#I did this mainly for me
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lyssala · 1 year ago
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The Sun & The Moon: On the FFXVI Ending
Throwing my thoughts on the ending into the void.
Aka I keep seeing posts about the ending so I need to type out my thoughts to validate myself.
For reference, we played on release and did two full play throughs.
First of all, I am a happy ending person. I want desperately to find the happiness because there was so much suffering so much loss. Saving the world or not, the thought of Clive having come so close to his own happy ending, of having the family and the love he never got to have, so damn close and then still ending up dying alone on a beach leaving the people waiting for him wondering if he would ever come back to them seems so cruel.
But, Lyssa, you played XV too, and Noctis legitimately sacrificed himself in the end to save the world. You’re right, he did, and that ending still makes me ugly cry because I also didn’t think it was fair that he had to do that. The thing were XV and XVI differ is, we see Noctis in the after with Luna, in their wedding attire, finally together. It’s immensely bittersweet, but we see them at peace. We do not get that in XVI SO point by point let’s GO.
(Warning for spoilers, including character death, in other Final Fantasy games as well)
Why I Don’t Think We Can Assume Any of the Three are Dead
1. The Ancient Rule of Storytelling: No body, you say? THEY AIN’T DEAD.
Usually used when a villain “is defeated” but then they can never find a body - guess what, Luffy is going to have to beat their ass YET again. Final Fantasy has never shied away from character death. From Minwu (FFII) to Tellah (FFIV) to Aerith (FFVII) to Zack (FFVII:CC) to Haurchefant (FFXIV) to Noctis (FFXV), heck even other character death in XVI.
Dion to me is the iffiest one, and I say it with a heavy heart because I loved Dion. He fell early and he had death flags on him BUT we didn’t even see him hit the ground so I still standby that if Clive could survive falling from Origin, Dion could too.
Joshua we actually did see die, and it was terrible - both when it happened and when Clive went back to mourn his brother (again for that matter and thanks I’m crying again). The thing is, we also explicitly watch Clive use Phoenix’s power to heal Joshua. Yeah we don’t see him wake up, but literally what was the point of that action if Joshua was just gonna…you know still be dead. They could have just left him as he was. The whole purpose of showing that action, imo, was to finally give Clive the chance to save his brother, which was all he wanted for so much of his life. I don’t believe that was done as just “well you tried but he really dead, bro.” To me it was to show, no, Joshua has a chance to live the life he always wanted too.
Clive, despite all his dang death flags, is still the most secure to me because the last time we see him, he’s still alive. We know he survived the fall, we know he was conscious on the beach, we only saw the curse spread to his hand. If they really wanted to hint he would die there, we easily could have seen the curse spreading to his face. We didn’t though. He was tired, and weak but he was alive. They made an effort to show him alive. If they truly wanted an ambiguous ending they didn’t even need to show him on the beach, just showing Origin fall would be enough. They didn’t though. They showed the man alive, calling out to Jill, not as apology for breaking his promise but a “I can see the moon same as you, I’m still here.”
2. The Ding Dang Themes of the Game
We spend the whole game determined to fight fate, and while yes, fate was defeated when Ultima was defeated, because the human will won…then didn’t because the man who was determined to fight and escape those binds still ended up lost those everyone who loves him…which was part of the fate he was trying to escape? Final Fantasy games have had dark elements before, and they’ve been heartbreakingly sad. They’ve shown loss of all sorts some self sacrifice, and some because the world can be just so cruel. However, once thing Final Fantasy isn’t is loss without hope.
Noctis got to say goodbye to his best friends (yes I am crying again don’t you dare mention Stand by Me in my presence) because he knew what was coming and they knew what was coming. It gutted me, but they all knew and had come to terms with it. It was Noctis’ choice to walk in there knowing he was not coming back. Clive was not the same. He didn’t say goodbye, he said, I’m coming back. While everyone knew there was a risk which is why it was so emotional to say goodbye, he had a life he wanted to return to, one he spoke of returning to. It was never, “You’re coming back right?” And then they skirt around giving a firm answer because they just don’t know. Clive was firm about it, he was coming back, it was his will to come back and guess what won against Ultimia? You guessed it, human will.
