#I don't wanna be afraid for my life every damn day because the world can't fucking fight a terrorist country

[swemtpotamtam]

I am honestly so tired of the world being so fucking complacent with ruzzia's bs

Like, hello?? ruschist pigs have been killing us, killing civillians, bombing cities and villages, erasing our culture and our language, treating our POWs like utter garbage in their prisons (meanwhile ruzzian POWs are treated super well in our prisons), torture our soldiers and civillians

They attack our cities with missiles that have western components, meanwhile we are not allowed to strike back and defend ourselves with western weapons

That is so fucking ass backwards, it's like telling a victim of SA to just let it go or let the r*pist do what they wanna do because if you fight back you will be escalating the situation and it's better to just grit your teeth and get defiled in silence

Very fucking cool of the world to just sit idly on its ass while a whole fucking nation is getting genocided

People need to open their fucking eyes and act

[moeitsu]

Song Lyrics That Remind Me of Arthur Morgan

Nobody asked for this, but I listen to A LOT of music, and this boah is constantly on my mind 24/7. So I thought I'd share some lyrics that remind me of him and his relationships <3

━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━

Hard Believer - First Aid Kit

"So you ask for my opinion. Well, what is there to say? To be honest and just foolish, won't make you wanna stay. You've got to go on and get moving. And I can't do that for you. Got so many plans and so much you wanna do. Love is tough, time is rough on me."

To a Poet - First Aid Kit (Mary & Arthur)

"You said, 'Don't give me nothing you don't wanna lose.' I said, 'Darlin' I'll give you everything I got, if you want them to choose.' Though unwillingly I left and it was so, so hard to do. Now I miss you more than I can take and I will surely break. And every morning that I wake, God, it is the same."

Afraid of Heights - Boygenius (Dutch & Arthur)

"I know I fucked up when I told you I'm afraid of heights. It made you wanna test my courage. You made me climb a cliff at night. You wanted me to jump and I declined. You called me a coward, I replied, I don't wanna live forever, but I don't wanna die tonight."

My Silver Lining - First Aid Kit

"I don't know if I'm scared of dyin', but I'm scared of living too fast, too slow. Regret, remorse, hold on. Oh no I've gotta go. There's no starting over, no new beginnings, time races on. You've just gotta keep on keeping on."

Sun Bleached Flies - Ethel Cain

"If they strike once, then you hit 'em twice as hard. But in the end, if I bend under the weight that they gave me, Then this heart would break and fall twice as far. We all know how it goes, the more it hurts, the less it shows. But I still feel like they all know, and that's why I could never go back home."

Saviour - George Ezra (Mary & Arthur)

"Time was young and you were mine. Take me back to that midnight moon. Cradle me, at that midnight moon. All of me is all for you, and what I got to give is not enough. It's a dark night. Being your own savior, is it saving you?"

Cowboy, Gangster, Politician - Goldie Boutilier (Mary & Arthur)

"We said goodbye, but it never ends. 'Cause you can't get away from a woman who loves you. 'Cause you can't run away from feelings that haunt you. No, you can't separate a fire from a flame that already burns. Every saints a sinner, we all have our past. Forever is a fiction, nothing lasts."

Let Him Fly - Patty Griffin (Mary Gillis-Linton)

"Ain't no talking to this man, ain't no pretty other side. Ain't no way to understand, the stupid words of pride. It would take an acrobat, and I already tried all that so, I'm gonna let him fly. You know the light has left his face, but you can't recall just where or why. So there was really nothing to it, I said I'm gonna let him fly."

The Chain - Fleetwood Mac (Dutch & Arthur)

"And if you don't love me now, You will never love me again. I can still hear you saying, we would never break the chain. Run in the shadows. Damn your love, damn your lies."

Devil's Resting Place - Laura Marling

"I've been with the devil in the devil's resting place. Water won't clean you, you only hold yourself to the things you do. Come up here to speak to me and hold your face to mine. Any man can hold my gaze has done his job just fine. You sold your life away to be with me tonight. Hold your head against my chest, I think you'll be just fine."

Through the Valley - Shawn James

"I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. And I fear no evil because I'm blind to it all, and my mind and my gun they comfort me. Because I know I'll kill my enemies when they come. Surely, goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life. And I will dwell on this earth forevermore. Well, I came upon a man at the top of a hill. Called himself the savior of the human race. Said he'd come to save the world from destruction and pain, but I said, how can you save the world from itself?"

Youngest Daughter - Superheaven

"It's useless, I tried, but to no avail. To tell you how much I know, how much I care. Breathe until your lungs fail, you can sing 'til you go deaf. I am sick, I am horrified at everything I hear. Everyday repeats itself again, the cycle of our misery, It drives us all insane."

The Fall - Gregory Alan Isakov (John & Arthur)

"You heard blood was thick, brothers and sisters. But ya don't know where anybody's at. Time was a bust, you thought you'd better be tough. Nobody gets past the trembling wire. All eyes on you now, on you. We're all holding our breath."

Second Chances - Gregory Alan Isakov (John & Arthur)

"I'm running from nothing, no thoughts in my mind. Oh my heart was all black but I saw something shine. Thought that part was yours, but it might just be mine. I could share it with you, if you gave me the time. I'm all bloody knuckles, longing for home. If it weren't for second chances, we'd all be alone."

My Mind - Paris Paloma (Dutch & Arthur)

"What did I do wrong? Will you tell me what I did wrong, what did I? Was it a first offense? How long had you been harboring that vemon? You could have used your words then, you wanted them to hurt and so I let them. Never would I beseech you, to endure what you put me through."

[sophieinwonderland]

My headcannon is that when human beings first came to existence, they were supposed to have alters and headmates to share the load of work, but then it just went away, but all of them are still in the back of every person’s mind like: “Dude, what the hell? Tell Tiffany you didn’t wanna go to that party! Screw being late to school, pet that damn dog!” And we just perceive that as our thoughts and talking to ourselves. /j

—Geovanni

Seriously though, what do you think (or is there evidence of) a survival mechanism behind plurality, or did it begin when urban and modern society began due to stress and such?

Ooh! There are so many layers to this! This is going to be fun! 😊

20,000 BC

I think we can start with dissociation, because let's face it, living in the past probably would have been pretty traumatic. And it makes sense people would have a mechanism to separate themselves from that trauma.

Imagine the year is 20,000 BC. You're a child being raised in a home made of the bones of the mighty mammoths. The world outside is a harsh, frigid wasteland. It's kill or be killed. And you've been taught this from a young age. Your youth is preparing to hunt the monsters that stalk the land, like the great beast whose bones were used to construct your home.

As you grow, you likely would find yourself living a dual-life. On one hand, you're the killer, the hunter of monsters. On the other, you need to be kind and caring to your family and friends because humans are social creatures. You need to be able to put the killer inside you to sleep when you're at home.

I don't usually think of the metaphor of having a work self and home self as being a plural thing. But I think it might become one when your "work self" involves entering a dangerous world of monsters where you need to hunt to survive every day.

This, I feel, is a good explanation for the evolutionary advantage of dissociation to our ancestors

But that leaves out non-traumagenic plurality.

Before we get to this, let's talk about something that isn't plural itself but is related.

Evolution of Dream Characters!

Here's one curious feature of humanity that we all kind of take for granted...

We have a holodeck in our head! An ability to, every night, create realistic mental simulations of the world.

There are many explanations for this ability, but personally, I take the view that it's intended as a conflict simulator. A danger room without the danger. How do you ensure that a species will survive the dangers of the world? You let them simulate the dangers they expect will happen every single night. It's like how a speech will go better if you rehearse what you're going to say first. Being forced to simulate a hunt will you make better prepared for it.

In my opinion, dreams are rehearsal for battling sabretooth tigers.

This is why so many dreams involve conflict, and even why we so often have nightmares. A nightmare is just your mind simulating how you would deal with something you're afraid of.

But where this gets really interesting and scary is that dreams don't just simulate circumstances and creatures. Dreams simulate people.

This also makes a lot of sense from an evolutionary perspective. There's an advantage to being able to predict how other people would react to you, and replay scenarios in your mind to train yourself for human interaction.

The strange thing is that these temporary people that we call dream characters are often fully autonomous. Even most lucid dreamers who learn to control other aspects of their dreams still can't control their dreams characters.

To me, this only makes sense if dream characters are temporary dissociated agents. Not exactly alters since they don't front. And not even full headmates since they don't last longer than the dream. But using similar mechanisms.

Evolution of Tulpas and Daydream Characters

With all of this in mind, I want to point out that daydreams and imagination exist for a similar reason as dreams. They're to simulate things. The difference is that daydreams and imagination are usually more controlled and less autonomous. You choose the simulation you want to run.

The reason that tulpas are able to exist is that, if someone were to imagine the same character over and over again, the brain might see that character as being more important. Conscious control over an imaginary character slows the simulation down and can interfere with it running, so the simulation needs to become automatized. And over time, with repeated interaction, that simulation could grow to develop its own autobiographical memories and become fully sapient.

In 20,000 BC, it wouldn't be recognized as a headmate, but probably some sort of external spirit or deity.

But why do these things work this way? Why is it possible for tulpas to exist, be sentient, and even front?

The brain is lazy

I think the brain's design cut corners and uses the same mechanisms for all of these that it uses to make the singlet "self."

There's a certain logic to this. If you need the brain to simulate other sentient people, why wouldn't it just use the same ones it uses to simulate the host?

Especially when the brain wasn't designed. These various mechanisms likely just evolved out of each other. Did the brain evolve to simulate a "self" first and later evolve to simulate "other" people? Or did we have the ability to simulate other people first, and later our sense of self evolved from that?

Whatever the case may be, I'm sure one did evolve from the other, and this is the reasons for a lot of the oddities we experience in plurality.

Anyway, that's my theory! 😁

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJCbqwmk/

I am a European, and I genuenly wanna know what do you think about this. Is living there really so bad?🤔

I mean, I heard people be afraid of going to the doctor because how hight the prices are, meanwhile here basically free...

And US tourist getting ptsd from fireworks, or crackers, because in US the shooting considered normal, meanwhile here they are always big news, because max it happens 1 in 10 years...

And I don't get started on the political things, that looks like it came from the distopy called "The handmaidens tale"...

So is it true? Or how do you feel about this?

Huh.

Well I'm by no means an economics or capitalist expert.

But yeah those are still a lot of those problems are prevent in America.

Even in my state where the homeless rates are pretty low...... It's still 11% and I am for sure seeing more homelessness then I ever did as a kid in the 90s...

It varies from state to state, but there are often affordable health insurance programs under the affordable healthcare act in place that give bare minimum insurance if you are on a low income wage. I am on one of those health programs. So I do get affordable healthcare, but they're only for people making under a certain amount. I've rarely had problems with my insurance and do get access to mental health services through them. However the services are usually Christian owned (yeah christian mental health services are a thing) and sometimes aren't too friendly to trans or lgbt people. I'm thankful I have a therapist who is super kind and listens to me though. My first therapist was working for college credit and checked out but I'm glad I got a new one now.

OH DAMN THE FIREWORKS. You need to understand, it's NOT JUST Independence Day, (the fourth of July) Every summer around the middle of June, these big top tents set up in retail parking lots for people to buy home fireworks at low low prices. Thankfully, not many have been going off in June in Michigan cus of the air pollution and fire danger lately. But during THE ENTIRE MONTH OF JULY it will be very likely you'll hear noise poppers, and home brewed and bought fireworks from millions of Americans across the country. I know my old dog hated the summer fireworks and my heart goes out to any veterans with PTSD, or anyone that has PTSD for loud gunshot type noises, or people that can't stand loud noises. And it's always when you try to sleep too.

I'm one of the people living from paycheck to paycheck and I do get by okay. I mostly utilize my local library. Which is very good about listing resources of what churches give out free food. Which I sometimes use so I can save money for rent that month.

There's always resources to help there and while it is bad, people here are mostly living their day to day life.

As I said I'm not an expert and your millage may very but I am doing okay....

That being said. Reminding everyone my commissions are always open and I never close them

[antlerquccn]

sentence starter from halestorm's album into the wild life . change to fit as you see needed. potentially nsfw themes.

I won't be out done

I don't have time for you all

It's kicking down your door

So what ya waitin' for?

Scream until they hear you

Am I brave enough?

Am I strong enough?

I am the fire

I am the one I've been waiting for

I don't believe I'll fall from grace

I promise to myself, me and no one else

I am more than this

Well you think that you know what I am but you don't.

I like it loud, wear it proud, like a crown upon my head

I'll always be this way 'till the day that I'm dead

I'm a sick individual

I'm doing this thing called whatever the fuck I want

Would you like to know what I do if I got you alone

I don't talk the talk cause I walk the walk

But I just keep on breathing long as my heart is beating

I won't run I'm not afraid

Can I get an Amen?

Sometimes there's no reason to justify the meaning

I won't run I'm not ashamed

It's gonna take more than this for me to break

Hold your head up high there's a world outside that's passing by

Never lose yourself remember that you're like nobody else

Through it all year after year stand or fall I will be right here

Don't worry about those stupid girls

It's cause they're scared and insecure

Don't change for any man

I will be right here for you

I've got a forbidden love I'm not givin' it up

I'm not givin' it up

I've got a new modern love I'm not givin' it up

I won't pretend that I don't feel the way I feel

I can't forget the taste of something that's real

Maybe you'll find something that'll scare you, something that you like

That's just the way it is

I don't care if you don't get it

Maybe you'll find something that'll save ya

I've got an uncommon love

A little mayhem never hurt anyone

I know I'm not the only one

I wanna feel the walls shake

Looking for some Mayhem

They all say I've lost my mind

The real truth is they're scared because you're brave

You'll be ok if you be yourself for no one else

They'll hate you cause you're beautiful

You pretty thing with the dirty mouth

We will never back down

Cause they'll never understand

All my secrets that you weren't supposed to know

I get what I want and I'm gonna get mine

Why did you watch me suffer?

