#I want to make a post about ineffable husband and why they my comfort ship maybe one day

[flameraven]

Good Omens Fic Rec Masterpost - Part Two

 Hello hello I have read MANY MORE fics in this fandom now so it’s time to add on to my previous recs. Part One can be found here: https://flameraven.tumblr.com/post/187742832545/good-omens-fic-recs-masterpost General info! No fics rated higher than M, and that’s usually for violence not sex. I headcanon the husbands as being in an asexual relationship, so any fics I rec will have no sex, or only have sexy stuff alluded to or briefly mentioned.

The Soft Zone (TM)

all the days - G / darcylindbergh

War of Attrition- G / out_there / 8k - 3 gifts Crowley gives Aziraphale

A Meddling of Houseplants - T/ wingedspirit / 6k - Ophelia (a peace lily) is tired of Crowley and Aziraphale’s hopeless pining, and takes matters into her own leaves.

Sweetest in the Gale - T / wingedspirit / 3.8k - Gabriel can sense Aziraphale’s love for Crowley, and confronts “Aziraphale” about it before his execution

Deck the Halls - G / forthegreatergood / 18k - two idiots attempt to acquire mistletoe for the holidays in order to convey their feelings for the other.

Tartan Wrapping Paper - G / Arej / 2k - Crowley may not have quite gotten the message about the tartan all those years ago

a prize-winning philodendron - G / Elsajeni / <1k - Crowley does look, and sighs heavily. “Angel,” he says, “of all the plants you could have tried keeping, why did you start with something this fussy?”

Silver and Gold - G / asparkofgoodness / 1.5k - Crowley buys a ring.

Futile Devices - G / ticketybye / 3k - Yes, Crowley has imagined. He has craved. But being in Aziraphale’s close proximity has had to be enough. He’s not even sure he deserves that. But this, this feels like it felt to be commissioned the stars. It feels like being entrusted with something precious and fragile.

The Weight of Words Unspoken - G / rattatatosk / 1.8k - Aziraphale has always hinted to Crowley when he needed to leave. After the Apoca-wasn’t, he asks Crowley to stay.

J’Aime (I Love) - G / yourpaceangel - Crowley is searching for what the ‘J’ means.

the other way round - G / darcylindbergh / <1k - Aziraphale gets hair pets for once.

Take My Hand (Take My Whole Life Too) - G / soft_october / 1.5k - Crowley is trying not to go to fast, ends up stalled out completely. Aziraphale decides he will have to get creative. 

In Good Hands - G / Sunjinjo / 14k - Aziraphale was created wearing a golden ring. It’s now the last remaining aspect of his original attire.One day, he tries to take it off. The rest follows naturally. (Marriage Proposal)

One Golden Glance (Of What Should Be) - G / Sunjinjo / 8.5k - Crowley takes up painting after the Apocalypse.

Misfit / Safe Haven - G / Mothfluff / 2k - Aziraphale provides a safe space for the Soho queer community to gather

seasons, changes - G / the_pen_is_mightier / 2k - In the autumn Aziraphale and Crowley go out apple picking.

on the necessity of a temptation - M / darcylindbergh / 4.5k - Crowley squinted at him. He said, slowly, as if sounding around the words [...] “But doing things is what we do. Why would—what would be the point of me being here otherwise?”

In Other Words, Baby, Kiss Me - T / mikkimouse / 4.5k - Five times Aziraphale kissed Crowley and one time Crowley (finally) kissed him back.

It's Getting Hard, This Holding Back - T / ZehWulf / 13k - Crowley decides to lure Aziraphale into Explicit Gestures of Romantic Affection. Aziraphale sets a cuddle trap

give you more to hold on to - T / cryptidkidprem / 4k - Crowley nods. "It's..." He looks down at their joined hands, and takes a long, deep breath. “We’re not— We’re not supposed to need this, y’know?” He lifts their joined hands up, lets them fall again. “You and I. Angels, demons. We're not meant to need all this. This touchy-feely stuff, all this affection, this—” a hitch in his breath— “Love.”

two parallel lines -lineffability

don’t let me wake up - acuteangleaziraphale

how to let go - jlmarch

Mornington Crescent -politeanarcy

Wingfic

Symmetry in Favor - G / kedreeva / 8k - Five times Crowley preens Aziraphale's wings, and one time Aziraphale preens Crowley's.

London Calling - G / forthegreatergood / 30k - Come for Crowley’s ridiculous 1970′s bed, stay for Feelings and extensive wing pets.

Hurt/Comfort

Be Ye Therefore Merciful - T / AmberDiceless / 9.5k - Book!Verse. Crowley does something utterly unexpected, and Aziraphale must face an opponent who cannot be thwarted.

Pigeon Girlfriends with a Long Preamble - T / SleepySelfLoathing / 8k - All Crowley wanted was to spend a nice night in with his husband, so of course he ends up summoned by a bunch of cultists instead. Why would he expect anything different....This would probably be a lot easier to deal with if he wasn't wearing Aziraphale's fluffiest bathrobe.

All Creatures that Have the Breath of Life - G / Elsajeni / 4k - Aziraphale fishes a very sodden Crawly out of the water during the Flood.

Touched by an Angel (And it Bloody Hurts) - G  /hedgehog-o-brien / 7k - Aziraphale can’t touch Crowley without burning him.

Douse the Fire, Help Me Breathe  - G / Arej / 1.5k - Even demons fear fire, when they've watched their world burn.

In a City Under Aerial Bombardment  - G / battle_cat / 3k - After the church and the bomb and the books.

Small Mercies - G / rattatatosk / 4k - Crawly gets smited. Aziraphale lends a hand.

Easier Than Air - G / A_Candle_For_Sherlock / 3.5k - The world hasn't ended, and everything is fine. They're fine. It's terrifying.

attachment - T / artenon / 4.5k - Crowley crosses over to open the passenger door for Aziraphale, and Aziraphale’s attention is drawn to Crowley’s uneven gait, the light, too-quick steps and the rocking back and forth on his heels as he holds the door open and waits for Aziraphale to get in.“Oh, Crowley,” Aziraphale says, heart sinking, “your feet.”

Hell Freezes Over - M / charliebrown1234 + Turcote / 18k - The year is 2002, and Crowley and Aziraphale are sent to Alaska to investigate a decommissioned entrance to Hell. What could possibly go wrong? 

Better The Demon You Know - T / mikkimouse / 1.2k - When Crawly falls out of the sky and into the flood, he gets help from a very unexpected source.

Gently, gently - G / the_pen_is_mightier / 3k - Heaven is cold and lonely. Hell is filthy and crowded. Aziraphale badly needs to be touched; Crowley needs fresh air, and light, and space. They can’t seem to connect on days after they’ve returned from their respective head offices.

Of Firsts and Foremosts  - T / kedreeva / 6k - Aziraphale is left vulnerable and injured as his first molt approaches. Crawly comes to the rescue for the first time.

The Brazen Serpent - T / ImprobableDreams900 / 11k - Some other angels come to help Aziraphale at the end of the Isrealites’ 40-year exile in the wilderness, unfortunately for Crawley.

hold my hand tight (we'll make it another night) - G / cryptidkidprem / 3k - The night at Crowley’s flat. He’s having a hard time not panicking.

Harbours of My Own - T / wingedspirit / 30k - Crowley knows that, as a demon, his freedom is limited. He doesn't get to have a home; he doesn't get to love. Aziraphale would very much like to change that, but he, too, is limited in what he can do. It takes the better part of six thousand years, but they'll get there.

crack me open, feel me shatter - T / rattatatosk / 2.5k - Crowley dreams of the Fall. Aziraphale is there to catch him when he wakes.

Angst (w/a Happy Ending)

Where His Angel Dares to Tread - M / PinkPenguinParade / 16k - Crowley is taken by Hell. Aziraphale disguises himself as best he can for the rescue mission. Newt and Anathema help.

Remembrance of Things Past - T / Fyre / 18k - Hell takes Crowley’s memories all the way back to Eden as punishment for his crimes.

Drunk Theology - G / battle_cat / 3k - Aziraphale had been hoping tonight for Giggly Drunk Crowley, which was his favorite drunk Crowley. That didn’t seem to be how things were working out, though.

Like a River Flows - T / kedreeva / 15k - Five times Crowley was not allowed to love Aziraphale, and one time he succeeded.

The Cultivation of New Growth - T / Vitreous_humor / 3k - “I mean,” he said carefully, “if you want a plant, let me give you one of the snake plants or maybe the big coleus. They'd be good for the shop, pretty stalwart in the dark...You don't want this one, it's rotten.” “Actually,” Aziraphale said firmly, “I do want that one.”

