#I couldnt survive as a tree
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The inherent grief of being a tree. You outlive many of the others in your ecosystems: bugs, birds, beasts. You lose your children (leaves) each winter, having to sacrifice them so you may have enough nutrience. Never being able to leave, to see the world, to grow beyond the reach of your roots.
And the cycle repeats. And repeats. And repeats. Until you eventually wilt and wither yourself, just as you have seen many that made you their home do.
#trees#plants#trees and forests#this started off silly but I made myself a little upset :(#I couldnt survive as a tree#but I love them nonetheless#nature#leaves
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Time Traveller au part 8
Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. Part 4 is here. Part 5 is here. Part 6 is here. Part 7 is here. Time Traveller au masterlist is here. Check out my MASTERLIST for more!
Part 9 is here!
Everything around you warped as you jumped off the cliff. You closed your eyes as you heard Baldwin scream your name in agony, the air whipped around you and you hoped that you returned to your house, hopefully with a soft landing.
You fell onto the hard ground on your arm, breaking it. You screamed before biting your lip to hold it as you realised that you had landed... in a forest.
You pulled out your time machine and read the time and place.
1530. Ottoman empire.
Oh hell no-
You tried to change the time to return to your present world, but the dial buttons were broken and you couldnt do anything but hope it'll work again and return you back to your time.
Blinking away the tears, you clutched your arm and struggled to stand up, groaning in pain. The fall had knocked the air out of you, and made your entire body ache as you staggered towards a tree for support.
This has to be- Baldwin must've cursed me for leaving him.
Fixing your gown, you removed your wedding veil to make a hijab and used the length of it to cover your body like a chaddar. Clutching your broken arm, you began walking. Where? You dont know, but you need to get out of the forest first as you didnt pay much attention to "Man V/S Wild" because the first episode you watched started off with Bear Grylls drinking his own piss and you didnt think you'd ever be in a situation where you would need that kind of skills.
"And I wont." You huffed, walking. Besides, the wild isnt the only thing you need to survive. You're a lone woman in a forest where good samaritans arent the only ones to cross it. And you dont think you have a fighting chance against strangers with a broken limb.
The sun was starting set by the time you made it out of the forest and you saw a small cottage. If it wasnt for the old woman tending to her chickens outside, you wouldnt have approached her. But alas, thirst and exhaustion overtook stranger-danger and you walked upto her.
"W... water?" You croaked in Turkish, sweat dripping down your face as you clutched your arm. Yes, you learnt the language as a child when there was no cable and the only place you and your brother could watch TV was at your Turkish neighbours house. Granted, all they ever played was soap dramas, but hey- your family was poor and you had to make do.
The old lady's eyes widened at your state and she rushed inside to get water. By the time she came out with her husband, you had passed out.
-
When you came to, you were lying in bed while the couple fretted over you. It turned out that the old man used to be a physician, so he popped your broken arm back in place and immobilised it expertly so that it allows for optimal healing of the bone. The old lady made you some food and thats when they asked what happened.
"I fell from a tree." You took a bite of the warm meal. "I was hiding there from some slave owners. I lost my parents a few days ago and when they found out that I was alone... they wanted to take me and sell me to the palace." Lying isnt that hard for you when you have so many true events to back you up.
The old couple pitied you and offered you their home. "You could stay here for as long as you'd like. We dont mind. In fact, we'd enjoy the company." You smiled gratefully. As days passed, you began helping them around the house with chores. They were lonely and they enjoyed having you around. You found out that they used to have a daughter but she was one day taken by the Janissaries (members of the elite infantry units that formed the Ottoman Sultan's household troops) to make her part of the harem and they never got to see her again.
It had been a month since you'd been living here. Your machine hadnt worked again and you didnt have the tools at hand to start working on it. You did accompany the old man to the town when he'd go get groceries, but you didnt risk finding a scholar or craftman to help you. No, the moment your eyes landed on the Topkapi palace at the other side of town, you had turned on your heel and already started making your way back to the cottage. As tempting as it was to see just how the sultans were, you were not going to try your luck by being trapped in that castle that had weird politics. Everyone was everyone's enemy- the heirs, the wives, the concubines, the eunuchs- everyone.
You and the old man had just returned from the town and you were trying to calm him down. Apparently, he got into a heated argument with the shopkeeper who was quite influential and lent people money, but he asked for high interest rates on return.
"I'll help you. Maybe I can find some work-" you offered but the old man absolutely refused. He didnt want you to leaving the cottage, especially not alone to go work with these scummy people he did not trust.
You smiled sadly. Perhaps you reminded him of his daughter.
"He's always been like this, but when Ayla was taken, he started loathing the sultan. How can you just break a family like that?" The old lady said as she stirred the pot. You hummed as you set the table, when the old man suddenly burst through the door, looking alarmed.
"Dear? Whats wrong?" The old lady walked up to him. He was looking at you.
"Janissaries- they're here." He said with dread. "The merchant- he must've sent them here! Quick, hide Y/n!" The old lady nodded in agreement as they began pushing you. The old man lifted up a wooden panel from the floor, revealing a small compartment.
"Hide in there and dont make a sound!" They said as they covered the space back with the wooden panel. You held your breath as you peeked through the slits in between the panels.
Just a few moments later, 5 men in red uniforms and swords resting on their sides, brazenly walked in.
Janissaries.
"Where's the girl?" One of them asked as the others looked around.
"What girl?" The old man asked as he pulled his wife closer to him.
"Dont pretend you dont know. We saw you walking in the market with a girl. Where's she?"
"She left. Her parents took her back. What do you want from her?" The old man replied.
The Janissaries kept looking around, going through rooms to find you.
"You havent paid your loan back. We're just here to take her while you make arrangements for your loan."
"I told you she's gone. And I told the merchant I already paid off his loan. With interest."
"Yes, but the interest increased last week. You didnt pay that."
"What does it concern you? You work for the sultan, not the merchant!"
"The merchant is friends with me, a Janissarie. If he's bothered, then I'm bothered. And if I'm bothered, then so is the sultan. Now, hurry up and tell me where she is."
"She's gone-" the old man was cut off by a punch.
You gasped, but quickly covered your mouth as the Janissarie's head snapped in your direction. He couldnt see you, but you could see him.
The old lady was crying now as she tended to her husband on the ground. The Janissaire looked back at her.
"If you dont tell me where she is right now, you will become a widow." He threatened her.
The old lady couldnt say anything as she kept on crying, but she made the mistake of looking at the wooden panel you were hiding under. That was enough of for the armed men to figure out.
They pulled the panel away and there you were, looking up at them with fear. They didnt have to communicate as they pulled you out and threw you over his shoulder, making their way out to their horses.
The old couple begged them to not take you away, but despite your best efforts to break free, you never stood a chance.
"Let me go-" You were silenced with a hard slap. The Janissarie looked at you.
"I will only say this once. I am taking you to the palace. If you make a single sound, I will slit your throat right then and there. If you run, I will behave very badly with you. Nod if you understand."
-
Some time later, you had been dragged into the Topkapi Palace. The guards talked amongst themselves about you, as if you're deaf.
"We should just sell her to the slave traders." One said.
"Or we could give her to the merchant and he can pay us more than the slave traders." Another said.
"We'll see who will pay the higher price for her. After she spends the night with me." Your eyes almost popped out of your socket.
The creep laughed as he yanked you close by the wrist. "Maybe I'll keep you permanently, tied to my bed-"
Allah, now would be a great time for the time machine to work. I dont care if I disappear before their eyes, I cant stay here-
"Well well well, what do we have here?" The Janissaries all straightened up at the new voice. "Bothering another woman of the harem? After you were almost beheaded the last time you stared at one with your pig ugly eyes?"
"Baris Agha, she is not part of the harem-"
"She became property of the sultan the moment you brought her in the palace." The man snapped at them as he stepped in front of you. Judging from his clothes and his effeminate mannerisms, you figured he was a eunuch. "Lets take a look, hm?" He gripped your chin roughly and tilted your face from side to side, a grimace appearing on his face.
"Not pretty enough to be a concubine. Tch. Maid it is."
Bitch.
"Baris Agha, you cant just take her from us-"
"Need I remind you of the woman from the sultan's war winnings you lot lost because you were drunk? I see, I should go and remind sultan of that." At that, the Janissaries scowled but kept quiet.
"Now stop standing there like buffoons. Go to your posts. And you-" Baris Agha gave you a pointed look. "You dont look from around here, but I'm going to assume that since you havent screamed or tried to run off, you understand what I'm saying, hm?" You gave a nod. Baris Agha rolled his eyes before turning on his heel, beckoning you to follow him with his index finger. "Hurry along. We have to train you for the feast tonight. A few servants died of smallpox, so we're a little short staffed."
You were lead to a hamam (a common bath area). Baris Agha was talking to the old lady standing outside. "She is the new maid. Have her prepared for tonight, hm?" He told the lady who ushered you in.
Baris Agha waited outside the hamam as he heard you shriek and yell, but he was unfazed. Everytime a new girl is brought here, she has to go through the same thing. A hot ,steaming bath, an invasive medical check up, a little degradation, nothing out of the norm. It is necessary to do this because if you are to serve the royal family, it wont bode well for you to be carrying any diseases or... any pride.
-
"You're lucky I'm short on servants or else I would've thrown you into the sea because I would never wish anyone to see the gait of a cow." He scolded you during your "maid training".
You bit your lip to stop the curses from slipping. You cant risk pissing off anyone here until you can find a way out, or your machine works. You've read details about the life in Ottoman empire, and sure majority of them were muslims, but they still had egos as large as Mount Everest.
"Baris Agha! Baris Agha!' A servant came running upto him. "A fight broke out in the harem! The concubines- ah! Its a mess!" He flailed his hands around in exasperation.
Baris's eyes widened before scowling. "I'll kill them all today! I swear! These women are more trouble than they're worth for!" He grumbled before looking at you.
"Keep moping, I'll come back. Dont do anything stupid or I will make you dig your grave!" He threatened before leaving with the servant.
As soon as he was out of sight, you considered running. But you dont know your way around this maze of a palace, and you dont wish to run into Baris Agha when you're trying to find your way out of these hallways. You need to be careful and find a way out. So, you slowly made your way towards the other end of the corridor while mopping (as an excuse when Baris returns and asks where'd you go) and peeked around the corners. When you found no one, you slowly walked down one end of the hall where you saw a door at the end while the right side of the hall overlooked the palace grounds and the other side of the hall had no doors but had these wooden windows that were shut so you couldnt see through them. You reached the door and opened it slowly, expecting another hallway, but instead you were in a room. Not exactly a bedroom, since you didnt spot a bed, but perhaps a sitting room? Or maybe a study room, judging from the desk in the corner. In the center of the room, there was a huge pile covered by a purple silk cloth. This couldnt possibly be a storage room, right? You walked upto the pile and pulled the cloth off it, revealing an amalgam of... fine things. There were fancy vases, some antiques, swords and a few paintings.
The paintings were stacked one upon the other, and you took a look at the first one- it was Arabic calligraphy. The background was beige with the calligraphy in beautiful black ink. And you recognised the words written. Its Ayat ul Kursi, from Surah Baqrah in Quran. The words were written so elegantly, however as you read the verse, you spotted an error. It was a minor one, but there was a dot missing from one of the letters and now it would be misspelled and the words wont make sense.
You could just walk away. You should walk away. Find a way out. This is not your mess. And this should not bother you.
"If you see something wrong, then you should do everything in your abilities to correct it. Don't be selfish, Y/n." Your brother's voice rung in your ears.
With a sigh, you walked towards the desk and picked up the the quill pen dipped in ink.
I'm only doing this because this painting may one day be passed onto the future generations. Cant have them making the same mistakes. You walked back to the painting. This is the word of Allah. I cant just ignore the mistake.
You placed the 3 foot canvas on the desk and carefully placed the dot to correct the mistake. You held your breath the entire time to prevent your hand from shaking. When you were done, you breathed and backed away.
"What are you doing?" You froze. This- this is not Baris Agha's voice. No, it- it held too much authority.
"I asked you- what are you doing?!" The voice boomed.
