#I don’t have a problem with the Jesus fandom

[happypeachsludgeflower]

Why is the Jesus fandom blowing up my Pinterest feed??

[boltdrake]

Ok about moral greyness in elden ring fandom

I feel like it’s mostly treated as either some kind of badass cosmetics for a GoodGuy (like “my blorbo is cool and good and kind but you know they kill people - bad people, so it’s not bad but it’s not also your Jesus guy which is normal bc who would give their second cheek”) or some kind of euphemism used by bad/problematic/pseudo intellectual people to erase morality

I’m bad problematic pseudo intellectual person so take my opinion with grain of salt, but I think it’s a great misunderstanding or what a morally grey character is in ER especially

It’s usually based on the that understanding of goodness that to be good you just need to do good things and don’t do bad things (which is of course extremely vague and not defined but anyways). It’s seems pretty straightforward and because of that brings a lot of confusion

It’s quite easy for a character to be GoodGood (even with murders but I digress), you can see it in many fix-it fanworks where often every trouble finds its own, well, fixing, and there’s always a way to set things right, maybe just with some sad deaths along the way, but characters often will find this correct way because in these universes there’s always at least one

(It’s not a rant on fanfiction I like it and I like fix-its very VERY much)

And when same logic is applied to the game itself, often arises treatment of characters as GoodGood, MisleadedGood and BadBad ones

But in the stories we see in Elden Ring context is usually such that when a character wants to get something, even something good, like for example make people live forever or cure their own sister, there’s sometimes no way of resolving their trouble without facing some kind of moral choice, even if you’re a literal half-god. You either get what you want with a price, or don’t get it… also with a price. Because fromsoftware stories are build on conflict, tragedy and irony

That’s what makes character grey, the fact there’s no third option or that you don’t have third option just because world is that way and you’re unlucky. And not choosing to get what you want can be as bad as choosing opposite. And that’s what usually makes situation complex and twisted and inherently grey

I don’t want to say that like every person in fandom should treat all the characters as mostly good ones without making some way less sympathetic than others. Making characters twisted and horrible is fun! I’m just tired of the way how people 1) don’t realise there’s often HUGE room for interpretation and make it problem of others 2) hate characters with such a passion as they were real humans who live in your neighbourhood on planet earth 2024 3) sanitise characters into strictly Good and Bad ones etc etc etc

My whole vent on Miquella’s hatebase is in fact divided into two parts, one being me thinking many people just lack understanding of the DLC/base game ideas and plot, but that’s ok we all have different opinions (I’m just the only one who is correct. LIVE WITH THAT.), and second being that vague ??rudeness?? and hatred which accompanies division on Morally Good and Morally Bad, because there’s this subtle idea like. Oh if you like Godrick/Rykard/Post-DLC Miquella / Seluvis then you’re moral pervert/ lover of Dark. Which is rarely true and really annoys me

I also have no trouble with GoodGood characters being GoodGood because, well. it’s comforting and cozy stuff. But often it turns into token of moral superiority, like look I love GoodGood guy because I’m good too and also not stupid. This is also annoying and I wish we had less of this in fandom.

It’s often also a lie to oneself, because even if we approach elden ring from I Can Simp Only Morally Pure ones (which is very boring and butchers the whole thing in my opinion) then we would probably be left with only Boc, Hewg and maybe Roderika. What do you mean you want to simp LITERAL murderers?? What do you mean you want to simp those assholes demigods who think that people are just dolls for their games, who turned the land into land of the dead because they just couldn’t stop war after war after war to decide who will make new order? What do you mean you want to simp the demigod who quit the war to do literally nothing to stop it???? CRINGE

Also GoodGood character headcanon making without self-awareness often results in very weird moral twists of its own, because in this logic character is allowed to make only GoodGood decisions, therefore all the stuff character made in canon MUST be good and morally justified. This leads to something like Marika fans writing essays on the topic You Can In Fact Deserve Genocide

Enough for today have a good day fellow dlc lovers 💪

Upd posted this on main by accident got jumpscared it’s so hard to copy past on mobile for some reason. No edgy on main I promised!!

[deadghosy]

If I was in Hazbin hotel:

Author insert x Hazbin Hotel

Prompt: an author is bored as they decided to jump into their favorite fandom at this very moment.

Honestly I’m bored asf rn lmao.

Will, the blogger in tumblr known as Deadghosy was bored in his room as he listens to jay aka kub scoutz 😍 playing lil guardsman. Being even more bored they opened their palm as a digital portal opens-

OKAY STOP…at first I was gonna do that story ass shit but let me be real. I died by not getting enough sleep and I popped into hell for not liking those Jesus posts😭

I’d honestly be in the sloth ring for being lazy asf and being tired most of the time. But also be in the gluttony ring as well. A BIG BITCH GOTTA EATTTT😭

But I would probably still be able to go into the pride ring because of my pride in not needing help from people. 😭 I hate asking for damn help irl.

I actually have very sharp canine teeth and bottom rows, I might as well be mistaken for a humanoid demon lol/j

But if did have a demon form, it’s a bear since I eat and sleep all day lmao.

Alastor wouldn’t “hate hate” me but find me annoying. I would try to get on his good side and never do deals with him obviously cause I like my soul 😍. But dead ass I’m showing him lingo of gen z ☝🏾💀 cause ain’t no way ima hear this deer man yap in a way I can’t understand. This is not no new broadcast from the old times dude. “Salutations!-” HAVIN ASS😕

Friendship level: 5/10

Sir Pentious, I’m teaching this bitch how to do the whip and nae nae 😄. I love him personally cause he so silly sometimes. I would just pop up as he works on weapons but not help him lol. I think personally our friendship would be the kind to talk to each other for a little and stop and repeat😕

Friendship level: 4.5/10

Charlie would like me because of my hyperactive personality sometimes. Like if I’m fixating on something, she would listen and probably tell her father. But mostly i wouldn’t do the trust exercises, she’ll have to drag my black ass to do them 💀

Friendship level: 6/10

Lucifer and I would be so chill dead ass. He’s probably adopt me if I’m gonna be honest cause I also have a duck toy in my room as we speak 😭LITERALLY I MIGHT AS WELL BE A MINI HIM WITH HIM HAVING HYPER FIXATIONS.

Friendship level: 10/10

Vaggie and me, idk she’s chill but short tempered. But I don’t think she would hate me but only he suspicious at first, but then just be chill with me. I would try to help her around but procrastinate lmao

Friendship level: 5.5//10

Husk would probably be chill but not have an opinion on me honestly. It will depend on me just going to talk to him or being nervous to talk to him. I hate being awkward so I would just wave or sit by his bar and chill with him as I draw.

Friendship level: it’s probably between 3/10 and 5/10

Angel and me, idk I feel like I would be a small friend of his to help. He wouldn’t trauma dump that much on me cause I’m just a kid so it would be like “oh my work is shit but my boss is even more shit.” So I would just nod acting like I don’t know what’s going on. Plus, I would probably try to make him something with the help of Lucifer

Friendship level: ima be honest…it’s probably a 4/10 cause I’m a minor and he has problems he need it overcome. He doesn’t need a minor to yap his ear off 😕

The Vee’s…😕ain’t no way ima talk to them front to front if I’m actually gonna be their friends dead ass. I would probably mostly be friends with Velvette to hook me up on outfits😍

Friendship level: -1000/10

Valentino…HAH YOU WOULD HAVE TO CATCH MY BLACK ASS ACTUALLY DEAD IF IM GONNA CHILL WITH THIS BASTARD 😂 I’m burning his whole studio down in a cool ass pyro tf2 mask. Fuck that bitch, all my homies hate Valentino 🤭

ENEMY LEVEL: 10000000/10🖕🏾

Vox, I’m begging him to try to advance my phone so I can prank call heaven and hell at the same time. I’m using so much evil ass shit🦆 like dead ass ima say “I heard your high school bully is in heaven” to an angel so they would go crazy trying to find their bully lmao. But Vox would hate my ass cause..I’m me? Idk lol

Enemy level: 8.5/10

Velvette, eh I feel like we would be mutuals but not too friendly. More like a hook up just so i can get free outfits and she can get a quick teen model and I can leave with the fit fr 😍 no money, free outfit‼️

Friendship level: 4.5/10

Adam and me..we throwin hands. Full on fist to fist. He probably would try to cheat but nahhh, you gettin kicked in the manhood bitch 😄‼️ but yeah me and him, enemies for life. He’s funny I’ll admit, but be honest having him beside you irl💀

Enemy level: he better keep one eye open.

Sera…yeah she not letting me in heaven lmao 😭 that’s all ima say LMAOO

Friendship level: -0/10

Lute will 100% percent kill me for my mouth 😭. I’d probably say GYATT to her for funnies only to get stab. But I would just be quiet and try to be on her good side lmao

Friendship level: 2/10

Emily would like me but would be the type of person to keep me in check with my mouth and vulgar language as I just chill eating all the food in heaven. She def givin me good tours.

