#I miss seeing you drinking water and the way you got agitated when it was time for a meal

[kyoohyeon]

[redroomreflections]

Gentle Hands Chapter 2

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: Natasha suspects Reader is in an abusive relationship and tries to convince her to leave

2/10

W/c: 7.7k

Masterlist | General Masterlist

Warning: Domestic violence

Note: Yes, I have a lot of WIPS sue me!

There were a few other people in the gym, but the noise of the punching bag bouncing under the weight of her fists drowned out their voices. The muffled noises coming from them only seemed to agitate her more as she reigned down on the bag. She’s been here for an hour already. She can’t say when she’ll stop. All she knows is that she’s angry. Natasha is upset with herself. It’s been three weeks since the last time she saw you. Three weeks since the last time she spoke to you. She stopped following you after you pleaded for her in the cafe to leave you alone. She wanted to do anything but. She wanted to follow you to your apartment and give that man a piece of her mind and then her fists. Who does he think he is? He doesn’t deserve you. He deserves an early grave.

She tries to push every violent thought about that man out of her mind as she punches again. She imagines the bruises she saw on your skin. No one else saw it but the way you winced. The way you tensed under his touch. It had her blood boiling. It took everything in her not to say anything. At first, she thought she was seeing things. She’s not the best at relationships herself. One thing she’s thankful for is being an expert in body language. She knows the differences in human emotions. She’s studied them extensively to be able to manipulate them. So when she saw how you went from opinionated and lively to meek and quiet under his gaze she knew something was wrong. Natasha breathes out a huff when Steve’s hands wrap around the punching bag. She glares at him as he supports it. She doesn’t stop. She doesn’t want to.

“What’s got the spider in such a mood?” Sam steps over to them. They’d been watching Natasha wail on this bag for a while. They figured they could just ask her what was wrong.

She pauses. Should she tell them? Was it their business to know? You’re their friend too. They miss you all the same.

“Have either of you talked to y/n?” She asks instead. She turns back to the bag. She doesn’t wait for an answer as she fixes her stance and gives the bag a mean right hook. It barely moves under Steve’s stronghold.

“Not in a while,” Steve’s pensive look annoys her just a bit more.

“She hasn’t answered.” Sam shrugs. “I sent her like fifty cooking videos. A guy can take a hint.” He shakes his head.

“She did quit without notice,” Steve begins. “I figured she just doesn’t want to talk to us. It happens.”

“It’s not her,” Natasha says between punches. She knows at that moment she needs to tell them. “She can’t.”

“What is she sick or something?” Sam asks. Natasha stops, dropping her hands beside her before she looks between them.

“She’s not sick. Her boyfriend gets handsy with her.” Natasha explains. “He’s controlling her.”

“What?” She can see the way Steve is going to react. She can tell the both of them will leave the tower right this second in search of you. In search of him. She holds up a hand.

“She didn’t admit it to me at first but I could see the bruises,” Natasha frowns. “That and he practically had her by her throat at Tony’s party.”

“Jesus,” Steve swears. He places a hand on his forehead. “Does she know that you know?”

“She does,” Natasha moves over to take a drink from her water bottle. “I talked with her a couple of weeks ago. She doesn’t want help.”

“It’s that easy? We have to go and get her. She has a kid. What if-” Steve begins but Natasha interrupts him.

“She doesn’t want the help,” Natasha says again. “I tried. She’s convinced herself it’s love.” Natasha frowns. She doesn’t fully understand the hold he has on you.

“Then we have to show her it’s not.” Steve doesn’t let his anger get the best of him. He’s blaming himself now. What if you get hurt? What if Kaia gets hurt? He’s never even met the little girl and he knows how much he wants to protect her. She’s yours. You’re one of his favorite people. How did he not notice? “We can help her leave.”

“Not if she doesn’t want to,” Natasha’s quiet admission is unsettling. They hadn’t thought about that. Did you want to leave?

“Statistically, it takes seven times for a domestic violence victim to leave before it’s for good.” Sam hates to give the numbers. He hates that they even have to be numbered.

“Seven?” It’s too many.

“Seven,” Sam confirms. “She may be ashamed or embarrassed. No one wants to admit they’re in such a vulnerable state. Having a kid just complicates things. With cases like this, I’m no expert, but if she doesn’t have the resources or the money he could win custody.”

“Even if he knocks her around?” Steve seethes. How did he miss this? He tries to comb through every single interaction he’s ever had with you. When he first met you, it was down in the lobby. It was a week into you working at the tower when he approached you. He was the only Avenger that would come down to personally get his packages. He enjoyed ordering drawing supplies off of Amazon. Apparently he only recently discovered it. You told him about a cool store named Michael’s just outside of the city that had tons of art supplies. So he invited you. On your lunch break, you showed him around the store. You were instant friends. He never had an inclination that you were in any sort of danger. He didn’t even know about your daughter. What kind of a friend did that make him?

“If there’s no paper trail or proof of any kind it’s tough,” Sam informs him.

“Don’t go blaming yourself, Cap.” Natasha places a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“So how do we help?”

“Keep the line of communication open,” Natasha suggests. “I gave her a burner. I don’t know if he has her phone tied up or anything. I told her she can call any time.”

“If and when she comes we allow her to us with open arms,” Sam says. “I’m going to go and make lunch. You hungry?” Steve shakes his head 'no' while Natasha thanks him. “Keep me updated. I’ll keep sending her the videos.” It’s Sam’s way of bonding with you. The news of your situation has rocked both men to the core. Someone they know, someone they love, is being mistreated right under their noses and really there is nothing they can do.

Neither Natasha nor Steve speaks until Sam leaves the gym. Natasha takes another sip from her water bottle. She watches the emotions play out on Steve’s face. She knows the feeling. She feels guilty too.

“How didn’t I notice ?” Steve’s eyes trail up to Natasha.

“Sometimes when you’re going through things like that it’s easier to lie,” Natasha shrugs. “It becomes second nature.”

Steve wants her to elaborate a bit more. He wants to ask her how you’re doing. He has so many questions that he isn’t sure he wants the answer to. His biggest question is how Natasha became your point of contact. As far as he knew neither of you had ever hung out. He would see you converse in passing. He remembers a few times you asked Natasha for her input on a debate with the guys but nothing more. Nothing would lead him to believe either of you were even friends. No matter how he knows that Natasha cares. He could see it in her face that she was bothered by this entire thing. Who wouldn’t be? There was something else he could see on Natasha’s face.

“You like her,” He guesses. Natasha’s brow quirks.

“She’s likable, Rogers.” Natasha dismisses.

“No, it’s-” Steve presses.

“Save it,” Natasha ends whatever he wants to question. She walks out of the gym leaving him to his own devices. She doesn’t want to have this conversation right now. She can’t even entertain the idea. Even if you did leave Keith. Even if you did break up with him, what makes her better than him? She’s killed people for a living. She’s been even more violent than him. Somehow it doesn’t feel the same. She’s not necessarily worthy of someone so good. That doesn’t mean she won’t continue to try and help you.

***************************

If you walk long enough, you come to understand things you never would have realized before. Before living here, you took a car everywhere. Your hometown wasn’t really a walkable city. It’s not something that people did. So you never really paid attention to the people out on the streets. You didn’t have to memorize a bus route. You didn’t interact with the street vendors. Here everything is different. Each day, you’d walk aimlessly around New York City. You had no particular place in mind. You would go wherever your feet would take you. Sometimes you and Kaia would visit Tariq’s Halal Food. He has the most amazing chicken and rice plate. The spices are amazing and he always gives you a little something extra for the baby. Other times you check out the tourists in Times Square. They’re always so excited to be here. They love it. They walk past you without a care in the world.

At mile four, your body protested. You thought you couldn’t go another step. The motivation to remove yourself from the tension of your apartment only pushed you forward. Kaia deserves fresh air. She deserves to feel the tranquility of life outside of those walls. So every single morning, when Keith has left for work, you walk. He has a tracker on your phone. It’s a location app of some kind. He told you he needs to know where you are at all times. For safety.

“It’s too dangerous for such a young and beautiful girl to be in the city without protection.” The irony of that statement. He’s the person you really need protection from. He checks the app ever so often. He knows you won’t push the boundary he’s set. It’s not in you to fight back. You don’t really care to delete it as you know it’ll cause more problems. There will be more conflict. More bruises.

You don’t really have a spot in mind. You’re just walking through Central Park. You spot a park bench that will give you some reprieve from your sore legs. You tap down the stoppers of Kaia’s stroller to sit her beside your legs. She sits in her stroller so patiently. Her cheeks are rosy from the cool air of fall. She coos at the birds flying past. It almost sounds as if she’s mimicking them.

“Mama,” Kaia points a finger towards the pigeon walking past you two. She claps excitedly hoping to get the attention of the bird. "Mama!”

“It’s a bird,” You tell her. She repeats the word.

“Hi!” She waves towards the birds. The bracelet on her wrist jingles as her hand moves.“Hi!” She repeats louder. Her attempts are amusing. She stretches in the stroller. She wants a closer look. That probably won’t be a good idea but you will follow her. You reach over to unbuckle the belt. You hep her out to stand on her own two feet. Kaia crouches down, a determined look on her face, as she coos at the birds again. Her lips purse in frustration as she stands to go a bit closer.

“Hey, Kai, let’s not get too close.” You grab the back of her coat to keep her from going any further.

“No,” Kaia frowns. She shrieks loudly in protest ultimately scaring the birds away.

“You’re a handful you know that,” You laugh as you pick her up.

“Bur!” Kaia shouts into the open.

“I know but we have to be gentle with birds,” You go to sit back on the bench. You place Kaia in your lap but she fights against you. She wants to do the walking now. You allow her to move onto the bench on her own. She stands to look over the back of it. She seems so happy. So unaware. You take another picture of her. She’s bent over the bench, her chin over the top, as she peers down at whatever is on the ground below her. You scroll through your contacts to find your mom’s number. Your thumb wavers over the message button. You want to send her pictures. You want to send her updates. She would love Kaia. So would your dad.

Things have been rocky between you ever since you told them you would be following Keith to New York. They didn’t like the idea at all. They begged you to stay home. Your mom seemed to sense how he wasn’t a nice guy. You fought tooth and nail for them to believe that he is just misunderstood. He loves you. He wants the best for you. When you got pregnant you lost all of your contact with them. They still send you cards on holidays. Your mom still texts you Happy Birthday. You haven’t seen her face in so long. You want to hold her. You want to smell her again. She’s always managed to smell so good. You miss her cooking for you and curling up onto the couch next to you with one of her favorite books.

Keith has managed to isolate you from everyone you’ve ever known. Even now what are you supposed to do with that? Who could you tell? Who would you talk to? Who would want to listen to such a sad case? You can’t even fight back. You can’t even tell him to leave you alone. It’s a struggle every day and still, you stay. When you look at Kaia you have hope. She’s partially his too. Surely, someone who has helped to make something so sweet can’t be all too bad. It may seem dumb but you’re holding onto the small hope that he will change.

“Are you hungry, baby bird?” You ask Kaia. For a moment, you’re reminded of the recipes Sam keeps sending you on Instagram. You’ve turned off your read receipts. He won’t know if you’ve looked at them or not. You do. Every single one. Just like your mother, your finger hovers over the reply button. He wouldn’t care. You don’t really feel like pretending. “Do you want food?” You ask Kaia.

“Food!” Kaia repeats. She turns on the bench, almost toppling over, as she follows the sound of an airplane over you. Your hands catch her before she can fall.

“Okay, let’s go home and eat some food.” You tell her.

You take a long way home. You don’t know why but you pass the tower. You know you won’t be able to glimpse anything from any side. You wonder what everyone is doing tonight. You want so badly to go in. You want to knock on Natasha’s door. Will her offer still be there? You want to introduce them to Kaia. She would love everyone. For just a second you debate going in. You’re not sure that would be a good idea.

So, you push Kaia’s stroller past the building and down to the train. Lunch and a nap will do the both of you good.

****************

It’s the next day and Keith is home for the weekend. He’s not really paid attention to you which is a blessing on its own. Besides his forehead kiss in the morning, and a kiss on the cheek for Kaia he’s been in his own world. He left this morning for a run, he returned to finish up last-minute paperwork, and now he’s been playing his video game for hours. His mood seems decent enough and you stay out of the way. You’re making dinner tonight. A simple pot roast with carrots and potatoes. It’s from one of the recent recipes Sam sent you. This time you dared to reply with a heart. It’s the least you owe him.

“Oh, damn, take a shot!” He shouts into his mic. It seems like a pretty intense game. It’s basketball. You recognize it as the one you used to play together when you were first dating. Kaia is somewhere in front of him with her toys. She’s been pretty clingy today. All-day she’s been asking to be cuddled or carried. You don’t really mind it. Her attention has been turned towards Keith as he’s not usually home with her. She tugs at the leg of his shorts hoping to catch his attention. He doesn’t pay any mind to her. She’s not really fazed by his loud screaming. He plays video games every week.

You’re in the kitchen so you can’t really tell what’s going on. You can hear him shout again just as you pull the roast out of the oven. The music you have serves as background noise. You prepare a plate for you and Keith. There’s no sense in giving Kaia her own when she will just want to eat off of both of yours. You bring Keith his plate setting it on the coffee table.

“Thanks, babe,” Keith says too distracted by the game to say much else. Kaia looks at his plate in interest. She tugs at Keith’s shorts again. She wants to share.

“I can take her,” You say and Keith waves you off.

“No, she can sit with me.” He pauses the game to set Kaia onto his lap. He grabs the plate, avoiding her grabby hands, to poke through the food. Kaia leans back into his chest, she waits patiently for him to give her a mouthful. When he does she hums in appreciation. “This is really good. Why haven’t you made this before?”

You sit next to him with your food. You shrug.

“It’s a new recipe,” You inform him. He smiles down at the food before looking down at Kaia. He lets her take a hold of his fork and allows her to feed him this time. He even laughs when she misses most of his mouth. Kaia has that concentrated look on her face as she grabs more of the roast mashing it into her own mouth.

“She’s getting big,” Keith comments. You nod. “I want to bring her to work with me one day. Both of you.” He glances up to gauge your reaction.

“I’d like that,” You say.

“I think I have a big promotion coming up,” He sets his plate down to bounce Kaia in his lap. “Maybe then we could buy a house. A dog? Kaia would love a dog.” He kisses the top of her head. “Then we could get married. I know it’s out of order but I’ve been thinking.”

You stop mid-chew at his words. Everything in your mouth feels thicker as he continues to speak. Marriage? Did you really want to marry him? What would that mean for your future? It makes you sick to your stomach and you quickly try to hide the shock.

“Do you not want to get married?” Keith asks.

“No, I do,” You assure him. You hope it’s a convincing lie. “I just didn’t think this was the way you’d ask.”

“Oh,” Keith looks down at Kaia thoughtfully. “I didn’t think you were the type of girl that would want the whole proposal thing. I mean we’ve been together for four years now. I thought it was just implied.”

Just implied. Was he that out of touch with you and your feelings? Did he really not care? It’s upsetting that even with everything he’s put you through he can’t seem to get it right. Did he even love you?

Of course, he does. He’s here with you. He hasn’t left you. He’s the only one that hasn’t left.

“Okay,” You say finally.

“Good, we can spend as much as you want on the wedding,” Keith says. “Maybe even invite your friends? You think they would want to come?”

Would they? You’re not too sure you even want to invite anyone else.

“I’ll think about it,” You say. He seems satisfied with this answer as he bounces Kaia again.

When you’re both done with dinner Keith takes Kaia for a bath and puts her to bed. He’s giving you the night off. You take the time to put dishes away while listening to your favorite songs. You’re trying to ignore the dread filling your entire body.

Marriage?

You lean against the counter, pushing all of your weight against your palms, as you try to take deep breaths.

Marriage?

You try again to calm down when there’s a loud smack from Kaia’s bedroom followed by the sound of her crying. Your heart drops as you move to investigate. He hasn’t? He wouldn’t. The thing is you know her cries. You have every single one of them memorized. This one sounds different.

“Keith,” You say slowly. You’re afraid of what you’ll find in this room. You round the corner. Kaia is on the floor, seated on her bottom, with her hands against her face as she cries. She’s red with her eyes screwed up. He’s standing over her with a look of anger on his face.

“Fuck,” Keith shakes his head.

“What happened?” You ask. You move to pick Kaia up to console her and he stops you.

“No,” He says. “She kept trying to touch the outlet and I told her no. She wouldn’t listen so I slapped her hands.”

“Keith,” This time you say his name and it’s dripping with so much disappointment. You kneel to pick her up and this time Keith raises his hand to push against your chest.

“I said no. She needs to learn.” Keith frowns. “When I say no I mean it.”

“I know but she’s fourteen months old,” You look down at her. Her cries are louder as she realizes you’re not going to comfort her. “She’s going to test boundaries.”

“And like an idiot, you would have let her touch the outlet?” Keith looks at you with such disgust. “You have to be kidding me. You’re lucky I’m here or she would be terrible. I’m not raising a bad ass kid.”

“She’s not bad, Keith, she’s one year old.” You say firmly. You’re emphasizing her age. She shouldn’t have to learn through punishment like that. She’s only been on the Earth for fourteen months. He shouldn’t be hitting her. She won’t understand it. Chances are she’ll try it again. That doesn’t give him the right to violate her like this. You never discussed spanking with him. It’s not something you ever thought about doing. She’s so tiny and defenseless. She’s only curious and learning. Why would you hit her for that? “She doesn’t know. We can just put covers on the outlets.”

“What’s that going to solve?” He’s getting agitated. “You have to say no or she’s going to walk all over you. The only way she’s going to learn is a slight tap. It’s not like I hit her hard. She’ll be fine.”

You don’t care how much he justifies it. You don’t care if he thinks that she’s learned.

“Let me pick her up,” You beg him.

“Jesus, you’re so soft.” He walks out of the room, bumping his shoulder against you in the process. You ignore the slight pain to kneel down and take Kaia in your arms. “When she’s disrespecting you don’t call me to discipline her if you’re going to be so dramatic about it.”

You close your eyes at his words. You rub your hand soothingly along Kaia’s back as she cries into your neck. She lifts to show you her hand with a pout. More tears threatened to spill from her eyes as she tried to communicate what happened.

“Dada,” Kaia moans.

“I’m so sorry, Kai,” You take her hand to kiss it. You hold it against your lips as you rock the both of you. You take in a shaky breath.

“What happens when he hits her too?” Natasha’s voice resounds in your head. Was she right? Would he continue to hit her? Would he continue to hurt her? Would you keep allowing it?

Kaia lies her head against you as her cries quiet down. She’s depending on you to protect her and you can’t even do it.

***************************

There are days that go by and that night has been on your mind heavily. You’re lying in bed next to him as he sleeps. Everything in you is screaming for you to leave but you can’t. You can’t. What would change for you if you did? What did you have to offer the world?

**************************

The next incident happens a day later. Keith is coming home from a night with friends. He’s drunk and loud. He comes into the house singing some crazy show tune. He kicks off his shoes at the door and heads to the fridge with one purpose. Another beer. He pops it open with ease before taking a sip. He drinks a good quarter of it. His gaze is focused on a picture hanging on the wall in front of him. It’s one of you and Kaia. She’s only a few months old in that one. It’s a sweet picture as you smile down at her sleeping face. He remembers that day because he was there.

He can’t pinpoint a time where everything changed for him. Suddenly, he realizes he misses you. He invited you out but you declined. Mingling with his friends was the last thing you wanted to do. He turns off the kitchen light to head for your bedroom. He doesn’t stop to check Kaia’s. He knows that she’s sleeping.

He crawls over the covers in his clothes to lie on top of you. You stir under his touch as he presses kisses to your face and forehead. You groan hoping he’ll stop to let you sleep.

“Wake up,” He says. He lifts just slightly so you can lie on your back. He rests between your legs with his chin on your chest. Your hands find his hair in the darkness to comb through it.

“Keith, what time is it?” You mumble. It has to be pretty late.

“I don’t know,” He shrugs. “I missed you.” You peek your eyes open to look at him. He looks good like this. You can tell he’s drunk but you don’t mention it. He leans up to press a kiss against your lips. He kisses you soundlessly, long, hard, and a bit sloppy. He pushes the blanket from your legs. His hands find the hem of your shirt to push it to rest just over your breast. He traces his left hand over your abdomen before making a path to cup your right breast. Only his touch is too firm and certainly too rough as he squeezes. You hiss into his mouth pulling away just slightly. “Sorry,” He apologizes as he tries again. His touch is gentler this time. He runs his lips along your jaw licking at your neck before giving it a soft bite. You moan against him before stopping in your tracks. He smells different. Feminine. It’s a perfume that doesn’t agree with your stomach.

“Keith,” You question though he doesn’t pause. His kisses are hurried and sloppier by the minute. His hands find the waistband of your panties and he tries to tug at them before you stop him. “Keith,”

“What?”He huffs in annoyance. He pulls back to look into your eyes.

“Did you sleep with her?” Your voice is small. You’re afraid to even ask the question. You almost feel stupid. Almost. The way he bites his lip confirms everything you need to know. You don’t know who she is but it’s apparent he’s been seeing her for a while. Your heart sinks. Tears prick your eyes. He needs to move now. He didn’t even have the decency to shower to rid himself of her smell before falling into bed with you.

“It doesn’t mean anything,” He says. You push at his chest to urge him to move. He sits back on his legs.

“I can’t believe you.” You swing your legs out of the bed to stand. You immediately head for the closet. In your blind rage you don’t notice him standing up. You can’t take any of it anymore. “I can’t do this.” You whisper to yourself. You find a duffel bag tossing whatever clothes you can find into them. He watches you with an eerie look in his eyes.

“You’re not serious,” He mutters. “You can’t be mad that I fucked her. She doesn’t mean anything. You’re the one i’m marrying.”

“How does that make it better?” You question. You toss the bag onto the bed to dig through your drawers. You find a pair of pants that fit just right. You drag them up your legs. He watches you. “You have put me through so much. So much Keith. You hit me. You kept me from my friends. You hit Kaia. Then you go and cheat after months of you accusing me of cheating. I can’t take it.” You zip the bag not really caring if anything matches before you throw it over your shoulders. You try to calm yourself enough to enter Kaia’s room. She’s still sleeping. You don’t really know where you’re going. You don’t care. All you know is that you can’t be here any more. You don’t bother with the lights of her bedroom. You reach into her crib, cradling her into your arms, hoping not to wake her. You struggle a bit carrying her but you’re successful. You reach for a blanket to keep her warm.

You need to leave.

Keith catches a glimpse of you from the bedroom. He follows you to the front door. You don’t even manage to grab the handle before he’s taking a fistful of your hair. You groan in pain, trying to keep the sound in check, so not to jostle Kaia.

“Where do you think you’re taking my daughter?” He whispers harshly into your ear. His grip tightens as he pulls your neck back further.

“Keith, let me leave.” You beg him.

“Put her down,” He tugs just enough that you follow him to the living room. He instructs you to put her down gently. Kaia moans but settles into the fabric of the couch. He praises you for listening before tugging you over to the kitchen. He rips the bag from your arms all the while maintaining his hold on your head. “You want to leave, go. You’re not taking her with you.”

His words sound good. They do. They also sound incredibly stupid. No way were you going to leave Kaia with him.

“Keith, I’m not leaving her with you,” You whimper. “Let us go. Just let us go.”

“You’re painting me as such a damn mad man it’s fascinating.” Keith lets you go to slap his hands against the counter. “I give you everything. Everything! Why can’t you just be fucking grateful? I’m marrying you. I’m giving you kids. I give you money.”

“What am I being grateful for?” You exclaim. “You hit me.You hit me. Keith there’s nothing more for us in this relationship but pain and hurt and anger. I can’t keep living like this. I can’t marry you, Keith. I can’t bring anymore babies into this situation.” This was the wrong thing to say. He closes the distance between the two of you. You don’t have time to react before he is pushing you against the wall with everything in him. You try to hide the groans of pain as he slaps against your face. You can feel the moment your lip splits. You look at him in defiance. He won’t break you. Not this time.

He moves to smack you again when a cry from the couch stops you both.

“Mama,” Kaia calls out. She’s probably so confused right now. The noises. The darkness. “Mama.”

