK FINALE OF WORRY ABOUT MY FRAGILE MORTAL MEATSACK. KARKAT: IF I HAVE SOMEHOW NOT BEEN CLEAR ABOUT THIS WITH YOU YET, LET ME GO AHEAD AND RECTIFY THE SITUATION RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. KARKAT: HANGING OUT WITH YOU ON THIS LONG TRIP TO WHO THE SHITTING FUCK KNOWS WHERE IS QUITE LITERALLY THE HAPPIEST I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY ENTIRE MEAGER EXISTENCE. KARKAT: I'M SO ABSOLUTELY BLISSED THE FUCK OUT OF MY MIND TO BE ABLE TO LOOK AT YOUR STUPID IMMORTALLY SMOOTH HUMAN FACE SKIN EVERY DAY AND NOT HAVE A COMPLEX ABOUT IT.

D’AWWW

And with that darkly angry expression too, that’s PERFECT

I mean it’s true.  What exactly would they be doing DIFFERENTLY on Earth C other than enjoying each other like this?  It’s pretty fucking great.

...hm.  Isn’t this journey-not-the-destination stuff pretty Breathy?  Karkat’s proving more balanced by the moment.

KARKAT: AND I'LL BE STRAIGHT WITH YOU. IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVEN'T BEEN EXPERIENCING SOME COMPLICATED GUILT, MYSELF. KARKAT: THE FACT THAT I'M HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE JUST FUCKING CHILLAXING AND BEING IN LOVE IN SPACE IS A CLEARLY INCONGRUOUS WITH THE REASON I'M ACTUALLY HERE CHILLAXING TO BEGIN WITH, AND I'M NOT LETTING MYSELF FORGET THAT, EITHER.

Pff.  He feels guilty for ENJOYING IT so much.  <3

KARKAT: BUT I RESENT THE IMPLICATION THAT MY HAPPINESS IS REGISTERING FOR YOU AS YOU HAVING TO JUST "SIT AROUND AND WATCH ME GET OLD," BECAUSE I KNOW YOU KNOW IT'S MORE THAN THAT.

I’m glad Karkat knows that DAVE knows somewhere in him that it’s more than that, because yeah, if Karkat thought he DIDN’T know that at some level that’d be a reason to take MUCH MORE SERIOUS offense.

KARKAT: LIKE, JESUS, DAVE. YOU KNOW I'M AFRAID FOR YOU, TOO, RIGHT? KARKAT: OR DID YOU FORGET THE WHOLE HEROIC DEATH THING? KARKAT: I WORRY ABOUT LOSING YOU FAIRLY FUCKING REGULARLY.

Hah!!!  Point taken.  Karkat must view Dave as practically more fragile than HIM.

KARKAT: ONE: WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA THAT I REFUSE TO NOT ENJOY THIS SHIT WHEN I FINALLY FUCKING GET IT, NO MATTER HOW LONG IT MAY OR MAY NOT LAST. KARKAT: TWO: IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE DOING NOTHING. WE’RE MOVING. WE’RE WORKING. WE’RE HEADED SPECIFICALLY TO A PLACE WHERE WE WILL UNDOUBTLEDLY ENDURE YET MORE FUCKING HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA. KARKAT: AND THREE: WE'RE DOING THAT BECAUSE WE HAVE FRIENDS WHO WE CARE ABOUT THAT NEED US. THAT IS OUR FOCUS, HERE. NOT OUR FEAR. IT'S ABOUT THE PEOPLE WE HAVE TO SAVE. KARKAT: SO DON'T FUCKING WORRY ABOUT ME, DAVE. I'M FINE.

Okay, this is great and wholesome.  I am now retroactively GLAD that this topic got brought up.  :)

> ==>

Dave is still afraid. There is a part of him that will always be, he thinks. He has accepted this about himself. There is another feeling coursing through him too, though. It’s something he's felt before, though never quite so intensely. He looks up at Karkat and understands, viscerally, the simple power his words have. They pump through Dave’s own body, alive and warm and true.

He wonders if Karkat realizes it, or if he’s just, as always, saying what he feels as he feels it. Dave doesn’t attempt to dissect it further. There will be time for that later.

Every really loving moment like this is sort of undercut by the fact that it’s also, in some senses, part of alt!Calliope’s narration and, by extension, her fanfiction.

EDIT 2: There's also either a hint to potential Blood powers or even an explicit Blood power use here that I didn't recognize. I'm leaning towards it's-laying-the-groundwork-for-future-use-of-Blood-powers-but-isnt-magical-in-this-case.

> ==>

Smooooch!

That was nice.  Still gonna wait on doing any commentary til next time or a Bonus update or two, cause I’m beat.  See y’all next time!

[bakugoukatsukisonly]

i did this on the spot because i just had an idea after reading a dj of them, im a sucker for bakudeku so please bear me.

baku deku oneshot

in which midoriya gets a 'fall in love' quirk

midoriya was shocked, like seriously, who wouldnt? when someone you ever met just now, confessed to you in the span of 2 seconds of eye meeting and in came another person that was just passing by suddenly had the audicity to grab midoriya's hand. he was very terrified and so he ran.

//

"wh-what? a quirk?" midoroya uttered in shock. "apparently so," recovery girl, who midoriya confronted about the weird things that were happening replied to him. "it definitely isnt a common quirk and probably almost seem none-existant to most people, anyhow, did you bump into some unusual people or did you interact with anyone this pass hour?" recovery girl asked wanting to know the source of this incident that he had. "no, not really- wait maybe there is," midoriya suddenly remembered about the hoodied man he bumped in when he was rushing to school this morning. it was strange because the man looked like he had killed someone by accident and after that the man was on his knees apologising to midoriya, but midoriya thought it was weird how he was apologising that hard for just bumping into him, he explained this to recover girl and she smiled saying maybe he accidently used his 'fall in love' quirk on midoriya.

" so what am i supposed to do?" midoriya said remembering how he was surrounded by people when he came to school just now. "its going to be fine as long as you dont make eye contact with anyone, so use this glasess to prevent anyone from locking with your eyes and also keep in mind that most times quirks only last for a significant time, im sure nothing is going to happen in the meantime" recovery girl retorted smiling warmly.

//

oh this is not fine at all, he didnt expect the only person he didnt want to meet(or maybe not) to suddenly ripped the glasess from its rightful place, startling the poor greenette, also getting the attention from their classmates. "kacchan no, dont look at me!" midoriya quickly covered his eyes from being seen by bakugou, the person that he didnt want to interact right now, because he didnt want kacchan to feel burdened by this stupid quirk and probably even embarrassed the blonde or so he thought. he didnt think this was going to happen when bakugou didnt act out of normal and even replied with a "what, you shitty nerd, i only asked why you were wearing such shitty looking glasess and not to mention, in class?" bakugou simply replied eyeing midoriya weirdly. midoriya slowly put his hands down and immediately asked "you dont feel anything? nothing at all?" "what? no? was i supposed to?" this had midoriya taken aback, was the quirk gone completely? and so he concluded. there was no need to worry now.

but ofcourse he was dead wrong, when todoroki suddenly caught his hands, looking into the green locks and said "mi-midoriya, i dont know whats happening, but you look so pretty today," cue the gasps from the others and a pair of rageful crimson red eyes.

wait, isnt this the effects of the quirk? but why? and so being the quick witted boy he was he quickly got the glasess back and wore it, to prevent the next incident from happening. the class was still in shock by todoroki's sudden confession. midoriya had to explain the situation and so he did from the hoodied man to why were todoroki acting like that.

"oh, so you just have to wear this until the quirk wears out, is it not?" iida said after understanding the situation. todoroki was also in shock still, he understood everything. midoriya was still curious on why bakugou didnt get effected by it. "can it be?" he thought to himself, heat rushed through his face as he finds himself blushing by the thought that he had the slightest chance but was immeadiately dismissed as the other was dead on hating the poor greenette.

//

all day, todoroki followed midoriya around like a lost puppy and honestly it was cute of todoroki but what can he do, he was under the influence of a 'fall in love' quirk, so midoriya just hanged out with him all day. it was at lunch that he had noticed the anger filled eyes that was shooting daggers at the poor todoroki, he also remembered how bakugou acted today, he was awfully more explosive than ever. midoriya would caught bakugou glaring at todoroki as if he was a predator lurking for its prey not to mention he almost blew up the school's cafeteria when todoroki was trying to share his lunch with midoriya. midoriya find it totally weird as bakugou wasnt really someone who would do things like this.

//

meanwhile, bakugou cant take it anymore, he has had enough of the weird heavy feeling in his stomach that was killing him everytime he saw those two together and when he had witness the oh so loving sight infront of him, he just blew up not caring about other people and went straight to class. seeing this, midoriya chased after him and told todoroki to wait for him.

"kacchan, wait, are you okay?" midoriya said catching up his breath and took his glasses off. " what do you want, deku? go on with your todoroki," bakugou said unamused. "and what makes you say that he is 'my' todoroki," midoriya retorted with a smug face. " nothing, for the fact that you were on him 24/7 " bakugou deadpanned now looking at midoriya. "but kacchan, it hasnt even been a day, but seriously though, why are you so weird, you didnt even react to the quirk like everyone else did," midoriya stated curiously. "shut it," bakugou rolled his eyes, turning back to continue on his way. "but kacchan, you almost blew up the whole cafeteria, you surely are not okay," midoriya said still persistent as always. "none of your business, now go away and leave me alone, or i would blow you up too," bakugou stated in a warning tone but midoriya being midoriya, he caught bakugou's wrist and forced bakugou to turn, still waiting for an answer. "wha-what ?" holy shit he's close, ah those freckles looks so kissable its really adorable i cant-

"tell me whats wrong," midoriya asked again with those cute puppy eyes of his, but bakugou still did not gave in although he was almost at his limit, still pulled his hands away turning around again.

midoriya was sure he saw a faint blush crept up onto bakugou's cheeks and he was taken aback. "kacchan? hey kacchan!" midoriya called and was now infront of bakugou blocking his way. "what? go away!" bakugou glared at the smaller one. "kacchan, why are you being like this?" midoriya stated seriously this time, eyeing bakugou dead in the eye. bakugou just stayed silent but midoriya was not one to give up easily.