Friendship level: a good 7.5/10

That’s all I have lmao

[princessbiteme0o0]

Alright guys, it’s time for a come to Jesus meeting.

Alright so it has come to my attention that some people within the Jschlatt and Ted Nivison community have been bullying writers for awhile now. Making a writer feel bad for not writing something that THEY don’t feel like writing isn’t cool. As a writer in this beautifully made community, I do not and will not tolerate disrespect. Having said that- do not come to me with your disrespect, do not come to me expecting that I HAVE TO write something for you, and I WILL NOT TOLERATE DISRESPECT TOWARDS OTHER CREATORS AND WRITERS. So help me God, it isn’t up to YOU what other people write. If YOU have a problem with what they’re writing, block and move on. If YOU have a problem with what they choose not to write, block and move on. Grow up and act like adults. Also, minors interacting with posts marked DNI- you need to learn to stop taking part in things that could get both YOU and THE CREATOR in trouble. Stop messaging people with their age CLEARLY STATED in their blog if they are 18 and up. STOP interacting with 18 and up blogs.

I am so fucking sick of the bullying in this fandom. It is ridiculous.

HAVING SAID THAT, I HAVE ANOTHER THING TO BITCH ABOUT BECAUSE I AM P I S S E D WITH YOU ALL.

So, Schlatt and Ted. They might be ‘famous youtubers’ that doesn’t give you the right to gate keep their appearances. If you don’t like the way they look in a specific video or photo, ignore it and move on.

I keep seeing these little comments here and there about hair, weight, appearance in general. Some of you seem to forget THEY ARE HUMAN TOO. STOP JUDGING OTHERS ON HOW THEY LOOK.

HOW WOULD YOU FEEL, HMM?

How would YOU feel if on a day where you’re not looking your absolute best if people that are supposed to be ‘fans’ are posting pictures or video clips saying ‘eww’ and ‘disgusting’ or calling you fat? I have seen so much blatant disrespect towards many others in this fanbase.

Get pissed at me all you want, but I am FUCKING SICK of seeing people TALKING SHIT and NOT getting called out about it.

I am fully aware that I’m not the most active writer on here and I’m okay with that, BUT if I START GETTING those little asks and shit, I will just completely move to AO3 because, people, you need to grow up.

IF I SEE ONE MORE THING BITCHING ABOUT HOW TED OR SCHLATT LOOK, I WILL REPORT YOU.

At the end of the day, what did we learn?

Maybe treat others with respect

Keep an open mind

Remember that writers have boundaries too and THAT’S OKAY.

Respect those boundaries or chances are, we will ignore you.

If you don’t like someone’s content, block and move on.

Bullying someone isn’t okay

CREATORS AND WRITERS ARE PEOPLE TOO.

[etoilesombre]

Hey, do you guys want to hear a story? Let me tell you about the romance between Lancelot and Guinevere, as recounted in Sir Thomas Malory's Le Morte d'Arthur.

So, I thought I knew the basics. I grew up reading modern versions of Arthurian legend that focused on other aspects, but had a general knowledge of the Arthur-Guinever-Lancelot love triangle. It didn't show up too much, but I assumed it was subtext in some other versions. What I picked up was that it was sort of pure, almost an ot3, and not the cause of a lot of problems. 

My friends. In this version it is NOT SUBTEXT, it DEFINITELY CAUSED PROBLEMS, and it is WILD. It is a true will-they-won't-they drama fest soap opera romance, and I need to share. So please, come on this journey with me.

[I’m looking at you, Black Sails fandom people. I need you to know that Flint canonically would have read this. He would almost certainly have also grown up hearing these stories. I’m not saying he’s Lancelot coded, but I am saying it's interesting that he would have been aware that was something it was possible to be.]

A couple notes, before we dive in. I am very much just summarizing what happened in the book. The thing is, the book is a million pages long and also in Middle English, and this is just one of many plots, which I think is why it's not more widely known. I will show some excerpts so you can get a feel for the text, but you don’t need to read them to understand the story. I'm referring to a version that is as close to the manuscript as I can find, though with spelling regularized. For real fun, see what the original looked like. Malory purports to be translating part of the French Vulgate cycle, which likely is where the character of Lancelot originates, but in fact he is doing much more than translating, and compiles other stories as well. Point being, when he says “so the French book sayeth” etc, that is the “book” to which he is referring. Because of my lack of knowledge about the language and cultural context, this lecture series from Mythgard Academy was absolutely invaluable to my understanding. I cannot recommend it highly enough. Inevitably, some of the opinions of the prof are reflected here. I do not have it in me to compare the scholarship of various medievalists right now, I just want to tell you about this DRAMA. 

Let’s start with a prophecy. When Arthur decides he wishes to marry Guinevere, Merlin advises him to take someone else, because if he takes her, she will betray him with Lancelot and it will destroy his kingdom. All of this is foretold, not only to us, but to Arthur himself. Of course he takes her anyway, and all is doomed from the start.

As we begin the main arc of this story (several books after the prophecy), Lancelot is widely acknowledged to be the best and most renowned knight of Arthur’s court. He is plainly and hopelessly in love with Guinevere, and she loves him in return. Arthur doesn’t have a problem with this - who wouldn’t love Guinevere? This sort of love is socially acceptable, so long as they do not sleep together, which would be treason. Arthur in fact seems to support their love, because it means that Lancelot will be Guinevere’s champion should she need one. This is a role Arthur himself legally cannot fill because he is the king, and so would have to be the judge. Lancelot is indeed a good champion for her, and fights for her when she is wrongly accused of murder. 

Lancelot is deeply chivalrous, in a way that seems sincere. This is a great place for a first excerpt, a conversation with a Random Damsel Lancelot has been helping:

‘Now, damosel,’ said Sir Lancelot, ‘will ye any more service of me?’ ‘Nay, sir,’ she said, ‘at this time, but almighty Jesu preserve you wheresoever ye ride or go, for the most courteous knight thou art and meekest unto all ladies and gentlewomen that now liveth. But one thing, sir knight, me thinks ye lack, ye that are a knight wifeless, that ye will not love some maiden or gentlewoman. For I could never hear say that ever ye loved any of no manner of degree, and that is great pity. But it is noised that ye love Queen Guenivere, and that she hath ordained by enchantment that ye shall never love no other but her, nor no other damosel nor lady shall rejoice you; wherefore there be many in this land of high estate and low that make great sorrow.’ ‘Fair damosel,’ said Sir Lancelot, ‘I may not warn* people to speak of me what it pleaseth them; but for to be a wedded man, I think it not; for then I must couch with her, and leave arms and tournaments, battles and adventures. And as for to say to take my pleasance with paramours, that will I refuse, in principal for dread of God. For knights that be adventurous should not be adulterers nor lecherous, for then they be not happy nor fortunate unto the wars; for either they shall be overcome with a simpler knight than they be themselves, or else they shall slay by unhap and their cursedness better men than they be themselves. And so who that useth paramours shall be unhappy, and all thing unhappy that is about them.’ 

So after doing his Knightly Deeds for this damsel, Lancelot asks if she needs anything else. She says no, but you are lacking one thing, which is the love of a woman. It is rumored that is because Guinevere has through sorcery made you love only her, and that causes all of the women great sorrow. In reply Lancelot makes this speech about how he cannot have a wife or paramour and be a good knight, but everyone thinks it is at least in part because his love is reserved for Guinevere.

Now, throughout the book his chastity DOES notably cause all of the women great sorrow. Everyone wants to sleep with Lancelot. Literally he is kidnapped by the four most beautiful queens other than Guinevere, and they say he has to choose one of them as a lover (not even a wife, a lover) or else die. He says he would rather die, though in the end he escapes. This is just an example, truly it is a recurring problem for him. He is, at one point, tricked into sleeping with a woman with whom he conceives his son Galahad (as was prophesied, it's a long story and the romance is only part of it. It is worth mentioning that something similar happens to Arthur, which is how Mordred is sired.) When Guinevere learns that Lancelot has been with someone else, she is angry and banishes him from the court. They still love each other and eventually reconcile. 

So, Lancelot goes on the quest for the holy grail. But he fails, specifically because while he is outwardly dedicated to God, in his private heart he is still dedicated to Guinevere. And so he makes a vow to renounce his love for her, acknowledging that it is beyond measure (beyond what is right, even if they have not technically done anything wrong.) However when he returns to Camelot, he cannot keep this vow, as we see. 

