#I don’t think you can have a worse day | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bookmark-extraordinaire · 4 months ago

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I recently had a conversation with a friend that made me realise that (maybe) people might not know that the Italian mafia still exists and actively operates all over Italy. Like, the general international public has this old-timey idea of the mafia that stops at the 1950s, with Al Capone, seedy bars, car chases with tommy guns etc. etc. or at least that seems to be the case for the people who don’t live in Europe, or otherwise close to Italy.

So, I made this poll. DISCLAIMER: this poll is NOT so i could judge people in any way. I can’t really fault anyone for not knowing about a problem so tied to Italian soil and culture, I was just curious.

NOTE: I’m not making a distinction between the actual Mafia, Camorra, Ndrangheta etc. etc. just pretend that all Italian organized crime is one big thing for the sake of this poll.

#this was also prompted by the miriad of Mafia AUs I see everywhere online #not that there’s anything wrong with them! They can be really cool #the aesthetic can be awesome and it can be fun to play with a plot revolving around organized crime #I just need people to keep in mind that the Mafia is still very real and it still kills people to this very day #I don’t care if you watch the Sopranos every day or know the Godfather by heart #hell you can have a poster of Al Capone in your bedroom for all I care #just… idk remember this is real. it’s not just smoky bars and the aesthetic and ‘I’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse’#these people kill. the noble mafioso that protects the less fortunate is just a myth. these people have no morals.#countless people - good people - have been killed by mafiosi bc they tried to expose them #I don’t mind if you enjoy the old-times aesthetic but PLEASE do so with the knowledge that it’s just fantasy #because the reality is much worse #There was a news case some years ago of a Mafia boss hiring a hitman from prison to get his own daughter killed #because she exposed him and landed him in jail #so any perceived ‘nobility’ these people might have in the eyes of the international public it’s just a fantasy #idk this is getting long. i don’t want people to think they can never enjoy a mafia AU ever again. I’ll stop now #polls #my polls #tumblr polls #poll #tumblr poll #roba italiana #Italian tumblr

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kavehater · 5 months ago

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I am actually so sick of my tl on twt being flooded by complaints like be so freaking for real if you hate the game just leave stop playing it I promise it’s okay

#WAAAWAAAWAAA THEY DONT HAVE LATINO VAS #LISTEN alhaitham had a half Palestinian VA yk what he did ? BUTCHER EVERY ARAB NAME and so did everyone else #there’s other Arab vas and they too butchered their names. I hate it too #them vas being of the race the natlan characters are will NOT fix that problem ok because they can white wash the pronounciation like crazy #and yk what it’s lowkey WORSE if it’s an Arab va cause then everyone thinks that’s how you pronounce that name #when in reality it sounds as atrocious as nails on chalkboards BE FR #SMHHHHH #and it’s a new complaint every freaking day like what the heck #first it’s skin colour second it’s imaginary complaints like the vas nationality PICK A STRUGGLE #if you truly hated the game you would’ve quit. outright you would’ve quit #but the reason you don’t quit is cause the issues you claim to care so deeply about are things #you do not care ENOUGH about and hoyo has you wrapped around #their pinkies so if you’re gonna complain; then complain properly and QUIT THE GAME #I am so sick of everyone complaining and polluting the atmosphere #like yall can I say something controversial? when it was sumeru i genuinely do not care enough because it is not that bad #for the level of rep we are getting sure there’s some mistakes but if you’re gonna #sit here and whine about everything you would NEVER be satisfied #sure the inaccuracies are annoying BUT ITS ONLY MILDLY SO #now pls like … if you truly are a justice warrior quit the game alr and prove you care about these #“major issues” if I as a swana person who IS disappointed in some aspects of sumeru yet it is not that atrocious as you all claim it to be #then I think you natlan folks whining like the trumpet of the day of judgement has been blown should really pipe down a tad bit #dora daily

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patron-saint-of-lesbeans · 27 days ago

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I go into a video call expecting to just get information about a ‘come and see’ retreat and I end up having to speedrun coming out to a strange religious person for the third time in like two weeks.

