#I can't believe that you're really gone
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tomybeloveddeadones · 2 years ago
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ruubesz-draws · 7 months ago
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Godzilla but it's GTA
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Poor Tiamat... they did her dirty :(
It's okay Tiamat! I'll make your gijinka look beautiful!
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magicshop · 10 months ago
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his smile could cure the world ♡ [for @morshiberna ♡]
cr. 0613data
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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 hours ago
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5 years later ghost posting from jason sweettooth williams: "In honor of Halloween and all things ghostly, here is the picture I took of a ghost from the stage of the Lyceum Theater on Broadway. I was on stage in the middle of tech and looked up and spotted this. I think about her often but especially tonight on Halloween! #happyhalloween #ghost #theater #bemorechill #broadway"
#always enjoy the ghost gossip (anyone's Personal Ghost Tales) like it's literally always gonna be fun; inherently#but can say this is the first one i've heard with the bonus of ''& i took a phone pic on the spot. here ya go'' like hell yeah lol#sent me off on a tangent b/c i was trying to find a post with that one article with the Opposite Day headline#written as it is for obvious reasons but talking about some Behind The Scenes re: Bmc At The Lyceum & Its Ghost Traditions#so like titled ''bob fosse haunts will roland in his dressing room'' a) funny if that was figurative b) that the rest specifies He Doesn't#or at least isn't doing a good enough job to be detected & in this case was there a haunting. i don't think that would count#or that detail like Venue Specific Legend Has It if you're off your marks you'll feel a push towards your place#will being like ''yeah that hasn't happened to me'' & the article pointing out my next thought like b/c you're just so On Your Mark?#which isn't to say i Have To Believe there's no ghosts. or that there are. same with anyone's ghost gossip#like i don't think any i've ever heard was anyone lying. nor have i gone 'wow irrefutable proof. wow can't think of Any Other Possibility'#like i wasn't there. what do i know & also not my business. this is how it works with many things that are in the Personal Realm#i have opinions then about the treatment of supposed Haunted / Ghost Presence status realness(tm) regardless like.#but really Haunted Theater Venues tend to not be that kind of situation. a) generally not about violence begetting hauntings#& b) generally not a big deal anyway & people going about their business & sharing a space like Sure either way#this can go under:#bmc#and in all this like hey wait. this is just like goosebumps the musical the phantom of the auditorium#not like phantom of the opera. but seriously not like that lol
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forcebookish · 1 year ago
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feel like i'm being gaslighted by the ofs fandom like where are all these wild think pieces coming from we can't possibly be watching the same ONE EPISODE of the same drama
anyway,
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#the amount of baseless fanon is... wild#and by baseless i really do mean like. two sentences and a trailer#i feel like.......... bl fandom has never seen a couple like. actually be in the dating phase#so everyone is interpreting their little dance as two MASTER MANIPULATORS when they're just like... feeling each other out?? lmao#also some of u really think that mew is lying about being a virgin#so either he's been lying to his three closest friends for 4+ years or they're lying for him even during private moments with no one around#on the off chance that some hot guy is going to learn about it and want to date him because of it#that is breathtakingly bad writing#(of note: said hot guy was already interested in him before learning he was a virgin and still would've gone home with him had he not known#and if mew is so much of an unreliable narrator that we can't believe ANYTHING that is on screen that is also unbelievably bad writing lol#some of you are CONVINCED that he is an absolute psycho#?????????#ofs liveblog#i use that gif and then these are my tags#also i don't say all this like i know who mew really is. because it's been one episode lmao but he's definitely guarded and intuitive#i'm open to being wrong about MY interpretation of him but if any of these headcanons are true i probably won't finish it lol#(but i find it really unlikely... especially from how many of these takes are from people who hate top...)#(which tells me that you're not actually interested in understanding him as a character and want to cling to your own ideas of him)#(an attitude that i have a hard time believing you don't apply to all the characters. especially mew)#ANYWAY
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parkeryangs · 3 months ago
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if only 11 year old me knew that someday i would be 21 and still not better but still surviving, and still watching those videos of those two guys on the internet, about to catch a tour irl for the first time in a few months :')
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honeysunchild · 7 months ago
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It really hurts when it feels like a friend you considered family gives up on you and the relationship
