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honeycreammilkshake · 2 months ago

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as both a sukuita and sukuna fan, chapter 268 killed me. at first i thought it was because we finally got another really intimate and highly emotional scene between sukuna and yuuji, and that sukuna chose to die over accepting yuuji's kindness, but now i can't stop thinking about how this entire chapter was such a good character study and a metaphor for one of the most important themes in the story.

in chapter 21, there's a really interesting conversation between junpei and mahito, where junpei disagrees with the quote "the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference." he knows how evil people can be so he chooses to feel indifferent about human suffering instead. mahito's view on this is also really intriguing, especially considering how he is a curse born from the hate people share for each other.

i could be wrong but it sounds like the basic message here is that deadening yourself to such intense feelings — love or hate — is a type of retaliation for being hurt or consumed by them. which makes me wonder if sukuna had a similar story to junpei, and if that explains how he became what he is.

we know that sukuna wasn't wanted as a child. he was more than likely rejected by both normal society and the jujutsu world. like junpei he was probably treated cruelly or strongly made aware of the many people who hated him. sukuna claimed to know what love is, but i think what he actually understood was the absence of love. he understood maybe what it means to others, but he had never felt or experienced it himself.

which brings me back to junpei's idea that indifference should be the solution. this is kind of the same philosophy sukuna has: he believes in this unshakable hierarchy of strength where the weak should have no right to lament their suffering. his idea was that the strongest were indifferent to suffering, that it's greedy to be lonely because of this. he calls it his "nature" to live in this self-indulgent way that is completely uncaring and selfish.

but then there's yuuji.

yuuji has been alone for a lot of his life. at the beginning, he doesn't have any really close friends, since even the other occult club members don't know him all that well. his only family was wasuke, who was difficult and pushed people away, including yuuji.

after his grandfather's death, he wanted to do right and fulfill wasuke's request of helping people, to be able to die surrounded by those he cares about. he pretty much gave his life to help other people by accepting responsibility as sukuna's vessel, and shows concern and kindness even to strangers.

he seems the exact opposite of sukuna and he stands for all the things that the king of curses hates... so why is it that someone sukuna considers so weak has so much power over him?

the only one who's really managed to make sukuna rethink his ideas of the world has been yuuji. even sukuna acknowledged that he was affected more by yuuji than anyone else.

to him, those who challenged him 1000 years ago were "other people." his relationship with yuuji was and always has been so special that even he admits it.

sukuna mostly strived for indifference his entire life. consuming so many humans was merely a way for him to pass the time until death, as he said, and those tastes were passing and unmemorable for the most part. everything was so unfeeling about the way he made his philosophy sound during his conversation with kashimo, and he couldn't answer as to why he would decide to cross the ages into modern life if his life before had been truly satisfactory. it's like he wasn't even moved to support his own ideals.

but here yuuji is... an annoying brat he called weak and boring, yet every time they fought sukuna looked thrilled and even impressed, though he resented it. and every time yuuji challenged him, sukuna was bothered enough to challenge him right back.

"the opposite of love is indifference." if this is true, sukuna was most likely forced into his indifference due to the fact he was never wanted or loved. but yuuji awakened so many feelings inside of him, too many. living as sukuna's vessel, they shared such a close connection while still opposing each other in every single way. yuuji represented the intense feelings of both love and hate in the way he fought so hard for others while sukuna's own indifference started to break the longer he spent inside of yuuji. he was far more reactive to yuuji than with others, and had even given him special treatment. there were many times he could have killed yuuji or his friends, but he didn't.

yuuji has made it clear that he hates sukuna's indifference to the value of people's lives.

sukuna's indifference towards life is against everything yuuji believes in but strangely enough, yuuji was still willing to accept sukuna. to not only pity him, but to have genuine empathy and compassion for such a monster as well.

he even says to sukuna that they are the same, despite seeming to be complete opposites of each other.

to me, yuuji saying that the monster sukuna became was a matter of chance, shows that he understands how indifference cut sukuna off from having a different fate.

there is a vast area of shades between love and hate, unlike the overwhelmingly static state of indifference. yuuji was showing those shades of love and hate to sukuna, telling him that they could live in the mixed shades of both.

and i really wished sukuna chose to coexist with both that love and hate and remain with yuuji. but he was too used to being indifferent and rejected that offer.

i'm really hoping we get to see yuuji's thoughts on this in the next few chapters, because he looked truly disappointed by sukuna's rejection.

#im still so mad about what happened to junpei ;-;#this is really incoherent and has many errors probably #but i wanted to get my basic thoughts across #honey posts #sukuita #sukuna ryomen #itadori yuuji #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #meta

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brittscafe · 1 year ago

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Hi! I hope you’re doing alright! :) I wanted to request the prompt, “Gentle wipe of your spilled tears after heavy arguments, a simple gesture that shows you how sorry they are for making you shed sad tears instead of happy ones.” with bleach men? Or something close to it! I really just want some heart breaking angst and a happy ending. Thank you in advance, I love your blog!!

ahhh yesss! I love this prompt! <3 <3 I can include the quinces and arrancars in my next post, if you would like!

Ichigo Kurosaki: You rush inside Ichigo's room and slam the door open. Ichigo turns around and you throw your arms around the man.

"What's wrong?" Ichigo asks, running his fingers through your hair as you squeeze him tightly.

"I thought you were hurt," you breath out, pulling away from his embrace. Ichigo's eyebrows furrows and he shakes his head.

"I can take care of myself, you know? I am a substitute soul reaper," Ichigo reassures you with a confident tone.

"I know," you chew on your quivering bottom lip. Your eyes rake over his bruised face, dry blood on his lips. His body shaking slightly and the pain written all over his face.

His breath shudders seeing the hot tears spill down your face. Ichigo stifles a tiny gasp and his heart breaks into a million pieces.

"Y/N," he calls out gently, taking a stride towards you and reaching out. His hand cups the back of your head and he lets out a heavy sigh.

Ichigo brushes his thumb over your face, picking up your tears.

"I just wish I was there to help you. Maybe you wouldn't have gotten hurt if I was there," you sob out, your chest crushing. Ichigo smiles warmly at you and his eyes soften.

"You were there," he speaks carefully, grabbing your hand and putting it on his chest. His heart thumps against your hand and you smile weakly.

Uryu Ishida: Your breath shudders as you walk up to Uryu, standing alone in the soul society, watching as the war between the soul reapers and quincies break out.

His white cape flows in the wind and you gulp.

"Uryu, what are you doing?" you call out, furrowing your eyebrows. When Ichigo had told you that your boyfriend was on the other side of the war, you couldn't believe it.

"What are you doing here?" Uryu asks, his eyes widening at the sight of you as he faces you.

"No, you don't get to question me, not right now! What the hell are you doing?" you raise your voice, speaking through gritted teeth.

Uryu stands there, staring at you in shock. He never expected you to come into the soul society or even find out about this.

"I'm a Quincy. This is my blood," Uryu replies dryly and you scoff quietly.

"You're betraying everyone you know! Are you sure this is the path you want to go down?" you ask, stepping forward.

Uryu reaches out with his hand and he touches your soft skin. His hand cups your cheek and tilts up your face, eyes meeting his.

"Hey..." Uryu calls out and you meet his eyes. The tears race down your face and a frown rests on your face.

"You're breaking my heart," you comment, your voice breaking. Uryu lowers his head with shame and lets out a heavy sigh.

"I know and I'm so sorry, y/n. You'll see why I chose this, soon. I promise, but you need to go back home," Uryu sighs out, wiping away your tears.

"Just...don't break your promise," you demand, stepping back from his embrace.

Renji Abarai: "What the hell was that?!" Renji's voice booms out as he marches over towards you. You wipe the sweat off your forehead and squeeze your sword in your hand.

"What? Me saving your ass?" you scoff quietly, glancing down at the dead hollow on the ground. Renji rolls his eyes with annoyance and scowls.

"I didn't need you to save me!" Renji raises his voice and your taken back by his tone. You take a step back and let out a tiny breath, pondering.

You didn't understand why Renji was being so cold and mean. You just wanted to help your significant other.

"I don't get it, Renji. I was just helping you," you shake your head in denial. Renji's eyes darken and he stomps over to you, towering over you.

"Yeah? Well, I don't need you.”

His words strike you like a knife to the heart and your eyes widen.

"I'm so confused. Don't you appreciate my help? I was just trying to help you!" you raise your voice, your mind rattled with pure confusion.

"You don't get it, y/n! I was trying to prove myself to Captain Kuchiki. I was sent on a mission and I wanted to prove myself. You ruin everything!" Renji shouts out with pure rage.

Your mouth gapes open and your body freezes with shock. You snap your jaw shut and nod your head, tears filling your eyes.

"Okay. I get it," you retort harshly, clenching your jaw.

You went home after that, spent a few hours crying in your shared bed. You were filled with rage, but mostly sadness. How could Renji say something like that?

Your eardrums fill with the sound of the front doors swinging open and your heart skips a beat. Renji's footsteps come closer and closer to your bedroom.

You don't even bother to lift up your head when he enters the room. Renji frowns widely at the sight of you and he lets out a heavy sigh.

He knows what he did was wrong, very wrong. Renji sinks down into the bed and places his hand over your back.

"Baby, I'm sorry," Renji coos out with a soft, comforting voice.

"No, you're not," your voice comes out as muffled.

"I am," he replies.

"I get it, Renji. I get that you were sent on a mission and you wanted to prove yourself to your captain. You didn't have to yell at me," you huff out, lifting up your head.

Renji's eyes widen at your swollen, red face. You glare at him and Renji frowns widely.

"I didn't mean to yell at you. I was mad and I took my anger out on you. I shouldn't have,"

"Yeah, you shouldn't have," you sniffle out and Renji cracks a grin.

"What? Why are you smiling?" you ask, chewing on your bottom lip. Renji places a hand on your jaw, thumb brushing over your cheek, wiping away a tear.

"I'm sorry, but you're so pretty," Renji beams and your eyes widen. You were certain you weren't pretty in this moment. Tears running down your swollen face.

"Whatever," you sigh out, pouting.

"I'm sorry, my pretty girl," Renji speaks softly and you roll your eyes, but you can't help, but crack a tiny smile.

Shinji Hirako: Heated arguments were you and Shinji's thing for sure, but this was too much.