#tower of babble #catholic #christianity #lgbt #side b #previous coming out this month has been the new spiritual director and the EI coorespondent I meet with also next week #I legit didn’t think it was gonna be a ‘Why are you attracted to religious life and are you looking at other orders?’ kinda meeting #I just wanted to know the days and times because they weren’t on the webbedsite 😭#it’s fine. leading with the ‘finding where I fit in any religious community is complicated because I’m gay’ I think is better than wasting #both our time if I’m not meant to be there. but also. ough.#it’s very clear sometimes I’m the only/first queer side b Catholic these people have ever met #so I have to do side b 101 + here’s My Story + it’s fine if you don’t wanna call me back! god bless! spiel.#this sister is the youngest of all the vocation directors I’ve spoken to so ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯ maybe that’s better maybe that’s worse.#I’ll find out next week if I can come to the retreat I guess ??? that was a little odd I thought it was a sign up and come kinda thing #not a ‘I’ll pray on this and decide for you’ kinda invitation.#edit: ALSJEBDKSEBSKEJA. I TYPW TOO DAMN FAST FOR MY BRAIN. TY ANON FOR POINTING THAT KHT

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clambuoyance · 1 year ago

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I’ve never been so obsessed with a character so bad that I literally can’t do anything else I’m like the squidward meme watching SpongeBob frolic outside the window stretching a hand out to all the pretty paintings and animations and comics I see in my head but being unable to feel any motivation for it . If only i could use the energy spent to create 20 kon doodles to sit down and concentrate on a single finished full piece I used to be able to make like 5 page comics what happened to me

#sighs yes before anyone says anything IK it’s probably adhd related 😭#BUT ITS GOTTEN SO BAD I CAN FEEL THE DIFFERENCE IN MY BRAIN HOW DID IT GET WORSE #it’s probably a mix of burnout too but I don’t get tired of drawing ?#it feels like when u get dizzy or change glasses or so #and it’s either everything is wayyy too in focus and you can see literally everything clearly that it hurts ur brain #which doesn’t help given how saturated w information the world is always #and simultaneously somehow everything is blurry or out of focus and I physically have to strain myself to hone in on one thing #I JUST WANNA READ COMICS AND FINISH A DRAWING AND HANDLE WORK AND SCHOOL AND TALK TO MY FRIENDS #ALL IN OME DAY #BUT MY BRAIN IS LIKE. TODAY IS ONLY FOR COMICS. YOU CANT DO ANYTHING ESLE #😫🫶 I’m deleting this later I’m just ranting LMAO #I’m highschool it’s crazy bc I did okay and then honestly i just think my ability to concentrate has deteriorated as the years have gone by #free me!!!#either way I want to lessen my social media and just pick One bc girl I have an Instagram a tumblr and a twitter this is horrible for me .#honestly I’ll probably pick instagram and just post on tumblr when I have art #I already do that #I mean when I have Good art.#IM RAMBLING IDK

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chibishortdeath · 5 months ago

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Great googley moogley it’s all going to shit! Every day becomes exponentially more terrifying!

And all perfectly timed to just right at the start of what’s supposed to be my adult life where I get my shit together and be useful and productive!

#we’re cooked #we’re doomed #idk the end is nigh or whatever god damn #I just wanna be able to live in my own house and draw a guy sometimes without the ever present threat of the horrors is that too much #apparently yeah cause houses aren’t achievable anymore but man #m a n #especially if you didn’t/couldn’t go to college and aren’t capable of working most jobs #doesn’t help there’s the chance some part of my existence might be suddenly illegal or extremely dangerous yippie!#the options are literally 1. people die 2. people die what the hell do you even do man #how the fuck is this the election I’m gonna get forced to be a part of we’re living in hell #and nobody around me believes it’ll get bad yay great oh so wonderful #I can’t wait to lose rights and cause millions of deaths regardless of who gets chosen #I think one of these days I’m literally just gonna die of stress #it’ll either be a stroke or a heart attack or cancer or uh well ya know #we’re fucked #we’re screwed #I wanna have some kind of an actually visible break down but ive suppressed everything so much that I don’t outwardly emote much anymore :)#and the constantly dissociating thing too I guess #if you ever think ‘oh yeah I can just think of guy in a situation that’s so cool’ don’t it’s a trap—#although tbh this would be significantly worse without it so uh law of equivalent exchange I guess #fuck fuck fuck anyway #not putting this in the main tags #definitely deleting this later #if anyone in my house got any hints that I may or may not have different opinions than them well uh I’m financially dependent on them so um #literally wouldn’t have anywhere to go if anything happened #oh we’re really in it now Simon #hell world #there’s like what 7 genocides going on too I hate everything I hate everything I hate everything #I can’t do anything to help anyone either cause I don’t have a job and I could get kicked out or treated badly at home for it #not that anyone thinks very highly of me at home anyway I am kinda family disappointment number 2 I pretty sure