I'm the reaper outside your door

You took everything made me feel less than nothing

But trusting you was no one's fault but my own

I shoulda known better than that

So you press play and I hit record

We're not us anymore

Give you one last time to make me miss it

I'm leaving scratches up and down your back

'Cause we're dysfunctional l

'Cause no one does it better no one knows me better

I'm so over this love gone violent

I'm drunk and brave enough to say what sober couldn't say

I've been doing time believing in the lie that you still loved me

Always wanting more but never giving

Always buying into every kiss but not this time

I'm over this so over this

I see the good in the bad and the ugly

If I can't feel it in my chest I'm in the wrong damn place!

And there's a man down below that needs my sympathy

I like it heavy

I fell in love with the darkest parts

Since I was 13 years old I've had my fist to the sky

Some like beautiful, perfect and pretty I see the good in the bad and the ugly

Take me home tonight I'll do anything with you

We can sit 'til morning light just count every star

If you're an angel then I must be high

If you won't do it I'll do it for you

Now we're kissing under covers and it's all just because I jumped the gun

My place or yours I'm good either way

I got a dirty mouth

Unapologetic with you tonight nothing to hide

Give me something real don’t play no games

I’ll give you every piece of me

Don't you wish you were mine

You're seeing double cuz I'm a knockout

[youraichuwu]

hm? you're talking about Jo? Oh, I love her.

The way she smiles at me and the way she laughs, it never fails me to make my face turn red. I'm not overreacting but I find her jokes funny and I love that about her.

She is perfect and gorgeous. I really admire the trait of hers. I considered myself lucky because out of many people, boys or girls, you chose me. Sometimes it makes me wonder how come you fell in love with me because I am not good enough for you. It feels like a dream, luckily it's not. I've cherished the memories we made together and I wished that I can make more memories with her. I've always been afraid that one day that we'd stop making memories that both of us would forever cherish. I really wish I could still spend time and enjoy my life while she stays with me. But the fact she shows so much love and affection to me and made me think to not worry about losing her. But sometimes I still worry that someday she might leave me. I know that we've spent so much love together that one day in the future we might become strangers.

She shows me the reality of the world. She is the reason why I should still live, all the problems I have are gone because of her, and all my darkness has become light because she entertains me without effort. I didn't realize that I am fully in love with her and I'm even trying to deny it but she is the only answer why I should keep up.

So many people like her, I really don't blame them but sometimes I get jealous and it's hard and embarrassing to admit it. But I remember the sweet things she says to me so before I know it, my jealousy disappears. I should actually get jealous when she flirts or talks with them. I know it's embarrassing to admit it but there's no way she would do that. So, I always try my best to handle my jealousy or "selos".

I really wanna experience romantic things with her and enjoy our teenager phase such as, eating together, photobooth date, kiss her, and there are more that I can't even express. And if we part ways, I really want her to hug me so tightly and we consider it as our last hug. I really love her so much.

She is everything to me, my soulmate, and she's the one. I love everything about her. Gosh, I wish I could hug her today so tight. I know that she also loves me because of the way she talks to me, you know she acts just like my mom and I love that. The way she gets mad and the way she gets clingy to me is like damn I'm so lucky to have you in my life. Every time you tease me, my face always turns red and my heart beats so fast like 500 times.

I don't know how many times I will tell that I love her so but she is the prettiest that I've seen in my life and she is the one who gave my life a meaning. She is the one that I can trust and she is the one that can help me when I'm at the lowest. I love her so much and I'm so selfish because I'm only hers and I will not give her to others. I love her damn it.

[tartagilicious]

marius von hagen playlist / 🍇

tears of themis is one of those rare games where it doesn't matter how long you've left it, when you come back to it you still love it just as much. it's been that way for me since august of 2020, and i hope it stays that way for a long time >:) so in other words i've just rediscovered my raging crush on marius for like the 4th time LMAO

soft spot by ralph castelli

"i don't wanna be everything you need. you know i've got a soft spot, but it's hard to find. i know you think you found one, but it's not mine."

talk too much by coin

"discussing current events, i take my time. i'm not the forward thinker, but you read my mind. better to leave it unsaid. you know i talk too much, honey come put your lips on mine and shut me up."

airplane mode by hayd

"my honesty is trending, my pocket's getting full, but i still feel empty. i know i should be flexing billion dollar bills, but i'm not mr brightside. i don't deserve a spotlight, i'm dreaming on a red eye as reality seems to fly by."

nervous by the neighbourhood

"oh, i would do anything for you, you just gotta love me. i've got an itch in my throat, i don't know which way to go. i keep on switching, i know. i need a different approach. it's all because i wanna show you that i'm so capable."

dirty, pretty, beautiful by the maine

"learn to relax and feel your soul. i want people, not things. your silhouette is gold. keep all the finer things, i want intangible. give me your energy, give me invisible -- a reason to lose, to lose control. we've got this thing, and it's untouchable, it's so dirty, pretty, beautiful. this energy is not material, and it's never gonna let you down."

goldrush by taylor swift

"i don't like anticipating my face in a red flush. i don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch, everybody wants you, everybody wonders what it would be like to love you. eyes like sinking ships on waters so inviting, i almost jump in."

notice me (acoustic) by role model

"let's dance when we're not supposed to be, can't stand when you're not close to me, damn, can't believe you noticed me. now i'm angry, 'cause i'm falling in love. i'm mad 'cause i used to hate all this stuff."

do it all the time by i don't know how but they found me

"it's so fun, we're so good at telling lies. we look so good and we never even try. get your money from a trust fund, we do it all the time."

eyes off you by prettymuch

"don't ask why, but every little thing you do just drives me wild. don't be shy, come a little close light my world on fire. there's no touch or feeling, pleasure or pain, anything like the way you're running through my veins."

easier said than done by dreamer boy

"why does it always happen like this? i'm making faces in the mirror, and all the exit signs are unappealing. you won't let me drift away too far when i'm holding onto what i know. go tell me what you're afraid of, i'll meet you wherever you are."

arabella by arctic monkeys

"when she needs to shelter from reality, she takes a dip in my daydreams. my days end best when the sunset gets itself behind, that little lady sitting on the passenger side. it's must less picturesque without her catching the light. the horizon tries but it's just not as kind on the eyes."

my ordinary life by the living tombstone

"they give so much to me, i'm losing touch, get me? served on a silver platter, ask for seconds they just let me. they tell me i'm a god, i'm lost in the facade. six feet off the ground at all time i think i'm feeling odd. the people blend together but i would be lost without their love."

peace by taylor swift

"all these people think love's for show, but i would die for you in secret. the devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me. would it be enough if i could never give you peace? your integrity makes me seem small, you paint dreamscapes on the wall, i talk shit with my friends. it's like i'm wasting your honour. and you know that i'd give you my wild, give you a child. give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other."

boy on tv by gerry

"if i paint the sky for you, would you say you love me too? and if i learned to play guitar, would you send me three emoji hearts? and tell me what it'll take, to be your favourite mistake. i'll be the boy on your tv screen, i could be anything you want to be. they'll see us dancing, laughing crying, living a dream. but i don't have to only be the boy on tv."

all for you by andy kong

"all these years i thought that i knew what love was, but you opened up my eyes. you showed me i was just the pen and paper, and you were the colour inside the lines. i've been trying to imagine the edges of your smile in the dreams i found you. know that no matter where you are, even if you're halfway across the world, i will still be right there holding up the stars for you."

sadderdaze by the neighbourhood

"why do they keep on using me? even as child, everyone would say, "he's gonna be a star someday." finally he found a way to reach the sky, but he didn't know what he'd find. now the sun is closer than it was before."

fever dream by mxmtoon

"life's a losing game when you don't play. don't hold you cards too close is what they say, and love is just another leap of faith, but i jump right in. i took the train, i took the call, i didn't know just where i'd fall. but just maybe, i want something more than restless mornings. gettings by's so boring."

[allegra-writes]

“The Devil all the time”

Hunter!Tom x Demon!Reader

Supernatural AU

NSFW

Warnings: Smut

"Break the silence, damn the dark

Damn the light..."

The Chain - Fleetwood Mac

Forget everything you thought you knew, you had every reason to be afraid of the dark when you were a kid. In this world where monsters are real, the Holland brothers hunt them so normal people can continue to live in the bliss of ignorance.

But when something goes terribly wrong, Tom will do anything to save his brother's life, including selling his soul to the devil. Well... Not exactly the devil, but close enough.

You don't need to watch Supernatural to read this AU

MY MASTERLIST

He knew it was you, even before turning. He knew it as soon as he heard your deceptively delicate footsteps break the supernatural silence that had fallen over the forest the moment he had buried the little metal box in the old crossroad. Tom didn't want to think about what it meant, having such an intimate knowledge of you to be able to recognize you by the cadence of your steps, being so in sync with you that he could tell whenever you were in the vicinity. 

So he used his favorite deflection technique whenever it came to you.

"Y/n? What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this? Sorry, did I say nice girl? I meant evil skank"

The insult didn't phase you. None ever did. It was hard to take them seriously when you knew how many nights he fell asleep with your name on his lips, after pathetically releasing himself into his own hand, or fucking his boring girl-next-door girlfriend, chasing orgasm over unsatisfactory orgasm that would never completely satiate him. Because it wasn't your face the one contorted in pleasure looking up at him from the mattress.

"You called. I came" You batted your lashes, sweetly. "I always come when you call…" 

He gulped, the innuendo not lost to his ears. It threw him off guard, like it always did. 

"I would have thought this would be… beneath you" Tom cleared his throat, looking away, trying to regain his footing, "collecting a deal, like a vulgar crossroad demon"

There was nothing vulgar about the soul of a Holland. But he didn't need to know that, so you just shrugged,

"Queen Rowena has an interest in you boys. She finds you entertaining. I'm just being a good subdit" 

He scoffed,

"Funny. I would have never peg you for a sub"

You took a step closer to him.

"You don't have what it takes to make me submit, Holland" Your hot breath fanned over his skin, setting his skin on fire. Making his blood boil. You had a way of doing that, of bringing out the worst in him. Of making him lose control. And you thoroughly enjoyed it, poking at the bear until the claws came out, laughing at the carnage.

Another step, and you could physically feel it: The hate, radiating from his every pore, his mind screaming with it. He hated you. He hated your kind. He hated your beauty. He hated the pretty white dress you were wearing, so pure and innocent, glowing like a beacon in the dark. A lure, guiding uncountable men before him into perdition. 

But above all else, he hated that, even then, he couldn't help but to want you. Fervently. Desperately. Irreversibly. 

"I came here to make a deal" He croaked, cursing himself internally for showing weakness. 

"Let's negotiate, then," you replied, stepping away, mercifully letting him breath. 

"My brother-"

"I know" You interrupted, sounding bored already, "Reapers everywhere are going berserk. Who, oh who, will get to reap the soul of a Holland?" 

The wind picked up, making your long dress billow around your legs. You twirled a little, admiring the way it moved. Tom's eyes were glued to you, almost hypnotized. Partly because you were too dangerous to be left unsupervised even for a second, partly because you looked beautiful like that. It had never been more obvious to him that you were an unearthly creature, you didn't belong to this world. There, surrounded by greenery, barefoot, swaying softly under the twilight light, he wondered how could anybody ever mistake you for a human.

"Of course" your apathetic voice took him out of his revery, "being reapers, watching them go wild is rather boring. I swear they are the most uninteresting beings of all creation" 

That made him see red.

"Boring? Boring?!" He knew his voice was rising with every word but he just couldn't help it, "They're waiting for my little brother to die!!"

"Which could happen any minute now," You reminded him, all playfulness gone from your demeanor, "so if you wanna strike a deal, I suggest you start making me an offer worth my time"  

He was taken aback by that.

"I- My soul in exchange of a wish, and you collect it in ten years" He tried and failed not to think about what that implied: vicious, invisible hounds of hell tearing apart his body and dragging his soul to hell, "Isn't that the usual deal?"

You scoffed,

"After all the things you did in your life, what makes you think your soul doesn't belong in hell already? And if your brother dies, that is one less Holland on earth to worry about. You and your brothers have managed to become a big pain in the ass for us…"

He pulled out a knife, a strange one, with runes in the blade. You arched a brow in recognition

"The Winchesters' knife. Are you threatening me, little hunter?" 

Your lack of reaction was another blow. He had hoped you'd be more impressed than that. Nonetheless he turned it in his hands, offering you the handle.

"I'm throwing it into the deal" 

To his surprise, you didn't immediately take it from his hands, choosing instead to pace the clearing, deep in thought. 

The truth was you couldn't care less about the knife, it wasn't more dangerous to you than a toothpick. And while it was true it could certainly damage your queen, she had a far better weapon to protect herself: You.

But it did confirm your suspicions about the Hollands having access to the old Winchester arsenal, which meant they had access to something way more dangerous than that rustic weapon made of steel and bone. A book, made of ancient dark magic and human skin, written in blood. A book that was precious to queen Rowena and by extension to you: the Book of the Damned. 

The Hollands were a family of extremely talented, yes, but old fashioned hunters. The stab first, ask questions later kind. They probably had no idea what they had in their hands… but you did. 

"Very well then," you finally declared, "this is my offer: Your soul and that knife in exchange for sweet Harry's life and one year for you to get all your businesses in order" 

Tom felt all the blood drain from his face. One year. Just 365 more days to live, before an eternity of torture in hell. 

"O-one year?" He breathed.

"One year" You confirmed, "More than enough time to go see the Grand Canyon, eat the world's spiciest burger or whatever you have on your bucket list" 

The disdain in your words only made him hate you harder.

