#I came earlier but now I want to again
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Blow job + butt plug = tonssss of cum apparently 🥵🫠😵💫
#that was so fucking hot#daddy came so much in my mouth I literally couldn’t swallow so I had to spit it all out to show him how much it was and we were both like#god DAYUM#😵💫😵💫😵💫#about daddy#about me#personal#unf#I came earlier but now I want to again#🥵🥵🥵#cream writes
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do you think the reason agatha’s trial felt weird is because she was the only one who did not actually buy into the mythos of the road since she knew the truth? like that was why no perspective change and all the other reasons why people thought it was a fake trial
#agatha all along#aaa spoilers#txt#i really liked the idea behind how the witches road came to be#like showing her and nicky coming up with the lyrics and everything#but i felt like there was a lot of these last two episodes that felt weird or jarring#i think that’s partly the fault of it being such a short run time for the whole show in general (tbh that’s probably like most of it)#but there were just also weird choices? idk#like jen’s big declaration about protecting them in honor of Lilia or w.e and then just.. flying off to nowhere??#or the way Both billy and agatha kept switching how they felt about each other with like every sentence#I did really like her thing where she helped him get tommy a body though#and her and rios vibes were off too. like it felt like there should have been a little more build up before they fought after the road?#like when they were still talking on the road it felt like they could have done more with it#just like jen getting her powers back could have been more#or billy standing up for agatha could have been more#billy’s homecoming and attempting to banish agatha too#I liked that his parents were there but it was so quick and then he just.. leaves again?? no problem?? and I guess they’re fine with it now#like it felt like the things they did well. they did really well#while everything else felt.. idk.. kinda flat?#which honestly was the same feeling I had after watching agatha’s trial episode#honestly this show need at least another 3 or 4 episodes if not more#and I know people are going to make this all about agatha and rio but i really don’t think that’s the issue#i do think the story could have benefited more from showing more of their actual backstory or a few more interactions with them or just#like i said earlier done more with what they had. again that scene on the road before rio dips could have been used way more effectively#and I don’t mean in like having them be soft or lovey like I know a lot of people wanted (never be against that) but I don’t think it was#needed.. but Something was??#i feel like overall what everyone went through on the road didn’t actually truly effect them or change them?#like jen left. agatha and rio were like back to liek the road never happened. everyone else but billy is dead#i think the only person who was truly changed was maybe billy?#which makes the whole journey feel so unsatisfying? like things could still have ended the same while still showing them changed? idk
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New game interest unlocked
(crow in bottom right belongs to @patchwork-crow-writes)
#ramarl#phantasy star online#long tag warning lol i rambled#so i was introduced to phantasy star online#i think its safe to say i really enjoy the game#thank you mr crow for showing me this game :D i have new creatures to scribble now#there shall be more of these doodles#i promise you that#meant to post this wayyyyy earlier today but uh#my car broke down :') ....again :')#last week it wouldn't turn on and the headlights weren't working so we were like ''ok this is a battery issue and i need a new one''#because jumping the car didnt fix it#so we took my old battery to a shop and they tested its charge before showing us which new one we should get#but the battery had charge???????? so we went back home to troubleshoot#and then found the hooks(?idk what they're called) that connected the battery to the car had something corroded on them#so we grabbed a can of coke and scrubbed away#hooked the battery back up and bam car was working#so the issue was those hooks#until two days ago when my car didnt work again#looked at the battery again and the hooks came loose; tightened them up and bam car working again#and now at this point I'm scared to go anywhere cause what if i get stranded on my own??#so this morning i said ''alright I'm gonna drive myself to church just to be sure that my car works''#AND WOULD YOU GUESS WHAT HAPPENED#at this point i just wish the damn battery was dead and that i could replace it and move on from this#i know they're a bit pricey but jesus this is exhausting#but i can't just buy a new battery if im not sure that's the actual problem because then I'd have a battery and nothing to do with it#i hate having a car sometimes i just want a bus system#or a jeep#but preferably a bus system#sorry rambles thats a long way of saying i didnt post this earlier because ive been working on my car lol
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haha dude it’s been so long, we gotta catch up!! I need to tell you about how hard it’s been to keep going
