#I do believe in and trust myself more than ever before

[dissapointu]

Writing to a dead person (ambessa x reader)

My Dearest,

It feels strange to write to you like this, knowing you will never see these words. But the silence is unbearable, and I have no one else to tell the truth to—not like I could with you. You were always the one who could see through me, who could pull the truth from my lips no matter how deeply I tried to bury it.

I told myself I didn't need anyone. For years, I built walls around myself, convinced that strength meant solitude. That vulnerability was a weakness I could not afford. And then you came along, with your infuriating smile and your maddening persistence. You slipped through the cracks I didn't even know were there, and before I realized it, you had taken root in my heart.

Do you know how terrifying that was? To love someone the way I loved you? To trust you with parts of myself I had never shown to anyone else? I fought it at first, of course I did. But you were relentless. And, gods help me, I was weak for you. I still am.

When I look back now, I see all the ways I failed you. All the moments I could have been kinder, softer. I let my pride speak for me too often, and I let my fears keep me from telling you what you deserved to hear. I should have told you every day how much you meant to me. I should have held you longer, kissed you deeper, made you feel as loved as you made me feel. But I didn't. And now, it's too late.

I can still see you sometimes, in the quiet moments. I hear your laugh, feel your touch, and for a fleeting second, it feels real. But then I reach out, and you're gone, and I am left with this hollow ache that nothing can fill.

You should be here, standing beside me, mocking my stubbornness and reminding me to eat. You should be the one holding me when the weight of all this becomes too much. Instead, I am alone, and the world is emptier without you in it.

The battlefield feels colder now. I used to fight for glory, for power, for ambition. But with you gone, those things mean nothing. Now, I fight because I don't know what else to do. It's the only way I know to keep moving forward, even when every step feels like a betrayal of your memory.

You were my light. My compass. The one person who could make me believe that there was more to life than conquest and strategy. And now that you're gone, I don't know who I am anymore.

I won the war, you know. Just like we planned. The world sees me as a hero, a lioness who cannot be defeated. But it is an empty victory. What is the point of triumph if you're not here to share it with me?

I've lost so much in my life. Friends, allies, even family. But nothing compares to losing you. Nothing could have prepared me for this void, this unbearable silence. And though I try to carry on, to honor your memory by doing the work we dreamed of, it feels like I am moving through a haze, a shadow of the person I used to be.

I miss you. Gods, I miss you more than words can ever express. I miss your voice, your laughter, the way you would challenge me when no one else dared. I miss the way you looked at me, like I was more than just a warrior or a leader. Like I was someone worth loving.

I don't know what comes next. I don't know how to move on from this. But I do know that I will carry you with me, in every step, every breath, every battle. You are a part of me now, as much as my blood and my bones. And though the world may see me as unbreakable, you are my one true weakness. The part of me I will never let go of.

I love you. I will always love you. And though you are gone, I will spend the rest of my life trying to be the person you believed I could be. Not for glory, not for power, but for you. Always for you.

Forever yours,

Ambessa

The quill dropped from her fingers, clattering softly against the table. Ambessa stared at the letter, her vision blurred by tears she didn't bother to wipe away.

She folded the parchment carefully, her hands steady despite the storm raging inside her. For a moment, she considered burning it, letting the words disappear like so many others she had left unspoken. But she couldn't bring herself to do it.

Instead, she tucked the letter into the small satchel she carried everywhere, alongside the other precious things she had kept over the years. It would remain there, a testament to the love she could never let go of, even as she continued to fight, to lead, to live in a world without you.

And though she would never send the letter, she hoped, somehow, that you would know. That wherever you were, you could hear the words she could never say aloud.

This is from my fic:

[fanficshiddles]

Eternally Mine, Chapter 52

Louise had been awake for a little while the following morning. She found it so strange being back in her old room, with her vampire boyfriend. The thought made her smile like mad.

She couldn’t help but just stare at Chris for a while. He was so beautiful and peaceful, his features more prominent from the rising sun peeking through the curtains. She still couldn’t believe that he was with her, that they were soulmates.

Chris always told her that he was the lucky one, but she felt like it was the other way round. Having him meet her parents was a big thing for her, she had been so nervous that he was going to bail last minute or something and decide he didn’t want to be with her in a serious way. ‘Cause what was more serious than meeting the parents after all?

‘I can tell your mind is racing, pumpkin… Everything ok?’ Chris drawled sleepily as he suddenly opened his eyes.

Louise let out a small squeak and quickly closed her eyes in response, feeling shy at being caught staring at him. Chris chuckled and put his arms around her, pulling her in really close so he could nuzzle her nose with his.

‘I know you’re awake.’ He grinned.

Louise tried hiding in against his neck.

‘Nu uh, no hiding from me.’ He gently gripped her hair and pulled her head back as he leaned back to look at her, he moved his hand round to cup her cheek. ‘What’s on that pretty mind of yours, hmm?’

‘I was just admiring how beautiful you are.’ Louise said shyly.

Chris smiled and brushed his thumb against her cheek. ‘All this time together, and everything we’ve done together, yet you still blush so easily for me.’ He teased lightly, that just made her worse as she got more flustered.

‘I just have the biggest crush on you and still can’t believe I’m your soulmate. I feel like I’m going to wake up at any moment and find it’s all been a dream.’ She admitted.

Chris’ heart melted. He slid his fingers through her hair. ‘I have the biggest crush on you too, pumpkin. You have no idea how you make me feel, just being around you. Every time you look at me or I look at you, I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you in my life.’

It was Louise’s turn for her heart to melt.

‘I just… I feel like you’re way too good for me. You’re this incredible vampire that is so amazing, powerful, smart, handsome, fun... You’re in a band, have a good high respecting job… and I’m just…’

Chris put his finger over her mouth, then kissed her softly.

‘Do not speak down on yourself, I don’t want to hear that from you, sweetheart. You have the kindest, sweetest heart I’ve ever met. You’re fun, bright, bubbly and so incredibly beautiful and sexy. You trust me, completely. Not many people do... I can be myself with you. We both have our demons chasing us from our past, and have out insecurities, but we’re together and will get through everything together. I just wish that you’d see how amazing you are. That you deserve to be happy.’

Louise tried to keep her emotions in check.

‘I know you love me. I think my emotions are just a bit all over the place. Being here, for some reason, has made me kind of realise just how amazing you are. That you’re here, too. Meeting my parents, showing that you’re serious about our relationship. Seeing how you react around them in comparison to… you know who.’ She sighed.

‘Come here.’ Chris pulled her head into him and they just hugged for a while.

‘Do you fancy going for a walk to feed the ducks? There’s a pond not far from here, next to a park I used to go to when I was a child. I think there’s still ducks there.’ Louise suggested quietly.

‘Sounds like a good idea. Especially before our siblings wake up and no doubt go at it. I don’t think I can cope hearing that again.’ Chris groaned.

Louise laughed as they rolled out of bed to get dressed.

-

When Louise and Chris returned from feeding the ducks, Loki was up but Claire was still in bed. Kevin and Vicky were up too. They all had breakfast and kept some aside for Claire.

When Claire did eventually get up, Louise was in the living room with their mum, just chatting. Claire went through to the kitchen to get her breakfast, to find Chris stood by the patio doors, looking outside while drinking coffee.

Claire looked out from the window over the sink and saw Loki outside with her dad. They were walking around, chatting. Kevin patted Loki on the shoulder a few times and they were both smiling.

‘What are they talking about?’ Claire asked Chris as she grabbed her breakfast plate.

Chris shrugged. ‘Just seem to be talking about gardening. Perhaps Loki’s starting to have a mid-life crisis… be prepared to get a greenhouse and raised beds in the garden next.’ Chris smirked at her.

‘Oh god.’ Claire groaned and made her way through to the living room with her food.

When Loki came inside, he went to the living room where the other three were. Vicky had gone upstairs, Kevin was still outside watering his plants.

‘If you’re going to start gardening, don’t expect me to help with weeding.’ Claire said to him with a mouthful of food when he walked in.

Loki looked baffled and he glanced at Chris, who was grinning from ear to ear.

‘Sorry lil’ bro… she was wondering what you were talking about with Kevin. Had to break the news that you’re taking an interest in his garden.’ Chris chuckled.

‘Oh, uh… yeah. Kinda thinking about setting up a little vegetable plot.’ Loki said quickly.

‘That would be so cute. Grow your own food, save some money. Nothing wrong with gardening at all. It can be rewarding and relaxing.’ Louise smiled.

‘No way. I hate everything to do with weeds, dirt and seeds.’ Claire pulled a face.

‘Just because you killed every single plant that dad tried to get you to grow when we were little.’ Louise teased.

‘Plants just hate me.’ Claire huffed and shrugged.

‘Ok, maybe not a good idea then.’ Loki said as he rubbed the back of his head.

