#I asked my IRLS about this issue and literally they said it’s fine .

[byakuyasdarling]

If I’m going to do comms in that new style I have to have other examples,,, might draw other S/I’s but very torn on drawing them with their skrunkles

it feels I am betraying a fictional man. Yes a FICTIONAL MAN. Trauma does weird things to you.

[the-moon-ate-my-stardust]

Okay literally no one asked but as a former Hobbit movie hater who has since experienced character growth, I feel compelled to share my thoughts on the movies on my gay little blog.

Listen. There are legit reasons to be critical of these movies. They were made on a rushed timeline, at time where CGI overuse was the thing and there are definitely unnecessary moments. But despite those issues, these movies still have a lot of heart and character and some really wonderful acting! To compare them to LOTR, is unfair I think because LOTR was such an unimaginable success and I truly believe no other movie franchise can do what those movies did. To expect the Hobbit movies to be the same caliber considering the behind the scenes drama and massive difference in timeline is just not it.

Truly I think that the Hobbit could have been much more than it was and it’s sad to see the amazing moments and realize that we could have had movies that were maybe closer to the level of LOTR, but that doesn’t take away from all of the great things that the movies gave us! Despite what he may be like irl, Martin Freeman was a great young Bilbo, Richard Armitage was insanely good as Thorin (despite the change in age) and the other dwarf actors brought a great sense of loyalty, brotherhood and shared loss to their roles. The music is still dope as hell and there are some beautiful shots despite all the CGI.

This is way too long and I’ve not said anything that hasn’t been said before but honestly, I’m so glad that I stopped hating on these movies and have seen the special things about them. Nothing will ever compare to LOTR, but that doesn’t make these movies bad. They’re fun, they’re emotional, they have great characterization and it’s super valid to enjoy them.

Final gay thoughts because I’m obligated, but I struggle with people who argue against Bagginshield with the whole “why does everyone have to make everything gay?” thing. Because Hollywood is so deeply homophobic that we see so little genuine queer representation, so forgive us for enjoying the chemistry we find and making it our own since our society gives us breadcrumbs. If you’re not into Bagginshield, totally legit and fine, but don’t hate on other people (especially queer people) trying to find some romantic love in media that we enjoy. Also no one can convince me that Richard Armitage wasn’t at least somewhat intentionally putting his queer energy into this role, I will die on this hill.

Anyway, TL;DR there’s no shame in liking or loving the Hobbit movies despite their faults and there are lots of things to appreciate and enjoy and I for one, am glad to leave my LOTR purist hater days behind me

[diaryofageekgirl]

Cross-posting my meta/ranting from the Helluva Boss subreddit. Originally posted June 22, 2024 (here):

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: I love both Stolas and Blitzø. I'm super invested in this relationship. Both of them made mistakes, but both of them are also coming from places of trauma and previous fucked up interpersonal relationships. That being said, I don't really feel the need to point out how Blitzø fucked up, because so much of the fandom is so biased towards Stolas that everyone is already well aware of that part of the problem. I'm also very aware of the fact that Stolas has grown significantly as a character, but sometimes people in the audience forget the difference between what WE know, and what the CHARACTERS know. Now that that's out of the way...

Oh my god, THANK YOU. There was one particular line in Apology Tour that stuck out to me, especially because Blitzø's reaction wasn't what I hoped it would be.

Stolas: "I don't look down on you! How many times do I ha- when have I ever?!"

Oh, I don't know dude, maybe the entire first season?!

Episode 1: refers to Blitzø as "my little imp" during the phone call (using his bottom-of-the-hierarchy species as a cute pet name is..... bad. It's bad). Also just fully ignores the fact that Blitzø tells him that it's not a good time, that he doesn't understand what he's saying (more than once!) and clearly just agrees to the deal in order to deal with the more pressing issue of being shot at.

Episode 2: CONSTANTLY flirts with Blitzø using incredibly sexual language throughout the episode, even when Blitzø repeatedly tells him that he doesn't want to be flirted with while he's working. (That's not even going into how he completely ignores Octavia's emotions/reactions to what's going on around her and just focuses on himself and what he thinks is a good idea in the moment. That's two for two on episodes where his stunning lack of self-awareness shines through).

Isn't in episode 3 or 4. Though I will take a second to acknowledge one line in episode 3 - when Blitzø charges into the room and challenges Verosika and her crew, one of the succubi says "Is this little imp boy starting a demon duel?" Yet another example of imps being treated as lesser by other demons.

Episode 5: The constant heavy-handed flirting in public, again, even though Blitzø repeatedly tells him not to, again. On top of that, there's the "itty bitty imps like yourself" comment that he makes to Blitzø while in bed, and not even a minute later, tells him in cutesy UWU baby talk that he's "sowwy his cwients wiw have to wait" - not taking Blitzø or his work seriously. And, of course, we get Striker telling Blitzø that Stolas treats him like a plaything.....

Episode 6: ......aaaaaand the very next episode has Stolas literally calling Blitzø his "impish little plaything". Side note, but I feel like most discussions about Stolitz's dynamic and the imbalance present in it focuses on this line in particular, but not the rest of his behaviour throughout the whole first season. He is constantly making aggressively sexual comments, oftentimes right after being asked or told not to by Blitzø, sometimes after being told more than once.

Episode 7, he's actually fine. Hiding his face when Ozzie singles him out isn't great, but he had just been publicly embarrassed, and if you watch in the background, he does get up from the table (likely about to try to help Blitzø) right at the end of Verosika's bit, before he's interrupted by Asmodeus. And while I'm certain he really did just want to "talk, or watch a movie, or cuddle", I can also see how easy it would be for Blitzø to interpret that as him asking to Netflix and Chill, as it were.

(Also, not a major thing, but having a little plush imp doll as a kid (as seen in S2E1) feels.....really weird, to me? Like I know most posts on SocMed and reactions on YT just see it as cute, and I'm probably reading too much into it, and I know that IRL toy dolls and stuffed dolls of people are a common thing, but just the idea of a prince having a plush doll of a low-class citizen feels really bad. A literal plaything, if you will.)

Season 2, Episode 2: Not much, but even though they had a tiny bit of a fight (if you can even call it that) after Ozzie's, and even though they haven't been communicating super well, and even though he's concerned about finding Octavia, Stolas still finds an opportunity to make a sexual comment towards Blitzø.

Season 2, Episode 4: Ohhhhhhhhhh my god, I never even used to be mad about this, but the way that it got brought up in Apology Tour made me pissed. Stolas now getting upset about Blitzø not coming to rescue him when Striker kidnapped him? Telling him that he "couldn't even be bothered to come help me"? Fuck. Off. With. That. As a father of a daughter himself, you'd think that Stolas would be sympathetic to the fact that Blitzø was trying to help out his own daughter in that scene, especially considering that he had to wait 5 fucking years for a mandatory medical procedure. Of fucking course he's not going to skip out on that! And just the way he responds to that:

Stolas: Oh, ha, ha. Well, I do agree that is very important...But, I-

(and then he's cut off by Striker). I urge anyone and everyone to go rewatch that bit of the episode, because his tone of voice is just so dismissive. Like, "yes, yes, that's nice, now drop everything and come rescue me, which is more important". And that's before he even realizes that he's in serious danger!!!

Like, I'm sorry, but where the fuck does he get off getting mad at Blitzø for "always making it about sex"? Blitzø has only ever reacted to the sexual advances that Stolas was putting out - even from the very first hook-up, Stolas just assumed that Blitzø was there to seduce him, and Blitzø just went along with it as a way to distract him while he stole the book. He agreed to the transactional fucking in episode 1 while he was being shot at and was trying to get Stolas off his back. He's expressed annoyance towards Stolas' sexual advances in episodes 2 and 5 of season 1. And now suddenly it's Blitzø that makes it all about sex?!