Having Clive die alone on a beach after all of that? After all he went through and after all he still wanted? That to me is just cruel, and Final Fantasy has never been cruel. Ren also made the good point that if Clive was to die, Joshua would have fallen with him, so it ended in a reversal of beginning with Joshua watching Clive die instead of the other way around. That didn’t happen either though. He was on the beach, again, still alive (see point 1 as a reminder), additionally, if he thought he was dying, I’d imagine he’d be apologizing to Jill for breaking his promise. In fact that’s what I SWORE he was going to do, but he didn’t. His will to survive was still intact when we left him which to me fits far more with the theme of this game then dying alone on a beach.
3. The Sun and the Moon (It’s Clive and Jill, It’s Just Literally Them)
So yeah I know that the sun and moon imagery is usually used to describe star crossed lovers, never meant to be as the sun and moon rotate. The game already proved that was untrue, they were always meant to be. By all odds they survived and somehow found one another again.
Jill, the moon of course, always said it was because of her prayer to Metia, that every time she prayed for him to return to her, Metia granted her prayer. I say this as someone who grew up religious but now am not, Jill believed it I’m sure but I think it was Jill. Love has also been a huge theme in Final Fantasy, and Jill’s heart filled prayers to keep Clive safe, always had. Not necessarily because a god deemed it so (again, defying gods a huge Final Fantasy theme lol) but her complete and sincere love for Clive, that always kept him safe to come home to her. She prayed for him as he was leaving for origin, just as heart felt as she always had. Why would that fail now the time she probably desired it more than any other time? That also seems so cruel. For him to be torn from her when they were so close to finally being able to have the life they dreamed of together. What purpose does that serve? It wouldn’t except for Jill to have yet another thing in her life to break her heart and leave her to pick up the pieces. I think she would, for Clive’s memory, but again, it feels like loss for no reason but loss. Jill deserves her happy ending too.
You find out later on even more so why Jill cherished the moon, because it brought the sunrise (or you know Clive in the metaphor here) and with the sun the promise the Clive would always come for her. One he never broke. They literally went out of their way to say “the sunrise meant you’d always come for me, I know this.” It was a direct setup for the ending. It was her seeing the star she always prayed on for Clive flicker out, and in that moment I think she did lose all hope because that was the one thing she could always count on to bring him home (to which again, not a god, but her love that brought him home). She is distraught (and so was I so we have that in common LOL) but then, the sun rises, and she smiles. It’s hope. It’s her hope because Clive has never broken a promise to her, and the sunrise has always brought him to her. I have no reason to believe the sunrise didn’t bring him home to her like it always has. Not a single point in this game has given me reason to believe it so why would I?
4. They Did the Thing! The Name of the Game!
A smaller point but one none the less. I sure hope you all played every single side-quest. One particular one, leaves you with a quill to add to Clive’s wall of treasures; one with the sole purpose of when (not if) Clive puts his sword down, that he writes his story. What do we see in the after credits? Literally, a book that is telling his story. Idk how more clear they gotta be that Clive is gonna be okay (tbf I WISH they would have just told me he was gonna be okay too LOL)
Granted, Joshua Rosfield is the author to which, it really could have been him writing Clive’s story in his absence or it could have been Clive and using the name to memorialize his brother’s name. Or it could have been the both of them and they used Joshua’s name because Clive is content living his life behind the scenes. He’s never wanted attention or praise. I don’t think he ever would have used his own name.
Additionally, the ending lines that equates to as my journey ends another one begins to me never meant journey = life. His journey was over, he did what he set out to do. The new journey? Traveling the realms with his wife in a world without the burdens of magic and doing what they do best, help the people who need it.