You decided to hide yourself in the bathroom, which was probably not the best place to hide from your boyfriend.

"Y/N, let me in," Shinji sighs in defeat from the outside, leaning his head against the door. You're curled up into a ball, arms wrapped around your knees that are tucked into your chest.

"No," you state firmly, your quivering voice giving yourself away.

"Damn it. Let me in!" Shinji raises his voice, running his hands over his face in frustration.

"Why should I?" you ask, clenching your fists.

"Because...I hate that I hurt you. I hate that I'm stupid and decided to hurt the person that I love the most. I hate that you're in here all alone, crying and I can't comfort you. I know that I don't deserve to, but please, y/n, let me in," Shinji explains with a raspy voice.

His words send a chill down your spine and you gulp. You sit in silence for a moment, before deciding to stand up and unlock the door.

Shinji swings open the door and his heart stops beating for a moment. Your red puffy face along with your tear stained cheeks is enough for even Shinji's heart to break.

He throws his arms around you and holds you tightly.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he whispers repeatedly, peppering kisses all along your face.

It felt so good to be in his arms, in his comfort.

"Shinji, I know," you mumble out in his chest. Shinji's body fills with relief. You didn't need to forgive him, he just needed you to know how sorry he is.

Jushiro Ukitake: I find it very hard to believe that this man made you cry. Anyways...

Emotions were running high as you and Jushiro argued back and forth. Both of your roaring voices fill the room and you end up with tears streaming down your face.

Jushiro wastes no time in rushing up to you as he feels horrible for making you cry. You bite down on your quivering lip and Jushiro gingerly places his hand on your cheek.

"I'm sorry," you hiccup out between sobs and Jushiro's eyes widen.

"Why are you apologizing? It's not your fault," Jushiro furrows his eyebrows with confusion and you shake your head.

"But it is, I started the argument. Now, I'm the one crying just because of what you said," you stutter out, your body slightly trembling.

Jushiro shakes his head. He cam't believe what he's hearing right now.

"No, don't you dare be sorry. What I said was not okay and I'm sorry that I said that," Jushiro speaks gently and you sniffle, wiping your wet face.

"I feel like such a baby," you sigh out, lowering your head in defeat.

"I never want to make you cry, y/n. Please, forgive me, sweetheart," Jushiro begs you, tears in his eyes. He leans his head down and presses his warm lips to your forehead.

You clutch onto his forearms and relish in the moment.

"I will always forgive you, Jushiro," you whisper, smiling up at him.

Shunsui Kyoraku: Your body trembles as your sob tears through your body, unable to muffle your sounds of sadness. You clench your fists and Shunsui's stomach twists into uneasy knots at the sound of your crying.

He glances at you over his shoulder and his mouth gapes open. You glare at him with tears burning your eyes and he leaps towards you.

Shunsui grabs onto your shoulders and your body jolts.

"No. Get away from me," you demand, pressing your hands into his chest and shoving him back. Shunsui's eyes widen and he lowers his head with shame.

He had hurt you and he dreaded it.

You turn around, burying your face in the palm of your hands. Your face burns and Shunsui clears his throat, collecting himself and his emotions.

"Shunsui," you call out as he wraps his arms around your waist from behind.

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry," he whispers with a hoarse voice, dipping his head down into the curve of your neck.

"I'm sure you are," you retort harshly, feeling your walls start to break down. You lower your gaze to the ground and Shunsui lets out a heavy sigh.

"Y/N, let me comfort you. Let me take away the pain and hurt that I caused you. Please," Shunsui pleads with you in a ginger, soft voice.

You slowly turn around, facing him and you chew on your lip, pondering. You meet Shunsui's soft, loving gaze and you frown widely.

You step forward and throw your arms around his torso, burying yourself into his chest. Shunsui rests his chin on top of your head and grips you tightly.

Kenpachi Zaraki: You were silent. Deadly. Deadly silent. So, deadly silent as a tear runs down your cheek.

He easily catches your wrist and pulls you closer to him. Kenpachi towers over you and you gulp. Kenny wears a blank expression on his face, but his eyes are soften, so is his touch.

"Were my words too harsh, y/n?" Kenpachi asks with a deep, rough voice. Your lips tremble as you slowly glance up at him, trying to hold yourself together.

"Um, I guess. I don't like when we yell at each other like that, especially when we we're arguing over something so...so stupid," you explain yourself, your voice trembling.

Kenpachi steps closer to you as the tears stream down your cheeks. He leans down towards you and slowly raises his hand. You close your eyes at his soft touch, wiping away your tears.

"I am sorry for raising my voice," Kenpachi speaks truthfully and you nod your head.

"I'm also sorry, Kenny," you sigh out with shame, grabbing onto his large hand and squeezing it. You both share a kind smile, knowing that you will always forgive each other.

Byakuya Kuchiki: Although, he hides his emotions well, he could not help the frown tugging on his face. A single tear drags down your face and drips off of your chin onto the ground.

Byakuya's eyes watch as the tear falls onto the ground and his eyes widen. His heart pulse beats in his ears, blocking out all other sound.

His words were too harsh, cruel, and unruly for him.

Byakuya's muscles tense, but he dare not make a move towards you.

"I take it back. I take all this words that I said back," he speaks up and you slowly lift up your head, meeting his steady, unwavering gaze.

"You can't take them, Byakuya. That's not how this works," you mumble out and his mouth slightly gapes open. His mouth runs dry and he nods his head.

"I know. If I could, I would turn those words into blossom for you, my love. I don't know what I would do without you. My words were hurtful, even I, myself, was taken aback by them. I cannot express how sorry I am," Byakuya speaks gingerly, crouching down onto his knees.

You furrow your eyebrows as Byakuya tenderly grabs onto your hands, pressing them against his forehead. Your stomach twists into uneasy knots as you realize what he's doing.

Byakuya has never really bowed down to anyone in his life, but here he is. Right in front of you, on his knees for you.

"Please, forgive me," he begs you, a trembling voice. His thumbs brush over your hands and you let out a deep sigh. You bring yourself down to your knees and Byakuya slowly lifts his head up.

"You need not bow down to me, Byakuya. We are on the same level as equals, right? That's what you said to me when we first met," you explain, cupping his cheek.

"Yes, I remember," he bobs his head.

"Good. Then, I forgive you as long as can forgive me," you speak gingerly and his eyes widen.

"Of course," he speaks eagerly as you pull his face closer to yours. You smile warmly and press a soft kiss to his lips.

Mayuri Kurotsuchi: The shower starts running in your bedroom and you furrow your eyebrows. You leap up from your bed and rush into the bathroom.

The steam fills the room and you lean against the wall. You grab the shower curtain and slowly peel it back. Mayuri stands in the hot water, letting it drip down his body and soak his hair.

"I didn't know you were home," you comment, a slight smile on your face.

"I'm tired," Mayuri shrugs his shoulders, running his fingers through his electric blue hair.

"I'm tired of the nights when you aren't beside in bed. I miss you," you sigh out, a frown tugging on his face.

"You know how it is. The experiments take a very long time and it has to be precise," he rambles on and you nod your head.

"Yes, I'm aware," you reply dryly.

"I can't spend every waking moment with you! You can't be attached to my hip," Mayuri raises his voice and your jaw drops open.

"I get it," you sigh out.

"Do you really? Because it seems like you don't. You're my girlfriend, not my goddamn dog!" Mayuri shouts out and your lips tremble.

"I feel like an object to you, Mayuri. Like one of your experiments," you sigh out and Mayuri rips open the shower curtain. He glares at you with anger and his fingers wrap around your jaw, tightly.

The tears escape from your eyes and Mayuri shakes his head, inhaling sharply with anger.

"You're wrong. My experiments are nothing like you. They are not fragile, delicate, and full of love. I do not love my experiments the way I love you, y/n. Do you understand me?" he speaks harshly and you nod your head.

"Y-yeah," your voice stutters our, your expression dropping. Mayuri's eyes soften and he pulls you closer.

"Hey, come here," Mayuri beckons with a soft, raspy voice. He wraps his arms around you and your head rests on his shoulder.

"I've missed you, too. More than you know," Mayuri comforts you, rubbing circles on your back.

Tōshirō Hitsugaya: "What?" you mumble out, furrowing your eyebrows at your boyfriend.

"You heard me," Toshiro snaps at you and your breath shudders. Your stomach twists into uneasy knots as Toshiro starts to turn his back on you.

"You cannot be serious. You can't actually agree with that," you shake your head in disbelief.

"I do!" he turns back, facing you. His nostrils flare with anger and smoke practically hisses out his ears.

"This is someone's life we are talking about. It's a serious matter," you speak harshly, clenching your fists.

"I know that and I stand by my decision," Toshiro scoffs out, shaking his head. You chew on your bottom lip, tears welling up in your eyes.

"God, you are ice cold!" you raise your voice, echoing in the room. He scoffs quietly and rolls his eyes with annoyance.

"Whatever," he replies dryly. You clench your fists, your bottom lip start to bleed from how hard you're biting it. The hot tears sting your cheeks and Toshiro's gasps quietly.

"Stop. Stop it right now," Toshiro demands, marching up to you and grabbing onto your face.

"Stop, Toshiro!" you cry out, pressing your hands to his chest and pushing him away. He stumbles back slightly and he inhales sharply.

"I can't handle it when you cry, y/n. So, please, stop," he begs you with despair straining his voice. You glance over at him through your eyelashes and sniffle, wiping away at your wet face.

He steps forward and grabs onto your hand, interlacing your fingers. He pulls you closer to him and his free hand cups your jaw, thumb brushing over it.

"I'm so sorry," he mumbles out, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

Kensei Muguruma: "So, you think I'm weak?" you scoff out, shaking your head with disbelief. Kensei glares over at you from his stance a few feet away from the bed that you're sitting on.

"I just can't believe that you got put away with such a move from your opponent. You weren't strong enough, y/n," Kensei comments with a careless tone.

"Are you serious? Is that actually how you feel about me?" you ask, your mouth gaping open.

You couldn't believe the words that were coming out of your boyfriend's mouth. They were hurtful and harsh.

"You know exactly how I feel," he retorts harshly and you chew on your bottom lip.

"You're right, I do now," you gulp, standing up from the bed. You rush over to the door and grab onto the handle.