"Not nearly enough to live" He replied through clenched teeth. You rolled your eyes, 

"You're a hunter. You lead short, violent existences, charging head first towards what most humans run away from. Things faster, stronger, more powerful than you, surviving each encounter out of sheer luck. Killing one monster after another, until that luck runs out. Because the monsters? Unlike you who rely on it everyday, they just need. One. Single. Lucky. Strike." You punctuated every word with one step in his direction, until you were face to face again. Until, for the first time ever, you could see the fear, the desperating hopelessness he kept hidden inside, reflected on the warm coffee of his eyes. You knew a lesser man would be already crying and begging for Mercy.

Tom wasn't like other men though, that was the whole point. 

"Or…" You soften your tone and your stance, letting your fingers ghost over the back of his hand, his whole skin erupting in goosebumps. That was the very first time you touched him. Ever. 

And it was as if nobody had ever touched him before, the light caress enough to set every nerve ending, every single one of his cells, alight.

He was so distracted by the sensation and his body's response to it, he almost didn't hear your next words over the sound of his own pounding heart. 

"Or you could keep your little pocket knife, and even have your ten years if…"

"If?" He struggled to focus.

"You let me borrow a book"

His brows furrowed in confusion,

"A book? What book?"

"Any book of my liking, for as long as I want" You shrugged it off, "Do we have a deal?"

There was a catch there, it was obvious. He knew he was going to regret it but, what choice did he have? 

"Deal"

Your smile was blinding, luminous. If he didn't know any better, he would have called it angelical. Now, that was one ridiculous thought.

"What now? We seal it with a kiss?" His eyes fell to your lips, so soft looking and inviting. He wasn't eager to put his mouth on a filthy demon and doom himself. He wasn't. 

You chuckled, but there was no humor behind it.

"Oh no, darling. This is big. This is special" You're special, "A simple kiss just won't cut it…"

No. You couldn't mean… could you? Was there no limits to your hatred for him? Did you really want him so defeated, so humiliated? 

"What do you want?" He spat through gritted teeth.

"The same thing you want" You put your hands on his chest, rising to your tiptoes to whisper in his ear, "The same thing you have wanted ever since we first met . The thing that's obsessing you..."

"I don't know what you're talking about"

You smirked,

"You can lie to your family, you can even lie to yourself, little hunter... But you can't lie to me." 

He couldn't hide, you could see every fantasy, hear every single one of his thoughts of you on repeat, like a prayer in your direction. Just like he couldn't hide the way his skin was burning now for you, the way his blood rushed south, the way all logical thought left his brain, his iron grip on his emotions finally breaking as he snapped. 

Lightning fast, in just a blink, he twirled you around, your back hitting the rough bark of a tree, as he towered over you, demon blade to your throat, every inch of his body pressed against yours. His eyes were ablazed with rage, and passion, as he surged forward, striking you with his best hit.

He kissed you. 

Lips vicious against yours, teeth biting and scraping only to soothe the offense seconds later with his tongue, until he was dizzy, light headed with the lack of oxygen and the taste of you. The hand not holding the knife to your neck fell to your breast, squeezing the pliant flesh with enough force to cause pain on a human woman, merely making you moan. He swallowed the sound, letting his fingers trace your waist, your hips, clawing at your dress until he finally, finally, felt skin under his fingertips. 

It was better than anything his mind had conjured in his feverish fantasies in the dead of the night. The skin of your inner thighs velvety soft, as they parted under his touch, the sweetest sounds leaving your lips as his fingers found your naked core. You weren't wearing any underwear, probably never had. The realization that, in all your past encounters and fights you had been standing there, just feet away from him with nothing under that damn dress hit him like a truck, making his head swim. 

He searched between your folds, and suddenly his fingers were inside you. He was inside you, a part of him was buried deep within you, within your silky heat, claiming you as his, if only for the night. 

And you were so wet for him, and only getting wetter as he pumped his fingers in and out of you, scissoring them, opening you up until he was able to slip a third one in, fucking you with his hand in earnest. You were sobbing, clutching at his biceps, head thrown back in pleasure. He took advantage of that to suck bruises on your neck, only to see them fade before his eyes. Your skin tasted clean, smelled like wild flowers and rain. Ozone. Lightning. Like those coursing through his veins with every cry, every delicious gasp you made. 

He found the perfect spot inside you, the one that sent sparks through your nerves with every stroke of his calloused fingers. 

"This what you wanted?" To make him lose it? Lose his mind, himself, in you? "For me to make you come on just my fingers, like the little slut you are?"

The floor disappeared from under his feet as you sent him flying away from you, a searing pain exploding at the back of his head as he landed, sprawled at the feet of an old, dying oak. With blurry eyes, he saw you stalk towards him, all power and cold, controlled fury. 

"Let's get one thing straight, Holland. I'm not one of your sluts" You sneered, "and I'm definitely not your basic bitch of a girlfriend. So you better start showing me a little respect, are we clear?"

He gulped, sitting up. He had to be seriously fucked up in the head, for his cock to be twitching inside his pants at your threatening tone.

"Crystal" 

"Good" You declared, coming to a stop right in front of him, standing between his parted legs, "Now, let's put that mouth of yours to a better use"

He knew that image was going to be forever tattooed on his brain: You standing in front of him, holding the skirt of your dress up, waiting for him to put his mouth on you. Tom took a moment to admire you, before delving in, flattening his tongue over your slit, before drawing tight, precise circles on your clit with the tip. God, you tasted so divine it was messing with his head; something as dark and corrupted and twisted as you, feeling so exquisite, so perfect, so heavenly to his every sense. 

He helped you hook your knee over his shoulder, his other arm snaking around your leg, pulling you even closer. You could feel his smirk against your cunt the moment he realized your legs were shaking, but you couldn't find it in yourself to care, not with his wicked talented mouth devouring you like a last meal, rocking your whole world, making you see stars behind your closed eyelids.

You always knew that man would make the stars fall. 

Tom kept on, penetrating you with his tongue as far as it would go, his whole face moving against you. The slight burn of his scruff felt delicious against your delicate labia, as he used his fingers to open you up like a flower, separating your petals to get to the delectable nectar inside. You were close, he could feel it, the obscene sounds you were making, the waves of sweetness falling on his lips feeding his ego, filling him up with pride. By the time the night was over, you'd be unable to forget him. He would make sure of that. He would make you come, over and over, until the only thoughts left in your brain were of him, the only word your lips knew how to speak was his name. He would mark you, like a bloodstain, like you had done to him. 

Almost there, he almost had you. Your muscles were locking, your walls starting to tremble, when a loud crack resonated over his head, and you stepped away on unstable legs, breathing hard. You didn't even need to breathe, it was just his effect on you. He made you feel human. And it was both exhilarating, and terrifying. 

You took another step back, but he took hold of your ankle, tugging hard enough to make you fall on his lap, white skirt covering the place where his hands were fumbling with his zip, with his boxers, aligning himself with your entrance.

"Fuck!" He cursed, as you sank on his rock hard cock, not giving him any time to get used to the feeling of you around him, before starting to move. 

"How does it feel" You taunted, "fucking a monster? Is it as good as you dreamed of?"

Better. You felt even better. Tom hadn't thought it was possible, but he loathed you even more for it. 

"Shut up" He growled. 

You leaned forwards, breath hot against his ear,

"Cause you feel amazing, Tom. Your cock feels like heaven" 

His hand tangled in your hair, keeping you in place as he crashed his mouth to yours again, the other fumbling for the buttons at the back of your dress, tugging and pulling, tearing at the fabric, in his haste to feel more. More of your skin against his, more of the body that had been his hyper fixation for far too long. 

You sat up, still grinding on his cock, letting the tattered dress fall to your waist, watching in satisfaction as his eyes went wide, zeroing on the way your breasts bounced in sync with your hips. 

Reaching up, for a glorious second Tom could feel one perfect pebbled nipple against his palm, the roundness, the weight of your soft flesh on his fingers; before an invisible force pinned his hands to his sides. 

You tsked.

"Still don't get it, do you little hunter? This?" You let yourself fall all the way down his thick cock, hard, tearing twin moans from his mouth and yours, "This isn't about you. This is about me." 

Leaning back, you braced yourself on his strong thighs, changing the angle, changing your movements to a slower rocking against his pelvis. The friction against your clit was perfect, the feeling of his big, throbbing dick so deep inside you, stretching you like no one before, sending electrical pulses through your spine. It was decadent. It was ecstasy.

It was torture. Underneath you, Tom was sobbing, eyes bright with unshed tears, fighting in vain against his bonds. He needed it faster, harder, anything to help tilt him over the edge you were keeping him on, your sweet cunt too tight, too good around him to allow his cock to soften, your rhythm too leisured to let the tensed, strained coil inside him to snap. You were uncaring, using him remorselessly to get yourself off, your little moans getting higher in pitch the closer you came to your climax. Tom felt himself getting higher just by looking at your beautiful pleasure ridden face. You cried out, and suddenly it was happening, you were coming, pulsating around his cock, falling apart on top of him.

And the ground beneath him quaked. The sky above his head bled, the blue twilight torn open by lightning, and thunder, despite the fact that there wasn't a single cloud marring its diaphaneity. You fell forwards, hand braced on the tree, next to his face, ridding the aftershocks of your orgasm until the end. 

"No!" Tom cried when, after a few seconds of catching your breath, you dismounted him, letting his dick slip out of you. 

You arched a brow,

"Something you want, Tommy?" 

He locked his mouth shut, gritting his teeth. You smiled, amused, knuckles stroking his still iron hard cock.

"Do you need more, little hunter?" You enveloped him in your hand, moving it up and down his member, watching the head disappear under his foreskin, "Do you need to come?"

He banged the back of his head against the bark.

"Yes!" He finally admitted, "So badly…"

"Then beg" You commanded, stilling your hand. He snapped open the eyes he hadn't realized he had closed. Oh, if looks could kill…

"Never" He hissed, livid.

"Very well, then" You picked up your pace, pumping him fast, your grip almost too rough. He gasped for air, feeling the telltale tightening of his balls, the coil inside just about to break under the tension. But you must have felt it too, cause your hand let go of him altogether. Too late, he understood what you were doing.

One beat. And then another, and he was coming all over his t-shirt, orgasm completely ruined. 

He cursed, tears escaping through the corner of his eyes, fingers digging into the moist ground under his hands. You chuckled, cruelly, standing up and stepping out of your shredded dress. He could have ganked you with the demon blade in that moment, he really could have, except his hands were still pinned by an invisible force at his sides. 

"Let me go, you bitch," Tom growled, tossing, fighting against his restraints to no avail, "aren't you done?!"

"Not quite." You smiled, mockingly sweet, "Just one more thing before I leave. Don't worry, it will only hurt for a minute…"

He renewed his efforts to escape, as you bended over, reaching for his chest, white hot pain burning through his ribs. He almost cried out, but what he saw stole the voice from his throat, turned his blood into ice inside his veins, leaving him shaking, jaw slack and mouth open in a soundless scream: 

You, naked and gorgeous and terrible. Transfixed, eyes glowing with a supernatural indigo light, the shadow of two massive, bended, broken wings projected on the trees behind you.

Not a demon, he thought. You're not a demon.

You smiled, and it was terrifying.

"No. I'm the thing demons have nightmares about" You replied out loud to the words he had only said in his mind, "And now, little hunter, you belong to me. Mind, body and soul"

[beomglocks]

in the morning ; k.th

summary : taehyun tries to keep you safe from the world’s wandering eyes.

pairing : yandere!taehyun x “captive” s/o!reader

warnings & other : angst (?), blood, there’s a dead person, yes the body is described (not in too much detail), enclosed spaces, dehumanization (?), honestly ignore the title i didnt know what to call this

w/c : 1.7k

your bedroom door creaks open allowing a sliver of light to shine onto your bed and down on to your face. you scrunch your face in frustration but merely turn over to face the wall to continue your peaceful slumber.

a finger pokes at your face annoyingly and you swat at it to leave you alone. "my love, wake up," you hear someone whisper.

you groan but make no indications that you'll be listening to the annoying voice in your head. you feel something cold drift across your face and down your neck which makes you shiver. when you bring your hand up to your neck to pull it away, you flinch and sit up quickly.

"ow!" you inspect your hand which now has a large bleeding gash from gripping whatever was on your neck. now that you're semi fully awake, you look up to see taehyun. great, he's back from doing whatever it is he does at this godforsaken time. you wonder if it's a normal day when he's home but no- you know there's a reason why he's in your room right now.

"i wouldn't have gripped that like that if i were you," he snickers playfully. you look down at what he's holding and frown at him. "what...did you put a knife to my neck?" crazy bastard, you knew something would go wrong whenever he was within 10 centimeters of you.

"had to wake up the sleeping beauty somehow," he grins. his face immediately goes stony and he grabs your hand, looking at the aftermath of his actions. it scares you how quickly he could change his expression. sometimes you weren't sure how to act around him because you weren't sure how he would react.

"im sorry though, i'll clean it up right away." he quickly gets up and grabs some alcohol and tissues that are laying around, and rushes back to you.

"so no light today?" you ask quietly while he cleans the wound skillfully. he stays quiet for a moment and you're about to ask him the question again in case he didn't hear you but he soon speaks up.

"n-no not today.. i don't wanna be seen like this. it could scare you," he laughs dryly. he scrubs your hands with more haste now, afraid that you'll take initiative to turn on the lights.

you sigh. how considerate of him however it's not like you haven't seen him with blood splattered across his glass skin before. it wasn't out of the ordinary to see him like this after all. your room only has a tiny window above the bed and you couldn't even look out from it since it was too high. the only light that was available to you was the moonlight. unfortunely it didn't even reach far enough to shine down on taehyun to give you the luck of seeing him.

