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self shipping angst is sooo funny. yeah this is my favorite character and romantic partner i love them with my entire heart. im going to make sure i almost die in front of them
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Breaking news: my comfort show just participated in main character death!
#Tim minear you have days to live.#you will begin to cough soon.#AND TO IMMEDIATELY FOLLOW HIS DEATH WITH HOZIER?#i might fr drop the series.#911 abc
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Don't Touch the Tech Girl
Summary : Sam told Bucky that you, his new tech engineer, was off-limits. But that just makes Bucky want you more.
Pairing : Bucky Barnes x engineer!reader (she/her)
Warnings/tags : Lots and lots of sexual tension, sexual themes, workplace power dynamics, Fluff!!!! Canon-compliant-ish. cursing. Sex is mentioned and described but nothing too graphic. Small mention that Bucky used to smoke.
Word Count : 5.7k
Notes : Hi all! I will post my series soon, but for now, I am focusing on one shots because I am in the process of moving flats! Also, some tag requests has been buried under comments, so please message me/or shoot me an ask if you'd like to be tagged! Enjoy!
You weren’t born into privilege, not handed your brilliance by name or legacy. You were forged by curiosity, tenacity, and a drive so relentless it kept you awake at night designing theoretical blueprints for machines that didn’t exist yet. While other kids were watching cartoons, you were trying to figure out how the animation worked.
You were the kind of brilliant that couldn’t be taught. The kind that made people uncomfortable. The kind that made people notice.
After the blip, Wakanda needed help to rebuild.
You were in your last year of doctoral research when Shuri found you. You'd written a paper on vibranium-adaptive circuitry— not for application, just out of scientific obsession. She read it, tracked you down and showed up in your lab without fanfare.
“You know this theory would work,” she said, scanning your schematics. “You’ve already solved a problem most people can’t even pronounce.”
You blinked, still in awe. “You’re Princess Shuri.”
The next few years were a blur. You worked in Wakanda, helping design and restore crucial systems. You helped lead the research initiative for post-Blip infrastructure. You reverse-engineered Stark-tech, collaborated with Griot before taking a lecturing gig at MIT.
There, you mentored a long list of young brilliant minds, including Riri Williams.
And yet… something felt off.
Despite everything, you felt caged.
Then you realised, ever since Wakanda, theory wasn’t enough for you. You were a hands-on person now. You needed problems to solve. You missed the adrenaline, the mess of a work table.
You missed the smell of soldered wires, the constant whir of active prototypes, the thrill of fixing tech that was actively falling apart.
That’s when the offer came from Sam Wilson and Joaquin Torres.
The new Captain America and his chaos-prone Falcon needed a tech engineer for their field equipment, specifically their state-of-the-art wing packs.
They asked around, and Shuri had personally recommended you.
“Trust me,” she told Sam, “she’ll do more than fix it. She’ll make it better.”
Sam finally reached out, officially.
“The government engineers hate me,” he confessed over the first video call. “You might be our only hope.”
You liked them immediately, and the job was exactly what you’d been missing.
It felt alive, unpredictable, high-stakes, high-tech, and high-risk.
So you packed up your comfortable teaching post at MIT. Said goodbye to pristine labs and overly polite faculty meetings and stepped into a small ops base that felt more like a rich family’s garage than a government facility.
And that’s where you met him.
James Buchanan Barnes.
Bucky to his friends.
You have heard of him before, of course. Shuri called him her second favourite white boy, just behind Everett Ross. In fact, she saw him as a brother more than anything else.
You didn’t know it yet, but he was about to become your favourite problem.
—
You were muttering curses at Redwing when you first met him.
The drone had fried its microthruster mid-flight, and of course, no one bothered to tell you until after Sam crash-landed into a water tower.
So now, it was 10:43 p.m., the base was dead quiet, and you were hunched over your workbench, coffee long cold, hair pulled back like you meant business.
“Alright, you little bastard,” you muttered, soldering iron in hand. “Spark in the wrong fuckin’ direction again and I’m rewriting your personality subroutines to a roomba.”
“That’s one hell of a threat,” a voice behind you drawled.
Unaware of a second person in the room, you jumped slightly in shock, finishing the adjustment with a quick twist of your tool. “Either you’re good at stalking,” you said, glancing over your shoulder, “or terrible at announcing yourself.”
He shrugged. “I’m good at a lot of things.”