The Holy Essence of Experience - T / Dragonsquill / 4k - They know how they feel, but giving it a name would be too dangerous.   Ineffable husbands from the beginning to the end of the world, aware and wanting.

AUs/Crossovers

be mine tonight (be mine forever) - T / artenon / 11k - Human!AU. When Aziraphale finds out his coworkers have made a bet that he won’t bring anyone to the company party, he asks his best friend Crowley to go as his date just to spite them. Things quickly spiral out of control.

Siren’s Song - T / kedreeva / 30k+ (WIP) - Siren!AU. Crowley, a lone siren, calls a ship to wreck upon his reef, but finds when he meets pirate captain Aziraphale that sirens are not the only ones able to lure another creature to their heart's desire.

Adopt Don’t Shop - G / lucky_spike / 6k - Cat!AU based on Chekov’s “Good Meowmons” comics.

The Ones Who Walk Away From Nevaeh  - T / soft_october / 15k - AU based on “The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas”

The Grinch Who Sold Christmas - T / darcylindbergh / 60k - Human AU / Hallmark Movie AU. Crowley is a big city lawyer sent to seal the deal that will destroy the quaint town of Tadfield forever, right before Christmas... and then he falls in love with the town, and a certain bookshop owner. Ridiculously sappy fluff that hits all the right notes.

The Odd One Out  T / RainyDayDecaf / 2k- A meeting of many different Crowleys and Aziraphales.

Beat Again - T / TeaCub90 / 7k - Human AU. Two neighbours keep each other and their respective conditions company in the dead of night

Outsider POV

Ophidiophobia - G / lyricwritesprose / 7.6k - Pepper is afraid of snakes. When this is abruptly revealed in an encounter with Crowley’s serpent form, she immediately goes about trying to cure herself of it.

What’s in a Name? - G / lyricwritesprose / 4k -  “You do realize,” Brother Francis said, “that Warlock is just your name, not some sort of, of directive?”

Damaged - G / lyricwritesprose / 6k - Aziraphale is struggling after the Apocalypse. Madam Tracy offers some advice. (Very good spooky/nonhuman Aziraphale in this one.)

Angel’s Favor - T/ PinkPenguinParade / 10k - A hundred years ago, Aziraphale gave one of his feathers to a woman who helped him. In the modern day, her descendant calls in the favor.

Protective Camouflage -  G/ politeanarcy/ 2.3k - The Antichrist isn’t the only one with defenses against being noticed.

Disposable - T / lyricwritesprose / 7k - Eric the Disposable Demon attempts to become Crowley’s vassal after the Apoca-wasn’t. Nothing goes the way they expect after that.

on deceiving appearances - G / asideofourown / 2k - The Disposable Demon realizes the truth of Crowley’s deception in Heaven.

Anthony J. Crowley, Retired Demon and Airbnb Superhost - G / TheOldAquarian / 3k - What are you supposed to do when you've been fired from your sweet job in Hell for thwarting the schemes of Satan, you've got a swanky flat in Mayfair, and you're looking for an excuse to spend all your time in someone else's bookshop? Obviously, you turn to the dubious world of short-term vacation rentals.

Other

the best laid schemes - T / asideofourown / 4k - How Crowley got his Rat Army

Incongruous States of Being - T / ZehWulf / 8k - “Who would win: Aziraphale or Crowley.” “Oh!” Aziraphale startles. “Well—such a question. It’s not as though either of us has engaged in so much as fisticuffs in ages, and one does need to keep up practice with these sorts of things.” His fretting dies abruptly when Crowley cuts over him clearly, baldly: “Aziraphale.”

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition - T / WoodsWitch / 12k - The Arrangement is 500 years old, and Crowley and Aziraphale have been having a fine time in Renaissance Florence. Things start to go a bit pear-shaped with the arrival of a Friar Savonarola, so Crowley suggests that they meet up in his favorite refuge from the rest of medieval Europe: Spain. ((Don’t let the title fool you, this is an incredibly in-depth and well-researched historical fic and deserves way more hits than it has.))

[fanfic-corner]

A-Spec Across Fandoms

23/10/20 - I know I have already done an a-spec post for Destiel fics, but it is asexual awareness week next week, so I thought I’d read a load of fics with ace characters from a few different shows I like! We have some Supernatural, some Doctor Who, some Sherlock, and a couple from Good Omens. Happy ace week!

Supernatural

broken when I’m lonesome by SailorChibi on AO3. (7,015 words).

Tags: Asexual Castiel, Demisexual Dean, Panromantic Castiel, Biromantic Dean, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, PTSD, Dean Has Self-Esteem Issues, Dean Has a Sexuality Crisis, Angst, Fluff, Touch-Starved, Comfort, Platonic Cuddling, Castiel is Not Oblivious, comments that could be taken as ace-phobic.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: After being saved from hell, Dean's old methods of coping aren't working anymore: he's not sexually attracted to anyone, and he's not interested in sex no matter how many times he climbs into bed with hot, naked women. Sam is convinced that his brother is just depressed, but Dean knows this goes deeper than that. He still craves the intimacy that can make him feel safe. Fortunately, Castiel is there to both understand and provide.

Notes: This fic really hit home. I’m not sure if it is because almost every person I have ever talked to has had some form of this conversation, but it was still cute.

La Vie A Plus by K_K_TiBal on AO3. (6,260 words).

Tags: Punk Castiel, Asexual Castiel, College/Uni AU, Roommates, oh my god they were roommates, College Student Dean, College Student Castiel, Pining, First Kiss, Misunderstandings, Art Student Castiel, Love Confessions, Gabriel is a Little Shit, Tattooed Castiel.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Dean Winchester is hopelessly, head-over-heels in love with his best friend and roommate, Castiel. Castiel - with his blue hair, and his tattoos, and his artwork, and his perfect everything. Dean never stood a chance, really. It only sucks because, as far as Dean can tell, Castiel is definitely not interested. But love, much like art, has a way of being unpredictable. Even if you think you know where you're going with it.

Notes: The angst is strong in this one! Again, I feel like many aces have had this conversation or that fear that people (allos, especially) may not want to be with them.

Exposed to What You Hide by SailorChibi on AO3. (1,890 words).

Tags: Alternate Universe - Hunters, Creature Castiel, Procubus Cas, Asexual Castiel, Established Relationship, Hidden Relationship, Assisted Suicide, Cuddling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: "We think Cas is a procubus," Sam blurted out. Then he winced and yelped when Charlie kicked him under the table. "Ow!" "Smooth, Sam," Charlie snapped. Dean looked back and forth between them, realizing that they were both 100% serious. "A procubus." "Basically it's the sexless version of an incubus or a succubus," Charlie explained before Sam could. "It's... it's a demon that kills people by sleeping with them." She was chewing on her thumbnail now, eyes big and apologetic. Sam had done one better pasting on a truly epic kicked puppy expression of apology. "You think Cas is killing people by cuddling with them," Dean said, just to be sure. 

Notes: Well that took a bit of a turn. I’m not sure why, but I love fics where Cas keeps bees, it was just so cute to see him that happy! (Even if he was crazy. Shut up).

Consolation by Trell on AO3. (1,195 words).

Tags: Aromantic, Aromantic Relationship, Asexual Relationship, Asexuality, Asexual Character.

My Rating: 3 stars.

Description: In which both of them are ancient, and neither of them are in love with each other.

Notes: Okay, I would first of all like to say that I do not ship Cas and Ten. I was kind of curious though, and clearly whoever wrote this ships Destiel and Ten/Rose. That being said, I am here for some angst; poor Cas and his unrequited love, and poor Ten because all his friends are dead.

Doctor Who

don’t hold this war inside by WishingTree on AO3. (1,824 words).

Tags: Asexual Yaz, Pre-Relationship, Asexual Character.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: “It’s just - I’m scared,” she finally manages. “Scared?” the Doctor stills where she’s been trying to roll up the sleeves of her coat, shoving the material of one arm over her elbow and asking, “Scared of what?” Yaz doesn’t answer, can’t answer, and the Doctor goes to reach for her, aborting the movement halfway and only managing an awkward swaying motion. “...Scared of me?”

Notes: Thasmin is a ship that, had I not stumbled across it on Instagram, would never have thought of on my own. Much like Sabriel, however, now the idea is in my head, I ship it! Also, the author in this fic manages to perfectly capture the Doctor’s personality, which is quite an impressive feat.

Whatever fits my skin by lloydsglasses on AO3. (1,481 words).

Tags: Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Cross-Generational Friendship, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Canon Gay Character, LGBTQ Character, Aromantic, Pride.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: “So, does that happen to you a lot?” Bill asks once they’re safely back in the Doctor’s study, each cradling a mug of tea. “Getting snogged by gorgeous women as a thanks for saving their lives.” The Doctor sets his teacup down gently on the desk, mouth pursing in distaste. “Far more often than I’d like.”

