#I can still write cis stuff

[featureenvyproductions]

"Why does everything need to be Gay now it's so shallow to make men attracted to each other when they could be Pure Platonic Friends -"

oops sorry I can't hear you over the sound of me Doing What I Want Forever because I have been watching movies, TV, and animation since the 80s and have watched enough shallow heterosexual romances that would have been stronger as mlm-wlw solidarity friendships to fill the space between stars in a galaxy

[beetrootbug]

can we just... talk about Wednesday? Because I don't know how to feel about it. I watched the show with little expectations in terms of the plot, and I personally ended up enjoying it, though many people have expressed their distain for it. i didn't like everything about it. It was a bit brain numbing i guess, since after watching it my brain was devoid of thought, which is why i was probably able to watch it without question. I usually pick stuff apart whilst i watch it, but i think I was just so determined to finish it I didn't pay as much attention. Final opinions are:

i enjoyed the cartoon-ish nature of the plot. It wasn't that serious and things were solved very quickly. As a writer, I should despise that. I adore writing books with complex plot points that are long winded and explained with care as to not info-dump but to provide the context needed. However, as a person with horrid fucking anxiety, I LOVE stupid stories with shitty easy to solve plots, such as the one present in Wednesday. It's easy to see what's coming and if an episode ends on a cliffhanger, I know for a fact that it will be solve in the next episode. I also tend to judge shows and movies in context to other shows and movies made by the same company. For example, I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed Falcon and the Winter Soldier as I really didn't like the previous marvel movies and show. Of course falcon wasn't the best show in context to other pieces of media outside of marvel, but for a marvel show, it topped my standards. Wednesday is the same for me in terms of Netflix live actions reboots. I don't care what you think of the show Wednesday, you must agree it is better than the other live action reboots. I hate riverdale and i hate Winx fate saga, they are terrible, objectively and subjectively, they aren't good. Wednesday shocked me as it was better than both. This also plays into the other kind of shows that are on the rise: gritty shows with teenagers. Euphoria and the abhorrent Velma show, are disgusting inaccurate depictions of teenagers. Not to say teenagers don't do these things, it's just that it isn't presented correctly. Teens smoke, drink and fuck, we know this, I've heard shit, i've seen shit. But they do it immaturely. Teens are both children and adults. If they do adult things, they do it childishly, and vice versa. Wednesday had a relatively accurate depiction of teenagers (albeit a bit cartoony but it fits with the shows themes). So from that standpoint alone, it blew my expectations out the water.

Now to the stuff i didn't like about the show: the characters. Which is a massive part of the show of course. The characters were easier to stomach when i watched it because i simply liked the actors, but analysing the characters after, yeah, i don't like them that much. I liked Wednesday in the beginning, but towards the end, she wasn't as fun to watch. As far as what she does, she's very fun to watch and has to be the only who holds up well (kinda, i'll explain this later), the rest of the characters are kinda poorly written and become kinda unlikeable. I never thought i would say this, but I don't like Enid as much as I did when i started watching. Not from a "oh she's such a horrible person" but rather "oh, she's been written really poorly". That can be said about all the characters, including Wednesday towards the end. The messages the characters give the the audience is my main gripe with the show. Enid talks about how friends do stuff for friends, even without asking. "That's what friends do". This is stupid, it is. If your friend tells you not to do something, and you do it, you are betraying their trust. You don't know why your friend doesn't want you to do that, and they don't need to tell you, they'll tell you if they want to. You shouldn't assume things that your friend wants, especially if you don't know them well, like Wednesday's relationship with enid and the others. It's not a good message to spread as stuff like this is something autistic people and other nd people struggle with, this makes this line from enid to wednesday, a very nd/autistic coded character, much worse. A seemingly stupid request not to do something could have much deeper roots for an nd person. I got very mad at friend when she intentionally splashed me with water once. I had told her very explicitly not to splash me and explained that i hate getting wet when i'm wearing normal clothes as the texture is horrid and it would make me very cold. She continued to splash and my voice became more and more distressed. She ignored this, cuz duh, a little water never hurt anyone? But she eventually splashed me and i scolded her. I wasn't very cold nor wet, but it meant something else to me. She betrayed something i told her, and i even explained to her before hand why i didn't like it. So yeah it's stupid to most, but now i know i can't trust her with stuff like that, doesn't that seem a bit counterproductive to friendship. Wednesday was framed as a stuck up killjoy for not enjoying the birthday party she explicitly did not want, and yet i understand why. I think this is also a reason i liked this show; i liked wednesday, i related to her (kinda). She's not the Wednesday Addams character that she should be, but if you disconnect her from her roots (which you technically shouldn't since this is an adaptation) she's a fascinating character that could have had a lot more done with her.

So to end off: The plot is objectively bad, but a fun and easy watch. The characters are bad, but the main character is relatable yet lacking (which almost makes me wanna watch the next season because i want to see her expanded upon). She's fun by herself, but as a supposed wednesday addams adaptation, she falls completely flat of that title. Which is why i feel the show would have been better if it wasn't attached to wednesday. If it was just a show about ghouls going to school and the main character was an autistic coded character trying to survive among bullies while a murder mystery was being solved as a background plot, it would have been better. Think of it like a mix between monster high and gravity falls, heck it would have been nicer as a cartoon, though i did enjoy the visuals. I think wednesday should have had more conflicts with characters that actually hate her than just being a bitch to characters try to be nice. It's more forgiving in this context because wednesday is nd coded, but there has been a rise in the "everyone fucking hates me except no one hates me and everyone likes me" character archetype, like in the I am not starfire comic. It would have been nicer to see wednesday make a proper friend and in the mean time get back at actually horrible people, like bullies or bigots instead of people trying (and failing) to help her.

also TYLER AND XAIVIER SHOULD HAVE BEEN BOYFRIE-

[mermaid-lesbian]

why isn't masculinization a popular kink in fanfiction???? like i know femslash is rare in general but god dammit i'm a nonbinary lesbian and i want my girlfriend to call my clit a dick is that so bad. :p

[aroaceleovaldez]

okay last one for the night but. honestly i really hate how the franchise has been using loyalty to Rick as a shield for so long. If Rick was involved in a project or not doesn't matter, especially not anymore.

ReadRiordan and the publishing for the franchise has been using this tactic for ages - they obscure if any writing related to the series wasn't written by Rick unless it's special circumstances. It's near impossible to find out who the ghostwriters are (Stephanie True Peters and Mary-Jane Knight). TSATS was promoted as the first time we got a non-Riordan (Rick or Haley) author working on one of the companion novels despite having seven already existing ghostwritten books in the series. The only reason Mark Oshiro was emphasized so heavily for TSATS was because they also work as a sensitivity reader for topics such as queer identity, and Rick had received backlash in the past for being a Straight Cis Old White Guy repeatedly falling into bad habits (that he hasn't broken out of) with certain characterizations that he kept doubling-down on or retconning into oblivion. The show emphasizes that Rick was involved, but the LA Times article brings into question exactly how much he was involved, and it doesn't even really matter either way. The ReadRiordan site actively avoids putting any writing credits on their articles (or art credits...) or anywhere on their site.

