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immaculatesnz · 9 months ago

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Way too many Bai//zhu hcs because... well... just look at my blog

not that loud but definitely desperate + forceful

like, gripping the nearest surface, knocking off his glasses forceful

would probably be spelled with italics iykwim

5/10 volume, 6/10 pitch, 5/10 wetness

breathy buildups that stutter (?) before the release sometimes (I suck at spelling but I hope you know what I mean)

fairly good at holding back but cannot stifle to save his life (but tries anyways, to varying degrees of success ranging from half-stifling to just sounding more repressed)

usually covers with his elbow, but will use the back of his hand if it catches him off guard

fits of 2-3 but can be (read: definitely) more if sick/particularly irritated (which, unfortunately, happens a lot)

longer fits can leave him winded and having to sit down afterwards, and just overall a disheveled mess

always always always excuses himself and blesses others

sneezed in front of a patient once, they blessed him and asked if he was feeling okay, and he got all flustered and was like "It's my job to worry about your health, not the other way around..."

somewhat sensitive to pollen and strong scents, meaning he has to be careful when working with certain herbs

used to be a lot worse, but managed to build tolerance after years of exposure (part of the reason why he's so good at holding back)

idk why but I also feel like he would be sensitive to cold weather

doesn't have the kink but would indulge his partner's if they asked, and would prefer to be the one doing the inducing

hear me out, he'd be really good at it too due to his knowledge of the human body and stuff (also something something him having a den//dro vision means the possibilities are endless)

should go without saying but catches colds easily (and catches them HARD)

(more general sickfic hcs under cut)

the most stubborn patient ever; everyone who cares about him literally has to beg him to rest (I mean come on he's literally the "puts everyone before themselves to the point of self sacrifice" trope)

aside from that, actually isn't that demanding, doesn't really ask for anything (unless it's reassurance that he isn't useless/weak/whatever self-deprecating thing he believes being vulnerable makes him)

so you know the quote about people trying so hard not to be a burden to others that they become one anyways?

that pretty much sums it up

can't decide whether he'd be clingy or just want to be left alone bc both are fun to think about

actually scratch that he would try to get his caretaker to leave and be all "you shouldn't have to see me like this" but would just go with it if they were to hug him

(and would stay hugging them for longer than either of them expect because he's deeply touch starved and doesn't even know it)

at some point would just pass out for the rest of the day and sleep off the whole thing

I just need to see someone care about him the way he cares about others is that too much to ask?

as you can see I totally got carried away but yeah I hope this was a good enough first contribution to the fandom

#no one asked for these but idc i'm posting them anyways #if you couldn't tell by now he's my fav #snz #snzblr #sneeze kink #genshin snzpact #that's our tag right?

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m0tel6mxzzy · 2 years ago

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rue bennett, ginny miller, and lack of nuanced perception in how mental illness in black women works

i think the tragedy of euphoria (if i had to list just one) is partially the fandom’s lack of understanding of rue, leslie, and gia…cultural attitudes in the black community have a lot to do w why leslie acts the way she does. and then race is never mentioned bc sam levinson doesn’t comprehend the nuances of race and mental health in the black community.

he can comprehend addiction, but nothing like the fact rue being a black woman will have her heavily stigmatized by the black community as well as the predominantly white one she lives in as her “proving black stereotypes.”

that just hits a lot harder knowing in the beginning of s1, she has zero hope and so it feels very hollow when lexi encourages her sobriety, and again in s2 from jules when she’s going thru withdrawals. she is tired of being the scapegoat by everyone around her, even if they have valid reasons for wanting her to get clean and she is making decisions that harm others. and she feels during the s2 interaction with cassie that she is being pitied, simply cannot take it anymore, and retaliates bc she is just so tired of everyone around her being believed to be innocent and pure when they are not, and her being expected to be even in the throes of addiction and it being perceived as “not her.”

bc in a sense, rue is not her addiction. however, she’s lived with it so long that she is used to it, practically revels in the deviant label her entire schools mocks her with, and thus feels like she cannot leave. jules conflicts with this, because she cares for rue as a friend and romantically but is not going to associate with her if she continues. but even when she is sober, people like nate are shit talking her efforts to stay clean when they simply have no idea what she’s gone through, yet jules is proud of her despite rue finding it hard to stay clean. cassie only does the same as nate because she needs a defense for having gotten with him but not taking accountability for how that hurt maddy, even if she was right rue’s friendship with lexi was incredibly toxic and transactional. the issue here is everyone has valid points abt rue except for nate, but no one is seeing the nuances of her situation. it’s either “she’s good because she’s clean” or “she’s bad because she’s not” and jules seemed to be the only one blurring that line because she’s dealt with addiction in her family before.

leslie kind of reminds me of my mom in that she did help me thru mental issues, but it was a very “deviant” thing to do bc of how in most of black american society, racism is seen as something you need to be “stronger” than and thus stronger than any other obstacle. so realistically, some black ppl in rue’s extended family might actually ridicule her or attribute her addiction to personal flaws or solely her father’s death. rue is an atheist, but also her mother was this religious church girl in her youth and rue is seen in church settings during rehab. there’s a possibility leslie didn’t even tell others abt rue’s hospitalizations or if she did and word got around, she had to fabricate some sort of lie so rue would not be judged for her addiction.

and ppl perceive leslie as “overreacting” as they do gia and that’s very suspicious to me. idk like, as compared to ginny and georgia ginny has severe depression and georgia is like, praised for a lot of the manipulative shit she says to ginny when that’s a huge contribution to her mental issues not being resolved for as long as they were in the first place. i personally think a lot of the g&g fandom missed the point of the show—georgia is not perfect. loving your kids does not mean they don’t get to feel traumatized when you admit to murdering their step father. generational trauma is a thing and you cannot love someone into not acknowledging or feeling their extent of their own.

ginny and georgia somewhat makes that distinction in the therapy sessions by explaining bc georgia is white there is a lot of experiences she cant understand ginny has, so she cant just invalidate them. however the fandom is so corny and anti black that they will compare ginny’s trauma to georgia’s to undermine her. and then praise georgia for doing what she should’ve done as a parent which is support ginny and complain how ginny should be “more grateful to have her.” and say the same abt her father. that truly just paints an insidious lack of compassion for black women dealing w/ mental health issues. bc abby and marcus, dealing with their own, have quite never been given such animosity for having mental issues, they’ve actually been given much more sympathy.

#y’all. this took me 45 minutes to write #euphoria hbo #ginny and georgia #rue bennett #ginny miller #mazzy makes a giant ramble

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box-dwelling · 1 year ago

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So I was thinking the one thing I can use my degree to contribute to this fandom with is to include whatever the fuck the fake chemical Ema mentions in turnabout corner is and it's actually funny as fuck. Anyway grain of salt, I'm still in the process of getting my degree and won't be certified scientist for a few years so like, I may and probably will fuck up but hey this is a fake chemical and it's mostly just cute wordplay so.

The chemical is hydroxyacelunodosetrase.

So I'm going to break down the boring bits first. So hydroxy is an OH group. Very common. Insanely. Basically just here to denote that this is a chemical to lay people because of how common this is. Acel is a little weird. But Ace normally means a hydrocarbon chain with a length of 2 and sometimes you do need to add on stuff for pronouncablity but I think it's a deliberate misspelling (because ace like ace attorney) of an acyl group which is a C=O group but honestly outside of very specific circumstances specific it's not thaaaat common in chemical names because it doesn't provide as much utility as denoting a more specific subset of acyl groups like a ketone, aldehyde, ester or carboxylic acid group but it is still used especially when denoting ions or free radicals or especially when bonded to a halogen. So the fact it's needing to be notated puts my lab alarm off screaming "shit look into this before using it, it could be dangerous" because that normally means its reactive as fuuuuuck. Acyl groups as a whole are pretty reactive, that double bond to oxygen likes very much to no longer be a double bond but there are a lot of configurations that will make it a little more stable. If it need to be notated as such it's probably not in one of those. Very funny given its used in context as a threat.

The only other part of it that is chemically coherent is the trase suffix. (Edit edit fuck I think what I'm thinking of is ase as a suffix which means enzyme. I do not know where the tr is coming from) It's I believe common in enzymes but I am not a biochemist nor very good at biochemistry and I cannot find a source on Google backing that up and it is just coming from my brain so I may well be wrong. What matters though is how it's pronounced. Which is the same as Tres. Which makes the last 2 bits make more sense. Chemistry uses Greek numbering. The rabbit hole of chemical naming is deep and I'm not getting into it because there are multiple naming systems and one of them is standardised and the other one is actually the thing everyone uses. But Uno is not a thing in chemical names. Neither is dose but it's probably ment to be like a dose as in a drug dose. Again not found in the name it's self but I think that's why it's spelt like that. But the upshot is that the last 3 parts are pronounced Uno dos Tres which is obviously 123 in Spanish. It's cute.

So basically in conclusion it's not a real thing at all. It's all word play and it's would probably be pretty nasty even if it wasn't. I think it's cute. I'm glad some thought was put into this fake chemical instead of just a keyboard spam.