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white-weasel · 6 months ago

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The way final 4 fire making sucks is two-fold. The concept as a whole just bleh and takes away a vote for a round in a game all about voting people out. However, fire became an even worse thing after Chris Underwood gave up immunity and put himself in fire and contestants have misunderstood the purpose of the move and decided winning in fire = winning the game ever since

#chris underwood had to put himself in fire BECAUSE HE WAS LITERALLY VOTED OUT IN DAY 3 AND THUS HAD ALMOST NO GAME TO POINT TO #man literally was not actively in the main game for at least like 20+ days!!!#normal season contestants don’t have that excuse. y’all have BEEN here for 25 days. if you don’t have a game to point to #and you think you need to win fire for something showy to win the game THEN YOU SHOULDNT WIN THE GAME AT ALL #and what’s worse is jurors will be like ‘uhhhh why didn’t you just put yourself in fire hm?’#like that person already showed their physical prowess in the challenge! in 99% of scenarios giving up your guaranteed spot in final 3 #is dumb as rocks. like I said Chris Underwood is a special case and should NOT be the standard #or even just people getting put in fire and winning. I get it can be impressive #but like just making one fire should not get you a million dollars #survivor 46 #survivor

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blue-eli · 7 months ago

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Ink October day twenty-nine: Wilder

To bewilder; to perplex.

Comparative form of wild: more wild.

#tears of the kingdom #loz totk #totk #the legend of zelda #legend of zelda #legend of zelda tears of the kingdom #totk link #blue boi draws #ink october 2023 #ink October 2023 day 29 #I have extremely conflicted feelings about this game that I think boil down to: I don’t dislike it but it did disappoint me #like there are a lot of things about it but the things I dislike are loud in a way that makes them hard to ignore #there are also a lot of tiny nitpicking things I dislike about it that I feel bad about because they are probably insignificant or cases of #people having different taste in things. like the bombs I miss my remote destination bombs :( but also the mechanics that replace them are #really fun. I actually think most of the mechanics and puzzles are really good (I probably have more fun in Zonai shrines then sheikah #on average) I also think expanding to the sky and underground was really smart and good. I think most of my issues are with the story #they did Zelda so dirty. sooooooo dirty. the three good things they did with her are 1 gave her good parental figures 2 cut her hair #3 tURNED HER INTO A FUCKING DRAGON. A WYRM. A CREATURE.#that’s probably my favourite main story thing besides maybe the companions and also Tulin #I love Teba the fact that his son is featured heavily and is done so good in this game is amazing.#also revali being basically never mentioned was really good. fuck you revali #love the Zonai HATE them founding Hyrule (or well rauru)#love the designs dragon goat people love good dad to Zelda the king can go fuck himself #the thing about me is I hate colonial the divine right of kings and monarchies so much. the kingdom of Hyrule stinks of these things #botw to me was in part a story of a monarchy failing. the king and the system failed Zelda failed Link and failed their kingdom.#I knew that more then likely they would be rebuilding the kingdom in the sequel but oh my gods does the addition of the politics of Hyrules #founding make it worse. there are so many people who have explained in detail this but right now my brain is just… GAH #*banging my head against the wall* can we PLEASE acknowledge the flaws of the Hylian royalty I’m not even asking for them to be discrowned #at this point I just want anything that isn’t this glorifying shit. and it sucks because I like Sonia!!! I like Minaru!!!#ran out of tags but I need you to know I am fucking vibrating about this

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butnotbubblegum · 4 months ago

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using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, read at your own risk.

