#I don't even see myself being in that field of work but yet it interested me so much to get a book on it

[weirdalienfrommars]

No idea why I wanted this but I got and now have it.

May I learn more the human brain and how it functions.

(Mind you, I'm not taking a psychology course yet, so I have little need for it.)

[lightlycareless]

This is random but the mc and Naoya remind me a lot of hades and persefone.

Hiii!!!!

I haven't been able to keep this ask out of my mind; at first I was like "How?" but after revisiting the myth it got me realizing that yeah, they do have striking similarities omg.

It got me writing a bit 🙈🙈🙈 though of course I took some (a lot) liberties so please don't quote me for accuracy hahaha. Still, I hope you enjoy it 🥺

warnings: naoya is an a_hole. he thinks with his head but you know, not the one on top of his shoulders. so there's sexual innuendos but not too explicit. also, I tried not naming the gods but I couldn't help myself with some, mainly those that just... idk, made sense for me lol.

Happy reading!!

You felt trapped.

Alone. Useless, without any real motivation or purpose.

Even when your duties are indisputable, your work equally important as the other gods as your mother often said, for the mortals and their livelihood depended on it, you still feel unfulfilled. Believing a simple replacement could easily do the same, ultimately providing no real worth to your presence.

And yet, no matter your stubbornness, your mother constantly refuted your claims. Whether by inundating you with doting, reassuring words, or forcing you to stay in the mortal realm, the place where you and your mother were venerated to do their work: tending the fields, guiding expectant mothers through childbirth, and furthermore, keeping everyone healthy, sustained.

“Our duties here are important, my daughter.” She would say when noticing the dark cloud of her insecurities make way to your mind once more. “No one can do what we can.”

No, of course not, you suppose.

But it didn’t mean that’s all there is to life.

Unfortunately, that is something you wouldn’t be able to find out on your own, forced to limit yourself to what one of your mother’s friends, the only true connection you had to the outside world, said.

“Can you believe they made two gods compete for the right to name a city?” Shoko, the goddess of witchcraft, crossroads, amongst many other things, says. “If I were a higher god, I wouldn’t go through those theatrics, I’d simply do it.”

“Who ended up winning?” you wonder, deeply curious.

“Inumaki, the city is now called Inuyama.”

You chuckle.

“I would’ve liked to see how that happened.”

“Ah, you wouldn’t like it out there, you know?” she’d go on. “Mortals can be very nasty when it comes to it. You’re much safer here, with your mom.”

“But…”

“Perhaps for your birthday.” Is all that she says, every year. As always. And just when you think you’re finally to see more of moral realm, something suddenly happens, and your back at home… again.

“What about other realms? There are other gods, surely I could…”

“Absolutely not.” Shoko interrupts. “You know how your mother feels about them. Where do you think mortals get their vicious nature from?”

“From the gods…” you repeat dutifully, just like you were taught since a child.

“But not us, of course. We’re the cool ones.” Shoko attempts to jest, and you follow along, kind of. Not that it mattered, you wouldn’t be able to discern such a fact either way.

The heavens, where most gods remained, were far from your reach just the same way it was for the mortals.

And the underworld… well, you weren’t allowed to pry on that matter, less stride into it, but truth to be told you weren’t too interested in it either; not when its entire existence was the anti-thesis of your own work.

And your freedom, though you wouldn’t know so until much later.

Naoya felt trapped.

Alone. Useless, without any real motivation or purpose.

Even when his duties are indisputable, his work equally important as the other gods, if not more, he still feels unfulfilled. Any other fool could perfectly work as a replacement, providing no real worth to his presence.

But such is the weight of being the sole god in charge of a whole realm; to take care of the dead sounded as tedious as one could imagine, so more than feeling inadequate, Naoya was growing tired of it.

When the other gods could have their fun, he… well, he was relegated to taking care of their mistakes. Cleaning up after their messes, he supposes. What happens after the party is over.

Naoya never asked for this job, but when the clown of his old man decided to suddenly retire and dump him with all his duties without prior warning, he didn’t have much of a choice.

And such, that is where he stood now.

However, it didn’t mean it was always like that—there were still opportunities that rose to the occasion, the same ones he’s quick to seize, such as the party invitation he got a few days ago: a reunion for gods to have in the mortal realm with no real purpose outside of having a good time. A yearly (officially, at least) endeavor.

“The mortal realm?” Naoya repeats—in the dominion of no other but the goddess of harvest. “Now, isn’t that curious?”

The stuck-up goddess that refused to mingle with any others, apparently too good to do so, opened the doors of her very own home to host their silly little party.

It only serves to prove that her prude demure was nothing less than an act; must be if she was still willing to beget a child with one of them. Not so proper now, is she?

A daughter everyone knew of but had yet to be seen from outside rumors and whispers. Though the way she kept her in absolute secrecy, one could even dare to say she spawned her herself through her own talents.

“Probably another snotty goddess, just like her mother.” Naoya eventually concludes, a secret that doesn’t weigh much on his decision to attend, but he won’t deny that uncovering their secrets was highly intriguing: a distant goddess like her is bound to have some. Many, in fact.

Perhaps if lucky enough, he’ll even be able to put a face on that wretched daughter of hers, and who knows? If she’s adequate enough, have some fun with her too. To spoil the little flower she’s oh, so fiercely protected from his kind, ought to get an interesting reaction from her.

And if not, he could always rely on the nymphs and mortal women that always seemed to find their way to him.

These were his absolute favorites. His go-to, if you please: just a few tricks and they’ll be on their knees ready to please him.

“Will you be attending, Naoya?”

One of his fellow brothers asks, a sly smirk on his face as he puts away the letter.

“Of course. I must—after all, I have the strange feeling that something good is to happen.”

Though the Fates have long decided so.

“I hate how he makes these decisions without consulting me beforehand. How he thinks he can just order me, in my own house, to do whatever he wants!” Your mother reproached as she ordered all the nymphs to make haste for the preparations of tonight’s party.

Apparently, the location for their yearly reunion is chosen through a random fashion, as the King of the god’s fairly dictated: she just had the misfortune of being selected this time around.

Ah, but the god’s antics are not ones she’s unfamiliar with, a part of her believing this was done so intentionally after the many years she managed to escape their vices.

She’s the only one that keeps to herself all the time, after all, making it hard to believe they were even in the same pantheon, but alas, your mother will do once more what she has done so countless times before: make the best of her circumstances, and navigate through their eccentric antics—all while protecting you.

“When will they arrive?” you ask, clearly excited to host a party (that isn’t your birthday) for the first time in your life. The possibilities that this entailed were endless. You’d be meeting other gods, and they’d be meeting you too! Oh, just what kind of stories of their greatness will they share? Surely far more interesting that what you could provide.

Unfortunately…

“Just before nightfall, but don’t worry my adorable little rose, you won’t even notice them because you’ll be safely guarded in your room.” She gladly proclaims, much to your shock and disappointment.

“But, mother—”

“Not another word, Y/N. My decision is final.”

As they always are.

Just like her ensuing regret, her feeble attempts to distract you from the clear solitude you are to experience—which stopped working once you became aware of your entrapment.

“Oh, but my sweet, precious honeysuckle, don’t be sad. You’ll be in the company of your good friends! I do not wish to spoil their efforts but, they’ve prepared all kinds of fun games for you to partake in; and if that wasn’t enough, I will also be preparing your favorite snacks, so you won’t feel left out of the celebration! Now, doesn’t that sound delightful?”

“Yes, mother…” If you were younger, perhaps. But your life had always been like this, so you had no real point of comparison.

“I’ve also set up your favorite blankets just in case my little apple runs cold, and of course, how could I forget, your plushies! Which I’ve just washed so they’d be extra fluffy.”

“Mother, I’m— I’m not a child anymore.”

“Oh, but you are to me. You’ll always be my little flower.” She smiles, cupping your face and kissing your cheeks. “Now, we still have a long day ahead of us, so how about you help me? While I go pick up more fruits for tonight, you head down to the fields near the village and tend to the mortals. They’ve been quite insistent, and I don’t think I’d be able to go another day listening to their incessant prayers! Think you can do that, pumpkin?”

“Of course, mother.”

“I knew you could.” She smiles, placing one last kiss on the top of your head before retreating, forcing you into your newest duty and envy towards the mortals: to have their prayers listened to if something you could only dream of, wondering if perhaps the life of a mortal was easier than that of a god.

It must be nice to have someone to seek help from, someone that cares to listen—but who ever listens to the gods? That’s not how nature works, never will.

Maybe it was time to finally give up on that dream of yours of knowing the outside world: what goes beyond the four, firm walls of your home.

If you only knew.

Per usual, Naoya arrives a few hours late for the party.

He never liked being punctual: be there too early and the mood is as dry as his kingdom, too late and all the good selections are almost done. Tainted. And he never liked being served leftovers.

Thus, the god of the underworld knew exactly when to arrive, though others weren’t too appreciative of his tactics.

“You should at least have the decency to greet the rest!” a god says, the same one that always seemed to have a bone to pick with him.

“Not like I haven’t seen them before.” Naoya dismisses them, uninterested in saluting the gods that barely acknowledged his own presence.

“Then the host as a bare minimum. You know how difficult she is to get along with.”

“Ah, is that why her home was selected to host this year’s reunion? With hopes she’ll soften up?” Naoya teases. “He doesn’t fool anyone; he did this to irk her. Or perhaps get a glimpse of her daughter? Either way, I cannot wait to see where that takes us—think she might try to suffocate us with vines just like she did last time?”

The god ultimately concedes to his words with laugh. In the end, no matter how almighty they thought themselves, they were nothing but creatures that sought their own pleasures: whether wreaking havoc amongst their ranks or serve themselves with the devotion of those beneath them.

Just like Naoya intended to do now, already setting his eyes on the first conquest of the: an “innocent” nymph who had been batting her eyes at him since he arrived.

A good start before moving onto mortals, Naoya thinks as he takes a cup from the nearby table, drinking the tasty wine he presumes to come from your mother’s meadows, before approaching her.

“Is there something you wish to tell me, little nymph?” He breathes, a sly smirk on his face as he watches her quiver—undoubtedly out of attraction. It’s so pathetic yet endearing. Naoya’s blood rushes down at the sight of her blatant passion.

“No, of course not, my lord.” She murmurs back, eyes shyly glancing up to him, before looking away when his gaze proved too much to take. She may act coy, but she knows what she’s doing—trying to reel him in. Were all spring nymphs like this, so wanton, or was it just her?

“Is that so?” Naoya adds. “Because you’ve been staring at me since I arrived.”

“I was simply… mesmerized by your greatness.” It’s more likely that his preceding reputation gave her sufficient knowledge on what buttons to push to earn his interest—but if that wasn’t the case, she had already won his favor through her charm. A beauty worthy of the virtues she serves.

“Care to show me what my greatness has inspired within you to provoke such act?”

“I cannot do so here.” She responds, taking the bait—or perhaps he was the one to fall in her trap? “It is unbefitting of a god like you.”

Not that it mattered if he was the one to ultimately win in the end.

“Take me where, then.”

“Are you sure you don’t want us to stay?” Mariya, the oldest and most loyal of your nymphs, ponders your dismissal. She, being the one you entrusted most of your thoughts with, was the most willing when it came to refuting your mother’s firm orders. As much as she could, anyways.

“No, it’s fine.” You insist, smiling. “I don’t feel like doing anything tonight, really.”

“We prepared all this for you.” Another, Hitomi, says. “Is there really not one thing you wish to do?”