#ace attorney #ema skye #turnabout corner #aa4 #hydroxyacelunodosetrase

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asachuu · 1 year ago

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A lot of people are talking about Arthur’s age right now to the point even I know about it from under my rock, but instead of stating the obvious and simply assuming everyone is in on everything already, I’ll just ask this: what is actually so unbelievable about him being 27? I’ve heard folks say that it would mean he would be 15-16 at the time of joining his organization, which is indeed correct, but somehow, this comes as a surprise or something unacceptable, and I don’t understand why? The two literal fandom favorites, Dazai and Chuuya, met at fifteen years old when one was a mafia member already and the other joined at the same age, and no one seems to find that unbelievable?

Anyway, since I have my two cents on this matter, I have to shove the rest of this under the cut, but please bear with me here.

I presume people are mostly shocked for that reason, though do correct me if I’m wrong— I do see how it could be inconceivable to think of his whole entire background, memories, memoir and so on as being attributed to a 15-19 year old instead of someone far older, but if that’s due to any other reason than it simply not meeting expectations thanks to some former headcanons, I’m not too sure why. Obvious Fifteen parallels aside, it’s not as if BSD is some light-hearted series where characters going through incredibly harsh events we cannot even imagine have to be of legal age and in perfect circumstances to be able to handle it— I suppose some could be wondering about that aspect, but it would match up with the whole feel and plot of the story, and no part of it feels out of place. I’ll admit I used to believe Arthur was 36-37 at the time of his death as I didn’t know of his age either, but upon seeing he was a decade younger, I didn’t exactly think it to be nonsense for the sake of him being “too young”, and not to mention, this would also mirror his IRL counterpart, being 16 at the time of meeting Verlaine— which you absolutely could say is too young, considering the entire story between them, but it did happen, and BSD is based on the real-life authors after all— so I don’t see any argument against this which truly makes sense, all things considered.

That aside, I will say that Arthur’s canonical age specifically matters to me, unlike some other characters’ ages, and perhaps my reasoning could be a shared one that contributes to some of this confusion, and that is because it does change the perspective of Fifteen/Stormbringer to quite an extent. I had a whole post drafted about this already a week ago, but it seems to be even more relevant now, so I’ll just throw a part of it here and the rest in a reblog to not derail too much.

In my opinion, if one is to read Arthur’s memoir from Stormbringer, it feels much different to think of it as written by an adult as opposed to a teenager, purely because of its content— the character who has no family to return to, no loved ones or friends or even personal feelings he is allowed to have due to his job, the one who is overjoyed to finally have a partner whom he could make any difference to and who is already prepared to be forgotten after his death anyway, is not actually fully grown up, which maybe some are having a hard time accepting, I’m not too certain.

To me, this view on the story is indeed a lot sadder, especially if one is to consider his only partner betrayed him at 19 instead of whatever other theory could be in place, alongside all else I won’t be mentioning here as I believe I wrote a long enough essay about those two as is, but I don’t think any of it is strange or odd-sounding. If I may, in my personal opinion, I actually believe it makes far more sense, and not because it once again would align with his IRL counterpart even here— no, rather considering his behavior in Fifteen of desperately trying to find a way to remember his best yet only friend, likely because he hadn’t had anyone by his side from such a young age and clearly latched onto the first person he could have had alongside him, which could be a fully applicable theory even if you hadn’t seen the pair in any unrequited romantic contexts that could have been his motive. Does it make the story far more sorrowful? Yes. But does it make the story nonsense and unbelievable? Absolutely not. At this point, I would be so much more surprised if he wound up actually being 37 as I and what I suspect is a decent amount of others guessed at first, because in that case, I would somewhat understand the other side to my arguments— I still wouldn’t agree with them as I never did, even in the past when I didn’t have any extra information, but I could potentially see where they’re coming from at the very least.

I’ll just briefly acknowledge that perhaps some saw the memoir implying Arthur being more of Paul’s mentor at the time, being much older and wiser than him as would be expected, but I don’t think this was ever anyhow highlighted in the novels to make it clear that Arthur could be considered as such entirely— it was only said he would be the one to raise him, which I admit would not leave me assuming the given character is 15, but all things considered, it still aligns with everything above. I also have to acknowledge that in Fifteen, he is referred to as an “older” member of the Port Mafia, but I believe that refers to the eight years he spent in it, and was not meant to be an indicator of his actual age at the time, although compared to Chuuya and Dazai back then, perhaps 27 could indeed be seen as older in a very relative sense. Still, neither of these things are a direct contradiction to his supposed age, and while I’m not here to “prove” he’s 27 or 37 or whatever else one could assume, since I don’t have any other source of information other than the S3 guidebook and don’t have any reason to come up with alternative theories, hence why I choose to trust it unless official sources state otherwise, I’m only here because it surprises me how many people are shocked by this, as if many other characters in BSD weren’t in the same exact age range at the time of drastic or serious events happening around them/to them. I assume that, for some, this is merely something which goes against their personal headcanons or is just wholly unexpected, with nothing more in-depth sitting behind it, at whom this post is not aimed whatsoever, but I saw some saying it doesn’t even fit into canon at all, which…how, exactly? Because I don’t see it at all.

#text post #bungou stray dogs #bsd fifteen #bsd arthur rimbaud #randou #bsd stormbringer #bsd storm bringer #asachuu

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shukakumoodboard · 11 months ago

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anon i hope you are able to find this because you asked my original blog and i’m trying to stealthily migrate so my irls can't find me dkgjhfkjl

answers below the cut <3

would you like some fandomy thoughts?

1. list 3 positive things about your current fandom(s) [which ofc im answering for gaalee]

the discord i'm in for it is the highlight of my day and forms approximately 65% of my social life! who knew you could hyperfixate on some gay ninjas and as a result, end up visiting people irl and getting christmas cards and making incredible friends all over the world? pretty sure i have standing invites to homes in at least 3 different countries rn. incredible

fic quality is fuckin'. superior. and i'm not saying that because i write, i'm saying that as a reader. it's a smallish fandom and yet there's folks who can write full-length novels like @sagemoderocklee and @the-moss-project, people who can write every possible trope and au greyson's georg @ghoste-catte and @urieskooki and so many others i couldn't list them all. it's beyond obvious that the authors who write the gaalees are SO passionate about them. writers i lov you evryday

seguing from that into art!?!? pleas i have a dragon hoard of fanart only for my fics and there's over 100 pieces. A HUNDRED ARE TIOYU GIKISDINDIGME. giving u all a kissy rn. also the way i can get on discord and get immediately smacked in the face with bespoke paneenis liike every day help. gheelpp don't look at me. i will save my money and commission every one of u if its the last htign i do

2. a headcanon you weren’t sure about at first but have come to like!

oho! ready for this one? i was initially not super on board with hairy!lee. what was i on actually. me, a Wrong, and now i will purposefully include it in every fic as a sign of penance for my sins

3. answered!

4. say something nice about a ship you don’t ship (it can be another ship in your fandom, a mutual’s OTP, etc)

those who know me know that i strictly see leesaku as a brOTP, like those dudes are buddies to me. but that being said, i think leesaku as a romantic pairing is far healthier for sakura than her canon partner. lee is capable of so much love and forgiveness and they do parallel each other so much as the like... "underdog"/non-gifted member of their respective teams. she deserves love and support and understanding and lee would be genuinely ideal for it.

5. something you see in fics a lot and love

sunans (and team gai) being multilingual. oml one of my fave headcanons. you cannot tell me these different countries with different isolated villages are all casually speaking the same language when in big chunks of nart they didn't even like. get along properly. i loooove the concept of a shinobi common tongue and regional languages. further on that same thing, given team gai is pretty chinese-coded, i think it makes sense that they'd also be speaking another langauge, whether taught by gai or just because of their own independent histories or whatever. @sagemoderocklee has some truly stunning worldbuilding and it where i got my love for this hc from <3

6. something you see in art a lot and love

h-h-h-hHEIGHT DIFFERENCEEEEEEE

ok joking aside i refuse to believe gaara made it past like 5'3" that man did not sleep for his whole adolescence. conversely lee was probably on the Optimum Macros and that healthy eating would 100% contribute to maximum height gains etc. that man deserves to be 6 feet tall, that's my opinion and im right

thank you so much for the opportunity to gush about my blorbos <3

#gaalee #gaara #rock lee #team gai #leesaku #sakura haruno #fictalk #answers #writing gronp hours #also if anyone i @ed is like who dis itsa me kel

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moookar · 1 year ago

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just finished w359 last night

here are my thoughts

Hi this podcast might have changed me as a person a little bit

I REALLY REALLY enjoy it if that wasn't clear

This is the first story in a while--maybe ever?--where I genuinely cannot pick a favorite (or even least favorite!) character. They are all so well written where that feels pointless

At first I didn't really take Maxwell, Jacobi, and Kepler seriously as characters because I thought:

"hey. they're antagonistic characters introduced much later in the series. there is no way these guys will live more than a season"

BOY OH BOY DO I REGRET THAT

Hey, better to save some of the better treats for later on, right? Now on my relisten, I get to fully analyze how they act!

Well, "relisten" might be wrong. I plan to read through the scripts so I can see the sound design notes

I skimmed the "Are Space Suits Itchy?" mini episode's script yesterday and something came to light for me

Doug Eiffel is so similar to my dad (this is not the news) that I ended up using my same "filter out half of what he says because it's just media references" skill on him

This is HORRIBLE because I missed gems like THIS:

"It would be inappropriate for me to share with a third-grader what I would do for a slice of pineapple and ham, but I promise it's very, very degrading."