5. Doggy Knows Best
And finally, my last point is, Torgal knows what’s up. Technically, this is Ren’s point so I give him the credit here but animals, especially Torgal who is more than just a dog (literally an Eikon himself bonded to Jill and Clive, something acknowledged in the game), know when their master is hurt or worse. We’ve seen Torgal when one of them are hurt or in danger or not coming home. Yet at the end of the game, when Jill is absolutely breaking Torgal simply howls.
You know where else he did that? When he was trying to find Clive after Phoenix Gate and he would sit and howl. They were already bonded, he knew Clive (and Jill) were alive but he didn’t know where so he howled for his people until he could find them. It’s the same thing he does at the end of the game. He knows Clive is alive out there, and they are just separated but they’ll find another again because just like Jill, Torgal has no reason to believe otherwise.
And honestly I’m going to believe the dog.
Final Thoughts…For Now Cause I Always Have Thoughts its the ADHD
If you read all this, I hope it brought you some peace <3 I don’t believe a cop out everyone died ending is indicative to the wonderful storytelling this team has brought us in FFXIV. If anything, it reminds me of the ending of A Realm Reborn when you are convinced all the Scions are dead and then ope nope they’re fine just scattered and we’ll find them yeah SOUND FAMILIAR LOL I think they left it open to let people come to their own conclusions but in my heart of hearts I believe they had no intention to let Clive die on that beach because nothing in the story leads me to that conclusion.
If they try to tell me otherwise, well then I’ll go full denial LOL but unless Yoshi-P calls me up and says girl stop you’re wrong, I’ll continue to push my Clive finally gets his happy ending and travels the realms with Jill like he promised her <3 (ONE MORE THING: why the heck would they have Jill just be like mmmm think I wanna leave this realm when its over, lets see the world if they had no future content planned YOU CAN’T FOOL ME she could have easily said anything but she said something that would directly give us more content okay I’m done lol)
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papanowo · 2 months ago
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i think dan should get to be a little weird too. as a treat
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zecoritheweirdone · 7 months ago
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wanna preface this by saying that i am. So normal. anyway i just spent the last week redrawing scenes from mystery skulls animated but as that hermitcraft au i posted about a couple times. you guys should watch msa it is. so so good.
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ruporas · 2 years ago
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i’ll find you again in every universe. let us be a little more honest, let us have a little more time.
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#despite it all though badlands rumble is like. the only universe where we get wolfwood thinking vash died first... and i think that means a#lot to their relationship and how it may bloom if there was more to badlands rumble considering vash literally saw wolfwood carrying a piece#of vash after his supposed death. u know! despite the short time they were together vash still meant so much to wolfwood that he couldn't#just move on or forget him in anyway. needed to keep a piece of him for himself and the rest of his days. but ofc vash lives and wolfwood#was like ill beat ur fucking ass into tomorrow. there's just so much honesty in vash being able to see that gesture bc he wouldnt know#otherwise just how much he might mean to him. ANYWAY. trimax with with the eternal pining featuring the two chapters where imo#where the both of them really fell for each other... i wrote my thoughts about this on another comic i did before#but vash solidifying his feelings during the hospital arc -- ww solidifies his when he realizes his allegiances are permanently with vash#98 my lovelies but also to me they are so one-sided bc ww pined like no tomorrow and vash only realizes after ep 23?24? his heart did tickle#whenever ww complimented his smile though#and tristamp vw my beloveds. it really just feels like they get the  chance to be closer and closer and more honest with each other#with every version that comes about. in trimax they knew how little time they had but struggled so desperately to get closer. in 98 ww felt#more willing to forsake for vash. in badlands rumble theyre Angry but as mentioned earlier ^ more blatant truth... due to circumstances#mainly but has the chance to lead to discussions and tristamp literally. first day of knowing each other ww saves vash - 2 days later vash#saves ww like. Man. AND NOW THEY MAY POTENTIALLY GET EVEN CLOSER!!!! with s2....#ruporas art
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welcometogrouchland · 5 months ago
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Disgustingly messy and crusty sketch dump but I couldn't get my own terrible theory out of my head and ended up making a bunch of sketches about it. Also at the end a bonus dickbats and Damian doodle bc I was reading an issue of their Batman and Robin run (IDs in Alt)
