#I can still alter my course. I can still figure out a different place to go. I can still figure out how to get there

[inksandpensblog]

#some people legit just do not have the opportunity to do these things as teenagers. or even if they do it's ok to want to feel safe first

when someone asks you why you haven't had any of the "normal stereotypical" experiences a young person should apparently have and you just go i don't know what to tell you i just haven't and for the most part you don't care but then the atmosphere immediately shifts and you're being pitied. and most people don't really give a fuck right, they're minding their business, but idk i've had interactions with people who do bring it up in subtle ways and treat you as if you're some innocent little being, like oh cover your ears you poor little thing. so you leave and isolate yourself, but then it's like how am i going to have those experiences if i isolate myself? but then when you do try people shame you for it. and this is the way people act when it comes to soooo many things in life. you're like that and we want you to be like this, but we're gonna laugh at your attempts if that's okay?

[starburstsystem]

Going over did criteria again because I keep having identity crisises. I was scrolling tik Tok for resources and hearing other people's experiences and have come to a conclusion;

I live in a constant, varying level of dissociation in my day to day life that heavily impacts my memory, mental health, and overall experience of living. I find it extremely difficult to be present in a moment, especially in conversations or social events. I am constantly checking out and scatter brained and feeling like I lose myself, like I'm not really connected to this world.

That being said, the second main indicator of did is an alternative state of self, or alters. This is the part that confuses me so much.

Dissociation of varying degrees is a symptom of many things, like anxiety or ptsd, both of which I am diagnosed with. My childhood trauma has really fucked up the rest of my life.

Other than that, I need to look more into signs of alters, or research a breakdown of what an alter actually is, so I can figure out if that's what I've been experiencing or not. Right now I feel like I have no idea who I am, what I really like, what my style is, I feel too complex to be just one person. Which, I can feel this way and still be a singlet, of course. I think I'm confused on whether what I was doing was separating parts of my being to cope, or if they were there in the first place. What are these rushes of feeling coming over me, why don't I feel at home in my own body? Every time I think too hard about someone else being in my head, sharing a body with a separate identity of myself, I get this rush of fear and some sort of presence, like there's someone else with me, listening to my thoughts, or that I can hear their thought process too.

Another thing that confuses me is the whole hearing voices thing. Definitely I know that some systems hear their headmates voices in their head loud and clear, while others communicate mainly through feelings or abstract thoughts and vibes. I don't think ive ever heard someone else's voice in my head, but I have sensed thoughts that didn't feel like my own, felt things for seemingly no reason.

I'm exhausted of feeling so fake. I hate the idea that I'm a fraud, playing a big game of make pretend just to feel included or different or whatever. I wish my experience was more typical so it would be easier to recognize. I just want to understand myself. I want to know why I can't figure out what name suits me and stick with it, why I never feel comfortable in my own skin, why I love a shirt I have one day and hate it the next, why my make up and music taste differs so sporadically, etc etc.

[acotarharlot]

Surprises

Summery: Reader and Azriel find out they’re expecting.

~

It had been weeks by that point. You had been feeling nauseous and fatigued. Thinking the cause had been overworking and stress. Rebuilding the city and fixing what the war had damaged. Nothing was more important to you. Nearly losing everything that had ever mattered. The grip that Azriel had over you. You felt like you could never relax. Knowing how close, just how very close, everyone was to ceasing existence. Or just how badly the war could have gone. While everyone had come out, you still felt that loss. The loss of what could have been. It could be trauma, no matter. You wouldn’t allow yourself to come that close. That’s why you hadn’t shared any of what you had been going through.

Any smell of food you had loved, made you unfavourably Ill. And you had been exhausted. It had to of been the pressure and exertion. Everyone was coping like that though. You knew Rhysand was working double time, and same with the rest of the inner circle. Taking a break was not an option - knowing that someone else would have to pick up your slack. Azriel had gotten up early that morning just as he usually did. However you certainly were not a morning riser. And even more so not recently.

It wasn’t like a sickness you had had before. No sniffly nose, no cough. But you knew you needed to cut down somewhere, and training was the better option. Of course Az had something to say about it. You promised you would be back next week. You were just going to see Madja. Fingers crossed and praying, you had hoped she would have some magic tonic that would cure you. The idea of being the weaker link was enough to furrow your brows. The Shadowsinger had no idea of your struggles. You tried your best to block it from trailing down the bond. Just this week you had vomited a couple of times, thankful Az wasn’t there to witness. Not that you were embarrassed. But he had missions and If his head was in the wrong place, he was certain to get injured. And you hadn’t want to be the cause. Hoping you could have this figured out before he found out. While he was the most kind hearted and giving mate. He had a low self esteem. His childhood deeply affected how he processed and reacted in situations and you knew he would take it personally.

So you sat patiently, in the waiting room, of the best healer in all of velaris. You tried not to fidget, but you couldn’t help pick at the skin around your nails. Frankly you were nervous. Irrationalising the outcome of your visit. What if something really was wrong? How would you cope? Would she be able to help? So deep in thought about all of the horrible illness that you could potentially have, until your name was called. You realised it was your turn to go in. Stumbling a little you searched around the familiar room. She had a variety of subtle herbs and plants. Tonics and medicines. Finally settling on Madja’s face. Taking in her wrinkles and kind eyes, She smiles.

“What can I do for you today Y\N?” Madja could decipher the difference about you. You had a glow enthralling all of your features. Even your scent had started to alter.

Hesitantly you couldn’t help but look around the room, trying to find the right words to explain your situation.

Clearing your throat “I’ve been experiencing symptoms lately, one’s that are affecting my ability to do my job. I just feel so tired. And sick. I feel like I can’t keep anything down.” You exclaimed. You felt frustrated at your body.

Looking at her face you can’t help but be confused at her still smiling. Madja read your expression immediately. Which preempted her to explain.

“My dear, I think you’re pregnant”

The words hit you like a ton of bricks. You had clarity now over your symptoms, but the diagnosis came with it’s own set of new problems. Your mind was telling you this was a bad time but your heart was swelling with love. Your mother had been tender hearted, giving and nurturing. You wanted to be a mother like that. The issue was that it wasn’t just you who the decision came down to. Of course no matter what, you would be the parent any child deserved. Anxiety crippled your ability to think. You realised you hadn’t physically reacted to the discovery. Madja was still looking at you.

“I…i…” you stuttered. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Of course I’ll have to do some tests Y/N, but I’ve been around long enough to know a pregnant fae when I see one.”

Pregnant. That was the only word spinning through your mind. It had only taken another 15 minutes for Madja to complete her tests and confirm the diagnosis. Thanking her you bid your goodbye. As you were departing she grabbed your wrist, turning to her - she cut you off before any words of yours formed.

“A baby is a very special thing, do well to be happy. Once in a lifetime are we blessed with such pure things.” Nodding your head, you smiled.

Feeling thankful for the fresh air outside of the medical building. You hoped you hadn’t let any of your emotion betray you by shocking down the bond. You wanted to tell Azriel. As a couple you hadn’t ever discussed having a family before. He was your only family, and if he didn’t want this - with you. The hole forming in your heart was enough for you to understand what would happen. At first you were worried but the more you thought as you walked, about a baby. The more you wanted it. You had so much love to give. But Azriel had so many things, His job, our enemies. Just the thought of someone harming your baby made your skin brush cold. The risk was significant. The war made you realise how vulnerable you truely were, how hard you fought and still couldn’t protect the people closest to you. When Cas had been sliced open, Azriels wings wounded. Rhysand literally dying, just as Amren had sacrificed herself. That was what the future held for you. Of course you suffered greatly during the war, encountering your own set of injuries. If you had a child, you couldn’t be so reckless anymore. You weren’t sure if that’s the fate you wanted for a baby.

That’s if Azriel wanted to have a part in it.

Just the uncertainty of his reaction. You sat down on a park bench. How where you even going to tell him? You had to think of plan B. Not just yet you thought. You had to be fair and give him the choice.

Looking at all the people, you saw them laughing. Couples, friends, families. You wanted that. But was it selfish? Of course you didn’t plan to get pregnant. You had barley seen Az actually, for a while, only having been intimate a few times, about a month ago. Thinking back you hadn’t taken your pregnancy control tonic. Idiot you thought to yourself. It was your fault. Putting your head in your hands you started to cry. This was so confusing, how were you supposed to feel? Surely not like this?

You felt someone sit on the bench next to you, looking up you saw Azriel. As someone who usually held a plastid face, he was showing a lot of concern.

“What’s wrong Y/N? I felt your distress down the bond.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you.”

“Stop with that, I’m always available to you. What happened?”

His hands were placed on your knee and back.

Taking a breath, now was not the time to be a coward. You would be okay.

“I haven’t been well lately.” You saw him frown.

Continuing on, “ So I saw Madja, and uh, I’m pregnant.” You felt his hand tighten on your knee and you assumed the worst. About to apologise again he pulled you into a bone crushing embrace. The tears started to slip again.

He kissed the back of your head.

He pulled away once he realised you had been gently crying.

“Are you not happy Y/N?”

Wiping away the wet drips on your face, you let out shaky exhale.

“I just didn’t- I wasn’t sure if you would want this. We’ve never spoken about this…possibility in life.”

“I want you, forever. And whatever you want. A baby, no baby. I know it’s new but we can manage. We always have.”

You tried to smile but you just felt emotional.

“Cmon, you look after me, a baby is nothing compared to what I put you through.” He gave you a grin. Seeing how jovial he was, you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Are you really sure this is what you want?”

“Y/N! I promise. I can’t even express how much I want this. A little you running around, what else could I ask for?”

Lifting your brow, “who says it won’t be a little you?”

He reached up to push a stray hair behind your ear “With any luck, I will have a beautiful, intelligent, compassionate, fiery, little girl, who is just like her mother. You couldn’t help but blush at the compliment.

Little did you both know that you would grow a mischievous little boy exactly like his father.

[lupuslikethewolf]

marauders!au where the war never happened and they all got to go on and live happy lives :) its set years later, when Harry, Ron, Neville, Luna and Hermione are going into their first year.

I haven’t come up with an actual plot yet :/ but this is the setting, and they are all around their early-to-mid-thirties at this point. it's likely just domestic fluff and slice-of-life type shit, with Harry still getting into impossible amounts of fuckery whilst stressing at least 10 different adults (as he should tbh)

i can't decide whether this is set in the 90s or in the modern!era so i left it ambiguous

Barty Crouch Jr, now Professor Barty (just Barty, Crouch is my father), teaches DADA and his fiancé, Evan Rosier, is a Magizoologist who travels during the school year, comes back home for the holidays and weekends to spend with Barty, either on Hogwarts grounds or at their own home. Barty has a close friendship with McGonagall, who is Headmistress, and Poppy (who are married, but no one figured it out).

Dorcas and Marlene play International-Level Quidditch: Dorcas for England, and Marlene for Wales or Ireland (undecided). Everyone thinks they hate each other from the way they treat each other during games. They played for the Holyhead Harpies until they got recruited, and their wedding was basically the biggest, most dramatic and over-the-top graduation party Hogwarts had ever seen, hosted in the Potter Manor. everyone was hungover for days afterwards

Lily and Snape are best-friends-turned-rivals, who achieved a Mastery in Potions at the same time, and are both the youngest people to ever do so. Sev specialises in theoretical potions, and Lily specialises in experimental work, altering old potions and creating new ones. She commandeered the entire basement for her own potions lab, and Remus helps her research in his spare time.

Pandora started publishing with Xenophillius (the definition of gender-fuckery; no-one knows how they identify, not even Xeno), and they publish the most outlandish work they can, alongside Pandora’s books!! They also run Xeno's Quibbler and a couple other independent newspapers. They live out in the countryside w/ Luna. Barty & Evan are their only walking-distance neighbours, but they floo to their friends houses semi-regularly

MaryLily and StarChaser are co-parenting Harry, and being godparents/family friends of Draco, Blaise Zabini, Ron, Neville and Luna. When Harry is at pre-school, he makes friends with Hermione, and the four of them introduce Dr and Dr Granger to the magical world over the years, instead of the two month crash-course Hogwarts gives

Mary is an artist, and since she was raised half-blood, absolutely adores the technique and process of muggle painting, later enchanting it to move and learn and talk. She doesn't own anything that isn't stained with paint, bleach or hair dye. She is famous for her work, in Magical and Muggle circles, but is almost completely anonymous, and they only know what she looks like because of a group portrait she painted

Regulus is an independent researcher of old Pagan traditions and 'Muggle' magic, how different solstices and days (like All Hallows Eve) affect the Magical community, etc. He visits Barty at Hogwarts with Harry every few weeks, and later with Hermione as well, so they grew up learning about the secrets at Hogwarts, in the library, and with the teachers. Also friendly house rivalry, and the adults completely split on which houses they will go into at Hogwarts. Evan started a betting pool.

James and Sirius are the wizarding private investigators. They work everywhere, for everyone (no matter what. they don't need to charge more than what people can afford), and love it. James absolutely adores the 'Sherlock Holmes' vibes, but they are both Sherlock Holmes b/c they are simply too baddass not to be!

Remus opened a bookstore-cafe, and him and Sirius live in the flat above it. It’s really popular and became the place for students and young queer people. The bookstore stocks everything from really popular and really unknown books and authors of every genre. The regulars also notice all these really famous but really mysterious friends of Remus who come-and-go (artist!mary, author!pandora, athletes!dorlene, etc). And then, of course, is the “private” investigator boyfriend, who couldn’t be less subtle at anything if he tried.

