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#I don’t think I’m skilled enough for it
foldingfittedsheets · 24 hours
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A basic human skill that people usually lock down around the age of three or four is impulse control. To conceptualize an action and it’s consequences before taking it. Maybe considering how that action affects other people. We then refine it through most of our childhood.
When I was a teenager my hold on this ability became… tenuous. I became a volatile and dangerous creature.
It’s probably not unique to me, but I had a perfect storm in terms of mental upsets. I had just mastered enough basic social skills, so I finally had a strong group of friends when my dad suddenly needed to move for work. Ripped away from my support network, blooming with hormones, I was dragged to Arizona. I was always a child of forests and mist and suddenly everything was hot, dry, and extremely pointy and aggressive.
Additionally to being abruptly transplanted I found myself an object of affection in a way I’d never been before. Lonely and desperate to make friends the only people who wanted to spend time with me had romantic designs. I just wanted to figure out my shit but I had a baby lesbian flirting with increasing aggression in art, a soft boy making heart eyes at me in biology, a senior nerd asking if I wanted to play Halo at his house and could he hold my hand?
Reader, I snapped. I didn’t want this romantic attention but I also didn’t want to be alone. My brain coped the only way it knew how, by simply cutting out decision making. Any action was the right action to take.
It started with the boy in biology. I’d stolen his pencil out of mischief and to my overwhelming fury instead of trying to steal it back he just softened his eyes and chucked me gently under my chin, a gesture so overtly sweet and romantic that I saw red.
I stabbed him with his own pencil.
I honestly and truly have no memory of it. It happened as fast as a snake striking and I was instantly filled with terrified remorse. Unfortunately that manifested as psychotic giggling.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t- I don’t know why- I’m so sorry!” I said, while hysterically laughing. I ended up having lodged some graphite in his palm and had to tweeze it out with my nails while apologizing furiously. (It’s very important to note here that he forgave me and we’re still friends)
That was weird, I thought. Why didn’t I think before I stabbed someone?
The next event was equally catastrophic, and I had even less reason to do it. In gym with two girls I was tentatively befriending, we were warming up running laps. I started racing one of them. At breakneck speed we were sprinting around the gym.
This time, there was a blip of thought before I fucked up. I should get the other girl! I have no idea why or what the plan was but I turned on a swivel and body checked the other girl. We both fell down in immense pain. I think that’s the moment I broke my tailbone. Her knees were horribly bruised and she looked at me in bewildered pain. “Why did you do that?!”
I had no idea. I apologized and helped her up, both of us hobbling like newborn horses, bruised and hurting.
By this time there’d been enough social upheavals that I was reduced to spending time with some girls I had nothing in common with and low key disliked. Sat at a table listening to this girl talk about how she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up I thought, You’d better put the cap on before you throw it.
I then chucked my empty water bottle directly at her face. It bounced off her forehead with a bop! that would have made a sound mixer weep at its perfection.
All eyes turned to me is startlement. I stared back at her, stunned by my own action, just as confused as everyone else at the table as to why I’d done that. One of the girls to my right said, “Were you trying to hit that fly?”
“Yes!” I lied, “I’m sorry, I thought I could hit the fly!”
Everyone laughed at my antics and I joined in rather than admit I had just chucked something at her for no reason.
Things did start to improve after that. I solidified a friendship with the girl I’d raced (who I developed a massive crush on and ten years later would go on to date). My outbursts turned more whimsical rather than aggressive. Like accosting a girl leaving the cafeteria to look deeply into her eyes and say with great compassion, “It’s going to be alright.”
My new friend and I snuck into the van that delivered our cafeterias baked goods and lay giggling in the back. When I’d impulsively hopped in she’d joined me and made it a game.
After a year in Arizona I broke down crying to my mother, an act of great desperation, and we ended up moving back home. My impulse control returned to normal teenage levels and life resumed in a happier state of mind.
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Nights of Endless Love Part 26
A fic set in Vegas in 1971 at the start of Elvis' first residency that year, where he meets a Vegas showgirl who isn't interested. Smutty, fluffy, angsty drama.
To catch up with the other parts, go here. As always, thanks go to @vintagepresley for the idea in the first place and continued inspo! And many thanks to @eapep for her editing skills!
18 and over only.
Pairing: Elvis + OC - Mia, a Vegas showgirl
Wordcount: 3.3K ish
TW: Drug abuse, health issues, angry!Elvis, a little bit of violence, crying, oral (f receiving), then much fluff.
A/N: This is the final part! I fully sobbed when I finished writing this. It's been a real labour of love and I will miss Mia and Elvis and their little world. Not to say that we might not go back and see how they're doing from time to time, but for now this is the end of their story.