You clocked the metal arm— and you knew it was Bucky Barnes. The former Winter Soldier, looking every bit the part with a black shirt and dark hair tucked behind his ears. Sam must’ve called him in for some field work, maybe on-ground support for tomorrow's mission.
“You always lurk in corners?” you teased.
He tilted his head. “Do you always talk dirty to drones?”
That earned a laugh from you as you wiped your hands on a nearby rag. “Only the ones that misbehave.”
His eyes darted to your grease-streaked hands before he saw Redwing flickering online.
“Sam said you were good,” he said, whistling low. “Didn’t say you were this good. Redwing’s been dead for two weeks, and you’ve got him up again in what—a day?”
You shrugged casually. “I like working with things that don’t talk back.”
“That’s gonna be a problem.”
“Why’s that?” You narrowed your eyes.
“Because I do.”
You didn’t look away, lips curving up into a sly smile. “I can handle it.”
That earned you a grin. He stepped closer, just across the workbench now. Not close enough to touch, but close enough to feel.
His eyes dropped to the drone. “You re-routed the thermal sensors.”
You arched a brow. “This your idea of flirting?”
He looked up, blue eyes gleaming with excitement. “Would it work if it was?”
Your laugh came easy, but your fingers didn’t stop moving. “Depends. You as hands-on as you look?”
He didn’t answer— not right away. He just moved around the workbench until he was behind you.
Then he whispered, “Try me.”
Your heartbeat thumped out of your chest, but your hands stayed steady. Only barely.
“You really shouldn’t sneak up on someone working with high-voltage components,” you let out a small laugh, warning him of more than just the circuitry. “I might shock you.”
Before he could say something even cockier, Sam opened the door and entered the room. “See you’ve met our new tech girl, Buck.”
You flinched slightly, and Bucky moved back.
Technically, Sam was your boss.
So technically, Bucky was your boss’ best friend.
And that was a bad idea, right?
—
It started small.
The flirting was inevitable— of course you were attracted to each other.
He was your type, you were his type. It wasn’t exactly rocket science.
But it wasn’t just… that.
He… actually made the effort to get to know you. You became friends first. He asked about your life: What made you tick. What pissed you off. What you did when no one was watching.
You gave him pieces of yourself.
And he gave you… things. Like a Eurasian Jay trying to mate by giving nuptial gifts.
The first time, it was totally casual. He gave you a protein bar post-mission.
“Figured you skipped lunch,” he said, tossing it onto your desk without meeting your eyes too long.
You were elbows-deep in Sam’s pack diagnostics, but you looked up. You arched your brow.
“Did Sam send you to make sure I didn’t pass out?”
“Nope,” he said, already walking away. “I’m just naturally thoughtful.”
You stared after him.
Thoughtful. Right.
That was the word we were using now.
The next week, he got you coffee, just the way you liked it. Down to the brand and milk-to-caffeine ratio.
You mentioned it off-handedly a couple days ago, and he remembered.
“Just happened to be in the area,” he said, leaning against the doorway like it wasn’t a forty-minute drive from where he lived.
You eyed him over the rim of your cup. “The base is not on the way to anywhere.”
“I took the bike,” he shrugged, “Made good time.”
You tried not to smile, but failed.
The week after that, he gave you a tiny gear charm on a thin, silver chain— clearly handmade, probably by him. It looked crooked, but it was beautiful to you, with teeth like a puzzle piece.
“Reminded me of you,” he said, like it was nothing, all while short-circuiting your entire nervous system.
You held it up between two fingers. “Because I’m small, stubborn, and get jammed in places I don’t belong?” You offered an explanation if he wasn’t brave enough to admit it.
He grinned, not denying it. “You said it, not me.”
You should’ve told him to knock it off. Maybe set some professional boundaries. You really should’ve.
Instead, you let him put the chain around your neck and wore it under your shirt like a dirty little secret.
The next week, he lingered longer and leaned in closer. He watched you work with that look— focused, and if not a little possessive. He had his hands in his pockets, thumb tapping against his belt like he was holding something back.
You glanced at him. “You trying to get something, Bucky?”
He tilted his head, deadpan. “Yeah. You.”
You almost dropped your wrench.
You coughed and laughed at the same time—half-flustered, half-shocked. “Fuck. Just lead with it next time.”
“Oh, I plan to.”
After that, the flirting escalated.