#lemon man talks#It’s been so hard lately#you can ignore everything I say from this tag forward#I’ve been so. Excluded by everyone lately#My friend got out of class earlier today and just passed straight through me and didn’t say bye#She said bye to the friend behind me and the teacher#I was right there between them but she ignored me#They have barely talked to me the last few months#And my reaction to people showing they don’t want my presence is self isolating#And I’m so lonely#i feel so lonely right now#And on top of that my father is getting more aggressive#He might start hitting me and my brother again#He might take away my crumbs of liberty again#He could do anything and I wouldn’t be able to react#I’m so scared#and of course my friends don’t know about that because they don’t talk to me anymore#Today I was sitting in front of them during recess#They were talking about a concert they went to together#They didn’t bother to tell me about it#The conversation was just for them#but they came to ask me about chemistry because I’m decent at it and they asked for my sharpener#Friendship. Yay#All my other friends are away#One of my best friends just moved to another continent and the other is busy with possibly the most important tests of her life#i’m so lonely#my father decided yesterday night to change a big part of my routine#I went to sleep extremely anxious and I was already going to wake up a lot earlier today#And this resulted in me waking up at 3am and throwing up and not being able to sleep again#So of course I’m also exhausted
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even when my guts are rearranging themselves (not even in a sexy way) i am still forced to postpone my prince moding to accommodate the instability in the house <3
#mental illness innit#sister literally came in screaming when the dogs barked at her -> demanded her meds in tears -> left the house again#and my little sister left just. a ton of loose medicine and jewelry on the floor of the room my other sister's kids are sleeping in tonight#leaving my dad to micromanage the emotional blowback from my mom hitting a breaking point earlier#and the 3 of us at home to gut the now-guest room and make it habitable#i am tiredddd i want to sip my broth and go to bed#shouting into the void here
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it’s finally getting cold enough that i can bring my cardigan collection back into rotation without feeling like i’m gonna melt into a puddle the second i step outside!!!
#Seven.txt#my face#i have rematerialized back out of the void to once again make my once-in-a-blue-moon selfie & life update post#i’m running on 4 hours of restless sleep and the single banana i ate for lunch earlier today. let’s do this#hrrrrg i hate the lighting in my bathroom but i refuse to take pictures in the absolute Mental Illness Disaster Zone™️ that is my bedroom#anyways. got diagnosed with Mystery Pain Syndrome at the dentist today. so now i take ✨steroids✨#the less funny explanation is that my tooth still hurts with pressure nearly a month post-root canal and That’s Not Good#so we’re trying some new medications to see if that fixes it. and if not then who knows. root canal pt.2 the sequel. or extraction. sigh#and so the Dental Saga continues. todays visit went quite well in spite of the unforeseen mystery pain delaying the tooth-shaving plans#we had some time to kill so he managed to fill some of my other tiny cavities while i was there today so that’s good#okay moving on. what else. uhh. OH they finally came out and ran the fiber to the house last week!!! now i’m just waiting on one more-#-guy to come and finish the interior install and the long awaited fast internet will finally be mine eheheheheeeee#now i can feel my hours upon hours of unedited gameplay footage breathing down my neck :)#man i’ve got so much stuff piled up right now. i’m drowning in Tasks and it’s a lil overwhelming but i’ll handle it all! eventually#uhhhhm my current writing project is coming along well! i’ve never put so much time and effort into a oneshot before in my life#its a labor of love though and i think i’m gonna be really proud of myself (and the fic) once it’s complete#even if no one reads it bc it’s so goddamn self indulgent and kinda lowkey throws canon out the window but like. fuck it!#if i want Astarion to write a song on piano and perform it for me while mentally taking me on a trip down memory lane. then so be it#fr though i’ve never written anything quite like this and i rlly want to do it justice. even if its unrealistic i still want it to be Good#in other news i received word that one of the chickens i sponsor at my local Gentle Barn has passed away so i had a lil cry abt that#i feel so bad for his little tiny chicken wife. they obviously loved each other and it’s like. so sad when one half of an old couple dies#like. she pulled him out of his depression after his 1st wife died. now who’s gonna be there to pull Her out…#anyways let’s not get all sad about that again. in happier news my cat who i presumed died/got killed has returned home uninjured!!!#after that huge stray dog chased her into the woods i thought we’d never find or see her again#but then the morning after i started grieving her she showed back up hungry as hell yet completely unharmed like the enigma that she is#so that’s one definite highlight from earlier this month. uhh what else. rapid fire summary of the past few weeks let’s go-#Jersey turned 10! Bullet turned 10! my 6 year Veganniversary happened! i’m approaching 700 days on DuoLingo!#i’ve written more than 20 thousand words! i’ve been facing some fears! fighting my OCD! taking care of myself! (kinda!)#anyways things are far from being all sunshine and roses around here but i’m trying to focus on the good stuff for the most part#for now tho i have a headache and have reached 30 tags so it’s time to go shovel some mashed potatoes into my mouth :)