Then, as the book saith, Sir Lancelot began to resort unto Queen Guenivere again, and forgot the promise and the perfection that he made in the quest. For, as the book saith, had not Sir Lancelot been in his privy thoughts and in his mind so set inwardly to the Queen as he was in seeming outward to God, there had no knight passed him in the quest of the Sangrail, but ever his thoughts were privily on the Queen. And so they loved together more hotter than they did beforehand, and had many such privy draughts together that many in the court spoke of it, and in especial Sir Agravain, Sir Gawain’s brother, for he was ever open-mouthed. So it befell that Sir Lancelot had many resorts of ladies and damosels that daily resorted unto him to be their champion: in all such matters of right Sir Lancelot applied him daily to do for the pleasure of Our Lord Jesu Christ. And ever as much as he might he withdrew him from the company of Queen Guenivere for to eschew the slander and noise, wherefore the Queen waxed wroth with Sir Lancelot.

He and Guinevere start spending a lot of time alone together, and so there are rumors circulating about them in court. In order to put a stop to the rumors, Lancelot starts paying other women attention and doing more good knightly deeds for them. Guinevere is terribly jealous, but he tells her it's for their own good, and also tells her about the vow he made, and his concern that their love is beyond what is appropriate. She is devastated, and weeping banishes him from the court (again). 

Lancelot then rides in a tournament, disguised. (Why? Because this is simply a thing knights do.) To make it an effective disguise he takes the token of a woman, the sleeve of the fair maid of Astolat to wear on his helm. When she discovers that he was only using it for the disguise, and he does not indeed love her, she is so heartbroken that she says if he will not marry her or be her lover, she will die. He refuses, on the grounds that love must not be constrained and should arise from the heart, and offers her a thousand pounds a year instead if she marries anyone else. Properly insulted by this, she does indeed die. She has her body sent in a boat to Camelot, with a letter in her hand, saying that she died of her love for him, that he would not return. 

Seeing this, Guinevere reconciles with Lancelot, presumably reassured by the fact that he would let this very beautiful much younger woman die of her love rather than being with her. She insists that from now on he will not fight in disguise, and will openly bear her token. 

Then Queen Guenivere sent for Sir Lancelot, and said thus: ‘I warn you that ye ride no more in no jousts nor tournaments but that your kinsmen may know you; and at these jousts that shall be ye shall have of me a sleeve of gold. And I pray you for my sake to force* yourself there, that men may speak you worship. But I charge you as ye will have my love, that ye warn your kinsmen that ye will bear that day the sleeve of gold upon your helmet.’ ‘Madam,’ said Sir Lancelot, ‘it shall be done.’ And either made great joy of other.

It is important to keep in mind that, to this point, there is no textual evidence that they were sleeping together, and a great deal of evidence that it was important to Lancelot that they not cross that line. There is much less evidence that this is important to Guinevere.

So then one fateful day in May, Guinevere goes picnicing with an entourage of knights. They are captured by someone else who is in love with Guinevere, and taken back to his castle, but she manages to send a message to Lancelot. At the castle, she insists that her knights sleep in her bedchamber on the grounds that they were wounded in the battle when she was captured and need tending, but truly she wants them there to keep her captor from raping her. 

Lancelot arrives to rescue her, and the person who kidnapped her agrees to give her back in the morning. She tells Lancelot to visit her room in the night. He climbs up to her window, which is barred. They have a heartfelt reunion and she says she wishes he could come in to her. He acquiesces and breaks the bars to get into her room, cutting his hand to the bone to do so. Despite the profusely bleeding wound and the ten other men sleeping in the room, they at last do sleep together, in this passionate blood covered consummation. He sneaks back out and replaces the bars.

In the morning, the man who kidnapped Guinevere comes in and sees blood all over the bed. He accuses her of being unfaithful to the king, saying she lay with one of the knights who had been sleeping in her room. She denies it, but it is very clear that she did sleep with someone who was bleeding. 

Lancelot says he will fight to defend her from this accusation, which is right and proper because he is her champion. In this story people take trial by combat and oaths before God very seriously, especially Lancelot. He really does try. So he swears an oath that he will prove with his life that Guinevere did not sleep with one of the wounded knights who lay in her room. This of course is TRUE, but only on a technicality. Lancelot, having slept with her himself the night before, is also the one who defends her honor after. I love this story so much. 

Instead of fighting him, the kidnapper takes Lancelot captive. In captivity he encounters ANOTHER damsel who insists that sleep with her in order for her to help him. He refuses, still faithful in his heart to Guinevere. Eventually she settles for him holding and kissing her, which is not across the line of appropriateness apparently, giving us some idea of where that line is drawn. Anyway, Lancelot gets out, fights for Guinevere and wins. There are indications that he feels like he barely dodged a devine bullet. 

Guinevere and Lancelot return to Camelot. Finally the rumors about them are true, the deed has been done, but of course nothing appears particularly different as there were already rumors about them. Two knights, Mordred and Agravaine, who have been intriguing against Arthur already, go and tell Arthur that Guinevere is being untrue to him. Here is his response: 

‘If it be so,’ said the King, ‘wit you well, he is none other; but I would be loath to begin such a thing but I might have proofs of it. For Sir Lancelot is a hardy knight, and all ye know that he is the best knight among us all; and but if he be taken with the deed he will fight with him that bringeth up the noise, and I know no knight that is able to match him. Therefore, and it be sooth as ye say, I would that he were taken with the deed.’ For as the French book saith, the King was full loath that such a noise should be upon Sir Lancelot and his queen. For the King had a deeming of it; but he would not hear thereof, for Sir Lancelot had done so much for him and for the Queen so many times that, wit you well, the King loved him passingly well.

Arthur says he will not hear of this without proof, because if Lancelot is accused and allowed to fight he would beat anyone. And, it is said that Arthur had some idea of the affair, but would not credit it because Lancelot had done so much for him and Guinevere, and he loved Lancelot greatly. 

So, one night when the king is away hunting, the two accusers contrive to catch them in the act, with a group of twelve armed knights. They do find Lancelot in Guinevere’s chamber, but the text is notably, pointedly vague about whether they are actually in bed. In any case, Lancelot asks for a trial. The knights say no, they have caught him and so may kill him. He is Lancelot, so he kills all of them instead, save one (Mordred) whom he leaves wounded. Lancelot flees, intending to return to rescue Guinevere and take her to his own castle to protect her from Arthur’s wrath. He maintains her innocence, and still intends that they will all reconcile.

Guinevere is to be burned at the stake (normal in this situation). Lancelot rescues her from the burning at the last moment, killing a number of knights of the round table. Arthur seems to blame the accusers more than Guinevere and Lancelot (for good reason; keep in mind that the romance is a subplot, there is a great deal of political intrigue going on.) Now a war will begin, whether anyone wants it or not, because of the people Lancelot killed. Lancelot takes Guinevere to his own castle. Battle lines are drawn, and Lancelot and Arthur confront each other in the fighting:

And ever was King Arthur about Sir Lancelot to have slain him, and ever Sir Lancelot suffered him and would not strike again. So Sir Bors encountered with King Arthur; and Sir Bors smote him, and so he alit and drew his sword and said to Sir Lancelot, ‘Sir, shall I make an end of this war?’—for he meant to have slain him. ‘Not so hardy,’ said Sir Lancelot, ‘upon pain of thy head, that thou touch him no more! For I will never see that most noble king that made me knight neither slain nor shamed.’ And therewith Sir Lancelot alit off his horse and took up the King and horsed him again, and said thus: ‘My lord the king, for God’s love, stint this strife, for ye get here no worship and I would do my utterance. But always I forbear you, and ye nor none of yours forbear not me. And therefore, my lord, I pray you remember what I have done in many places, and now am I evil rewarded.’ So when King Arthur was on horseback he looked on Sir Lancelot; then the tears burst out of his eyes, thinking of the great courtesy that was in Sir Lancelot more than in any other man. And therewith the King rode his way and might no longer behold him, saying to himself, ‘Alas, alas, that yet this war began!’

So Arthur tries to slay Lancelot, but Lancelot, the better fighter, refuses to slay him and indeed when Arthur is unhorsed Lancelot forbids that he be slain, and gives him his own horse. Arthur weeps for the honor that is in Lancelot, and laments that the war began. 

The pope intervenes and tries to negotiate an end. Lancelot confirms that he is willing to return Guinevere to Arthur, and says he has always been willing to do this and will still defend her honor, but that he does not feel he can do so because Arthur has listened to liars and been misled, and he had more reason to take her away than the accusation of adultery - he does not trust she can be safe in that court, with things as they are. 

Eventually they do make a deal, with some assurances, and he surrenders Guinevere to the king. He kisses her openly, says that he will leave, but should she be in danger or ever again accused of being untrue, he will fight for her as he always has. He departs the court forever, to much great sorrow, and returns to his own lands. 