“Keith, she’s going to come looking for me.” You whisper brokenly. She’s big enough to climb off of the couch. He lowers his hand. He drops them against his side. Nothing else is said as you both listen to Kaia’s crying from a few feet away. Finally, he steps back to allow you to go and grab her. You rush to her side, your heart breaking at the look in her eyes, as she raises her arms for you to pick her up. You don’t quite trust yourself to hold her so you sit on the couch next to her. She crawls into your lap to burrow herself into your arms. You don’t have it in you to comfort her. Not when you can’t even comfort yourself.

Minutes pass and her breathing evens out. She’s asleep again. You feel so dumb. Why did you push him tonight? Why did you have to ask him about it? Why couldn’t suspicions just be suspicions? You lift her from your lap to place her against the cushions once again.

You have to check. You need to check.

You tiptoe down the hallway and into the bedroom. You peek your head around the corner to see what he’s doing. Sure enough he’s asleep still in his clothes. His soft snores signal that he’s dead to the world. It’s now or never.

You walk back to the kitchen where you reach under the sink. You finger along the pipes to grab at the tape around it. You finally touch a sleek metal, ripping it from the pipe, and tapping it. You slip it into your pocket. Next you grab the bag and walk over to the couch. You shush Kaia as she whimpers. You grab the blanket to throw over her before taking measured steps towards the front door. You can’t bother with a jacket. It’s now or never. Your hands tremble as you reach for the lock. The cool metal is scary. So scary. You turn the lock with trepidation. He’s not going to wake up. Hopefully he doesnt. You reach down to turn the knob, backing away from the door, and opening it. Once it’s open you take care to close it softly. Your heart is beating so hard as you walk towards the elevators. You tap the button with ease, rocking Kaia in your arms, as you wait for it to reach your floor.

You don’t know how things are going to go. You really don’t care. All you know is that you have to get out. You let out a breath when you’re in the elevator. You lean heavily against it as you finally allow yourself to breathe. You have to get out of here. You have to get far away from here. You ignore the night security when he greets you. You walk out of the building and down the street. You don’t know how far the walk is. You don’t have a particular place in mind. A half hour has gone by and you finally stop. The tears watering your eyes leave you blind as you find an empty bench to sit on. The city is quiet tonight. No one is out here. The traffic lights blink red in front of you as you manuever Kaia in your arms to take the phone out of your pocket.

You power it on opening it to the blank screen. There’s one number programmed into it that you know of. You press the first contact bringing it to your ear for it to ring. You wait, shaking your leg nervously, as you pray for her to pick up.

Finally, she answers with a groggy “Hello.”

You can’t bring yourself to speak. You simply breathe into the microphone as you try not to break down. You can hear the rustling of sheets. She must be sitting up.

“Y/n?” She asks and you hold back a sob. It feels so good to hear her voice.

“Y-yeah,” You say into the phone. You blink back tears again. “Nat,” You sniffle.

“Where are you?” She asks.

“I don’t.I don’t really know. I think I’m on Albany,” You stutter looking for the street signs. When you find one you repeat the intersection to her.

“I’m coming to get you. Don’t move.” She says.

“Okay,” You look down to Kaia. “Please don’t hang up.”

“I won’t.” Natasha promises. You can hear more shuffling and you don’t know how fast she moves but she’s already down in the parking garage by the sound of the car unlocking. “How’s Kaia?”

“She’s good,” You look down at her sleeping peacefuly in your arms. “S-s-she’s sleeping.” Your voice breaks.

“You’re doing good then, dorogaya.” Natasha starts the engine of the car. You can’t help the flutter in your chest at Natasha’s nickname. “I’m coming. Just stay on the phone.”

You nod to yourself. You’re exhausted and don’t have much else to say. You listen to the sounds of her driving. She uses her turn signals. She curses at a driver that almost cuts her off. She apologizes when she remembers she’s not alone.

“You curse in Russian,” You laugh. You don’t know why you find the cliche so funny. Natasha snorts.

“Yes, I do.” Natasha smiles over the phone. You don’t realize how much time has passed before she’s parked in front of you on the street. She presses the hazard buttons, before exiting the car. She walks over to you silently. She hangs up the phone in her hand before tucking it into her pocket. “Thank you for calling me.” She tells you. She glances down to Kaia and then back to you. “I don’t have a car seat for her.”

“It’s okay, I’ll hold her.” You hike her up further in your arms. Natasha nods. She grabs your bag, popping the trunk to throw it in the back, as you slide into the back seat. You know it’s not necessarily safe but there’s nothing else you can do. Natasha gets into the driver’s side. She puts her seat belt on before putting the car in drive.

You look out of the window at the empty streets. It kind of looks how you feel right now.

“I’m taking you to one of my safehouses,” Natasha says. “The tower is secure but I don’t think you want to deal with Tony and his cameras right now.” You nod wordlessly. Natasha peeks at you from the front seat. Your head lolls to the back of the seat as you close your eyes. For the first time that night you close your eyes feeling peaceful. Natasha is tapping at your shoulder when your eyes pop open.

“Dorogaya, we’re here.” She already has the duffel bag in hands. She helps you out of the car. You both walk through the well lit parking garage. This place is fancy. You wonder for a moment how Natasha has been able to keep this a secret. She walks with you to an elevator and presses the button. Neither of you say anything as she leads you to the fifth floor. She unlocks the door with ease, letting you walk inside first, before closing the door behind you. She flicks the lights on and sets the keys on the counter. You practically jump out of your skin as a. black figure jumps out in front of you.

“Sorry,” Natasha shoos the black cat away. “This is Liho and he knows he knows he’s not supposed to be on the counters.” Natasha shakes her head. She opens one of the cabinets to grab a can of cat food. She cracks it open allowing you to take everything in while she does. Liho meows and Natasha shakes her head. “You’re so impatient.” She dumps the food into a clean bowl and refills his water bowl.

“You can lie her down on the bed,” Natasha points to the bedroom. “I’ll be in, in a second to help with that lip.” Right. You forgot about that.

You amble down the hallway in search of the bedroom. You know she’s giving you a chance to calm down. She’s not crowding you or coddling you. You’re really thankful for that. Her bedroom is nice. It smells clean. If a bit stuffy. Maybe she hasn’t slept here in a while.

You lie Kaia down on the bed. She takes a sharp inhale of breath before turning onto her side. You brush her curls from her face, making sure she’s doesn’t wake up. You sit on the bed next to her, fingers in your lap, as you wait for Natasha. Her footsteps are light but they’re there. She shuffles around the room and goes into the ensuite to grab cleaning supplies.

“Come here,” She beckons you into the bathroom. She watches you climb onto the counter with a wince. Your back is a bit sore. She doesn’t say anything that you expect her to. “Can I touch you?” She asks. You nod. You hate the way you flinch even though she slowly raises her hands. She inspects your face and your lips before grabbing a wash cloth. She wets it with cold water before pressing it against your lip. You whimper in pain as your hand flies up to hold onto her wrist. “It’s okay, dorogaya.” She says softly. She makes quick work of cleaning the cut before she drops her hands.

“Why do you call me that?” You tilt your head. She looks into your eyes with such compassion and such care. You haven’t seen this in a long time.

“It’s a nickname,” Natasha shrugs.

“It means dear, darling, honey. Something of that nature right?” You noted and she raises a brow. “Why do you call me that specifically.”

“If it makes you uncomfortable I won’t say it,” Natasha backs away but you reach out to grab her wrist. She’s a bit surprised you can tell. You gently tug her to you. You don’t know why you do it but you place her hands on your waist. Her eyes flicker down before back up to you.

“I like it,” You admit. “It makes me feel safe.” It makes you feel loved but you’re not so sure you should be saying it. You look down to Natasha’s lips and then back to her. You lean in to press your lips to hers. It’s like your entire world falls apart and then is built back together. For a brief moment she kisses you back. You ignore the pain you feel as you think about how good it feels. How safe it feels. This is what you’ve been missing for so long. Natasha seems to find her senses first as you move to deepen the kiss.

“I can’t let you do that,” She mutters. “I can’t let you pay me with sex. You don’t have to repay me at all.” You deflate attempting to look away in embarrassment. You hadn’t realized that’s what you were doing. She presses a manicured finger under your chin to get you to look at her. “I want to kiss you. I do. Dorogaya, you’re in a vulnerable state. I don’t want that to be the reason you do something you may regret.” Before you can protest she shakes her head. “Give yourself time.” You nod. “I’ll always be here.” She promises. You believe her.

She steps back too look at the rest of your body. “Is there anywhere that you feel a lot of pain?”

“Just my heart,” You shake your head. “I can’t believe I let it go on for so long.”

“You're here now,” Natasha tucks away the cleaning supplies and returns her gaze to you. “I have pajamas for you if you need. I can watch Kaia while you shower.”

“Okay,” You look over to the shower in question. You wait for her to leave. You avoid looking into the mirror as you strip. You turn on the water, waiting for it to get hot, before stepping directly under it. When the water finally hits your back you let out a sob. You’ve been holding it in for so long. You’re safe. You don’t have to go back. Never again.

When you get out of the shower, you find Natasha sitting at the edge of the bed watching Kaia. Just like she said. You tuck your dirty clothes in her nearby hamper before climbing onto the bed to sit beside the little girl. You trace your fingers on her face. She twitches but never wakes up.

“You were right,” You don’t dare to look at her. You know she’s listening. “He hit her.” Natasha doesn’t hide her gasp. “He said she needed to learn after she tried touching an outlet. I just… I couldn’t believe it. Then I could. I felt horrible. I felt like a bad mother.”

“You’re not a bad mother,” Natasha quickly shuts that down. “You got yourself out. You left when you knew you needed to.”

“Why doesn’t it feel that way?” You furrow your brows. “ He asked me to marry him. He wants to expand our family. Everything I’ve ever wanted and I just. It came in this way.I couldn’t stop thinking about how I can’t raise another baby with him. I can’t be stuck with that forever.” You lower your hands to pick at the fabric of her blanket. You won’t say it. You can’t say it. Then that would make it real.

There’s a pause as Natasha analyzes your words.

“Y/n?” She questions. You raise your eyes. “How far along are you?” Her question almost knocks the wind out of you. If you weren’t already sitting it would have made you pass out.

“6 weeks,” You concede. “He doesn’t know.” You force yourself to look back down at the covers. You don’t want to see the pity in her face.

“You’re not going back to him?” She questions. “You can stay for as long as you need. I-I’m not forcing you to stay y/n. He won’t find you. Just stay.”

“I don’t want to go back,” You say. “I don’t want to.” She reaches across the bed to hold on to your hand.

For the past few years, you’ve felt alone. Now you have her.

----> next part

[pilot-boi]

god now i’m just imagining Blake suddenly realizing and saying “you knew you had to drink the poison”

And Jaune just isn’t able to meet anyone’s eyes

The five sit around a campfire scrounged together from dead brush in an alcove protected from the desert wind. Their conversation is slow, comforting, filled with hushed reassurances and rueful laughter.

With the benefit of distance, of being free, talk eventually turns to Jaune’s missing years. Simple curiousity, simple questions.

He doesn’t answer everything, but every word he says seems to draw some invisible hurt from a wound left festering for too long.

It’s Blake that brings it up.

Of course she is. She was the one to realize they were in a fairytale, the one who reminded them all how to play along with the fantasy while keeping their sanity. Their resident bookworm.

Of course she’s the one who realizes that their friend knew going in that he was probably going to die before the end of “the story.”

“Jaune?” Blake’s voice is quiet, but calm as a pool of water. “You knew, didn’t you?” Weiss can see how her amber eyes narrow, the agitated flick of her ears, but none of her distress is betrayed in her voice.

Which is just as well, because Jaune doesn’t meet any of their eyes, he just watches the fire. The white locks in his hair are stark against the rest, and not for the first time Weiss wonders if they’re a result of age or stress or something worse.

“Not right away,” he replies. And is that better or worse? That it took a little while for him to realize that he’d die before the story’s end, and he still kept to the script? “Before we reached the Red King.”

“Were you… Did you…” Weiss isn’t sure what she wants to ask, or if she even wants an answer. Were you scared? Did you know when it would happen? Were you ready? Did you want it to happen?

“I had to follow the story,” he says eventually, his voice breaking with emotion. Aged beyond his years, and yet still as young as any of them. “I had… It was my role. I couldn’t- I had to-”

“The Rusted Knight drank the poison in her stead,” Ruby says hollowly. “Would you have done it for me?” Jaune’s head shoots up, fast as a bullet, his face a mask as hard as the metal of his helmet.

Blue eyes aged beyond the years of the face they rest in meet silver eyes haunted by death and rebirth. The tension in the air is taut as a bow string, as the two leaders seem to communicate something only they understand.

A chunk of ice the size of her fallen home drops into Weiss’s stomach. The poison. The tea.

If Jaune had been there in time, would he have even hesitated to drink the tea for Ruby? Finally fulfilling his fairytale role? Finally doing something “right?”

Weiss is quite sure that would’ve only ended with BOTH leaders on the verge of ascension, instead of one. Because if Ruby had lost another friend, Weiss is certain that it would’ve pushed her over an edge she would never have returned from.

The desert wind fills the silence.

Jaune’s gaze falls back to the fire. “After the Herbalist, I was desperate to get the story back on track. I would’ve done anything to fix what I broke.”

“Even die?” Yang’s voice is steady as stone, but her hand is shaking in Blake’s grasp.

There are tears dripping down his face. He never processed this, Weiss realizes. He never processed anything, stuck as he was as the only thing changing in a world where everything stayed the same.

“I just wanted to do something right.” His voice sounds like he dropped it on the floor, it shattered, and he kept using it anyway. Cracky in that way it used to in Beacon. Too old and too young.

“I was the Rusted Knight, a paragon of virtue and glory, but I was messing it all up.” As he speaks, his voice gets more frantic, more hitched with tears. “We were at the end, there was no more story left. There was only one thing I could do to make sure they got their happy ending. And- And I-”

“I’m glad you didn’t have to,” Ruby interrupts, her voice choking with tears. I hate that it happened, that she poisoned you, but I’m glad you didn’t have to.” And again, it’s his fellow leader’s voice that draws Jaune out of himself.

But this time he looks like Jaune, all wide eyes and soft edges, not the metal of the Rusted Knight he was protecting himself with before. And Ruby looks like Ruby, older and wiser but with a spark of hope in her teary eyes that Weiss didn’t realize has been missing until they all almost lost it forever.

Ruby stands and walks around the fire, her boots making furrows in the sand, and pulls him into a hug. Jaune blinks, half afraid, half confused.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

Weiss barely hears Ruby murmur this over the crackle of the flames, and whether she’s talking about Penny or Alyx or Pyrrha or Atlas or any number of things that both leaders have blamed themselves for over the years, Weiss doesn’t know.

But what she does know is that when Jaune chokes out a sob and buries his face in Ruby’s hair, and Ruby drops to her knees clings to her best friend like he’s the only thing anchoring her to Remnant, something slots back into place in the universe. Something that fractured almost beyond repair on the shore of a razed village of paper stars.

Jaune’s hair is streaked with white, Ruby’s whole body is shaking with sobs, and Jaune is whispering apologies that Ruby is meeting with her own. But they’re both still here. It feels like healing, or the very start of it.

And maybe Jaune would have drunk the poison for Alyx, but he didn’t get to. And maybe Jaune would have drink the tea for Ruby, but he didn’t get to. The world was full of what-ifs, gods the Ever After probably used as them as damn building blocks.

But what matters is that he didn’t, and that he would never have to.

[aurossaga]

Doubts cloud my Judgement

Venti x gn!reader

Genre: hurt/comfort

Word count: ~ 1.5k

Warnings: Alcohol mention

Summary: Learning to be vulnerable is no small task, even if it's for the ones you love.

The winds whip to and fro in the night, the steady rustle of the leaves quietly dulling the city’s noise. It was almost as if the air itself was feeling agitated, restless, almost anxious, and knew no other way to handle it but to tug and pull at the branches of trees, to wear at the city walls.

You were surprised when you stepped out onto the tavern’s balcony yourself. The winds in the city were always gentle in the past... Though, that thought did not occupy your mind for very long. You only adjusted your clothing in place, bracing yourself against the moderate winds as you looked around yourself… You were sure you’d seen the life of the party back downstairs disappear though this door earlier, and his absence was feeding a growing unease within you. Of course, it wasn’t very surprising that he’d managed to slip through your grasp yet again, he seemed to have a talent for that.

You have known Venti for quite some time now. A chance meeting in the plaza quickly grew into a well-maintained friendship, and you had fallen for him hard somewhere along those months you’d spent drifting in and out of each other’s lives. You know so much about him, all the way from his preferences in drinks to mindless thoughts on meaningless matters that reveal themselves in casual conversations… And the more you learnt about him, the more sure you were that you didn’t know the bard at all.

Venti doesn’t strike anyone as the type of guy to keep anyone at a distance like that, and at first, you were willing to believe so too. But the better you got to know him, the more he withdrew. The better you got at finishing his sentences, the less he started them at all. He’d smile, nod, encourage you to talk instead, keeping his cards close to this chest and his heart tucked away for reasons you couldn’t comprehend. That ends tonight, you decided. Weeks of this unexplained distance was starting to bother you.

Your eyes traced the steady-looking vines climbing the walls of the tavern’s exterior. Your brows furrowed as the insanity of the idea crossed your mind. You didn’t exactly have any other means of ascending the building, and if you knew that bard even half as well as you think you do, he’s sure to be up there on the roof. Still, you could fall. And it would hurt.

…

Yeah, like that was actually going to stop you.

You braced yourself as you grabbed onto the vines with your hands, and slowly hosted yourself up just a few feet from the ground to test the waters. When you found that the vines held your weight remarkably well, you started pulling yourself up, grabbing hold and steadily climbing the building. With a huff you were able to pull yourself up onto the roof, the familiar sight of terracotta tiles filling your view… And sat in the middle of the slanted roof was Venti, with his back turned to you, uncharacteristically absentminded. The sound of your steps didn’t register until you’re right by his side, at which point he jumped slightly, the reaction so small you could see how anyone else might have missed it.

“O-oh, Hello, friend! In need of some fresh air too, I presume?”

There was something about his tone that felt so…unsure. Like even he wasn’t buying his own guise anymore. And yet, he tried foolishly to keep it up, knowing very well it wasn’t getting by either of you. Curious.

“...Yeah. Do you mind if I sit for a bit?”

You decided to entertain it for a moment in an attempt at disarming the suddenly tense atmosphere. Venti’s shoulders sank in resignation as he realized this night could end one of two ways… And he wasn’t quite sure which outcome he feared more. Letting you in or shutting you out for good.

“Not at all.”

You sat down next to him, giving him a bit of space just for comfort’s sake. Venti noted your distance with a curious hum, his gaze finally rising from the red roof tiles to look in your direction. He held your gaze for only a moment before he averted his eyes again, clearing his throat nervously. The winds tug at your clothes as gusts crash against you.

“...Venti-”

“I don’t-”

You both spoke at the same time, cutting each other off. In any other situation you would have had a laugh at that… But tonight, not as much as an amused snicker, even.

“How did things get so weird between us, Venti?”

Your unsteady voice was quiet, almost drowned out by the gales. You looked down at your trembling hands, unsure if it was the nerves or the cold that had gotten to you. You didn’t get much time to ponder it before the bard next to you let out a huff, scooted closer and placed his hand over your trembling ones.

“Everything’s fine, my friend. Everything’s alright.”

His tone wasn’t one bit convincing as he flashed you a smile you didn’t believe for a second.

“Please. Just… give me an actual answer.”

His grip on your hand tightened ever so slightly as he tensed up. You could feel the way his breath hitched on the winds, the way they shifted directions for a moment. His lips pressed into a thin line as he considered his next words very carefully, trying and failing several times over to find a way out of this confrontation. But, there was none.

“You know me so well it scares me.”

You weren’t expecting that. A part of you had worried he had figured out your feelings, and was looking for a way out of the friendship. Another was growing concerned he simply got bored of you. You… Did not expect to learn just how frightened he was by your shared bond.

“...Wait, what do you-”

His grip on your hand fastened ever so slightly, and caused you to hesitate. Your eyes drifted up to his figure, hunched over himself as he looked anywhere but right at you. A brief flash of panic crossed his pensive expression as you untangled your hand from his, but was quickly pacified as you reached up and brushed a strand of his hair out of his eyes. Finally, he looked at you properly.

“Venti, my dear… Can I ask you a question?”

You pleaded with a disarming smile.

“Y-yeah, of course.”

Venti stammered, his usual effortless confidence completely discarded. It was as if he realized trying to salvage that image was like fighting a losing battle.

“... What is it you’re scared of showing me?”

He went silent after that, his eyes narrowed as his nose scrunched up into a thoughtful expression. He had been mulling over that question many times the past few weeks, but he never found a satisfactory answer. He had spent many nights awake trying to determine what it was about you that he had suddenly grown so fearful of, enough to outweigh the joy he felt in your company. And only now as he stared into your endlessly patient eyes did he realize what it was. Venti didn’t give you a verbal answer, no… He did something you weren’t quite expecting. He pinched his eyes shut with a sigh, and dropped his head onto your shoulder.

You had never seen him be this vulnerable before. His boisterous persona and endless charm often gave people a very different idea of who he was, and you had long ago figured out the man beneath the surface was much softer, much more delicate than he’d ever intended to show you. Still, this was a shot in the dark for him. You could tell how tense he was, his shoulders rigid, his expression strained, his hands fidgeting with the frilly hems of his sleeves… He was so painfully uncomfortable with this expression of vulnerability, and yet he was trying.

You didn’t waste another second before you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him into a firm, loving hug. You heard him gasp slightly as his eyes blew wide, but he didn’t fight it. You huffed in relief, your hands slowly rubbing comforting patterns into the tense muscles on his back. The familiar scent of fresh breeze and cecilias that always seem to cling to him filled your nostrils as you embraced him tightly. It took him a few seconds to even register what was happening, almost in disbelief at the course of this wordless conversation.

Slowly, with an uncertainty that was utterly unfamiliar to him, Venti embraced you back. His grip was weak at first, but then he suddenly squeezed you close as if you’d disappear if he let go. His shallow breaths trembled as he fought to keep his composure.

“You deserve to be cared about, Venti. Please… let me. Don’t push me away.”

Your own voice quivered as emotions started running high. You weren’t exactly sure what it was that had you at the brink of tears, but holding back the sobs only got harder and harder… Until you heard Venti sigh. And you felt tears on your shoulder. So you gave in trying to hold back too.

The winds around you calmed as the dawn broke on the horizon, the two of you desperately clinging onto each other all the while. Things would be different from now on, but Venti’s heart already felt light with relief after that night.

Hey everyone! It's been a minute since my last post... oops!

My point is though I love this guy to death and don't plan to stop writing for him altogether, I'm taking a bit of a Genshin break! I've been running out of inspiration for Venti fics and mostly just rotate him around in my head for hours on end haha

So! You can expect some stuff from other fandoms going forward. I'll make a pinned post about that once I've gotten everything sorted. There will be more Venti fics again in the future though, so don't be discouraged!

Thank you for reading as always! :3

[08melancholie]

Heyy i know u don't usually write about Kieran but i literally cannot stop thinking abt him rip..... if u want to i'd be absolutely overjoyed to see ur take on some sweet stuff with him, like how he'd react to the reader taking him out for a date night and essentially spoiling the shit out of him. I'm talking fancy restaurant, nice bath, warm bed, a massage and lots of praise (maybe even a .. "special reward" if u wanna write that 🤭) . Might even be fun to see how you'd write other characters in this scenario! Especially Arthur and maybe even Micah :3

thank you so much!

-🥐

omgomg yes. i literally love kieran like a little brother ive never had. he is all too precious to me and i miss him dearly </3

I absolutely can do Kieran and Micah.... got a long night ahead of me so I have the time🫦 (doing gn!reader btw)

wasn't gonna include "special reward" related hcs at first butttt.... i couldn't help myself. ill put a little marking for when the nsfw part comes up. was gonna do arthur but id totally write him ooc, sorry :(

Kieran

SFW

Definitely assumes you're trying to tease him at first, telling him the entire plan of pampering the life out of him just to laugh in his face. Wouldn't be the first time someone's teased him this way, so he'd be quite wary about who he trusts and whatnot in camp.

Realises you're being serious after you get agitated with him and tell him you're serious for the millionth time, then gets mildly nervous about going out alone with you. He's very appreciative of the thought, and will thank you more times than generally necessary.