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my brain has been offline since I woke up. apologies to my work inbox but the only thing I’m capable of today is hugging my hot water bottle and scrolling tumblr
#a very hearty thank god it’s Friday and I’m working from home#the colleague from earlier this week whom I told to not talk to me again until March#came back insisting on talking to me#so my boss had to step in like ‘no we will not discuss this now please come back in march’#said colleague did not listen and came back AGAIN#so I mustered my diplomacy skills and emailed them back like ‘ok. why don’t we take these thirteen people out of copy and have a showdown’#to which they did not reply#they might come back about it today though who knows#but my boss teams’d me yesterday to say ‘that was more reasonable than what I wanted to say thank you’#god why is work like this.
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I'm starting to feel like an old man. There's a family across the street lighting up fireworks and all I want to do is shout, "Shut the fuck up!"
#seriously I want to know why they are shooting fireworks so close to an apartment (actually still in the apartment parking lot) at 10pm#they did it earlier around 8pm too which wasn't too bad#but then they left and CAME BACK#scared the crap out of me because I was unfortunately on the porch when they started up again lol#giving me a headache ngl#cell rambles#I think they are done now? idk they also left earlier so who tf knows
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my manager is WAY too fucking nice to me im gonna explode
#emeto tw#emeto cw#in tags ->#i started having a panic attack at work earlier but i didnt really get the chance to go in back and chill for a bit so it just got worse#like REALLY fucking bad worse than ive had in . at least years maybe Ever. i have not thrown up in over a decade now but#i started fucking dry heaving behind the register i REALLY thought i was going to be sick it was a close thing#i couldnt even call my coworker up i just had to fucking dip and pray she realized i was gone (she did thank fuck)#and then i was shaking really bad really freaking out still fucking dry heaving in the back of the store and it was just.#easily one of the worst experiences ive had in a LONG time like december will not leave me alone <- covid then appendicitis and now this WH#and my manager hadnt been in the store at the time but she came in thru the back and saw me and i was like hey haha funny story#and she was so concerned and told me to stay in back as long as i needed and that i could go home if i wanted to etc etc#ended up bringing my bag back for me and bringing me water and she checked in on me every 5-10 mins until my parents finally got there#she was rly nice and rly understanding and then the coworker i abandoned who is also kind of my manager. also came back#and SHE was ALSO super fucking sweet about it really concerned didnt want me to feel bad abt it (i feel so fucking bad abt it)#i did end up having to go home early bc. dear god. and i texted my manager just now asking if i could leave a bit earlier tomorrow#bc im supposed to have another 8 hour shift but i didnt even make it to 4 hours today and im rly nervy abt it happening again#and she straight up was like 'are you sure? i was genuinely planning on covering your shift myself' SHE DOESNT EVEN WORK UP FRONT#SHE'D BE GOING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN THE REGISTER AND KITCHEN AND SHE'D BE THERE FOR AT LEAST OVER 12 HOURS#like okay. okay. when i texted my parents abt it dad told me 'its probably just nerves. try to push through it'#but my manager and coworkers r gonna be the sweetest kindest most understanding people about it. okay. sure. okay.#surely u see why i am exploding WHY ARE THEY SO NICE?????????? i feel so fucking guilty GOD#alyalyoxenfree
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I am going to make it thru this week even if it kills me I am GOING TO MAKE IT THROUGH THIS WEEK REALLY IM going to make it through this week