Practically the entire fandom unanimously agrees the musical - which had zero involvement from Rick - is the best adaptation of the series so far, including the TV show. Some of the best writing to come out of the series recently was the stuff ghostwritten by Stephanie True Peters (Camp Half-Blood Confidential, Camp Jupiter Classified, Nine from the Nine Worlds, etc). And yet when promotional stuff is posted about CHB:C, there's clearly coded language used to hide the fact that Rick himself didn't write it. Yes, that's how ghostwriters work, but at this point we should really stop pretending "Rick Riordan" isn't just a pen name for a group of authors like "Erin Hunter" and that Rick is actually writing everything in the series. I can easily look up and see which Animorphs books were ghostwritten, and who those authors were. I can find every "Erin Hunter" easily listed on official sites. And yet most people don't even know the Riordanverse franchise has ghostwriters at all.

And the franchise is still trying to use the "Tio/Uncle Rick" stuff. Author loyalty and marketing parasocial relationships isn't going to save the franchise when the author himself can't hold up his own original themes or even keep basic series bible details straight, and especially not if the editors are barely if at all doing their job. And please at least get a goddamn series bible by this point.

[ceilidho]

This is in no way of hating but i want to know why do you enjoy writing noncon/rape? When I first downloaded tumblr which was couple of months ago i was surprised by the amount of noncon fics here. I eventually came to enjoy them which makes me question myself. Whenever i read a noncon fic and enjoy it i feel like im betraying women who actually went through those traumatic events. Plus I actually don't really like dark romance books? I love cod dead dove and that is mainly because i really love the characters and the authors are so talented. I rambled so much and i hope you don't get this in the wrong way i don't mean to hate AT ALL i love the stuff you write. Maybe i shouldn't think too much and let myself enjoy what im reading lol

first of all, no worries! i wasn't sure about your tone/intentions at first, but by the end i was totally fine with the question.

i actually don't mind talking about this stuff - i just sometimes avoid it on main because i prefer chatting about it privately.

second, i'm no psychologist or sociologist, so i probably won't be able to give you the most satisfactory answer, but i think there are a lot of different reasons. i can only name a few. one thing i should mention right off the bat is that rape fantasies are very normal (and this is true whether you're a survivor of SA or not) and writing/reading fiction can be a safe way to process those thoughts/feelings.

one of prevailing reasons is, of course, that many survivors of SA use noncon/dubcon literature/art as a way of processing their experiences and taking ownership of their trauma.

and look, people are going to go back and forth on this point (i've seen it all before - many people refuse to believe that engaging with noncon lit/art is helpful, and in fairness, it's NOT helpful for everyone because every person is different), but at the end of the day, if a survivor tells you "writing/reading this was helpful in my recovery" then that's that!

additionally, for many women and non-binary folk (i can only speak as a cis woman, but i'm sure this is a shared lived experience across many different people), we're also taught from a very young age to suppress our sexual desires / that being open about our sexuality is morally reprehensible and shameful. and a lot of people carry that shame for years, impacting them well into adulthood. so dubcon/noncon fantasies can be a way of being able to enjoy sexual scenarios where you don't have to be the initiator, thus taking away some of the emotional weight and shame.

plus, at the end of the day (and im sure many people will disagree with this take, it's something that i'm still figuring out myself), there is a kind of weird underlying consent implicit in dark fics. like, you might be reading a fic or novel that's ostensibly noncon, but you're also actively seeking out that literature (hopefully it's not just sprung on you - i do very much agree with tagging to the fullest extent and my lukewarm take is that I think all books, even traditionally published ones, should come with content/trigger warnings too).

there are a medley of reasons why someone might write or read dark fiction/dark romance. again, i'm just one person and i can only speak from my own experience!

i think at the end of the day, the important thing to realize is that fiction is fake, and as long as the writer appropriately tags their work and ensures that the audience is aware of what they're getting into when they start reading, they're not coercing the reader into something they aren't prepared for.

and it's totally fine if you have limits (like, you can read and enjoy dubcon, but not noncon) or can't engage with the material at all, but it's also unfair to say that it reflects someone's real life values - the same way that we don't say that the people who enjoy crime fiction must love murder.

and the last thing i want to say because this got a bit out of hand lol, is that, yes, for some people dark fiction is genuinely harmful, whether or not they're a survivor. it's not for everyone and that's completely fine and i'm aware of that, which is why i agree that you should tag as much as possible (even if you feel like you're overdoing it sometimes), but someone else's discomfort doesn't give them the right to tell you how to process your own emotions/experiences/desires/etc.

as long as no one's getting hurt, there's no issue as far as i'm concerned. and sorry but, no one's getting hurt by reading a fic or a novel unless the author didn't give proper content warnings - if you "forgot" to read the tags or read anyway DESPITE being warned, im sorry but that's life.

[peripaltepsy]

stop feminizing trans men, stop feminizing vulvas, stop feminizing breasts, stop feminizing afab bodies, also since we're here, stop making every depiction of trans men as subs and bottoms who partake in vaginal sex and please keep in mind that a lot of trans men still have dysphoria

I'm not talking about self-feminizing, I want every trans king who loves feminine stuff to know that I'll personally throw a brick on whoever invalidates them

I also want every trans sub/bottom to know they're also the kings this world doesn't deserve but needs

And vaginal sex isn't feminine in itself but if a trans man says it feels feminine to him either as a positive or negative thing I will understand and believe him

And I'm definitely not talking about the art and fiction trans men are doing themselves

What I'm talking about is THAT WE APPARENTLY HAVEN'T GOTTEN OVER THE "PROGRESSIVE" CRYPTO-FEMINIZATION AND INFANTILIZATION OF TRANS MEN?!?!

If you're one of the "trans woman = cock goddess dommy mommy uwu" and "trans man = boy pussy soft bottom submissive mess boy uwu" """"trans allies"""" please change right this instant or I'll also throw a brick at you

At this point, depicting trans men with dicks in your art and fanfics would be infinitely more progressive than writing vaginal sex again

Since btw a good chunk of them want to have penises in the first place. Since btw a good chunk of them DO HAVE PENISES!!!!!!!!!! THEY HAVE ACQUIRED PENISES!!!!!!

Remember that a lot of men actively enjoy and want to use their penises, not only to piss but also TO PENETRATE, and unfortunately a lot of these men were born without one, NOT ONLY THAT BUT ALSO WERE ACTIVELY DENIED OF THEIR MASCULINITY AND INVALIDATED.

Remember that a trans guy is a trans guy for life, he doesn't become cis if he chooses to transition, he doesn't become cis if he uses testosterone for 20 years, he doesn't become cis if he gets a designer cock girthier than 7 cuban cigars wrapped together, he doesn't become cis if every scar fades and not even the gods can tell any difference from a cis man, HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN A MAN BUT HE WILL ALSO ALWAYS BE TRANS

Remember that as much as we advocate for body neutrality and normalization and appreciation of trans bodies, people will still be dysphoric and triggered by certain things that remind them of their oppression and the things they don't have yet but dream of everyday.

