#I do not necessarily see them as romantic or queerplatonic partners but i like it

[bloggingboutburgers]

this past week my qpp of almost two years broke up with me. and i know for you, you said you wouldn't necessarily feel heartbroken if your qpr came to an end, but for me, it felt more heartbreaking than some of my past romantic breakups. this whole thing made me wonder if maybe im not queerplatonic or aro enough to be in a qpr, or if id ever want to be in a qpr again. but seeing you post about your qpr gives me hope that queerplatonic love is something that i can experience fully. so thank you for always sharing your story, because that's what's helping me heal right now <3

Aah, to be perfectly honest, as much as I sorta "downplay" it compared to what it must feel for people who experience romantic attraction... I've had a time where I almost felt like I couldn't go on with my QPP as well and the sheer thought of it was really hard to bear too, so my words here aren't necessarily being very fair to the reality of things.

It was during the travel ban of March 2020 to November 2021 where citizens of my country and others weren't allowed to enter the US unless we spent 15 days in a country that wasn't banned. It made it much harder than usual to visit my partner and as it was nearing 2 years with nobody aware it was going on anymore and US people more concerned about whether they'd be able to have turkey for Thanksgiving, my hope was running really thin. So for a few days in mid-October, as I was at rock bottom, I was starting to write in passing to my partner about how maybe going on wasn't worth it because the separation was too hard on us, it wasn't showing signs of stopping, and the whole thing maybe wasn't worth the pain if they could live their life happily and not have to worry about me who couldn't visit.

And then we videocalled at some point, and when they tearfully told me that even if it did end then and there, they wanted me to keep the promise ring they'd recently given me, I suddenly felt a quiet rage in me going like "No. Fuck this. Look at them. I love them. And I love this too much to allow some cruel governmental decision to end it. If it ever ends, it'll be because WE want it to end. Not because of shit like this."

...I'm making it sound super dramatic but yeah long story short this is also a big reason why we're planning to get married. So that when the US government decides to put a ban on countries including mine again, they can't stop us from vibing together this time.

I guess... I still don't wanna 100% assume we'll be together forever because I don't wanna trap them in a situation they may no longer feel happy in. We're doing great now, but I still have it in the back of my mind that maybe someday they'll get sick of me (they say they never will and that'd be dope if they never did, but never say never and all), or we'll both just want other things, and if it ends like that, then... Yeah, that'd be alright. Much more alright than the way it almost ended.

(...Oh, and for the record, if a friendship of mine ended abruptly, or if my brothers stopped being on good terms with me, I'm pretty sure I'd be just as heartbroken, to be fair. And it'd feel like my reality was collapsing a little. I guess anything ending, any human connection ending, has that effect to a degree, if it's important enough, after all.)

Though describing things like that does make it a bit harder to define what makes it "queerplatonic" as opposed to "romantic", I still... Just have that feeling in my gut that it isn't romance, y'know? It's kinda... A mix between being close friends and being an old married couple without ever having gone through the grandiose passion-honeymoon phase. Maybe that phase IS what defines romance per se. I don't know. Maybe someday I'll find more answers, but it's kinda hard to find answers when you have no idea how romance works to begin with I guess 🙈

In any case... Sorry if I caused any confusion or if I made you question your validity. The thing is pretty simple to be honest: if you feel you're aro, you're veeeeeery likely to BE aro. Because nobody can make that call but you and nobody can name the relationships you have but you. And if amongst everything you even FOUND the words "aro" or "queerplatonic" in a world where those identities and types of relationships are so aggressively hidden or erased, then it's gotta stand for something.

...I guess at the very least THIS I can be certain of TwT Sorry I'm a bit messy about all of this myself, I'm still also going on about it trying to figure it out day by day, but I owed it to you and everyone to be honest. These things are hard to define and I hope to keep finding better and better words to do so someday. TwT

[tommyssupercoolblog]

Also unrelated to the last Dan and Phil post but do other phannies know about queerplatonic relationships. Do they know that there is not just romantic or platonic relationships but a secret third thing. Like if Dan and Phil aren't dating they also very well could be a secret third thing. The point of QPRs is that they upset the ideas of what relationships are "supposed" to be like and what's platonic or romantic, because like, anything romantic can be platonic and vice versa because relationships are defined by the people in them. (And also some people consider their attraction in itself to be neither or both)

Like even if they DO call each other pet names and want to live together forever in the same house, or even if they want to get married, that doesn't necessarily eliminate the possibility that their relationship is a secret third thing.

I think about this a lot when I'm in the Dan and Phil tag because I sometimes see people say the sort of "friends don't do that" talk that aromantic people especially (since they're more likely to be in or know about QPRs) complain about sometimes, and like. Jokes like that are common and easy but it does make me wonder how many people haven't stopped to consider that Dan and Phil could also...be a QPR.

You don't have to be in romantic love to be life partners, and some people prioritize friendship over romance in a way that even if they do experience romance it's so low-key to them that their friends live with them more or have more stake in their lives than partners. The priorities of your relationships, like the order of what's more important, can be different depending on who you are, and so can what those relationships look like.

I'm not saying I think they AREN'T dating persay, I mean like how would I know??!!! But there are more options than yes or no, like... "It depends on whichever is funnier" or "only on Tuesdays" or "Fun sexy little gray area" or "yes and no at the same time fuck you" or "neither, actually It's digorno". There are a rainbow of possibilities, AND shrimp colors or possibilities. The possibilities are phendless

[thebasementgirl]

Before I understood myself as aroace I tried to understand what kind of relationship I wanted. Because I was never comfortable with the idea of being in a romantic relationship, but I knew I wanted to be in a special relationship. I used to say I wanted a "friendship with benefits but no sex" because I wanted my partner and I to be friends but be allowed to do things considered to pertain to romantic relationships like holding hands, going on dates, spooning, kisses on the cheek and lips, saying that we love each other and knowing that these were just demonstrations of deep affection that we have for each other and not something necessarily romantic.

It was when I first discovered Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship and I said to myself "this is exactly what I want in my life, I want what they have".

Since Neil Gaiman said that their relationship is something that is open to interpretation and any interpretation is valid as long as we always remember that above all else they love each other, I was able to make my own interpretation of their relationship.

I don't see them as being a romantic couple because many aspects that are inherently part of romantic relationships are not part of their dynamic (and they don't seem very interested in it being part of their dynamic). But I also can't see their relationship as being solely friendship because for me, their love and dynamics go beyond what can be understood as friendship.

I didn't know what to call it. But I knew it was love and that I wanted that love.

Until last year I discovered the concept of a queerplatonic relationship and finally found the term for the type of relationship that I spent so many years trying to explain was what I wanted. And this is also how I first concluded: Ineffable Husbands is a queerplatonic relationship; and no one takes it away from me; This is my canon and I will die for it.