Notes: Oh my god that was so (fucking) cute! Now I want more fics of characters going to pride. Maybe for next June. Also, I’m just saying that I hated Nardole and nothing you can say to me will make me change my mind.

Take It, Leave It (But you’d better believe it) by lloydsglasses on AO3. (760 words).

Tags: Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Cross-Generational Friendship, Asexual Character. Aromantic, Canon Gay Character, Coming Out, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, LGBTQ Themes.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: “I told my foster mum that I’m gay. Now she keeps trying to set me up with guys." 

“Ah,” says the Doctor, with a frown. “That seems… counterintuitive.”

Notes: I’ve always loved Bill and Twelve’s relationship, and this is such a cute scene! It is a crime we haven’t got more River Song content, by the way.

Crescendo by tenscupcake on AO3. (6,013 words).

Tags: Fluff, Asexual Character, Romance.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: As her relationship with the Doctor slowly develops into something a little more than friendship, Rose starts to wonder what's holding him back. But one fateful night, he confesses something that makes her realize she never had any reason to worry.

Notes: Beautifully written! I don’t think I’ve ever read a Ten/Rose fic before, but I have always shipped it and it is adorable.

Sherlock

The Important Bit by Solshine on AO3. (9,984 words).

Tags: Asexual Sherlock, Platonic Relationship, Amarriage, Same-Sex Marriage, Bromance, Domestic.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Just where exactly is the line between “to love” and “to be in love”? What difference is required between “flatmate” and “husband”? (Besides the rings, obviously.) No, the important bit is that they have each other. Thirty years, give or take, in an atypical marriage. Basically a long bit of platonic domestic fluff.

Notes: Oh, this is absolutely one of my favourite Johnlock fics now. Absolutely adorable (because I love domestic Johnlock okay), I nearly cried, and now I want all the art of Sherlock with a fancy old cane!

the art of getting by (isn’t really so artsy at all) by stupidmuse_hatesme on AO3. (6,521 words).

Tags: Asexuality, Asexual Character, Asexual Sherlock, Romance, First Time, First Date, Slash.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: “He's treating things like they're normal! Things are not normal.” Sherlock drags his hands from his mussed up hair and covers his face. “You aren't helping much,” he mumbles into his palms. “I hope you know that.” The skull only grins from his perch and says not a word. “Really, you're supposed to do more than just--sit there.”

Notes: John is so unbelievably sweet in this, but Sherlock was bit OOC.

what does the world get by coloredink on AO3. (2,302 words).

Tags: Asexuality, Asexual Sherlock, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship.

My Rating: 3 stars.

Description: A women's magazine quiz leads Sherlock to investigate the nature of love.

Notes: A cute lil’ fic about exploring your (in this case, lack of) romantic and sexual attraction.

Surprisingly Simple by heeroluva on AO3. (855 words).

Tags: Asexuality, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, First Kiss, Touching, Fluff, Cuddling and Snuggling. My Rating: 3 stars. Description: In which John is asexual, and Sherlock never asks. Notes: Pretty cute, and it is always nice to see a character who is just cool with it, without some massive explanation. I can dream.

Good Omens

An Honest Surrender by Kedreeva on AO3. (4,107 words).

Tags: Ineffable Husbands, Post-Apocalypse, Love Confessions, Marriage Proposal, Marriage, First Kiss, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Soulmates, Soul Bond, Aziraphale’s True Form, Crowley’s True Form, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: "For six thousand years," Crowley said, voice cracking, "I have wanted something I couldn't have, because I asked the wrong questions. But I'm asking the right one now. The only one that matters." In which Aziraphale follows Crowley home after the nonpocalypse.

Notes: Seriously, reading Good Omens fics always makes me so relaxed and sleepy it is unreal. I need to read them more often. Anyway, this is such a cute explanation for the final episode, and I loved it!

You’re the Only Prayer I Need by Kedreeva on AO3. (5,507 words).

Tags: Ineffable Husbands, Wingfic, Angel Wings, Angel/Demon Relationship, Wing Grooming, Bathing/Washing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Asexual Relationship, Snake Crowley, Love Confessions, Trust, Non-Sexual Intimacy.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Crowley had, in the six thousand years Aziraphale had known him, shed his skin exactly twice that Aziraphale knew of. Both times he had disappeared without a trace, having retreated somewhere very safe and very, very unknown to hide while he was so vulnerable, and Aziraphale had never thought to ask beyond that information. Everyone was, he had supposed at the time, entitled to their secrets. The problem was that he had stumbled directly into this secret now, and there was hardly a graceful way out of it.

Notes: The sheer level of trust is adorable, and I’m always here for snake Crowley.

A Little Less Celestial by Kedreeva on AO3. (2,360 words).

Tags: Non-Sexual Intimacy, Non-Sexual, Sharing a Bed, Ineffable Husbands, Literal Sleeping Together, Wingfic, Cuddling & Snuggling, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Aziraphale accidentally falls asleep, and Crowley teaches him sleeping isn't so bad, really.

Notes: Oh my God, this was so calming to read in a way I really can’t describe? Also, now I want a bookshelf bed.

Just One Yesterday by Kedreeva on AO3. (1,952 words).

Tags: True Form Crowley, True Form Aziraphale, Ineffable Husbands, Angst with a Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Post-Apocalypse, Time Travel, Time Loop, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Canon Compliant, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Missing Scene.

My Rating: 3 stars.

Description: Crowley and Aziraphale didn't stop the apocalypse on the first try, but you know what they say... try, try again.

Notes: I could not tell you the plot of this, but that image of Crowley’s true form was beautiful (and the artwork was phenomenal!).

So, there we have it! I hope you enjoy them, and have a nice week. By the way, if you have instagram, please would you consider following @justaceofficial? They are trying to get funding for a TV series which focuses on an asexual main character, and they ran an asexual advent running up to this week!

[tranquil-space-ninja]

Bookworm (DRLAMP)

Based on this.

Note: Roman and Remus are not in a relationship with each other, just the other sides.

Tw: cursing, spoilers for Be More Chill (book), furries are mentioned, homophobia mentioned, Good Omens spoilers, Game of Thrones spoilers/references

--------------------------------------------------

It was 3 AM. Logan woke up to the sound of something banging in the kitchen. Remus had better not be playing bongos again. He slid out of bed and tiptoed out of his room, closing the door gently so as not to wake the others. On his way down the hall, he met Patton as he was slipping out of Roman's room. Logan leaned down and kissed his forehead. "Hello, Patton," he murmured. Patton smiled sleepily at him.

"Hello, dear."

"Did I wake you?"

"No, no, the kitchen did." Logan put his arm around Patton and walked to the kitchen with him. When they reached the kitchen, they heared hushed shouting along with the banging. Logan slowly opened the door as Patton tried to wake himself up more, both fully expecting to have to coax Remus up to bed or take a set of drums by force.

They were half right.

Remus was indeed there, but instead of bongos, he held a thick, hardcover book with a blue and white cover. Roman was also there, and he was holding a purple paperback of a similar length. The twins were fencing with a couple of frying pans and arguing. There was hot chocolate dripping off the table with two mugs on their sides in the middle of it, and the shards of broken dining ware across the kitchen.

"Be More Chill has shorter chapters to appeal to less avid readers and book addicts alike, a full cast of quirky characters, and the whole book was a dramatic romantic gesture for Christine!"

"Cursing isn't bleeped out in real life! Teenagers say fuck, ass, shit, dick, etcetera! And what's with the big deal about how straight Jeremy is? Dear Evan Hansen is so much better. Like, Jarred."

"First of all, while there is admittedly a weird emphasis on Jeremy's straightness, at least no one's homophobic. Like, Mrs. Heere even added, 'We're good parents,' after she told Jeremy that they would be fine with him being gay. If anything, it throws shade on homophobes. Be More Chill also gives furries much needed positive representation. And, if Jarred is your only reason why Dear Evan Hansen is better, then you may as well give up now."

"The plotline of the Dear Evan Hansen book is closer to the musical."

"The Be More Chill book was written before the musical!"

"I like them both," Patton mumbled sheepishly. Roman and Remus froze and turned to look at Patton. Logan crossed his arms at them. The twins lowered their frying pans and turned to face their boyfriends.

"Hey, Daddy, hey, babes," Remus said guiltily.

"It's three in the morning," Logan said.

"We couldn't sleep," Roman said. "I wanted to read for a while, but I didn't want to wake you up, Pat."

"Sorry," Remus added. Patton sighed.

"It's alright. I'll help you clean up. Sweetheart, we can clean up the table. Sweetpea, could you sweep up the broken dishes? Logan, dear, you go back to bed." Roman and Remus nodded.

"What about the dishes," Roman asked.