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“I’m so tired. Elvis this schedule is impossible.” Mia collapses down onto the sofa, still in her stage outfit. They’re more than half way through the stint in Tahoe, and she only has a two hour break before she’s due back on stage again. Things have got worse since she started going on with him to do a song or two in the middle of his set. 
“It’s not impossible. You just need one of these shots,” he looks over to Dr Nick. “Nick, give her a shot.”
Dr Nick moves warily over to Mia. She pulls a face and puts her hand out to stop him. “Dr Nick do not give her a shot. She has autonomy over her own body.”
Elvis is standing over the other side of the room, still in his jumpsuit, sodden with sweat. One of his legs is jiggling about and he's fiddling incessantly with one of his big rings. Two of the tell-tale signs that Nick had been in here giving him a shot before the second show. As if she didn’t know already.
“Well don’t blame me if you can’t hack it.”
Mia stands up, annoyed now. “If I can’t hack it? You’re the one taking enough pharmaceuticals to floor an elephant.”
Dr Nick moves from foot to foot awkwardly. Mia wasn’t often in the room when he was treating Elvis, but he’d already got the impression she wasn’t keen on all of the drugs. He isn’t keen on all of the drugs either, but Elvis will only find someone else if he stops prescribing. He’s never seen them fight before, and he would like to get out before it turns nasty. He knows Elvis has a temper.
Elvis starts moving towards her in that ominous way he has, his lip curling, blowing furious air out of his nose. “I need them. This is none of your damn business woman.”
“None of my business! I’m only living with you and engaged to marry you!”
“Well maybe you need to learn to do as you’re told.” He grabs one of her arms and starts trying to manoeuvre her towards Nick, who is looking quite alarmed by this point. Mia wriggles and tries to get him off her. She sees his other hand coming to grab her and aims a kick at one of his shins. “Ow!” He almost shrieks. She uses the opportunity to pull her arm free and then slaps him across the face for good measure.
“You are not the boss of me!” She screams.
“You come back here,” he hisses as she stands, panting in front of him. 
She thinks that she hasn’t actually gone anywhere and he could grab her from here if he really wanted to.
“I’m not having a damn shot, Elvis. I’m sick of seeing you take all this stuff. I’m sick of waking up in the night and checking if you’re still breathing. I’m sick of worrying about you all the time. I want you to rest,” she finds herself faltering, holding back tears. “I love you.”
He closes the gap between them, and for a moment she can’t tell if he’s going to kiss her or hit her. He pushes her the few steps back it takes to hit the wall, and then his mouth is on hers, his tongue pushing insistently into her mouth, his hands grabbing her arms and pressing them against the wall next to her head. Somewhere that sounds like a million miles away she hears the clunk of the door. Nick must’ve finally had enough.
“Baby I love you too,” he says, when he finally comes up for air. “I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you.”
He starts slowly unzipping her catsuit, kissing her newly exposed skin as he goes. He stops briefly to pay her nipples some attention, but it’s clear where he’s headed, as he presses kisses to her stomach and slides the zipper down all of the way to where it finishes between her legs. She gasps when he first licks her clit, firmly and repeatedly, looking down to see him on his knees in front of her, worshipfully. His tongue dips down lower, tasting her properly, his lips and chin slick with her juices. She whines, desperate for more contact.
“Put your leg on my shoulder baby,” he says, the words buzzing against her.
She does, feeling his fingers spreading her cunt so he can better access it, lapping at her, pushing his tongue inside. His thumb moves to rub her clit as he carries on licking, the fingers of his other hand digging into the skin of her thigh and ass. She moans, grabbing her breasts and rubbing her nipples. She’s so turned on even just at the sight of him kneeling in front of her like this, burying his face in her cunt, licking and sucking like his life depends on it.
He moves to suck on her clit now, looking up at her as he does it, his hair soaked with sweat from the show earlier and her arousal all over his face. He slides a finger inside her and curls it slightly, waiting to hear her reaction. She groans, feeling him hit that spot inside of her and wriggling to try and get more contact from his tongue.
“Hold my head Mimi. Do whatever you want with me.”
She shivers at the words. She loves it when he tells her to use him like this. 
“Another finger…please,” she just about manages.
He nods and slips a second finger inside her.
She reaches down and takes hold of his head, fingers digging into his damp hair. She starts to roll her hips so that her clit rubs against his tongue, holding onto him gently and then as the pleasure starts to build she finds herself gripping him desperately, pushing her cunt into his face, not really caring anymore if he can breathe. She’s so close now, all she can think of is reaching that high. As her orgasm washes over her she grips his head even more tightly, crying out and feeling tears falling down her cheeks. She shakes and cries, finally letting him go and sliding down the wall, somehow getting her leg off his shoulder and ending up sitting in a little pile at the bottom of it.