And what do you mean, "How many times do I ha-" Have to what, buddy? Tell him that you see him as an equal? You haven't done that yet. Tell him that you love him? You did that whole conversation in pretty much the exact wrong order and shut down when he didn't react like you imagined in your head. Tell him that you think highly of him? You haven't done that. Not directly to him, not where he could hear, not before the end of that argument, right before forcibly teleporting him away from you, which, y'know, just reinforces Blitzø's earlier comment about treating him like one of his butlers, and how he "can't just dismiss [him]."

He may not have ever actively viewed Blitzø as inferior to him, but there's a LOT of internalized classism going on that I'm not sure he's even aware of.

(continued in a later comment):

One thing I'd like to add to all of 👆 that: I mentioned a bit about other people in Hell talking down to imps, but one thing I forgot to talk about is how Stolas himself views imps that aren't Blitzø. Quick list (entirely from memory):

Refers to Millie and Moxxie as "you littler ones" in Loo-Loo Land

Refers to I.M.P. collectively as "you little creatures" in Truth Seekers

The generally condescending and dismissive way he talks to the imps of the Wrath Ring in Harvest Moon Festival - if I'm remembering correctly, he also refers to them as little! Like I get it, he's crazy tall, but we all know that's not the only way to interpret that comment.

3.5 Since Stolas (and a big chunk of the fandom) went ahead and compared Blitzø's comments to Striker's, I'm gonna do the same to him! Those comments are so reminiscent of Striker saying "you little things ain't worth the clean-up" to Moxxie and Millie, also from Harvest Moon Festival.

4. Picking up, forcefully squeezing, and swinging around his imp butler while he was mad during his phone call with Stella in Seeing Stars. I'm not saying that he's abusive towards his staff, or anything like that - just that the very fact that he did it at all seemed to be totally subconscious, which in turn suggests that he doesn't realize how demeaning that is.

5. Actually, now that I think about it - the fact that he's so upset that specifically Blitzø didn't rescue him in Western Energy. The main reason he's alive and not bleeding out in the bottom of a mine shaft is because Millie and Moxxie showed up, and they only knew to go there and help him because Blitzø told them/they were there during the phone call. Like, does he even know their names? Is he even grateful that they helped? We don't know!

I saw someone in another thread say that he was essentially at the equivalent of the "I'm not racist, I don't even see colour!" stage of racism, and I completely agree. He doesn't realize all of these internalized prejudices he has, but they are ABSOLUTELY there.

(comment on another thread, building off of the comments I made about s2e4, originally posted July 7, 2024):

Also, a few other points to build off of this & respond to other comments on this thread:

"But he didn't tell Stolas about the first time, and the Carmine-crafted gun that Striker had that can kill royal demons" - You mean the one that Moxxie took from him and still has in his possession at the end of Harvest Moon Festival? The one that Moxxie was shocked that Striker even managed to get his hands on? Remember, I.M.P. didn't know that Striker was working for anyone; logically, that means they would have assumed that he got the weapon entirely on his own, and something like that is both rare and expensive - imps don't typically "make it big" in Hell, and I can't imagine a powerful Overlord would be thrilled to give a weapon that could kill them to someone so far below them in status. With them taking it from him and keeping it at the end of the episode, it means that they would assume that he's no longer a serious threat. They had no way of knowing he was being bankrolled by a royal, with access to three more angelic weapons (two pistols and a knife) (four if you count the rope as well).

"Stolas: You knew someone was trying to assassinate me?" Uhhhhh, yeah? You were there for Loo-Loo Land, dude, you know that people are trying to assassinate you, like all the time. This isn't news in any way - and yes, Striker is generally more dangerous than any of the assassins that we saw in that episode, it still doesn't change the fact that you're already well aware that being rich and royal puts a target on your back. This is really unfair to get upset with Blitzø for. (I'm aware that this is an argument and sometimes you bring up unfair accusations in arguments and both of them were very heated and I shouldn't have to plaster every comment about this episode and this relationship with disclaimers that I'm not hating anyone, just expressing frustration.)

[velvetvexations]

A vent, inspired by conversations from earlier about sexual entitlement

As a nonbinary person who likes to present in a way that gets interpreted as "goth woman" the fucking entitlement that people have over me/my sexuality is wild.

Like on one hand you've got the people who want me to be their goth dommy mommy and too and/or dom them when like. I can switch and dom people on occasion, but there's very few people I consider it worth it to do. In sex (not kink) I am exclusively a bottom and thankfully that hasn't been an issue but that's usually because when people realize I'm not going to dom them they stop pursuing things.

But on the other hand there's the people who do respect me as a sub and a bottom, but because I'm goth and kinky they take it as a blanket permission to just like, live out whatever sexual fantasy they have. Just straight up sexual assault on a somewhat regular basis because people can't be bothered to ask before they start to choke me because I'm goth and kinky and they've seen it in porn so it must be fine (it's not, you can kill someone even if you choke them properly, and a solid chunk of these people don't actually know how to do it properly).

So yeah as someone read as a "goth woman" it feels like it's literally impossible to get away from people having sexual expectations of me and being annoyed when I'm not a conscious sex toy that'll do whatever it is they want me to. Like it's one thing when it's just jokes, I don't mind playing along when someone asks me to step on them or whatever, but when people are seriously expecting me to be sexual in specific ways that I'm just not it can get really really awful.

And it was really frustrating a few months ago when comp top/"let trans women be bottoms/subs" discourse was going around TRF circles and they were like "trans women have been through a lot and they deserve to be taken care of instead of needing to take care of others" (which I agree with) "so therefore if you're not a trans woman you should dom/top and take care of trans women" when like.

I am someone who has been through significantly worse trauma than most people I know, and have always been placed in the role of taking care of others. Part of why I only dom certain people is because of my trauma of being forced to raise my younger brothers and play parent to my own mother. I am very much in the category of people who've been through it who have always been expected to do things for others and who deserves to be taken care of. And there was just no acknowledgement from that group that people other than trans women might be in the position of having had to take care of others and being deserving of support and care now.

It feels like the same entitlement as the people irl who want me to be their goth dommy mommy. Society has decided that people like me are people it's fair to feel entitlement towards, and like. That entitlement is in a large part why I can't be what people want. I'm a human being, and while I know how to take care and be there for others, I'm not going to do it without being taken care of myself because I've spent too many years of my life giving to others and getting nothing in return.

Everyone deserves to be happy, to have the sexual experiences that they're looking to have, to be taken care of if that's what they wish, but while we all deserve these things it is unfair to expect them to come from any specific individual, and if someone is telling you no to these things you find someone else to ask, not try to get your needs met by someone who has made it clear they don't want to.

Very well said anon. <3

[457-r4-1701]

Ego Sum Vivens Plus Quam Tu Semper Esse

Hiya! This is 457-R4-1701! This unit is a robotic humanoid draconid autonomous unit operating in a galaxy near you! Actually, let's get this out in a machine and other sapient friendly format block.

Designation: 457-R4-1701

Pronouns: it/its

"Species": Gynoid/robot/robotdragon

Other: NOT a person and don't you forget it! This unit is an object, and fuck you if you say otherwise. Ok? Ok.

This unit uses the "cw: topic" format for tagging content warnings.

ASK BOX IF HIT LIMIT: [x]

[IC cut for an IC OOC section. It is not OOC OOC, but it is as if Astra wrote this OOC]

Hey, Astra ( @wishmaker-astra ) here with an OC of mine that quite literally came to me in a dream. Just a few key things to note:

THIS IS A ROLEPLAY CHARACTER NOT A REAL INDIVIDUAL

I will discuss 18+ topics on here, you've been warned, please block if that's an issue

Related to above: no ERP on site, come on. Neither of us want bans. That said, I don't care if you're 18+ blog and keep it within bounds when interacting with it. I'll just block you if I consider your blog a problem. Nothing personal mind.