You shake your head, she sighs.

“Yeah. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, no. Don’t be.” Hitomi frets. “I can only imagine how difficult this is to you.”

To have the possibility of meeting the world, and yet, forced into to your room… but this is how things always went on, right? Your safety was your mother’s utmost priority, her main purpose in life since she learned she was expecting you.

You ought to give up a losing fight after centuries under her protective watch.

At least you had their unbreakable friendship, which always strengthened your heart during your darkest moments.

“Go have fun.” You insist. “I’ll be ok; I’ll probably just head to sleep or something.”

“You know we can’t do that; your mother is going to kill us if she learns we’re not with you!” Haruko cries.

“We can stay at the meadows or even go to the nearby village; the gods won’t be there if the party is over here.” Mariya suggests. “Most of them, at least.”

“Sounds like a plan.” You smile. “Go, I’ll be fine.”

“Alright, then. Goodnight.” They say, bidding their farewells and retreating.

After getting ready to go to bed, you look out the window, taking in one last look at the god’s party; it may be far, but you could still hear the music, the cheers, the overall good time they seemed to be having. It simply reaffirmed your suspicions, you’ve never been to one, but you always imagined they were fun. They must be if they keep doing them.

You know it’s hopeless to wonder at this point, but you still play with the question if you’d ever get the chance to assist one. You didn’t even have to stay through its whole entirety, just getting a quick look around and call it a day. That’s all. You’d at least get the opportunity to say you’ve been to one!

Not that anyone’s counting.

“Maybe in a few centuries.” Is all that you say before heading to bed, ready to dive into the realm where all your deepest desires were real.

…

…

…

“I…lac…” you suddenly hear someone whisper, close enough to think it came from just outside your bedroom yet heavily disconnected from your thoughts; leading you to believe it was simply part of your imagination, perhaps even a nightmare…

Until the loud, following response proved you wrong.

“Hurry already, I don’t have time for your games!”

And then, the door suddenly slides open, jolting you awake as you try to make out the passing figures through the darkness of the night, squinting your eyes before gasping when discerning not only one of your least involved nymphs barging her way into your room, but also in the company of a man you have never seen before—a man that shouldn’t be here.

“Taeko?!” You cry, snapping the young woman out of her feverish trance and into you: the severity of her actions.

“Y/N!” It wasn’t intentional, she thought she had led her one-time lover to the guest bedroom (or any other room that wasn’t yours for that matter), but her ignorance in her very own job, and overruling desires would play against her that very night, leading to this. “I—I wasn’t—”

“Who—who is he??” you fret, and Taeko, unable to fathom the depths of her mistakes, or have the courage to face them, does the one thing that would’ve placed her in deeper water if everything else hadn’t transpired: she bails on Naoya.

Quickly letting him go, turning around, and running into the hallways, as far away as possible whilst considering voluntary exile—a punishment she knew would get in the end if this somehow made way to your mother’s ears.

But until then, you’d have to deal with her wrongdoings instead: a slightly tipsy Naoya that has yet to understand what just transpired, struggling to whether be angry at the nymph who had the audacity to abandon him… or admiring the breathtaking beauty that stood before him.

A much, much more alluring sight that’s got him considering how he could even settle for something lower, when you were right here?

Naoya, against his very own survival, chooses the latter. Because even through the murkiness of his mind, he’s still able to discern the fact that your kind of exquisiteness is not one he gets to see every century—thus, should enjoy as much as he could.

Unfortunately, you do not think the same.

“Who—who are you?” you breathe, tightly clenching onto your blankets. If being invaded in the privacy of your own bedroom wasn’t enough, you still had the misfortune of being exposed in your nightgown.

Why is this happening to you? Is this the fate’s twisted way of fulfilling your prayers of meeting the outside world?

“Do you not know who I am??” Naoya gasps, offended by your seeming ignorance. Looks like alcohol wasn’t enough to sway his narcissistic tendencies, because in his mind, how is it possible for anyone to not know who the king of the Underworld is?

“No, I… don’t.” you press your lips together. And this partly infuriates and amuses him. You must be the kind of girl that likes to tease before succumbing to him; you’re only lucky that he finds you deliriously attractive, because had it been anyone else—

“You’re—you’re bleeding.”

Huh?

“Wh—what?” He groans. “What do you mean I’m bleeding??”

“There, on your side, you’re—you’re bleeding.” You repeat, pointing at the splotch of gold that extended the longer it went unattended, staining his robes.

Naoya looks down, quickly remembering the origin of said wound: a small altercation with some defiant subject just a few days ago before tonight. Or more likely, confronted by the husband of a nameless lover he bedded. It wasn’t supposed to happen, of course, but even almighty gods like him could suffer through their arrogance.

All that was left to wonder is how it managed to reopen again, was it his poor job at patching it up? Or the accidental bumps along the road your bedroom, courtesy of Taeko’s and his eagerness?

Guess it doesn’t matter now that he’s in this situation—though he didn’t expect you to rush to his aid.

“Wait, let me help you.” You insist before he’s able to do as much as move, rushing towards a nearby cabinet and taking out a small aid kit, filled with all kinds of utilities one might come to need in situations like this. Your accessibility to such things makes Naoya chuckle, already labeling you as prone to incidents. How adorable.

“…What?” you ask, quickly growing flustered at his reaction.

“Does this happen to you often?” He teases, his golden eyes taking in your face now that you light up a nearby candle; you were even more gorgeous like this. Though he preferred you… with less. “Do gods stumble upon your bedroom quite frequently?”

“No.” you frown. “This was for me. I’d often prick my fingers when I first started my duties … but that was a long time ago.”

“Ah, let me guess—a spring nymph?” Though for a nymph, you sure had commodities honorable of a goddess. And the perfect mounds on your chest too—Naoy has never been happier in his life to be given such a sight. He’d let himself get wounded more frequently if that was the reward.

You were tempted to correct his wrongful assumptions soon after, feeling somewhat afflicted that he’d confuse you, however your mother’s warnings are quick to step in, telling you to keep your identity a secret and let him believe you were nothing more than a serving spirit to the goddess of harvest. But why?

“Yes. I am.” You respond. “I take care of my moth—of the goddesses meadows and fields”

“Silly little nymph, you’re supposed to be careful when—ouch!”

You sharply pressed against his wound in retaliation, whether by his current remark of the pasts, it didn’t matter. What mattered is that you made the god of the dead eat his words.

“Sorry, I guess my hand just slipped.” You responded nonchalantly, moving on with your work. “You know, silly little nymph things.”

“Fine, fine. I get it.” Naoya squirms once more underneath your healing craft, cleaning and patching his wound with unprecedented care… that takes his whole attention upon noticing the striking warmth emanating from your hands.

Followed by the uncharacteristic calmness that engulfed his senses, leaving behind his lustful desires in favor of… peace. Silence.

Something he has never experienced before with anyone else, not even those that proclaimed their utmost loyalty to him.

And certainly not with a nameless nymph, whom he rightfully assumed to be lying about her true identity. You had to be much, much more than that if this was the effect you had on him.

But what?

Just who are you?

“It’s not a deep wound so it should heal quickly; with the right cares, at least.” You note, performing the last adjustments to his treatment before retracting. “There, it’s done. Good as new.”

“I hardly constitute a patch worthy of a god.”

“I guess I could’ve just let you bleed out.” You snap back, Naoya smirks, finding your quick answers amusing. Cute, even.

Definitely cute.

“But I guess I owe you my thanks, don’t I?” Naoya says, reaching out for your warm hands, convincing himself it was with the sole purpose of tasting you, and not because he wanted to bask deeper into your gentleness. Lulled into peace.

You, however, instinctively attempt to break away from his grasp, but the moment you give his touch a second longer of your consideration, you find yourself unable to resist him. The coarse edge on his skin that signifies an extensive, powerful story yet, laments the pain he must’ve endured to get to that point.

A deeper meaning to his presence which you soon verify to that of a god, just as he drunkenly admitted not so long ago.

A god.

He wasn’t delirious; he told the truth.

But still, he wasn’t supposed to be here, your mother—she wouldn’t like it.

And yet…

“What—what are you doing?” you blink, taken aback by his sudden closeness. His intentions were clear, he intended to do the only thing he knew to repay favors for little things like you, which your mind called for you to cease immediately!

But then, your heart… succumbed to the magnetic energy calling you to him; something, somehow, was slowly telling your subconscious that he was much, much more than what your eye saw.

That you’ve met him before, in some… lifetime. In some future, and today, right now, this kiss was the only way you’d recognize him.

So why won’t you just give…in…—

“Y/N!” With otherworldly timing, your mother suddenly calls for you, innocently performing her routinary checks on her adorable flower, while presenting perfect excuse to get a breather from the obnoxious gods she could not wait to see out of her haven.

Your hidden salvation, Naoya’s damnation.

“Y/N, darling, are you ok? Asleep already?”

“Mother!” you gasp, quickly freeing yourself from Naoya’s grasp and looking over to the door, where her footsteps were quickly approaching. Louder, and louder…!

“Mother?” Naoya repeats, unsure if he’s heard right—or perhaps even unwilling. Surely, this wasn’t possi—

No. it wouldn’t be impossible. If anything, it just made every make sense!

“She’s your mother?!” He breathes again. “The goddess of harvest is your mother?!”

“You’re not supposed to be here.” You swiftly say, completely disregarding his shock and subsequentially pushing him towards the window, the only route of escape he had this very moment less he wished to face her ire: which legends only described as devastating. “Get out, hurry!”

“Y/N… I saw your nymph’s out by the fields—is everything alright? Why did you dismiss them? Oh, don’t tell me you got into an argument…”

“No, mom, of course not! I just wanted to sleep early, that’s all!” you respond, returning to Naoya. “Get out, now!”

With one strong, unprecedented push, Naoya finally falls out your window with a loud thud that’s thankfully deafened by the nearby party; but even overwhelmed with pain, and some frustration at your imposing rejection, all he could utter was—

“When will I see you again?” he asks; the first time in his life doing so. Naoya just… he was unwilling to let you go.

Not when he’s yet to have you.

…Yet to know more of you.

Of the goddess with the warm hands, the gentle touch.

The sweet, rose-like scent that remains imprinted in his mind for eras to come.

“Never.” You firmly assess before shutting the window.

But he doesn’t let it get to him, if anything, it’s an invitation, a challenge—

A pursuit of the question that is left lingering on both your and his mind once the night is over:

What is this feeling settling in my heart?

I have like 5 more parts in the work so have fun looking forward to that :)

[snaccpopstudios]

Hi everyone! We're here with the long awaited post on our newest bachelor, Simoun. We know you've all been abuzz with questions about him so we hope to answer some of that in this deep dive into his creation. This post is in lieu of our usual Wednesday devlogs as we've been writing this over the span of several weeks, and was co-authored, edited, and reviewed by Tobias, Jude, ToyboxToonz, Primarvelous, and Sauce. The above image was drawn by @toyboxtoonz.

You can read the full post for free on Patreon, or click the readmore to see it all!

Personally speaking, some of my concerns since Simoun's debut are thoughts like "Do people think I'm making SnaccPop Studios push an agenda?" and "Do people think I'm going through a checklist while making new characters?" It's made it difficult for us to write this quickly because this is quite personal to myself and the rest of the sensitivity consultation team on the DachaBo team.