"Where are you going?" Kensei sighs out, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I don't know, just away from you. You obviously don't want to associate yourself with your weak girlfriend, right?" your voice wobbles as you glance over your shoulder at him, tears filled up to the brim of your eyes.

Kensei's expression slightly softens and he clears his throat. "That's not what I meant," he speaks with a careful tone and you roll your eyes with annoyance.

"No, it is and that's fine. I want you to be honest with me and you were. I'm not good enough for you, Kensei. You've made that clear," you demand and Kensei's eyes soften.

"What?" he scoffs out, shifting his weight. You blink and the tears start to roll down your cheeks. You sniffle and quickly wipe them away, but the tears keep coming.

Kensei rushes up to your side and grabs onto your shoulders, steadying you in front of him.

"No, y/n, that's not what I meant. I'm scared. I'm scared of losing you. I don't think you're weak, y/n. I think you are a very strong soul reaper, but I cannot lose you," Kensei explains with a soft voice and your eyes widen.

"Why didn't you just say that?" you sniffle out, your body rattling.

"You know me. I'm not good with expressing my feelings and emotions. I don't like to be vulnerable, but I try to be because of you."

You step forward and cup Kensei's cheeks. The hues of cheeks turn a bright pink and he gulps.

"I understand it now, Kensei. All you had to do was explain," you comment, smiling warmly.

"You make me a better person, y/n. Thank you," Kensei whispers, wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his head into the crook of your head.

Rojuro Otoribashi: Rojuro is always very careful with his words, but not this time. His words were mean and harsh. His eyes lock onto the tears dripping down your face and his eyes widen.

A frown tugs on his face and he walks over to you. His large hands cup your face and you sniffle, your body jolting.

"Y/N, are you okay? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that," Rojuro shakes his head, thumb brushing your skin gently. You glance up at him, vision blurred because of the tears.

His thumb starts to brush away your wet tears and his eyes become soft. His blonde hair falls down into his face and your lips tremble.

"No, it's okay. I shouldn't be such a baby," you shake your head, trying to tug away from him, but his grip is too strong.

"Hey, no, it's okay. You're not a baby. I am so sorry for my choice of words and not being gentle with you. I promise to be more gentle with you," he speaks gingerly, fingers carefully pressing into your cheeks.

You gulp and nod your head as he leans his forehead against yours, smiling warmly.

Kisuke Urahara: After a big argument, Kisuke left the shop to be by himself for awhile. He enters the shop again and his eardrums fill with quiet sobbing.

His eyes widen and his breath hitches in his throat. He makes his way to the back of the shop where your room is. You're sitting on the ground, back pressed up against the wall and knees brought up to your chest.

He rushes over to your side and kneels down, arms wrapping around you and bringing you to his chest.

"Where did you go?" you mumble out between hiccups and sobs. A frown tugs on Kisuke's face and he clenches his jaw.

He's mad at himself. He shouldn't have left you after the argument, it was a horrible idea.

"I shouldn't have left the store. I just needed space, but I wasn't thinking about what you needed. I won't ever leave again, I promise," he reassures you, fingers brushing through your hair.

Izuru Kira: Your fists are clenched as your throat tightens up, tears welling up to the brims of your eyelids. Izuru lets out a heavy sigh, running his hands over his face with frustration.

He lifts his head up and his eyes lock onto you from across the room. You chew on your bottom lip, blood starting to spill out as you try not to cry.

"Whoa, hey, hey," he calls out, fear flooding his body as he rushes over to you. He grabs onto your shoulders and carefully pulls you closer to him.

He pulls you into your chest and you wrap your arms around his lower torso, tears staining his soul reaper uniform. His hand runs over your hair, brushing it down.

"There's no need to cry, y/n. I like you better when you're smiling and laughing," he comments and you let out a tiny chuckle.

"Me too," you mumble out, squeezing him.

Ikkaku Madarame: A gut wrenching sob leave your lips and Ikkaku gasps quietly. He leaps over to you and his arms wrap around your waist.

The two of you stumble around, falling back onto the bed.

"Oh, god. I'm sorry," his voice is filled with panic and worry. You gaze into his soft eyes and you let out a loud giggle, filling the room.

Ikkaku furrows his eyebrows and he stares at you in confusion. You bring up your hands and cup his cheeks, throwing your legs over his.

"I'm sorry for laughing. I just didn't expect to fall on the bed," you shrug your shoulders as his hands gently wipe away your wet tears.

"I love the sound of your laughter," he nuzzles his head into your chest, arms securely wrapping around your waist and squeezing you tightly.

The both of you forgot what you were even arguing about as you laugh and chat about the accidental fall.

Shuhei Hisagi: His blood runs cold as the tears drip down off your jawline and onto the ground.

"Y/N?" Shuhei calls out and your bottom lips quivers. You slowly shift your eyes up and meet his. Your cheeks flush with embarrassment and you gulp.

"I'm sorry," you mumble out, turning around and burying your face into the palms of your hands. He slowly walks over to you and wraps his arms around your waist from behind.

He rests his chin on your shoulder and presses a kiss to your earlobe.

"Don't ever be sorry. I should be the one apologizing. I shouldn't have said those things, I'm sorry," he speaks tenderly as you lean back into his body.

You glance down at his hands, resting on your stomach and you place yours on his, letting out a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry, too. It was stupid to argue over something like that," you shake your head and Shuhei nods his head.

"I hate arguing with you," he admits and a smile tugs on your face. You turn around and wrap your arms around his neck, bringing your lips to his.

"Then let's stop arguing," you smile, kissing him softly.

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chaifootsteps · 4 days ago

Note

wr.t. leaks (spoilers, duh!). Viv really chose the most boring and uninspired rendition of Alastor possible, and I could not be more disappointed. The signs were definitely there in Season 1, but if you wanted to you could easily dismiss as sloppy writing and one-time reactions to extraordinary events.

Like, I know no fan is *entitled* to have their particular interpretation of a character be validated, but... really? He's been reduced to the form of a one-dimensional, entitled manchild you might find as the villain of a self-insert fanfiction. Ohhhh nooo luci hurt his feefees and Rosie didn't actually make him an all powerful god, so time to storm out and whine about it. Why make a deal in the first place? Well, duh, he gleefully murdered so many people for trivial inconveniences he didn't wanna end up a tortured soul in Hell. He's basically Valentino, but, on the 'good team', and not a rapist (yet.), or Adam, or Vox, or Mammon, or Stella (frankly, you could even put Stolas in this bucket, if he weren't so unintentionally manipulative). A parody of a threatening character, incapable of creating conflict in any way that doesn't involve waving around a big stick and reminding everyone and the audience who the author blessed with magical power don't you forget it!

I've said this about pilot!fanon!Lucifer too, but, the fandom interpretations are just objectively more interesting. It's not like you can't write a story, or even a good story, about an entitled man drunk on power obsessed with his own image and getting what he thinks he's owed. But why would you 1) choose an enslaved racial minority character (!!!) to do this and 2) do it instead of multiple more compelling options given you already have multiple of this exact character on the cast?

Fanon!Alastor has emotions other than anger and insecure whining, he just can't express them because decades of crawling his way up two different hostile societies have beaten into him never expressing vulnerability. His very smile is symbol of societies like Hell ultimately victimize both the powerful abusers and their victims. Fanon!Alastor had a deal with ___ not because he's drunk on his own desire to murder but because he's vulnerable to the very same weakness and temptation he's learned to exploit in others. Fanon!Alastor has a natural dual conflict with Charlie: Alastor's connections and practical knowledge represent a way of making her dream a reality, at the cost of potentially corrupting her and having her get there in an incorrect/immoral way. And Charlie's dream presents Alastor with a pathway to more power and stability, but unbeknownst to him threatens to unwind his entire psyche in allowing himself to care about something. Fanon!Alastor, far from being image-obsessed with a need to be constantly in the limelight, is capable of being subtle, fading into the background when it benefits him.

I could go on, but I'm just tired. It hurts me that, come release, fan works which I enjoy making and reading will be expected to comply with this. I don't want to write Alastor this way. I don't want to be told I'm writing him 'wrong' for not doing it. I hope that in some way the earlier fanons are preserved and kept alive even as canon is polluted with all this slop.

It's sad and exhausting, for sure. It also doesn't help that the standom will attack you pretty viciously if you have the audacity to prefer the pilot to the actual series.

#clairefey #viv stuff #hazbin leaks #actual blog post

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francesderwent · 11 months ago

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been thinking about the whole “women in their thirties are refusing to get married and have kids because they’re selfish and ungodly and that’s what’s wrong with today’s society” shtick and what I think is this.

sometimes, women are single on purpose through their own choice. I’m one of them. I wasn’t in a relationship from the ages of twenty-two to thirty. I went on a very few first dates and even fewer second dates, and in every single one of those cases I was the one who said "thanks but I don't think we should pursue this any further", which isn't even to say anything about all the dates I turned down right off the bat and all the casual overtures I rebuffed. and those men weren't vicious monsters, they were all more or less basically decent. I could have married any one of them - even the ones I wouldn't go on first dates with. if I wanted to be married, I could have been. I chose not to be.

and it does have something to do with the fact that I was used to being single, but not in the sense of not having any room in my life for somebody else, not wanting to put in the work, not wanting to live for someone else. because anybody who's been single for a long time will tell you the only saving grace is filling your life with meaningful friendships and family relationships you can sacrifice for and be vulnerable in. a single life isn't necessarily a life where you're accountable to no one. sometimes it's a life where you're accountable to a whole lot of people, all at once, pulled in a lot of directions, trying to balance a lot of plates.

and the kicker is, when you have a life that's full like that, and you're used to it - when that's the firm status quo and you're not caught up in the rollercoaster of dating a lot and comparing new partners to old partners - then, when you do let a new person into your life, you can tell very quickly whether they make your life better or not. some people, you can comfortably date them and they're not going to make your life worse, but they don't add anything besides an excuse to get out to coffeeshops and restaurants and the movies. and some people, as soon as you start getting to know them, their influence starts creeping into the whole of your life because they make you want to be better all the time. I like to think the second kind of person would shine no matter when you met them, no matter what else was going on at the time. but in certain circumstances the first kind of person can shine, when they’re surrounded by a muddle of people who have made your life worse. so taking a step back from the muddle and being very careful who you let into your life in a big way isn't selfishness, or disrespect for marriage and family. it’s actually a kind of prudence.