I heard that for the first time and didn't even register it because being raised by someone exactly like Eiffel makes you very very very good at unconsciously ignoring stuff like that

Speaking of fatherhood and this podcast, I love whatever the heck Jacobi and Kepler have going on. Their mini episode? I was doubled over from how sweet that was. Fucked up father and son duo of all time!

Sudden topic change!! This show got me really into scifi. I've always been into spec fic, but kept my domain firmly in the fantasy category. Now I'm checking out and actually reading multiple books from the library like I'm 10 again! This is awesome! Thank you, W359!

This... this is the fabled story without a single romantic subplot. My deprived aromantic heart can't believe it. Normally I just feel thankful for an obligatory romantic subplot actually contributing to the themes in a minor way, but W359 showed me a beautiful world. I was seriously waiting for the obligatory love confession between two characters who have less chemistry the entire show and especially the last episode, but wow. I am genuinely so happy!

Oh, I also have plans to draw how I picture all the characters from my fandom-untouched eyes. (I've never opened the w359 tag before and only seen like 3 pieces of fan art by accident). I always find new people's designs very fun to look at and I'm hoping it's the same for other people. So look out for that!

That's all <3 thank you for reading. I'd love to talk about this podcast more btw if you want to

#moo's words #w359 #wolf 359 #the last episode had me sobbing btw. Very well written

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clumsyclifford · 2 years ago

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2022 Writing Evaluation

hi i dug this up from the archives of this time last year because it was fun to do and i wanted to give other writers a chance to reflect if they’re so inclined! so here is my 2022 writing self-evaluation. point of order, i’m mostly filling this out specifically for my bellawritess ao3 and all the rpf stuff i write, not my other secret ao3 where i put fics written about fictional media. okay, onward.

1. number of stories posted on ao3: 23!

2. word count posted for this year: 117,763

3. fandoms i wrote for: 5sos, atl, and 1d (but also teen wolf, mcu spiderman, hawkeye, and daredevil)

4. pairings: cake, lashton, malum, jalex, narry, halex (you know that very popular harry styles/alex gaskarth ship), and mirry.

5. story with the most kudos/bookmarks/comments: the answer to all three of these criteria is a change of heart and a silver lining, my winter 2021-22 fic exchange fic, which makes me very happy. i cannot believe that fic was from last year, january feels like forever ago but i love love love that specific work so much, in large part because of how much i was able to tailor it to meg as reciprocation for all the times and ways she tailored things to me.

6. work i’m most proud of (and why): i’m gonna say a three-way tie between (1) i got a radar for trouble (and you’re a renegade), (2) between all the gasping i finally breathe, and (3) play it again and again and again. #1 is the cruel summer prequel fic that i always half-jokingly said i would one day write and then surprised myself by actually writing, and i am incredibly proud of how well i managed to recreate the vibes of cruel summer fic but also write a prequel that made sense with the direction the actual cruel summer story took. #2 was one of the first legit fics i wrote to break myself out of this big 5sos fic slump i had been in (consequence of a perfect storm of a lot of small things), and i may have gotten lost in the metaphor sauce but i maintain that the metaphors are really fucking good which was gratifying to me as a writer who had felt like maybe i’d lost my real writing skill before then. #3 is the christmas fic i wrote for hazel, and what i’m most proud of there is that i fuckin actually wrote that. my love for my friends carried me through the warfields of attempting to romanticize christmas, and in so doing i think i actually learned something about christmas, ugh i feel like i’m getting less jewish every second i spend talking about this but i really am proud of myself for writing that and even moreso because i think i tailored it pretty well to hazel’s taste and that made me happy. it was like an extra challenge i set myself and then i did it well.

7. work i’m least proud of (and why): pretty much all the prompt fics from this year’s batch, tbh. this malum roommates one is really funny if you imagine you’re a fly on the wall of mine and megs’s dorm room but it’s the most nothing fic on the planet otherwise, and you’re my whole house is cute but again, literally nothing. unfortunately these were written while i was binge watching seinfeld which probably contributed to how much they were About Nothing but that’s no excuse.

8. share or describe a favorite review you received: i’m super terrible at remembering comments and stuff that people leave me but a few days ago i got a comment on yssdf saying it was one of the best love stories they’d ever read and that just about knocked my socks off

9. a time when writing was really, really hard: from aboutttt february to september, which is pretty obvious when you notice that i didn’t post a fic (on this account) between march 18th and september 27th of this year. i hit that aforementioned slump in a big way and i was also busy with life stuff and i was also just. unmotivated and uninspired! but in that time i wasn’t really doing a lot of writing to struggle with. something that was actively hard to write was definitely parts of the jet lag songfic i wrote for the fest. megs and hazel both experienced various aspects of my intense battle with Plot and Characters. it was not pretty.

10. a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: luke in the muke college beach fic!!! he was so much more gutsy than (a) he’s usually written and (b) i expected him to be. and tbh, michael in that fic also kind of surprised me, although less so because he was based on a real guy i know, so it was more like trying to delve into the fictionalized mind of a real human being i go to school with and understand what it is that makes him only APPEAR to be an asshole and in reality maybe actually have a heart of gold. if that makes sense. character work but the character is based on a real person who is based on a real person. meta af.

11. a favorite excerpt of your writing: ill be the first to admit im a sucker for when there’s a song playing in the in-universe fic scene and then the lyrics tie into the moment. i have that in two fics that i can think of, so here they both are:

(1) from everywhere, everything:

Luke is trembling when he looks up at Ashton, but he only nods. Tilts their foreheads together.

Say it’s me that you’ll adore— Sinatra sings, and then there’s a scratch and a crack, and the whole record player crashes through the glass tabletop.

(the end of that lyric is “for now and evermore” !!!! HOW FUCKED IS THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

(2) from faith in a stolen car (the jean jacket songfic i just wrote for the fest):

Calum’s rumbling laugh shook both of them as Springsteen vowed I’ll love you with all the madness in my soul, and Ashton sang along in a silly voice so Calum knew he meant it with everything he had.

[and]

He turned up the music, and ‘No Surrender’ blared out of the surround sound. The lines that had been stampeding around Ashton’s brain since Calum had first swept him up in tonight’s teenage delinquency now screamed against the wind in his ears.

Ashton smiled wider than his face could handle and screamed right back.

“WE MADE A PROMISE WE SWORE WE’D ALWAYS REMEMBER,” Calum’s voice joined his, and together they beat back the deafening gales; “NO RETREAT, BABY, NO SURRENDER!”

12. how did you grow as a writer this year? this year i learned the importance of conflict. “hey bella, didn’t you learn that in seventh grade english?” YES but then i IGNORED it and now i have relearned it in a fanfiction context and in the broader sense that i now understand every story has a conflict and more than that, a story needs a conflict, because that’s what drives it. after i finished writing those prompt fics, i thought, damn, these are fun but nothing is fucking happening in any of them. i wonder why that is! and then i realized. there was no conflict. i was writing “scenes” but nothing interesting within those scenes, so there was nothing pulling the characters from point A (the start of the scene) to point B (its conclusion) and as a result they all became meandering blocks of text with no goal or direction. anyway. point being that i have embraced conflict as a necessary factor in storytelling and i hope this will mean no more seinfeldian fics, prompt or otherwise.

13. how do you hope to grow next year? yes <3 jk but i sincerely have no idea, i don’t have any current ideas on how i plan to grow next year i just very much intend to grow. how it happens is anyone’s guess

14. who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc)? gotta be a tie between megs @igarbagecannoteven and hazel @allsassnoclass. obviously megs is my #1 rubber duck roomie, whether she likes it or not, and she has helped me solve more problems than i am comfortable admitting. actually i’m very comfortable admitting it megs has untangled a myriad of fic knots on many occasions this year she is the best rubber duck in the world. and hazel has become my virtual rubber duck which is great because it means i have all my bases covered! truly these two are a dynamic duo because they will both just let me sit there and complain and yet always have the right thing to say.

15. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year? as always, a great many things. make the same mistakes ‘til the morning breaks and the muke college beach fic are both inspired by things that happened with this one guy i know from school (yes, the same guy, and yes, he is represented by michael both times, and no, i do not know why it happened like that). the latter came from just a single snap i saw on his snap story, and none of the fic is actually based on real events, but the former is HEAVILY based on real events between this guy and one of my good friends at school. lmao!

i’ve been wishing i could breathe underwater is based on my experience scuba diving, which is to say, pure unmitigated terror, 1/10, do not recommend except to say that you did it. tequila shots from the dark scene of the crime is chock-full of baseball talk, specifically about Worst Team In Baseball the Washington Nationals (affectionate), so those feelings are straight from my heart. the concept of tell me what to see has not happened to me but it was very much inspired by my experience of getting in the habit of working out and realizing your muscles are literally increasing in size. the christmas fic has all my jewish disdain for christmas. that’s the shortlist, i think!

16. any new wisdom you can share with other writers? honestly, nope! i think other writers are thriving on their own fic journeys, as i am on mine. you guys seem to have a handle on things. i can reiterate my vehement loathing of comma splices or otherwise incorrectly-placed commas, but other than that i don’t have much to offer in the way of wisdom.