Sorry I'm not mentioning intersex trans men or specifically intersex amab trans men, I believe an actual amab t guy would be better to talk about their struggles.

[henrioo]

If requests are still open would you been interested in writing some domestic Mihawk with his husband and their baby? Maybe reader teaches the kid their languages, and Mihawk gets the baby little sword plushies. Idk man but there's no way that man isn't secretly mushy 😭

°•*⁀➷ OUR LITTLE PEACE: MIHAWK

꒰ SYNOPSIS ꒱ : "All Mihawk ever wanted was a peaceful life in his castle. But a perfect peaceful life is not complete without you, his husband, and now his little baby to fill his days with joy."

꒰ WARNINGS ꒱ : Male! Reader (can be cis or trans), MLM, homo relationship, homo marriage, Spoilers to the two years separation! (Zoro and Perona are in the castle and this is post Marineford), the author doesn't know anything about babies and children, almost nothing of Spanish because I couldn't think of one cute dialogue so sorry, not too many mentions of the reader gender like my others stories but still clear the reader is a men, also no mentions of the birth of the baby, no name or appearance to the baby so you can choose if is biology, adopted, imagine what you want.

꒰ WC ꒱ : 1,8k

꒰ NOTES ꒱ : Another story! Another male reader! Hehehehe, I skipped one day of posting but here it's the new one, another ask because I'm really trying to finish them to give more attention to another project and maybe write other stories idk. Thanks for the ask, I love writing family stuff hehehhe, this one was not that good because I'm having some struggles with my writing style but I hope everyone likes it! Byee

You yawned as you tested the milk in your hand, warm but not enough to burn your baby's tongue, perfect. Zoro was in a bad mood in the kitchen eating something, he had been beaten by Mihawk in the last training session and you suspected it was because the pirate was always lost in the castle and opening the doors with great force, which made a huge noise and always it made your baby start crying, irritated when awakened from his sleep. Which also made the older man a little irritated that someone was disturbing his son's sleep.

You made a mental note to try talk to your husband, although to be honest you were uncomfortable too. His son was a needy little boy and when he started crying he would stay like that for hours, until his throat got tired and he went back to sleep, so having to deal with it several times because Zoro kept waking him up was really frustrating.

You walked through the hallways, now with furniture all prepared to be baby proof, no furniture with pointy ends, no sliding rugs, doors in front of the stairs and other changes. At first you thought that Mihawk would be uncomfortable with the changes, to his surprise he took responsibility for changing everything without you even talking about it first. He spent weeks moving furniture, buying or making objects to close doors or round edges, he even made himself available to remove carpets and pictures, even going overboard with the protection.

Your husband has always been a very protective person, even before he was your husband or boyfriend. When he was just flirting, or courting, he was always very concerned about your ntegrity. If you were traveling, would he always give you the best accommodations, extreme climates? He has everything prepared, clothes and even medicine for illnesses, that is if he doesn't change the entire route of the trip to prevent inconvenience.

As you progressed in your relationship, the more protective Mihawk became, he would never be possessive or controlling, he was just genuinely concerned about your comfort and safety and felt it was his obligation as a lover to provide you with the best. Of course he respected you, after all you were also a man and a fighter, you were not weak in any way, it was your strength and intelligence that made Mihawk attract and fall in love with you in the first place. But living a life as a "pirate", an ally of the navy or just someone very strong in the grand line meant that your loved ones and even you were at risk of death at all times. He would never want to lose you and that's why he never let his guard down.

It was no different with his son, he wanted to give him a safe and as normal childhood as possible, thus arriving at this extremely careful point. He was already planning his son's diet and he wasn't even eating so many solid things yet...

"Almost there dear, it's papa, mi hijo, papa" You heard through the half-open door, there was an area of the castle that was closed just for the three of you. Even Zoro and Perona knew to stay away from that part, it being your private wing.

There was the bedroom where you two slept, a common room with the fireplace where you two usually stayed, a bathroom, a library next to the balcony and of course, your son's room. It was almost a complete house, except that it was inside a huge castle with many other rooms.

You stopped watching your husband next to your son, Mihawk was now wearing casual clothes although his shirt was more open, contact with the parents' skin was good for babies, he had told you. The baby laughed in his arms, trying to touch the adult's face with his chubby little hands. He wore thicker baby clothes to protect himself from the cold on the island, as your husband insisted that just the fireplace wasn't enough. The outfit was dark red with bat symbols, Perona had given away saying that the cute baby needed to maintain one parent's vampire reputation.

"Baba!" Your son exclaimed excitedly, laughing again, your husband's affectionate look and smile made your heart melt and your stomach feel strange.

For many, Mihawk was a cruel and merciless man, who could effortlessly cut through ships and defeat thousands of swordsmen at the same time without breaking a sweat. For you? Ah... To you, he was a loving man, a man who always brought gifts from every island he visited, who always had fresh flowers to give you, a man who would kill anyone who dared to offend you for being in a relationship with another man. For you, he was your husband.

"I'll only forgive your terrible pronunciation because you're too cute," Your husband said, shaking his son again.

"I think baba suits you a lot" You smiled entering the room, your husband had been trying to teach Spanish to your little baby for some time. Although this turned out to be a much longer task than he imagined.

"Of course I do" He mocked looking at you smiling, it's not like he could contradict you.

"Papa!" Your baby said excitedly and soon his attention was all on you, his little hands stretched out trying to reach you as quickly as possible.

"Why can he get the pronunciation right with you?" Mihawk looked at you confused and envious as he passed the child to you.

"Because he likes to annoy you" You smiled, rubbing your face with the chubby and soft face of your baby who laughed at the contact.

"Well, he got it out of you then..." Mihawk teased as he adjusted the chair so you were comfortable breastfeeding.

"Of course yes" You sat in the chair and then placed your son next to the bottle, he quickly held the bottle as he began to drink the milk. His eyes soon started to get tired and he relaxed against you, after all it was close to time for him to fall asleep.

"I should order a painting of you two like this, it would be the most beautiful work of art I have ever seen..." He sighed looking at the two of you with love, for him it seemed like a dream, so much peace with the people he loved most.

"He wouldn't be able to stay still for that long" You laughed, your baby used to be quite energetic, which had created some good confusion with you guys losing him in the huge castle.

“It would be worth a try” He chuckled and walked closer to you, caressing your cheek and then placing a kiss on your forehead. "I can put him to bed today, you should take a shower and rest."

"You already did this yesterday, I don't get that tired taking care of him, you practically do everything." You sighed, your husband always wanted to take the weight off your shoulders since he used to travel a lot. However, your son really wasn't that big of a job, now with Perona and Zoro here and the instability of the world government, you doubted that Mihawk would travel anytime soon, so your job was even easier since you shared it with your husband.

"Humpf" He huffed, he always sulked when you didn't allow him to take care of everything.

"Let's put him to bed together... Then after that we'll have some time just for the two of us" You suggested smiling, your baby had now let go of the bottle and was yawning, showing that he was ready to end the day.