I could've married any of those men who asked me out in my twenties. I chose not to, because they were just okay. and eventually, I met my current boyfriend, who makes me want to be a better daughter and sister, who encouraged me to stop bottling everything up and suffering in silence so that I could actually be emotionally vulnerable, not just with him but with my friends and family!, who has deepened my faith by showing me what agapic love looks like.

and I wasn't guaranteed any of that. when I was turning down dates and ending fledgling relationships, I had no way of knowing that this was even possible. but I think I made the right decision - and if he'd never turned up, I still think I would've made the right decision. Lizzie didn’t know that she would marry Mr Darcy, a man she loved and truly respected and admired, when she turned down Mr Collins. but she was right to turn down Mr Collins.

#it ALL comes down to the right to refuse Mr Collins in the end!!!!!!#in which cate tells stories #I will still not be elaborating at this time

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everpresence · 2 months ago

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stop caring about what others think: the law perspective

hi, everyone! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

i've thought about writing this post for a while, especially since this is a mindset that i am freeing myself from. i know i'm not the only one who grew up in the state of being a people pleaser, so this is for people who were programmed to neglect their own desires and give in to pressure from family, friends, and society.

the other day, my mom noticed that i had a really long gray strand of hair. i didn't believe her at first, but when she pulled it out and showed it to me, i was shocked. it looked like it had been there for months, and i wondered to myself what i did for this to happen.

seth said that your physical body is a reflection of your beliefs, or your dominant dwelling state. if you notice that there is something "wrong" with your body, then you must first look into your thoughts and emotions over the last few weeks, months, etc.

Physical symptoms are communications from the inner self, indications that we are making mental errors of one kind or another. ♡ Seth (channeled by Jane Roberts), The Seth Material

after seeing that gray hair, i knew that it was because of stress. okay, what was i stressed about? i started looking back into what i had dwelt on over the last few months, and i realized that i was stressed out about a lot of things. what stood out, though, was my inner conversations about my family. i was mainly dwelling on what my family thought of me, whether i was worthy of their approval or not, if they were proud of me, etc.

in other words, i cared way too much about how they think and feel about me that it had translated to not only having that long gray strand of hair, it also translated to other physical symptoms (chronic fatigue, chest pain, rashes).

and not only did it translate to those physical symptoms, it also translated to my thoughts, emotions, and the events i was experiencing in the 3D. in other words, everything out here is a reflection of your inner state of being. the cause is always inner.

i found myself feeling more anxious about talking to my parents, wishing that they didn't bring up anything that i really don't want to do. i even avoided them for a certain period of time because of this fear. and since the law is always working 24/7, they ended up bringing it up way more often since i frequently dwelt on what i don't want to hear.

thankfully, though, if i decide to do the opposite (i.e., dwelling on what i want to hear instead), then the 3D has no choice but to outpicture what i choose to experience with my inner senses.

when you consistently dwell on people pleasing, on your fears and doubts about your family, peers, etc., these are all going to be translated into your thoughts, your emotions, your physical body, your experience—everything.

when you care too much about what other people think, when you consent to someone else's limiting beliefs about reality, when you care about external validation, it is only hindering your infinite potential. you are only going to experience such limitations and unhappiness in your reality because you chose to try to fit into someone else's box.

As long as you're in a state of consciousness where you care so much what other people think and what their attitudes will be, you're not going to get very far. ♡ Reverend Ike, "Your Unconscious Fear of Success Affirmation"

i am not saying this as a way to fearmonger, or to blame, or to guilt-trip you. that's not my intention.

i am saying this for you to fully realize the connection between your inner world and your outer world.

nothing is random. nothing is an accident. you are always getting what you concentrated upon, and therefore, you ultimately have the responsibility to choose what reality you want to experience.

you're the only one that can free yourself from these states. no one else can do that for you.

the more you focus on being true to yourself, the more you shift your focus from making other people happy to letting yourself be happy, the more you're going to experience the happiness that comes with the authenticity of your unique being.

yes, it might feel hard to do so at first, but that's because we have made a habit out of wanting to please other people and being rewarded with external validation. it is what we have gotten used to since the beginning of our lives.

however, if you want to be the best version of yourself, you must give up all inner conversations about what other people think of you, that what they think about you matters. stop the arguments in your head. their thoughts and opinions about you have no power over you unless you choose to give it to them. it only matters what you think and feel about yourself.

your inner world is your refuge, where every single reality you desire to experience and is already promised to you exists in this present moment. everything is happening all at once. here, you can experience how it'd feel now that you are free to be yourself, to do whatever you want, to be unconditionally loved and accepted no matter what. you must make this a habit, and the more often you do this, the easier it gets.

I must consciously return to my new state constantly. I must feel its naturalness, like my own bed at night. At first the new state seems unnatural, like wearing a new suit or hat. Although no one knows your suit is new, you are so conscious of it you think everyone is looking at you. You are aware of its fit and its feeling until it becomes comfortable. So it is with your new state. At first you are conscious of its strangeness; but with regular wearing, the new state becomes comfortable, and its naturalness causes you to constantly return to it, thereby making it real. ♡ Neville Goddard, "The Perfect Image"

if you find yourself going back to those old inner conversations, don't beat yourself up over it. don't criticize yourself. it's okay. consciousness is the only reality, but you are also having a human experience. you are on your own journey, and this is completely normal. be gentle with yourself and let those thoughts and emotions pass over, as they are only temporary. then choose to continue to let yourself dwell on who you really want to be within.

to wrap this post up, i have a song recommendation :]

i stumbled upon this song on spotify by paris hilton which features rina sawayama (I LOVE HER BTW RAHHHHHH). perhaps the lyrics will resonate with you guys and allow yourselves to enter the feeling of being your authentic self.

#♡#loassumption #law of assumption #loablr #affirm and persist #loa tumblr #loa blog #spirituality #law of attraction #loattraction #manifesting #manifestation #imagination creates reality #self concept #self actualization #growth mindset #glow up #this has been in the drafts for a while #Spotify

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vympirestake · 1 year ago

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Hello, could I please request head cannons for: Veronica Sawyer, poly Billy and stu, brahms heelshire, and marko from the lost boys where their s/O is very insecure about how they look and always wear a mask and maybe their reaction to seeing their face for the first time.

— Insecure Masked S/O

— Various x GN!Reader, just fluff, headcanons

— Mentions of insecurity, a little bit of bullying maybe

═════════════════════════════

— Veronica Sawyer

Veronica is your knight in shining armor, your protector and biggest supporter

Her alliance with the Heathers makes it so, if she so chose, she could squash anyone who dare try to shun you either for your mask or (this bring a semi small town) your actual face if they've seen it

She's always quick to your defence, whether or not you were going to defend yourself she is chewing everyone out and moving you to where she can check up on you

Literally starstruck when she sees your face

She's more gentle than the others, opting to gently brush her fingertips along your cheeks, across your jaw, smoothing your hair down if the mask had covered it

She is really just in awe, wanting to make you feel wholly loved and appreciated for everything you are

If anything, she gets more protective of you. Feeling as though, because you entrusted her with the barest part of you, she needs to keep it safe

For a complete sidenote, I think in this AU instead of thirsting for Veronica, JD sees himself in her fierce passion for you (and he just thinks you're neat, probably always talking down society and norms to encourage you) so he ropes her into killing in your name

═════════════════════════════

— Poly Ghostface

In a couple words, the general idea is that these boys would kill and be killed for you

This goes for really just in general, mask or no mask, but the fact that you are so insecure almost seems to triple this instinct

You can bet they're shoved right into your sides whenever you're in public, staring down and threatening anyone who even looks at you funny

When you finally decide to show them your face they both sit in their anxious anticipation

They'll love you no matter what, don't get me wrong, but they don't want to mess this up and make you more uncomfortable

When you actually show them they both just sit there like :0, literally in the gif just wide eyed with their mouths slightly agape

Stu giving a quiet whisper of "woah, man" before diving in to finally kiss your face for the first time

Billy (lowkey pissed Stu beat him to it) moves the blonde out of the way so he can get his smooch too, both assuring you beyond a shadow of a doubt that they love you masked or not

Billy especially gets almost a power thrill from seeing your face, knowing he's one of a very select few to actually see you which, in his mind, makes you all the more his

═════════════════════════════

— Brahms Heelshire

Of anyone, Brahms is going to understand your insecurities the best

Your mask is probably what made him comfortable in his choice to finally reveal himself

He knew that you wouldn't judge or be afraid of him purely because of his face or his way of hiding it

When you do finally reveal your face to Brahms, he is filled with nothing but pure adoration

He knows that taking off your mask, removing that layer of security, and being so very vulnerable around him makes Brahms fall that much deeper in love with you

Unfortunately, this probably means he would end up staring for an uncomfortably long amount of time, nearly making you regret removing the mask in the first place

Before you could fathom apologizing Brahms, in turn, removes his own mask

It's such a gentle moment, quietly and with so much care exploring the newly revealed skin of the other

═════════════════════════════

— Marko

While Marko doesn't necessarily understand your insecurity, he nontheless tries his hardest to make sure you're more or less as comfortable as possible

He strives to make you as comfortable in your own skin as he can

He's always right by your side, offering a comforting hand or a moment alone

You know the other boys are always checking back on you two, especially looking out for Marko flagging down their newest meal who thought being disrespectful towards you would be ok

Marko has an interesting opinion on it, knowing that his "human" face is really only a mask for the vampiric one but it makes him not as serious as the others might be

Not to say he doesn't understand the importance of this! But more that he feels the removal of the "mask" is empowering and therefore should be celebrated

So when you remove the mask for the first time, he's whooping and hollering

"yeah! that's my s/o" while he bounds up to kiss you

probably immediately shows you his vampire face (if you haven't seen it already) so you can finally see each other bare

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kakarotcake · 1 month ago

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Had a giant early morning realization on why I enjoy Gochi as much as I do. (I wrote a lot in this; there's a TLDR at the end but please read through my hopefully-coherent rambling to get full context.)