They spent the morning at Claire and Louise’s parents place before heading back on the road to go to the pods they were staying at for a few nights.

The girls were always sad saying bye to their parents, but they were looking forward to getting to the pods too. So they were a bit hyper in the car.

‘Maybe we should have split them up again.’ Loki muttered to Chris as he drove.

Claire stuck her tongue out at him, which he caught in the mirror and glared at her.

‘Seriously, are you sure you’re an adult? I’m starting to think you’re a five-year-old in disguise.’ Loki commented with a smirk.

Claire rolled her eyes in response.

It took a few hours to get to the holiday pods. It was in a beautiful secluded spot in the countryside, in the middle of nowhere. There was a large lake with a small patch of trees at the other side, the pods looked out onto the lake. There was no other house around for miles, so it was nice and peaceful.

‘This looks amazing!’ Louise squealed excitedly as she ran towards one of the pods.

‘I guess that’s our pod then.’ Chris chuckled and looked at Loki.

‘Fine with me. Let’s get settled and re-group in a few hours? Decide then what we’re going to do for dinner.’ Loki suggested.

‘Good plan.’ Chris nodded in agreement and grabbed his and Louise’s suitcase from the car, then followed her to the pod while Loki and Claire went to their one.

Louise found the key box already and had the doors opened by the time Chris came behind with the luggage.

‘Wow, it’s smaller than I thought.’ He laughed as he stepped inside, instantly making the place seem even smaller.

It was tiny. There was a small table with a little comfy looking sofa, a wood burning stove in the corner. At the other side of the pod was a small kitchen area with basic things, then there was a pull-out breakfast bar and a TV mounted on the wall above it.

There was two bedrooms at the end of the pod, the biggest one was just big enough for a double bed and two side tables at either side. There was a large mirror on the wall at the end of the bed. There was just enough room to walk around the bed. The other bedroom had a bunk bed, so they decided that would be where they kept their luggage.

It had a bathroom of course, which had a shower. It wasn’t like they would need a bath for relaxing in when they had a hot tub outside on the decking, as well as a picnic bench and a barbecue.

‘It is, but I love it. It’s all we need for a few days really.’ Louise said with a smile.

‘True. Means you won’t be able to run or hide from me.’ Chris growled and winked at her.

‘Damn, that’s a good point… Maybe me and Claire should share one and you and Loki the other. Just to keep me safe from any vampire attacks.’ Louise teased.

‘Don’t lie. You love my vampire attacks!’ Chris growled and launched for her, making her squeal as she tried to run but there was nowhere to go. So she was swiftly captured in the vampires’ arms.

He laughed wickedly as he nipped at her neck, his hands slid up under her top and he tickled her lightly, making her squirm more and laugh.

‘Mmm, you know… we’ve got a few hours before we’re re-grouping with our siblings… and that mirror in the bedroom is giving me some ideas.’ Chris hummed against her skin.

‘Couldn’t wait to get here so you’d have me all to yourself again, huh?’ Louise grinned at him and felt his excitement pressing against her stomach.

‘Of course I couldn’t.’ He chuckled and scooped her up in his arms, making her squeak.

He carried her into the bedroom, but had to be careful manoeuvring her in, so he wouldn’t hit her head off the door or wall.

‘Right, this is going to take a little skill.’ He placed her down on her feet at the end of the bed and began removing her clothes.

‘God, you take my breath away. You’re stunning, pumpkin.’ Chris groaned, trying to keep himself in check once he had her naked on front of him.

She blushed at his words as he lightly trailed his fingers up her side, brushing against the side of her breast. He pulled his t-shirt off and tossed it to the floor, she took that opportunity to start unbuckling his belt.

While she did that, he was back to fondling her and commenting on her body again. Making her face feel like it was on fire.

‘Stoooop.’ She laughed shyly and pressed her face into his chest for a moment.

Chris cupped her chin and brushed his thumb over her lips. ‘Stop telling the truth?’ He asked with a coy smile.

She put her hands over her face, she still couldn’t really take compliments well without wanting to hide. Even from Chris. Though he did make her feel beautiful, all the time.

Louise tried to distract him, she started tugging his jeans down, he helped and slipped them right down and off, then pulled her onto the bed before she could do anything else.

He grabbed hold of her and sat in the middle of the bed, placing her in his lap on front of him, facing the mirror. He used his feet to wrap around hers and pull her legs apart.

‘Put your arms up behind my neck, pumpkin.’ He whispered and trailed his fingers lightly up her thighs, making her shiver.

He noticed she was trying not to look in the mirror that was right on front of them while she put her hands behind his neck, pushing her breasts out.

‘Look in the mirror, pumpkin. I want you to see what I see.’ Chris growled deep as he nuzzled into her hair and started fondling her breasts.

She whined and briefly glanced at the mirror, then turned her head to the side. Chris slid his dominant hand up to her neck, he wrapped his hand around and forced her to look.

Her eyes widened and she did feel her heart skip a beat upon seeing Chris behind her, holding her in the way he was. She knew his hand was big but it looked even bigger seeing it around her throat like that.

Heck, she realised that Chris really was huge, in comparison to her anyway. Though she wasn’t tiny, really, but she wasn’t super tall either. Chris being a vampire, he was just really large in all aspects. Seeing them together like this, made her realise how much though. The thought that he could probably just crush her like a bug crossed her mind, yet she found that more arousing than she probably should.

Chris brushed his thumb up and down the side of her throat as he looked at her intensely in the mirror. His other hand squeezed her breasts before venturing south between her legs, where he dragged his nails against her skin on her inner thighs, teasing her.

‘You’re going to watch yourself come undone, love. I want you to see the beauty that I see.’

‘Nooooo. You’re really making me do this?’ Louise whined loudly.

Chris chuckled and put his hand over her cunt, just resting there, laying claim as he sucked on her shoulder a little then squeezed her neck. ‘I most certainly am.’

He felt her grip around the back of his neck tighten when he started to play with her, already finding her wet… Which he could smell anyway, but he loved feeling it too. He started slowly stroking her clit, and had to squeeze her neck a few times as a reminder to look in the mirror.

She tried just looking at his face above her, but his eye contact was intense, she found herself blushing so hard and having to look away now and then, making him smirk. He knew exactly what he was doing.

So she ended up focusing on his hands, not just the one wrapped firmly around her neck that was almost enough to make her cum alone, but the one that was down between her legs. Making her body tingle all over as she began to squirm.

‘Look at the way your body flushes so nicely for me, the way your chest starts to heave as you get closer.’ He whispered low, his finger circling her clit firmly and slowly, building her up nicely.

Louise did see what he meant when she looked at herself, though she found she was beginning to struggle to focus when he slipped two fingers into her, curling them in just the right way.

She could feel Chris’ arousal hard against her lower back, she knew that it was her making him like that… Though she still couldn’t quite understand why, exactly. She felt like she was average, if anything. Nothing special really. Sure, she had all the womanly parts needed to make a man feel good. Chris worshipped the ground she walked on and made her feel like a queen. Though she just couldn’t see why, really.

‘Babe… please… I can’t… need more…’ Louise whimpered as she fought to keep her eyes open and on the mirror.

Chris knew how difficult this was for her, how she struggled to accept her beauty. Though he still had another trick up his sleeve. While she was close to coming, he stopped abruptly. Making her eyes fly wide open as she whined in disappointment.

Chris laughed and kissed her shoulder. He then re-positioned her. ‘Keep your hands behind my neck, sweetheart… but straddle over me. I need to get inside you.’ He groaned, his voice strained.

He gripped her hips and helped her to sit up and get her legs at either side of his thighs, then he pulled her down onto him.

Instead of being prompted to, she looked in the mirror willingly to see her body slowly sinking down on his cock. The way her body opened up around him, taking him in, her heart began racing so much she thought it was going to explode out of her chest.

Chris controlled her movements, easing her down very slowly until he was fully inside her. Then he held her there in place, just letting them be together. He could feel her body fluttering around him so wonderfully.

‘Fuuuuuck!’ She cried out.

‘That’s it. Good girl. See how beautiful you are? Fuck… look at the way your body can take my big cock. You’re so perfect.’ He praised and kissed up the side of her neck, her eyes fluttered in pleasure.

She dug her nails into the back of Chris’ neck in desperation, spurring him on. He thrust up into her, making her catch her breath. He lifted her up and started bouncing her up and down on his cock, not needing to do overly much though as she began moving too.

With one hand remaining on her hip to help control her movements, he slid his other hand down her body again to torment her clit at the same time. It didn’t take long at all for her to reach the end. She closed her eyes as she began to cum, but Chris swiftly reached up to grip her neck, her eyes flew open to look in the mirror.

‘Ah, ah. You need to see yourself as you cum, pumpkin. It’s the most wonderful sight.’ He groaned as he was struggling to keep himself composed.