"What? You.. you serious? Oh, naw.. I couldn't possibly—well, it's rude to turn it down..."

First stop; General store. You get him much better quality boots and he thanks you profusely. He feels bad about asking, but simply can't leave without buying Branwen a little treat; an apple or rice cake, nothing too much. Splits it in half when you exit the store and let's you feed your half to his horse, who is definitely a fan of the chin scratches you offer afterwards.

Followed up by a few quick drinks, some hope that a little alcohol in your bodies will help you both loosen up a bit, more-so Kieran who is still skittish.

Beers to start with a shot whiskey both.

Kieran scrunches his face slightly and you call him a wimp. This has him pouting at you; Which is adorable.

He's somewhere between a lightweight and a 'normal' drinker, but four beers seems to already make him a bit giddy and much more relaxed, much to your liking

Next, you're dragging him across the street to get yourselves both a room in the hotel and a bath. Instant flashback to John calling him a stinky O'Driscoll. </3

Minimal protest from Kieran, but he lets you do your thing.

You buy the bath for yourselves first and the room for later. You pay and lead Kieran to the reserved room. Locking the door after him and yourself, you lean on the door and wait for him to get in.

"What—in.. in front of you? You... can't exit for a minute.?"

You can't tell if he's getting red in the face from the alcohol consumption or current situation he's in. Either way, you think it's cute.

NSFW

He doesn't know if it's smarter to quickly strip and jump into the water, or to go slowly; you're staring at him either way.

He opts for a medium pace, very carefully handling his new boots and peeling his shirt off first. He's a bit scrawny and more pinkish than tan, light strawberry skin. He has minimal scarring on his body, nothing too serious.

His pants follow and he starts to nervously fumble with the restrains by now, feeling you still looking at him and eyeing every action he takes. He lets his trousers drop and follows with his drawls. You've probably never seen someone drop their underwear so quickly. He instantly jumps into the bath to keep himself at least partially decent—even after you've seen everything already.

He really enjoys higher temperature water since you can't much afford warm baths like these, so he's being very thankful as he basks in the soapy, hot water in front of you.

You lean off the door and walk to the bath. You fold and put his clothes away before rolling your sleeves up and sitting on the edge of the the tub behind him; like the bath girls do it. You've seen it enough times to know what to do.

You purposefully dip your hands very close to his thighs, sides and arms, throughly enjoying each and every time he squirms or grumbles a little whiny noise from inside his chest.

You rub his entire body, no crevice left untouched by your hands. It might be the hot water he's been soaking inside of, but you can feel just how much warmer his skin is with every touch of your hands caressing his whole frame.

You work your way from his shoulders down his torso, ask him to lift his legs and do those—all up to his stomach where you instead stand up, walk a few steps and lean over the tub.

You make sure to brush just barely out of reach when going over his stomach. He can't help throatily whining again, his head leaning back in frustration. This goes on for a few more minutes until you've physically touched every part of him—all but one very active part.

You got him a mess in the bathtub; sweating, whining, giving you pleading eyes. It's a goddamn sight that has you wanting to sling him over your shoulder and carry to your reserved room instantly.

"You can't just do all'a that... Don't be mean.."

You let him soak in his uncomfortableness for a good few minutes, watching him switch between pleased from the nice bath water to squirmy from lack of caring for his little problem.

"Please, don't leave me like this..."

God, those eyes could get you to do anything. You've never stumbled into a hotel room so quickly, having instantly gotten him decent and practically dragged him out of the baths.

Focused on him the rest of the night, doing anything he (silently) asked for and just putting your own, aching need aside for the time being

Micah bonus <3

SFW

Instantly declined at first, grumbling something about not needing your charity. Instantly agreed when you mentioned drinks at the saloon.

"Guess it wouldn't hurt, would it?"

You get him into town and start off in the gun store, obviously. You let him pick out three upgrades to his revolvers since you know he won't buy any new ones, he only ever really uses his own guns.

He's very satisfied, turning his guns in his hands and inspecting them with the new additions you got him.

You lead him towards the saloon next, for the promised drinks.

He drinks your wallet out with ease, shot after shot and he isn't even near drunk yet, comfortably tipsy at most.

You settle for two beers for yourself, and he teased you about the situation again.

"I'm on my fifth whiskey and you're still only drinking beers? Hah!"

You slap his shoulder and continue to drink, wanting to get to the best part rather quickly.

He downs his last whiskey and his empty glass settles next to your empty bottles, both of you leaving.

"What, a bath? That what you think I'll like?"

He's skeptical but agrees, might be nice to enjoy himself a bit more. And he probably stinks.

You get him inside and watch the smirk on his face when you buy a bath—and a room for later.

"Getting bold on me, are 'ya?"

You lock the two of you inside the bathroom and gesture for him to strip. You're still looking, and it just makes him laugh while slipping his coat off and placing his hat on a nearby table.

He doesn't mind you watching, it just grows the sly smile on his face furthermore.

He gets his naked body into the water and lets out a little "oooh" noise, his white eyelashes fluttering with his eyes as he takes in the bordering perfect temperature, relaxing into the tub behind him.

You watch him get in, blissful look on his usually grumpy face. He watches you with a smirk, asking if you'll be joining—joking about it, obviously.

NSFW

You leave him to enjoy the water for.. maybe three minutes, before you can't help yourself anymore.

His eyes go from lidded and content to wide and surprised, lips parted as he watched your undershirt get unbuttoned, revealing skin little by little.

He's very quick to compose himself, comfortably watching you strip yourself fully bare.

You manage to surprise him a second time by dipping yourself down on his abdomen, and the grin on his face just widens, his chuckle echoing through the bathroom.

"You're reeeally going all out on me tonight, huh?"

His hands quickly find your sides and, assuming consent, he starts touching up your entire form; waist, hips, thighs. He rubs his fingers up to the underside of your chest, your lower and upper back.

"'Ya know, you've taken real good care of me tonight, and I'm feelin' generous; let's return the favour, yeah?"

And that he without a doubt did; officially having no use for the room you bought anymore.

The tables get turned on you and he's quick to initiate some good ole bathtub intimacy.

That's the story of how you got banned from the hotel in Valentine because of a noise complaint. Multiple noise complaints. And a high water bill.

i love cowboys <3

[miyasi]

Hi! Could I request yandere venti, aether, xiao and diluc's reaction with a reader who is on hunger strike? :> (like, she is being hostage and whatever and she refuses to eat unless they get freed?)

Also, welcome to our comunity! Glad to be ur first request :D

hello! thank you for being my first req!

Warnings: Yandere, stalking, murder(slightly, not described), hunger strikes (it’s not that serious except for Diluc), locking up, lmk if I missed any!

Xiao

(p.s I got super out of prompt 😭)

Xiao is a stalker yandere. A lot of people said they don’t even see Xiao at all, even though you see him quite frequently. You barely know him, most of the time you pass by each other and give some simple greetings. But he would time his work right and arrive just at your window when you come home, he watches your step by step, he knows exactly what you do to your itty bitty habits like always making extra food and finishing it the next day, randomly cutting your hair or not drinking clearly enough water. You drop your bags down tiredly, he peered through your window and see you just doing things like everyday, cutting the meat and vegetables but you look way more agitated today?? Anyways, you cook your meal like always, plate it messily and left it on the table..? You didn’t even touch the spoon, mixing around or play with your food. You just left it there, right at where he can see it clearly. Xiao was very confused, did he get caught? But why would that stop you from eating? He snapped back by you glaring straight at him, then acting like nothing happened and just walking back in to your room. You didn’t notice him right?

Aether

He’s the oblivious type but wouldn’t accept it. Aether sees you all the time, somehow knows all your hobbies and would bring it up in a random way.

“Would you like a candy?” You brought out a bag of candies that you bought yesterday.

“I thought you didn’t like this flavor?”

“…How did you know?” The flavor you liked had ran out in the store yesterday, you settled for another flavor but didn’t really like it.

“…”

“Aether?”

“Yeah I’ll have one.”

He knows your favorite food. Aether knows when you crave for a certain dish, so he’s confused when you instead just order a drink and leave. You even just leisurely sipping on your drink, instead of finishing it immediately and getting to work. He walks behind you and catches up, striking a conversation but you replied with casual one word replies, he offered you some snacks you liked but you didn’t accept, you would have already eaten all of the food he brought by now but you aren’t even looking at the food. Days went by and the exact same thing happened, to the point that you lost so much weight and seemed so tired. Aether had to find another option to get you to eat again. Locking you up, force feeding, making you eat while you are unconscious

Venti

He’s super obvious, he even says it from time to time. If you call a mountain annoying he would probably cut it off for you and still be ( ^ω^ ) while saying “you said it was annoying!” He’s super clingy, every time he sees you which is planned he will cling on to you until you literally have to tell him to get off. Venti doesn’t know a lot about your habits since you do keep it a secret quite well, but he does know what you dislike very well, the moment you say you hate something it’s gone. As he’s clinging on to you again, you seemed very annoyed,

“Is something wrong?”

“Fucking hell Venti, stop it! You can’t just destroy everything just because I don’t like it!”

“Why not? If you don’t like it, then it simply doesn’t deserve to be there! Anyways, let’s go eat something!” Venti looks at the restaurant you always go for when you need comfort food.

“I’m not eating anything until you stop.” You said with a sigh.

“What?” He stops smiling immediately

“You heard me.”

He starts making a fuss, yelling and screaming about if you don’t eat he’s gonna make you eat, clinging on to you even harder to the point that your arm starts to feel numb. Each day goes by that you don’t eat, Mondstadt is suffering with wind and crops dying, Venti clings on you even harder and gets desperate for you to eat, he promises that he’ll do anything for you.

Diluc

Now he’s the Yandere people think of, locking up his lover and killing people just to please them. He keeps it really well hidden though, everyone just assumes that you two are just a couple that fights a lot like any other couple. He gets you the finest of the finest products you want, but you have to always be where he can see and never run off. He definitely has killed people before because they looked at you wrongly. You slumped down to your seat and lay your head on the counter, to which Diluc didn’t steal a look since you were always tired. He put a plate of the meal you asked for yesterday, but you didn’t want it. He got confused, then frustrated, then mad.

“What’s with you today?”

“What’s wrong with you?” You rebutted to which he seemed even more mad.

“I give you the best of the best and you act like this?!”

“I don’t want you to give me these fancy shenanigans. And definitely not to kill someone.”

“So this is what you’re fussing about?”

“Obviously??”

“Then fine! Don’t eat all you want and see how long you can take it!”

Diluc didn’t expect you to actually not eat for that long, it’s been a week and your health is severely disclining. He now has to lock you up, force you to eat himself, how annoying of you.

I’m sorry it took so long!

Thanks for being my first req! It’s my first time writing and English is definitely not my first language 😓

[marie-swriting]

Romantic Feelings, For Me ? - Robin Buckley

Stranger Things Masterlist

Superache Masterlist

Summary : You have a crush on Robin and so does she but neither of you feels ready to make the first move, too scared to lose the other. Thankfully for the both of you, your best friends, Steve and Chrissy, want to help you out.

Warnings : mutual pining, happy ending, mention of alcohol (be careful with your alcohol consumption), maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my First language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 2.4k

French version

Song inspiration : Disaster by Conan Gray

“This could be a disaster, Steve ! A huge disaster ! Why did you have to invite her ? I had everything planned and you’ve ruined everything by inviting her to your damn party.” Robin exclaims while giving plastic cups to Steve.

“On the contrary, I’m giving you a little help here. You’ll be able to confess your feelings.” he replies, setting the cups on the table in front of him.

“At a party full of the populars from your year and mine ? Surrounded by drunk people ? I don’t think so ! There are so many factors that make me believe it is a lost cause. Do you need me to remind you of all the scenarios ?”

“No, you haven’t stopped telling me all about it since I told you I had invited Y/N tonight. I got it.” Steve refuses before going to the kitchen to get the alcohol. 

“It doesn’t look like it.” she keeps saying whilst following him, all agitated, “Besides, I’m still not sure if she’s attracted to me.”

“Do I need to remind you last week you asked me if it was totally platonic for her to call you, like, every night ? I’m saying it again, it is not platonic.”

“Maybe she does this with Chrissy too ? What do we know ? It’s her best friend, it’d be rational.”

“Sometimes you stay on the phone 'till midnight, trust me, she doesn’t have the time to do the same with Chrissy.”

“Ok, let’s say you’re right and that, by some sort of miracles, she is attracted to me,” Robin starts, making Steve sigh, “what if she ends up freaking out along the way and then we lose everything we’ve been building the past seven months ? And what if the moment I say ‘I love you’, she doesn’t say it back and that ruins everything as well ? Did you think about that ?”

“You should tell her you like her before thinking about the moment you’ll tell her ‘I love you’.”

“I prefer to think about every scenario before jumping in with both feet.”

“The problem is, by overthinking, you’re gonna destroy the relationship yourself.” Steve retort, looking his best friend in the eyes. “You should still test the water tonight and if she’s receptive then good for you, if she isn’t, just say you’ve been drinking too much and you didn’t express yourself correctly. It’ll go smoothly like this, trust me.”

“Trust you ? You, Steve Harrington, who go from one date to the other without it going any further ? I don’t think-”

“Trust me on that one.” he cuts her off, exasperated. “I’m telling you, the feelings you have for Y/N are reciprocated. Stop stressing about it.”

Steve gives Robin a reassuring look. She finally lets go of a sigh, like to signal she accepts her fate. Robin isn’t fully convinced by Steve’s words but they still help her to reduce her stress. A bit. Robin finishes helping Steve to prepare the party, letting her anxiety about you in the back of her mind.

When the party starts, Robin enjoys herself with the other guests. Tired to dance after five songs, she goes into a corner of the living-room, a drink in hand. She tries to catch her breath when John from her Algebra class comes to her and starts talking with her. Not knowing what he wants, Robin answers him. As the conversation goes by, she becomes more and more uncomfortable as she sees John slowly getting closer to her. She’s searching for an excuse to leave the room when she hears your voice calling her name.

“I’ve been looking for you !” you say, putting your hand on Robin’s forearm. “I need your help, can you come with me ? Sorry John, but it’s a girl emergency.” you specify with an emphatic look.

“Oh, yeah, no problem.” he stutters, blushing, “I need to go to… I mean, Bye, Robin.”

“You looked like you needed some help.” you slowly chuckle when you’re away from John.

“Thank God, Y/N. I didn’t know how to get out of this situation. I like you !” Robin says without thinking and making you smile.

“You like me ?”

Hearing your question, Robin’s eyes go wide as she panics. She pretends to cough and search for a solution to resolve the situation.

“Yeah, like a friend, I mean, you know. Sorry I think I’ve been drinking too much. Did you just arrive ? Want to drink something ?” she changes the subject, avoiding your gaze.

“Yes, thanks.” you accept and Robin starts walking in front of you, but you hold her back. “Robin, I like you, too.”

Upon hearing your sentence, Robin stays put in place for a second, not knowing how to act. You end up taking her hand and guiding her to the table with the drinks to pour you a glass while Robin gets a grip on herself.

During the whole party, you stay together, enjoying each other’s company. At some point, you’re really close and yet none of you know if you should understand something out of this situation. From afar, Steve and Chrissy look at you both, completely desperate. They see none of you dares to make the first move whilst you’re both waiting for that. If there weren't that many people, they would’ve forced you to get closer to make an end to your lack of action once and for all. That night, they promised to themselves to do something to help you both, you deserve your cute little romance.

Determined to help Robin, Steve decides to take advantage of a day where he has to get Dustin from school to talk with your best friend. He waits, leaning against his car, until he sees Chrissy walking to her vehicle. He takes a deep breath and trots towards her.

“Chrissy, hi !”

“Oh, hey.” Chrissy answers, stopping in her tracks. “You’re here for Dustin ?”

“Yeah. Actually, I also wanted to talk to you about something. I wanted to know if Y/N had a crush on anybody at the moment ?”

“Why do you want to know that ?” she questions with a questioning look.

“Because I…,” Steve stutters, looking for an excuse, “Actually, I wanted to ask her out and I wanted to make sure I wouldn’t make a fool of myself.”

“Oh.” Chrissy exclaims, taken aback, “Well, you did the good thing by asking me because Y/N has a crush on someone else so it’s not going  to work.”

“Don’t worry about it, at least I tried. Do I know the guy ?”

Chrissy notices Steve tries to play it cool but sees behind his question there's something else. She quickly guesses, just like her, Steve has had enough of seeing you and Robin beat around the bush without doing anything.

“Yeah, you know them very well but I won’t give you their name or I’d be a terrible best friend.”

“I get it. Do you know if she’s gonna try to make the first move with them ?”

“Not sure. She’s afraid it’s unrequited even if I’m sure it isn’t. Since your party I've been trying to give her enough courage to have her confess her feelings.” she admits and Steve nods.

“I get your frustration. Robin is also attracted to someone and she’d rather imagine all the worst case scenarios instead of asking them on a date. If the person she’s attracted to doesn’t make the first move, I think she’s going to wait for a long time or miss her chance.” he informs with an insistent look.

“I hope it won’t be the case. I need to go.” she states before leaving without letting him respond.

Steve waves at Chrissy whilst she fastly gets in her car. Chrissy doesn’t waste a second and drives to your home with a big smile on her face. As for you, you’re at your desk, focused on your History homework when someone opens your bedroom’s door loudly. A hand on your chest, you turn around and see Chrissy.

“You want me to have a heart attack or what ?”

“Steve asked me if you had a crush on him !” Chrissy exclaims as if it was breaking news.

“And it's good news because…?”

“I told him you’re attracted to someone else.”

“Chrissy !” you retort with your eyes wide open.

“I didn’t mention Robin, promise.” your best friend quickly specifies, making you sigh of relief. “I just said you have someone else in mind and you don’t know how to confess your feelings.”

“Still don’t know how this is good news.”

“It is good news because he talked to me about Robin ! He told me she’s also attracted to someone but doesn’t know how to make the first move. He totally implied Robin has a crush on you. You should’ve seen his face. You were waiting for your sign, there it is ! Go to Robin and ask her out on a date now.” Chrissy orders pointing at your bedroom’s door.

“No.” you contradict, panicked, “Your conversation with Steve doesn’t prove anything. Maybe you interpreted it wrong.”

“I swear I didn’t ! Besides, at the party, Robin did say to you ‘I like you’, didn’t she ?”

“Like a friend, yes. Don’t forget that part.”

“Maybe she said it ‘cause she panicked ?” Chrissy suggests and you shake your head.

“She still said it quickly while I had a big smile on my face.”

“It’s unbelievable to nitpick like that !” she mumbles. “Y/N, during the party, I watched you and Robin and she’s totally smitten by you. And even though Steve didn’t say it, I’m sure he saw the same thing as me so get up from your chair and let’s go to Family Video !” Chrissy commands, pulling you by the arm.

With a sigh of exasperation, you follow Chrissy who’s dragging you to her car. The whole ride, you try to make her change her mind however she stands her ground and parks in front of Family Video. You sink a bit more in the passenger seat but Chrissy opens the passenger door from her seat.

“Y/N, I know you’re worried about it but believe me, Robin has feelings for you. I wouldn’t be making you do that if I wasn't sure.” Chrissy affirms with her soft voice.

“But I had planned everything !” you complain, “I had planned to wait a bit more just to be sure she was attracted to me and some weeks after that, I would have asked her out. If I do it now, everything will be ruined ! It’s too early !”

“By waiting too much, you risk ruining it before it begins. You’ve been waiting for seven months, don’t you think it’s long enough ?”

You look at your best friend before sighing in frustration because, deep down, you know she isn’t fully wrong.

“You’re right but what if-”

“Stop with the ‘what if’s and go get your girl !” she cuts you off.

Chrissy shoves you, forcing you out of the car. You close the door and start walking toward the entrance of the store. You run your clammy hands over your jeans when a forty years old woman gets in front of you and opens the door. She holds it for you and you thank her before entering as well. Stressed, you run to hide in one of the aisles, hoping Robin nor Steve have seen you. The woman gives back her tape to Steve before leaving without renting a new movie. When you hear the door close again, you breathe slowly, hoping to get a grip on yourself. You try to give yourself some encouragement to get out of your hiding spot and go talk to Robin when you hear her voice. You can’t make out what she’s saying but you can guess she’s panicked because she’s speaking very fast to Steve. You get closer to them while being silent and you finally can understand what she’s saying.

“Steve, I’m telling you it means nothing.” Robin objects.

“She said she likes you, too, right ? And contrary to you who lost your nerve, she didn’t specify ‘like a friend’.” he retorts.

You get a bit closer and you can finally see Robin who has her back on you whilst Steve is in front of her. Robin runs a hand over her face before responding.

“Maybe for her, her ‘I like you’ was hiding a ‘like a friend’ as well like I had said it just before ? Steve, I’m not 100% sure.”

“With what Chrissy implied, you can’t have any more doubts. Y/N hasn’t said anything yet because of the same reasons as you, she’s nervous about it so go talk to her today or do it on the phone tonight if you’re too scared to do it face to face.”

“You’re right, I’m gonna go to her and suddenly say ‘Actually, I have feelings for you, romantic feelings, wanna go out with me ?’ Yeah, sure, it’ll work.” Robin exclaims sarcastically. 

“You have feelings for me ?” you question, getting out of your hiding spot.

“Please, don’t tell me Y/N is behind me.” Robin whispers.

“Good luck, Robin.” Steve smiles before walking away.

“You have feelings for me ?” you repeat and Robin turns red.

“What ? No, it’s not that. You misunderstood me. I was talking about someone else-”

“You’re a terrible liar.” you interrupt her, laughing slowly, “Robin, I have feelings for you too.”

“You do ?” she asks, shocked.

“Yeah.” you confirm, avoiding her eyes for a second, “I didn’t know how to tell you, I was imagining the worst and therefore I was always finding an excuse to stay silent. It seems like I could have said something for a long time.”

“Wait, you really have feelings, romantic feelings, for me ?” she verifies.

“What wasn’t clear with what I just said ?” you retort, starting to slowly get nervous again.

“It’s just.... I can’t believe it.”

“If I asked you out on a date, would it help you believe it ?” you enquire with a smile.

“What ? Yeah, totally !” Robin accepts with eagerness.

“Great. I’ll give you the details when we call each other tonight ?”

Still confused, Robin simply nods to accept. Happy, you take one step and kiss her left cheek. When you back up, Robin blushes again. You smile at her reaction besides being glad to finally have a date with Robin, after months of being hopeful and hopeless. A few seconds later, you walk away from her and wave at her one last time whilst Robin looks at you lovingly. When you go back to Chrissy in her car, you see her raising her thumb up in the direction of Family Video and you see Steve doing the same when Robin comes to him, with a huge smile on her face.

Stranger Things Masterlist

Superache Masterlist

{This is my side blog so I'll be answering comments under the username @marie-sworld}

[cyberneticlagomorph]

The atmosphere in your home is…

Wrong.

It feels more than wrong when you come home, trailing behind your stolen body like a lost kite caught in an errant breeze. 

See, your home (the Warren) is an extension of you, it didn’t start out that way but after a decade of being soaked in your magic and emotions it is now just as weird and alive as you are. It’s nice having a house that can grow and shuffle rooms around as needed, or a hundred other needlessly whimsical things a normal house can’t do like hot milk drawers or root cellars that are secretly forests. 

You love the Warren and it loves you back with every brick and tile, every floor and ceiling, every washroom and hidden staircase.

It loves you, it loves you and you’ve brought a monster to its door.

The ground shivers, shudders like skin caressed by cold hands as your body steps over the wardline at the edge of your property. This place is a part of you and it Knows that something is so terribly wrong, but it can’t stop the you that is Not You. This place Knows that body, Knows every scar and scrape, every dent in the plating beneath your skin, every wire snaking through your skull just as well as you do.

Oh it Knows you, and it missed you.

You were only gone for a few days, but how it missed you. Pipes flowed with saltwater tears, vents rattled like sobbing throats, walls bruised and blackened with sorrow and mold. Not even the hand of a certain plumber the house has always had a crush on could soothe the hurt for long, could stave off the snotty leaks, or the wallpaper that faded and peeled like old skin. 

The front door slams open, wide and waiting, like the arms of a child begging for a hug. The door trembles on its hinges, so scared but so excited. It can feel Zilch piloting your body, it can sense your aimless ghost following behind it and it knows it should shut itself tight but…

But it missed you, and now you’re home.