"kaccha-" WAIT WHAT?! midoriya was beyond shocked when bakugou suddenly pulled midoriya and connected their lips, midoriya's thought was everywhere or rather he had a few broken fuse by now. it was a sweet passionate kiss and when they parted, midoriya was stoic, standing still while looking into bakugou's eyes. "there, is that enough of an answer?" bakugou quickly went pass midoriya and straight to class. midoriya who was still frozen in his spot was soon interrupted by ochako and iida who were on their way to class. "hey deku-kun, are you okay, why are you red, do you have a fever?" "if you have a fever please go to the infirmary" they both said. "oh it's nothing, is todoroki with you guys?" deku said changing the topic. "no he was still at the cafeteria, wait midoriya did the love quirk thingy ended, because i dont feel anything now looking into your eyes" iida said and midoriya was also surprised by it. "oh yeah i guess it is gone now, and by the way i got to go to todoroki, see ya guys!"

after he got to todoroki, he was sure that the effects of the quirk had worn off and todoroki was being his usual self now and he even apologised to midoriya about his behaviour.

//

midoriya got to their class alongside todoroki, and immediately turned red when he saw bakugou and to worsen the situation, bakugou locked their eyes together resulting in a very flustered deku who then broke it and went to his seat. he hid his face and muttered stuffs under his breath but got caught off when bakugou suddenly spoke loud for the two of them to hear still looking infront "im not saying it twice, so wanna be my boyfriend?" he was acting tough but his body betrayed him, he was shaking uncontrobally and his face was nothing but red. midoriya can see the redness on bakugou's ears and had thought that it was cute. after some time that felt like hours to bakugou but in reality it was only seconds passed, midoriya replied with a faint "yes ofcourse" followed by him hiding his also flushed face with his arms.

//

"um so, wanna go to the dorms together?" bakugou suddenly said after packing up his stuffs, turning to midoriya. oh fuck why is he so cute, with that blushing face of his. "s-sure" midoriya stuttered from all the nervousness. so they went out together, hand in hand. they were silent, but the atmosphere is a comfortable one. midoriya suddenly gasped with his hand to his mouth saying "thats why the quirk didnt work isnt it?" bakugou was caught off guard, embarassed by himself. midoriya was actually beyond happy, he was over the moon, he had always thought that bakugou hated his guts so this was extremely surprising and also he was having fun teasing bakugou's new side that he just found out about. " hey kacchan" midoriya called out and bakugou looked at him. "i like you," midoriya said with a sweet smile.

BOOM! bakugou exploded, he was very flustered by the sudden confession, his face was bright red, his mind went blank and he couldnt control his quirk. "damn you nerd!" he screamed to a laughing midoriya who find his now boyfriend very cute. after laughing for a bit, he connected their hands again, tugging at a very red pomenerian to continue their way to the dorms.

that was an experience that both of them will cherish forever.

hmm i think i wanna do a bkdk headcanon after this or maybe not?

[xxconclusione-aperioxx]

Okay so I'd like to share what I commented on this video. I watched it and it sent me into a whole rant about the motives and characterization of Draco. I recommend watching before reading this:

@quinncurio is the original poster

Here's the copy paste of my comment/ Essay. I was slight heated when I wrote this, but my points still stand.

"OH BOY. HI, HELLO I VERY MUCH DISAGREE. ALSO: DISCLAIMER: DONT TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY, YOU WILL FIND I HAVE A VERY LOGICAL EXPLANATION, FOR WHY THIS ANALYSIS DOESN'T WORK.

Calling a Draco a cowardly bigoted bully, and a carbon copy of Dudley is the most SHALLOW and LOW EFFORT CONCLUSION YOU COULD POSSIBLY DRAW. IT IS LOW HANGING FRUIT. I'm going to have to break this into sections to truly explain why your conclusion is soooo incredibly shallow. You may have done your research, but I feel like you learned nothing more about Draco then if you'd never seen more then 5 min. So I'm going to start the same way you have and break this down into the same points.

PART 1 : AN ANALYSIS OF HARRY MEETING DRACO

I'm not going to go into detail of Harry's impression or ideas of Draco, because this analysis is about Draco, Not Harry. Also remember the books were written from Harry's POV, not a neutral party. I'm not obliged to Harry's opinions, just facts. Which brings up the first true conclusion about Draco's character. *Draco Malfoy feels a strong need to impress others, to gain their affection.* He does this through incisive bragging, trying to make people believe he knows best, and tearing down the reputation of others, so the object of his desires sees Draco and the most obvious choice. Where we differ is:

You believe Draco does this, because he thinks, he's better then others.

I believe,(which circumstantially has more evidence), Draco does this because he wants the affection, and acceptance of others

Whether you believe he acts out this way bc of how he is raised, his privilege, or something else, it doesn't change the fact that Draco was truly trying to make a friend, perhaps the only way he knew how.

In noble wizarding society, traditions, and your family does mean a lot. Not even looking at it from a pureblood view, imagine having a family that old and known. They really are a type of nobility, with family Lords even having political seats in the Wizengamote just because of their family name. The Longbottoms and Weaselys hold this same political influence, and it's not tied to Slytherins, pureblood ideals or anything like that. Draco is an only child, and an heir to his family line, so he is going to be treated importantly bc of that. He is raised with that responsibility, and in social situations not only represents himself, but the whole heritage of his family. Draco hasn't had the ability to act like a normal petulant child (part of the reason he tends to act out at Hogwarts.*ie. away from home*). He's been taught to act proper, make good allies, and impress others for the good of his reputation. I'd say most noble wizarding children probably get the same training and lectures, and have their own customs and culture of educate. What may come for Draco as polite, and diplomatic, may sound rude or arrogant to Harry. This is because Draco was not aware how different Harry's upbringing was from his own, and has never dealt with not having enough. Perhaps if Draco knew how different and ignorant Harry was he would have felt pity, or a sense of wrongness at Harry's injustice. Though Draco is just an 11yr old boy, who's only ever had a loving family, and almost anything he wanted. It is difficult for him to relate to the lack of others. As all wizarding children, he probably grew up with the story of the boy who lived and may have even been excited when his father said he wanted them to become friends. He truely was excited to meet Harry and genuinely wanted to be friends. While yes Lucius definitely wanted Draco to befriend Harry to help lighten their family reputation, I also think that Draco, being a child, would more likely be more excited of making a famous friend. Maybe he even had some hope seeing he'd met Harry before when he saw him on the train.

Part 2 : THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN DRACO AND DUDLEY

Draco's sense of superiority comes from his traditions and pride in his family, while Dudley's is strictly from his own greed and selfishness. Draco would't do half of the things Dudley does simply because it's incredibly unclothe, and he has better ways of getting what he wants. Dudley isn't smart enough to compare to Draco. Though Draco and Dudley might both have things handed to them, Draco is not gluttonous or greedy about it. Dudley will trash his gifts and belongings, constantly wanting more, and viewing things given to him as disposable. Draco wants things yes (like every child does) but he's proud of his possessions and cherishes them, brags about them. Dudley is an animal compared to Draco. He doesn't have the same skill, smarts or self control. Dudley is abusive, and a tyrant in his bullying. Dudley wants to see Harry hurt and bleed. He is very violent compared to Draco. While we constantly and repeatedly see Draco shy away from violence, and use more his words.

Part 3 : DRACO'S "HARASSMENT", STRATEGIES AND EVOLUTION.

Draco despite his threats and facade is Not a violent person. This is because despite all Draco's bravo, and cruel words, Draco is kind. Yes he is conflicted, but that is only more proof of his inner kindness. If he didn't feel guilty, he wouldn't feel conflicted. Which means he really doesn't want to be mean to others, but he's just acting out based on how he thinks he's supposed to feel/act, but doesn't really enjoy it. I think when you strip Draco back behind his actions, and pose, you'll find a very different person. The half-blood prince gave us some of that, but it's another thing to see it in Draco from the beginning. Essentially Draco's attempt at bullying started when Harry rejected his friendship. Draco had probably never been rejected before, and probably couldn't possibly fathom why Harry would choose anyone else over him. While yes that's a bit coincided, Draco was also incredibly sheltered and probably wasn't introduced to children who weren't already tied to his family. Harry's rejection irrevocably shattered Draco's confidence and perception, which sent him into literal years of lashing out at Harry for his hurt emotions, and pining for his attention. It is the most pathetic excuse for bullying, and Draco antagonizing Harry is the equivalent of pulling a girl's pigtails. Draco did get quite shrewd with words, but he was really just trying to get the biggest reaction, especially since Harry is so volatile at times. The truth of the matter is Draco is actually very jealous, because deep down he really admires Harry. He want's the same freedom Harry has. He doesn't want to worry about his duty or who he has to be, but to be able to live authentically the way he views that Harry does. Draco really just wants to be more like Harry, but feels he is stuck, by the Dark Lord, his family obligations or anything else. Draco isn't a bully, he's just sad. Not even Ron or Hermione take him seriously after a while. *cough*this is why Drarry is so huge*

Part 4 : He had no choice?????