Like, we could have talked about it, we could have found a solution together, we were each others family remember?! But instead you chose to just give up and cut me out
#and in like#about five messages too!#that were pretty accusatory#like apologizing peofusely bc youre afraid that karma wikl fuck u up for hurting le#doesnt really make up for accusing me of what you did#there are so many more compassionate ways you could have said that!#I'm so so sorry but you suck and i can't take it anymore goodbye#WTF#is this the goodbye seven years of friendship is worth??#we went through thick and thin#and yeah i have not been too well lately and i was pretty depressed two years ago#you asked me to share my problems with you and when i do i am too much and you drop me like hot metal instead of talking about it?#and that goodbye was so rushed it felt like i was chasing her just to get a little closure#you said you would always be there#even with our lives being so different I still believed it was possible#and you kept ignoring me!#i shared good stuff too and you didn't even respond! you said you were too busy and didn't make time for me#so when I stop sharing that good things happen to me too bc I'm frustrated with being ignored all the time you say I'm toxic for only#and drop me? instead of having a talk about it or taking a break?#like#i thought we were each others family but it seems like I was the more loyal one who cared the most and got burned yet again#is it so hard to talk and try to adjust?#i thought we were the real ones for each other yanno but clearly thing were different for you with all your toxic ass family and all your#jobs and friends#she's always had more than me#doesn't mean I'm alone tho#i have friend who can talk to me and try to adjust and fix the relationship and is a true loyal friend#it's not the end of my world that you're gone#even if you were a big part of it#how can I loose when I was so loyal and true and honest
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the-eclectic-wonderer · 6 months ago
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Lynnie herself is a rockstar. Her life has been so interesting, her career is pretty trailblazing in writing for theater and television - on purpose, she realized she had to write the roles she wanted to play, roles that didn't exist back then - and in her personal life she does wonderful advocacy work and foster care work. She's just a very nice lady. I'm still hunting down files I have saved from years ago but I did find an interview where she said Bea smiled watching tape of her first ep as youngDorothy, and that she thinks Bea knew the reverence she held her in (exact words) and that she always felt Bea was very kind and supportive of her. she also said "let's face it, no matter how old you are if you're a petite blonde people think you're adorable and cute, it's a lot easier in the world than if you're a tall dark girl and someone you have to get to know to not be threatened by" which is a very astute observation as to how Bea was and still is treated compared to certain other people. I've got to travel this week and I've abused your inbox enough but if I find anything else relevant I might come back in a few weeks. happy to have made people happy.
Oh, absolutely!! We've spent some words on her acting so far, but I know she was also a prolific writer and producer. What a queen!! And on top of that wonderful career, she's also a great person in her private life?!? I'm not surprised (kind of gathered it from all we talked about so far!), but still!! Rockstar is the perfect definition!!! Wow!!!
Also not surprised that Bea was kind and supportive of her -- everything I've found out about Bea points to the fact that she was a genuinely sweet, lovely person. It's wonderful that she got to work with someone who admired her so much!! She really deserved all the love and admiration in the world!
I agree. That's a very poignant observation on her part -- especially that 'someone you have to get to know not to be threatened by'. So many people seem to think of Bea as this brash, overbearing commanding type, and she certainly could be, on stage -- but from what I've read, in her private life she was shy and introverted and just a big sweetheart. And I agree that a big part of this disconnect is due to how she appeared to people! I love them both, but the difference in treatment between her and Betty White alone is proof that one's appearance can influence people's opinions much more than we like to admit.
Anon, have a safe trip, and thank you once again for everything you've told me!! Feel free to come back whenever you want! You've really made my month (and, judging from the reblogs, I'm not the only one!!). Thank you so much!
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phoenixcatch7 · 1 year ago
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Lmaoooo okay so MAJOR story spoilers ahead-
But I just finished the crisis at hyrule castle quest line (after thorough googling that I wasn't going into the final boss, of course) and went back to the landing where everyone gathered to discuss what to do next.
It was all very solemn and thoughtful, everyone theorising and letting it sink in how incredibly dangerous ganon was, and then purah and riju are like 'omg there was a sixth sage maybe we can find whatever they've left behind maybe it can help us' and then Link IMMEDIATELY speaks up like 'oh yeah about that I've already found her. Yeah she's fine she's going to help us. I've also got the master sword too by the way'.