I can perfectly see the gigantic squish they have for each other, I want them living together, going on dates at the Ritz or just having dinner and a good conversation at Aziraphale's bookstore, spending time together while Azi reads a book and Crowley drinking a glass of wine, walking around the city, physical touch is not a very present love language in their relationship but from time to time they can hold hands or be affectionate with each other with physical touches, I'm not sure if kisses would be something recurrent, perhaps rarely, and without sex (I hc them as aroace)

Now I need more than anything to make sure they reconcile in season 3 and live their relationship in peace.

I love my ineffable queerplatonic husbands and hope to one day have a relationship like theirs.

[mysticalfestivaloperatorbagel]

I've been questioning if I'm on the aromantic spectrum, and recently learned about squishes (non-romantic version of crushes) and zucchinis (name for non-romantic partner who is more than a friend). As annoying as jargon is, having these words and seeing them used by people with similar experiences has helped me so much in figuring out my relationships.

I thought I had a crush on a man because I had a desire to be close with him, but it was confusing because I consider myself a lesbian. We now have a very strong friendship and while I feel a deep connection with him, it is purely a platonic feeling. He is the first person I thought of when I learned the word "squish," and the new vocabulary help make sense of similar confusing feelings I've had for others.

I've had a relationship that was neither platonic or romantic but still incredibly strong and intense. When I think "have I ever been in love before" I say yes because of this person. Even though she is alloromantic and had a partner, we had plans to be entwined in each other's lives and she was the most important person to me. I definitely had no romantic feelings for her, but when we "broke up" it was different than losing a friend; I felt like I couldn't survive without her and felt so broken I didn't think I could love anyone else. I would have absolutely called her my zucchini if I had the terminology at the time, and that's the type of long term partner I always imagined myself with. I don't think QPRs are necessarily stronger or weaker than romantic relationships, to me they hold a similar level of significance but just feel tangibly different.

I recently started seeing someone in a more romantic way, but both of us have blurry lines between romantic and platonic feelings. We have strong feelings for each other so we decided to keep "dating" and be confused together for now <3 But learning about zucchinis helped clarify a lot for me, in this case because I have a word for what I DON'T want. I've had squishes that I wanted a QPR with (I saw someone call these squashes?) but that's not what I want with this person. I want all of her, I want her so strongly it keeps me up at night, I want to wrap myself up in her and kiss her until I can't breathe and love her deeply enough that she understands how special she is. I've never felt this way before and I still have some blurry lines, but I know this is closer to a romantic attraction. I know I don't want to be her zucchini I want to be her girlfriend.

People have told me I can't be asexual AND a lesbian, and I think I've written off being aromantic for a similar fear of not being allowed to be aromantic AND a lesbian (bear with me here). But I've used the split-attraction model to validate my separation between romantic and sexual attraction, and I have to remember I can do the same for other types of attraction. Zucchinis and squishes are the first time I've heard aromanticism described as an ALTERNATIVE to romantic attraction instead of a LACK of romantic attraction. So maybe I am not completely aromantic, but now I am more comfortable thinking of myself on the aro spectrum (maybe grayromantic?). Platonic, romantic, and queerplatonic relationships all mean something different to me but are all important.

I'm not a big fan of hyperspecific labels for myself so probably won't regularly refer to myself as an asexual-grayromantic-lesbian. But it's grounding to have the words to understand myself.

[decimal86]

A Failtopia Crackship Yapping Session

Okay, it is highly unlike me to do, and also, I guess the FIRST time I've ever posted anything like this on Tumblr, but I would like to share this concept with the Failtopia fandom: Eribo with queerplatonic C!Failica—also known as:

EriBoat.

Now, before I get into why I think this ship could work, I would like to say I'm NOT shipping the content creator Daniel himself, only the in-universe character who's a walking disaster zone of a man in a cat onesie. However, even if you still don't agree with this concept, please don't come after me. Now, onto the analysis.

I won't go into detail about why Erica and Bo work together well as a couple, as that's been a popular ship since I think when season two ended. I will, though, go briefly over Failica as a ship. From what I could gather from looking at the fanbase and the old season one streams, C!Fail and Erica were paired together mainly for being two of the more sane members of the Failfleet Miis, as well as C!Fail playing a prominent role in helping the then-cleric open up and learn to depend on other people. And while certainly he wasn't the best team leader overall, I could certainly see his confidence and optimism helping her trust others and find a true place in the team. Season two sets this dynamic back, of course; Failboat's misadventures at Denny's Island and other worlds and Erica's stress piling from years serving as a healer sets them up as both struggling to bond with people in general. Nevertheless, I do believe that by the finale, their bond was just as strong, if not stronger, from these struggles. C!Fail atones for his mistakes both by being humbled from the cat suit and, more crucially, giving the reins to Mar as team leader, letting someone more qualified make the big decisions. Similarly, Erica's able to let go of her past, once again finds her place in the team, and finds her poor relationship with life and death quelled by a new relationship with a certain vampire. Speaking of which...

Now would probably be a good time to mention how Bo and C!Fail would interact in this ship. Unfortunately, I'm still not finished watching post-game for season two, so I don't believe there's much to go off of in canon. Although, as mentioned above, Bo was instrumental in helping Erica get over her issues with the deaths of her previous parties. And, going by the popular headcanon that many share of C!Failboat having both caused and felt the impact of destruction, I'd argue it makes perfect sense that Bo could help him in a similar way.

But, of course, there remains one question—would Eribo be open to letting Fail into their relationship, even if not quite romantically? I'd say so. While it's unlikely he necessarily be part of everything the other two do, I could see them letting him in on some date nights. After all, Erica's known the guy at this point for quite some time, and I feel Bo would both trust Erica enough to welcome in another partner and allow someone else who's Been Through It��️ to find solace. In turn, C!Fail, for everything he's seen and done, accepts this with open arms. He's never had a partner before, and I also see it as highly probable that he sees himself as bad luck from the sheer number of enemies he's made. So, tagging along with a trusted companion and her ghost girlfriend would let him experience affection from, for lack of a better phrase, a safer distance.

Thank you for hearing me out on this idea. I spent FAR too long typing this post, lmao.

[stormy-caffeine]

Love the pfp and… if you can, (sorry 🙏🏻 I’m just really desperate to know how I feel towards this person online…)

queerplatonic vs alterous vs alteraffectis

Thank you! And that's totally fine, I'll explain my interpretation of the difference between these labels. Hopefully this helps.

Alterous and queerplatonic are very similar and due to this are sometimes used interchangeably. The way that I understand the difference is this:

Alterous attraction is a desire for emotional closeness that is not necessarily platonic nor romantic in nature. It could be as simple as a desire for more exclusivity or responsibility/recognition than what is expected in a casual platonic relationship (such as being BFFs, becoming someone's confidant/support system or being found family (but not feeling familial attraction towards them)), or as complex as wanting an emotionally intimate relationship with someone but excluding certain behaviors/titles that feel traditionally romantic. It's very broad this way, but if you experience alterous attraction with someone, sometimes being in a queerplatonic relationship is the best solution for you to have your needs met, sometimes its not. Because of this, I actually see queerplatonic as a subset of alterous.