"You know how to convince me, don't you?" Mihawk smiled, taking the empty bottle as you stood up with your baby.

"Of course, how do you think I got you to marry me?" You played with him. Soon you were running around the baby's room to rock him, your son clung to you yawning and finishing digesting the warm milk you had provided. Luckily he didn't give much work on that part.

When he had calmed down enough to be practically asleep, Mihawk had already prepared the crib, also carrying some stuffed animals and blankets in case you decided to add something else. You walked over with your baby and gently placed him in the crib, then he stretched out completely and then curled up again in a ball, grabbing a sword plush and messing up the blanket there.

"Sword?" You said looking confused at the plushie of a sword, you didn't remember having one of those. You then asked your husband.

You only met a proud, red-faced Mihawk if you had seen your son doing the most graceful thing possible.

"We have to start familiarizing him as soon as possible," he said, smiling to disguise that he had bought the plush hidden from you.

"Oh yeah? Familiarize our baby with his father's swordsmanship legacy?" You said, crossing your arms and smiling at him, you even wanted to pretend to be angry but you couldn't, not with him being so cute like that.

"Of course, he will be a great swordsman in the future" Mihawk said proudly, you raised your eyebrow.

"Of course, then he's going to beat Roronoa and then come kick his own father's ass, it seems like something my son would do" You said proudly leaving the room, knowing that Mihawk would now be thinking about the fact that one day he would fight seriously with his son, knowing he would never be able to hurt his own child.

It didn't take long for Mihawk to come up behind you with a thoughtful face as he too got ready for bed.

"Well... He's still young, we can't say if he'll actually be a swordsman" He said coughing embarrassedly as he sat next to you on the bed.

"Of course, maybe he's something else" You said smiling knowing you had hit the nail on the head. Mihawk would never be able to seriously fight his own son.

"Of course... Another thing" Mihawk said with flushed cheeks, he also knew that you knew. It was shameful for him to know that his husband knew him so well.

"Yeah, another thing where he doesn't have to kick his dad's ass" You laughed giving him a kiss on the cheek, knowing he would sulk at the idea for a while.

“You really like teasing me…” He sighed as the two of you cuddled together on the bed, ready to spend some time together before bed. And well, you couldn't deny it, your biggest fun was seeing the merciless and cruel Dracule Mihawk, the strongest swordsman in the world, reduced to a soft-hearted, caring husband and father who would do anything for his husband and son. Sometimes love also came with provocation.

[doctorcurdlejr]

Niko!! what'd you think of I saw the tv glow. I finally saw it last night and noticed you posting about it so I wanted to know your thoughts :)

Levi!!! I was JUST wondering what you were thinking about the movie after I saw you posting about it as well... we are so media discussion pilled in this way, it's awesome. ANYWAYS I've had so many thoughts since I first saw it and I've been trying to turn them into something coherent for a little bit now.

Ummm okay I have written 1k+ words about this movie, the suburbs, and escapism via teen TV.... clearly I was dying for somebody to ask this I guess so thank you for indulging me <3

First and foremost, I absolutely loved it! I've seen it twice now and the first time I watched it I got to see Jane Schoenbrun talk about the film right after. I already really liked it from that first watch alone. I found it so deeply relatable to my experiences - both in terms of growing up gay and trans, but where I am now in my 20s trying to navigate adulthood. Hearing what Schoenbrun had to say really cemented my feelings and thoughts about the film.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer was a big influence on the movie (it's why Amber Benson makes a cameo as Johnny Link's mom). Even though I don't have the same emotional link to Buffy since I never watched it, I recognize it as the same type of warmth I experienced growing up with Riverdale. When Owen says he feels like his insides have been scooped out but that he's too afraid to look and have that wrongness everybody knows is there be confirmed, Maddy simply responds "Maybe you're like Isabel. Afraid of what's inside you." Tears forming but not falling, breathing shallowly, I grabbed the paper and pen the theater keeps at the seats for people to order food with and wrote that line down - the slip of paper is still somewhere in my car. Writing it now almost feels lame in its simplicity, but it felt like my insides were being flayed open.

During the director discussion, Schoenbrun talked a little bit about this idea of how truly fucking bizarre it is to grow up in the suburbs. Like, when we think about the pinnacle of normality in American culture, it's the image of middle-class cis-hetero-white suburbia. At the same time, despite this cultural dream of normality, everybody is hyper-aware that the suburbs are one of the least normal things ever. So, the ACTUAL cultural understanding of it is that it's where we go to, like, passively kill ourselves (*George Costanza voice* WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY YOU KNOW!). This idea isn't new, I mean there are so many films and shows about navigating that specific bizarre dissonance from Rebel Without a Cause to Heathers to Twin Peaks. Probably half the pre-teen to teen TV I watched obsessively growing up, stuff like Strange Days at Blake Holsey High, Making Fiends, Truth or Scare, and eventually Riverdale, were never shy about being weird and morbid and saying "yes, the suburbs are exactly as bizarre and lethal in the ways you can already feel in your bones at 13." I Saw the TV Glow does a really good job of keying not only into that mental dissonance but more specifically into how those of us who have felt so intrinsically weird and different and wrong fell back on these shows like they were capable of doing the emotional version of a rescue breath maneuver after being drowned.

In high school, if there were two things about me that any person who even vaguely knew me could list off it was that I watched Riverdale, and I was a lesbian - and I was mocked more for the Riverdale. At that age, I was, without a doubt, the most miserable I have ever felt in my life. I rarely left the house because my family lived in a development that made me want to scratch my skin off when I walked out our front door. Owen didn't leave the house for days, afraid Maddy could somehow force him out. I sobbed constantly and frequently to depressing indie rock on the floor of my closet while hoping my family would just once read the (honest to god) KEEP OUT poster plastered on my door since I didn't have a lock on it. Owen didn't leave his room for days, afraid of what Maddy recognized in him. I didn't go on dates and kept my chest binder shoved to the bottom of my bookbag while wearing dresses that could've come from a how-to-be the perfect 50s housewife manual. Owen didn't leave his bed for days, afraid of Maddy touching his neck and Isabel's dress. I also watched Riverdale with the kind of zeal you see in a Pentecostal who has found God and started speaking in tongues to let you know it. I own a button that says, "Don't Make Me Go Dark Betty On You," I cherish it in a way that is only achieved by knowing exactly how corny and trite it is and then moving straight past that because well actually, and most people wouldn't get this, she's holding back something deeply dark and wild and- and disgusting. something painful yet intrinsically her. but i get it, obviously. or maybe not obviously! hopefully not obviously, but- basically, I'm just saying I get it: the experience of reflection and recognition through the other and all that.

Whatever, the point is that this movie is one big glaring trans allegory about how it sucks dog shit to live in the suburbs, and even at our most repressed we find these little snow globes of actualization in the glow of a tv screen that isn't afraid to show you the world you see. I've seen some people say that, like, in this context accepting or coming into your transness is this monumental death of self, which I get, but I feel there lacks a nuance in that because either way Owen is dying. Unlike Maddy who buries herself alive only to come out renewed, Owen doesn't kill himself upon facing the reality that the world is constructed to keep him miserable and the only way out is to take back what it is that the world wants to keep scooped out of him. Instead he just passively lets it drag him to a much more permanent death. This lack of suicide sucks in the kind of way that forces you to sit in your car on the midnight drive home and think to yourself am I letting myself suffocate because at some point knowing the misery became less scary than admitting I've been capable of doing something about it the whole time?