17. any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year? yes!! i am really excited to (hopefully) finish this fic ive been intermittently writing that is based on back together by tss. well, actually it’s based on the specific energy that was created in the world when back together and 2011 were released on the same night. it’s a tss!5sos au. it’s going to be really good okay. it’s tasty. and as always i hope to finish summer camp au i am dead fucking set on finishing that fic there is no question in my mind that it will be completed someday sooner rather than later i hope but definitely eventually. aside from those, i can’t think of any other fic plans i have! just gonna see where the winds of fic fate take me.

18. tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: @igarbagecannoteven @allsassnoclass @kaleidoscopeminds @burstingsunrise @cringeycal (?) <3

#stuff #tag games #fic talk #it's 3:20am im going the fuck to sleep #tomorrow is going to stress me out so much #ive been experiencing low-grade but slowly-growing levels of stress for the past week or two about this trip #and now it's. now i'm leaving in TWO DAYS and jesus christ im nervous #i am so stupid for this #for everything #it's going to be fine #ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh gay fucking fear!!!!!!!#goodnight

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5sycho-girl · 6 months ago

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FT Island: how I got into them Part 1/2

The song that got me interested: Pray

FT Island is probably the fandom that I have been into for the longest. I got into them when they were promoting "pray" in 2015 for their album "I will". Rock was such a rare genre in the mainstream Korean music scene, so I was amazed when I heard the song and immediately decided that I love this group.

Falling deeper

It was later when I did my research on the group, that I realised that the song was produced and written by the members, which made me love them more. They had participated in music making for their previous albums too, but it was the first time that their title track was a rock song and more importantly, it was a song that was produced by one of the members.

It was a really meaningful song for them even though it didn't perform very well on the charts as most koreans didn't like rock. Therefore, it must be fate !!! as it was the song that make me get into the fandom!

I am just really happy that I have discovered a Korean group that make their own music and when I listen to other songs that are produced by the members, I also realised that they are not afraid to experiment with different styles and genres and all the music they made are quality music!!!!

Breaking the stereotype: Not just an idol band

Well, actually I knew FT Island way before but never really actually got into them since I had believed that they were just a stereotypical "idol boy band" that only had the looks and can't make their own music.

But it was "pray" that broke the image I have about FT Island and made me do all the research about the group, which make me realise how wrong I was.

They are a true band indeed, in both ability and spirit. It's true that when the company debuted them, they had promoted the group as a "idol flower boy band" and controlled all the music-making for their early albums, forcing them to perform music that the company thinks will appeal to the public.

However, the members knew that they didn't want to be just the company's puppet and wanted to be true artists/musicians that make their own music and are in control of their music. So they started writing music by themselves and convinced the company to add the songs into their albums as sides.

Finally, all their hard work and efforts paid off in "I will", when they got the company's approval to make a song ,that is produced by one of the members, the title track of the album, and the song was "pray".

And from then on, they started to have more power over their music and nowadays they have complete control over their albums.

The Shock: Leader Jonghoon's conviction & departure

The members have put in blood, sweat and tears to achieve the success they have today. They not only heavily invested in music producing which are all of high quality (hongki even created a whole music production team with money out of his own pocket), but they also spent a lot of time honing their instrumental skills/techniques.

As of early 2019, I was such a proud primadonna for being able to be a fan of such a wonderful band, and I was convinced that the band will continue till forever, fulfilling their wish of playing music till they reach their 60s 😂.

Then the shocking news came and Jonghoon announced that he is leaving the group. It was a rude shock for me and the other members of the group. It didn't helped that I was a great fan of Jung Joon Young and the show 2 days 1 night season 3 at the same time.

Junghoon's departure had a really great detrimental impact on the group's performance morale and music. No matter what he did, we cannot deny the fact that he had contributed greatly to the team. He is a really talented guitarist (in charge of the important and difficult guitar parts) and music producer/maker(some of the best songs of the band and most of rock songs are produced by him), and his departure is a great loss for the team.

Seunghyun's departure

Amongst the members, his departure from the band affected Seunghyun, the other guitarist of the team, the most. It put tremendous pressure and stress on him specifically, as he had to change his position from rhythm guitar to lead guitar in no time... having to practice lead guitar parts for all their songs and be also responsible for rearranging all the guitar parts that were meant for 2 guitarists to 1 guitarist. Moreover, they had a Japanese tour in jusr a month after Jonghoon suddenly left. I am sure that he had thought long and hard before finally decided he will be leaving the band. I don't fault him for his decision. I am just really really sad, I didn't want to admit it, but seunghyun's departure really marked the end of an era for the band and also end of my teenage years.

FT Island is still producing great music, but it just doesn't feel the same anymore. But no matter what I will stand by them till do the very end. I will support them as long as they keep producing music!!!

#ft island

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starvinginbelair · 7 months ago

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gonna jump onto this because as a double major in criminology/sociology, who literally researched similar topics this year, i have a few thoughts on the whole situation.

before i start though, i want to be make it clear though that prior to these allegations coming out i was a pretty big all time low fan, so some of what i say could be interpreted with a level of bias. i'm stating that outright here and now though, because i'm going to try to be as objective as possible on the topic, but i know that it's impossible for me to remove that fact from my analysis and discussion. bias is inherently embedded in all of us, whether we like it or not.

(1) 5sos + safe songs for women

my big research project this semester was actually investigating how portrayals of romantic love have changed since the turn of the century in popular music. you'll be glad and happy to know that moving throughout the late 2000s into the 2010s, women are generally less likely to be sexually objectified. 5sos, of course, have very few songs where i'd say this a problem at all, and they're actually a great reflection of the rapidly moving times that are responding to the effects of third wave feminism and #MeToo. yes, it was at one point very rare (especially the early 2000s when rap and hip/hop music were at the forefront of the popular music) but now, it's increasingly less prevalent. so great catch on that one op! i'd definitely agree.

(2) the allegations + lawsuit

sorry to take a hard left turn, but it has to be done. like op said, we cannot necessarily say that jack barakat and all time low are rapists because we have no clue if they actually did some of the things they are to have alleged to have done. of course, i believe victims and i truly do believe that there is a possibility, and honestly a likelihood, that it could very much could have. but with only a story, that has now been deleted, it's very difficult to tell what the facts of the case actually are. it is always going to be a situation where only two parties are aware of what actually went on, and it's up to the discretion of the audience on who to believe. people often only believe what they want to anyways.

that being said, the fact that all time low believes they have enough evidence to build a defamation/civil case upon these allegations is interesting within itself. it's a horrible pr move, especially with the aggression they made their first statement, and all subsequent statements with. it makes me think that there must be a level of truth to this, if they are willing to go at it so vehemently, and even now, a few years removed from the first allegation, with trying to promote jack so heavily again to rehab his image when he contributes very little to the band itself still (few writing credits on albums, doesn't produce, barely even tracks guitar anymore). on top of that, even advocates of the criminal justice system itself have stated that it has proven incompetent in dealing with cases of sexual assault, harassment, and rape, and that offenders often get off easier than expected. so them going this route screams to me that there is, at least in some manners, something that they are trying to hide about all of this.

but at the same time, that aggression, and subsequent response from social media is intriguing as well. because, whilst i can understand being a victim and not wanting to go through a complex, lengthy, and expensive legal battle, with someone who has enormous amounts of power over you and would likely win, it's also been heavily reported that the 97 allegations was something that was only a rumour, that quickly, quickly turned into a fact because of other fandoms. which is just asinine to think that people are utilizing this fabricated number to try to prove the severity of the situation. it doesn't matter if it's one allegation or 97. the victims will be hurt either will and using this number has only furthered the idea that these people sharing their stories might be faked for clout. which brings me to my next point, that the reason this has taken such a turn in the 5sos fandom in particular is because:

(3) performative activism

i think we need to hold people accountable for their actions. absolutely, 1000%. there's no other way to even look at it for me.

but i think what bothers me the most on the 5sos side of this, is that the activism seems VERY much so only a way for people to avoid getting "cancelled" themselves and to justify being rude to ashton online. i would genuinely say that the majority of it is coming from a place of little information, or understanding at all, because i keep seeing people acting like puritans on twt like "so glad i'm a luke lane" and even update accounts saying they're only posting about 3/4 band members now. like newsflash, it is not a black and white world, and if you really were so passionate about the issue, you would cut the band out of your life completely. because the reality is, ashton is the only one who said what everyone already knew out loud; that the 5sos boys continue to be friends with all time low and enjoy their company. jack is in 2018's cocktail chats. the whole band played at friends of friends in 2019. i'm even fairly sure alex gaskarth, the lead singer of atl, commented on crystal's pregnancy announcement. it is not fair to try to pick and choose who you hold accountable for their actions, just because one person is being cancelled by the general public.

because none of that gets to the crux of the issue that there are victims here. and none of this is doing anything but providing more fuel to the people who claim that society is becoming too "woke" or the people who claim that these stories are fake for clout. it is ONLY encouraging them. go volunteer in a political campaign to try to make the system safer for victims. donate. make tangible change within the world. recognition and making people's voices heard can only go so far.

i see so many people asking for ashton to apologize for his actions, and while i agree that he should be doing something, i also don't think that would effectively do anything. justice looks different for everyone, but apologizing for playing a song doesn't move the needle. and incessantly asking him to, is taking time away from the activism that actually needs to happen.