"They can wait till morning."

***

Janus tried in vain to comfort Roman as he bawled in his lap. "It's going to be okay," he said awkwardly.

"No, it's not," Roman sobbed. "George lost his partner in crime, and Lupin and Tonks are never going to meet their son, and J. K. Rowling's such a TERF that I can never read the books the same again." Janus rubbed his back gently.

"I told you, my love, Harry Potter was removed from Rowling's custody the minute she posted that tweet. We, the fandom, and Starkid adopted it so it could live its best life." Roman sniffled as Janus wiped away his tears.

"Can I still make Thomas bitch slap her if we see her in public?"

"Sure."

***

Roman burst into Virgil's room. "Buggre alle thif for a Larke." Virgil set his spider into her terranium and looked at Roman expectantly. "Crowley calls Aziraphale angel. They go on lunch dates to the Ritz, they drink together, they know each other better than anyone in the world, they bicker over Crowley's speed like a fucking old married couple, and everyone assumes they're gay. But suddenly that asumption is wrong because, 'angels are sexless unless they make an effort,'? Does Aziraphale not love Crowley? Or is it secretly implying that Aziraphale and Crowley are making an effort so they can fuck? Or are they gay asexual? What does it mean? Are they together? Are they--"

Virgil cut him off with a laugh. "You spend too much time with your brother, babe."

***

Roman and Virgil were cuddling on the couch, watching Good Omens. Roman sighed as Aziraphale appeared to Crowley in the bar. "That didn't happen in the book." Virgil sighed this time.

"I know. I know you read it at least twice."

"Like, I love Ineffable Husbands. They make me want to run around the Mindpalace wearing a rainbow tartan cape and sunglasses and call all of you angel, but like. That wasn't in the book."

"I know, I know."

"This scene was so much better. Az just popping in on everyone asking, 'Where am I?' Amazing."

"Ro?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up and let our gay occult beings flirt."

"Angels aren't occult. They're ethereal."

***

"Sweetheart," Patton yelled. "Dinner's ready!"

"Coming," Roman yelled. He needed a bookmark. This fight between Percy and Antaeus was critical, and he could not loose his place. Roman frantically scrambled around until he found a small yellow shoelace. He picked it up quickly and placed it in the fold between the pages. The shoelace hissed as he closed the book. Roman screamed and dropped it on the ground, scrambling backwards. Janus ran into the room, a panicked look on his face. "Roman? Are you okay?" He glanced down at the floor as the yellow shoelace crawled up his keg. Janus sighed.

"Roman, did you use Luci as a bookmark again?" Roman nodded, tears in his eyes. "How does she keep getting out of her enclosure?"

"S-sorry." Janus sighed.

"It's alright, love. Just check and make sure something isn't alive before you use it as a bookmark."

***

Roman leaned over the book and carefully highlighted a sentence pink. He wrote next to it, 'Ship. Ship. Ship.' He tucked the highlighter behind his ear, only to draw it back a second later. This time, he wrote, 'foreshaddowing?' above the sentence. And he continued reading.

***

Roman was practicing his panflute. He gently blew over the pipes to create a softer, lower sound. He struck a wrong note. "Damn it," he muttered. "It's like little, tiny shells drifting in the cold. Brave soldier boy comes marching home." He started the song again, playing each note with care. He had to start over several times.

Patton walked by with a laundry basket just as Roman was starting over again. He stoped to listen. As he recognised the song, he began to sing along softly. Roman finished it perfectly this time. Patton walked over and kissed the top of his head. "That was good," he said. "Grover would be proud." Roman's face lit up and Patton smiled.

"Really?"

"Really." Roman hugged Patton tightly.

"I love you so much."

***

Remus snorted. "That's dumb. Those dragon eggs are dead. They're never gonna hatch." Roman left the room silently. The other Sides glanced at each other nervously. They wanted Roman there at Game of Thrones night, but they didn't want to break up a fight. Then Roman came back, heaving a giant textbook. He set it down on the floor and opened it, flipping through the pages. Finally, he stopped and pointed to a passage.

"Well, it says here that dragon eggs heat up when they get closer to hatching time. Besides, they don't call Danaereys Mother of Dragons for nothing." Everyone groaned.

"Spoilers," Patton scolded.

--------------------------------------------------

Taglist:

@kawaiikat54

@obsessedalli

@royal-arts

@baka-monarch

[ineffably-effable]

further good omens fic recs

It’s been awhile since my last reclist post so here goes, please enjoy the rewards of my complete lack of self-control when it comes to this ship.

Please reach out if I’ve missed a tumblr tag, or drop a note if you have any recommendations I’ve missed! ( 31 recommendations underneath the cut )

(51k) Acts of Service by seekwill / @jasmine-cottage-uk

After receiving direct instruction from God, village reverend Aziraphale leaves his countryside congregation to serve the underserved and in-need at an urban church in London, a transition made all the more complicated by the mysterious and handsome Crowley, who always seems to appear when Aziraphale least expects him.

mood: pining, denial, secrets, idiots-in-love. 

(Warning: Don’t start reading this one at midnight expecting to put it down. Learn from my mistakes.) 

(44k) Mirror, Mirror by ImprobableDreams900 / @improbabledreams900

Crowley from an evil!au swaps places with our Crowley.

mood: butterfly effect, identity theft, Aziraphale!whump, badass!Aziraphale  

(40k) The Strong Tower by BuggreAlleThis

After the failed executions, a vengeful angel takes it upon herself to neutralise the threat presented by Crowley and Aziraphale.

mood: aziraphale!whump, protective!crowley, hurt/comfort, pining and fantastic world building.

(23k) You Might Think I'm Crazy (All I Want is You)   by soft_october / @soft-october-night​

Since the next shop over closed down, Aziraphale's had a peaceful few months, barring those unpleasant interactions with the men in cheap suits who keep trying to persuade him to sell his shop. But now a (handsome) new owner has taken up residence beside him and, horror of horrors, he wants to open up a coffee shop.

mood: fledgling friendships, obviously-in-love-to-everyone-but-themselves, almost-letting-your-doubts-and-insecurities-ruin-things, if-only-these-dumb-bastards-knew-how-to-communicate

(23k) names in history by lagaudiere

Maybe he’d shown Crowley how to perform a few miracles, but that Crowley had taken to them so well was surely a sign that he wasn’t all bad. And maybe Aziraphale had let himself be called upon to perform a few temptations, but that was just testing the will of the faithful if you looked at it from a different angle.

mood: slow-burn, through-the-ages, beautifully written.

(22k) This Soul Outstreaming by Rend_Herring 

Aziraphale constructs intricate rituals to touch the skin of other men (by “men” I mean Crowley).

mood: slow-burn, through-the-ages, forbidden love, UST, beautifully written. 

(29k) 5 Times Aziraphale was Almost Discorporated and One Time He Actually was by charliebrown1234 / @charliebrown1234

What it says on the tin.

mood: Aziraphale!whump through the ages, protective Crowley, hurt/comfort, wonderful characterizations.

(20k) In Pleasure's Clothes by obstinatrix, wishwellingtons

Three Times Aziraphale Stalked Crowley In Gay Clubs And One Time He Moped At Wilde’s Grave.

mood: jealousy, pining, miscommunications, idiots-in-love

(18k) Soft (A Love Story in Three Bites) by mia_ugly / @mia-ugly​

Crowley was an angel, once. Before she fell. Aziraphale was a warrior (she fell too. It just took a little longer.)

mood: ineffable wives thoughtfully done and beautifully written, pining, emotional vulnerability, hurting the ones you love, references to gothic romances that absolutely slay me, switching POVs between Aziraphale and  Crowley.

(18k) On Earth as it is in Heaven by JMA

Aziraphale was at Crowley's trial...the first one.

For six thousand years Aziraphale felt like an angel who has fallen, waiting for Heaven to realise. His fear and doubt has shaped and defined him. Now, with the Armageddon over and Heaven and Hell off their backs it is finally time to come clean.

mood: betrayal, pining, misguided attempts at atonement, miscommunication and forgiveness 

 (15k) Through Every Door by darlingred1 / @darlingred1​

After thwarting the end of the world, Aziraphale begins to avoid Crowley, and Crowley accidentally awakens his own repressed lust.

mood: mutually-pining-idiots, miscommunication,  immortal-beings-taking-turns-with-their-single-brain-cell, surprisingly-Crowley-has-first-dibs

(16k) Least of All by stereobone / @stereobone​

Every so often, Crowley talks to God.

mood: Crowley worrying after Aziraphale through the ages. Beautifully written, fantastic Crowley perspective.