Zilch sweeps across the threshold like he owns the place, and you can feel the Warren reel in his wake, disoriented, dizzy, and Sick. As sick as you felt watching that bastard ogle your body like meat.

You want him dead.

And he knows that, glancing back at your ghost he smiles just enough to make you want to strangle him. The farther he goes into your home the more your home freaks out and tries to expel the intruder in ways that won’t hurt you directly. Rooms shuffle, hallways squirm and branch like veins beneath skin, pipes rattle and burst, spilling salt water and mucus. It’s very hard to be intimidating when you don’t have any hands, and all your servants are cute little dishes with kitty paws or bird legs.

Even if that wasn’t the case, you doubt Zilch would give much of a fuck.

He finds Adrian before you do, drinking alone in some lonely darkened corner, looking leagues more pathetic than when you’d originally left him. 

The house freaks out just a little bit more and manages to shuffle two rooms together right as Zilch starts to approach your beloved husbeast, sliding whatever private side room your wife Jeanne had been in into this one. For a second you hope that was intentional on the house’s part, safety in numbers and all that. 

Jeanne’s drinking too, but because it's her day off and not because she’s got unresolved emotional issues like Adrian. 

Last weekish (time is weird and wobbly where you live and you do not respect it as a concept), you and Adrian had a fight. It wasn’t even a fight really, it's not like he put his hands on you at any point, it was just an argument that got out of hand really fast. 

He was off in a corner being his usual brooding gloomy self and you’d just gotten out of a long-winded meeting that could have been an email, you admit that you were agitated at the time and maybe even a little bitey feeling but you were doing your best not to take it out on anybody that didn’t deserve it. 

"Why do you even bother with me?" Adrian had said from his darkened depression corner. 

"You're my husbeast and I love you, why wouldn't I bother?" You’d said, eyebrows furrowed.

"Because I am moody and not fun." And he’d looked at you with those pretty golden eyes of his, so full of sorrow and self hatred like always, and instead of melting like normal you just… simmered like milk waiting to boil over.

"You have depression and probably ptsd, you had to kill your own dad??" You’d wandered over to him, to touch him, to be with him and he’d stiffened at your approach. Adrian was, and is, a complicated little bastard with layers upon layers of traumas and complexes smashing him flat like a poor man’s Atlas, so you did your best to make him feel loved and included no matter what. Taking him out to little lunch dates, or staying in and having a spa night, just anything to make him realize that his presence is always wanted no matter what the awful voices in his head might say. 

You looked at him, a sudden horror dawning that you might be taking this whole thing too far and maybe what he really needed was some alone time. "If you don't want to hang out, you can just say that, I always feel like I'm bothering you anyway."

"You are not. I am the one who is a burden." Came the reply

You’d dragged your hands down your face, horrors be damned,  "You're not a fucking burden, you're my husband who i love and adore and would tear the world apart for!"

It only got worse from there.

You still aren’t sure HOW exactly, but it’s not like that matters anymore. Things were said, words hurled like knives and acid that ate you down to the bone and left you raw, wishing he’d just HIT YOU and be done with it.

Sometimes you lie awake at night at your mom’s house and wonder if he HAD hit you if this would have turned out a lot better.

You can handle being hit, you know how to hit back after all.

Maybe if you had just stayed and knocked some sense into him, none of this would have happened.

Then you remember the way he looked at you, eyes burning like embers, bloody tears running down his face as he loomed over you the way a wolf looms over a rabbit that’s too stupid and too scared to run and he’d said, “You would make a perfect vampire.” Each word hot iron to your hearts, hatred given shape and substance. “Is it any wonder why you get along so well with my father, you both share the same greed and entitlement, you think this word revolves around you and everyone else is just something for you to play with until you’ve used us all up and hungrily move on to the next bright and shiny thing.”

You couldn’t speak, eyes stinging with fresh tears.

And then you ran, you ran all the way to your mother’s like a frightened child and you hid there for days. Wallowing in your shame.

[devinescribe]

Soy Tuya, Je Suis à Vous

[Chishiya Shuntarou × Reader]

Hispanic reader. Because I'm bored and want rep. So fuck whoever is upset about it lol. Also, personal headcanon, Chishiya knows French. Idk why. So... yeah!

Theres a bit of like... domestic fluff at the end? Idk if that's the right word for it.

Translations at the end.

Warnings: Swearing, and i think thats it? Omg

"Yo, 'Shiya, ready for tonight's game?" You shouted, a big smile on your face. He looked up at your smiling face and nodded.

You were quite the boisterous woman, and always had something to say. You had a short fuse, intelligent mind, and a smart mouth. Perfect combo.

You always had a comeback for something.

"Eh. You?" He answered. "I'm gonna be ok. As long as its diamonds. Porque estos juegos me están hodiendo..." you muttered, swinging your legs in the pool water.

"(N/N) - Chan!"

"Kuina!"

You got up quickly, running over to her.

You hugged her and kissed both her cheeks. Hooking your arms together, you walked over to Chishiya.

"Ne, Shuntarou, does this bathing suit look good? People keep staring," you asked, tilting to the side, trying to see if there was a stain.

He did not want to be the one to answer that question.

The men in Japan were most definitely not used to seeing women such as yourself. You had a.. different body from what most girls had in Japan.  And he was not about to tell you, 'No, (Y/N), it's not that the bathing suit looks bad, it's just that you have tits and a nice ass, so if anything you look hot."

"Don't ask him that. What does he know about fashion?" Kuina teased. He let out a small huff, half in agitation half in relief. You giggled, sitting besides him again. You kissed his forehead. And he pulled back quickly. "Never do that again," he stated scrunching his nose, looking away from you. Hopefully you could see how red his ears were.

He wanted you to do it again. He wanted so badly to say that you had missed and kiss you. But really kiss you.

Which he hated. He hated that you made him feel like this. Because now he was worried about you all the time. If you two were in different games and he got back first, he would sit and wait. Same if you got back first. You sat and waited. When you were together, he went out of his way to keep you safe and close.

He never knew he could feel like that. He had never ever felt even a spark of empathy for anyone until you came into the picture. You dragged Kuina into said picture, because of course, your best friend became his friend.

"You and I are together for games tonight," you murmured to the stoic blonde man. He hummed. "And Niragi... oh, but Ann is coming to ugh she's so hot. And Tatta is going as well. Downside, Niragi,"  you said, getting excited about your friends coming with you, a small part dreading it. What if there could only be one winner? "As long as it's not hearts," he said. You nodded. "Any of the other ones for us will still be hell. I mean... some of the people in our group that I don't know must be drinking heavily..." you observed pointing them out. Exactly as you said, they were drunk.

"Kuina, you must be glad you don’t have a game tonight, no?" You asked, turning your attention to her. She smiled. "Of course. But this means you have to come back, both of you. Be safe," she said. The horn sounded, and Chishiya and yourself got up from the side of the pool, walking to the main lobby. Many people ran past you, bumping past you, making you huff.

"Hey Chishiya..."

"Hm?"

"Te amo."

He looked up at you. He knew fully well what that meant. But he said nothing back. You knew he knew what you had said. It didn’t hurt you, you knew how Chishiya was.

Although, his fingers brushed against yours in the hall while Hatter talked. A small way of saying I'm sorry.

He wanted to do it so badly... so he did. Slowly, he grabbed your hand, intertwining his fingers with your own. In the crowded hall, no one would be able to see, he decided.

It took you by surprise. But you made sure not to make a face. You knew someone was always watching. As long as you kept your hands hiden, no one would know.

The second you were all released for the games, however, his hand left yours immediately. You both looked up at Hatter, Aguni, and Niragi. They were all looking down at surprisingly, you two.

Not surprising to Chishiya.

"That is why I say no PDA... fuckers are always watching," he muttered, tilting his head. He waved up at them with his usual Cheshire grin, and started to head out, you following quickly behind him.

You sat in the backseat with Chishiya next to you. "Odió éste sitio... quiero quemar este maldito lugar hasta los cimientos," you muttered,  playing with the drawstring of your gray sweatpants.

He looked down at you. He had been picking up its and bits of of Spanish. He understood little things you said. Or used context clues.

He knew French, he knew Japanese(obviously, its his own language), he knew English, and he knew Korean. He wished he had payed more attention in Spanish class. Of course he passed with flying colors, but he never cared enough to learn it. He wouldn't need it, he had said. No one that I'll interact with in Japan speaks it.

He didn't plan on leaving the country. He just didn't care.

Now he wished he had. He wished he could say everything he wanted to say in a language only you two knew.

You on the other hand were never one for linguistics. You knew Spanish and Japanese since you were little. You had to learn the language of your family, and the language of the country you lived in. Then you learned English in school. Due to speaking Spanish, you were able to understand a little bit of Portuguese, Italian, and French. But not too much. Only a few word here and there.

You two got back from the game unscathed. It was a 2 of Diamonds. Child's Play at this point.

He took you up to your shared room, laying next to you on the bed.

You lay your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, and grabbed his cold hand, intertwining your fingers in his own."Eres tan listo... para un hombre que no sabe lo que digo," you said, a small smile playing on your lips.

"Et tu es une femme très intelligente pour ne pas savoir ce que je dis," he spoke with a smirk.

"Mm... I don't care if I can only understand a little French, talk to me like that all the time," you groaned, sitting up next to him. He smirked, pulling you on top of him.

"Tu es tellement magnifique. Tout à moi... tu es à moi, ma belle chérie."

You smiled, bring your face closer to his own.

"Y tú eres mío... mío solamente, eres perfecto para mí. Mi amor, murirre para ti, o contigo en este puto mundo," you muttered against his skin. You pressed a kiss to his jaw, and he looked at you through lazy eyes. He grabbed your hips, and sat up, leaning against the backboard of the bed. You smiled.

You lived for moments like this with your usually cold boyfriend. He hated affection in public. You wanted to give him all your attention

But in private he could care less.

You ran your hands through his blonde hair, another kiss pressed to his jaw.

"Gods (Y/N)... you drive me crazy you know that right?" He muttered, kissing your colarbone.

You hummed, loving the attention you were getting.

"Shuntarou... Te Amo. Eres mi único." You mumbled, bringing your lips to his.

"Translate that for me darling... don't want to think, " he muttered, kissing you.

How cute it was for him to say that, you thought. You'd tease him later about it.

You pulled away slightly, "I love you. You're my one and only."

"And you are mine. Je t'aime (Y/N)."

There was something you didn't need a translation for.

I made myself melt ❤ hope you enjoyed

Porque estos juegos me están hodiendo... - because these games are fucking me(Spanish slang translated to my native dialect btw, these words mean different things depending on the country/region)

Te amo - I love you

Odió éste sitio... quiero quemar este maldito lugar hasta los cimientos - I hate this place... I wanna burn this fucking place to the ground. (OR till its is nothing but ashes)

Eres tan listo... para un hombre que no sabe lo que digo - You're so clever... for a man who doesnt know what im saying. (Listo is like the more... insulting? way of saying clever. It just means that you know more, and are aware and cocky about it. I think it fits him perfectly.)

Et tu es une femme très intelligente pour ne pas savoir ce que je dis - And you are so clever for a woman who doesnt know what I'm saying. (Again, I translated from Spanish to French, so i used lista. Cocky arrogance of knowing more than the other)

Tu es tellement magnifique. Tout à moi... tu es à moi, ma belle chérie - You are so fucking gorgeous. All mine... you are mine, my beautiful darling. (I took these from google translate. If its wrong argue with that.)

Y tú eres mío... mío solamente, eres perfecto para mí. Mi amor, murirre para ti, o contigo en este puto mundo - And you are mine. Only mind, you are perfect for me. My love, I'd die for you, or with you in this fucking world.

Te Amo. Eres mi único - I love you. You are my one and only.

Hope this helps!

[monster--mama]

In the Middle of the Night, in the Middle of the Woods

  The three of them make their way out of the tavern and into the warm, humid night in silence as they head towards Ravenna and Kaidan's bounty. Lucien stays quiet for about three miles before he starts asking questions.

"By the way, what are your names?"

"Ravenna."

"Kaidan."

"Ah, Kaidan. That's an unusual name. Where are you from, if you don't mind my asking?" He asks.

"I wish I knew," says Kaidan, "But I'm trying to find out."

"Ah, wonderful. And where, exactly, are we going at the moment?"

"For a drink," Ravenna returns, glancing back at him and letting her ruby eyes show. The implication is enough to silence him for the rest of the journey.

                                                            ~~~

"Eugh. I don't think I'll ever get used to that," Lucien says as he watches Ravenna pulls her teeth out of the exsanguinated corpse.

"Ditto," she says.

"Well, what next? Do you two have a plan?" he asks as Kaidan returns from dealing with the other bandit upstairs. "Riften," he tells Lucien, "We discussed it earlier. The Thieves' Guild, if they're still around, will be a good option to help make sure our tracks are covered."

"I still want to check out the Evergreen Grove before we leave the area," Ravenna adds, "Just remember not to pick the flowers there, lest we agitate the Spriggans."

"Are you sure that's wise? We're running out of moonlight," Lucien points out.

"Won't take but a moment. I just want to look at the alchemist," she says.

"Wasn't he in the middle of the pool?" Kaidan points out.

"Yes, but I can walk on water," she explains.

"How though?" Lucien asks.

"Rare vampiric blessing," Ravenna shrugs. So they go and let her look at the alchemist, and while she doesn't find anything interesting on him, something interesting does find them. As Kaidan and Lucien (especially Lucien) stand stock-still among the wandering Spriggans, a new, feminine voice cheerfully greets them.

"Hello! Are you three lost?"

All eyes turn to the speaker, a small and round-faced Bosmer woman with vibrant orange auburn hair.

"Uhh … No," Ravenna replies as she walks back across the pool towards her companions, entirely forgetting that walking on the surface of the water isn't extraordinarily normal behavior, "We're just exploring off the beaten path a bit."

"Ooh! Are you adventurers?" The Bosmer asks.

"No."

"Not exactly-"

"Yes!"

Ravenna and Kaidan both shoot Lucien annoyed looks for that, but the Bosmer just giggles.

"Do you folks know Skyrim very well?" the Bosmer asks. Lucien shrugs and Kaidan shakes his head, but Ravenna affirms.

"Like the back of my hand, actually. I grew up here," she says.

"Is that so? I don't suppose your group has room for one more?" The Bosmer questions, "I could use someone to show me around this cold, unfamiliar place. I'm a good archer too, so I could help watch your backs in return. What do you say?"

"Weeeeeell..."

"Um, see-"

"About that," the three of them all start at once.

"Is there some sort of problem?" The Bosmer asks, "I can find others to travel with, if so."

"That might be for the best, Miss -" Ravenna begins.

"Auri," The bosmer supplies.

"Auri. Sorry but we are on a fairly particular schedule right now I'm afraid. I'd hate to inconvenience you," she finishes, but Auri just quirks one copper-orange brow at Ravenna.

"You mean wandering around in the woods after midnight?" Auri points out coyly.

"Er, yes?" Ravenna tries.

"But you're not doing anything suspicious. In the middle of the night, in the middle of the woods, right next to a corpse adrift in the pond?" Auri asks with a mischievous glint in her eyes. Lucien and Kaidan pale at this. Ravenna might be paling too, but she can't get any lighter than her regular skin tone. Auri blinks her large brown eyes at the trio like the cat that got the canary.

"Oh, just come on," Lucien relents when Ravenna and Kaidan have run out of evasive replies

"Wonderful!" their apparent new ally declares all too cheerfully.

"We have got to stop getting in situations like this," Ravenna suggests.

"Agreed," Lucien and Kaidan declare unanimously.

[gabenvrhappened]

MoviesOr... Saltburn

There I was, sitting in the theater, about to watch what had become my most anticipated movie of the year. I was agitated, fearing that I would be disappointed. Well, when they said there was a murder on the dance floor, they weren't kidding. Saltburn is the kind of weird movie that I love, where the weirdness comes slowly and slightly to creep you out. Just enough to leave you wondering: what has happened?.

Emerald Fennell's movie, a brilliant female director, tells the story of Oliver Quick, played by Barry Keoghan, a nerdy shy boy who becomes obsessed with Felix Catton, played by Jacob Elordi. What first drew me to the movie was the Gothic and historic-old look, which I'm obsessed with, but also because of the promissed The Talented Mr. Ripley vibes, that mix obsession with cute guys in a place we all would like to run away to. That's why I was fearful if I would like the movie because it could be just a big queer-baiting two-hour movie.

If I had to point out one problem with Saltburn, it would be the 1:1 ratio (I definitely wasn't expecting that and got really let down — like I said once before, I have a thing for big screens). Other than that, the story is really incredible. Of course, there are flaws. Like the annoying Farleigh Start or the cliché plot twist. For Archie Madekwe's character, the problem wasn't the acting; it was his actions. They weren't wrong, but, also like I once said, I have a thing for hating when someone discovers the real purpose of the "villains" of the movie. I can't help but root for the anti-hero. And when it comes to the plot twist, it felt really anticlimactic. First because the biggest thing in the story was the first death, which wasn't surprising but had an impact. However, when the other ones came, although unexpected, it just hit infinitesimally small. And that's when the cliché was too cliché — even though the fact that Oliver wasn't talking to a courtroom (which I thought it would at first and made me sigh about the commonplace choice) was genius.

Nonetheless, Saltburn has delicious ingredients. An immoral main character I can't help by adore and stand by every action, that makes me want to draw some personality influences to myself. A charming troubled boy that I want to be just as much as I want to have. A fancy aristocratic debauchery aesthetic that I know I will be a part of one day. Also, I just loved the birthday party theme of A Midsummer Night's Dream, and now I just need a deer antler crown. And I gasped so hard when everyone was singing Happy Birthday to Oliver, but no one knew his name.

That's when Emerald's movie comes to show that it's here to stay printed on my mind. The movie has the perfect unsettling scenes that are just too cleverly upsetting. I wonder what was on the writer's minds to make Oliver want to drink the bathtub water that Felix had just masturbated in. It's the perfect example of obsession, and it's so visceral. Or how he would go all-in in tasting the menstruation blood coming from Vanitia's body and how she likes it when he does it. Another choice that shows how insane he is (and she as well). Not to mention the sex on the graveyard scene. Furthermore, the naked dance scene is also too good, even though not that weird, since it's something I guess everoyone would do. And even though seeing Jacob naked isn't news since he did that before in Euphoria, I missed him naked here. It feels empty, like he felt that he is too important to do this.

Ultimately, everything that I was expecting was delivered, and Saltburn has become the movie I will always want to come back to. It feels like I entered that maze and now I can't totally get out, even though I feel glimpses of the world outside. Naked in the fields, hearing the snarky remarks of Elsbeth Catton while wondering how would be the best narcissist way to kill her and get the ultimate reward. If I need to be careful not to get lost in Saltburn-By-The-Sea, at least I know I'll get away with murder, whether on the dance floor, in the weeds, or in Oxford. I know we're all about to lose our minds, and I'm not worried in the slightest.

[starks-hero]

Right a Wrong

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: You, Sam and Bucky get to work repairing Sam’s family boat. Turns out the boat isn’t the only thing in need of fixing. But with help from you and Sam, Bucky figures some stuff out.

Word Count: 3,745

Warnings: a bit of a make-out session but not enough to be classed as smut, tfatws spoilers! 1x05

a/n: This is a direct result of watching episode 5 too many times. Spoilers below!

|| Part Two ||

Small waves lapped gently against the dock and the afternoon sun warmed your back as you worked on the old boat.

You were standing side by side with Bucky, crowbar in hand as you attempted to pry off the old metal cleats from the boats side, whilst he expertly pulled rusted pipes apart and threw them into a pile. As if on queue, one of the pipes on the opposite side of the ship burst, hissing and spurting out white clouds of steam. You marvelled at how quickly Bucky reacted, quickly crossing the deck and sealing the leak with an abrupt upward turn of the pipe with his metal arm.

"Where did you learn so much about fixing boats?" You teased, motioning to the now fixed pipe with your crowbar. Bucky dusted off his hands.

"I used to work on the docks in Brooklyn before the war." He shrugged, rolling up his sleeves to the elbow and taking a seat on a crate next to you. "I picked up a few things."

He furthered his point by leaning over and pulling at the cleat you'd been grappling with. It came away from where it was attached to the boat's side with ease in Buckys iron grip. He smirked as he tossed the scrap aside and you rolled your eyes.

"Show off."

Bucky chuckled, sitting back as Sam stepped onto the boat. He was carrying a crate in one hand and shook his head when he noticed Bucky's smirk and your dismissive smile.

"Alright, you two." He placed the crate down and pulled out two green bottles, throwing one to Bucky and handing you the other. "Beer break."

Sam took a seat across from you both and you sighed as you opened your beer, raising it up to Bucky.

His annoyance was discredited by the fond smile that broke through his expression as he begrudgingly clinked his bottle with yours. You reached over and did the same with Sam as the three of you relaxed under the heat of the Louisiana sun.

"It's starting to look good," you noted as you glanced around the boat and Sam smiled.

"Yeah, it's coming together." He took a swig of his beer. "You know, Sarah and I were talking." He started and both you and Bucky glanced up at him. "And we could use the help. Don't suppose you two would consider staying around a while? Just till we get a lead on Karli."

The offer caused a noticeable smile to pull at your lips whilst Bucky shifted beside you at Sam's words. His agitation grew and he stood.

"I've got my plane to catch tomorrow, a hotel room for the night," he said, raising his bottle to his lips to hide his doubt. He really didn't have that much of a plan beyond that.

"You're just gonna set me up like that, huh?" Sam asked and Bucky shrugged.

"Well, I don't want to make it weird for your family."

"Just stay here," Sam said and you couldn't help but nod subconsciously. The truth was you really didn't really want to leave. There was something about staying with the Wilson's and spending the day fixing up an old run-down family boat that made everything seem so normal. It gave you a sense of home, a sense of normality that you hadn't had in a long time. For a while, it even made you forget about the flag smashers, Walker, all of it. It was a much-needed break.

"The people in this town are the most welcoming in the world. They don't care if you wear small t-shirts or if you've got six toes or if your mom is your aunt-"

You laughed and Bucky barely hid a chuckle behind a huff of breath and a bright smile.

"Okay, I get it. The people are nice."

You placed your bottle aside and turned to Sam.

"You're sure Sarah doesn't mind?" you asked and Sam's smile only widened.

"She's the one that offered."

Grinning, you sat back and nodded. "Then I don't see why not."

"See?" Sam pointed to you and then Bucky. "Just stay, man."

Bucky shuffled his feet for a moment before finally answering with a begrudging, "Okay. Alright." He didn't say anything else as he turned and walked down the boat.

"He'll come around. He probably just wants his space." You said, picking up your beer. Sam nodded, taking a swig of his own drink.

"I hope you're right."

You woke up feeling more refreshed than you had in a while. Your hands and back hurt slightly from the tiring work on the boat, but it was a dull ache compared to the constant throbbing that came after a mission. Your cheeks were warm, surely as a result of the hours spent out in the sun the day before.

Both you and Bucky stayed the night. Sarah had offered you the spare room and after a solid fifteen minutes of bickering, you finally conceded to Bucky and agreed to sleep in the guest bed. He took the couch.

The sun was just beginning to rise up over the water when you and Bucky both headed back out to the boat. Sam joined you not long after. You worked until mid-afternoon, reluctantly taking short breaks. You fell into a quick rhythm as you worked around the boat. Surprisingly, the three of you seemed to make a pretty decent team off of the battlefield.

"Hey, can you pass me a 12-300?" Sam asked from under the boat's control panel. Bucky reached into the toolbox and placed the wrench in Sam's outstretched hand. A few seconds later Sam was rolling out from under the controls and glaring disapprovingly at Bucky.

"What?"

"I asked for a 12-300," Sam stated plainly. "This is a 10-250."

"No, it's not." Bucky bit back.

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not!"

"Hey, geniuses." You cut their bickering short as both men turned to look at you. You held up the grease-slick wrench that had been misplaced and tossed it to Sam. "You left it below deck when you were working on the engine."

Sam muttered a quiet 'thanks' as he got back to work. Silence settled over the three of you for a few minutes until Sam decided it was getting awkward.

"So, are you still planning on leaving tonight?" He asked from under the station and Bucky nodded, before realising Sam couldn't see him.