It's specifically because of how non-conventional they are. They didn't date / go through a courting phase before they got married. They barely knew each other at all in fact. Yet, Goku felt unbothered enough to honor a promise he made as a child, and agreed to go forward with the marriage anyway. Chi Chi stayed committed to Goku's promise, despite how she didn't know him, and literally got his consent as an adult first before they went on.

And they made it work.

I so wish we got to see the 5 years of Goku and Chi Chi living together + the early years of Gohan's youth, but specifically because I would like to see just how they each adapted to their new living situation. But regardless, the fact remains that they STAYED together. Chi Chi for sure would've left Goku if she was that unhappy with how Goku just isn't a conventional guy when it comes to relationships. Going home to her dad and resuming being Fire / Frypan Mountain's Princess was always right there as an option. Hell Chi Chi's been identified as an attractive lady in-universe, so she could probably meet someone new before long! But she didn't take it. IIRC, she never has.

I also feel like Goku would also get up and leave if he was unhappy. He's never had to force himself to sacrifice his own happiness for someone else as he lived on Paozu by himself for years, then spent the rest of his teenhood traveling around & training, so if presented with that kind of scenario he wouldn't think twice before being like "ok whatever, see ya" and just peacing out. He wouldn't see the point in staying, since why would he make himself stay somewhere he isn't welcomed or doesn't feel welcome? Grandpa Gohan's old home was always there for him.

My personal biggest gripes with their relationship have honestly never been because of how they had little chemistry before they got together. For me it's always been about how Chi Chi is just treated like a joke by the writer(s); she follows an angry housewife stereotype. Sure, it's supposed to be a joke and she's supposed to come off as comedic, but it only ends up doing damage because it encourages you as a viewer to not take Chi Chi or her relationship with Goku seriously. (I'm ignoring Goku here, but his writing in DBS *anime wise at least* is atrocious and further fed into this btw.)

Yet, from what I've seen over the years in the western fanbase, people's biggest issues with Gochi (aside from general Chi Chi hatred) is because it isn't a conventional relationship. It had hardly any chemistry going into it. I understand that logic, don't get me wrong, but I only understand it when I factor in society's amatonormative & allonormative lens. And I hate both of those things. Gochi not complying with them is what I find charming about the ship.

They didn't date or establish a super deep bond or whatever, yet they lived together in peace for 5 years. They continued to bounce off of one another throughout Z. Chi Chi NEVER remarried or even dated someone while Goku was dead for 7 years. She was crying happy tears when he finally returned at the end of the Buu saga. Goku was more than happy to go home with her and their kids (and tbh I'm 99.99% sure he wouldn't have minded if Chi Chi chose to get with someone else - he chose to stay dead after all). OBVIOUSLY they care for one another a lot, despite how they married each other as strangers. They themselves are narrative (if that's the right word) proof that conventional love & romance & whatever don't guarantee successful marriages. I adore that.

And it's funny because Vegebul is a pairing that also had little to no chemistry going into it, but unlike with Gochi, the no chemistry actually does hurt it for a couple of reasons (all of them revolving around how Vegeta was/is a terrible person) that I won't get into here because it'll derail this post and it's long enough already. I just wanted to point that out in text myself first, before other people came at me trying to argue it.

Anyway. TLDR Gochi as a ship defies amatonormative & allonormative concepts regarding intimate relationships. "You have to date / court someone first, fall in love with them, then marry them because marriage will make sense & be healthy then." They didn't do the first two parts, but after getting married, they're happy together. They spat in the face of societal norms & expectations.

#gochi #goku x chichi #dragon ball ships #( gochi ironically makes my nonpartnering aroace brain fire off on all cylinders )#( writing this post made me remember )#( on how the funimation dub made goku's confession to chi chi come off as way more romantic )#( than it actually was. in the jpn version; he's literally like ''ok wanna get married?'' and thats it )#( which is the correct depiction of it i feel. they didnt truly love each other going into marriage; so why frame it as if they did )#( but again. they clearly grew to care for one another deeply as time went on )#( what other ships have this kind of beginning; and they still work?? a scattered few; im sure )

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that-was-a-bit-stupid-of-you · 7 months ago

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I don't understand, what's going on with Taylor and Matt trash being a couple? Could you explain to me?

nothing is really going on at the moment tbh, cuz they broke up a pretty long while ago, but the issue is the album (if that's what you're referring to) and taylor swift herself.

[will add sources and more stuff when I find the links and if I realise I missed something out, cuz this is a general thing based off of memory]

Context: dating history

Basically she and matty had been friends for a few years (there are rumors of them hooking up ig in 1989 era maybe, but I don't really care enough to believe shit like that). Apparently he had also been pining for her (according to stuff he said in interviews and tweets) for years, but again, you can still chalk it up to rumors if you wanna.

The thing is that post her breakup with joe alwyn, she started dating him (in like april I think) [there had been dating rumors of them since 2014 tho, and again in March 2023] and the fandom kinda got divided.

Here is the link to their entire timeline

Context: what matty healy did

Matty healy (you prolly know this) is basically racist, sexist, antisemitic, homophobic and God knows what else I have missed out or not been aware of. He did shit like doing the nazi gesture on stage, mocking asian accents, tastelessly making fun of ice spice on her race and bodyshaming her, laughing and basically confirming that he watches violent rape porn of black women on a site that is known to be highly problematic and force their actors (gender neutral) to do things they dont consent to (there was also an actress who was assaulted or something but im not informed on it). Even when he was called out on stuff like this, he accused people (who were poc, btw) of overreacting.

Context: taylor and activism

Taylor had also, in the past (lover era, and miss Americana the doc) had talked about how she had been too quiet about political issues and politics itself for too long, that she understands her influence and power in society, and that she "needs to be on the right side of history" and even specifics such as that she thinks it's spineless to go on stage and say "happy pride month" and not acknowledge the political oppression that queers in USA were facing (something about a bill or the republican party idk man I'm not american, i dont remember but i did research when i watched the doc tho). She has claimed she was gonna be clear about where she stands (many republicans had considered her to be one, and many thought she's conservative or something, but she was always quiet about it, until the lover era). However, she just stopped that activism after the lover era, and went back to being quiet on where she stands (I've seen many swifties refer to the lover era as the activism era) and hasn't spoken about anything substantial really. She did some things like post a black square with 13 hearts during blm, and stuff that every celeb who wasn't openly a pos did, but that's kinda it. Even as a self proclaimed feminist, she didn't speak up on issues such as roe v wade, or about an issue regarding drag queens despite having them in yntcd, or talking about trans/queer rights until she was in a blue state (im not an American, I just like to keep up a little with stuff in usa cuz it's always up in my face sadly, and thus i cant be specific, but anyways, correct me if I'm wrong, or if I missed something).

So even after saying she'll be vocal, she was just... not. And that's basically her on politics or giving a shit about minority communities.

Context: Fandom's reaction

Swifties were extremely disappointed that taylor CHOSE to associate with a man like this, and there were fans calling her out, and she received backlash, too.

Most of these swifties were poc (myself included) and they felt hurt that an artist that they not just supported and developed such a deep connection with, but also financially supported for years, would have such disregard for them. Not just was she dating him, but she kept saying things such as "I have never been happier in all aspects of my life" or saying "I love you" or "uk who you are" in romantic songs on the tour, which was just adding insult to injury. She also did a collab with ice spice (which was completely out of nowhere, and the collab itself seemed badly made and rushed), which fans and others speculated to be a pr cover up for the fact that matty healy had mocked her (many ppl also believed that it was too quick for it to be a pr cover tho).

Now, in the fandom, when poc swifties were calling her out on dating mh, (mostly) white swifties started harassing poc swifties for doing so, or saying that they are hindering with her happiness or some bs about it being "just a fling" (again, myself included). They said it's the same as seeing a friend get out of a long-term relationship and make bad dating choices, and poc swifties should let it go (as if taylor is our close personal friend). In a mostly white fandom, poc swifties felt alienated and sidelined.

Ofc, taylor never addressed any of this backlash, and after she broke up with him, there were articles saying that sources say (which mostly means her pr team atp) that her breakup had nothing to do with his controversies or behavior.

The album release (lyrics, references and reaction)

Now, with the release of ttpd, contrary to what most of the fandom believed, most of the songs on both the albums are believed to be (and heavily hinted on) about matty healy. These include 4 songs- "ttpd", "but daddy I love him", "I can fix him (no really I can)", and "guilty as sin?"

Ttpd, the title track, talks about mh being "a tattooed golden retriever" (wtf) and about him love-bombing her, and her pining after him, thinking about marriage and shit. But daddy I love him and I can fix him, are basically that no one supported her dating decision and she's claiming that she loves him oh so goddamn much, but more importantly, her talking about her fans' reactions. Specifically, describing her poc fans to be "vipers" and "judgemental creeps" who hate her and them being hurt as "bitching and moaning", and basically took the side of the (white) fans who defended her, indirectly. She described his racist bs as "crazy" and said shit like she could "handle a dangerous man." She also has another song, "Guilty as sin?" and while I genuinely don't give a fuck about what she chooses to do in her private life, unless it is problematic, it is about her fantasizing about being with that racist man while being in a long term relationship with joe alwyn. She sings about how she wants him and wants to be with him... in multiple ways, iykyk. Again, out of context, I love this song so much, but that doesn't erase the context, right?

She also has a song "I hate it here" where she says the following lines:

"My friends used to play a game where

We would pick a decade

We wished we could live in instead of this

I'd say the 1830s but without all the racists and getting married off for the highest bid"

And while there are many reasons why this line by itself is racist (romantisization of a time that was extremely shitty to many communities, most of which she is not a part of, showing herself to be "oh look I'm so woke I still remember the bad things even when I romanticize bad eras in history" which is something you expect from an ignorant white high schooler maybe, not a 34 y/o billionaire who claims to be well-read, etc.) but taylor swift herself saying these is adding insult to injury cuz she has shown time and time again she has no problem with racism (she kept quiet when antonia gentry, a black actress, received hate and racist threats by swifties because of a line BY NETFLIX that taylor didn't like, and she shouldn't ofc, but it wasn't the actress' fault), or associating herself with them (matty healy, for example). It is hypocritical to write something like that after writing an album about pining after a man and his "dangerousness," which is just bigotry. Way to romanticise racism, sexism, and antisemitism, taylor.

Even now, after listening to the album, she clearly doesn't like mh anymore, NOT because of his actions, but because he broke her heart, showing that she still enables and is okay with everything he did.