Louise was able to force herself to keep looking at them both in the mirror. She focused mainly on Chris, and how tiny she looked with him. Though then she started to take the scene of them both as a couple… That perhaps, they were one damn hot couple, actually.

Chris came too, straight after she finished clenching around him. She nearly passed out seeing his cum dribbling out of her, seeing themselves in the mirror while fucking was actually a lot hotter than she thought it would be. Seeing things she wouldn’t normally see…

Ten minutes later, they lay together in bed… the right way up in bed. They were snuggling close, stroking one another’s bodies lightly.

‘Now, pumpkin. Tell me, what have you learned?’ Chris asked, his tone lazy and low.

She pondered for a moment, then spoke up. ‘That I’m fucking tiny and you’re huge!’

Chris couldn’t help but burst out laughing, making her giggle too. He grabbed her and growled, rolling them slightly till she was under him so he could lean over her.

‘Well, that is true. Yes. You’re my tiny little pumpkin.’ He grinned and nuzzled her nose with his. ‘Though what else have you learned?’

She went silent again, but this time thought properly.

‘I… I still don’t really see what you see in me… but, I do think we look pretty hot together. You bring out the beauty in me.’ She smiled and slid her fingers through his hair.

Chris smiled softly and kissed her on the lips.

‘Not exactly what I had been aiming for… but definitely a step in the right direction. And you’re damn right, we are a hot couple.’ He grinned.

He was pleased that she was starting to see differently. Though he just wished that she would see the beauty in herself that he sees.

[resiliencewithin]

Will I ever be able to convince my brain that I’ve done enough? That I’ve done what I reasonably could?

Probably not. Not fully. Never fully.

Nothing can be done perfectly—not self-belief, self-trust, or calming anxiety.

But I can do is this—

I am okay. I have done enough. If I haven’t, I am capable of finishing the rest another day. I do believe in and trust myself. I’ve earned it. The proof is in all of the times before where I have succeeded. And there have been many.

[cupcakegalaxia]

People want all the benefits of Christianity without all the repenting of sin, putting it to death and trusting in Christ part.

[river-taxbird]

AI hasn't improved in 18 months. It's likely that this is it. There is currently no evidence the capabilities of ChatGPT will ever improve. It's time for AI companies to put up or shut up.

I'm just re-iterating this excellent post from Ed Zitron, but it's not left my head since I read it and I want to share it. I'm also taking some talking points from Ed's other posts. So basically:

We keep hearing AI is going to get better and better, but these promises seem to be coming from a mix of companies engaging in wild speculation and lying.

Chatgpt, the industry leading large language model, has not materially improved in 18 months. For something that claims to be getting exponentially better, it sure is the same shit.

Hallucinations appear to be an inherent aspect of the technology. Since it's based on statistics and ai doesn't know anything, it can never know what is true. How could I possibly trust it to get any real work done if I can't rely on it's output? If I have to fact check everything it says I might as well do the work myself.

For "real" ai that does know what is true to exist, it would require us to discover new concepts in psychology, math, and computing, which open ai is not working on, and seemingly no other ai companies are either.

Open ai has already seemingly slurped up all the data from the open web already. Chatgpt 5 would take 5x more training data than chatgpt 4 to train. Where is this data coming from, exactly?

Since improvement appears to have ground to a halt, what if this is it? What if Chatgpt 4 is as good as LLMs can ever be? What use is it?

As Jim Covello, a leading semiconductor analyst at Goldman Sachs said (on page 10, and that's big finance so you know they only care about money): if tech companies are spending a trillion dollars to build up the infrastructure to support ai, what trillion dollar problem is it meant to solve? AI companies have a unique talent for burning venture capital and it's unclear if Open AI will be able to survive more than a few years unless everyone suddenly adopts it all at once. (Hey, didn't crypto and the metaverse also require spontaneous mass adoption to make sense?)

There is no problem that current ai is a solution to. Consumer tech is basically solved, normal people don't need more tech than a laptop and a smartphone. Big tech have run out of innovations, and they are desperately looking for the next thing to sell. It happened with the metaverse and it's happening again.

In summary:

Ai hasn't materially improved since the launch of Chatgpt4, which wasn't that big of an upgrade to 3.

There is currently no technological roadmap for ai to become better than it is. (As Jim Covello said on the Goldman Sachs report, the evolution of smartphones was openly planned years ahead of time.) The current problems are inherent to the current technology and nobody has indicated there is any way to solve them in the pipeline. We have likely reached the limits of what LLMs can do, and they still can't do much.

Don't believe AI companies when they say things are going to improve from where they are now before they provide evidence. It's time for the AI shills to put up, or shut up.

[shoresalt]

long post about school

i cant help but take academic advice and suggestions and marks so personally as if they reflect who i am morally and my personality. even the simplest mistake of formatting a citation incorrectly ((when citations weren't even necessary i just wanted to provide a source... ) makes me think i am unfixable. and then i see 80s on my report cards and freak out inside. but if anyone else told me they got that mark i would be happy for them. i dont view even lower marks as a representation of my friends? so why do i assume others are having those thoughts about me? is it because i dont know my teachers very personally? and they're more prone to making assumptions about me? (are they even, really??) i feel offended when i see that i'm not at the top of my class. because it makes me look lazy compared to past grades, even if my teachers and classmates didn't even know me then. i'm afraid they'll see me failing and be mad or rude or think i'm no good. grades never affect the way i perceive others. why isnt it the same when i flip it to myself???

i need to find a way to understand that that advice will result in me learning! it does! i have demonstrated this! i can learn from my mistakes!!! i already understand it, logically, but it still pains me anyways. maybe its the permanence of grades. the way they dont change even when i learn something correctly or fix a mistake.

[fastandcarlos]

Just A Ski “Inchident” : ̗̀➛ Charles LeClerc

summary: a chaotic trip to the ski slopes was never going to end seamlessly, was it?? ⛷️

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by carlossainz55, carmenmmundt and 482,827 others

ynusername: what could possibly go wrong here? ⛷️

31,048 comments

username1: why do I feel like this is gonna end so badly?

charles_leclerc: I’ll be right there to make sure that you’re safe sweetheart 💕

ynusername: @/charles_leclerc you’ll be off and forgetting about me in no time

arthur_leclerc: @/charles_leclerc @/ynusername and if he doesn’t keep you safe I’ll be there to push him down the mountain 😂

username2: omg hope you guys have the best trip ever 🤩

landonorris: I’m betting £20 you come back with a broken bone!

ynusername: @/landonorris pls don’t jinx me like this 😭

username3: pls just stay safe both of you we don’t need any injuries 🤞🏻

carlossainz55: you’re so brave trusting charles to take you skiing!!

username4: I don’t have a good feeling about this 😂

maxverstappen1: next time we’ll have to go on a couples holiday down to the slopes!

ynusername: @/maxverstappen1 I don’t think I’ll be at your level of skiing for quite some time 😂

username5: everyone on that slope better watch out with you two about!!

iamrebeccad: I promise you’ll love it, skiing is the best thing ever once you get the hang of it 🫶🏻

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by landonorris, pierregasly and 2,048,462 others

charles_leclerc: back on the slopes doing one of my favourite things in the world 🏔️

204,473 comments

username6: there’s something about charles in ski gear that really speaks to me 🔥

georgerussell63: enjoy your trip, nothing quite like the adrenaline of flying down the slopes ⛷️

username7: is there anything that this man can’t do??

danielricciardo: I’ll laugh now if you come back more broken than yn does

charles_leclerc: @/danielricciardo that’s impossible, you just wait until you see poor yn ski 🥹

username8: poor yn is probably cursing charles out so bad rn!

maxverstappen1: still slightly offended I didn’t get an invite ngl…😂

username9: he looks like he’s in his element ngl

carlossainz55: please come back in piece to try and finish off the end of the season 🙏🏻

charles_leclerc: @/carlossainz55 it’s not me you need to worry about…

username10: I bet he’s one of those show offs that makes it look so much easier than it actually is 🙃

ynusername: I’m still sat here wondering how you ever convinced me to do this 😂

charles_leclerc: @/ynusername by the end of this trip you’ll love skiing, trust me 💞

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 573,049 others

ynusername: this weird guy kept following me up the slopes, apparently he says he’s some sort of expert but I’m yet to be convinced 😂🚠

48,201 comments

username11: ngl I wouldn’t mind that view staring at me on a ski lift 🫠

iamrebeccad: you look like you’re doing so well, told you you’d get the hang of it 🤩

username12: he’s an annoying expert at everything he does 😂

pierregasly: don’t believe him yn, trust me, I’ve been skiing with him before!!