Alice is still an Auror, and the Best of the Best, but she is so fucking fed up of the politics, DMLE, and Ministry in general. She is starting a revolution/reformation from the inside- and if that doesn’t work, quit her job and do the same thing from the outside! Frank ended up in law and becoming a Lawyer, and is glad he did, because it might be the only thing that will keep his partner out of jail if she decides to commit treason. They love Neville to bits, and would do anything for him!! They built a whole-ass greenhouse when he discovered his talent.

Peter Pettigrew works part-time with Remus at his place, but is currently training with Gringotts/other cursebreakers to become a professional cursebreaker! it is taking a long ass time with a lot of testing and work to put in, but Peter finds it interesting and it meant that he always has more stories to tell the kids when he sees them, which is a bonus because children are hard to entertain.

[ridiasfangirlings]

can you show off your K collection?

The whole collection, you say :D I have a lot, so under the cut so as not to clutter up everyone’s dash.

First: figures. The large military figures are from Alter and the slightly smaller Fushimi one is from Union Creative. The Alter ones are better quality but honestly I like the more dynamic pose of the UC figure better, there’s a matching Yata that I don’t own largely due to lack of space that’s very cool (however the UC Fushimi also has a truly terrifying alternate face…). The larger chibi figures are lottery prizes, I bought them separately in order to be sure I got what I wanted. I like the winter ones best, someday I need to get the Munakata from that set. The smaller figures are a Niitengo Deluxe set, I actually have a couple duplicates from this because I bought two sets. The ‘regular’ set had Mikoto and then there was a special set — I think it was an Animate exclusive? — that had Munakata along with alternate Fushimi and Yata figures. Then I have the teeny Shiro, Fushimi and Hisui which are keychains, I picked those up at a con (they didn’t have Yata which is why I ended up with Shiro and Hisui in there). 

Also on the figure end I have these little guys: K nendoroids! Wait, you may be wondering, I don’t remember any K nendoroids. That’s because we have no official ones (still mad about that!) so I had no choice but to make my own by modifying parts of existing nendoroids. The clothes were purchased from various places online.

Next is my full set of K nuis. It took a while to get all these, because when they released the ‘clansmen’ sets I only bought the Blue clan and then regretted it. And no, they didn’t make an official Niki nui, since I had extras I modified them. Hidaka, Benzai, Niki and Douhan are my own customs.

More plushies. I believe the larger ones were Sega prizes? I found Munakata and Fushimi being sold as a set online and then hunted down Yata later. The chubby birds are from the Chun Colle line, and of course I had to buy them their own (love) nest. The Saru cat had the clothes sold separately, I think the original listing showed them with a white cat but the black was all AmiAmi had at the time so I have black cat Saru. The Sarumi nuis are from the second release around ROK airing, they’re a bit different than the first release — a little less chubby with more scruffy hair. I have Munakata too, as you can see he’s…busy on top of my desk. 

Standees, because everyone needs a little anime boy on their desk. As you may notice, one of these things is not like the other. That’s right: Yata’s wearing bunny ears! Also Kuroh is there. At the time I bought the little Fushimi with the drink the cheapest one on sale had both Fushimi and Kuroh being sold as a set, so he’s here too. 

Speaking of standees, here’s a few more along with other lotto prizes. These were all from the specific Fan Clan lotteries, you had to be a member to draw. The big Fushimi picture and the water bottle were both grand prizes that I managed to win, so I got to choose my character for those (…don’t  ask how much I spent….). The Fushimi picture has hardware in the back that you can use to stand it up but it’s mostly hanging out hidden by my drawers because I don’t have space to display it right now. 

A few miscellaneous things. The Sarumi plate is official goods, the Akiben cup is a fan made product. The glass has Fushimi on one side and Munakata on the other though it’s hard to see, this was I believe also a lotto prize but I got it as a free gift from a shopping service. The pillows are also both official, the one on the left is the Kotobukiya dream cushion and yes I did buy the whole pillow just to use the Fushimi cover. The incredibly gay pillow featuring Fushimi touching himself while looking at a photo of Yata he’s pinned to his pillow is also, amazingly, 100% official merchandise.

Jumping around to some more official stuff, these are all my physical media. Missing Kings is actually the Japanese release, which has subtitles but no dub. It released before the US version even had a release date on the books so I bought the Japanese version instead (I don’t dislike the dub but dubs are also not something that’s a dealbreaker for me). I also have three stage plays — fun fact, the US and Japan are in the same region for blu ray — these are not subtitled. 

Novels (and a couple CDs). From the top left, we have the All Memories book, Case Files vol 2, Lost Small World, Idol K, the little short story booklet that came with the pre-MK S4 drama CD (with the glasses drama on it), the three anime adaptation books, the aforementioned drama CD and the Idol K CD. 

Next, manga. The top left corner is the K Poe Backs book, which has a bunch of mini first person comics of the cast seducing ‘you’ the reader. The top right is the K Maniacs book which is an official doujinshi book, it has no pairings but a lot of older Sarumi doujinshi artists are involved and Fushimi and Yata definitely dominate the book. I have the special Animate of editions of Gakuen K volume 3 and Missing Kings, because I liked the covers. The LSW books are all the special editions as well, the little booklet on the bottom right came with the final volume. The booklet between the two volumes of Days of Blue also came with that second volume and has the special Cherry Blossom Viewing chapter. (Meanwhile I just realized I don’t have Return of Kings….I need to buy that, I like the art.)

Some more random goods. The purse, hat and watch are all from Super Groupies collabs. I have the Super Groupies S4 wallet as well but it felt weird to take a picture of my own wallet (incidentally, if anyone sees the Super Groupies S4 earrings let me know, I didn’t have my ears pierced when they came out so I didn’t buy them and I want them now). The necklace was for Fushimi’s birthday, there’s a couple Yata ones that were made as well and another Fushimi one that’s blue but this is the only one I bought, it has a tiny S4 logo. The two tins are official teas that were made, the Homra one is my favorite of the two and is a pretty red. 

Some more clothes. I skipped most of the Super Groupies collab clothes for sizing reasons but these all fit and again, all are official. The shirts are from a collab with the brand Avail, they did shirts based off Shiro, Kuroh, Mikoto, Yata, Munakata and Fushimi. I have the Yata, Munakata and Fushimi ones, the puzzle piece S4 logo that’s Munakata’s is my favorite.

My wall o’ keychains. I actually have a lot of keychains on various purses so this is not all of them (I may have mentioned before that I’m also into lolita fashion so I have lots of purses, forgive me for not digging up all of them for keychain pics). The wall is missing a lot of Fushimi keychains though because they’re on my Fushimi ita bag. 

I’ll probably redo this at some point (I don’t really like backpacks so this doesn’t get worn much) but here’s a lot of my Fushimis that aren’t on other purses. I also have some new Sarumi ones I just bought, these are for the Sarumi ita bag I have in progress. This covers most of my collection, I also have a lot of posters and some magazines that aren’t convenient to get pictures of. This doesn’t count my, uh, extensive doujinshi collection either, just know that the bottom shelf and a half of my bookshelves is 90% Fushimi-centric doujinshi. I may be ever so slightly obsessed. 

[weaselweaselw]

Deltarune: Why Gaster has a Split Personality

Holy shit... so, in case you're living under a rock, the Deltarune Winter Newsletter came out last night, and its release sent ripples throughout the entire UT/DR fandom.

Included in the Newsletter is a development update which states that Chapter 3 is pretty much complete.

The only aspect of the chapter still being worked on is the localization process from English to Japanese – the entire team is now working on Chapter 4. So that's nice - they even have an internal deadline for the actual game, so we can expect a release within the next year and a half.

However, the main selling point of this entire newsletter was the fact that it's themed around Valentine's Day. And as a result, there were a lot of Valentine's Day letters sent from the various Undertale and Deltarune characters. Here's one from Undyne:

Here's a list of all the letters. Some are short, some are more comical - but many of them reveal interesting things about these characters.

Especially one character in particular...

That's right! Even Gaster has a letter of his own! In fact, it's the rarest letter of them all that to my knowledge, only one person received, until minutes later, the letter itself was erased from Fangamer's website. However, the letter was archived in the nick of time.

Wow, so that was a lot, right? There's quite a bit to analyze here, from Gaster needing help, to him forgetting someone - and it certainly added fuel to the fire that is the deltarune theory community.

However, there's one particular debate taking place all over the internet right now, for you see... some people don't think that letter was sent by Gaster. For one, the tone of this letter doesn't match his usual scientific, detached, and robotic demeanor he's usually associated with. He appears much more down-to-earth, speaking in a much more formal way than he usually does. And for many in the fandom at the moment, that is enough ground to say this character isn't Gaster.

Despite how utterly insane and ridiculous this might sound to you, these people do bring up good points. And of course... these people also use the Japanese translation as evidence. In the Japanese version of Undertale and Deltarune, Gaster speaks in Katakana and Kanji, two rather complex and sophisticated alphabets, but in this letter, Gaster speaks in Hirigana - a more casual, laid-back, and simplistic alphabet, reflecting his demeanor.

So, what gives? Is this a different Gaster? Are there two Gasters at work here, who may or may not be at odds with one another? Is there going to be a Gaster War?

No. People seem to be forgetting something: Gaster was shattered across time and space, as revealed by Undertale.

This isn't just some figurative jargon - one of the Gaster Followers quite literally holds a piece of Gaster in his hand. I know this is often overlooked, but what do you think the psychological effects of this could be?

It would likely be an extremely traumatic experience, if I'm going to be honest - as parts of your mind and body become fragmented across the entire universe and across time itself. So: it's quite possible that Gaster simply has... a split personality.

There aren't two Gasters or anything ridiculous like that, but rather, the one Gaster we know has his mind scattered across the universe, quite literally fragmented - such that different aspects of his personality present themselves at different times. In fact, such a condition exists in the real world: it's called Dissociative Identity Disorder, and it is most often associated with trauma resulting in the compartmentalization of the mind into multiple personality states, otherwise known as alters.

These are not separate people - think of it like turning a light switch on and off, or closing a door. And this is my solution to this debate that has begun about Gaster - I like to think of it as a compromise, but Gaster having a split personality like this can really spice up the story a bit - and could even solve some of the lingering mysteries about what happened to the secret bosses, but as of now, this only exists as theory tape.

Thanks for tuning into my rant.

[pedros-immaculate-vibes]

A Peaceful Elf

Part X

Halsin/Tav fanfic (slow burn, fluff, angst)

The pine bark bit at your fingers in a familiar way. You had always found a path to commune with The Lady of the Forest while running your fingers through the cracks of a fir tree, closing your eyes and finding the chord in your soul that sung her melody. Injured, you hadn’t been able to visit her presence through prayers the way you did every morning; peace had rippled down through you as you knelt at her alter again. 

Metaphorically knelt, of course—you no longer needed the splint, but your leg wasn’t prepared for that yet; although, it was far down the path to mended. Your Druid companion had a way with healing magic and repaired it faster than you had assumed was possible. No wonder those hands were so famous in the grove…

That thought almost severed your focus. Halsin’s morning voice wiped it clean away.

“Good morning, I see you’re up.” A yawn, uncannily like a bear, “I would have thought you’d like to sleep a bit later given last night.”

Gods, I hope I get to hear that sentence from him again, under different circumstances. 

“I had a hard—Difficult time, falling back to sleep. It was a bit jarring,” you said, feeling your heart beat in more than one place. You needed to finish your prayers and to collect yourself. “I’ve been meditating all morning, I’m almost done, is it alright if you—”

“Oh, my apologies, I merely thought you were appreciating the pine forest. Carry on,” palms up in a placating way. “Find me when you’re done,” and he left. 

A deep exhale, trying to ground yourself again. A few minutes later, and you were focused, pleading with your lady for strength, healing, and the wisdom to not do or say anything stupid today. You swore you heard a mirthful, light chuckle filter through the pine needles. You sent one last token of thanks, then closed the connection as gracefully as possible. 

You made your way back to camp, feeling how others had told you they felt before a battle: shaky and heart pounding. You could blame it on the lack of sleep—clearly you were just exhausted. If he noticed (of which there was a good chance), that’s what you’d say. A little deception can smoothen out certain unavoidable discomforts. You began rounding a boulder that marked being within earshot of the camp when a sudden wave of relaxation washed over you from no where in particular. 

My sincerest gratitude, Mielikki. You touched your forehead and offered your hand to the tree tops in thanks to the goddess. 

Maybe today would be easy after all. 

Arriving back at camp, you saw Halsin straddling the end of one of the campfire circle logs, slicing a third apple into wedges on a plate, the dish of honey nearby. He was still in his camp leisure attire, looking very comfortable. “Hello, again,” much less gravel in his voice. “I figured I could have a light breakfast before we head out and test that leg, if you’ve any interest.” He finished slicing the apple wedges and began drizzling honey over them, conservatively. “After what I did last night, I think one more healing should do the trick; however, feel free to correct me if I am mistaken.” He shook his head quickly to the side, sweeping his eyes back down at his plate, “you seemed to do a number to it while you slept, thank goodness you cried out when you did. I was quite entranced by a dream I was having…nothing less would have roused me,” he said with a mysterious smile.

…Could he have had…

No, no there’s no possible way.

You blinked, trying to regain your presence of mind.

“I think I have the strength for it now, when you’re ready. What did you have in mind?”

Halsin lifted his eyebrows and peered up at you. “I’m that effective a healer, am I? HaHA, I’ll take that as high praise,” he grinned, popping an apple wedge between his teeth. “Excellent! I’ll make quick work of this and ready a few more things. A patrol of the road and back should be enough, agreed?” as another wedge disappeared.

“Agreed.”

Not ten minutes pass before you both leave camp. You thought to bring the walking stick, but there’s no need, you felt fine. It would just be a burden. The walk should only take…you realize you have no idea how far you’ll be walking.