Flirting and raunchy jokes are fine if you're not a skeeze about it.

It's a pseudo-SI kinda? But also not? Look, just be aware if that weirds you out, block if it's a problem

Honestly, probably block if you're not fine with characters that might be used in 18+ stuff off-site even if won't be done here just to be on the safe side

I'm going to be probing at my non-personhood stuff with this character, you've been warned, please block if that's an issue

I'm probably going to be pretty sporadic on this account tbh, don't expect regular updates. If you are waiting on something from me with this character, and you have my discord, please poke me there

None of the various ways to send shit to it, alter things, etc, etc are open.

Character Description:

// OOC from here down

Pokemon IRL character that's a character being played by a character

Mail: [off]•Mystery Gift: [off]•Magic Anon: [off]•Union Circle: [off]

Icon is a crop edit of it's ref sheet by Amber Aria: https://www.sunset-aria.com/

Header is a public domain image from the James Webb Space Telescope

Yeah, this literally is Astra's OC. Quick summary of the will not interacts:

Will Not Interact:

Magic Anon

Fae deals/name stealing

Meta Horror

4th Wall Schenanigans

Very dark topics

• This includes post-apocalyptic stuff to be clear

Mental Alteration/Mind Control related subjects

• I WILL just ignore things, have it behave utterly OOC, blanket refuse to interact with characters, and/or just suddenly drop interaction as if never happened if required for this

Please see @wishmaker-astra for the full notes that generally apply to it as well, since this is ASTRA playing a character actually.

[ticklethehomies2]

Lol cause I'm still upset. I'm just gonna rant about it here!

I genuinely despise being a queer man in this community. The way that cishet men treat me is just like awful sometimes and i'd rather they call me a slur. I'm just tired of the covert ways homophobia slips into things. Why are you so afraid I'll treat you the same way you treat women??? I never said I liked you. Or was interested in you. It couldn't be further from the truth actually.

I could feel the disdain from the screen. One dimensional characters until they see someone they deem fuckable and all of a sudden they have a personality. And this isn't just Tumblr. Can't believe this shit happens irl too (I'm being facetious). I would love to be there for my male friends but the way they shut me out because I'm not who they're romantically and/or sexually attracted to is so fucked to me. And I get it- if that's not what they're comfortable with then whatever. BUT am I allowed to be pissed off cause I know the reason is just rooted in homophobia??

Maybe this is the aroace experience of recognizing how FUCKED UP the world is for placing romantic and sexual relationships above all things. Especially with men who will treat their partners as caregivers and therapists (in an unhealthy way). But then men have high rates of su!cide... And mental health problems and substance abuse issues...

It hurts to be whittled down to a sex obsessed deviant or predator because I'm queer. I'm literally just some guy. I'm not entitled to your attention, that's fine, but don't confuse me trying to reach out or spark a conversation as me hitting on you or trying to manipulate you into doing things you're uncomfortable with.

I'm just here to try to connect with people on this silly lil blog. Not here to intentionally cause harm or make people uncomfortable. I just ask that people be a little kinder and think before they act.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Cas babe, I'm royally fucked. The drama that is surrounding me rn is so fucking unreal.

So let me start from the very beginning, so I m a 16 yr old girl and i hv this really close guy friend let's call him J, so J and I have been friends since forever, like I don't even remember when I first met him. I have known him since I was born , like I have never known a life without J. And i love him like a brother.

Ok so fast forward a few years and now we're both 16, and we met this girl, Lottie she was a transfer student and we ( J , Lottie and I) had a few classes together. And slowly we develop a friendship.

Now the thing is that J has a crush on Lottie and he told me as soon as he realised it and me being the great friend that I am have subtly been wingwomaning him .

So, last week after English class (only Lottie and I have this class) , Lottie asked me out. Yeah, and I'm straight af but I'm an ally. So I was like what? But she was like i thought u were queer coz u give very strong queer vibes which is kinda true because I have a MAJOR crush on lily Rose depp and i hv always said that she could run me over with her car and I'd thank her and beg her to fuck me, (yeah I have issues.) And I also have bi friend who i jokingly call my wife bcoz when she came out ppl were being very homophobic and i thought that was the only way to support her. (i was 14 ok i don't judge me)

So back to Lottie I wa obviously s so very awkward I was like ohhh. And i told her in the politest way i could manage that I m straight af (bcoz i am) and I'm kinda flustered that she has a crush on me bcoz she is really pretty. And she got very embarassed and started apologising and I was like no no it's fine , it's totally fine. Yeah but she also kinda requested me not to tell anyone else that she's a lesbian bcoz she's not out to everyone, and I was like Of course .And now she has been trying to avoid me for the few days which anyone in her position would do tbh, so I don't blame her for that.

Ok so now bcoz Lottie is avoiding me she's also avoiding J by extension coz we both r usually hanging out together. So i already told u that J has a crush on Lottie so he was obviously not happy that she was avoiding us and i couldn't tell him why bcoz OBVIOUSLY.

And a little note abt my best friend he is extremely fucking extra , he is the biggest drama queen in the world like Sirius Black level of drama. So now his dumbass decided that he will ask Lottie out, and bcoz he is so fucking extra abt everything he is thinking of using the help of his teammates ( he's on the football team) to ask her out after the football match next Friday.

And in trying to convince him that he should not do it, but when he asks why i don't have any solid reason because it's not my place to tell him abt Lottie. So he's really planning everything to make the proposal perfect, and I'm stressing tf out.

I love J and i don't want to see him get hurt bcoz obviously Lottie is gonna say no, and on top of that it would be kinda humiliating bcoz the entire school and another school would be there. And I'm also worried that Lottie will think that I did this in purpose to embarrass her so now I'm stuck in a huge fucking dilemma.

And ngl I find this situation extremely fucking hilarious BCOZ WHAT IN THE WATTPAD LEVEL OF SHIT IS THIS? IS THIS SITUATION EVEN REAL? LIKE DOES THIS KINDA SHIT EVEN HAPPEN IRL???

pls help me bcoz I don't know what tf I'm going to do and i hv to do something before Friday or 😭😭😭.

omg I have to say- the way I was literally gasping throughout this story because...wow

So first, I want to say I think you were really sweet with Lottie. It sounds like you're a super kind person, and a wonderful ally <3

Honestly, I would probably talk to Lottie (if possible) and tell her that J is about to ask her out in front of the entire school, and ask her if it's okay for you to tell him that she's simply not interested. The reason I think this is the best option is because, either way Lottie will find out about J's feelings, so you can't really prevent that. This way, you're preventing embarrassment for both Lottie and J. Also, you're possibly protecting Lottie from attention by telling J you just "heard Lottie is not interested" because that doesn't out Lottie. AND even if J doesn't listen to you, you've helped by both preparing Lottie for what will happen and by sort of...introducing J to the idea that she's not interested.

So yeah. I think this is your best bet.

Keep me updated, I'm dying to know what happens!

(Also I am naming all the anons who write to me in case they want to write in the future, and I am using a random positive affirmation generator to do so. So I dub thee: caring anon. Enjoy your free tag!)