Concept to Creation

The story of DachaBo begins way before SnaccPop Studios itself was even a concept (that's Sauce's story to tell though). Early Patreon art of Simoun exists from November 2022, back before I was signed on to manage the Patreon and any other projects besides Sunny Day Jack. Sauce had some ideas laying around for several other characters in the DachaBo universe that didn't make it into the proof-of-concept demo:

I dug up an old draft for the DachaBo cat character we teased and it featured a story concept where the cat character was originally a female DachaBo character, referencing the original female design. And overtime he got tired of how he was being treated and decided to change his own self to reflect who he wanted to be, not the sycophants who collected the toys and whatnot ... It was shelved because I didnt have the means to sensitivity check it The designs are half cooked is all but he was supposed to be Indian ethnicity coded for no other reason than I've never seen a character like that

One thing that's important to note is that there definitely are Indian folks who are gender diverse (see Hijra on Wikipedia for a quick primer on one of the traditionally recognized nonbinary genders in South Asia) so it's not a novel concept by any means, but it's also not very common in media whatsoever.

Why The Long Wait?

One of the other contributing reasons as to why Sauce wasn't able to do much with the concept at the time is because we didn't have a VA for him confirmed yet, as I explained in May:

One thing that's rather unique to SnaccPop Studios in all of my experience as a game developer is the fact that all of our series involve coordinating with Voice Actors from the start, which means we need to take the VAs themselves into account when making characters. Adding another layer of complexity in hiring is the fact that SnaccPop Studios is a strictly Erotic Adult brand focusing on masculine love interests, and even if we focus more on the softcore, there's still the unfortunate stigma that any 18+ work has when attached to your name. All of these contributing factors make the potential talent pool that much smaller. This isn't to make excuses: I know SnaccPop Studios can do better on this front. While we can't make changes to some of the existing series' main cast (we don't want to put people out of a role they've been promised), we will do better moving forward to incorporate more diverse characters into our future titles, and that's a pledge

In the field of voice acting, it's best practice to cast actors with similar backgrounds to the character they're voicing, particularly for characters from marginalized populations (ethnicity, culture, gender, etc.), because it's a recurring issue in all professions where marginalized folks are regularly turned down for employment or career opportunities. You don't have to look far for instances where other voice directors failed to cast the proper talent for a character, even in the AAA sphere where they ought to have the resources to be able to find the proper talent; at SnaccPop, we wanted to avoid that situation at all costs.

Finding Simoun's Voice

So we had to confirm a VA first before we could do anything. Sauce, Reece, and I all tried to put private ads out for a trans masc POC (any ethnicity with dark skin) actor for a R18 game, which was largely met with silence at first, then responded to by folks who didn't fit the role in a full capacity (many only hit one or two of the criteria we laid out, some of them none at all). And it's not hard to imagine why: it's common knowledge that the majority of erotic works often fetishize marginalized people who are otherwise underrepresented in mainstream media. Things such as skin color, body type, hair color, age, etc. are treated as traits to be objectified, and on the off chance that queer folks or people of color might see themselves in porn… it's usually not for the most flattering or empowering of reasons. How could we, an exclusively Adults-only studio, convince someone who isn't familiar with us that we wanted to make something for people like them rather than something that turns them into mere masturbating material?

We were almost about to give up on the Catboy until I decided to take a chance on contacting a VA whom I hadn't had any formal and proper interactions with before. I'd been a fan of his work and knew him from an audition he sent in from a previous game I had worked on, but he knew me solely by name at best since we were following each other on Twitter. Still, it was a lead, and after chewing my nails for half a day, I shot off a message to Soren Viloria.

And what do you know? He said he'd give it a shot as his first NSFW role.

Naming the Lad

Soren is a Filipino VA, and despite the fact that I myself seem to be mistaken as Filipino by other Asians quite regularly, I'm actually not as well-versed in that culture as I ought to be.

There's actually a reason why we were so secretive with Simoun's name for a while: he didn't have one yet, so internally we just kept calling him "the Catboy." We wanted to pick a culture-appropriate name for him, something that was meaningful: Soren initially suggested "Siopao" as it was a common cat name (it's a type of Filipino Steamed Bun, so think of how many pets you've seen who have names like Cupcake or Nacho Supreme), but that didn't seem serious enough for a tsundere catboy like him. A few days later, Soren did a little research on a few well-known characters from Philippine media/culture that fit the bill a bit better:

Elías from the Philippine Revolution novel Noli Me Tángere (a required reading in the Philippines). Cat may like his radical tendencies for revolution and his deep, devoted connections.

Simoun from Noli's sequel, El filibusterismo. Holds revolutionary values similar to Elías, but far less noble and more of a loner. Violent at times, and will do what it takes to get his way.

Panday/Flavio, a very popular hero. Part of his charm is that he doesn't have special powers, but took matters into his own hands and forged a magical blade. Has been portrayed in both 'cool' and comedic ways.

Ricardo "Cardo" from the Philippines' longest-running TV drama Ang Probinsyano. Just a cool action hero dude who cares about family, but is also very ambitious and angy.

Seeing as how we already had an Elias Gallagher, Simoun seemed to be the perfect fit, and the name stuck pretty easily.

Simoun's Boundaries

Now that Simoun had a name, we were able to talk about him more seriously beyond the simple "tsundere cat" tropes. You've all already met Gil Finnegan, who we originally brought into SnaccPop Studios to handle the narrative design for DachaBo but was then onboarded to help with Sunny Day Jack, and those of you in the Patreon Discord server are familiar with our mods Tobias and Jude; along with me and Soren Viloria, that brought the grand total of openly trans masculine members on the team.

We all talked about our personal experiences as trans masc/AFAB people, what things we rarely saw reflected in both mainstream and indie media, things we wanted to see more of. Something we all agreed that was difficult to find was trans masculine folks in sexually dominant roles in erotic media, whether that was live video, audio, writing, art, or a combination thereof; there was only a handful of series we could count on our fingers as far as sexually explicit content that featured trans masculine people in roles that weren't exclusively submissive/bottoms, and the majority of us had already seen those or at least heard of them before (ie. Gummy and the Doctor and Sasha From The Gym were prominent ones). Either discovering this content was difficult due to Search Engine Optimization favoring depictions of trans feminine folks, or it simply didn't exist.

All of this, along with the backstory that Sauce had for Simoun, led us to determine that Simoun would be adverse to submissive roles in intimate situations. Simoun isn't the type to want to be penetrated either due to previous trauma surrounding his gender. Bear in mind that this isn't meant to imply or suggest that there is only one "acceptable" sexual preference for trans masculine folks, nor is Simoun meant to represent all of trans masculinity; he may be our first trans masculine character but certainly isn't the last, as we hope to feature more types of characters at SnaccPop Studios.

As an aside, it should be noted that the trend of erotic trans feminine content being more readily available doesn't necessarily mean that trans women have more positive representation per se; for every kinky piece of art created by trans feminine folks out there, there could be ten more works that fetishize and objectify their bodies. We probably don't need to tell you about the common derogatory slurs that have been used to refer to them; trans feminine and trans masculine people deal with varying levels and types of transphobia as well as situations that oversexualize (or even undersexualize) them, and it's important to focus on content that doesn't strip them of their autonomy.

There actually was a period of time between the release of his concept art after Soren was onboarded where the team observed comments both on Patreon and in the Discord regarding Simoun, and we discussed how we could avoid having people try to ship Bo and Simoun together; because Simoun hasn't had bottom surgery of any kind, we wanted to ensure that tokophobia (fear of pregnancy) or dysphoria wouldn't become a thing for any of us involved in the team or for our trans masculine Patrons. It was a bit of a chicken or the egg situation, trying to keep up with the evolving comments about Simoun to try and anticipate what people might accidentally say.

Debut Day Thoughts, & Moving Forward

We were quite happy with the general reception everyone had with Simoun, and we're excited to see so many people taking a liking to Simoun after his reveal. SnaccPop Studios has always strived to provide inclusive and diverse stories for those who don't often get represented in media, much less NSFW media, and the team was quite elated to see folks who were just as happy to see Simoun.

We hope that the love and care we put into building Simoun has shone through in this post and will continue to shine as we write more of him for DachaBo, because we're just getting started.

[magnusunpopularopinions]

Anon says:

“I'm so glad this blog exists!! Now I can actually be honest about this show without getting my neck metaphorically snapped ajskdke

Short Version: I seriously think that the romance between John and Martin is the weakest aspect of the show and the crew fumbled the ball on making them believable.

Long Version: I understand that Martin was madly in love with John from the start but, even after the ship became canon, I genuinely don't understand what they see in each other. Se1 Jon treated Martin like shit and even if it's supposed to be interpreted as typical Tsundere behavior, I still don't get why Martin fell in love with the workplace bully. And likewise, John's complaints and dislike for Martin's clinginess and shoddy work ethic were justified as John seemed like a married-to-one's-work type of guy, it makes complete sense for Martin to drive him up a wall.

The reveal from Elias (118) that Martin has some "precious image" of John inside his head made a lot of sense. I was like, 'Oh! So he's only in love with the idea of John, not the person he actually is!? That's crazy!' And I was honestly happier under the impression that his feelings were unrequited and he was just too obsessed to take the hint. That would've made his adventure into Lonely Avatarhood way more interesting. To know that the man you love isn't the him you want to be with and the real him never loved you back anyway...

On that point too, John's desperation to keep Martin from turning fully in Se4 felt more like a begging plea to keep the last of his original assistants alive than anything truly romantic.

But nonetheless, John and Martin have only interacted a handful of times before the end of Se4, and only two of them were positive (039 being the main one I can remember). The rest of the show's runtime is them hearing about the other through hearsay, progressing the plot, and arguing over John's increasing monster-status, with an added dash of John getting audibly uncomfortable whenever romance came up in conversation. That's not enough to build an eventual love confession and romantic relationship on. No matter how hard the fandom shippers carry it with their art and fics, they shouldn't have to do the heavy lifting in the writers' stead.

Don't get me wrong though! 186 and Epiphany (winner of the Magnus Fluff contest) were FANTASTIC, and if we had seen more of THAT before they got together, I'd have no complaints!

It just wasn't apparent enough that John ever reciprocated in canon.”

—————————————————————————

Thanks for sharing! Let’s chat!

1) Sorry to anon, but the ask went HAYWIRE in my inbox and this was the only way I could get it out. My apologies! I haven’t changed anything!

2) Ok, ok… I have to speak my truth. I am also not the biggest fan of Jmart. I agree with anon- Jon is the kind of guy who likes to be and works best alone. Martin’s approach to Jon did seem quite obsessive and it just felt very… sudden that they should become a couple. I just never saw it, and when it did happen, it felt quite out of left field.

3) Now I want to play devil’s advocate to anon and myself because DISCUSSION! I love talking things out in a respectful and kind way, and that’s what we’re here to do!

-Alrighty so, if Jon is adverse to romance as anon says, why did Johnny and Alex decide to make Jmart cannon? Wouldn’t that go against all of Johnny’s hard work in building up believable characters?

-Secondly, doesn’t fan response make Jmart more believable? This to say- if fans picked it out so quickly, doesn’t that mean it was obvious from the start? (Or is this just how fan bases work? Michael and Gerry never met and yet we have DoorKeay!)

4) I wanted to reiterate something: Quite often my posts get circulated without the context of why I made this blog (and honestly I may start putting it at the bottom of every post I make from here on out.) I created this to be a safe space to share opinions without harsh feedback or rude response. You are very welcome to disagree with someone! In fact, I encourage this sort of back and forth! But if your words are not respectful and kind, then I cannot hear you out. We can disagree with each other and still be kind. If we cannot be kind to one another in such a small community as a fan base, then it becomes harder to hold on to hope of kindness outside of it.