(4) cancel culture

more of a commentary on how cancel culture is tbh, rather than this situation, but it's uncanny how cancel culture can mirror to a tough on crime/capital punishment model of crime control. no matter how much one tries to rehabilitate themselves, try to show with physical actions that they have changed for the better, their past actions are always going to define them. even if it's been several years since these things have happened.

i know it sounds so "back in my day" of me to say this, but honestly would love for people to truly understand the meaning of what it means to reach restitution for your actions. if this person wasn't a celebrity, would you be looking at them like this? if they were just a criminal, would it be ethical and fair for you to tell them that they will never be able to make up for what they did 20, 30 years ago, no matter how much they may have changed? that they will never be forgiven? it's always about receipts and evidence, but one of the reasons criminals have such a hard time gaining things like parole or even jobs after they leave incarceration is because they have no way to show others that they are trustworthy and good people. it's a hard thing to justify. not many people have to try to do it for other people and the general public in their lifetime.

i don't think this is 1 for 1 comparison with ashton and criminal justice btw, i'm just saying that perhaps the reason that we cannot allow others to rehabilitate themselves in the system is because even at the most basic level, we cannot find it within ourselves to let things go for people for any of their past actions. and that's something i find myself chewing on because at the end of the day, it's a song. it's a song, and a little of how he pitched it. is that really worth the time it's warranted, when already the generally consensus is he shouldn't have done it? is it worth the anger and refusal to enjoy him, this band anymore?

it's not to me but up to you what you choose to believe in.

okay, it is time we talk about atl

putting this video up here bc i love how she compiled things with a focus on what we know to be true, not just simply anonymous claims. because the 2000s and early 2010s were a really wild time and i hope that we all share in wanting to make the music industry better than it has been. because doing that requires thinking about how we talk and how we call people to account, in a targeted purposeful way that also affirms, where reasonable, their ability to do better and to choose it themselves as well. i hope you manage to watch it through and think about her criticisms of especially their statement at the end, and ponder the question of, how, realistically, would we call them to do better? (also, abigail??? what are you doing here?)

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and also, because from there leads us to the question: do we think it's right to ask ashton to boycott their songs, and if so how hard is it appropriate to push him towards that--or are we channeling our energy in the wrong place, perhaps even causing harm, or 'punishing what we want to see'? because unlike some of their idols, 5sos do have a track record of being respectful to fans, and, if we want to make the music industry better, don't we want to see more of that? i draw some parallels and come up with some ideas under the cut.

I'll admit I don't know a heap about all time low; i enjoy some of their songs, appreciate a (maybe a little cringey) reference to microplastics and I know 5sos looked up to them a lot when they were younger and alex gaskarth helped write some songs off sgfg and showed up in the how did we end up here documentary. I've never been to one of their shows, had no idea about the bras, or that they formed in high school just like 5sos, with a lineup that parallels the instrumental roles of 5sos. in some ways it's like they're an american 5sos eight years ahead in their careers and about that much older than them too. rose to fame alongside bands like panic! at the disco, and like p!atd, made their shows run with energy of sexual liberation that meant saying some careless things, doing some morally ambiguous things that are highly problematic when taken out of context or thought hard about with a critical lens of how some sexual liberation when it has power attached to it, infringes on the rights of those with less power in the name of rebellion, and can even uphold abuse. so, problematic.

does this mean any of them are rapists? not necessarily. but have they taken less accountability than brendon urie? arguably.

and so clearly, the parallels with 5sos stopped a while ago. i've said it before but one thing i do notice about all the music 5 seconds of summer have put out, is that in an industry where it's normal to objectify women/sexual partners in general, in genres that often have a little of that sprinkled through songs i'll sometime overlook or sit through for the sake of the song as a whole--they don't have a trace of that. or if they do, it's playful, humble, not forceful by any stretch, and an invitation to a collaborative kind of sexuality (greenlight), a celebration of an existing relationship with its shared wants (slsp, valentine) or a kind of reflection on experience that went some kind of way (ela, talk fast, iwct, wayf, teeth, a lot of their discography). it's also all really genuine, it feels really safe to listen to--and that's unfortunately a really rare thing that they have.

so, in the event atl are actually looking to do better, not simply reactively to enraged fans and the general public (because for a lot of fans, the morally grey stuff is normalised. and people are loyal) there's a lot of artists they could learn from, where it could feel like a really authentic and autonomous learning process. and who are they likely to listen to?? maybe some guys who have looked up to them for decades, gone along a similar path, reached a similar level of fame, and kept this aura of respectfulness about them while also being cool people who aren't moral purists. 5sos have no obligation to do that, and maybe ashton simply didn't think before playing their song--but think about it. if we want to make any industry better, as much as supporting those who are doing it right (and imo this does include not forcing them into an inhuman standard of perfection) it includes facilitating accountable pathways for people who have done things badly to do better.

that doesn't change the fact that what is alleged is horrible. that as much as there isn't any proof of it, there's no proof it isn't true--how much more of a case they'd have if jack's partners from that time came forward and said they were with him at the time and there was no evidence of there being anyone else. if he came out and said that he's got some standard of how he treats underage fans (even if it is looser than we may like) and after whatever happened with abigail which was 10 years ago when he was still a young adult, he's learning more about who it's appropriate to date. and in the case if the allegations are false, if he's got nothing to be afraid of and they don't need to try strongarm it with the support of the law to make it go away, we actually do have another example (if very much unintentional) of how to transparently respond to false allegations sharing what you know and what you would and wouldn't do from our very own 5sos. (which again, parallels. sometimes reality offers the best irony).

because if it's not true and that can be shown in a transparent and respectful way, they have nothing to worry about. they can take this as a warning to think about their behaviour; we can hear the stories behind the allegations made, all can be put to rest. I hope the lawsuit uncovers the truth; I'm not too confident it will but the truth does have a way of coming out eventually. and the victims of the allegations deserve to have their voices heard, deserve to be respected and validated, even if we can't for the moment say for sure it was one way or another. we have to keep crying out for the truth to be found. for some of us it may mean stopping supporting them until we can do so ethically, but for some of us it may mean keeping them relevant, not stopping talking until we know the truth. some of us may decide this isn't the focus of our activism.

but is it up to us to decide that ashton specifically must choose the method of boycotting them? it's not up to me to decide that for you. but please at least think. is this the best use of my activism energy or is it better directed somewhere else--somewhere that might actually bring some sort of resolution to this?

#q speaks

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sheathnknife · 5 years ago

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Mac: You ruined my life!

James: How could I ruin your life? I wasn't even there.

#incorrect macgyver quotes #angus macgyver #james macgyver #macgyver(2016)#source:#The Lego Ninjajo Movie #I cannot believe this is my first actual contribution to this fandom #macgyver #macgyver reboot

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tarobytez · 3 years ago

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disability in the Six Of Crows Duology; an analysis of Kaz Brekker, Wylan Van Eck, and the fandom’s treatment of them.

****Note: I originally wrote this for a tiktok series, which im still going to do, but i wanted to post here as well bc tumblr is major contributor to what im going to talk about

CW: ableism, filicide, abuse

In the Six of Crows duology, Leigh Bardugo delicately subverts and melds harmful disability tropes into her narrative, unpacking them in a way that I, as a disabled person, found immensely refreshing and…. just brilliant.

But what did you all do with that? Well, you fucked it up. Instead of critically looking at the characters, y’all just chose to be ableist.

For the next few videos paragraphs im going to unpack disability theory (largely the stuff surrounding media, for obvious reasons) and how it relates to Six Of Crows and the characterization of Kaz Brekker and Wylan Van Eck, then how, despite their brilliant writing, y’all completely overlooked the actual text and continuously revert them to ableist cariactures.

Disclaimer: 1. Shocker - i am disabled. I have also extensively researched disability theory and am very active in the disabled community. Basically, I know my shit. 2. im going to be mad in these videos this analysis. Because the way y’all have been acting has been going on for a long ass time and im fuckin sick of it. I don’t give a shit about non-disabled feelings, die mad

Firstly, I’m going to discuss Kaz, his play on the stereotypical “mean cripple” trope and how Bardugo subverts it, his cane, and disabled rage. Then, I am going to discuss Wylan, the “inspiration porn” stereotype, caregivers / parents, and the social model of disability. Finally, I will then explain the problems in the fandom from my perspective as a disabled person, largely when it comes to wylan, bc yall cant leave that boy tf alone.

Kaz Brekker

Think of a character who uses a cane (obviously not Kaz). Now, are they evil, dubiously moral, or just an asshole in general? Because nearly example I can think of is: whether it be Lots’O from Toy Story, Lucius Malfoy, or even Scrooge and Mr.Gold from Once Upon A Time all have canes (the last two even having their canes appear less and less as they become better people)

The mean/evil cripple trope is far more common than you would think. Villains with different bodies are confined to the role of “evil”. To quote TV Tropes, who I think did a brilliant job on explaining it “The first is rooted in eugenics-based ideas linking disability or other physical deformities with a "natural" predisposition towards madness, criminality, vice, etc. The Rule of Symbolism is often at work here, since a "crippled" body can be used to represent a "crippled" soul — and indeed, a disabled villain is usually put in contrast to a morally upright and physically "perfect" hero. Whether consciously on the part of the writer or not, this can reinforce cultural ideas of disability making a person inherently inferior or negative, much in the same way the Sissy Villain or Depraved Homosexual trope associate sexual and gender nonconformity with evil. ”

Our introduction to Kaz affirms this notion of him being bad or morally bankrupt, with “Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason”, etc. This mythologized version of himself, the “bastard of the barrel” actively fed into this misconception. But, as we the audience are privy to his inner thoughts, know that he is just a teenager like every other Crow. He is complex, his disability isn’t this tragic backstory, he just fell off a roof. It’s not his main motivation, nor does he curse revenge for making him a cripple - it is just another part of who he is.