The war continues - eventually Mordred seizes the throne, Arthur kills him in battle but is mortally wounded himself and passes to Avalon. Following the king’s death, although her love would no longer be adulterous, Guinevere retires to a convent rather than reuniting with Lancelot. He seeks her out, and this is her reaction: 

Sir Lancelot was brought before her; then the Queen said to all those ladies, ‘Through this same man and me hath all this war been wrought, and the death of the most noblest knights of the world; for through our love that we have loved together is my most noble lord slain. Therefore, Sir Lancelot, wit thou well I am set in such a plight to get my soul health; and yet I trust through God’s grace and through His Passion of His wounds wide, that after my death I may have a sight of the blessed face of Christ Jesu, and at Doomsday to sit on His right side;* for as sinful as ever I was, now are saints in heaven. And therefore, Sir Lancelot, I require thee and beseech thee heartily, for all the love that ever was betwixt us, that thou never see me no more in the visage. And I command thee, on God’s behalf, that thou forsake my company; and to thy kingdom look thou turn again, and keep well thy realm from war and wrack. For as well as I have loved thee heretofore, my heart will not serve now to see thee, for through thee and me is the flower of kings and knights destroyed. And therefore go thou to thy realm, and there take ye a wife and live with her with joy and bliss. And I pray thee heartily to pray for me to the everlasting Lord that I may amend my misliving.’ ‘Now, my sweet madam,’ said Sir Lancelot, ‘would ye that I should turn again unto my country, and there to wed a lady? Nay, madam, wit you well, that shall I never do, for I shall never be so false unto you of that I have promised. But the self* destiny that ye have taken you to, I will take me to, for the pleasure of Jesu; and ever for you I cast me specially to pray.

Rather than rejoicing in Lancelot’s presence, Guinevere laments that their love brought about the downfall of the Arthurian court, and the deaths of the knights of the round table and King Arthur. She calls upon Lancelot, by all the love that was ever between them to leave her presence, telling him to marry someone else if he wishes and see her no more. Lancelot replies that he wants no one else, and that he will respect her wishes, but will also renounce the world and join a religious order. He asks Guinevere for a final parting kiss, which she denies him. 

When Guinevere lies dying of illness, Lancelot sets out to go to her, having had a vision. She knows of his coming, and prays to die before she sees him, because she cannot bear it. She dies a half hour before he arrives, leaving instruction that he is to tend to her body, and then lay it to rest beside that of her lord King Arthur. Lancelot does this with great sorrow, and after ceases to eat or drink, and within weeks is dead himself. 

And there you have it, the love affair that doomed Camelot.

HUGE DISCLAIMER: Any and all mistakes or misinterpretations are my own. This is what I gathered, but I am not a medievalist. I am barely an interested layperson. I’m just a random fic writer who got obsessed with research for a story, and had to share this tragic mess. 

[physalian]

#Writer Problems

Meet the 15th character in this series with a name that starts with A! No one will notice hahaha

Going back and deleting the sighs to shake things up a bit because there’s 120 in the manuscript

*checks notes* whoops you died already, Side Character, my bad

*one paragraph* Perfect. Amazing. Poetic. Profound. *the next paragraph* what is words do?

Knocking out a 6k word chapter in an hour/Spending a week on a single transition

*slaps down a shiny new character with zero plan* You don’t know anything about them and neither do I, let’s discover them together

Realistically, there’s gotta be at least one casualty from this fantasy battle so…. *rolls dice* no not you. *rolls dice again* yep. That’ll do. Sorry, pal.

Is this badass or stupid?

Is this hot or cringey?

*checks notes* damn it, plot hole.

Upon this most recent round of edits, you, Cool Side Character, no longer made the cut. Mayhaps you’ll be recycled later.

*checks notes* damn it, I fixed that plot hole by opening another plot hole.

Jesus christ I wrote ‘just’ 308 times across 120k words?

That is definitely not how you spell that

*dreams about my characters in full HD technicolor* awwww yeah, where’s the popcorn? *cannot replicate how cool it was in actual words*

Unes- Unnecs- Unessis- Unnessessarily- Unnecessarily fuck

Do I go with the British grey or the American gray?

*cries* this epic was supposed to be a novella

Well these two were supposed to be having an argument here. But making out is fine. I’d like to see where this goes.

Oops I forgot the straights, here that nameless dude over there isn't confirmed gay, so you can headcanon that he's straight if you want

Oops I forgot that marriage exists uhhh yeah their other parents are all dead or deadbeats

Fuck love triangles here’s a double-helix dodecahedron.

One day my fandom will write so much smut about this guy and I am here for it cause I sure ain’t doing it myself

Oops I forgot people with green eyes exist but brown eyes? I got 20

*describing the writing process* It was the best of times, it was the worst of times it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.

I. Hate. Chapter. Titles.

Is this profound or pretentious?

*crafts an absolutely banger metaphor* I hope someone notices this. I put a lot of work into it

I didn’t spend 6 months perfecting this masterpiece for you to sass that the curtains are just blue. I’ll write the goddamn essay myself about all the depth behind my color choices, sir.

Picture that Spongebob dehydrated in Sandy’s treehouse meme ‘cause that’s me on round 12 of edits

I gotta be up for work in 4 hours but this monologue is more important

*distills 30 pages of worldbuilding notes into 2 paragraphs of a fluff scene* somebody will appreciate this, won’t they?

*listening to my book playlist* one day when this is adapted I hope this artist is still alive to compose the main theme cause this shit fucks

*cries* this trilogy was supposed to be just one book

If I turn this plot hole into a character flaw, they become the problem while I remain god

*looting themes, monologues, character names, and archetypes off the corpses of my dead WIPs* You won’t miss them anyway.

While it also immortalizes this person’s dickish behavior, yes, I will, in fact, write a whole character’s backstory as a middle-finger to this one bitch from 10 years ago.

*steps back to gaze at all the suffering done unto my deuteragonist* but it was worth it, wasn’t it?

*staring down yet another loathsome action set piece* whyyyyy do I do this to myself?

Nobody’ll notice my author insert if I dice them up and divvy them out in bits to my entire cast, right? Right? It’s like a shell game of what’s author and what’s fiction

These two are going to be a problematic ship one day and I will burn that bridge when I get there

*2am and I am scouring the internet for that one piece of a fort’s defenses because not remembering is the current root of my insomnia*

*Nudging my favorite character who isn’t the protagonist out onto stage* golly I hope the readers like him

Waiting. For. Editors. Takes. So. Long.

Holy butts accidental motif and deep symbolism fucks. I am so pretending I did that on purpose.

To subtext or not to subtext? Nah, to subtext. *laughs maniacally*

Trying to ride that line between so obvious it’s painful but also juuust enough foreshadowing so you slap yourself for not seeing it sooner

TIL that I have been using that word completely wrong for years. How quaint.

No you’re derivative schlock. I’m crowd surfing the books that came before and loving every second of it.

Damn I wasted a really good name on this throwaway character

*checks notes* wait, who's taller? Where does your hair part? Are you left or right-handed?

*musing over a character slated for death* damn, I really like you. Since I am in fact god, you shall live another day. *rewerites the entire finale*

God I hope people like this story

[teeth-cable]

I saw another blog bring this up but I think this is important to state.

Vivziepop is actively fucking endangering people by using demonic sigils.

Case in point: a while ago someone on the Helluva subreddit wanted to get Stolas' Sigil as an actual tattoo and only like a 1/3 of the comments were like "HOLY FUCK DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS FOR RELIGIOUS AND SAFETY REASONS"

Like I don't care if you don't believe in the supernatural or whatever. You don't FUCK with this shit. Like even if you ignore the potential issues there's the fact Stolas is a patron for neo pagans.

Like I can understand why Vivziepop uses the sigils in the show somewhat but she should NEVER sell merch with that shit.

Like one shes comidifying religious shit on a show that only us 0.1% related to the Ars Goetia and demonology. This effects people who deal with the supernatural and will make their practices be seen from the outside a some sort of quirky fandom thing and not taken seriously.

She is potentially having people open up entry points for demons.

She is not a practicing neo pagan or worshipper of any patron demons and is stealing from them without any fucking respect. She has no right to profit using their iconography. Like it would be like me using the Star of David to market my show about Jesus.

As someone who heard rumors about how the Lore Olympus fandom attacking actual Hellenists for worshiping Apollo because LO Apollo is a horrible person. What the FUCK do you think Vivziepop's cult would do if they found out someone worships Paimon or pagan worshippers in general having issues with how the Ars Goetia is portrayed?

Not surprising to me that Viv is treating actual demonic sigils as an aesthetic. She has done this before with Alastor’s Hatitan voodoo in the pilot.

Another problem I have with Viv not doing research about demonology and religions is she obviously doesn’t care about respecting these religions and spreading harmful misconceptions about them to her fans who knows nothing about them. Fans think voodoo symbols and demon sigils are just designs because of how Viv treats them in her show and merch.

There is an actual reason why these religions don’t let anyone use these symbols. I don’t care if Viv is an atheist, you still have to respect other’s religions and their rules. From what I heard people who are into demonology and these religions hate the show because of how inaccurate it is. The fans would just ignore or harass them because they dare criticize a show misusing their religion.