"I- I-"
"Turn around." You slowly did and you looked at the man in dark robes in front of you. He was neither a servant, nor a Janissaries. You looked at the fury in his grey eyes, and then your eyes travelled upto his head.
You dropped into a bow, head low.
"I- I apologise, sultan!" Of fucking course! Why wouldnt a sultan- THE SULTAN SULEIMAN, be the one to catch you in the act.
This is it. This is the day I die. He will have my head cut off-
"I asked you, what are you doing?" He asked again. "Who are you?"
"I- I was... I was fixing an error, your majesty." You gulped, head still down. "I am- I am a new servant, sultan. I- I did not know this was your room- I was- I got lost-"
"What mistake?" He cut you off. "Rise. And show me the mistake."
You slowly rose up, though you kept your eyes casted down. You turned back to the painting as he walked up next to you, and you raised your shaking hand to point the area where the ink was still wet.
"The... the dot was missing from this letter. It was spelling mistake. I... I couldnt just leave it... in good conscience." You explained in a small voice.
There was complete silence for the next few minutes. Is this the part where you should start begging him to spare your life? Or should you keep your mouth shut and hope he gives you a less painful punishment?
"Bring the next painting." He commanded without taking his eyes off the current one. You picked up the next canvas and it also had Arabic calligraphy. With his permission, you placed it on the desk as well.
"Well?" He looked at you and you stared back at his grey eyes in confusion. "Check for errors."
You looked back at the painting, another Quranic verse from Surah Rahman. And you spotted the error right away. Again a small mistake, but still if the diacritical marks are not present, then the pronunciation will be wrong.
"Here. And here as well." You pointed out with your finger. He nodded at you to fix it. This time it was much harder for you to stop your hand from shaking, but fortunately, you did.
"Now recite it." You looked at him in surprise. Recite it? You cant stop your hand from shaking with him looking at you and he expects you to recite it out loud in front of him?!
What kind of test is this? And if I mess up, will he have me killed? Oh God, he's going to kill me.
Closing your eyes to stop the tears from spilling, you began to recite Surah Rahman.
Just pretend he's not here, pretend your brother is in front of you and you're reciting Quran to him like you did as kids. Its normal, its just you and Qasim. You and your brother.
You opened your eyes when you were finished. Suleiman was looking at you... shocked.
"That was... my goodness. That was mesmerising." The sultan praised you once he overcame his shock. "And you recited it all from memory. Are you a hafidha?" (someone who has memorised the Quran)
You nodded. The sultan looked even more surprise. He's never heard of women memorising the Quran in his lifetime, and you? You look so young, just in your 20s. Did you really learn the Quran with such perfect recitation?
"How? Who was your teacher?"
"My brother." Which was true. Qasim, your older brother memorised the Quran when he was very young. Your parents sent him to the local mosque to learn and since he was blessed with eidetic memory, things werent hard for him.
You, on the other hand, were not blessed with photographic memory. You werent gifted like Qasim, and since he's always been the shining star, the all rounder, he was your competitor by nature. So while your parents didnt send you to the local mosque to memorise Quran because you're "too young", you made Qasim teach it to you.
He was more than happy to. Qasim, just like his name, was always the "generous one". The one who shares. He's the older brother, the provider. You're the younger sister, the competitive brat. Together, you two made a great duo. Qasim's recitation was far better than yours. His voice brought comfort to the soul.
Once you were able to memorise Quran, you and Qasim would often participate in those Islamic trivia and competitions which would often have some cash prize at the end. And since money was tight at home, you'd both participate and win many such prizes.
"And where's your brother?" "Dead. My family is dead." Well its not like he can go and confirm your story. "I was brought here by the Janisarries. They planned to sell me to slave traders. Then Baris Agha came and made me a servant, saying I belong to the sultan now. He gave me a mop and I was cleaning and then I found my way here..." You explained your situation further, hoping he'd take pity and let you go.
"What's your name?" The sultan asked very calmly.
"... Y/n."
"Y/n." He tested the name. "How would you like a job?"
"I- I'm not a good servant, ask Baris Agha. He'll testify-"
"Not as a maid. As a... teacher."
"Teacher?"
"Mhm. Quran teacher. Teach my daughter Mihirmah how to recite, if not memorise it as well as you, hm?"
"I-" you paused. You need to word this out carefully. "I'm honoured that you considered me for this position, your majesty, but surely, there might be someone else more suitable for this job."
He shook his head. "They're all men. I think if my daughter could have you as a role model, she might be inspired to learn."
"I... I have to go home-"
"Home? To who? You have no family." Of course, your lie backfires.
Seeing your hesitance, he sighs. "Look, you're not a slave here, Y/n. No Muslim in my empire is, so I wont force you to stay here but I think it would be safer for you. A young girl in her prime, living alone in this harsh world- you know just as well of the dangers. Today my Janissaries brought you here, and I will deal with them. But tomorrow, someone else might take advantage of the fact that you have no one to rely on."
You remained silent. He was... right. But-
"If you were to stay here and be Mihirmah's teacher, then I give you my word- no harm shall befall you. You will be under my protection."
Your time machine hasnt shown any signs of working yet, and you dont think you can stay hidden in this empire and avoid people for long, so-
"I accept."
Suleiman smiled. "Good. I think the ink is dry now. Place them back with the pile." You picked up the canvases and brought them back to his collection. As you were placing them down, you noticed the canvas on the bottom, the one you never picked up.
Your face paled.
-
"Sultana, please focus-" you were trying to get the young princess's attention, which you now realise was a feat in itself and exactly why Sultan Suleiman asked you to teach her.
"No." Mihirmah said. You took a deep breath. She has no interest in reading the Quran, how are you supposed to make her learn a few verses?
She was the Sultan's only daughter, so she was spoiled to the core. Just 19 years old, with high cheek bones, blemish free skin, her ash brown hair that shone, she was the epitome of beauty and the apple of her father's eye. You'd just love to yank her by the hair or smack her with a ruler to make her focus but you also would like to get out of here alive.
"You shouldn't use violence when it comes to Islam. It'll only drive the believers away." You heard Qasim's voice in the back of your head. "I never had to discipline you with hand to make you memorise. If I can teach you, then so can you." He had a warm smile on his face.
But I'm not you, Qasim. I dont have the patience of a saint.
"Alright, sultana." You closed the Quran with a sigh and clasped your hands. "What do you want to do?"
Mihirmah grinned, feeling victorious over you giving up so quickly. "I want you to tell my father that I gave my best in trying to learn this but you dont have the time or skill to teach me. Tell him that you think it might be best for me to take break from learning Quran so that I can regain my focus." She said as she crossed her arms over chest.
"No."
Her smile faltered. "No?"
"No." You confirmed, staring at her dead serious. "I do have the time and skill to teach you the Quran. Why should I lie about myself for your incompetency?"
Her eyes widened before narrowing. "Who do you think you're talking to?"
"Who do you think you're talking to?" You asked, collecting your things. "I am not your slave or servant to order around. Your father, the sultan, hired me for a job. I'm the teacher, you're the student and at this moment, I have authority over you."
You stood up and looked down at her with no expression. "I was told the young princess was fearless and as strong as her brothers. I now see they were wrong. If you dont wish to learn, then have the guts to tell your father."
As you turned around to leave, you were immediately thrown against the wall, making you bang your head against it. Enough. You're done playing nice.
Sorry Qasim, but some people need violence-
You were turned around and slammed against the wall. You were about to yell at her when you felt something sharp press against your throat.
Mihirmah's eyes were full of fury. "You do not get to talk to me that way-!" "Is that an Omani khanjar?" You looked at her silver dagger.
Mihirmah's rage was replaced by surprise. "You... you know about it?"
You scoffed, insulted. "I'd be a fool not to notice it."
She titled her head at you, an amusing glint in her eyes.
-
"Oh my- you even have the pugio! How did you get it?" You were in complete awe at Mihirmah's large collection of daggers and swords.
Mihirmah beamed. "My brother got it for me on his recent conquest. He got so much stuff in the war prize for dad, but they let me pick first. Mustafa had brought dad some antiques, gems, paintings-" your heart sank at her words.
So that painting... it was from the spoils of war?
The painting that you saw earlier when you were putting back the canvases- it was a portrait. Of you. The same portrait that Baldwin had commissioned for you. The painting that survived over 400 years, except for the lower part of your face that was smudged and faded.
Suleiman looked over your shoulder as you stared at the portrait. "Mustafa found this in a church during the war. The locals claimed that the portrait belonged to some king who lost the love of his life. Hm. Seems like he missed her too much." He explained, tracing his fingers over the smudged area of the painting, and you wondered what Baldwin had done to make the area so faded.
You were glad that you had drawn your chaddar over your head and kept your face down or else you're almost certain the sultan would've recognised the resemblance between you and the portrait. After you'd left him, you immediately decided to wear a niqaab and cover your face to prevent anyone from recognising you as the muse from the painting.
"Y/n." You were snapped out of your thoughts. Mihirmah raised a brow at you. "So... how do you know about the daggers? You dont look like... well, you know."
Should you even be surprised at how condescending she is? Mihirmah may be the sultan's only daughter, but you were also the only daughter AND the youngest child of your family.
You can be just as bitchy.
"What? Just because I'm not a princess, I cant know about daggers?" You scoffed, looking back at her collection on the table.
Mihirmah's lips quirked. "Well, how do you know then?"
My cousin took me to the forensic musuem at his medical college and I was so mesmerised by all the murder weapons there, including the daggers, that I spent an embarrassing amount of time researching about each type of blade which was interesting for me because I am a historian.
"My dad was a blacksmith." He was not. Your father was a pharmacist. "I used to watch him make different types of blades and swords. Travellers would often stop by and let him sharpen their blades, and thats how I know about different kinds of blades."
She nodded, satisfied with your explanation. "You know your blades... but do you know how to fight with them?"
"No, sultana. I am just a lowly peasant who does not have to face the troubles of warding off potential suitors and princes like you." Your voice dripped with sarcasm.
When she didnt reply, you looked up at her and saw the evil glint in her eyes.
"What?"
Her smile widened. "I have a proposal that would benefit the both of us."
You stared at her in confusion for a few moments before understanding what she meant.
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No-"
-
You were flipped onto the carpeted ground with Mihirma pinning your arms with her knees, pressing the dagger against your neck.
"Anddddd you're dead." She smiled victoriously above you before getting off you and helping you up. You coughed to catch your breath and scowled at her. "I should tell the sultan about how you beat up your teacher."
Mihirmah chuckled. "I am not beating you up. I am teaching you how to fight, and dad would approve that I teach a young women how to defend herself." "But I dont want to learn how to fight." "And I dont want to learn Quran. But if I have to do that, then you can at least do this so that you know just how difficult it is for me to learn the verses."
You adjusted your veil and glared at her. "Cant you find someone else to be your sparring buddy?"
"No. I like you. You dont seem to be too afraid of me and you stand your ground." She admitted before looking at you fussing over your niqaab. "You know you can take that off around me? People dont burst into my room without knocking, so feel free to take that off."
You contemplate for a moment. It is a little hot in here, and you're sweating like a pig after that knock down.
You remove your veil, but keep the scarf over your head and take a seat. You felt her eyes on you, but you didnt look at her as you opened the Quran.
"What are you staring at?"
Mihirmah sat down beside you as you finally looked at the gleam in her eyes. "What?" You asked again.
"Nothing. I just thought you'd be... prettier."
You couldn't help the sound of disbelief that left from your lips.
This cun-
"Well, I'm so sorry sultana that you had to witness the ugliness of my face with your precious eyes that are only worthy of seeing pretty things. My sultana, just say the word and I'd sew pearls into my skin for your pleasure, or I could always just-" you pick up your veil to cover your face again, but Mihirmah's hand caught your wrist and she was giggling.
"You're easy to tick off." She chuckled. "I was only kidding. You look... alright."
You feigned a smile. "Well, how will I ever repay that priceless compliment?" You rolled your eyes as she laughed again.
"Now that we're done with your entertainment, lets start our lesson for today."
-
Its been a week since you arrived in Topkapi palace. You had been given a room in the harem with the concubines because- well they didnt have quarters for religion teachers, so here you were.