His cane (though the shows version fills me with rage but-) is an extension of Kaz - he fights with it, but it has a purpose. Another common thing in media is for canes to be simply accessories, but while Kaz’ cane is fashionable, it has purpose.

The quote “There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.” is so fucking powerful. Kaz does not want nor need a cure - its said in Crooked Kingdom that his leg could most likely be healed, but he chooses not to. Abled-bodied people tend to dismiss this thought as Kaz being stubborn but it shows a reality of acceptance of his disability that is just, so refreshing.

In chapter 22 of SOC, we see disabled rage done right - when he is called a cripple by the Fjerdan inmate, Kaz is pissed - the important detail being that he is pissed at the Fjerdan, at society for ableism, not blaming it on being disabled or wishing he could be normal. He takes action, dislocating the asshole’s shoulder and proving to him, and to a lesser extent, himself, that he is just as capable as anyone else, not in spite of, but because he is disabled. And that is the point of Kaz, harking back to the line that “there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken”.

I cried on numerous occasions while reading the SOC duology, but the parts I highlighted in this section especially so. I, as many other disabled people do, have had a long and tumultuous relationship with our disability/es, and for many still struggle. But Kaz Brekker gave me an empowered disabled character who accepts themselves, and that means the world to me.

Keeping that in mind, I hope you can understand why it hurts so much to disabled people when you either erase Kaz’s disability (whether through cosplay or fanfiction), or portray him as a “broken boy uwu”, especially implying that he would want a cure. That flies in the face of canon and is inherently fucking ableist. (if u think im mad wait until the next section)

Next, we have Wylan.

Oh fucking boy.

I love Wylan so fucking much, and y’all just do not seem to understand his character? Like at all? Since this is disability-centric, I’m not going to discuss how the intersection of his queerness also contributes to these issues, but trust me when I say it’s a contributing factor to what i'm going to say.

Wylan, motherfucking Van Eck. If you ableist pricks don’t take ur fucking hands off him right now im going to fight you. I see Wylan as a subversion another, and in my opinion more insidious stereotype pf disabled people - inspiration porn.

Cara Liebowitz in a 2015 article on the blog The Body Is Not An Apology explains in greater detail how inspiration porn is impactful in real life, but media is a major contributing factor to this reality. The technical definition is “the portrayal of people with disabilities as inspirational solely or in part on the basis of their disability” - but that does not cover it fully.

Inspiration porn does lasting damage on the disabled community as it implies that disability is a negative that you need to “overcome” or “triumph” instead of something one can feel proud of. It exploits disabled people for the development of non-disabled people, and in media often the white male protagonist. Framing disability as inherently negative perpetuates ideals of eugenics and cures - see Autism $peaks’ “I Am Autism” ad. Inspiration porn is also incredibly patronizing as it implies that we cannot take care of ourselves, or do things like non-disabled people do. Because i stg some of you tend to think that we just sit around all day wishing we weren’t disabled.

Another important theory ideal that is necessary when thinking about Wylan is the experience of feeling like a burden simply for needing help or accommodations. This is especially true when it comes to familial relationships, and internalized ableism.

The rhetoric that Wylan’s father drilled into his head, that he is “defective”, “a mistake”, and “needs to be corrected”, that he (Jan) was “cursed with a moron for a child” is a long held belief that disabled people hear relentlessly. And while many see Van Eck’s attempted murder of Wylan as “preposturous” and overall something that you would never think happens today - filicide (a parent murdering their child) is more common than you would like to believe. Without even mentioning the countless and often unreported deaths of disabled people due to lack of / insufficient / neglectful medical care, in a study on children who died from the result of household abuse, 40 of 42 of them (95%) were diagnosed with disabilities. Van Eck is not some caricature of ableist ideals - he is a real reflection on how many people and family members view disability.

Circling back to how Wylan unpacks the inspiration porn trope - he is 3 dimensional, he is not only used to develop the other characters, he is just *chefs kiss* Leigh, imo, put so much love and care into the creation of Wylan and his story and character growth that is representative of a larger feeling in the disabled community.

That being said, what you non-disabled motherfuckers have done to him.

The “haha Wylan can’t read” jokes aren’t and were not funny. Y’all literally boiled down everything Wylan is to him being dyslexic. And it’s like,,,, the only thing you can say about him. You ignore every other part of him other than his disability, and then mock him for it. There’s so much you can say about Wylan - simping for Jesper, being band kid and playing the fuckin flute, literally anything else. But no, you just chose to mock his disability, excellent fucking job!

Next up on “ableds stfu” - infantilization! y’all are so fucking condescending to Wylan, and treat him like a fucking toddler. And while partly it is due to his sexuality i think a larger portion is him being disabled. Its in the same vein of people who think that Wylan and Jesper are romantically one sided, and that Jesper only kind of liked Wylan, despite the canon evidence of him loving Wylan just as much. You all view him as a “smol bean”, who needs protecting, and care, when Wylan is the opposite of that. He is a fucking demolitions expert who suggested waking up sleeping men to kill them - what about that says “uwu”. You are treating Wylan as a burden to Jesper and the other Crows when he is an immensely valuable, fully autonomous disabled person - you all just view him as damaged.

And before I get a comment saying that “uhhh Wylan isn’t real why do you care” while Wylan may not be real, how you all view him and treat him has real fucking impacts and informs how you treat people like me. If someone called me an “uwu baby boy” they’d get a fist square in the fucking jaw. Fiction informs how we perceive the world and y’all are making it super fucking clear how you see disabled people.

Finally, I wanted to talk about how the social model of disability is portrayed through Wylan. For those who are unaware, the social model of disability contrasts the medical model, that views the disability itself as the problem, that needs to be cured, whereas the social model essentially boils down to creating an accommodating society, where disability acceptance and pride is the goal. And we see this with Wylan - he is able to manage his father’s estate, with Jesper’s assistance to help him read documents. And this is not out of pity or charity, but an act of love. It is not portrayed as this almighty act for Jesper to play saviour, just a given, which is incredibly important to show, especially for someone who has been abused by family for his disability like Wylan, that he is accepted.

Yet, I still see people hold up Jesper on a pedestal for “putting up with” Wylan, as if loving a disabled person deserves a fucking pat on the back. It’s genuinely exhausting trying to engage with a work I love so much with a fandom that thinks so little of me and my community. It fucking shows.

Overall, Leigh Bardugo as a disabled person wrote two incredibly meticulous and empowered disabled characters, and due to either lack of reading comprehension, ableism, or a quirky mix of both, the fandom has ignored canon and the experiences of disabled people for…. shits and giggles i guess. And yes, there are issues with the Grishaverse and disability representation - while I haven’t finished them yet so I do not have an opinion on it, people have been discussing issues in the KOS duology with ableist ideals. This mini series was no way indicative of the entire disabled experience, nor does it represent my entire view on the representation as a whole. These things need to be met critically in our community, and talked about with disabled voices at the forefront. For example, the limited perspective we get of Wylan and Kaz being both white men, does not account for a large portion of the disabled community and the intersection of multiple identities.

All-in-all, Critique media, but do not forget to also critique fandom spaces. Alternatively, just shut the fuck up :)

happy fucking disability pride month, ig

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galaxysharks · 2 years ago

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You ever have shower-thoughts at 2am for a fandom you havent touched in like 5 years? In fairness, Teen Titans was my shit for like 13~ years, y'all i literally ran out of fanfic to read, it was bad.

Regardless, i was snooping on the tags for Raven again and found this mini-lecture on the semantics of Hell!Demon vs DimensionalRift!Demon in dc, and the author mentioned how much more powerful Raven's story is if she is considered to be this inherently evil creature that chooses good despite her instincts that literally radiate #badvibes off of her.

And i began to hear the rattling of genius within my mostly deserted skull. So now Everyone must bear witness to my unraveling.

K so Trigon is pretty much established to be less Demon and more so Demon God, right? And has thusly fecked his way through the dimensional void, spawning his little half-demon babies, yeah?

Our boy's got 7 children, each forming the living embodiment of humanities worst traits. (As explained via convenient Western Religious analogies).

1. Pride

2. Sloth

3. Wrath

4. Lust

5. Greed

6. Gluttony

7. Envy ( full disclosure, took me 15 min to remember this one, which is sad and funny all on its own. Sorry not sorry dude )

Now, daddy-dearest wanna rule the universe, but needs a ride to do it, so he picks one of his kids, and boom, sudden Anti-christ, fair enough, demon-gotta-demon. So Trigon looks at his selection and chooses his only daughter, that'd be our girl Raven.

This is where i propose, Trigon Fucked Up, and inadvertently provided Raven with the only circumstances that would allow her to defy him.

With his other children, he clearly has total control of them, and to be fair Rae does have several altering factor that could contribute to her breaking free, Azarath and Azar's teachings included. But i dont think she needed them, i think she would have gone against him anyway.

Raven is mentioned to be his most powerful offspring, go off girl, but more importantly, those Sins up there, Our girl is Pride. Trigon chose Pride to be his portal.