But… neither you nor him would do anything about it. Not while Sam was watching, anyway.
You’d be wrist-deep in tangled circuitry, and he’d pass you a screwdriver, letting his fingers brush yours just a second too long.
He’d stand behind you, “supervising” while you calibrated Joaquin’s flight pack— and he was close enough to feel his breath to ghost your shoulder, close enough that your body went still and hyper-aware of every little movement,
By month three or four, everyone was catching on.
One morning, Joaquin stood in the break room, sipping his coffee, nodding toward the door.
“Why does Bucky come here when we don’t need him on a mission?” he asked under his breath, eyes darting toward the man near your workstation. His arms were folded, eyes glued to you in a fitted tank top that was definitely not regulation.
Sam didn’t even bother to look up from his tablet. “Because he’s trying to get laid.”
Joaquin choked on his coffee. “Dude.”
“Which is why we’re keeping an eye on him,” Sam just sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose like this whole situation was giving him a headache. “Because if we lose her, we’re screwed. You know how hard it is to find someone who can keep up with our gear?”
—
Fifteen minutes later, Sam found Bucky walking in the hallway. “We need to talk.”
Bucky didn’t even slow his pace. “If this is about the vibranium plate I broke—”
“It’s about you trying to rail our tech engineer.”
Bucky blinked. “That’s... direct.”
“I’m serious!” Sam glanced around, lowering his voice but not his tone. “She’s brilliant. Like—Stark-level genius with none of the god complex. Do you have any idea how rare that is?”
“She is impressive,” Bucky admitted, which was code for: she’s been living rent-free in my fantasies for months.
“She’s more than impressive,” Sam snapped. “She’s irreplaceable. And if you screw this up—you’re gonna ruin the best hire I’ve made in years.”
Bucky stopped walking, folding his arms. “You think I’m gonna what, ghost her?”
“I know you,” Sam pointed, though he had to mentally compartmentalise to ask how he knew what ghosting was later. “You’re looking at her like she’s the last cigarette on the planet, and I know you haven’t smoked for like, six years.”
Bucky narrowed his eyes. “You really sat with that one, huh?”
“You can’t unfuck someone at work, Barnes. I’ve lived this,” Sam shot back. “Base hookups never end clean. And if it goes sideways, I lose my tech lead and you lose the one person who knows how to recalibrate your arm without needing a manual.”
There was a beat of silence, and Bucky almost looked thoughtful.
“So…” he started, “You’re saying I should commit.”
“I’m saying—” Sam dragged a hand down his face. “Jesus, no. I’m saying do not touch her. She is vital to the team. To our equipment. To my sanity. She’s not just someone you can have a fling with, she’s infrastructure.”
Bucky tilted his head, amused. “You just compared her to a bridge.”
“She is a bridge! Between functioning tech and whatever disaster Joaquin brings back from the field. I swear to fuck, if you make things weird—”
“You’ll what?” Bucky asked, liking the challenge.
“I will get Shuri to reprogram your arm to slap you every time you look at her.”
“You’re really making this sound more appealing,” Bucky mumbled under his breath.
See, Sam had made a big mistake.
Huge.
Because if there was one thing Bucky Barnes couldn’t resist, it was a challenge.
And by making you officially off-limits, he just wanted you more.
He hadn’t even planned on catching feelings —he didn’t even know if he had the capacity for real ones anymore— until you.
Annoyingly smart and stupidly hot. And underneath all that genius and grease-stained sarcasm was someone who actually made him want things.
So, what did he do?
Exactly what he wasn’t supposed to.
—
After the talk, Sam became a human firewall.
Every time you and Bucky were in the same room, Sam was there, supervising like he was running a daycare.
Once, you were just trying to update Redwing’s targeting algorithm.
Bucky was trying to hand you a wrench.
And Sam was standing six feet away, arms crossed, pretending to scroll through something on his tablet.
“Can I help you, Cap?” you asked, eyes flicking up.
“Nope,” Sam said. “Just observing.”
“You know you don’t need to be here right?” You chuckled. You knew he just got back from a mission, and he could use some rest. “You can take a break.”
“Bucky doesn’t need to be here, either.”
You didn’t even look at Bucky, but you felt the smile he was fighting off.
Bucky leaned in anyway, a bit too close for Sam’s liking under the guise of pointing at the display.
“Think this line’s pulling too much voltage,” he said.