[drconstellation]

The Newton/Crowley Mirror-Parallel in S1

Future Echoes from the Past #2

Let me take a moment to try and explain the process of how I approach meta writing. I’m not new to this. I might be new to this fandom, but I’ve been writing metas for twenty years in other fandoms. I’m an old hand at this, and I learnt how to do it with some pretty critical masters of the game. I’ve been wrestling with this meta for several days, which never a good sign. I thought I was on the right track here but got to a point where I was trying to make my biased square blocks fit into the round holes I was expecting to see, and they weren’t, and thought, nope, it’s time to back off and see what is there instead. When things don’t fall and click into place, when you can’t see the next connection easily, when it becomes too convoluted - and actually, I think some of the story is missing in the crucial places - that's a dead end for the time being, so the meta I was expecting (and hoping) to see didn’t emerge. But there is still something there to be revealed, and it was from a bit that I didn't think had much importance.

A few days ago I posted a meta about how the paintball fight at Tadfield Manor was a loose re-creation of the Great War in Heaven that lead to the formation of Heaven and Hell. It was more a description of events and the two sides, and I didn’t assign any of the S1 characters to the celestial characters that we would have expected to be involved with the rebellion. For example, the manager Nigel strikes me as standing in for Gabriel, and jaded old Norman, who is on the verge of retirement, and who organized the “team building exercise” is most likely to be Lucifer  - he is the leader of the Yellow team, who are quite unhappy and full of complaints about the others in the office. But other than those two, the other bit players amongst our regular cast were missing, or unclear. And this was a problem, a BIG problem, because while there hints to who was Crowley, the match to Aziraphale was nowhere to be seen, and he should be there. So, let’s leave that for the time being, and move on.

In the middle of all this is Newton Pulsifer. He oddly arrives in the office, destroys the electrical system, then leaves before the war begins. And there is an even odder follow-up exchange in the car park of the office as he departs. I had to ask why - why add this in?

[It should be noted, at this point in the discussion, that while the paintball fight was written in the original book, the office scene that is the prelude to the fight, and the scenes with Newt that I’m about to discuss, weren’t. They are from the tv series only.]

I have been building up a library of notes and screenshots to help me with my metas, and Newt and Anathema have been on my radar. I came across this screen shot of Newt lying on Anathema’s bed after his accident in Tadfield and went “Huh, he looks very Crowley-coded there with this black/grey clothes and yellow and red socks. That’s not the line I of thought I had been following..”

I kept going and then @ennas-aesthetic posted this meta about Jesus in S3 and mentioned that Anathema was an Aziraphale parallel, so that would make Newt a corresponding Crowley parallel – which would explain the screen shot mentioned. Then the final pieces for this meta were these two posts, one from @mouseonamoose about their thoughts on angel!Crowley and one from @cornchrunchie on part of the exchange between Aziraphale and angel!Crowley in Before the Beginning, at the start of S2E1. I’d already had a thought about another set of lines in this part that formed a parallel to Newt, but getting a second set of lines to tie it in to this S1E2 segment was a bonus, I must say.

So where am I going with all this rambling? Right. Let’s get down to business.

Hopefully by now I’ve established that one of Newt’s roles in the office scene that sets up the rebellion is to be not just a parallel to Crowley, but a mirror – he’s kind of the opposite, in a way. It’s like they are on opposite sides of the looking glass.

At the beginning of S2E1 we are shown angel!Crowley, the Starmaker – the Engineer. And what is Newt supposed to be? A computer engineer. Only, angel!Crowley engineers light, while Newt engineers darkness. Everywhere Newt goes, he turns out the lights. Which is why when he runs into Shadwell shortly after and is given the newspaper advert that declares “ASSISTANT REQUIRED TO COMBAT THE FORCES OF DARKNESS” if he joins the Witchfinder Army that I was cackling at the irony of this. Perhaps we’d better not get sidetracked with that though.

There’s a critical point here that I’d like to highlight that I noticed, and how I made the link, because it may have implications in the future, maybe in S3. In Before the Beginning, Crowley sets everything up to get the nebula started, then there is a slight pause.

Az: …is something meant to happen? Cr: Oh, right, sorry, yes yes. Knew I'd missed one. Let there be light.

It struck me that Newt’s efforts in making anything with electricity, the modern source of light, don’t work because he doesn’t check that he’s got everything right. He blacks out his neighborhood as a child without checking the circuits, he shuts down the entire office without checking his work.

Why would you need both light and dark? You can't really have one without the other. It's the yin and yang. Its balance. To see the light you need darkness. And to see shadows you need light.

So we get a short scene of Newt heading off to office, with his Almighty mother handing out some lunch rations, and wishing him luck. Hmm. He’s holding a box that contains, amongst various things, a pot plant (a bromeliad) with a deep red flower, for all love. Ngggkgk.

At the office, Newt is given the cold shoulder by the senior co-worker opposite him (I call her “Pearls,” because I don’t have the S1 script book and I’m not sure what she’s called.) She asks his name, but never offers hers. Sounds familiar, where have we seen that before…?

Az: Um, hello. I'm Aziraphale. Cr: Nice meeting you. Okay, here goes!

@mouseonamoose mentions that angel!Crowley wouldn't feel the need to mention his name if he was a high ranking angel here, he would expect other angels to know who he was. [op adds another item to their list of pointers to angel!Crowley being a senior Archangel...it's up to 18, btw. Yes, I know its only fanon at the moment...] Just like the Supreme Archangel "fucking" Gabriel hasn't got time for a bit of social chit-chat before Aziraphale!Crowley is supposed to be executed in the hellfire in S1E6. Just get on it with it, pleb! We've got better things to do with our time!

Outside, we see Newt has been given his marching orders. He's leaving already. A sharply dressed woman in a masculine-cut suit approaches quickly. I don't know about you, but she looks like a demon to me. Black suit, red hair, pink (which is a tint of red) shirt - she's a copy of Crowley. This is another Crowley-copy about to give some internal criticism to a Crowley-mirror.

"Need a hand, Dick?"

Then she power-walks past. Newt is not even worth her time stopping for.

*Snort* - and ouch. That's a below-the belt joke.

She's just called him a wanker. In the US you might use the term jerk instead. Someone who's a bit egotistical and more in it for themselves than others. (and I never thought I'd be fact-checking the meaning of this word ever, but there's always a first time...) She's basically just equated him Gabriel, in my book (and in more ways than one.)

That doesn't sound like the Crowley we know, does it? Maybe, maybe not - but it does reveal to us a world of information about what the other demons think about Crowley, and more importantly perhaps it gives a hint of what he was like pre-Fall and why he was cast out as a sacrifice for the team, a scapegoat and example for the losing faction, in addition to the asking of questions reason.

It's quite notable that Crowley doesn't have any other demon friends or allies, even after 6000 years. Plus, he seems to have gotten special treatment during that time. Furfur complains about this in the dressing room in 1941, remarking :

"No, what's ridiculous is demons like you doing what they please. And somehow still getting on, while demons like me graft for hundreds and hundreds of millennia and never get a sniff of a promotion! Well, not this time. Expect a Legion to come for you first thing tomorrow. Enjoy your last night on Earth."

Hastur calls him "Mr Slick," and thinks he's been up on the surface of the Earth too long. And you kind of get the idea that Lord Beelzebub is holding back their hand somewhat in their conversation in S2E1 when they summon Crowley down to Hell for a little chat about the missing Gabriel.

CROWLEY: [waving flies away] Augh. Oh, I thought we had a [spits out flies] generalized understanding. BEELZEBUB: We don't. You're still a traitor. I could put a price on your head any time I wanted to.

But they haven't put a price on Crowley's head. And they don't intend to. Crowley is still being given the special treatment. Also in that particular conversation is a hint that he was once on a similar footing to Beelzebub, and Beelzebub was also a high ranking angel before the Fall - they aren't Grand Duke of Hell and Satan's right-hand demon for no reason.

Its ever-so subtle, but its there. Those traces of privilege we were pointing out that Gabriel and Beelzebub flaunt when they abscond? Once upon a time Crowley had them too. But the passing millennia has slowly worn them away until we can barely see the traces of it. Although, it still shows up occasionally.

We should finish off the scene back in S1E2 with Newt, though, because he does show us s little bit more of our mirror-Crowley in the car park scene. As the demon-lady walks past him he calls after her:

"My name's not actually Dick, it’s the car's name. You can ask me why if you like."

Aww. Poor Newt. While Crowley was stopped from asking questions, and cast from Heaven because he wanted to ask questions, his mirror-character Newt is offering to answer questions for other people. It's just that they aren't interested in doing that either. Either way, the conversation stops, doesn't it.

To finish off, I'm going to leave you with this. I know, its about Newt not being a computer engineer, but since we've been discussing how Newt is a mirror-parallel to Crowley, perhaps it's something we need to tuck away in the back of our minds for S3 as well, when the past comes back to haunt us.

Further reading in this series:

#1: The Great War of Tadfield Manor

#3: "Not Even At Gunpoint!"