( Which btw is the most typically pseudo-fatherly patriarchal bullshit and i am kind of here for it. :D )

Anyway, it is important that the sins are not just strong characteristics within these guys, the are the living fundamental expressions of these concepts. Nothing will ever alter who they are or how they are at their core.

Pride is the only sin that could have failed the portal.

Wrath, Lust, and Greed can be warped into believing it served their own goals

Sloth cant be bothered to fight it

Gluttony sees it as an expansion to their need to consume everything

Envy would do it just to prevent the others from getting there first

But Pride fundamentally cannot allow itself to submit to another. It has to come out on top, second best or equal share isnt good enough.

Raven has to fight him, because to do anything else is to war with her very nature, which is impossible. She can do good because the Sins are simply flaws, not in of themselves damning.

Admittedly i misspoke earlier, Dc Demons are not inherently Evil, they are inherently Malicious, ( which if youve spent any amount of time with preteens you know are not actually the same. )

Raven directs her darker natured instincts at bad guys and her father, still maintaining her nature as Pride, after all she is the most powerful Titan, raw power wise, and she knows it. Pride is content without constantly having to prove herself becuse she lacks the Envy amd Greed that usually come with excessive pride flaws.

Whats funny is that Trigons plan could have worked, if he simply wanted her to take over in his stead, rather than do it himself. But he was never going to do that because he is also Pride, and all the others too, and to do so is against his very nature.

#DC Raven Headcanon #dc comics #Raven #rachel roth #teen titans #Dc Demons #Dc Trigon #trigon the terrible #shower thoughts #but like 2am in bed thoughts #dc Analysis

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justfangirlstuffs · 2 years ago

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FNAF DCA QUESTIONNAIRE I decided to fill out for funsies. Link to the original is here.

1. How did you get here?

That is a great question. Honestly I feel like I stumbled ass first into this fandom and now I'm just kind of here to stay for a while.

2. Why these characters in particular? What was the hook for you?

I think the hook for me personally was the fact that the DCA is, in essence, a caretaker, which oddly enough called out to the inner child in me.

3. How long have you been here?

In this fandom specifically? Only a few months at this point.

4. Have you actually played FNAF sb?

Yes and it was a frustrating ordeal. I got lost multiple times because the map was absolutely useless and at times I got confused as to what my next objective was. But I did manage to eventually get to 6am.

5. If you make content what is your favorite piece you've contributed?

My favorite so far that I've contributed personally is my AO3 fic, The Daycare Attendant's Little Assistant, where you the reader are a kid who befriends the DCA. It takes place before the events of Security Breach and just has a lot of wholesome fun as well as some hurt/comfort.

6. What's your favorite sort of art or fic? What genre/flavor/style?

I love me some wholesome content. Give me all of the hurt/comfort and warm fuzzies.

7. What's your favorite au?

There is this one Cowboy Au that looks like a lot of fun. I believe it's by @castercassette .

8. Do you have any OCs, or have OCs that you are fond of?

This may be a little biased but I'm rather attached to my y/n from TDALA. They are just so grumpy and salty about life (for reasons) and they do not start off on the right foot with Sun and Moon at first.

9. What do you think of the dca's Canon appearance? Scary? Cute? Something else?

I know I'm probably in the minority on this but I absolutely love Sun and Moon's canonical appearance. It's the perfect blend of creepy and whimsical, a combination I enjoy playing with when writing them.

10. What keeps you in this fandom despite the small amount of Canon content the DCA had?

A combination of things. One of which being the there are a lot of fun and awesome people I've met through this fandom in just the short time that I've been here, but there's also a lot of fun and creative stuff to he had here. And there are no shortages of lore and theories revolving around these two.

11. Be honest: if you had to pick only one, sun or moon?

I cannot put into words how much I hate being asked this. But fine, gun to my head I would probably pick Sun because he's the one least likely to kill me.

12. Thoughts on eclipse?

Again, I feel like I'm in the minority on this when I say that I really don't have strong feelings towards Eclipse. Cool concept, the art surrounding him is pretty neat, but that's about it.

13. Thoughts on pre-glitch sun?

So many. And the fun part is I get to explore them in my fic. Before the glitch, Sun is a lot more put together. He still has his overly zealous tendencies but a lot less of the anxiety and clingyness we see in game.

14. Thoughts on pre-glitch Moon?

Another fun concept that gets explored in my story. Moon has always been a bit of a gremlin, but he plays into it for fun. He's fully aware that kids find him slightly more unsettling than Sun but he tries not to let it bother him and instead uses that to his advantage.

15. Do you interpret sun and moon as two sides of the same person, or truly two separate beings in one body? Does it matter?

Oh I absolutely believe that Sun and Moon are two different personalities in one body and good luck trying to convince me otherwise. I don't know, I just think it's more fun that way.

16. What's something in the fandom you like to see more of?

I always love seeing new theories, not just about the DCA but security breach as a whole. The FNAF franchise is fun but dang do they just love to leave things vague and leave it to the fans to pick apart everything.

17. What's something in the fandom you'd like to see less of?

NSFW content. This is merely a personal preference and no judgment to those who do enjoy it.

18. Anything you're looking forward to?

The DLC as well as the upcoming series of books featuring The Pizza Plex.

19. Do you think you'd actually get along with the DCA if you met them irl?

Oh, absolutely. I would probably have to take Sun in small doses because I'm just eternally tired, although who knows maybe he could just spot me a few Sundrop candies and I'd be fine. And if Moon is willing to help me sleep (like just night time sleep and not the eternal kind) then we'll be best friends forever.

20. Free space! Talk about whatever is on your mind!

I'm really glad I joined this fandom. I've been having a lot of fun so far and it's gotten me back into writing and drawing two things that I both agonize over and find a lot of joy and comfort in. I hope to make more friends and fun times while I'm here.

Tagging: @lovelymoonmagic @thewordofm @yes---but---no @theohnocorral @jess-themess05 @jaythejokerfan @sharpmarble76 @certified-handler @feralmoonlight @sleepyjuniper and anyone else who wants to fill this out! I'm curious to know what y'all will answer.

#fnaf dca #fnaf security breach #fnaf sundrop #fnaf moondrop #the daycare attendant #fnaf sun #fnaf moon #dca lore

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serpent-of-the-silver-plumes · 3 years ago

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would you mind talking more about bart and unreliable narration? I always hear people say unreliable narration but I've never seen any concrete examples from media I actually consume so I'd love your thoughts

Oh absolutely!! I actually wrote a thing about this a while back but then went 'this is not well written' and it got buried in my drafts, so I’m glad to have an excuse to pull that up and rewrite it. (Also sorry, this got really long.)

Basically, at one point I was listening to a podcast (Be the Serpent, ep 4), and they categorize different kinds of unreliable narrators into three types: the narrator who knows they are lying to you, the narrator who is lying to themself (and therefore you), and the narrator who is lying because they are missing some key information. I would argue that the three main pov characters of the Bartimaeus Trilogy each represent a different type of these unreliable narrators.

Going in backwards order, Kitty is the narrator who lies because she is missing some key information, at least until the third book. As a commoner, even one who is part of a resistance movement, her knowledge of magic is extremely limited and biased. Were we to go off of her point of view alone, we would get an inaccurate view of this world and the power dynamics that exist within it: that magicians are somehow special in holding magic and that they have evil demons who work alongside them in shared mischief/hunger for power/whatever.

However, because the books include other points of view, the full impact of that unreliability is not realized.

Similarly, Nathaniel lies to himself, especially in the later books. He ignores how much he personally contributes to upholding a system that depends on the oppression and slavery of other sentient beings, and squashes down the last traces of his moral compass. I don’t think he ever really questions the system of government or if it should be there and work the way it does.

To some extent, we do see through his unreliability as well, because Bartimaeus is around to keep a check on him and tell the reader that no, the magicians and their imperialism are bad, that spirits have very good reason to hate humans, and give us other world building details that contradict what Nathaniel believes.

But some of it is about what is going on inside Nathaniel’s own head, so there is also a lot that can’t be fully seen by an outside perspective that has to be assumed by the reader. Like he will deny the sentimental feelings he has towards Ms. Underwood and the guilt he had over Kitty’s supposed death and the fact that he even remotely cares about Bartimaeus, but actions speak louder than words.

Because both of these characters’ unreliability stem from a lack of understanding, having other perspectives in the book in some ways cancels out their unreliability, and actually ties their unreliability more to their character development than as a plot/narration device. Kitty grows more reliable throughout the series while Nathaniel gets less so until the end. This doesn’t make that unreliability useless though, especially in a series aimed for children. By getting each character’s point of view, we can see where they are coming from and how the knowledge and views they have affect the way they act, but there is also someone else to point out how they are wrong, to make you question how true what each individual says is.

Bartimaeus is entirely different from the first two characters. His narration is told in first person, unlike Nathaniel and Kitty’s third person. He talks directly to the reader and goes off on tangential footnotes that are not necessarily part of the events currently happening in the story. Because of this narration style, he also has the power to lie more directly to the reader than any of the other characters.

Given his life, it is understandable how he has gotten into the habit of lying. Every moment of his existence on Earth is spent under the power of someone else, so he lies in order to protect himself. There are some instances where he lies to his masters in order to escape punishment or to lead them into danger so he can be set free, but he also lies about his feelings because he cannot afford to be emotionally vulnerable.