Queerplatonic attraction, on the other hand, is the specific desire for that emotionally-intimate (and sometimes other kinds of intimate) relationship with someone. Not as a compromise or anything, that's just exactly what you want with someone in particular. One example: wanting to be in a labeled, "official" relationship with someone, such as their spouse/partner/soulmate etc, or have some priority/exclusivity in their attention/time/decision-making but not actually having a desire to do anything different or "extra" compared to how you've interacted with them platonically. Another example (which is equally as common in my experience): Desiring to do traditionally romantic or intimate things with someone, but not wanting to be/not feeling comfortable being labeled as their spouse/partner/soulmate etc, despite feeling like you wouldn't want to do those same things with those you only have platonic attraction towards. These examples are, technically, exact opposites but both apply equally to queerplatonic attraction. The common denominator that I've seen is the desire for certain levels of exclusivity and priority in someone's life, and reciprocating that intensity, but having no desire to be in a "traditional" partnership with that person. Please note: exclusivity does not equal being monogamous; plenty of people experience this in terms of polyfidelity or wanting to be in an open or polyaffectionate QPR. Some people experience this in place of romantic attraction, most commonly a-spec folks, but anyone can feel it and/or be in a QPR (queerplatonic relationship).

Alteraffectis attraction is the outlier here; this attraction doesn't feel platonic or romantic in nature because those are human concepts, and wouldn't apply to any other species. While you don't have to be otherkin, therian, a pet regressor or anything similar to feel alteraffectis attraction, it's actually a lot easier to understand if you think of it as they would. Alternatively, I find it easier to describe this attraction as the "xenogender of attractions", it's not actually this relationship between you and the person you're attracted to but it is most emotionally similar to your relation/attraction to this person. Example: As humans, we have no way of knowing how a dog experiences attraction towards their owner, but we know how they express attraction towards their owner! It's clear from how they act when their owner comes home that they're excited, they enjoy their company, they want to spend time together, they feel grateful for their owners presence because they give them joy, toys, food, enrichment, and care for their health, they want to protect their owner, they feel like their owner would protect them, etc etc etc etc etc. We do not have a name for this attraction, scientifically, but it's assumed that it wouldn't be a one-to-one comparison with platonic attraction because "friends", as humans understand the concept, doesn't really translate in the animal kingdom. The same with romantic attraction, animals don't date or marry in the same context that humans do, but they do experience intense social bonds that could be similar to it; ie. animals pair-bonding or keeping one mate throughout their life (even in cases where actual mating is not a possibility or ever initiated). The examples go on, since technically alteraffectis doesn't have to be positive at all, given the definition. As much as everyone focuses on the good, alteraffectis attraction could also include "the way that a predator feels towards prey that they are hunting" or something equally troubling when put into a human context. Regardless, because these aren't platonic or romantic feelings but are clearly distinct, important, and recognizable, they must be something else entirely. And from that point, we interpret those emotions to the best of our understanding and label them as Alteraffectis. The easiest examples are with house-pets, since people are generally aware of them or can very easily search them and their behavior up online for context, but it can apply to ANY being that is not human. Just as we can't make an exact human-to-animal comparison of emotions, we wouldn't be able to equate the direct emotions of aliens, biblical entities, celestial bodies, thematic archetypes, etc etc etc. It can feel spiritual, natural, mechanical, artificial, or anything in between really. Possibly even a combination of them.

Alteraffectis attraction is very hard to make concise while including any amount of nuance, so sorry about that.

Buuut yeah, I hope that helped even a little bit. Thanks for the opportunity to talk at length about queer attractions ^-^

[yardsards]

I hear you and I agree with you but also I raise you: queerplatonic the spares?

assuming you're talking about this post that i made a while back but blew up again recently?

i got a very similar ask back when i first made the post (which is buried somewhere in the depths of my blog bc tumblr search sucks) and i'll say now approximately what i said back then:

that kind of sucks too, actually.

the main problem with the "pair the spares" and "everyone must be paired" tropes is that they generally imply that it's not a happy ending unless everyone is in a committed monogamous romantic relationship. that characters (and real people, by extension) are somehow incomplete without a romantic partner, just like a sad single sock.

and removing the word "romantic" (or even any of the other adjectives as well) from those sentences and allowing them to include queerplatonic partnerships too doesn't really make the idea that much better. doing that doesn't break down the walls, just widens them a bit so that more people can be allowed in.

like yeah, one of the problems with the "you're incomplete without a romantic partner" idea is that it excludes people who can't feel romance. but that's far from the ONLY problem with it (in fact, the term "amatonormativity" wasn't even coined with aromantics specifically in mind, iirc).

it tells single people that they're not good enough, that they're incomplete. it tells single people who want a relationship that this isn't just a matter of "aw bummer, you want this thing but don't have it yet" but is rather a massive fundamental issue in their life that must take priority and be solved posthaste. it tells people who are happily single (including happily single alloromantics. because yes, they exist. not everyone who feels romantic attraction necessarily thinks that getting into a traditional romantic relationship about those feelings is right for them) that they're just deluding themselves and that they truly would be happiest in a partnership. it tells people who are in unhappy relationships that it would be better to stay than to become single. it says that relationships must look a certain way. it says that friendship is insufficient and is always inherently lesser than a partnership.

and allowing "partnership" and "relationship" to include queerplatonic as well as romantic doesn't fix a lot of those

amatonormativity is a cage that hurts those who can fit themselves in it as well as those who can't. widening the cage to allow more people in won't fix that. and there will always be people who don't fit inside the cage no matter how much you widen it. for example, non-partnering aros exist and would still be excluded here.