username13: I love the relationship that these two have omg

landonorris: you’re so right, he’s a giant weirdo 😂😂

username14: what I would give to be in yn’s shoes rn rather than staring at these photos kicking my heels in bed

username15: at least charles looks like he’s taking care of yn so far 😂

arthur_leclerc: the going up is fine, it’s the going down you’ve got to worry about⛷️

ynusername: @/arthur_leclerc don’t say that 😭

username16: best of all you’re still standing, that’s the main thing!

danielricciardo: how much are you regretting saying yes to this trip out of 10??

ynusername: @/danielricciardo 10/10 what have I signed myself up for!? 💯

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by iamrebeccad, arthur_leclerc and 472,927 others

ynusername: it turns out quite a lot can actually go wrong when skiing 😭

61,048 comments

username17: oh yn only you could end up doing something like this 😂

georgerussell63: I’m trying so hard not to love but honestly how do you manage to always end up like this!

ynusername: @/georgerussell63 I told you all I wasn’t built for skiing

username18: sending you so much love and hope the injury isn’t too bad 🤞🏻

charles_leclerc: at least you got to go back and enjoy the hot tub 😉

ynusername: @/charles_leclerc I almost got some peace and quiet until you appeared 😂

username19: please make sure you get plenty of rest and take care of yourself!

maxverstappen1: I don’t even think I want to ask how you managed to do this 🤦🏻‍♂️

username20: I blame charles for this, even if he wasn’t even there!

carmenmmundt: wish I was there to give you the biggest cuddle rn 🫂

alex_albon: and this is why I refuse to take lily skiing every year when she asks!!

username21: oh yn, I’ve never met anyone so clumsy in my life 😬

landonorris: is it broken?? do I get my £20??

ynusername: @/landonorris none of your business 😂😂😂

charles_leclerc: @/landonorris nothing broken so no one is coughing up just yet!

username22: I can just picture charles laughing his head off at this too

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 2,028,574 others

charles_leclerc: just to let you all know yn is back in the cabin and resting well, when I offered to stay and take care of her she told me to go away and that I’d done enough damage 😂😂

197,473 comments

username23: glad to hear yn is on the mend and getting plenty of rest 🥺

iamrebeccad: yes @/ynusername put him in his place 😂💪🏻

username24: bless her, hopefully the injury isn’t anything too nasty

arthur_leclerc: she’s only resting because you’ve finally stopped laughing at her 😂

oscarpiastri: why you’d pick to ski anyway when there’s all that sunshine is crazy to me!?

ynusername: you did enough damage suggesting we go skiing in the first place 🤦🏻‍♀️

charles_leclerc: @/ynusername how was I supposed to know you’d be this bad at it??

ynusername: @/charles_leclerc it’s like you forget how clumsy I am 🙃

username25: looking at that cabin I’d want to be left alone to enjoy it too!!

carlossainz55: yn saying what so many of us have wanted to say for so long 🙌🏻

charles_leclerc: @/carlossainz55 have you forgotten were teammates?? you’re supposed to be on my side!

username26: she’s probably just embarrassed charles to be hurt 😭

danielricciardo: I think I’d much rather be where yn is, it looks so warm and cosy 😍

username27: you two can’t go anywhere without causing chaos 😂😂

maxverstappen1: at least now you can go and show off without having to worry about yn

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 582,713 others

ynusername: charles fell on his ass so hard today and I can’t begin to tell you how hard I laughed 🤣🎿

52,958 comments

username28: revenge is the sweetest dish ever!!!

lilymhe: you guys are adorable 🥹

charles_leclerc: I’ll give you that one, I probably deserved it 🤣

ynusername: @/charles_leclerc the best bit is I got in on camera to hold against you forever 🙌🏻

maxverstappen1: @/ynusername I’ll pay you a thousand pounds to send me that video!!!

username29: go on yn! get him back for laughing at you!

carlossainz55: I hope you got right up in his face and laughed too 😂

username30: I swear he’s just as clumsy as you are sometimes 😂😂

iamrebeccad: glad to see you finally smiling again girlie 💕

username31: I can’t get over how messy this whole trip has been for you both 🤦🏻‍♀️

danielricciardo: it’s gonna be a miracle if you both make it home in one piece at this rate…

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by arthur_leclerc, ynusername and 2,958,473 others

charles_leclerc: the trip of a lifetime, even if the two of us are returning much more battered and bruised than we were when we arrived 🎿💕

278,500 comments

username32: please hurry up and get home where we know you’ll be safe from injury again 😂

ynusername: definitely a trio of a lifetime and never again!!

charles_leclerc: @/ynusername let’s stick to the beach next year 💞

username33: promise us you’ll never go skiing with yn again charles!!

alex_albon: why you’d decide to throw yourself down on a mountain on skis is beyond me 🙄

username34: I dread to think how broken your bodies are rn…

maxverstappen1: maybe we’ll rethink that couples holiday after all 😂

username35: you guys are definitely built for the sunshine ☀️

danielricciardo: I can’t see yn agreeing to one of your ideas for a while after this

username36: I’m just impressed you’re both still standing at the end of it 😂

landonorris: can’t believe I didn’t win my bet, I’m impressed there aren’t any broken bones!

charles_leclerc: @/landonorris no one is more impressed than me 😂

username37: yn really was brave for ever agreeing to this!!

iamrebeccad: can’t wait to have you guys back home and where you belong 🥺

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

[the-second-hand-unwinds]

1x04: "just kind of an asshole and a bad friend" - this scene, though!!

I don't see this scene discussed all that much, but for me it's a massive turning point, not just in the Lokius friendship but for Loki's own growth as a person who doesn't want to let down the people he respects and cares about. Mobius completely blows Loki's mind here and cuts him down with a graceful, yet blunt skill. He can almost read Loki's mind; no one has ever understood Loki like this before. But more importantly, why Mobius' reply here means so much:

He's not raising his voice. He's not giving Loki the angry and hurtful response that Loki expects and wants right now. That's because if Mobius hurts Loki back, if he retaliates in kind, it will distract Loki from the fact that he was a dick to the first real friend he ever had. It will make it much easier for Loki to lie to himself and excuse his actions, while avoiding any guilty feelings. Mobius is not going to give him that.

Mobius also refuses to play along with Loki's bratty drama, instead speaking to him in an honest way, showing that yeah, Loki did let him down and hurt his feelings. And that Mobius is angry, sure. But it's not a moment for petty, fake drama such as Loki tries to ignite.

Instead, it's his friend saying "I trusted you and put myself on the line for you and you betrayed me. You don't get to make this about anything else." (more below the break)

Owen Wilson's delivery on these lines could not have been more flawless. We get all of Mobius' feelings; he's just a regular guy at the end of the day, and his genuineness, his integrity is not what Loki is used to dealing with. He's knocked the ground out from under Loki, this simply, this easily.

Emotional stakes instead of shallow, selfish ones. Loki is thrown into real shock by this turn of events. This is not how he's used to being dealt with when he's been "bad." The child in Loki never matured past these tantrums, for reasons we can easily guess.

Instead of being enraged or saying a bunch of mean stuff back at him, Mobius calls it like it is, then moves on, as if Loki no longer deserves his attention. That is going to drive Loki so crazy.

Plus, Mobius gets Loki so completely that he already knows how his statement is going to hit him. That's why, when Loki's surprised expression appears, Mobius is expecting it and says, "Yeah, chew on that for a little bit."

In other words, "How do you like being treated like a person who is expected to be decent and considerate, as opposed to being treated like a threat or problem to be destroyed?"

I think the latter was damaging to Loki at first, but then, over time, so much easier for Loki to cope with. Enemies were playing into his hands by repeating back the same insults he's gotten used to, has toughened up to.

Nobody has believed in him and expected - not just demanded - but expected better from Loki, until Mobius.

Knowing that he almost immediately tarnished such a friendship hits completely different and Loki is thrown by it.

Mobius sees Loki 100% for who he is and knows how to get under his skin when necessary, knows how to get past Loki's bravado in a way no one else has done.

But part of that skill is because Mobius really still can't help loving Loki to bits, and as hurt as he is here, he has not completely given up on Loki. It's Mobius' genuine, heartfelt responses to Loki that allow him the empathy to give as good as he gets, but more than that, to care enough, specifically, to try and help Loki learn to be better.

I just love them so much-- 😭💓💞

[gay-dorito-dust]

Can you do angst of ford x reader, where reader was Fords assistant and instead of Stanley pushing ford in, reader does while being possessed by bill.

Stanley is still there and they work hard to repair the portal but when Ford does get back he's really upset at reader because he still thinks that they themselves pushed him in and betrayed him. Ford won't let reader explain themselves, he just tells them to "get out his house"

Part 2 is right here

You didn’t want this.

Then again you weren’t the one to push him, Bill was after tricking you into making a deal with him. You should’ve known better than to put any amount of trust in that chaotic dream demon.