You tilted your head, lowering your voice to match his, and so your boss couldn’t hear. “You just want to whisper in my ear.”
He nodded subtly. “And you like it when I do.”
“Barnes.” Sam’s voice cracked like a whip. “Step back. Let her work in peace.”
Bucky backed off with a dramatic sigh.
You… didn't notice.
Or if you did, you didn’t comment then. You just kept being you— and that was enough to do unspeakable things to Bucky's self-control.
He’d pass you a tool with his human hand on your lower back. You’d bite your lip when you were concentrating and not realise he’d stopped listening to the briefing entirely.
But every time Bucky tried to sneak in even a halfway flirtatious line, Sam was right there.
“Hey, you need help with the cooling matrix?” Bucky asked one afternoon, leaning over your shoulder just enough to smell your shampoo. “I’m pretty good with my hands.”
Before you could answer, Sam spoke up. “She’s good. She doesn’t need help. She’s very capable.”
You turned to blink at him. “I didn’t say I wasn’t.”
“Just making sure Tin Can remembers,” Sam muttered, sipping his coffee.
It only got worse from there.
Team debrief? Sam sat between you two.
Lunch break? Sam invited himself to sit directly across from you and stare Bucky down like he was a teenage boy trying to date his daughter.
Mission prep? Sam suddenly needed you for private discussions that lasted just long enough to make Bucky grit his teeth.
Bucky was seconds away from losing it.
It was fucking hard to just not… snap.
Literally and metaphorically.
And now Sam was acting like your personal chaperone. Bucky swore the next time he got in the way, he was going to launch him out the nearest window.
He was tired of being treated like a threat when all he’d done was look at you like you were made of stars.
So later that night, when he found you alone in the garage— legs crossed on the workbench, music playing while you tinkered with Redwing’s sensors— he stood in the doorway a moment too long.
You looked up, smiling without hesitation. “You got past Sam’s force field?”
“He’s out cold after training,” Bucky shrugged. “He tried to go without coffee today.”
You snorted. “That’ll do it.”
He stepped closer and hesitated. “Did you know he’s been keeping us apart?”
You didn’t look up. Not yet. “Figured something was going on.”
“He thinks we’ll mess up,” Bucky said. “Thinks we’ll make it awkward.”
You set your tool down, finally looking at him.
“Let me guess,” You gave him that smile. It was dangerous. “That makes you want me more?”
Bucky let out an incredulous laugh, running a nervous hand through his hair. “You know me so well.”
You hopped down off the bench, walking over until you were standing in front of him, your chest barely brushing his.
“So what now?” Your head tilted just enough to be a question. “You finally gonna make your move while the warden’s asleep?”
His lips tugged into a half-smile. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
“I’d like a lot of things,” you said, letting the suggestion hang.
Bucky’s eyes darkened.
You tilted your head, chin high. “You didn’t think I noticed?” you asked. “How you always find a reason to be close?”
He didn’t move. He couldn't. Not when you were this close.
“And I kept wondering,” you whispered playfully, eyes on his lips now, “if you were going to keep playing the long game, or finally admit how bad you want it.”
Bucky’s breath caught. His fingers twitched at his sides like he was fighting the urge to reach for you.
You didn’t give him the chance.
You kissed him.
And god, he melted.
It wasn’t soft. At least, not at first.
Both your lips parted, a moan caught in your throat as he gripped your waist and pulled you into him like he’d been holding back for weeks.
His mouth moved with yours like he needed you to survive.
It was the kind of kiss that said this has been driving me crazy and I’m done pretending it hasn’t. His metal hand slid up your neck, fingers tilting your face just right, the human one curling around your lower back.
You pressed in closer, feeling now how tightly he held you, as if he didn’t trust this wasn’t a dream.
When you finally pulled back, you pressed your forehead to his.
His eyes fluttered open.
He looked... dazed.
He looked like he’d been hit with a truck full of hormones.
“You’re so fuckin’ pretty,” he mumbled, and then blinked, like he hadn’t meant to say it out loud.
You grinned, cheeks hot.
“You’re wrecked,” you teased, amused. “I barely kissed you.”
“You call that barely?” he breathed, stunned. “Christ.”
Then, he ran the back of his fingers along your jaw. “I’ve wanted that for so long I forgot what not wanting it felt like.”
You leaned in again, brushing your nose against his. “Then take what you want, Sarge.”
His smile turned dangerous.