#when Dean Martin said I can't remember a worse December' in that one Christmas song.... he really gets it#this entire month has had me in such a strong chokehold that it's fucking with my BODY like new grey hair serious hormonal acne#breakthrough bleeding (literally the same day that I told my doctor my new birth control was going great and I hadn't had any)#like#between political stressors. the ceiling inexplicably leaking in my bedroom. having to do all the middleman work between the maintenance man#and the people who live above me to get it fixed#and ordering three (3) things to be shipped to my apartment only for the USPS to decide that I don't actually live here??? and send ALLL OF#THE PACKAGES BACK TO WHERE THEY CAME FROM and having to communicated with 3 different customer service people each one with increasing diffi#difficulty to get the things shipped BACK to me only for one to arrive and be shipped BACK AGAIN !!!A-FUCKING-GAIN because they have the#AUDACITY to say that my unit is vacant?????? despite the fact they actually managed to get one if he other three things delivered to me#earlier in the same week and I left a handwritten note on the mailbox for my unit saying that I really do live there and pls stop fucking#with my mail you're driving me crazy mr mailman#and now having to upend my entire bedroom and put away. cover or hide all my stuff so it doesn't get covered in drywall dust while they fix#the water damage on my wall with no idea or conception of how long it will take for them to be done#AND#the stuff I used to treat the hormonal acne breakout on my chin has helped the cystic acne calm down but has ALSO severely fucked up my s#skin and so my chin is just really red and flaky and quite frankly ugly as fuck. just in time for the holidays when I do sort of want to#look cute for my familly and have some minute bit of self confidence but noooooo I can't have that#I feel horrible for whatever poor postal worker is going to have to hear about my mail issues because I used up all my paitience dealing#with the maintenance man and I really don't think I have much professionality and tact left in me#I understand that all these issues on their own are pretty minor but collectively they're really fucking wearing on me#I feel like im forgetting one#maybe it's when someone tried to switch the utilities for my apartment into their name not once but TWICE#but I feel like there was something else#oh wait yeah also my lil Christmas party with friends was supposed to happened but got cancelled bc one of my friends has Covid :))#and I DO work with her and I HAVE seen her all week and the way my luck is going I'll probably end up with Covid for christmss#aaaaaand my OTHER friends birthday celebration was supposed to be the next day but that got cancelled TOO because of The 'Vid#so all I did was stay in the house all weekend grind on Christmas gifts get high/drunk and watch movies#which.... not bad but I do miss my friends#and I'm sad that they're sick right before the holidays like that has to suck so much
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#today sucked. my family was terrible and dinner was terrible and i tried to feel Anything to help decorate but between my family and dinner#i couldn’t. and i wanted to go home but i knew going back to and empty house would be miserable. and now im going to bed at 10:30 on a#saturday to do it all over again tomorrow. and this week is so busy and i think the hunting for sport feeling came crashing in on me in the#middle of feeling embarrassed earlier and then my best friends girlfriend caught me crying over my sister which added to the embarrassment#best friends brothers girlfriend*#i was already feeling from earlier bc of money issues and it’s just. life can be. so exhausting sometimes#i’m just tired. i wanna lay in my bed all day tomorrow. i wanna lay here until i become one with the bed#until moss grows over me. alternatively i want to run away from everyone and everything and start an entirely new life and be a new person#that nobody knows. that i don’t even know. just a clean slate of a human being w no ties to anything#vent
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oh my god this is an actual gender crisis. jesus christ okay
#i havent felt this since 2014#ive fluctuated a tiny bit over the past 8 years but ive always been very confident in my lack of gender#and as a kid i assumed everyone was playing at gender... in 2014 i learned that people were serious#and i was the outlier#and now. um#oh god#i don't even know if i do have a gender? but im thinking it might be possible. which is kinda very fucking unsettling#cause okay. bear with me here#while i personally understand and recognize that peoples genders can change#and that being nonbinary is a legit thing and not some kind of 'confusion' or 'placeholder'#theres a large part of me that is suddenly having to come to terms with the fact that maybe i DO have a gender#and if i chose to act on that thought#then i would eventually want to come out... including to my family. again.#and i dont want them to assume that me being nonbinary was a phase#cause like. even if it is/was a phase... it is/was a phase that has lasted for 22 fucking years#and i want that to be respected#and im actually feeling a bit panicked#and ive never felt settled with my name in my entire fucking life#and earlier this evening one came to mind. its not even a name i feel any particular way about.#but it almost felt.... right. and its a very gendered name. and im kinda rattled#fuck that im incredibly rattled#and i kinda want to talk about it cause last time i dealt with this stuff it was just a relief and this isnt this is stressful#but my friend and i are far apart and i want to talk in person i think#so i have to wait several weeks#and idk if thats good enough#im unsettled. im fucking unsettled#tree talks
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….
