#I can’t always do whatever I want
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The problem is I simply don’t do what I don’t want to
#mental health shit#sucks for me because I need to do what I don’t want to#I can’t always do whatever I want#but my brain doesn’t like it#and it’s hard to physically do the thing#pathological avoidance 👎
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Hey guys it’s bandit I still draw
Here’s my stupidest jrwi riptide doodles
Little spoilers ofc…
#bandit's doodles#jrwi riptide#jrwi fanart#jrwi gillion#jrwi chip#jrwi jay#<-wooaahh those aren’t the usual tags what on earth#the waffle duo tags are haunting me#but these guys are so stupid#I hate the albatrio! I hate them!!#they’re so easy to draw stupid shit with#I miss them so much#(I am in the middle of a rewatch)#I need more content of them#(I can draw them doing whatever I want)#I realize how insane this must look to someone who’s never seen riptide#but honestly I’m happy so call me whatever you want#preferably bandit though#pixel art pens do something to me#like I can’t draw something normal with it#it’s always some stupid doodle that makes me laugh and it’s never EVER that funny#it’s just so out of pocket that it makes me go ‘heehee that’s silly I did that’
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Som //Suggestive Sid/Sesame heheee :3c
#do I dare put this in the ff tag?#hm….#Sesame#mm..#yeah whatever everyone enjoy some sexy times in the house#Sidurgu#ff#ffxiv#suggestive#you can’t see anything but they r very much#doin the dirty#but if you DO want to see it….#as I always say heh 1driedpepper on twit 🫡🫡#there’s#there’s a lot there now HEHAHAHAH#I meant to say on the house… when can we edit tags ugh#anyways whenever I draw these two lately I’ve been trying to channel that like#they-are-eating-eachother vibes#good stuff#ok good night snzzzz
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i am not anti sam but i sometimes find myself hating sam because some samgirls are super into bio/gender essentialism whether or not they realize it. sam is a woman and dean is a man and sam is the victim and dean is his abuser like what show are you watching?
#as much as we all like to have fun these are two cis men characters who have roles to play in the narrative they don’t escape#they are both being abused. we find this out *fully* in s14#but it’s always been present. this is the abuse sam and dean winchester show#but some of y’all don’t actually understand abuse! you think abuse is just being mean and yelling#‘sam is a woman because his autonomy is taken away’ your idea of womanhood is fucked up and you should unpack that#if you compare sam to a woman because he’s been SA’d then you are WEIRD. they are both men canonically getting SAd????#like yes dean has some weird stuff about his own gender that he needs to unpack but it’s part of a mask?? like if u genuinely#believe that he seriously 100% believes this stuff then you don’t know his character at all#and yes their relationship is toxic but if you think for one second that there’s a genuine power imbalance then you’re sorely mistaken#dean’s entire identity is based around taking care of sam. sam can do wrong but not enough to be truly held accountable#it doesn’t matter what he does. dean will always protect him and be there and do whatever it takes to save him. he will always forgive him#and sam knows this and uses it to his advantage. he repeatedly goes behind dean’s back and avoids the communication he says is so important#he blames dean for shit that isn’t his fault because he’s there#and no he may not fight dean on stuff but he can. he often doesn’t because he doesn’t want to!#they enable each other and they don’t grow because they can’t because there’s always something else BECAUSE THEY’RE BOTH BEING ABUSED BY GOD#they’re not allowed to take a break. they’re not allowed to slow down or stop or rethink it’s always the end of the world#so yes some of y’all annoy me with the ‘i wish dean was nicer in the midst of his trauma’#shit or saying that therapy fixes everything stuff or whatever#and the fact that so many of y’all use that to treat sam like some fragile white woman who can’t#have an opinion without her husband’s permission is WEIRD like your gender stuff is weird#and just repacked essentialism onto them. idc if you’re trans. unpack that shit cuz your meta is full#of rad fem friendly or adjacent shit if you refuse to talk about gender without using abuse as an argument#because that does not hold up in canon of these two FICTIONAL MEN!!! or in the real world#(edit: most of the stuff i see is by cis women but im saying ‘idc if ur trans’ bc it’s not exclusive to them)#supernatural#sam winchester#dean winchester#wank adjacent#maybe just straight up#fandom wank
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five stages of grief but it’s five stages of social anxiety