“Fuck, honey.” Elvis is beet red, and he’s taking great gasping breaths.
She looks over at him, and realises she might’ve actually been suffocating him. “Oh shit. Are you alright?”
“Honey. You’re crying.” 
Mia laughs, even though she’s still crying. “I’m crying, you’re nearly suffocated, this is all going great.”
He moves to try and kiss her and she holds her hands up in front of her face. “Ahh. Wash your face!”
He laughs and grabs her arms, pinning them to her sides. “No,” he replies, kissing her on the mouth. She can feel the slickness of his lips, covered in her juices, and taste herself on his tongue. “If you’re going to smother me the least you can do is kiss me afterwards.”
She laughs, and then he pulls her into his arms, leaning against the wall himself. “Baby why were you crying? I thought you were enjoying yourself.”
“I just felt overwhelmed. I love you so much and I really want this to work, but it’s just fucking exhausting. I’m sorry I nearly killed you.”
He chuckles into her ear. “It’s okay, I asked for it. In more ways than one. And I love it when you’re so uninhibited like that, especially all over my face.”
She squeals. It smells like sex and sweat all around her. They really need to shower before the next show.
He nuzzles her neck. “I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have got mad at you. You’re right, we can’t carry on like this. But I don’t know what else to do.”
***
They somehow finish the Tahoe commitment but tell Jerry and the Colonel that there’s no way they can keep up that level of work. It was what they’d suspected would happen, and although the Colonel has his views on how many shows Elvis and Mia should do, for once he keeps his mouth shut. Jerry has been a good influence on him from that perspective. He’s learning how to diversify, has even thought of taking on one or two more clients. Jerry suggests one show a night is more reasonable, tours could be longer but there would be more gaps between dates and fewer residencies. Mia and Elvis both agree, and leave the meeting somewhat relieved. 
Mia knows the amount of shows isn’t the only problem though, and so she decides to broach something with Elvis as she watches him rubbing his belly and grimacing.
“What do you think about checking yourself into a hospital?”
Elvis almost jumps. “What? There’s nothing wrong with me!”
Mia puts her hand on top of his. “You’re not in any pain just now?”
He sighs. “Okay, but… hospital?”
“Please. For me. I’ll stay in there with you. We can order in whatever food you want. But I think you need to go and get checked out, and… maybe you need to come off some of what you’ve been taking.” 
She’s very nervous about the last part of the sentence. He’s never taken interference in the drugs he takes very well in the past. She had thought she wouldn’t interfere in that part of his life, but the shows at Tahoe showed her that she had to. She watches his face twist into a variety of different expressions, as if he’s having a not-very-internal battle with himself. 
“You’ll stay with me the whole time? Even if they want to do things to me? Look for stuff? You’ll be there? You promise?” He’s starting to sound a little panicked, but it seems like the agreeable Elvis has won this time. 
“Yes. I won’t let them throw me out of the room. I’ll be there with you the whole time I promise.”
He takes a deep, shuddering breath. “Okay then.”
***
Mia keeps her word. They check into the hospital together and she’s there holding his hand as they do blood tests, check his blood pressure, put drops in his eyes. When they tell him he needs a colonoscopy he looks at her and she tells him it will be okay and she will hold his hands and talk to him the whole time. He nods like a frightened child but does whatever she says. They slowly take him off the complicated mixture of pharmaceuticals he’s been taking since he was in the army, working out exactly what he needs rather than what he wants. Mia stays up a lot of the nights, lying in the bed with him, stroking his hair and wiping his brow as he sweats and twists and turns uncomfortably in his sleep. With the best will in the world, his withdrawal is still horrible and he begs her to let him take something for it, crying in her arms. 
A week after they first got there, he’s sat up in bed as she lays dozing after another tumultuous night. 
“Hi there.” A voice Mia can’t quite place, deep and sonorous. She tries to ignore it, but Elvis’ response makes that impossible.
“Lawrence! It’s been so long!” 
Elvis is feeling good for the first time since he checked into the hospital, and seeing Larry has made him genuinely excited, dropping the book he was reading and sitting up properly in bed. All of this jostles Mia so much she sits up again with a groan. 
“How’re you doing, man?” Larry asks, sitting down on the armchair in the room. 
“Great. So much better. They’ve taken me off a lot of things and… I do feel good for a change, Larry. They’re bringing me all these fresh fruits and vegetables and Mia is helping me decide which ones I like.”
He looks over at Mia, whose hair is absolutely everywhere, eyes barely open, looking like she needs to sleep for a week. He strokes her face. “Baby, why don’t you go to the room across the hall and get some proper sleep?”
The hospital staff had reserved them another room in case Mia wanted to sleep somewhere separately sometimes, but she hasn’t left his side for the whole week. 