#✨blazing vent#gonna delete later#just wanna write this off and guess what the juice is about#i said earlier i did anything to stop loving yusei but couldnt#well…honestly I feel empty#rn there were some posts that made me go…why do i love him i dont want my heart to be hurt again and again#and then bullfinch artworks came by underneath them and…he made me smile#my feelings for yusei are always up and down and#i hate that he is the main character i hate how…#ik haat het hoe hij en zij elke keer opnieuw en opnieuw worden gebracht als the geweldig koppel#veel mensen zijn zo diep bovenop die ship en het is zo aaarrrgghhh#excuse my dutch but argh thats one thing I hate about 5ds#i know lets rewrite canon story but for now I dont see it
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Putting this here instead of in the tags because I think I can be more articulate here
By the "newer stuff" I assume you mean the NewWho as a collection and not just NewNewWho (Which will from now on be shown on disney+ for Americans I believe) (NewNewWho may not be what it's actually called, but that's what I'll call it)
For context:
Classic Who: is the fandom name for classic Doctor who, the first TV show about it, from the 60s to like the 90s I think? I am not an expert, someone can fact check me, anyway contains the doctors 1-8
New Who: is the fandom name for the continuation of Doctor Who that started in 2005 by the BBC, making Christopher Eccleston the first doctor shown (but is the 9th doctor) until 2022
New New Who: (may be) the fandom name for the 2023 doctor who, which will be shown on BBC iplayer AND Disney+ (for any Americans only)
All 3 are the same show, but just from different time periods
So, if you want to get to know the "New doctor who" I would recommend starting with New Who, (which is just called Doctor Who) starting with 9 (Christopher Eccleston). New Who is around 13 seasons
Don't worry about not understanding New Who if you haven't watched Classic Who, a lot of fans first started watching New Who first because of how easy it is to find, and so the first season explains everything you need to know to watch Doctor Who. I personally have only watched New Who (so far)
I also think New Who is much easier to watch as the episodes are timed well and the plot lines don't typically drag too much (in comparison to Classic Who) so it's a good watch
As I think you are American and live in America currently (? I do not know) I would possibly suggest some.... different than streaming services way of watching New Who (hint hint questionable sites) just because I don't think there is a way to watch it legally in America (I could be wrong)
However if you are living in the UK you can watch it on BBC iplayer very easily, it's a free service and you just have to make an account and say you own a TV licence and that's it
I hope this explains everything (I may have missed things so if there are any questions feel free to reblog asking)
Hi any people who enjoy doctor who I want to get into the new stuff where do I start from?
#i really do hope this explains it well#rebloging#doctor who#new who#i am loving the doctor who hype right now#i do recommend to any who sees this post to maybe try it out#it might not be your thing and thats alright but i enjoyed it which surprised me#its a wonderful show (that also has cool gay representation that IS ACTUALLY SAID OUTLOUD!)#again if you have any questions feel free to reblog asking#i hope my tone came across well here i am very excited to possibly gain more doctor who fans!#welcome to the community of fans!#OH and also if you dont want to watch all the seasons i would still recommend watching the earlier seasons#some people didnt watch 13 or 12's seasons#i still vote you watch them (if you have the time) but they arent THAT necessary and some episodes from that point have some bad writing#but still if you dont want to watch THAT many episodes you can use ask people if they can give some episode suggestions that you might like#“Blink” from season 3 is an excellent option as its many people's favourite (so you can see if you may enjoy the show)#ive also seen it may be on Amazon if you have that!