(and on another note: "pair the spares" and "everyone must be paired" generally are used derisively to refer to like. when characters are shoddily shoved together last minute because the writers couldn't figure out what else to do with them. it's generally just like, bad writing. and while i would LOVE more queerplatonic relationships, i want them to actually be GOOD, not just be some sloppy seconds leftover from a romantic ship.)

anyway i got rambly and possibly confusing there, and went Way Too Deep about what was almost definitely just a silly lighthearted ask. but i have so many Thoughts on the matter

there's just like. this mindset i notice (primarily in newer/younger aromantics who have just begun to question amatonormativity). where they see queerplatonic relationships and just think "ah, so this is just our version of a romantic relationship?" and don't really think about the complexities. ignoring the fact that some social constructs around romance are simply Not Good and that they will not become good if you separate them from romance. and ignoring that queerplatonic relationships are not always just "like a romantic relationship but minus the romance".

like it's a mindset that i understand (and i think was a lot like how i thought when i was younger and first figuring out these concepts). because this shit is CONFUSING and hard to explain and complicated to think about and so hard to unpack. so i hope i'm not coming across as rude to anon or anyone like that. it's just kinda something that's on my mind a good bit so i went off on a ramble, y'know?

edit: dug up the old post with a similar ask

[lastbreathskyward]

queerplatonic skwistok

i've been thinking a lot about their dynamic recently and i love a lot of different interpretations but i have a soft spot for queerplatonic skwistok :)

i think skwisgaar isn't really interested in finding his one true love or whatever, but toki definitely has a special place in his heart. i also don't see him as monogamous and he would continue being with lots of groupies without it being an issue between him and toki. he might even be on the aromantic spectrum.

toki on the other hand is looking for a partner, even though he might not fully know what that would look like for him, and in the end whether it's romantic or platonic or something in between doesn't matter, as long as he can be with one special person. (and i don't think he would get jealous of the groupies unless he feels like skwisgaar is neglecting their quality time haha).

also i think they don't necessarily have sex with each other in this scenario. skwisgaar might be attracted to all kinds of people but i feel like sex to him is more something he just does for fun like other people do with other hobbies, rather than to fulfill an emotional need, and there's not much (if any) of an emotional component to it in regards to his sexual partners.

toki on the other hand rarely thinks about sex at all. he might have sex on occasion and enjoy it but overall it doesn't take up a whole lot of his mental real estate. somewhere on the asexual spectrum.

toki is a lot more physically affectionate though so he sometimes cuddles with the other band members when skwisgaar needs his space. but when skwisgaar does want to cuddle/show physical affection etc toki is the first and usually only person he goes to.

in any case, it's always the two of them. when something requires more than one person, or simply to hang out in the same room doing whatever.

they take care of each other as best as they can. they're the most important people to each other. they're cosmically linked

[polyamorouscultureis]

Hi, I have a situation that I can’t really talk about with ppl. I need to talk to someone about it tho bc I’m so confused, I hope it’s ok I’m asking you? When I find ppl in similar situations online, all I see is them being shamed and told they don’t really love their partner. I thought maybe ppl who are poly have more understanding for how I’m feeling. That’s why I’m here. I’ve been with my partner for 12 years now and I’m so in love with them, I want to spend life with them. I also have a good friend that I like very much. I want her in my life. Recently I’ve been starting to think about her a lot more and even started to feel butterflies when I see her or when I think of her and I want to see her a lot more. I have no real desire to be with her like in a romantic or sexual relationship. I just want to spend time with her, hug/cuddle, laugh and talk. I want to be close to her emotionally, but not really sexually. I feel really confused about this crush and idk if I have to tell my partner? I don’t want to make them unnecessarily insecure or jealous. I know my partner and I think if I told them they’d want me to stop seeing this friend of mine. And this just makes me sad and idk if I’m being unfair here. Should I communicate my feelings even though I don’t even really know myself what these feelings mean? Maybe those feelings will pass and I’m just overthinking it?

I'll be honest with you, sometimes the lines are so blurry between friendship, romance, and sexual attraction that trying to find a label for it is more energy than it's worth. In my ideal world, everyone would do whatever they want to do with different people without feeling the need to put their desires into just one category.

I dont know if you have a crush on your friend, but it's clear that you care about both her and your partner very deeply. In my opinion, you should never feel the need to choose between a partner and a friend being in your life. But when the lines aren't clear I understand that it gets complicated.

I would talk to your partner about it, not necessarily trying to open the relationship or anything (unless you want to), but just getting clarity on what the two of you consider to be cheating (holding hands, cuddling, kissing cheeks, kissing lips, different kinds of sex, etc?) and make sure they are comfortable with the ways you interact with your friend. It doesn't necessarily mean dating them, but you can still be emotionally close. You mentioned, for example, wanting to cuddle with your friend but not be sexually involved. If your partner sees no issue with cuddling, then everyone gets what they want and no one feels guilty, jealous, or disappointed! If they're not, the two of you can spend some time drawing specific lines. And of course, reassurance that loving many people in many different ways doesn't mean loving anyone any less.

Queerplatonic relationships are also a thing you may have heard of that sounds sort of like what you and your friend are touching on. Might be worth looking into!

I hope this was somewhat helpful for you, and I hope all conversations you have go smoothly <3

[the-force-awakens]

sorry sorry I'm still riding the high of yesterday's episode. do you know? do you know what it's like to be aroace and queerplatonic to watch that ending? I'm going to get personal on main for a second - despite the fact that I am in the most wonderful, most loving, best relationship with my dearest friends my actual true norths and my soulmates, despite all our plans for the future — I've spent so long unable to imagine a happy future for myself, because I thought "I'll always be the one without a romantic partner so I will always be the outsider and never truly belong and my feelings for them don't matter as much because it's not just straight friendship and it's not even romantic so how selfish of me is it to want a relationship with the level of commitment that a romantic one has, when I can't even feel those things?"

and it's not even that I necessarily want a romantic partner, I just had it drilled into my head that I wouldn't be happy and that I'd never belong. That I still wouldn't fit in with the people I hold most dear in my life. The internalized arophobia was so strong that I was actually crushed when I realized my queerplatonic attraction wasn't romantic attraction.

(and I do know my feelings matter bc I've got great partners who constantly reinforce that and I love them dearly for it, it's just hard to remember)

And after a year (or more) of seeing people value romantic relationships on here more than interpretations of friendship or qprs, of watching shows bend itself over backwards to make sure no one is single because clearly the only thing that matters in life is a romantic relationship — having Doctor Who come out of the gate with three entire episodes dedicated to the galaxy shaping, profound, pure and strong adoration that the Doctor and Donna have for each other was a breath of fresh air.

But yesterday's episode? Oh my god. When Donna said he could come home I had to pause the episode because I broke down sobbing. I wept for so fucking long yesterday because it was the most cathartic, affirming thing I had ever watched in my entire life — because the Doctor loves Donna and Donna loves the Doctor and that is held just as equally as her love for her family and her husband, and it is treated as the thing that the Doctor needs and wants the most. Donna knew her life wasn't complete because her best friend wasn't there.

Doctor Who looked every single queerplatonic aroace in the eyes and said "actually, the future is a garden full of the people you love, and you're right in the middle of that family, loved and understood and exactly where you belong" and it's the most fucking healing thing I've ever had the privilege of watching, and I'm pretty sure it threw out some of the internalized arophobia I carry.

[hollow-keys]

Ian and Barbara from Doctor Who! And Two/Jamie. And also Mae/Linda from DC (bc of the icon)

IanBarbara (do they have a ship name? that's what I'm calling them) is perhaps one of the most "makes sense" pairings in all of Doctor Who (bold statement but they really do work). I wouldn't say I actively ship them though because I'm kinda attached to these heteros being really good friends but they are a good pairing (I know they get together in the EU tho, which is fine because it's not a "quick! we need to pair off these characters regardless of if it makes sense!" situation). They're Mulder and Scully to me, basically.