Everyone was SHOOK. I got praise and amazement from all sides. Purah was like 'ALREADY???!! And you didn't think to TELL ME??' it was great.
Never felt more like canon link in my life. I've got a screenshot of everyone's :O?! face. Going to be riding that high for hours XD.
But it's very impressive that I managed to procrastinate so hard I managed to skip about three major plot lines just by squirrelling my way where I'm not supposed to be purely by accident lmao.
#totk spoilers#<- MAJOR ONES#loz#legend of zelda#tears of the kingdom#totk#loz totk#loz tears of the kingdom#Purah: I can't believe what we're up against. And how hard it must have been! But you're so calm and collected about it!#Me: aw thanks keep talking ^^#Purah: you're really a wonder link. I'm amazed by what you can do! It's up to us now! Let us help you!! ✌️#Ngl finding the thunder head heart door was pure. PURE chance. It was night and I couldn't see the arrow head on links bow#Pouring rain and thunder. Somehow managed to blindly claw my way to the top of the ruin and spent ages trying to find out what it was#At the very last second before I left I slipped on the side of the wall and fell all the way down. Straight onto the shrine.#Eventually gathered the hearts and came right back to do the whole thing. No idea it was supposed to be a triggered quest until now LMAO#But fr everyone was so shaken after ganons vision and link was just standing there like 🙄 he's already had a dozen of them XD#'pig man should have gone into theatre. Tryna play me with zelda when I know full well where she is. your precious phantoms were RUBBISH'#Seriously don't worry about the fight if you have the vows and decent armour I posed so silly and took several attacks to the spleen#And it did absolutely NOTHING. Several photos of link with phantoms furious heads in view and I lost MAYBE 3 hearts total. No anti gloom!!#I will say the image of broken doll zelda dissolving into gloom smoke will probably traumatise link but what's one more lol
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girlthativealwaysbeen · 11 months ago
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tag limit hit ho gayi yaar
#haan toh main kya bol rahi thi.#haan unhone sab itna jaldi kiya cheek pe kiss bhi kiya i was like arey please no aap rakho itne saare paise i can't 😭#cause she already bought me that hoodie for like 700 rs#she was like i can't be here for your birthday na#bhai meko toh rona hi aa gaya itna saara pyaar i swear mere parents ko iska 1% bhi nahi hai mujhse😭😭#and money has been tight bachpan se cause shit happened in like 2013 or something and since then we've all been single#mindedly striving for highest paying jobs best education and now that she's finally there (touchwood)#i think it means a lot to her being able to spend money freeely for her loved ones#and with her idk i do believe that she loves me yes because she said ek baari when she was crying because kuch kuch hua tha#but also attending meeting office ki online rote hue sob karte hue kyunki parents time dekhkar thodi na ladte hai#and i didn't know how to help her and i knew they were. fighting subah se and she hadn't eaten anything so i made her cornflakes ka doodh#(her fav) and gave it to her table pe but it just made her sob much much harder and she couldn't drink it😭#but later on she said ki im so thankful i have you mujhe dikh raha tha ki you wanted to help but you didn't know kaise karu still you tried#and just you being there was enough in that moment#like i don't know why im thinking all this today maybe because bua is here home and she was home that time too it happened in front of her#all this she's the only person who knows what kinda shit dad does#and just. past few weeks i really genuinely wanted to kms like i would sit in morning class and i would look down at my hands and see the#veins and think one cut and it would all be over you're so tired i know you can rest now#it got so bad that i started wearing full sleeve clothes only so i couldn't look at them#but now. i won't say it's completely gone that feeling but like#i want to live because so many plans i have to with my sister how can i leave her alone#like not just for her but for me for us i want us to be happy together like we planned#like yk us as a unit doing things we've always dreamed of visiting places and bachelorette parties and clubbing and living with her and her#bf/husband when i need somewhere to run to and going on a no budget shopping spree and storing ice cream tubs in our house#like they used to do in american movies and her having kids me getting over my disgust for them helping her raise them clean them being#the masi and#I DON'T KNOW OKAY OMG😭#i felt so loved finally after a long time SACH MEIN real way mein#oh pata hai she also offered to pay mere tui ki fees bc i was complaining to mom ki papa kaise taunt maarte hai😭#like it's 20 fucking thousand waise toh kam hi hai but as a salaried person it's still a lot 😭
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musical-chick-13 · 11 months ago