I’ll step off my soap box now, and say that I’ve been meaning to say as much for a minute. It does not correlate as much to this ask/post as it does to some others that have received mixed responses. As expected, some people have taken my posts and responded in negative ways.

I can’t stop people from responding negatively. What I can do is make sure that, no matter who sees these, that they know where I stand as a Tumblr user, blog author, and person. I value kindness and respect above all else. If I ever veer from this, call me out.

5) I appreciate you guys a lot, and I have been so so grateful to have this community. Keep those asks coming!

Thanks for sharing and remember to keep your words kind!

-E

[meefy]

Diverse Autistic Characters in Akagami no Shirayukihime

I could go on for hours about my dislike of how autism is, for the most part, portrayed in popular media - the butt of a cruel joke; autism representation by a non-Autistic actor; or centered around the plot of the story itself, where it boils down to the Autistic person "overcoming" their autism or some outside force "fixing" it (or, semi related, an Autistic character being shoehorned in as a token minority).

I think that's one of the reason I love Akagami no Shirayukihime so much. While none of the characters are confirmed as Autistic, the ones that are quite blatantly Autistic-coded are so diverse and so welcomed by the cast that it's both sweet and refreshing to see.

I have talked at length about Ryuu and why I love his character so much, so I don't want to get into it too much here because I've said most of what I want to say. He is, at first glance, the "typical" popular culture depiction of autism: the male child savant who has no friends, can't socialize, and has the niche restricted interests in science that seem to characterize every big Autistic character in media. But it doesn't take long to see he is so much more than that! His interests in poisons has granted him a field of study and work where he thrives and does what he loves day in and day out. His mentor, Garak, supports him and treats him as an equal, and looks for opportunities for him to grow - as does everyone around him, including Shirayuki.

Ryuu's time in Lilias was so beautifully depicted. The years he spends studying and working there are not him masking his Autistic traits or "beating" them; they are years of him feeling safe and supported enough to test his comfort levels and branch out because he knows he won't be mocked or scorned for it. He has found an environment where he thrives because of his Autistic traits, not in spite of them. And so, as of most recently, we see that he wants to remain in Lilias to continue his studies there because of this. His growth is not reduced to finally acting neurotypical; Ryuu being Autistic has not changed. But he has found others who share his passions, who support him, and who encourage him without changing who he is.

I also want to touch on Kirito specifically, because he is one of the few people Ryuu's own age who interacts with him. Kirito is too young to hold back his questions about Ryuu's behaviour. Why is he running away from a crowd of people? Why has he never had a snowball fight? But Kirito doesn't dwell on Ryuu's quirks; he accepts them, moves on, and focuses on what the two have in common - which is what I would hope for any Autistic person, myself included.

What is particularly special to me about how Autistic characters are depicted in AnS is the diversity. Too often I see Autistic characters depicted in the same way, like the author read a WebMD checklist and created a character around said list. Autism is a spectrum, and with that comes two ends of the spectrum.

Which brings me to Lata.

Although I haven't explicitly mentioned at length Lata + autism the same way I've discussed it about Ryuu (and although I could write a whole essay on it), I do want to go in a bit more depth because his overlap and contrast with Ryuu is exactly the kind of Autistic representation I live for. Ryuu actively wants to work to help people; Lata seeks to work in solitude. Ryuu is open and generally friendly with others, Lata is blunt and evasive. Ryuu's expressions are generally flat (and his voice monotone in the anime); Lata is quite expressive (even if he doesn't smile often, and neither does Ryuu). Yet we see certain similarities between the two; for instance, both have their own niche hyperfixations that they absolutely live for, and neither is totally at ease in crowds.

But leaving Ryuu out of the equation, one of my favourite things about Lata's character is that none of the Lyrias crew seemed genuinely bothered by how he acts. Like, even Obi's teasing is, by and large, in good faith. They're just like "Oh, that’s just how Lata is..." and move past it. Most recently in Chapter 133, Shirayuki is visibly happy to see him. And related to that, the other scholars always go out of their way to include and invite him to their outings - to their banquet celebrating the successful germination of the phostyrias, or to see them blooming in their lab. Even if he always declines, and they probably know he will always decline, they ask. Speaking on a personal note, I am like Lata and really, really hate parties or any large gathering; so people (understandably) stopped inviting me. And that hurt; even if I knew I'd say no, and wouldn't go, people actually thinking of me meant a lot more than they likely realized.

So, seeing representation of people actively trying to invite and include their Autistic comrade means so much to me.

Lastly, I want to talk about Shirayuki. It's not terribly often that Autistic representation in media is a female character, let alone the lead character. I know I am not alone in thinking Shirayuki is Autistic, but I do love its subtlety unless you know what to look for. The long running theory that there is a "girl" autism (versus the stereotypical "male" autism that is most commonly diagnosed and seen in popular culture) is absurd; autism is a spectrum, and just where some Autistics are reclusive, have a flat affect, and exhibit quirky behaviours and interests, there are plenty that are the complete opposite, or somewhere else along the spectrum. In many respects, this describes Shirayuki; she seems to have no trouble making friends, attending parties, or showing emotion.

And yet, she has the intense focus in herbalism and pharmacology that mirrors Ryuu's in many respects; she just does not express that interest in the same, "typical" Autistic way. She reads her textbooks to relax and spends time in a garden (the latter of which is, stereotypically, a perfectly expected behaviour for someone of her gender). It's easy to forget that, much like how Ryuu ran away from the crowd on his first day in Lyrias (a depiction of an Autistic shutdown), Shirayuki ran away from Zen when her feelings for him became too overwhelming. She asks Zen for a comfort object of his when she leaves for Tanbarun, much like how many Autistic people have a particular tangible object that gives them comfort. Shirayuki is also blunt; she tells Prince Raji to act more like a leader she can be proud of, and rebuffs the knight who insults Ryuu at the beginning of the story - her low rank does not deter her. Autistic people are sometimes known for apparently "not understanding" power dynamics and rules (which I doubt, as do most Autistic people - I think it's more likely that the rules and dynamics are simply unfair, and created and upheld by neurotypical people) - Shirayuki's behaviour certainly seems to fit this. She is not rude by any means...but where it might intimidate many others, a person's title does not keep her from speaking her mind. In many respects she reminds me of myself!

I could go on and on about this topic - and how different Autistic traits are present in different characters - but I'm comfortable stopping at Ryuu, Lata, and Shirayuki (at least for now), and reiterating that media like AnS proves that diverse Autistic characters can exist without being a punchline, can grow throughout the story without shedding their Autistic traits, and can be accepted, supported, and loved by others for who they are. This series is dear to my heart, and this is but one (albeit huge) reason why!

[bucksdaffy]

re: tommy and his involvement in the S8 opening disaster

we obviously haven't seen the final part of the premiere yet, and we have no way of knowing if tommy's involved in the rescue in any capacity. however, i think we can safely assume that he is not landing the plane (which, after watching 8x02, i can't say i'm disappointed about) or assisting with the landing from the ground. 911 is a show that, while dramatic, remains grounded in reality. it bases the emergency calls on real-life events, though amped up for entertainment purposes.

tommy is a pilot, yes, but we don't know for sure if he flies both helicopters and planes. even if he knows how to land a commercial plane, that's great—but why choose a random firefighter, who may only be slightly familiar with the process, over an expert in the field? i love the theory, but it was far-fetched from the start, given that 911 isn't, as some might believe, that unrealistic in the events it portrays.

i think IF tommy is involved, the best-case scenario is that his primary role will be connected to buck (let's keep in mind that tommy isn’t a main character; he is a supporting character whose primary role is to serve as a love interest for one of the main characters. while he exists as a character in his own right, separate from buck, his role primarily centers on being buck’s love interest, whether we like it or not). i think he might worry because when the 118 arrives at the scene, buck's nowhere to be found, and then he learns he's on the highway with bobby while the plane is coming straight at them. once the plane has landed and everything is more or less under control, he and buck will reunite and that will likely be the extent of it. this is what i hope to see, but i'm ready for the possibility that i might be setting myself up for disappointment.

if tommy is involved but his role isn't connected to buck, i would expect him to be in the background, simply doing his job. then, if the show includes scenes centered around individual main characters, we may see him interact with buck in relation to their relationship.

i think these are the most plausible options for tommy in the 8x03. there is also a possibility that he won't appear in that episode at all (or that he will appear only in the individual scene with buck), but personally, i think it would be a strange choice, given that 217 is at the scene.

unless we don't see him next week, i can't say i'm disappointed with how this opening disaster has played out. i thought i would be, but after seeing 8x02, i realized it's much better this way. i love the idea of tommy helping to land the plane, and i beg my fellow fanfiction writers to make the best of this concept. i think it would work great in fanon, but i don't think it would translate effectively to canon, especially now.

this is not the buck and tommy show; it's 911. and once again, tommy is not a main character; he's a recurring love interest. buck and tommy's romance has only just begun, and they're still in the early stages of their relationship. we need them to build that connection, and the writers need to make the GA care more about (buck)tommy before we can get some gut-wrenching, heartfelt moments similar to those bobby and athena have. for now, we might get only small parallels, if anything, and that's okay. we need time to get to the big moments so that they can hit harder.

why create a plane disaster and not involve buck's hot pilot boyfriend in a significant way? well, perhaps the opening disaster is meant to set the tone for S8, suggesting that we’ll see more air rescues in the future. it might also serve as an opportunity to introduce us to the 217 team, allowing us to get to know one or two of tommy’s coworkers who could come in handy as the show progresses. it could also foreshadow a significant event later in the season involving buck and tommy, such as a helicopter crash. maybe tim also wanted to give buck and tommy the chance to work on the same call together? or perhaps he simply thought it would be exciting for 9-1-1 to tackle a plane disaster, without any specific implications for our favourite pairing.

either way i do think that as the show progresses, we'll see tommy become more involved, not only in his relationship with buck but also in the central dynamics of the show with the other characters. we just need to give it time and have trust—rome wasn't built in a day, after all. let's just appreciate what we have now and avoid being greedy. i think tim's doing a great job so far of balancing everything for the audience. as fans of the show, i think we should be grateful for that.

[elbdot]

Hi, first of all I love your art and am a huge fan of EAA.

Secondly, I don't know if you play DnD at all but I saw "Field Guide to Floral Dragons" on kickstarter and it reminded me of your art so just wanted to let you know because I thought it was cool.

Again, love your art and am looking forward to future chapters of EAA!

Thank you so much!!! :DD

YES I've seen the Field Guide Kickstarter, at this point it gets shown to me on Instagram EVERY DAY, the algorithm sure knows my interests 😂 It looks like an awesome book and I both LOVE that it's being so well received and at the same time hate that I have such bittersweet feelings about it, because it is exactly what I've been dreaming to publish myself for years and it's just. Frustrating that I'm still exactly where I left off 2 years ago. I'm happy the Kickstarter is such a huge success, it gives me hope people could get just as excited once my Gardendragons get republished again, hopefully in a big way! But a little insecure gremlin-voice inside my head makes me also afraid people will think of me as a copycat, even though my book has been written and illustrated LONG before in 2016 already 😂

Technically I know nothing is truly original, the concept of flower-based dragons is not unique. And I know my Guidebook will be VERY DIFFERENT, especially since my book would not be tied to DnD, it's more about connecting science with fantasy, a gardening book that teaches about insects and flowers THROUGH dragons. All my flower dragons are the size of flowers or smaller and are supposed to live in the real world, with the intention of teaching kids and adults about our native flora and importance of wild bees, as they live in a symbiosis with the dragons. And at the final chapter you get to learn what to plant in your garden to create a habitat for both dragons and bees!