#walk with me#this morning i got a bouquet delivered to me at work randomly out of nowhere#the note basically said that i could count of the person even if for just some words of advice or a gesture that could make me laugh or mad#count on the person**#i immediately knew it’s from one of my coworkers and ngl i have a very charged?? relationship with them#in the sense that it’s very intense and we can be laughing joking and teasing or we can be really angry and pissed with each other#it can have very extreme emotions even if we just chill most of the time#idk why i think this whole year i’ve been leaning on them more?? and we started texting more often too#so we’ve been more properly friends lately#and for one i was SO EMBARRASSED for getting flowers bc my coworkers tease the shit out of everyone myself included and i’m not used to#gestures like that so obviously they were on my ass all day about it#and everyone asked about them and it’s EMBARRASSING to get that much attention#(me: i wanna be a singer / also me: can’t stand to be the center of attention)#anyway the person that sent them avoided me yesterday out of nowhere??? idk if they thought i was mad bc i didn’t reply to their texts all#weekend but i literally never reply to anyone and pms was a bitch and i just wanted to be alone#so they didn’t talk to me on monday i was mostly just working listening to music bc i was still emotional whatever#and today i did talk to my other coworkers bc it’s the day when my favorite coworker comes in and i talk to them a lot so i engaged more#and they were still ignoring me and then the flowers came in and we didn’t say a single word to each other today we just texted#they told me they sent them and that ‘they forgot’ what they sent and that it was just meant to be a nice gesture#and that bc they wanted to ‘surprise’ me and make me feel better bc i said i was sad at one point?? idek#i literally just want to tell them I HAD PMS ITS FINE I FEEL SUICIDAL ALL THE TIME and move on#bc now i’m second guessing everything they’re saying bc i thought we were friends and there’s no reason why friends can’t send each other#flowers or whatever but they’ve been avoiding me and then they keep answering my texts really weirdly and i always misinterpret flirting bc#i’m never outright romantic with anyone?? plus we’re FRIENDS i should have no reason to think that’s changed#but they’re being so weird and why get me FLOWERS??? idk get me a chocolate or a coffee i don’t NEED flowers#and then i said it was random to give me flowers out of nowhere and they’re like no it’s serious bro what’s serious??????#your feelings towards me?? or just your will to cheer me up???#if they don’t reply straight up in their next texts i’m gonna flat out say but it was a platonic gesture right???#so yeah i’m overthink getting flowers bc what’s the social code for that and what is one supposed to do when they get flowers from a friend#delivered to their joint workplace where everyone can see them and think they’re from a partner or something
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‘He was double-scamming them!’ ‘No he really is from Chaparral!’ Ummm secret third option. when will the lies end
#dungeons and daddies#hermie unworthy#hermie the unworthy#normal oak swallows garcia#lincoln li wilson#scary marlowe#taylor swift dndads#silver scribbles (art tag)#now I only ever want to draw hermie in oversized jackets#whatever. I’m always drawing him in the worlds most uncomfortable outfits and he deserves it#pretend this looks good ok. if I keep trying to fix it im gonna start from scratch and I can’t do that
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i won’t hold people to the same standards i have on myself in terms of friendship bc everyone shows they care in different ways
#this is a part affirmation and part intro to a rant i need to unleash#but i’ll leave it in the tags here bc it feels safer lol#it’s abt my housemate the other day when we had our last class which is online but our previous classes were in person so as a class we#usually just pull it up on the main computer and broadcast the zoom in the classroom#but on this day the class before this zoom class got out early so lots of people went home early to just watch it on their own zoom or wtvr#so the row i sit in was pretty empty except for me my housemate and our two friends#and usually my housemate sits on my right but she got up and moved to sit on the other side next to our other friend and said nothing#and i didn’t want to say anything bc i was kinda sad/offended even though#her moving seats probably has nothing to do with me and much rather her personal preference i can’t help but think negatively abt myself#also one morning we were both off she went to the smoothie shop and coffee shop and just went to pick up her orders and i felt the same#reaction of like sad/offended bc she didn’t consider me at al like what if i wanted a smoothie too! TF#or coffee even though i don’t drink coffee anymore wtvr#my thoughts on her and my friendship are kinda rocky bc we feel so out of sync#i feel like she’s always in her own world and it’s hard to get through to her and become real friends#it’s whatever not all friendships can be deep and meaningful
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in moments like these we do need to ask ourselves. does it even matter to dinah if she’s the best fighter in the world. is that what motivates her. is she at a point in her life where trying to prove herself and her abilities makes sense. is this not something we’ve already covered.