"Yeah," he said loud enough for Sam to hear. "I'll be out of your way soon."

You could hear Sam's sigh from beneath you as he clambered back to his feet and stood between you and the super-soldier leaning against the wall of the cabin.

"Well, there's no hurry."

Sam didn't say anything else as he cleaned the oil and grease from his hands with a cloth and stepped off the boat. Bucky sighed and let his head fall back behind him.

"Go," you ordered plainly and he looked up at you.

"What?"

"Go," you said again, nodding your head towards where Sam was walking away. "You both need to talk. Bucky, whatever you're not saying, it's getting to you. So go talk to him."

Bucky hesitated, chewing on the inside of his cheek. He glared at nothing in particular but his gaze softened when it found you and he muttered a quiet, 'fine.' You stepped aside as he made his way past you and stepped up onto the dock, heading after Sam.

"And don't be a smart ass!" You called after him. He didn't reply, but you could only hope that Sam and Bucky's conversation would be somewhat constructive.

"Nice shot!" You retrieved the football from the back of the goal as Cass, Sam's eldest nephew, celebrated his score.

Once Sam and Bucky had left the boat, you had headed back to the house, helping Sarah with any errands or chores, doing anything you could to help out. Sam and Bucky had been gone a little over an hour and you didn't know if that meant their talk was going very well or very not. You'd been sitting rather uselessly on the couch, waiting in anticipation, when Sam's nephews had invited you to play a game of football. And how could you refuse?

You tossed the ball back to the boys who eagerly pounced at it. You were stood in the small goal, allowing both boys to take as many shots as they wanted. AJ stepped forward and kicked the ball, groaning when it flew off to the left, a few meters away from where you were standing and missed the net entirely. He glanced down at the ground, disheartened.

“Hey, it's alright, AJ.” You smiled as you ran to grab the ball and passed it back to him. “Come on, try again.”

With encouragement from his brother, he took the shot and this time the ball planted itself in the top corner of the goal. Both boys cheered as they celebrated and you smiled. You dusted yourself off, your knees and hands covered in dust from the football game as you turned to head back inside the house. Both boys protested as you left but you promised them you'd be back. The more time you spent with AJ, Cass, Sam and Sarah, the more you didn't want to leave. There was something about staying with the Wilson's that made you feel content. It was homely and offered a sense of normality that the last few weeks had caused you to miss.

You entered the kitchen and poured yourself a glass of water. Sarah had told you over and over again to help yourself to anything in the kitchen. You leaned against the counter, glass in hand and just basked in the feeling of not having to worry about donning a suit and risking your life at a moments notice. It was something you could get used to.

“That was adorable.”

Your head snapped up at the sound of a voice and you found Bucky joining you in the kitchen. He was smirking fondly.

“You and the boys.”

You chuckled softly and shrugged. “They're sweet kids.”

Bucky nodded, pulling a glass of his own from the shelf and filling it with water from the tap. It furthered the sense of domesticity that you were really starting to love. He took a seat at the table across from you.

“So,” you started as you placed your own glass aside. “How did it go? You and Sam.”

Bucky chuckled and you couldn't tell if it was sarcastic or genuine, but something about the grin that lingered on his lips had you banking on the latter.

‘‘Not bad,” he admitted eventually with a shrug. He hesitated for a moment before continuing. “We talked. He said if I'm going to fix anything, if I'm going to get what's left of him out of my mind.” Bucky subconsciously ran his hand across his temple. “I'm going to have to put in the work. Help the people I wronged instead of just saying sorry.”

You nodded, silently making a note to thank Sam later on. He always had a way with words, he could always get through to people. That's why he was given the shield.

“He's got a point.”

Bucky scoffed and hung his head at your words. “I should have known you'd be on his side.” There was no hostility in his words. He just sounded amused, and maybe a little tired.

“I don't think this comes down to whose side I'm on, Bucky. We both want what's best for you.” You answered honestly and Bucky glimpsed up at you. He anxiously toyed with his hands as you spoke, looking vulnerable, and slightly lost despite how hard he tried to hide it. You knew Sam had already spoken to him, but it couldn't hurt for you to say something as well.

“Look Bucky, telling yourself that you're okay and that everything that happened doesn't matter anymore because you've made 'amends' isn't going to help.”

He sighed, shuffling his feet against the tiles of the kitchen floor. “I know,” he admitted quietly.

“And I know you're probably tired of hearing this but, you're not him anymore, Bucky. You're not the winter soldier. Everything you did whilst you were him wasn't your choice. Just because you remember it doesn't mean that it was your fault. It's not your responsibility to fix it.”

Bucky sighed but didn't interrupt. He was listening. This wasn't like the therapist that he was forced to sit in front of and lie to every other week. This was someone he trusted, someone whose words he valued. Someone he honestly believed could help. He sighed but nodded to show that he was still listening.

“I think Sam’s right,” you said. “It might not be your responsibility to fix everything that went wrong but trying could help. It could give you that closure that you keep chasing after. You need to let go, Bucky. You need to forgive yourself. Maybe you just need the people who are hurting to forgive you first. Then you can learn how to do the same.”

Bucky's expression was unreadable. So many emotions flashed across his eyes you found it difficult to pinpoint just one.

“How do I start?” he asked quietly. It just seemed impossible. There were so many people he'd hurt, so many people he'd wronged. He'd left children as orphans, wives as widows and parents childless. How could he possibly start trying to fix or make all those people feel in any way better?

You smiled softly at his question. “Small. One at a time,” you said simply. “Then just keep putting one in front of the other.”

Bucky considered your words, glancing down at his hands as he thought. Before long, a small smirk pulled at his lips.

“I can't decide who'd make a better therapist. You or Sam,” he joked and you laughed, shaking your head dismissively.

“Well, Sam did council veterans so I think he takes that title.”

“I'd say it's pretty tied,” Bucky said, walking across the kitchen and standing next to you as he washed his glass, drying it off and placing it back on the shelf. The room fell into a comfortable silence.

“Thank you, Y/N.” He said after a moment, his tone sincere and his expression genuine as he looked at you. You nodded, gently placing your hand against his shoulder.

“Don't mention it. You know I'm always here if you need to talk.”

The sound of a football colliding with the wall dangerously close to the window followed by two voice's loudly shouting, 'sorry!' in unison drew a quaint laugh from you both.

“Duty calls.” You grinned, patting Bucky on the back as you passed him. “Team Wilson is missing its goalkeeper.”

Bucky chuckled, watching you go. You crossed the kitchen but his voice stopped you just as your hand reached the doors handle.

“Y/N?”

You turned back around to face him and couldn't help but notice that he seemed a little more apprehensive than he had before.

“Yeah?”

He exhaled slowly, willing himself to tell you what was on his mind.

“I was just thinking things over and you know, I’m leaving today,” he hesitated slightly before glancing up at you. “And I guess I was wondering if you’d come with me?”

Your hand slipped from where it was still holding the brass handle of the door. You tilted your head as your mind fully processed his question. The shock must have been evident in your expression as Bucky rushed to continue.

“I know you're planning on staying here and I get why.” He pulled a tattered red book from his pocket which you immediately recognized as Steve’s. He began absentmindedly turning the pages, running his fingers over the paper. “I want to try and start fixing things, making things right. But truth is I have no idea where to start. I thought that maybe you could help me with that?”

“I thought you wanted your space," you admitted after a moment.

“No.” He shook his head. “That's the last thing I want.”

You thought it over, resting your back against the door. Bucky trusted you, evidently a lot more than you thought he did. Not only was he comfortable enough telling you how he felt and admitting he didn't know what to do next. But he also wanted you with him. It was clear he was holding back, not wanting to overwhelm you by admitting just how badly he wanted you to go with him. But the way he eagerly watched you as he waited patiently for your answer was a dead give away.

You wanted to help Bucky, you wanted to be there for him. If that meant helping him right his wrongs and staying with him during that trying time, at least until Sam got a lead on Karli and the Flag Smashers, then you were more than happy to comply.

“You're sure about this?” you asked and Bucky pushed off the counter and crossed the room, stopping just in front of you.

“Absolutely.” His voice dropped down to a hushed whisper. “Come with me.” His hand gently caught your wrist, his fingers running up your arm. His face was inches from yours now, your breaths mingling. “Please?”

His lips pressed to yours before you could answer and you immediately kissed back. Your hand fell against his shoulder, the other laying gently against the nape of his neck. He groaned quietly against you, his arms finding your waist as he gently guided you backwards till your back met the wall. He pressed into you, his hands roaming up your body and you moaned as he deepened the kiss.

“Yes.” You answered when he pulled away slightly and he smiled against you, relieved. Neither of you said anything else as Bucky sighed and pulled you closer, his thigh slipping between your legs as he pinned you to the wall.

God, he'd wanted to do this for so long. Wanted to kiss you, to feel you against him. He wanted you. Your hand slipped into his hair and you pulled him closer, smirking against him. You'd wanted this just as bad. And you both only had your own stubbornness to blame for taking so damn long. It didn't matter now though. Not as he gently bit down on your lower lip and you slipped your hand under his shirt and felt up his chest. It all felt so natural, so right.

“Ten minutes.”

Both your eyes flew open at the all too familiar voice, Bucky pulling away from you so quickly he only barely avoided falling over a nearby chair.

“I left you two alone to talk for ten minutes,” Sam repeated from where he was standing on the other side of the room, his arms crossed. You tried to subtly smoothen out your clothes whilst Bucky ran his hand through his tangled hair.

“We were,” Bucky said, clearing his throat. “We were talking. We...talked.”

Sam nodded, entirely unconvinced, and smirked. He reclined against the counter, showing no sign of leaving anytime soon. A painfully awkward silence settled over the kitchen as Sam continued to shift his knowing stare from you to Bucky.

The humiliation of the entire situation seemed to get to Bucky first as he clasped his hands together after less than a minute.

“You know, what? I'm leaving in a few hours and I've got to pack so I better just go-” Bucky rambled as he shot you a subtle apologetic look before turning to Sam, who was nodding along in faux agreement to his pathetic attempt of an excuse.

Bucky quickly crossed the kitchen, Sam harshly patting him on the back as he passed him and left the room. Leaving just you and Sam alone. You turned to your friend and found that he was still grinning at you with that same mischievous look in his eyes. You felt like a deer in headlights. In an attempt to act as though Sam hadn't just walked in on you and Bucky making out, you tried making normal conversation.

“Sam, there was actually something I wanted to tell you. I know I said I was going to stay for a while but I guess there's been a change of plan. I-”

“I know.” He cut you off and his smile only widened when you looked at him in utter confusion. “You honestly think he would have asked you to go with him if I didn't tell him to get his shit together first?”

Your confusion slowly melted away and was replaced with a look of disbelief. You laughed despite yourself. You should have known Sam had something to do with it. ‘‘How long have you been playing cupid?” you asked jokingly and Sam chuckled.

“He needs you, Y/N. More than he wants to admit,” Sam said, tone now more serious than before. “Things will be fine here, I'll call you as soon as Torres finds us something to work with. But right now, he needs your help before that hole he's stuck in gets too deep for him to climb out of.”

You sighed as the weight of Sam's words set in. He was right, Bucky really did need you. That wasn't a responsibility you could afford to take lightly. Not that you planned to.

“Thanks, Sam,” you said genuinely and Sam smirked as he crossed the room and pulled you into a hug. He could tell you needed it.

“Anytime.” He pulled away and offered you a warning glare. “But I swear, if you two making out the minute I turn my back becomes a regular thing I'm going to kick both your asses.”

“Got it,” you nodded, barely stifling a laugh.

Sam's scowl melted into a smile and he motioned towards the stairs. “Go on, get your things together. You've got a plane to catch in a few hours.”

You smiled and headed upstairs after Bucky. Sam leaned against the counter with his arms crossed and a satisfied smile. Getting you two together had taken more work than he'd thought. But he knew it would be worth it, you both needed each other. Whether you were willing to admit it or not. And Sam was confident that if there was anyone that could help Bucky and offer him that sense of home and peace that he was so desperately craving, it was you.

tag list: @bakerstreethound​ @miraclesoflove​ @doozywoozy​ @kealohilani-tepise

[aetheternity]

Adventures in the Kawata twins

Disclaimer: This takes place during the present when they're all adults. This isn't an x reader persay but reader is mentioned.

Synopsis: Takemichi & Chifuyu are stuck taking care of the drunk Kawata twins. It can't be that hard they'd assumed. Though they fail to understand that the twins are dumped on them for good reason.

☆☆

"Takemichi, you plan on being a designated driver?" Draken asks as Takemichi plops into the seat next to him at their shared table.

"Yeah, I don't feel like drinking tonight." He explained with a shrug.

"Great!" Mikey exclaimed allowing his straw to slip back into the something red he'd been sucking down. "Then you can take care of the Kawata brothers." He pointed to the end of the bar where both brothers sat. Smiley swiveling back in forth in his chair while Angry just glared at all the people. Their eyes lazily hovering over the thick crowd of people.

"They're barely sipping their drinks." Takemichi scoffed

Draken snorted with a deep laugh, "For now." Though he stopped talking when Mikey elbowed him.

"Yeah ok I'll take them home later." Takemichi replied.

"Not just take them home." Mikey grunted, poking his finger out at Takemichi. "You gotta watch them!" He gestured first to Takemichi then back to the two boys at the bar.

"Ok ok sure."

How bad could they possibly get after all? They were never apart as far as Takemichi could see. Even now they were calmly sipping their drinks, Angry's feet swaying back and forth against the side of the bar stool, his face full of frustration as he played with the straw between his lips. Meanwhile Smiley began talking about something random that barely caught his brother's attention his warm smile stretched tightly against his face.

They were calm. This was gonna be fine....

An hour later~

"Where'd they go!!" Takemichi clung to Chifuyu's shoulders like they were his life support shaking the poor man like a doll.

"Well where's the last place you had them?!" Chifuyu screamed back, head darting up over the crowd trying to locate at least one of the missing twins.

"They're not lost remotes!!" Takemichi grunted

A sudden burst of clapping across the bar made Takemichi and Chifuyu whip around. A rhythm slowly forming as drunk onlookers turned to face the same direction. Suddenly a big blue tuff peaked its way over the crowd followed by a fist raising in the air and Angry's full face coming into view.

"Shit." Chifuyu cursed

Takemichi lead the rush through the crowd, Chifuyu right behind him as the two of them made their way closer to one of the rickety tables near the back corner of the bar where Angry was now pointing out into the crowd. A smile almost as big as his brother's plastered onto his face. But it had a much gentler feel to it, almost as if he did it everyday.

"You! You got what I need! Everybody!" Angry belted as he sung into an invisible mic. "But you say he's just a friend!! Now the ladies!"

"And you say he's just a friend!" Reciprocated the crowd.

"Oh God who's he singing about? Name?" Chifuyu scoffed as he held onto Takemichi's hoodie for fear of getting swept away in the crowd.

"Wait? Angry likes, Name?!"

"You must be the most oblivious person in the world to not have noticed. Even I noticed!" Chifuyu yelled over the crowd.

Takemichi sighed reaching out for the wobbly table working to keep it steady as Chifuyu went around the other side tugging at Angry's pant leg.

"And you say he's just a friend, oh baby, you-" Angry continued until Chifuyu finally managed to catch his attention. "Takemichi! Chifuyu! Hi!" He bounced on the table almost causing it to tip.

"Angry come on, let's go find your brother!"

"Ooo yeah!" He giggled like a child.

"Holy shit I didn't even know he was capable of laughing, let alone smiling." Chifuyu blinked shaking his head.

"Catch me ok!" Angry beamed

"Wait Angry!-"

Takemichi's legs folded beneath him as Angry laid on top of him. Surprisingly he wasn't that heavy, though his body weight came out of nowhere and all at once. It left Takemichi with zero breath in his lungs as an uncharacteristic Angry laid on top of him, Chifuyu's smug grin just above him.

"Thanks for the support!" Takemichi groaned in pain. With both hands Chifuyu pulled Takemichi up, helping him support Angry's weight as he wrapped the younger twins legs around his waist.

"Why-" Chifuyu gestured to the current display.

"It'll just be easier."

Angry clung to Takemichi's hoodie like a curious toddler, sticking his fingers beneath the back to play with the tag.

"Come on, we're gonna go find your brother." Takemichi soothingly rubbed Angry's back before turning to Chifuyu.

"And how do you plan on doing that?" Chifuyu asked

The sound of glass shattering a short distance away and the sounds of loud screams and grunts called the attention of almost everyone in the bar. Aside from those too busy making out or puking to see.

"I'd say follow the screaming."

They'd barely arrived on the scene but the crunches of glass underneath their shoes spoke volumes. Smiley's fists repeatedly slamming into a now completely shattered glass mirror. Blood seeping through his damaged knuckles like a punctured water bottle.

Chifuyu immediately slipped his arms under Smiley's armpits. Shaken a bit by the stoned face that stared down at the shattered mirror beneath them.

"Come on Angry we gotta go!"

"That's Smiley! This is Angry!" Takemichi yelped, shifting a distracted Angry around to look at Chifuyu.

"At this point can you blame me?! It's like we fell into an alternate dimension." Chifuyu groaned "Wait is that possible right now?"

"I don't think so!"

"Get off! This cunt is asking for it!" Smiley reached for the only part of the mirror still even slightly assembled. But before he could punch it in Chifuyu slipped an arm around his waist.

"Let's just get out of here before the cops show up!"

Even in disarray Takemichi was pleased at how much easier it had been getting the twins out of the bar then it had been finding them.

"You can still drive a bike right?" Takemichi asked as he reached into Angry's pocket for his keys. He placed a disoriented Angry on the back, trying to push his leg over the side.

"God, your knuckles are wrecked!" Chifuyu gasped astonished. Some of the glass had chipped off while some stayed wedged inside his closed fist.

"It's fine we can remove it when we get them home."

"Hey do you think Name likes that song?" Angry nodded his head, snapping his fingers to an imaginary beat. "I like the bartender, yeah if you're looking for me I'm at the bar with her!" He sung

"I'm sure it'd be just as uncomfortable for Name as it currently is for us." Chifuyu sighed "Come on get on back." He explained to Smiley.

"Fuck you."

Angry fidgeted around behind Takemichi only holding onto his waist when Takemichi physically slid his hands there. His smile deepening as he grinned along to the music he hadn't stopped singing.

After a bit more pleading Smiley plopped onto the back with his arms crossed over his chest. "Ok, now all we need to do is get them home right?" Chifuyu called over the roar of the engine and the sound of Angry still harmonizing with inaudible music.

"Actually.. I told Mikey I'd look after them for the night.."

"I hate you."

"Chifuyu, please! I can't do this without you! Once we put them to bed the rest should be easy right?"

They pulled up to a red light and for the first time tonight Takemichi could hear himself think. Yeah ok, the rest of the night really shouldn't be too difficult. The hard part was getting them out of the bar right?

"Fuck are you looking at shit stain?!" Smiley screamed to a man casually minding his business across the street.

"Angry!" Takemichi screeched

"See you did it too!" Chifuyu pointed

"Shit, I mean-"

"Huh?!" The man called turning to make eye contact with the four people in front of him.

"Can't this light change any fucking faster?!" Chifuyu yelled

"You wanna go bitch!" Smiley called

~~~~

"Smiley, please shut up!" Chifuyu was practically withering. Smiley nearly left off the bike when the man came charging forward.

In that split second the light turned green and Chifuyu sped off with Takemichi trailing just behind. A flood of nervous tears beginning to stain his face.

"You know Mikey set you up right?" Chifuyu grunted as he hauled an agitated Smiley into his and his brother's shared flat.

"I figured after looking up to see them both gone." Takemichi gasped and heaved, shutting the door behind him and Angry.

"I'm making ramen." Smiley announced, staggering off to the living room.

"No no no what you need to do is lay down. This night has been a nightmare." Chifuyu said

"You wanna go fucker." Smiley spat

"Smiley please-" Takemichi tried

"Takemichi, Michi! Look look at my Tiktok dance! You gotta watch!" Angry tugged on Takemichi's jacket sleeve with kid like hops trying to get his attention.

"Just.. I can't right now please we-"

"Why?!" Angry's outburst immediately brought quiet to the flat, the beginnings of tears brimming in the corners of his eyes.

"Shit, don't let him cry!" Chifuyu exclaimed

"Ok! Ok do the dance!"

Angry straightened, smile reappearing fully. He patted the tops of his chest, shaking his hips to nonexistent music. "You need a woman's touch in your place, just protect her and keep her safe." His arm juts out to the words he's singing, "Baby, worship my hips in ways, so feminine with grace."

Takemichi and Chifuyu blink, mouths hung in a small 'O' as they watched the awkward drunk assembly of movements matching terribly with the surprisingly on key singing. Without warning Angry clutched his knees, bile spilling from his body like a sprinkler system.

"You're in charge of Angry then." Chifuyu patted Takemichi's back as Angry continued to unleash on the once clean living room floor. Coughs escaping his drunken body. "I'll take care of.. ah shit! Where'd he go now?!"

"Maybe that's enough dancing for one night." Tiptoeing around the undigested waste Takemichi reached for Angry's arm. "Want some water?" He asked pulling a staggering Angry into the kitchen.

"There's-" Takemichi managed to get him there just in time. Angry's fingers clutching the edges of the kitchen sink as he leaned forward emptying everything in his stomach down the drain with a loud heave.

"Take your time it'll be-"

"Smiley no!" Chifuyu's voice rang across the flat. As well as the sound of multiple fragile items breaking.

What would soon follow in the next minute and a half were, a hard thud, harsh obscenities spewed one after another, and more things breaking only a couple doors away from where Takemichi was massaging Angry's head.

"Chifuyu, what's going on?!"

Chifuyu clattered out of the bathroom stumbling back and forth between both feet. "He punched me in the jaw." His thumb grazed over his jaw inspecting his hands for any sign of blood. "Do the twins have duct tape in here?"

Takemichi grabbed a paper towel dampening it before patting the sides of Angry's lips and the base of his chin where a small amount of his puke was currently leaking down.

"What do you need duct tape for?"

"Don't worry about that."

Chifuyu disappeared with the tape too quickly for further questions to be asked. Angry's smile was barely visible at this point the alcohol potentially flooding out of his system.

"Will you wash my hair Michi?" Angry pleaded with a tiny whimper.

"You should probably rest." Takemichi replied, he turned to fill a glass of water in the sink before handing it to Angry.

"Can I rest in the bathtub?"

"Why're you so violent when you drink?!" Chifuyu yelled

"Here just go to the couch!" Takemichi gestured, pushing a confused Angry back into the living room before bolting down the hall.

"What the- omg!"

"Get me some rope or some shit!" Chifuyu grunted, pulling both of Smiley's hands together.

Smiley laid beneath Chifuyu on his stomach duct tape wrapped around his mouth. His legs kicking around aimlessly as muffled noises slipped from his mouth. The shower curtain covered in blood and laid in a ball on the floor and the pole now bent in the bathtub. The window in the corner smashed in from the inside, pieces of glass littering the white tile.

I'm pretty sure this isn't what Mikey meant when he said take care of the Kawata twins!"

"Well he won't stop struggling! What else am I supposed to do?" Chifuyu gripped the duct tape, pulling it around Smiley's balled fists before ripping it with his teeth.

The sound of glass shattering in the living room brought Takemichi back down to reality. "Ok fine, just don't hurt him and clean his wounds!"

Takemichi rushed back into the living room tripping over his own two feet. His thoughts immediately scattering as he looked over the new situation. Angry's once full cup of water mixed with his vomit on the floor as the glass was now shattered in the growing mess.

"I want water.." Angry said, reaching out to Takemichi.

"Lay still on the couch and I'll bring you a new cup." He sighed

Takemichi dug around for a few seconds in the cupboard grabbing a new glass from the middle shelf. He hadn't noticed before but the Kawata twins had a gorgeous flat. That was slightly more wrecked right now. But it was clean and gorgeous almost to the point where it looked brand new.

He reached for the faucet, positioning it to fill the glass with hot water before turning it upside down to empty the glass. The water splashed against his disheveled black hoodie dampening it a little more than the sweat of this night already had. When he refilled the glass it was with cold water turning the sink top off and walking back over to Angry's kid like wonder stare on the edge of the couch.

"This house has big ceilings." Angry pointed, mouth agape.

"Yup, here." Takemichi transferred the water to Angry's open hands. He got down on one knee untying Angry's shoelaces, slipping his shoes off his feet before placing them next to the head of the couch.

"Wish I lived here." Angry nodded softly, kicking his socked feet as he sipped the cool water in the glass that had been placed in his hands.

"Lay back ok."

A deep "oof" caught Takemichi's attention as he looked to a staggering Chifuyu, pulling Smiley along like a police officer arresting a perp.

"Ok, from this point on I need to be paid." He grunted

"What happened to your face?" Takemichi gestured to the gushing bruise on Chifuyu's forehead. Blood beginning to leak down the sides of his face.

"What do you think happened? He fucking headbutted me." Chifuyu rubbed the blemish with one hand.

For the first time all night Smiley finally tapped out. Collapsing onto the floor in a small ball. One shoe kicked off God knows when. Hair a disorganized tumbleweed atop his head.

"What do you think Name would think of this song?" Angry bounced in his seat spilling water into his lap.

"Oh God please no more singing!" Chifuyu huffed in exasperation.

Takemichi can already see the crease of Angry's eyebrows and the quiver of his bottom lip. "What he means is we'll hear it tomorrow because you need sleep."

A folded blanket laid on the top of the couch and Takemichi reached for it. He shook it out before placing it over Angry's descending shoulders. Slowly the comfort of falling asleep began to rise on Angry's face. Eyelids heavy and face falling into warm ease.

"You promise?" He questioned as he laid his head on the arm rest.

"Yes bright and early tomorrow."

"Night." He whispered and less than a minute later he was fast asleep just like his brother.

For the next couple minutes Takemichi worked to clean the blood off Chifuyu's face, arms and a couple other places.

"Geez he did a number on you."

"On me, on the bathroom, on that mirror in the bar." Chifuyu listed off as Takemichi walked back to the living room leaving him to pat his bruise.

"But you did do a great job bandaging his hands."

"Uh huh."

Takemichi reached up to his face squeezing the bridge of his nose and the lids of his eyes. Chifuyu came up to his side as the blonde gestured to Smiley. "You're not gonna leave him like that are you?"

"You're right we should put a blanket on him." Chifuyu nodded, shaking his finger in front of Takemichi.

"I meant untie him!" Takemichi followed as Chifuyu went into the first available bedroom.

"Fine, once we get them both pills and clean up we can leave."

"Are you insane! Did you forget my bruises? If he wakes up at anytime before the sun and attacks it's your problem." Chifuyu snagged a blanket off the top of the bed slinging it over his shoulder.

"Why didn't we just put them in their beds?" Takemichi groaned

"It's too late they're already asleep just let it go." Chifuyu huffed

Takemichi followed Chifuyu back into the living room. With both hands he opened the blanket fully before letting it lay flat over Smiley's now relaxed figure.

"One you're insane if you think I'm going home. It's almost three am and watching these two for one night has given me nice horror stories to tell Mitsuya next time he talks about his sisters. Two I was dead serious about needing payment especially now if I'm gonna be spending hours cleaning."