TwoJamie as a dynamic compels me more (love whatever they got going on) but I would say it makes slightly less sense, mostly because of the age gap (not between the Doctor and Jamie because he's a Time Lord, he's always going to be old but because of the 24 year age gap between the actors. Since 450 year old people don't exist, as a viewer I can only go by actor ages really). I don't think shipping them is bad or whatever, it's just hard not to notice it. The reason they're not higher in the "compels me" section is because I haven't decided whether I view them platonically or not so they're in limbo there, and I'm probably not going to decide definitivley because it's not about that for me.

I just really love how ride or die they are for each other immediately like when Two sees him again in The Underwater Menace and he's like "JAMIE!!!" even though he was not that happy to see the others (tunnel vision frfr). And in the Jamie audio story where Raven remarks Two seems particularly find of him 💚. And! How that affection remains across incarnations. Colin Baker has functionally said his Doctor is aroace (exact quote: "Love is a human emotion and the Doctor isn't human" (which... saying love is what makes us human is not great)) but the point is Six still cares for Jamie so much, regardless of the type of love he feels. Like in the Wreck of the Titan, the first thing he does after getting Jamie back is take him on a luxury cruise he'd been saving tickets for 🥺. (Well, attempts to do that. They end up on the Titanic LMAO).

MaeLinda isn't here because I haven't read Supergirl (1996), sorry (over 700 comics read seems like a lot but it's actually nothing 😔). Mae's my icon because I liked her in the Death of Superman, but I will read more of her stuff (and then gain MaeLinda opinions) but I'm currently possessed by my Doctor Who obsession.

In general, I tend to be less of an avid romance shipper and more of a dynamic enjoyer, which sometimes means shipping and sometimes doesn't. It's about closeness, not necessarily about how that closeness is defined (platonic? queerplatonic? romantic? who knows). They're partners (ambiguous).

Thanks for asking!

[bloggingboutburgers]

hello there. i noticed you sometime give advice related to qprs so i thought i should go to you. you can ignore this though no worries

so i am in a qpr, but i am also non-partnering + am no longer connected to the queerplatonic label. if it were with anyone else, i wouldn't be in a qpr or any other kind of partnership. (i got into the qpr before i realized i was non-partnering)

while i am comfortable labeling our relationship as a qpr, i am worried that it's really one-sided and unfair? like i don't give enough care into our label, and i notice they talk about it way more than i do. it's like they enjoy the label way more than i do, and their partner should match the same energy. but i don't.

they say they're happy and fulfilled but idk. is it really right for me to be in a qpr if it's not something i actively want?

thank you for reading.

I think in a lot of ways, I can relate with you tbh – I hope that's OK to say.

I also didn't have any plans on getting any kind of partner before by queerplatonic partner offered the idea of a qpr, and I kind of went into it in a very shruggy anticlimatic way at first – which took them aback a fair bit. I also think if it weren't for them offering, and their orientations being so compatible with mine in what we're OK or not OK with, I may very well never have been in a qpr.

There's also some words they're comfortable with using that I'm not – notably the word "dating", which I always do a double-take on, even though for some reason I'm OK with the occasional word "date" to talk about our hangouts (I guess it's because I don't necessarily perceive it quite as romantic-coded since the word "playdate" is used for kids for instance? idk).

I also worry similarly at times that I'm not as comfortable with some words or labels as they are. But in fairness, I guess I've tried as much as I could to match their enthusiasm on a fair amount of things in my own way, to do them justice – well, I really shouldn't say "tried". It never felt like effort or a chore. And it never was to the point where I felt I had to bend my own personality or identity out of shape. A lot of the time it seems we're also both very happy to each take things at our own personal rhythms.

But also and most importantly... From what I can remember, whenever I bring up doubt, my partner also tells me they're happy and fulfilled – and if there's a problem, they'll bring it up – so I trust them. So... I guess I can only encourage you to do the same? The way I see it, as long as you're vibing with that person and with the relationship you have, however it's labelled, and as long as it doesn't feel like a chore, something uncomfortable, or something you're forcing yourself to bear with every day, I don't think you're being unfair, and I think you have every right. It doesn't have to be something you actively want, as long as it's something you like!

If you're just going through the motions and not comfortable with your situation and just putting up a front, though, that's a different story, it's not quite as fair to you or them and it could build resentment which could turn into something worse. But it doesn't have to be that way, and it could very well be that you're happy with what you have and just don't use the same words as your partner to describe your shared situation, and honestly, that's OK in my book, as long as it's OK with them as well! You're not expected to be the same person and process things the same way, as long as you each know how the other feels and are OK with that I think it's the most important, and it's plenty fair.

[dee-in-the-box]

happy pride month, y'all! have some pride headcanons!!

none of these people are straight and/or cis to me. they've all got some weird queerness going on with them

Jack: transmasc (he/him mostly, but probably wouldn't mind they/them that much), bisexual. could see him being acespec, but sex favorable or indifferent. polyamorous.

Dave: nonbinary in a "i don't understand gender and idgaf about it" way (he/him, but honestly doesn't care. probably would find out about it/its pronouns and love those), pansexual. teach this guy about xenogenders i think he'd love those too. polyamorous (i can see it).

Peter: transfem bigender (he/she), and honestly doesn't know what her sexuality would be considering his weird gender situation (look, he grew up in the 50s-60s. the most exposure to the queer community she had was through Jack, and that wasn't. A Lot). me personally? i'd say lesbian. because Fuck It, Why Not?

Dee: technically cis because she never got to grow up and figure that stuff out (she/her), but i could see her growing up and being on the spectrum of GNC or Genderqueer (the genderqueer part is Definitely not me projecting (< lie)). also aroace (repulsed on both ends)

Henry: cis man (he/him; the first entirely cis person here), bisexual. listen. i heard that thing that was like. DD originally said he was bi but then changed it to straight after getting hate for it for some reason, and i decided to make it a situation where Henry just like. Acknowledged it was a thing for him but didn't really give any fucks because he busy Committing Crimes Against Humanity. everyone thinks he's straight though, 'cause he never mentions it (again, busy with Other Things. such as Causing Problems).

Steven: cis man (he/him), gay. This Is The Shortest Fucking One. also, Steven is the shortest adult of the cast; he's 5'5".

Harry: masc nonbinary dude (he/they), bisexual, polyamorous.

Jake: cis man (he/him), graysexual panromantic, polyamorous.

Roger: probably got some genderfuckery there, but i'll just say A Dude (gender neutral) for now (he/him), gay (as in Likes Men Or Masc-Leaning People), polyamorous. didn't realize the Gay & Poly Part until Dsaf 3. You'll Never Guess How He Found Out!