#dc comics#dc#batfamily#batman#damian wayne#stephanie brown#tim drake#dick grayson#cassandra cain#duke thomas#anyway. zdarsky run sure is something huh?#its still so funny to me that half of 148 was leaked a few days before like someone has it OUT for that book over at bleeding cool ig#i don't necessarily think this theory will come true I'm just imagining how stupid it would be if it did#I'm not super happy with the dialogue in the cass+duke+dick comic but i felt my og dialogue might've read too fanon#mainly just bc cass' last sentence was originally shorter/just ellipses and duke said smthin like ''wait? villain arc?''#which you could easily find in wayne family adventures. even tho it would've been appropriate for this situation 😭#now the dialogue just sounds kind of generic (esp cass') and it's BOTHERING ME AUGHH. this is the comic book fandom panopticon /j#anyway Bruce is in the retirement home in this scenario /j#me n my friends were talking over discord and came up w the cursed scenario that jason is tims robin in this (apart of the 'redemption' arc#-that he's been nail gunned with in this run. god this run is so weird when it comes to jason. like it doesn't outright dislike him-#-like it clearly does damian and (more obviously) cass steph and duke) but the tone of everything w jason is still bizarre#god. anyway yeah i didn't draw him but please picture grown man tank Jason in the robin undies (ala tt 03 but dare i say better)#also the dick being silly sketch was bc the issue i was reading had damian refer to dick as 'jolly'#specifically like ''unreasonably jolly'' or something like that (god i love when ppl find dicks cheerfulness deeply unsettling hehehe)#and i thought it was so funny. bc damian met dick when we has going through his ''bruce is dead'' depression-#-and STILL thought that dick was extremely unserious. he sees happy dick and is like ''what is wrong w you. genuinely''#but at the same time he loves it#i need to stop reading their batman and robin run so scatteredly (or i can just reread nightwing must die...always a possibility)#anyway yeah 👍 bad sketches be upon you#mine
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doctorsiren · 10 months ago
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Was trying to come up with an outfit for Phoenix for the Mia Fey Trilogy AU because it’s lame if he’s just in the same outfit as Maya
Also funky tattoos because :3 I said so
Bonus: someone on YouTube asked me if I could actually draw him as Doctor Strange, so here we go
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alliwantistowearcomfypants · 8 months ago
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I fucking love that young royals really highlights the fact that no one can fix you but you. They have Wille and Simon trying to work around the horrible things going on together, and it doesn't really work because the biggest problem is that Wille is suffering so much under what the are trying to push through. At the beginning of s3 they have the "as long as I have you" kind of mentality and we see how quickly that falls apart. Having each other is not enough, and it shouldn't be. Wille needs to leave the life that is destroying him. Having simon in that life made it better, but it still was not enough. Simon recognizes that at the end of s3e5. Wille thought that all he needed was Simon because he has been so horribly mistreated by every adult in his life that the moment he is shown some unconditional love, he clings to it. Because, let me remind you, this kid is 17 years old. The ending is so incredibly impactful because Wille is finally choosing himself and his happiness. Not Simon's, not his moms. His. And that is beautiful.
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pafbar · 1 year ago
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made another little animation of the boys, figuring out contrast and also enjoying putting him in no shirt
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theythemmer · 12 days ago
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save me tattooed dan save me
(non tattooed version bc Arms and also this entire piece was inspired by this tweet x so i should probs make the top easier to see)
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alkalinetrios · 29 days ago
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my first fanart of käärijä! [reference]
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masterrainb0w · 2 months ago
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The Divine, The First Divine, Rigour
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dotted-clouds · 1 year ago
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My Favorite Red Vox song with Kingdom Hearts Chain of Memories and Kingdom Hearts 3
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boredlime · 4 months ago
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when you're Probably Not Cis but you present as it anyways because you're too lazy to do anything about it
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turtleblogatlast · 7 months ago
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One of the biggest things that makes me see Leo as trans is absolutely the size of his carapace in comparison to his brothers’.