Everyone has a choice, but I think you over estimate how easy a choice can be. Family is important to Draco, they are probably the only people who love him for who he is, not what they can get out of him. As a child Draco felt pride in his family, and family made him feel special and important. As he got older that pride turn into expectations, and responsibility. Lucius and Narcissa value the preservation of their family above all else. They are protective and loving and those feeling extended to Draco. It's where he gets his kindness. It is indeed a Slytherin trait to value those you care about above everyone else. We protect our own, a loyalty probably stronger then Hufflepuff for those select few a Slytherin deeply cares about. Draco's parent would let the whole world burn to save him, and Draco would do the same for them. While Draco's family did hold pureblood ideals, after the first war Voldemort was not someone they willing wanted to follow. The light sided also would have never offered aid to death eaters, because fundamentally they were still against the dark, and there was no other place for dark wizards to go except Voldemort. Most of the death eaters had actually been somewhat relived at the news of Voldemort's death, and the boy who lived, as Voldemort had already become insane to the point of torturing his own followers, and wasn't getting them anywhere near their goals. Except for the also insane brainwashed few like Bella who'd follow her lord to the grave, many of the death eater's were content to be peaceful and stay quite after the war. Probably even grateful for it, as there were many needless casualties on both sides. I feel like the Malfoys were one of those families that were happy to get out. If the side they are on is harmful or losing, they are ready to abandon ship. This may sound like they are cowardly with no resolve, but if it was the life and death of your family, and your loved ones, I think you might think differently. I feel like we aren't too far off in agreement here, but where we differ is in judgement and motives we feel the Malfoys, or Draco had. Lucius made a mistake in the first war, and spent the second trying to keep his family out of danger. I can't imagine the fear he had in Azkaban for his family, the dementors feeding off him and what he thought the Dark Lord would do to his only son, his wife, his family. Meanwhile Draco was left with the threat of his father rotting in Azkaban, and his mother being killed. His mother also with the thought of her son being killed. So yes Draco could have made a choice, and he did make a choice, a choice to protect his family, and honestly I can't see that as wrong. Maybe if Harry would have actually taken his offer of friendship things could have gone differently and it wouldn't have come to that.

Part 5 : Abuse Theory

I definitely agree with you here. The Malfoys were not abusive, and get a better anthology for racism then something which in fact could be solved with a study on culture rather then blood. If you want a good parallel for racism in HP forget muggleborns, and look at creature blood, not dumb house elfs either, but werewolves, goblins, centaurs beings just as intelligent as wizards. The bigotry towards werewolves especially is horrific, especially from the "light side" who avidly labels them as dangerous dark creatures. *Also note about the scene in Borgen and Berks* Lucius stopped Draco from touching the artifact because it was probably cursed, as many dark artifacts are. Even if you know what you're doing they can be dangerous to handle carelessly. So Lucius was actually very wise and protecting Draco, his 12 yr old son, from getting badly hurt. Why the cane? If touching a cursed object curses you, then its better not to get close with your actual hands. Using his cane to push Draco away was actually a precaution. Lucius is anything but careless,

Part 6: Draco's Wand and Symbolism

I generally agree here too, but I believe this symbolism is more reflective of the things Draco wishes he could have had, or done differently. If anything the wand and symbolism Draco has is representative of the good in him, and not cowardice, or inability to do enough.

Part 7: Redemption

Tbh I'm part of the crowd that would have liked that deleted scene to stay in the final cut. However I understand what's justifiable for one person, may not be enough for someone else. This is where you get more into the topic of morality, and how much are you morally responsible for as a person. Harry has been drilled with the mindset for years that he has to save everyone, and that if your not in it for the greater good, ready to lay down your life you better forget being in it at all. Personally I don't believe Harry has any right to claim that rhetoric, as Dumbledore(and by association Grindlewald) practically spoon fed it down his throat; but I wont talk about that as it's a whole other issue. Draco, you have to understand has a whole type of different morality. Objectively I believe he's a good person, if not pressured by the echo chamber of ideals around him. Yet Draco repeatedly gives signs, and expresses the desire to want to do good. In order to properly analyze Draco you have to look past his outward facade, and actions, or you'll never see him as anything more then he pretends to be. If you can only read plain text, if you can't see past the obvious, you will always have a very flat one dimensional view of a character or a person. To me there's no redemption needed. Draco is already good, more good then his parents, and perhaps more good then some who claim goodness.

In summary Draco is a very complex person, who tries to over compensate for his flaws, struggles to express honesty, but deeply cares for others, especially his family. His duality lies in how he wants to be good to others, yet how in the end he always chooses to save the ones he loves, over the majority. Draco will always have his flaws, but he will always have his goodness too, and I hope you won't disregard that.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

P.S

Kudos to anyone who read through all that.

[lov3nerdstuff]

There's always tomorrow

* Tom Hiddleston x reader * -> friendship/platonic

Parts: Oneshot

Words: 6.6k

Warnings: Tom’s a teacher and you’re a student, but you’re just friends!

Summary: You are a brilliant student, in your last year of high school, but you don't have any friends but your books. Thus you secretly spend your lunch breaks alone in a forbidden hallway, until one certain teacher takes notice of you. Yet he doesn't kick you out and instead sits down with you to talk. Soon you find that sometimes, the most unlikely friendships are the best ones indeed.

Request: Hi! I dont want to be a bother but i have a fic idea I would love to see your take on since your such an amazing writer. Here's the idea: tom works as a teacher in high school and R is this shy and introverted student who doesn't have many friends and she always sits alone and reads at lunch so tom decides to sit with her and they developed some kind of friendship? Just platonic since I imagine the R underage but I would love whatever you decide💜💙💚 -> @lady-of-lies (hope you like this, dear 💗✨)

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It was Friday. Thanks goodness that at least this purgatory of a week was slowly coming to an end. It wasn't like you didn't enjoy going to school, really… You loved learning, loved the pleasures of knowledge with a burning passion. And that exactly was the problem. You loved learning, while almost everyone else in your grade just thought of school as a menace that would finally be over in a few months. They deemed you weird, for studying hard, for getting good grades, for enjoying it.

To you, the only two problems in high school were, one, that you had absolutely no friend and thus spent most time by yourself, and two, that they didn't nearly teach you enough and thus left you bored and done with your tasks after five minutes of class.

In perspective, the second problem bothered you way more than the first one. Not having friends was fine, you weren't the boldest person anyway, finding yourself uncomfortable in social situations more often than not. Thus you were left only talking to your classmates when you really had to, finding no interest in those dull creatures outside of the occasional mandatory group project. They were all about partying, gossiping, who had been sleeping with whom… You found no remote interest in that. There were more important things to talk about, more meaningful conversations to be had, and as long as no one was able to give you just that you were fine not talking at all.

So on this Friday noon, just like every day since you had started going to this school last year, you found yourself sitting on the ground in a small hallway at lunchtime, equipped with a book and a sandwich and an apple you'd brought from home. Sure, you could've just taken a seat in the cafeteria… your life wasn't a movie, there were no bullies and cheerleaders, no inseparable groups of friends who excluded everyone, no real need to sit alone on the ground.

But you cherished this time of solitude, of being in the solemn company of the only sane person in this building: yourself. That is also why you had chosen the most desolate part of the entire school to have your lunch by yourself. Usually no one showed up here, in the backstage area of the large auditorium that was occasionally used for the drama and literature classes.

Really, most students didn't even seem to know that this part of school existed in the first place. It was a tiny world in itself, only a couple hallways with storage rooms and workshops and such. Only accessible through a small door in the back of the auditorium, which to be honest you weren't supposed to go into by yourself. But for the one year you'd been going to this school, you had not run into anyone at all while coming here every single day at lunch.

Smiling contently to yourself, you took a bite of your sandwich and allowed yourself a break from existence by letting your book swallow you into its comforting world of imagination.

You were granted exactly thirty minutes of silence and solitude before gente yet swift footsteps drew your mind back to the real world, immediately instilling a sense of panic in your mind. The automatic lights flickered to life once the cause of the noise walked into your part of the hallway and your eyes narrowed at the sudden brightness. Oh no… being caught here would only mean trouble, and you seriously weren't in the mood for that, not when you had only a few more classes left. Yet, panic and fear made you unable to move, working against the natural instinct of flight. All you could do was watch the approaching figure with wide eyes, fingers tightly gripping onto the book in your lap.

"You're not supposed to be in here, are you?" A smooth voice spoke to you, finally making you snap out of your frozen stare. The man currently standing in front of you didn't look like a teacher at all… but you'd seen him in the hallways between classes a few times. You didn't know his name, nor what he taught.

"I…" You started, wide eyes fixed on his as you felt incredibly small. He was tall, REALLY tall, intimidating since you were cowering on the ground, staring up at him like he was some ethereal creature, a manifestation of universal goodness. And he was smiling at you kindly with a subtle hint of amusement.

"You…?" He spoke again, and his curls seemed to form a halo of light around his head as they glowed in the brightness of the overhead lamps.

"I'm not supposed to be in here." You simply said.

"And yet you are." He chuckled, frowning at you a little. "How did you even get in here?"

"There's a door. One can walk through it." You blurted out without thinking, confusion and panic making your mind dizzy.

The man in front of you let out an obviously unintentional snort, before biting his bottom lip to keep from laughing and continue to look somewhat stern at you. It wasn't working all too well. "Thank you for the information, I was well aware of the door indeed. What I was wondering about was what made you walk through that door today."

"Habit?" You tried, still not averting your eyes from his as you felt utterly unable to rise to your feet.

"And before you made a habit of coming here?"

"An inherently curious nature?" You replied in the same uncertain voice.

The man just smiled down at you in the most amused expression you had seen all week, crossing his arms in front of his chest as if debating with himself what to do or ask next.

"How long have you been coming here?" He finally asked, more curious than scolding really.

"A little over a year." You admitted, blushing a deep shade of crimson as you looked back down to the book in your lap. Darn, you really couldn't have told him that. But you found it somehow impossible to lie to him, even if you didn't yet know who he was.

"And you've never run into anyone telling you that it's not allowed for students to be back here?" He frowned, moving to lean against the wall opposite to you and that at least made him seem a little less towering, but no less ethereal.