“How far is this little trek?”

“Do you see that ruin at the top of the hill?”

It was at least a quarter mile away. “…yeah.”

“To there.”

Oh, joy, okay, you thought with a quiet sigh.

“And if you start to ache before then, we can always turn back.” He meant it kindly; you took it as a challenge.

“I’ll be fine.”

***

You were not fine. 

Trying to keep your breathing steady, you managed to make it to the top of the hill, driven by pure spite against your own wound. As someone with healing abilities, you should have known this was poor judgement; as someone who prided herself on being hard-headed, you chose to ignore that. 

The injury was one thing. Still needing a good night’s rest was another. You were no githyanki warrior nor were you exactly built like you had designs to become a paladin; your strength came from shifting into something stronger. God’s only know where Halsin seems to get all of that from, you mused, looking at his shoulders. 

He had begun pestering you with questions as soon as he saw the first limp. “And you’re sure you don’t require some assistance? I’ll remind you, I can’t heal you effectively while you still need to walk on it; you need to rest. Perhaps, if I tried healing you and carrying—”

“Tch,” a hand raised in resistance to the thought, “I already said I’d pass,” eyes wide at imagining the experience. “I have to maintain some level of dignity,” you muttered under your breath. Riding piggy back would ruin just about anything I have left. 

He turned to face you, walking backward down the hill. “Have any acquaintances ever informed you that you have a stubborn streak as long as the Chionthar?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, they have. I’ve thanked them each time,” you stuck out your chin.

He smiled, sighed, and turned back toward the downhill path. 

A moment passed, and he turned to face you again with a curious, mischievous look in his eyes. “Have you ever ridden a bear?”

“Wha—?” You’re face drained, realizing what he meant. “No, absolutely not. There is NO possible way I—” 

In that instant, Halsin hunched while his eyes glowed and his smile turned to one with fangs and fur, and then…

You were faced with a cave bear, the same gigantic one from what felt like months ago at the goblin camp. It seemed intent on not letting you walk the rest of the way down, blocking your path when you tried to circumvent the beast. 

And of all the options you had at your disposal, you decided running was the best. Limp be damned.

“No no no no NO no no no No,” you chanted, almost to the Lady of the Forest herself, praying to keep a shred of self respect by miraculously making it back to the camp on your own, the giant bear in tow. You heard a howl that sounded suspiciously like his laugh, closer than you expected. “BY HELM’S BEARD, IF YOU—” and you never finished the sentence. Catching up with you, Halsin curved his snout around your waist from behind and leapt slightly, bouncing you onto his back. You caught the fur at his shoulder blades, then worked your way up to a slanted sitting position.

You were mortified.

You were relieved.

This was exhilarating.

***

“What would you have happened if I’d fallen? You complete idiot!” You tried to foment some level of anger in yourself. What he’d done was objectively stupid; you should probably be mad…right?

“I wasn’t going very quickly. And, I would have caught you, of course,” not a shred of doubt in his response as he found his pipe and began packing it by the campfire.

“Caught me with your bare hands, would you?” You were proud of the pun.

“My elven ones, yes. I’d planned on shifting and catching you, should your balance fail,” not a drop of remorse as a few sparks came from his flint and knife, igniting a glow within the borders of a stray campfire coal he’d grabbed.

MY BALANCE FAIL. For some reason, that subtle dig did find purchase in your irritation. 

He lit the pipe with the glowing coal end, notching it between his canines. Glancing up at you, he must have seen the growing ire. 

“I promise to not do it again, on my honor,” removing the pipe and placing one hand to his chest, looking down like a knight swearing fealty, “until you request it of me,” his gaze rose back up to yours with a smirk.

“You regret nothing, do you?” You smiled back in astonishment, no longer able to sustain the annoyance. “And I’M the stubborn one.”

“You are. You’re just not the only stubborn one, dear one,” placing the pipe back in his mouth, his lips encircling it with a grin. He sauntered back to the tent, kneeling by the side of your cot to sift through the equipment bag.

There was that title again. When did you hear it last…Had you heard it before, or had you imagined it?

He paused his searching, hung his head and sighed deeply. Turning on his heels back to you, he soberly added, “If I have truly wronged you, I do apologize. Sometimes, I let the bear get the better of me, but I should not make that your concern,” he smiled, wanly.

“Thank you,” you replied, distracted from your thoughts. “Just don’t surprise me next time, alright?” You mustered the very last gram of irritation you had left on the subject.

“I promise,” he nodded. “Now, if you’re not opposed, let’s take a look at that leg.”

You’d temporarily forgotten the ache until that moment. “I’ll be honest, riding a bear probably wasn’t the best choice with an injured thigh,” you remarked, walking unevenly to the cot.

“…You’re not wrong,” he agreed, scratching his forehead, horror poorly concealed as it crept into his features. “Has the pain worsened?”

Your eyes twinkled as you sat down, enjoying his discomfort, “No.”

“Silvanus preserve me, woman,” he huffed under his breath, both vexed and relieved. Victory, as he began puffing billows again, muttering, “Let’s take a look.” 

He lowered to one knee and allowed you to move your skirts to the side, once more. The bandage was clean, and not wanting to waste good wrappings, he took the time to unravel it. You reminded yourself to breath evenly.

“Hmm,” a thoughtful exhale, as he viewed the healing claw marks, “still progressing well.” He’d wanted to heal the wound focusing with the interior, first; the aesthetics and exterior came after the most vital areas. 

He placed the pipe by his lowered knee, shut his eyes, hovered his palms over the wound, and stretched his neck up to the tent ceiling. A pale green glow crackled silently around his hands and your leg, his eyebrows knitting as he focused, muscles taught in his arms and throat.

Shamelessly, you admired the view.

The glow subsided, as did the ache in your thigh. His eyes opened, clear and focused, migrating to you. “How does it feel now?” 

Clearing your throat, “Better. Thank you.”

“Of course,” he looked down, grinning. He raised an eyebrow, inhaling deeply, and still not looking directly at you, “You should get some rest, let the healing set in a bit. Perhaps take those hours you couldn’t after your,” his voice became husky, “after this morning.” He collected the wrappings and replaced the pipe, puffs of the sweet and earthy smoke floating up and out through a few well placed vents in the tent sheets. “I’ll finish my rounds, maybe see if I can find anything for dinner.”

“Or more honey.”

An unfiltered chuckled slipped from his lips, “Or more honey.” He rose, still not looking directly at you. “Get some rest.” And with that, he was gone, lowering the tent flap to allow a bit more shade for your respite.

You nestled into the blanket, the same one you had designs to make your own; so far, those designs seemed to moving along nicely.

***

You awoke hours later, according to the sun’s placement: just before noon. There was no sign of your campmate. Your leg had rested long enough, you thought, easing your way up and off the cot. Peering out between the tent panels, you looked for any sign of him; still, nothing. After asking the cub and Scratch, you’d found he had not returned. The patrols weren’t short trips, but three hours? Odd. Scowling at the tree line, you heard movement far off; rhythmic movement, like walking. There was no way to tell yet if it was Halsin or someone you were less interested in meeting. Glad I centered myself this morning. You tuned yourself to your Rothe shape, grinding your right leg into the dirt, testing for any lingering ache. You gathered it was fully healed as your wild shape remained prepared; the idea of a fight brought you an odd sense of satisfaction.

*Rustle* *SnAp* *sNap*

An audible stumble followed.

This didn’t sound like an invader. You remained waiting, still crouched behind the corner of the tent.

A large hand pushed back the concealing, low-hanging bough: Halsin’s hand. He carried an unfamiliar satchel and strode the few yards between you slower and less adamantly than you were used to. 

“Did something happen?”

“Yes, but not something, a few someone’s.”  With one hand, he moved a log that lay between him and camp. “Not to worry, they’ve been dispatched. They did, however, have a few sundry items I think our camp may appreciate.” 

“Oh! Well that’s a nice surprise. We don’t usually get very good loot.”

“Not often, no,” he agreed, stopping at the edge of camp to meet you. “Did you rest well enough?”

You would have answered if you hadn’t seen the oozing gash on his face and cuts on his arm.

“What kind of fight was it?” Visually taking the injuries in. A few more on his other arm, one looked like an arrow had grazed him.

“A few thieves looking for easy prey. They judged poorly. Nothing to concern yourself with,” he answered mildly and he pressed forward to the center of camp.

“Halsin, those don’t look great.”

“I’m alright.” He unpacked the thieves’ satchel, piling food into the communal basket.

“Halsin. Stop what you’re doing.” You mimicked a paralyzing glare as best you could, and pointed to the tent at your right. “Tent.”

—

I hope I hear that again under different circumstances, He thought, admiring Tav’s steely portrayal of authority..

—

“Stubborn bear,” you murmured as you followed him to the cot. “Sit down and let me take a look.” The height difference between the two of you seemed even more prominent now that you tried to assert some level of power over the situation. A crooked smile as he looked down at you, “Yes, little healer,” eyes never leaving yours as he sunk down to the edge of the cot.

“Thank you,” as curt as possible, with a tinge of concern in your voice. 

You took in the wound on his face, still bleeding. There is no way this doesn’t hurt like the hells. A clean cut, but deep. Another two on his left upper arm, more superficial, and that arrow graze on his right forearm. Now it was you rifling through the medical pack, looking for something to clean with. The clotting had started and you needed a clearer view. “How many were there?”

“A few.”

“Halsin.”

He maintained his bemused gaze. “Eight.”

Eight? “Eight what?”

“Thieves, I told you, little one.”

“Eight gnomes? Eight gnolls? Eight what?” Depending on their faction, you may have had to worry about poison on their blades.

“Just men, maybe a few half-orcs. Nothing likely to have exotic coatings on their weapons,” He looked passed you as you cleaned the facial laceration. Alright, so he’s thinking the same thing. Holy hells, that sounds bad, though.

“Eight men and half-orcs? And you just—you just fought them off.”

“Not exactly, they had laid an embarrassingly well-concealed trap. I was dangling from a treetop for a bit, there.”

Your hand paused. Then resumed.

“The netting was weak and did nothing for a cave bear,” he grinned slightly, wincing at the pain the smiled caused. “By that point, they’d heard the alarms attached to the trap and came running. I found higher ground and held it. Easily dispatched.” He concluded as if talking about what dish he’d planned for that evening.

You were speechless for a moment. There was no chastising him, what could he have done differently? There was no comforting him since he seemed fairly ambivalent if not proud of the outcome. “I’m glad this is all you sustained,” a quiet relief in your voice.

His eyes met yours, “As am I, dear one.”

I could easily kiss him right now, maybe see if he moves the same way as that dream, your mind wandered, so you asked about the scar he already had next to the one you hoped wouldn’t form.

He looked past you again, recollecting. “Ah, that, well, sometimes Nature forgets I am not wed to it, and needs reminding.” He shifted in the cot slightly, then looked at you, seeming to think you’d understand.

Confused and almost done cleaning the rust-colored flakes from his left temple, “Needs reminding of what?”

“Well, ha,” he stumbled over his words, self-consciously. “I didn’t exactly pick this scar up in battle. I was in wildshape, only I forgot it was the season when bears are…particularly social,” he mentioned, modestly. “A she-bear claimed me as her own, and did not appreciate being spurned,” almost a chuckle. 

“…Oh, I—I see…” you stammered, as you examined the cut, unsure what to say in response. Now who’s self-conscious. You realized that up until that point, neither of you had mentioned actions akin to being “particularly social”. “Does it still hurt at times?”

“Not for many years. The last it felt tender was probably before you were born.”

A smirk at his assumption and subtle fishing since you had yet to mention your age. “I’m 62, Halsin.” You judged that the wound would heal easily with a magic touch.

He hesitated. “…Really? Unexpected. I suppose you would have been a youth, then,” he stated, making his head bob yet again.

“I suppose so… Now hold still,” you told him, one hand beginning to glow near his left temple while the other gently but firmly held his chin steady. You could feel his face pull into suppressed smile. Beneath your illuminated palm, the skin stitched back together, just like it had done hundreds of other times. “There, good as new,” you said, gently rubbing a thumb over where the cut had disappeared. 

“Ha, it’s strange being treated instead of treating. I’m usually where you are.” 

“Well, then, perhaps you’ve had this coming for a long time.” 

His head leaned almost imperceptibly into your palm.

“Thank you, Tav.” His eyes rose to yours, “You’re not a bad healer yourself.” The compliment was minor, but the look in his eyes…

The look made gravity shift.

“I try,” a humble response with a humbler smile. You realized your other hand was still holding his chin. You used it to pat him on his shoulder. “Do you need help with the others?” You turned to the supply bag, pretending to look for more supplies to clean the wounds with. His arms were resting on his lap, propping him up. You hoped he would accept just so you had an excuse to let him see you on your knees in front of him. I’m just torturing myself, by this point. 

A deep inhale as he examined the remaining scratches, beginning to treat the wounds himself as easily as flicking away drops of mud. “You’re too kind. I’ve had much worse, trust me. Thank you, however.” There was the wall again. You could sense the tension dissipate immediately, like a torch being thrown into a pond.

“Of course…old bear,” you shot with a smirk, still rummaging through the satchel.

—

His face shot left, up towards Tav’s, a quirk of a grin. He looked forward again, setting his jaw and standing up as if about to take his leave. With his left hand, he grabbed the back of her tunic, lifted the half-elf up a few inches and tossed her on the recently evacuated cot, smiling to himself as he left the tent.

Old bear. Not that old, he thought with a scoff.