And I’m not talking about height! I’m specifically looking at his shell here, because when you compare him to the others, particularly Donnie who is nearly the same height as Leo, it’s very clear that Leo’s carapace is much longer in proportion to the rest of his body.
Like - standing side by side, even though Donnie is shorter his carapace ends noticeably higher up than Leo’s does. And I like this not only because it really helps push the idea that Leo could very likely be trans (or intersex!), but it’s also just a fun design difference between them.
(It also lends way to future scenarios of Donnie eventually getting taller than Leo, but sitting down still has Leo being the taller one haha.)
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#trans leonardo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#trans leo#it’s like 4 am and I’m having trans leo feelings again sorry guys#totally get if other people disagree with me on this! but it’s always gonna be my no.1 headcanon fr#his complexion the vibrancy of his colors staying even in adulthood his general demeanor and this? this hc is LOCKED in my brain#plus the times Leo’s depicted in pink white and blue throughout the series like I KNOW it wasn’t on purpose but damn if it doesn’t help#(his nails are also the exact same as his toe nails/claws but I don’t super count this one tbh)#(even though it is TECHNICALLY another point in favor of trans leo)#(mainly because all the boys’ nails are very much more humanoid than turtle)#(just like how their tails aren’t really a factor either since we see them only in their baby forms and never again)#I really like the idea that he was a female red eared slider pre mutation#and Lou Jitsu’s dna paved how his humanoid features came out (aka a more masculine build and voice)#but his turtle features are all very much more in like with a female res#love the thought of rise bros meeting og comic turtle boys and Leo being like wait you guys are res too?? but…you’re not colorful……#one headcanon I have is that - you know the cute chirping and stuff we have the boys do?#I like to think that Leo’s chirping actually sounds more feminine to himself and his bros (so he tends to not do it)#idk I love thinking about this hc a lot and there’s no time like four am to talk about it huh?#future scenario has future Donnie going up to future Leo all smug like ah Nardo how’s the weather down there#and Leo’s all like good *sits down* why don’t you join me :)#Donnie: …*sits and stretches his neck out to be taller still*#Leo calls him a cheater but Donnie calls it ‘making use of his species’s advantages’#but yeah basically for many turtles the case is - bigger carapace? female. smaller carapace? male.#so it’s very interesting to take that knowledge and apply it here#did you know one of the turtles that this rule of thumb DOESNT apply to is alligator snapping turtles? male ones are the bigger ones there!#by a big difference too so Raph’s size makes a LOT of sense
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shalomniscient · 10 days ago
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every day, once a year, yelan takes a day off.
this is written directly into her contract with the tianquan. there are no exceptions, no special arrangements. on this singular day, yelan does not belong to the qixing; on this singular day, her leash and collar are abandoned, and she has free reign to do as she pleases.
what does she do? well, prepare for your anniversary, of course.
she hops out of bed, cleans up, tugs her jacket on and then slips out the door with the clink of her jade bracelet. it’s a clear day, and yelan tilts her head to the sky briefly, letting the golden sunrays warm her face almost like an embrace. you were never really a morning person, but the sun on your skin always suited you. she’d have to drag you out of bed to see it, but it was always well worth your grumbling in the end when you finally cave and offer her a smile which she would then steal with a kiss.