#text.tb#dinah does not by any means need to prove herself to anyone she’s already done that#if you want to do something interesting with her maybe we can look at the fact that everyone she knows has undergone huge monumental shifts#in their lives and relationships#and she’s the stable one and she’s always the stable one#and what does that Mean to be the one who is reliable and consistent and dependable now#esp when you have a history of being anything but#how do you come to terms with who you are instead of who you’ve been#she can’t just do whatever she wants. sin is back lian is back Ollie is constantly getting into trouble#Mia is re entering the superhero world roy CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD#Connor still hasn’t come out to Ollie. somehow.#and dinah is there. the one everyone loves and trusts and relies on.#what’s that like girl how are you doing#she can’t even necessarily turn to Babs for anything bc Babs is back in the field and also with dick all the time#like do you get what i mean. do you see what I’m saying.#she’s getting older. she HAS to be responsible whether she wants to or not.#the question isn’t what is she capable of but what does she WANT. TOM. !!!!!
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I sobbed (still am). The smile that grew on my face, knowing that since the beginning their fate was always to end up together, was so big that it hurt my cheeks.
I’m so glad that the characters got the ending that they deserved. Thank you, Young Royals. You were a fantastic story. 💜💜
#young royals#young royals netflix#young royals spoilers#yr s3 spoilers#I am so grateful#and to know that the characters still exist somewhere even though that’s the last time we’ll see them#honestly can’t wait for the post-abdication fanfics of Wille getting to do the things that he’s always wanted#and for everyone to live outside of the Hillerska environment in whatever direction that takes them#could not be more thankful
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🌷
#‘If you don't want to answer’ anon#yeah it’s a bit to early to talk about it and knowing this fandom it probably will never be the right time either#i tend to agree with you because I’m that sort of person that stands up for others when I feel there is something wrong going on#i like to confront people and I like to make things very clear#knowing this about myself I always struggle when the others dont do the same#and yeah if you keep Louis out of the equation#as you said he suffered from it too but still took the chance to speak up#(even if his fans are nasty and mostly stupid and i tell that with any possible intention of sounding rude and pretentious)#so you know his words fell a but unheard because that rage and hate kept going#i tend to agree with you on that#but they don’t ever talk or take any position like ever#it’s frustrating because you can’t take actions and try your best to soothe such strong negative emotions#and the fact they didn’t and never do… yeah it’s disappointing but also not really?#cause i don’t expect them too yk?#i think that if they were aware of what was going on now they are now already guilty tripping#i hope they’re taking care now but also i hope this is some sort of wake up call#to stop such waves of criticism and anger towards someone unreasonably#and just show support and do whatever you can to protect humanity#with kindness and respect. not only with words you know
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remember how kuukou lowkey implied the existence of hypdream in the hypster magazine lmao??? i think this should be the next thing to become an actual thing lol
#vee queued to fill the void#instead of rhyme anima s3 and whatever mess they cook#let’s get ichiro isekai’d for an anime season LOL#NOT THAT HES DEAD OR ANYTHING ITS LIKE ARB ITS ALWAYS A DREAM LMAO#ichiro wakes up in a strange new world and is found by jiro and saburo of that world#and is sent out on a mission to defeat the demon king by the queen of this kingdom otome lol#and i can’t decide if the demon king should be rei or samatoki 🤔 probably rei tbh lol#and ichiro has to navigate coming along people who look just like everyone in his world but have nothing to do with him lol#it could have been arb hypquest the anime but i want 3gumi in proper fantasy outfits lol 😭😭😭😭#btw that’s rinmuru in that pic lol from ‘i reincarnated as a slime’ lol#there’s a world where rinmuru didn’t die and become a slime but instead became a rapper LOL
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Me: I only really write fluff and some angst now and again when writing fanfic. I don’t really write anything else. My heart yearns for that sweet sweet hurt comfort where they just end up in love together and don’t need to bone to show that they actually care for one another