The room was small but adequate for you. Nothing fancy but you're grateful for that. Dont want these concubines seeing you as a threat or something.
You groaned as the servant kneaded your shoulders. You were currently getting a massage from a girl you had befriended. Your muscles were sore from the all the times Mihirmah had flipped you over or slammed you against the wall. You were sure you were gonna have numerous bruises by the time she memorised one surah.
Your deep tissue massage was interrupted by Baris Agha bursting through your door. He shot you a glare before pushing the girl away from you.
"If your majesty is done with her rub down, would you care to grace us with your mighty presence?" He mocked. You opened your eyes and sighed.
"Hello to you too, Baris Agha." You sat up. "What do you want?"
"The sultana has demanded your presence."
"I already gave the sultana her lesson today." You mumbled before going to lie back down but Baris Agha grabbed your shoulder painfully to haul you up.
"That was Mihirmah sultana. Your presence is required by her mother, Hurrem sultana!" He gritted out.
Hurrem sultana? "Why?" You asked, fixing your niqaab over your face.
"Why? Why? Who do you think you're to be asking questions? Make haste!" He yelled at you before pushing you out of the room.
You followed behind him as he told you how to courtesy in front of her and not to do this or that, but you were focused on why you'd been called by the sultana? And that too, at dinner time? Wouldnt she be busy with her family?
Finally, you reached her chambers. Baris Agha entered first and you followed closely behind him, falling into a deep courtesy right after him.
"My Sultana, this is Hatun (lady) Y/n, Mihirmah's sultana's teacher." Baris Agha introduced you.
"Rise." You heard her say and you dared to peek at her and your breath was caught.
If Mihirmah was the epitome of beauty, then Hurrem sultana was something entirely out of this world. Red hair that sat in a intricate bun atop with a crown, milky white skin that had no marks, and those radiant green eyes that shone just as bright as the iconic emerald ring on her finger.
If you didnt know the dates, you wouldnt have guessed her to be a day over 40. But she was well in her 50s, and Allah... were you envious of Turkish beauty.
Truly, this was not a place for an insecure person to be around. You probably did stick out like a sore thumb among the bewitching beauties.
Baris Agha elbowed you to make you avert your gaze, and thats when you spotted Mihirmah sitting beside her looking sheepish.
"So, you've been the one who Mihirmah has been spending so much time with?" She looked at you pointedly.
So much time?
You looked at Mihirmah who was avoiding your gaze. You looked back at the sultana. "Well? Tell me how much my daughter has learned?"
How much? She hasnt been able to memorise a single surah.
You cleared your throat and spoke carefully. "Sultana, its a gradual process-"
"Surely, she must've memorised something? After all, thats why she's been refusing to spend time embroidering or looking at her proposals."
"Mom-" Mihirmah tried but was silenced by a look from her mother.
Hurrem looked back at you. "So, Hatun Y/n, do you have something to say? Or has my daughter been lying to me about spending time with you?"
You looked at Mihirmah who was looking at you with pleading eyes and you connected the dots. Mihirmah has lied to her mother about spending her time with you, and now wants you to lie for her as well.
If you do, Mihirmah might be safe but you risk getting caught. If you dont lie, Mihirmah gets in trouble, but so will you. And not just at Mihirmah's hands, because she will hurt you for snitching, but you suspect that she will twist more lies and lead you into more trouble with both her mother and father.
What to do?
"Mihirmah sultana is... a good student. The best one I've had so far." Well, you werent lying. She was your first student so technically she had no competition. "Everyone has a different pace of learning, my sultana. But its not about how fast you learn, its how much you learn. I'd prefer to take years to learn the surahs over not understanding the meaning behind them, the lessons hidden in them."
Yes, this is a safe answer. "Mihirmah sultana has shown great interest in reading the Quran. She listens very attentively to the translations." After bribing her with duels.
"I have no doubt that she will one day be a good Quran student. As long as she never stops reading it, maintains her connection with the Holy Book and Allah. The process of learning never ends."
Hurrem's calculated eyes read you. She gave a single nod. "Very well, Hatun Y/n. If you say so." Ah finally. Disaster avoided, and now Mihirmah owes me for lying-
"Mihirmah, you will recite the surah Hatun Y/n taught you tomorrow at dinner. Your father and I will be very pleased with your progress." Hurrem stated, making both your and Mihirmah's eyes widen because her mother knows her daughter well. She knows Mihirmah is not prepared and challenged her like this so that she can get rid of you as well, allowing the queen to focus on finding a suitable proposal for her daughter.
"Mother-"
"Mihirmah, go and sleep now. I dont think you need to prepare anymore for tomorrow, as you have told me just how great of teacher Hatun Y/n is." Hurrem smiled cunningly. Of course, she'd lay traps for her own daughter if it meant she could prove a point.
You and Mihirmah left the sultana's chambers together before walking to the princess's chambers.
"Thank you, Y/n for saving me!" Mihirmah said as soon as you two entered her room. She turned around to look at you, only to find you out on her balcony.
"Y/n? What are you doing there?" She walked up behind you.
You looked over your shoulder. "Hm? Oh, I'm just thinking if I should jump to my death from here or ask Baris Agha to get me poison. What do you suggest?"
"Y/n!" She pulled you away from the balcony. "What's wrong with you?"
"What's wrong with me? Whats wrong with you?!" You yanked your arm out of her grip. "Why did you lie to Hurrem sultana that you've been spending day and night studying with me when you damn well know that you have the attention span of a fish?!"
Mihirmah pouted. "Well, I had to come up with an excuse as to why I didnt want to do needle work or look at suitors... how was I supposed to know she'd bring you in for questioning?"
Narrowing your eyes at her, you gritted out. "You should've just told her that you'd rather spend the time beating up servants and throwing knives at pillows for target practise!"
She crossed her arms and huffed. "What, are you mad at me?"
You chuckled humourlessly. "Oh no. No no- how dare I? Why would I be mad at you for being the reason your parents will send me to the gallows? Or would they rather chop off my head?"
She shook her head. "No, I wont.... I wont let them do that." Mihirmah sighed. "I'll tell them the truth tomorrow, come clean."
"Oh great. So then you'll be safe from trouble but I'll still be dead because I LIED to the sultana! Thanks a lot!" You exclaimed.
"Well, then what do you suggest we do?!" Mihirmah was getting short tempered now.
You dragged your hands over your cheeks before heaving a sigh. "The only thing we can do. Make you memorise a surah." You held up a hand before Mihirmah could speak. "I'm not kidding. And... I have a plan. Just... you'll need to stay awake the entire night."
-
"Mihirmah- Mihirmah, wake up." You nudge the sleeping princess, awake. Its been 7 hours into your all nighter and Mihirmah's been asleep for 2 of them. You heard her groan from her position, head resting on the table.
"Mihirmah!" You called her harshly, shaking her shoulder. She smacked your hand away and continued to rest.
Thats it, I'm going to yank your hair-
The door opened making you turn. A young man was standing there, his eyes landing on Mihirmah and then at you.
"Mihirmah?" He called her name gently, but the girl who you'd been expecting to be dead asleep suddenly jumped up at his voice.
"Mehmed?!" Her eyes sparkled before getting up and jumping into his arms, just as you turned your head away and picked up your veil to wear.
Sehzade (prince) Mehmed, second son of Sultan Suleiman, first son of Hurrem. The 24 year old prince hugged his sister and spun her around, the two siblings laughing. Though you already know of his fate- the prince will die young. He will not inherit the throne.
"When did you come back from Manisa?!" Mihirmah asked him.
He pecked her forehead. "Just now. I made my way straight here and I was expecting you to be asleep, but.... what exactly is it that you're doing?" Mehmed asked, and Mihirmah followed his gaze to you.
"Ah. This is Y/n, she's my Quran teacher. I have to memorise a surah and recite it at dinner." She explained.
He raised a brow. "Since when did you have such an interest? Let me guess- father?" She scrunched her nose and nodded. "Forget about that, tell me about your adventures! Come on-" You cleared your throat loudly, making both siblings look at you.
"What?" Mihirmah asked.
"Sultana, we still have to prepare for tonight." You said as gently as you could without popping a vessel in your head.
Mihirmah waved you off. "No need! I've already memorised the surah! I'm all prepared-"
"Sultana." You cut her off. "Memorising is one thing... reciting it properly is another. Your parents will be expecting perfection which-with all due respect, you are nowhere near it."
There was deafening silence in the room as you and Mihirmah stared each other down, neither woman backing away.
"Y/n, I said I'm done for tonight. That means, I. Am. Done." Mihirmah emphasised.
"I'm the teacher and I took responsibility over this matter in front of the Sultan and Sultana. I decide when you. Are. Done." You replied back in the same tone, hands folded in front of you.
I am not letting a spoiled brat ruin my life.
Mehmed looked at the two of you, confusion clouding his mind. Mihirmah doesnt let anyone talk to her this way and get away with it. Usually by now, you wouldve been thrown into the dungeons for torture. He knows his sister and her crazy tendencies, so he doesnt understand why she's putting up with this.
There is something deeper going on here.
"Both of you, stand down." You both broke off the intense stare off and looked at Mehmed. Clasping Mihirmah's hand, he pulled her to the ottomans and sat down beside her, gesturing you to sit down on the floor pillow.
"Now, tell me what is going on?"
After explaining the mess Mihirmah had dragged you two in, Mehmed hummed.
"Mihirmah." He looked at his sister. "It doesnt matter if Y/n told the truth or the lie to mom, she'd be in trouble either way. But there is only one way you wont be in trouble, and that is to pass this test. Prove mom wrong. You can do it- hey, look at me." He cupped Mihirmah's cheeks. "I know you can do it. And to show you my support, I will stay by your side the entire time. Now, lets practice, hm?"
-
You and Mehmed left Mihirmah's room at 8 in the morning, letting her to catch some shut eye.
You mutely yawned under your niqaab, though your back wasnt as silent when you cracked it. You heard Mehmed chuckle behind you, and you quickly composed yourself.
"My sister wore you out, huh?" He had a tired smile on his lips, eyes drooping but still a glint of amusement.
"Of course not, sehzade." You noticed the small cut on the outer end of his left brow. He had ash brown hair, similar to Mihirmah's. If you didnt know better, you'd think the two were twins with how much they resembled. Thick lips, strong nose, high cheek bones.
"You shouldn't lie to a prince, you know?" He rubbed his eyes. "Mihirmah... she is a little-" Annoying? Bitchy? Selfish? "-headstrong, but she's always been this way. Dont take it to heart. She is a good person, you just need to be patient with her."
You stayed quiet as he spoke. What could you really say? Ah no, your sister is actually just a spoiled brat and needs a kicking down?
"Mihirmah likes you, Y/n. It is a lot to ask but... I would appreciate it if you would continue to have her back."
"As you wish, sehzade."
Mehmet gave you one last smile before leaving. "Get some sleep, Y/n."
You turned around and started making your way back towards the harem to your chambers, your mind occupied by the thoughts of the painting Baldwin had made.
I need to destroy it. You decided. If it has survived 400 years, it might survive another 400, and I dont want to take the risk of it appearing in a museum one day.
You're walking down the hall, trying to remember which room it was you had found the paintings in when suddenly you're yanked to a corner.
"hey-!"You're silenced by a hand covering your mouth. A woman was holding you.
"Shh. Its fine. I just want to talk." She pulled her hand away, making you take a huge gulp of air. "What? You cant say hello like a normal person?" You spat at her. She narrowed her eyes at you. "Watch your tone. I'm Gul, the sultana's lady-in-waiting." Or just personal servant. You thought. Wait, sultana?
"Hurrem sultana-" "No, Mahidevran sultana, the first wife of Sultan Suleiman and the one you should always obey and respect. Now come along, she wishes to talk to you." She began pulling you down the corridor.
"Talk to me about what?" She didnt answer you.
Mahidevran sultana, the first wife of the sultan who eventually fells out of his favour when Hurrem arrives. She was able to give birth to one son- sehzade Mustafa, the eldest heir of the sultan, who will also not inherit the throne and will be executed on the orders of his father.
You can only guess how protective Mahidevran would be of both her son and the throne, seeing as she only has one child compared to Hurrem sultana's five, four of which are male heirs. And she has every reason to be threatened too because Hurrem has done what has never been done before.