For the most part, I think it can be assumed that the dialogue and most actions that happen in his pov chapters are told as they are, since much of that lines up with what goes on in the other characters’ perspectives, and also there are at least a few things that show him in a less-than-flattering light that he would probably leave out or change if he could. Instead, the lies he tells are largely about his past and his emotions, often done through exaggeration or omission, and cannot be collaborated by others.

When lying about his past, Bartimaeus frequently exaggerates his prestige and role in history. In Ptolemy’s Gate, Bartimaeus says that he talked to King Solomon about Faquarl’s tendency to brag about his historical importance. Even beyond the obvious irony, in the prequel we see Bartimaeus’s time at Solomon’s court, and while it isn’t technically impossible for him to have talked to Solomon about Faquarl, the timing and circumstances make it extremely unlikely. Although his other stories cannot be proven or disproven with what we know, this instance and his general tendency to brag outrageously makes it very likely that Bartimaeus at the very least embellishes.

However, despite being super showy about his past, Bartimaeus doesn’t actually include much important information. He very rarely talks about his great feats as a thief or assassin or anything else. When he lists his accomplishments, he describes building walls and talking to important historical figures. There’s a post somewhere (if I find it, I’ll link it) that explains this as being a way for Bartimaeus to try to take control of his reputation and therefore his life; by associating with safer jobs, he is less likely to be summoned for very dangerous and morally reprehensible jobs.

He does generally try to portray himself as clever and collected and just generally more cool than he actually is. There’s a moment at the end of the first book where he describes himself as trying to calm Nathaniel who is freaking out, and then the next chapter is from Nathaniel’s pov which describes him as being the calmer one while Bartimaeus is a fly anxiously buzzing around.

I don’t remember the exact line, but in the second book there’s an exchange that goes something like this:

“____” I said calmly.

“Stop your whimpering,” Kitty said.

The way Bartimaeus portrays himself is straight up contradicted by the more factual account of the words and actions of someone else. And presumably there are plenty of other times that we do not see contradictory evidence where Bartimaeus straight up lies about how he is reacting to something.

But one of Bartimaeus’s most unreliable points centers around humans. Throughout the books, he constantly talks about the ways he has killed and would like to kill his masters, if given the opportunity. Nathaniel is an exception, one that Bartimaeus does admit to the reader, but even in the third book when he talks the most about how he would kill Nathaniel or even join a demon rebellion if Faquarl offered right then and there, Bartimaeus does not actually follow through on these threats when he gets the chance. Despite all of his talk about how much he hates humans, Bartimaeus has as much of a positive relationship he can have with as many humans possible, given the circumstances.

A lot of his unreliability centers around Ptolemy, which is what some of Bartimaeus’s biggest lies of omission are about. In the first book, we do get the sense that Bartimaeus has a soft spot for at least some humans. His excuses of saving and looking after Nathaniel in order to avoid Indefinite Confinement, while likely not entirely false, do fall a bit flat. We even get a mention of “a boy I had known once before, someone I had loved.” Although this is not explicitly connected to Ptolemy at this point, mentions of brown skin and the Nile make a pretty obvious connection to Ptolemy, especially as Bartimaeus describes taking on Ptolemy’s form several times later on. There is a less obvious hint too, “I sat on the ground, cross-legged, the way Ptolemy used to do.” Even without knowing much about what kind of relationship Bartimaeus had with Ptolemy, that kind of detail shows ‘a devotion to detail that could only come with genuine affection, or perhaps even love.’

It isn’t until the third book until we learn anything substantial about his relationship with Ptolemy, and even then he doesn’t tell the whole story. The fandom jokes about how Bartimaeus just casually mentions in a foot note that he prefers a lioness form because the manes are annoying, and it’s not until the flashback that you find out that the mane is part of what got Ptolemy killed. And even with the flashbacks, you still never see the time that Ptolemy visited the Other Place.

There are a lot of posts on this site that talk about how Bartimaeus absolutely was idealizing Ptolemy, and how there’s some evidence that he isn’t the perfectly sweet never-did-anything-wrong innocent child that Bartimaeus describes him as (notably that part where he was vaguely annoyed that people kept coming to him to ask for help and interrupted his research). Not that Ptolemy secretly sucks or anything, but it’s really easy to let nostalgia skip over the less dramatic details of Ptolemy being an actual human being with flaws.

In summary, I would argue that all of the trilogy protagonists are unreliable narrators to varying extents, and Jonathan Stroud is a genius for how he manages to make it all work.

#bartimaeus #nathaniel #ptolemy #kitty jones #my post #kitty #unreliable narrator

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kakairu-shrine · 2 years ago

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Third Year Anniversary!!!

I can’t believe it’s already been three years since I posted my first fic to ao3 & started contributing to the fandom! It’s been such a wild ride, and so much has happened in that time; and sitting back and reflecting on it all now, I am really proud of how much I have accomplished.

Somehow, in the past 3 years, I have accumulated nearly 100 works on ao3, and am sitting at 454k words total; and that’s while modding the Kakairu Rocks forum, which I’ve been doing for about 2 years (now with 2 other amazing mods, @oneinist & @kaoruhana08), and running events like the KakaIru Valentine’s Week that passed in February, and the upcoming KakaIru Maze Challenge (which you can sign up for all of June!).

Before I looked at my stats today, I actually felt like I hadn’t been doing enough, and have been letting people down, because in the past 6 months especially, I’ve been struggling with a lot of irl things that have messed with my mental health & left me barely able to function; and as a result, I haven’t been able to put as much effort into my projects as usual, and haven’t felt like I’ve had much to contribute. But looking at the numbers now, it’s just insane how quickly all my bits & pieces have added up.

And I have you guys to thank for how much I’ve done. I always have ideas & am daydreaming about kakairu stuff, but without your support – your kudos, comments, shares, and everything else, I don’t think I would have the drive that I do. Your support keeps me going, and inspires me to do more; and I am really grateful for all of you. So thank you for your encouragement. I cannot wait to see where it leads me in this next year and beyond ❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕

If anyone is interested, I have prepared a selection of stats with some of my creations throughout the year, which you can go through under the cut!

If you want to know more about me or find more kakairu content, you can:

1. Check out my library of fics here on ao3

2. Follow me on Twitter

3. Join me in the Kakairu Rocks forum

4. DM me, or send me an ask!

The green numbers = my growth from the previous year!

Top 5 Fics in The Past Year by Kudos:

Waiting For You (9668 words): 270 kudos

Catkashi (20 468 words): 210 kudos

The Getaway (15 023 words): 174 kudos

Strung Out (4405 words): 148 kudos

Presents (10 290 words): 143 kudos

Top 5 Fics in The Past Year by Comment Threads:

The Getaway: 33 comment threads

The Rift (WIP at 19 880 words): 26 comment threads

Presents: 21 comment threads

Ransom: 16 comment threads

Waiting For You: 13 comment threads

Top 5 Fics in The Past Year by Bookmarks:

Waiting For You: 48 bookmarks

Catkashi: 39 bookmarks

The Getaway: 32 bookmarks

The Rift: 18 bookmarks

Presents: 15 bookmarks

My Top 5 Fics of The Past Year:

Catkashi

Presents

Waiting For You

The Getaway

Second Date (3471 words)

Total Fics:

Past Year: 46

All Time: 97

Most Liked Fic (best kudos-hits ratio): A New Home (2471 words)

Highest Subscribed Fic:

Past Year: The Rift, 23 subscriptions

All Time: Mine (23 393 words), 98 subscriptions

Longest Completed Fic:

Past Year: Catkashi (20 468 words)

All Time: The Final Raid (28,307 words)

Shortest Completed Fic:

18x drabbles

Shortest ficlet: Heaven (475 words)

Shortest fic: Okay Together (1013 words)

Fastest Chapter Fic to Complete: The Child (11 332 words). It was written in just 3 days! The Missing (20 612 words) is second, taking two & a half weeks to write!

What Am I Working On Now?

At the moment, I am hooked on my latest series, In A Land Far, Far Away.... It’s a Star Wars AU that I only intended to just write a oneshot for, but since sharing the fic, A New Home, I’ve had loads of ideas for the world; and I just want to continue writing about how Iruka & Naruto’s new lives are coming together, and how they’re adjusting to everything. I foresee a lot of found family & fluff in the future!

With the Maze Challenge coming up, I am really digging the Supernatural & Paranormal theme, so I will probably make myself a maze & participate in that, too; an in the meantime, I’m working on the rest of the event fic, Liberation, which is about vampire slayer Iruka being sent off to find Kakashi, who has gone missing during what should have been a simple mission... (you can read Part 1 here, and Part 2 here; and the other 2 parts will be released later).

I am also continuing on with my weekly drabbles/ ficlets, and I want to try & update one of my WIPs soon; but that may have to wait a bit since I’ve still got a fair bit to do this month with the Maze Challenge!

Once again, thank you for supporting me all this time! Your kudos, comments, and interest in my work means a lot to me, and inspires me to create even more.

I am grateful for you & your encouragement; and I cannot wait to share even more of my soul with you in this next year and beyond.

Thank you for sticking around! ❤️💕❤️💕❤️

#kakairu-shrine #3 year anniversary #kakairu fanfic #kakairu fanart #ao3 stats #fan appreciation #kakairu #kkir #kakashi x iruka #hatake kakashi #umino iruka

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