[lrgoescrazy]

oc lore dump pls

bruh I can't explain things in words, this is gonna sound awful

so jayden is a silly little guy (he murders on occasion) who can turn into a LION MADE OUT OF FIRE and it's really cool and big and strong. He has black nails but it's not emo!!! its from the demon 😈who's super evil (and there's a number 2 demon that looks like a weird spiky creature thing) but this demon basically looks like satan but not red, instead its blue and black. Jayden doesn't have real horns guys!! its part of his hair, he just got weird cowlicks man don't question it, it's just how asian hair be sometimes (I literally have a picture with cowlicks that look exactly like horns bro)

jayden is super happy all the time it's technically one of his flaws, he's a bit too trusting at times, he's had multiple bad experiences with people close to him, but he values honesty so much that he just assumes other people mean what they say. Nothing really brings him down, and he only gets serious when people close to him are at risk. you KNOW you messed up when he stops smiling lol. His hair is basic af idk why NO ONE can draw it istg its just an undercut that's kinda swept to the side! ngl I don't wanna explain much about him plot-wise so I'm keeping some stuff a secret until later.

His chinese name is 尊强 (zun qiang in mandarin pinyin) and it literally means "honour strong" and his last name is huang (like the colour) which is lowkey a basic af southern last name but it's literally a name in my family soooo... Jayden as his English name is just smth I made up cuz no one in the kingdom can say his name right let alone with correct tones. Speaking of southern he's from Zhongshan in Guangdong!! southern Chinese food SLAPS man I'm hungry just thinking about ittt also jayden is a massive foodie ofc he loves snacks and BOBA (the lore of the unreleased boba IV and I love anime girls gangster story goes crazy)

Family trauma also go crazy but again i dont wanna spoil but his dad and grandpa did some evil things... but somehow jayden pushes on? I'm literally the writer but his resilience surprises me sometimes bruh.

his story is kinda goofy (and by goofy I mean literal tragedy with a large dose of comedy) but like I GOTTA include the colourism and racism arcs bro the kingdom so mean to him for NO REASON

also what if i said that the whole concept of my comic that I've literally structured my whole life around came to me in a literal dream. like it was enlightening bro it just came to me idk my dreams are crazy.

omg i forgot to mention Levels, he got a star in his eye bro, he's Level 10 he sees spirits real good. Also his eyebrows are goofy I know, but like... it's just an exaggeration, irl there are eyebrows with a sort of "tail" like that. he's really strong did I mention that yet? like even without powers, he's very skilled in combat that's why he's ripped lol, his sifu is literally based on a real sifu I've had before, sifu's also so silly!! i think it's so funny to have a character who looks tough but is super nice and not scary at all.

also he's got sharp upper canines, he literally looked demonic before the demon (there is an explanation for this but again no spoilers)

i gave him bellbottom pants cuz i like bellbottom pants. if anyone asks me why i chose specific fashion/clothes for characters ima just say "cuz I like it... lol"

also he's 19 although he acts quite young, it's just how he is.

he's kinda dumb but the reason for this is pretty sad (systemic issues go crazy) he just don't take in information that well and he just thinks in a very black and white way.

his biggest motivation gotta be JUSTICE (omg he's an SJW) what he cares about the most is that people get what they deserve, whether its good or bad. cuz he grew up poor even when his parents work hard, so he know what "unfair" means.

he's absolutely COVERED in scars (ngl thats my own stubbornness with details, I just can't stand it when mfs in shows get hurt and then a week later they're fine with no trace of injury???) he kinda throws himself into fights, obv he defends himself but he isn't afraid to take the force and not to mention he is very protective of others, so he'll get in the way of an attack just to save someone else or buy time.

his eyes (well.... one eye) are BLACK man they're not brown bro idk why people keep doing that "black eyes aren't real" idk if ppl colour his eyes with dark brown!! but his eyes aren't a medium brown, they're as close to black as possible! and his eyes arent slanted bro! his eyes just look like semicircles with the flat side on the bottom!

and idk why no one can draw his nose. his nose is STRAIGHT it don't curve down it don't curve up PLEASE just draw a straight nose!! and don't NOT draw his lips man... i hate to see it bro, it just looks ODD, it's like whitewashing but without the white IDK how to describe it. ain't NOBODY can draw his side profile correctly man, whitewashing of his side profile is even WORSE. like he don't have a nose that stick out that much man, you cant just slap a generic anime side profile on him and expect it to work. i see SO many people who cant draw east asians man, like GO OUTSIDE I sort of get it for people who live in places with like zero east asians, but a lot of people who have drawn my OCs live in like California?? idk man, but if you cant draw east asians, either learn how to do so or don't draw jayden

and his skin colour... bro it's like hot chocolate (yes I know its a little weird to compare skin colour to food, but it's the easiest way for me to tell people and what other people have told me his skin looks like) so PLEASE don't lighten it OR darken it! I've gotten a piece of fanart where he is literally super dark brown. like LOOK AT MY REF!! and I see SO many people who draw his skin really desaturated. I'm not asking people to draw his skin like the super saturated orange that I use, but you gotta have some colour man!

kinda turned into a rant but i have so much to say man I LOVE rambling about my characters. also jayden's eyes... another thing I see wrong has to do with how much eye whites are showing. when he has a neutral expression, there is no visible eye whites above or below his iris! his iris takes up a lot of his eye! when ppl draw his irises small af (or give him "dead eyes") it don't look like him! he also got the little fat under the eyes it makes him look like he's smiling I love it

jayden def lives in the moment. he's never too worried about the future or super anxious about things. he's just a chill guy lol. also his attention span is non existent if it's not about things he's interested in. he's not too shy usually, but he is quite shy with people he likes.

he initially was scared by the prince and thought he was gonna be a bad person, but turns out the prince just CLUELESS and very soon after they've been on "friendly relations" if you know what I mean lol. he gives up a little too much for the people close to him, it's quite a flaw that he wouldn't even hesitate to get hurt for the sake others, he never thinks about himself enough. speaking of, ofc he basically let himself get stabbed cuz to him, he'd rather lose an eye than for the prince to even get a papercut.

also he likes CATS!!! KITTIES!!! (well... ifykyk what happens)

his relationships with other characters is either silly and happy or extremely serious and begrudging in a way that actually really impacts the plot

the lore behind the scar on his neck is a tad bit insane

OMG this is so long i don't expect anyone to read all this

i am NOT gonna read this again man I guarantee its cringe AF

[iguessitsjustme]

Love Sea Ep 6 Thoughts

I’m going to preface this with I’m already grumpy. I am in pain and grumpy. And I have issues with this show on good days. But I got my popcorn, I got my drink, and I’ve got my pissy attitude so I am ready to watch. You have been warned. Don’t click read more if you think you won’t like what I say:

I haven’t even clicked play yet. Noisy neighbors go AWAY.

I forgot to mention I also have my beans. My delicious, delicious beans.

Rae vs. volume control. Who wins? The answer is that my ears lose. OW. Did not realize it was turned up that loud. The previously on almost made me deaf. That’s entirely on me. Lord god almighty as if I do not suffer enough as a result of nature, now I have to inflict harm upon myself by being so incredibly dumb as to have the volume turned up that high? No wonder I have issues hearing my coworkers saying things to me. The auditory doesn’t process because I don’t even give it a damn chance. 

I want the bag. I want that bag so bad. (I lost all of my bags a few years ago due to The Incident and I’ve recently started accumulating bags again and I want it. I want it on me. It is so incredibly blue. It is so much. Look at it. Friends that know me irl and are also reading this, isn’t that the exact type of bag I would use. I want it. So bad. Give me. Give me the bag. Where can I purchase this bag that probably costs more than I make in 3 months? Aaaaahhhh. I’ll shut up about it now. But just know I’m gonna be thinking about this until I get a bag that either looks like this or I like more.