You screamed and shouted for either Ford or Stanley to notice the weirdness in your behaviour, the weirdly inhuman smile that spread across your face, anything as you were forced to watch yourself shove Ford into the portal.

‘BILL!’ You screamed but the demon possessing you acted as though he couldn’t hear you as he relinquished control of your body and let you back in it, just so that the last thing you saw of your dear friend was the look of betrayal upon his face as he disappeared into the portal forever.

‘FORD! No! IM SORRY! IM SO SORRY! IT WASNT ME!’ But Ford couldn’t hear you. He was gone thanks to bill you and you knew they no one would ever believe if you were to tell anyone that a demon did the deed. All they saw was what looked like you but not you in any other aspect that counted; However the fact that you were seen doing the crime was enough to fuel their biases against you regardless, fuelled but their needed to be right in everything, and it was difficult to change a persons mind once it’s made up.

‘It wasn’t me…’ you softly murmured to yourself as you collapsed on the floor of the laboratory as a seething Stanley stood behind you.

‘You pushed my brother.’ He snarled. ‘I saw you.’

You only stayed silent, it was better the beer the brunt of the blame then look like a madman trying to plead as to why they wasn’t true, and besides he wouldn’t believe you even if you did manage to make Bill confess before an audience that he had been the one to push Ford while possessed as you. The demonic bastard was far gone now, cackling at the ridicule you were receiving for his actions.

Stanley, not liking that you were silent, pulled you to face him by the collar of your shirt but before he could berate you further, he caught sight of your defeated face and tear stricken cheeks. ‘Go on, blame me because you would be believe me if I were to tell the truth.’ You said with a voice void of emotion. ‘Blame me all you want but I’m the only person who can help you get the portal up and running again. I’m willing to do so but not for you, but for Ford and in hopes of explaining myself to him and pray that he believes me.’ You add and without warning Stanley drops you on your arse and says in a voice equally devoid of emotion;

‘He’ll never believe you, he’s not that stupid.’

And after that interaction you and Stanley spent the next thirty years of your lives together rebuilding the portal, while Stan still blamed you for pushing his brother into the portal, he’s become more lenient as and when he would remind you of the reason you were doing this in the first place; more specifically during arguments after failed test runs of getting the portal open where he’d say to you in the best of the moment:

‘If it wasn’t for you my brother would still be here!’ Before storming upstairs while you remained in the lab, wasting away the midnight oil because you didn’t believe you deserved sleep after all that. You had grown numb to being Stan’s verbal punching bag, and would often times ignore his attempts to forget what happened and make peace with you, for you knew it wasn’t genuine because after you get his brother back you were more then likely to be kicked out of the shack for you had served your purpose for your crime.

So the relationship between yourself and Stan was never good and you tended to only act civil in the presence of Dipper and Mabel, two kids whom you have grown rather fond of during their stay. You remembered the first night they came here and were in high debate on whether they should stay with Stan or leave, you were quick to intervene and said;

‘Your Grunkle Stan is a wonderful man with a big heart despite his rough exterior. So please give him a chance instead of letting first impressions sway your thinking, you’ll be surprised as a result if you do and besides life is meant to be lived without regrets.’

You were literally the reason they decided to give Stan a chance and stay, but you knew you were never going to get that thank you from him, you were the person who pushed his brother into the portal remember? So you just carried on building the portal with him in awkward silence until the day finally came.

The day that Ford came home.

The day should’ve made you happy, ecstatic even but you knew that wouldn’t be the case for you as the moment Ford came out of the portal your blood ran cold.

He was glaring.

He was glaring at you with such a silent rage that you swore that you could’ve been killed by a state like that. But it was also a stare that told you of the damage your betrayal had caused him, he would never forgive you and that was your biggest fear this entire time, a fear that Stan knew and now it was proven true.

‘Ford-‘

‘Stop.’ He told you, breaking your heart. ‘I don’t want to hear your excuse.’

‘But-‘ you tried again.

‘I said no!’ Ford roared as everyone held their breath, even Stanley who had never heard his brother shout, in that moment he actually felt some remorse for you, some.

‘You’re the reason I was trapped in that portal for THRITY YEARS!’ Dipper and Mabel gasped as they too were now looking at you with hurt in their eyes, which made tears appear in the corner of your own.

‘Is it true Grunkle/graunt y/n?’ Mabel asked as dipper glared at you while keeping his sister as far away from you as he could.

‘No Mabel I-‘ you tried to take a step towards her but Ford was quick to cut you off and level you with a glare. ‘Stay away from my grand niece and nephew.’ He growled and you knew there was no point looking back at Stanley, who had kept uncharacteristically quite this entire time.

‘It’s wasn’t me-‘

‘Then who was it who pushed me then y/n?’ Ford asked.

You remained as silent as the day you let Stanley accused you of the same thing. There was no point in making your case when everyone’s minds have been made up, you were the monster in their story and now they were going to be rid of you once and for all.

‘Who?’ Ford asked again as he seethed, his eyes searching your dead ones for answers that have been in his mind for the past thirty years. You were his friend, he thought he could trust you but he guessed wrong, and now he couldn’t look you in the eyes without seeing the very person who shoved him in the portal with a sicken smile across their face.

Ford couldn’t trust you in the presence of Dipper and Mabel, no one was safe with you as far as he was concerned and he wanted to keep his family safe, even if it meant being rid of you once and for all.

When you didn’t say anything to save yourself, Ford points upwards. ‘Get out of my house, I don’t want to see you ever again. You’ve already done enough damage to this family as there is.’

You didn’t have the energy nor fight left in you to scream, shout or anything, you just swallowed the lump in your throat and moved out of the lab as Mabel and Stanley looked at you sympathetically; whereas Ford and dipper only glared at your retreating back.

‘Grunkle/ graunt y/n?’ Mabel called out to you weakly. You only shot her a small smile and mouthed ‘I’m sorry.’ She was always your favourite twin but it was time to say good bye and without another word, you pulled off the bracelet that Mable had made for you and threw it on the floor in front of her.

Mabel looked at the bracelet, then back up at you. ‘I made this for you.’ She tells you with tears in her eyes.

‘You deserve better than to put your trust in me my sweet shooting star, I’m a monster in your grunkles eyes,’ you shot a look towards Stan and Ford who were still staring before looking back at Mable, ‘It’s best that you start seeing me that way too because I only cause pain apparently to some.’ You replied and with that you left the shack and the pines family behind, venturing off into the pathway through the woods with nothing but a hole where you here should’ve been.

There was no point fighting your case to Ford, he wasn’t going to hear it, for he was no batter than everyone else and he just pointed the finger at you without second thought. So much for him being unique when he was just like the rest of them, so much like the rest of them that you find it almost laughable.

You’ll gladly stay out of his life, for whatever Stanford pines wished for, you’ll happily oblige as you were only ever the assistant that betrayed him in the end; a traitor.

[creekfiend]

I have been having a really weird experience this summer, which is that I fell in love for the first time. I'm 36, and if you'd asked me if I had ever been in love previously, I would have said "I don't know, maybe? I used to think so but now I'm not sure? What's it mean to be in love?? how would I know if I had or not???" I thought that because I had not experienced it myself, the people who were always saying "oh no, trust me, You Would Know" were all lying or otherwise mistaken. I DID NOT BELIEVE THEM. I was fully like "this is some sort of mass delusion, there's no way that's a thing"

Now that I know that this is something that Exists even if it doesn't always Look Like They Tell You, there's SO many things that make sense to me!!! Whenever I encountered Romance Stuff before, I had no desire to do any of it AND could not comprehend why anyone else would ever want to either. It was this really large experiential disconnect for me. Whether or not I want to do any of those things, I now understand why other people would, if they Were In Love. LIKE I GET IT NOW. IT MAKES SENSE TO ME. I still can't relate to things like people in movies falling in love instantly, but now it's like "oh right, that's a potential state of being that exists," rather than "pretty fucked up that hollywood made Being In Love up to sell more flowers or whatever."

I feel like I'm constantly 24/7 running a software update on my brain that's been overdue to be installed for years or perhaps decades. It's just like "OK YUP UPDATING ALL THESE PROGRAMS AND FOLDERS. THIS WILL TAKE SOME TIME AND DATA BYTES OR WHATEVER, BUCKLE UP!" Pretty sure there's actually one of those little rainbow spinning icons above my head the whole time I'm conscious, like I am some sort of very confused Sim.

This happened to me REALLY SLOWLY, too, so it was like a big blockage in a river, and more and more stuff was just piling up against it, and then the dam broke, and now I'm sitting in the shallows of a giant basin lake under a massive waterfall wringing my hat out and going "woah. they got never before seen types of fish in here"

Who else knew about this??? Unfortunately the answer is: a majority of human beings over a certain age DID in fact know about this, it's just that every time anyone said "this is a way people feel about each other sometimes," I said "hmm. sounds fake." In-cred-i-ble.