I shouldn't be disencouraged, I shouldn't be envious or sad, just because I haven't found a new publisher or book agent yet, but I just want my Gardendragon books to be translated and republished SO BADLY but haven't made any new contacts yet that could help me reach my goal 😂

I should REALLY work on more illustrations or even animations to at least make my little dragons a bit more known on the internet. I'd love to see them flourish again ;w;

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: hello! thank you for running this blog. i hope your vacation was well-spent!

i am an enfp in the third year of my engineering degree. i had initially wanted to do literature and become an author. however, due to the job security associated with this field, my parents got me to do computer science, specialising in artificial intelligence. i did think it was the end of my life at the time, but eventually convinced myself otherwise. after all, i could still continue reading and writing as hobbies.

now, three years in, i am having the same thoughts again. i've been feeling disillusioned from the whole gen-ai thing due to art theft issues and people using it to bypass - dare i say, outsource - creative work. also, the environmental impact of this technology is astounding. yet, every instructor tells us to use ai to get information that could easily be looked up in textbooks or google. what makes it worse is that i recently lost an essay competition to a guy who i know for a fact used chatgpt.

i can't help feeling that by working in this industry, i am becoming a part of the problem. at the same time, i feel like a conservative old person who is rejecting modern technology and griping about 'the good old days'.

another thing is that college work is just so all-consuming and tiring that i've barely read or written anything non-academic in the past few years. quitting my job and becoming a writer a few years down the road is seeming more and more like a doomed possibility.

i've been trying to do what i can at my level. i write articles about ethical considerations in ai for the college newsletter. i am in a technical events club, and am planning out an artificial intelligence introductory workshop for juniors where i will include these topics, if approved by the superiors.

from what i've read on your blog, it doesn't seem like you have a very high opinion of ai, either, but i've only seen you address it in terms of writing. i'd like to know, are there any ai applications that you find beneficial? i think that now that i am here, i could try to make a difference by working on projects that actually help people, rather than use some chatgpt api to do the same things, repackaged. i just felt like i need the perspective of someone who thinks differently than all those around me. not in a 'feed my tunnel-vision' way, but in a 'tell me i'm not stupid' way.

----------------------

It's kind of interesting (in the "isn't life whacky?" sort of way) you chose the one field that has the potential to decimate the field that you actually wanted to be in. I certainly understand your inner conflict and I'll give you my personal views, but I don't know how much they will help your decision making.

I'm of course concerned about the ramifications on writing not just because I'm a writer but because, from the perspective of education and personal growth, I understand the enormous value of writing skills. Learning to write analytically is challenging. I've witnessed many people meet that challenge bravely, and in the process, they became much more intelligent and thoughtful human beings, better able to contribute positively to society. So, it pains me to see the attitude of "don't have to learn it cuz the machine does it". However, writing doesn't encompass my full view on AI.

I wouldn't necessarily stereotype people who are against new technology as "old and conservative", though some of them are. My parents taught me to be an early adopter of new tech, but it doesn't mean I don't have reservations about it. I think, psychologically, the main reason people resist is because of the real threat it poses. Historically, we like to gloss over the real human suffering that results from technological advancement. But it is a reasonable and legitimate response to resist something that threatens your livelihood and even your very existence.

For example, it is already difficult enough to make a living in the arts, and AI just might make it impossible. Even if you do come up with something genuinely creative and valuable, how are you going to make a living with it? As soon as creative products are digitized, they just get scraped up, regurgitated, and disseminated to the masses with no credit or compensation given to the original creator. It's cannibalism. Cannibalism isn't sustainable.

I wonder if people can seriously imagine a society where human creativity in the arts has been made obsolete and people only have exposure to AI creation. There are plenty of people who don't fully grasp the value of human creativity, so they wouldn't mind it, but I would personally consider it to be a kind of hell.

I occasionally mention that my true passion is researching "meaning" and how people come to imbue their life with a sense of meaning. Creativity has a major role to play in 1) almost everything that makes life/living feel worthwhile, 2) generating a culture that is worth honoring and preserving, and 3) building a society that is worthy of devoting our efforts to.

Living in a capitalist society that treats people as mere tools of productivity and treats education as a mere means to a paycheck already robs us of so much meaning. In many ways, AI is a logical result of that mindset, of trying to "extract" whatever value humans have left to offer, until we are nothing but empty shells.

I don't think it's a coincidence that AI comes out of a society that devalues humanity to the point where a troubling portion of the population suffers marginalization, mental disorder, and/or feels existentially empty. Many of the arguments I've heard from AI proponents about how it can improve life sound to me like they're actually going to accelerate spiritual starvation.

Existential concerns are serious enough, before we even get to the environmental concerns. For me, environment is the biggest reason to be suspicious of AI and its true cost. I think too many people are unaware of the environmental impact of computing and networking in general, let alone running AI systems. I recently read about how much energy it takes to store all the forgotten chats, memes, and posts on social media. AI ramps up carbon emissions dramatically and wastes an already dwindling supply of fresh water.

Can we really afford a mass experiment with AI at a time when we are already hurtling toward climate catastrophe? When you think about how much AI is used for trivial entertainment or pointless busywork, it doesn't seem worth the environmental cost. I care about this enough that I try to reduce my digital footprint. But I'm just one person and most of the population is trending the other way.

With respect to integrating AI into personal life or everyday living, I struggle to see the value, often because those who might benefit the most are the ones who don't have access. Yes, I've seen some people have success with using AI to plan and organize, but I also always secretly wonder at how their life got to the point of needing that much outside help. Sure, AI may help with certain disadvantages such as learning or physical disabilities, but this segment of the population is usually the last to reap the benefits of technology.

More often than not, I see people using AI to lie, cheat, steal, and protect their own privilege. It's particularly sad for me to see people lying to themselves, e.g., believing that they're smart for using AI when they're actually making themselves stupider, or thinking that an AI companion can replace real human relationship.

I continue to believe that releasing AI into the wild, without developing proper safeguards, was the biggest mistake made so far. The revolts at OpenAI prove, once again, that companies cannot be trusted to regulate themselves. Tech companies need a constant stream of data to feed the beast and they're willing to sacrifice our well-being to do it. It seems the only thing we can do as individuals is stop offering up our data, but that's not going to happen en masse.

Even though you're aware of these issues, I want to mention them for those who aren't, and for the sake of emphasizing just how important it is to regulate AI and limit its use to the things that are most likely to produce a benefit to humanity, in terms of actually improving quality of human life in concrete terms.

In my opinion, the most worthwhile place to use AI is medicine and medical research. For example, aggregating and analyzing information for doctors, assisting surgeons with difficult procedures, and coming up with new possibilities for vaccines, treatments, and cures is where I'd like to see AI shine. I'd also love to see AI applied to:

scientific research, to help scientists sort, manage, and process huge amounts of information

educational resources, to help learners find quality information more efficiently, rather than feeding them misinformation

engineering and design, to build more sustainable infrastructure

space exploration, to find better ways of traveling through space or surviving on other planets

statistical analysis, to help policymakers take a more objective look at whether solutions are actually working as intended, as opposed to being blinded by wishful thinking, bias, hubris, or ideology (I recognize this point is controversial since AI can be biased as well)

Even though you work in the field, you're still only one person, so you don't have that much more power than anyone else to change its direction. There's no putting the worms back in the can at this point. I agree with you that, for the sake of your well-being, staying in the field means choosing your work carefully. However, if you want to work for an organization that doesn't sacrifice people at the altar of profit, it might be slim pickings and the pay might not be great. Staying true to your values can be costly too.

[sleepyconfusedpotato]

hey, sleepy! hope you’re having a wonderful day :)

If im not mistaken, you were/are studying visual art in college (correct me if i’m wrong), and id be glad to know your opinion about it: would you say that the college helped you to improve your art? (1-10)

im about to finish school and i do want to work with art, yet, im uncertain about colleges and what they will be offering (if the content will be taught by fundamentals to coloring or character design)

tysm! all the best 🩷 keep going w the inktober drawings, they’re amazing

Hello! Hope you have a wonderful day as well!

Okay so yes I did go to visual art college. However, the thing is, I major and got my bachelor degree in "Visual Communication Design" the emphasis being the "Communication" here. So we study communication through visual arts. I learn to not only make art to only be understood by me, but also by everyone else. The lecturers taught psychology, perception, and so much more!

It actually depends on yourself. I personally would categorize the art college experience in 3 categories : PERSONAL, FRIENDSHIP, and LECTURER aspect. (This is my own personal experience in college in Indonesia. Your college and the culture in your country might be different)

PERSONAL ASPECT - Art college will assign you with countless assignments. With hundreds of drawings every year. It depends on me to half-ass it or give it my all. Giving it my all means I study what I'm supposed to be drawing, and work with what I can do and can't do. Say, there's an assignment to make a comic about traditional medicines in Indonesia. I learn to research. What should people who read it know? What's not required. Which one is just additional information? I learn to organize/put hierarchy on information. Now that I know which one is important and which ones don't, I have to convey it through drawings. Now that's the thing I study. On the other hand, I myself developed my own artstyle as the assignments go. You draw SO DAMN MUCH by the second/third year my artstyle has finally gotten established (plus as some of you may know, I also started drawing CoD fanarts as sleepyconfusedpotato in Tumblr around the start of college, so GhostJade also helped me find my own artstyle). So the lecturers don't really TEACH you much about drawing. They give you lessons and assignments so you can learn to draw by yourself. What you need to do is to learn how to study - develop your brain so it's always in constant learning mode.

FRIENDSHIP ASPECT - Art college HUMBLED me. When I was in high school, I was THE art kid of the class, but when I got into art college, I was just a speck of dust! I meet more developed friends and even more experienced friends who've achieved more. HOWEVER, the college experience is to experience it with friends. In Indonesia we tend to do the art assignments together, lend art supplies together, go to cafe's together. Work independently together in a communal way. I learn to ask friends what they think, and what they think should be improved. I can't tell you how much my friends' comments and ideas have broken me out of art block. A second, third, fourth opinion is always a good additional consideration. Because they see our art without knowing what's inside our brain. They're good test screening for audiences.

LECTURER ASPECT - Lecturers are there to GIVE YOU OPPORTUNITIES. Makes you a better thinker, and gives comments about our drawings. They give the final feedbacks. To make use of the lecturers, CHASE THE LECTURERS. Ask them stuff, make their knowledge yours. Another thing is, lecturers are usually famous people/known experts in their fields. Ask them for opportunities. "Sir can I join you in one of your researches?" "Ma'am do you know a good resource/book if I want to learn about this?" "Sir, do you know people from this field that I can contact so I can start working with them? I'm interested in what they do and I think it'd be exciting to work under their guidance." From there, your connection to the art world BEYOND your college will broaden. Your lecturers can even write recommendation letters! You'll get to go to internships in various companies/studios with their recommendations. This can fill up your portfolio and CV for when you've graduated from college. College is first and foremost a Field of Opportunities. Student Exchanges! Researches! Guest Lecturers! The lecturers are your doors towards these things. ----

SO. After I yap so much, I guess the final thing I can say is this : College experience won't be much different if you just stay still and work alone. As much as an introvert I am, I learn to communicate with others, how to befriend people, how to communicate with experts respectfully, etc. I learned that if I want to thrive in art for life, I need to make use of this college experience, make the 4 years I spend in this institution worth my time.