This little escapade ended with you pulling Bucky into the nearest supply closet and locking the door behind you.
You didn’t even give him a chance to catch his breath.
“You sure about this?” he asked, the light catching in his eyes like silver and smoke.
You just grabbed the collar of his shirt to yank him down into another kiss.
What happened next wasn’t exactly PG.
There was heat, and hands, and the kind of breathy curses that barely made it past lips pressed together. Bucky’s dog tags clinked against the trinket necklace that he gave you. Something fell off a shelf. You didn’t notice. Bucky didn't care.
At one point, you were both breathless and laughing, pressed chest-to-chest in the cramped space, when you whispered, “This is so unprofessional.”
Bucky whispered back, “Shhhh, I’m busy,” right before he kissed you again, muttering downright filthy praises as he made his way to his knees.
Forty minutes later, the door clicked open and you both reemerged.
Not quite innocent, but decent enough. Bucky’s hair was slightly more tousled than usual, and you’d thrown on a hoodie over your tank top, even though you never wore your hoodie indoors.
But now, you had to. Or else Sam would see the marks Bucky left along your neck.
An hour later, Sam finally stirred from his coffee-deprived coma.
He shuffled into the hangar, muttering about needing espresso and a neck brace.
The first thing he saw was you and Bucky standing near your workstation. Flirting, but overall looking normal.
Almost.
But you were in your hoodie. Inside.
Sam squinted.
“Huh,” he muttered. “That’s new.”
You didn’t even blink. “It’s cold in here.”
Sam shrugged. Best not to think too much of it.
—
Hooking up with Bucky Barnes was never supposed to feel like falling in love.
But it did.
Not in a dramatic, slow-motion, hearts-eyes kind of way.
It happened steadily. Like gravity.
Sam thought the crush had run its course when the flirting died down in public. He figured the spark fizzled, and neither of you wanted to admit it. So he started easing up on the chaperoning.
What he didn’t know was that the tension had stopped boiling over in public because you’d found an outlet to release it in each other’s bed.
But it was never just that.
You started to notice how Bucky watched your face—not your body—when you talked about something that excited you. Like your circuitry project, or the Wakandan energy conversion systems. Or the ridiculous theory you had about quantum-linked processors and how they might someday change the world.
He listened, not out of obligation, but curiosity. He wanted to know how your mind worked, even if the words flew over his head.
He started sleeping over after your late-night hookups. At first it was just practical. After a mission, he'd stumble into your bed, and afterwards, neither of you had the energy to move.
But then it became a comfort.
Then it was something he didn’t want to go without.
One morning, you found him installing blackout curtains in your bedroom.
“You hate waking up early,” he said with a shrug. “Thought this might help.”
And maybe that was the moment you realised it wasn’t casual anymore. Maybe that was the moment you realised you weren’t falling— you’d already fallen.
He took you out, and was a real gentleman about it, too.
He always took you to the coffee shop you loved—the one with awful chairs and strange wall art and croissants that tasted like buttery clouds. He’d sit next to you with his sunglasses on and his hand in yours, like his body didn’t know how not to be near you.
He let you ride on the back of his bike, with your arms wrapped around his waist.
He’d park on quiet hills overlooking the city lights, hand you a drink from a fast-food drive-thru and just… sit.
Sometimes you’d talk.
You talked about Wakanda. About Shuri—how much you missed her. How much he did, too.
You talked about the things you were afraid to want. A future. Stability.
He told you that you made him feel normal. Like a person, not a weapon.
You told him he made you feel seen. Like someone worth noticing, beyond an academic accomplishment.
And when he kissed you, sometimes it felt like it hurt. Sometimes you wondered if it scared him to fall in love.
One night, he even took the leap and whispered I love you.
You said it back, just as gently.
So yeah, technically you were dating.
Not that Sam or Joaquin knew.
—
You still tried to play it casual— at least in public.
Which brings us to one very specific Saturday afternoon.
You and Bucky had been… busy.
The kind of busy that started with you on your kitchen counter, legs wrapped around his waist and ended up with you bent over that same counter, forearms braced against the cool marble, your hoodie bunched up around your waist.
Bucky's hands gripped your hips like he was anchoring himself, hips snapping forward in a rhythm that bordered on sinful.
You moaned, biting your lip just to stay somewhat quiet, but failing miserably.
“Fuck, baby,” he growled against the back of your neck. “You were made for me.”