Rebecca: transfem (she/they/xe), and just queer in general. not exactly poly, but she doesn't mind Harry's...other partners (Jake and Roger). it's sort of a "This is my boyfriend, and this is my boyfriend's boyfriends! ^-^" situation.

and for a few others:

Caroline: cis woman (she/her), cupioromantic (aromantic micro-label; basically means that you don't feel romantic attraction, but still desire a romantic relationship) heterosexual. she still loves Peter, her love just isn't necessarily "romantic." i'd describe it more like queerplatonic. she got married to Peter because she does genuinely care for him and love him, but also because...well, it was what was expected of her. besides, she doesn't mind being married, it's actually pretty nice. Caroline's as close as y'all are going to get to a cishet Dsaf character from these headcanons.

Matt: transmasc agender (he/him), aroace (romance indifferent/favorable (see: "I'm Matt! Everybody loves me!"), sex indifferent/repulsed (do i even need to explain it? i think we know why this was what i picked for him).

now, fun facts!!

Jack actually doesn't experience a lot of dysphoria, just upset that he doesn't have a dick. he doesn't even mind the boobs too much (except that they make people think he's a woman; that part sucks), he'd probably just like a binder. wouldn't mind top surgery, but y'know. Binders Are Easier To Get And Cheaper Than That.

Dee is romance repulsed in terms of herself for the most part (as in the idea of being romantic herself grosses her out). except for Davesport. she told Jack and Dave to "get a room" multiple times in the Flipside.

Blackjack technically has the same labels as Jack, but y'know. Ghost Dog.

Henry doesn't understand why so many queer people work at Fazbender's (Jack, Steven, Peter, etc) because he just. keeps killing them. not due to the queerness but because They Keep Getting In His Way. what is it about the Chuck E Cheese rip-offs that attracts the gays?? Is It The Bears?? Is It The Fucking BEARS??? (i had to make the joke. i had to)

Modern Day Queer Discourse would piss Jack off. he was alive in the 60s and 70s when that shit was getting more mainstream. he's effectively a queer elder, technically (even if he kinda sorta Looks perpetually twenty-two because he kinda can't age anymore). he's seen some shit. i can see him saying on someone's "He/Him Lesbians Aren't A Thing >:(" post "my bigender brother is a lesbian, though. he's got a wife" and then logging off. you can't tell me he wouldn't

I Stand By My Statement: None Of The Kennedy Siblings Have A Normal Relationship With Gender. They Just Don't.

Jack just uses a lot of slurs for himself. he's got. So Fucking Many that he can reclaim (because y'know. Gay/Bi and Trans. and he was alive during the 60s and 70s. so you can only imagine the shit he's heard or had thrown at him).

the first time in his life that Dave ever had to worry about gender stuff was when Henry was having to like. fill out paperwork and things like that to get him an ID of some kind. when they got to gender, Dave didn't really know why that was important, nor what would really fit. they just put "male" on there because technically that would "fit him best" (since he, y'know. has a dick), but Dave didn't feel like either option fit.

i feel like Jack went to a pride event/parade sometime before Dsaf 3. like, maybe he finally felt comfortable actually going there and being out safely for the first time in his life. it was nice.

Caroline helped Peter with her makeup after she came out, and with growing his hair out.

after coming home post-Dsaf 2, Peter actually tried some dresses out. they also found out a way to still put eyeliner on him. and that was using a Sharpie to draw under her phone dial to look like eyeliner. hey, it works.

Peter never got comfortable enough to wear lipstick before he died, though :( so she never got to experience that

Jack: "If I had a nickel for every time I was someone's gay awakening, I'd have three nickels. Which isn't a lot, but how does this keep happening-" (the three people in question are Dave, Jake, and Roger)

i have so many more istg, but this post is getting long. might talk about some more if anyone's interested, though!

[ace-aro-queerplatonic-positivity]

The Multiamory Podcast did an Episode (Ep.438) discussing the intersection of polyamory and aromanticism.

Explicitly polyamorous/ polyaffectionate aromantics, not asexuals!

You are all welcome to chip in/ add on through reblogs and tags and commentary!

The relevant Facebook announcement got shared into a group I happen to be in and as I commented, thanking the person for sharing it seeing as the group wasn’t aro-related at all, I got politely asked to explain how polyamory works for me as an aromantic asexual.

Keep in mind this explanation was targeted for an audience/ readership of allo-allo polyamorous people.

Also: CONTENT WARNING ⚠️

Internalised acephobia, self-depreciation, implication of sexualised abuse, mention of faithfulness

So the first thing I always say is that: disclaimer – obviously I can only talk about my personal perspective and aromantic people are very diverse, asexual people are very diverse

I just happen to be an asexual aromantic, whereas many aromantics are allosexual (meaning any sexual orientation that isn’t asexuality); seeing as this post is explicitly about the intersection of aromanticism and polyamory

I personally want a queerplatonic/ alterous life partner

That’s my personal wish, I want someone to share my life with

I consider myself polyaffectionate, seeing as I’m not “amorous” in any way shape or form

To me this means a few things

1) I practice relationship anarchy – I do not place a romantic relationship on some arbitrary pedestal, every relationship is important to me and that relationship looking like romance doesn’t mean much

For the other things I need to explain about myself first

I am a sex-averse asexual. I have had sex. I didn’t like it. I am generally sex-positive but I don’t necessarily want/ seek sex as part of any committed relationship; rather I’d avoid sex

(This following bit is self-depreciation but) Because of that I think I shouldn’t “tie down” any partner. Someone willing to be with me shouldn’t suffer for it and hence I don’t see a point in being possessive/ demanding sexual faithfulness – although the details would need to depend on the partner(s) and situation

Also due to me not making a grave distinction between “best friend” and “date friend” I just think it’s easier to call myself polyaffectionate since relationships involving me need thorough explanation anyway

I have explored through writing* what I’d like for myself and that basically always ends up that I’d like to be comfortable “sharing” my partner with pre-determined other people

I would only agree to a closed polycule, although I don’t need to be involved with everyone in it

Also I always hoped if I get that, if I get to have a queerplatonic polycule, it could be a found family and support network more than dating in the classical sense

Again, keep in mind all of this is just my personal perspective and I don’t speak for other aromantic people or other asexual people

Many asexuals are fine with/ want sex

Some aromantics are non-partnering/ would only practice solo-poly

My ideal relationship would be having one or two partners I live with, who are my family, who I can cuddle or leave to their own devices, basically a house share and we each cuddle and kiss each other as we please 🙈

—The thing is I’m aware I probably talk like someone who doesn’t value themself enough

Like, if I believed I could be enough for a partner my whole stance would be slightly different

But I have not yet made the experience that what I can offer (a sexless, queerplatonic commitment) is enough for people