(14k) Wine Fraud and Other Worthy Pursuits by ImprobableDreams900  / @improbabledreams900​

When Aziraphale, rare book dealer and part-time wine collector, encounters a bottle of 1844 Château Lafite-Rothschild he suspects isn't all that it claims, he becomes determined to track down the truth.

Unfortunately, the finger of suspicion seems to point at fellow wine collector Anthony J. Crowley, whom Aziraphale is already well on his way to befriending.

mood: suspicious Aziraphale and fledgling friendships  

(12k) Laugh When It Sinks In by Tenoko1 / @tenoko1​

Crowley stopped them in their trek, slipping his arm from Aziraphale’s grasp to face him, hands on his shoulders. “Are you sure you’re alright? A-are you having, like, a mid-life crisis or something now that Heaven’s cut you loose? You’re worrying me. What’s next? Cherry red sports car?”

mood: making a home for yourself and your charmingly oblivious life partner 

(10k) The Original Bar Joke by deathbycoldopen / @deathbycoldopen​

The way Crowley saw things, it was all one big joke, with him as the punchline.

mood: drunk!pining, idiots-in-love, jealous!Crowley, straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back moments, drunk!confessions

(8k) did you open up your heart there? by weatheredlaw / @weatheredlaw​

Aziraphale and Crowley meet over and over and over again. Aziraphale doesn't know what Crowley is, or why their souls can't seem to be parted, but he is a creature of love, and he's not going to argue with that.

mood: ready to have your heart broken over and over and over?

(7k) The Ark by rfsmiley / @redfacesmiley​

We’ve all been assuming that it takes them 6,000 years to figure it out, but what if it takes 6,300?

Or: the ineffable husbands evacuate a dying Earth.

mood: ineffable dystopian sci-fi romance (and yes, I love that this is a mood I can use to describe a good omens fic).

(7k) Where Thou Art by Mottlemoth / @mottlemoth​

A late-night bus to London, a few human comforts, and a long overdue confession... nothing will ever be the same for an angel and his demon.

mood: we-might-be-dead-by-tomorrow-love-confessions

(5k) Love Stories by goodomensblog  / @goodomensblog

Crowley goes too slow, Aziraphale drinks copious amounts of alcohol, and the bookshop is (very nearly) set on fire. Again.

mood: drinking because you’re an idiot in love (or because you’re in love with an idiot), looking after your drunk mate (only he’s not your mate he’s the love of your life and he’s finally starting to get that)

(4k) A Metaphor Of Some Kind by copperbadge / @copperbadge​

After the world doesn't end, Hell gets Crowley and Heaven gets Aziraphale, but not for very long.

mood: witty with great voices, loads of fun

(4k) One Sweet Moment Set Aside For Us by Arej 

Tattoos are like stories you write on your skin, and they'll say things for you if you'll let them. Or perhaps prompt other people to say things.

Or, Crowley is just drunk enough to get bold and let his guard down, and it leads to something he never thought he'd be allowed to have.

mood: pining, touching, reverance, love confessions

(3k) Something To Talk About by iamtheenemy (Steph)

Aziraphale jumps to some very inaccurate conclusions.

mood: pining and misconceptions, let’s see if we can make Crowley have an aneurysm.

Wow! Thanks for scrolling this far! You’ve unlocked the secret  “I’ll be in my bunk” section of the rec list! ;)

(That’s not to say the fics above don’t have their own hot scenes, or that the fic below are only  pwp, but these are the fics where the plot is either focused mostly on sex or the build-up to sex.)

(4k) left with no trace, as if not spoken to by drawlight / @drawlight​

Aziraphale's finger brushes against the edge of Crowley's hand. The theater is packed, it is dark. Everyone is watching the stage (no one is watching them). "Do you - ?" "Yeah, angel."

mood: Shakespeare may not have deserved this, but this reader is glad this exists.

(4k) I Tempt, You Thwart... Right? by AEpixie7 / @knightofthesevenfandoms​

Crowley accidentally-on-purpose roofies Aziraphale and then feels bad about it because Aziraphale is so high that he can't remember how to sober up.

mood: serious wing kink, drug-induced-loss-of-inhibitions

(6k) Appetite by spunknbite / @spunknbite​

Crowley places the macaron against Aziraphale’s lips with more reverence than the angel had thought him capable. “It’s alright, angel. Just take a bite.”

mood: drunk sex, overcoming inhibitions, first time, hand feeding 

(6k) The Better Part of Valour by obstinatrix

Said I, a few weeks ago: "I feel there’s also room for e.g. bedsharing fic where the apocalypse has Not Happened and they’ve fallen into queerplatonic (or so they think) bedsharing and Crowley thinks he’s alone in being driven slowly to distraction by it, so he says nothing. Then one night he wakes when it’s still dark, and at first he doesn’t know why, until he hears Aziraphale’s breathing a little raspier than usual, and feels the very slight trembling of the bed."

mood: bed-sharing-with-serious-insecurities-and-misunderstanding

(7k) a treatise on your fingers in my hair by Nimravidae / @tooeasilyconsidered​

Crowley sleeps for two days, his hair is a mess, and all it takes is a touch. Like a catalyst. Like striking flint, like a matchstick, like touching fire to gunpowder

mood: all that pent up UST has to go somewhere 

(9k) Released by vaguely_concerned / @vaguely-concerned​

After they get together Aziraphale has some lingering Ideas about his brief stint in the Bastille; Crowley is happy to help him explore them. Hijinks, as they say, ensue.

mood: french revolution era role play w/ feelings, fantastic dialogue. 

(17k) One Night In Bangor (And the World's Your Oyster)  by Atalan / @seaskystone​

Heaven and Hell share a corporate party once per millennium. This time someone's had the bright idea of issuing a challenge to the demons of Hell. Crowley has no intention of missing the opportunity; Aziraphale's just enough of a bastard to make him work for it.

mood: flirting and first times

You’re still here? Can’t get enough? Well check out these amazing WIPs!

Slow Show by mia_ugly / @mia-ugly​

The Ineffable Pining Showmance AU that no one asked for.

mood: a more accurate summary would be the: ineffable pining showmance AU that no one knew to ask for, and everyone wanted more of. The characterizations in this are amazing. Crowley as a fallen film star is perfection. 

Shifting Heaven and Earth by BuggreAlleThis

For most of history, since he narrowly avoiding Falling from Heaven with Lucifer, Crowley has been working for the Angelic Corruption Unit. This ended up being far more boring than he hoped it would be, but things change when he is assigned to go undercover on Earth. His mission is to investigate Aziraphale, an infamous angel who has been on Earth since its Creation, and whom Heaven is sure is guilty of corruption or dereliction of duty. 

mood: slow-burn, betrayal, regrets,  aziraphale!whump, bamf!aziraphale

the bucket list by darcylindbergh / @forineffablereasons

If you’re going to go native, you might as well go all the way.

mood: saying the absolutely wrong thing at the wrong time, reaching your breaking point, miscommunication and heart break.

Still here? :)

My previous good omens recs post can be found here [x]

[professordrarry]

So let it be known that Drarry is the only ship I've been able to read besides Ineffable Husbands in over a year. I am a SUCKER for hurt comfort. (been called an angst gremlin on multiple occasions) so maybe harry finding draco struggling to produce a patronus? I adore 6th year and 8th year fics. maybe Draco rambling about how things used to be but then Voldedickface happened and ya know??? But honestly you're the amazing one here so PLEASE do what you like with this. 😗

I WOULD LIKE TO FIRST ACKNOWLEDGE AND APOLOGIZE that my brain IMMEDIATELY latched onto one *very* specific part of your ask and then. Just... RAN WITH IT. Ugh. I am so sorry. I hope you don’t hate this. Also, it’s now nearly 4 k and not done so I’m going to post it to AO3 and there will be...more...WHY AM I LIKE THIS. Thanks for the ask. It really kicked my butt into gear even though it wasn’t even sort of what you wanted..........

Lead Me Up the Mountain

It was the panting that eventually became impossible to ignore. Harry had been pretending that he hadn't heard Malfoy for most of his assent, but the bloody panting as he caught up to Harry was difficult to pretend his way out of.

"Will you be quiet ?" he hissed to the sound behind him, ducking behind a tree near his right and looking out to the clearing before them. "Are you trying to make this take three weeks rather than three days?"

"You forgot me!" Malfoy all but shouted, despite his lack of breath and sweaty pallor.

Harry held back his malicious grin. "I didn’t. I just left on time. Besides, Albert had your gear. You not catching up is on you,” he said lightly.

"Listen, Potter. I'm the reason your funding came through for this trip. I don't care if you like this but I demand that you—"

Now Harry did laugh. "Demand? Ha. Look at you, Malfoy. You have no bloody clue what you're doing on a mountain. Now, you insisted on coming along when Costas broke his foot. And then you were an hour late for departure. So, the only remaining question is...are you going to start listening to me, or are you going to die on this mountain?"