And that's kind of it (ig) about her and matty healy. I'm not really sure exactly which part you wanted to know, so this is just a gist of it all. Hope it helps :)

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blackdragoness · 2 years ago

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PAC: WHAT MAKES YOU STAND OUT?

1) Pile 1 - 10 of Pentacles

2) Pile 2- Page of Wands

3) Pile 3- 5 of Pentacles

--------------------------------------------------------------

Pile 1 - 10 of Pentacles

💍WIFEY💍

What makes you standout:

- wifey material

- stable

- patient

- kind

- sustainable

- efficient

- workaholics

- might come from a great family or upbringing

- endurance

- "you better shape up, cuz I need a man but my heart is set on you" sandy from grease

- temptation

-personable

-charismatic

-public speaking

-might be great with animals

-high standards and high morals

Tarot Cards:

You are the TOTAL PACKAGE. Hot Mami Tamale 🔥This is why you are wifey material. You are the calm of any storm. You are a great problem solver. I'm channelling alot of masculine energy. A lot of men think about you. You may be surrounded by men a lot either in a work environment or friend environment, etc. Men know they can rely on you to complete tasks that may be too heavy for other women to carry. You may have many suitors. Early on you may doubt your self worth because many of your suitors may not take you seriously at first but then fall madly in love as time goes on. You may be extremely attractive whether you care to admit it or not. This is why men don't take you seriously at first. They think you are nothing but a trophy and a good time. That is until they open up Pandora's box and find out all there is to know about such a beautiful alien creature that you are lol. Men realize you are not one to play with because you aren't afraid to walk away from anything that doesn't serve you. You may be "the one that got away" for a lot of people. This is not a love reading but I am channelling alot of romantic feelings from the opposite sex (not gender specific). You may be perceived as someone who never struggles in romance as you have lots of romantic offers. You always seem to glow up and level up every time you close a chapter in your life. A lot of people from your past miss you and wish to reconnect. What makes you standout is how people react to you. People notice the various reactions you evoke in those you interact with. Even those who are widely known for being the Eeyore of the crew will crack a smile or laugh during an interaction with you. You make everything seem effortless. I'm hearing legacy. Those who chose this pile are destined to leave behind a legacy. It could be positive or negative, but it's your choice to write your own story. Whatever it be, it will be what your bloodline is known for for generations to come but also be what you guys are skilled at. People don't realize what you meant to them until you walked away but things seemed to be effortless for you once you walked away and chose yourself. You stand out for your self love and your love for others. You want everyone around you to succeed and thrive. Everyone feels more inspired and motivated when you are around. You are many peoples muse. Keep shining bright like a diamond hunty.

Channelled Movie: Land Before Time

Channelled Song: You're The One That I Want - Olivia Newton John & John Travolta

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Pile 2: Page of Wands

⭐SUPERSTAR⭐

What makes you standout:

- limitless potential

-innovative

-breathe of fresh air

-unorthodox

-thinks outside the box

-talkative and communicative but in a way that grabs your attention for a long period of time

-leadership qualities

-initiative

-strong aries vibes

-lone wolf

-menace to society

-catalyst for change

Tarot cards:

If you chose this group, the thing that makes you stand out is that you have an undercover celebrity vibe about you. What makes you stand out is that you do not see just now truly magical you are to other people. Whimsical. You seem like a fairy when people first meet you and they wonder why you settle for the life you choose. You might live a very simple mundane and minimalistic lifestyle. Nothing wrong with that but you stand out to people because they think you should be living more lavishly. It's like if someone who looked like Jennifer Lopez decided to settle for a basic 9-5 career while rocking Shein's and being okay with that. Granted, she would still slay but do you see why you stand out? You look like something that waltzed right out of a Disney movie. "if there was anyone who would make it big from this small town, it would be that girl!" A lot of people see you as a celebrity in the making. Like you could be a model, an actress, a super star! But you are at peace with working a basic job making minimum wage. You make people want to invest in you. However, there's Something about a lack of motivation and being stuck in between two worlds. Indecisive energy. This may keep you awake at night. Wondering about your stability and your future. You are a rollercoaster! When people meet you, they aren't prepared for the rollercoaster of emotions you take them through. You are hard to comprehend and understand. Some of the things you do may at face value seem completely disrespectful and inhumane. But as time goes on and people pick apart the incident, they come to understand the innocence of your actions. As much as people hate it, they can't resist it. People can become very addicted to you and lose sleep over you. People can develop very jealous feelings towards you wondering if you are entertaining others or if their partners are secretly entertaining you. Lots and lots of birds in your life. Lots of talk. Lots of chita-chatta. You stand out because you are very humble. You are okay with the simple and mundane things in life. A lot of people think you could be famous or widely known for the ideas you come up with but you don't seem to care for the recognition. This is why you stand out. You are very talented and skilled in many things yet you do nothing with it. You are someone who shines bright without even trying. you may not like the spotlight or being the center of attention but when you do open up and share parts of your world with others, they feel so warm and gooey like warm honey lol. People don't understand why you aren't utilizing your talents. But it's only because they are addicted to your honey! They wish they could have it 24/7 but they disregard the fact that you are a human being as well. You may like a lot of time alone. Inner peace. Boundaries. You see the world differently. You choose to develop and master your talents in private and use them only when needed. Fame is not what you are after. It's skill. But not many people understand that or know. You may not even know that yourself. That is why you do not care to show off your talents.

Channelled Movie: Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile

Channelled Song: Anti-hero: Taylor Swift

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Pile 3: 5 of Pentacles

🏍️RIDE OR DIE ALPHA🏍️

-charitable

-selfless , will take the shirt off your back to help someone in need

-Icy Queen vibes - you colddddddd AF bitch 🤣 I'd like to see a mf TRY!

-cut off game strong

-spiritual to the point where people think you are a little kookoo in the noggin

-out of touch, out of reach, out of sight

-known for overcoming deep struggles and being victorious

-Soldier energy

-experienced

-teacher, mentor energy

-moves in silence

-unexpected

-enigma

Tarot cards:

You stand out because of your resiliency and your indestructibility. Whoever chose this pile, you have been through the war field many times in your life. Wounded. Stranded. Deserted. Left out. Shamed. Abused. Manipulated. Betrayal. So much hate and malice thrown your way and still you rose. Gahhhh dayum Pile 3, y'all some muthafuckin' souljah's, lets just say that! Your world could have been flipped upside down And tossed around and yet you still rose from the destruction and created opportunities for yourself. Dayuuuummmmmm. This energy is huge and it's intense. Who tf are you? When people think of you they are AMAZED at your inner strength especially after they find out your history and all the battles you've fought. You are valiant. Chivalrous. Immovable. Courageous. Unstoppable. Warrior spirit. Phoenix rising. People may have seen you come out victorious from a very tumultuous time. It's shocking and astonishing. You see the silver lining in everything so even the sourest of life experiences, you are able to see the sweetness of it all. Real life influencer vibes. "N*gga, F*ck your twitter, bitches follow me in real life" -J Cole. In a league of your own. In your own world. Superhero vibes. Super Villain vibes. GOAT. Go getter. Midas touch. Alpha dawg. Regina George/Sharpay Evans vibes. Pristine. Prim & proper. Upperclass vibes. The popular girl in school. Girl next door vibes. Confidence on 30000x. Beyonce of your own world. Fierce. Magnetic. One in a million. Unique. Straight to the point. Cut-throat. No bullshit.

Channelled Movie: The Blind Side

Channelled Song: Scars to Your Beautiful - Alessia Cara

#pick a pile #pick a card reading #pac reading #tarot community #intuitive readings #astro community #astrology #astro notes #art #zodiac

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spidey-bie · 1 year ago

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I read a Hobie analysis which inspired this post even though this post and that analysis have nothing in common. Anyways enjoy my rambles.

We don't talk enough about how most of Hobie's influences are either subtle or behind the scenes. He doesn't force his opinion or his thoughts onto anyone. Like when he's trying to guide Miles away from the Spider Society he doesn't just outrightly tell Miles. He tries to subtly persuade him, (this is broken down into detail in this post that's not mine).

So knowing that I retract my previous statement about Hobie going on a rant towards Gwen's father. He definitely said something though but it was most likely in a more roundabout way so that Gwen's father could come to his own conclusion.

I truly love how the spider-verse series likes to subvert expectations. When I was first introduced to Hobie Brown I originally thought that he was just going to be a static character that we don't learn much about. And yet in those 10 minutes we were introduced to so much about his character. We learn what his ideals are, what his motivations are, and how far he's willing to go to protect those that he cares about.

When I first think of anarchy I assumed that it's something chaotic and uncontrolled. Which isn't true once you look more into anarchism. And it's funny because when we first meet Hobie he seems rowdy and spontaneous. He literally bursts into the scene while shredding on his guitar. Yet when the mask comes off his actions and mannerisms have changed. He still holds the same principles and ideals but he seems more toned down if that makes sense. (Somebody wrote a post about how everyone's alter ego seems like over exaggerated versions of themselves and if I can find it I'll reference it. Edit: FOUND IT. ALSO THIS POST TOO. )

Now I wonder how long has Hobie been plotting to overthrow this organization. I refuse to believe that he could just sit back and let it all be. Especially after learning about canon events. It's true that he has enough going on in his own world. But I'm sure that he was attempting at the very least to recruit people for the destruction of this organization. Was Miles just the last straw?

This is completely unrelated but I think there's something to be said about how the spiders chose to be willfully ignorant in this society while knowing that it was an organization based off of someone else's flawed reasonings. Was it because of the camaraderie and the fellowship that they felt within it that they couldn't bring themselves to see that it was wrong?

These are just some thoughts. But I would love to hear what someone else thought about this.