“ugh, yelan—“ you giggled, your hands on her chest gently pushing her back. your bracelet was cool against her skin, and the matching one on her own wrist hummed. she nosed along your jaw, pressing more and more kisses until she reached your neck. playfulness turned into something a little more heated, and her blood sang at the sigh she pulled from your lips. emerald eyes flicked up to you, teasing, challenging, and you managed a wry huff before tangling your fingers in her hair and tugging her back to properly kiss her again. it stung, beautifully, but yelan grinned all the way."
she shakes herself out of the memory, and steps into the busy street. liyue’s morning scene has always been crowded, and she blends into the throng with practiced ease. she follows the flow of the crowd down the wharf until she reaches the shop she’s looking for—a florist, tucked snugly between two other stores on the higher levels of the shopping district.
the owner, a midde-aged woman, looks up from tending to her orchids to smile at her. her eyes crease with familiarity at the sight of yelan as the spy steps into her store, fingers brushing the petals of a few flowers. the woman rounds the counter, and rummages in the storage for a few moments.
“the usual, i take it?” she asks, and yelan nods, leaning against the counter and tapping her fingers over the grainy wood. the shop hasn’t changed much, if at all, since she last came here with you.
you leaned down by a bouquet of white chrysanthemums, lips curving upward into a smile as you breathed in the soft, floral scent. yelan looked curiously over your shoulder, a hand casually resting on your hip. she asked if it was your favorite flower—you nodded, your other hand rising to just as casually cup her face from over your shoulder. “they’re quite pretty, aren’t they?” you hummed, and yelan took a moment to ponder the question. in the end, she said they were nowhere near as pretty as you, and took the light smack you delivered to her shoulder with an easy laugh.
the florist clears her throat, coaxing her out of the memory. yelan recieves the bouquet—white chrysanthemums—with a smile, settling it in the crook of her arm. the woman’s expression is measured, but there’s a slight waver to her tone when she speaks. if yelan really had to name it, it sounds close to… pity.
“yelan—“ she begins, but she only flashes the woman a signature grin, before slipping out the door as quickly as she came. she has other things to get, after all, and the clock is always ticking.
(or maybe her clock stopped ticking a long time ago and all this is just extra. maybe it cracked when the rocks fell and the earth buried—)
she dissolves back into the crowd as she heads to her next destination: wanmin restaurant. she can smell the chili in the air as she makes her way down the street again, a sharpness only wanmin seems to be able to make. when she gets there, xiangling is boisterously calling out orders while her father toils away in the kitchen, with guoba tirelessly maintaining the roaring fire for his wok. when she sees her, xiangling’s grin only widens, and she waves her over enthusiastically.
“miss yelan! welcome, welcome,” the young chef says cheerily. “here for another batch of dried chillies?”
yelan chuckles, shaking her head. “no, not this time. i’m here for a few rice buns. with a sweet filling, preferably.”
“ooh,” xiangling coos, nodding. “are you planning to go on an expedition? rice buns are both portable and satiating.”
“you could say that,” yelan says vaguely. the little chef is right, in a way, since she’ll have to hike a little to get to your spot—but really, it’s because rice buns have always been a comfort food of sorts for you.
“how can you not like them?” you asked defensively as you trudged along with her behind the group. there was a slight smear of filling on the corner of your lip, and your expression scrunched up a little more as she wiped it off. her jade bracelet was cool against your heated cheeks. yelan only shook her head, teasingly remarking that spice was a much greater wake-up call than sweets. you huffed at that, taking another bite of your rice bun. “not all of us are masochists, lan’er,” you grumbled, and yelan laughed softly. her nimble fingers encircled your wrist, tugging you closer so she could take a quick bite of your bun. it was sweet, sweeter than she’d like, but maybe that was because you were there. and somehow, that made it good.
yelan pulls herself out of yet another memory when xiangling deposits the bag of warm rice buns into her hands. they’re freshly steamed, and the scent of warm buns fill her senses. she thanks the chef, and disappears much the same way she came before the young lady can get even so much as a word in. in the back of her mind, she can almost hear you chastise her for it.