~~~~

Morning came sooner than Takemichi would've liked. The sun blared through the window like the worst alarm. He squinted covering his eyes with one hand before shifting on the floor with the blanket he'd pulled from Souya's closet.

Before he could reexperience restful slumber a couple faint knocks had him tossing aside the blanket entirely. Yanking the door open with a low 'what' from the depths of his fatigue.

"Morning to you too." Draken's voice brought him back.

"Heyo Takemichy." Mikey grinned proudly

"How was last night?" Draken asked as Mikey entered the flat ahead of him.

Though the question really didn't need to be verbally answered as the image of Smiley laying on the ground with duct tape over his mouth and a half kicked away blanket revealing his taped up arms. The smell of puke still slightly thick in the hot apartment and the blood all over Chifuyu's jacket spoke louder than words.

Even with sleep still in the midst of Chifuyu's eyes he turned to Mikey and Draken standing behind him.

"Never a fucking gain." He pointed aimlessly, eyelids dashing over his eyes to properly bring the beauty of sight back to him.

Smiley rolled over, or half way over immediately awakening when he realized he was tied up. His head jerked towards Chifuyu with mumbled questions.

"Hold on."

"FUCK!" Smiley's grin was back full force. The edges of his eyebrows twitching, voice echoing through the flat. The unnecessary roughness at which Chifuyu had ripped away the tape showed off some prominent reddening just below his nose.

"Ah!" Angry nearly flew off the couch with the way he sat up immediately falling back into the pillow behind him. Clutching his head with both arms. "Who's being loud." He groaned

"We figured we owed you guys breakfast for taking care of the twins last night." Draken remarked amusement creeping onto his face.

"And this is way less than I was expecting. No cops or anything." Mikey nodded

"What happened to my fists!" Smiley grinned crazily

"Everyone stop talking!" Angry grit

"Take the twins out." Chifuyu said "I'm going home to sleep."

"Ditto to that." Takemichi yawned

[getlostsquidward]

I Wish (Part 2)

Carol Aird x fem!reader

A/N: Here you go!! Hope you like it <33

WC: 1.8k

Warnings: Mention of a slight anxiety attack

Summary: You and Carol settle your feelings for each other.

Part one

The hug was all Carol thought about for the next two days and the way you called her formally again. If you had just completed your confession, she would have risked it all for you. Not that she wouldn't, but she needed to know you're in the same boat.

The older woman didn't feel like doing anything. Avoided everyone as much as possible except calling Rindy once in a while. Florence was on vacation, and her daughter was at Harge's parent’s house. They probably won’t be back until tomorrow, she thought.

It was Monday, so you have to go to the Aird residence. You’re somehow agitated to see Carol again, afraid that you had overstepped your limit on that hug. That damned hug. You promised yourself not to indulge in any alcohol when you are in the presence of Carol so you wouldn't do anything stupid that you might regret later.

You knocked at the door, expecting Carol's beautiful face, but only silence answered you. You knocked again, "Hello? Is anyone home?" Silence. Confused, but mainly worried, you tried opening the door and it wasn't locked. Normally, Carol welcomed you, or if she's doing something, Rindy or Florence would open the door for you. There's not a sign of them in the living room. You went into the kitchen, no luck.

"Anybody home?" Carol heard someone from downstairs. Assuming it was Abby, she ignored it and turned her back to the door, in hopes of her friend won't bother her because she was ‘asleep’.

Still no answer, you went upstairs. Her car is parked outside and Harge's wasn't, so you went to the guest room, the room you know she sleeps in when her husband isn't home.

"Carol? Are you there? It’s Y/N." You called softly. Silence once again engulfing you, you proceeded to go back downstairs until you heard some shuffling from the room. Carol abruptly opened the door. Her hair was disheveled, has dark bags under her eyes, so worry flooded your chest. You held her shoulder, "Are you okay? Are you sick?"

Seeing concern paint your features, she replied "I-I'm fine. Just a little headache." She hated lying to you but she couldn't tell you either that you caused her unusual behavior the last two days.

"Have you eaten? Drink medicine? I'll make something if you-"

Carol shook her head, "I just-" "Can you get me a glass of water, please? Thank you." Nodding your head, you all but sprinted down the stairs to get her water. Knowing that she hasn't eaten yet, you made her a sandwich in haste so you go can go back up immediately.

When you get to her room, she's sitting on the edge of the bed, fiddling with her thumbs. You set down the tray on the nightstand and sat beside her. You sat in comfortable silence and wait for her to speak first.

“Rindy is with her grandparents today. They wouldn’t be back until tomorrow. I should’ve called you earlier. I’m so sorry for wasting your time-” You cut the rambling woman by squeezing her shoulder, “It’s fine, Carol. I have nothing better to do anyway. Since Rindy isn’t here I might as well babysit you instead, if you don’t mind my company.” You chuckled lightly, trying to soften the mood. I’ll be glad to spend all of my time with you.

You stood up and went to the window, missing the faint blush on the blonde’s cheek. “I don’t mind, darling. I'm much better now that you’re here. Thank you for gracing me with your presence.” Carol replied. You always found it pleasing how conversation easily flows between you two. Sometimes she will shoot you a flirty remark that made you flush, and some days you step up and subtly flirt back.

“How’s college, sweetheart? I hope you haven’t been slacking.” She joked, and you playfully scoffed at her. You know what? I have been distracted lately because there’s this person that occupies my mind 24/7. “What? Of course not.” You rolled your eyes lightheartedly. “A little distracted but it’s alright, I guess. We have research ongoing and it’s a bit stressful, but nothing I couldn’t handle.”

“Distracted? I hope going here three times a week isn’t taking much of your time.”

“No, it’s not.” You opened the window slightly to feel the breeze of the air outside. You closed your eyes and inhaled the fresh air that surrounds the countryside. The tranquil atmosphere in this area always gives you the solitude you seek. You didn’t notice that Carol had moved until she ducked her chin on the top of your head. You shot your eyes open and tensed at the contact. You can feel her faint heartbeat on your back that made your breath hitch.

“Hmm, if it wasn’t because of work, was it perhaps, because of a lover?” You can feel her teasing grin against your head. Feeling a little brave, you might as well tell her into a tiny and vague detail, since you were about to confess to her two days ago.

“It is, actually.”

“Oh? Tell me about this man, Y/N.”

You elected to ignore the bitterness in her voice and that she thought it was a man. “This person is... very charming. The elegance that oozes out of them captivates everyone in the same room as them. They look at me like I hung the stars. Sometimes I think they enchanted me or something.” You smile, losing yourself in the thought of Carol. “Even the way they smoke is mesmerizing to me. If they told me to jump a cliff, I know I would.” You chuckled to yourself. “I just hope they know they can count on me. If it comes down to the time that the world would be against her, I would hold her hand and stand by her side.”

“So it’s a her.”

That brought you out of your daydreaming. You got away from her hold and put as much distance you could, still facing her. The look on your face was like a deer caught in a headlight. Words were stuck in your throat. “I- I uh- I was-” You looked at every corner of the room, anywhere except her face and crossed your arms to your chest to shield yourself from the woman’s gaze. You chewed your lip and started clawing and scratching your left arm as if an insect has bitten that spot. Carol knew that that movement was one of the tells that you were getting anxious.

The blonde gestures you to sit at the bed. She cupped your cheek gently, “Breathe, sweetheart, breathe.” You leaned into the touch, held her wrist and pressed your thumb at the spot where her heartbeat is. The calm beat made you relax, heaving out a deep sigh.

“I understand, darling. You don’t have to be afraid.” A tear slid down from your eye but she caught it with her thumb. “There’s nothing wrong with a woman loving another woman.”

It’s now or never. Better tell her what you feel and face the rejection right now than bottle it all up then explode later. You tightened your grip on her wrist, soft enough to not hurt her, and met her loving eyes.

“I’m in love with you, Carol.”

“I’m in love with you, darling.”

You both said at the same time. The shock from each other’s confession mirrored your faces. Neither of you moved until Carol leaned in to kiss you. She glanced at your lips, then your eyes, and you nod once giving her consent to close the distance. She placed a chaste kiss on your lips and pulled away, leaning her forehead to yours. The limp arms on your side seemed like they’ve been alive and slipped their way to Carol’s waist and pulled her close again. The kiss was getting heated as Carol swiped her tongue on your bottom lip seeking entrance. You let her in as you both fight for dominance. Teeth and tongue clashing. Every word you haven’t been able to tell before is now spoken through this moment. Carol isn’t just the missing piece, but she completed your puzzle pieces together. You didn’t know when you moved but you’re now straddling her lap, her tongue still in your mouth. This is nice. This feels right.

Feeling light-headed, you pulled back and Carol brought her attention to your jaw. You let out a soft moan that made her nip at your pulse point.

You finally solved the riddle of your heart. It was Carol all along. You can clearly remember the times you spent in each other’s presence. The way you look at each other like you’re the only person in the room. The simple gestures from her; making you a cup of tea and draping you in a blanket when you and Rindy cuddled and sleeping by the fireplace waiting for them to come home. You didn’t know how Carol kissed your forehead one too many times she catches you asleep on the sofa. It’s all visible to you now. You’ve been too blinded by your self-doubt to see what’s in front of you all this time.

You giggled at this realization. Instead of pining after one another, you could have had Carol in your arms long ago. Carol pulled away from your neck and cocked her head, “What’s so funny, darling?” Flashing you a playful smile.

“Nothing. It’s just that,” Carol poked the side of your waist making you jerk sideways. “We could have done this before if I have been brave enough.” You said, still giggling but seriousness was laced in your voice. She tapped your thigh so you got up and plopped across the bed.

“Hush now, darling. None of that.” She laid next to you. “You are one courageous girl, and I admire you for it. In fact, you’re braver than me, sweetheart. Plus, we can always make up for the lost time,” Carol faced you and she now had that expression that you always find hard to read. “You know no one must know of this, right? As much as I want to hold you all of the time, darling, there’s..”

“I know, Carol.” Your eyelids are now getting heavy. “I know it will be hard, but as long as you’re by my side..” Carol’s alluring features was the last thing you saw before succumbing to slumber.

***

You woke up with an arm across your stomach and entangled limbs. Turning your head to the side, you see your lover peacefully sleeping with a small smile on her lips. Her problems are now at the back of her mind, now focused on another good thing that has happened to her.

You were a turtle finding its way back to the sea and Carol’s waves have guided you home.

[teasty]

kiss yourself (03) || h.js

● pairing: han jisung x (female) reader

● genre: angst, smut, (kinda) fluff  ||  fwb to lovers au || college!au || non!idol au

● warnings: | praise + degradation | reader and jisung are not in a relationship at the beginning! | suggestive dialogue | profanity | unprotected sex | softdom!harddom!jisung | reader gets into short fist fight | fingering | hair pulling | slight dumbification |

● words: 10.4k

→ summary: It all started when you and your best friend for life, Han Jisung, got a little bit too tipsy at a party and ended up waking up naked in the same bed. After that unfortunate night, you and Jisung confirmed there be a distinguished “friends with benefits” relationship between the two of you, with a few rules.

Number One: No one else is supposed to know about this relationship.

Number Two: The minute one of the two of you starts a serious relationship with someone, the benefits are cut off immediately.

Number Three: Have to respect the other’s wishes, if one doesn’t want to do it, then there’s no argument.

Number Four: No falling in love.

But, when Jisung starts crushing over your classmate, you start to break the rules. One by one.

a/n: a lot happens in this chapter,, it's pretty fast paced but it is what it is ~

Chapter One | Chapter Two | CHAPTER THREE

“I want you to fuck me dumb, Jisung. I want to think about nothing but you.”

You refused to cry, no matter how bad you wanted to.

You didn’t actually head back to the dorm, deciding you weren’t tired enough to fall asleep fast enough and that you simply wanted to have the comfort of being alone for the time being. You’re so fed up, so irritated and stressed, not even Jisung fucking you over and over again until you’re too weak to even speak could fix it. Neither did you feel like dealing with Jeongja, so you headed straight for the 24/7 cafe a few blocks away from the school. You didn’t go there often, but you went there a few times with Jisung in the mornings. You weren’t as familiar with the place like he was, but you knew for a fact that it was open all day, every week day.

There was only one other person in the cafe. A young, tired looking woman who typed vigorously on her laptop, which was plugged into the wall along with her phone, which she listened to whatever on. She must be a college student, since she had a backpack at her feet and a lanyard hanging from her pocket. You didn’t recognize her, so she was probably your senior. She gave you a subtle glance before turning back to her laptop, and you ignored her. Walking (more limping) up to the cashier.

“Welcome. It’s pretty late,” said a man who didn’t seem too young, but nor too old. Probably in his mid - twenties. He had a small stubble on his chin and his longish hair is tied back, a few rebellious strands framing his decently structured face. You could make out his toned chest and broad shoulders underneath the beige button up he wore, a dusty pink apron around his waist, accompanied by a pair of black slacks. He’s attractive, you couldn’t deny. “Don’t you think it’s a bit too late for a pretty little lady like you to be walking around, alone, in a tee shirt?”

“I’m fine on my own,” you admit, “I’ve been here a few times, but I can’t remember the menu. Mind handing me one?” The man nods, reaching over something to grab a one sided menu, and he hands it to you. After glancing over it, you felt too nauseous to eat, but you needed caffeine, something to keep you going since sleep wasn’t going to be an option for you tonight. “Can I just get an americano? Make it large, please, I need it.”

“Oh, coffee at this hour?” He chuckles.

“This is a coffee shop,” you glance around, a little agitated.

“Yeah, yeah,” the man laughs out, waving a hand as he pressed a few buttons on the cash register, “I’m just teasing you, sweetheart. Is that all you want? An americano, large?”

“No, get me the green tea, too,” you sigh, placing down the menu. It’s not like you to get bitter drinks, let alone two. You’re actually more of a sweets kind of person. But, since you’re not feeling too well, you just want hot, bitter drinks to keep you from going insane.

The man nods, “Hmm, tough night?” You nod slowly, “Surprised you came to a coffee shop. Most people who have rough nights usually hang around at the bar down the road. What made you come here of all places?”

“Well, it’s the first place I thought of,” you shrug a shoulder, “I don’t want a hangover in the morning either. I always know how those go. Never had the best luck when I’m drunk.” You chuckle, smiling wistfully for a moment before it turns into a bitter frown at the thought of your vague first time with Jisung. You shake your head slowly, subtly. It wasn’t a mistake. Not at all. It wasn’t bad luck. But, right now, it kind of feels like it. You’ve gotten more attached to Jisung than you have the years before you both started fucking around. “Plus, my friend used to bring me here. Thought I’d see the place alone.”

“Well, I appreciate you stopping by,” the man smiles down at you, and you give him a brief one back, “What’s your name? What should I put as the name, sorry.”

“(Y/N) (L/N),” you grumble out your name.

“Are you a foreigner?”

“No. My parents just aren’t born here,” you respond, having gotten the question hundreds of times in the past.

“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss (Y/N) (L/N),” the man smiles, and you chuckle softly as he rings up the order, “My name is Jeongguk. I assume you go to the college down the road?” Jeongguk asks as you sit on one of the stools at the counter. You sigh, your shoulders dropping as you nod slowly. Watching as Jeongguk prepares the americano. “Ah, I used to go there. I already graduated.”

“What was your major?” You ask curiously.

“I was a fine arts major. I only have my undergrad, but I’m saving up to go back and get my masters,” Jeongguk says.

“Oh,” your eyes brighten, intrigued by the sudden conversation, “If you don’t mind me asking, what’ll you do with your masters once you get it?”

Jeongguk sighs, his head tilting slightly as he focuses his eyes on the drink in his hand, perfecting it, “I’m not sure, actually. There’s a lot of things I could do. I could just work under a company to make things for ‘em, like designs and shit like that. But, I’m more into painting. Heh, but there’s not much painting can get for you nowadays. I haven’t seen many jobs that take in painters, so I’m reconsidering whether or not painting should be my go - to.”

“Right,” you nod, completely understanding, “It’s an amazing skill to have, though. You could probably start up on social media and sell your works worldwide.”

“Social media’s never been my forte, but it’s a thought,” Jeongguk passes you the americano, and you don’t hesitate to take a sip of the hot drinking, cringing slightly at the bitter taste. But, you soon get used to it. “What’s your major?”

“Political science,” you chuckle.

“Oh - ho! We got a smarty - pants over here, now don’t we?” Jeongguk jokes as he grabs a white, bulky mug from a shelf. You chuckle, a bit flusters. Already feeling better from this conversation with him, “The only person I knew in political science was Chris! You know Chan? Bang Chan?”

“Yeah, he’s on my committee, we’re friends,” you shrug a shoulder.

“Nice. Let him know I said hi, won’t you?” You nod quickly, taking another sip of the coffee, “Is it as much work as they say?”

“Well, with this dumb team I was pressured into, yeah, it’s a lot more than most other people with different majors seem to have,” you answer, and Jeongguk nods slowly, listening intently as he puts a kettle filled with water on a small stovetop. He then turns to you and leans against the bar table separating you both, “It’s fine, though. I’m just doing it to get a job so I can provide myself with enough money to get what I need and a bit more to have what I want. People in that field get lots of money, you know?”

“Yeah, just depends on what you decide to be,” Jeongguk nods.

“I guess you’re right,” you nod slowly, “I’m most likely to graduate with my bachelors, but I’m gonna take law so I can be a lawyer. Either tort or criminal, I don’t mind.”

“Ah, those are tricky fields in law, aren’t they,” Jeongguk chuckles, and you nod slowly, “Well, I wish you the best of luck. By the way, when did you and Chris become friends? I’ve been friends with him for a few years, now, and I don’t recall him being with you.”

“Oh, I only befriended him at the beginning of the year,” you say, and Jeongguk nods, “I went to a party with my friend and met him there. We’re also on the same committee for planning for the school, so we got pretty close.”

“You mean the huge party right before school started up, don’t you?” You nod slowly, “Mm. I know just what party you’re talking about. I think I might’ve seen you. You looked familiar when you walked in, so it’d make sense. Let me guess, were you with one of Chris’s buds? I forget his name, but I think his family name is Han, right?”

Your eyes instantly roll, and you nod, “Yeah. Han Jisung. I went with him.”

“Ouch, what a reaction,” Jeongguk laughs, noting your eyes which rolled sassily, “Did he do something to you?”

“It’s a long story.” You admit. It’s not too long, actually. It could be simplified, but you didn’t want to talk about it to a stranger.

“I have time,” Jeongguk says, smiling brightly.

You raise a brow, “So do I, and I’m going to spend it drinking my coffee.” Jeongguk raises his hands in surrender.

“Fine, fine. Have it your way,” And finally, Jeongguk finished your tea and gave it to you.

You both talked for the remainder of the night (well, morning) until the sun came up. You had about five coffees, trying different kinds that Jeongguk suggested, and another green tea with honey in it. You learned that Jeongguk graduated early, mostly since he didn’t have enough money, but he was also ahead of the rest of the year by a long run, so he privately graduated. He didn’t start working at the coffee shop until a few months ago, and works the night shift and was the only one there. Apparently, no one usually came in during his shift except for travellers passing by or the tired college students, which were more likely to come by and study.

You didn’t even notice it was morning until Jeongguk’s face illuminated with the sunlight over the city’s buildings. You both traded numbers, and you promised to come again during his shift on his days. He said he’d text you, but you weren’t too sure he would. You were at least thankful to not be totally alone that night, since part of you knew that Jisung was going to get to your head, and you’d be either upset or angry. Jeongguk was able to rid your mind of him, even if only for those five or so hours you sat there, talking to him.

But, once you walked into your dorm to change into a quick pair of different clothes, all you could think about is Jisung. Debating your feelings.

You, however, constantly repeated to yourself that you didn’t even like him like that. He’s only a friend. Only a friend. Have it be with or without benefits, he’s only a friend.

You decided to just wear a pair of baggy sweats and an old hoodie, not caring much for your appearance. Although there’s tons of caffeine running through your system, you were still exhausted from the lack of sleep, and your mood had been dropped. You knew there was probably going to be another meeting today with Chunae, but you couldn’t be too sure. You didn’t get any work done last night (obviously), and you don’t know whether or not you’ll hear it from her or not, whether or not she’ll pull you out of class again for a meeting you could care less about.

You didn’t see Jisung for the first few hours of school, per usual. He didn’t try texting you nor calling you, which you were a bit skeptical about, but you tried to ignore it. You’re supposed to be agitated with him. And, you are. You still cared for him, and you still miss him despite it being only one night. But, then again, he probably didn’t miss you the way you missed him.

He would miss you, sure. But he wouldn’t miss the way you kiss him, right? He wouldn’t miss the way you hold him. The way you love him.

But, you’re not in love with him.

You can’t be.

You did see Chris, though. He actually walked up to you during passing hall and pulled you aside, against a wall. He wore a concerned, tired look as he folded his arms. Staring down at you, and rose a brow. It was silent for a moment until you emit a low, “What?”

“What’s going on between you and Jisung?” Christopher says sternly, and your blood runs cold right then and there. Your eyes widen and your brows raise as you stare up at him. Did he know? You’re too scared to answer.

“What… do you mean?” You utter out.

“Jisung called me last night asking if you were at my dorm last night at, like, midnight. Woke me up when I should’ve gotten sleep…” Christopher grumbles, rubbing his temple, “He said he thought you would have run off to my place. Didn’t say shit as to why, though. Didn’t say a damn thing. The boy even asked me to go to your dorm to see if you were there, but no one answered. I figured you were asleep. I just need to know why Jisung had to call me at fucking midnight ‘cause of you.” Christopher’s Australian accent slips into his Korean, which means he’s probably both irritated and tired.