So that's what I can share! Once again, I want to remind that this is my Indonesian college experience. Your college culture might be different, but college is supposed to help you grow.

PHEW I yapped a bit there, but thank you for asking!

[future-ghoost]

16 and 28 for rook codex writing prompts :)

Oh hi T-aash 👋

You picked a good time to ask - I'm in the middle of writing so the creative juices (and whisky) are flowing.

16. Letter from Rook to their love interest (NeveXGreyWardenRook)

Let's pick the context of Rook having to go on a mission to clear out some of the Blight that remained post-game.

Neve,

I've never been one for cities. Growing up in the countryside surrounded by nothing but fields and gardens makes you used to isolation and open expanses of land. Being a Grey Warden for a decade makes you used to camaraderie and wary of crowds and strangers.

I've never really liked the rain. It's never been more than an inconvenience - nothing more than a sign I'd have to re-grease my armour and carefully place my socks over the fire so they'd dry out before morning.

Even so, I can't help but miss Minrathous. It's energy, the people, the streets and towering buildings, the views across the docks and the never-ending rain. I never could have imagined I'd find myself living in such a place. More than that, I never could have imagined myself happy living in such a place. Yet, out here, in places where the views go on for miles and the sun shines on Davrin, Assan and I as we clear out the remainder of the same Blight I've been fighting for my entire adult life, I can't help but find myself yearning for it.

You're the best detective in Thedas, so I won't bore you by explaining the obvious reason why I wish to come home.

But, Maker, do I miss you.

You'd never believe it, but out here in the middle of nowhere, Davrin actually makes a coffee worse than you. He tries his best, but it's hard to control the temperature of water over a campfire. And while it's nice to see the stars at night, they're hard to enjoy when I don't have you following the point of my finger when I name every constellation I can remember.

You'll be glad to know that Assan is at least happy. Unlike the city, or the Fade there are snacks everywhere for a growing griffon. You'd be amazed to see how big he's getting. We might have to widen the doors of your apartment when I get back if you want to have him stay over.

There are moments of lonliness out here that I've never experienced before, even with Davrin and Assan by my side. I haven't been injured much (please don't worry for me, a few months on the road and all the weight gained from Lucanis' food has turned to muscle), but Davrin doesn't hold a candle to you as a healer. In the moments where I'm getting a wound wrapped, I feel you here with me sometimes. Your soft hands, your warm voice chastising me for not dodging quickly enough.

Still, the new scars are worth the work we're doing out here. You'd be so proud to see what we've accomplished. Killing Darkspawn isn't all being on our own in the middle of nowhere. We've been to new places, new towns and met some incredible people. The Blight is much more complex than it seems - it worms its way into their lives in ways you can't imagine unless you've been in our position. Without the Gods to command it, it's not quite as brutal, but its effects still persist. But because of the work we've done, people are alive - their houses still stand, they've rallied together as communities and its incredible to see. I understand how you must feel helping people with Rana.

How is the new Detective Agency going? I can only imagine how you and Rana are getting on each other's nerves, but I'm sure you're doing fantastic work.

There are only a few more villages assigned to us to clear out. Once they're done, Davrin and I are thinking about hanging up our swords. With the Taint removed from our blood after killing Elgar'nan, and with the Blight mostly dealt with, there's nothing left for us out here. Minrathous Murders and Monsters has a good chance of going ahead!

I never imagined my life as anything more than doing my duty as a Warden and eventually succumbing to the Blight, but I have a real chance at a life now. I'd love nothing more than to spend it at your side.

I love you, Neve Gallus.

Stay safe. If you can't stay safe, stay alive.

Always yours, Rook

28. Propaganda against Rook - by the First Warden

Warning!

A discredited Warden by the name 'Kyra Thorne' aka 'Rook' has been attempting to contact members of the order to join her cause against so-called 'gods'.

There is no evidence that any gods beyond the Maker exist and any attempt at stating otherwise will be seen as a slight against the Order. Furthermore, any attempt to contact 'Rook' will be met with exile.

The Blight has not changed.

In War, Victory. In Peace, Vigilence. In Death, Sacrifice.

[coraniaid]

A random ask if you're up for it: what's a terrible take about the Buffyverse you've seen on tumblr but have not yet publicly kvetched about?

I'll be honest: this question prompted a moment of minor panic on my part because my very first instinct was to say something like "hmm, no, I don't think I've ever seen a bad take about Buffy on here I've not immediately complained about". Which is an admission that, were it accurate, should probably prompt rather more introspection on my part than I'd enjoy.

Thinking about it though, I don't think that is really true. In fact, I probably don't say anything negative about most of the bad Buffy takes I see, either because they're not particularly widespread (I try not to publicly disagree with other people's headcanons or even argue against popular posts if it would be obvious who I was responding to) or because they're about characters who I just don't talk about on here at all (either because I don't find them interesting or because my understanding of them is so at odds with the wider fandom's we'd be talking at cross-purposes).

(Or, sometimes, I don't say anything negative because I'm too busy enthusiastically reblogging the post in question, if we're being brutally honest about what counts as a "bad take".)

One concrete example I don't think falls under those headings and which I don't remember complaining about before is the way people talk about Buffy's speech in Selfless. Now, I'll be honest: I don't really like Selfless that much. It's in the top half of Season 7 episodes for me, possibly even the top third, but that's a pretty low bar. But what I do like a lot are Buffy/Faith parallels, and this episode has a big one in Buffy's speech towards the end of the episode:

At some point someone has to draw the line and that is always going to be me. You get down at me for cutting myself off, but in the end the Slayer is always cut off. There's no mystical guidebook; no all-knowing council. Human rules don't apply. There's only me. I am the law.

Obviously this reminds the audience of Faith's similar speeches in Season 3's Consequences, when she tells Buffy that the two of them are "better" than ordinary humans and then later that "you know I'm right. You know in your gut we don't need the law. We are the law."

We obviously aren't meant to agree with Faith in Consequences. (The fact that she follows this speech up by almost immediately defecting to work for the Mayor, commiting at least one cold-blooded murder, having a sobbing emotional breakdown where she begs somebody to kill her and then turning herself in to be judged and punished by the very human laws she sneered at earlier is something of a clue.)

A lot of people point out the parallel but then try to explain that what Buffy is saying is actually substantially different from Faith, and that Buffy is right while Faith was wrong. in Myth, Metaphor and Morality Mark Field (who I don't think is actually on Tumblr, technically, but who I'm referencing to avoid talking directly about the many people on Tumblr who agree with him) ties this in to the wider themes of Season 7, and describes the difference between Buffy and Faith as being that Faith is trying to avoid responsibility (for accidentally killing Allan Finch) while Buffy is taking responsibility (for doing what has to be done and killing Anyanka).

And yes, Buffy is doing something different to Faith here. She is not trying to say that she doesn't have to be accountable. She is not making excuses for her own mistakes or bad behaviour. She is trying to do (what she perceives as being) the right thing.

But Buffy is wrong as well. She is proved wrong within this episode. She doesn't have to kill Anya: in fact, she fails to kill Anya (indeed, given what we see of vengeance demons in The WIsh and in Older and Far Away I don't believe Buffy could possibly have killed Anya, but I know that vengeance demon lore is even less rigorous than vampire soul lore). The problem of Anya being a vengeance demon is resolved, not by Buffy, but by the people she was giving her speech to. The people who she was arguing didn't have a say.

Buffy is wrong, too, within the show's established lore. There is a mystical guidebook (even if her Watcher didn't have her read it), and there is a Council (even if they're far from all-knowing, Buffy could have been making use of their resources ever since she asserted her importance to them in Checkpoint, but she chose not to do this). And Buffy isn't alone. (At least Faith got the number of Slayers right in her speech!)

And Buffy is also wrong in terms of the wider season arc. Season 7 is not about Buffy saving the day by heroically taking all the world's burdens on to herself and making all the decisions. Her attempts to beat the First this way end disastrously; cutting herself off from her friends and her family and the very the Potentials she's trying to protect.

(Yes, the climatic scene in Empty Places is poorly written, but the season does very deliberately have Buffy fail to establish any sort of rapport or connection with the Potentials and spend less and less time with her friends. Buffy isn't blameless for those relationships falling apart, even if having her friends and sister kick her out of her own house is absurd.)

Instead of being the lone voice of judgment, Buffy beats the First and saves the world by not isolating herself. By working with her friends; by realizing they can do things she can't; by sharing her power with the Potentials (because "my power should be our power"); by reconnecting with Faith; by accepting help from Angel and from Spike; and by realizing that the people who "made up the rules" for Slaying thousands of years ago made a mistake.

The whole point of Chosen is that it is a refutation of the vision of being a Slayer that Buffy outlines in this episode.

Quoting it uncritically as if it sums up who Buffy is as a person is like, well, using Andrew's speech about "the Dark Slayer" to describe Faith. (Which ... oh, yeah, people also do.)

[1moremilgram-enjoyer]

Kotoko's Clothes Throughout HARROW

CW Death and murder, vigilantism, online radicalization, mentions of kidnapping, Little Red Riding Hood (so a wolf eating someone and animal death)

In my Kotoko brainrot arc (aka working on a full HARROW analysis), and I think it's really interesting how much Kotoko's clothes seem to change throughout HARROW. Changing clothes in general usually represents character change, which certainly fits how much Kotoko's attitude towards everything seems to switch up as she becomes more and more radicalized (presumably by online discourse seeing some of the other stuff in the MV) and violent. Not to mention the whole Red Riding Hood thing. Let's take a look!

(Btw, I'm not going to talk about the weird changing clothes at the end of the MV, where her clothes are completely different when she sees the kidnapping than when she actually kills the serial killer. It's too much of a mess for this post, so I'll leave it for the full analysis)

(This has probably been done before but you can't stop me from posting >:D)

So, there's four distinct fits Kotoko wears in HARROW, which I'll call White Jacket, Blue and Yellow Jacket, Foggy Forest Fit, Murder Fit. (Clarification: I don't think she actually killed the alley dude, I'm calling it that exclusively for the final murder)

Let's go one by one, in order of appearance. White Jacket shows up first. It's made up of, as you can imagine, a white jacket with red streaks, shorts of the same color, a black tank top, and white shoes.

The interesting thing about this outfit is that it shows up first, then completely disappears after Kotoko attacks the man in the alley. Even when we later see her back in the studio, by that point she's already wearing her red hoodie. This makes sense, as the primary color used here is white. In this MV, I believe white is being used to represent purity of some kind, while red represents danger and aggression. So in this outfit, we see a Kotoko yet untainted by violence (white), but who already has that latent danger lurking underneath (red streaks). Hell, for all we know, she hasn't even dropped out of the faculty of law at this point.

(T1) Q7: What did you study at university?

KY: For a while, I studied at the faculty of law. There's something I want to do, so I'm currently taking a break from studies, though.

But also worth noting, in that first shot, the red hoodie she uses to murder is already behind her. Again, latent danger.

Her shoes are also important, because for Kotoko, shoes are her murder weapon. But not these shoes. The white, pure shoes are those of an innocent individual. In this case, it's because she literally hasn't done anything with them yet.

Finally, the black tank top, which she shares with her "murder" outfit. Allowing myself to go a bit insane, this is the piece of clothing literally closest to her heart. The black doesn't represent evil, but rather grief and pain, I believe.