Hurrem sultana was a non muslim woman captured from Crimea, sold as a slave in Constantinople, became a concubine in the harem and slowly rose to the ranks to be Suleiman's favourite, and later, become his legal wife. She bore majority of his sons, and broke the traditional rule of. "one imperial concubine - one son", was beaten up by Mahidevran which angered Suleiman, earned the title of Haseki Sultana (which means "favourite") and it shocked everyone because never before was a slave elevated to the level of becoming the legal wife of the sultan.
Hurrem sultana was force to be reckoned with. And as history shows, Hurrem would be the victorious one.
Finally reaching the sultana's chambers, you were pushed in by Gul. You immeadiately fell into a courtesy, not wanting to anger the sultana.
"So... who exactly are you?" You looked up, brows knitting in confusion at her question. Mahidevran was sitting on her ottoman, her face expressionless as she stared you down. She was beautiful, her features sharp and slim, collar bones prominent along with her long neck, she looked like a supermodel. But... Hurrem was prettier.
"I- I'm Y/n." You answered her, but she didnt look satisfied. "What is your relation with Hurrem? Are you sleeping with her son, Mehmed?"
"I- I beg your pardon?" You stammered. She stood up and strode to you, making you back up.
"Do not lie to me, girl. My servants saw you entering Hurrem's chambers yesterday, and leaving with Mehmed today."
"Its not what it looks like, sultana." You shook your head. "I am not a concubine and I am not sleeping with anyone! Sultan Suleiman hired me to teach Mihirmah sultana Quran."
"That doesnt explain why you were with Hurrem or Mehmed."
"Hurrem sultana wanted to know how far her daughter has progressed in her lessons and asked Mihirmah to recite a surah at dinner to prove that she's been studying. Sehzade Mehmed and I were with Mihirmah sultana all night helping her prepare for tonight." You explained the situation and Mahidevran stared at you with no expression. For a moment, you thought she didnt believe you but then her lips quirked up.
"Dinner, you say?" You gave a hesitant nod. "Very well, off you go."
As soon as you were out of the room, you leaned against the wall and placed a hand over your chest, feeling your rapidly beating heart. Mahidevran may not be as pretty as Hurrem, but she was definitely scarier. You really did think she was going to torture you.
Weakly, you began walking again. You want to go back to your room and sleep off the headache that was forming, but you still have the stupid portrait to destroy.
Where the hell was that stupid room?
After an hour or so of roaming around and avoiding Baris Agha because you dont have it in you to put up with insults, you finally found the room. You softly knocked on the door first, checking if the sultan or someone else was in the room. When no one answered, you slowly opened the door and looked around. No one was there.
You walked inside and spotted the pile still there, and when you removed the silk off it, everything was still there- untouched, including your portrait.
"What are you doing?"
Second time. You've been caught in here for the second time.
Baldwin has to have cast a curse on you. There is no other explanation for such badluck.
You turned around, praying it was Baris Agha or anyone else, just not the sultan.
As soon as you spotted the royal turban, you could hear Baldwin laughing in the back of your head.
You bowed. "Sehazade- I-"
He looked older than Mehmed, so your best guess was that this was Mustafa.
"I asked, what you were doing with my war loot?" So, it is Mustafa. Mihirmah did say he went on a conquest recently.
"I was-" you cleared your throat. "I was merely admiring the calligraphy."
He tilted his head to look behind you. "There's no calligraphy on the portrait."
"I was admiring... the portrait."
"Were you planning on stealing it?"
"What? No." You peered at him through your niqaab. "It would not be the brightest idea to steal a large canvas and walk through the palace that is littered with guards."
He hummed. "You could go out the window."
"And ruin the painting or risk breaking my legs?"
"Huh. So what do you think would be the best way to steal this painting?" What kind of trick question is this?
"Not that I am stealing it, but if I were to- I'd most likely remove it from the canvas and roll it up, tuck it under my dress or hide it somewhere else and then leave with it. Or maybe pass it to another person, to make myself less suspicious."
"For someone who claims they're not stealing it, that does sound like you put a lot of thought in it." Mustafa admitted.
You frowned. "I was just pointing out the obvious. As I said, I am not a thief!"
"Then who are you?"
"I'm Y/n, Mihirmah sultana's Quran teacher-" He chuckled. "Sure, that's believable."
"Its true."
"You expect me to believe Mihirmah, my little sister who would much rather spend her days skinning someone, is learning Quran?" He smiled, making dimples appear on his cheeks.
"Its not by choice. Sultan Suleiman hired me." He stopped smiling.
"The Sultan... hired you?" Mustafa asked. What- why would his father hire you? You're just a young girl, almost the same age as Mihirmah.
"You can ask him if you dont believe me." You were tired of being insulted. What, does he think you're not smart enough to teach someone? Or just plain ole ugly?
"I-"
"Y/n! Ugh! There you are!" Baris Agha voice cut through, and as soon as he spotted Mustafa, he bowed, but you saw the momentary glance of confusion of why you were with him.
"Sehzade." Baris greeted him. Mustafa acknowledged him with a single nod. "Please excuse me, but I must take Hatun Y/n. Mihirmah sultana has demanded her presence."
Mustafa nodded again, letting Baris Agha drag you out by the arm. He looked at you trying to free your arm from his painful grip while Baris chewed your ear out. Mustafa shook his head before turning around to look at the portrait you were "admiring".
It is... something.
-
By dinner time, your head was pounding to the point you thought someone was hammering a nail in your head. Instead of spending the rest of the day catching some sleep, Mihirmah had demanded you help her dress "modestly" for her Quran recitation tonight. She wanted a look that really captured her "angelic and spirutal" personality.
You were sure your eyes were blood shot, from the lack of sleep. You didnt eat anything since yesterday, because you were almost constantly with royalty and God forbid you ate with them. No, they're "superior" and you dont deserve to eat or take care of yourself unless they allow you to.
"How do I look?" Mihirmah asked you. You were standing outside the royal dining room, where she would first go and have dinner with her family before showing what she's learnt so far.
"Like you just returned from Hajj pilgrimage." You rolled your eyes. She shot you a glare. "You look fine, Mihirmah. Just... stay calm and remember what I've taught you. You got this." She nodded before entering the room where her family awaited her.
You leaned against the wall and sighed, about to close your eyes to take a power nap when Baris Agha nudged you.
"Wake up! Sultana and sehzade are here." He whispered harshly, just as you spotted Mahidevran and Mustafa walking down the hall. You and Baris bowed with the guards.
"Sultana. Sehzade." Baris greeted them sweetly. "The dining hall is currently occupied. Sultan Suleiman is having dinner with his family."
"And what are we, Baris?" Mahidevran snapped, making Baris's courteous smile falter. "I am his first wife, Mustafa- his first son. We have more right to be here than Hurrem and her kids."
"Sultana-" Baris tried to persuade her but she beat him to it by walking past and knocking on the door.
"Enter!" Suleiman called from inside. The servants opened the door, allowing Mahidevran and Mustafa inside.
They bowed to Suleiman. "I hope we're not interrupting, sultan. We just heard that our dear Mihirmah would be reading Quran today and I just couldnt stop myself from coming. I just want to witness our little Mihirmah becoming so connected with her religion, perhaps even inspire me." She smiled widely, placing a hand on Mustafa's back. "I brought her elder brother to show our support. May we join you, sultan?"
Suleiman stared at them before nodding. "Of course, Mahidevran. We're all family here."
Mahidevran couldnt help the smirk that formed on her lips as she saw the pissed off look on Hurrem's face and the alarmed one Mihirmah's. While Hurrem did hope to teach a lesson to her daughter to not lie to her, she wouldnt want to do it by embarrassing her in front of Mahidevran.
The doors closed and their dinner began. You leaned against the wall again to rest your eyes but of course, Baris Agha had to mutter incoherently about the whole situation.
"Allah! Allah! What are we going to do? This might as well be the start of another war inside! Hurrem sultana and Mahidevran sultana head-to-head again-" He elbowed you hard, making you yelp. "Did you tell Mahidevran to come here?! I swear, I will yank your tongue out and strangle you with it."
"Baris Agha, at this rate, I'll be the one to strangle you if you touch me one more time." You threatened, shoving him away roughly.
"You little-" The doors opened again, a servant walked out.
"Hatun Y/n. Sultan has summoned you."
You walked inside, courtesying to the royal family.
Suleiman had this gentle look in his eyes. "Ah. This is Y/n, the teacher I hired for Mihirmah." He introduced you to his family, unbeknownst to him they'd already met you. He looked at you. "I wanted you to be here as Mihirmah recited for us."
"I'm honoured, sultan." You said softly, eyes to the ground as Mihirmah stood up and walked to the center of the room.
Suleiman gave her a nod to start.
Mihirmah took a deep breath in, closed her eyes and started reciting.
إِنَّآ أَعْطَيْنَـٰكَ ٱلْكَوْثَرَ "
فَصَلِّ لِرَبِّكَ وَٱنْحَرْ
"إِنَّ شَانِئَكَ هُوَ ٱلْأَبْتَرُ
15 seconds. Thats all it took for Mihirmah to recite the shortest surah in the Quran, with almost perfect qirat. The surah that usually took 10 minutes for children to learn, took Mihirmah all night to memorise with near-perfect pronunciation. Sure, this was not what anyone was expecting, especially not Hurrem when she challenged you and Mihirmah, but the deal was to recite a surah from Quran, by memory. It just so happened to be the shortest one, the easiest one. You won fair and square.
"MashAllah, Mihirmah. That was beautiful. I am so proud of you." Suleiman beamed, his eyes shining with pride. Mihirmah grinned, running to kiss her father's cheeks.
"Yes, Mihirmah. That was... nice." Hurrem feigned a smile, just happy that she wasnt embarrassed in front of Mahidevran.
"Thank you, mom. I guess I just had a really good teacher." Mihirmah shot you a grateful look, making everyone in the room look at you. Your face flushed, and you were grateful for the niqaab to hide your face.
"Oh- um, you're just a keen learner, sultana." You said softly.
Mahidevran lips quirked up, and Hurrem saw the evil glint in her eyes. "Oh Mihirmah, you read so wonderfully. Your voice- ah! It just moved me. Please, Mihirmah- would you be kind enough to recite for me again? I'm sure your father would love to hear you as well."
Mihirmah's brows furrowed slightly. "I- of course, sultana." She closed her eyes and was about to recite the same surah again when Mahidevran's voice stopped her.
"Oh no, Mihirmah. I was hoping to hear something else."
Mihirmah's face fell. "But this is what I've memorised-"
"That's quiet alright, sweetie. You can always read it from the Quran. This isnt a test!" She chuckled. "I'm sure your teacher has taught you the basics! Here, I even brought the Quran with me." She handed Mihirmah the Holy book.
So this is how she planned to embarrass Mihirmah. She knew the young girl was neither interested nor good at learning Quran, so now when Mihirmah would stammer upon her words, then Suleiman and Hurrem will be ashamed that their Muslim daughter, at the age of 19, cannot even recite properly. Hopefully, this might even cause the couple to fight and Mihirmah to fall from the graces of her father's eyes.
Nervously, Mihirmah slowly opened the book, turning to the first page. She cleared her throat, as it'd help.
It didnt.
Mihirmah stammered and stumbled over her words many times, to the point that the first surah that should've taken less than a minute to recite, ended up taking way longer than anyone would like to admit.
As Mihirmah finished reading, you could see the tears welling up in her eyes and redness in her cheeks. She was utterly embarrassed, she felt she had let her parents down.
"Oh Mihirmah~" Mahidevran cooed. "That was.... not good at all, darling."
"I-" Mihirmah tried to muster up an excuse but the sultana did not care.
"I mean- you were just a disaster! Stuttering and making so many mistakes, and that too with the book open!"
"Mahidevran, enough." Hurrem warned.
Mahidevran narrowed her eyes at her. "What? Oh Hurrem, I am not trying to embarrass Mihirmah! In fact, I think she's not at fault. Well, not completely. I suppose she just doesnt have a good teacher."
Everyone was now looking at you.
Is this how everything ends up becoming your fault and you're the one who gets punished?