Malfoy started to mumble something about procedural briefs and correct resource allocation, and Harry sighed deeply and cleared his throat. The glare it earned him was well worth it, as Malfoy pushed his damp hair back off his forehead and stood straight in challenge.

"Well?"

"Yes. Fine. Lead on, oh golden one."

Malfoy, of all the people Harry had ever known, was the most brilliant at making perfectly normal words sound like you were being cussed out. In the five years that their companies had been working together in medical research, Harry had become particularly adept at earning these violently toned pseudo insults. The fact that he had earned one now made him grin.

"Good. Let's go. It'll be dark soon. We need to set up the tents."

Malfoy continued to grumble under his breath, but he did follow him into the small copse of trees that Harry had been headed toward for an hour. They weren't at the summit, not by a long shot; here, the wind was held at bay by the small trees and shrubs, and the clearing offered them some protection and warning of animals that may approach. Still, Harry spent the first ten minutes of his time casting a variety of common shields and barriers.

"What is it exactly you think you're doing?" Malfoy suddenly announced, interrupting Harry's counter-jinx alarm.

"Making sure you don't die by a bear. That'd be a shame."

"Shields?" Malfoy sneered. "You think you're casting shields ?"

For the first time that day, Harry bristled. Malfoy was normally just a professional reality. They didn't often work side by side, and so most days, Harry could ignore his presence as a mere hangnail. Annoying if you thought about it too often, but usually avoidable if you were busy. During board meetings, they would occasionally find common ground, in fact, arguing a point in fine detail until the chair would silence them out of pure frustration. They never acknowledged these moments of solidarity, but they had led to a working relationship that could be considered tolerable. At least, these days, Malfoy was quiet and humble and abashed. Most of the time. Usually, Harry could count on him to be on the side of his patients. Which was close enough to an ally for him to comprehend the dry, acerbic wit that he reserved for Harry.

This voice, however, was pure Hogwarts days. Potions class, to be exact. Gone was the genial voice Malfoy used in front of bosses and clients. Gone was the veneer of respectful humility. This was full Slytherin sneer, and Harry wanted to punch him.

He instead rolled his neck and lowered his wand. "Sorry, Malfoy," he declared, emphasising the name. "You can finish up here and I'll set up your tent, will I? Your highness ."

For whatever reason, the insult got under Malfoy’s skin. Harry watched him recoil slightly before remembering himself and drawing his wand. He didn't reply, turning instead to the barrier and murmuring incarnations. Annoyingly, Harry did see the familiar glimmer of a properly cast shield charm, and he forced himself to dig into his enlarged pack and draw out the tents.

They were up in seconds, two small pup tents that hid a full twin-sized mattress. Regular survival versions, so no kitchen, but they both had heat and they both had rations, and Harry spat a 'good night' at Malfoy before retreating to his own bed. Six-hour hikes were not what he was trained for anymore, after all. The first-year field research days were far behind both of them, and the exhaustion of middle age had crept up on them subtly.

Continue Reading 

[malereader-inserts]

Of Heaven and Hell

Fandom: Good Omens Pairing: Crowley & Son!Reader & Aziraphale Summary: You are a balanced creature as you were made of the powers of Heaven and Hell Word Count: 1,908 Request: “Can you do good omens where the reader is their son and he likes someone but he too stubborn to accept it until they are in danger (Crowley teases him about it all the time)” Warning: Angels are dicks, Demons are bigger dicks. Blood, injury, stabbing, I mean it, it’s a bit gruesome A/n: Okay, I couldn’t do this request but I wanted to do a son reader so we’re going for some hurt and comfort. God shipping Ineffable Husbands

You’re not supposed to be alive.

Your existence is taboo in both Heaven and Hell. But damn anyone, angels and demons, to ever touched you. Your parents were very protective of you but they weren’t one to shy away from what you were and how you weren’t like other children. 

Growing up was fairly quiet, your parents sent you to school so you blended with humans. Maybe if one of their sides visit them you could just pass off as a human, it worked almost all of your childhood. You were bright as your parents always fed you extra knowledge, in the courtesy of Aziraphale. 

You didn’t need to sleep often so there were many spent nights on you reading books well in advance of your age. You were their little Nephilim, the perfect balance of heaven and hell, their greatest secret. 

“I’m going out to hang out with some friends!” You called out as your fathers turned their head, “It’s with the usual, don’t worry.”

“I won’t but he will,” Crowley jokes with a smile, ruffling your hair and pressing small kisses around faces.

“Dad!” You moaned, wiping away the kisses he had planted.

Aziraphale chuckled, “Your dad will be the one worrying more than me, son, be safe!” 

He presses a kiss upon your temple as you smile, nodding as you waved them off, pulling your backpack tighter as you unlocked your bike from a nearby light post. Crowley and Aziraphale love you so much, it’s unknown at what age you stop ageing but for now, they want to keep your teenage years pure and bright.

“Love you!”

When they were expecting you, the two had moved outside of London, in a little cottage. Aziraphale tending to his books at the book shop and Crowley annoying the city of London. As you disappear from view Aziraphale looks at Crowley, who was busy on his phone.

“I have a bad feeling, dear,” Aziraphale says with a worrisome voice.

Crowley looks up with his eyebrows raised, “And you said that I would worry more, I’m sure he’ll be fine, Angel.”

But, when Aziraphale agrees that he’s just being a little paranoid Crowley couldn’t help but feel that unsettling feeling bubble through his stomach. He hopes to somebody’s sake that their son will be safe.

You were coming back from hanging out with your friends. When you’re young and having a little freedom it does you good. Just as you were about to go back to the bike rack to fetch your bike, a hand had grabbed you from the back of your jacket, pulling you into an alleyway. Spinning out of your jacket, to see who had a hold of it.

Your eyes widen when you see Uriel and Sandalphon, but they weren’t alone, they were accompanied by Dagon and Ligur. It was Uriel who had pushed you against the wall, the four looking at you with great interest.

“So, this is why Crowley’s been ignoring Hell for seventeen years, an offspring,” Ligur sneers, poking your cheek, “I expected more if he mated with the Angel. He’s got heaven’s eyes.”

Sandalphon scoffs, “And hell’s smile.”

Dagon sneered at you, you were terrified, you knew what both sides were capable of. Whilst you know Aziraphale was made to be a soldier, you had training from him. He taught you how to hold up a sword and how to fight. You’d think that a soft angel like him wouldn’t but there was a reason he was guarding the eastern gate of the garden.

“There is a reason why I am called Master of Torments,” Dagon hisses, but not in the way your dad does it, you gulped, “I can feel the fear radiating off him.”

“You must know your fate then, Nephilim,” Uriel growled, her grip tightening as you wince, “So unfortunate that you cannot see your dearest fathers again.”

Death, you wished was quick and painless. But, the four had a better idea, make you suffer for your existence. Make you suffer because of your parents. Sandalphon had a good hit, a punch to the gut. He was great with his hands, but he was best at smiting. 

Uriel and Ligur used special’s own daggers, of Heaven and Hell. You’ve cut yourself before with a regular knife, but the blades of the daggers upon your skin burnt like it tore your skin apart. You staggered to your knees. Your hands catching the fall, you could taste the blood in your mouth as you looked down at your oozing body.

The red liquid gushing out as they resorted to combat, their feet colliding towards your ribs. Stomping upon your hands, a boot to the face. Blood spilling from your lips and you found yourself begging for them to stop. But they wanted more, this is the most that they could do together as a team was to torment you. 

Dagon was the Master of Torment, she was amazingly skilled with a whip. Tears formed as the leather hits upon your back, she wanted blood, the angels wanted your wings. Dagon whips you until your back was a bloody mass of open flesh in front of everyone else.

And your wings show. Bloodied and mixed with dirt and grime. Your wings were extravagant. It wasn’t a half-half wings. From your back, it was white and faded into grey then black. With Uriel’s pleasure, she made sure to clip your wings. 

An anguished scream tore your throat, you were done for, you’ve convinced yourself. 

“My child, (Y/n),” A holy woman’s voice rang out into your mind, “You’re powerful, you are loved, you are created and protected for a reason.”

“I can’t, God,” You choked out in the pain, “It hurts too much, God, I’m going to die.”

“You are of the balance sides. You are made out of Heaven and Hell, there is a reason why you have survived this.”

You grit your teeth and let out another scream, so loud that it blasted them back. Inconveniently discorporating them, however, the energy of your miracle took to much as you fell back to your knees.

“My dear boy,” God’s voice echoes, “Go, return home to your fathers. And in pain and virtue, you stand strong.”

“Wait,” You murmured, grabbing your wet dirty jacket, the pain in your back searing, “I am that bad for existing?”