Brain: ok sure sure.. But hey! How about- [absolute filth and debauchery]
Me:… Okay maybe I can make an exception
#coalecroux#the ideas I have for these two gays#these two ol queens#Kremy fixin’ to get thrown down big style#Gideon is a service top don’t argue with me#Kremy’s the leader of their outfit right? Kremy’s the one always makin the hard decisions and tellin everyone what to do#and sometimes it gets to be too much for Kremy so#when he and Gid get some alone time he practically throws himself at Gideon like#do whatever it is you want to do. I need my brain turned off for an hour#and Gideon makes sure Kremy can’t think straight for a full hour
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that scene in pacific rim where his brother dies while they’re linked and he describes it as a sudden nothingness that will never leave him. like half of his mind and soul became empty but did not vanish, because he carries that emptiness with him forever now. yeah man. that’s just what having a close sibling is like
#like. being separated from my twin bro so long has done a number on me ngl#and it’s not just the physical distance. there’s some emotional connection missing here too#i know that shit is always fluctuating and changing just as people do and i know i’ll always be able to rely on him to an extent#but god. growing up we were barely even separate people. or at least it feels like it#i can’t stop thinking about this lately. whatever#it’s just that ever since we were babies he’s been able to make me laugh just by Looking at me#not even doing a face. just looking at me. as if he could beam joy at me by will#and there’s something so precious about that and i don’t want to only look back on it fondly from a distance#i’m selfish. i wanna keep him in my pocket forever. i don’t want to go more than a few days without seeing each other ever again#idk. i have to be flexible and open to my own evolution. we are our own people with different lives#but i still want our lives to be a part of each other yknow?#gear diary
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Hhhhighschool au bus ride with trouble from @shepherds-of-haven ;;;; haha
#shepherds of haven#trouble alder#halle beren#if you were wondering why red and the others had such different styles it’s bc this is the missing link#thought I’d try and paint aka no lines! and a background! wild!#anyway in a hs au where their respective single parents are alive#trouble is supported and thriving as the king of social butterflies#she is less feral but also less confident and she pines for him night and day#she is positive he can’t be that thick and he just wants to be friends - every time she tries to ask him out he invites a group#hang in there girl#this will all come to a head where she swears off her feelings for him and finally starts dating the guy from her smart girl class#and trouble who has always kinda liked that tall redhead or whatever suddenly wants to crack his head in the door#-what’s he got that I don’t got?- but all the girls just laugh at him so he sulks#what do you mean you’re going to the library with him what about our Tuesday night taco tradition??? bruh#the vibe as always is energetic extrovert x introverted baddie#teenage trouble punches walls and that’s a shame but also can’t be untrue#here ig he’s like 17 and she’s 18?? they both live in the poorer district of the city and she uses his mum’s laundromat#it’s a fixture in the community and part of the reason he’s so nosy and earnestly involved with everyone#her ears are pierced so much to mimic THE halek prince of whom she has a picture of in her locker#she is overthinking which music to play on their shared earphones even though he’s off with the fairies#this is why AirPods suck like the intimacy of earphones is unparalleled it’s all about the lean#anyway no doubt years of on and off infatuation vs his obliviousness culminates in dating someone else and avoidance#until either his dad shows up out of nowhere and he bangs on her door in the rain OR like her dad does something extra depresso#and she goes to him straight away#then there is a dramatic confession at the school festival or something#or his mum whacks him over the head ig and makes him walk her home when it’s still awkward between them and he can’t stand the weird mood#also they were going to be wearing their school bags but I got tired lmao so they’re on the ground while they commute it’s fine#he ate her up though tbh lmao#as usual the tags are nonsensical there is so much moisturiser in my eyes I’ve been writing reports for hours and have met so many weirdos#her phone is the shiny drampa that rotted my brain enough for me to create her in it’s image when I was shiny hunting
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Women’s self-image is as negative as ever despite the “body positivity” wave of choice feminism. Why?