“Oh… I’m sorry. No, I was out at some coffee shop until, like, five in the morning last night,” You answer truthfully, and Christopher sighs, “Oh, and by the way. I talked to Jeongguk there. He said hello.”

“Really, now? Jeon Jeongguk?” Christopher asks, and you shrug a shoulder, “Well, I appreciate it. Tell the guy I miss him. But, that’s not the point. At this point, I’m kind of concerned. I went over my conversation with Jisung last night all morning and yet I can’t find a single reason why you would be running to my dorm like he thought or why he didn’t go see you himself. Did he do something wrong?”

“It’s not that it’s wrong. I’m just upset about it,” you answer, and Christopher nods slowly.

“Do you mind telling me what that is? If you do, it’s a possibility I can help,” Christopher suggests, but you smile and slowly shake your head.

“It’s not something you can help with this time, Chan,” You sigh, “It’s a bit too personal.”

“Okay, now I’m really concerned. I might have been Jisung’s friend longer, but I care about you, too, (Y/N). Please tell me what’s wrong. I know something’s happening between the two of you. And if it’s really that personal, I promise on my life not to tell anybody,” Christopher says.

You sigh and look around before grabbing the man’s hand and pulling him away to somewhere more private. He didn’t argue, but he seemed a bit surprised at how quickly you acted. You pulled him out to the courtyard, not caring much for being tardy, anymore. Your heart thumped in your chest. The rules vividly recite themselves in your mind; “No one else is supposed to know about this relationship.”

Well, here goes one rule flushed down the toilet.

Once you stopped, Christopher shoves his hands in his pocket, shrugging his shoulders at you, “Okay, now what is it?”

You shake your head slightly, debating whether or not to tell him. If Jisung found out, it’d be the death of you. But, you don’t know if you should be excited about that or scared. You’re not sure how he’d react to such news from Christopher.

You know what, fuck it, you thought to yourself.

“Well?”

“We’ve been fucking since the party,” you blurt out, and Christopher’s brows raise in shock. At both the news and how flat toned and blunt you were being. “I got a bit too tipsy and we ended up having sex. We made specific rules, which is so dumb of me to say since one of them is to literally tell nobody. Which means you can’t tell anyone and you can’t let Jisung know that you know this or he will kill me, Chan. Kill me, got it? Whatever, it… he and I had a bit of a fight after doing it last night.”

“But why?” Christopher carefully asks.

“Because he’s after a girl. A girl I’m not too fond of,” you admit.

“Chunae, isn’t it?”

“How’d you know?” You raise a brow, glad he isn’t overreacting to your confession to sleeping around with Jisung.

“Let’s just say that he’s been flirting with her every chance he gets,” Christopher admits, and you sigh softly, looking down in disappointment, but trying your hardest not to make it too obvious about how upset you were, “They share some classes, and he’s apparently been talking to her every chance he gets. Not to mention, Chunae seemed pretty into him, too.”

“Yeah, no shit,” you sigh, tiredness suddenly coming over you, as well as exhaustion, “We fought about it, but I’m the one in the wrong. He has every right to like someone and want to date someone. But… I dunno.”

“Do you love him?” Christopher asks slowly, and you take a seat at the nearest bench, Christopher following behind you and sitting next to you.

“I don’t know,” you answer truthfully in a small voice, “I really don’t know. One part of me misses him so much whenever I’m without him. One part of me loves him, but the other part just tells me that he’s only my friend and nothing more. But, yeah. He wanted me to stay the night at his dorm, but I didn’t since he only had me over and treated me well because he’s going to cut things off soon.”

“Do you want him to cut things off?”

“No!” You yell, a little too upset with the situation, and Christopher breaths in through his nose. You cover your face with his hands, slightly muffled by your hands, “I don’t! But he says that we will, and I-” you don’t bother to look up, cutting yourself off before you start crying out of nowhere. Your head hurt from the lack of sleep, but your eyes hurt from the need and resistance to cry.

Christopher placed a warm hand on your back, and you breath slowly.

“I don’t want him to leave me, Chris… I really don’t,” you shake your head slightly. Christopher’s hand massages your back and shoulders reassuringly. His warm hand giving you the reassurance you needed.

“I know, (Y/N), I know. It’s alright,” he sighs, his arm wrapping around you and pulling you into a hug. You don’t resist it. In fact, you lift yourself up to let your hands grip onto his shirt to hug him tightly, “If you’ll like, I can talk to Jisung. I won’t tell him that I know about the… benefits… but, I’ll let him know that you just don’t feel comfortable about his relationship with Chunae, alright? How does that sound?” Christopher’s voice is sweet and soft, calming you from your growing tears.

“That sounds perfect, Channie… thank you,” you whisper softly, your head burrowed in his chest.

It’s weird being held by another man. Another man that isn’t Han Jisung. It’s nice, especially since Christopher has such a loving and gentle personality. His hands hug you without any awkwardness, and it’s nice that someone other than Jisung can hug you without being uncomfortable.

But, your comfort was soon taken away when Christopher let’s go of you and shifts in his seat. You look up, and you see someone familiar walking towards you both. At first, your tears — blurred eyes make it impossible to see who it is, but once your eyes are cleared, Han Jisung’s perfect face comes into view. His face is stoic, his lips down turned in a subtle frown. His eyes are focused on you, and you stand up in your spot, clutching your backpack to get ready to leave.

“Don’t you dare move, (Y/N),” Jisung yells loudly, and you freeze at the spot. Christopher’s eyes widening from how aggressive Jisung sounded. Once he’s directly in front of you, he finally looks over to Christopher, and steps towards him, “I asked you to check up on her, Chan. Not do whatever the fuck you guys were doing just now.”

“What, comforting her?” Christopher stands his ground, standing up despite them both being the same height, “Something you should have been doing instead of me?”

Your hand clamps over your mouth. Jisung’s brows furrow, and his fists clench, but he doesn’t do anything, “I asked you a simple favor. To check up on her for me.”

“And that’s what I was doing,” Christopher defends himself, and you watch curiously. Neither of them spare you a glance, both staring at each other, “I’m not trying to pick a fight here, Jisung. But, it’s not my place to take care of her in… your situation.” Christopher looks Jisung up and down, and Jisung wears a disgusted look on his face. “I only asked what the fuck you did for you to think she was running off to me. ‘Cause, she was actually at the fucking coffee shop all damn morning talking to Jeongguk.”

“Jeongguk?” Jisung’s brows furrow, and he looks over to you briefly. You slowly nod, “Did you sleep at all last night?” You slowly shook your head, and Jisung groaned, running a hand through his messy hair. He turns back to Christopher, “Can you leave, Chan? I need to talk to her.”

Christopher looks past Jisung to you, and you shake your head slowly. Somewhat afraid of being alone with Jisung just for what you will talk about. However, Christopher gives you an apologetic look before turning back to Jisung, “Fine. Call me later (Y/N). If you don’t, I’m stopping by your dorm to check up on you.”

“Alright… Bye, Chan…” You mumble loudly back, and Christopher gives Jisung a subtle glance before grabbing his things and walking away.

You sat back down, half expecting Jisung to do the same. But, no, he stood in front of you. Towering over you as you stared at your feet. His hands stuff themselves into his hoodie’s pockets, and there’s a tense silence.

“Jisung…”

“Why did you run off like that last night, (Y/N)?” Jisung immediately cuts you off, and you can’t find yourself having the courage to look him in the eyes. You felt embarrassed for yourself, but you had to stay and talk to him. You don’t know how to answer. You don’t have a straight answer in your tired mind. “Answer me, (Y/N). We’re not going to get anywhere if you keep quiet.”

“I don’t know, Jisung,” you breathe out, gripping the bench below you, “I… Was just irritated.”

“Why?” Jisung crouches down so you can’t avoid his eyes. Unlike how you thought, Jisung’s eyes were more concerned than angry, like you thought they’d be. His hand escapes his pocket to rest on your knee, “I knew you weren’t irritated. You were just fine before I started talking about Chunae.”

Caught red handed. You stared at him like a deer in headlights, and your lips purse, trying your hardest to find an answer.

“I don’t know, Jisung. I really don’t,” you whisper to him pitifully, and Jisung shakes his head.

“No… No, I know you know the answer, (Y/N). I can make everything better if you just talked to me,” Jisung says in a voice you rarely heard. He’s usually joking around or simply has such an upbeat attitude. It’s so rare to see Jisung this serious, it almost makes you want to cry by how it affects you so. The way his voice lowers, relaxing and calming, yet stern. The way his eyes weren’t bright or happy, but not cold or angry.

It was almost scary.

“You say that as if there’s something wrong with me,” you try to chuckle bitterly, dodging his stare. But, his head moves with yours, and his hand that rests on your knee rises to firmly cup your cheek, turning your head to look directly at him with no exceptions.

“Because there is. There’s something you’re not telling me,” Jisung answers.

“Jisung,” your voice hardens, your heartbeat rising as Jisung’s words tug and pull at your heart, “I need to get to class. I’m already very late.”

“No, you’re staying here until we figure this out,” Jisung’s other hand grips your wrist, tugging at it, even though you never moved to get up in the first place. He seemed on edge, and took a brief glance behind him before turning back to you, “You’re my best friend for life, (Y/N). You know that. I care so much for you, and if there’s something wrong with my decisions, then I need you to tell me.”

“I…” your eyes close for a minute, nibbling on your bottom lip before looking up at him, “I don’t want you to cut things off between us, Jisung. I want to keep doing this… whatever this is. It makes me happy, Jisung.”

“Oh, (Y/N)...” Jisung sighs softly, his head dipping for a moment before he looks up at you with a pitiful smile, “Is that why you were mad last night?”

“So what if it is? You won’t do anything about it,” you answer, and Jisung’s brows furrow, “Even if I begged on my knees for you to keep doing this with me, you’d still reject me, wouldn’t you?”

“I — (Y/N), you know that I—“

“Wouldn’t you?” You cut him off, your glossy eyes boring into his. His hand falls from your face, resting on your thigh, and he squeezes it slightly.

“It depends…” Jisung answers truthfully, “On what I’m rejecting you for.” Your frown deepens, upset with his answer. Even so, you would’ve been upset if he said no. “If it’s for something stupid, like someone told me to stop or I had moral changes, hell no. But if it were for something like… like Chunae and I… then yes.”

You don’t answer him. You just stare at him, blinking every so often to try and keep away the growing tears. He would choose Chunae over you. Of course. You should have known. Everyone loved Chunae. Chunae deserved everyone’s love for how pretty, smart and proper she is. Of course Han Jisung would reject the sassy, immature and lazy (Y/N) (L/N) for a perfect woman like Chunae. You’re not a perfect woman. Not at all.

Not for Han Jisung.

It was then, at that moment of thoughts of Chunae and Jisung running through your head that you came to a sudden realization as you stared into Jisung’s worried eyes.

You’re in love with him.

You’re in love with Han Jisung. Your best friend.

“Get away from me,” you mumble.

“What…?” Jisung’s brows furrow.

“I said get away from me,” your broken voice whimpers out, “You make everything so much harder for me. Everything…” You shove away his hands and stand up, but Jisung is quick to scramble up and wrap his arms around your waist, his chest pressed against your back as his face burrows into your neck.

Your heart burns badly. It’s painful, too painful. You feel as though you’re going to collapse from how painful it is.

“Don’t go, yet. Please. You’re confusing me, (Y/N),” Jisung whispers into your neck, his warm breath sending tingles down your spine.

“No. I said get away from me,” you try and push him away, scooping your arms under his to try and push him away. But, Jisung is oddly persistent.

But, you eventually get away, grabbing your things and dashing off.

“No, (Y/N), wait! Please!” Jisung yells after you, but you're already to the building doors, throwing yourself into the building and dashing to the girl’s bathroom to recollect yourself.

And, thankfully, it’s empty. You throw your backpack down and lean against the sink. Finally, you let the tears fall. They fell down your cheeks fast and hot, the aching feeling of relief in your mind allowing you to breath slowly as the tears dripped mercilessly down your face, showing no signs of stopping.

You stared at yourself in the mirror as you cried. You were quiet. Making no sound other than sniffling here and there. You don’t even try to wipe away the tears that stain your face, too bothered and eager to cry to do so. Your eyes grow red and big, your cheeks reddening from the tears and your heart aching badly in your chest.

Once the thought of being in love with Han Jisung enters your mind, you look away from yourself. Your head falling, and you grip your hair. Shaking your head in your arms, Letting out muffled, “No, no, no!”s as you started to weakly, softly sob. Your body trembles with your tears.

You can’t be in love with Han Jisung. It’ll only end in your heartbreak. Jisung will cut things off immediately, and probably push you away once he finds out. You can’t for the life of you let him find out. You’re too scared to tell him yourself, so you have to keep it a secret from anyone who might be able to tell him and have him believe it. It’s too risky, so you’d have to keep this painful secret to yourself, no matter how badly you wanted to babble on and on about how much you hate this feeling and about how good he makes you feel, emotionally and physically.

You didn’t say a word to anyone after your short breakdown in the bathroom. You soon grew too tired to cry, and too stressed to go back to class, so you waited out that period before your lunch hour would come by. You didn’t know where to go. There would be girls hogging the bathroom, and hundreds of other students roaming the campus. You really didn’t want to be around people at this point, but you didn’t have much of a choice in the first place.

So, you went to the courtyard. You called Christopher, telling him about what happened, and he said he was going to be there right away and to meet him by the outdoor canteen. So, you sat at an empty table, waiting.

You scrolled mindlessly through your phone, wearing a blank, stoic expression as nothing was present in your all — too tired mind. Your backpack resting against your leg as you waited.

When you hear loud footsteps coming near, you look up. Not expecting who it was at first. It’s Chunae, and she looks on edge and upset. Her perfectly tinted lips frown darkly at you, and she stops in front of you.

“And where were you last class period?” She asks, and you raise your brow, turning off your phone and resting it on the table.

“Not there? Why do you care?” You scowl back at her, staring up at her with a dark glare. However, she doesn’t seem to back down, only to get angrier.

“I was supposed to give you more papers for people to contact, as well as parents and volunteers,” she throws a stack of papers in front of you. And you gawk at it. She already gave you so much shit to do beforehand, why the hell is she giving you more? You already have enough work, she should know that. She knew as well as the rest how busy political students are. And she had the audacity to throw a stack of papers on your desk and demand you to analyze and contact each person? “I want them done by this weekend, no exceptions.”

“You don’t get to decide that, Chunae,” You scoff, smiling bitterly at her. Your own anger rising, “I already have enough shit from the other stack of documents you thrusted down my throat on top of my school work. I’m not doing all this shit in less than a week!” You nearly yell, but you don’t raise your voice too much. You thrust an angry finger at the stack.

“Listen, (Y/N),” Chunae sighs, “I’m not in the best of moods right now. I don’t want to deal with bullshit right now when we’re on a tight schedule. This event is in danger of being shut down completely if we don’t finish it soon.”

“And does it look like I give two shits?” You sarcastically smile.

“Don’t joke with me, (Y/N), and please control your language. It’s giving me a headache.”

“Oh, boo — hoo,” you roll your eyes, leaning back in your chair, “What do you want? A cookie?”

“Don’t, (Y/N). I swear.” Chunae vaguely threatens, and you smirk.

“You swear what?” You urge, standing up slowly. Taking a step towards her, and she takes a small one back. Her expression doesn’t change. Her dead, yet beautiful brown eyes glaring into yours, “What’ll you do? Give me more paperwork? Tell me off to Daddy? Punch my teeth in?” You glare down at her hand, cocking a snarky brow at it before glaring at her, “I’d like to see you try to lay a finger on me.”

“Like you could do any better,” Chunae snaps, and you’re surprised how she’s snapping back instead of de — escalating the situation. It makes you excited. The urge to punch her only grew, “Your words are louder than your actions, (Y/N). Don’t underestimate me.”

You laugh loudly, “Ha! That’s funny! You… scary? Hey, I give an A- for effort, how about it?” You elbow her arm jokingly before turning back to glare through the paperwork she so selfishly threw your way.

“Don’t you dare talk to me like that,” Chunae snaps.

“You forget who’s older.”

“You forget who has Han Jisung.”

You freeze. The paper falling out of your hand as you turn slowly to see a smirking Chunae. Smiling as though she killed off her worst enemy. Your mouth falls open, and you scoff.

“What… the fuck did you just say?” You grumble darkly, her hands balling into fists at your sides.

“I said… You forget who has Han Jisung,” she repeats slowly.

You had heard her loud and clear. Just like you heard Jisung when he confessed his adoration for Chunae. You were just in shock. You did not expect this out of someone like her. And, just like that, all your respect was lost for the woman. She crossed a border she could never escape. She’s crossed a line she can never retract over. She’s pushed buttons inside you that can’t be fixed.

“I dare you to say that again.” You growl through gritted teeth, and in the corners of your eyes, you can see Christopher walking up. But, a small crowd had started to watch you and Chunae. He stops by them, deciding not to intervene physically.

“(Y/N)?” Christopher yells, and you turn your head to him. “Is…” He grows silent when he sees your angry glare.

You turn back to Chunae, Christopher watching silently, prepared if anything happens. He pulls out his phone, and presses a few buttons before pressing it to his ear. Speaking to the person on the other line under his breath. You could care less, though, and you mainly focused on Chunae.

“I said I dare you to say that again!” You finally yell, and the people in the canteen grow silent. All heads turning to the both of you, and Christopher continues talking on the phone to whoever it is. Your hand flies up, gripping the hem of Chunae’s blouse. Pulling her intimidatingly close. You’re slightly taller than her, so she looked up at you.

Chunae only chuckles softly, “I have Han Jisung… He’s mine, isn’t he?”

As if on cue, your fist, knuckling white from clenching it so hard, comes into contact with Chunae’s cheek right as an out of breath Han Jisung comes running to the scene. But, you’re too busy to pay him any mind.

Of course, like you expected, Chunae flies to the ground. Immediately cupping her face and letting out a brief cry. And, just like that, you’re the bad guy. You sigh and roll your eyes. Shaking off your hand, which aches slightly from the impact on her defined cheekbone. You turn to Christopher and Jisung. Jisung stands there, staring between you and Chunae, who lay on the ground, holding her black and blue face. Christopher just gawks at you.

“What the fuck, (Y/N)?!” Jisung yells.

“Hey, before you overreact, I can explain…”

But, you’re quickly cut off when you feel a yank at your ankle, and you let out a yelp as you get yanked down. Your body yanked down, and the top of your head slams against the table you were sitting out, letting out a loud thunk through the air. And, you can briefly see Jisung trying to run up, but Christopher holds him back briefly.

Your hand flies up to your head, dizziness overtaking you as your mind falls blank for a second. Your head begins to throb, and you hiss through your teeth. However, you’re not gifted with enough time to get over the pain like Chunae did before she towers over you. Her high heels are kicked off, and she presses the ball of her foot into your chest, forbidding airway.

You’re a little too dizzy to think, but you’re conscious enough to react. Your hand flies up on instinct, your hands gripping her ankle and twisting it with your hands, causing her to fall. Before she could have time to get back up, you climb back on top of her and straddle her stomach.

She kicked and struggled, but your hands gripped her wrists (all too familiar with this position with the help of Jisung), pinning them to the ground. Your head aches, throbbing painfully. You’re still dizzy, trying to stay conscious from both the lack of sleep and from your head hitting the table.

“Hey! Hey, calm down. Just, oh fuck, my head. Oh, my god, Chunae, what the fuck is wrong with you?” You grumble as you squeeze your eyes shut, as if that would ease the pain. But, it doesn’t.

Jisung and Christopher eventually come over. Jisung’s arms wrap around you, just below your breasts as he pulls you off. You don’t struggle, but Chunae does. Christopher struggles pulling Chunae away, who still tries to pummel you.

She got a good hit on you. But it wasn’t really her. She just yanked your ankle, which threw your head against the table. You melted into Jisung’s arms, and he helped you to your feet carefully. Every movement made your headache worse. It blistered your head, sending shots of pain through your body. You tried your best to stay conscious, but it was a bit more difficult than one might seem. So, you focused on the way Jisung’s hands held you to try and keep you awake.

You faintly heard a teacher running over, asking about what the hell was going on. Jisung excused him, saying that there was a fight but it’s been handled and he’s taking you to the nurse’s office. So, the professor let you and Chunae go without much argument (probably not wanting to deal with something like this in the middle of the day.

But, Jisung didn’t take you to the nurse’s office. Christopher did, though, dragging a struggling Chunae away to the nurse’s office with no help. Jisung whispered incoherent words to you as one of his hands gripped your waist, the other holding your hand as you stumbled on your own two feet. Your vision blurred and your stomach erupted in pain. You had a concussion, all because Chunae as able to swipe at your ankle.

You were in too much pain to think clearly, hanging onto Jisung, “Ji… my head hurts so fuckin’ bad.” Your words are muffled by the lump in your throat that grew from the pain.

“I know, baby. She got you pretty good, didn’t she,” Jisung’s soft words seem to calm your head a bit, but it goes away the moment your foot plants on the ground to take another step, “It’s alright… I’m sure she wasn’t in a good mood, that’s all.”

“Shut up,” you grumble out, and Jisung sighs softly, squeezing your waist briefly as he walks you through a pair of doors and down a hall.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N). Let’s not talk about Chunae right now. Let’s just get you to rest for a bit,” Jisung reassured, and you thanked whatever god is out there that he’ll shut up about Chunae.

“Where’re we goin’?” You look around, squinting through your blurred vision, as if that’d help (news flash; it didn’t).

“Back to my dorm,” Jisung answers, and you turn to him, “Jeongin isn’t back, yet, so don’t worry. Besides, we have better shit than the nurse will give you. She’ll just give you an ice pack and tell you to move on with your day, now won't she?” You think about it for a moment, although nothing goes through your mind. But, you agree with him and nod slowly.

The rest of the walk is silent. Sometimes, you’d nearly trip over your own feet, but with Jisung’s hand on your waist, he always caught you and whispered words of reassurance that never truly got all the way through your brain. Eventually though, you both made it to Jisung’s dorm. He unlocked it with one hand easily and threw the white door open. Not bothering to flick on the light before he walked in, kicking the door closed, and sat you on his bed.

Once you sat down, you felt like you’d been holding the world on your shoulders. You got a bit of relief since you weren’t moving around as much, but it still hurt like a bitch. Your head throbbed, everywhere. Your body twitched in pain. You couldn’t think straight nor could you see especially clearly, and you felt like you were about to throw up all of the coffee and tea you’d had this morning.

Jisung shuffled through one of his drawers before pulling out a first aid kit. He took his chair from his desk and rolled it in front of you, sitting on it and placing the first aid kit in his lap before opening it. “Dad always said to keep it handy. Turns out it’s finally coming to good use. I just need to see if there’s a wound on your head.”

And, so, without struggle, you lay forward, your head resting on Jisung’s knee as he gently moved your hair to the sides, looking for something. He did end up finding a bruise on the top of your head and said that it would be best to leave it alone for the time being before icing it. He gave you a few pills of over the counter medication to help ease the pain. But, he seemed a bit conflicted. It was mostly silent, you didn’t really talk since you didn’t have the strength to nor the will to. Chunae might be pretty weak, but with a blow to your head on the table like that… that’ll fuck you up real good.

Once you’re laying against his pillows, Jisung finally pipes up again.

“Come here.”

“Hmm?” You look up, and Jisung’s legs are spread slightly, one hand on his thigh as he looked over to you. His hair shadowing his eyes slightly.

“I said come here, now don’t be stubborn,” He motions you over with his hand, and you groan and squeeze your eye shut as you sit up and slide off of the bed and walk up to him. Jisung guides you around and slowly onto his lap. His arms wrapped around your waist tightly.

“Jisung?” You mumble softly.

“Shh… This is going to help you with the pain, baby,” Jisung whispers against your ear, and you feel his press a gentle kiss to the back of your ear. You breathe in sharply, somewhat knowing where this is going as Jisung’s hand grips at your shirt. “It’ll make your head feel so much better, baby. I’ll make you feel good, alright?”

“Mm… how would that help?” You sighed out, your head already leaning onto Jisung’s shoulder, your eyes closing in relaxation as Jisung’s hands caressed your stomach, nearing both your breasts and your womanhood, but not daring to go near just yet.