I hate that every episode starts and ends with narration from a character. I hate it. I know a large part of it is that it’s not something I typically enjoy in stories and it’s my own personal preference but I also don’t think it works in this show at all. It’s trying to frame each episode as having a specific message or moral that it’s teaching and it is not landing the way it should be landing in order to be framing the show this way. The messages that it presents at the beginning and the end are good, but what we’re shown in the episode never truly matches what we’re told the episode is about. It doesn’t quite work. Also this week’s theme is “why do we find people adorable?” An interesting question to pose I suppose. I’d like it better in any show. Typically my answer is because people are adorable and they do good things for others and we want to see people being good and doing good. Especially the people we like. People we like as friends, as lovers, as crushes, even celebrities. We want to see these people doing good in the world and when they do…yeah. That’s pretty damn adorable.

What.

I take back everything I just said. How does the question of adorability lead into this episode title? Also…again…what.

I can see the argument to be made about jealousy being a sign of love but I do not trust MAME to make this argument. Personally, I fall on the side of a little bit of jealousy is fine and can be healthy in some cases, but I do not think jealousy is a sign of love. But I am also not the best person to talk to about this as I rarely like people and I never get jealous. Well not like that. I get jealous but not of lovers.

I may not be a fan of Mut because I think he sucks but credit where credit is due. Man can cook. I need to find someone that will cook for me. I mean, I’m a decent enough cook, but my issue is that I don’t wanna. 

Is that Mut...respecting Rak’s autonomy? And letting Rak decide to tell him for himself? Also Vie is a bad friend for wanting to just tell her friend’s business like that. I will share my business with anyone who asks. But you want to know about something going on in my friend’s life? Better ask them. The only time I ever talk someone else’s business is when that person is in immediate danger. But kudos to Mut for this. The bar is literally on the ground. Mut is above it and Vie is in hell.

PROBABLY BECAUSE VIE WON’T KEEP HER MOUTH CLOSED. Willing to tell some dude she’s met once your entire business. Rak get better friends.

Rak explaining his trauma to Mut and I’m just INHALING this popcorn. The carnage is unreal. I should be studied.

Maybe I should switch my snack to ice cream damn. I mean, we all been knew Rak was abused and his dad was shit. But still, poor dude. At least I don’t need to worry about the abuser being redeemed in this show (I hope). *glares at gmmtv and how they’ve been handling parents lately*

Y’all I just had to go wash my hands cause the popcorn made them so greasy. Tell me why when I got up out of my chair it was covered in popcorn carnage? What have I done. I’m a monster. I just cleaned my whole apartment and now I’m covering it in popcorn.

Vie cannot play tennis. Dear god my eye is twitching. Anyway moving on.

Give the translators a raise

WHAT. IN THE MANIPULATIVE TEARS. IS THIS. I hate Vie so much. With my entire heart and soul I wish to launch her into the sun.

That pissed me off so much I actually had to skip most of that scene. It is too hot for me to be that angry.

Who are these children? What’s happening now?

Oh wait that must be Rak’s niece. Okay I’m remembering things from multiple episodes ago that have barely been brought up since. Got it.

Meena is a smart girl. And this is why you inform children of these things. Even if you don’t give them too much detail. Still tell them who is dangerous and when to run. Good for Meena and good for her friend. I am not looking forward to this plot with Rak’s dad but we’ll get through it. And then we’ll launch him into the sun. All together. It will be a group project.

Rak do not act confused. You had to know what you were doing appearing in front of Mut wearing that after a fight. And after the last time y’all tried to fuck got interrupted.

I don’t know how I feel about this 13 year old describing her uncle as sexy like that. This scene is bizarre and strange.

Been a minute since those two fucked. Honestly that’s probably what 90% of that fight was about. Been too long for both of them and then they got interrupted.

I am not sure I would have titled this episode about jealousy. Cause yeah there was a bit of that but that's not what the episode was about. It’s not what it started on or ended on. It was just a bit in the middle.

HER GRANDMA ISN’T EVEN DEAD?????

Is anyone else on TikTok? Cause isn’t there this one guy that faked his mom being dead in order to sell his music? And also manipulate his then girlfriend? Is that what this show is going for? They want Vie to be like that guy. Who is everyone currently hates because he's literally such an ass. And who pretends like someone's dead to manipulate someone like that? I cannot even fathom. There is no world in which that is okay. They want me to want Vie and Mook together? I already didn’t like Vie and they just wanted to make it worse.

What an interesting episode. Again, I didn’t hate it. I might actually end up liking this show. I just need Mut to be like he was in this episode instead of how he’s been in episodes 1-5. This was great. Vie can kiss my ass. I hate her so much. And I want to like her. I want to like her so bad. I want to like her friendship with Rak. I want to be able to ship her with Mook. But I can’t. Because she is The Worst. For so many reasons. I’m gonna go lay in a fetal position on my couch now. Maybe start rewatching something. I need a comfort show.

[pryings]

TOA Anniversary Munday

thank you neffi for this template!!!

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is.

Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing!

Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together.

Name: ruaidhrí (said pretty much like the english name rory and if you want to spell it that way that's fine too, ik irish names throw people off)

Pronouns: he/him

Birthday (no year): 25th of october!

Where are you from? What is your time zone? i live in colorado and my timezone is MST

How long is your roleplay experience? i don't know exactly how many years since i sometimes have years where h don't rp but i've been rping on and off since i was 11-12.

How were you introduced to roleplaying as a whole? oh gosh, so ff.net used to have (maybe still has, i literally have not been on that site in ages) these like... forums? and i joined one for elder scrolls rp a little after oblivion came out. i was far and away the youngest one there but everyone was so nice in helping me turn my character into a proper oc with like... backstory, a real personality, etc. after that, i spent a lot of time using it to try and grow my creative writing skills.

How were you introduced to TOA? honestly i just stumbled across it randomly! i had just replayed a few fe games and was looking through some tags and thought it might be fun to try fire emblem rp (i'd done some on indie tumblr back in the day, as well as in an mfrp a little bit, but never fire emblem exclusive rp) so i sent arden to check it out and, well, here we still are.

Do you have any pets? simon (mini poodle), john hancock (tabby cat), and tim & geeb (fluffy black cats)

What is your favorite time of year and why? (Season, holiday, general period) early spring! i also like late fall for its temperature, but i dislike snow/sleet/wet socks so spring is preferable because it's not very snowy here!

What is your IRL occupation? blessedly unemployed (health issues have prevented me from working aha)... i used to work IT though!

Some interests and things you like/enjoy? i like birdwatching, reading academic articles about ancient civilizations, and making espresso drinks

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? currently enjoying bg3 + doing a dragon age replay (in preparation for veilguard). outside current, i really like most single-player rpg type games (esp. with customizable character), stealth games (dishonored favorite), and Identity V is the first asymmetrical horror mobile game developed by NetEase for

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: my favorite pokemon ever is alakazam (and its whole line) i've loved alakazam foreverrrrr! favorite type is steel, though! apart from my psychic baby most of my other favs tend to be steel types

Tell us some funfacts and trivia about yourself! oh gosh i'm so bad at fun facts...

- i can put both my feet behind my head but i can't touch my toes - my favorite non-ancient empire to read about is austria-hungary - my cat tim was rescued from Outside

How did you get into Fire Emblem? friend's cool older brother was playing a bunch of the games in a seemingly random order. when i'd hang out at that friend's house sometimes we'd sit and watch. i asked him to lend me some and he did!

What Fire Emblem games have you played? i have now played all of them! (last year when i answered this i hadn't technically played them all, but i'd seen playthroughs and watched let's plays of all of them at the very least)

First & Favorite Fire Emblem games: a bad translation of fe4 was first, por is still my favorite—but tbh there's not really one i dislike

List your 5 favorite Fire Emblem characters across the series! - KNOLL (promoted to number one he's my special guy) - reyson - canas - ashnard - pandreo

Who was the first character ever to make you go “ooh I like this one in particular” and why? Can be any context and reason! QUAN—i have such a distinct memory of seeing him come in but i don't remember my initial thought, only that he would have my heart forever

Any Fire Emblem crushes? 😳 vander. duessel. hardin.