Clearly, I’ve been enchanted by the film’s narrative and meta-textual language. If you're familiar with it, you can see how Schoenbrun built this movie like a long-form dream episode of a canceled teen show filmed in Vancouver. Lynchian? Yeah, sure. Riverdalesque? THIS we cannot possibly deny. Schoenbrun said they included Amber Benson as an act of healing the inner rage experienced at Tara’s death in Buffy. This is a Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa ending Riverdale with a bisexual polycule after his gay Archie play got ceased-and-desisted type move. There’s probably more I could say about the soundtrack and the visuals, but I’ve hit over 1k words on this, so I’ll leave it at I enjoyed this movie a lot. :)

Maddy is an out lesbian who left town to escape the misery and found it strapped to her ankles. She slinks out, an animal pressed against the gymnasium floor, and says "I'm not telling you anything you don't already know." Owen looks into the camera and narrates. He cuts himself open with a box cutter, fully acknowledges what's there, and the movie ends with his suffocating apology parade for the unremarkable inconvenience of his excruciating suffering. You can be gay and trans, you can know it and you can stop repressing it, but you're not going to stop suffocating until you can find a way to destroy the part of you that truly deeply does want to die, reaching for the comforting euthanasia of normalcy. Stop visiting the dream of the life you want and make it into your reality with the same kind of unrepentant conviction seen in some underfunded but wildly ambitious teen television series. In other words: you must try to survive the ego death of being weird. A weirdo, who doesn't fit in and doesn't want to fit in!

[ezekiel13]

Very important real talk.

How many of the Fallout companions can I transgender? (I will refer to them with the games pronouns for them you chose what flavour of transgender they are. Or I will maybe also.)

- Danse. I mean. He finds out he isn’t who everyone thought he was and is kicked out of his family? Transgender.

- Curie. Your quest for her is to find her a new body so she can live her life to the fullest? Trans.

- MacCready. Im a transmasc. So he is too. That’s all. Also idk he has the vibe?? He’s trans to me no one can take that away

- Preston. I want him to be trans. Because I’m trans. He’s my husband. T4T (well I mean. It’s more T4T4T4T4T etc…)

- Deacon. He was canonically a woman for a period of time. Not cis. For sure.

- Piper. I think she should be trans because she’s cool. So. Trans!! Also. Her name is the kinda thing that she would chose after already making a newspaper. Like “hmmm… changing my name? Piper Wright!! Because I write on paper.”

- X6-88. I feel like he’s not cis. He sees himself as not human so like. Xenogender? Maybe.

- Cait. I don’t know very much about her but she’s super iconic and she seems to have deep rooted issues with her physical form (I may be wrong here i only met her like twice. She doesn’t like helping settlements so I’m kinda stuck on befriending her) So i say she’s trans.

- Hancock. He took a drug which got him exiled from his family and home. I mean. Do I have to say more???

- Strong. Technically super mutants are genderless (they become physically asexual with FEV) and Strong chooses to be he/him’ed so. That’s not very cis.

- Nick Valentine (who I totally didn’t forget about and totally am not editing in). He’s the older trans guy who uses different terms for it but is super important to everyone. Especially that he’s still around.

- Codsworth. Yeah idk anything about him but he’s like kinda British and I know a lot of transgender brits so. Someone who knows stuff about Codsworth please reblog with information about him!!

- Dogmeat. He’s a dog. I think he’d bite transphobes. He’s very small I love him.

- Porter Gage & Old Longfellow (if that’s his name??) I don’t own either DLC so I can’t comment. Someone please tell me why they’re trans

[gonzo-rella]

Headcanons: Being Wallace Wells' Trans Boyfriend

MASTERLIST | AO3 | KO-FI

EDIT: Although this fic was written with a more binary trans reader in mind, I'm hoping this fic will also be suitable for AFAB nonbinary people who are masc or male adjacent, which is where I might be at. I'm currently working dating hcs for Wallace with a nonbinary reader (which will be suitable for both AFAB and AMAB readers).

Relationship(s): Wallace Wells x transmasc!reader (romantic)

Warnings/info: Trans typical stuff, like dysphoria, transphobia etc. etc., sexual remarks, he/him pronouns for reader, headcanons were written in one sitting, when I was feeling not great. (Let me know if I need to add any)

(A/N: I've been reading a lot of Succession fics over the last few days. Last night I read a Roman Roy fic and for some reason it gave me this overpowering wave of dysphoria that I still have yet to fully recover from. Annoyingly, I have yet to actually watch Succession so this could have been avoided; I just think Kieran Culkin's hot and very gender so I couldn't resist pretending that someone with his face was my boyfriend. Reading about Roman made me think 'oh shit. Maybe I'm a flawed and pathetic little guy on the inside. But I just look like a woman who likes to kiss women and everyone treats me like a girl and uses my girl name and girl pronouns and that feels super gross and makes me want to live in a hole. Now I'm going to feel bad about that for the next few days.' So, yeah, I'm having another transmasc crisis that I'm using fanfiction to get me through. I figured Kieran Culkin started this, so I might as well write something featuring a character of his that I can actually write for. This is a self-indulgent and self-explorative treat for myself, but I hope that transmasc readers can enjoy this, too. If you'd like more Wallace stuff, trans stuff or Wallace AND trans stuff, feel free to send in a request. I really want to provide more fics for transmasc readers because you guys are super underrepresented (and, y'know, Papa Gonzo-rella wants to explore his gender a little more). Also, I swear that I will get around to watching Succession, and I more than likely will end up writing for it when I do.)

Respectfully, Wallace does not give a shit that you’re trans.

Of course, he doesn’t flat-out ignore it, because it’s part of who you are, but it isn’t an obstacle in your relationship by any means, and it doesn’t bother him in the slightest.

If you’re feeling dysphoric and/or otherwise insecure about yourself, he’ll pinch your cheeks and tell you how handsome and sexy you are.

If you’re feeling especially bad, like ‘not getting out of bed and hiding from the world’ bad, he’ll keep you company and say what he can to reassure you.

Being mushy and sincere truly isn’t his thing, so whatever he says will sound either slightly insensitive (but still pretty sensitive as far as Wallace goes), facetious or like he wants you to get over how you’re feeling so he can fuck you.

But, he genuinely doesn’t want you to feel bad and you can tell he cares, because otherwise he wouldn’t be there for you when you're feeling your worst.

Wallace is very affirming, but in his own Wallace way.

He lovingly refers to you as his lameass boyfriend.

If Scott ever compliments you about anything, Wallace will call him gay.

He will shout ‘gay’, like the Senor Chang meme.

"Hey, man, I like your shirt-"

"Ha, Scott's gay!"