Turns out that being in love is just an experience that people can have!! It's just a thing that happens sometimes! Some people have had it happen to them a bunch and some people not at all. It's just A Thing That Can Happen To You. Wtf. WHAT WILL I DISCOVER NEXT????? IT COULD BE ANYTHING !!! WHAT WOULD BE THE FUNNIEST POSSIBLE NEXT THING FOR ME TO REALIZE EXISTS? ONLY TIME WILL TELL. (Can you fucking imagine having this happen to you when you are in your seventies or eighties rather than your mid thirties ????? THAT WOULD BE THE WORLD'S MOST DISORIENTING EXPERIENCE.) (I also thought that "having chemistry" was fake.) (Do not diagnose me, I PROMISE I already know)

[em-ontv]

—Real sweet, but I wish you were sober.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x hunter!fem!reader

Summary: One too many drinks led him to confess his feelings for you. You loved him, but you knew it was just words that he didn't mean, right?

Content: angst, unrequited love, drunk confession, alcohol/Dean getting drunk, English is not my first language, sorry if there are mistakes

Word count: 722

You helped Dean back to the motel room, his arm heavy around your shoulders as he stumbled, his steps uncertain. His head lolled to the side, eyes half-closed, but he muttered something about being "fine," even when he felt like a deadweight against you.

His breath was warm against your neck, laced with whiskey. For all the times you had watched him take down monsters without breaking a sweat, he seemed so vulnerable now, trusting you to get him safely to the bed.

You lowered him onto the bed, his hand catching yours, holding it a moment longer than necessary before he let go. His eyes found yours, softer than you had ever seen. You told yourself that it was just the alcohol that had him looking at you like that, like he saw something more than just a hunting partner.

"Y'know..." Dean mumbled, his words slurred and quiet, as if he was speaking to himself. "Sometimes... sometimes I think about things, you know?"

You sat beside him, keeping a slight distance, even though it nearly killed you to. "Yeah?"

His gaze settled on you, and even in his state, it felt almost too intense. "I think about how much easier this would be... if I had someone," he muttered, as though this was something he'd been carrying around for a long time. "Like... someone who's already here."

You kept your silence, hoping that he'd just drop it and let it be, but his brows furrowed, his drunken gaze coming to a startling clarity.

"You… you love me, don't you?" he asked, voice soft and a little unsteady.

Your throat tightened, and you forced yourself to look away, to hide behind a wall of sarcasm like you always did. "You're drunk, Dean. Get some sleep."

But he wouldn't let it go. He reached for your hand again, pulling you closer, his grip unexpectedly strong.

"No," he insisted, voice thick but more sure. "No, I know I'm drunk, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong. I've… I've known it, but I didn't want to see it, didn't want to let myself…" He trailed off. He moved until his face was just inches away from yours, his voice breaking gently. "But I love you too."

You looked away, holding your breath as the words sank in, leaving a raw ache in your chest. You wanted to believe him, wanted so badly for it to be real—you'd imagined this moment so many times, but now that it was here, it felt hollow. Because you knew it was just the whiskey talking.

"Dean," you whispered, pulling your hand back slowly. "You're not gonna remember this tomorrow. Let's just… let's just pretend it didn't happen, okay?"

But he shook his head, his hand went to caress the side of your face, his thumb brushing your cheek in a way that made your heart ache. "No— no, I'm not pretending," his voice was hoarse, his words barely audible, but each one hit harder than the last.

"I mean it. And I'm sorry I couldn't say it sooner." He pulled your hand close to his chest, his eyes glistening with tears as they met yours, a small, tired smile playing on his lips. "But I do..."

"I love you."

The words fell softly from him, the look in his eyes told you that he was genuine, that he meant it, yet clouded by the whiskey swirling through him. And that was what stung the most. You wanted to tell him that you loved him back, for so, so long, that you wanted to hold him and never let go, but you knew he won't remember any of this in the morning.

"Okay... I know. I know you love me." your breath was shaky, cupping his face in your hands. His eyes looked into yours, and it was as if you were everything to him.

"Go to sleep now, okay? You'll feel better in the morning." you whispered, your voice so quiet it was almost breaking.

He gave you a soft smile, pressing a kiss to the palm of your hand before laying back down, resting his head on the pillow. His eyes slipped shut, and he fell asleep.

As you brushed a gentle hand over his hair, you whispered back.

"I love you too, Dean. More than you'll ever know."

[steddieas-shegoes]

a new bottom in town

for @steddieholidaydrabbles pop up event 'anniversary'

rated e | 902 words | cw: references to injury | tags: post-vecna, established relationship, top eddie munson, bottom steve harrington, anal sex

🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃

“Can we try something new?” Steve asks as they finish eating the cheesecake Eddie brought home to celebrate their anniversary.

Six months may not seem like a lot to some, but for Steve and Eddie, it was a major milestone and they wanted to treat it as such. The first four months they spent together was mostly at the hospital while Eddie learned how to walk and talk and eat again.

“Sure, baby. What is it?” Eddie sets his fork down and leans forward so he’s in Steve’s space.

“Um. Could you…could you fuck me?”

Eddie’s heart stops.

Listen, it’s not that he doesn’t want to. If anything, he’s fantasized about doing just that for years.

But he’s still gaining muscle mass back in his legs and abs, and he doesn’t have the stamina he had before the bats took it with their teeth.

“Like…put my…”

“Yeah. I’d really…I’d like you to be inside me.”

Eddie’s not sure if he’s dreaming, but this feels like something right out of his best fantasy. He’s just a little hesitant because, well, he doesn’t want to be a disappointment. Their sex life is great as it is, and changing it up now, especially before Eddie’s back to full health, may put everything to a screeching halt.

“It’s fine if you don’t want to.” Steve continues when Eddie doesn’t answer. “I’m good with fucking you if you prefer that.”

“No! No, Stevie. I want to. Trust me.” Eddie gives a self-deprecating laugh. “I’m just not sure I can?”

Steve seems to realize what he’s worried about quickly, nodding like he understands. But after a few seconds, he’s smiling.

“I could ride you?”

Eddie’s definitely dead and somehow he got into heaven or hell is a lot nicer than people led him to believe.

“You would wanna ride my dick? Like, while I do nothing?” Eddie asks for clarification.

“I mean, I’m sure you could do something. But yeah. I could do most of the work,” Steve shrugs like this is not life-changing to Eddie.

“You want me inside of you that bad?”

“Yeah. It’s kinda all I’ve been thinking about for a while,” Steve flushes as he scoots his fork along his empty plate.

“And you think this is a gift for you?”

“It’s a gift for both of us.”

“Then let’s get upstairs, sweetheart.”

Steve’s head snaps up, his eyes bright with desire and excitement. “Really?”

“It’s not exactly a big ask of me to lay in bed and let you ride my dick, baby.”

Steve is out of the room before Eddie’s even up from his chair. Eddie laughs as he follows him, much slower, but finally able to go without the cane around the house. He doesn’t really mind it, but it’s nice to feel more independent without it for something like this.

By the time he’s in their room, Steve’s naked and pouring lube onto his fingers.

“Damn. Okay. Are we in a rush?” Eddie leans against the doorway and crosses his arms.

“I was gonna prep myself so you could watch.”

“Steve. Baby. Love of my life.” Eddie walks to the bed and sits down, crossing his legs and leaning his face in his hands. “This is the best gift you’ve ever given me. Continue.”

Steve flushes from his chest to his forehead and Eddie can’t get enough. He resists further interrupting him, though.

He watches Steve lean back against the pillows at an angle, teasing his own hole while Eddie barely bites back a moan. He’s been hard since he walked in the room and saw Steve’s bare ass in the bed, but now he can feel the urgency of needing to lose his clothes and get inside Steve.

Steve’s efficient and Eddie is definitely asking him about how he’s so good at opening himself up later, and within minutes, Steve’s begging for Eddie to lay down.

Eddie gets undressed as quickly as possible and finds a comfortable position against the headboard.

Steve straddles him, lines up his cock, and slides down before Eddie can even process what’s happening.

They moan together, long and loud.

“Fuck, is this how you feel when I’m inside you?” Steve gasps as he lifts himself and drops back down.

“Full? Hot? Tingly?” Steve nods. “Then, yes. Shit, Stevie, you’re so tight. It doesn’t hurt?”

“No, feels so good.” Steve’s head falls back as he finds a slow rhythm, still cautious as he stretches himself further.

Eddie’s hands rest on his hips, not helping, just holding.

“Wanna do this every night,” Steve groans as his pace picks up. “Forever. Can we?”

“Baby, if I wake up and this wasn’t a dream, we can do it whenever you want.”

“Touch me.” Steve demands, always so bossy even when he’s getting everything he wants. Eddie touches him because he will always do what Steve asks of him. “Fuck, faster. Yeah, like that.”