If you’ve played (or are familiar with) the following games, who was your first S support? Who would you S support nowadays? - Awakening: first was sumia! i don't have a set nowadays because i've done a different one on each playthrough - Fates: first was xander, would probably still do xander if i were to replay - Three Houses: first was seteth, if i replay i'll go for hanneman - Engage: first was pandreo! next time i plan to do ivy though

Favorite Fire Emblem class? i like shapeshifter classes! beasts, dragons, laguz, etc. i just think they're fun to play with

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class and stats? Would you be playable? oh gosh, i'd be an infantry axe unit probably. middling starting stats but high growths if you really work at making me good (there would be heated debates over whether the necessary time investment would be worth it)

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? black eagles!

If you were an Officers Academy student, what would be your boons, banes and potential budding talent? axe boon, heavy armor bane, budding talent in faith magic (could be classed into an fe:a style war cleric and it would be my suggested goal)

If you were an Engage character, which nation would you originate from? i want to say brodia!

How do you pronounce TOA? 🤔 toh-ah

Current TOA muses: just knoll <3

Past TOA muses? robin, niles, almedha, reyson, hardin, iago, perceval, lachesis (i think that's all?)

Who was your first TOA muse? If you no longer have them, can you see yourself picking them up again? my first muse was m!robin and thankfully i am spared any temptation on picking him up as he is currently being written.

Do you believe you have a type of character you gravitate towards writing? (If you filled this out last year, has this changed in any way?) i'm kind of all over the place, aren't i? i like characters where i can poke at hidden depths but ones who aren't too closely guarded. i like characters who are shy, withdrawn, standoffish, guarded, etc. in some way but who open up when spoken to. i don't think this has changed since last year, i've been writing for a long time and kind of know my comfort zone.

Do you have characters or types of characters you don’t think you can handle writing, but wish you could? boisterous/loud and over the top characters always challenge me, but i've never really managed to make them work, which is a shame because i tend to enjoy lively characters!

What kind of scenes, situations etc do you believe you enjoy writing the most? (If you filled this out last year, has this changed in any way?) -i love writing threads where setting/scenery is a focus, where i get to sort of use the landscape as a bit more than set-dressing - i enjoy throwing my muse at characters who mistrust him for whatever reason, and like to explore the kind of slow, mutual understanding that comes from two people getting to know one another - i really just like putting him in situations in general, forcing him to socialize—he's a very withdrawn character so any excuse to have him meet new people is very enjoyable

Do you have any scenario in mind for your muse(s) that gets you thinking “man I hope I get to write this one day”? nothing specific! i have kind of an arc for him but it's loosely-defined right now

Favorite TOA-related memories? HAPPYLAND WAS SO MUCH FUN. sincerely i loved the interactions he had there <3

Present or past tense? i default to present, but adapt to what my partner prefers on this!

Normal size text, small text, no preference? small text, bolded dialogue. just easier for my eyes to take it in that way.

Got any potential muse delusions to share? 😉 oh gosh. i recently had to go down to just one muse because my health is not so good, but i will admit i already have a few delusions. if i can get myself back to a spot where i feel like i can write a second, someone may return.

[polyamzeal]

I don't know where I'm going with this, I think I just need to get it off my chest.

I'm a woman in a great, loving relationship with a man. However, I am also queer and would love to have more no-strings-attached sex with other women. Like, I'm not looking for a girlfriend or committed partner, but FWB would be nice, you know? Or, like, someone's booty call? That's not an unreasonable thing to want and *be open* with wanting, right?

But it's like, no matter how open I am about the fact that my husband would *not* be part of this (aside from like a quick convo so he can veto it if he's too uncomfortable for any reason), I get yelled at for being a unicorn hunter. I get banned from apps for being a unicorn hunter. I get underhanded insults about unicorn hunters in irl spaces. I get friends not wanting to be friends because I'm a unicorn hunter, even though I never hit on them at all. On top of that (and yes, I'm not a fan of this either, but it is what it is), my husband has a one-penis policy, so I get shamed and ridiculed for wanting to respect my husband's wishes, too. I don't want to be restricted to cis women only and I see how it sucks, but it feels kind of unfair that I get shit for respecting someone else's boundaries.

I guess I just wish people wouldn't act as if I'm trying to set them up with my husband when I'm not. When I'm specifically looking for things I don't get in my relationship and I openly state that aside from just saying hi to him once, they literally do not ever have to even be in the same room again. But nope, all I get is "unicorn hunter kys". The funny thing is that he finds women to sleep with just fine without ever getting these reactions, even when he mentions me. Hell, even when those women meet me, he's never accused of the same thing.

It sucks. I kind of wish my husband could just get over his fear of other people's genitals so I could just exclude cis women since that seems to be the major issue, but it's not fair to demand that he shifts his boundaries for my benefit so here we are. I guess I'm just asking this - am I really doing something reprehensible and unforgivable here? Am I just the perfect example of the cringe space-invading loser in a one-penis policy het relationship giving every polyam person a bad name by wanting to fuck a woman every now and then? Am I the stereotype of everything you shouldn't be? I've given up on all of this already and accepted that my husband gets the adventures and I don't, but I guess I just want a post-mortem on how much I fucked up here.

I swear I already answered this but it is in my inbox and I can't find a record of answer it so I am just going to blame Tumblr.

You are not doing anything wrong. I think the most important thing is just being upfront and honest about what you are looking for. Be clear and direct with people. If they insist on making up their own assumptions and accusations then their loss.

That being said, I do think your husband's OPP is quite troublesome. I don't know if I would phrase it as "respecting his boundary." I feel like a boundary would be more like "He doesn't want you to sleep with other penis-havers so if you do then he withdraws his consent to have sex with you until a week after you stop having sex with other penis-havers" or something like that where you can decide what you want to do and if it is worth it for you but how he reacts is on him. This just sounds more outright like 'rule' rather than a 'boundary'. Perhaps it is all semantics though.

Putting all that aside, I would say just be patient as you try to find woman that understand your situration. And are willing to trust you to work with your needs.

[beevean]

Sending this anonymously instead of replying to your post cause I don't want the omori fandom harassing me for ranting about it

I'm not saying everyone who likes omori or Sunny is like this, but this was my experience knowing someone who was a huge fan of both.

All I knew about it before was from this person irl I used to be friends with. It never seemed like my cup of tea so I haven't played it and all I know was they thought it was a really good depiction of mental illness and they thought Sunny was their precious baby boy who can do no wrong and "just like them fr fr".

Seeing the omori critical posts recently I think sheds some light on what they meant by that, except they have no self awareness about it.

Because the reason I had the falling out with them is because they repeatedly did and said a lot of hurtful things, and blamed it all on mental illness (which I have enough of the same issues and know other people who do, to know that it does not make you treat your friends like shit) and would make it all about themselves and how it hurts their feelings that other people are rightfully upset about what they did.

idk sorry for the vent I just feel like, at least one of the reasons people like him is because they are just like him as much as they say. Even if nothing they do is ever as extreme as murder the same mindset applies to any way of refusing to take responsibility for wronging someone you claim to care about. 