[setzappersto-pew]

I think we all need to take a step back, temper our expectations, try to have some critical thinking skills, and judge the show for what it is instead of what it could or should be. This is Rick Riordan retelling the story for a new generation (in a new medium, which necessitates change--a novel is not the same as a TV/film script) from a future perspective, knowing what the future holds for these characters. He can introduce themes and ideas earlier and hammer them in harder, work on character development in a different way, create slightly altered scenarios to make more tension and drama...because he has a full plan now, not just a bedtime story. Is this future planning a good thing? Debatable. But I'm here for it if it can be done well.

Let's look at episode 6.

While I like our trio just stumbling into places and being dumb kids about it, just vibing at the arcade games while the world spins on...going to the Lotus Hotel with a purpose gives them more agency and drives the story more, even though they still fall into the inevitable trap because they can't escape that magic. Grover's deep desire to be a Searcher (a theme that comes to fruition in the future) is what keeps him stuck there. Percy and Annabeth find Hermes, which brings the conversation back around to Luke; Annabeth's so close to Luke, and Percy is his literary foil, so naturally that's what keeps them trapped. On that subject, focusing so much on Luke and bringing in his backstory so early really hammers in the theme of the gods needing to step up as parents lest they ruin their children's lives and start wars...and the idea that Luke was right, he just chose to do horrible things about it (while also being manipulated by Kronos, I know). We're setting up Kronos and the idea of something much bigger than just the bolt being stolen, which was likely not on Rick's mind in 2005. My point here is that there's more of a thematic purpose with the deviations, and the themes are indicative of a larger story. The downside of this, however, is Hermes kind of giving them the answer--and also keeping them there--instead of Percy figuring out that too much time has passed. You win some, you lose some.

Percy's been given 4 pearls instead of 3? It's meant to set up false hope. One will likely break or get lost, and Percy will still have to make that choice. We hear him say "Hold fast, Mom" in the teaser for episode 7, implying she will stay behind and he will fail to save what matters most. I also think this shows that Poseidon still cares for Sally and Percy, since he seemingly intended for Percy to save Sally too.

The solstice has already passed? Adds higher stakes. Gives Percy a choice: go back to camp, like he wanted to when they were only in New Jersey, or stay the course. He chooses to continue, to do the right thing and try to stop this war and anything beyond (and to save Sally too obviously), the complete opposite of him at first refusing to even go on this quest. He's seen a glimpse of his father's care, has a different perspective on the gods' parenting from Hermes, knows there are worse things to come thanks to his Kronos-dreams, and chooses to hold fast and brave the storm.

Episode 5 had similar complaints. Hephaestus's trap was different, but the goal here was to showcase Percy and Annabeth's growing fondness for each other and Percy's self-sacrificial tendencies and Fatal Flaw of loyalty, as well as establishing Hephaestus as more of a sympathetic ally. No spiders to show Annabeth does get scared (a logistical nightmare they tried but couldn't get to work, according to Rick), but she is scared of being abandoned and of losing Percy just like she did Thalia. Again, this changes Percy and Annabeth defeating the trap by their own skills, but it emphasizes the mindset that Percy holds about the gods being "correct" and the ability for the stubborn gods to be swayed. Grover was just a sidekick in this book chapter, but here he's unfurling the mystery, using his powerful empathy to understand Ares and subsequently trick him into saying too much, providing the misdirection of Clarisse, etc.

Some people need to have a little more patience with this too. No Fates when Percy's leaving Yancy, but we get them later when they show Annabeth the string they cut--which is Luke's lifeline, not Percy's, further tying her to these two characters. I saw some complaints that they skipped the Oracle, only to get it first thing the next episode. Others were worried about Percy's fugitive plotline being gone, when the first real instance of this in the book was after he gets out of the Mississippi River anyway...so, right where we got it in the episode (there was a small instance before they left camp, but I think that's okay to gloss over). Ares presents them with more of this plotline instead of them catching it on a TV, which is such an Ares thing to do so it works for me. No Iris Message in Denver, but we got it in episode 6 when they have more suspicions to report; Luke is still kinda shifty in the call and now he has another person to blame directly, making the misdirection even more fun. Percy and Annabeth don't have their iconic talk in the truck, but they've touched on a lot of it already in other conversations and maybe they will do more before Percy's fight with Ares (she still gives him her necklace as we can see in teasers, so this seems likely). Percy's getting wet under the water instead of staying dry, and we have yet to see him talk to a horse (the zebra is barely seen in episode 6, which I will admit is just silly given the episode title); maybe we'll get those later when it matters more to the plot, instead of just tacking it on as more stuff he can do.

My point here is this: this is not a beat-for-beat adaptation, and I don't think it should be. This is a retelling with the ultimate series themes and events in mind, not just the immediate events. It's got the vibes and the soul of the world and the characters. The deviations still feel like the characters would have made those choices, they still fit in this fictional world. Some are attempting to fix details that worked in 2005 but don't in 2023/2024, or that were extraneous details that filled the pages but not the plot. Some changes emphasize different themes like the gods being able to be swayed in their mindset, while no longer showcasing our heroes skills and abilities--but their skills and abilities are shown in different scenes. It's a trade-off that usually pays off. There are some missteps and pacing issues and exposition issues, but it's a show aimed at kids who don't know the finer points of Greek mythology with 30-40 minute episodes (the latter is Disney's fault). I see the changes and understand that most of them are used to tell the greater story, the story of Percy Jackson and the Olympians, not just The Lightning Thief.

Bottom line: I'm having a good time! This show is making me really happy, while also nailing the emotional beats to really wreck me, and that's all I expected and wanted out of it. I like that some of the changes are making me wonder how things will play out differently with the same end goal ahead; it keeps it fresh and reinvigorates my love for this story. These kids are ACTING, they are these characters, and they have stolen my heart! Do I wish some things weren't changed? Maybe. But different doesn't mean bad. People are allowed to not like it, but I hope they have a good reason for not liking it besides "it's different than the books", especially when it's very much not different in the grand scheme of adaptations. If people would stop crying foul immediately and have some perspective instead, they might have a better experience.

[azure-wolf-227]

Luz is a Titan AU

I've seen several 'Luz is a Titan/Half Titan/Luz turns into a Titan/Half Titan' AU concepts, and I wanted to do my own take on the idea.

Luz is biologically a Titan and King's older sister. When the Archivists attacked, the Titan couldn't place Luz in the tower with King's egg, so they used their power to send her through time and space to somewhere safe. That somewhere ended up being the Human Realm. Shortly after, Camila and Manny Noceda found the little Titan.

The Titan gives Luz a protective amulet that hides her from the Archivists (it has the same sigil King found in the tower and carved into his tag), allowing Luz to change her form between Titan and Human. Since Manny and Camila were the first beings to find Luz, the magic amulet used their appearance as a template for Luz's disguise.

Luz’s Titan powers start developing at the age of 8-9; around the same age King started developing his powers in canon. Her first power is, of course, the Sonic Shout (WEH!).

When the Nocedas moved to Gravesfield, Luz began having weird dreams - actually the Titan trying to communicate with her - because the portals to the Demon Realm (Eda’s, and the one used in ‘Thanks to Them’) are linked to the town. These dreams help Luz develop her Glyph language, so by the time she is 14, she already has the basic Glyphs and has begun developing the combos.

Luz’s Glyphs are not the same as in canon cause these are her own rather than the Titan’s. And while she can draw them, Luz mainly makes the Glyphs/Glyph Combos appear on her hands or the air.

Titan Luz is mostly similar to Canon Luz in personality, but she also has some self-esteem issues about not being human. Add to how, after Manny’s death, Camila began to insist that Luz act more normal/be more human in fear that her oddities would lead to people discovering her secret.

This AUs version of ‘A Lying Witch and a Warden’ starts out the same with Luz being sent to camp, her chasing Owlbert through Eda’s portal, and meeting Eda; things begin diverging once they arrive to The Owl House and King appears. Luz is shocked to see a being that looks exactly like her (true form); she doesn’t reveal her true form, though, because she is so used to hiding it. Eda and King learn that Luz is not human when she can’t pass through the barrier at the Comformatorium, though it isn’t until after the fight with Warden Wrath, the prison break, and the return to the Owl House that Luz reveals her true form. Safe to say that Eda is stunned at meeting another of whatever King’s species is while King is excited; after hearing Luz’s story, he convinces himself that Luz must have been “shrunk” as well, then banished to Earth.

Anyway, Luz’s decides to stay in the Demon Realm to learn how to be a witch and maybe find some answers about herself. Besides her Titan powers/Glyphs, this Luz can also create spell circles like witches, though she’d still default to Glyphs. Luz would also teach King about his own powers, though he likely won’t awaken them before he did in canon, except maybe he starts to develop his own Glyphs.

Luz wouldn’t go walking around the Boiling Isles in her true form even if it wouldn’t be strange there. The Doylist reason is that I  want the reveal that Luz is the same species as King to happen much later, maybe during Luz’s first confrontation with Belos in the Season 1 finale, or sometime in Season 2. As for the Watsonian/in-universe reason, maybe Luz is used to disguising her true form, or Eda tells her to keep it hidden for some reason.

Set up from the previous idea, Luz figures out how to alter her disguise to look like a witch, instead of a human. Because Eda was her template, Luz’s witch disguise has fluffy auburn hair, and golden eyes. Basically, she looks like a Raeda kid and results in people coming up with secret love child theories.

Edit: @princess-of-the-corner suggested a different idea for why Luz’s disguise changes. The illusionary disguise works by taking traits from the people Luz sees as parental figures. She original looked like Manny and Camila’s biological daughter because they were the ones who raised her; her disguise began to take some traits from Eda, and later Raine, as she began to subconsciously see them as second parents. The change was gradual, so Luz didn’t notice the difference until she first saw Vee disguised as her and found her appearance unfamiliar.

Does Luz has memories of before she was sent to Earth since King could remember things before he was hatched?

Yes, but Luz thinks those memories are just dreams and stuff her mind made up rather than memories, so she never told anyone about them. Or she did as a young child, but her parents just thought they were children dreams.

Let’s end this with what Luz looks like as a Titan. She is mostly a taller version of King, maybe a few inches taller than Canon Luz; her horns are the same as Canon Titan Luz’s; her fur has a more purplish tint than King’s but they have the same eyes; unlike King, Luz wears clothes, the same clothes canon Luz wears; her protective/disguise amulet looks like the medal King wears in the series’ epilogue with a purple ribbon and it has the anti-Collector/Archivist sigil engraved into it. Sometime in Season 2, Luz goes through a growth spurt and grows wings.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

Help I'm crisising

I'm aroace and i have this friend who I've known for a couple years but only gotten close two in the last few months, and I really like her. I've had a weird alterous attraction crush on her for literal years and recently now that we've gotten closer I'm wondering if we could someday be in some sort of qpr thing. I know she's some sort of queer, and she knows that I am, though not specifically aroace, and I know she's not in any relationships.

The problem is:

I'm really confused about what I feel, cause I've never felt anything close to this for anyone, ever, and I'm also really aware that she's one of the first friends and definitely the closest that I've had since a major depressive episode I had that lasted 1-2 years and so I'm worried that maybe I'm kinda latching on to her to feel normal and not lonely anymore. Basically I'm just constantly second-guessing my feelings, but I also have pretty solid evidence that I shouldn't trust myself with them.

I don't know what she knows about being aroace, and I don't know if she'd be interested in a QPR

I don't know if she's interested in me. She definitely likes as a friend, but I'm horrible at telling what feelings people have towards me beyond than friendly, angry, or indifferent

And if ever she made a move on me, I'd be into it, but I don't know how to explain "actually I'm aroace and so like half of the things you'd expect out of an allo dating relationship are off the table, and also I will never be able to love you in the way most would people expect from me" Also, at what point do you even bring that up? Before or after doing anything? The inciting incident of all this was today when she was driving me home from her place and while we were leaving her brother was bugging me to tell him about her love life and asking questions like "Does she have a bf/gf? Is she dating (other friend of hers)?" and "Are you two dating? Are you going to kiss in the car?" and she told him to stop and not make me uncomfortable, but in my head I was just thinking "not as uncomfortable as you think." And then I was thinking about maybe kissing her the whole car ride, and I was kinda hoping maybe she would. Sorry for the massive wall of text I'm overthinking everything and driving myself mad. I don't have anyone who knows I'm queer besides her so I have nobody to talk to about this.

First of all Anon, remember that it's OK to be confused, and it's OK to not be quite sure what you want. You're navigating these feelings for the first time, and they're generally big feelings which can also make them harder to decipher, especially in the moment.

Sometimes imagining different scenarios can help and sometimes certain scenarios will appeal to you a lot more (remember QPRs are heavily tailored, and can include and not include whatever the people in them want). Sometimes journaling can help with sorting out what you're feeling too, and if you're not sure where to start, there's a lot of good tips for effective journaling online.

It is OK to not have everything figured out right away. Sometimes things also play out over time, you can talk and try things out and see where things go. Honestly my advice would probably be to just start by telling her you're aroace and, if this is something you want to pursue, talking about QPRs, or how aroaces sometimes do relationships a bit differently where the relationship can be tailored to each other/pick and choose what that relationship involves or not. And maybe that would be something that appeals to her, maybe it won't, and you can take note of how you're feeling too. (Of course if you decide you prefer the relatioship you have with her now and don't want to change anything, that's an option too.)

Go easy on yourself, you're figuring all this out as you go. Remember there's two ways this can go, either things work out how you want them to, which would be great, or they won't and you'll still learn a lot in the process and be a lot more ready and prepared the next time you find yourself in a similar situation.

All the best, and good luck!

[romaine2424]

WIP SNIP

Thanks you @sleepstxtic for the tag! OMG definitely take a look at Kat's.