"I've never run into anyone back here at all." You shrugged, feeling a little less panicked now that there were a few feet between you. "That's the point of me being here in the first place."

"To hide?"

"To find solitude in this chaotic place of inevitable social and intellectual boredom." You replied quickly, once more before thinking. Yet once you realized what you'd just said you started apologizing immediately. "Sorry! I… I didn't mean… It's just..."

"No, it's fine. I think I know what you mean." He mused, shrugging. "Most students don't take interest in their classes, at least not in high school."

"See, that's not what I meant at all." You sighed, frowning to yourself. Should you really be having this conversation with a teacher? You were probably boring his mind out, but he'd asked after all and as long as he wasn't making you return to the busy school hallways you'd be good talking to him here.

So you crossed your legs beneath yourself and placed your book on your backpack. "I find great interest in most of my classes' topics. I love delving into the gain of knowledge, broadening my horizon in a way. In any way, really. But you see, most classes have a rather shallow approach to their contents. I do see that it's not entirely possible to make the classes any more in-depth, as most people will struggle to even understand the basic concepts… But if the students are expected to understand and accept that classes are made for the majority of people, not for the marginal groups, I also expected the teachers to understand that I will feel bored after having understood the lessons' content after two minutes, if I didn't know it even before class time started in the first place."

Once you were finished with your little rant, the man looked at you in sincere surprise for a moment, but you were honestly so surprised with yourself that you found yourself blushing all the more, and looking back down to the ground. "Sorry, I really shouldn't have said that…"

"Don't apologise for having an opinion." He replied calmly, encouragingly almost. "You have every right to say what you think, especially since I asked about it. I'm just a little surprised, that is all."

You peaked back up at him carefully, doubtful of what he must be thinking of you now. Honestly, you weren't someone to ever talk to a teacher this rudely. You would think to yourself how ridiculous the mistakes were that they were making most of the time, but you would keep it solemnly to yourself.

"So you're coming here to read during the lunch break?" He asked after a moment of silence, drawing you back from your troubled thoughts.

"Yeah." You replied softly, finding it oddly easy and pleasant to talk to him.

"Shouldn't you be sitting in the cafeteria with your friends? Spending a little time with your classmates away from studying?" He inquired further and you found yourself inclined to answer.

"No, I'm fairly good on my own. I can't really find any interest in their conversations and I'd rather spend my energy reading than pretending to care. And I'm not studying, just reading for fun." You gave him a half smile, watching how he casually leaned against the wall with a curious expression.

"You're reading Hamlet for fun?" He rose an eyebrow at you in amusement. "Not that I'd be judging…"

"Yes...?" You gave back reluctantly. "Isn't that something normal people do? Consuming literature for the sake of entertainment?"

"They do, but I'm afraid most people wouldn't deem Shakespeare very entertaining." He laughed, shaking his head to himself and you blushed again, looking at your book and then at your feet, which felt increasingly numb from being crossed for too long.

"Sorry, I really didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." He said quickly, without the previous amusement. "I love Shakespeare too, his works are truly remarkable. The way he revolutionized the use of language…"

"I know! I love all the small neologisms that we don't even notice today because our modern words are based on them. Reading his works is so much fun in its entirety, both for the content and the art of wording itself!" You said excitedly, yet again feeling your cheeks heat up at the rather passionate outburst. "Sorry, that was just me geeking out a little…"

He smiled widely at that, then frowned a little. "Why aren't you taking literature classes?"

"How do you know I don't?" You asked right back.

"Because I teach them all." He laughed, still trying to keep from smiling all too brightly. "I would know if you were in any of my classes. I teach literature, English and drama, even though most people don't believe those are separate classes."

"Oh, so that's why I don't know you…" You mused, chewing on your bottom lip. "I switched schools before the beginning of last year, so I've only been here a year and the little bit of this started one… But I won't be here for much longer."

"Why not?"

"It's my last year." You smiled with a sigh. "I'm looking forward to a challenge, for once, when I go to college."

"And that keeps you from taking my literature class?" He asked with a small smile.

"Of course not…" You shook your head, blushing yet again. The reason why you hadn't taken literature indeed wasn't really something you wanted to share with him.

"Anyway, I'm Mr. Hiddleston. Since we've not had the pleasure before..." He said lightly, obviously noticing your discomfort with the previous question and you were beyond thankful that he'd let it go.

"I'm Y/n." You gave him a small smile in return. "Nice to meet you. I think I've actually heard about you before."

"You have?" He laughed, eyes bright and curious and you felt yourself blushing yet again. Couldn't you keep your stupid mouth shut?

"Uuh, I've just overhead a few classmates talking about your English class, I think…" You finally managed to say, and given that it was the truth you felt a little less embarrassed.

"Well, I hope you've only heard good things then." He smiled and for a moment you looked at each other in complete uncertainty of what to say. "Lunch break is almost over…" He finally commented, looking at his watch with a frown.

"Too bad." You sighed, packing up your empty lunchbox and your book. "Lunch is my favorite subject. It's usually more productive than any of my classes."

He laughed at that, shaking his head to himself as he stood upright once again. "I'm sorry for interrupting your reading time with my questions."

"Please don't be, I enjoyed talking to you. It was nice not being alone for once. Which admittedly is a rare thing for me." Your mouth was faster than your brain again, and you felt flustered but frowned a little nonetheless as you rose to your feet. "I mean… wouldn't you have kicked me out anyway? I mean students aren't allowed to be in here."

"Students aren't allowed to be in here ALONE. You weren't alone. I was here. Don't see a problem." He smiled easily as you both sauntered towards the exit and through the auditorium. Why was he being so nice to you? Usually teachers didn't miss any opportunity to demonstrate their power over the students, leave alone talk to them if they didn't have to… Mr. Hiddleston was different. A good different, you thought.

"Y/n…" He said as you both stepped back into the main hallway. "I must inform you that you may not go back in there by yourself, and so on and so forth. Do you understand?"

"I do understand, but I cannot promise you that I will listen to it." You said sincerely, surprised yet again at your honesty. What by all gods were you even doing here, talking to a teacher like that?

He suppressed another grin, looking at the ground for a short moment before his eyes were back with yours. "Have a lovely weekend. I'll see you on Monday." With one last amused smile he turned around and sauntered down the hallway, probably heading to his next class while you were left frowning to yourself as you went on to yours. Only in the middle of class your mind suddenly hit the pause button for the outside world: why would he see you on Monday?

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The weekend went by in a blur, you finished Hamlet and another random book and sooner than expected it was Monday morning. But really… Monday always came sooner than expected. Equipped with a new read you went on to school, suffering through the first few classes. If only they would at least try to make things interesting… you'd asked for some further tasks once you'd been done early yet again, but the answer was always the same: be happy that you're done and stay at your seat in silence. No reading, no phone, no drawing… nothing but sitting and staring out of the window.

However during the last class before lunch, you honestly wished yourself back to staring out of the window. It was history, a subject you actually did find interest in as it served as a good basis for many other things (like literature, music, arts, sociology…). Unfortunately today it was time for yet another group project, making you feel sick almost immediately. You just hated group projects… they always ended up the same: you had to do all the work by yourself and the others got credit for it. And that already was the best outcome of all possible scenarios.

Again, it was the same old. People had formed groups already, and as always no one wanted to work with you (stupid of them, you thought… they weren't even smart enough to see that you could, and would, help them to a better grade). But unlike the other times, your teacher was having enough of your suggestion to just work by yourself and forced you upon a group of three people, who all seemed to despise the idea just as much as you did. Once class was over, you quickly packed up your things and made for the door as quickly as possible. Unfortunately you didn't get all too far before the voices of your new group members reached your ears, bearing the usual insults and complaints which could be accurately summed up as 'Fuck off Y/n'.

God, why did people have to be so cruel… You hadn't done anything at all but getting good grades without much effort. How was that supposed to be your fault? It wasn't like you had chosen to be this way really…

Feeling equally sad and angry you made your way towards the auditorium, crossing it with quick steps and walking through the backdoor into your own realm of solitude. With a long sigh you carelessly dropped your backpack on the floor and sat down next to it, hugging your knees to your chest. You didn't want to cry, really… only sulk in peace. And sulking you did, for exactly thirty minutes until you heard the now familiar footsteps approaching you.

"I know, I'm not supposed to be here." You groaned, hiding your face as you rested your forehead on your knees. "Just tell me to go and we'll get it over with."

"Why would I tell you to go?" Mr. Hiddleston's calm voice wrapped around your troubled mind like a liquid soothing cold applied to a scorching burn.

"Because it's what teachers do." You sighed to yourself, still not looking at him. "You make life insufferable as a hobby."

"Now, I think you're doing me injustice." He spoke with a smile that you could clearly hear in his voice. "I didn't come here to make you leave."

Now you finally lifted your head and looked at the man standing on the opposite wall. As your eyes met his, he offered you a kind smile. "May I?" He motioning to the space on the ground opposite to you.

You nodded. Whatever reason he had to spend his precious lunch time with you, you were honestly glad for some NICE company for once. Really, you didn't even know him all that well, he was still a teacher after all, but his presence was calming and he was interesting enough of a person to talk to. You couldn't predict a single thing he did or said, and that intrigued you. He seemed like a man with a brain.

"I'm sorry." You finally said, resting your chin on your knees and blushing ever so slightly as your mind allowed other emotions than sadness and anger. "I insulted your profession, that wasn't right. Being mad at individuals doesn't justify generalization, nor impoliteness."

"Very true indeed. And I accept your apology, we all have a bad day sometimes. Also, I unintentionally insulted you on Friday, so I think we're even now." He replied in the same calm his features showed as he rested his forearms on his propped up knees.

"You insulted me?" You frowned, voice small and reflecting your tiredness. "I hadn't noticed."