Becoming light-headed again, it all becomes crazy, the normalcy sought for, fading away, everytime death comes. The soul moves forward - I hate all the evils in this world, I feel like I’m about to break The surrounding net covered with poison

Want to find “HARROW” “HARROW” I feel like I’m going crazy after straining my nerves The person that can’t be saved, is now understanding the abnormality

(Note: I personally think the person being distressed (harrow-ed) is Kotoko herself, becoming distressed at the world's evils. I also happen to think she considers herself "the person that can't be saved" but that's for another time)

So yeah, Kotoko's suffering a lot. We been knew.

Next up we have the "field investigation" fit, the one with the blue and yellow jacket.

Apart from the jacket, she wears a cap of the same brand, Jacques Roulet (I talked about that in this post), and some shorts. As you can see, her shoes are generally hidden, but I think they're the white ones? Either pair would make some sense, but the white ones fit better since Kotoko never performs any violent actions in this outfit.

As stated, this is the outfit Kotoko uses to investigate outside. Going in person to check out crime scenes, talking to the one guy... Thus, the blue of her jacket likely refers to wisdom, patience, intelligence, that kind of thing. It's "calmer" than the colors of the other outfits, because Kotoko is not showing her more dangerous parts (red).

See, the main thing about this design is that Kotoko is being guarded when she wears it. Note that this is the only one where she doesn't show her undershirt, which before I related to her feelings. The cap serves to further imply that, she's keeping herself vaguely hidden. Basically, in this fit, Kotoko is both hiding her feelings and vulnerabilities, as well as "hiding her fangs", if that makes sense. Presenting herself as calmer, more put together, and more rational than she actually is.

However, there's still the yellow. I think that one's meant to represent fun; Kotoko still enjoys what she's doing here. It may even be somewhat stylized as a thunderbolt, because electricity is usually related to excitement. As shown in her T1 Voice Reveal distorted line:

...Fufu... This feels so good.

(I would like to say that she obviously doesn't do vigilantism just for fun, because that's a weird take I've seen mentioned. She has other reasons, she just happens to enjoy it a bit)

The point is that this "fun" is still muted in comparison to the blue of the jacket, because it's essentially in the background. Kotoko's analysis and investigations are the most important parts of these scenes, the fact she happens to enjoy vigilantism is sort of incidental.

Last note for this one, having a "yellow streak" means being cowardly, but that doesn't really apply to Kotoko so we ignore it.

Then we have the outfit seen in the forest scenes. Red hoodie, white tank top, white shoes, black shorts. This one remains the same in all of these scenes.

The important thing to note here is that, because this is the one outfit we see exist inside her mind, this is how Kotoko sees herself, or more likely, how she would like to see herself. Note the black tanktop of despair (Milgram makes you say some ridiculouos shit huh) has been replaced with a pure white tanktop, because Kotoko doesn't want to be sad and hurt. Obviously. Similarly, her shoes remain white even after she attacks Oshii, because she still considers herself "innocent" in the sense of "justified."

Still, though, her hoodie is the red one she wears while murdering. Because she considers herself dangerous and powerful. And she is, girlboss stay winning (preferably away from the other prisoners though).

One important thing which many have pointed out before me is that, by virtue of wearing this red hoodie and being in a forest with wolves, this outfit seems connected to the story of Red Riding Hood. How exactly is a fun question, especially since Red Riding Hood is a fairy tale and thus doesn't have an official version, but let's see.

I imagine you know the gist of the story. Red Riding Hood (RRH) is a girl tasked with delivering food to her grandma, who is sickly and thus weak, but along the trail finds a wolf who asks her where she's going. The wolf then goes ahead as RRH gets distracted, and the wolf ends up eating the grandma and disguising as her. When RRH arrives at the house, she notices the grandma looks slightly different, before she gets eaten too. In later tellings a huntsman comes in and cuts the wolf's stomach open, allowing the grandma and RRH to escape unharmed, somehow. The wolf is also insanely resilient evidently, as it's still alive at this point, but the humans fill its stomach with rocks and then it dies.

... This story is a lot darker than I remembered.

We already have a few superficially shared themes with Kotoko. Protecting the weak, calling out deception... wolves-

In particular, being devoured by the wolf could be seen as Kotoko being consumed by the radicalization which led her to murder. This is especially notable because of the actual underlying themes of Red Riding Hood. See, the story is generally interpreted to be about "rites of passage" and rebirth, where RRH exiting the wolf's stomach is the rebirth. Generally it's connected more to children growing up and going through puberty, but for Kotoko we need a more general reading. As I said before, changing clothes is sometimes considered a symbol of change of character, and Kotoko certainly changes a bit throughout HARROW. For example, by forming an idea of what a "win" entails in the context of her vigilantism.

Stained emotions, what is winning or losing?

“I didn’t mean to offend”, “I won’t do it again” How many wins in a row?

Hell, one of the last lyrics in the song, which plays over a scene of the foggy forest, explicitly says it.

Newly born “HARROW” “HARROW”

And if you need any more symbolism, Red Riding Hood is also sometimes interpreted as representing natural cycles, with the girl being the sun (that's why her cloak is red) and the wolf being the night "eating" her, before dawn (when the girl gets out of the stomach). A completion of one of these cycles is also a symbol of change and rebirth;

Goodnight “HARROW” “HARROW” Laugh and I can get to like myself

so when Kotoko says "goodnight" to herself, she's making an oath to change, say goodbye to the old her and greet dawn with a new version of herself, one which she actually likes ("laugh and I can get to like myself").

And there is an actual cycle referenced in the video. The moon in the forest scenes is always a waning moon, except at the end, where it's a full moon, which is not just connected to werewolves and thus indicates Kotoko "completing her transformation and getting her fangs", but it also represents the end of the lunar cycle. Again, rebirth.

Not to mention the fact dawn breaks in the last scene.

You get it? Natural cycles being completed, being reborn, etc. Kotoko transforms herself significantly as she kills the "wolf", probably the serial killer dude.

And yet, her clothes in these forest sections never changes. To me, this shows a disconnect between how Kotoko sees herself and the way she actually is.

Timelines - 20/6/18 Kotoko: Treat you [Amane] like a child? Hah, you’ve got to be kidding. Back when I was your age, I was already the person I am today. 

This is demonstrably false. I just spent several paragraphs talking about how much Kotoko changes throughout HARROW, let alone during the last 8 years of her life. The point is that Kotoko doesn't realize how radicalized she's becoming while browsing all the websites we see her going on during the video. And you know, there's probably some interesting social commentary and character complexity to talk about there, but if I get too much into it I will be here forever, so I'll leave that as food for thought.

Anyways, you may have noticed I'm not really talking about the pants. You're right! Moving on.

Finally, her murder fit. Same red hoodie as last one, but with a black tanktop and black leggings.

Her shoes are also different, a pair of men's shoes which are also her murder weapon. You see how they're (primarily) grey instead of white? Get it? Because she sees herself as only good and morally right, but she's (say it with me everyone) morally gray.

(Using both spellings to bother everyone)

I've already talked about how her red hoodie represents her violence and danger, literally covering up her black tank top of despair (might as well just run with the term).

Finally, I know I haven't been talking about the pants since I didn't see anything too interesting, but the change from shorts to leggings did catch my eye. However, I think that may just be a more 'practical' change as opposed to a 'symbolism' change. I imagine that if you're doing something illegal like beating up some dude in an alley, you'd feel more comfortable the less skin you showed, even if rationally there shouldn't be any way to identify Kotoko just by her legs.

I know I wouldn't kill with shorts and a t-shirt, but give me some leggings though, and I'm already looking at Amane's mother like she isn't dead enough yet-

Ehem. Disregard that last point.

Well, that's the end! As I said, I'm not gonna deal with the change of clothing at the end of the video, because to explain that I would have to explain an entire murder theory and talk about how I don't actually think Kotoko ever saw the exact scenes we see in the small room with the wooden floor, etc, which is all just too complicated for what's supposed to be a relatively short post. I'll address it in my full analysis, but there's too much going on for me to explain it here. With that said, I hope you enjoyed reading! Take care!

[melodich4n]

When It comes to me as a human I really am a weird case. My humor or my personality overall is as literal as you see here online for my everyday life. There's nothing for me to hide about who or how I express myself but when it comes to interests. By that means.

I'm on the spectrum. I have ADHD and ODD too.

I don't often click with characters. For those I do, I LOVE them. Be it I haven't posted them here out of preference I just really like to stick with One Piece for content making or original characters (can change). Yet when it comes to me being obsessed or clicking with a series. Especially with a character that becomes either a comfort or a special interest of mine. It happened to be Caesar Clown.

In my entire life from all things possible for me to enjoy. Caesar makes me most interested. Be it, I find myself already into topics such as science or medical care that cause me to naturally enjoy a character like Caesar for his role he has as a scientist. Being I can remember the time as young as 8 I wanted to be a virologist and help work in a lab on viruses. I even tried considering to research a cure for cancer. Be it since then the career changed on wanting to be in something art related as I ALWAYS loved art too. My second option and third was to take the job as a therapist or surgeon. Even a mortician as an option as death or the human body is something I've come to find fascinating and I'm not saying this to be a shock content person. I just really am intrigued by concepts like mortality/birth/death. Anything within those segments I'm a huge fan of. Remember being fascinated and still am a fan of COD zombies. The only thing that stopped me considering the medical field in any way was because I didn't want to spend that much money and time to get a job I might end up realizing I just enjoyed it as a hobby to research instead.

Yet the topic of anything relating to science and medical stuff makes me adore characters like Caesar anytime. Yet what specifically lured me more for him than other doctor or scientist characters was his sadistic nature and his *personality* in extension within Punk Hazard and even in WCI. I'm a fan of the topic of sadism, I'm not sadistic myself. I enjoy the fictitious aspect of how far you can push violence though. In themes or just because. As I was for some reason the kind of kid who watched 5+ hours of Happy tree friends and Fluffy pony content or make my 1037727 read of Johnny the Homicidal Maniac after I got home from a math test that pissed me off half crying still and then laughing about it because fictional violence is and will always still be funny to me.

I see fiction as fiction and a way to study things from a view of my own as someone with autism to pick apart on. I don't know why but the fact I just enjoy picking apart characters and themes, stories. Even music. I found myself adore him.

Caesar Clown though, I can see why others don't like him as much. There are many reasons why I can understand. Though for those that dislike him and choose to dislike me also from that, I don't care about those people.

Caesar's genuine intelligence is also something I enjoy looking at. Vegapunk is of course gonna always be smarter and more successful but Caesar has genuine feats of his own. He just goes into a clear route of selfishness that involves a lot of violence and he's not normal in the head. Far from it. Either because he grew into it or was born like it.

Which I enjoy the fan ideas people bring for him. I like people's own ways to take his character for their enjoyment.

I like taking him and either putting him into work that lets me express my mind and ideas for him. Or to put him through pain or anguish that always intrigued me again in the fictional lens.

My love for him likely comes from a sense of self relatability in his vindictiveness and behavior I used to have when younger myself (be it I'm far from it now and did not kill people just can grasp that sense of anger he has) that I also have respect also for his work. I want to see him do his experiments and partaken as a viewer of his work.

Also his own song, his theme? It makes me think of Earthbound and Earthbound is a massive comfort game for me. Specifically the Belch Factory for Caesar with the Belch's theme to his in the 2nd to 3rd stage of his theme. So that's just another random thing to throw. It's out of Character from the music of OP.

His design also feels like something I'd have made when I was younger, and when I feel or connect with a design I will cling and draw them pretty much anytime I think of them.