This is SNIP is from my WIP good stuff folder. It's over a decade old, but I keep it because I always felt it had potential. I have about 5K written. It's temp title is Ghost Ship. I've spliced some scenes together here, so you can get the gist.

Scene 1: "Draco, come here, look properly! What do you think?" Harry saw Draco's face up close now, right beside his father's. They were extraordinarily alike, except that while his father looked beside himself with excitement, Draco's expression was full of reluctance, even fear. But then the words came out. "It's him. It's Potter," he said, and he walked away toward the fireplace where his mother stood watching. Lucius pressed his wand to his forearm, calling Voldemort. Bellatrix, Narcissa, and Draco all had their wands pointing towards the trio.  Harry knew at that moment he'd lost. The world seemed to shake on its axis. Everything seemed wrong.

Scene 2: 3 spliced scenes the morning after Hogwarts Battle

...

Draco gave a wry smile and walked over to the four-poster bed.  Harry kept his wand pointing at Malfoy's chest.  "What do you want, Malfoy?" "I—I need to show you something.  I need you to know and I'm afraid it will be gone soon," Draco said, his hand sliding through his fringe that needed a wash.  "What do you need to show me right now?  Why can't it wait?  I've had a bit of morning." Draco couldn't help but laugh.  "A bit of a morning you say?  I know, Potter, but I think you should know.  It was what Dumbledore left me in his will." ... "Just some words," Draco said.  None of us could figure it out then but eventually its meaning became clear. Harry snorted.  It sounded like the Headmaster. "What did his will say?" "My mercy still awaits," Draco said. ... Draco burst out laughing.  "Potter, this isn't a fairy ring like they taught us in school.  This is one where second chances are given." "What?" Harry asked as he rose so he could see Draco as they talked.  "You mean like a Time-Turner?"  "Almost," Draco responded and then turned towards the white marble....he took a few steps over and then lay his hands on it.  "Time-turners were mainly used to observe and not interfere." Harry coughed.  "Well small changes could be made, and then life carried on absorbing this new course.  Eventually it all blends in. This type of fairy ring, though, only appears when the course of history has been altered. Someone made a wrong decision, and the repercussions were so bad that it couldn't be absorbed. There was no way for things to get back on track.  It had been irrevocable altered.” "What did you use it for? Why didn't you go back to the night Dumbledore died?" Harry asked. That is what he felt he would have done if given the chance. "That might have made a difference, but I doubt it. Dumbledore was going to die anyway. That is what Snape told me once in confidence. No this was worse than that night, Potter." Harry walked over to where Draco stood and placed his hand next to his. The marble was cool and smooth. "What could have been worse?" Draco looked at him. Harry shivered. The last time those grey eyes had stared at him like this had been at Malfoy Manor when Draco said he wasn't sure it was him. Harry knew that Draco had been lying. But why? Then it struck him...the truth. "You confirmed it was me that day in the Manor, didn't you?" The nod was slow but deliberate. "Did I die?" Harry asked without hesitation. "Yeah, you did along with Weasley and Granger. It was over in a few moments and then everything became so much worse."

tagging: @ghostofnoir, @mosrael, @apricitydays-lazynights, and @pixieliciousnippletassles. And anyone else who wants to join in!

[multiplicity-positivity]

Is it okay that we've never known the real count of our head mates? We have very heavy barriers between us + aphantasia and as a result even though I'm always in front (idk why? I've just never ever been able to leave the front, I'm not always in control though, when I'm in front and not in control t feels like I'm watching the body from above) and sometimes I'm aware that someone is in front with us, I still am not aware of how many of us there are or what most of them do. There have been many times where I can look back and say ohh someone else was in front w/ me and that's why we behaved that way but I cant easily identify anyone at all especially when I don't even rlly know what makes me "me"? All of us refer to the body as "I" frequently but it's more like different versions of the same person with different likes/dislikes sometimes and things like that, and I have some of that stuff in my notebooks but I can just never actually talk to them much at all and have no idea how many of us exist

hey, this is totally fine and tbh we feel like this is a normal experience for many systems, especially those who are newly discovered or still trying to make sense of their plurality. it took us over 2 years to get more or less of an accurate headcount of how many alters we have, and that was with a ton of work internally and pretty intensive therapy every week. and tbh there are probably even more alters that us in the main fronting group don’t know about… it comes with the territory of having dissociation issues.

it’s okay to not know how many headmates are in your system. maybe that answer will come with time and effort, or maybe not, but we think what’s more important is showing respect, kindness, and acceptance to the headmates that you do meet.

if you’re not already, you may find it useful to start using the simplyplural app to keep track of the headmates you know about. you can leave notes in some conspicuous place to urge the other members of your system to use it too. that way, y’all can collaborate to start building a database of your headmates so you can at least start trying to get a better idea of how many members your system has. of course, you could alternatively start keeping track of this information in a notebook or document. hopefully, with time and patience, you’ll be able to get a better idea of the size and scope of your system.

we hope this helps… we know trying to learn how many members are in your system can be a daunting task, especially if you have strong dissociative barriers between headmates. but we’re wishing you the best of luck with figuring this out! rest assured, your experience is pretty common, especially for those of us who struggle with heavy dissociative barriers between members.

[withacapitalp]

Hidden Gem Friday

Hey guys! It's time for our second Hidden Gem Friday. If you don't already know the drill, here's how it works. You guys send me fics you like that have less than 2k hits on ao3 or less than 200 notes here on Tumblr, and I read them and put them out as reccs on Fridays. I also like to add in my own reccs, because there's some stuff I've read that just really needs more engagement. I really like doing this, but I have a few asks. If you read these fics, please leave a comment! Comments are the lifeblood of keeping authors invested in writing for a lot of us, and it makes us feel super happy to know people enjoyed the fics. Secondly, if you comment, let the author know where you got it from! I always love to hear I was added to a recc list. Okay Reccs under read more as always. If you want to see the others look at the tag #Hidden Gem Friday

Still So Much To Learn by BonitaBreezy recced by me. @bonitabreezy on here! 4k words (Complete)- Steddie

Summary:

Steve Harrington knows he’s stupid. Everyone has made that very clear to him. But sometimes it hurts to hear, especially from the people you love.

My Thoughts:

Ough you guysssss. Okay so I watched this being written, and I got it in bits and pieces slowly over the course of four(? maybe five) hours. It was so fucking intenseeeeeeee. This fic is really well written, and it deals with one of my favorite headcanons, and I really like that it didn't pull the usual route of 'Eddie is the only one who never calls him stupid'. I love that sm but like this is so much more realistic? These kinds of miscommunications happen allllllll the time, and we do things and say things we don't mean, and I just yeah everyone should read this one!!!!!

Go At Your Own Pace by Cardigains recced by @andrea-csenge 17k words (Complete)- Gen El focused

Summary:

“Write down three things,” Hopper says, ducking his head to catch her eye. “Three things you want to make happen this year, and we’ll do everything in our power to help you. How about that?” or New place, new school, not new but new-together parents—after last year, El is more than happy to let the world pass her by from the safety inside of their home, but her friends and family have different ideas. How they work to prove to El she is not alone and can succeed at anything she sets her mind to.

My Thoughts

This one is really really good. It's canon to season four ending, and I didn't even have time to doubt, because this El is so good. This is an El who is past the traumatic events, but still impacted by them. She feels older but still El? I love it. All of the characters are super realistic, amazing jopper, WONDERTWINS, it's all jsut really well written, and it floooooows god does this flow. It is awesome

uh-oh, love comes to town by 96 tears recced by @daysarestranger 13k words (Complete)- Steddie w side of Robin/Vickie

Summary:

It’s not like Steve thought Eddie would stay single forever, but he figured he’d have a girlfriend by the time Eddie got a boyfriend. So, when Vickie and Robin set Eddie up on a blind date with Vickie’s cousin, Steve figures he feels weird about it because he’s the only one without a date.But an annoying little voice starts telling him maybe there’s more to it than that. He just has to figure out what it is.

My Thoughts:

This one is so fricken sweet!! I love the way Vickie is characterized in this one, we don't see her a lot (except for people saying her and Robin didn't work) but this person took the time to think about it. There's also a good dollop of QPR stobin which I always love, and a badass little granny for Steve, but the main thing here is the awesome Steddie! It's really well written, you an see them doing this complicated little dance around each other and the ending is so so sweet. It's also really funny I laughed at least three times

down on the timeline by annabeeus recced by @silverysnake 6k words (Complete)- Steddie with Ronance and a little Jargyle

Summary:

In a slightly altered universe where the Demogorgon never became more than a D&D character - The Party are semi-famous Youtubers. Steve, one-half of movie commentary channel BLOCKBUSTERS, and Eddie, the leader of D&D channel THE HELLFIRE SOCIETY, can't help but start falling for each other after meeting through a mutual friend.

My thoughts:

I always wanna try to be honest with my thoughts here- I did not think I was going to like this story. The way it was formatted isn't something I'm used to and it threw me off, but I stuck with it and I'm glad I did! It's really funny, and I love the little references thrown in everywhere. You know when you can feel an author probably worked harder on something then they initially planned, and the result is fucking awesome? Yeah that's this fic. It's super cute, it's told in this really unique kind of outsider perspective, and I so so enjoyed it.

i wish i knew how (your eyes are like starlight now) by MacksDramaticShenanigans aka @stevethehairington this one is also a me recc bc it's my list! I can do as I please haha. 10k words (Complete)- Steddie

Summary:

“Mistletoe!” Robin cheers, and Steve’s heart stutters so hard in his chest that he thinks it might crack his ribcage and drop right out the bottom of his stomach. His eyes fly up, and, sure enough, there hangs one of the many sprigs hung all around the apartment. Small and inconspicuous, but unmistakable. That ridiculous little plant has no idea that it’s just turned Steve’s entire world on its axis. Across from him, Eddie’s eyes are trained up too, big and round and wide where they stick on the mistletoe. His lips are parted in surprise, and Steve can’t help but stare and think am I going to kiss those now? When Eddie finally tears his gaze from the plant and lets it flicker down to Steve, a pretty pink dusting blooms across the bridge of his nose and spreads into the apples of his cheeks when he finds Steve already looking back. Steve spares the mistletoe one last quick peek before he takes a deep breath and steels himself. This is it. He sticks his hands on his hips, aiming for casual, and asks, “What do you say, Munson?” Or, Steve makes a promise, Robin likes to meddle, and the spirit of Christmas strikes (out) again. And again. And again. (Until it doesn’t.)

My Thoughts:

Okay I'm going to be frank I may be biased bc I betad this fic, except I'm not because it's so goddman spectacular. I'll start with how funny it is. I reread it today to have it fresh in my mind, and it's hilarious. Secondly the reveal and the moment where Steve thinks Eddie doesn't want him is so quietly heartbreaking, but perfectly written. Characterization is awesome, I watched every iteration of this as it grew and grew into something absolutely magnificent, and I'm so lucky to have gotten to beta for it!!

[tavyliasin]

ATG 12 - Friday? Freaky

Pairing: Haarlep/Tav/Raphael SPICE Rating: 5/5  Content Warnings:  Sex, BDSM, Power Play, group sex, light neck grab, mild hidden voyeurism, body-swap, mild petplay (brief use of collar and leash, one use of the term "pet" as derogatory)  

Spoilers Act 3, House of Hope Canon Compliance If you wanted canon you are in entirely the wrong place now. This is pure "Rule of Hot" and I don't think either of us care now do we?  Other Notes Style note - hopefully this is clear, but whenever Tav is talking in all italics, these lines are being spoken by Haarlep through her. I'm going to go with it's a Haarlep specific thing, I was going to use Magic Mouth on the studs in the harness but the rulebook just didn't quite work for it, so I figured they could add something to the spell or the contract.

Essentially the rule at this point is "what Haarlep wants, Haarlep gets." Adding note - this is the direct continuation of ATG 11

Song/Mood The Devil You Know by I Fight Dragons "Nobody knows you better than your demons So whatever you believe it's now or never Time to take 'em dancing. Drop into the flow, let your body go. Dance with the devil you know or go home. They're all watching now, better show 'em how: Dance with the devil you know, and get loud."

----- FULL CHAPTER BELOW THE CUT -----

The soothing waters of the pool were completely refreshing. With only a little more attention from Haarlep, who was willing to care for her but not to spoil her, Tav felt herself entirely restored. The food and drinks provided were a luxury, too, and one that she happily indulged in. The incubus warned her she would need her energy, and they would be proven right before dawn. As she cleaned up and recovered, Haarlep talked her through their plan. They did not have a lot of time, Raphael would be on his way back in short order having felt the incubus’s use of his form from across the realms, but his work would keep him away just long enough to prepare. Tav stood still as they assessed her, preparing the spell scroll. “You shall have to cast this one, take great care not to lose your concentration, Rat, Alter Self has a time limit too.” “Why do I need to cast it?” She looked at them quizzically.

“Because we do not have enough time to teach you to speak as I do, to act entirely as I do. So my concentration will be on making my words fall from your lips. Looks alone will not fool Raphael, but if we are cunning we can misdirect him. Now, take a good look at my form, and prepare your spell.” They handed her the paper and stepped back, taking but a moment to transform their glamour, the feminine form of the Archduchess now standing before Tav with wings spread. She did as she was bidden and took her time, examining Haarlep’s new body in as much detail as she could. They watched her in return, smirking at the colour rising from her cheeks to the tips of her pointed ears at the sight of their beautifully sculpted curves. “Now, cast it. We have only a few minutes remaining, Rat, but I must be certain you have got this right. I assure you he knows every inch of me~” they laughed, wings fluttering for a moment with an emotion somewhere close to pride. Tav read carefully from the scroll, shivering as the threads of magic wove around her, transforming her body into the perfect mirror image of the female Raphael. Wings and tail extended from her back, feeling both familiar and completely alien to her in a single moment. She flexed them carefully, testing the strength of the muscles and how they moved whilst Haarlep stepped aside to a wardrobe. “This feels…different.”