"I assumed you were an average student. Lazy, shallow, indifferent." He shrugged and your lips formed the tiniest of smiles. "We all have prejudices, Y/n… Classification is natural thing. However what defines us as a person is how we let those prejudices affect our behavior and how aware we are of having them in the first place."

You sighed, nodding in agreement. "You're right… I still didn't mean to behave so hostile."

"Defense and coping mechanisms." He replied with a half smile. "You were clearly hurt by something or someone and thus lashed out at the weakest subject in reach, in this case... me. It's not rocket science really… I understand. We're all good."

You couldn't help but frown at the man in front of you. He was smarter than any of your other teachers and it left you wondering why someone like him would be sitting on the floor with a student. Yet, questioning him would've been just rude and thus you decided on finding out when the time had come.

"What's gotten you so upset, if I may ask?" He inquired politely, leaning his head against the wall as he watched you curiously.

"You know Miss Jones, right?" You sighed, mirroring his sitting position more or less intentionally. "She forced me to work on a project with people who absolutely despise me to their very core."

"I can hardly believe that someone would actually despise you." He replied, frowning a little. "You seem like a very capable young woman, I would have assumed people wanting to work with you were piling up on your doorstep."

You smiled sadly, somewhat flattered by the subtle compliment. "Well, then you assumed wrong. To me at least 'go work alone if you're so smart' doesn't really sound like people want to work with me. Neither does the ever so charming 'fuck off nerd'..."

"People really say that to you?" He frowned deeply, an almost sad expression making his sharp jawline stand out even more.

"All the time, actually…" You sighed, playing with the loose strings of your ripped jeans. "It's not that bad really. They can't hurt me anymore. I'm only so upset because I would have preferred to work alone."

"And Miss Jones wouldn't let you?"

"No… She said it was an important part of my education to learn to work with other people. Which is just ironic if you ask me…"

"Why is it ironic?" He asked curiously, obviously interested in your thoughts for real and not just out of politeness. That actually felt nice… not even your parents were SERIOUSLY interested in your opinion on things.

"It's ironic because I enjoy working with people, I'm good at it even. But I refuse to believe that working with people who put in zero effort and who don't own a single shred of basic human decency is 'preparing me for a realistic work environment'." You snorted, shaking your head at the stupid remark your teacher had given you. "I expect my equals to meet me with respect when working, even if we don't get along personally. Or at least to care about the project."

"I think you're right to do so." He shrugged. "I mean as a teacher I'm supposed to tell you now how valuable this experience is, and how you should try to work through your differences with your group, or even motivate you to find friends and such, but honestly… I totally agree with you. They're indifferent idiots, likely to maybe get a minor degree and eventually end up as chess pieces to brilliant minds like yours."

You rose an eyebrow at his comment, unable to keep the small smirk off your lips. "Well, that was honest."

He returned a slightly flustered smile, shrugging yet again. "You were honest with me and I intend to return the favor. I'm not your teacher after all, only A teacher."

"True." You smiled back. "And since the school year is already a few weeks in, it's safe to say that you won't ever be."

"I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing…" He mused, frowning to himself in contemplation. "I think I would've enjoyed hearing your thoughts and opinions in class."

"I would say it's a very good thing indeed!" You replied immediately. "The confinements of a classroom, of a predetermined social structure are rather counterproductive for a valuable conversation. I don't think we could, or would be talking like this if I was in your classes indeed. And you can always hear my thoughts and opinions… You do right now, after all."

"Okay, you convinced me. It is a good thing we met like this. Even though you probably don't enjoy me intruding the solitude of your lunch break." He chuckled, stretching out his incredibly long legs across the hallway to sit more comfortably.

"Oh, I don't mind at all! I mean I don't understand why you would willingly spend your time with me back here, but I most certainly appreciate the company. Most people don't really bother talking to me… it's nice having some who understands what I'm saying for once." You smiled, feeling both flustered and flattered. Having him here with you was nice indeed… it made you feel less lonely, less like you were the only one of your kind.

"Honestly, I thought I was here because I couldn't let you be back here alone, because of the rules. But I reconsidered that, and now I assume I'm here simply because I don't want you to be alone, to feel alone. And I find myself enjoying your company." He smiled calmly, and you were honestly surprised that you didn't feel flustered. Only… happy.

"I enjoy your company too..." You gave him another half smile, your voice quiet but certain.

"Whew, what a relief!" He laughed, smiling at you in sincere amusement, maybe even a little irony. "Even though I disturbed your reading time?"

"Yeah… you cheered me up, after all." You chuckled too, finding that you relaxed more and more in the time you spent with him.

"Good." He said contently. "Not feeling sad about the group project and your classmates anymore?"

"Nope. Only annoyed, honestly… I don't want them to ruin my good grade." You shrugged, pausing for a second before you spoke on. "That must sound really arrogant of me to say… I'm sorry."

"It's not arrogant at all. I understand you, more than you realize probably. I used to be like that in school too, you know… It's not easy. And I can't promise you anything, but for me at least things got better in college." His voice was so encouraging and kind that you found yourself feeling surprisingly calm, content even.

"Thank you." You smiled, openly and honestly. "For being here, and talking to me… For everything, I guess."

"You're always welcome." He smiled back, sighing. Only when he looked at his watch, his eyes widened and his lips parted in surprise. "Fuck… class time started ten minutes ago!"

"Oh no…" You groaned in as little despair as possible. "I'm so sorry!"

"Nonsense, you don't have to be sorry!" He replied as you both hurriedly rose to your feet and made for the exit. "Time flies when you're having fun..."

"I hope Mr. Peterson doesn't kill me for being late…" You mused as you stepped into the hallway.

"Math or physics?" He asked with the ever present curiosity that by now reminded you so much of your own that you couldn't help but smile.

"Math." You sighed. "I hate being late, even though I know most of the things we're talking about already."

"I'm gonna show you to your class."

"You really don't have to, I mean I'm sure you have a class to attend to yourself…"

"Nah, it's alright. I'll be in less trouble than you, so the least I can do now is apologizing to Mr. Peterson for causing you to be late."

With that you both quickly made your way to your classroom, your skin prickling in both anxiety and excitement. And indeed, as you opened the door and quickly made for your seat with a deep crimson on your cheeks, you saw Mr. Hiddleston moving to say a few quiet words to your maths teacher before turning back around to leave, giving you a very subtle thumbs up and a small smile before disappearing out of the door.

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For the remainder of the week and also the next two, Mr. Hiddleston would come by for the last ten minutes of your lunch break, sitting down with you in the hallway of your secret backstage world. You'd talk about your classes, his classes, the books you were reading… all kinds of things really, and you found yourself enjoying those conversations immensely. He was such an interesting person, a bright and brilliant mind full of ideas and fascinating thoughts, and somehow he seemed to see something similar in you.

However after three weeks of coming by only for the last bit of your break, something started to change. Every day, he would come a little earlier while you were actually waiting for him from the very first moment. Somehow this lunch break ritual had become your solemn reason to look forward to every new day, and you couldn't really bring yourself to mind it at all.

Eventually, after a while of him showing up earlier and earlier, he arrived mere minutes after you did and you spent the entire break talking about absolutely everything that came to your minds. Maybe it was due to your meeting space, or maybe due to whatever else, but somehow both of you seemed to grow increasingly fond of each other while growing increasingly less aware of the fact that you were still teacher and student. But it didn't matter, as long as you were just two people enjoying talking to each other. Some days you would be talking the entire time, some days he would bring a book and you'd both read together in comfortable silence, sitting across from each other in the hallway.

You talked about literature quite a lot, and about philosophy and society… each conversation as meaningful and yet as entertaining and light as you could only wish for.

Things were going really well, and by the time the Christmas break rolled around, you were certain that you had finally found one true friend in school, and in general. Even if he was a teacher and probably about twenty years older than you, but you honestly couldn't bring yourself to care.

On Wednesday night before the Christmas break, you finally decided that you would at least try to make a small attempt at showing him how much you appreciated your time together, how much you'd grown to value your friendship (even though you found yourself wondering if HE would consider you a friend in return). You wanted to give him a Christmas present. Nothing extraordinary, or special… only something he would appreciate.

What did he enjoy most? Literature, most definitely. Discussions, thoughts, emotions... You'd grown to know him quite well by now, to know some of the depths of his mind. But you also knew that he already owned probably every single piece of literature you could offer him. Maybe… no, that probably was just silly, wasn't it? But really… was it? The idea definitely stayed with you, and on Thursday morning you just followed instinct and went along with it.

When you dropped down in your hallway, placing your backpack next to you, you could already hear the door being opened and the same familiar footsteps approaching.

"Hey Y/n..." He greeted you with a smile, walking down the short hallway towards you. "How was art class?"

"Gosh, I think that the teacher forgets sometimes that we're adults too. She made us craft Christmas cards for our families… Maybe someone should tell her that in modern times, families expect good grades and perfect college applications for Christmas." You snorted, watching how he sat down in his usual place opposite from you with a small grin.

"I don't think your family has anything to worry about." He chuckled, looking at you with a sparkle in his eyes that didn't cease to amaze you.

"Yeah, I have my application written already." You chuckled, smirking at him in amusement.

"You never told me where you want to apply…"

"Cambridge." You shrugged, smiling. "It's one of the best universities in the world. Really hard to get into."

"I'm sure you will get in with ease." He sighed. "If they spend a single minute talking to you, they will know just how extraordinary you are. Brilliant, really."

"You flatter me way too much." You chuckled, shaking your head. "Anyway…" With that you opened your backpack and pulled out a medium sized box, opening the lid with a grin to reveal a bright bunch of baked goods. "I made cookies yesterday afternoon!"

"Those look really tasty." He smiled. "What would Christmas be without some biscuits?"

"These are cookies! That's different." You laughed, knowing full well that he knew the difference indeed. He enjoyed teasing you way too much, but honestly… you enjoyed it too. "Come here now and try one, at least!"