"I-I'm not gay! I just like his shirt."

"What's wrong with being gay, Scott?"

"Nothing! There's nothing wrong with being gay!"

"You really need to work on your internalised homophobia, Scott. To think, my gay lover and I share a bed with a bigot."

If you’re doing anything that he knows will make you dysphoric or exacerbate your dysphoria (for example, scrolling through social media and looking at cis dudes that give you gender envy) he’ll shut it down.

Using the aforementioned example, he’ll snatch your phone off you and close the app, saying: “Nope. Make better decisions.”

And, while you’d initially be annoyed at him for grabbing your phone, you will appreciate it in the long run.

If you have testosterone shots but you’re not a fan of doing them yourself, he’ll begrudgingly help you with them.

He will make a very Wallace comment, though

“Stabbing? I didn’t know you were that kinky.”

If anyone’s a dick to you about being trans, Wallace is always ready to go with a snide remark about the other person, because of all the things you could possibly mock his lameass boyfriend for, being trans is at the bottom of that list.

(He should know, as the person who makes fun of you the most.)

Also, he cares about you very, very much and he doesn't want people being transphobic to his boyfriend.

If you’re cool with it, he will make trans jokes, but nothing ‘attack helicopter’ or ‘attack helicopter’ adjacent, because he’s too clever for that and he can come up with better material that isn’t just derivative, transphobic garbage.

If you get your period and it makes you at all dysphoric, be prepared for this exchange:

“Don’t worry. Scott pissed blood last month and cried about it and he’s still a man.”

“Did-did he go to the doctor?”

“I don’t know. He seems fine now, though.”

If you still have boobs and don’t mind them being touched or otherwise acknowledged, he will use them like a pillow.

If you decide to get top surgery, he will make the following request:

“Well, if you’re not using them, can I have them? I need a pillow that Scott won’t steal. And, he wouldn’t steal your tits, because he knows I’d call him gay for it.”

“Why are you like this, Wallace?”

“Selfish.”

Being trans doesn’t make your relationship much different from any of Wallace’s other relationships.

You’re just, for better or worse, another one of Wallace’s boyfriends.

[heavymilkers]

💙🤍💙welcome to my blog💙🤍💙

im a boi who happens to have these huge milkers absolute massive mammeries the most boobily breasted fat tits youve ever seen

im a submissive slut looking to get my tight boipussy bred, my giant milkers owned, and my body turned into a cumdump

💙 dms and askbox are open (askbox preferred, anon is on!) 💙

🤍please read through this post before messaging🤍

💙🤍💙about💙🤍💙

💙 age: 27

💙 sexuality: bisexual/pansexual and poly

💙 gender: boi/enby/nonbinary

💙 pronouns: they/them

💙 position: bottom

💙 role: submissive

💙🤍💙my kink list💙🤍💙

❌ if you message me about anything in the No category i will not respond

⚠️ be cautious when messaging about things in the maybe category, and ask about specifics

❔ if you dont see something here, ask first!

also feel free to add me on flist and write in my guestbook! im not planning on being super active there but i might add some stuff to the gallery that i wouldnt be able to post on tumblr

💙🤍💙ways to refer to me💙🤍💙

✔️ slut, whore, bitch, cow, cuntboi(/y), pussyboi(/y), tittyboi(/y), etc., "big titty goth girlfriend" is fine, "prince" and "princess" are both fine, will add more...

❌ miss, girl, lady, woman, she/her, "girlfriend" by itself, will add more...

if you refer to me in a way i dont like i will not respond. if you consistently refer to me in ways i dont like i will block you

💙🤍💙do not interact💙🤍💙

❌ minors

❌ straight cis men

❌ straight cis women

❔ straight non-cis people and cis people who aren't straight are fine

💙🤍💙faq💙🤍💙

🤍 Q: can i see an uncensored version of a picture? 💙 A: sorry but the versions of photos i post on my blog are the only versions im comfortable with sharing! please respect this 💗

🤍 Q: can i send a picture/video of myself to you? 💙A: im flattered but im not interested. i would prefer you just describe yourself and what youre doing through text. alternatively, if you post pictures of yourself publicly i might stumble upon it 💗

🤍 Q: can we meet up irl/where do you live? 💙A: sorry, im just an anonymous online slut 💗

more to come...

💙🤍💙thank you💙🤍💙

thank you for reading! please respect my boundaries and understand that i might not be comfortable responding to every message.

i get a lot of messages everyday, and im not always able to respond to everyone. please dont take this as a sign of me ignoring you or not being into what youre saying, i still read every message even if i dont respond. feel free to message me again and again 💙

[dropoutconfessions]

you will really will just uncritically publish the most transmisogynistic slop, but whenever someone speaks out about the transmisogyny in the fandom and creative side you always gotta give a note. and i know youre a trans woman, which makes it worse tbh

okay so i'm lowkey oblivious, so just wondering if you'd link me to which posts you're referring to where people actively say smth transphobic and i don't respond to it. appreciate it in advance

and yeah i give notes. you wanna tell me a detail about a character's star sign is transphobic? yeah sure i'm gonna remind you that there's a running trend where ally confuses the hell out of people with spiritualism n stuff (see mirror work from the mice & murder adventuring party) and brennan finally getting to turn the tables might be a thing he chooses to do.

you wanna tell me that a bunch of cis people should not parody harry potter? i'm going to remind you erika is trans and therefore not cis, and that people do not owe you their identities to earn your permission to create art. rabid fans spend enough time badgering creators and forcing them to out themselves and then 3 months later y'all say how awful it is that happened to them, still spouting the same "only this sexual/gender identity can write about this, or play this character, or do this, or do that" bullshit

you wanna tell me that mismag 2 shouldn't happen because harry potter parodies are bad (regarding posts that were sent in before it started airing)? i'm going to remind you that we don't know if it was going to be one given that the holiday special and live show were drifting away from said vibe.

i always cite my sources when people accuse me of this shit and i am waiting for a single on of y'all to do the same. so, here we are. it's your move. i can wait. i'm a patient woman.

and just letting the rest of y'all know, the next person to send in accusations calling me a transphobe without the metal to back it up, is getting blocked. i am tired of your shit. cite your fucking sources, it's not that hard, you can't just say random bullshit, we don't do witchhunts here.

[touchoffleece]

Apology in Advance for the probable incoming Sulemio v Destiel Poll posts.