“You’re not bad at all, my sweet summer child, the forces of heaven and hell do not want to see a world where the two can work together and fall in love. Your fathers have been one of the greatest love stories I’ve witnessed. You are good, boy, you are of trouble. But not enough to be hated.”

There was a weigh disappearing when she leaves. You put your jacket on, ignoring the burning pain that rips into you. There was blood everywhere, your blood, you stumbled yourself up. 

You fished out your phone and see it had broken upon your torment, forgetting your bike you stumble home. The blood loss making your head fuzzy, you were sure you were still bleeding. Broken bones and clipped wings, you were glad that Londoners hated interacting with strangers.

Relief had found home inside your chest when you see the bookshop. It was dimly lit, indicating that it was only your fathers occupying the building. As you came closer to the door, you had miracled it opened. You were tired and upset that the doors opened with a bang and shut with the same force.

Both your parents come to the front to see who had interrupted them, but the sight to see had their emotions running wild. 

“They found me,” You choked, tears starting to form, your hands are shaking and the two surged forward to their son, “It ‘urts so bad, please make it stop.”

Aziraphale’s jaw lock as he holds his baby boy, Crowley was ready to make an uproar in Heaven again.

“I was going to die,” You choked as you gripped Aziraphale tightly, the pain and fear lacing your words made them feel sick to the stomach, “They clipped my wings.”

Feeling emotions that were hard to describe as Crowley holds you from behind but you flinched. Crowley’s eyes widen at your reaction and gently tugs your jacket off. He cringes, he seethes, he closes his eyes to see the mess made by the whip.

“(Y/n), let's get you home,” Crowley whispers to you, soothing as Aziraphale examines your back.

The three of you get into the Bently, there was no comfortable position that wasn’t painful. It was tormenting that they had to listen to their son, softly crying. Upon the arrival of home, they sat you down on the bed, Aziraphale slowly waving his hand over your back to clear the open flesh, yet red nasty marks linger on. Crowley worked on the stabbing, leaving scars. 

The two healed your broken bones, Aziraphale rubbing his thumb over your knuckles whilst Crowley rubs his thumbs over the cuts and bruises on your face. By the end of the session, it was almost hard to tell that you were even attacked.

You looked at them with tired eyes, “Thank you.”

Aziraphale puts a firm hand on your shoulder, “We can’t heal your clipped wings, but if we tend to them properly they may regrow again.”

“Okay,” You hummed, your voice hoarse, “I love you guys.”

“We love you too!” Crowley says with the utmost happiness, hoping it makes you smile - it does.

He wraps his lanky arms around you and pulls you close as Aziraphale looks at his husband with great disapproval. Sometimes, Aziraphale still thinks you’re as fragile as a baby. After all, you were still their son and the powers of upstairs and downstairs will continue to hunt the three of you.

“I think it’s safe to say we should visit each other’s respectful side,” Aziraphale mentions, sitting on the other side of you, “Maybe we’ll give them a taste of their own medicine for hurting our son.”

“Ah!” The demon exclaims, parting the hug with a smile that screamed trouble, “I’m dragon breathing hellfire at them again, no one hurts my baby without getting something in return.”

“Might take a while, I discorperated Uriel, Sandalphon, Ligur and Dagon,” Listing who was there, making sure they knew exactly who to target. Your fathers nodded, getting who to go for, “Oh, God also said something.”

“Big powerful lady?” Crowley asked, with a slighter higher tone, “Oh, well go on! What’d she say?”

“She’s the Lord Almighty, Crowley,” Aziraphale scolded at him, “Not some gossiper.”

“She said that she loves your love story and it’s the best she’s seen,” You interrupted before your parents get into another whimsical bicker.

“So, she approves?” Aziraphale says with a slightly nervous tone, as you nodded, “Oh good.”

“I bet she was fed up with you two though,” You joked, “6000 years?”

“Now, don’t you start with me young boy,” Your father scowled as your dad chuckled next to you, “Why don’t you get some rest, we can spend time at home tomorrow how does that sound?”

You looked at Aziraphale with a smile, nodding, “That’ll be nice,” You slowly get up and move to the doorway to head to your room. You paused and looked back at them with Heaven’s eyes and Hell’s smile, “I love you guys.”

Your parents smile, beaming almost, “We love you too.”

[moveslikebucky]

2019 Fanfic Roundup

Because why not!  All the cool kids I know are doing them, and I wrote quite a bit of Good Omens fic this year (surprising no one) so I wanted to make a post too!

If anyone had told me back in May that I'd end up posting 59,146 words of fanfiction, I would have thought them insane.

Fanfic! Everything on here is Ineffable Husbands unless otherwise noted, and is in order of posting!  (FIOT = from the Forever is Our Today series)

Ineffable Duology - Fluff and Angst; Getting Together

A Thousand Years - G Time After Time - T

The same story from Aziraphale’s POV in the first and Crowley’s POV in the second, ending one night 3 months after the failed apocalypse

Hopelessly, I’ll Love You Endlessly - T.  Angst Five times Crowley rescued Aziraphale and the one time he couldn’t get there in time.

Let Me Live Here Ever (FIOT) - T.  Fluff Cuddly and snuggly conversations in the South Downs cottage.

The Broadgate Tower Coffeeshop (FIOT) - G; No ships The Dukes of Hell and the Archangels have a tense confrontation in the Broadgate Tower Coffeeshop (told from the perspective of a barista).

Lost and Found (FIOT) - T.  Fluff. Aziraphale loses his ring, Crowley tries to track it down for him.  Shenanigans with the witch finders and a very soft ending.

A Dangerous Game (FIOT) - T. Crowley is called back to Hell for a discussion.  This is not going where you think it is.

A Day In the Life; December 21, 2020 (FIOT) - T.  Fluff A day in the life of Crowley and Aziraphale.  Established relationship, lots of fluff.  The return of the baristas from Broadgate Tower and Yaya from Lost and Found.

All The Idle Weeds That Grow (FIOT) - T.  Fluff and a bit of angst Gardener is acting funny, and the plants are very nervous.  An ineffable husbands fic told from the perspective of Crowley’s plants.

That Guy Sure Looks Like Plant Food To Me (FIOT) - M.  Angst; Hurt/Comfort Crowley finds a new plant but there’s more to it than meets the eye.  The M rating is purely for the depictions of violence in this, because I wanted to be on the safe side.

Remember, Remember (FIOT) - G.  Angst Aziraphale reflects on an argument during the bonfire night celebrations.

It’s Not The Years, It’s The Mileage - T.  Crossover; WIP My pet project crossover with Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark, inspired by some lovely fan art by @yamisnuffles.  It’s an ongoing work, but with only three chapters left, I'm hoping to be finished by the time March rolls around.

#UtilitySaxMan - G.  Crackfic Remember the Epic Sax Guy meme?  Well that’s all that this is.  Written with the help of the ever lovely @apple-duty based on a conversation in the Ineffable Outliers discord.

Kiss Me Once...Kiss Me Twice... - T.  Fluff Songfic to “It’s Been A Long, Long Time”.  What if they KISSED in 1941? Gift for @greenfiredragonfly

Disquiet - G.  Beelzebub character study Songfic to “Disquiet” by Unreqvited.  A character study on my friend @circuslollipop‘s head canons for pre-fall Beelzebub.

Every Old Town Is Your Past Burning Down - T.  Angst and then fluff Crowley drives and he thinks and then he resolves to act.  Based on “Reno and Me” by Waylon Jennings, prompt given to me by @waylonjenningslittlefield

Special Mention of Warlock:

So many of you know of the beautiful fic Slow Show, and many of you know about the wonderful Warlock Party House discord server that is a fan server for that fic.  Well a bunch of us crazies have been writing both canon AND fic for the fake tv show in Slow Show, Warlock.  These are my two contributions so far:

To Sound With A Voice Of Confession - T. Erasmus and William are trapped in a confessional.  There’s a lot of feelings there.

you can’t become unreal again; it lasts for always - G Joshua has been carrying that little stuffed rabbit he calls Harry around for a long time now, but William still wonders where he got it.  A dawning realization about Erasmus and his motivations.

[ineffable0husbands]

How the Mighty Have Fallen: Chapter One

Here’s the multi-chapter fic I’ve been talking about! I’ll be posting it here, as well as on my ao3. I hope you all enjoy it! Each chapter will contain individual warnings and pairings, while the ao3 includes pairings and warnings for the general fic. Anyways, enjoy!