I think one of the biggest reasons as to why women’s beauty standards and self-image are worse than even is because you can preach about unfair beauty standards all you want and tell women not to make fun of another woman’s looks but you can’t take away the social status and praise that women who are “beautiful” get from society (both men and women). You give them clout and praise them. Something both “body positivity” and “body neutrality” feminists do btw despite all the talk about acceptance.
It’s like saying you don’t support the ethics behind a product and yet still consume and buy it. In this case “beauty” being a luxury achieved via consumerism where women become the products (objects) that other women admire and obsess over. There is a demand so there is a supply PERIOD.
Women might not directly pursue beauty (“I do it for myself”) for men but nonetheless it’s definitely ingrained as a sign of status and that’s enough to cause a negative self-image in women who don’t participate. Men might have been the original perpetrators of installing unrealistic beauty standards for women but the victims (women) have also turned into perpetrators who can’t let go of the misogynistic status symbol of having value from appearances because it’s considered “culture”.
#ic.text#this goes for many spaces and#why I low key have little faith that women will every be free form this hyper fixation on looks#so you support hairy women and healthy eating but look at the own you praise#even if you’re not shit talking may women and saying positive words#it doesn’t go unnoticed how certain women are still valued#men don’t have a these self esteem issues because they are largely INDIFFERENT towards even handsome men#and this is why this whole ‘body positivity”’ from libfems to ‘body neutrality’#from radfems is just fake and two sides of the same coin#as long as you have have a constant steam of praise and clout for women#then women WILL be hella self-aware and conscious about their looks#how can’t they when ‘oh women pretty’ is constantly throw on their faces#that’s why women self monitor and all your ‘ x feature is pretty’ or ‘ have a neutral opinion on X feature because we’re human’ will never#work when you turn around and praise ( so raise the status of and regard) conventionally attractive women who perform femininity#it’s the leading cause as to why women pursue beauty - for praise and status - so of course the incentive will always be there#and to me it makes a lot of sense because if tomorrow there arose a kind of culture within society where attractive men who#really groomed themselves where praised to high heavens#whether women finally having standards for men or men casually valuing super handsome men#( without putting any ‘ugly’ men down for their looks)#a lot of men would subconsciously pick up on the new valored social status and want to peruse it#but they don’t have that culture that surround them AT all ( unlike with wome) so you don’t see men#with the bajillion complexes that women have - men have no incentive#they hardly ever get reminded that handsome men are valuable#the way women are valued by BOTH men and women for their beauty#tldr: both body positity or body neutrality are ineffective if you still give status into women who DO fit the standard#women and girls aren’t blind and will absolutely go for whatever gets them praised when if it’s harmful because the feedback/acceptance/#praise/money etc is WORTH it
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i did not finish a single one of my calculus problems <3 i’m too stupid for this shit <3
#i always hate being in these classes#“oh but you’re such a good student” i dont know how i got here and i dont know what im doing#i wish i could just like ask for everything explained and be able to review for a while bc this is shit from last year#that i know i know how to do but i can’t remember it and esp with the ones that give you new stuff that r supposed to trip you up a bit#my brain genuinely just shuts off seeing it. like theres no critical thinking or problem solving or whatever going on i just see it and go#“oh i don’t recognize this. thats not supposed to work like that. okay guess we’re not doing that”#there isn’t supposed to be a negative in a square rootttt you can’t get a square root out of a negative what do you want me to doooo#sobs#we were breaking my streak today too man
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