His eyes widened a tiny bit, and he looked rather reluctant for a short moment, before pointing to the space next to you on the ground with a small gesture. "You… Uh, may I?"

"Of course." You replied calmly, with a bright smile, and a moment later he was sitting next to you, looking the tiniest bit flustered but content.

"I didn't know if it would make you uncomfortable to sit next to me." He shrugged a little, taking one of the cookies out of the box you were holding out to him.

"I'm not uncomfortable at all! I actually…" You felt your cheeks heat up for the first time in weeks while talking to him, and it made you stop in your sentence.

"You what?" He asked calmly, encouragingly and with the kindest expression as he leaned his head against the wall behind you, looking at you in curiosity.

"I consider you my friend." You finally brought out, feeling a little more embarrassed than you would've liked. Maybe he would think you're silly now, but just like you had noticed on the very first day… you couldn't lie to him.

"And that's making you blush?" He inquired in amusement.

"Well, I feel a little silly for expecting you, for wishing for you to befriend me too." You shrugged. "I'm sure you have more interesting acquaintances than me."

"I consider you to be my friend, Y/n…" He replied calmly. "I wouldn't be sitting here with you every day if I didn't."

You inevitably had to smile at that, looking down at the cookies in your lap. "Having a friend is amazing… Even if our friendship is a little…"

"Unusual?"

"Unlikely." You chuckled. "But no less real."

"Well… cheers to true words." He laughed, picking up another cookie from the box and happily munching away on it.

Slowly the box with the cookies grew emptier as the lunch break progressed, both of you talking about your plans for the Christmas holidays. Only when it was time for both of you to go back to your classes, when he moved to rise to his feet, you stopped him.

"Wait a second, I… I have something for you. A Christmas present, of sorts." You smiled, putting the empty cookie box into your backpack and instead taking out a neatly wrapped present. "It's really nothing special, but I thought you might find some joy in it."

His eyes lit up ever so slightly as he took the small gift out of your hands, gently, looking down at it with a soft smile. "I… thank you. Would you prefer me to open it now or on Christmas?"

"Oh, I really don't mind whatever you choose. You can just go ahead and open it, really… Like I said, it's nothing special."

"It is special to me, just because it is a gift from you." He gave you a sincere, wider smile before looking back at the present in his lap. "I'll open it now."

Carefully he unwrapped it and his smile broadened even more as his eyes fell upon the book in his hands.

"I know, giving a book to a literature teacher isn't the most creative idea, and I'm most certain that you have read it already, as it's truly amazing, but… literature just is what you love most. And you always seemed to enjoy my thoughts and ideas and random snippets of information." You spoke before he could. "So… I'm giving you my own copy of High-Rise, as it's one of my absolute favorites. I annotated it, put some papers and sticky notes in between the pages… with every thought and idea I had, every connection I could draw and every oh so little snippet of my thoughts."

The way he smiled at you then reminded you of the first day you had met… he was this ethereal creature, a being made of bright light and warmth. And more intelligence than healthy, probably.

"It's one of my all time favorites too." He replied quietly, yet with so much adoration and happiness that you couldn't help but grin. "This is one of the most amazing presents anyone has ever given to me and I cannot thank you enough."

"You're very welcome." You replied happily. "I hope you enjoy my thoughts."

"I know I will." He turned to you, smiling. "But unfortunately, very unfortunately, we have to go to class now."

"There's always tomorrow." You smiled as both of you rose to your feet, making your way to class indeed.

When you sat down in your hallway on Friday noon, you honestly felt sad that this would be the last day for two weeks you got to talk to Mr. Hiddleston. Not only because he was your (only) friend, but also because he, and your conversations, really were the only things that were able to keep your mind entertained and busy. You'd miss him.

Yet once he showed up and you got talking, you quickly felt a lot better. Just like you always did. Finally, shortly before classes started and you would have to say goodbye to each other, he placed a small and neatly wrapped gift in your lap with a bright smile. “I thought I’d return the favor… Your present really did make me very happy and I dearly hope this will do the same for you.”

Your eyes widened a little and your slips formed a smile on their own account. "Thank you so much! That's very sweet of you, but you really didn't have to…"

"Oh, I wanted to give this to you anyway. I had planned it for a while now, but your present yesterday… made me reconsider yet again." He grinned. "Do open it, please."

With an excited smile you unwrapped your present, also finding a book, but one you hadn't read yet. That alone made you grin; of course he would give you a book too… You loved literature after all probably just as much as he did.

"This is another one of my favorites…" He smiled, sitting next to you once more. Even without the cookies, somehow you'd just sat down next to each other today without questioning it. "The Night Manager… It's a fascinating read, John le Carré has an amazing style of writing. Have you read it?"

"I actually haven't, no… but I will after Christmas break!" You smirked.

"I planned on giving you this book just like that, but I absolutely loved your idea… So here's my own, annotated version." He smiled brightly. "I've had it since college."

You flipped open the first page, careful not to lose any of the papers tugged into the book. Then you smiled so bright that no Christmas lights could have compared to you. On the first page it read 'To Y/n, in hopes that we will continue to have these conversations in person for many years to come. Your friend, Tom.'

______________________________

General tag list:

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[megashadowdragon]

on lukes moment of weakness and how it is fitting for luke  among other comments

Personally I TOTALLY believe that George's Luke would have been VERY similarly to Rian's Luke.

And here is the reason why.... Luke has almost always been George's insert (lucas pronunced luke S )  and it makes total sense for Luke to be "exiled" and secluded away just as George became with Star Wars after the backlash of the prequels. But at the end of it, he comes back and stands up for what makes Star Wars what it is. Which is what Luke does for the Jedi and themes of Star Wars by the end of TLJ. He has learned from his mistakes, atoned for them, found redemption, confronted those he has failed, inspired hope, and learned to show compassion once again.

Now while George may have done it differently, I do believe that Luke being in exile was a metaphor for George's own relationship with Star Wars and its fandom.

www . reddit . com/r/StarWars/comments/ebb4f3/lukes_momentaneous_thought_of_killing_ben_solo/

I know I'm stepping on dangerous territory here by talking about The Last Jedi, and I only do this because I think this is an interesting take on a key moment of the movie. Just bear in mind that I do not intend to make my point-of-view the absolute truth of it. After all, this is just my opinion.

We all know very well how divisive Episode VIII was, with many people pationately hating that movie. One of the main reasons of complaint is the fact Luke Skywalker had attempted to kill his apprentice and nephew, Ben Solo, because he sensed the Dark Side to be too strong in the latter. Luke Skywalker, the only person in the entire galaxy that saw there was still light in Darth Vader, tried to kill his relative. When even Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda had lost all hope Anakin could be saved, Luke helped putting him on the path of redemption, helping Vader turn back to the Light and fulfill the prophecy of the Chosen One. It seems to be an insult that this same character gave up on his nephew so easily and tried to kill him.

I believe things must be analyzed more carefully.

I've just finished marathoning the Skywalker Saga (by the way, I STRONGLY recommend the Ersnt Rister order: IV-V-I-II-III-VI) and noticed something very interesting while watching Return Of The Jedi.

During the final moments of Luke and Vader's duel aboard the Death Star II, we see the young Jedi Knight wants to avoid fighting his father so as not to fall in the trecharous web of Palpatine, who wants to turn the young Skywalker to the Dark Side. Luke is hiding beneath the Emperor's throne. Vader chases him and, through the Force, reads Luke's thoughts to lure him into confrontation:

You cannot hide forever, Luke. Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for... sister! So, you have a twin sister!

In this moment, we see Luke's face and he's completely terrified by the idea Darth Vader found out about his sister. It is something new and Luke fears for Leia's well-being. Also, we hear from Vader's words that he cares a lot about his friends, the people he loves. Vader continues:

Your feelings have now betrayed her too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the Dark Side, THEN PERHAPS SHE WILL!

Now we have something different. Since he was brought before the Emperor, Luke had been constatly confronted by Palpatine and Vader with the idea of him turning to the Dark Side. When Vader talks about the possibility of that happening to Leia, it's not a threat directed to him, but to someone he loves. In this moment, Luke loses it completly and attacks Vader viciously, totally enraged. The Sith Lord can't stand the power of his son, fuelled by hate and falls to the ground, defeated. In this moment Luke is prepared to make the final blow, but then he hears Palpatine laughing and clapping. This makes him go back to his senses and realize what he's been doing. He then turns off his lightsaber and refuses to kill his father.

"I'm a Jedi, like my father before me" and so on... we know what happens, so let's fast-forward to The Last Jedi.

When Luke is confronted by Rey, who demands him to tell what had happened between him and Kylo Ren, we learn how things unfolded through Luke's perspective:

I saw darkness. I sensed it building in him. I'd seen it in moments during his training. But then I looked inside, and it was beyond what I ever imagined.

In this moment of the flashback we see Luke's hand reaching out to his lightsaber, almost unconsciously. He then proceeds:

. He would bring destruction and pain and death, AND THE END OF EVERYTHING I LOVE BECAUSE OF WHAT HE WILL BECOME, AND FOR THE BRIEFEST MOMENT OF PURE INSTINCT, I THOUGHT I COULD STOP IT.

Here it is again. Like in Episode VI, we see Luke reacting in a similar way by the notion of something posing a threat not to him, but to the people he loves and cares about. Luke feared Ben would destroy everything he cherished, just like Vader had threatened by turning Leia to the dark. And, just like in the OT, it was a passing shadow:

It passed like a fleeting shadow, and I was left with shame and with consequence. And the last thing I saw were the eyes of a frightened boy whose Master had failed him.