Chapter Warnings: Headaches, amnesia, self-doubt, anxiety, and lots of fluff. tooth-rotting

Ship(s): Ineffable Husbands

tag list:  @adoratato @iamdevilantlysatan @bri-cas @that-gender-bender@scum-of-the-earth @pieces-of-annedrew @scampycat4999 @elrilsf @my-emo-child @always-reading2 @larrklopp @l-garnxtt @halbarryislife@ninjacatinsanitycrazy @impossiblynervouscycle @audder17@theratatethekingsclothes @boredafsposts @i-really-dig-the-purple@mycrappylife01 @lostwolf-fandomlover @hamiltrashphannerd@she-who-must-not-be-named @sundry-whovengerslocked @deceitfullyanxiousprince

Crowley didn’t have the faintest recollection of what it had been like to be an angel. He knew he missed it. He knew that he hadn’t meant to fall. He knew that he had helped create the stars in the solar system. However, that was all he could recall. After the failed attempt at Armageddon, Crowley had a lot more time on his hands, with next to nothing to do. And when a person has nothing to do, they tend to think far too much. He had tried visiting his angel and going out with him to The Ritz or getting drunk off his ass, but nothing was able to distract him for long. He stared at his scattered Astrology pages, eyes flickering over the familiar nebulas and galaxies that he had helped to shape, and sharp pain in his brow, as if he were trying to recall something that was no longer there.

“Damn it,” he hissed, snapping his fingers so that the pages returned to their book and stalking off to terrorize his plants some. Crowley begrudgingly praised the plants that had managed to maintain their perfection and found nothing wrong with the others. As he used his mister to water his plants, he mused once again over his seemingly absent past. He’d never really dwelt on it before, but being around Aziraphale taught him that life was too short to not question things. Oh! Aziraphale! Perhaps the angel had known Crowley before he’d fallen. It was a start, at least. Even if Aziraphale hadn’t known him, Crowley wouldn’t have the whole ‘what if’ shit bouncing around in the back of his mind. Quickly finishing up with his plants, the demon rushed over to his telephone and called the angel.

“Hello, Aziraphale speaking,” the angel’s voice chimed, immediately having a calming effect on the other man’s nerves.

“Hey Angel, it’s Crowley. I have a question,” Crowley drawled, trying to keep the anxious edge out of his voice. “I’ve been thinking a lot about...before. My past, before I fell. Is there any chance you knew me then? For some reason, I can’t recall anything.” There was silence on the other end of the phone, save the faint rustling of paper.

“I’m...I’m sorry, my dear, but I can’t seem to recall ever interacting with you in the Before times. Although it’s the strangest thing really, I feel like I did know. I just have no memories of it. It’s strange, isn’t it?” Aziraphale said with a faint chuckle. Crowley’s throat tightened.

“No, it doesn’t seem too strange. I feel similar, just about...the entire damn thing.” Crowley couldn’t hide his frustration as he clenched the phone tightly.

“Oh dear, I’m sorry. Would you like to talk about it? Or perhaps have a distraction? We could go to the park, or do something else. Anything you want,” Aziraphale offered sweetly. Crowley sighed and sat in his chair, propping his feet up onto his desk.

“I don’t really know what I want to do. I’ve never actually had the time to think about my time in Heaven, I always had assignments from Hell keeping me busy. Now that they’re leaving us alone…” Crowley’s voice trailed off. Aziraphale let out a thoughtful hum and Crowley waited for some sort of reply. He wanted to see Aziraphale, really he did, but he just felt so tired. Not in a human way, supernatural creatures didn’t actually need sleep, but in the way that someone who has lived for too long and seen too much would feel.

“I’ll be over in a few minutes with some cocoa, maybe a bottle of wine or two. Would you like that?” Aziraphale finally suggested, his voice calm and not at all forceful. Crowley nodded before quickly remembering he was on the phone.

“Yeah, that would be great, angel. You know where I live, right?” Crowley muttered, sitting up straighter and pushing his sunglasses back up, which had begun to fall down his nose.

“Of course I do, Crowley! I’ll be there soon, I promise,” Aziraphale reassured. Crowley swallowed the lump in his throat and made a noise of encouragement. Aziraphale hung up after an ‘I love you’ and another promise that he would arrive as quickly as he could. Crowley hung up the phone and lounged in his chair, staring blankly out towards the window. All the blinds were drawn closed so only a few slivers of light reflected on the demon’s face, but he liked it that way. He closed his eyes and curled up a little bit more. Maybe if he slept, even though it wasn’t necessary, it would help him feel better. It would certainly help Crowley pass the time until Aziraphale got there. He closed his eyes and slowly drifted off.

It seemed to Crowley that he had only been asleep for a few moments when a loud knock startled him out of sleep, jolting him awake and making him nearly fall out of his chair. He could have sworn he heard the faint sound of laughter as he passed by the hall that held his plants to answer the door. Glasses askew, hair a mess, and clothes ruffled, Crowley opened the door for his angel and welcomed him inside. To his relief, Aziraphale made no comment about the demon’s appearance and wrapped his arms around Crowley in a hug as soon as he entered his home.

“My dear, are you alright? You sounded so distraught over the phone,” Aziraphale sympathized, taking Crowley by the shoulders and guiding him towards the couch. Crowley mumbled an incoherent reply and leaned into Aziraphale. When the angel helped Crowley sit down, the demon wouldn’t let go, clinging to the back of Aziraphale’s suit jacket and letting out a soft sound that sounded suspiciously a lot like ‘no’. Aziraphale’s lips quirked up into a small smile and he sat next to Crowley, letting his love bury his face in his neck and keep his arms wrapped tightly around him.

“Thank you for coming,” Crowley said quietly, looking up at Aziraphale with tired eyes. “I’m sorry if I made you leave something important.” Aziraphale smiled reassuringly and shook his head, pressing a soft kiss to Crowley’s hair.

“Nothing is more important than you, darling,” Aziraphale soothed, pulling Crowley closer. Crowley didn’t know how to respond to that, so he just buried his face deeper in the angel’s neck and laid in his arms, comforted by the feeling of his lover’s fingers running through his hair.

“I don’t know why this is upsetting me so much,” scowled Crowley, his frown deepening. He took his glasses off to better rest against his angel and sighed. “I’ve never thought about it this much. I’ve had questions before, but I’ve always had enough to keep me busy so that I don’t dwell on it. Does that...make sense?” It was rare for Crowley to talk so openly about things that he was going through, but he was just tired and so confused that he didn’t care. Besides, he loved Aziraphale. He knew he could trust him to not repeat anything that was said between the two of them if it was requested.

“Yes, it does. Humans are a lot like us in that aspect. It seems that it is common practice for beings to suppress their more unpleasant thoughts with distraction. Unless they aren’t unpleasant for you, just confusing. But it does still apply,” Aziraphale responded thoughtfully. Crowley pondered over the angel’s words.

“Thinking about it is fine, but trying to remember hurts. It’s more of an annoyance than any real pain, but...if I think about it too much it could hurt more,” Crowley said. Aziraphale frowned at that.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were in pain?” Crowley shrugged.

“It didn’t seem that important, I suppose.” Aziraphale sighed and sat up slightly, bringing the demon with him, who protested at the movement with a soft grunt.

“I wish you would tell me these things, my dear. You know I hate it when you suffer,” Aziraphale chided gently, lifting Crowley’s chin so that they were looking at each other in the eye. Crowley's eyes flickered downward for a moment as he thought, But that’s exactly why I don’t tell you. He looked back up and just nodded. Aziraphale brushed a thumb over Crowley’s cheek and gave him a gentle kiss. Crowley closed his eyes and leaned into Aziraphale’s touch as he returned the kiss, his nerves slowly deteriorating and the dull throb in his head fading away. When the kiss ended Aziraphale tucked Crowley against his body and held him, the two of them tangling together on the couch and just laying there together, Crowley on top of Aziraphale with his face buried in the angel’s chest And Aziraphale letting out his wings, wrapping them around the two of them as he held his love.

“The bed would probably be more comfortable, if you want to move,” Aziraphale whispered, not wanting to interrupt the peace of that moment. Crowley moves his head in a slight nod against Aziraphale’s chest, and the angel got up off the couch, carrying the demon in his arms and to the bedroom. They settled into a similar position that they’d been in on the couch, just on their sides. Crowley seemed to cling tighter to the angel, eyebrows furrowed as he kept his eyes closed tightly.

“You’ll stay, right? Not just until I fall asleep?” Crowley asked, his grip on Aziraphale’s clothes tightening fearfully. The angel smiled gently as he miracled them out of their normal clothes and into pajamas.

“Of course I’ll stay. Now sleep, my love. You need to rest,” Aziraphale cooed, petting Crowley’s hair and pulling him closer. Crowley took a shaky breath and shifted slightly, pressing himself against Aziraphale’s comforting form as much as he could. Aziraphale watched over his demon lover as he drifted off to sleep, his wings around the two of them in a gesture of protection. Crowley may have opened up to his angel, but his journey was far from over.