(she always hears you in the back of her mind. if not, where else—)
there’s only one thing left on her list, and it’s incense. it’s late in the morning now, so the crowds have thinned out—and without her cover, yelan takes to back alleys and rooftops instead. she sighs, relieved almost, as she slips into the shimmering, reflective cover of hydro, darting like a minnow between buildings like rocks, barely a blur in the eyes of anyone nearby. the secrecy isn’t strictly necessary for what she’s doing now, but she’s been so used to being unseen that being in the open feels… unsafe.
it doesn’t take her that long to reach wangsheng funeral parlor. the young lady running the parlor isn’t in today—instead, it’s her ‘assistant’, the elegant man shrouded in such thick mystery that neither her nor ningguang has been able to pierce. he greets her with a solemn expression, no doubt because director hu has told him the reason for her visit. “incense?” he asks again anyway to confirm, his voice low and soft. yelan nods absently, her nose stinging slightly from the intense scent permeating the parlor.
she watches as the man disappears into the back of the parlor for a moment, before he reappears with a delicately wrapped packet of incense sticks. she slides a pouch of mora his way, which he takes wordlessly. she tucks the packet into her little pocket dimension, then turns on her heel to leave. just as she exits the door, he calls out to her.
“safe travels.”
she doesn’t deign him with a response.
her feet take her out and away from the city, down the familiar path to the bleeding wound in the earth—the chasm. the land goes from valleys to large, curling momuments of rock, carved by the force of a falling star. she feels that familiar tug in her chest, the voice that calls to her, that tells her to forsake the surface as her ancestor once did. she listened to it, once. and—
“go,” you whispered, pushing her away. half of you was buried under rock, and she could only see one of your eyes; the other was forced shut by the blood that trickled down your face. yelan nearly screamed herself hoarse, but you grabbed her face and kissed her. it tasted like salt, and her heart lurched at the wrongness. your kisses had always been sweet. you slipped your bracelet onto her wrist, then pushed her again, and then the earth heaved and groaned, and it was the last she ever saw of you—
she turns her head and rips herself out of the memory and the temptation; she has other, more important places to be today. she has other days to chase down her demons. she skirts the side of the chasm, slowly ascending to the top. she passes by the memorial to the millelith, and leaves a rice bun and a few sticks of incense as an offering. they too, deserve to be remembered after all.
(she wonders if anyone else comes out here to remember them. she wonders who will come when she’s gone for—)
it takes her a while, but eventually, she reaches the highest point in the chasm. the sun has traveled across the sky by this point, the afternoon heat mellowing out into a slightly cooler evening warmth. the sky is alive with shades of gold when she finally stops, drawing to a halt right before a smooth stone, standing upright from the earth like a silent vigil. she kneels before it, producing three sticks on incense and inserting them into the censer before the stone and lighting them. she sets a rice bun on the plate by the stone, and saves one for herself. the bouquet of white chrysanthemums, she lays on top of the stone.
yelan takes a bite of her rice bun, letting the sweetness settle on her tongue, as the floral scent mixes with the incense, filling her lungs and settling on her shoulders. she tilts her head to the sun, and the warmth feels almost like an embrace. and when she closes her eyes, the wind in her hair feels almost like a caress. when she opens them again, she lets them rest on the stone—the headstone, and she offers it a smile.
sitting on the edge of the cliff, your legs swinging, you smiled at her, nearly blindingly bright like the golden hour. your pinkies were twined together, your shoulders flush with hers. there was a bouquet of white chrysanthemums on your lap, and just a few crumbs on the corner of your lips. your voice carried in the wind when you spoke.
“happy anniversary, yelan.”
“happy anniversary, sweetheart,” she whispers. the wind carries her voice as well, and she hopes you hear it, wherever you are now. one day, she’ll join you, but for now she takes another bite of her rice bun and breathes in the scent of incense and chrysanthemums.
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sleepnoises · 8 months ago
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today i volunteered at a historic home gut rehab the local habitat for humanity is doing and got to scooch around in the crawlspace and cut bits of wood and use a nailgun. at one point the Head Guy asked if i knew how to use a table saw and i said "yes but not with confidence" and actually? i do know how to use a table saw with confidence. but confidence that the table saw hates its users and thirsts for blood
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