"when are you going to stop this?" you ask mostly to yourself. "i'll stop when it gets through people's heads that you're mine."

he grips your injured hand as the anger of what he had to witness today comes rushing back to his memories. "t-tae my hand," you wince.

he loosens his grip just a little bit, enough for you to not feel that much pain but obviously, it still hurts. god, you really wish he wasn't here right now.

"why...why did he- it's his fault you know. it's not like i wanted to kill him," he says. you can hear the anxiety in his voice and it makes you want to comfort him a little bit. only a small part of your brain feels bad for his current mental state but that's only because of how kind taehyun was to you way before well- this. somewhere in you, you hope that he will change but you know he's too far gone at this point.

"he had it coming though," taehyun smiles, looking down at your wound. "he should've known not to mess with other people's property." you clench your jaw at his words. it's unfortunate how taehyun doesn't see you as a human anymore, only an object for him to keep enclosed in a glass case, like some china doll.

"you're not entirely innocent y/n," he grits. he grips your hand purposely and you let a tear roll down your face now. "taehyun you're hurting me," you manage to choke out. he pouts mockingly at your plea.

"you hurt me and you hurt that guy i had to kill," he says in a matter of fact tone. "when he said hi you should've just kept your mouth shut but no you just had to make conversation and let him hug you like some-"

he cuts himself off before he can say something that he might have to force himself to apologize for later. you both sit in silence minus your ragged breaths mixed with his heavy ones.

"you killed him," he says simply. "what?" you breathe out. "you killed him y/n! if you had just focused on me like i focus on you then i wouldn't have been forced to kill him like i did."

"taehyun i-"

"go say sorry," he sighs. you look at him bewildered but it only takes you a moment to realize what he means. "taehyun," you sob. you don't want to say that you can't believe he brought a dead body home but the sad fact is that you can believe it. he mustve had no where to hide it once he was done. taehyun is not one to make empty threats. he chuckles, shaking his head, "go say sorry to your friend."

he tries to pull you from the bed but you cling onto the bedsheets, adamant about not moving. "what so now you don't want to give him the time of day? earlier you seemed just so over the damn moon speaking with him!" he shouts.

you shake your head frantically. you want to speak, to reason with him, but nothing comes out your mouth other than choked sobs. "don't be like that, it's for your own good. now let's go," he says.

this time he uses all his force to rip you from your hold on the bed. "my love...im gonna teach you something about respect," taehyun speaks lowly. his monotone voice sends chills throughout your frigid body. you kick and scream and punch his back, hoping that you can shake him enough to let you go but nothing you do phases him.

he walks through the house with you slung over his shoulder for about a minute before stopping in front of the jacket closet. he sets you down as gently as he can in front of it and you stare blankly at it, not ready to face whatever is inside.

"it goes both ways," he finishes. you hesitantly look up at him, finally seeing his face for the first time since earlier today. you flinch when you notice just how much blood is scattered over his face. the kill must've been brutal enough to send that many splatters of blood flying.

"don't look at me, look at him. don't be disrespectful," he says. when you turn back towards the closet you flinch harshly at the sight. the guy whom you spoke to earlier was now slumped over in your closet. you remember how lively he was when speaking to you but now his skin was completely drained of life and pale in color. his lips were dry, probably from trying to heave in air to try to live. you're afraid to further gaze at the body because the further down you go the worse it gets. so much so that it's practically dosed in blood.

"say it, say you're sorry!" he commands. you know that you're not really saying sorry to the dead man in your closet. taehyun wants you to say sorry to him. you know he couldn't care less about this man. he wants you to regret putting him in the position to kill another human being.

"i-im- im-" taehyun sucks teeth impatiently. "if you don't say it naturally i will lock you in here all night. i don't want to do that so you better do it right."

a noise leaves your throat when he shoves you closer to the body. you whine, trying your best to control your voice and tears. "i-" your voice gets weak but you use every bit of force in you to say it. you don't wanna risk having to stay in that closet all night.

"im sorry," you blurt. you hear taehyun chuckle behind you, satisfied for now. "was that so hard?"

"y/n you're mine and only mine. i feel so livid when others so much as look in your direction, do you understand?" he says calmly. you nod, already wanting to be back in your bed, under the covers, away from all of this.

you hear taehyun hum and suddenly you're shoved into the closet. it catches you so off guard that your body slams into the dead one. you yell in panic and scramble as far away from it as possible. "taehyun! w-what's going on?!" you call out.

the closet is so dark when it's closed that you can't even see anything. atleast you know you're not near the body. "y/n- i-i'm doing this because i love you ok?" he says uncertainly. "this way no one can look at you or talk to you and try to seduce you."

you bang on the door, your heart beating with each slam. "p-please let me out," you plead weakly. you already know that once taehyun has done something he doesn't change his mind so it's no use trying to reason. "i-im scared- please."

he stays silent for a moment and you're about to burst into tears again thinking that he's already left but he speaks up after a couple beats of contemplative silence.

"don't be scared ok y/n. you'll be fine. i'm going to come back for you in the morning." he goes silent again and all you can hear is your heavy breathing and wet sniffles. "please don't be too mad at me, i love you," you hear him whisper before you hear his footsteps retreat.

the night is spent without much sleep and your fist pounding at the closet door, hoping for an early release but it never comes.

[just-a-creep-babe]

I'm back?? Creeps with a really go with the flow, devil-may-care, Not afraid of death, Chill SO? [EX: *meets creeps* Wow, okay, this is my life now I guess. || Same stuff as always! *helps hide body* || You wanna fly into the Bermuda triangle and live to stream it? Heck yeah, she'll bring spicy sour patch kids. || Don't worry! I'm still in shock! Can't feel a thing! || '*does something stupid* we survived? Brilliant. Love it when that happens. ] Thanks!♡

~Requests are closed but commissions are open~

Masterlist: x

Slenderman

Jfc—why?

He’s already worried about litcherally everyone else in the mansion, now you too?

He is Quite Concerned™️

Lowkey more concerned for you over the others but that’s a given tbh

Honestly questions how tf you’ve manage to make it this far without dying

He makes it his personal mission to keep you safe at all costs—no matter what

So on the bright side, you sort of inherit this ancient eldritch being as a personal bodyguard!

But on the not-so bright side, said being just doesn’t let ya have any fun around here >:/

Will physically restrain you from doing something stupid so you don’t get caught up in anything dangerous

Starts considering giving you a curfew or smthg because even he can’t keep up with the stuff you get pulled into

But he respects you too much for that, ofc, so he just begrudgingly accepts that you’ll keep doing you—no matter how irresponsible or dangerous it might be :”)

Still loves you despite the heart attacks you nearly put him through every other day :)

Jeff the Killer

This 👏mans 👏will 👏love 👏you 👏forever 👏

At first, admittedly, he’s a teensy bit put off by your nonchalance because how can someone actually be that laid back all the time??

But once he adjusts to it & realizes that you aren’t, in fact, faking it for whatever reason, he’ll be completely & utterly enamored with you

Like,, he can do a bunch of stupid shit & drag you along into it & you won’t freak out??

Sign 👏him 👏up 👏

Loves not having to worry about you sanity tbh—there’s no need to hide all the dangerous crap he does because he knows you won’t worry ^^

And homeboy most definitely will take advantage of your go-with-the-flow nature

He’s got a taste for danger & doing stupid shit—how could he not bring you along with him?

If/when y’all get caught & put in trouble tho, he’ll take the blame so that you don’t suffer for something that was most likely his idea

Jeff? Doing the right thing? It may be more likely than you think 🤔

It still sometimes unnerves him just how chill you are with everything, but hey, he can’t let you outdo him in badass-ness, so he’s guaranteed to incite plenty of chaos to prove himself; it’s bound to be an exciting time uwu

BEN Drowned

Oh he is sO down

One of the perks of being dead? He probably can’t die again

So there are absolutely no limits to the insane shenanigans he’s willing to pull off

The fact that you’re just as down to clown makes thing so much better

It gets to the point where someone constantly needs to keep an eye on the both of you so you don’t accidentally end up dying

Cause BEN (and bless his soggy soul) as much as he loves you, tends to forget how fragile human beings can be

So it’s up to the others to make sure your lack of self-preservation doesn’t get you killed

But your fearlessness & nonchalance is like a breath of fresh air!

Things can get a teensy bit boring when you’re immortal, so he’s more than happy to have a badass s/o by his side who’s down for pretty much anything uwu

Y’all get into a bunch of stupid, dangerous & probably illegal shit—but he wouldn’t want it any other way 😘

Eyeless Jack

Similar to Slendaddy, this mans is Concerned™️

He will constantly check you over to see if you need to get patched up because he knows you’re a danger magnet

But at the same time, he doesn’t wanna be too overbearing

Like he definitely has this live & let live mentally (prolly in part due to his diet) so he‘ll try not to bring up too often how nervous he is about your safety & well-being

You’ve accepted him as he is, part demon and all, so he feels like he owes you the same

Even if it does scare the shit out of him because my god what have you gotten yourself into this time??

He’s kinda like a worried mom tbh—he’ll pack you up a lunch & send you off with a “be safe, don’t do anything dangerous, say no to drugs,” and stuff, even despite knowing you probably won’t listen

Homeboy just wants you to grow & experience the world for yourself :”)

Still, he’ll ask the others to keep an eye out for you & to not put you in too much danger

And he’ll totally sometimes follow you from the shadows just to make sure you’re staying safe skdjsjdlsjl

He’s a protective demon boi, what can I say? :)

Masky

He’s,,,, pretty impressed actually

Thinks your nonchalant attitude is kinda badass

Of course he still gets worried, but he’s also prone to forgetting how fragile most people are

His pain tolerance is pretty dang high, so he doesn’t always realize certain things can hurt normal people. Badly

He’ll feel super bad if you get injured with him, but at least homeboy will try to make it up by giving you plenty of sweets & cuddles uwu

He might try to give you a stern talking-to so that you’re more careful, but he knows it won’t stop you from being you

Still, overall, he thinks it’s pretty sweet that you’re down for, like, anything

Will probably wanna take you with him for jobs sometimes—just cause he can & it probably won’t traumatize you too bad :>

Just don’t tell slender

Thinks his bold little s/o is damn cool & lowkey brags abt you all the time uwu

Hoodie

He thinks it’s pretty funny lmfaoo

Is torn between being worried & wanting you safe while also desperately wanting to just be like “fuck it” and do a bunch of stupid shit with you :”)

Will probably take advantage of how you don’t worry much to tag you along in his shenanigans

But at least he’ll make your safety & comfort his utmost top priority uwu

Honestly, he admires how chill you are with shit that’s pretty traumatizing—it’s almost funny that you’re just as brave as he is, considering his line of work and all

It’s,, kinda intriguing to him; homeboy will maybe wanna psychoanalyze you a lil 👀👉👈

You’re just so interesting, he can’t help but be a smidge fascinated 👁👄👁

Really wants to be able to make some good, wild memories with you <3

He’s honestly the perfect balance of protective & adventurous at the same time

Just wants to please his little s/o and keep them safe & happy while fulfilling their need for wild shenanigans :>

Ticci Toby

Oh boy

He is the same

Together, y’all are chaotic af

The creeps know not to leave you unsupervised because shit will go down

The utmost chaotic duo in need of constant watching over & patching up ngl 😅

Seriously, the others are damn near always worried about babysitting you two because you’re both danger magnets

And it doesn’t help that Toby has no concept of danger and/or pain

He’ll try to be super sympathetic if/when you do get injured, but poor boy will be clueless af as to how to help

So more often than not, he’ll end up using himself as a human shield to protect you from danger to make up for it

Either way, y’all get into so much shit, it’s unbelievable

Kinda perfect together but like,, in the worst of ways lmfaooo

[missallsundayyy]

Breaking Boundaries

First oneshot for my first post here and there’s no better ship/pair i’d rather write than Nico Robin & Roronoa Zoro

Things were lively on the Sunny Go as usual. Franky was upgrading the canons on the ship, Chopper and Ussop were being...well...being them as usual. Luffy was bugging Sanji in the kitchen asking/whining when was lunch going to be served and in his words.

"foooooooood SANJIIIIIIIIIIIII!!" the famous straw hat captain yelled from the other side of the kitchen.

"SHUT UP YOU RUBBER GLUTTON"

Nami was focusing on the weather and the sea behavior, navigating the crew to their next destination whilst Brook was beside her asking if he could see her panties in which he received a punch that sent him flying through the ship's walls. Thus starting a fight with the shipswright that was just beside the wall that was destroyed.

"WATCH WHERE YOU LAND ASSHOLE!!!" Franky screamed out.

"Yohoho!! don't get your panties in a twist Franky-sannn"

Aside from all the chaos was the crew's infamous swordsman, Zoro whom was doing impossible training once again. Lifting weights that no humans could ever lift.

"890...891...892.."

He grunts out in training, muscles flexing, his body coated with sweat. He did this everyday at the same spot the moment the sun starts to rise until Sanji calls them for lunch. Not far from the green-haired man.....well in fact maybe 5metres away from him was the ship's beautiful archeologist Nico Robin. Seated as usual on her umbrella armchair with a book on hand. 

She was wearing her spaghetti strap purple tank top that did no effort to cover her large breast and a very small tight fitting jean shorts. It was a very hot day at that, she had put her hair up in a ponytail which was rare because usually she prefered her hair down. Even though it was scorching hot outside and she could just retreat into her room where it would definitely be cooler but it was out of habit that she situated herself here when she read.

She’s elated to be where she was right now. Doing what she loved and surrounded by nakamas that accepted her, cared for her, protected her and loved her. She would give her life 100 million times over for the Straw Hats without a second thought. Back at Enies Lobby she was afraid that that they would find her a burden, a thorn in the flesh even when they proved that they will fight the whole world fearlessly for her. Comparing then and now she was flabbergasted at how many things have changed. Everyone has gotten stronger, more matured. The bond Robin shared with the crew was strong that not even God can sever it, that she was certain for.