“Of course it does, but you shall have to get used to it quickly. Now, arms out, if you would, and step in here.” They held out the leather harness, identical to the one they usually wore but fitted to the feminine form. They were quick to fit it now, not wasting any time to arouse her senses but instead focused entirely on making sure not a single hair was out of place. “There, can you move freely?” Tav flexed her limbs, feeling the decadent pressure of the well fitted harness clinging to every curve so very perfectly. It was strange to have something on her body yet feel more undressed than she had moments ago. “It feels just fine. What next?” “Next,” Haarlep instructed, “you must make yourself comfortable on the bed. Appear entirely disinterested, no matter how you feel when he walks in through his little door.” “Wait, where will you be?” She asked over her shoulder, even as she walked towards the bed. “I, Little Rat, will be hidden until the time is just right.” They noted the look that crossed her face, as they began to walk away. “I will be watching , do not worry. He will not be permitted to go too far. Now, do remember everything that I taught you. I will give you the voice to speak to him, but you must use my body if you want to take everything from him. If you do well, I will make certain that you are well rewarded~” “Yes, Haarlep, anything you say.” Tav clamped her hand over her mouth in shock, the voice had risen from her without her permission.

Maybe, she thought to herself as she laid upon the silk sheets to wait for the master of the house, maybe I will do exactly what you suggested and take my own reward.

--- Raphael put the last of the papers in order, replacing the books upon their properly secured shelves. Plans of this magnitude were exhausting, and required meddling with powers that made even his skin crawl. And of course, that little Harlot had been up to something again. He felt it, of course, but at least this time they had known it wouldn’t be quite as inappropriate timing. Not that he would let his displeasure be any less evident. 

Truth be told, when he left, he hoped - despite the vile implication of the word - that Haarlep would be bored and do something about it. The master of the House of Hope himself had been agitated since the Little Mouse had crept into his personal bedchamber and allowed his incubus to… His brow furrowed. Haarlep had played him like a lute, plucking every string like a bard whose sole talent was to get on his every last nerve yet leave him frustratingly fucking satisfied . He wasn’t sure if it was the anger at his authority being disrespected or the excitement at what might be waiting that lit the fire under his feet, but he certainly picked up the pace as he locked the door to the library vault, stepped past the protective barriers, and waved his dimension door into place in front of him. He took just a moment to smooth down the silks of his shirt, inhaling deeply to fill his lungs deeper with rage before stepping back into his home. ---

“What took you so long?” Tav spoke, in Haarlep’s voice, in their feminine body. Her wings were spread out behind her, tail flicking slightly with mock agitation, as she swirled wine lazily in a glass barely bothering to look over at the new arrival. Just like Haarlep told her. “I can take as long as I wish, Harlot. And why, may I ask, have you chosen that body tonight?” He walked over casually, sitting on the other end of the bed. Tav’s heart quickened a little, it was…different, to see him like this. “Technically, it is my body, so I may decorate it as I wish. Or were you hoping I might have a different look for you to try out? Something decidedly more… rodent , perhaps?” She was suddenly glad that her skin was already bright red, the implication they made whilst speaking for her, from her… It was almost as exciting as the reaction she saw from Raphael. “Don’t be absurd ,” he snarled, just a little too emphatically to be believable, “that would mean you made a deal with her and I gave you no such permission.” “You didn’t?” Tav blurted out without thinking, but Haarlep quickly covered for her. “Why would you though? I wasn’t aware you thought so highly of yourself that you would need to give me permission to do what I like in my domain.” “Well, out with it then. What is it that you’re up to?” Raphael glared at her. Even with his human form’s eyes, Tav could feel the hellfire burning within him. For a horrifying moment she worried that he might see through her guise, but he merely raised an eyebrow awaiting the reply. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” She replied, her own obstinate streak leaking through and thoroughly enjoying the visible bristling in her sparring partner. Ah, this might actually be fun, to turn the tables… Alright, Haarlep, I agree. This will be its own reward. “Are we going to bicker all night, or do you have a point you’re going to reach eventually?” He was on the line between boredom and rage, the exact time that Haarlep had told Tav to step up the game. She drained the rest of her wine, offering him none and putting the glass on the table with a languid motion. “Undress. I tire of seeing your pompous silks hiding your body from me.” Haarlep added the words to her voice, the air of command coming so naturally from the sultry tones of the Archduchess’s form she wore. “Take your time, Archduke, entertain me as payment for keeping me waiting.”  ---

He hissed, the lines in his forehead deepening, but he obeyed like it was the most natural thing in the world. Tav watched closely, careful to maintain her air of indifference, as Raphael stood from the bed and began to loosen the fastenings of his finery. It was hardly the sultry display of a stripper, but Tav had missed the sight of him in their last…encounter…so she fully intended to savour the look of him. She licked her lips absent-mindedly as the top of his chest revealed itself to her.

“Pent up tonight, are we, Harlot ?” He continued to glare obstinately, whilst still doing exactly what had been asked. It was clear from the strain of the silks below his waist that he was entirely enjoying being ordered around, a realisation that further excited Tav. No, she would not be needing to steal a kiss from Haarlep to enjoy this . It was almost comical how many layers, ruffles, and clasps had to be undone and cast aside before Raphael was even halfway naked. However, when his trousers finally slid down to his ankles there was nothing left beneath. Well, nothing except- “On your back, if you please.” Tav’s mind blanked for a moment, not quite registering Haarlep’s next commands as they left her disguised lips, the memory of feeling him returning with a startling clarity. Her borrowed cambion tail swished behind her of its own accord. “I thought you were complaining this was too dull, human form, laying comfortably-” “I didn’t say you would be comfortable, Archduke .” Tav hissed, finding her own thoughts surprised her once again. She stood, moving to the side of the bed, looking for the items that Haarlep had set aside for her. The gag, of course, would not be needed. No, she wanted to hear every decibel of his reaction to her, and she did not mind hearing his voice one bit. “And you will remain in that form until I tell you.” Haarlep added to the order whilst she pulled out what she wanted, reminding Tav that she had the choice of when to have him change for her. “Not using your magic today, I see? What, too tired to bother?” Raphael glared, even as he lay prone, naked, and completely at her mercy. “You think you deserve that much effort? Know. Your. Place.” She brought her tail down like a whip on his inner thigh, eliciting a prolonged groan. Her aim was far from perfect, the limb still feeling foreign to her, but she was still delighted by the response. It made her bolder as she knelt on the bed above him, savouring the feel of the leather cutting slightly into her thighs and how small he looked beneath her. She stretched out her wings and dangled the leather cuffs before him. Raphael remained silent, not giving her the satisfaction of a fight now, simply waiting. That would not do. She whipped her tail around again, striking somewhere far more sensitive and eliciting something close to a yowl from the previously proud and composed fiend. But he did not use the word, his word, the one Haarlep had told her was just like her own. He did not want her to stop.

“Do not think to bore me, Archduke, or I shan’t bother even with this much, and you shall remain unsated.” Haarlep’s warning resounded clearly, even if Tav had no intention of following through with it. However, it seemed to have the right effect. “Whatever happened to romance?” he growled, giving her the slight satisfaction of a fight as he pushed his hips up towards her. “I didn’t give you permission to touch me yet, ” she purred, leaning down to put her lips to his ear as her hands worked the buckle of the strap viciously tight around his first wrist, “you will have to prove to me that you want it, that you can earn it, and then I might consider giving you what you want.” Her blood burned hot, almost like the body she inhabited was truly what it appeared to be, and relished the strained noise that escaped his throat as she bit his earlobe. “You,” the sound came from between gritted teeth, “are playing with fire.” “Water just isn’t as fun.” She whispered into his ear, securing the second strap around his wrist and pulling it almost cruelly tight. The cuffs were attached together by a sturdy metal ring connected to a chain. A chain which she yanked sharply upwards to test her control on his arms. “Well, Archduke, isn’t there something you want?” He strained his neck towards her as she sat back, keeping her lips just out of his reach, delighting at how hard he tried. His legs tried to seek purchase on the bed now too, desperate for any skin contact, but she denied him once more. “Bitch,” he seethed, “you always have to have it your way, don’t you?” “And that’s why you like it this way, Archduke.” Haarlep responded through Tav, as she hooked her feet over his legs to pin them down beneath her. “Aren’t you bored of always trying to win?” That time she wasn’t sure if she was playing the part, or genuinely asking for herself. Something she quickly corrected by remembering what Haarlep said before. “Isn’t it more fun when you lose ?”

“It might be nice to see you lose, for a change.” He muttered this time, straining at the bonds that held him as Tav traced along his jawline with a taloned finger. “Perhaps you just might,” she mused, more to herself than for his benefit. She had very much enjoyed losing herself to the pleasures Haarlep could bring, but this … This is what she wanted more. He was the one that would endlessly tease her, never dignifying her with her true name, only ever the nickname. She brought her tail down on his hip, drinking in his gasp as she dragged her teeth along the edge of his ear. He was the one that would flirt and try to seduce her with his mannerisms, peppered with hints of cruelty and threats. She let her lips brush past his, delighting at how he whimpered at being denied so much as a chaste kiss when she pulled away. He was the one that would constantly push her closer and closer towards a contract that clearly had too big a catch to agree to. She gripped his throat with a taloned hand, pushing his head onto the pillows as she rolled her hips to grind on his thigh. Who has control now, Raphael? Grand Archduke of Avernus, swaggering around like you own the place, and look at you. Putty in my hands. I could break you if I wanted to, but this… Oh this is so much better.

--- Haarlep was watching closely, carefully concealed, and utterly delighted. They hadn’t imagined they might draw this side out of the Little Rat, and once again resolved not to underestimate her in the future. She was…inspired. Clumsy, perhaps, but she was finding her footing, and they were impressed. They held a little toy in their hand, wondering how long it would be before it was needed - after all, if she did want to go further, the illusion would be broken if Raphael did not feel what she felt. A replica would be enough, and Haarlep was almost impatient to use it. __ Tav was relentless. Every time she gave Raphael the satisfaction of touch, she pulled back. She kept her hold over him, literally and figuratively, with the carrot and the stick. It was surprising to her, how much she was delighting in drawing out the torment, watching his body react in pleasure to the slightest of touches. Her tail whipped and cracked, covering his human form in tiny welts that radiated their pain like heat. Her lips and fingers caressed, even as her claws and teeth raked and stopped barely short of drawing blood. Raphael was utterly enveloped. He seethed at being denied release, strained uselessly at his own feminine cambion form towering over him holding him in place, and fumed at never being given permission to change to his own cambion form. “What do you want?” The leather of her crude outfit dragged over him, the brief contact driving him to madness even as she demanded an answer with his own glowing eyes. “You know what I want, Harlot .” He kept his pride even as he moaned at the contact when she pressed her hips down over his. “ Enough , are you not satisfied?” “Not until I hear you ask properly. ” Haarlep interjected through her voice, as Tav had already begun to remove the underwear preventing him from getting what he wanted. She held herself above him, waiting for the response, still gripping the chain attached to his bound wrists in one hand. “Well? What will it be? What. Do. You. Want?” Her own words took over, demanding what was expected, punctuating each with a lash of her tail over bruised flesh. “H-” He groaned as her free hand reached down to add to his torment. “I want to fuck you, Haarlep. Please. ” There it was, the plaintive whimper, the begging, the final nail in his coffin that told Haarlep they had won, every single time. Tav felt her wings, the wings of the Archduchess, quiver in response to hearing that name. A shiver of pleasure, a feeling of deep satisfaction and pride. “Good, good…you’ve done so very well, Raphael.” Haarlep allowed his name to be spoken aloud, Tav surprised to hear it leave her mouth, but knowing these words were also for her. The validation…it felt incredible. She shifted slightly and moved slowly, so slowly, drawing forth an extended noise somewhere between a whine and a growl as she allowed him to enter her fully. It was hard to hide her own reaction to feeling him, her borrowed form heating to a fever pitch with her own desire. Somewhere, unseen, Haarlep smiled.

Tav had always imagined Raphael to want control at all times, she had thought that if their dance from her “dream” were ever to continue that he would want to lead. His pride was as formidable as his ego, and he seemed loathe to even consider the possibility of losing. Especially to someone he saw as beneath him. She looked down as she began to ride him slowly, drawing out the sensations for them both. He didn’t see Haarlep as beneath him. That was clear now. Haarlep was not even an equal. They were the one being that had his respect, his trust, and admiration perhaps. In this room, no matter what words were spoken, Haarlep’s were the final ones. Feeling just a hint of that power was intoxicating. “More.” The wanton moan was another plea, he couldn’t do with just this. He needed everything . Not even permitted his full form, he was desperate for all he might be granted. Tav remembered more of Haarlep’s tuition, and brought her tail to his lips, wordlessly telling him her expectations.

Raphael’s lips and tongue caressed the tip of her tail, leaving it slicked and ready as she moved it back and sought entry, still a little clumsy as she tried to guide it in with her hand whilst still riding him. “Stay still, Raphael. Soon.” Haarlep commanded, the last word as an instruction to Tav. He gasped as the “Archduchess’s” cambion tail penetrated him, pressing and flexing, moving to find the exact point he needed-

Ah, there it is. She savoured the way he moaned beneath her, breathless, desperate, about ready to let go at any moment…except he had been commanded to remain still, by the one voice he could not refuse. It was almost cruel, but some things were worth the wait. She stopped her hips from moving for now, sliding her free hand between her legs to pleasure herself, teasing out the kind of orgasm that he was going to feel, pulsing, convulsing, gripping every inch of him as she was overcome with pleasure. Then right before the moment the climax could build to that shockwave, Haarlep gave one final command from Tav’s lips. “Transform.”