I’m fully aware that mindset isn’t healthy but until someone proves I can be enough for them, well… “outsourcing” sex is easier than worrying

And if it’s a genuine relationship I’m happy for them, in any case

I wholeheartedly mean that I’d like a closed polycule and would be comfortable as described

But I also acknowledge that part of it comes from feeling inadequate/ not wanting to hold back the person(s) I love

I just know I can’t provide what – to many people – is a need

And since I know I can love more than one person at the same time I think getting to be with someone who also has other partners is my best chance… if that makes sense

As I said, I write a lot and with my latest novel-attempt* I think I found the relationship model I’d be comfortable with 🙈

* I have indeed written multiple fan fictions as well as original fiction about a self-insert character navigating relationships as I would like them to play out (setting aside the overarching plot of the individual fiction works) but seeing as I’m a pro-shipper and actually do have a writing side-blog, I don’t feel all that comfortable to just straight-up link my own writing here. Due to the here relevant works all featuring central relationships with a self-insert character, these works are also deeply personal. More so than other ship fiction I have written. I have linked these works on here before - as part of “#queerplatonic fiction” lists - but never really put “my name” (this blog’s URL) directly to them

[3rr0r-202]

Hi welcome to me trying my best to explain why futureshipping(acronix x Cyrus) is so popular /why people like it sm.

(I'll try my best :(´◦ω◦｀💧):ﾟﾟ I'm not the best at explaining )

(Also @alanshee-keeper-of-realms tagging bc futureshipping content yaaaay! )

1. So first of all the main reason probably is the fact that both of them love technology *a lot* ! And in my opinion a shared interest is always good in **any** relationship bc both people can indulge in it together >:D at least that's what I think

In fact acronix has complimented Cyrus' tech! Despite being "enemies" in canon.

In fact he literally calls the borg pad amazing and then goes shows off different features he's fascinated by from his technology PLUS HE'S LITERALLY ALMOST ALWAYS WEARING THE BORG WATCH sure this doesn't necessarily 100% *have* to mean that acronix likes cyrus but no ones stopping you from interpreting it like that. so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

( screenshots are from a YouTube video:)

And this shared interest can lead to making up many fun/interesting scenarios! Such as them using it together, borg explaining to him how modern tech works etc!

This actually leads me to my next point!

2. It opens opportunities to create interesting alternative scenarios such as what if acronix bonded over cyrus with tech? What would their relationship have been if acronix wasn't evil? Etc! The thing is you don't necessarily have to make it a fully romantic scenario either for example you can make them friends/friends with benefits, queerplatonic partners etc. I'm know there's multiple people who like acronix and and sometimes wish he had a redemption arc of sorts and technically this is one of the ways you could do it!

Oh yea may I add this? you know that scene with cyrus and machia(did I spell this correctly ?) but idk if anyone else sees it this way but acronix does look a bit concerned here. Sure he compliments Machias evilness right after but in a way it's still implying that he *maybe* does care for cyrus to some extent

(Once again the screen shot is from YouTube)

Yea so that's all I have for now. In my opinion ship anything you like as long as the ship isn't toxic, illegal or anything like it then go ahead and do whatever :33

[jrhartauthor]

When it comes to writing contemporary romance, there are certain expectations that readers may have:

A happily ever after or happy for now ending (HEA or HFN)

Chemistry between the main character and love interest

Intimacy

But when it comes to the last point, it’s high time to recognize that intimacy comes in different forms. For one, not every book needs on-page sexual intimacy. Many writers choose a closed-door sex scene, or to have their characters go as far as kissing and stop short of anything past that. But as LGBTQ+ representation in fiction grows, and we start to see more asexual and aromantic rep in stories, it may not just be about what an author wants to share on the page, but also about what a character feels comfortable with doing with their partner.

When it comes to writing characters under the ace and aro umbrellas, it’s important to know that these identities aren’t a monolith. Some asexual characters are sex-repulsed. Some enjoy sex in the right circumstances. Some enjoy sex under all circumstances. Asexual simply means “does not experience sexual attraction.” It doesn’t necessarily mean the character doesn’t want to have sex. Similarly, asexual characters may have an identity anywhere along the ace spectrum. A character could be asexual, gray asexual, demisexual… the list goes on.

Aromantic characters could want a queerplatonic partnership. Some aromantic characters may be okay with a relationship where their partner is alloromantic, and experiences and shares romantic feelings toward them, even if they don’t share those feelings in return, and that’s okay too.

When writing your character, taking time to research their specific identity and make sure that you’re writing it authentically is a huge help. Spend time learning about the terms used within the ace and aro communities, and what your character might feel, think, and understand of sexuality and romance.

As I wrote The Heartbreak Handshake, I honestly wondered whether or not readers would be okay with an contemporary romance with hugging as the peak of physical intimacy in the story. While the series it is a part of—the Clover Hill Romance series—ranges from no sex on page to open-door fully descriptive sex, and I knew there was a place for it in the series itself, having space in a series and space in readers’ hearts is a very different thing.

It turns out a lot of my fears were unfounded. The reality is, pushing your character outside of their comfort zone will bother a reader far more than writing something they may feel is “tame” by comparison to other stories. And if they’re not a fan of where your character (and you) draw the line? They may not be your target audience!

Regardless of if you’re writing the spiciest of spice allo romance, or an asexual one, using inclusive language is incredibly important. In the same way that you wouldn’t want to say “my friend Taz likes both genders,” (if Taz likes men and women, you can say men and women without dismissing that other genders exist), using inclusive language when it comes to asexuality and aromanticism can be helpful too. Check out the difference between these two ways of phrasing things:

“After spending so much time with her, my hope is that one day, we’ll be more than friends.”

“After spending so much time with my best friend, my hope is that she’ll feel the same spark I do.”

Both of these sentences imply that two people are on the cusp of a potential relationship, and that maybe they’ve been friends in the past with a possibility the relationship may shift in the future. Now take this example into consideration.

“Judging by the way they both acted, I got the impression they were more than friends.”

“Judging by the way they both acted, I got the impression they were definitely into each other.”

Again, both sentences convey the same basic meaning. But once again, one conveys that being friends is “less than” being in a romantic or sexual relationship. This isn’t true! And for many, a friendship is equally (or more) desirable.

All it takes is a little shifting of your language to make it more inclusive, and make sure that you’re putting romantic, sexual, and platonic relationships on equal footing.

If you’re not asexual or aromantic, writing a character that is can be hard. After all, there are tons of misconceptions about asexual and aromantic people. Hiring a sensitivity reader within this community—especially if they share your character’s exact identity—can help you ensure the most accurate portrayal possible. Even if you are ace or aro, the reality is, different ace and aro people have different experiences, and getting a second perspective (or third! Or fourth!) can help you flesh out your character more realistically. Lived experience when writing will almost always be better than writing a character you don’t share an identity with, especially if that identity is a margilized one—like another race, sexuality, or gender identity. Keeping that in mind as you write can help you pick your character and what you’re writing to begin with.