#but jesus christ coming back home while already knee deep in a suicidal episode was an awful idea #like i was maybe on the verge of improving and then i came back to all of this family bullshit #and the place as well like it’s so. i don’t want to say isolated necessarily. but so much it’s own little bubble #and i spent the last eight or nine years i lived here depressed and the last six suicidal #and being back here feels like the actual place is telling me to die #and i don’t think it helps that every place i go i know or know of someone who successfully committed suicide #like. oh this person drowned themself here. or that person hung themself in these woods. or several people jumped off the side of this clif #like. it all feels like reminders of my failures. and it’s like. cmon. wouldn’t it be easy. all you need to do is jump. is slit your throat #is find a decent piece of rope. idk. but everything is so much and i just want it to stop and it feels like the ground itself #is giving me a way to do it.#i genuinely feel like i’m like 16 or 17 again. and everything that isn’t within these hills #feels like a haze and not actually real. like the concept of buxton doesn’t actually exist and my friends do not actually exist and nothing #actually exists except the place i’m in and my family and the pub #i think going back to work at the pub was a mistake; i think it’s making this worse. especially because it’s henry’s dad’s local #and where henry’s wake was. and nothing there has changed at all. it’s like the whole last year never happened.#and i only need to get through two more days but it feels like an impossible task and i keep thinking being back in york will fix me but id #if that even true like. i was suicidal before i left. and it’s going to be intense and stressful and then i have to leave again.#come back here and do three full weeks of this all over again. i haven’t even managed two yet this time around. and i feel like #such a failure and such a drain on my friends (and on one in particular) because it just #is so much and has been so long and everything is complicated and awful and i think if i hadn’t come back i’d be in a normal mental state #by now. that’s the worst fucking part. and also the whole thing of i know how to be suicidal here. i know how to not give a shit about #living here. i know how to do that. but ive never had to try before. like im trying to improve and im trying to hold on and hold off the #urges to kill myself or self harm or whatever because i said i would and because i KNOW it can be better than this and bc i love my friends #and they love me and i don’t want to upset them or make them anxious or anything like that and kat made me promise to try and im trying so #fucking hard and it feels like it’s not even worth the effort because it’s so much effort and everything is so overwhelming and awful and i #hate the way my family interacts and i just want everything to stop and idc if suicide is the cowards way out or selfish or whatever #bullshit people say it feels like the only option i can actually withstand because everything is so much pain and so much effort and so muc #everything and i can’t deal with it anymore. and also i forgot just how much i have to fucking mask in front of my parents and especially m #father and it’s so exhausting and i can’t sleep and there’s so much yelling and i just need it all to stop #i’ve had major breakdowns the last 3 nights about wanting to die so much & trying so hard to not let myself & idk how much longer i can tak

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babyfairy · 9 months ago

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it takes about 5 seconds of thinking about my personal life before i start to cry now i think that’s really cool and good. fun too

#said literally 3 words earlier to my mom and started to cry so i stopped immediately like i’m so tired dude.#i don’t want to think about any of it anymore. i wish i could just go on autopilot. i’m so mentally checked out #from everything and everyone. i feel like i’ve given up on almost everything i enjoy doing #i just work go home watch tv sleep and then repeat it all over and over. i can’t be still. i can’t live in the moment anymore really even #because that means i have to be present and absorb what’s actually going on around me. all the change #i feel like i’m fading into the background more and more every day #i don’t even care either it’s just kind of like …? good lol #the more i fight my grief the worse it gets #if i can outrun it until my time here is up then that’s fine. i’m sure i won’t but. lol #anyway if you read all this i’m fine i just don’t really like being alive it’s whack imo nothing brings me joy long term #it’s all fleeting. mostly i just feel blank and disconnected #and that’s it. and tired lol

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licnheartedd · 8 months ago

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i love you btw. just in case you forgot. the world is so full of love and you deserve all of it

#this is aimed at everyone who reads it #i love you #i love you i love you i love you #you are important and needed and special #even on the days you don’t think so #especially on those days actually #and being sad or depressed or struggling is not a moral failing #you are not a worse person for having bad days #you are just a person #and that is the best thing you can be #in my opinion at least

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quietwingsinthesky · 9 months ago

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there’s a progression in there, somewhere, of even going from ‘the master might kill me any day now :(‘ to ‘the master is going to kill me :) she’s not going to let someone else do it after all this time’