I've already written way more than I expected, so I'll just conclude here. I've realized the act Luke commits in the Sequels is the same (or at least VERY similar) as from the OT: he attempted to kill Vader then his nephew, out of fear of seeing what/who he loved destroyed. He repented and managed to stop himself in the act in both situations. And he was ashamed. So, at least regarding this point of the movie, I see the same Luke Skywalker.

(luke had more to lose now then he did before 

another example which I saw dont remember where I saw it  but I saved the comments unfortunately I didnt put in the links:

edit: (now I remember www . reddit . com/r/StarWars/comments/9a3hdl/)

Luke considered killing Ben for about two seconds in a vulnerable moment

Sort of like he almost got baited into killing Vader by a few mocking words, and cut the hand off his own father in blind rage.

Luke is still just a person. If we've learned anything in Star Wars it's that the Jedi are not superhuman paragons of virtue and perfection, no matter how they might appear to the unwashed masses in the SW universe. They have the same flaws, temptations, failures, etc as anyone else. Yes the Force can help them overcome some of this, but they're far from perfect. Luke could have, and I agree should have grown in a positive way, but it's not impossible or even unbelievable that he didn't. He just had his life's labor wiped out in front of him and blamed himself for it. All those years of finding lost Jedi knowledge and artifacts, being what he believed to be the last Jedi in the universe with the responsibility to restart the order on his shoulders alone. All those lives that he took under his protection and guidance as the Master of the new order, wiped out in one night. Because of him (at least in his mind). Everything he was working towards for years just totally undone in a few hours and it was all his fault.

So he leaves and says fuck the whole lot of it. He lives by himself, stews in his misery and regret, retreats into himself and rejects the most foundational principle of the whole concept of being a Jedi: to help people. He's the most powerful Force user alive and he's wasting away by himself on some desolate rock, swearing off the rest of the galaxy because he thinks that he's a failure, that he wasn't strong or good enough, that he can't win, that it's not even worth it to try anymore, and that even at the height of his wisdom and power, it was all undone, and by himself no less.

another comment

Stuff has changed, I mean he’s quicker to come to his senses. I wouldn’t call that his flaw though. His flaw is one of his greatest traits, his care for his friends and family. It’s a flaw cause it causes implusive actions, lashing out on Vader, leaving Yoda, a single thought that he could stop a horrible fate in Ben.

I personal struggle with a temptation in my life, a temptation to do something my faith says is wrong to do. I may have overcome it some days, but other days, whether the same circumstances or not, I might fall into it. Temptations are a constant battle, not a one and done thing. Flaws are similar, you don’t just grow past a flaw after one instance.

Because a day may come when you will brought face-to-face with that temptation or flaw again, but the circumstances will be different, and it won’t be so easy to overcome.

You mentioned Toy Story in a post, and that’s a decent example when it comes to one facet. Woody might not get jealous when another flashy toy comes along that gets more attention like Buzz did.

A better example of the nagging of a temptation, like Luke dealt with, is in Lord of the Rings. The Ring is a constant temptation to the bearer and those around them. At least by the film, Frodo may have resisted the urge to use it under the tree, but he still was tempted to use it at other times, and it was a constant battle. Same with Bilbo. Bilbo held the ring for 60 years. And the temptation of it held him greatly. He drops the Ring in Bag End, letting it go. If he was viewed similarly to how people viewed Luke tossing the saber, that’d mean he freed himself from it’s grasp and from the temptation to take and use it. We see in Rivendell that isn’t the case for him. He has a moment of wanting to take it back, and even at the end of his time in Middle Earth, he inquires about it, although more innocently curious.

That would be more similar to Luke’s case. To fall to the dark is a constant temptation that Jedi should always be aware of, and if you get close at one point, there’s the possibility that it’ll happen again, and if you aren’t prepared or it comes in a different form, you’ll either fall or get really close.

That turned out longer than I meant it, but I see this idea and..it’s just not the case.

another comment 

Just because you get older doesn't mean you necessarily get wiser and better.

Jedi are still people (and some aliens, but you get the meaning), and the prequels (and even the OT) showed that even the oldest and wisest among the Jedi were capable of mistakes and misjudgments.

I think it's unreasonable to assume Luke should have become incapable of making, or even repeating mistakes and succumbing to emotion.

Right because people only get better as they get older and we grow past our flaws and doubts permanently right?

You guys are weird.

Luke overcame that moment of doubt before he almost struck Vader down and you think what ....... Luke got some kind of videogame like powerup where that character flaw would never come back again?

Some of you have a very black and white (boring) opinion on life and human growth.

Spoiler: People have flaws, we don't all overcome those flaws.Your boy Luke is no exception.

Consider what nearly proved to be his downfall in Return of the Jedi: for all the Emperor's taunting about the Rebel Alliance's imminent demise, it was Darth Vader who finally pushed his Berserk Button by discovering that Leia was his twin sister and suggesting that if Luke didn't change sides, he and his master might have better luck turning her. Then, when Luke went berserk, it totally worked: he curb-stomped Darth Vader and still didn't go evil in the end. His father's killing off the Emperor also put an end to a whole lot of the Empire's evil and birthed the New Republic.

Flash forward thirty years, and once again someone is threatening everyone and everything Luke loves, and killing the guy would surely preempt a whole lot of trouble. In his heart of hearts, he doubtless remembers what Yoda taught him about how easy and seductive the Dark Side is, but he also remembers how Yoda's mistake of hiding the truth about his lineage from him nearly brought his downfall. He also remembers how killing the Emperor solved so many problems the way he'd better not try to solve them this time... Well, what's so tempting about that?

Luke had more to lose at this time. He knew what a relatively free, peaceful Galaxy looked like, and had other students to care for besides Ben. Instinctively, he was acting out of concern for them. Luke makes an important point when he gives Rey the truth: it is a split second. Luke is a hero, but he's human. He was impulsive and acted on instinct in his youth, so the fear of Ben turning is enough to push him to the edge for a second.

hopeforben . tumblr . com/post/623000635980333056/theres-a-significant-portion-of-the-fandom-that/embed

@emeraldspiral​ 

@daughter-of-water​

@someoneintheshadow456​

[imagines-dreams]

Beauty and the Spirit Part 2- Zuko Imagine

Rating: PG

Warnings: there’s some shouting and arguing

Summary: Part 2 to Beauty and the Spirit (is tumblr still banning links i dont remember and if so please tell me cuz id have to take the link down) You were used to war and grew up with stories of captivity. But, being a prisoner in an enchanted castle was nothing like the stories you heard.

Word Count: 2695

Tags: @chims-kookies

You hugged your knees to your chest. It had only been a few hours since the spirit locked you inside. Whoever the demon was, he was powerful. The bars of your prison were constantly hot, and yet the lock still held up. He was powerful enough to sustain the same amount of heat throughout the hours without comprising the cell’s integrity.

Hopefully, in a few days, he would run out of energy, time, or attention to keep that up. Then, you can pick the lock and sneak past the other spirits and residents of the abandoned castle.

“You’re real!”

You gasped. “What? Who’s there?”

“Me!”

You tried to find the source of the voice, but you couldn’t see anyone or any spirit.  The voice was a bit familiar though.

“By your feet!”

You stared at your feet, and sure enough, there was a teacup with steaming hot tea. You stared at it. “Uh, thank you.” You lifted the teacup and held it carefully. The warmth seeped into your skin, and you sighed. When the blood finally reached the tips of your fingers, you slowly lifted the drink to your lips.

“You’re welcome.”

You screamed and held the cup away from your face. You squinted at the teacup. “You… You can talk?”

“Mhm! Name’s Lu Ten, and it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

You laughed. “Um, pleasure to meet you as well, Lu Ten.”

“Lu, take it down a notch, will you?”

The teacup responded. “Why take it down a notch, when we have a guest!” The teacup jumped from your fingers and onto the ground near the bars. “Mai, you are such a downer.”

“I’m realistic.”

You squinted at the door. A quill was upright outside your cell, and it was talking to Lu Ten, the teacup.

You pushed your palm against your forehead. “I’m going crazy.”

The quill, yes the quill, responded, “You’re gonna wish you were when you see the entire palace.”

You tilted your head. “I’m a prisoner.”

“No, not at all!” Lu Ten hopped back to your feet.

The quill jumped to the lock and picked it easily. The door swung open.

“You’re a guest, first and foremost,” the teacup continued, “No matter what my cousin says.”

“Cousin?” You stood up and rubbed your arms. “So all the objects here are… spirits?”

Lu Ten hopped to the door. “Well, it’s a long story.”

“That none of us want to relive,” the quill expanded.

“Ok,” you drawled. The teacup and quill started to their way downstairs. You stared at the cell. No heat emanated from the bars, so the demon that trapped you wasn’t controlling it. Did it know that its … residents were breaking you out?

The quill stopped. “You coming?”

You blinked. “Yes, of course.” You fell into step with the objects. “Um, exactly where are we going?”

“To your room!” Lu Ten said. “We haven’t had guests in a while, so we needed a bit of time to prepare your room.”

“Ok.” You stared at the walls of the palace. When you first arrived, there wasn’t any light to illuminate your way. However, as you were being led by a quill and a teacup, you noticed that the candles were lit. Did the castle come to life at night? Was it a curse from a spirit? Maybe the demon who entrapped you enchanted the objects. Maybe he cursed nearby villagers to become inanimate objects.

“Here it is!”

“Son! We’re not ready for her yet!”

The doors opened in front of you, and you couldn’t hide your amazement. The room was dusty, sure, but everything else was magnificent. The bed was bigger than your old room and had more pillows than you can ever need in a lifetime. There were multiple baskets full of beauty products you haven’t even heard of. A powder here. Some brushes there.

Then, there was a shelf full of scrolls. A shelf that also had your bag. You rushed to the shelf and slung your bag over your shoulder, relishing in the feeling of its weight. You took one of the scrolls and perused it. A scroll on waterbending. Katara would love that. You put that in your bag and peeked at the other scrolls. One on the history of the four nations. Another on the legends of dragons. Some on philosophy.