You tried to let out a breathless, wrecked laugh, but all that came out was a broken sigh.
You were close. So close—
And then the front door opened.
You had accidentally left it unlocked.
At first, you didn’t register it, not over the sound of your own moaning. Not over Bucky’s groans and the slap of skin on skin.
Until—
“Yo, I just came by to grab the upgrades—OH MY GOD.”
Joaquin was standing frozen in your doorway.
His eyes were wide, mouth open, and you could’ve sworn his soul was visibly leaving his body.
You screamed.
Bucky swore.
You yanked your hoodie down, cheeks burning. Bucky stepped in front of you like he could somehow block the mental trauma Joaquin had just suffered and pulled up his sweatpants.
“What the fuck? I can’t unsee that,” he sputtered, spinning around, only to walk directly into the wall.
You slapped your hand over your mouth. “Oh my god– oh my god— Is today Saturday? I told him— ARGHH!—Bucky! DO SOMETHING!”
Bucky just exhaled like a man getting hit with a tax audit and reached for his wallet on the side table.
“Torres,” he called out.
Joaquin peeked over his shoulder like Bucky was Medusa. “If you hand me cash, I swear to—”
“Apple Pay?” Bucky offered, putting down the wallet and reaching for his phone instead.
You blinked.
“…Depends how much.”
“Five hundred,” Bucky said, “You never tell Sam. You never joke about it on base. You never bring it up ever.”
Joaquin squinted. “Make it six.”
You groaned, burying your face in your hands.
“Six-fifty,” Bucky countered, tapping on his phone, “and you run interference next time Sam gets nosy.”
“I’m gonna need therapy,” Joaquin demanded. “And probably bleach. So I need more.”
“Add another fifty,” you piped up from behind Bucky, “and I throw in a custom diagnostic chip for your wings.”
Joaquin considered it. “Deal.”
And that’s how the Falcon walked out of your apartment $700 richer.
—
Two months later, dragging Joaquin into your sexcapades had become standard protocol.
“Distract Sam. Ten minutes,” you hissed into the comms, already breathless, ducking into the back of a supply truck with Bucky right behind you, stripping off his tac vest.
“Again?!” Joaquin whisper-yelled through his ear piece.
“You love us,” you cooed sweetly, right before Bucky yanked your shirt over your head and you were cut off.
So Joaquin did his part.
Sam would be looking for you, when suddenly there was Joaquin, materialising beside him like a caffeine-fueled jackrabbit.
“Yo, Cap, wanna see this new drone maneuver I coded? It does a barrel roll. In reverse.”
Sam gave him a squint. “Aren’t you on aerial patrol?”
“I am! This is, uh, supplemental. For morale. Very therapeutic. Like—watch!”
Meanwhile, four doors down, you were bent over a crate of rations in a supply closet, Bucky’s hand clamped over your mouth as he fucked you like the world might end in twenty minutes and he wanted to die with your name on his lips.
You gasped around his palm. “He’s right there—oh —”
“Then shut up,” Bucky growled.
Sam, on the other hand, was not buying it.
“You good, man?” He asked, genuinely worried, “You’ve been real twitchy lately.”
Joaquin was sweating bullets: “I’m fine. Totally normal. Definitely not thinking about sex.”
Sam blinked.
“I– I mean SUCCESS,” he stammered, stumbling over his words, “Teamwork, and all that stuff!”
Sam didn't buy it, but didn’t have a reason to question it, either.
And from there, it was chaos.
Sam wanted to call you for a debrief?
Joaquin would “accidentally” spill an entire protein shake over the mission map.
Sam headed to the hangar?
Joaquin sprinted to intercept, yelling about “mysterious engine noises” while Bucky slipped out the back with you, shirt half-buttoned and lipstick smudged across his chin.
You, Bucky, and Joaquin became a well-oiled, morally questionable unit.
But in the end, Bucky got laid.
You got your insides rearranged.
Joaquin got trauma and a couple of upgrades.
So it was a win-win for everyone.
—
You were especially reckless one Wednesday.
You remembered because it was leg day— and Bucky had already wrecked you in training so badly, you could barely walk straight.
Sam had assigned him to sharpen your hand-to-hand skills, after all. He took that very literally.
Now you were pressed up against the wall of some dusty, half-forgotten hanger in the compound, your legs shaking for an entirely different reason. His dog tags smacked against your chest, tangling with the little charm you kept around your neck. Your grunts echoed far too loud for anyone trying to keep this a secret.