#i wouldn’t call it hubris exactly. more like this pretty secure surity that that’s how they’re going to die.#and to them that makes sense. they chose this. they keep choosing it after the doctor offers them a way out.#because this is. they understand this. and they feel safe in the reprieve before their death.#how do you control death? choose who kills you. the last defense of a prey animal.#something something dark mirror to clara’s ‘i am owed’ speech for even is if this ever. doesn’t work out the way they thought it would.#clara tried to threaten the doctor so that he’d reverse death for her. even would turn on the master if she tried to spare them.#i am owed better. i am owed the death you promised… i am owed the knowledge that you don’t care enough to save me… you know. something like #that.#even is. kind of. meant to mirror the doctor’s companions at the time. they are a martha who can’t leave him. they are a donna who has to #remember and never speak about everything they know. they are clara if during deep breath clara reached back and truly didn’t expect. truly #hoped. that no one would take her hand. because if they can be certain it will happen they can know never to reach again.#jesus christ. go to therapy boy. you have so many trust issues.#but that’s why they’re Like That with the master because at the end of the day. who is easier to rely on? the guy who comes in to put out #fires but only sometimes. or the guy who. really really fucking likes starting fires.#better to get burned hoping someone is coming or get burned knowing that’s what would happen. and even. chooses the latter.#AND ALL OF THIS. for me to say thats why i cant actually let the master ever kill them.#i think she needs to do something worse to even. i think she needs to abandon them.#and that will either set them free to go have healthy normal relationships or. lets be honest much more likely. completely fucking break #them. which would be fun :) for me.#dw oc

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kavehater · 4 months ago

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Chappel Roan saying she’s sad she’s demisexual and then there’s me being aroace as a whole like don’t you think I’m even more sad 😭

#not saying she’s not allowed to feel sad at all #just makes me think about myself LOL #I hate being aroace it’s like everyone’s part of a secret club I will never be a part of #and that people don’t tend to understand and if they do they never uphold that fact #like I actually have thrown up before from the concept of being in a relationship because it’s horrifying #and disgusting to me in a practical sense #like I don’t want to throw up every time I start thinking about those things I just want to be normal #and not panic like a relationship sounds like even worse than a death sentence #ppl think aroace is cute and problem free but it’s literally so uncomfortable and inconvenient when you’re in a world which a) doesn’t #understand wth aroace is b) doesn’t respect it at all c) has shit povs on what friendship is and how it can be more fulfilling than somethin #and d) how badly it impacts some ;-; like ik it sounds easy but try telling yourself omg I want to have a forever bestie #but then said forever bestie will never end up truly putting you first because they’d have a partner who will be their number one #and as usual you won’t even be second place you will be last like always #because I’ve noticed that the moment ppl get a partner suddenly they become their forever bestie role and then I can’t have that cause it #freaks me out and disgusts me all at once so I’m literally just cursed with forever feeling lonely and not meaning anywhere near as much to #someone who you wish could even look your way the way you do to them …#honestly by the day these reminders make me feel more and more aplatonic but it’ll simultaneously always feel like a hole in my heart #because apparently being aroace is like being some weird person and some freak #and not in the 𝒻𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓀𝓎 type of connotation LMAO I mean just plain freak #and then that loneliness will always accumulate and accumulate and accumulate until I physically cannot handle it anymore or I take matters #into my own hands and just off with her head to myself LMAO #dora daily #and that is why despite aroace being cool to me it’s just not placed in an environement which makes it cool #as those assholes tend to say oh meh meh meh you never struggled girl … we’re in the 21st century every person in the lgbt community is #living the life dating who they want and being with who they want #but allegedly it is but a crime I can’t like anyone and that nobody fucking listens to me when I say I have an attraction deficit #and that they take it upon their hands to define what I’m attracted to or head canon me as whatever they are #I swear I’m not even fucking worth that shit just leave me alone 😭#I promise like if I was with somebody they will regret the day they were born by being with me LOL I am not all that in fact me being aroace #is saving them from torture ☠️ anyways ! rant over :3

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jenny-dreadful · 1 month ago