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day 3 of my indentured servitude: already getting annoyed at my temporary coworkers and having to stand next to them for 8 hrs a day. theyre both middle aged women, one of which has more attitude than the other. like godddddddd idk why its so normalized for people to be rude for no reason why does nobody have manners. they're not horrible, but its just like little passive aggressive comments all day and im like 😑 girl im not even getting paid and i don't want to be here. im literally so overly polite to them all the time too bc thats just who i am as a person like idk how people can be sassy to people who literally have not wronged them.
#personal#it's not that bad i just had a bad day today#and i havent had a day off since thursday and its now wednesday#and i still have to work two more 10 hr unpaid shifts until my 1 day off#killing myself#i wish this wasnt a serious job so i could microdose to make it more bearable#but i am definitely not taking that risk#lord have mercy on my tired flat footeded soul#im literally standing the whole day w my flat ass feet#i went to an orthopedic dr once for a running injury back when i did cross country#they looked at my feet and went oh my god you have extremely flat feet#i was like oh i didnt realize it was that bad LOL#so im standing all day on my malformed feet literally jumping from foot to foot bc of the pain#i need new sneakers if i dont want my feet to fall off#then the one pharmacist has arthritis i later learned and i had asked to sit down earlier in the day bc of my flat feet#so then i felt like an idiot bc she literally has arthritis and is standing#but also like girl why tf are you standing all day if you have arthritis#we should both be sitting lmao#but then the other pharmacist came in for the day and immediately took ky terminal so i just put the chair away and stood anyway lmao awkwa#and literally why are people so obsessed w drive thru pharmacies it literally makes it take 10x longer than just coming inside#its not that hard to park a car and walk inside 10 feet like what#just a tag rant of an accumulation of why i am in a bad mood today#i am also so tired bc i have a circadian rhythm disorder#i need to start taking my stimulant again but i also dont want to bc it makes me too awake and i also love coffee and want to drink it#but i feel like im on meth if i take my stimulant and drink coffee#i need to ask my lady to lower the dose#but it definitely helps bc otherwise i literally feel like i could fall asleep at any moment its great#and my eyes literally burn from keeping them open#i love my body failing me#i also love having a job that pushes my body to its limits
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rambling below cut
Six great nights in a row (!!!!!!), then one not-so great night last night... 😵💫
I'm still coping a lot better than I normally would though. A similar situation would've turned me into a mess not too long ago, but this time it just felt like a minor blip. So I think I still deserve to be proud of myself. I wish I could prevent nighttime panic episodes altogether but at least I've gotten better at pulling myself out of them before they blow up too badly. I've figured out how to soothe myself without going into catastrophe mode. Plus I was able to finish something I was working on last night so now I'm able to go on a break until the end of the month (and honestly the work hanging over my head might have been one of the major factors contributing to my panic last night, so luckily I don't have to worry about that anymore).
Tonight will definitely go better since I figured out what went wrong and know how to tackle it. I just have to put in a little extra time for self-regulating and winding down (which should be easier since I got rid of one of my stressors already, and I've been keeping my healthy coping strategies in mind for when I feel overwhelmed). Last night wasn't the best but tbh it might have been necessary since it did push me into getting one big task out of the way (that I might have kept avoiding otherwise because of anxiety) and now I can relax more. I'm feeling way better now and today has been going alright so far so I'm glad. It will be okay.
#symptoms that specifically get worse at night are not fun to deal with#also I got crappy news earlier that day#(about one of my friends but it impacted me too)#and I just. had a very very overactive mind last night so I kept thinking it was going to turn into a full-blown panic attack#luckily it didn't though#and I ended up taking the full dose of my sleep med which isn't ideal tbh#I'm able to sleep without the full dose and usually it's better quality sleep too but :/#I just wanted to sleep last night and deal with things tomorrow#but then I couldn't sleep even after taking it because my anxiety was so overpowering#one of my compulsive behaviors still kept me up late#and my mind was uhhh going very fast and making my brain feel kind of chaotic#it had been a long day#lots of little anxiety spikes I couldn't address during the daytime came back to haunt me at night fhfgsgdh#but !!! I am feeling better for now! and I got stuff done!!#and again yay for six (6) good nights! :D#I was able to make it before so I'm sure tonight will be better!
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