Her mind wandered everywhere and anywhere, she wasn't even focusing on the book she was reading anymore. She summarised everything in her head with a content look on her face.

The sounds of Zoro's grunting and counting snapped Robin back to reality, her eyes diverted to the green haired crew member. Her eyes shamelessly stared at his god like body that was now glistening in sweat due to the monstrous work out he does everyday. His muscles was amazing, his abs was rock hard and his chest looked like steel plates had been implanted in him. His face was fierce and focus, never losing concentration.

Zoro was a very very veryyy handsome man, that was what Robin had always thought even when she first joined the crew. She knew he was a very powerful man and a dangerous one at that, the crew was blessed to have such interesting and indestructible members and Roronoa Zoro was one of them. He had many cons to him...well according to Nami and Sanji's list. He sleeps too much, he was too direct with his words so more often than not he always comes off as an "asshole". He drinks too much when he isn't sleeping or training and to top the icing on the cake, he couldn't find his way to the ship's toilet even if his bladder depended on it.

Robin however found him to be interesting as hell and even charming most times. How he was always the calm one amongst all of them and he was a very wise man that stick by his words. He was a strong man with honour and pride. He will no doubt be the type to keep a promise even if will be his demise. Robin didn't know she had a type until she met Zoro, the more time she has with the swordsman the larger her attraction for him grew.

Having a lover has never came across her mind, not that she wasn't interested in intimate relations before, it just never came up until she found herself glancing at him more than she should. Also the automatic position of their area happened to be beside each other every day so there was not much of a choice in that matter. She snapped back yet again to reality still staring at the handsome swordsman, she wouldn't admit it but internally she was swooning over his very very shredded body.

"Oi oi Robin, your staring is bothering me. You should read at your room today, your face is red from the weather right now."  Zoro called out to Robin who was unintentionally caught gawking at him although being the dense man he was, he of course would have not though that she was checking him out.

Zoro had placed all this training equipments down and was now walking towards the self fantasising historian that still had her eyes glued onto him. He walked a few steps towards Robin and stood beside her, taking her lemonade drink right from her side table and gulping all of it down with greed-thirst sounds.  This was another normal thing between them, she would have her drink but she would never drink any of it because before she could, he would always finish it up unless she had coffee. He never did understood how she could swallow the damn bitter beverage. She also was starting to think that subconsciously she would bring the drink for him instead of her.

"Zoro-kun. Sorry for bothering your training  but I don't mind a little heat today and besides the weather has been quite gloomy these past weeks, don't you agree?" Robin held her face with her palm, her usual signature posture. She now sat upright never breaking her stare.

"Rain or shine won't hinder me from my training." Zoro stated simply.

"Fufufu, yet my staring has disturbed your workout?" Robin teased him.

"Tch. You've been doing that a lot lately woman." he turned his head away, folding his arms. Ever since the crew reunited after being seperated for two years, Zoro had noticed Robin's change the most. She had gotten stronger, wiser and more matured in many different aspects.

She would tease him or outsmart him in their little chats which irate the man but in a good way.

"I was thinking if I could company you on watch today if you don't mind." Robin asked hopefully.

Zoro turned his head back to her "Sure. You can do can do whatever you want woman. Let's go to the kitchen already, bet that love cook will start yelling for us anytime soon." he was already walking towards the kitchen but in a pace that told her that he would be walking with her and not just leaving her like that. She smiled and followed him.

"ROBIN CHWANNN! You're looking veryyyyy SEXYYY TODAY!! The lunch I have prepared for you today is just as hot and spicy as you are!!!" Sanji greeted Robin that had walked in with Zoro whom by the way Sanji had not scoop his share onto a plate yet.  Robin smiled at the flirtatious cook.

"That's very kind of you cook-san, this looks delicious. As always your culinary skills are impressive." Robin replied politely, frankly only Robin would acknowledge Sanji's aggressively manic compliments. 

"Tch. Stupid love cook." Zoro muttered under his breath which didn't went unheard by the cook of course.

"What??? YOU WANNA GO ASSHOLE?"

"I WON'T WASTE MY TIME WITH THE LIKES OF YOU"

"YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS THAT ROBIN IS COMPLIMENTING ME INSTEAD OF YOU"

"WHY WOULD I BE JEALOUS OF YOU, YOU'RE A BIGGER CLOWN THAN THAT RED NOSE BUGGY"

The fight between the two men continued while the crew watched on amused, nothing new on the ship.

"HEY LUFFY THAT'S MY FRUIT PUNCH DON'T DRINK IT"

"Cmmonnnnnn Chopper give me some, I'm lazy to go refill..."

Chopper and Luffy both had their hands on the cup that was filled with the cool drink and they both were playing tug rope with the cup and well unfortunately for them the cup had tipped and all of its contents is now spilling at the person that was sitting in the middle of them. That person was......Robin.

*SPLASH*

The room was now silent, Sanji and Zoro's bickering was on hold because of the light spill sound that interrupted everyone.

"Oh shit.." Franky muttered

The red beverage was now seeping through Robin's tank top. Her chest and thighs was now covered with the sweet drink and it was dripping. Robin looked down at her now soiled clothing.

"Oh my.." was all she said.

"Robinnn....im sorry!! I didn't..we didn't mean to ruin your clothes!!" Chopper started exclaiming, feeling guilty. "OI LUFFY! This is your fault you know!! APOLOGISE TO ROBIN NOW!"

Luffy had one hand behind his head, scratching while having a goofy grin "Sorry Robin it was an accident...please don't be mad"

"SERIOUSLY. Why can't the men in this crew behave like proper men in FOR ONCE! You guys are barbaric and I don't know how two beautiful women like me and and Robin got stuck with you guys!!" This time the screaming and yelling was now coming from the ship's navigator.

Robin wasn't mad, in fact she enjoyed all their shenanigans. The crew made life fun, they make her feel alive and everyday she will always have a smile on her face. "It's okay Luffy its okay Chopper. I will go and change into a new shirt." she said with a laughter.

"Well there you go Nami, you heard Robin. She's not mad so I don't see why you're all worked up." Franky joined in to which he received a death glare from the money obsessed pirate.

In the midst of the whole conversation Zoro had been staring at Robin's wet stained shirt accident. Everyone was too busy bickering with each other they had failed to notice that the water just made Robin's voluptuous figure even more prominent. The outline of her huge breast could be seen through the god damn tank top and the fruit punch was still dripping down her cleavage and most of it had splashed onto her thick thighs.

He didn't know what he was doing but he liked what he was seeing. Robin was a beautiful woman and he knew that. She had the perfect curves and her assets were anything but small. She had matured into a sexy woman and he could never deny that. The sight that she had unintentionally presented him with was very fucking pleasing to his eyes. His eyes glued to her soft skin and the way the water would drip down her cleavage because she was laughing and causing her chest to move tentalizingly. He knew she wasn't doing it on purpose but she was sexy without even trying. He shook his head and tried to clear the dirty thoughts that was now forming in his mind 'Why the hell am I thinking about her like that' his mind yelled at him.

"Well excuse me, I am going to take a bath since the punch has made my body all sticky now." Robin stood up and walked towards the door. Sanji on the other hand had knock both Luffy and Chopper's head while yelling something like 'Look what you guys did!' 'Robin-chan's lunch is ruined' 'assholes'

-BOOOOOOOOOMMM-

A loud crash was heard 1 minute after Robin had exited the kitchen. Zoro and Sanji both had dashed out of the door in a fighting stance-run. 

"Whats' going on now!!" Nami yelled.

"Looks like Luffy fell asleep" Franky muttered in half disbelief and half lazed tone.

"ROBIN CHANNN!! ARE YOU OKAY?" Sanji yelled frantically.

Zoro had drawn his katana out ready to slice anyone whom had dared to attack their ship and more importantly Robin.

"So this is the infamous Strawhat crew everyone has been talking about?? You don't seem much if i managed to cuff your deliciously beautiful crewmate here. If i know you guys had such a sexy pirate lady, we would have attacked you sooner!" The malicious voice came from Captain Deck from the Sink Pirates; notorious for sinking every ship they come across with. He was however not interested in woman and was quick to carry Robin and throwing her off the Sunny Go to everyone's horror.

"ROBIN NNNN!!" Chopper and Nami's voiced chorus together,

"ROBIN -CHWANNNN! YOU SHITTY BASTARD HOW DARE YOU TOUCH THE LADIES OF THIS SHIP I WILL POUND YOU UNTIL YOUR INSIDES COME OUT ASSHOLE!!" Sanji shouted with fire engulfing his whole body.

Zoro of course had already jumped in right after Robin was thrown into the sea. His first priority was definitely saving his nakama. Slicing every last one of his enemy would later be the second priority. He dived deep and because he immediately jump in right when Robin was thrown in, she hadn't sink too far for his vision. She was still conscious, eyes wide with shocked with everything that has transpired. He could understand her fear, you can be the strongest fighter with the best abilities but its all over if you get thrown into the water. Her hands was desperately reaching for Zoro. She knew she was safe, drowning in the sea or not, she had her nakama protecting her and always having her back.

He grabbed Robin's hand and pulled her into his body and quickly swam back up in full speed. When they reached the surface, he found himself swimming to an island, the Sunny Go and his crewmates were no where in sight. Now he was just confused, how the hell did he got all the way here now. He now carried Robin bridal style whilst walking on shore since she was weakened by the effects of the sea water.

He lay her down on the grass part of the island and stood up to survey their foreign surroundings.

"Oi woman you okay?" he asked her with concern although he wasn't facing her. Robin who now had herself up on her feet.

"Thank you Zoro-kun, i'm better now." Robin said smiling even if he wasn't looking to see it. "However, seems like we're stranded in here. How did you find this island?" she was already walking around surveying the flowers, sand, grass and anything that might tell her where they were. He scratched the back of his head, "I don't know how we end up here, my priority was only getting you out of the sea and next thing i know, i got us here." he said with a tone of frustration.

'ara...so this is how he looks like whenever we get seperated' Robin's amusing thoughts caused her to laugh behind him. He snapped his head to her "What's so funny woman" to which Robin smile "Nothing. Lets explore this island together, i'm sure Luffy and the others are already nearby." she suggested to which Zoro just grunted in agreement.

The both of them then ventured into the thick jungle of the island.

Meanwhile back at the Sunny Go.

"Geez you can definitely count on Zoro to be lost even when the ship was right above him." Franky grumbled while the crew set sailed for the island Ussop had spotted.

"That shitty asshole took Robin-chwann away! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME THAT SAVED HER AND WOULD PROBABLY BE ON THAT ISLAND WITH A VERY WET RO-" Sanji fainted from nose-bleed before he could finish his sentence.

"SANJIIIIII!!!" Chopper ran towards his perverted nakama.

"Leave him to die Chopper, he propably don't mind dying" Nami said while shaking her head.

"YOSH! FULL SPEED AHEAD TO THAT MEAT ISLAND MEN!" Luffy yelled to his crewmates.

"Oi oi what do you mean meat island" Ussop replied, "And we can leave stupidity to our captain. Zoro and Robin are missing and there he goes thinking about food" he finished leaving Nami and Chopper nodding their heads vigorously. Luffy laughed "Don't worry! They're strong and i'm not worried."

-BACK TO THE UNKNOWN ISLAND-

"Perhaps the plants here spit poison that could kill you in a second or maybe the soil might swallow you whole the moment you step on it." Robin said voicing her thoughts outloud.

"Oi Robin stop saying things like that." Zoro chastised the historian for always saying dark things.

"Fufufu sorry Zoro-kun." Robin giggled into her palm. 

"By the way......” he started “Robin,i'mgladyou'refineafter2years."

Zoro managed to choke all the words out as fast as he could. He was not one with sweet words but he somehow felt that before the seperation he was very cold with Robin out of all the members of the crew.

It had to do with the whole ‘Miss All Sunday’ business but now when he looked at her, it was as if everything in the past didn't matter anymore.Robin on the other hand was taken aback by his words, she would be lucky to get a grunt out of the swordsman but he was initiating a conversation first and to top that off, he was telling her how he was glad that SHE was okay.

"I'm happy to hear that. You've grown handsomely in two years Zoro-kun" She replied him with a genuine smile. His face instantly reddened from embarasssment. There she goes again, he thought. Always saying things like that and now he looks like a cat just bit his tongue.

"W..we..well you'vegrownbigtoO!"

Robin laughed aloud "Are you saying that i’m fat Zoro-kun?" she stopped abruptly nearly making him crash behind her.

"What!" he panicked. Now these are one of her antics to get him all flustered.

"You said i've grown big, so does that mean I’m fat to you Zoro-kun?" She asked him with an innocent smile, teasing him was her favourite things to do.

"You know what I mean woman." Zoro grunted frustratedly, face still heated up. She? Fat? Farrr from it he thought. Her figure was amazing, perfect if he may be so bold to say.

"So after 2years of not seeing me, thaaat....is the only thing you noticed? I think cook-san has influenced you abit." This has got to definitely get THE reaction Robin was waiting for.

“IM NOTHING LIKE THAT SHITTY BASTARD OF A COOK AND YOU KNOW IT WOMAN!!" Robin laughed at his predictable reaction. "I'm joking Mr Swordsman." And there the nicknames comes again, this woman knew how to push his buttons well.

Then Robin did the unthinkable, she put her hands on her waist and came closer to Zoro and with a low sultry voice with a pose that would drive Sanji into his grave from nosebleed.