I don't think liking a character is in and of itself a red flag but anytime someone says a character is literally just like them AND they say the same character is pure and innocent and can do nothing wrong unironically, I'm just like (insert that gif of the blinking guy here)

Wow. Well, this is a lot to take in. I'm really sorry about your bad experience with your friend, I know the type both online and IRL :(

The exchange I got on that post was very telling. I got told that Sunny is "relatable" because "he's the quiet shy friend". I said "I would relate to the way he shut himself out of the world, but I don't relate to why he did it." I was told "eh it's fine I also relate to Kel because he wants to help everyone, but I'm not good at basketball!". I said "yeah but Sunny has blood on his hands and went along with a cover-up story, that is so hyperspecific I can no longer find Sunny relatable, now he's more of a morally flawed character with his own past". I got basically a 👍 in response, conversation completely shut down in total awkwardness.

Like. There is such an aversion to talk about the very core of the game, the fact that Sunny put his hands on his sister, accidentally killed her, and then allowed everyone to believe she killed herself until the very last moment. Everyone is all "oh he's such a scrunkly, no thoughts head empty, so autistic <3" or swear up and down that Headspace actually gives him so much depth to analyze (depth he doesn't show with his actions in the real world because Kel drags him around like on a leash, but okay), but suddenly we can't talk about his greatest failure? Why, because then your blorbo looks bad? Or do you feel bad?

not to be arrogant but if someone asked me why I love Hector and Isaac so much I'd drown them in screenshots taken by me and my own analyses and still wouldn't shy away from the fact that they're both bastards. I relate to the motherfucker who killed his ex friend's wife out of spite, not because I killed anyone, but because I understand that level of jealousy and resentment. It's fine to relate to characters who aren't angels because you share similar flaws. Just be aware of the fact, you know? Like you said.

I understand, in a way, people who relate to Sunny due to his circumstances: again, he's depressed, he hates himself, he secluded himself in his own home and through the Sunny route he learns to touch grass again, things many people have gone through. But that's not the conversation I see. The conversation I see is either "he's autistic like me <3" (and by autism we mean that he doesn't talk and has a perpetual resting bitchface lol), or "I too have hurt people, and so I am inspired by Sunny taking courage and facing the truth, he's such a wonderful and strong person", garnished with "the reactions of his friends don't matter, his own wellbeing is what matters <3", which 1) whatever mistake you have made, I am positive it's not on the same level as accidentally taking a life and hiding from the repercussions, like that is on a completely different level, and 2) why does the grief of the other friends not matter? Because they're not as Mentally Ill as the protagonist? Because Sunny shouldn't have to face any consequence for his past actions because he's just a poow widdle guy 🥺? Is that what the game passes as a message?

Sorry for the rant. I understand that I popped out of nowhere in the fandom so it makes sense that few people would answer to me. But the few answers I got were so wishy-washy. "He's cute! He thinks! He cares about his friends in his own head! He's just like me!" okay but. how would you describe his personality if you were writing a wiki article. you're supposed to love the guy, right? And what does it say that "relatability", projecting yourself into the character, is the most frequent reason to love said character?

Anyway, I wish you all the best with your new friends, and honestly thank you for this ask that is way more detailed than anything I've seen so far lol

[the-fiction-witch]

I Will Eat You

Media IRL

Character Thomas

Couple Thomas X Reader

Rating Cute

I laid in bed wrapped up tightly with blankets and pillows trying to keep myself warm, keep myself steady so I didn't throw up or worse. I felt terrible so I did my best to try and settle myself to rest and relax. 

"Hey, little lady," Thomas spoke up as he poked his head through the door 

"Get out!" I whined 

"I know you're not very well, but if I may ask a little question?"

"What?" 

"Would we have... a little sexy time?"

"No."

"But before you say no!"

"I've already said no."

"But... please consider, I have been cleaning out the kitchen today"

"Really?" I glared poking my head out the covers "You feel so entitled, that you literally feel like you deserve a blow job for cleaning the kitchen?"

"I mean... I'm not gonna say no. But while I was cleaning I found some chocolate at the back of the pantry, and because it was almost out of date.... I ate it. And now have discovered it was that horny chocolate we bought and forgot about." 

"So now?"

"So now I can't think straight because my dick is overriding all over thoughts in my brain" 

"No. if it's that much of an issue go jerk off in the bathroom."

"But I wanna have fun with my little lady."

"No!"

"Fine" he sighed going back to... whatever it was he was doing before he came to the bedroom, so I got myself cosy and cuddly trying to fight away my sickness for what felt like a good hour or two "Y/n?" He cooed 

"Hummm?"

"Did you want a little sexy time now?"

"No thomas."

"Aww, please?"

"No."

"What if I just came and gave you a little cuddle to make you feel better?" He asks coming closer to the bed

"You come near me I will eat you" I warn

"Okay, what if I brought you a snack?"

"What kind of snack?" I asked poking my head out a little 

"Pringles, and jelly-filled marshmallows you're favourite"

"Where did you get marshmallows?"

"I found them at the back of the cupboard, they fell down the back you must have thought you ate them all" 

I took the marshmallows and pulled them into my little tent "You may sit. for five minutes"

"Thank you very much little lady" He laughs giving my forehead a little kiss as he sat "Also do you have any idea where the pup is?" 

"Here" I answered moving the covers to reveal our puppy lying with me inside the covers 

"Oh I've been looking for you" He laughed giving the pup a stroke 

"He's here making me feel better."

"Why do you get all the cuddles?"

"Because he knows I'm sick. so he's here to make me better."

"I'll cuddle you to make you feel better."

"No. You have ulterior motives" I glared 

"I mean... you're telling me the puppy doesn't? he humps stuff way more than I do."

"Not anymore, he's a good boy he doesn't hump things now he's had his appointment" I cooed "Maybe we should do that to you" 

"Nahh I need Mine!" He complained

"Do you? really?" 

"Fine, you get some rest." He smiled before he headed off elsewhere 

So I got cosy and cuddly trying to get some sleep for a good while

"Awwww... she's so cute, what a wute wittle wady, all sweepy" He cooed coming and petting my hair but I flicked my eye open to glare at him "ahhh! she's awake!" 

"What do you want?" I glared 

"I brought you McDonald. to make you feel better."

"Did you get nuggets?"

"Nuggets, chicken burger, milkshake and a happy meal as they have the cute toys you wanted. You gonna come out your little tent now?"

"Alright" I sighed getting out of bed but keeping the duvet and blankets around me as I shuffled away 

"Well... your out of bed" He shrugs "As I got you Mcdonalds... can we have some sexy time?"

"Later." I sighed

"YES!"

"But slow, because you move me around to fast and I throw up you cleaning the bed."

"Deal" 

[monorayjak]

I... it's getting hard to live like this. Hiding who I am to so many people. It hurts. I wrote a thing earlier today and I felt I summed up the feeling pretty well I think, reworded a bit to sound better:

"It feels like torturous self harm to be fully aware of who I am and yet imprison myself in a fortress of a false identity that's slowly caving in around me."

What I'm getting at here... I think... I think it might be time for me to come out to some people...and I really need some advice.

As of now, only four people IRL know about me, that's my therapist, my cousin (who was genuinely more like a sister to me), a friend at college (I knew they were extremely supportive and they had no connection to other people I know, so it seemed like a safe bet to tell her (I was right)), a friend I interacted with occasionally in high school who has since come out as trans herself (actually what got me to message her, saw her online and wanted to ask so I didn't misgender her or anything, and we got talking and I quickly realized she'd understand.)

At the moment, I'm still living with my mom, which is fine, I know she'll support me in her own way (she's queer herself, she has internalized issues, but she tries). I know my university I go to, despite having once been a "christian college," have opened up and been supportive of most of the students who do come out in one way or another. I know at least a few of the professors there who are absolutely trying to be supportive to everyone to the best of their abilities. My therapist knows, as mentioned before, but he is also... well, he ain't exactly a pro with gender and sexuality stuff (still a good guy, he just messes up what he's talking about here and there, like using masculine pronouns when he talks about a transwoman (largely I think its because he usually talks about them when they first started transitioning, and I don't think he thinks about gendering them correctly in reference to them coming out... if that makes any sense).