#the fact that he's not a forefront character and yet he influences a good part of the movie #just mwah #chefs kiss #hobie brown #atsv thoughts #atsv analysis #analysis #across the spiderverse spoilers #across the spider verse spoilers #spider man across the spider verse #spider man: across the spider verse #across the spiderverse #across the spiderverse analysis #atsv #jay and the spiders

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radioactivewisdom · 4 months ago

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“Weird that there's women out there who would rather I be homeless while disabled and pregnant in order to perform feminism better

Rather than live in a stable home and perform "domestic and emotional labour" for a male who will "eventually snap" and kill me (and apparently this is an event to be relished)

Because we should all be assuming that our relationships will end catastrophically (that's a fair and normal thing to expect of any partner)

And if we dare think our partners won't abuse us we're "victim blaming" women who have ended up in abusive relationships because we think we're "smarter"

Do y'all have this energy for lesbian relationships that go wrong? I know the stats are different, but we still would have the occasional lesbian come into the shelter due to DV reasons, would you advise they also live in critical fear for the rest of their lives because of their emotional or sexual attachment to a sex where a member could cause them harm? If your lesbian partner makes you feel safe and secure and you don't feel threatened - are you "smarter" or "better at recognising the signs" than a lesbian who has been subject to abuse?

Because honestly the stats don't matter a damn if you're the one the dice fall on.

(And I might add, it's an extremely shallow version of DV, that narrative that it only changes in an instant, one day they just "snap". Sometimes it does, but sometimes there's a history of abuses other than violence, sometimes it's violence from the beginning, sometimes it's little things that you don't even notice until you've spent many years apart. No matter how or when it started, how long it has been going on, or who the perpetrator is, these women deserve all the support they need.)

I live in a right wing country where the cost of housing is immense I would *literally* be homeless. My therapist once told me “There’s taking reasonable precautions and then there’s outright paranoia and I think you know which this is”. I think the issue is many people seem to think men are born evil and not raised to be sexist or misogynistic. “The outcome is the same” but the mechanism also means the outcome can change depending on family and society. If they are evil and always have been and the only option is separatism then logically we would not have made our previous gains. “

I hope you change your perspective

Yes, it is weird that women continue to willingly engage in relationships that are likely to harm them. They know the risks, as do you, since you’ve just spent time explaining them thoroughly. You’ve decided that the potential harm is worth it though, as do many others. There’s nothing anyone can do for autonomous adults who engage in dangerous behaviors. People make bad decisions on the daily, dating men is one of them. Try and train your dogs, but don’t expect me to care when they bite. You seem to believe that this wide scale and persistent behavior is a mistake and can be fixed. Go ahead and good luck. I can’t help you, and my approval is unnecessary. Live the life you chose confidently, the collective is already backing you up.

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girllookingoutwindow · 4 months ago

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I don't know why Penelope was so surprised that Colin was mad at her after their wedding. She chose her career over him. Over their family. And I understand why she would do that but that was very wrong. The Queen threatened the Bridgertons - his family and her family by marriage. Colin had the right to be upset and scared and Penelope cared more about keeping her secret as LW and continuing to publish. And then she had the audacity to whine to Colin about their wedding night when she basically told him moments ago to shut up and deal with her secret identity and the fact that the Queen of England had threatened his family. I wouldn't want to touch her either.

Hi, anon. This message . It feels like you're trying to make angry.?? in purpose???

Good luck...

I don't agree. I would never agree. You know what I think your message it's very misogynistic.

Saying that she doesn't deserve to be touch? What kind of thing is that?

Penelope didn't chose on thing over other: she wanted both. Colin was actually who chose to be with her knowing the conflict that could create in his family. He felt guilty, but he did it anyway. He would do it again and again. He chose her. He married her knowing the truth. He didn't care. He wanted to marry her so much that he put in risk all his family. And when the queen was there, after, yes, he was angry. But he was more scared about what could happened to her than anything else.

The idea is you can have both: a career and love in a away. I don't understand the problem with that. I thought we pass that like society.

Pen married Colin just for one thing: love. She wasn't asking him anything else.

But she wasn't choosing a career over him.

Lady Whistledown is her. It's a part of her soul. He was asking her to cut her soul in pieces. She couldn't do that. She couldn't stop being herself. She was tired of hiding herself all the time. And actually him asking to her to hide a part of herself it was wrong. Lady Whistledown it's not just gossip. It is the part of her that feels lonely, that cares for others, it's the part of herself that knows others cruelty. But it's a part of her that's smart, cleaver, and brave.

Pen can't exist without Lady Whistledown. It's not a separated entity.

Colin understood that in the end.

He didn't touch her because he didn't know much about intimacy. He didn't want to have sex being angry to protect her of that. But he didn't know that it's another way to connect, to touch, to love another. He didn't have that experience. They learned that together.

The reason because the story connects with the Eros and Pysque myth it's very interesting. Some, better than me, did a great analysis about the story.

Eros: means love. Psique means soul. The myth is symbol of finding the true self. She needed to stop hiding herself to become something knew, something better. That's the story. Together, they learned to be a better version of themselves, to love each other and themselves.

#if tou dont like pen don't write to me #polin #bridgerton s3 #bridgerton #bridgerton polin #bridgerton spoilers

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yellowocaballero · 2 years ago

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SHAZAM SHAZAM SHAZAM pls tell us about billy batson. ive only ever seen the movies o great comic knower

Very very very VERY far from comic expert (that's brawltogethernow) but I have read a lot of Shazam. His history is actually really, really fascinating and involves more than one lawsuit that really defined very early comics. I'll focus on one thing, though.

There are two Captain Marvels: One from the 1940s to around 2013, and one from 2013 til now. The Captain Marvel you're familiar with (who is named Shazam) is from 2013. He's a more realistic, grounded character. He was created to be pretty much the polar opposite of his original version. The best summary is to say that the Wizard chose Billy Batman 1940 because he had the purest heart, and the Wizard chose Billy Batson ~2013 because he was there. My personal 'best' Shazam story is the "Shazam: The Monster Society of Evil" graphic novel by the guy who made Bone. It's good because it's for elementary schoolers yet acknowledges this small child as homeless. Which, don't get me wrong, you shouldn't always do. My personal favorite is the 1970s ones.

As some background: Otto Binder was the creator/main writer of the very early Captain Marvel comics. He was by far and away the best writer of the early Superman Silver Age comics, because all of his comics were batshit insane. Shazam has a complicated and legal history with Superman, so the 1970 run was a super fun high camp tongue in cheek reinvention of the best Silver Age stories.

So the 1970 Captain Marvel comics are insane.

I can't even summarize them without sounding crazy. Basically the conceit is that Captain Marvel, Captain Marvel Jr, and Mary Marvel (Billy, Freddy, and Mary) are having 1940s Golden Age Adventures when they get somehow in suspended animation and are basically time travelled to the 1970s. This don't bother them too much. Why would it bother them. Nothing bothers these people. Nothing. I don't think anybody experiences a negative emotion in these comics. Not bc they were twee. Bc they were insane.

Many of the comics basically had three shorter comics inside it: one Billy story, one Mary story, one Freddy story. Interestingly, they all had different art styles, artists, types of story, genre, etc. Billy's stories had a cartoony art style with very over-the-top and silly plotlines that involved supervillain bad dudes. Freddy's art was slightly more realistic and was slighty more grounded, but still had some classic Marvel indescribable scifi that can best be summarized as that one meme panel people have seen where Sivana recites a science equation that lets him walk through walls. Mary's stories were much more realistically drawn and featured the most banal shit, like her starting a club with her friends. Somehow Mary Marvel gets involved in those.

Sometimes they worked together and did superhero things and fought bad guys. The average fight looked like this:

Billy was a twelve year old who lived by himself, in his own apartment, had his own radio show, a full-ass job, a whole thing as Captain Marvel. He paid fucking taxes. Everybody knew this and nobody cared. He's the most affable, good natured kid on the face of the planet. Nothing bothers him. Nothing. Nothing bothers any of these people. Sivana shows up and he's BIG MAD so he's creating another death ray and Captain Marvel shows up like "Oh you rascal! Time to punch this and go back to helping my friend eat his infinite Jello."

He has a friend named Talky Tawny, who is a talking tiger wearing a suit. He also has a friend named Sunny Smiles, a person of indeterminate gender who everybody falls in love with, for unexplained and unknown reasons. Not to be confused with Freddy's friend Gregory Gosharootie, the "World's Dullest Mortal", who is so boring that nobody notices him and he keeps accidentally comitting crime. There is also an old guy named Uncle Marvel who pretends he has superpowers, which they all find funny so they just roll with it. Freddy is a disabled orphan who has to sell papers on the street corner to make a living. Mary lives in a middle class suburban home with loving foster parents. It never once seems to occur to Mary's parents to adopt Billy, for Freddy to live with Billy. Everybody is happiest this way.

I do think this is partly why a good Shazam comic has to be aimed at the 6-12yo demographics. They have to be for small children, because Billy is living a complete and utter power fantasy that only a ten year old would think is a good idea. He's a kid, and he doesn't have drag parents or a lame family, but he can turn into Superman, and he can also do magic, and everybody loves him and thinks he's the nicest person, and his supervillains are Dr. Doofenschmirtz and a worm, and his supporting cast is like okay my sister if she HAS to be involved, but also my best friend who is a paperboy! but cool because he's disabled, and….

Look, you could engage with that seriously. You could go "holy shit this is a homeless child". That's fine. That's what they do these days, and that's what they did in the movies. Nothing wrong with that. Take the story more seriously.

But also they don't give a worm the electric chair in those stories, so.

To actually give some commentary on these comics: these comics really love people. I've never seen comics that were so entrenched in their community. The kids just know everybody they meet on the street. Freddy delivers paper up and down every block, so an average story for him is just talking to a butcher or baker or old man or grumpy housewife and helping them out with some batshit problem. Mary's a sweet girl who's always starting clubs with her friends and taking on neighborhood projects. Many Billy stories involve one of his many friends falling into some trouble and Captain Marvel helping them out - or just exploring some fun with Billy hanging out with Sunny Smiles, who is a person of indeterminate gender who for some reason has magic love brainwashing powers -

This isn't the biggest #Shazam take, but I think a good Shazam story stays grounded in that. These are poor street kids who love Fawcett City so damn much. They love fighting their supervillains, but they love helping out the random guy off the street with their problems even more. Way more so than Spider-Man or a lot of other guys, I think of the Marvel family as the friendly neighborhood superheroes. They're both larger than life and street level. They're Superman level powers but they just use the powers for wrapping up their hijinks. Isn't that nice? Aren't you tired of going apeshit? Don't you just want to be nice?