“You sure?” She replies, groggily. 
“Of course, Angel. Larry can keep me company for a while and you look like you need to sleep somewhere comfy.”
She nods and shuffles off across the corridor. 
“I hear you’re getting married?”
Elvis grins. “Yeah. When the divorce is finalised with Cilla, we certainly are.”
“I’m so pleased for you Elvis. Things really seem to be turning out well lately.”
Elvis is beaming. Things were turning out well. He has an idea to make them even better. “Say, you wanna be my best man?”
Larry is taken aback. They hadn’t been in touch much recently, a hair cut here and there and a few chats, but nothing like the intensity of their relationship previously. He’d been wondering if they were just drifting apart. 
“I’d be honoured!”
Elvis reaches across to shake the other man’s hand, firmly. “Wonderful. I’m sure Mia will be pleased too.”
***
Mia had never thought she’d be so nervous on her wedding day. What is there to be nervous about? Fluffing up the words? Tripping over her dress and falling on her face? Actually, both of those seem like pretty bad options. She smooths her dress down and looks at herself in the mirror. Life on the road hasn’t exactly stopped the ageing process. If anything, it’s accelerated it. She had her grey hairs dyed back to brown in readiness for today, there’s a lot of strong elastic holding her not-so-little belly in and a face full of make-up hides her tired eyes and wrinkles. But she finds somehow that she doesn’t mind so much any more. Elvis’ hair is still white and he is completely unapologetic about it. He gets his reading glasses out when he needs to and he ignores the jibes from the guys. They worship one another’s bodies, no matter whether they find wrinkles or extra fat there. Elvis is particularly delighted by the fact that she’s put on a little extra weight on her ass, kissing and kneading it at every opportunity. Every morning he tells her how beautiful she is, or sings Mia In The Morning, no matter how many times she hits him with a pillow and tells him to shut up. The tests at the hospital showed that he has a problem with his intestine that makes his belly swell from time to time, and Mia makes sure to show him how much she loves him whenever it happens. He’s given up trying to push her away when she pushes his shirt up and kisses him all over. In fact, he almost looks forward to it.
Mia smiles at her reflection. It had been one helluva year. When she’d started 1971, performing on that stage in the Tropicana, she had no idea things would turn out like this. That she’d be getting ready to marry one of the most famous men in the world. That she’d be so in love with him.
“You ready?” Amanda asks. Mia had to spend an entire drunken day catching her up on everything that had happened over the past couple of months, but she was the only person she wanted as her maid of honour. 
“As I’ll ever be.”
Her dad walks into the room, blinking back tears at how beautiful she looks in her dress. 
“Time to go, pumpkin?”
Mia nods and takes his arm. Elvis had encouraged her to get back in contact with her parents, so she’d invited them to the show when they visited her hometown. She was surprised when they came, and even more surprised how proud they were of her. She suspects it has something to do with Elvis, who put on the world’s biggest charm-offensive when he met them, and who of course they loved instantly. Her dad was over the moon when she asked him to give her away at the wedding. 
She can feel herself shaking as they walk slowly down the aisle to meet the man standing at the end of it. Elvis is shaking too, he’s asked Larry approximately 15 times already whether he still has the rings, and until he saw her for himself a few moments ago, he had completely convinced himself that Mia wasn’t coming. The walk is interminable for both of them, Elvis sweating and worrying about stuttering his vows and Mia concentrating on not falling over her own dress. When she finally gets there and they turn to face one another, holding each other’s hands tightly, they both let out shaky breaths. And then they realise what they’ve done and both giggle. It’s like the rest of the world completely disappears when they look at one another. Until, that is, the celebrant starts to speak. 
“In the presence of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, we have come together to witness the marriage of Elvis and Mia, to pray for God’s blessing on them, to share their joy and to celebrate their love.”
Despite their fears, the ceremony goes smoothly. Larry hands over the rings. No-one declares a reason they can’t get married, and neither of them mess up their vows. Elvis stutters a little but it just makes Mia love him more, if that were possible. They kiss passionately when they’re told they’re now man and wife, and little Lisa-Marie is the first person to start throwing confetti. Mia briefly wonders if it’s odd to have your husband’s ex-wife as one of your bridesmaids, but then decides she doesn’t care. Priscilla is still such a good friend to her, she’d even helped to pick out Mia’s dress. 
The party that follows goes on well into the night. It starts with a first dance to actual Jackie Wilson performing (Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher, and sometime around midnight Mia finds herself still in her wedding dress, trying to teach Red West how to rumba. 
“Never thought you’d last, you know.” He says into her ear as she tries in vain to get him to stop standing on her feet. 
“Oh really?” She laughs back, pushing his hip with hers. 
“No. Thought he’d have enough of you being so bossy.”