I think there are so many opportunities with a character like Caesar .

He has also broken Devil Fruit Abilities. I tried genuinely hard to see what his Gas Gas fruit was in terms of Elements on the periodic table. There was no direct one I could match with. I tried. Genuinely. I'm no chemistry nerd but my understanding of how certain elements have ways they react to exposed climates and other elements is what I researched into.

Also the fact he used himself to make experiments. It's fucking metal. Sick shit. I've written that into my own works myself before I got into One Piece as someone who wrote religious sci-fi horror. Where you use your flesh, or your body... Imagine being a part of your stuff? For your gain. To hurt others like some bad guy would do like Caesar.

To contort yourself easily...

It's very cool.

I think that's what I have my thoughts on so far I got for the man. I don't know what else to do or say. I'd love to converse with others here as long as it's civil and respectful about my thoughts or questions, and any form of discussion we can have. Though I do not support those who pick on others just because they "understand or don't understand" Caesar as well as others can or don't. He's fictional. Let's not be crazy.

That is all for me.

- Sally/Melodi

[miss0atae]

Random thoughts about We Are episode 3:

If someone had told me I would like this series, I wouldn't have believe them. I'm surprised by myself, because I'm enjoying it way more than I thought I would. It seems like I'm still into "slice-of-life/uni" series.

▪️ Phum still enjoyed "torturing" Pheem by making him carry his shopping bags, washing his clothes or cooking for him. Pheem despite being reluctant always did all these tasks, but the childish prank Phum pulled on him was too much for him. Phum made him wait for him and Pheem did wait until the mall closed and was even worried about him. I guess Pheem is the type of person who care about everyone and even if he knew Phum likes to tease him, he never thought the prank could go this far. He is annoyed and very angry at him, but the power of a proper apology may work well on him. Indeed, Phum listen to his friends' advice and apologized. He was brooding a lot over the incident.

I believe he has so much more fun around Pheem that he thought he would. Now I'm wondering, did he fall for him before and used the "kick incident" to get closer to Pheem or is he enjoying so much the time he is spending with him that he will fall for him?

▪️ Q and Toey were very cute in this episode. We got more information about how Toey decided to join the Art field thanks to his crush to Q. I really liked the conversation he had with the owner of the cafe. Here and there, the series is giving some life advice and I really like when they are doing this. It's not groundbreaking advices, but I always feel better when seeing it and I believe they may have a good impact on other people who also watch it.

Q and Toey had a funny clay fight and I believe that's the moment Q started to feel something more.

He was very protective to Toey when a senior was flirting with him. Q is also willing to do anything Toey may ask even if he is reluctant at first: singing for him, sharping his pencils or giving him a snack.

We know Toey is already smitten but the slow burn Q is feeling is so nice to watch. I admit I liked the little "jealousy" part of the series. Funny how I hate people who jealous in real life, but I don't mind watching it in series.

▪️ Tan and Fang didn't get a lot of screentime in this episode. Tan bought a cake for Fang, but he didn't want to give it to him so he used Phum as a proxy. I don't think Fang is fooled by Tan's terrible skills at flirting. He knows! He must know! I want to see how he will react, now.

▪️ Pun and Chain had a longer appearance in this episode. They may not be in love (yet) but Chain is taking so much care to Pun. He is doing a lot for him and everyone can see it. They were invited by Tan to enjoy a meal outside and even Tan felt he was third wheeling. Poor Tan. I felt bad for him. Next episode should bring more for the two of them and I can't wait to see Pun and Chain's romance blooming. Pun is clearly my favorite. His little puppy look are just so cute.

▪️ I also want to say that I appreciate how friendships is also shown in the series. We saw how Phum asked for help from his friends, but also how Q care for Pheem even if he hides it under some pretense. Friendship is just another way to love someone. It may not be romantic, but it is a very strong link too.

I'm slowly falling for We Are the series. I hope I will stay interested until the end of the 16th episode!

[liketolaugh-writes]

I know I've talked about this before, but God, I'm never going to stop resenting the hold that Harry Potter has on me.

As an autistic person, special interests never really leave you, and that's more true for longer-standing ones. I really can't explain how all-consuming they are, how much time and energy and love you pour into them, how much joy and comfort you get from them. I'm kind of between special interests right now, after finishing both Constellations and Blue Food Project, and it's unsettling. Makes me restless, leaves a lot of time in my day. (Time I can use to look for jobs! Positives.)

Anyway. Harry Potter was definitely my longest-standing special interest to date. It was my SI through most of elementary school, and given the choice, I would do nothing except reread them, over and over and over and over again. My parents had to institute a rule where every time I finished the series, I had to wait a certain amount of time before I read it again, and I always did as soon as the time was up. There are parts of it, useless stupid lines, that I can still recite from memory. ("And he was even brave enough to nibble the end off a funny gray one that turned out to be pepper" has always been my favorite example.) I don't engage much with the Harry Potter fandom, because it's a mutant factioned thing that kind of scares me, but the story stays with me nonetheless.

Like many other fans, this letter broke my heart; I'm sure you know the one even without clicking the link. She's only gotten worse since then (every so often I still look at her Twitter account and mourn) but this was the beginning of the end. Most authors, I can forgive their transgressions; I can trust that they've grown, I can accept that their work is flawed, and I can enjoy what I read despite that.

Every since that letter, and plenty of the subsequent scandals besides, I've been unable to do that. I read any part of Harry Potter and I can see nothing but flaws. I see sexism, and ableism, and cultural appropriation and colonialism and hypocrisy. I think, why are there so many crowds of tittering girls? and why does everyone hate Fleur seemingly just for being French and pretty? and why did she design the Slug Club without any acknowledgement of 'this is literally how to break into a career field?' There is nothing there for me but frustration and hurt.

I've seen people in the trans community complain about cis folk asking if they can 'still enjoy' Harry Potter, which I understand. (I consider myself nonbinary, but my gender identity is so unimportant to me that I still consider my place in that community tenuous.) But this isn't that. This is frustration. Harry Potter was carved into me years ago, and I can't seem to dig it out, and I have yet to decide what to do with that.

But the story stays with me. The memory of it is inescapable. I don't even really need to reread the books to write fanfics, most of the time; I know every plot point by heart. How could I not? And every unanswered question, every point of shoddy worldbuilding that drives me nuts about that world - I can fix those. I do it all the time in other fandoms. It's really not that hard to create the answers to the plot holes that bother you.

Most of the Harry Potter fics I write are crossovers - Harry Potter goes well with just about any world, kind of like Avengers does. But there's one I've been playing with that bugs me in a special way.

I mentioned finishing 'Constellations,' my two part series where Percy Jackson goes to therapy for everything he goes through in the PJO and HoO books. That was a love letter to Percy Jackson, to Rick Riordan's writing. Like any writer, he has his flaws and weak points, but I love it nonetheless, every part of it. I wrote it with the intent to supplement and highlight canon for everything I love about it.

Now, I find myself writing a similar fic for Harry Potter, with Harry Potter going through therapy. It's in the beginning stages yet (such stories are obviously difficult) but it's such a fascinating topic that I can't shake it. What happens when a survivor of such vicious neglect suddenly is accused of seeking attention at every turn? How can someone so victimized by the Ministry come to trust them enough to work as an Auror? Did Dumbledore truly understand what he subjected Harry to with the Dursleys?

But with Constellations, I had respect for Riordan's writing that I don't have for Rowling's. Such a story would come from a completely different place. And that's fascinating, too. It's just complicated.

I'm not going anywhere with this, I guess. It's just- frustrating, to so thoroughly resent a story and a cast that I also love so much.

[the-words-we-sung]

The songs of Young Royals - S1E4

Here we go again ♪ Episode 4 my beloved, it is your turn!! Part one and two of this little project can be found here and there ♥

Holes, Zhala and Deep Throat Choir

I free my eyes at the start of time Maybe this is an obsession of a witchy kind And I lose myself inside Erik died, Wilhelm lost the only person he was truly close to, the only person who was there for him. He is losing himself: what do you do when you lose the person that matters the most to you? It's when you realize how incredibly lucky it was that he started at Hillerska when he did, so he could meet Simon. Because otherwise, what would have happened to him? Would he have lost himself forever? It's interesting that the "maybe this is an obsession" lyrics happens at the exact moment when we see Simon sending messages to Wilhelm while he watches the funeral on TV. "obsession" is a strong word but he is already very smitten and sending many messages to Wilhelm to check on him, to tell him he's there. Wilhelm does not answer though, because he is losing himself...

Remember

So you say, all you wanna be is remembered Let me make you go down in history, baby Let me write you into history, darling Let me sing you into eternity This song is beautiful. Indeed it's a good choice of song to commemorate Erik, Simon sounds great and the lyrics work very well in this context.

But there's a double meaning here: yes it is meant as a commemoration of Erik, saying he will not be forgotten, but it's also a message from Simon to Wilhelm. He is the Crown Prince now, and he is in love with another boy: it will make him go down in history. As Kristina said, he's the first one in the history of the royal family to not be straight (or at least the first one being opened about it), which will be a huge thing and an event that is gonna shake the country. But I can't help feeling moved by this song, by the image that Simon will be there with Wilhelm, next to him to endure it all. And let's not forget that Simon is gonna write a song about him during season 2, a song that he wants to sing in front of the entire world. So yeah, "let me sing you into eternity", Simon, you smitten boy...

Revolution, Elias

Let's start a revolution How beautiful it is Running with a crown on your head A resolution written on your hands And the lies they will hurt you No more This song... Do I even need to talk about it? Probably the best song they could choose for this show!! And I'm sure everything has been said about it already but let's give it a go anyway ^^ The whole scene is kinda perfect: the choice of song, the cinematography, what Wilhelm says... And yeah, it's Wilhelm grieving, and realizing that a lot of people around him are not "real", not his friends, not really there for him, for the true Wilhelm and not just the Prince. They don't know him. I think he probably doesn't know himself very well yet either. But it also makes him realize that he does like Simon. That's the only true thing, the only real thing he has left now that Erik is dead. And it's a revolution. Because he finally lets his guard down (granted he's drunk and high, but still!) and admits his feelings out loud, something he hasn't really be able to do 'til now. And he's going against everything he was taught, everything he believed. And that's a revolution. I don't know if he's "running" with the crown on his head, but he's certainly walking and stumbling onto that football field. And I'm not sure the resolution to declare his love to Simon was there already, but he still chose this place, where they had their first "date" to come to. So I do think that, even subconsciously , he was choosing Simon, choosing to come to him. And gosh, i don't know what awaits us in season 3 but yeah, in one way or another, Wilhelm and Simon together are a revolution.

Live and die, Gina Dirawi

Leave my body in a mess All my seeds are ruined This is my homage Back to God Thought if we Were free For a night We'd make it right But they're not free, not even for a night. They should have been. This night should have been theirs, and only theirs. It was their first night together, it was private and beautiful. It was love and lust after so much longing. And they don't know yet, how August is betraying them, betraying this moment. They are not doing anything wrong. They're actually "making it right" because they're finally acknowledging their mutual feelings, being true to each other. It's not in the scene but later on in the song there are the lyrics "life in peace, no need for the lies" and it just works so well for them. Because they might have been honest about their feelings in this scene, but they are still in the midst of so many lies. And it's gonna take so much time for them to finally free themselves from this spiderweb of lies and complications. This scene makes me so happy and so sad at the same time. It should have been just happiness, and love. It should have been freedom...

The songs of Young Royals - part 1 The songs of Young Royals - part 2