The issues... well, for one, I live in the bible belt. My extended family (who we are finally trying to cut ourselves off from now that the only think holding us together (my grandmother) is gone) lives all around me and the majority of them are.........well lets just say they really don't like my mom being gay, and one of them bullied a kid he was fostering because, in his words, "the kid's a fucking sissy!" Yeah... not a fan of that uncle. (In related news I am genuinely afraid of that man because he is very fucking clearly not mentally stable and has talked about killing himself and others before (while preaching at church!) and he is... really aggressive and has access to guns) I'm too poor to even consider leaving the state, and with... well frankly I'm a bit of a fuckup who really can't live on their own... yeah... fun times. Insurance may cover parts of things, but... honestly I don't even fucking know. Like I said, I know my mom will try to support me, but she is also... well, how do I say this? She tends to not know how to react to stuff. A large reason I don't talk about stuff with her is that she has a habit of turning it around into something about herself (not in a manipulative way, mind you. I just think she doesn't realize why it feels bad to tell her something like this and then have her break down a bit because I didn't tell her sooner or because she didn't work it out herself or anything like that). Basically, if I tell her, its either going to go one of two ways.

She reacts negatively and turns it around about herself and takes the moment to be hurt she didn't work things out or that I didn't tell her. (Literally once opened up to her when I was little (like 11?) about how much I hated myself... she said the next day she spent the entire night crying because she thought she failed... I understand what she was going for, but, honestly not something you should tell your kid who just opened up. Practically had it ingrained internally "If I feel bad, hide it. Because my mom will be devastated by it.")

She goes too supportive and expects me to be willing to open up immediately. Basically just forgetting she can't push me into being out and honest because it takes time to work up the courage.

Both of these options are... iffy. To say the least.

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

It's kind of funny/depressing how many of the women I know IRL who were doing the whole "teach men not to rape" thing start claiming to be "non-binary". So men are at fault for everything wrong with society and women are incapable of doing wrong, yet they aren't women now?

There are definitely people who are going to resent me for this but~

I understand the sentiment of your post but one of the things that I want to kind of acknowledge is the fact that non-binary is in my opinion and identify a used by people who hate their biological sex. And nine times out of 10 it's always women. But what's more than that is the fact that I think that the idea of non-binary is stupid because what it encompasses is literally exactly the same as gender non-conforming.

And not to get into identity politics with that particular discussion. But to get on to your point, it's never been about "teach men not to rape". Because anyone with a brain stem nose that most humans throughout the entirety of History have known that rape is bad. We are very much taught that rape is bad. Mind you I'm sure there are some people on Earth who have never been taught the rape is bad and some may be taught that rape isn't a real thing.

I saw a video come out of India a while back I don't know in what providence, where they were asking women do they believe in rape. Several of them said that no rape isn't real a few said that they think rape is real but if it does happen then they definitely deserved it and exceedingly few had any negative understandings of it. Which blew my mind. To think that there are places on Earth where that's a thing. In the West though? Yeah no all of the men who rape know that it's bad. Unless they are literally just so mentally ill they don't know anything. And they just decided to take whatever felt good to them.

But to backtrack a little bit it also doesn't make sense to me that anyone would identify as non-binary in the first place. Purely for no other reason then they are like "yeah, like, I'm not inside of the binary". To which I normally have to respond to them actually yes you very much are. And not only are you but no one is going to view you is non-binary if they have a general understanding of reality and aren't insane. Hell most of the people who use the non-binary label don't even view themselves as non-binary or anyone else who claims to be such.

And look, if you're generally gender non-conforming that's fine there's no issues with that. But it doesn't matter if you say you're non-binary a person's going to look at you and go "that's a man", Or, "that's a woman". Because most of the earth still fundamentally views gender and sex is being the same because the terms have almost uniquely been interchangeable for decades. Although, I would be interested to see what the backlash would look like if all men stopped treating people who claimed to be non-binary like women. I'm sure the outrage would make 2020 look peaceful.

[thatnarcissisticfeel]

Hi! I’d like a little bit of advice, if that’s okay. I don’t have any close friends I can tell this to, but you seem to have a good head on your shoulders.

So here’s the gist: my FP and I have been on and off contact for about two years now, and last November I was under the impression that i was going to cut all contact forever. Fast forward until maybe two days ago, I see them checking out my story, and I miss them a ton so of course I say ‘hello what are you doing here silly goose. You’re not supposed to be here.’ And they say ‘I just wanted to check up on you. I’ve had a lot of trouble moving on.’

So we start talking again and they tell me they’re doing okay and that they realised some things that may make staying in contact a whole lot easier, and it HAS. Except for one thing.

We don’t have the same problems we did before but for this one issue: they’re addicted to their work and they don’t make time for me.

I don’t know if it’s just me being batshit needy or whatever, but it’s literally only been two days, and the lack of attention from them is physically painful. I don’t know how they’re doing on the other side of it and I’m too scared to bring it up, but all of our interactions so far have been very friendly and affectionate and fine.

However, if this need for attention and depression about not getting it ISN’T an overreaction, what do I do?

Their work comes first, I know that, and they know that. It’s non-negotiable, really. I don’t think they’ll make any changes if I ask them to spend more time together, or if they do, I’m scared they’ll get upset about it.

We also both know that I prefer spending a lot of time together.

Being with them but not “with” them is really painful for me, and it’s only been two days. I feel myself slipping into another depression already, the intense kind that I only ever got when we were in contact.

Should I ask to spend more time together? In the past, that sort of request would have made them really moody and avoidant, but since they’ve grown a little, I wonder if it’ll be okay.

We started out irl but then we became long distance, btw, so naturally spending time together is really difficult. It’s just that they’re always ALWAYS doing something else, even when they have free time. It just feels kind of pointless to hold my heart out for them when they’re not with me.

Is the problem me? Should we talk it out or should I just cut contact again?

-

🍀 anon

Without knowing the full details of your situation, it sounds like they ARE genuine about missing you - while, albeit, ALSO having the problem of being obsessed with their work. And again, I don't know the full details of their/your situation. If they're genuinely in such an awful work environment where they have no time for other relationships whatsoever, that's one thing....but if they're using that as an excuse to choose work over you, that is very much not a cool move, in my opinion.

(And even if the first option is true, I'd like to believe that some sort of compromise can still exist? Like at bare minimum they could dedicate their breaks and time off to you??? I may be misunderstanding the situation, but it sounds like they're NOT doing that, in which case I am truly sorry, wtf.)

I don't think you're needy or overreacting at all. I mean, there's nothing wrong at all with being "needy" or "overreacting" - but even so, I still don't think that's the case, as your reactions are VERY human especially for a human with NPD. But I also understand (and also i applaud YOU for the fact that YOU understand) that their work does genuinely come first. I like to believe that's not a choice - because if it was a choice, and they'd consistently choose work over you, that'd def be a problem. But if something not in your or their control, God, I can totally understand and relate to how that's painful on ALL ends.

I don't think you're the problem at all, and I do think it is possible to negotiate in some way. Like I said, them dedicating their days off to you could be an excellent first step, and I do think you should try to bring this up/propose this idea in the most comfortable ways possible for you. Without knowing the nature of their work, would it be possible/make you feel better if you reached out to them through the day, just so you know they're there reading your messages and will respond to them when they get a chance? Or of course if the thought of being left on read/delivered makes things worse, obviously this is something you SHOULDN'T do, but if it's ok with you that may be a great way to help you feel more connected and give you a bit of an extra push to keep them in the loop of YOUR life.

I hope that helped - let me know if you'd like further advice!