Fuck. This.
"Excuse me?" You couldnt help the irritation seep in your voice.
Mahidevran raised a brow at you. "Am I wrong? You were supposed to be the one responsible for teaching our princess Quran. And yet, she just made a fool out of herself. You tried to fool us by making Mihirmah learn the shortest surah, but look at her now- barely able to read from the book!"
Your eyes widened. Is she for real?
"I think you're wrong, sultana." Everyone looked at you as you stated boldly. "Yes, Mihirmah sultana did stammer and made mistakes as she read but I think thats much more valuable." You sighed. "Mihirmah sultana had to make twice the effort to read the Quran than one usually would, but she will also get twice the reward from Allah for her efforts. She knew she wont read well, she knows she's just a beginner at this stage, but she didnt let it stop her. And Allah will reward her for that, He knows what was in her heart, her intentions, despite what anyone has to say about her skills."
"And as for "trying to fool" anyone here- "You looked her dead in the eye. "I find that accusation insulting to the very core. You say that I made Mihirmah sultana memorise the shortest surah in the Quran. I did. Surah Kawthar is indeed the shortest surah, but does that mean it is less important? Not worthy to be read, or be in the Holy Book altogether?"
Mahidevran was frowning as you looked at her. "Do you claim to know better than Allah as to what should or shouldn't be in His divine book? Surah Kawthar may be the shortest surah in the Quran but it is one that I find deep comfort in. As the surah translates-
Indeed, We have granted you ˹O Prophet˺ abundant goodness.
So pray and sacrifice to your Lord ˹alone˺
Only the one who hates you is truly cut off ˹from any goodness˺.
And what does this tell us? The background of these verses is that when our beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) lost his son, his enemies, the non believers would make fun of him that "Islam will end now because Muhammad had no male heir to continue to grow the religion, to spread the word of Allah." But Allah wouldn't abandon his beloved prophet, even when he was depressed.
This Surah was sent down when the nonbelievers of Makkah taunted the Holy Prophet (PBUH) because he had lost all his male issues, and called him 'abtar' or insulted him for some other reason. The present Surah gives an answer to the taunts of the nonbelievers, and maintains that there is no justification for calling the Holy Prophet (PBUH) an 'abtar' only because he had no male child alive, not only because his lineal offspring will remain till the Day of Judgment, though from his daughters, but he was destined to be the spiritual father of a multitude of sons in all ages to the end of time, sons who were to be far more faithful, obedient and loving than the sons of any father, and they will outnumber the followers of all the Prophets that came before him. The Surah has also highlights the great honor and respect given to him by Allah.
I also like to think that the reason why this Surah was included in the Quran was so that Muslims in general would also be comforted by the word of Allah. That all the Muslims, even if they were not from Prophet Muhammad's direct lineage, we are his ummah and so we will also enjoy the river Kawthar.
Kawthar refers to a river in paradise, which translates "a river that contains abundant goodness" and we will enjoy the greatest honour and respect, as our Prophet Muhammad's ummah."
You took a deep breath. "So, Mahidevran sultana... do you still accuse me of fooling anyone?"
The room was dead silent. You may have indirectly insulted Mahidevran and broken so many rules, but everything you said was true. It was clear. You were smart and educated, Suleiman had no doubt about it when he first met you. And now, he was only more reassured of his decision to make you Mihirmah's teacher.
"Very well said, Y/n." Suleiman broke the silence. Standing up, he walked over to Mihirmah, holding her shoulder and pressing a kiss to her forehead, comforting his daughter.
"I am very proud of you, Mihirmah. I can see the hardwork you did." He hugged her again, pressing another kiss to her forehead as she sniffled softly. "I knew you'd do well, so I brought a gift for you."
Mihirmah watched as a servant brought a wooden box lined with velvet and gems. Opening it, she gasped softly.
It was a gold bracelet with rubies and emeralds, lined in an intricate pattern.
Hurrem smiled as Suleiman put the bracelet around his daughter's wrist, before bringing her hand to his lips and pecking it.
He was a proud father.
"And Y/n-" You stiffened. Suleiman turned towards you, his body towering over you. "You did a fine job at not only teaching Mihirmah, but also helping us understand the significance of Surah Kawther."
A servant brought box, similar to Mihirmah's. Opening it, you saw a bracelet, identical to Mihirmah's.
"This is for you." Suleiman smiled as he placed the bracelet around your trembling hand.
"I- sultan-" you tried to return it but Suleiman silenced you.
"I crafted this with my own hands. It'll be rude of you to refuse." Your eyes widened at his serious tone and you immediately bowed your head.
"T-thank you, sultan." He hummed, returning to his seat while Mihirmah hugged you, giggling.
Dinner continued on as Mihirmah and her siblings began chattering once you left, but something had disturbed both Hurrem and Mahidevran.
-
"What happened inside? Catfight?" Baris Agha, the gossiper asked as you stumbled out of the room. His eyes fell on the bracelet and he snatched your hand. "Allah! Allah! Did you steal this?! I will have you-"
"Sultan Suleiman gifted it to me." Baris dropped your hand.
"S-sultan? Sultan's gift?" He whispered to himself in disbelief, but you were already walking away. You were tired, your headache had now turned into a migraine and your energy levels had dropped. All you wanted was to curl up in bed and at this point, you dont care if you wake up or not.
But sleep is for the fortunate ones. For you, Baris Agha was written.
"Y/n! You- stop! Listen!" He ran up behind you, pulling your shoulder to make you stop. "You- Sultan Suleiman gifted you the bracelet?! Do you know what this means?"
You heaved a sigh, your vision getting blurry. "Baris, just- just shut up. I need to... sleep." You turned around and started walking, not realising just how blurry your vision was, or how you were leaning against the wall for support.
All you saw was blurry figure standing in front of you, before you lost your footing. The figure caught you, and you heard Baris yell your name before losing consciousness.
-
Hurrem was in Suleiman's chambers. She was going to spend the night here, it seemed. Suleiman had summoned her himself tonight.
Suleiman walked inside, and when he spotted his wife, he smiled. Hurrem returned the smile, walking upto him and kissing him.
"Suleiman..." She whispered against his lips. "You summoned me?"
"I did." He lead her to the bed, sitting down. "What do you think of Y/n?"
She tilted her head. Y/n? "I suppose she is a good teacher. Smart. Well educated, at least religion wise."
He let out a hum. "What else?"
"What else, Suleiman? I dont know her." Suleiman chuckled, making her even more confused. Why are you being brought up right now?
"Well, try getting to know her better." "Why?"
Suleiman shrugged. "You'll know in due time."
Hurrem couldnt put her mind at peace the rest of the night. Why was Suleiman curious about you? He couldnt possibly want you- no. No. She saw him with you. He practically looked at you the same way he looked at Mihirmah. Thats why he gave you both the same bracelets-
Oh no.
-
You woke up when you felt something cool on your forehead. Opening your eyes, a wet rag blocked your vision. You pushed the rag away, accidentally touching the hand that was holding the rag there.
A man was sitting on your bedside. He had honey-coloured eyes, short, well kept dark brown hair and tanned skin.
"You can let go of my hand, Hatun Y/n." He grinned.
Your face turned red as you dropped his hand. "I- sorry."
"No worries. You're just disoriented from earlier. Exhaustion, the physicians say." He chuckled, standing up and you noticed Baris standing in the corner now. "You will need to get used to working long hours, especially now." Baris raised his brows at you as he said that, making the man laugh again.
"I will take my leave now. Take care, Hatun Y/n. And let me know if she needs anything, Baris."
"Of course, Ibrahim pasha." He bid farewell to the vizir.
The man said before leaving. Baris immediately rushed to you, grinning from ear to ear.
"What?"
"Who would've guessed- the preacher to be the tempteress?"
"Excuse me?" You glared at him. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Baris waved you off. "Well, be flattered! I mean- you're going to be married to a sehzade soon-"
"Woah woah! What are you talking about?"
Baris stared at you. "Oh, you really dont know, do you?" You looked even more puzzled. Baris grabbed your wrist, showing you the bracelet. "This is made by sultan Suleiman. The sultan only gives handmade gifts to family and close relatives. And since I've been here since the sultan married the first sultana, I know you're not his secret love child, which means..." he waited for you to catch on, but giving up when you took too long.
"Y/n, if you're not related to him blood, then you will become related to him by becoming a part of his family. Which will be by you becoming his daughter-in-law!" He exclaimed.
Your face paled. No, no!
"Close your mouth, you'll catch flies, darling." Baris tapped your chin. "And I suggest you hide your bracelet for a while. Dont want the concubines to get jealous, hm?"
So?? Thoughts??? Who do you think will be the yanderes? What do you think will happen next???
PART 9 is here!
#yandere x darling#time traveller au#king baldwin x reader#yandere male#yandere harem#yandere x reader
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~`all ours~` part 1
Part 2
~` pairing: viking!141 x fem!reader
~` summary: you were a simple girl living with your family in a small villiage when the price clan came and raided your villiage so now your their prisoner.
a/n: aight so im back and ready sorry for being gone for so long. so this fic is heavily inspired by @groguspicklejar fic SO GO READ CUZ LORD. Her fics are AMAZING. while i was gone i developed a heavy crush on price from cod and i wanted to write something like this for a while so here we are.
~` warnings: being chased, violence, dark shi. !CAUTION! these fics will contain dark stuff in them so if it is not for you do not read it pls. If you do read it and get offended by it it is not my problem cuz it says dark shi so yeah.
like any other morning you went to the nearby river for some water and berries. everything was peaceful, the winds were blowing a soft breeze, the birds were singing and the clouds looked like pillows you could sleep on when suddenly you heard loud yelling from your home. you ran back to see what had happend only to be met with the sight of fire. everything was burning and everyone was yelling. you rushed to your hut only to find it destroyed and then you saw them.
they were like animals slaughtering and destroying everything in sight. you ran as fast as you could and hid in the woods behind a gigantic tree. you waited, listenend and tried to proccess what just happend. the people who treated you like family and gave you food were killed brutally, the children who were just playing a couple hours ago now dead too. but you only saw 4 men. could 4 men really kill a whole villiage?
you waited for a while until you couldnt hear any screams anymore and carefully came out of your hiding spot. you slowly aproached the villiage and saw the 4 men and with them where a few surviors tied up. the 4 men where talking amongst themselves so you decided to sneak past them. you carefully and quietly snuck past one of em and heard one of em talking.
"there was no point coming here. the only thing these people had were crops and some silver other than that they had basically nothing"
the one that said this was a dark skinned man with an axe resting on his back and the masked one awnsered.
"exactly they had crops and we don't kyle. if we want to survive this winter we needed more food."
you carefully listened in on theire confersation while sneakily trying to flee when just then you stepped on a branch making a loud crack sound. the 2 men who were talking turned theire heads to your derection.
"what was that"
slowly you could heard them aproaching the bush you hid behind. you were shaking from fear and you could hear your heart beating in your chest. without thinking you ran.
"fuck GET HER"
you heard one of em say. filled with adreneline you ran as fast as you could. you ran past the tied up survivors and just when you thought you could make it out of there one of the men suddenly appeared in front of you making you collide against his chest causing you to fall on your butt.
"well well well what do we have here."
you looked up at him. he had short black hair with a mutton chop beard and was build like a greek god with countless tattoos on his chest.
"did you really think you could run from us las?"
you started to crawl backwards with fear while he slowly aproached you. you could feel the tears coming out of your eyes so with your last strenght you stood up and ran the opposite derection only to see the other men in your way. both of your ways to escape were blocked by these monsters. you felt you heart beating almost out of your chest and tears were streaming down your face.
"p-please don't i-i just wanna go please"
you pleaded to them sobbing.
"aww sweetie its okay we wont hurt c'ha"
the one with a dark brown mowhawk said sarcastically while grinning. before you could do anything you were grabbed from the back by the masked man. you tried to squirm out of his grasp but his hold on you was rock solid.
"shhh its okay we aren't bad people....well we are but we will take good care of you okay"
the man with a mohawk then put a cloth with some sort of substance on your nose. you tried to resisit by shaking your head but he pulled your hair back and shoved the cloth onto your nose. slowly you could feel yourself slipping away and everything slowly became blury.