“You should be concentrating or you won’t get any better.”
Red looks up at her. “I’m not really trying to get better, I’m enjoying you manhandling me if I’m honest.”
Mia bursts out laughing, shoving him back and away from her. “I’ll tell my husband you said that.”
“You’ll tell your husband he said, what?” 
Elvis is suddenly behind her, his arms around her waist. She leans back against him and smirks. “Red West is trying to get close to me, husband.”
“Oh, is that so, wife?”
“Hmm yes. But I wouldn’t worry about him, I’m not interested.” She spins around in his arms and puts hers around his neck. “I just feel sorry for him.”
Elvis looks up at her and chuckles, humming with pleasure as she leans her forehead down against his. “He is pathetic, you’re right.”
Red rolls his eyes and huffs, wandering off to find someone else to annoy. 
“How is my beautiful wife?” Elvis asks her as they sway back and forth to the music. 
“I’ve never been better. How is my handsome husband?”
“I’ve never been happier. Today has been perfect. You’re perfect. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“I can’t wait either, lover.”
The band starts playing From A Jack To A King.
From a Jack to a King / From loneliness to a wedding ring / I played an Ace and I won a Queen / And walked away with your heart
***
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ctrl-alt-em · 2 days
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When the whole Wyrdwood team levels up (which I don’t think will be for a while), I hope Robin gets to level up. I want him to be able to grow and adapt too from his journey. He’d probably get to be level 1, but I can see them jumping him to level 3 for the subclass benefits for mechanics and role play potential.
Using the classes and subclasses for 2024 PHB, there are three classes I think could suit Robin right now: Fighter, Warlock, and Sorcerer. They each highlight how I think Robin and Morven will grow over time, either separate, against, or alongside.
Fighter would give Robin combat skill while keeping magic as Morven’s thing entirely. There would be two sides to the body: physical and magical and that could be interesting to explore, particularly with the different combat styles. Narratively, his new abilities could be explained by Happen and/or Lug teaching how to use weapons. For subclass, I think Champion fits best. It’s the most straightforward, makes the least use of magic, and feels like something more feasible for a commoner than Battle Master.
For Warlock, I think there would need to be some decay in Robin’s relationship with his friends and growing hostility and fear with Morven. If he’s afraid enough Morven will be given his body completely and he’ll be killed or essentially imprisoned, Robin could be desperate enough to make a pact, especially when he’s surrounded by others so much more powerful than him and an outside world trying to kill him. I’m leaning towards Archfey subclass for the support abilities and movement spells, like Misty Step, Faerie Fire, and Calm Emotions, or whatever Cadence is because of the narrative potential that with Happen. Warlock would show contrast between Morven’s innate skills vs Robin making a deal for power out of desperation and how both of them seek gain control of their situation.
Sorcerer, specifically wild magic sorcerer, is my favorite for him. It would keep the two in the same class but show two very distinct uses of sorcery. Morven is a skilled sorceress who has complete control of her magic. She’s has an intellectual and calculating approach to magic. Robin, on the other hand, would have a much more instinctual and maybe even volatile relationship with magic. He hasn’t spent years studying and training and now he suddenly has access to abilities he never gave much thought towards and needs to use them quick. Where Morven is a champship dressage rider, Robin has only seen a horse from afar and is now suddenly in a saddle on a temperamental horse. Wild magic surges fit with magic going wrong in Heoth as well, giving other example of magic going awry. Wild magic sorcerers don’t get their own spell list, but I think the core list with cantrips like Acid Splash and Mending and spells like Chaos Bolt and Shield fit him just fine. Robin is not nearly as confrontational as Morven. Robin could stick to ‘simpler’ or mundane cantrips/spells further differentiate their styles and personalities.