[weirdozjunkary]

As much as I love Sonic the Hedgehog a whole lot, in all honesty I absolutely hate (part of) the fandom that had evolved from the franchise

(CW: I’m gonna get very ranty and angry)

(Disclaimer: this is talking about the extreme/toxic Sonic fans. You can have your own opinions on the blue blur and be valid in your criticism. But those who are actively Toxic, I have a problem with)

So many fans of sonic are needlessly so fucking rude for no fucking reason. They shit on certain characters and media and basically harass anyone who likes that stuff from it just because they personally don’t like it.

Now I’m not talking about the people who criticize Sonic because they want to see the best version of him for all audiences. To share the kind of sonic they grew up with. I’m talking about people who are literal pieces of shit and hate on it for no valid fucking reason.

So many fucking times I’ve seen people hate on things like Sonic Prime and Sonic Frontiers, and most of the time they haven’t even played or watched it (not to say you can’t have an opinion if you haven’t experienced it). It’s literally just like they think one version of sonic is good and everything else is shit and you are a fucking moron for liking it, and that is the most idiotic fucking thing I can ever hear come out of anyone’s mouth.

I know that the Sonic fandom is very passionate about how the characters they love are characterized. Heck, even I have my own thoughts and gripes when it comes to that. But Jesus fucking Christ people, can’t you just calm the fuck down? Like 60% of the time I run into some bullshit post about people hating on a piece of sonic media and also hating on people who like that part of media.

It’s just so exhausting how most of the time there has to be a multitude of people who decide to shit on something and for what? For what reason? I just don’t get why you could dislike something and decide that everyone has to fucking dislike it.

And I’m not even going to get into my thoughts about Dreamcast modern Sonic to recent modern Sonic, because that is a whole bag of marbles for another day.

Agh! Okay. That has been bubbling in me for a while. God. I could ramble on for a lot longer with a lot more profanities, but I wanted to keep this short. No hate to anyone who criticizes Sonic media. Just GOD, some people make me wanna pull my hair out!

[tategaminu]

I haven’t watched hazbin Hotel but it looks so bad, and I’m sick of seeing it on my dash (even with the tag blocked). So I’m always happy to see your posts about how bad it is

It just doesn’t look bad, IT IS BAD. I’m also kinda sick of watching it everywhere, of course people can enjoy and post whatever they want and I don’t blame them for it, it’s more a me problem but, it’s frustrating me how most recent series with good writting and animation like Blue Eye Samurai are being ignored while this thing is being treated as the masterpiece of the 21st century.

I’m not joking when I tell you I almost cried three different times at the watchparty, I was trying so hard to hold myself together. I had to use my phone in episode 7 because I was so so bored and annoyed at the whole thing. It’s been a week and I’m still emotionally wrecked over this like it’s the kind of series that affect you not because it’s impactful but because it’s painful to watch.

The series is a tumblr sexy man jumpscare when a lot of things happen but at the same time nothing happens at all, I was going to write a review but I’m already emotinally unstable after watching it I don’t think I have the strenght to think about the series anymore. I feel like I will be dreaming with twinks the whole year, if the bible was written today Jesus wouldn’t be crucified, he would be foreced to watch Hazbin Hotel over and over.

Thank you for telling me this, I'm very glad it makes you happy because I’m not fond of posting about stuff I don’t like, I would rather stick with series I like. If I love a series I want to stay in the positive and I’m not super picky, but I also enjoy storytelling and animation so my critical mind may surface sometimes with stuff that goes too far in the bad level. I just don’t like sounding like a prick because maybe people that follow me like the series but the thing is, if the creator and fandom weren’t so bad I would probably not mind much and ignore them but I can’t stand how she acts and how her fandom works, it’s genuinely depressing.

[dreamyduckz]

Incorrect The Fruitless Quests of Nabiu quotes! Mostly because I feel every fandom needs some.

Nabiu: Do you think different paints have different tastes? Karoto: They do. Nabiu: …Why did you say that with such certainty?

Nabiu: You believe me? Karoto: Nabiu, you’re the last good person on this planet. I‘d believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning.

Karoto: fast-forwards all the way through the movie Nabiu: You can't just skip to the happy ending! Karoto: I don't have time for their problems.

Karoto: Hello, my name is Failure, and you're watching my life crumble into pieces. Karoto: waves their finger and sings like they're in a Disney Channel intro

Wizzro: I wasn’t that drunk. Brocco: You colored my face with a highlighter because you said I was important. Wizzro: BECAUSE YOU ARE!

Karoto: “Struggle with depression” would seem to imply that I am bad at being depressed when I am, in fact, very proficient at being depressed.

Brocco: None of those words are in the Bible! Karoto: Psalm 119:105. “And Jesus said unto his followers, should a manlet incel attempt to mansplain the blockchain to a girlboss, may she waste his time and yassify his blorbos” Brocco: HE DID NOT FUCKING SAY THAT!

Wizzro: How would you like your coffee? Brocco: As dark and as bitter as my soul. Wizzro, shouting to someone behind the counter: I need one vanilla latte with extra cream and sugar!

Karoto: I didn’t know that air fryers are a real thing. Used to think that they were made up by the internet as a funny joke and that their purpose was to “fry air”. Nabiu: WAIT, BUT IT FRIES THE AIR TO FRY THE FOOD?? Karoto: I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS A KITCHEN APPLIANCE, MY FIRST ASSUMPTION WAS SOMETHING AKIN TO AN AIR CONDITIONER! Wizzro: IT’S NOT LIKE AN AIR CONDITIONER???? Brocco: You guys clearly don’t own an air fryer.

Wizzro: We call that a traumatic experience. Wizzro, turning to Karoto: Not a "bruh moment". Wizzro, still looking at Karoto: Not "sadge". Wizzro, staring into Karoto's eyes: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".

Nabiu: I made this friendship bracelet for you. Karoto: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person. Nabiu: You don’t have to wear… Karoto: No, I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off.

Heres the incorrect quote generator that I used to make these: Incorrect Quote Generator

okie bye!

[honeyedboneset]

NOTICE: This post is under construction as of aug 17, 2024. it is not up to date. hello! i'm boneset (or bone). thanks for stopping by my super-specific search thread! if interested, please leave a reply or dm me!

a bit about myself: she/her. I'm currently in my late 20's and have been writing/roleplaying in some shape or form for 12+ years. i'm in grad school (and will be for awhile) and work full time in mental healthcare. occasionally, days are wild. 

when it comes to writing, i generally write somewhere between 500-1k words a post. the shorter the post, the faster i can write. i definitely value someone who's writing fits with mine over length or anything like that. i'm also super flexible when it comes to post rate. if it takes a little bit, that's totally fine! especially if we do build a rapport. i want this to stay as something that's fun for both of us. it's a hobby, so it comes after everything else.

doubling. i play a canon for you, you play one for me, and i love every character as my own. OR we both play two ocs who fall in love against their will. Idc.

m!canon x f!oc preferred (or m!oc x f!oc). I know who I am. I have no shame. I’m so super cautious about m// and f// after years of running into folks treating it as a fetish.

ooc chatting. for the rps that have survived my hiatuses, it's been because we made friends, or at least friendly. i like talking, sharing head canons, all that stupid crap. tldr: i need someone to send memes to.

ooc over discord, please, after we’ve graduated to that. DMs first if you don’t mind.

email, discord, gdocs, and tumblr in order of preference for the roleplay but I'm open to any.

i am a sap for romance. less so for super slow burns. sue me. I can barely read slow burn much less write it.

500-1000 words is my sweet spot for responses, but i'm not that fast of a writer, depending on what's going on. see: why i like ooc.

hard limits: be 18+ (21+ preferred) | will not write with people who identify as male (he/him) | incest | fetish stuff | abo | pwp | pedophilia | furries/beastiality | explicitly written sexual assault | abusive relationship dynamics between main characters | heavy substance abuse | main settings being medical | most highschool settings/underage characters | genuine love triangles or infidelity between main characters

pairings and all below the break!

for fandoms, I’m going to list what I’m looking to play the oc in. I am super duper happy to play nearly any canon character for you.