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#will probably delete this later but I needed to get it out somewhere#like I am so goddamn lonely. and it is making me feel LITERALLY as if I'm about to descend into genuine madness#but the PROBLEM is that. in order to not be lonely. you need to find other people. and you need to have reason to believe that those#people will keep wanting and making an effort to communicate with you#and the thing is THE THING. IS. that you cannot control what people do or feel. I have no say in what people think of me.#I have to rely on other people to build new relationships. and that is just not. something that I can do.#it's not something that makes SENSE for me to do anymore. so I try to figure out how to just not want human connection at all#you know maybe if I intentionally isolate myself or grow my cynicism on a regular basis I'll get desensitized to the point#where that's just genuinely not something I want anymore. so then I'm not lonely but I also didn't have to rely on anyone else being#trustworthy and accepting and willing to care about me to get to that point#but. I mean maybe some people can do the denial thing but I can't. I've been trying for years. and that carved-out-hole in my chest#hasn't gotten any better. it hasn't filled up or healed over or gone away. it's just gotten bigger.#but if you're genuinely convinced that you're just built in a way where no one is ever going to really love you...what the fuck do you do?#if connecting with other people is something I want but it's (in my probably-biased estimation) completely inaccessible because I am#an inherently shameful and unpleasant person just by virtue of existing...then I'm just stuck at an impasse. and I'll always be crying#over something I can't logically ever have. why bother pursuing it if I am just going to be rejected or hurt or disparaged or tossed out or#neglected or sidelined or any number of bad outcomes? if that's how pursuing any kind of new interpersonal relationships is going to end#then why bother? the only thing to do would be to learn how to be completely unreliant on other people in any way forever right?#but THAT'S not logistically feasible EITHER and I've already proven that I can't fucking do that so what's left? just always be miserable?#I DON'T WANT TO RESIGN MYSELF TO THAT!!!!#sorry. it's. getting to be late december & around the new year is when it always gets Bad™ so we're just. gonna be like this for a few week#In the Vents#ugh all of this would be better if I still lived near Best Friend™#anyone who gets to live near/with their Person™ PLEASE know how lucky you are and don't take that for granted
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kyoohyeon · 1 year ago
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autixel · 8 days ago
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When you hear the words "I got a college acceptance letter" WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK IS IN THAT LETTER
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unproduciblesmackdown · 3 months ago
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being alive at the time i gleaned some general elements abt encanto but never actually heard we don't talk about bruno beyond awareness it existed popping off & i think i heard like the title recited off key off rhythm but in a way that indicates speak singing nonetheless lol so upon experiencing it it's like oh but it's the Verses? while the last refrain goes harder but prior to that it's comparatively underwhelming to said verses which feels appropriate like verses / pieces of a larger picture & that a "we don't talk about him" as a disappointing Lid on infinitely richer more characterful & dynamic "but: talking about him" instances. like well personally it'd be like um seven foot frame....anyway besides being able to firsthand go like oh damn Real (the kind of thing you know exists if alive at the time) it's like alright hang on lol. one thing when a core theme is yeah like "is it a refuge if 'especial' vulnerability ultimately gets pushed out rather than made safer" subset like the parties whose even observation of truths (problems) & drawing attention to them is seen as Ruining Things, like if you're painted as Making futures that aren't simply what's desired or reassuring rather than a guidance via just observing & sharing the truth. but then it's like whaddaya mean living in fear of bruno stuttering and stumbling you could always hear him sort of muttering and mumbling lmao like now that's just Association between the Truth Perceiving & Telling behavior & behavior that's just apparently distinctive of the same person. & like Not Accidentally when [what if people were magic] specifics are obviously primarily abt a metaphorical meaning & like, indeed it was made clear like oh this situation isn't Just b/c [boo we hate your prophecies] & that [an Ability that isn't directed towards what anyone Wants / is "weird" even by these magic standards] isn't Coincidentally given to someone who just so happens to already be "weird" in other ways & be set up to have a different perspective & be pushed away due to having the supposed "extra" vulnerability of unmet needs / insufficient support, same as someone who doesn't "correctly" have any kind of magic ability....like yeah banger and also like Oh Yeah Kind Of Devastating re: that metaphorical resonance allowing for like [set the metaphor aside] now hang on with this about this disabled family member lol. misinterpretation to The Ruinerrr / The Problemmm / The Maliciousss etc (i.e. the scapegoatinggg) despite their efforts likely entirely to the contrary. then despite like, efforts aside, Just Existing, always kind of muttering & mumbling like & what of it. & then like oh sorry weird pets. weird [auspicious for adaptable tenacious thriving surviving; either way simply creatures, existing] pets.