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nocofriday · 3 months
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happy (late) pride month and happy summer! Unemployment sunshine over here with some noco sleepover doodles
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Something extra special under the cut
COONUT AU
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akkivee · 4 months
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still one of my favourite bat interactions lmao kuukou treating jyushi gently and then teasingly threatening hitoya with ✨murder✨
#this is vee speaking#*crying* i have been wanting to reshare this clip for a week now but couldn’t bc i had no internet BUT I DO NOW LETS GO 😭😭😭😭😭🙌🙌🙌🙌#lol i don’t bully hitoya as relentlessly as i used to and that’s bc the narrative does it for me now#but i remember thinking when this first dropped that the reason i probably like bullying hitoya is because kuukou himself enjoys it LOL#i like seeing the various ways kuukou uses physicality to get his affection across lol#i also think about this scene when i’m thinking about kuukou’s mastery over his body/strength lol#like when bat first gets together jyushi passes out from kuukou’s bars and hitoya scolds kuukou for it#and kuukou replies he’s not skilled enough to know how to hold himself back#and this scene shows exactly what he means he’s not skilled enough to hold back lol#kuukou constantly trains himself so he knows his limits strengths and weaknesses#kuukou’s flexing that strength against hitoya for funsies lol but he knows how to stop himself from actually harming him#lol i also like to compare this scene to a panel in the tdd manga where kuukou is just slapping the shit out of ichiro’s back#and it’s a friendly gesture lol but ichiro grumbles kuukou’s using too much strength#kuukou using that much strength tho is him knowing ichiro can handle it lol i like that they’re twin physical monsters#remember when the both of them physically chucked a huge ass man with one hand lmao
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officialbabayaga · 4 months
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when i visited my cousin after a christmas party he had 18 bottles of champagne left over so his mom made me take like 4 of them, anyway i finally opened one for the first time today because i got a 3.93 semester gpa, which has bumped my cumulative gpa up enough to be a competitive candidate for PhD programs i’m applying to in the fall. and it’s great champagne
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creative-robot · 6 months
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Honestly I think one of the funniest things you can do with a hermitcraft/life series Naruto au is to NOT make Etho Kakashi, but still not really change his outfit. The tied-for-second funniest things you can do with it being making Joel Sakura and/or making Grian be Gaara
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algrenion · 5 months
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i know everyone and their mother is talking abt the Kendrick vs Drake beef but I just need to add to the conversation that I truly believe those three drops from Kdot (especially “Not Like Us” bc it’s so fun, though “Meet the Grahams” and “Euphoria” were DEEP call-outs in the beats & lyricism) were probably the best disses in rap since Ice Cube did “No Vaseline”
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Dysprosium, Mary Soon Lee
dysprosium, AN 66, is a silvery-white rare earth metal. its name is derived from the greek dysprositos, meaning “hard to get at”, owing to the difficulty in separating and isolating this rare earth element. dysprosium is used to measure neutron flux, to fuel reactors, and to activate phosphors. terfenol-d is a magnetorestrictive alloy, meaning that it changes shape when a magnetic field is applied, and is used to manufacture underwater acoustic systems.
jason “robo” robertson, dallas stars #21 for @simmyfrobby’s nhl periodic table poems <3
#i had a couple different ideas for poems that were taken by the time i could go deranged for a couple hours to make this but as I looked#i was like WAIT NONE OF YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE JASON ROBERTSON YOU HAVEN’T SEEN MY TEXAS CAM and had to do it. also was STRUCK with the#sudden immaculate vision of the Dallas D as part of terfenol-D and could not get it out & robo is the most dance! person i know on the team#liv in the replies#dallas stars#jason robertson#nhl periodic table poems#guys i am plagued with visions and no execution skills!! every day i come here and learn one new skill on GIMP the way god intended!!!#today it was emboss. also cannot claim any credit for the pulse to the magnetic beat photo which is so cool that was one where i had a#couple and was like maybe i can do like crayon shockwaves like the art process video kasper showed? and then found that picture and was#like thank you lord stanley for knowing my limitations. thank you for your understanding in this moment it was a trial enough to make#expand contract dance and one would THINK i would have fucking learned from the claude animorphs tragedy!! i did not. but i did use the#shear tool and 3D rotate so at least if we’re animorphing it’s SLIGHTLY better. anyway me frantically doing this like WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT#WAIT FOR ME YOU GUYS ARE SO FAST i keep seeing all of these and just spinning around in circles until i get dizzy & fall down I’m so happy#the drive folder for this is just called joy!!!!! because joy this is such a cool idea but now because it brings me so much joy#i just saw the Travis dermott one and burst into tears super normal AND someone did exactly what i wanted with hydrogen which was the water#the ice!!!!! it’s so perfect!!! and cody ofc did silver lord stanley. like does it ever make you cry how beautiful & creative everyone is?#anyway if you see me post and delete this and then update it or change it no you didn’t it’s fine. but i wanted to be included#if i could make the dysprosium letters not have a white background i would I simply could not fuck with it at 1AM. we are hitting send#it may not look like it but i queue#pretend i spoke at length about the reasons why i picked all the pictures & the element just know that it’s there inside my brain u can ask#GUYS I TAKE IT ALL BACK I SAW NEONFRETRA’S ISOTOPES AND I COULD MAKE THE EDITS EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE THERE!! ISOTOPES!!!! YOU GUYS!!!!!!#get ready for the edits then. dylan magnesium my beloved child of stars who can never return… like i wish i could say anyone else but it’s#i KNOW number nineteens bismuth don’t make me Google how many years nolan played hockey but also there’s ej for stable so.. also half-life#actinium claude giroux my beloved… when i saw there already was a claude i thought maybe Brady too for that#I don’t know how but flerovium doubled magic is percolating in my brain as was promethium bad boy because I was like hmmm. tyler. but#couldn’t commit and THEN SOMEONE DID BAD BAD LEROY BROWN TYLER BERTUZZI TO PROMETHIUM AND BESTIE I AM KISSING YOU ON THE MOUTH!!! with cons#anyway shane wright germanium with juraj slafkovský but showing him very obviously not missing it. if jack eichel was not an asshole#the narratives WOULD be narrativing. you could argue for a sidovi here with the calder cup and potentially a best friend stealing narrative#(the most recent is cam yorke’s acquisition of jamie d from trevor zegras which would then require a yorkie one for silicon the other side)
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jasontoddenthusiastt · 11 months
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I always smh at people who dub Jason as “whiny” “and therefore ooc” in tt 29. If you died and all everyone did was taint your legacy, and not a single person remembered you fondly or deemed you worthy of commemoration after your death, wouldn’t you be a bit upset too?