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#like. i have a lot of shit wrong with me and i think generally an accurate idea of that stuff #i get that #but i’m always alone. all day all the time i’m just. alone #other people are also flawed. without being always alone #in fact Every one of the biggest assholes i know has person(s) that’s intentionally and voluntarily merged intimate daily lives w them #so like. of all my known problems #i still don’t understand which is the searing neon red flag #that MUST be visible and obvious to everybody else #what about me is so bad? what about me is so much shittisr and worse to be around than other people #or is it something missing? something other people have and i don’t? because i don’t know what that is either #there’s a point where a generally positive opinion of yourself breaks down p rapidly #and that’s when you realize for just how long #and by how many people #you’ve been passed up #like you can think you’re great all you want #and that’s generally important. and can help bridge lonely gaps here and there #but you go a certain length of time where you can’t seem to get anybody else to agree that you’re #worth anybody else’s time or care in a serious and real way #and it’s like oh okay well. so in the real world i’m not worth anything then. that’s what that means #you know. like. me deciding i Am Good is arbitrary and unfounded n doesn’t mean anything #shrugggggggggggg

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iliveinprocrasti-nationn · 8 months ago

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one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else

#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more #I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s #the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything #that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da #lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how #get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to #and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not #be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much #of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in #bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it #into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it #but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted #any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself #not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha #usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day #because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere #I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s #just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway #this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this #bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school #vent tw #yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely #disability #chronically ill #i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho #i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to #anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse #I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours #I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework

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danielnelsen · 9 months ago

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there’s so much i wanna do this week/month/etc but i’m just too sick, i have no energy, i can’t sleep, i’m constantly nauseous and headachey and on the verge of a migraine, i’m stressed and irritable and impatient and panicky…….how tf did i survive nearly 5 years of high school untreated if i can’t even manage this when i don’t have any major obligations rn

#at least i finally got my meds so hopefully i feel a little better soon #although i’m now on 20 pills per day which is Just Great #whenever i’m in remission it’s nice to just. forget sometimes that this can happen at any time #kinda wish i had the typical kinda chronic illness that people talk about with ‘flares’#or at least triggers that i can plan around #the other times have all had an easily identifiable stressor tho tbf. idk what caused this one #the first time was whooping cough and the next few were all very major life stressors like my cat dying right after i started uni #and i think also towards the end of my honours thesis?#but this…….there’s no major stress right now. nothing wildly beyond normal #i’m a little concerned about my joints tho. they’ve been so much worse than normal the last few months #so i’m kinda worried i’m developing rheumatoid arthritis (also an autoimmune disease and it runs in the family specifically)#so if that’s happening then it could set my thyroid off? probably should get to the doctor at some point #obv i’m seeing my endo for thyroid stuff. but i should see my gp and get her to run all the autoimmune blood tests again #i’ve done that before but it’s been a few years and my ankles and knees are so painful i can’t even walk properly a lot of the time #BUT I JUST WANNA DO THINGS I ENJOY AND I CANT AND I WILL CONTINUE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT #‘oh you’re so lucky you don’t have as many obligations because you’re chronically ill’ ha ha ha please swap lives with me immediately #personal #but seriously. i wasn’t diagnosed until i was nearly 17 and we can trace it back to whooping cough when i was 12 #so it was the last half of year 6 and then all of years 7-10 and the start of year 11 of just being. uh. ‘very lazy and complaining a lot’#and TEACHERS joking about me and my sister (who was dealing with an arguably more severe undiagnosed disease) missing so many classes #wow so funny pdhpe teacher who’s supposed to be teaching is about health #and the thing with being a mentally ill teenager is that hyperthyroidism can just look like a very severe anxiety disorder #so i didn’t go to the dr until i was too sick to go to school at all. and luckily had a good dr who did a blood test #i’m just rambling now because i can’t sleep and i don’t wanna lie here doing nothing #might go play pvz or something. that’s been keeping me entertained

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its-still-shrub · 1 day ago

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Following new ppl is scary.

Like hi, I like your blog and what you post. Please don’t think I’m creepy…

#I think I’m one of those ppl who does better with at least hearing ppls tone when they speak #reading texts and trying to catch what vibe they’re throwing out cans be confusing to me…#like I don’t do better in person!#but like voice notes really should be a thing #because then you could hear how scared I am when I’m like #oh hey hi I’m I liked a lot of what you posted and think you’re pretty so I followed you ok have a good day bye #voice shaking the whole time #it would just be easier for me #worse #but my brain would shut up #got off track there #anywhoo #hi😇#shrub #dont be a dick

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