"So am I big enough or is there anything else I can change....for you Zoro-kun" Robin said suggestively. She have to admit whilst she finally have people to call her nakama she needed more. She wants that intimate attention just like every  woman. Intimacy wasn’t something she even had time for in the past, it never crossed her mind to romance with men. Now that she’s comfortable and know she has a place to call home, why the hell not.

Now he was just as red a beet, he didn't know why Robin was being flirty with him. She was usually the quiet one, calm, collected and only commented on things when it was necessary. Then again she was the only woman ironically that he didn’t mind invading his personal space. She and him was always in the same room in the ship every damn time and it wasn’t even planned nor did they ever agreed to always have each other’s back. He had always protected Robin, he would be there, ready to cut her enemies. Just like on sky island and fishmen island, as long as he’s around her he will put his life on the line for her

It wasn’t that he wouldn’t do the same for the crew but when he does save her, he feels something for her, he don’t know what he felt but he felt his pride and ego semi boosted from it. It was as if he wanted to impress her and show off how strong he was when she was around him. Maybe because all her life she was used to everyone betraying her or maybe she never had anyone protecting her. If she needed him to tell her that she wanted his protection, he would proudly declare that he will always protect and care for her.

Since she was graciously being so near him, his good eye clearly did not miss everything Robin had to offer. She was obviously testing the waters like this and eventhough he wasn't THAT type of man but he will be THAT if she wants it so bad. He will gladly play along with her game afterall he didn't enjoy being dominated like this.

Zoro grabbed Robin's waist roughly and pressed her figure with his hard and he brought his mouth against her ears.

"You better stop that Robin because i don’t think I can stop myself after this " Zoro growled with his grip tightening on her waist and back. That was an indefinite warning, he was ready to drop the whole ‘nakama’ thing and fuck her right there if she insisted on being a minx. Amazing that they had the whole island to themselves, amazing that his bad sense of direction got just the both of them alone, amazing that his crew wasn’t here to interrupt this moment and lastly Nico Robin was and amazing woman. His mind was flooded with thoughts of her and he thought he was going insane.

“I don’t want you to stop Zoro.” Her voice was filled with want, need, lust and when he looked into her eyes he knew that she only wanted HIM and he was the only one she trusted her body with. Right now her eyes was an open book and he could read every thoughts she had going through in her head.

Mentally he was battling a war, he shouldn’t be indulging in this but he knew he wanted this so bad he could kill someone.

 “Not here Robin.” It had took all of his will power to seperate him and Robin, all that lust and need. Trust him he really wanted to take her right there and then but... “Fufufu, that’s very considerate and sweet of you.”

[zbabyboo]

The Only One - Zayn Malik 🦋

I couldn't understand how these girls could be so good in so many different ways and clothes, things it is crazy guys and I'm not kidding. In one of these pages I saw her the amazing top model Gigi Hadid. She's definitely perfect and right now I caught myself being that insecure girl. I mean I'm not insecure all the damn time or jealous but when you're boyfriend dated one of the most incredible and spectacular top models you can't kinda control it.

— Hey sweetheart what do you think about this one? - my boyfriend take my attention off of the magazine with his angelic and calm voice.

— I'm sorry what? I was distracted baby but I'm pretty sure you were perfect as always - I put the bestest smile I could give in that moment on and looked at that face, this man can kill everyone with this pretty face.

— Yeah you was distracted with some stuff in this magazine. What is that you are reading that take you're attention off of me and made your face so sad lovie? - he asked already trying to take the magazine off me and obviously I couldn't let he see what or who was the motive for me being so distracted and 'sad' in his words. So before he do that I hug him while lefting little kisses on his face.

— That's nothing important babe... Could I please saw what my boyfriend is working on? I'm excited for this Z - Zayn is like a kid when you talk about something they like and then they are very excited and making little jumps I'm not complain 'cause I could stay here and watch this for a long time.

☁️

We were at his kitchen making some arab foods one of my favorites – and Zayn's abilities – while listening his songs to be specific we are listening Let Me and I can't avoid my mind to think about the person behind this song. Don't judge me some days you are just like a little girl, insecure and thinking if you are enough and I'll make you sure when your boyfriend is famous these types of feelings come harder.

— Love you are worrying me and don't try make me think otherwise - he stoped me before I start make excuses - Y/N you aren't like this babe, you know you can talk 'bout anything with me, right? I'm you're boyfriend and before all I'm you're friend and that person who you can trust and will always be by your side. - he hold my hands with his and immediately interrupting my actions- So tell me what's wrong with you? What's going on?

— I'm feeling like a fool because this is so embarrassing and weird - I turned my face looking at the floor, trying to say the right thing and don't look like a dumb - Remember when earlier I was reading that magazine? Right in one of that pages was Gigi there and I know I shouldn't but I was feeling so bad and insufficient I know I don't have reasons Zayn - I interrupted him before he starts the same speech about being enough, loved and the only one - but she is so perfect, kind and the right one even you saying not. She's everything you deserves, lives in the same world that you live in and you know you two are a beautiful couple and to be honest I don't have idea why you are with me and I didn't want to be playing this role... Just forget it - I looked at the ingredients back blaming myself for being so stupid and speak a lot.

— Hey N/N look at me baby girl - he put his hands on my chin making me look at his face, at this moment my eyes was already watering I couldn't control my emotions - You don't need feel like this babe you know I love you like I never loved someone you are more than enough for me I'm lucky for have someone like you in my life and being my girl. Gigi is an amazing person and we really had good times together I appreciate all the memories we done and one of those is my little baby but it doesn't change what I feel about her. She's only a good friend I assume she is an important chapter in my life but it ended you are the beggining of another and I want you to be with me for the rest of my life. I want marry with you and make a family together. You are one of the reason for why I am happy you're who I always dreamed about and wished one day have. Hurt me seeing you like this because you will never know every single things you've done and do everyday for me. I love you like I never loved someone before sweetheart.

After this sweet words I can't handle my tears anymore and simply hugged him as tight as I can at that moment I was so vulnerable I looked like a child when is afraid and only their parents can calm them down. He is my safe harbor I couldn't ask for more. He was hugging me as tight as me and there I knew he is the love of my life even if it sounds so cliché I had almost sure my belly had butterflies flying and making me feel like a teenager girl with her first boyfriend.

— I love you so fuckin much Zayn - I didn't want to say nothing more at that moment just keep that mood and enjoy the time with my boyfriend. He clearly noticed it and don't asked me or said anything more only stayed hugging me for a long time while he was whispering sweet things close to my ear.

— I love you too baby bear - he left a soft kiss on my forehead squeezing me one more time before let me go and look at me with that smile which can make me fall in love every time I look - Let's make our food now babe? We don't wanna keep hungry, uh? - I smile sweetly at him lifting a little kiss on his thin lips.

— Let's start chef Malik.

~🦋

[ms-march]

Lyric Prompts from the LBL Playlists- Adrienne Fairfax

PROMPT LIST #1- there will be a total of four lists all made from the songs of the playlist in the description. These don’t have to be used specifically for the person/relationship in the playlist description, that’s just where the prompts came from!

You do not have to specifically use these only for LBL. I would be thrilled if you would Feel free to use this for any of your fics or OCs, genders can most definitely be changed (I just typed them as a copy and paste from the lysis page so)!!! You can tag me in them and I would be delighted to read any :)) and of course you can always send me some too!!!!

“I never was ready, so, I watch you go”

“She would have made such a lovely bride”

“I don’t know who I am, I barely know where I’ve been”

“I look up at the stars at night, and I sometimes wonder if the atheists were right”

“If I’m going to change things, I’m going to need a partner in crime”

“And though this getting worse, I don’t wanna spend a day in it without you”

“Am I allowed to look at her like that? Could it be wrong when she's just so nice to look at?”

“I'd never tell, no, I'd never say a word, and oh it aches.”

“She means everything to me”

“Even when she's next to me, we could not be more far apart”

“I will be ok admiring from afar”

“I knew you once, and it was nice.”

“I’ve never met a man who thinks so much like me that we say the same things at the same time”

“Your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear”

“Soon it will all be over, and buried with our past”

“We used to play outside when we were young and full of life and full of love”

“They say when it rains it pours, but a light drizzle for now is fine for me”

“I'm okay with feeling nothing, but I feel nothing if you don't feel it too”

“My life's a beautiful nothing, but it's nothing if not shared with you”

“I don't mind the pain if my lungs burn with you”

“Though I don’t know where I’m going, I know what I’m doing, and I hope you’ll be there for me”

“Our self-destructive nature is all that we have ever known”

“Those summer nights seem long ago”

“You always take it further than I ever can”

“I understand, I'm a liability”

“The truth is I am a toy that people enjoy 'til all of the tricks don't work anymore, and then they are bored of me”

“That moment again, he's insisting that friends look at each other like that”

“Sometimes giving up is the strong thing”

“I gave it my all, he gave me nothing at all”

“Sometimes to run is the brave thing”

“The snaps from the same little breaks in my soul”

“I know when it's time to go”

“Her smile makes it hard to be mad it's not her fault that I'm so fucking sad”

“There's a beauty in knowing your place in the world, in loving yourself and knowing your worth”

“The truth begins to show”

“Lover, hunter, friend and enemy, you will always be every one of these”

“You and I, always in disguises”

“In life, in love, this time I can't afford to lose”

“You don’t understand, it’s all part of a plan”

“You're so ambitious for a juvenile”

“If you're so smart tell me, why are you still so afraid?”

“Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?”

“But you know that when the truth is told that you can get what you want, or you can just get old”

“Slow down you're doing fine, you can't be everything you want to be before your time”

“Too bad, but it's the life you lead”

“Don't you know that only fools are satisfied?”

“You belong among the wildflowers”

“The world has stood against us, made us mean to fight for you”

“You belong on a boat out at sea”

“Run away, go find a lover”

“The New York streets are just as busy as they used to be”

“You belong somewhere close to me”

“You always knew the melody but you never heard it rhyme”

“Sail away, kill off the hours”

“ all the wonders I have seen I will see a second time from inside of the ages through your eyes”

“You belong with your love on your arm”

“Welcome to the end of being alone inside your mind”

“Run away, let your heart be your guide”

“You're nothing short of magical and beautiful to me”

“When someone tells you they love you, you’re going to believe them”

“You belong somewhere you feel free”

“I'm right where you left me”

“I'm still at the restaurant, still sitting cross-legged in the dim light of a corner I haunt”

“When oblivion is calling out your name”

“They expected me to find somewhere, some perspective, but I sat and stared right where you left me”

“You left me no choice but to stay here forever”

“Are you going to leave a path to trace?”

“The darkest hour dies at the dawn”

“If I could talk to a younger me, I’d tell me to go slow”

“This time on earth it moves so fast”

“When it's gone, it's gone”

“Follow your heart like a bird set free”

“If I could talk to a younger me, I'd tell me to be bold”

“Dreams can't be bought or sold”

“Feel the love inside your chest, watch it overflow”

“True love asks for nothing back”

“t's not an easy reckoning, but sometimes I have the notion that womankind, and her heart and mind, sails on a restless ocean”

“Love will come, and love will go, as the years roll on forever”

“You knelt by my mattress, and asked for my hand, but I was sad you asked it”

“I must admit it, that I would marry you in an instant. Damn your wife, I'd be your mistress just to have you around”

“Sometimes I have the notion that womankind, and her heart and mind, is a tall ship on the ocean”

“I was late for this, late for that, late for the love of my life”

“While the church discouraged, any lust that burned within me”

“The only gifts from my Lord were a birth and a divorce”

“I was Cleopatra, I was taller than the rafters, but that's all in the past love, gone with the wind.”

“God knows I don't know exactly what I'm doing, but good news, we got her to get through it.”

“You'll see close to perfect patience if you watch her every move”

“Blue eyed girl, let your hair hang down.”

“Let the colors of your soul spill out for everyone to see.”

“In a world of black and white and gray you make something beautiful every day”

“I can't think of a better way to spend the time I have, so, I'll spend it with you”

“I'll march right along to your beat. The rhythm of your spirit makes me feel much more alive”

“There's wisdom in the way you speak and I see "I love you" in your eyes”

“I wouldn't mind staying up talking to you all night as you're telling me everything about the books you read”

“Before you came along my skies were often dark and clouded, but the atmosphere is clear now that you're here”

“I've heard my whole life that home is where the heart is, but I cannot feel at home when you're not near”

“When you hold my hand in yours there is wonder written on your face”

“I'd love to live inside your heart because it is a wonderful place”

“But none of that is ever who we are”

[killjoysfromyesterday]

third prompt for @badthingshappenbingo !

prompt: panic attack

word count: 1,029

—————-

jet's nightmares have always been pretty bad, that's why he sleeps with the door closed so he doesn't wake anyone up. but witch, it feels like there's a weight on his chest and he can't breathe no matter how hard he's trying.

he's been up for hours with the memories taunting him, leaving him with little snapshots every time he closes his eyes. he thought going up to the roof would help because the stars always help him clear his mind, but he's still just as spun up as he was when he was in his room.

"you're going to hide and you're not going to come out until we come get you, okay? under no circumstances do you open the door. we'll be back for you soon." jet's father's ushering him into the closet, and his voice is so urgent it's scaring jet.

"my brave boy." his mother smiles, and her eyes are teary when she kisses jet on the forehead. his father is telling his little sister the same thing, putting her in the vent crawlspace on the other side of the room.  grey's crying, sucking on the ear of her ragdoll like she always does when she's nervous.

"we love you. so much." the door to the closet closes and jet's engulfed in darkness, and less than a minute later there's the sound of the bedroom door being kicked open and he can see the stark white boots of exterminators storming the room.