"shhh sleep now we have plans for ya bonnie"
So this will be part 1 in a multiple part series so feel free to send suggestions and ideas cuz i need em.
#cod#captain john price#simon ghost riley#kyle gaz garrick#john soap mactavish#cod mw2#task force 141#141 x reader#writing smut is exhausting#reading#price x reader smut
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the stars keep on calling my name, pt 1: ikran flying ⋆·˚ ༘ *
pairing: sully reader x ao'nung
summary: after spending your time in the awa'altu clan with the metkayina children, you've feel a bit homesick and decide to run back to what you know. a suprise comes to you when a special visitor wants to tag along. how long can he survive on an ikran?
word count: 798, a short one
warnings: if ur an avatar nerd, this doesn't really make sense plot-wise. sorry. (i don't care.)
a/n: sorry for taking 8 n a half months to make something but i got a few things for yall.. i hope. and yes i know this fic is kind of unrealistic but aren't they all? emd.
you were sick.
not literally, god no. you'd rather the sky people take your life now than show sign of weakness on this godforsaken water park. you hated it here.
your disdain for this place ran deep. you’ve endured nearly a year at awa’altu, long after the war had ended. don’t get me wrong, the clan's hospitality was great. you cherished the friendships formed over the year and were awestruck by the ocean's beauty. however, your heart longed for home.
the forest.
the trees you grew up with, and the familiar vines and cliffs you've climbed your entire life. and just suddenly, without warning, your father uprooted us all and relocated us to a barren land of wet sand and peculiar fish. and of course, you understood why we were doing this. you didnt want to hurt your clan by staying with your omaticayan family, and with the sky people haunting you, it seemed more than likely that staying with tonowari, ronal, and the rest of the metkayina was your best option. but still, it hurt. so,
you were leaving.
you finally mustered up the courage to sneak out of your marui that was wonderfully woven by the women of the clan, just for you and your family. it was late, so you didnt have to worry about your family seeing you as you continued to walk past the other pods.
lo'ak knew about your plan. tuk cried the night prior, but your feathered kisses to her forehead and promises to come back for her seemed to soothe her. kiri was upset that you didn't take her with you. neteyam would have told mom and dad, so he's oblivious to it all.
the stars glimmered in the night, making your bioluminescence shimmer in a way that made you look beautiful. as your feet left marks through the sand, your stride was confident. it was a way he had never seen before.
ao’nung.
you and ao’nung never had the best relationship, especially with you being from a foreign clan and even having the slightest bit of demon blood, even though it didnt show through your three fingers. he despised you and your family. except,
he couldnt get your beauty out of your head. he never could, and yet now, it was even worse.
striding down the wet sand, you could almost feel it turn into the mud and grass you would feel if you were back home. you could smell the mist, although it didn’t have a particular scent. it just smelled.. home-y. you took your ikran by its queue, the same way you would tug on a vine while climbing a tree, and hoisted yourself on before making the bond.
you had to feel the agitation in your ikran before you noticed ao'nung pathetically attempting to crawl onto her tail. she began to screech and flail her tail around before you protested.
"wait!" you whisper-yelled as he almost went flying into the ocean.
"where do you think you're going??" ao'nung said in a mocking tone. he was teasing you, but you weren't kidding this time.
"i'm leaving."
a moment of silence rolled over. ao'nung's face contorted in a way you'd never seen before. surely he'd run to tell your dad. but then.. his lips curled on his face. was he.. trying to smile? regardless, it wasn't a good look for him. after a while of you blankly staring back at him, he stopped.
"you're serious?"
"yes." you said before you turned away, shifted your posture, and your ikran stretched its wings. you leaned forward before the first flap into the air lifted you to home. the wings lifted..
"wait!" he shouted over your ikran's rustles.
"what?" you said agitated. now that the idea was taking place you couldn't wait to leave.
"take me with you."
now it was your turn to laugh. it was also your turn to ask if he was serious. and you still didn't believe him as he half-ass climed his way up onto your ikran.
"ao'nung, get off. i'm leaving."
"no."
"..suit yourself," you muttered. fly as reckless as you can, knock him off. your inner thoughts amused your ikran as she flew off as steep as she could.
ao'nungs screams could have been heard throughout the whole kingdom, if they weren't thousands of feet in the air. he held on to you as hard as possible as your ikran made short stops, dives, and spins you didn't even know she could do. your hair flew behind you into his face, so every now and then the putters of him spitting out a few lost strands made you laugh. eventually you told her to settle down.
out of breath, a smug ao'nung commented, "are you done trying to get me to fall off now?"
"yeah," you giggled through his sighs.
my short apology
... my bad cuz
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Bridge The Gap With Me
Noa x human reader
basically we wake up in their world and we are trying to survive it. I did not edit this at all so if there are mistakes I'm sorry
chapter 1: waking up in a new world
Running feeling the wind in my hair the cool air rushing by my face with each step the deep inhail every few seconds filling my lungs a wide smile spread across my face. I felt free like a bird in the sky no one to hold me back. It gave me pure joy the terrain was new exciting and I was in no way letting stop me. I jumped over rocks, dodged tree roots, and rounded trees.
I loved it here the world so untouched by human hands watching from a screen was so different I air felt so much fresher and when I finally slow in small meadow I lay in the grass. I remembered when I woke up here I was in an empty building a binker of some kind, I was cautious scared even I took careful steps when there was no one around almost like I was abandoned here.
I remembered panicking but a few hours later I got up and looked further in depth in what I had missed I saw notes in books and plans that was there. It was far from the year I was in 300 years farther. I looked for provisions and it was mostly rotten or old. I ate what was edible and started planning what I could do to servive I couldnt stay here I even if I wanted to I needs resources in order to live.
So I grabbed the best kept bag and filled it with what I could. 2 pairs of pants that fit me well enough 2 shirts one was one size larger the other fits rather snug and the one I currently wore which for the best a pair of sturdy gloves. I got a pair of steel toe boots half a size too big I grabbed what looked like soap hand made and as much medical supplies I could a tent and sleeping bag.
My best finds after that was a pair of hunting knives that needed a bit of sharpening two metal pots and a fire starter. with those tools and supplies I walked out into the world. What met me was a world that mother nature reclaimed. With a deep breath I stepped out and left my safety net and leapt into the fire and here I am now a few months later. It was was slap to the face the harshness of my new reality but I did it somehow. I swore I cant thank myself enough for watching those videos on survival and the notes from the bunker on what was safe and what to stay away from.
So here I am now in this small meadow the grass tickling me it was spring time early spring to me it seems. I was getting close to a few building that were in the distance I was hoping to find temporary shelter there.
With a sigh I got up and walked there keeping an eye out if there was one thing I learned while in the bunker was that the new world I found myself in was my favorite movie series. Apes have taken control of the world and because humanity had little to do with the world other than struggle to survive it became this new beautiful utopia.
After a few hours and my feet feeling like the were swollen from all my traveling I arrived to buildings covered in vines I made sure I was properly covered getting tetanus was not on my list today or any other day. It was like looking at ruins on the computer or TV so beautifully tragic. I found a library and I swore I felt tears filled my eyes something to pass time no longer would I be stuck with my thoughts.
I looked at survival books medical books and tentivly I made my way to the kids area and found books that brought me back to my childhood Dr Seuss, the hungry caterpillar, and the rainbow fish from there I went to fictional stories like the Percy Jackson books to romance books to thrillers I filled a backpack full of my finds. I then found paper and pencils and art books that were there whether I was a good artist or not I didn't care. Even if I was alone I felt atleast a little less so now. I chose a random book and began to read letting myself escape even for a little bit. once I finished a chapter I got up made sure I was safe and secure and got ready for bed.
I stayed the one week before deciding to leave but making sure to remeber where it was incase I wanted to return. ive been on the road for a few hours when I came across a tunnel and was deciding if I should chajnce it and step through, after a few seconds to considering it I walked through. It was damp and smelled weird but with a brisk walk I was finally on the other side.
"Hmm now which direction should I go?" I said to myself my voice a little hoarse from no use. Deciding to go straight I remebered to remain diligent and keep alook out just because i havent seen and ape or human doesnt mean theres not any out there and if there was either I had no way of knowing if they were friendly.
It was starting to get dark so i found a liitle space to pitch my tent and make a small fire nothing too big just enough to keep me warm. I pulled out some water and a few berries I found on the way safe to eat from what the guides I had said. I was exhuasted making sure the fire was secure and no way start a forest fire i gotinto my tent and into my sleeping bag and slowly drifted to sleep. ' I hope I can meet someone soon.. hopefully someone nice' was my final though before I slept the same thought after a few weeks after waking up here.
#kotpota#noa kotpota#noa x human reader#basically an isekai I guess#noa x reader#kingdome of the planet of the apes
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someone liked one of my TOH headcanon posts from earlier this year and it reminded me about the specific headcanons i have for exactly what types of games the hexsquad plays and how they play them.
luz is obv an RPG fantasy fan. anything with a juicy story and a character creator and complex lore she’ll love. she definitely plays series like elder scrolls and baldur’s gate and final fantasy. she also plays final fantasy 14 and has her character as the good witch luzura and she isnt good at playing it like an mmo is supposed to be played but she loves the story. when endwalker came out luz couldnt stop sobbing to the point that camila was actually worried about her. also enjoys roguelikes such as hades or binding of isaac even if she can only play for so long before getting too frustrated. she also 100% plays genshin impact and gets into arguments online with other genshin fans.
amity is a fighting game girl. she is highly competitive and practices combos with her eyes shut. she prefers the tekken series but when luz wants to play with her they play guilty gear bcus luz likes it’s art style the most. she also likes fantasy RPGs but is way more picky about which ones she plays. she likes fire emblem. she also plays ff14 with luz and is actually good at the game (she carries luz sometimes) but isnt a huge fan of MMOs. she also is the one in the friend group with the NASA ass PC rig with a custom case and the most organized wiring you’ve ever seen with the lcd screen on the liquid cooled cpu and the azura figurine inside the case. she also does custom wraps for all her consoles.
hunter likes games that are very much like, micromanagement sims. like civ5 or cities skylines or factorio (i dont know anything about it but ive been assured by my sister that hunter plays modded factorio) but he’s also a fan of like, old school FPS games like doom and half life. i can see him doing speedruns of those games. (also he 100% once got addicted to some game like fuckin. galactic pinball or something to the point where he was staying up all night and not sleeping so he could play more pinball. in order to get him to stop playing so much and actually get some sleep, gus used illusions to make hunter think he was hallucinating about pinball and scared him into not looking at a single screen or monitor for like three weeks.)
gus is a very chill gamer but he likes games that he can sink hours and hours into. instead of playing a wide variety of games he has a select few that he dedicates his time into learning every last mechanic, but there’s also some games he just plays casually. like with pokemon games he’ll put hundreds of hours into them and carefully curate his team and does like nuzlocke runs but when he plays on his and willow’s shared-custody new horizons island he’ll just walk around and catch bugs and shit and not really worry about upgrading his house and make matching fits with his favorite villager.
willow prefers cozy games, like slime rancher or stardew valley or the aforementioned shared new horizons island, but she’s also a fucking menace about them. like she goes HARD on the min-maxing and automation and shit. while gus is wandering around their island catching fish, willow’s busy rearranging her fully upgraded mansion up in the hills and harassing any villagers she doesnt like with nets and deciding what hybrids to plant in front of her bell trees (she only has bell trees for the aesthetic. gus isnt allowed to harvest them) she would also be running the most high profit slime ranch ever but the way she treats her slimes makes hunter upset whenever he sees her just fuckin throwing them off a cliff the second they arent useful to her anymore. (meanwhile hunter names each one of his slimes and always feeds them their favorite foods and cried over casey & beatrix)
vee enjoys survival/strategic horror games, like DBD, resident evil, deadspace, or even FNAF. she’s the type of person to see the goriest most violent death in a video game ever and just go “ew yucky” then carry on. masha and her are often playing DBD together while in a call and are the most annoying pair of suvivors ever. she also likes games such as original katamari and pikmin 1 and chulip. she's also the undefeated DDR champion of the friend group.
and of COURSE they all play video games together. they all have a terraria world they play on together where they all are focused on their own little projects while still working together and are slowly building up their own village/mansion/castle/fort but luz keeps rushing ahead of everyone just bcus she's so excited and she definitely somehow ends up summoning the wall of flesh accidentally
they DID have a modded minecraft world for a few months with both tech mods and magic mods but while hunter, amity, and vee all focused on their factories and computers and technology, gus, willow, and luz fucked around with all the crazy magic and accidentally found out by blowing up a factory. this is where heightened tension between the the warlocks & the scientists began. this spark eventually turned into a full fledged war that lasted two months before it ended in mutually assured destruction to the point where no one could actually load into the server without their game crashing.
bonus: camila isnt much of a gamer with one exception-- when she was in college manny introduced her to WoW and got her hooked. it was Their Game that they played together all the time. they made cosplays of their characters together. they had several dates in game. they optimized their characters to perfect compliment one another when they ran dungeons with their guild. even since manny passed camila still plays every so often and keeps in touch with their guild members. for the longest time luz has 0 idea that camila plays WoW at all and only finds out after the whole secret nerd confession.