#captain marvel #shazam #mary marvel #freddy freeman #billy batson #captain marvel jr #mary batson #i pulled open the old comics to review to write this #and as a kid I was like.#“hah! silly old silver age comics! they don't know how dumb they are!”#but reading it now im like #“holy shit i think they're doing it on purpose. holy shit. i think this is the most sarcastic comic ive ever read.”#“I don't think this is the funniest thing ever on accident. I think these were jokes. This comedy is sublime.”#genuinely they hold up SO well. they're fucking delightful.#high camp.#my writing #my asks

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pastelwitchling · 6 months ago

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The Missteps of Bridgerton Season 3

I love Bridgerton, I love Polin, and I enjoyed the first half of the season fine... but as someone who'd started watching Bridgerton only because of Polin, who'd read the book, and who had been looking forward to this particular season from the very beginning, I have to admit that I was a little disappointed by what we got. Not because it wasn't good, but because it wasn't as amazing as it could've been.

And no, I will not be tagging this as 'anti.' I've gone through the anti tag, and it's some very vile bull from people who genuinely hate the show or hate the characters (or hate other fans), and I love them. I just have some criticism of a few choices made.

So. If you can't handle any critique to the show at all, then please don't read the rest of this. Otherwise, grab some tea and a snack because I have quite a few thoughts.

I don't even know where to start.

I think the most frustrating thing for me in the beginning was how many other plotlines they tried to shove into this season. I don't want to sound mean, but I don't care about Will and Alice's business, I don't care about Benedict's boring relationship with another dArInG wOmAn WhO dEfIeS sOcIeTy'S eXpEcTaTiOnS (more on that later), I don't care about Cressida's redemption.

In fact, let's start with her. This was such a bad fucking idea. Not the redemption itself, though I don't know why some storytellers think there are no unlikable people in the world, why every woman especially has to be redeemed and forgiven. Some are just awful, they exist, it happens. It's okay to have scenes of our characters just reacting to these people and navigating kindness and forgiveness in spite of them. But anyway, working on Cressida's redemption in this kind of story doesn't freaking work. Why? Because we've seen this character put Penelope through endless shit already, and her season is not the season to work on her bully's redemption. Because Penelope already lost her best friend to this girl, and trying to redeem her now isolates Penelope even more, because instead of Eloise getting to properly realize how much she's lost in giving up Penelope as a friend, we're getting her genuinely bonding and getting closer to someone else. Most importantly, redeeming Cressida now doesn't fucking work because you have her and Penelope competing for the affections of the same guy.

You can't pit the girl we want to see win and root for against her bully for the affections of a man, and try to make us sympathetic for the bully. Are we not supposed to want Penelope to get him? Are we not supposed to root for Penelope? I get the idea of complex characters and relationships, but for the love of the gods, Penelope has been crapped on over and over and over in this series. I don't know about anybody else, but I got so excited when I saw her with Lord Debling in the promos because I thought, "Finally! We're going to see Penelope actually be pursued and cherished by someone else!" And instead? We have her embarrassing herself in cringey and awkward conversations against the bully we're also supposed to sympathize with? This was the show's chance to finally give Penelope someone who values her, but oh no, we have to show how tough things are for Cressida, so we have to make her actual competition who actually connects to Debling as well. So which is it, writers? Are we supposed to root for Penelope or Cressida? When Penelope wins, which is already unfair because she's had to bust her butt to get this guy so it's always her in pursuit, how are we supposed to be happy for her when Cressida is in the corner all sad?

Don't get me wrong, when Cressida chose not to gossip about Penelope at the ball, I was really touched. But the problem in trying to redeem her is that it works, which then creates a whole other problem when her and our heroine are then competing for the same guy!

Speaking of that guy; Lord Debling. I'm conflicted on him because I like how much he comes to learn about Penelope (arguably more than Colin does, but we'll get into that later), and I like how genuinely kind he is. But I hated seeing Penelope have to embarrass herself in front of him. I hated that we had to watch this girl who already feels like less than everyone else not even properly get this guy's attention for half the time we know him. Why did the writers think that would be fun to watch? I thought a majority of the time with him would be spent with Colin's jealousy, but even in those brief moments when Colin was jealous, it was from a distance, and we knew that in reality, those conversations Penelope was having with Debling were awkward and kind of degrading to her character.

Which brings me to my biggest pet peeve in this whole thing. The changes made to Penelope herself. Look. I'm not a stickler for accurate adaptations, okay? I don't care if the adaptation matches the source material so long as it's entertaining, which is why I enjoy the Percy Jackson movies more than the actual show. How I see it, we get two different, very fun and likable versions of a beloved story. So I didn't come into this season hoping it would be like the book, I just hoped it would be a good time. However...

Something I did appreciate in the book, and in the past two Bridgerton seasons, was Penelope's wisdom. She was hopeful with Colin, but realistic. She knew she would probably never be with him, but she was determined to be happy anyway. Lady Danbury even calls her something along the lines of the cleverest person in the room, and that's why she takes such a liking to her. Penelope is supposed to be clever, witty, amusing, and wise enough to know that even if she may not get everything she wants, she has her best friend and a guide in Lady Danbury and the small joys of being alongside the Bridgertons, and that was enough for her. Colin saw her for that wisdom and wit, saw the love and joy and pride she had in her work, saw that her priorities were the people she loved and the craft she'd perfected, and fell in love with her for it.

Here? She's the butt of every joke, she's a subject of mockery and dismissals, she's someone to be pitied, not appreciated. Yes, she was a wallflower in the book too, but she had at least a few supporting figures who she admired and helped her be happy where she was. I don't care SO much that they switched the scene of him finding out she's Whistledown, so much as the fact that they changed the meaning behind it. Her and Colin honestly spent so little time together because the show was trying to shoehorn in all these other plots, and so when he suddenly decides he's going to stop her marriage, it feels like he just does it because he's horny! In the book, he's impressed with the strong, talented, and passionate woman she is. In the show, I technically know that he wants to be married to his best friend, but the scenes I was most looking forward to with Colin and Penelope properly talking more and getting to really know each other aren't even there, so based off what friendly interaction had he suddenly learned to see her differently?

Finding out she was Whistledown was a shock to him, and it pushed him over the edge of his feelings for her. Not to mention, him finding out she was Whistledown told him so much about her as a person. Really think about it; what does Colin Bridgerton in the show know about Penelope? Nothing! Lord Debling knows more about her interests and what she enjoys better than Colin does! Knowing about Whistledown also gave him access to a secret part of her that no one else was privy to! Taking that away means that when they get married, Penelope knows everything about Colin and his travels and what he enjoys, and he knows next to NOTHING about her! So we spent the season with her being a joke to everyone, her having to compete for a guy and fail for a good long conversation, and then her ending up in a relationship with a guy who never bothered to get to know her? Fun.

In fact, why don't we talk a little more about Colin, too. Um. What the fuck was he writing? I don't care that it's sexual, but him describing Greek beaches and Scottish pubs in the book and interactions he's had with people shows exactly how grown he really is without him even knowing it. In the book, Colin hated being known for nothing but his charm. He even resented it and turned bitter when Penelope brought it up! He wanted to be more than that, he wanted to have a real purpose and be taken seriously and even be perceived more like Anthony. Writing about the landscapes he'd seen on his travels and his interactions showed that he wasn't just travelling to sleep his way through Europe, but that he was actually learning about new cultures and experiencing new worlds and lands. Here? He's just writing smut! In itself, it would be fine, except that he CLEARLY had a problem not having a purpose in his conversation with Anthony and Benedict and when Penelope praised his writing, so he does want the same thing Book Colin does, except... doesn't just writing erotica completely undermine his whole thing of wanting to be known as more than a charming flirt??

Not to mention, Book Colin ends up publishing his travel journals, so how's this version going to do that? You can tell us he's doing it at the end, but it will ring hollow because we all saw what he's been writing, so if they try to divert at the end to Book Colin's ending, it won't make any sense when we've already heard what he's written. In that time period, how the hell is he going to publish that? AND Book Colin ends up giving his stuff to Penelope to read once they're married because he wants her opinion on it! How the hell is that going to work, giving your wife your erotica with other women to test read? I know it could be done, but the charm of the book version is then gone because it feels like you've reduced a cultured man to a rake who just wants to gloat about how many foreign women he'd gotten to sleep with. Doesn't even that then undermine the whole flirty act he put on in the first episode when even Lady Whistledown could tell he was just pretending to be someone he wasn't??

I'm so tired, so I'm going to end this with a few final notes:

Why does arguably the most charming Bridgerton brother, Benedict, always get the most BORING storyline? I hate the woman he's with, there's absolutely nothing original or charming about her, and I am SICK TO DEATH of these so-called "quirky, strong women who don't care what anybody else says because they're edgy like that," it's just so cliched, and I need that archetype to die already. I thought they were going to do something with the fact that she's clearly a lot older than him, but they don't address it at all, so there goes that interesting concept.

Francesca's fickleness was getting on my last nerve, and I was so bored with her storyline until she met that guy. Their relationship is a cute and unique one, but before he shows up, nothing of what she wants is clear. She doesn't mind meeting a guy, but the second someone actually tries speaking to her, she backs off. She wants to talk about music, but when someone tries to speak to her about music, she backs off. I just couldn't get a reading on what she wanted.

I really don't care at all about Will and Alice's business. It's the same storyline every freaking season.

Eloise's whole "It's not nice when Whistledown writes about you, is it?" is very stupid because Lady Whistledown has written plenty about Penelope's family before that point (and in the book, about Penelope herself). You can't have Colin acknowledging that Whistledown outed Marina in the first episode, and then have Eloise forget that Penelope threw her own family name under the bus to protect Colin.

The carriage scene, I'm sorry, was cringey and came a little bit out of nowhere. And I really didn't like that Colin was backing away until, again, Penelope put herself forward. She's always the pursuer, and I'd hoped for something different this season. I also didn't like that she had to be dumped first. Like, yeah, let's really not give her a single break until Colin deems it time to actually do something for her.

That's all I've got that I can think of, at least in terms of negative criticism. I'm sure more will come to me later, but this was the big stuff. And I don't want to hear anything about, "But Rin, the season's not done yet!" Yeah, but half of it is. No matter what happens in the last four episodes, this was how they started. I guess when the cast said it was their most graphic season so far, they meant the most graphic for everyone but the main couple, and isn't that what you wanted to see?

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