Just as the spasms of a hundred nerves and muscles began to cascade through Tav’s body, she felt something beneath her, inside her, changing. The expansion nearly drove her into a frenzy, and it was all she could do to hold the concentration for the spell that held her disguised form as the cuffs broke and Raphael finally moved of his own will. All the impatience, the teasing, drawing out the experience whilst denying him time and time again, it boiled to the surface. This was a side she hadn’t expected to see, but it delighted her. He gripped her hips with now free hands, using the leverage to slam hard into her over and over, selfishly pursuing his own release whilst inadvertently giving her everything she desired. She gripped his cambion horns, now standing proudly like a crown from his head, and pulled him into the kiss she had denied him before. She felt the need to devour him whole whilst being devoured, giving in almost entirely to a reality far more satisfying than any time she had dreamed of this. But even as they found release together, cascading headfirst into a shuddering bliss, she knew it wasn’t her that he wanted. Not her body that filled the room with his roar of pleasure. Not her voice that had easily brought him to his knees. Not her hands that teased every sensation from his body. Not her wings that shook in the afterglow, not her tail that withdrew from him still slick and glistening, not her lips that tasted of cherry and ash- “You were wonderful,” Haarlep spoke through her again, voice low, “if you’re not done, I have a treat for you…” Tav wasn’t entirely sure who the words were for, but she could feel a new rise from the cambion beneath her, in more ways than one. She sat back from him, taking at least a moment to get her breath as she reclined against the foot of the bed. She tried to keep up appearances, knowing Haarlep would not likely tire from anything less than a week long orgy, but it was difficult. Taking control was exhausting, the power that flowed through her had almost felt terrifying, yet even now it was hard to stop her legs shaking as she desperately desired more … Tav was glad that Raphael had his back to her when he turned to face Haarlep - well, not Haarlep precisely. 

Oh you devious bitch,  she thought as she looked at her own true body stepping into view, dressed in the exact same silken outfit that Raphael had conjured for her within her dream, I should’ve known you’d pull a trick like this.Haarlep put on an excellent show, looking apprehensive, yet refusing to flinch as Raphael’s own cambion tail flicked wickedly through the air. They would no longer be providing her words, either, but there would be no need for now. “What in the hells are you doing here, Little Mouse? And precisely how long have you been lurking in the shadows?” He demanded, wings stretching out in a display of attempted intimidation even as he was sat entirely naked and glistening with the evidence of their recent actions. It would have looked absurd, had it actually been Tav stood there defiantly. “I was invited,” Haarlep replied in Tav’s own voice, perfectly replicating her every mannerism with ease, “and I thought you would find it rude of me to turn down an invitation from your own hand.” You liar- Tav spat in her mind, but nevertheless deeply intrigued by the way Raphael reacted. This show was entirely for her benefit, she realised. She was close enough to see every little muscle twitch, the way he leaned just a little closer, how his arms moved just subtly to hide his growing arousal from the Tav standing across from him. Fine, she relented in her mind, I will thank you later, Haarlep… “So now you choose to respect social etiquette? You still ignored my second question, Little Mouse, exactly how long have you been there?” He was visibly bristling, but once again his anger blended beautifully with lust into an intoxicating cocktail. Tav understood exactly why Haarlep had planned all of this now. “Long enough.” Haarlep-Tav smirked, putting a hand on one hip to accentuate how the dress clung to the lines of their body, her body. “Is this what you wanted, Haarlep?” Shit, now I have to- “It fits you very well indeed. I must say he has fine taste, Rat, to keep that dress in your exact size.” Tav played her part as best as she could now, working out exactly how best to rile up Raphael further.  

“Of course, if you don’t want me here, I can just leave.” Haarlep began to turn away, forcing Raphael to act. “Wait.” He snapped, altogether too quickly to deny his interest in her beyond this. “If you wanted to leave, you could have done so before. What is it you really want?” He wove a swift spell in the air, a Zone of Truth settling around the faux Tav unexpectedly. Shit , the real Tav realised, they can’t lie now, only avoid the truth, which will make it more suspicious.

“I was interested.” Haarlep replied, carefully turning back to face Raphael now as he stood up almost uncomfortably straight, no longer caring about how much of him was revealed. “Interested doesn’t cut it. What do you want with me , Little Mouse? Is this what you desire? I can draw you out a contract in short order, if you’re that desperate. ” His tail swished more behind him, the mixed emotions fighting for control. Anticipation, frustration, and…the horrifying realisation that it was all coloured with the disgusting tone of hope. “I do not desire a contract from you.” Haarlep replied, truthfully both for themselves and their portrayal of Tav. “What is it that you want, though? You could’ve sent me away the moment I stepped into view, and yet there you are, keeping me right where you want me.” “You insolent-” Raphael stepped towards her, tail striking the floor, “how dare you presume to know what it is that I want!” He passed the barrier into the spell’s area now, glaring down at them. “Are you sure you can deny it now, Archduke ?” Tav cut in from behind them, still reclining in the form of the Archduchess, seeing the perfect opportunity to slide the blade of her words between his ribs. “I-” Raphael halted, the spell choking his lie. “You devious little- What is your game here, Haarlep?” He turned on his heel, while Haarlep gave Tav a loaded wink from where they stood behind him now. “I was bored,” Tav replied simply, “and so were you. This sounded like an entertaining idea. Do you disagree?” He faltered again, another question he could not answer without a level of honesty he was not ready to embrace. Behind him Haarlep wrapped their arms around him, caressing his chiseled muscles. “Come on, now, why don’t we have a little fun? I would love to dance with you properly this time. Don’t you want to be with me?” How much does Haarlep know about that dream? Tav didn’t have much time to consider the implications, immediately distracted by the hint of a groan from Raphael as Haarlep began to toy with his chest. She flinched, however, when his tail struck Haarlep’s rear. She felt it, just as surely as if she were wearing her own body. 

Haarlep simply grinned at her with her own smile. 

Oh, fuck.

“Why did you recoil when I-”... The realisation dawned on Raphael at about the same moment Haarlep shifted to their masculine form, strong arms now securing the master of the house in place, their hand holding his chin in place to force him to really look closely at the Archduchess he had just slept with.

“Why don’t the three of us work this out, on the bed.” Haarlep growled, now in their own voice, pressing against Raphael’s back while raking his chest with their claws. “We can have so much more fun now our toy is ready~” They caught Tav’s eye. “But don’t you lose your concentration just yet…I have always wondered what he might feel like to be utterly surrounded by himself .” Raphael bit his lip as Haarlep twisted his arms together in front him, securing them with a swift spell. Mending, with a little extra power to it, welded the broken cuffs into one piece, binding his hands clasped together in the twisted appearance of a prayer. Another gesture and a silent Mage Hand deposited a collar with a chain attached into their hand.

“Don’t. Move.” Haarlep whispered directly into his ear, causing the cambion’s wings to shudder as his incubus secured the collar around his neck like some kind of pet. “Wait.” They commanded, an unspoken command of quite the opposite also given to Tav. She sat up now, the first part of the game was over, but she still had an act to maintain. She stretched lazily as she stood from the bed, reaching the peak of her height, all three now technically reaching the exactly same scale and yet…Raphael looked smaller between them. Tav stalked towards him and raised his chin towards her with one claw, as Haarlep began to kiss his shoulders. “Tell me.” She spoke directly into his eyes with her own command. “Tell me that you want me. I will not touch you if you do not agree.” Raphael groaned at the conflict, the desire clear for all to see, but unwilling to allow the Mouse to catch the Cat…and yet… “Fine.” He relented, realising it mattered little when she had already taken so much of him that night, willingly given. “Not good enough, Archduke ,” Haarlep growled into his ear, “use your words, like a good pet .” “You absolute-” Raphael’s complaints were silenced by a pair of tails striking him in tandem. “ Fine. I want this, Little Mouse, and you better not disappoint me.” The echo of power and control he tried to cling to was barely a whisper when he was so utterly trapped between two hedonistic deviants drunk on lust, but he had done what was asked. Tav grabbed his horns and pulled him in to a kiss, finding her tongue met with the same fiery passion and a strangled moan when Haarlep bit down on his shoulder.

His body was entirely theirs, his desire for them both clear and emanating from him like the heat of Avernus itself. Tav took the chain that Haarlep passed her, pulling Raphael towards the bed. She walked backwards, tugging him along with her by the collar around his neck, until she was sat back on the bed with legs apart and waiting. Haarlep followed her lead and shoved the bound cambion to the ground, now truly looking like a heathen in prayer - hands bound and in the pose of supplication, knees on the floor ready for worship, entire body rigid with anticipation. “Go ahead,” Haarlep looked to Tav, “take everything you want and more. You have earned it.”

Looking down at Raphael on the floor, Tav felt another rush of intoxicating power. The permission and praise from Haarlep tipping the scales just as they intended. She pulled the leash, dragging his head towards her, thrusting his face between her legs with a single word to command him. “Eat.” It seemed the selfishness could be tamed out of him well, as the cambion did indeed follow the instructions. He even nudged at her thigh with his horns, silently suggesting she lift her legs over his shoulders to bring him in closer. She followed the direction, holding his shoulders tightly between her knees. — Haarlep took a moment to appreciate the sight. It was utterly decadent. Seeing the Archduke bent double, face buried between the thighs of his own female form, for once giving pleasure without being able to feel it in himself like he could if it were Haarlep laying there with his tongue thrusting within them. Their favourite little Rat was playing so beautifully, too, her gasps and moans with the voice of the Archduchess bringing a new level of excitement to them, erasing the last of their patience as they decided how to join in. — Raphael’s moan from between Tav’s legs was the most wanton noise she had ever heard. She glanced down and saw exactly what had drawn the sound from the lips that were still working hard to quicken her own breath.

Haarlep was on the floor behind him, one hand wickedly pulling the cambion’s tail, the other between their own legs just beneath the dress that had torn when they transformed…and their face was pressed right up to Raphael, clearly applying their own tongue with a level of skill that could impress a professional brothel. Raphael’s wings shuddered above him, stretching out as if to seek some kind of purchase to hold on to. He could feel everything from Haarlep, even as they touched themselves he felt their fingers caressing, pulling, clawing - 

Tav’s own cambion tail had been beneath her when she sat on the edge of the bed, which she now realised gave her a unique position as it brushed against Raphael’s torso unexpectedly. It wasn’t easy to use the foreign limb, but she was going to make the most of it whilst she still could. Raphael groaned again, the two seeming intent on tormenting him until the end of his days, but he could not ask for more …until he felt the false tail of his little mouse begin to caress him. The extra sensation of touch grasping his length even as Haarlep worked its twin with a skilled hand was almost entirely too much. 

“No,” Haarlep intoned from behind him, “no, not yet.” They quickly secured the leather strap at his base, tightening it to prevent his release. “Earn it.” Tav closed her eyes in ecstasy. There was nothing in this room besides red skin and hot passion, the blood in their veins turning to pure lust, undiluted desire pulsing through them all as they were connected mouth to body, skin to skin, drowning in bliss. As the only one with her tongue not currently completely occupied, she gave voice to their collective experience. — The halls in the House of Hope echoed with the feral howl of cambion lungs screaming out a climax that had Korilla checking her hair for pieces of the ceiling. She frowned at the archivist, who simply shrugged, assuming everything was proceeding without unwanted incident. He silently handed her a scroll that would bar further sound from leaving that unholy room, the unspoken understanding that this could last a few more hours yet and they did not have any desire to hear it any longer. The distance between the rooms should have been more than enough, but apparently the incubus had gone completely feral.

---

The sheer intensity and power had shaken Tav to her core, and her grasp on the spell’s concentration melted away as the aftershock continued to pulse through her, the leashed cambion between her legs still working his tongue with an unhinged greed. He could have devoured her, as her skin tone paled from the crimson tone, overpowered her as the tail and wings vanished around her, taken back control as the boost of strength from hardened muscles softened to her usual level. But he did no such thing. Instead, as Haarlep relented from their own work on him and dragged him up from between her thighs by his horns, Raphael only looked at her with a quiet expectation, a longing, and a new level of desire as he considered the far less familiar body of the elf on his bed. 

As an answer to the piercing gaze, Tav pulled the collar’s chain once more, pulling him close as she sat up now to reach his lips. She could taste herself on his tongue, hot, sweet, mingling with the cherry smoke that emanated from his very being. She wanted to devour him, and to be devoured in return. When they broke for breath, she caught Haarlep’s eye, realising they had been stood slightly back watching the two of them, idly massaging Raphael’s cambion tail. “Well,” they said, pausing to bite Raphael’s shoulder to remind him who was in control, “I believe that Raphael has indeed paid his proper respects to you now. Don’t you agree, Little Rat?” Tav could only nod now, seeing the shift in power now that she no longer bore the incubus’s form. She wasn’t even certain she could stand if she needed to, her legs quivered from the lingering tension of the control she had held with such thrill. She could have been drunk on that feeling alone, but it could not last forever. They had risen the fire in his eyes to a raging inferno, and now, as he would have said had he the presence of mind remaining to do so, “down come the claws.” ---

Raphael looked down at her, the Little Mouse, his Little Mouse… Her pale skin was flush with pleasure, hair a beautiful mess above eyes that almost glowed as she looked back at him. Perhaps he should punish her for having the audacity to participate in this little trick, perhaps he should deny her anything she ever asked of him, now or in the future. Perhaps he should just end her right now as she sat helpless, breathless, gazing at him with a pure lust that made his breath catch in his throat.

