I still have a ticket from 2021 when my arm was so bad I couldn't travel to the west coast w my family 😞 I haven't gone on a trip vacation since 2019. !
I think the ticket is expiring this month tho. 😢 since I didn't have any money, there was no way I could use the ticket -- just half ticket bc I was going to join my family mid vacation. So i would have to pay the rest. And pay for things there.
I didn't have money bc I lost many clients during covid. Only now have I gotten a bit more business back. Perhaps enough to do something but the ticket is expiring! 😞
Will I ever be able to travel again?
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Yeah. Man. I'm just sitting here remembering I've been doing this my entire life. I feel like there was a patch I wasn't, part of the teen years, and that's either I've forgotten because trauma orrrr something else but
No wonder I've never felt anchored on this plane. But it doesn't matter, well, no, it matters a lot, but this life is just constantly isolating in how it works so I will keep the talk of not fitting in here and what being weirdly one got in one foot out has done to talking to myself lmfao but... I remember. I remember being in the garden as a really young child and I'm not a young child. I'm this chimaeric fairy-type thing of swirling and bulging colours like a psychedelic faceted-insect-eye's led trip, four or more wings of different types that are again, so ungrounded, so psychedelic, vivid. Not uncertain. Not half-formed. Fully formed, the starbeing in me just barely contained in the shape of the human-pretending-to-be-a-fae it's pretending to be
I remember so much, actually, and it's. it's just weirdly melancholic....? Maybe not melancholic, but it's so sad and I don't know why. Actually. I mean I've been trying to piece it together for like twenty minutes now but... People get a little irritated at me for being very "you don't understand and no one sees me" but like. I have lived an entire life walkinv streets where no one sees me. It's very complicated, there's. mental health stuff in there because of course I've come across a lot of spirits but I have bad issues seeing people as real but like. Man yeah no I am a snail and one part of me can be physically seen but the other has always been on the other side
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i think something kazuha is not prepared for when he goes to liyue / further nations is how welcoming most of them are in comparison to inazuma? especially considering he grew up in ritou where all visitors & imports are processed and there’s so much talk about “outlanders” he was definitely used to that…. animosity? and the clear line drawn between inazuman and not. watching people pass through there as a kid is definitely part of the reason why he had such a desire to get out there and see the world but it also set him up for a lot of pleasant surprises in how easy it actually is to do so, once inazuma is behind him
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