the walking dead:  ＊i haven't seen the spin-off series. super comfortable going as AU as we want. ＊looking for: glenn (pls pls pls), daryl ＊will play: rick, daryl, shane, negan, others probably ＊some vibes: people who knew each other prior to the zombies meeting each other again after, dead rising vibes, traveling through the wilderness, overgrown and rundown towns and cities, towns that have gone mad, human enemies, natural threats, fluff, megamalls, amusement parks, adventure, horror, fluff, uneasiness in the calm, found family, hesitant allies

the last of us: ＊i've played both games and watched the show ＊looking for: tommy miller, m!oc ＊will play: joel, ellie, others, m!oc ＊some vibes: FIX IT JESUS, protecting family, human enemies, natural threats, antagonistic towns, lost in the wild, weird periods of domestic easiness followed by hurt/comfort hell red dead redemption: ＊i've played rdr and rdr2. kind of familiar with revolver. ＊looking for: charles smith ＊will play: arthur, john, dutch, others (but not micah) ＊some vibes: railroad turmoil, dutch has lots of plans (very little outcomes), high society meets the old west, running from the law, causing problems, adventures in the big city, trying to leave old lives behind, forbidden love, enemies to lovers

fallout: ＊i've played 1, 2, 3, 4, 76 & NV. mainly looking for nv. ＊looking for: m!oc ＊will play: ask for canons, m!oc ＊some vibes: causing chaos in the wastes, embracing the local cryptid status of the player character, toxic people everywhere, attempting to survive, mercenaries, prostitutes, salt of the earth managing to do some good against their will, traveling to other locations

original(ish) story vibes:

zombies! please zombies. love it. media inspo: l4d, deadrising, resident evil, twd, george romero

fantasy. royalty, pirates, mermaids, adventures, curses, and extra doses of romance. some assassins? hiding from responsibility? childhood friends to lovers and enemies finding common ground. media inspo: ACOTAR, lord of the rings, ever king, damsel, fire emblem, (for modern of these vibes) new protectorate by abigail kelly

urban fantasy vibes. witches and monsters, and romance and weirdness. maybe some monsters. eldritch beings. small town, rural america? media inspo: x-files, teen wolf, supernatural, stay a spell by juliette cross, scooby doo, being human, folk haven by lauren connolly, old gods of appalachia

cowboys! Modern? Traditional? I do not care i love cowboys and the south, just minus all of those….you know, issues. media inspo: red dead redemption, man from snowy river, yellow stone, lyla sage books

[phantomram-b00]

Imma use my hottake post to explain it since I felt I should give more context with this take to explain myself why I have this opinion on the topic of this.

For those who don’t know or don’t wanna look back with the link, it basically that my hottake is that I don’t like the theory of what Crowley’s angel name was/could’ve been. I know this might be a bit controversial since I think everyone in this fandom (not to assume ofc), and whilst I get the curiously since Crowley almost never talk about his time over at heaven, mostly for valid reason that I’ll get to. Before I get into this, I know it been month but I wanna still give that this haunted blog/post does contain heavy spoilers so if your planning to watch good omens or haven’t seen season two yet go watch it and come back here, or you can still read— what can I say, I’m only a phantom that have lot to say about good omens and making it everyone else’s problem. But still spoiler warning ahead! So without further or do,

let get into it and talk about our favorite snake demon and a good old fashion lover boy/girl/enby—

So, okay, seeing Angel Crowley, that’s cool and honestly wholesome— despite the poor trauma he’s going to endure and will sauntered vaguely downward for. I remember hearing the theory about how his name could be Raphael, seen some AO3 tags of Crowley used to be Raphael or just people buzzing what his name could’ve been (even some saying it could be Castiel or Cassiel). And while the curiously of it all is cool, for a while I couldn’t really pin it at first as to why I personally didn’t like it. And Idk if that make be boring or a bitch for not wanting to know, it just to me, I felt why does it matter if Crowley himself don’t even want to remember about his time at heaven?

Sure season 2 when he didn’t even say it might have been what spiked it, but i think the whole point about him is the fact that he clearly moved on from it. Does he still hold resentment? Of course, why wouldn’t he be? And from unfair circumstances too:

But, as we’ve seen from most of the flashback, he moved on from it. He using hell as long as he can (lonely? Yep, which is a perfect parallel to how Aziraphale following heaven—), he doesn’t want to remember the angel he is before, he even said it to Aziraphale when he tried to stop him from killing Job’s kids. But I think of how he’s dealt with is how his trauma grew seeing how he doesn’t want to be considered nice or kind; I feel it goes deeper than just because he’s a demon now, I believe (and this is just my observation), he rather not remember the kinder side he was once before because of how the “light” casted him away and how heaven runs things. So why would he want to be associated with those word when it remind him of his time, he rather not remember it (or in a case run away from heaven as much as he can), he rather associate himself from being mean or remember himself as a demon now rather than an angel he once was. (Even though, he is very kind and I wish to hug him. Don’t start-).

Plus, he more comfortable with his new name now, that’s why he even changed it back at the flashback of the crucifixion of Jesus as his named used to be Crawly (which honestly real.) and changed it to Crowley (now technically he changed it again to Anthony J Crowley, but we hardly heart anyone even Aziraphale say it outside from the blitz flashback, so I kinda wanna count it but I’mma not just incase, but I like the name tho-), and since then, he’ve wore that name proudly and never look back, and Aziraphale an ally he is suppose him and call him by his prefer name. That is him saying “I’m not whoever I was before, so I’m going to change my name to move on from my past”, and honestly I stand, I love the fact he want to move on from his time as an angel/move away from his deadname to be the person he is today, proud of the wily serpent ^v^

“But phantom, that still doesn’t explain why you dislike it?”

You’re right, it still doesn’t so imma explain it a bit more, I just feel it shouldn’t matter what his name was, it really up to his (or Neil’s but this is Crowley we’re talking about) own terms, it him that should be able to say his deadname. And if it never reveal, I wouldn’t care since Good Omens from both season shown, Crowley moved on from his angelic past even if he have the grudges he have now after 6000 years he rather accepts his life now and hopefully with the Angel that have supported him and stood by him. And I know the finally is making it seem like Azirapahel want to change him, but like I said here that I don’t think that the case, I don’t think he would ever want him to revert back to the person he was once before, he could never ask Crowley to do such a thing knowing the progress he made. Like I said and will say again, I think this was Azirapahle (in a poor way given the situation and that their communication is the equivalent of a ghost (invisible as fuck)) to give Crowley a change to fix the broken and toxic system heaven been running on since the dawn of time, to give Crowley the chance to fix what need to be fixed with Aziraphale, and Crowley said no, and I think rightly so in his point of view, heaven did treated everyone especially Crowley poorly and is the main source of his trauma, so I’m happy he said no, it not his place to fix the one thing that in his eyes was broken and have always been. So good jobs Crowley for standing your grounds.

But I’m getting ahead of myself, my point is that, Crowley have moved on and it shouldn’t matter what his deadname was, I think we should all respect that when it come to not just his but everyone’s deadname. Crowley clearly doesn’t have to remember his time on heaven, and I gotta respect that. Because if I was in his shoes, I wouldn’t neither if I was a bit braver than he was.

“But phantom what if it was revealed anyway?”

Again I wouldn’t care, like the commenter said (I don’t know how they feel about tagging so I won’t just to be respectful) and I do agree, if it had to be revealed it should be on his own terms. And I do agree, it is up to Crowley, he should be able to say it as it could garner the impactful moment, especially if he does say like “I’m not *this name* anymore” or whatever he’ll say in season 3, (which please let it be greenlit, I’m begging atp).

And honestly, I don’t doubt it really, it seem it might be revealed, which, fine, this is Neil’s work so gotta respect. Just I hope it on his term, and that no one else say it, I don’t even want aziraphale to say it. Just him. He deserve it.

But that’s my take on it. That’s my spew on this. Might be boring or lame to not be curious, but honestly like I said, he’ve going down a path away from heaven and accepted what happen to him. May not be in a healthiest way but regardless I love this demon and I am happy he moved on and I can’t wait to see him again in season 3, David Tennant a perfect Crowley and I wouldn’t have it any other way ^v^

But I hope you enjoy my yet another insane ramble of this show, frankly this show is becoming my life atp and I don’t hate it. I love this show, it my comfort, I’m happy to have this show; if you want to ask me any other questions you can in the AMA box or comments, but also tell me what do you guys think of this theory? Do you love it? Have qualms with it? Or anything? Tell me in the comments or reblog. As always this is phantom, imma go haunt somewhere else.

[girlwithamissingpearl]

I’m an Outlander fan. I’m also a SH fan. So why am I part of the minority in this Outlander/SH fandom?

I finally get it. I’ve had at least 5 people Dm me to say goodbye. Too toxic and mean. Each time I tried to convince them it’s not so bad, give it a chance. For the past 2 years I’ve read amazing things, posts and discussions.But last month I realized that I need a break. This fandom is my guilty pleasure. But how much pleasure is there when anon haters and trolls insert themselves into posts with comments like “I know who you are and you’re ugly” and “You’re stupid”. I realize the troll or trolls responsible aren’t exactly mental giants, but this behaviour would have been out of line when my kid was 5- from grown ass adults? Pathetic. So after a month I spent some time catching up and the one thing that really started to bug me came -from what seems like the majority in this fandom- was the insistence they really don’t care about SH or Outlander and they are just observing the “circus”. Seriously? If you regularly and consistently comment, follow, post and reblog SH’s every activity you are an active participant. You are interested. You are engaged. You are committed. You just don’t like SH. Not a prerequisite for the fandom, just don’t come at me for calling bullshit. Funny how so called “lurkers” post such specific anon posts. I read a post from a “lurker” who feels the mommies and grannies want to infantilize SH. They don’t. To be clear, I would confidently estimate at least 80% of SH fans don’t pay the comic con equivalent of the champagne room with any such thoughts. Take care of him? Absolutely. Touching, snogging or F*ucking him? Absolutely. And if you have a problem with that I’d like to introduce you to an 82 year old firecracker who will set you straight. Hey @dragonstepp!