truly like As Is The Idea I'm Sure quickly becomes like hands behind back standing at the window Uh Oh Sisters musing on all the [disabled person] metaphorical & already literal elements there. blair witching it in contemplation like We've All Been There whether being so resented for the mere disruption of "existing in a group as the 'abnormal' odd one out" or like people talking shit abt anything associated w/you as soon as you've left the room, which is also made relevant like, this wasn't Only directed at this person when seemingly permanently gone, nor were they unaware / unaffected prior....pacing in the Musing parlor like things don't Have to be compared to billions but i only ever even see so many things & it's like billions sure is like "get scapegoated rword" & then said scapegoating is presented as only beneficial & we hate autists & even beyond that it's like, grabbing billions, Imagine If Things Meant To Be About Something Were About Something. quite a contrast when they are & furthermore like, deliberate thought & Care for [who gets scapegoated & why] & the truth of like, people getting pushed aside & out who have a key perspective & are primed / liable to come through for others similarly vulnerable & the supposedly Ruinous, Problems Generating disruptiveness is actually the strongest effort to make essential changes to a group. & come through with like, it'd be undermining thee point if it was "reassuring" us like oh haha people will be supportive b/c bruno will be more normal, so great that it Didn't like no, no Normality Reassurance(tm), presence of abnormalities(tm), Good, & everyone Can Deal b/c if you don't then it's pushing this person away, is exactly what happens, including even if they're still Around but are being mistreated b/c that is entirely part of that pushing away like anyone's victim blaming is ready to pounce at any time but if someone can't stand to stay / leaves b/c they can't see another option like that's not out of nowhere nor Regardless of what full support & flexibility they were getting lol. these Active Measures everyone loves so much, which are everywhere always & would include Staying & Trying To Make It Work & those efforts would be "disruptive" & resented & Bringing It On Oneself & etccc smh
that is to all say like. Woww when clearly basically the core thread was these beats of like, the crucial site of [thee scapegoated], & why that comes down on someone & how that plays out. endless ideas about how someone weird(tm) & disabled (&/or queer. but there's no Or here lol. & again like it's a Context like, to even be the one person without kids? likely not living up to "full" correct sexuality in that way alone; any oppression's logics of "inferiority" being logics of ableism, ready examples being that "inferior" race, gender, sexuality (& their experiences as people classed as inferior) all being pathologized as disordered) are seen & treated as someone Ruining Things & who cannot belong like whew. bracing. winding. which, i also recall like i was watching with headphones & during this one dialogue pause i was like "?? what's this Extra Sound i heard there" & had to go over it like twice before being hit upside the head like well it Was still the dialogue pause but it was also bruno Stuttering in a very quiet whisper for the duration of that pause before continuing like iiiiiiii x_x
#[sitting waiting right here] for billions to have its vulnerable weird scapegoated misfit outcasts actually band together lmao....#like Sure Doesn't b/c billions is like we all hate weirdos & we all love telling them to shut tf up & go away to die or w/e. correctly#can't believe ultimately the Different fund disappears w/o its scapegoat & the Correct ''weird'' char is full axe cap mode finally#& it's sure not a Comment when billions affectionately gives them their free heavenly reward & Ensure zero scapegoating consequences#the [imagine if something about something was about something] approach to Banished Relatives being thoughtful & loving like#& here you see how even As they're banished everything isn't Really fixed for it incl. that people aren't Really just happy he's gone#billions is like no we killed him And everyone has gladly & legitimately forgotten he exists (save the instant it's time to use him)#the hilarious(tm) tragedies surrounding rian like