When they come less than a minute later, Steve collapses against Eddie, head on his shoulder and arms a deadweight by his sides.

“You okay?” Eddie asks as he rubs his back with one hand.

“So good.” Steve kissed his shoulder. “I’m the bottom now.”

Eddie cackles. “We can take turns.”

“80/20?”

“Okay. Let me get my strength back so I can fuck you properly and we’ll see if you still want that.”

Steve pulls back and smirks. “Where’s your cane?”

[humansofnewyork]

“The person who hurt us, hurt both of us. But it affected us differently. I isolated myself. I started taking drugs when I was twelve, maybe thirteen. But she just moved on with her life. I could never understand: how can she be so happy, while I’m stuck in my head and constantly thinking about it? It was exhausting to me. She was exhausting to me, especially when we were teenagers. I couldn’t stand to be around her because she was so light and positive and funny. Everything was always so cool, and so good. It felt to me that she didn’t want to face it. She just wanted to accept that it happened, and move on. But I couldn’t move on. I didn’t have that choice. I couldn’t just choose to not think about it. I remember the bad things, and how they made me feel. And I never want to feel that way again. I couldn’t just go back out into the world like it never even happened. I know that there are a lot more good people than bad, I do believe that. But there are bad people too. And they can really hurt you deeply if you give them your trust. So I never trusted anyone. Three years ago it reached a point where I felt completely hopeless. It was all so exhausting. I was exhausted. Exhausted from carrying these heavy feelings. Exhausted from making bad decisions. Exhausted from the drugs. It felt like nothing was ever going to change for me. Around that time we went out to dinner with my mother, and we finally had a deep talk about everything. We’d talked about it before, but maybe this time I really meant it. I decided that I have to let it go. I just have to let it go. I still have dark times when I don’t want to study or work. But when I’m in a bad mood, I’ll turn to her. Her happiness doesn’t make me feel worse anymore. It motivates me. It inspires me. Now she’s the person who can most easily put me in a good mood. I let her be a part of my bad days. And because of that, she’s also become a huge part of my good days. Both of us have gotten a lot more mature, and a lot wiser. But it was mainly me, I think. I had to change. If I hadn’t found a way to let go, we’d still be too different to be this close.”

[somewhereincairparavel]

my favourite character exchange of all time between the hoo gang will always be this particular line from jason to nico in house of hades.

“Nico, you do choose how to live your life. You want to trust somebody? Maybe take a risk that I'm really your friend and I'll accept you. It's better than hiding”

jason doesn't say something like 'i'll make sure to prove myself to you' or 'i'll do everything I can to make sure I earn your trust' because they are empty words. especially considering that this was before jason knew about nico's past, he can't exactly do anything to make nico trust him, apart from offering support, because in the end, it was nico's choice whether to trust him or not.

yeah, some people might think jason was being 'cold' and 'shallow' for saying this, but jason genuinely MEANT well. he told nico that he's WILLING to be his friend even before he knew nico's past. this was before jason knew an OUNCE of nico's backstory. he gave some slightly harsh but brotherly advice to him.

jason didn't deliver any false promise to nico that everyone will love him no matter what and that everyone will always be kind to him in camp half blood (this strangely parallels w percy deliberately choosing to NOT promise nico that he'll keep bianca safe because percy knew that death is a possibility and didn't want to make any fake promises just because nico is a kid, percy tried his hardest to be honest with nico, that certainly caused problems of course, but we can see the pattern between how percy and jason both hated fake promises.)

also, in boo, will says “Oh, please. Nobody at Camp Half-Blood ever pushed you away. You have friends or at least, people who would like to be your friend. You pushed yourself away. If you'd get your head out of that brooding cloud of yours for once”

i know I've seen alot of people use this excerpt as consensus of saying that will is super 'tone deaf' and 'insensitive'. but can you guys see the pattern here? will came off a lot more agressive bc of his romantic feelings, but we can see how will, jason and percy were sort of 'reality checks' that nico NEEDED. he had an inferiority and victim complex (which is very justifiable and valid considering how much trauma he faced, on the contrary i thought nico was being considerably calm with everything he's been through and deserved to yell way more. I quite related to nico a lot when it comes to the personality sometimes so jason's words definitely struck a nerve for me) but nico was always drawn to honesty.

nico had some of his earlier memories washed away by the river lethe to 'protect' him from more trauma, and nico was so attached to bianca that the thought of her leaving for the hunters of artemis felt like a personal betrayal. he was made to beleive that he and his sister were safe in camp half blood, and combining that w the whole lethe thing and hades generally trying to protect the di angelo family from the gods, you can see how much nico needed honesty and not coddling. because coddling and sheltering ruined his life and took away his light.

jason saying that nico needed to take risks as it comes with the package of love and friendship, and overall giving him authenticity, telling him that heartbreak and family can coexist, causes nico to be drawn to him and genuinely have him an eye opener.

jason knew what it was like to be held with fake promises his whole life, and even mentions it as a reason as to why he made sure he kept the promises he made. because he would never turn out to be like his two faces mother beryl.

I'll always believe that jason played a huge part in nico's overall character, and his death even more so.

[eggsaladstain]

the darkling said i have loved and lost and i can bear it no longer, i will close my heart to anyone who is not like me, love is weakness, love is heartache, the joy of loving them is not worth the pain of losing them and i would spare her from this pain even if she hates me for it

and alina said i have loved him and i will lose him but not today, i have sacrificed everything but i will not sacrifice him, not again, i will bring him back to me no matter the cost, even if i have to let him go in the end

and mal said i have loved her my whole life but i don’t know who i am without her, i want a life of my own even if it means i have to leave her, but i will go trusting that i will be able to find my way back to her as i always have

and genya said i have loved him and i do not regret saving him but it came at a terrible cost, i have wandered underground in the dark with only the sound of his heartbeat guiding the way, i have survived unimaginable horrors and i am strong enough to survive losing him too

and david said i have loved her without knowing how to show it but i would like to try, i know metal and she is stronger than steel and more beautiful than rubies or emeralds, i have never known anyone braver and i regret leaving her side before, but i will do it just once more if it means i can save her

and wylan said i have loved him even knowing it might never be anything more, i left him the first time but i’m not leaving now, i want to hear about his day and i want to tell him about mine

and jesper said i have loved him all while hiding a part of myself but i will hide no longer, i do not know where this journey will lead us but i would like to find out, i have spent my life gambling and i will take a gamble on this

and nina said i have loved him even as he hates me, i have condemned him to save him and i will not rest until i am able to free him

and matthias said i have loved her despite a lifetime at war against her people, i should have known better than to trust her but i let myself anyway, she betrayed me and i should hate her but it’s not just hatred that i feel when i dream of her in the night

and inej said i have loved him as his shadow, close enough to be near but never touching, i want more for us and i will not settle for less, i will have him completely or not at all and i will not wait, i will live my own life with the freedom he gave me and we will meet again one day when i choose to return

and kaz said i have loved her when i could not love myself, i do not believe in saints but i believe in her, i have lost my brother and i would do anything to make sure she doesn’t have to suffer the same, i have given everything so she could have her freedom and i would rather watch her walk away than ever hold her back, i will wait for her and i will miss her every moment she’s not beside me, but i will try to make myself a better man by the time she returns

and sankta neyar said i have loved and lost and i will gladly do it again, i once closed my heart but no longer, i will endure the pain of losing my husband by cherishing the memories of the life we shared, may you all find a love that brings you joy that will outlive the pain, my love is my strength and my universe, i have lived for hundreds of years and what i have learned is this: there is only love, it is the only thing that matters and it is enough

[yuwuta]

HOW DID YOU GET USED TO THE HAUNTING, THE WILLING, THE MISSING, THE WANTING — YUUTA OKKOTSU

content, warnings. more of the knight yuuta universe yippee. i got an ask about telling him he’d make a good prince and flustering him, and that struck something in me, though this interpretation of that ask is probably a bit darker/more serious than envisioned... i will publish the ask w the other version of this scenario too. unfortunately for everybody involved i was a theater kid and i did listen to cell block tango and the first half of hamilton before i had this idea </3 i’m sorry if you can tell

more notes. set in the same universe as this drabble, which are all set in the same universe as a full fic draft i have and would love to finish some day lol. anyway, say hello to the gojo of this au 

You are not ready to be queen. As much as you resent your mother, your father, the elders in the cabinet, the system you were raised in—as much as you wish to be a ruler that creates change and peace in your court and kingdom, you know that you are not ready to hold that position. 

It shows now more than ever, with your parents being escorted to a neighboring kingdom for a meeting, and you in charge of the harvest ball. There is china to be chosen, silverware to be polished, candlesticks to be blessed, gowns to be sewn, a menu to be curated, a ballroom to be prepared—and you are sorely behind on all of your duties. 