#the only thing that was ooc about Jason there was all the shit talking the other characters were doing about him.#and some of the things Jason said about himself because he left whatever small amounts of self esteem he actually had back in his grave#he was very cooperative shy and clever with the titans in the 80s#it’s not enough that his own father told him to his face that he is a product of his own problems#everyone he knew and had good working relationships with just completely shut him out and turned their backs#even if you don’t mean it/it’s more complicated than that#if someone you knew died but now you got a chance to tell them what you couldn’t wouldn’t you at least muster up an ‘I’m glad you’re back’#apparently not lol#kelseethe#it’s the fact that people label him *being upset* as ‘illogical’ or stupid that irks me#I was talking with a mutual about this too but#if a female character did exactly his actions#I don’t think people would be so quick to stomp all over her and call her weak/overbearing/hysterical#or to give her the dismissive patronizing eye roll treatment#even though they deemed her actions to be exaggerated/misdirected/an outburst by any standard#they’d probably say she’s written like an actual human and that she resonates with a lot of people haha#he evaded all their security systems and effectively took down anyone who was present in the tower.#I’d say his skills are pretty in-character.#the idea that men can get emotional is just not palatable to you people just admit it#if it isn’t silent brooding stoic manpain you people will projectile vomit all over it and call it ‘bad characterization’
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gunkbaby · 6 months
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Tumblr is literally just 4chan for gay people idc
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blueookashi · 1 month
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I am being so slow at that one Library animation and it’s because that perfectionism of “it HAS to be consistent it HAS to look good!!” Has come back meanwhile I’m working on the god damn STORYBOARD!!!
I am trying so hard to kill that part of my brain that is so ingrained because of past shit, like even if I was at the refinement stage why does it need to look perfect?? This is supposed to be for fun!
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mumblesplash · 2 years
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getting better at drawing when you’re not trying for realism is kinda funny bc it’s like wow now my art looks even MORE like the exact midpoint between old-school disney and late 2010s anime. i didn’t think it was possible and yet i’ve done it again. inspiring
#and soon? even More.#there’s also the additional layer of not being able to explain what about my art is better than it used to be#like idk what to tell u it’s just better now. all my old stuff is crap compared to this. leaps and bounds#source: dude trust me#tbh i think my artistic abilities probably seem much more consistent from an outside pov#bc i never want to draw anything i can’t draw#like if i TRIED to draw that cuteguy stoplight drawing a few months ago it would have looked terrible#but i wouldn’t have tried bc i wouldn’t have wanted to bc i couldn’t you see#that’s the thing about art it never feels any easier#if you start out frustrated by your skill falling short of your vision guess what#your vision will continue to improve as you gain skill and that frustration never goes away#but it also never feels any harder#my first experience with drawing was being pleasantly surprised to find my skill slightly exceeded my aspirations#(i was 3 and my aspirations were draw a duck)#and you know what. to this day the pleasant surprise remains#what i’m saying is dream small stay in your comfort zone and do not strive for great things#cannot recommend complacency enough#this isn’t sports you don’t get gains through effort you get gains and then the effort happens on accident#don’t listen to me i probably don’t know what i’m talking about#but i AM having more fun drawing than you so maybe i’m onto something#impossible to say#i’m certainly not smart enough to figure that out i’m an idiot have you seen the kind of advice i give#mumbling
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apotelesmaa · 5 months
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I have finally full comboed every expert/master song below level 27 available on enpjsk & while the profits were great I will say the fact that the mad skillz achievement gives you nothing but a title & bragging rights is so stupid. Not even a title bonus. But you get a title bonus from everyone having one of the same title (even getting 5 ppl with a title from the same unit Is a pain in the ass) & for everyone picking the same song (I have literally never seen this happen)? Hateful game. Give me my pathetic +10 bonus miku.