billions' can't make her ''care'' abt winston be anything save more violence#can't pretend rian was anything more than [again we all Know your nads like w/taylor like w/winston] bagina + dialogue source combo in s6#when it's still dimly relevant for prince in s7 but you miss Nothing re: rian if you have no idea that plotline exists#& speaking of actual ''weirdness'' rian was never allowed to have: the tragedy of the tension of Closeted Transness present on screen fr#just as billions has no idea / further willingness to let rian be so ''weird'' as to actually care abt winston or abt not being a bully Lol#meanwhile i figured like oh i'll like a scapegoat. did know ahead of time like bruno's just some guy; not even ''redeemable'' antagonist#but In Practice & w/all that beloved Disabledness & crucial appreciation like you Need this guy; the understanding is Key#like well ofc i would kill for him. ofc just constant like mhm go off king slay fire etc. god tier character cherished forever thanks#but then also like im sure a zillion [intention; inspiration; thoughts] going into Tfw Family Things characters; a zillion interpretions &#thoughts to follow like it truly is Arresting like this clarity on A Disabled Person In The Group like. much much to consider & whew.#reference point like when autistic ppl in some job see an obvious [problem to future mess] pipeline; so you know bruno madrigal. My Vision#When You're So Hated like hey i wanna live unseen w/my so hated little friends lol. just reread how to disappear completely never be found#when it's like grabbing people Who Cares if someone's being ''obviously'' disabled or weird just as how they are existing godddd#people get so mean like Who Cares just talk to them; be around them. some effort some mind your own business some You're Not Above Them#when it's obviously You like yeah. nonzero but limited applicability like [specifically my own nuclear family] but re: Weird; Disabled#as ever i'll Relate & be like but i probably seem nothing like that. or maybe i am very much like that. kind of difficult to tell b/c like#you Do get the disinterest lol & feedback is Not that familiar / in depth even if positive like well. the emergent So Hated / Scapegoating#noting like if a character just seems refreshingly familiar; Understood; comfortable; fun; what's the odds they're cishet allistic lol....#anyway the epiphany like oh it was figurative blink & you miss it stuttering....did [waiiit] Pace that one off like inhaaale Waugh#in fact i'm sure the Verbalizing Effort has staved off the kind of [thinks about all of it a moment] to go Aauughhh about again#which; again; also something happening 5 yrs in re: the clairvoyant soothsayer autistic neuroqueer quant on the show w/No Thoughts abt it#ppl being invalidated by others having to validate themselves (& others in the same boat); billions going & How We Hate Them For It lol#oh & encanto's [excluded party's effort to partake] tragedy vs billions' [where's winston in this office? this event?] good riddance idc
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thethingything · 6 months ago
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we are finally off the phone! I'd misjudged the time in the last post but in total it as 2 hours and 5 minutes. I do not know what half that conversation even was but holy shit so much of it was her basically making herself out to be so generous and caring and talking about how worried she is about our mum and how terrible it is that other family members don't help her with anything.
meanwhile she calls our mum and asks her to do all this stuff for her and talks to her like shit and guilt trips her into doing stuff and I know about so much incredibly fucked up stuff she did when our mum was a kid but she doesn't know that we know she's done all this.
also she normally keeps our mum on the phone for this long but doesn't keep us on the phone for very long and it's really weird suddenly being treated like our mum, but she called us because our mum wasn't picking up the phone (she's at work and can't do that) and it's reminding me of the thing where when we had covid in 2021 and our mum couldn't answer the phone, everyone started calling us and dumping every responsibility they'd normally dump on our mum on us instead and basically treating us how they'd normally treat her.