A lackluster princess does not make for a promising queen. And distractions do not help you become anything of yourself. 

“I do not have time to discuss the lilies Sir Gojo. I am aware they are drooping and that they are your favorite, but I do not control the weather,” you sigh, handing back a scroll to a maid before turning to your head knight.

“That sounded very queenly, my little lady! You’ve been practicing,” he towers above you, with a growing smile and little care for your position. He bends forward to press the tip of his gloved pointer finger to your nose, “I too mourn the lilies, but I am afraid I agree: we have much more pressing matters to discuss. Come along, shall we?” 

You’ve learned to be wary of Sir Gojo’s words over the years. He often leads with a false timbre, or makes otherwise simple conversation into a riddle for his own amusement. Even as you’ve learned when to ignore his games, you’ve also grown appreciative of his light demeanor, and his insistence on speaking to you directly, rather than shielding you away. 

You take his arm, looping yours through his, and allow him to lead you down the courtyard steps and into the grand garden. You put your trust in him, allowing your feet to follow the path he sets, and letting your mind wander. You wonder whether you should set the gold or bronze-trimmed plates for the ball, if the curtains should remain closed or open, if the embossed or embellished silverware would leave a better impression on your guests. 

“Princess?” your knight calls for you. You focus your attention back to him, apologizing for your lapse in attention. 

You expect a smile, perhaps another press to your nose and a light scolding, but Gojo’s expression is much more neutral. “Sir?”

“I said that Lord Hajime is dead. His court will send a representative to the harvest ball, but how would you like to proceed?” 

“Dead?” your breath hitches momentarily, “Was he unwell?” 

“I do not know. The letter gave no detail. I believe the court sent an apology for not being able to deliver a suitor as promised. The family wishes to keep this private until after the harvest.” 

When you look up to him, you see no mischief in his expression. He’s serious, and you feel lightheaded, warm, and icy all at once. “I see,” you say, and pull away from Gojo’s arm, “Excuse me. I—I need a moment to myself.”

“You are sick? So suddenly?” Gojo asks, turning with your body so that his back is never to you.

“No—I… I… I need to be alone,” you confess, wrapping your arms around themselves, curling into your own body. Gojo stands firm, a short nod in understanding. He raises his hand to make a signal; an order for the knights on the periphery who can see but not hear. 

You smile, small, grateful for him. “Please, arrange our finest favors, and ask Ieiri for her favorite elixir.” 

Gojo’s smile reflects yours, albeit stained with more sympathy. “Of course.” 

“And tell the maids that I shall postpone the table placements until tomorrow morning. Should you find yourself with time to spare, let me know if you prefer the bronze to gold trim.” 

Gojo nods, taking a half-step to stand in front of you. In times like these, you feel like the little princess under his watch and care from when you were younger. His presence is frightening, overwhelming, and yet, more comforting and welcoming than your own parents. 

Carefully, he leans down to whisper, “Yuuta and his fleet have not yet returned, he will not be in the knight’s chambers. I will send him to you when he arrives.” You blink in sudden awe, and Gojo smiles, reaches for your hand and raises it to his lips to press a chaste kiss, “Do not regret too long, princess.” 

You hear him before you see him. It’s a bad habit for a knight, you think; you can always hear or feel where Yuuta is, even if you can’t see him. You think he ought to be more stealthy, more secretive, quieter; but then again, you don’t. He reserves plenty of stealth for his motives, stores plenty of secrets in his mind, keeps his words quiet or has a way of keeping other people’s quiet. 

The throne room is cold. It’s your least favorite room in the castle, but tonight, you hope it inspires you.

You don’t sit on your throne, you don’t sit on your mother’s or your father’s; you don’t sit at all. You stand, at the top of the stairs, staring at the seats and the tapestry and the paintings of your forefathers that decorate the backdrop. Behind you, at the base of the stairs, Yuuta kneels. You don’t need to see him to know; you can feel it on your palms with your hands behind your back; you can see it in the eyes of your grandfather’s portrait, you can hear it in the way his knee hits the carpet. 

“You may stand.” 

“I shouldn’t, my lady,” Yuuta replies, “Not here.” 

“You do many things you shouldn’t,” you sigh, steady, “Stand, Yuuta.” 

You hear the metal of his armor rustle against itself. You can feel when he stands; it feels like he’s right behind you, even though you know he’s ten steps below you. 

You inhale, slowly; exhale, slowly. Clench your hands behind your back, and then relax your shoulders the way you’ve seen your grandfather do. Then, you speak. “Lord Hajime is dead.” 

You turn, slowly, and wait until your cape has finished its turn, has settled behind you again before you speak again; a tactic your grandmother was fond of. “Lord Hajime is dead,” you repeat, “He is dead, and I asked you not to kill him.” 

Yuuta looks up to you. Neck craned, hands neatly behind his back, his helmet on the carpeted floor to his left. He does not look small. 

You take a step downwards. “I said this is not how I wanted matters to be resolved.” Another step down, a pause, then repeat, “I said that I do not wish to resort to violence.” Another step down, a pause, “To resort to murder.” Another step down, hurried, “I stood under my balcony,” another step, “and I told you not to murder Lord Hajime. I told you not to kill him,” another step; a pause, hysterical, “And yet Lord Hajime is dead. He is dead because—”

“I did not kill him.”

You pause your descent, four steps above Yuuta. You are only half a head taller than him like this. At this distance you can see the gray of his irises, wide and speckled with brown, without a shred of remorse pooling within them. It makes you sneer. 

“You expect me to believe that it is a coincidence that a fortnight after I catch you on your way to murder Lord Hajime, that he dies?” you question, rhetorical, “I am naive, but I am not a fool, Yuuta.” 

“You are no fool, my princess, and Lord Hajime was no saint,” Yuuta shakes his head, “He was a tyrant. He took three wives prior and treated them all as whores. He alone was responsible for the destruction of the crops in the north. He had only himself to blame.” Yuuta pauses, and you see something melt behind steely eyes. “It was a murder, yes, but not a crime.”

Yuuta’s lips wobble slightly, but the rest of him remains upright. It always goes like this: first his head, then his heart, then his body following—in everything he does. You blink, slowly, and take another step down; eye-level with Yuuta at this height. 

“You did not kill him,” you repeat, leveled with revelation, “You just gave the order.” 

Yuuta’s eyelids fall slowly, then his head follows in a shallow nod. He keeps his neck bent, keeps his head hung in front of you. You sigh. 

“Who was it this time,” you ask. He does not raise his head; you do not wait for him to speak, you dip your head so that your lips are level with his ears. “Megumi? Surely he would have hated the way Lord Hajime treated his livestock. Maybe Yuuji—he has been impatient to prove himself since recovering from his last injury. Or perhaps Toge, he would’ve done it swiftly in his sleep, without a sound.”

Yuuta keeps his gaze on the floor, keeps his words quiet. “Nobara.” 

“Dame Nobara, who strives to replace you as my first blade?” you question, “What, as some kind of test of loyalty to you?” 

Yuuta raises his head, eyes stern, brows drawn. “No, princess. To you.” 

You freeze. Your anger flares, and then subsides to only weak embers as you understand Yuuta’s motives, and Sir Gojo’s final words to you. You’re careful when you reach forward to brush your knuckle against Yuuta’s cold cheek, only the kiss of a touch between your finger and his face; even, still, he shudders, and you watch him melt from head to toe; from his eyebrows to his eyes to his lips to his shoulders to his knees. 

“You are disobedient, and indignant, and ruthless,” you list, voice soft, touch softer as you allow your fingers to graze the top of his ears, adoring the flush that follows, “And kind, and careful, and charming.”

You watch the color stain Yuuta’s cheeks and his ears, you revel in the pout on his lips, and the effort of his breathing. You only wish he were this easy to tame all the time. 

Still, he precious to you, so you are careful when you raise your opposite hand to his face, taking advantage of the difference in your status and stature to tilt his head upwards, lean down and press your words against his cheek, “You would make for a lovely prince,” you tell him, “The people would love you. Our enemies would fear you. The soldiers would respect you.” The kisses between your sentences are featherweight, trailed from the high point of his cheekbone to the corner of his lips.

You can feel him quiver when you pull back, moving a palm back to his cheek to pinch his skin between your thumb and forefinger, “If only you knew how to listen.” 

Yuuta winces, but he does not pull away. He parts his lips to steady his breath, and then to speak, strained, “Please, princess. Have mercy.” 

And for the first time in a fortnight you smile, watching splotched skin stain your knight’s cheeks when you soften your hold on him. You pull Yuuta’s head up further, lean yours down for a careful kiss; short, chaste, the kind you know he hates the most. 

“Oh, Yuuta,” you coo, grazing your thumb against his face, endeared by his wide eyes and quiet whimpers, “This is mercy.”