“It’ll make all your muscles relax. It’ll make you feel better,” Jisung whispers into your ear, making you shiver, “Don’t you want that? You want me to touch you, babygirl?”

You can’t think straight. All morality and logic is thrown out your mental window, so you nod quickly without thinking. One your hands swiping up to caress Jisung’s neck as he pressed a few light kisses to your ear. “Alright, (Y/N). My sweet baby. Just relax for me, alright?” The praise makes butterflies erupt in your stomach, and you nearly forget that he’s only your friend. Your legs spread slightly, your back pressing to his chest. Letting him hold your weight. “That’s my good girl. My perfect (Y/N).”

His. His perfect (Y/N). Those words made you happy, oh so happy. Even if a thought couldn’t bear to finish in your head, you still enjoyed such words. It’s a break from the name calling and the dirty talk. It made you feel like the only girl in the world. Like Chunae was never a part of the picture to begin with.

Jisung’s hands slowly unbutton your jeans, his lips still pressing kisses to the side of your neck and your ear. Occasionally whispering short sentences like, “Good girl… That’s right… Oh, baby…” It makes you squirm in his grasp as he undoes your jeans and pushes them off of you. You weakly lift up your hips to help him a little bit as Jisung lets your pants fall to the ground with a low thud. You press your ass against Jisung, your leg spreading a bit more at the feeling of the cold air of the dorm meeting your clothed womanhood, which got wetter by the second.

You let your head lift, resting your head against Jisung’s cheek to let it rest, but you wanted to watch his hands as they softly caressed your thighs. Sending calming chills through your legs and your gut as his warm hands touched your thighs and hips ever so intimately. You melted into his touch, your lips parting to allow your low breaths to become audible. You could feel Jisung’s breath against your ear and your neck, and your neck craned slightly to feel more of it.

“You’re so beautiful, (Y/N), you know that?” Jisung’s low, sudden voice sent butterflies exploding in your stomach. You whimpered softly in response, not knowing how to respond to such praise, since Jisung was quite the degrader. He’d usually call you all sorts of dirty things. He’s probably taking pity on you since you’re hurt, but it doesn’t matter. It still makes you feel so happy and so turned on. “My beautiful baby…” Jisung whispers, seemingly to himself as his fingers brush over your clothed cunt.

“Jisunggie… don’t talk nonsense,” you utter out, sharply gasping when you feel the base of his fingers press against your clothed labia.

“What nonsense?” Jisung chuckles deeply, his fingers rubbing slowly circles, making your eyes close in bliss and your head rest against Jisung’s shoulder, your hands gripping the arms of the desk chair as Jisung’s other hand squeezes your inner thigh. “Don’t say that it’s nonsense. You’re only lying to yourself.”

You didn’t respond, basking in the pleasure and praise as Jisung’s experienced fingers rubbed along your clothes labia. Soaking your panties through with your juices (yet another pair of perfectly good underwear ruined by Jisung), the outline of your pussy showing through and letting Jisung touch even more sensitive areas.

He goes for a while without actually touching your bare womanhood. Mainly his index and middle finger rubbing and massaging your labia and over your pussy. Jisung’s eyes focused on his hands as he worked them over you. You feel yourself relax, the pain easing from you. You forget about the headache, the dizziness. The nausea and the aching throughout your body; forgotten. All that’s on your mind is how intimately Jisung touches you. How his experienced hands move over your sensitive pussy in such a delicate, yet firm way. So gentle, yet so emphatic.

So loving, yet so bitterly resistant.

Your mind grows blank. Too caught up in the relaxing pleasure and from overcoming your concussion to think straightly. All that keeps your mind wandering is Jisung and Jisung alone. Not Christopher. Not the man, Jeongguk, that you met at the coffee shop. Not even Chunae. Only Han Jisung.

After long minutes of slowly teasing your cunt, soaking your panties with your wetness, Jisung finally bids you one good deed and taps your hip. Guiding you to raise it as he slips them off slowly. Letting them fall down your legs and onto the floor below. You step out of them. Your bottom half now completely exposed, yet you still wear all that’s on your torso. You didn’t care, though. It was better than being fully clothed, anyways.

“Oh, fuck…” Jisung breaths out in a rugged manner as his fingers slowly brush over the lips of your pussy, your sweet wetness seeping from you, already coating Jisung’s fingertips, “You’re so wet for me, baby. So wet for me. It makes me want to fuck you so hard. You’d like that wouldn’t you?” You frantically nod against Jisung’s head, watching as his fingers push against your labia and against your core. Firmly pressing against your clit, and your back arches as you grind your hips on his fingers. “But, I won’t. Not yet, anyways. I’m going to make you feel better, not make you scream and give you a headache all over again.”

Jisung chuckles deeply, as if what he just said was nothing more than a joke, but you didn't laugh along. He doesn’t seem to care, though, since you’re obviously so immersed in the way Jisung’s fingers rub your pussy gently. His lips part slightly, pressing a gentle kiss to your neck as his middle finger teases your entrance.

“Jisung, ahh~... Yes, please, just like that…” you whisper out in sharp breaths as Jisung slowly inserts his middle finger into you. Pumping slowly until his knuckles are pressed against your heat. “Fuck, yes… Love your fingers so much, Jisung - ah.”

“I know, baby,” Jisung tenses below you at your words, and his finger slightly curves inside you, making your leg twitch. But, his hand that caressed your thigh gripped your leg, keeping you steady on his lap. “I don’t usually get to finger you like this, do I? Letting my hands do all the work, hmm?”

No, he didn’t. But damn, you wanted him to more often. You didn’t answer, only with a delicate moan as Jisung’s middle finger slowly pumps itself in and out of you. Curving slightly every time it thrusted into you to hit that special spot. Sending chills through your torso as his finger worked inside you so well. Your walls clench around him, despite how he was going slow. It wasn’t painfully slow, but not enough to make you cum quick enough. It’s a slow burn. Slowly building up your sensitivity as his palm pressed against your clit.

“You take my fingers so well, (Y/N) - ah… You’re always so good for me, aren’t you?” Jisung comments, his voice low, yet gentle. Soft to the ear, and not as aggressive and dark as it tended to be during sex. It sent you on an overdrive. It drove you crazy by just his tone of voice. It made your heart ache and your pussy wetter and wetter. “You don’t know how hard this is for me, baby…”

Oh, you knew. You can feel his hard dick pressing against your ass. The only thing keeping you two apart was his few articles of clothing. But, no matter what he was wearing, you could still feel how he ached underneath you. You mentally applauded him, but you were too lost in the lust to actually bid him something of a congratulations for being able to hold back this long (since he was usually pretty desperate to get his dick inside you).

It’s another minute or so until Jisung pushes in another finger. Slowly stretching you out and making you moan even louder. The way his fingers curled ever so slightly inside you, hitting that special spot over and over again drove you insane. His fingers pressing against it firmly with the tips of it. Your mind hazed with lust and desire, and your craving for him grew even bigger and even more intense.

“Shit, Jisung - ah… That feels so good ~,” you moan out as you meet with Jisung’s knuckles, grinding into his fingers.

“Hmm… does it, baby? You feel good?” You nod slowly to his words, and Jisung breathily chuckles, smiling, “See? I said it would help.”

“I don’t care about that…'' you sigh out softly, although it wasn’t entirely the truth and you were thankful that Jisung’s suggestion was able to subside your headache. “I want you to fuck me dumb, Jisung. I want to think about nothing but you.”

Jisung’s fingers stay inside you, his hand pressed against your throbbing pussy as he looks at your face. You already looked so fucked out. So desperate, your eyes craving and needy. “Are you sure?”

You slowly nod, turning your head and pressing a kiss to his lips briefly. It wasn’t too sloppy, but your tongue brushed over his lips, “Yes, Jisung… I want you to make me your bitch…”

“Oh, sweet, sweet (Y/N)...” Jisung chuckles darkly, his hand pulling itself from your pussy, making you twitch and gasp loudly as his wet hand flies up to grip your cheeks. Pushing your head back slightly as his fingers press into your jaw, holding your head in place as you clenched around nothing. Your pussy craves both release and Jisung ever so badly.

“You were my bitch since the beginning,” Jisung’s voice grows familiarly dark, and you try to clamp your legs shut from the chills that run through your womanhood. But, Jisung’s hand yanks your legs apart. “Keep your legs spread for me. I’m going to fuck you until you’re begging for me to stop.”

You let out a breathy moan, and, at first, you thought Jisung was going to pull you into a kiss. But, he didn’t. He chose a rougher path. He quickly pushes you off of him. Standing up and pushing you face first onto the bed. The back of his hand pushing your face down into the sheets, the other guiding your hips up slowly. Spreading your legs for him. Such a dirty position, your dripping pussy on display for no one other than Han Jisung.

But, he doesn’t spend much time staring at your pussy. Instead, his hands grip your wrists, and he grinds his clothed, hard cock against your wet pussy. He let out a breathy moan, leaning over your so he was next to your ear as he whispered, “You see how hard you make me, (Y/N)? You see you fucking riled up you make me? Makes me want to fuck this pussy all damn day. Have you sit on my cock all fucking day, huh?”

You moan out in response, your hair spread as your hoodie fell down. Your bra is slightly exposed, and Jisung pulls himself up. Basically ripping off your bra and tossing it to the side. Not even bothering with the hoodie itself as he tore down his jeans.

You couldn’t watch him, so you knew he was fully exposed when you heard the snap and fall of his boxers. It’s almost an instant when his throbbing head comes out and presses against your pussy. Your lips fall wide open as Jisung rubs his cock over your soaking pussy.

“Oh, fuck, you’re so wet for me,” Jisung moans out lowly, “So ready for my cock, like always. So desperate for me. So needy for me cock, aren’t you? Already so fucked out and I haven’t even put my dick inside you yet. Such a slutty girl…”

You moan out, your back arching, presenting yourself more to him, “Jisung! Jisung, please just fuck me…! I need it so bad, please…So bad…” You breath out rapidly, clutching the sheets.

Jisung lets out a shaky breath in response to your begging, “Since you asked so nicely…”

And, like an instant, Jisung was inside you. His hips pressed against your ass, his hands guiding your hips back to meet with his. You let out loud strings of moans and groans of Jisung’s name and incoherent words as Jisung fucks himself into you, raw. His dick throbs inside your wet walls. You clench around him desperately, your back falling limp as you succumb to the pleasure.

“Oh, fuck, (Y/N), you do so well in this po-position, don’t you?” Jisung breathes out raggedly, and you moan loudly in response. Jisung’s hands harshly gripping your hips and waist to have you meet back with his harsh, aggressive thrusts. His cock burns your hot walls, burning in such a blissfully good way, it makes your eyes roll back in pleasure.

“Ji-Jisunggie -ah… It’s so… so good - oh, fuck! Just like that, please, just like that!” You scream out as Jisung props up one of his legs, allowing him to have a better angle to thrust even faster and harder. Ramming his rock hard dick into you with passion. Jisung’s hands trail around your waist and ass once you’ve started to bounce back, meeting with his thrusts on your own.

His hands knead your ass. Spreading your cheeks before firmly pressing them. One of his hands, however, reaches up. Slowly crawling up your back, and his hips stagger a bit as his hands grip a handful of your hair. First, his hand merely presses against your head. But, at some point, he yanks you head back. Forcing you up from the bed, and you use your weak arms as support as Jisung’s hand yanks at your hair. You stare at the wall, but you don’t focus on it. You can’t. Your eyes keep rolling back or crossing, mixing beautifully with your loud moans.

Jisung uses the grip on your hair to give him a steadier rhythm as he thrusted into you. His hips slapping against your ass, making it bounce with every thrust. The sounds of skin slapping, your loud moaning and Jisung’s groans and occasional dirty talk filled the room as Jisung pressed wet kisses to your neck. Suckling on the back of your neck especially, and you moan from the feeling of his tongue being flushed against your sweating skin.

It was so much, his cock, the pulling of your hair and his tongue on your neck. Your mind falls blank, thinking of nothing other than Jisung’s cock. Some drool dribbles down the side of your chin as your eyes water from the pleasure. You can’t say anything more, not even being able to form Jisung’s name correctly. You’re so fucked out, so beautifully fucked out.

Jisung definitely noticed it, too, since it gave him the courage to start biting your sensitive skin. It was more sensitive in some places, and you immediately knew that he left hickeys. He bite them gently, yet firmly before running his tongue over the markings.

Your pussy clenched around him dangerously tight. So tightly, it makes Jisung let out a low, broken moan and makes his hips stagger and twitch as he presses himself deep into you. “You’re gonna cum, aren’t you, babygirl? You gonna cum for me like the good little slut you are? Cum on my cock, (Y/N). Cum for me,” Jisung groans out loudly, pressing your head against the sheets again, muffling your loud moans as you feel your climax nearing.

Your knees buckle as your legs twitch and tense dangerously tightly as you feel yourself cum hard. Jisung slows down slightly, riding you out on your high. Your loud moans turn into high pitched ones as your back spasms from the intensity of it.

Right after you cum, Jisung quickly pulls out of you before shooting ropes of white cum onto your ass. You breathe heavily, trying your best to catch your breath as you listen to Jisung moan loudly once he cums, too. Your pussy clenches around nothing, and you feel your entire body relax. All your muscles calm. Exhaustion washes over you like a tidal wave.

And you’re out like a light.

Jisung was a bit concerned as to why you fell asleep so easily. But, he didn’t argue. He gently cleaned you both up while you slept and changed you into a pair of his clothes after he realized you wouldn’t wake up even if he blew an air horn in your ear. He laid you in his bed, as comfortably as he could make you. He wiped the sweat off of your face and watched your sleeping face for a few minutes before he moved back to his desk, grabbing his laptop from his backpack and opening it. Opening work for his classes, since he’ll be absent for the rest of the day.

You slept exceptionally soundly, and he was thankful for that.

Jeongin actually came back that night, too. At first, he didn’t see you sleeping in Jisung’s bed, but once Jisung motioned for him to be quiet, Jeongin looked over to his bed to see locks of (H/C) hair poking out of the blanket. He wondered why you were here, and Jisung naturally just said that you had gotten into a fight and injured yourself and he was taking you in to take care of you. Jeongin didn’t argue much and minded his own business for the rest of the day.

However, Jisung intended to sleep next to you. But, he couldn’t bring himself to. The guilt piling inside him prevented him from doing so.

[midday0nightmares]

31 - a week later.

Previous chapter a rat.

m.list.

warnings: this series contains themes of yandere\mafia, blood, violence, mental health, drugs, non-con.

author note: this is pure fiction and it is not intended to romanticize any of the situations mentioned bellow.

3 days after.

“Jeno .. can I ask you something?” 

“Sure” he replied,

 jeno too has changed, he has become more caring towards you like he was stepping to fill jaemins place, while jaemin was occupied.

Jeno was more controlled, he didn’t show much, if you didn’t know what had happen you would have believed everything was fine.

“What’s gonna happen to me if..? You know” ,

you leave the questions unfinished, but jeno understands what you wanted to ask.

His mouth opens to speak but closes shut again, he takes a minute to think before he answers “I don’t know”.

His honesty although appreciated didn’t help at all.

 “but, I will do my best to make sure you’er taking care of” he reach to hold your hand over the table, gently squeezing it to reassure you.

.

.

.

5 days after.

You saw less and less of jaemin.

The stress of it all was getting to you too, you were agitated.. you blamed it all on jeno.

“Why don’t you just confess?”, 

your question was loaded with hostility.

He looked at you, a desperate look on his face, he told you over and over but still he tells you again,

”it’s complicated sera”.

You scoff, his answer seemed more like an excuse than a genuine answer. “what’s complicated? You did it, you are the one who should be facing life in prison not him” you pointed at jaemin’s closed door.

He exhales, his eyes close “you don’t know what you’er talking about”.

“You killed him!” You contain to argue but he gets up and leave, ending the conversation.

Tears of anger pooled in your eyes, this is another level of injustice. 

.

.

.

6 days after.

You were quietly munching on your cereal, jeno sat across form you sipping on his bitter coffee.

The mood was tense, unstable.

The neglected tv flashed a breaking news strip that caught your attention, it was about the murder in a diplomatic’s son house, “turn the volume up” you ushered jeno.

“.. it has been determined that the leased apartment falls under diplomatic amenity and no further investigations could be carried” 

You looked at jeno, “dose it mean that they’er closing the case?” You asked, carful not to get your hopes up, he remind quiet for a minute before he nods “ yup, I guess they are”.

You jumped out of your seat, squealing with happiness “yes! Yess thank god” you grabbed his arm to share the joy but he didn’t move.

He wasn’t happy, nor relieved.. he didn’t seems to feel any thing.

You top your small celebration, “what?” You asked.

“Nothing” he stood up ready to leave, “clean up when you’er done”.

he leaves you to your wild thoughts to run the worst case scenarios. 

.

.

.

Today

The week slowly rolled over with much tension and uncertainty, jaemin has been called to the police station couple more times, you swear each time he comes back, he has aged years.

You wanted to be by his side but he didn’t even look at you when you tried to call him this morning, if he’s not out then he’s locking himself in his room. you tried knocking on his door, to get him to at least eat a proper meal but he didn’t answer. Each attempt has been met with either complete silence or a sharp temper, he would lash at you then quickly apologize.

This is not how you wanted your first semester to begin, you attended the first week of your online classes but you couldn’t really focus on what has been said, not with a disaster hanging above your head ready to drop at any minute.

And as much as you wanted to blame it all on jeno, you couldn’t anymore. The case is closed, but why is jaemin still being investigated? Could it be because of you? Did the police knew you were taken? Was it your fault?.. you tossed and turned in your bed, it felt cold and empty without him, you missed him so much. After a long string of pillow thoughts, slumber finally took mercy over you.

“y\n..” 

An unfamiliar voice calls your name.

“y\n” 

the whisper gets louder, your body tip over and fall off of an edge to an endless darkness.. you jerk out of the nightmare, drenched in sweat and gasping for air.

You clam yourself and push the heavy covers off of you, dragging your feet to the kitchen for some water, you don’t bother turning the lights on, you open the fridge door and take a bottle. The icy water clears the clouds in your mind only for the grim reality to take its place, jaemin might be taken away.. you dwell on the scary thought. 

You turn your head to see the lights of jaemins room were on, your heart clinches, he’s still awake at this ungodly hour.

Opting not bother him, you head back to your lonely bed, but the dark figure in the balcony almost gave you a heart attack.

You recognize the man, it’s jaemin.. his tall figure was standing in the dark, the phone was pressed to his ear, his demeanor was agitated, shifting his weight form one foot to the other, you couldn’t hear anything but you can tell he wasn’t happy.

You turn to see if jeno was in his room, his lights were off and his shoes were by the door. you always had the impression that they were close, partners in crime. they did all their nasty work together, but why is it only jaemin who is in this mess right now?.

“You can’t be serious !” 

Jaemin’s loud voice comes clear through the thick glass, his hand running through his hair seemingly wanting to rip it from the roots out of frustration. You can tell he was angry, desperate.. he keeps shouting but you can’t make out what he was saying. you step closer, as close as you can without being seen by him, you try to decipher his muffled voice,

 “I am your son! Your only son” 

you’er not sure if that’s what he said.. 

He speaks in a lower voice before he removes the phone from his ear, ending the call. He punches the wall next to him, he was beyond pissed.

You move to hide behind the curtain to avid angering him more, he opens the door and steps inside slamming the glass door behind him.

“I can see you” he deadpan says in the dark, since there’s no one other than you, he must be talking to you and you make the quick decision of coming out before he losses his temper. 

“Im sorry, I had a nightmare and I got up to drink wa..” You try to explain yourself but he waves his hand with not much care “Yeah yeah” and you stop talking.. he walks to his room, the dull city lights illuminating his backside, his shoulders were slumped, his back hunched with heavy burden, the sight of him broken made your heart twist inside your ribcage.

“Jaemin” you call him without a plane, he stops and looks at you, “Are you okay?”, stupid question.. 

Although it’s dark, you can feel his eyes burning holes into your face.

“Do I look okay?” He retorts,

You answered him with a small “no”

he turns to walk to his room but you speak again, “I can help you if you tell me what wrong”, bold statement.

He stops again and heavy sighs, your heart thumbs in your chest as you wait for him to speak, but all you get was a scoff, “why don’t you just know your place huh?” he asks with much condecindence, although you know he didn’t mean it, his words still hurts. 

“Just stay out of my way, you have done enough already” he adds more sharp words, twisting the planted knife in your heart.

“I just wanted to help you and be here for you” your voice breaks and you hate yourself for it, but you chock and the tears starts to gather in your eyes, he huffs and looks up to the ceiling, impatiently waiting for you to recompose yourself. But his cold nonchalant demeanor triggers more eruptions inside of you.

 the words escapes your mouth before you have thought of them.. “all I wanted was to help you, but you keep me away form you! you don’t tell me anything, no one is telling me anything! I don’t know what is happing or if I will see you when wake up the next day” you rant through the sobs, your voice getting louder and louder, and when he was fed up with you he shuts you down with a loud scream “shut up”.

 Jeno comes out of his room, bewildered and alert.. he stands in the background watching the fight evolves.

“You are not my girlfriend” he walks towards you, making you feel small and insignificant, “I don’t own you anything” his tall stature looms over your short one, that cuts deep. 

you look at him, you stare into his eyes, challenging him to take what he said back but he doesn’t.

“Yeah?” Your voice barely comes out, “fine then I guess I have no reason to stay here anymore”. you turn and stomp to where your bed is to collect your few belongings, he follows behind, his steps shaking the ground beneath you.

“where the fuck do you think you’er doing?” He asks but you ignore him, more so you couldn’t speak due to the choking knot in your throat, but your lack or response angers him even more, he grabs your arm and turns you around with much force, that it almost dislocates your shoulder, you whimper at the pain but he doesn’t care, his grip tightening even more, his eyes glazed with a dark, sinister layer.

“Jaemin!” Jeno warns, but it does nothing as another screaming match breaks between you, with him asking you the same question, not really waiting for an answer, and you shouting whatever comes to your mind first, curses, accusation, anything to hurt him. you don’t know who started it first but hands were being thrown, jeno was trying to break you apart, but  eventually, jaemin overpowered you and threw you over his shoulder like a rag doll, your kicking and screaming did nothing against him.

 “Jaemin” jeno shouted at his friend who was in a trance, muttering the filthiest insults under his breath.

“Where are you going? Jaemin!” jeno tries to reason with him. at this point jaemin was like a robot, marching to his room, he kicks the door to his bedroom open, he slams you to his bed, knocking the wind out of you. 

“Jaemin! Calm down” jeno was trying to stop whatever jaemin was doing, he kneels and opens his safe, jeno’s voice getting louder, you were paralyzed with fear everything is happing so fast for your brain to form a response.

Jeno was trying to pry jaemin’s hands out of the safe, “come on! don’t do something you’ll regret”, jeno was almost begging him to stop.

jaemin finally broke out of his trance and turned to jeno “get out!”,

but jeno stood in his place like a pillar, his presence seems to clam jaemin, he takes a deep breath and pushes his hair back “I know what im doing” he speaks calmly this time before he turns back to you, you swallow the thick knot “jaemin please..” pleadings to spare your life were timid but loud enough to be heard, your body crawls as far away from him before the wall stops you.

He kneels down and reaches again inside the safe, for a second the time has stoped, everything moved in slow motion. 

He takes out a metal handcuffs out of the safe, the blood that was frozen in your vines moved again, you let go of a breath you didn’t know you were holding.. jeno does the same “fuck..” he must have thought the same, he too believed jaemin was about to kill you.

Your limbs fell weak and cold due to the withdrawal of the adrenaline that filled your bloodstream, you feel sick, dizzy.

The bed dips under jaemin’s weight next to you, your head falls back into his soft pillows, aimless tears rolls down your temples, you give him your hands to cuff. you are worn out, you surrender.

He takes both of your arms and cuffs them to the headboard of his bed, your eyes meet, you don’t look away and neither does he. He looks down at you.. his eyes pours inside of your soul.

Dark circles beneath his eyes, dry lips, heavy eyelids but still, still handsome as ever. he leans down to kiss your watery eyes, “for my sanity sake” he whispers between the kisses.

He throws his covers over you, and turns the lights off before he leaves and close the door behind him.