Haarlep reached forwards and disintegrated the cuffs that bound his hands, allowing him as much freedom as they were willing to give, but their claws on his back gave him the delicious reminder that he was never fully in charge here. Teeth grazed his neck as his own voice whispered in his ear. “You want her real body, do you not? Take it. She is practically begging for you to take over.” Raphael stepped closer to the bed, running his hands up from Tav’s knees to her hips.

“See, she shivers even now just from your touch. Take her. Show her how powerful you can be. ” Haarlep’s persuasion was hardly necessary, but their next move not only tipped the scales - it picked them up and launched them out of the window, weights and all. They changed into Tav’s form, using her voice directly into his ear, their tongue teasing along the edge just after. “I want you, Raphael-” ---

Tav wasn’t sure what the incubus had said in her voice, but it seemed to have sealed her fate. Raphael took hold of her legs, pulling her forwards to the edge of the bed as her back hit the silk sheets from the motion. The claws digging into her skin brought a delightful pain, the actions holding unspoken promises soon to be fulfilled. 

She saw Haarlep smirking at her with her own face behind Raphael, caressing his body in every way she would have…if he had not thrust inside her with a mindnumbing force. “That’s it, give her everything , make her understand which of you two holds the power. Watch her face, make her beg for more~” They talked low in his ear, though even if Tav could hear she would’ve had no chance to listen.

It was clearly difficult for Raphael to hold himself back from just racing towards his own conclusions, tempted to see how he might play this new game and finally claw out a win, even if he would still be second place to his mirror image.

Tav was held in place by strong crimson hands on her thighs. Their hips were pressed flush together, feeling completely and utterly filled…or at least so she thought until she saw Haarlep step out from behind the fiend, still wearing her body, whispering some new and clearly devious idea. 

The cambion kept a sadistic pace, slow but with strong motions, his eyes locked on the place their bodies met. His tail, however, was moving behind him, travelling the length of Haarlep’s leg, the sensation replicated in Tav’s own body from their proximity now. By the time the tip reached its goal and pressed inside, she was thrown into a fever pitched climax. It was almost unbearable, multiple muscles locking down around one real sensation and the phantom that came from Haarlep’s deal.

Raphael’s gaze had turned to her face now, seeing her head thrown back, hands clawing at silk sheets as if trying to hang on to her very sanity as the room filled with the sounds of their little game. It was…different, this was no performance, this was no incubus going through the motions just to feed like they had for centuries. No, his Little Mouse was here because she wanted him, she wanted this, and every time her muscles clamped down around him it was proof that he had the power to throw her into the very depths of infernal ecstasy. He cursed at the strap that still prevented his release, but did not yet want to relent. She could take more of him, as long as he chose. Haarlep was still beside him, remaining stubbornly on their feet even as he attempted to break them down with his tail. The incubus, however, seemed to have other ideas. “Go on, keep going, look at how her skin flushes so beautifully for you. You’re making art, music, and it is so very delicious~” They purred in his ear, running a hand down his spine, teasing those little places between his legs that ached for more. “Well? What do you have to say to me?” “Please-,” Raphael whined, before realising that wasn’t quite what they meant this time. “Thank you, Haarlep.”

“Oh you do play so very nicely~” If they had been in one of their usual cambion forms, their wings would’ve fluttered in the way they always did to hear their proper name spoken in the heat of passion, and the validation of praise was so rare too; Tav felt the shiver of delight travel up her spine, right where the Archduchess’s wings would have been.

The sensation was not entirely unnoticed by Raphael either, he began to increase his pace as Haarlep’s fingers worked inside him, their other hand casting a quick spell to dissolve the strap around his base that held him back.

All Tav could do was try to keep her quickly slipping grasp on her own mind. The sensations were powerful, overwhelming, so when Haarlep took their free hand to join Raphael’s cambion tail inside themselves she almost entirely crumbled. They were right when they said she would not need a single kiss from their aphrodisiac-infused lips to enjoy this, if she had tasted that particular passion today she may not have survived. The punishing speed and impact of every thrust made the bed shake, even the stone floor could not be entirely immune, and the walls echoed with every kind of lustful sound known to creation. By the time the final breathtaking orgasm ripped through all three of them, they were all about ready to collapse. Even Haarlep subtly leaned on the end of the bedpost, shifting back to their masculine cambion form to gain stability. Raphael stayed upright at first by refusing to release his vice grip on Tav’s thighs, staying flush inside her until the last heat of the afterglow faded, taking in every inch of the view of her completely undone on his bed. ---

“I believe,” Haarlep broke the silence once everyone was breathing normally again, “that we have earned ourselves a break for tonight.” Their eyes met Raphael’s with a silent instruction: you are still responsible, take care of her. They took the lead, stalking across the room with hips swaying, a delighted little flick of their tail. They were quite satisfied that their scheme had paid off, and the meal could sustain them for quite some time…but the other two would need to rest. They prepared the lotions and soaps, turning back to check on their prizes. Raphael had relented, throwing Tav’s arm over his shoulders with his own wrapped around her waist, his tail gently supporting her upper back just in case. He wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of being carried, not if she was still able to walk, but he also was not about to let her legs collapse beneath her as they seemed likely to do at any moment. For her part, Tav felt…well, perhaps it was too soon to work out what was going through her mind, if anything was going on up there at all. Her body was a mess, muscles feeling like they were still vibrating and pulsing, heart rate stubbornly refusing to return completely to normal. Much as the fiend’s support was helping her cross the cool stone floor to the bath area, feeling his warmth and strength so clearly was doing nothing to calm her body and emotion. By the time her toes touched to cooling waters, she let out an audible sigh, ready to sink down and be healed.

Haarlep was already seated, laying back, but gestured towards the pair now entering the healing pool. “Here, with me.” Raphael followed the instruction, helping Tav to sit next to Haarlep now, taking his own seat the other side of her and relishing the feeling of the water on the welts and bruises she had peppered him with earlier. He still had no idea how he felt, going only by instinct as he sat back and put his arm around her waist again, pulling them closer. His wing extended behind her, almost possessively, as he used his free hand to caress her shoulder idly. On the other side, Haarlep grinned. They slid their arm around her waist from the other side, caressing Raphael’s where they passed, their own wing stretching just that little bit higher behind the other two as if claiming them both. Their other hand tenderly massaged Tav’s aching thigh, savouring the soft whisper of a moan from her lips. The three would remain there for a while, resting, recovering, and basking in the aftermath of a night of pure satisfaction. Tav even found herself washing Raphael’s hair, something he seemed to secretly delight in as she used her nails to massage to the roots around the base of his horns. 

By the time she stepped back through the shimmering doorway to the Inn, the sun had risen and so had her companions. Fortunately, the healing pool had left her feeling completely rested and restored, though making up a story about where precisely she had been would prove more challenging than any of the battles they would face that day. ---

The room felt emptier after the Little Mouse left to return to her usual plane, the mirrored images of Raphael and Haarlep left reclining upon their separate armchairs. Raphael could’ve spent an hour or more berating his incubus, for tricking him, for using up valuable scrolls, for allowing his prey to see him completely vulnerable-

It didn’t matter though. 

Curiosity might have “killed” the cat, but satisfaction brought him back.

----------- ----------- ENDING NOTES ----------- -----------

Can I ever write anything short for these three together? Absolutely not, virtually impossible, might as well ask me to cease using any BDSM in my fics (that will never happen I want to lean further into that one) There may well be a side story series in the future of various characters visiting our dear incubus, so do feel free to drop suggestions on that one~ For now though, ATG will be moving away from the cambion and his incubus again for a while in the main story to keep me from writing exclusively about them. They have the prequel for that~

[aesethewitch]

I'm sorry for bothering you..again

Since you can't make the spell maybe you can Astral project to Toyoko Mew Mew's HQ and ask the person who turned people into magical girls?

Idk if you don't wanna do it can you just tell me how to make spells that actually work?

Hi again!

I don't really do astral projection in general. I can, but it's not my strong suit. It's certainly not something I would do on someone else's behalf. Projecting to a "real version" of a fictional universe is impossible. You could perhaps build a version of a fictional universe within your astral realm, or visit someone else's construction of a fictional universe, but it wouldn't be The Real Thing.

You're extremely unlikely to become an "actual" magical girl. Witchcraft can't make something that's physically, materially impossible come to pass. It can have incredible results, of course (why else would we practice it, right?), but those magical transformations and sparkles aren't real. It isn't possible, unfortunately -- it'd be so fucking cool if it was. I'd be all over that.

Working in a pop culture magic context is a valid way to do magic, though! If you have a passion for magical girls, I really would strongly recommend doing a search here on Tumblr for magical girl pop culture witchcraft, magic, and paganism. It's an incredibly interesting way to do magic! (You might find instructions for altering your Astral Self to be more like your ideal of a magical girl -- which would be the closest you'd get to the Real Deal. Just be wary of "shifting" type blogs.)

As for making spells that actually work, my advice would be to find a system that works for you. In the kindest way possible, I cannot do your research and learning for you. Magic and witchcraft are learned skills that you've got to develop for yourself. My paradigm (the framework through which I view the metaphysical world and perform magic workings) won't necessarily work for you.

First step is to figure out your best source for magic. For some folks, magic comes from within themselves. For others, it's a gift from their deities or spirits. For others, it comes from nature. For still others, it comes from the astral plane. The key is to figure out what's best and easiest for you to "hold on" to make the changes you're wanting to make. Give it a good, solid think. Try some stuff, see what works best.

For me personally, I find the best results in directly manipulating the metaphysical, energetic ties that exist between all things. These "strings" tie Thing One to Thing Two. After years of practice, I'm able to reliably tug on these strings to create change.

Try things out. Borrow spells from blogs and websites and books. Dabble. Test different ingredients. If a jar spell didn't work, what if you burned the ingredients instead? Or what if you dressed a candle? Or made a meal with the same/similar ingredients? So on and so forth. I have a post I wrote awhile ago about making substitutions and changes in spells that illustrates the point more thoroughly (which you can read here, if you like).

As I said, I can't do your learning for you. There are witchcraft 101 posts, books, podcasts, and other sources all over the place. Browse the beginner witchcraft tag, for example -- you'll find all sorts of basic guides from all sorts of viewpoints. Check out the astral projection tag or search for beginner astral projection tips.

If you like podcasts, @/breelandwalker's podcast Hex Positive is really solid for beginners. On YouTube, the Witch of Wonderlust, HearthWitch, the Green Witch, and the Norse Witch are also pretty solid creators whose work I've enjoyed. Books... I cannot recommend, since I honestly don't read a lot of witchcraft books (alas!).

It's up to you to find the things that are going to work for you. I'm happy to give tips, answer questions, and offer my perspective, but it isn't a substitute for doing the actual work for yourself. I do wish you luck!

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Hi, I just need some nice words and someone who listens and doesn't judge.

Complicated life-story etc. at some point I suspected I am a system so I was doing a lot of listening inside myself, writing down symptoms that could indicate it etc. It is still not super certain to me, there is no communication to any alter that I would swear isn't just a thought-voice. But I am relatively certain and can I say, happy about it? I once sent in an ask here and you said "If you think you'd profit from being a system, you most likely are one" and this has really stuck with me and elevated a lot of my guilt, because I would feel better if I was a system.

And here comes the problem: I started therapy for CPTSD, and my therapist doesn't know about my suspense (yet). Last week, she made an allegory (or metaphor? Help) about one of my symptoms. It is one of the symptoms I use as (internal) "proof" for my DID-suspence.

She said: "When you are very angry (i.e.) you might see the world completely different, as if you'd wear colorful tinted glasses." And it was literally the same example I would use when describing it to myself. (When I was a child, my uncle gifted me orange-tinted glasses, and I wore them the whole winter when I was feeling low because it was so dark outside. I tricked myself into believing there is sun. So, this literal example is so close to me).

But like, I literally feel like another person, that I can't really relate to, their though-processes etc, sometimes I feel completely seperated from it and can just watch and wonder (and cringe and try to stop myself).

But since she explained this symptom as normal trauma symptom, with literally the same image, I am questioning myself again. I mean, at the end of the day, I do have DID or not. But just the thought that it might not be the case makes me feel so lonely and vulnerable.. Idk...

Hi anon,

Regardless of whether or not you are a system, those who are first considering the possibility of being plural will not have good communication with any of their parts if at all, and many times parts don't feel comfortable making themselves known until much inner exploration is done. It's not like a light switch where suddenly you can see all your parts and communicate back and forth with complete clarity. That's a muscle that needs to be exercised slowly over time.

I understand that fear of being alone inside. You've been through so much that it's daunting to think about having to process that all by yourself. Being a part of a larger network of parts helps distribute the weight and responsibility more evenly, giving you a fraction of relief. Of course you'd want that. It's hard to consider the possibility that you really are the only one, and it must be frustrating that the answer remains unclear.

It's been about a month since I was diagnosed with OSDD (still trying to comprehend that), and I'm by no means a professional, but I resonate with a lot of what you shared. If you can, I do recommend getting a professional opinion about all of this, especially someone who is experienced or specialized in dissociative disorders (that can be kinda hard to find). They can give you a much more educated opinion and could even evaluate you for OSDD or DID if that's something you're considering.

I also don't know if I suggested this to you in the past but the CDD discord server is a great place to ask plural-related questions and reassurance. Thosey are always happy to help people figure out what's going on in their brains and whether or not an experience is a system thing or not.

I hope I could help. You're welcome in our inbox anytime.

-Bun