"please!" his mother screams, and he thinks he can hear his father say something but then his mother's sobs are cut short by two bangs that leaves little jet's ears ringing.

the footsteps are coming closer and closer to the closet door, and jet squeezes his eyes shut tight as he possibly can as each echoing boot slams down against the wooden floor.

much to his relief, the footsteps recede; but his blood runs cold at the sound of the vent cover being ripped off its screws. there's crying and another bang, and then silence.

the world spins and he's back on top of the diner and he's got his hands clamped over his ears. he thinks he's crying but he can't tell because it's way too loud  and his heartbeat is going so fast he's afraid he's going to die out here and nobody would be here to try and save him. the only thing running through his head is he can't breathe and oh witch, he's gonna die here.

would they even try to save him? what if they were just keeping jet around to have an extra hand to shoot with? no, that's crazy. they're his family. he knows that. but the idea of being an orphan again makes his blood freeze in his veins and he thinks he's gonna be sick.

there's a hand on his shoulder and he wrenches away, instincts on autopilot, but when he finally gets a grip on his surroundings he realizes it's just the girl, rubbing sleep from her eyes. before he can lecture her on how she's not supposed to climb up here by herself, she seems to pick up on his fear.

"jet?" she asks, scared by his reaction. shit, now he's scaring the kid. when does his damage end? the girl must've noticed his panic, because she's looking at him funny from what he can see in the dark of the night sky.

"get pois?" the girl asks, tilting her head questioningly. jet can't manage to respond fast enough to stop her, but it just makes him feel worse because damn it, now he's gonna wake everyone up with his stupid little problems.

the girl disappears and jet holds his breath, willing her not to fall on those rickety stairs that lead up to the roof. he's putting her in danger, and that only adds to the mountain of worry that's piling inside of him and burying him neck-deep.

he should be over this. hell, he was eight when it happened. it's been sixteen years. he's an adult now. yet he's still waking up in cold sweats, shaking like a wavehead off a binge.

"hey, star." poison's voice is a little scratchy from sleep, bedhead wild as always, and it takes everything for jet not to jump out of his skin when he feels poison sit down next to him.

"wanna talk about it?" jet shakes his head frantically,  and he can see poison's eyebrows stitch together with worry.

the others didn't know much. they knew he was an orphan, but he hadn't told them anything and had forbidden doc from telling them anything either. he didn't want pity, plain and simple.

he was tired of being the orphan kid. he'd played that part the whole life, sometimes a little too well if food and shelter was involved. the begging and bartering was behind him now. or was it?

"you haven't been sleeping well." poison sighs, and jet realizes it's true. this is the fifth nightmare in two weeks, he's never this bad. he's tired and jumpy during the day and his temper is even starting to get to the girl.

"i don't know." jet's tongue feels like sandpaper when he talks and his words are slurred a little, and poison's face becomes a little more contorted with worry.

"we're worried about you, jetset."

and then jet can't stop himself, the words just come tumbling out, and within minutes poison knows about his parents, knows about his baby sister and the exterminator boots from under the closet door and the way his mama begged for her life, and how his pa had been more afraid than he'd ever seen him.

poison listens closely, never once diverting his attention. they don't interrupt, they let jet talk for as long as he needs, even when the sky turns pink with first dawn's light.

when jet's done, he feels a little better, if not a bit hollowed out. the worry that was consuming him is shrinking, and his lungs are working like they should for the most part.

and as the sun creeps up into the sky, jet's able to breathe again.

[peanutxparker]

A (very long) list of all of my favorite AJJ lyrics because why not

Candy Cigarettes and Cap Guns (2005)

“Well my great grand-dad he died of cancer, from smoking too many cigarettes. But I must confess that he did quite profess to being the coolest motherfucker I ever met.”

“And cocaine is essentially vegan and they don't give a fuck anyway.”

“And I can't help but miss him even though he hit me everyday.”

“So fuck white people! (fuck white people!)”

“Heaven is a special place in hell where you can watch the people you hate get hurt.”

“You find me quite charming and I find it quite alarming ‘cause I'm gonna take your life. You find me quite charming and I find it quite alarming and I'm sad you won't be my wife.”

“What makes you think you can be so pretty? And what makes you think you can be so great? And what makes you think you can be so intelligent? And what makes you think you can be so far away?”

“What makes you think you can be so wonderful? And what makes you think you can be so keen? And what makes me think I can be so hurtful? And what makes me think I can be so mean?”

“Sometimes I feel like a cigarette, I'm wrapped in paper and I'm suffocating to death.”

“I don't want to be a cigarette anymore. I'll go to hell in my self death all day and night, so please just put me out.”

People Who Can Eat People Are The Luckiest People In The World (2007)

“Rejoice despite the fact this world will hurt you. Rejoice despite the fact this world will kill you. Rejoice despite the fact this world will tear you to shreds. Rejoice because you’re trying your best”

“I'm afraid to leave the house. I'm as timid as a mouse. I'm afraid if I go out I'll outwear my welcome. I'm not a courageous man. I don't have any big lasting plans. I'm too cowardly to take a stand, I want to keep my nose clean. And it's sad to know that we're not alone in this and it's sad to know that there's no honest way out. In this life we lead, we could conquer everything if we could just get the brave to get out of bed in the morning.”

“And I give a thank-you to my father for not raising me, and I give a finger to my step-father for beating me, and I give props to myself for achieving, and god damn I’m glad that I survived, and god damn I’m surprised that I survived.”

“So I looked into your eyes and I saw the reflection of a coward you and I both hate very much and then I grabbed the knife and I let the blood out of your throat and I smashed those tiny mirrors inside of your skull.”

“If I don’t go to hell when I die I might go to heaven, might go to heaven. But probably not.”

“Just happy times and half assed rhymes and mimes because mimes are dears, but most of all I want no more tears.”

“No more racism. No more discrimination. No more fat dumb fucks keeping people out of our nation.”

“We’re all one big band across this land and we should sing in tune. Let us grow the balls to break the walls, we’ve got to do it soon.”

“And I hope our candles flicker and die so that our hearts don’t burn to the ground.”

“First we were babies, we're birthing and dying. Then we were children, we're playing and crying. And then we're teenagers and smoking and fucking. But now we're all grown up and we're sadly sighing.”

“And your manic depression, it comes and it goes. Your parasympathetic nervous system reacts and you're in fight or flight mode.”

“How's the world so small when the world is so large? And what made the world? Could I please speak to who's in charge? Everything is real but it's also just as fake. From your daughter's birthday party to your grandmother's wake.”

“I've tried to know which words to sing so many times. I tried to know which chord to play and I tried to make it rhyme. And I tried to find the key that all good songs are in. And I tried to find that notes to make that great, resounding din.”

“There's someone in your head waiting to fucking strangle you.”

“I've got essays, I've got finals due. I have got lots and lots of problems.”

“Welcome to this world, have as much fun as you would like while helping others have as much fun as you're having. Be kind to those you love and be kind to those you don't but for God's sake you gotta be kind.”

Can’t Maintain (2009)

“I wanna pick up the pieces and plant them in the ground. When a tree grows there I want to chop that tree down. Build it into a boat and float it in a lake. And with dynamite I will explode the thing that makes me make mistakes.”

“Sometimes I get so lonesome I can't breathe. Sometimes I get so scared that I can't speak. Sometimes I get so worried I can't hear my heartbeat. Anyway…”

“I wanna tear out my heart and give it away to a person more deserving one day. If all I see is the worst in everything that's all I'm gonna get, that's all I'm gonna get, that's all I'm gonna get.”

“And people freak me out. People make me scared. People make me so damn self-aware.”

“I get bronchitis twice a year at least. My lungs aren't the way they should be. And I smoke more than a mother fuckin chimney. I declare war on my body.”

“You will cough up crows that peck my eyes and I will do nothing but go blind.”

“We could live there together or I'll live alone, less happy but I'll live... unfortunately.”

“And no one will know how I truly feel ‘cause I can no longer differentiate between what is fake and what is real. I don't know how I feel.”

“And I will always appreciate bad days like this because they grant me a point of reference in regards to my happiness.”

“If the bridge that I was driving over collapsed while I was driving over it that may not be such a bad thing. I would finally meet my maker, I could meet the great creator, and I'd punch him for teaching me how to sing.”

“Don't know if I believe in god but sometimes I pray because the way I was raised keeps me afraid.”

“I hope I can forgive me for having the nerve to exist. I hope someone can help me make some sense of this.”

“Sense and sensibility and peaceful productivity, a pretty girl with broken wings is all that I desire. But there's so much hostility in all the things surrounding me. The awful glow of enmity is trying to stop my shine. So I try to look inwardly at all the things inside of me but sodomy and buggery keep bubbling to the top.”

“I met you once over the phone, you sounded sad and you seemed alone. You left me but I never left you. I never had the chance to.”

“If you spend all your heart on something that has died you are not alive and that can't be your life.”

Knife Man (2011)

“There's no one to blame. People are just fucking mean.”

“So if I see a penny on the ground, I leave it alone or fucking flip it. I'm a straight white male in America. I've got all the luck I need.”

“I've got a pile of broken mirrors and I'm walking under ladders and I'll spill a ton of salt because to me that doesn't matter.”

“You were dead by the time that I had found you. Your blood was spilled on the couch where we had first kissed. So I carried you west to the sea so I could wash you. Your body felt just like a back pack.”

“I hate whiny, fucking songs like this but I can't afford a therapist. Sorry guys, here's a solo.”

“Some days I feel like I'm the weakest and others the strongest. These days are the longest and I've got the weirdest feeling about this and I wanna go away for a while.”

“I wish I had a bullet big enough to fucking kill the sun. I'm sick of songs about the summer.”

“When you have no one, you are no one. Like I said, I used to work at the people pound. All these no ones clumped together, just like a human lost and found. If they left them all be someones there wouldn't be enough to go around. It's better for us all us if there are no ones. And I knew a lot of no ones round that time. They used to all be someones until something took their life and all their someones disappeared while they're stuck there waiting in a line. And for them now, no one seems to have the time.”

“They say ambition is an enemy of weakness and greatness is an enemy of fame.When I pick up my guitar and I try to write a song, I think of what my mentor used to say… “Who fucking gives a rat's ass Steve, just write a love song. Cus they'll keep your belly full and your wallet lined. Don't bother these nice people with your sad sack songs. If you ask me I think they're just a waste of time.””

“Inspiration is the best friend of my sorrow and sorrow is the best friend of my drink. Well I want to look myself in the eye tomorrow but I'm too worried of what other folk's will think.”

“And the troubles in my heart need to get let out. And the troubles in my heart need to escape. And I never liked writing poetry and I never liked doing pottery and God knows that I never learned to paint. So every now and then, I'll sing sad songs. Cus it keeps my spirit light and my conscience clean. And if you don't care to hear I don't mind if you go out for some air. Cus I'm happy that you're happier than me.”

“So I wish I had a cigarette for every time a perfect stranger asked me for a cigarette but I wonder what a cigarette will really do to help that person out. I wish to God I had some spare change for every time a perfect stranger asked me for some spare change but there's not enough spare change in the world to make such an empty gesture count.”

“You can hope it gets better and you can follow your dreams but hope is for presidents and dreams are for people who are sleeping.”

“You don't have it any better and you don't have it any worse. You're an irreplaceable human soul with your own understanding of what it means to suffer and that’s a huge bummer.”

“I'm afraid of the way I live my life. I'm afraid of the way I don't. I'm afraid of the things that I want to do but I won't. I'm afraid of God. I'm afraid to believe and I'm afraid of all the loved ones that I've made leave. I'm afraid that my dog doesn't love me anymore. I'm afraid of the social laziness that let Kitty Genovese die. And I'm afraid of the mob mentality that makes otherwise normal people go blind. I'm afraid of the way that the world works and I'm afraid of the words in my notebooks. I'm afraid that you all know that I am a pervert.”

“It's harder to be yourself than it is to be anybody else. I wish I were a little less of a coward but the big red bird that lives under the city doesn't give a damn about me and it dies every night. So I bought a knife. I am a knife.”

Rompilation (2012)

“I used to be a spiderman, I used to be a cowboy from hell, but not anymore. Now I'm just a clam and I live inside this shell inside this shell I am. God damn I hate my brain.”

“I'll dip my brain in medicine so that you can stand to be with me.”

“Give me your tired, give me your tired, give me your poor. When our government acts like this, I wonder what World War II was for and the rest of the country hates us more and more. Lady Liberty is not a whore.”

“This is not a protest, it's a tortoise slowly pushing through a race. I hope the tortoise keeps its patience while the hare continues to pepper-spray its face.”

“There is no enemy, there's only people that also love their families and they're scared that they won't have enough long after they are deceased. But how much money do they need? Love turns into fear, and fear turns into greed. There is no enemy, there's only dummies that also love their families.”

“And this is not a phase, it's just a matter of time, with diligence and peacefulness, you will reach them and you will change their minds. If you stay there long enough, they'll start to see you.”

“And when you pushed my face in shit how could that have made you feel like a man or like a monster. It's your fault that I can't tell the difference.”

“In the evening I try songwriting. I'm self loathing, but I love singing. I'll try escaping these evil feelings but they keep coming, they keep coming…”

“So the baby's gonna have a daddy, that's wonderful news. He won't be the greatest parent but neither will you! Gotta get out while you can, otherwise you're screwed. Your legs are broken and your eyes are black and blue.”

“And smoking is like hiring a hitman for five dollars a day, and as cool as that is, I don't wanna keep dying this way.”

Christmas Island (2014)

“Shoot him again ‘cause I can see his soul dancing.”

“If you give it to me I’ll give it back much harder. If you treat me like a son, then I’ll treat you like a daughter. Everyone has a future, everyone has a soul, everyone has a heart, they have a mind, they have control.”

“The Coffin Dancer dances like he has something the prove because he does. He sleeps a couple hours in the morning, hates the morning when he wakes up.”

“The Coffin Dancer dances like he wants to make a friend, but he does not.”