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Everybody learns at their own pace everybody learns in their own time everybody everybody learns at the time best for them everybody-
#.txt#AGONIZING#the desire to improve right.this. second to unattainable degrees is crushing me oh nature cleooo#so many skilled artists and writers to be inspired from and motivated by#I REALIZE its like. all 20-smiths but I just love their stuff so much TT#and look. I still have to do my yearly america cringe post redraw and I’m excited BUT LAST YEAR I literally preferred the previous#and writing again and realizing I might have REGRESSED?!?!? from 2021?!?!? well maybe not BUT#its a tough lesson to learn that just because you age you don’t improve things you associate ur identity with if. you don’t. PRACTICE#like idk#anatomy not good enough#dialogue not good enough#not doing trends means less acknowledgement and that HURTS but I just don’t like making shit idc about it so it doesn’t feel worth it#going to college and realize it ur gonna have to stop being a kid and being ok with inadequacy#loving talking to fandom ppl but thinking oh ill never be as charismatic never be as interesting or as knowledgeable about history and#lighting#PEOPLE SHOULDNT COMPARE THEMSELVES TO THOSE 5+ YEARS OLDER bc DUH they’re gonna often be better#I just. havin a creative bump where it feels like ill never bring my ideas to as good fruitation as others can#well. um. yea if that’s about it. I’m gonna go plan for tomorrows usual week comic cuz I’m flying to England at 5pm and wont have time/bars#ill be in Europe for the next three weeks and I’m very excited#just feeling all around inadequate if cuz Europeans often judge you REALLY harsh when they find out your American#I just need to POWER THOUGH and have a good time and make the comics and write the stories I wanna write#cuz that’s all I can do and the only way to get better at walking is to walk the walk
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bo0zey · 2 years
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when gerard way said “when i grow up i want to be nothing at all” i felt those words in my gdamn soul bro
#cried alone in my car parked in my driveway for like 17 minutes#i feel so hopeless and useless and stupid so so so stupid i’ll never be smart enough like the other nurses#i can’t fucking think im too slow i don’t know anything#it’s the emergency room and god for fucking bid i have an emergent patient i don’t know wtf to do ever#i don’t know how to initiate protocols or contact interdisciplinary or put in complex orders i don’t know anything i’m so useless#everyone thinks i’m stupid i’ve been on orientation for like 2 months know and i’m still the same useless stupid novice airhead new grad#i just get so frazzled i feel like everyone expects so much out of me and i have to be perfect to meet their standards#but im stupid im subpar im not good enough like them like#ever if they’ve been nurses for years and i’ve only been working as one for legit 2 months it’s just i still don’t know how to do anything#it’s like i can’t think i don’t do things how they want me to do them and then i look stupid im the attending doctor thinks i’m so dumb but#she wouldn’t even hear me out like i know you want both fluids running i know it’s important but he only has.1 IV and they aren’t compatible#we’re trying to start a second IV and he had difficult veins like why are you trying to tell me i’m stupid i know why you ordered it thatway#it’s like nobody gets my dumbass brain but that’s not their fault bc they can think clearly and convey their thoughts to people without#sounding like a fucking dumbass i have no critical thinking skills im just useless i hate this so much i don’t want to be here it sucks#i never wanted to be a nurse i never wanted to be anything i was 12 years old hoping i’d be dead by 18#and now i’m 23 and i’m still fucking here but it’s clear i shouldn’t be i don’t fit in im not fit for society#i should be euthanized like an unwanted dog that’s been at the shelter for too long that’s exactly what i am#20min later still crying can’t stop being a fucking crybaby pitypartying myself i’m the worst oh my god grow the fuck up already#why is everything so difficult for me why can’t i just fit in literally everyone knows i don’t belong#i’m the dumbest most useless new grad orientee and EVERYONE knows it even management it’s so embarrassing#i’m so embarrassed to be alive and take up space that could be filled by someone so much better smarter prepared someone meant to be there#i don’t want this i don’t want any of this i never wanted to grow up im just a kid in my head i’m so pathetic#i wish i was smart and good at something i wish people looked at me and thought o wow i respect her bc she’s also a good nurse#nobody likes me i’m such a burden to everyone the doctors my preceptors other nurses who deserve to be there#i’m leaking snot everywhere today wasn’t even that bad but i think it’s all just hitting me now how helpless i am#i’m so tired of myself and waking up and making a fool of myself every shift fucking stupid loser i hate myself i try so hard and it’s not#it’s not enough it’s never enough im not enough im an imposter i’ll never be as good as the other nurses even tho i’m really really trying#i seriously don’t want to do this anymore i don’t want to be here i can’t do it everyone knows i’m not cut out for this they all talk shit#ramblings
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