There are layers to why the dumb ship poll has me feeling so passionate, some are: -Sulemio more or less checked off a Bucket List Want I thought I would die before seeing it become a reality. That being: a Sapphic Anime couple where the main focus and story doesn't revolve around discovering or accepting their sexuality and showing it can be a successful story public perception wise and money wise (G Witch has some of that self discovery stuff but it's like a D or E level plot). And having it so the gay relationship can't be perceived away as besties or sisterhood or with a Bury Your Gays end. -wlw/GL ships constantly getting overshadowed by mlm ships or get played down to hype up mlm ships because "there can only be 1 lgbtqi+ ship" mentality in fandoms. -Sulemio fandom was vibing and more or less quiet until this rewoke us up here on Tumblr. We are all once again speaking and writing deep analytical lengthy posts about how deep, well written and portrayed the love between both characters were not only in subtext but throughly explicit sentences in dialogue or actions of Suletta and Miorine, and the world around them. I am very happy to join in and revisit the awesomeness that their story was since I can't truly replicate the journey that was watching their story as it developed in real time. (Shout out to my 2 het cis male acquaintances who nagged me to give G Witch a shot back when only ep 0 and 1 were out you guys freaking amazing. Bros gave me unforgettable memories.) -But a big one I see not getting talked about a lot is how this match up is giving a big and much needed reality check to western-media-live-action-only-consumers/fans that: Just because something is an animation it does not make that type of art/storytelling/show/whatever you want to call it inferior to live action. A few years back I saw so many west live action tv fans shit endlessly and mercilessly on Magical Girl Utena because of a similar ship poll where it had come down to live action fandom ship vs canon anime ship. (iykyk, I don't want to restart that shit up again since it hurt a lot to watch as someone who liked the ship that was leading but didn't watch Utena-I'm too weak for that hurt- see the show and its contribution towards actual wlw/gl representation get shit on) A lot of the criticisms and punchlines of statements were mocking people for getting attached to cartoons as "grown ass adults"; a criticism any animation enjoyer probably knows all too well. Post so many animation shows in western streaming sites get cancelled or be erased and locked behind vaults because the CEOs think there is no fanbase or value in creating animation, this sentiment more towards animated shows with depth in their stories. I think back to that poll and the ensuing shit show. To think about that back then and see a reflection of that situation with the Ship (Sulemio) that has been stated to be inspired by the ship from Utena (Utenanthy) that was shat on so much by similar media consumers back then who perceived and said animation is a lesser form of storytelling-after seeing so many animation shows I enjoyed get cancelled because of this same sentiment from people thinking no adult wants animation as entertainment- to see Sulemio beat "the greater known" ship from a western live action media show that didn't even want the gay representation associated with itself, it feels like properly bandaging a seeping wound that you were letting "dry out". This all still feels like ship war with ships and fandoms that shouldn't have reason to beef, but the catharsis of seeing such a: powerful, moving, and overall amazing story that is Gundam the Witch from Mercury (free on Youtube to watch btw) and Sulemio's love story get recognized when it still feels like animation as a storytelling device gets looked down upon and has partially been erased, is making me cautiously optimistic that maybe in a few years we can get our amazing in depth animated shows that got taken away because animated storytelling is "just for kids" or "isn't good enough".

[olderthannetfic]

Update on the Bridgerton stuff: the online fandom is so homophobic and horrible, and the mods of stuff like the main subreddit refuse to do anything about it (but will remove comments by people upset about the homophobia for "generalizing") that LGBTQ+ fans have had to make their own spaces. There's a whole separate subreddit that bans homophobia called r/bridgertonlgbt, and of course the ones from the main one keep trying to get it banned with false reports by accusing them of "heterophobia" and "doxxing" (re: complaining about their homophobic comments in their own spaces). Assholes who are mad about them making a straight romance from the books lesbian in the show are also doing petitions and flooding like every Instagram post including one by the original author about how she was initially skeptical about such a big change from her books but she's had lots of talks with the showrunners and she trusts them, and has always supported greater diversity in the series. People keep misusing that stupid fucking George R.R. Martin quote (about how creators these days don't do anything original but just warp other people's existing works) when he himself has condemned "the show must be exactly like the books" fan attitudes, especially the racist tantrums around House of the Dragon casting a couple years ago. And on a post by the author HERSELF where she explains why she gave the go-ahead, supports these changes, and condemns homophobia in the fandom! How is she "warping" her own work???

I've heard about this all secondhand from my friend and it just makes me so glad I don't go on Insta or Reddit and instead keep my fandom activities to Tumblr or AO3. Where for all the drama over other things, at least this kind of rancid homophobia you get in spaces where everyone is cis and straight feels entitled to only ever consume straight and cis romance stories (they'll claim they "are okay with gay characters but new ones!" but their example is always like a side character who has an unhappy ending, can you really not get why queer fans are not satisfied with that?) at least that's not so much a thing here. Instead I'll be happily writing Francesca/Michaela and Benedict/male characters slash and ignoring and blocking the haters. And remembering that that show has way more fans than use social media and everyone involved is continuing to refuse to listen to the loud idiots online. Like everyone I talk to about it who isn't super online, most of whom are straight women, think the change is really cool and can't wait to see what they do with it. Some of them have read the books, but most have not.

But god, it just seems like toxicity from top to bottom over there. I really wish a lot of the straight women fans would just admit they don't like a lesbian romance because there's no one for them to find hot. And maybe consider why it's not a big fucking ask to "find something relatable" in gay romances, like gay people have had to do with straight ones for all time. Why must we continue doing that but you're entitled to whatever you want all the time? It's just so weird to see these attitudes still and in fandom in 2024!

--

These attitudes never went away.

On the fanfic side of things, the slashers just happen to have built the currently-popular platform, so the haters have to deal.

[vncannyvalleygrrl]

My Masterlist :D

request/question status: closed, questions still open tho

check me out on my ao3

Smiling Friends:

Pim Headcanons (general, dating, nsfw)

Charlie Headcanons (general, dating, nsfw)

Glep Headcanons (general)

Allan Headcanons (general, dating, nsfw)

Allan x Shy Reader Hcs (dating, small nsfw)

Allan x Demon Reader Hcs (general, dating, nsfw)

Allan x Reader w/ an Anxiety disorder (general, dating)

Pim/Charlie x Shy Janitor Reader (separate hcs, general and dating)

Allan x Considerate Reader (general, dating, nsfw)

Charlie x Bratty Male Reader (general, nsfw)

Clingy Allan/Clingy Charlie x Reader (dating only)

Pim x Tall/Bubbly Reader (general, dating)

Allan x Reader w/ vision problems (coming soon!)

Allan x Reader w/ a degradation kink (coming soon!)

Other:

Birchum x Karponzi (mdni)

fandoms i write for and rules for requests below the cut!

Fandoms I will write for:

Smiling friends

YOLO Crystal Fantasy/Silver Destiny

Team Fortress 2

Gravity Falls

Read Dead Redemption 2 (will only write for micah if someone's beating the shit out of him)

Spider-Man ITSV/ATSP

Some Marvel Francises (Deadpool, Venom, etc)

Elder Scrolls 3-5 (still playing through morrowind)

I have no mouth and I must scream (IHNMAIMS)

Will add more once I remember to :p

Request Rules:

No asking me for money??? I got a request asking for $300+ and like... I write fan fiction on Tumblr. What makes you think I have money.

SFW and NSFW are allowed!

I will happily write platonic stuff I go crazy over that

Headcanons and one shots allowed (need a topic/scenario to go off of)

I can write for readers who have certain conditions like autism or schizophrenia but I'm sorry if I get any details about it wrong, all I ask is that you specify what you personally experience with the condition you would like me to mention. I'll be more accurate if it's something I actually have.

I can write for cis, trans, non-binary, and intersex readers!