#krav talks#the owl house#toh#luz noceda#amity blight#hunter noceda#willow park#gus porter#camila noceda#vee noceda#lumity#toh headcanons#headcanons#eda plays candy crush. also she and lilith have a 1800 day words with friends streak going
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Oakfeather (aka. Stormfur)! He has been brought back from the dead (atleast for a bit longer) due to high demand hehe
Design wise, Oak is pretty similar to his father Greystripe, though he has similar stripes to his grandfather Oakheart who he was named after! He is a brownish shade of gray (he also got the brown tint from his grandfather) and Oakfeather's pelt color is pretty similar to the bark of a lot of oak trees which can be kind of gray! He also has one blue eye and one orange eye like his sister (though the blue one is covered moslty by is hair) but they are the opposite ones to his sister!
In RoC Silverstream is the daughter of Oakheart and Willowbreeze, and she named both of her kits after her parents (as well as Graystripe's mom Willowpelt)! Oak and Willow both received the same title (suffix) showing their bond as siblings! I also really like that they both have tree names!
Oak and Willow went though hell together during River Order's era in Tiger Order, and they came out of it extremely bonded. Their mother died weak from getting less food and not receiving care for an illness, Oak was sick as well but he was able to survive, this made Willow extra protective of her brother. Willow is the more feisty sibling, and she was the one to fight back the most during this time, resulting in her receiving a lot more scars. Oak was more hesitant, he feared the wrath of Tigerstar and his followers, he has never fully forgiven himself for not fighting back and helping his sister, he blames himself for several of her injuries because she had been protecting him while he did nothing to fight back.
After Tigerstar was defeated the two siblings had very different outlooks on their Order and lives. Willow never forgave River Order for what happened to her family, she especially had a hatred for Leopardstar and the cats who agreed with Tigerstar. However she chooses to keep a more upbeat, friendly and positive attitude, keeping her anger boiling underneath her happy exterior. On the other hand, Oakfeather is much more loyal to his Order, he mostly believed Leopardstar when she claimed that she regretted Tiger Order, and only did it to protect the Order. Oak loves River and for the most part forgave the Order for what had happened, choosing to mostly blame Tigerstar and his lackeys.
Oak still deals with a lot of regret and fear however. He regrets that he did not do more to protect Willow, but he is still fearful of fighting back. Maybe part of why he so easily forgave his order was because he feared continuing to hate them and continuing to fight them. This fear to fight back upsets him however and he wants to break free of it he wants to be brave, but he believes he is a coward.
Oak didnt become fast friends with Crow, he found him annoying and weird, but Willow brought Crow out of his shell, and Oak came to think of Crow like a little brother and felt a strong spark of protectiveness for the young cat.
When Willowfeather was chosen to go on the journey with the other prophecy cats, Oak refused to let her go on her own. He couldnt bare the idea of being separated form his sister, and he didnt want her to be alone.
He, along with his sister was hesitant of Tawnyclaw and Brambleflower at first, but they realized over time that they had nothing to fear form the two kits of Tigerstar, they even found they could relate to them greatly. Bramble and Oak both related to eachother due to their similar insecurities, and Oak noticed that Willow and Tawny got along due to their fiesty protective attitudes.
in this version of events, it is not Willowfeather who dies killing sharptooth in the mountains, it is Oakfeather.
When Sharptooth found its way into the Mountain colony’s cave and it cornered Crow, Willowfeather rushed to her friend to help him, but she was only cornered as well. Oak stood frozen horrified watching from a higher ledge in the cave. He was frozen just like he had been as an apprentice in Tiger Order, unable to protect his sister. Unlike back then however, Oak snapped out of his frozen state, and in that moment made the decision to fight back one last time, to finaly protect his sister, and to protect his friend! He was the one who jumped up on and broke the spike on the ceiling of the cave and he was the one to fall with the sharp stone onto Sharptooth.
Oakfeather died with his friends he had made and his sister by his side.
Willowfeather would later choose to stay in the mountains when the Orders traveled back through to find their new territory. She would stay where her brother was buried and find happiness with her mate Brook, with whom she had a kit who she named Oaktree.
And when she hears word that the Orders are in dander due to Hawkfrost.. now Hawkstar, she would remember her brother’s love and loyalty to River Order, and she would return to help end Hawkstar’s reign over her old home!
[Image ID: a digital drawing of Oakfeather, an au version of Stormfur from warrior cats. He is sitting with his right side showing, he has a happy expression and he has his mouth open like he is talking. He is a long furred, fluffy gray tabby tom with one blue eye and one orange eye. He has a long hair tuft on his head which covers his right eye (the blue one) almost entirely and the fur around his neck is extra long and fluffy like a mane. He has white on his muzzle, chest and paws, and he has scars on his shoulder. His inner ears, nose, paws and scars are all light pink./End ID]
#cryptidclaw's warriors au#rise of change#Stormfur#oakfeather#Feathertail#warrior cats#warrior cats design#warriors
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give me something real that happened to you that feels like it could be the start of a horror movie, for me it's both the time i tried to summon bloody mary at my school (nothing happened) and this one website i went on that had a virtual board game on it that had a weird backstory behind it where the game is a recreation of a real life board game that some archeologists found made in like the 1600s/1700s that, upon playing, brainwashed the archeologists via some Psychology Tricks.
okay idont think ive posted this one before but its . stuck with me since it happened
i moved to another house for a year when i was 8 . it was me , my sibling , my mom , and this other family we were renting from but they dont matter here . we lived like 5 minutes walking distance from a forest . sometime in december my sibling went Hey what if we went in that forest at night and played jumanji . we were both into horror and i agreed cause like why not man if we die we'll be horror protags and if we dont we live and have a mildly fun experience . so we did at like 1 am , dark as shit so we had to bring a flashlight out and tie it to a tree branch like a spotlight . started playing and the version we had (or rules we just made up?) had like this chant thing you had to do whenever you lost a survival minigame thing . in the middle of me chanting one we both saw this fucking. thing. walking in a circle like 10 feet away around us. it was dark and it was far away so i couldnt really see it but from what i could see and remember it looked like a deer standing on its back 2 feet with a human head . the head had long hair . we both just watched it silently until it suddenly dissapeared and we both fucking BOOKED IT left the flashlight and our jumanji board . we didnt bring it up again or go back for our stuff .
that house had a fuck ton of weird supernatural shit thats just the one that stuck with me the most
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hello gay autism website, advice for meltdowns and burnout?
preventing meltdowns and dealing w them if they occur, recovering from burnout after a lifetime of masking and smaller burnouts until i pushed it for too long and this time i feel broken but also learned more about myself ?
i havent intentionally self harmed in 2 years, and quit nicotine like 2 months ago so those are some long term core coping strategies i lost maybe also making stuff harder, but it was good to quit those ofc
it just gets scary bc during a meltdown it feels like i Need to Scream and/or Run and/or make myself feel pain/hit myself or hit something else (but i stopped doing that bc once as a teen i broke my wall and it was embarrassing and bad, and a few weaks ago i fucked up my hand punching a tree full force) (it always ends up being Harder and More Damage than i thought at the time, mayb adrenaline, but adds to scary) but the worst is that during the worst ones I feel a very strong urge to hit my head against shit as hard as i can, and i try to redirect to Anything Else bc that feels Dangerous so i used to punch my legs a lot and give myself hematoma bad bruising, more recent ones ive screamed into stuff to muffle, scratch my skin (another past coping mechanism of sh F), and bite myself so hard i feel my teeth about to connect and tear a chunk of meat out of me so i get scared and stop
it also is really hard or impossible to communicate and really hard to think so its more stressful if i am causing distress to others and want to calm down when i cannot calm down
it feels involuntary, like if i dont scream ill hurt myself and if i dont bash my head in i have to punch my legs or bite myself
at a certain point, i probably just have to let myself have the meltdown and know i will be okay after, but it scares people also if i cannot communicate that to them and am in lot of visible distress
advice ? any pls
im struggling a lot and have been this entire year
probably started burnout around october and thought it was a depressive episode (maybe a lot of my past depressive episodes were burnout and being too depressed to do shit let me rest, but this time i couldnt afford to be depressed bc i need to work to live and afford shit and etc etc even tho still not doing shit i need to like acquiring insurance and doctors, it feels impossible i am just trying to survive each day. how the fuck do you get doctors and appointments if u are too mentally unwell to do that. i cannot afford to be hospitalized either i need to keep working and have money to live)
any advice ? sorry for essay, ty if you read, shit is so hard rn
#autism#autistic adult#autism advice#self harm#meltdown#burnout#autistic burnout#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#sensory overload#mental health#ask to tag idk sorry for oversharing i have therapy on monday but idk if there will be good advice when i was googling shit all the advice#is aimed at parents of autistic kids#i am an autistic adult who has masked my entire life and reach my Fucking Limit#so i have no idea how to exist and cope!!!#but have more hope than i did before in mental health bc i thought i was always doomed to hate myself and be depressed and want to die#now there is hope to learn about myself and get better at stuff but it is hard and still feels p impossible
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I have au idea fallen angel au
Note this dose not connect to the bible or the religion
In my au henry was a high ranking angel helping souls to heaven, a former human that died, joey a high ranking angel is a corrupt member of the heavenly court, so is susie she is working with joey in exchange for more power, they would take captured demons and execute them in a coliseum for their own enjoyment much to the horror of the other angels but they cant say or do anything about it because if they do they would become fallen angels and the decommissioning of a angel is gruesome and painful one day when a sinner is gonna be excuted by angelic army soilders henry couldnt stand this so he jumped in and saved him the demon was sammy lawrence and helped him escape susie jumped in with her soilders and arrested henry and joey sentenced him to be fallen henry shakled to the ground as susie took a golden bone saw and cut of henry's wings one by one it was agonizing for him since it was a slow process to cut through feathers, muscle, tendons and bone, they took henry's halo and shattered it
They unshackled him and they took henry and throw him inside a portal that takes him to hell or earth but henry fell 4,0000000 feet from heaven and he landed through pine trees and bushes getting pine needles imbedded into his wounds. He managed to survive a fall that would kill any human and the amount of blood he lost but he survived he disgused himself as a human he adapted to life on earth again like he was when he was human before his death he meets linda and they got married henry hid the fact he was angel for 4 years joey and susie soon began sending angels to earth to kill sinners which is going against the heavenly code so is misconduct of power linda died of a illness they had a daughter named evelyn and henry soon sees sammy again they can recognize each other in human form and just like with linda he hid that he was angel from his daughter evelyn to keep her safe Sammy knew he was angel and henry knew he was the demon he saved the two soon began dating
#fallen angel au#angel!henry#demon!sammy#evelyn stein#bendy and the ink machine#joey drew#angel!joey#angel!susie#susie campbell#henry stein#sammy lawrence#bendy and the dark revival#angels#demon's#tw mutilation#tw mention of blood#Senry#sammy x henry#sammy is susie's ex boyfriend
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clawing at the sides of my enclosure trying to get out of this insane bout of artblock that persisted for the majority of 2022
so! to help mend that, i wanted to do personal headcannons of what the book clan cats physiques are. minor additions below that i couldnt fit on the images themselves
⚡️ThunderClan are the most… cat? like, they’re truly the generic brand of feline. their overall body and form didnt really need to change that much to better their ability to survive in their own environment… so it didnt! they’re typically more warm coated to help blend into the greenery that surrounds them.