So these “just observing don’t care” folks aren’t content just going after SH fans, they somehow feel he is not entitled to earn a living. Because he retweets posts from fans who buy his books or liquor or enjoy his show he is what exactly? Why do you care? Over a 100 celebrities have in one way or another put their name and face on tequila, vodka, gin etc. because fans purchase products endorsed by them. Thanking and acknowledging supporters is a way to build a brand. SH sells thousands of bottles. And just not to fans. Heard of Nobu? Why the outrage over the retweet’s? Like clockwork the casual “lurker’s” come together with torches and pitchforks every time he thanks a fan. Personally I’m impressed how he has been able to capitalize on his Outlander fame. Why wouldn’t he? Love him or hate him, SH is a smart guy who just happens to be really good looking.

One last thing. He’s been in the public eye over 10 years and I don’t think I’ve ever read a negative comment from his fans. Not every celebrity is so accommodating to fans. Many just say no to an autograph or selfie. Why is it so hard to believe that he just might be imperfect but still a decent man?

And if you’re thinking of coming at me as a brainless fan that SH has somehow taken advantage of/ don’t try me. And it’s not so much SH that I’m defending, but the thousands of women who consider SH a book boyfriend or fantasy man or whatever. We like him. We really like him. And we enjoy him. And why we participate in the fandom. So for the love of Ginger Jesus (sorry couldn’t resist) can someone explain why so many observers, lurkers, casual observers and haters are some of the most prolific participants in this fandom? Like him or don’t but don’t get upset if I call bullshit on your indifference.

[eddiegettingshot]

bpd anon back!!! thank you for your kind reply hima ❤️ i forgot to mention like even down to the identity issues buck has are so relatable to me as a bpd person. like the self improvement shit and software updates only to stay stuck in the same patterns is SO real

honestly id love for the show to actually address a lot of bucks mental health issues. i dont think they will though. bpd is also more commonly diagnosed in women which i think would play a factor even though all of the signs are there. tho also i dont want to see it because idk if it’d actually bring up any real discussions since the fandom tends to think buck can do no wrong lmfao

i still think buck is on that hamster wheel though, but in a different way? realizing your sexuality is a pretty big leap regardless but to me he’s still approaching relationships in the same way. tommy fell into his lap because he couldn’t acknowledge what was right in front of him (and again as someone with bpd change in relationships can be very terrifying!! even the slightest drift in a different direction can be debilitating to deal with!!). i think the bi buck arc is a stride in the right direction but not the end goal. buck needs therapy imo. id still be on my own hamster wheel without it (he also needs a break from dating because jesus christ just watching it is a lot to handle lmao)

also wouldve loved to see an actual apology on screen (i find it very hard to believe one wouldnt have taken place at all) because like no matter your mental issues or whatever you need to take ownership of your behavior. mental illness is an explanation not an excuse and it wouldve been really nice to see him take ownership with that even though eddie wouldve forgiven him regardless.

and on the eddie ptsd stuff — why the FUCK do people think he needs to address every little flaw before having a relationship? i feel that way about myself a lot of the time but he’s done so much work on himself and made so many strides???? i think addressing the shannon of it all is one thing but can my guy have permission to be happy 😭 he doesn’t have the same problems as buck and thats arguably the fucking point lmao. also with the catholic guilt thing its crazy because i grew up catholic and honestly i dont think that’s something that ever really goes away? i think it can stop bothering you and you learn to accept it but catholicism can ingrain itself pretty deep. i think eddie can move on from it but saying he has to get rid of it to be in a gay relationship when that is like the foundation of his childhood belief system is a little wack to me. like i rarely think about religion anymore and don’t really feel a huge connection to god (and i dont have a lot of emotions on it ig) but i also find myself still dealing with that mindset that growing up in religion can cause in some ways. its just kinda there

anyway eddie army stays strong 🫶 hopefully if they address shannon tonight it goes well

this is soooooo thoughtful anon you're so right!!!

eddie army we will make it through <3

[l4ndojpg]

Whumptober 2023, Day 31: Emptiness

fandom: succession | characters: roman roy, gerri kellman | ship: roman roy/gerri kellman | trigger warnings: detailed description of unspecified eating disorder, vomiting | content: roman struggles, gerri tries to help | word count: 913.

“Roman,” Gerri raps on the door to his hotel room sharply. “What the fuck are you doing? Stop jerking off and get out here. We’re going to be late.” 

“Just- just- give me a fuckin’ minute, okay?” he yells to make himself heard from the bathroom. His skin is buzzing frantically. “Just - just one minute!”

He rolls up his sleeves and kneels down beside the toilet. The problem with being at conferences, he’s found, is that if he doesn’t eat with everyone else, he seems rude. Or so his Dad said, the last time he didn’t eat at a lunch meeting. So this time, he braved it, stomached it - probably ate it a little too quickly, in fact, because once he started he found himself enjoying it. As soon as he’d taken his last bite, however, he immediately felt disgusted with himself. He’d sat there, leg bouncing up and down under the table, desperate to get away, counting down the seconds until he could fix his mistake. 

He’d run into one problem that he hadn’t anticipated: He and Gerri were representatives at a different meeting straight afterward. He’d planned to duck back to his room as quickly as possible, but she’d walked with him, shrugging that it was on the way. 

“Not that I don’t love that you’re obsessed with me Ger,” he’d said, trying to swallow his nervousness, “but you could just go on without me.” 

“I’m going that way anyway,” she raised an eyebrow at him. “What’s your problem?” 

“Nothing, nothing,” he’d lied hastily. Once they’d arrived at his room, he said “stay here. I’ll just be a minute,” and left her out in the corridor. 

He’s got to be quick, or she’ll get suspicious. He takes a deep, shaking breath, and shoves his fingers down his throat. Usually he’d be a little more careful - take appropriate steps, etc - but he really just doesn’t have time. He gags violently and begins to retch. The bile comes up and burns his throat, making his eyes sting. After he’s done, he stands up, wipes the back of his mouth with his hand, and breathes a sigh of relief as he flushes the toilet and makes his way to the vanity to wash his hands. He feels better now. He’s breathing normally and feels empty again, thank God. He wants to brush his teeth but he really doesn’t have time, so he throws a couple of mints into his mouth, swirls them around his mouth and swallows. He checks himself out in the mirror, running a hand through his hair. He hates the way he looks, hates staring back at himself, but he’s pretty sure that he looks like his normal self, not guilty or different. He breathes deep again and checks his phone as he walks out of the bathroom. They’ll be there in plenty of time. He clicks off his phone screen as he opens the door and - 

She’s got an eyebrow raised, this look on her face which makes his heart drop into the pits of his stomach. 

“Were you just throwing up?” 

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. 

He forces out a laugh. “I think your old age is really starting to get to you. You’re hearing things now? You should probably get your ears checked.” He tries to make his way down the corridor, but she stops him, hand on his shoulder. He freezes under her touch. 

“Bullshit,” she says. “My hearing is perfectly fine. Are you sick?” 

“Fine,” he acts like he’s conceding. “I just - yeah - I ate too much at lunch, you know how it is. But I feel plenty better now, no need to fret, mother hen.” 

“You barely ate at lunch.” 

Really? It felt like he ate a seven course meal. But now that he thinks about it - there was really only a little salad on his plate, and some bread - jesus. Fuck. 

“Uh, whatever you say, Ger,” he says, trying to smirk at her like she’s losing her mind. Gerri is far too sure of herself though, a quality of her’s he’s always admired. 

“I’m not in a fucking retirement home, Roman,” she snaps. “I know what I heard. What’s wrong with you?” 

He recognises the underlying concern lacing her voice, and on any other occasion he’d be jumping for joy, thinking, I’ve got you now! I clocked you! You do like me! But this is just… Roman wants to give all of himself to Gerri. He’d do anything for her. What started as morbid infatuation has turned into full blown, head over heels love. He wants to give all of himself to her, but not this. Not this. 

“Not now,” he says, hearing the pleading in his voice, knowing he sounds pathetic but unable to bring himself to care. He looks anywhere but her, eyes darting nervously around the hallway as if one of his siblings or his dad is going to jump out and say GOTCHA. “Please, just… not now. We need to get to the meeting.” 

There’s a long, uncomfortable silence, and Roman is aware of every inch of himself, from his sore ankles from standing all day at the shareholder’s meeting to the hairs on the back of his neck that are prickling. 

“Fine,” Gerri says after a moment, her voice low. Roman finally flicks his gaze back to her, and she’s scanning him with an unreadable expression. “Later, though.” 

“Later,” he lies, crossing his fingers behind his back. “Sure.”