I can also write for any flavor of sexuality!

For NSFW, I won't touch topics about fetishes. I don't want to kink shame but I am shaming this time. BDSM, public, etc don't count, I'm talking stuff like scat.

I can touch on sensitive topics like self harm, eating disorders, addictions, etc, but only if it's about someone trying to RECOVER from them. I do not support someone hurting themselves in any way.

For the love of GOD no illegal requests. I will not write about someone under 18 or an animal if it includes dating and/or NSFW. I would rather shit in my hands and clap than write something that degenerate.

No yandere/dere stuff. I'm sorry but it is so corny to me.

Just use common sense pls 🙏

[james-is-here]

Okay so I didn't send you this request before because i thought you were cis and wouldn't understand period shit but I saw your post about having a uterus and hating it (fucking same) and um j was wondering if you'd be comfortable with writing ftm!reader distancing himself from channie because he's on his period and feels very dysphoria and although he's out to chan this is his first period around him that made him feel so fucking dysphoric and just distances himself and then channies finally gets a hold of him and they talk and reader breaks down and shit and uts like a best friends to loves stuff and just hurt/comfort

But jamie if youre not comfortable with this idea or it'd hive you heavy thoughts then please don't do it yeah? I don't want you to get sad or feel bad about anything🫂🫂❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Be safe and take care please🫂❤️‍🩹

This was actually kinda therapeutic to write 😊 I hope it's okay 😅

The studio was flooded with the harsh glow of fluorescent lighting, casting a stark brightness that illuminated every corner of the room. Its piercing beams cut through the air, creating sharp contrasts and casting deep shadows. The light poured down on the papers and laptop resting on the desk, their surfaces gleaming under the intense glow.

You, a fairly recently hired producer, sat engrossed in your work at your desk, your attention shifting back and forth between the laptop screen and your contemplations.

Every now and then, you absently touched your chest, a subconscious gesture you've habited stemming from the top surgery you had undergone a few months earlier, still beyond euphoric that you were able to get such a surgery.

Usually, you find comfort in your musical endeavors, but today was different. A sense of unease and discomfort that you hadn't experienced since before you got your surgery, a painful reminder of your past. The dysphoria weighed heavily on you, with each stabbing tightness in your abdomen you felt more and more insecure and hollow, clouding your focus and making it challenging to concentrate.

The door swung open and Chan, the vibrant leader of Stray Kids, entered with his characteristic enthusiasm, his face adorned with a beaming smile. "Hey there! Can I borrow your talents on this track? I feel like there's something missing and need another listener and the others are busy." He said with a smile, presenting a USB stick.

You managed a weak smile in return as you accepted the USB from Chan. "Sure." You said, inserting the drive into your laptop. Chan furrowed his brow as he picked up on the lack of enthusiasm in your voice. "You okay, mate?"

Taking a deep breath, you quickly replied with a short exhale, "Yeah, just feeling tired," as you turned your attention back to your laptop. "But don't worry, I'll give this a listen and give it back with my thoughts."

During the following days, you gradually withdrew from your friends and colleagues. You began to dismiss invites to eat with the others in Chan’s group, steer clear of conversations with others, and immerse yourself in your work. Managing the physical discomfort of your period, along with the emotional burden of dysphoria, made it increasingly challenging for you to interact with others, including your dear friend Chan.

With each passing day, Chan became increasingly worried. One day, he reached a breaking point, annoyed with being ignored, and took action. He found you in the studio usually reside in, completely immersed in the music with closed eyes and headphones on. Chan quietly entered the room and closed the door behind him.

"Mn," he called softly, but with a firmness that demanded attention. Your eyes snapped open, and you quickly removed your headset, feeling a surge of surprise, "Chan? Hey, what brings you here?"

"We need to talk," Chan said, his voice leaving no room for argument. "You've been avoiding us, more me, for days. What's going on?"

You averted his gaze, wrapping your arms around yourself. "It's nothing. I'm just... dealing with some personal issues."

Chan moved closer, his furrowed brow revealing his growing concern. "Mn, we've faced so much together since we met. You know you can talk to me so why are you pushing me away?”

Your eyes filled with tears as you felt the weight of your emotions growing. "It's just... I'm on my period, Chan. It's the first time since we've been friends that it's happened, and I just feel so...weak and ashamed and…not myself. I didn't know how to handle it around you."

Chan's eyes widened in surprise as he absorbed the unexpected revelation. For a brief moment, a wave of hurt washed over his features, his brow furrowing in confusion and pain. "So you thought it'd be best to avoid me? Why didn't you just tell me?" he asked, his voice tinged with a mix of disbelief and hurt. "Do you not trust me enough?”

You flinched at the hurt in Chan's voice, your tears spilling over. "I didn't want to be a burden! I-I d-didn't want you to s-see me like this. S-see me so weak a-and tired a-and in pain. I already felt like a burden before but I didn't want to make it worse…”

As Chan listened, he noticed you withdrawing into yourself, folding your arms tightly around your body, and curling into yourself as if seeking to vanish. In that moment, Chan's anger dissipated and regret for snapping took over. Slowly, Chan approached you, pulling you up out of your chair, and embracing you tightly as he placed his chin on top of your head.

"Hey, it's okay," Chan whispered, his voice gentle. "I'm here for you, Mn, you're never a burden. I'm sorry for snapping, that wasn't right for me to get upset. We'll get through this together, okay? The rest of the week, I'll be by your side."

Mn nodded against Chan's chest, his body shaking with sobs. "Thank you, Chan," he whispered.

In the days that came after, You faced pain and a few tears, but Chan's support helped you start to regain your confidence and feel more like yourself. Chan provided solace through small acts of kindness, offering comforting beverages, sharing lighthearted jokes, and being a constant presence. As the week drew to a close, you found that your despair had lessened, and you were filled with a deep sense of thankfulness and admiration for Chan, emotions that were difficult to express fully in words.

As the evening enveloped them in the studio, the sound of the final mix filled the air. You turned to Chan with a gentle smile, "I don't think I could’ve made it through this week without you. I felt so shitty before…guess I had nothing to worry about

Chan smiled back, his eyes twinkling. "That's what friends are for, right?"

Without thinking, you leaned forward in your chair and press your lips to his. The moment felt like it stretched on forever before your eyes widened in shock at your own actions. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean-"

But Chan quieted your rambles with a tender kiss, pulling you closer again. When he eventually pulled back, Chan leaned his forehead against yours. “Don’t be, I’ve wanted to do that for a while now." He leaves another peck to your lips and pulls back with a smile, raising his right hand to cradle your face, his internal coo becoming a soft giggle when you lean into his touch. "I'm so glad to see you back to your cheerful self, Mn."

You smiled, feeling a sense of belonging and acceptance that you've never experienced before. "Thank you, Channie…for everything."

Chan moved the both of you to the couch for a "Very Necessary Cuddle Session" he said in a very serious tone. As you two laid on the couch together, the music you helped Chan fix playing softly in the background, you knew that no matter what challenges came your way, you had a friend and more who would stand by and help you through it all.