“Getting naked and playing with guns. There's a gerbil in the microwave, a baseball bat in everyone. Sharing kisses and building a bomb. We'll set it off like Microsoft in '94.”

“McDonald's PlayPlace before the Xbox, cake frosting, sweet talking, bedroom wall, covered in knives, touching God, burning shit. We'll make a wish and take a trip to Future Town like our daddy did.”

“Have you ever wanted to be, have you ever wanted to see someone better in the mirror? Have you ever wanted to go, have you ever wanted to know somewhere greener, somewhere cleaner. I bet you got something beautiful in mind.”

“I can’t handle astounding works of beauty. I think I like my pretty pretty ugly but the beautiful soul I witnessed in that movie was an entirely different kind of overwhelming. It was a dog that won’t stop barking. Like a cut that never stops bleeding. Arizona sunsets in the early evening. Or a grown man inconsolably weeping.”

“I am the Kool-Aid stains on the mouth of a kid whose name is most likely Cody. He had a juice box for breakfast and he carries a stick that he most likely found in the alley. Cody doesn't have friends and his parents hate each other and he wants to find a better way to love his family and after school he hangs out in the abandoned house behind the Arby's.”

The Bible 2 (2016)

“Oh, I love you cause I love you cause I can.”

“On your last night at Saint Mary's you were way too intoxicated to breathe. So I used your ribs as ladders and I climbed up on your chest and I jumped up and down just like a trampoline.”

“Confused and rude. Such a special kind of way to be cruel.”

“If I were one of the things, I'd be american garbage. The most beautiful thing. The most beautiful american garbage you have ever seen.”

“No more shame, no more fear, no more dread.”

“And if you don't want to feel the feeling, no one should ever make you feel the feeling.”

“I thought I saw you before I knew who you were.”

“I just wanted to rage but all I got was tired”

“I showed him all the books that I was raised on. Your Madeleine L'Engle(s) and D'Aulaires' Mythologies.”

“And his eyes became a beacon, an LCD projector, broadcasting all my memories in a clear and vivid picture. His tongue became a staircase, his uvula - The knocker of an ornate wooden door that lead me straight into my future. His throat became a hallway with a thousand baby pictures and I became forgiveness, I transformed into the closure that I lost when I learned about the tragedy of all of us. I lost it when I learned about the tragedy of all of us.”

Good Luck Everybody (2019)

“If you don't give it to them they'll starve to death and that's alright.”

“I've got the normalization blues, this isn't normal, this isn't good.”

“I'm detached and I'm distracted, all keyed up but unproductive, vacillating between being all excited and disgusted and then dozing lackadaisically in this bubble where I've made my mental home. Connection's more important now than it ever was, but I'd rather be alone.”

“And when we talk about the president, we're either pissed off or we're giggling about an atrocity he's committing or some stupid shit he's tweeting. He's a symptom and a weapon of the evil men who really run the show. The ones who melt down human beings into money like a cruel Sorcerer's Stone.”

“This is the golden age of dickotry, probably the last golden age of anything, and the ugliest word in the English language is anthropocene. Good luck, everybody. Good luck.”

“But before that, you'll be a doormat, for every vicious narcissist in the world. Oh how they'll screw you, all up and over, then feed you silence for dessert.”

“I'm sorry that you have to have a body, filled with infection, one hundred scabs singing in unison, eyes and hands, sometimes bullets, uninvited, passing through us.”

“Oh to be awake for such a shitty dream. A bullet in the head of every decent thing.”

“The lake of dead black children that America created is getting fuller than the founding Fathers even wanted. The ghost of great America was underestimated and now it rages like a cold sore on the lip of this dumb nation. Again we've slipped inside a pit of absolute despair. That's where we live.”

“Rewarding our worst cruelty, they destroyed our shared reality, and now they upsell us our dignity like some fucked VIP package.”

“There is no absolute, these days there's no such thing as truth and you don't need to be a dick about it.”

“I'm a burnout and a fool, oblivious to all I do. I move my lips when I read and breathe with my mouth open, wide open. Timid, meek, and cruel, this is the best that I can do. I need to speak my truth, yet here I'm broken wide, wide open. My resentment, big and strong, and all the things that I can't change. They'll buckle me beneath the weight. I will drive myself insane with all the things that I can't change. I hate all the things that I can't change.”

“You're a loudmouth and a tool, and as it turns out I am too, and you don't need to be a dick about it.”

“Because I know that you know what I need more than me and I know that you need me more than that.”

“For all the pussies you grab and the children you lock up in prison, for all the rights you roll back and your constant stream of racism, for all the poison you drip in my ear, for all your ugly American fear. I wrote you this beautiful song called Psychic Warfare.”

“I hate you with all of my heart. I hate you with all of my art.”

“I went back to the desert, little Midwest in me, and now I am colder than I used to be. I live in a fortress the shape of my body, and now there's a coldness, and it's shaped like me. Now I don't suffer any more bullshit gladly. Even though everything's bullshit now, here in 2019 and you can bet it's gonna be a bunch of bullshit too out in sweet 2020 or whenever this album's released.”

[sailingintothenight]

“WANNABE.” T.H. Imagine.

And what if after years of chasing each other like a cat and mouse, you and Tom started to wonder if you wanna be something else in each other's life?

A/N: I am posting a one shot after weeks of writer's block. I hope you like it. It's 9:30 pm in Peru and it's still April 28, so it's still my birthday! Give it a try. Pleaseeeeee! And yes, I borrowed a scene from Mean Girls (Because I loveeee that movie)

“Hello God, it's me again, (y/n). What's up? I know we haven't talked much lately, but, hey, listen, I have a favor to ask you- I have behaved well, I haven’t gotten drunk at any crazy party of any Hollywood star and I haven't accepted drugs, ever: I'm afraid my grandmother will appear in my room as a ghost and pull my blankets in the middle of the night, plus, I haven't make out with any Stone-cold Hollywood hottie, and trust me, I've had more than one chance. Anyway, about the favor–”

"Yes, but (y/n)'s grandfather invited us to his birthday party..."

Tom's voice startles you and cuts off your internal dialogue, turning you back to the reality.

It’s 6 am. The sun shines in the clear sky, and you are on a flight back to England in a luxury privet jet that is about to arrive at the airport, while Haz, Harry, Tom and you are sitting in comfortable velvety seats, with the view of morning sky on your left side. 

The exciting memory of your last recording still seemed to run through your veins, too exciting to let you sleep. Because that was the end, the goodbye after incredible months. All your efforts from the past months were hidden behind that last performance that looked like a fantasy, except for the kiss, ugh, you had to erase it from your mind. But now, you're going back home, ready to take a break away from the set-up bridge and blue and green backgrounds, away from the makeup artists who gave your face the final touches of the magic of Hollywood, far from the suit of a superhero who had just won her last battle and who got the cute boy, Peter Parker.

But not far away from Tom Holland.

Because evil takes a human form in Tom Holland, your lifelong neighbor.

How do you even begin to explain Tom Ho– Stop, people say that if you pronounce his name 3 times a curse falls on you.

But fans say Tom Holland is flawless, you heard his curly hair is insured for 10,000 dollars, his favorite movie is “Spider-man Homecoming”, duh, and very soon, “far from home”. One time he met Robert Downey Jr. in his own village and he started hyperventilating, and once he threw a fan's phone on the floor and she said it was awesome.

"Please don't tell me you're going to his birthday party." You complain, because you can't help it.

"Would that bother you that much, darling?" Tom smiles, tilting his head back so that his tender smile fits perfectly with his tender face. “Then of course I will go. Also, your grandfather still has the hope his granddaughter would get a man like me.”

"Ew. Why would my dear grandfather want me to be with someone who enjoys keeping a frog in his mouth?" You ask, earning yourself an Oscar for best actress with the innocence you exude and the seriousness you manage to put on your face, even when Tom's eyes narrow from the attack you just launched, while, enjoying the show, his friend and his younger brother laughs, shaking heads with a familiar expression on their faces because of the familiar discussion between you and him that happens, every two or three days. "Seriously, Tom, give the poor Henry a break."

"Henry?" Tom asks with real confusion, his accent thick, while the other male voices ask it in a collective whisper too.

"I named your frog Henry, hope it doesn't bother you." And you laugh, victorious to feel how Tom exhales the air through his nose.

“Seriously, (y/n), when will you confess that you are in love with me? You don't have to be so shy, darling.” Tom laughs too, using his finger to tap your nose, because he knows perfectly well that you don't like that, just as you don't like being called darling anymore. “Ray is a wise man, you should listen to your grandfather."

"Yes, if you like skinny ones."

"I'm not skinny. I have the perfect body.” Tom defends himself.

"For now, but in a couple of years you will named your big belly as your dad does after drinking with mine." You laugh like a little girl because you love Dom, because he's warm and funny, because he loves his wife and children, and because of how funny he is when he and your dad have had too much alcohol, like the time they started a cartwheel contest in the middle of the street. "Who's there? It's Dom Junior.”

"Shut up! My dad is still sexy!” A heavy silence falls over the small place as everyone looks at Tom with furrowed brows and true confusion, but that's when he realizes the choice of words he used to refer to his dad. "That's not what I meant!"

You raise your hands in a sign of peace, your gaze avoiding his as you stop yourself from laughing and mocking him.

"That's so wrong, Tom." Harry says, with a certain bittersweet taste on the tip of his tongue. "Now because of you I won't be able to see dad's belly the same way."

Harry and Haz chuckle at Dom's expense.

But when the jet landed smoothly on the headlight-lit runway in the early hours of the morning, the heavy hours from the past months feels now as if they weighed the same as a feather, pain and exhausting sleepless nights disappeared in the blink of an eye, and now, there is no oceans that could make you feel far away, because in the end, you always came back home.

"Besides..." You say to finish that conversation, your backpack on your shoulder before making the victory path towards the stairs to get off the plane. "I would like a boyfriend who can grow a mustache, not like the failed attempt on your face. Thank you very much."

"Hey!" Tom frowns as you pass him by, and his voice rises even higher than it already is. "My doctor says it's just a hormone problem."

"Damn, bro..." Harry laughs as he puts an arm around Tom's shoulder, giving him a brotherly hug before walking out to the car waiting outside. “(Y/n) will be hard to catch, you know? But try it, maybe you will make it in this century."

Harry laughs, and then, walks out of the plane.

"What does that mean?" Tom asks Harrison, who is still waiting by his side.

"I think he meant that you are in love with (y/n), but you haven't noticed it yet."

Harrison chuckles, but after patting Tom on the back, he rushes to place a hand on his best friend's shoulder to stop him.

“Hey, mate… you, uh…” Tom's eyes soften, almost to the point where his brown eyes resembled the gaze of a little 5-year-old boy, sad, and lost. “You haven't told anyone why we came back, right?”

“Of course not.” Harrison says, and his gaze smiles just like his lips. “Don’t worry about anything, okay? We are home, you are home. You can take the time you need to rest.”

Tom nods, unsure, but tries to be strong as they both get off the plane. 

The gray autumn clouds hang with invisible strings in the sky as Tom Holland, actor, handsome, wealthy, and the loneliest person in the world, releases a deep breath that is lost among the sounds of the world, because his world is no longer sparkling or velvety thanks to the cameras or a red carpet, and while his new movie is a box office hit that never in his best dreams he would have imagined, something wasn't right for him.

That’s why he is back home.

The car ride is silent as some sleep, except you and Tom, because your eyes seem to recognize the streets you grew up in, because your hearts recognize your home. But for Tom, he recalls tilting his body to the left and a camera captured his best actor pose a week ago, but since then, his body has felt null, as if floating in the air and no longer responding to his orders. He was crystal clear, but a few people seemed to see clearly through him. Tom tries to convince himself that the tickling in his hands is his body's response to tiredness and not his anxiety, because he suffers it too, but he feels that something is eating his soul.

"Are you okay, Tom?"

Among a sea of ​​people, Tom Holland has always pretended to be an interesting person, but now, he takes a deep breath and looks at you, nervous, lost in the middle of that huge world, but you, looking back at him gives him peace, because he doesn’t feel alone anymore. 

What did you think? That someone is interested in knowing if you are really okay? Of course they care, right?

“Of course, darling.” Tom smiles, as if in a snap of fingers, everything is fine.

But there, he catches a movement of yours.

You tilt your head to the side, like his beloved Tessa when she is curious about something, but he doesn't say it out loud because you would take it the wrong way, but the movement in slow motion worthy of a Hollywood scene and the serenity of your gaze makes Tom hold his breath, that breath that previously didn't fit his chest with so many problems that he carried inside.

But suddenly he can breathe again, finally.

“Okay.”

The minutes pass until the car stops on a street that you two recognize perfectly. When everyone is out, the car leaves, but because your favorite boys are about to leave, too, you hug everyone as the promise to celebrate Harrison's birthday next week hangs in the air. You love them so much, because they are beautiful people who helped you to save yourself from the storms of doubts and fears, each of them in their own charming way, and for that, you were grateful.

"My friend Danielle is coming so I would like you to meet her, Haz." You chuckle adorably before leaving, noting that Harrison's smile is as real as his desire to meet her.

"I'm looking forward to it, darling."

"Wait, why he can call you darling?" Tom says, and for a second, you see a sparkle in the brightness of his eyes, but as the door of his house opens and his beloved Tessa runs to receive him, the confusion disperses like the morning haze.

"There she is the only darling you will ever get, Thomas."

And the moment you turn around, because the door of your house opens too, you lose sight of Tom's honest smile and the question that he hides behind his sweet eyes. Was he in love with you all this time without realizing it? And what if he wanna be your boyfriend? 

Oh, right. The favor that you were going to ask God for? To get you a boyfriend, a cute one, a hot one... maybe like Tom. Weird, isn't it?

Tag list: @galaxies-of-the-heart​