🌌ShadowClan are small but strong. Pray is scarce, so their population hasnt been able to grow to rival other clans, but they’re truly masters of their territory, using the thick tree cover to their advantage. Their paws are also very tender due to the pine needles making a cushy blanket that covers the forest floor, which also helps absorb any sound they may accidentally make. Theyre mostly dark solids, any brighter color typically does more harm than good.
💨WindClan also isnt a very big clan, but they’re very closely knit. Rabbits and field mice are very plentiful almost all year round, so they’re able to eat plenty, but both are very quick to duck into burrows. Need to be fit and fast to survive… they’re also really annoying cats to be around. They know they can outrun anybody.
🌊RiverClan cats are very prideful in their proportions and hold themselves in high regard and believe themselves to be the prettiest of all cats. Their fur grows very full and long, but they use fish oil to slick their hair back to aid in swimming and dry time. They spend a lot of time sun bathing and try not to let the other ugly cats bother them too much, as they hate getting their paws dirty. They’re majority thin striped tabbies with light underbellies as the fish have trouble seeing them.
🌳Skyclan is very kindly, as they see other clans as very polite for letting them join them in their lives. They’re well known for being very welcoming to new members, and are a refuge for any cat trying to leave their old life behind. They’re very arboreal and spend a lot of time building muscle to leap great lengths.
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//so i dont feel like pullin up the generator. ill just type it out instead
alr luckheart lore time
(tws for: domestic abuse)
also this is very long so
his mom (a rose) worked at the steamworks and his dad (a hydrangea) worked in the mines. both very rich people, a lot of money. they married and had him (his name at the time being mary) and his brother, sunshine (a sunflower)
something luckheart always wanted to do was be a hero of sorts - like a sheriff (important later)
however due to illness his father passed away when he was young and still liked to wear dresses. his mother grieved deeply for around a year and a half before beginning to date one of her old work friends (he is a tree) and his name is tom
tom was nice and luckheart liked him until he officially moved in and introduced HIS kids, maria (an acorn) and seth (a leaf). after that tom began treating him and sunshine like absolute dogshit - yelling, hitting walls, blaming them for everything, and essentially forced them to mature way faster than they needed
sunny didnt do very well though, as he had both adhd and autism, so yeah
tom would always tell these kids they were assholes, the scum of monsterkind, and that they would never amount to anything good.
luckheart put up with this very begrudgingly until he was about 16 and decided he didnt want to be mary, but instead wanted to be julian
and his stepdad did not like that. he told him that all he ever did was try to get attention from everyone, and that his only changes were temporary and never good anyway (this is important i swear)
so luckheart left in pure rage and swore that he would make himself a life that didnt rely on his asshole stepfather.
so he immediately went from having an allowance and access to many things to having nothing. and not even his mother. he knew she wouldnt be able to stand falling out of love again, so he let her be with tom.
before he left for good, mom and sunshine came to say their goodbyes. it was very emotional and luckheart promised he'd come back for sunny one day
that day hasnt come yet though since he couldnt find an employer and has had to steal things to sell and survive
he wishes he couldve kept his promise but cant
his mom still sends letters, but he cant bring himself to respond to her. maybe one day he could
and he still wants to see his brother too. he misses his lil sunshine. his best friend... its been 4 years and he knows he cant bring himself back to the house but he also needs a way to see them again
and he hates that he's become exactly what tom said he'd be. nothing good.
this is also why hes so out of it and hungry for positive attention. tom never showed any sort of care for him, and he was always told not to " annoy " her
this is also also why he allows a ton of interaction, he didnt really get a ton of it at his house
#luckheart#undertale yellow oc#lore time#muahahaha feel bad for this mf#note im projecting a bit here but im being really mean when i say his stepdads ab/sive#meanwhile mine is just kind of an asshole sometimes#anyways
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okay OKAY EARLIER I PLAYED ON THE PUBLIC LIFESTEAL SERVER AND IT WAS BASICALLY KINDA JUST survival Minecraft
I kinda started a base... Died (embarrasingly) and just .. couldnt find my way back, so now im down one heart AND lost and there's literally genuinely no trees near me like WHAT???
Bonus thingyy not glitch duo for once sighhhhh wemmbu and squiddo though, why couldnt they have a happy ending (/lh), it's so painful- also today i met a certified (canon) squiddo hater because she kinda betrayed wemmbu at the end of the nuke arc and that was... Interesting, we talked abt lifesteal for abit then they asked who my fav was so i was like "squiddo!! Yours?" And then they gave me this whole essay on why she's toxic (in lore) and why they dont like her it was genuinely mind blowing in a /pos way learning about someone's view on a character i probably have a lens over bcs they're my favourite and such.
- 🟪 (🌱) Anon
Anon hou are strongee than i am if i see a branzycraft hater i would have jumped them on the spot. I will be quite honest. /JOKE
But i get it.... Seeing someone else's perspective on something is soooo. Wow. Okay yeah i see it. I need to watch more wemmbu to be quite hinest with you but i have like 0 motivation to watch anything i dont particulalty have energy to 😭😭😭 ims orry wemmbu....
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//
When the leaves fell down
The weather was nice if a little cold
The evenings tore the sky in bright infernos
And tore me apart because I couldn't see them with you
//
When the leaves fell down
I fell sick for a while
Couldnt think straight for a while longer
Yet i thought of having nobody to talk to
The medicine was fine
The seething, boiling water was great
But what burned ever hotter
Was my eternal hatred towards fate
//
Sent me a meme on a thursday morning
Sent me spiralling into madness
Because i had just spent six months mourning
How did you think you could just come back
I hate you for all you did
And it took me so long to recognize your cold shoulder
Its quite the fault of mine, but i'll be bolder
And say that never telling me what or why
Was the greatest sin anyone ever did me by
//
I think back to when this began
It all started with a partial lie
And a promise you broke
And the way it ended was me asking
What about "us"? Are "we" still a thing?
Because its been a year since we had a proper conversation and im going insane my dear
And you said it had been over for a year and a half but i hadn't gotten "the memo"
That was all it took really
To lay my gutted corpse by the empty tree
//
So now i lay near this tree
All the while, its surviving with me
I think of how, really i was holding on too tight
Because no one else had treated me so right
Of course it didnt last
But i hated myself enough to keep the charade up
For a couple years far too long
And now i see, it was never about me
//
When the leaves fall down
I want someone with me to watch them fall
But it will never be you
Because all i see are your bloodstained hands
And i realise how you were never there when i needed you.
//
When the leaves fall down
I watch them fall with a smile on my face
And now all i will spend my life waiting for
Is someone who would treat me with grace.
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I am also normal about Guda so please tell me about the Guda ‼️
Firstly, song challenge:
youtube
Secondly:
Look i know we've all thought about Beast Guda a lot and we've all thought about Camazotz a lot but i don't think we've thought enough about how connected those two things are.
Every lostbelt, Guda spends the whole time helping the people there, trying to make their lives as long and happy as possible even though they know there's only way it can end. Every single time, it ends with the tree being cut, and the world fading away. Every time, the people within it don't die - they aren't killed - they simple cease to exist.
But we fight Camazotz.
Camazotz, who became a beast by absorbing so many people, until only he was left. By becoming the entirety of humanity's presence in that lostbelt. And we kill him.
Every time before, Guda got to do things their way; they got to say No when they were told by others that they couldnt win by showing mercy, that they had to be ruthless and kill everyone in their way. Guda was able to deny them that and let the tree do the work - they got to keep their sense of righteousness.
That ideal had to die to kill Camazotz.
They don't get to erase lostbelt 7 until they give that innocence up, because they have to kill all that world's humanity themselves if they want to survive.
#fgo#ritsuka fujimaru#character analysis#fgo camazotz#fgo spoilers#lostbelt 7 spoilers#ask challenge#music
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Stage 6
tw: self harm, mentions of suicide
How would I die? I wondered.
I had cut my skin, not too deep, not too shallow. My nails had drawn blood and that remained a surprise. I didnt know they could have done that. It was an errant thought, destroying my body along with my mind. It had poisoned me, body and soul and all I could think of was death.
I don't know when it started, it was like a slide perhaps. I didn't know I was falling before I could help it. Perhaps it was because of Coeur. No. She could never. she didn't do this to me. I did.
I was bleeding hard. It was pretty crimson, it had white highlights. I knew if I fainted No one could help me. The doors were locked, the Windows closed and my mother would not be home for a long while. It’d be long before that that I would die.
It was bravery at last. I could take the knife to my own skin. I didn’t cut any major arteries, the cut would have left a nasty scar but I would survive. I know that.
It was cowardice at first, I couldnt take the knife. It terrified me. My soul shuddered and my entire existence fainted before me. I didn’t want to die. I don’t want to die. Perhaps there was something yet alive within me. Perhaps I Could still utter words and perhaps there was still meaning in life.
Hope was useless to me. A feeling so deeply known to me which now stood to be so foreign. I had feigned for hope in others only to give it up myself. What had happened, and so quickly. It was only days before that I was beside Coeur on that starry night, and yet here i had now stood. In my room, doors to the house locked and bleeding to my death.
Was this how I would die?
The cursed hope in me looked up again. What would it take to kill it. How does one kill hope?
I did not want to live anymore. The stars in my skies had all but vanished, The colours of the world had seemed so dull now. The sounds so distant, the yellows had faded to a dull brown. The blacks had shallowed into a puddle and the crimson remained bright on my arm.
I had to live, I didn't know why but I did. Even after everything I had to; and so I played into hope’s hand. Death would have to wait. It could not yet have a taste of my soul. I would live, I would breath, I would still see the colours of the world bright in the sky and I would still breathe in Coeurs Breath. I could still do it.
Coeur was not gone yet, She could still survive. My depression as strong as it was, its pull like riptide in a ocean would have to wait. I could still swim, I had in my arms strength still to paddle away, and so i did.
I put pressure on my wound. I stood up and found a piece of long cloth and held it on my arm. The pressure almost had me faint, the pain almost too unbearable yet I still kept it on, I tied it on my arm tight, and hoped that hope had the strength to fulfil its promise of my life. Had the strength to not take away the evening sunshine it held on my face and that I would live.
After a while the bleeding stopped, I didnt know how long i had lain there bleeding but now the evening sunshine had started to pour through my window. The trees flowing, their shadows leafy dancing in the sun like lovers on beat. The wind their musician, forever playing the music, carrying their existence in a waltz of trees.
I stood up and went into the washroom to wash off the wound. I disinfected it and took great care not to cut it again. I hid it under a long sleeved shirt and waited for my mother to arrive. I waited for her to arrive and seize my hope again. To cage it in and not let it escape till I was alone again. Loneliness had bought me hope to live, and like the two bladed sword it had wanted for me to die.
Loneliness had me in handcuffs, it was my captor not too unlike my mother. But unlike her it kept my hope running wild, and yet in moments of windy depression it pulled so hard that the walls would close in, and hope would faint. In those moments of deep discomfort came the tears, They weren’t my weakness. Since my birth they had been a sign that I was alive, and so I let them flow in self pity; as much as i desired for me to be strong. To overthrow my loneliness. As many people I would have talked to, as many words I chose to speak in crowds and in whispered silences it would follow me. It would hide in the shadows and whisper when i would be alone. Words poisonous that i let into my heart. Words that eventually poisoned my mind, whispers that screamed at me, unloved unloved unloved. Lies for I was loved. I knew of it and yet loneliness haunted my days, until I would sleep, and then I would see it in my dreams. Sometimes Lurking in the same shadows and Sometimes Louder than what I could bear to hear. And in my haunted dreams I would back into corners I could not get out of only to wake up in a sweat. It whispered a scream in my head, but My heart shut it down, and I would be free.
I wanted to visit Coeur tomorrow, It was getting too loud in my head and so I slept at night hopeful for brighter tomorrows, and unnoticed scars for I had not the words I could justify to my mother.
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