No one will ever argue that beta reading isn’t difficult or time consuming, but unlike beta reading, sensitivity reading places a special burden on the reader, often on a marginalized reader. Sensitivity reads are often reserved for reading a specific racial, sexual, gender, cultural, or disabled identity, and this can put a huge emotional or mental drain on a sensitivity reader. As a result, sensitivity reading should be paid work whenever possible. That said, if a sensitivity reader is up for a work or goods exchange, by all means, that’s an option too. Just remember that a sensitivity read requires a very different skillset and level of effort than beta reading or editing, and should be compensated accordingly.

You don’t have to skirt around your characters’ identity in writing. Often, sharing character identity actually helps a reader find what they’re looking for, both as you write and as you market your work as a writer. Being unapologetic about your characters’ ace or aro identity can help you find the readers your book is after.

Understanding Asexuality-The Trevor Project The Asexuality Visibility and Education Network (AVEN)* Asexuality, Attraction, and Romantic Orientation-UNC Chapel Hill’s LGBTQ Center 5 Asexuals Explain what Asexuality Means to Them-Tinder (Video) 4 Demisexual People Explain what Demisexuality Means to Them-Tinder (Video) r/Asexuality and r/Aromantic on Reddit (Additional identities linked in Reddit Sidebars)** What it Means to be Aromantic-VeryWellMind Aromantic-spectrum Union for Recognition, Education, and Advocacy (AUREA)

*Please note: AVEN’s forums have sometimes been problematic. Your mileage may vary. Viewer discretion is advised.

**Reddit can often be problematic, especially outside of LGBTQ+ subreddits, but also within them. Viewer discretion is advised.

Please note Amazon links are affiliate links

The Heartbreak Handshake (cis m/nonbinary)

Goodreads | Amazon

Clover Hill Romance Series website | Goodreads | Amazon

Sex-repulsed asexual MC, nonbinary MC, autistic MC with sensory aversion to sexual intimacy, MC with ADHD

Content warnings: real-life aviation disasters resulting in death, autistic character faces unkindness for being autistic, referenced ace-phobia

Paxton McKee, Clover Hill’s rideshare driver and handyman, is known by his customers as responsible, dependable, and loyal. On first dates, though, he’s known by another word: boring. His dates never seem to appreciate his in-depth knowledge of famous aviation disasters or his LEGO expertise. His book club buddy, Mrs. Sawyer, keeps trying to set him up. But after so many failed dates, Paxton’s given up on finding someone who can accept him, special interests, stims, and all.

Hand-crafter Remi Sawyer put Clover Hill in their rear-view mirror to sell at craft fairs across the country. But being a traveling artisan is harder than Remi thought. With mounting bills, they’ve ended up back home. Being in their old teenage bedroom is weird. Even weirder, their mother keeps trying to set them up on dates, even after they’ve made it clear the homecoming is temporary.

To get Mrs. Sawyer off their backs, Paxton and Remi agree on a scheme: they’ll go on three dates. When it’s over, Paxton can pretend to be heartbroken, and Remi can get back on the road. They even shake on it. But awkward dates lead to the realization the two have a lot in common. Kissing is gross? Check. Spending quiet time doing projects together is enjoyable? Double check.

But Remi is still hell-bent on leaving Clover Hill again, and Paxton is dead-set on staying. Can they find a new vision that doesn’t involve Remi leaving their kindred spirit behind, or are they both destined to lose the person who might be their perfect companion?

–

Go Truck Yourself (cis f/nonbinary)

Coming Soon

Clover Hill Romance Series website | Goodreads | Amazon

Aromantic MC, nonbinary MC, Asexual MC, bi/panromantic MC, single parent MC, autistic child side character

Content warnings: attempted business sabotage, mentions of absentee parents, brief mention of a parent’s sobriety/rehab, brief mention of a deceased parent, mention of the death of a sperm donor/family member, minors using curse words, family member with dementia, mention of foreign exchange study programs in a positive light, mentions of travel social media and modern colonization

Between being a single parent and running a successful food truck, Myla Horan has no room for drama in her life. She's got her nose to the grindstone to make Tasteful Noods a successful noodle business year-round. But when her friend-turned-rival Zo comes back to town, they start to squeeze into her prime Clover Hill locations… and her profit margins.

After Zo moves back to town to care for their ailing uncle and starts a business of their own, they’re not surprised that Myla’s Tasteful Noods are faring better than their tiny food trailer, You're My Jam. After all, driven Myla can do anything she sets her mind to. Unfortunately, it also means all of the animosity they ended things with has resurfaced.

When Myla and Zo agree there's only room in Clover Hill for one of them, they make a deal: whoever loses the First Annual Clover Hill Food Truck Frenzy shuts down their truck. Forever.

But will serious sabotage leave them both truckless for the competition and threaten both of their chances at victory? Or will they work together as an unexpected dream team and find out they’re better as partners than rivals after all?

–

Getting Off (cis m/cis m)

Goodreads | Amazon | NineStar Press Website

Demisexual MC, biromantic/bisexual MC, gay MC

Content warnings: homophobia, homophobic slurs, bi-erasure, biphobia, sexual assault (on page), forced outing

JJ is certain he’s got everything figured out. He’s straight, right? He’s just not into the hookup culture prevalent on his college soccer team. But he’s trying to hide that to avoid getting on his team captain’s bad side.

Kade is anything but straight. Out and proud, he’s curious about how the “other half” lives… even as his best friends remind him there’s more to the LGBTQ+ community than just the “G.” Curious, Kade texts JJ a simple question: do straight guys ever get off together?

When JJ’s reply leads to a head-spinning sexual spark, he starts questioning everything he knows about his sexuality, both in terms of who he’s attracted to, and also why hookups have never been his thing. But when JJ endures trauma that confuses him more, he starts pushing Kade away. Kade has to learn how to be a supportive friend, and more than that, a supportive partner, or risk losing JJ altogether. And JJ? He has to fight for his team to be team players, even when they suspect he’s “playing for the other team.”

Please note: I haven’t read every book on the above lists, and cannot vouch for them. My inclusion of these lists here is not a recommendation of these books specifically, but instead an indication they exist.

LGBTQReads List of Books by Romantic/Sexual Orientation from @lgbtqreads

EpicREADS list of 23 YA Books with Asexual Representation from @epicreads

QueerBooksforTeens list of books with Aromantic Characters

QueerBooksforTeens list of books with Asexual Characters

Buzzfeed’s list of 17 Books about Asexual and Aromantic Validation from @buzzfeedbooks (cc: @buzzfeedlgbt)

Did you find this post helpful? Consider buying me a Ko-Fi!