like oh the usual family scapegoat isn't available? time to pester her eldest "daughter" until they have a breakdown and almost end up blocking everyone and refusing to talk to the rest of the family
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#''I started experiencing [very graphic description of symptom repeated over and over for at least 5 minutes]#and thought I'd ask you what you think it is because I figured you'd know'' well I don't know but I do feel sick now#I was about to fucking get something to eat but no I'm gonna have to wait for the nausea over that to die down first#she called us panicking and sounding like she was about to cry because our mum wasn't answering#and she ''had a feeling something had gone wrong'' and like okay but you fucking know she's at work. you know she can't answer#''your mum works so hard and I worry so much and I feel so bad when she does things for me''#you mean the things she does for you because you make her feel really guilty if she doesn't?#where you decide to stop answering calls from anyone else in the family so they all call her panicking and make her go and check on you#and you keep this up until she does what you want but then you still carry on doing this if something is even slightly not to your liking#and then you lie about why you wouldn't answer anyone but give 3 different contradictory reasons in half an hour#and keep changing the story when you realise your lies aren't being believed and you're starting to look bad?#are you sure you aren't just saying you feel bad to make it look less like you're manipulating her?#there's so much more that's so much worse but I don't want to get into that right now and I'd need to figure out the right trigger warnings#but god it's all just such a shitshow
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all4yoi · 3 months ago
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𝒥ust a bet﹕hyung line
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𝑒nhypen x fem!reader ︎︎⚹︎ cw: angst, no fluff (yet), reader is mostly viewed as a loser and nerd, lowercase intended, kinda went overboard with hoon's, reader gets called a bitch once, not proofread!
sypnosis﹕after a few months of dating, you find out you were just a bet.
part two !
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★ LEE HEESEUNG (wc 0.3k)
you and lee heeseung has been dating for a total of five months, and throughout those months you can confidently say that you were the happiest. he was the perfect boyfriend, his family loved you and so did yours.
today, heeseung promised he would take you on a date after his basketball practice despite your protests on how he should be resting instead. you wouldn't have agreed if it weren't for the fact that he had shot you with his pleading big doe eyes that never fails to make you agree on whatever he asks for. 
so here you were, making your way towards the gymnasium with your bag hanging on your left shoulder. the lack of dribbling and smacking basketball noise from behind the closed doors told you that their practice was done.
entering quietly out of habit, you were about to approach your boyfriend when you overheard his teammates talking to him.
"don't tell me you're still with her?" asked one of boys, an amused smile on his face. heeseung only raised a brow.
"what? you won the bet, you can dump her now. you're ruining our image you know? plus she's a total nerd and loser, you're much better with someone like yunhee." and with only just a few words, you felt your world crashing down.
right, who would date someone like you? you always found it weird, that heeseung just approached you one day in your biology class with the cheekiest smile on his face. the fact that he wouldn't leave you alone until you've agreed to go on a date with him. it all made sense now, why the popular basketball captain suddenly gained interest on the school's "biggest nerd."
"speaking of.." another guy spoke, nodding towards you with a cheeky smile. heeseung turned around only to be met with your glassy eyes.
you didn't move, wanting to hear him defend you. wanting to tell his teammates that you weren't a bet and he actually liked you throughout the months you two have been dating.
his silence said everything and with that you turned away and ran out of the gym.
"shit." he muttered, running after you.
★ PARK JONGSEONG (wc 0.3k)
"i'll pick you up later, okay?" your boyfriend of almost a year said softly through the phone. you've been dating jay since the first week of your first year in uni, others found your relationship weird. maybe because back in high school, jay never and refused to even spare you a glance. he was an asshole who looked at you as if you were the epitome of disgusting.
but the past is in the past now, right?
"okay baby, see you." you reply and put your phone down on your table, knowing that he's usually the one who ends the call.
you go back to the papers scattered on your table. the silence in your room was disturbed by sudden noises in your phone, turning to look, you see that jay hasn't ended the call.
picking your phone up with a smile, you were about to call out for him but a voice stopped you.
"i can't believe you've gone this far dude." you recognized the slightly muffled voice, it was a friend of jongseong's.
"what do you mean?" your boyfriend grumbled. the audio was muffled, you figured he was moving and the phone was in his pocket.
"you're still dating her!" the voice exclaimed, as if amused. "seriously, i didn't think you'd take that bet seriously. fine you win, i'll clean your car for a month. but you've gotta cut it out, you're starting to disgust me." the boy laughed.
before you could hear what your boyfriend would say, you ended the call. your hand was trembling and tears were falling from your eyes unconsciously.
were all those months just a joke to him? were your feelings really worth a free car wash for just a month? were you that unworthy?
jay was an asshole back in high school, you thought he changed. turns out he didn't, you felt like a fool for falling for his antics.