There were so many!

“You like to read!”

You turned around. The teapot you saw when you first saw when you stepped foot in the castle was on a wooden tray on your bed. “I’m quite fond of Love Amongst the Dragons.”

You tilted your head. “You saw the play?”

“Multiple times. My family loved it.”

You smiled. “It is a beautiful story.” You sat on your bed at stared at the assortment of enchanted objects in front of you. Teapot, teacup, quill. “I don’t get it.” You knew of spirits and enchanted animals but not enchanted objects. Then again, maybe these things were spirits of some sort? That wouldn’t be the craziest thing you’ve heard. You bit your lip. “Why are you all being nice to the prisoner?”

“Well, the decision wasn’t unanimous,” the quill said, settling down on one of your pillows.

“Oh, don’t be so grumpy, Mai!”

You screamed and scrambled to the other side of your bed. One of the baskets had jumped right onto the bed.

“Ty Lee, you’re scaring her!” Lu Ten laughed.

The basket just giggled. “Sorry, but I’m just so excited. It’s been years since I’ve had someone to make over.”

You smiled. “I’ve been on quite a few adventures, but this is definitely the weirdest thing I’ve ever been through.” You looked around the room. “Does everything talk?”

“Nah,” Mai said. “Just us.”

“Why?”

“Now, child,” the teapot said, “I believe you need rest. Come on, everyone, let’s get back to our duties. The prince won’t be happy, so we need to be ready.”

“Prince?” you asked. “We’re in a kingdom.”

The teapot froze but quickly recovered. “A little kingdom of our own, yes.” He ushered all the objects out of your room. “Ty Lee, I expect you to take good care of our guest.”

“Yes, Iroh!”

Iroh. You heard that name before. A story maybe or from rumors? Maybe it was a common name. Perhaps. “Um, Iroh?”

“Yes, child?”

You nodded and bowed. “Thank you.”

“Of course. No, off to bed. I will come to fetch you in the morning.”

You waved goodbye and watched as the doors closed behind the teapot. You patted the bedsheets.

“Careful!” Ty Lee warned. “We haven’t had guests in a while.”

You coughed and waved the dust away from your face.  “I can tell.”

You lifted the blankets and lifted it up and down to get rid of the dust. You remade the bed and answered Ty Lee’s questions.

“What’s your name?”

“(Y/n).” You moved around a few pillows.

“Where do you come from?”

You put some pillows in the other baskets. “Uh, Earth Kingdom.”

“Oh, I haven’t been there before!”

“It’s beautiful,” you said as you patted counted the many spare blankets in the baskets.

“I bet it is! What’s your favorite part?”

You shrugged. “I love a lot about my island.”

For hours, you rearranged your bed and made small talk with the enchanted basket. Finally, she lightly snored, and you let out a breath. Time to get to work.

~ - ~

Sunrise came, and you were almost done. The rope of blankets and sheets was almost near the ground. Probably needed three or four more blankets. You double checked the knot around the bedpost, pulling on it as hard as you could. When it didn’t budge, you smiled to yourself and grabbed the next blanket.

“(Y/n)?”

You shoved the rope of blankets out the window. Quickly, you draped one of your blankets over the bedpost. You grabbed a book and plopped down on the bed.

“Come in!” you yelled.

Iroh the teapot rolled in on a cart. “Good morning, (Y/n).” The teapot eyed Ty Lee the sleeping basket and your suspicious looking bedpost.

You held in your breath and moved so he couldn’t see anything. “Good morning, Iroh. How are you?”

The cart rolled next to your bed. “Not as tired as you are. Is your rope long enough to get you safely to the ground?”

You gulped. “Are you-”

“Going to tell the prince?” The teapot laughed. “I’m much older than he is, so no. Unless you want-”

“No!” You exclaimed. You laughed awkwardly. “Sorry, I just… I’m sure you understand.”

“Of course, child.” The teapot smiled as much as he could smile. “Now, for tea. Do you have any favorites? I have ginseng, jasmine, green. I have a few more, if I could find them. I have a rare one somewhere around here.”

“A rare one?” You tilted your head. “You mean, white dragon tea?” You beamed.

He stopped searching and faced you. “You like tea?”

“I love tea,” you admitted. “It was a staple back home.”

“Are you planning on returning there after this ordeal then? I’m sure your parents would love to see you.”

You managed a small smile. “I wish.”

The cart rolled to you slowly. A steaming cup of white dragon tea was waiting for you. You took it in your hands and took a deep breath. The sweet smell of the tea you cherished as a child reminded you so much of your old home. With your parents and friends. Back in the Earth Kingdom. “No, last time I was home, it was ash,” you said.

“The Fire Nation got the Earth Kingdom?”

“All the islands, and last I hear they’re moving inland towards the palace.” You laughed bitterly and rose your glass. “Cheers.”

“You know, home, I find, isn’t a place. It’s the people. And if the people you once called home have passed, you keep their love with you and find a new home.”

You smiled. “Does that ring true for you, Iroh?”

He laughed. “Very true for me! A lot has changed in my many years here, and even though, some years I went without a home, I always found love in someone, soon enough.” He rolled over the window and looked at your makeshift rope. “If you worked for another hour or two, you should have a good length to get to the ground.” He motioned to Ty Lee. “She, however, is bound to wake up soon. I advise working tonight and leaving when you finish.”

You set down your tea. “Why are you helping me?”

“Because even though you are still searching for a home, I’m certain that little boy is special and that you will be crucial to his avatar training.”

You tilted your head. “You know?”

“He’s not that secretive.”

You giggled. “You’re right about that.” You held up your teacup. “Thank you again, Iroh.”

“It’s no problem, my dear.” Just as he reached the doors, he said, “And there’s a library downstairs, if you wish to read in your spare time.”

“A library?” The smell of old scrolls. The promise of a warm fire. The comfort of a good chair. “That sounds wonderful.”

And so, when Ty Lee woke up, you immediately asked, “Can you take me to the library?”

“The library is amazing! It’s so big and full of scrolls. You’re going to love it. I’m so excited for you to see it!” You smiled. “So you’ll take me there.”

Ty Lee jumped onto your bed. “Not yet. We need a reading outfit. That just won’t do. What do you think of pink?”

“Uh-”

“Just trust me. You’re going to love it!” Ty Lee jumped around your room, and you gasped as your room came to life. Sashes and garment flew around you, pausing to stop in front of you and then being whisked away by an invisible force you could only explain as magic. Ty Lee was bubbling with excitement, saying yes and no to each thing tht stopped by you, until finally, you were wearing a dress so fancy, you were scared to move. “Um, Ty Lee?”

“Yes?”

“I think this is a bit fancy for a day in.”

“Oh, you’re right! So sorry, it’s been forever since we’ve had a guest.” SHe cleared her throat. “Again!”

Another flurry of clothes later, you were dressed in a dark red outfit with golden trimmings. Your hair was pinned into a simple hairstyle, and your shoes were replaced by a new pair. You giggled and reveled in the feeling of new clothes on your skin. “I… Would your boss be ok with you giving me new clothes?”

She laughed. “I’m not scared of him. Now, let’s go. We have a library to see!”

~ - ~

You stood over the table of scrolls you had pulled out to examine. After Ty Lee led you there, you hadn’t left. Ty Lee wanted to do other things, so she left Mai in charge of you, which you were thankful for. Ty Lee was sweet, but when reading, you preferred a quieter companion. Iroh had come in occasionally to give you snacks, but other than that, the maps were your priority.

You had maps from a century ago that described the place you were in as a spot for Fire Nation officials. It was meant to be a place for diplomacy, for Fire Nation officials to learn about and negotiate with the nearby Water Tribe.

However, as time passed, it became a vacation spot for anyone from the Fire Nation. The ruins you resided in was meant for the Fire Nation royal family. But a decade ago, the place was wiped off the map. With no explanation. There was no record of what happened to this once tourist place. Not a single ball or a building plan. If it weren’t for the maps, you would have guessed you were dreaming this entire place up.

Where maps and invitations and construction plans failed, you decided to find art. If you could find any art, maybe you could find out who had lived in this castle that became ruins. You laid anything and everything you found out on the table. A program for a theater production here. A scroll filled with a child’s calligraphy there. A tile for Pai Sho.

Then, under your pile, was a painting. Of a royal family. It was singed at the edges. A father and mother with a boy and a little girl. The picture actually wasn’t that old either. Maybe a decade, at most. Were the things that resided here related to this family?

“Where did you find that?!”

The picture was snatched from your hands. “I’m sorry,” you gasped. “I was just trying to find answers. I didn’t-” You almost screamed when you saw the face of your captor.  The … thing that was holding you captive was not a spirit. Rather, it was a man, cursed beyond your understanding. Although his black robes covered most of his body, his face wasn’t hidden from view. A scar covered his eye. He had some on his neck too. A white horn sprouted from his temple, and blue spots, almost like bruises, littered his face. And every second that passed, those bruises, those blue spots, moved, like shadows.

What was he? How did this happen? Did someone do this to him?

“Get out!”

“What?” You didn’t understand. “I thought-”

“I don’t care!” He screamed, and a growl rumbled through the library. “Get out of here. Never come here again!”

“But-”

“Go!” He snarled, and his teeth, a mix of canines and fangs, was revealed.

You screamed. Fear washed over you, and in record time, you were back in the bedroom. Your makeshift rope was thrown out the window.

“(Y/n)!”

“I’m sorry Lu Ten.” Your fingers shook as you secured your bag around your shoulder. “I have to go. I can’t stay.”

“But-”

“I’m sorry!” You climbed down your rope of bedsheets and blankets and robes, and when you came to the end, you took a deep breath and jumped. Your ankle cried out in pain, but you could care less. You freed your horse and rode outside the courtyard.