“Bucky,” you gasped. “Someone could walk in.”
He groaned into your neck, not slowing down at all. “Let them. Let ‘em see what they’ll never get.”
You dug your nails into his back, barely able to think. “Fuck, you’re so full of yourself.”
“You weren’t complaining last night when I—”
“Hey!” you cut him off playfully with a slap to the shoulder. “Focus, Sarge!”
Neither of you noticed the faint mechanical chirp overhead.
Redwing was perched on a maintenance cabinet nearby.
Recording. Because Sam had programmed it to run 24/7 in order to test the heat sensors.
—
Two days later, Sam was in the control room, analysing flight path data.
Joaquin was lounging beside him, and today, you had a day off.
“Hey,” Sam suddenly said, frowning at his screen. “Why is Redwing’s log showing heat spikes in Hangar C?”
“What?” Joaquin choked on his smoothie. He knew immediately what must’ve fucking happened, and dismissed any accusation right away. “Pfft. Probably a… malfunction.”
Sam clicked a few buttons as a projection flared to life.
“Weird,” he shook his head, leaning in. That’s… body heat. Two sources. Definitely not a test flight…”
“Must be…strays,” Joaquin blurted. “Like, uh, animals. Rats. Maybe raccoons. Having sex.”
Sam turned to look at him. “You’re telling me this is a rat orgy?”
“Big problem in Hangar C.” Joaquin nodded solemnly. “Very horny wildlife.”
But Sam wasn’t convinced. “Wait… why does the audio kick in right… here?”
Click.
Suddenly the speakers came alive with your voice.
“Oh my God—yes—right there—”
Then Bucky’s voice followed. “You like that, huh? Cryin’ for me out here like a needy little—”
“FUCK,” Joaquin screamed, lunging across the table and slamming the power button like his life depended on it.
The room went silent as the lights flickered dead. Sam blinked like he’d been hit by a truck.
“…Rat orgy,” Joaquin whispered desperately, voice cracking.
Sam turned to him. “That was Bucky, wasn’t it?”
Joaquin didn’t move. “I’m not legally required to answer that, am I?”
—
You were curled up on Bucky’s couch, one of his hoodies swallowing you whole, legs tangled with his, a half-eaten bowl of popcorn on your lap. The movie—a classic noir thing he vouched for—was on, but you weren’t really paying attention.
His thumb traced lazy circles on your thigh, under the blanket, and every time he leaned in to whisper a joke, you could feel his scruff brushing against your temple.
Everything felt right.
Then his phone buzzed.
He ignored it.
It buzzed again.
“Someone’s persistent,” you chuckled, not thinking much of it, and not looking away from the screen.
“Probably Torres,” Bucky sighed, reaching for it. “Or spam. Or spam from Torres.”
When he checked the messages, he looked… confused.
“What?” you asked, noticing the change in his posture. He turned the phone toward you.
A video file was labeled: Redwing_Betrayal.MOV
Below it, a message from Sam.
Do NOT fuck this up. Do NOT make this weird. Or I’ll throw you off a plane with no chute.
Bucky squinted. “Didn’t know Redwing could send files this big.”
You sat up slightly, concern creeping in. “Wait—what?”
And because Bucky had the restraint of a gnat, he tapped play without thinking twice.
Grainy thermal footage lit up the screen. Then you heard sounds that suspiciously sounded like your name. Then, the full 4K video synced in, and you saw yourself and Bucky going at it like bunnies.
You almost choked. “OH MY—.”
You lunged for the phone like it was a grenade, but Bucky held it out of reach.
“Oh,” he said, amused. “It’s that day. We looked good.”
“JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES.” You buried your face in his chest, nearly shrieking. Sam—your boss, Bucky’s best friend—knew now. Thank God this job didn’t have HR. “I—I didn’t even know Redwing was recording!”
“I need to step up my game,” he said casually, scrubbing through the clip like he was watching game tape. “See? My hip angle was off in the first minute.”
“Bucky—”
“But damn,” he added, serious. “Look at your arch, though.”
You smacked him with a pillow. “TURN IT OFF.”
He smirked, not budging, and hit save to his private album.
“You’re the worst,” you groaned, though it was playful more than anything, hitting him again with the pillow.
“I’m keeping it for science,” he said innocently. “And maybe for when you’re out of town.”