★ SIM JAEYUN (wc 0.3k)
if someone would be asked who you were, they'd all say the same thing. a loner, pathetic loser, and a nobody with a pretty face.
because what was a pretty face if you had no friends and a social life?
you almost believed you would die alone, you were too socially awkward to make friends. so when sim jaeyun, the transferee, approached you with a warm smile and a hand outstretched for a shake, you were beyond shocked.
your relationship went from being block mates, friends, then next thing you knew you two were dating. at first you were reluctant to enter a relationship, scared that it would ruin your friendship, but he insisted you both tried. that was three months ago.
you didn't have any friends, but atleast you had jake.
jake who smiles at you as if you had carved the stars in your hands. jake who would never forget to bring your coffee every morning. he was everything you ever needed. he was it for you, you only hoped he felt the same towards you.
walking through the hallway of the school, you stopped infront of your locker only to be met with a sticky note on it.
HOW LONG CAN JAKE LAST WITH LOSER L/N?
A WEEK : 卌 - 卌 - 卌 - 卌 - III
FIVE MONTHS : 卌 - I
A YEAR : II
Furrowing your brows, you stare at the note as your breathing grew heavy. It was obvious that the paper was old, it had folds and it was only stuck on your locker with a washi tape.
"what are you doing l/n? go on, cast your vote." a mocking voice said from beside you followed by a bunch of laughter. "personally, i thought he'd last a day. i guess i'll vote for five months then." then the hand went and tallied on the five months category.
"what's going on here?" upon hearing your boyfriend's voice, you fled away immediately, not wanting to face him. everytime something good happens in your life, it's always ripped away from you. jake was just like them, you were just a toy for their own entertainment.
★ PARK SUNGHOON (wc 0.5k)
"i'm sorry baby, i really am busy with practice tomorrow." your boyfriend, sunghoon, says in genuine sorry. it was the fifth time you have asked him to meet your parents, who also by the way was so desperate to meet the boy you've been dating for seven months now.
every time you ask him, he's always busy. either with practice, a project, a family matter, or whatever excuse he can come up with. but you always brush it off, knowing he means well and he really is busy as he's an athlete student.
"i'll meet them next week, okay? i promise." that's also the same thing he says everytime too, and once again, you only nod in response.
you and sunghoon met in a physics class. he was clutching his head with a frown on his face as he desperately tried to understand what the professor was going on about.
you remember clearly the way he approached you in the library, a physics book on his left hand as his right scratched his nape. "can.. i noticed- uh, can you help me with this topic?"
that was where your relationship started. you tutored him and helped him improve his grade. when he got an A on the finals, he kissed you on the lips in glee. he was taken aback by his own actions but nevertheless asked you out after.
"i love you," he whispers, pressing a kiss on your temple. "let me get something from my room." you hum in response as he takes his arm that was previously wrapped around you before going up to his room.
you can't help but notice the way his phone was blowing up from beside you.
you weren't the type to snoop around other people's phones, especially your boyfriend. it just felt wrong, you trusted him fully. but the way it kept ringing with text notifications, you just couldn't help it.
looking back to the stairs, you note he isn't back and there was still rummaging noises from his room.
taking his phone, you enter his passcode and read the messages from one of his group chats.
JONGSU
lol don't tell me she asked again.. em ba rrah sing
DAEHYUN
hahah when is she gonna take a hint?? 💀
JOON
you gonna blame her? hoon's been at it for months lmao
DAEHYUN
i actually can't believe he went that far, wasn't it only supposed to be for a month? 🗿
JONGSU
a week actually, but ig that bitch y/n was so easy. yk hoon likes to get his ego fed 💀💀
putting the phone down, you exhaled in disbelief. you took your bag from the floor and threw it over your shoulder and went to the door of his apartment to put your shoes back on.
"baby?" sunghoon emerged from the stairs, looking at you curiously. "you're going already?" he asked, extending an arm towards you but you slapped it away. the tears on your eyes shocking him.
"hey, hey what's wrong?" he tried again but his hand was yet again slapped away.
"i don't want to see you ever again." was the last words you uttered to him (shakily) before leaving his apartment.
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