You smacked his arm, and he kissed your forehead like that made everything better.
It kinda did.
Bucky pulled you back into his chest, still grinning like a menace, and grabbed his phone again, thumb flying over the screen.
You peeked over his shoulder to see.
To: Sam I am weird. And also look amazing doing it.
Sent.
He snorted as the typing bubble popped up.
A second later, Sam’s response came in, and it was just a line.
Jokes aside, I’m happy for you.
You both stared at it.
“Well…” you said, a little stunned, “that’s… sweet?
“Coming from Sam?” Bucky chuckled. “That’s a miracle.”
So he just leaned back against the couch, pulling you even closer as you both processed Sam’s strange acceptance. Perhaps, after all the years of seeing his friend brood alone in his apartment, Sam finally saw through the professional lens and was glad that someone was able to keep Bucky in check, even if that someone happened to be his tech girl.
With a satisfied grin, he tapped his phone a few more times, and you heard him mutter, “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you still have a job.” He raised an eyebrow at the screen. “And Joaquin’s side hustle? Yeah, that’s done. No more hush money and suit upgrades from him.”
You chuckled, knowing full well Bucky would take care of things, like he always did.
The whole situation might’ve been ridiculous, but with him?
You didn’t have to worry about anything
Except maybe keeping government tech out of the bedroom.
-end.
General Bucky taglist:
@hotlinepanda @snflwr-vol6 @ruexj283 @2honeybees @read-just-cant
@shanksstrawhat @mystictf @globetrotter28 @thebuckybarnesvault@average-vibe
@winchestert101 @mystictf @globetrotter28 @shanksstrawhat @scariusaquarius
@reckless007 @hextech-bros @daydreamgoddess14 @96jnie @pono-pura-vida
@buckyslove1917 @notsostrangerthing @flow33didontsmoke @qvynrand @blackbirdwitch22
@torntaltos @seventeen-x @ren-ni @iilsenewman @slayerofthevampire
@hiphip-horray @jbbucketlist @melotyy @ethereal-witch24 @samfunko
@lilteef @hi172826 @pklol @average-vibe @shanksstrawhat
@shower-me-with-roses @athenabarnes @scarwidow @thriving-n-jiving @dilfsaresohot
@helloxgoodbi @undf-stuff @sapphirebarnes @hzdhrtss @softhornymess
@samfunko @wh1sp @anonymousreader4d7 @mathcat345 @escapefromrealitylol
@imjusthere1161 @sleepysongbirdsings @fuckybarnes @yn-stories-are-my-life
@cjand10 @nerdreader @am-3-thyst
@goldengubs @maryevm @helen-2003
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sad reality of the fanfic-to-published work economy is that the weirdest people are willing to do it. that's why there's now hundreds of shitty no plot cishet hate-to-love enemies-to-lovers books that are ex reylo fanfic. and it's not even good. that's because the people who wrote book-quality steve/bucky and kirk/spock fic are too normal to think to themselves "i should get this porn published". they're too busy working in local government offices
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seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors
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Reblog to let prev know their presence is wanted
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"I'm just a girl", "girl math", "girl dinner", "divine feminine energy", "bimbocore", "clean girl", "girl's girl", "girlfriend brain" SHUT UPPP!!! SHUTT THE FUCKKKK UPPPPPP !!!!
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If any of you are wondering why the hell so many Call of Duty writers have lost their collective mind over The Pitt, it might be enlightening for you to know that we all in fact have massive competency kinks and the ER has all of the hierarchical drama of the military with comparatively few ethical pitfalls
(Also if you dangle two older men whose literal job it is to take care of people in front of a bunch of daddy kink girlies (gender neutral) carnage will very predictably ensue)
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“I wasn’t the one talking to the cartoon animals in Peds.”
Frank Langdon, you are so lucky that Robby didn’t BITCH SLAP you into rehab and your next wife.

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cinematography!!!!!!!!!!!!! emergency sign but it's half visible; in the middle between ambulance (eventual death from drugs) and pitt entrance (chance to save yourself) his grave is only half way done, langdon still has a chance to claw back if he choose so-
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the holy trinity
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watched the pitt. here is my contribution. santos and langdon my absolutely beloved workplace enemies who refuse to acknowledge they are the same person in slightly different fonts
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THE PITT 1x12 | Dr. Robby & Dr. Shen being this meme:

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