#I apologize to my fallout mutuals

[thefallenangelsgang]

The Avantris Fam Discord got this a few days early, but, in a burst of academic energy I haven't felt in weeks, I wrote a 2k word Literary Analysis on Marius from Edge of Midnight in 4 hours (complete with citations and sources)

What you are about to read is the culmination of an 18 day hyper fixation (I averaged more than a session* a day) (*each session being about 3 hours in length). It has only been slightly edited for better Tumblr consumption. It is legitimately almost 2k words. It starts VERY academic (as I get to flex my knowledge on an obscure Arthurian legend I love) and then immediately drops off in quality as I traverse some "dubious psycho-analysis" (my own words) and try to wrap up a half finished thoughts that should be thousands of words longer.

If you want to see my active descent into madness or the original google doc this was written in, join the discord (linked above!). I've got massive Legends of Avantris Brain Rot and will for a very long time I fear.

TW for Sexual Assault Themes (please tell me if my tw tags are not extensive enough)

CW for my insufferable academic attitude, literary analysis where no one wanted it, "dubious psycho-analysis", half finished thoughts, DnD, vampires, and my sailors mouth

Marius: An Analysis on Chivalry and Chastity

Break to save your dash

To get the literary shit out of the way, Marius’s seduction is a parallel of the Arthurian Legend “Sir Gawain and the Green Knight” intentionally or not. I have a sneaking suspicion perhaps The Duchess scene is also based on the “Tale of Sir Galahad” bit in Monty Python and the Holy Grail BUT that bit draws inspiration from Gawain’s story. So no matter which way you cut it, Marius is connected to Gawain to SOME degree.

Attempting to be brief, I’ll sum up Gawain as briefly as I, someone who loves this tale a ridiculous amount, can.

Gawain is King Arthur’s nephew, a knight of the round table, young, chivalrous, pious, but itching to prove himself. He loves the aging Arthur and Arthur loves him like a son but he feels restless in his station because he has not gone on a great quest like many of the other knights. 

Serendipitously, during the New Years celebrations a strange man enters Arthur’s great hall. He is green and carries a great axe in one hand and a bough of holly in his other. He challenges anyone in the room to hit him with the axe and he will return the blow in a year and a day. No one takes the man up on the challenge. Arthur is about to do it when Gawain takes his chance to prove himself. Thinking he can outsmart the Green Knight, Gawain cleaves the man’s head from his shoulders. Unexpectedly the Green Knight picks up his detached head, leaves the axe for Gawain as a trophy, and strides out of there with the reminder that he will return the blow in a year and a day. Gawain has effectively doomed himself.

Attempting to put off his fate, Gawain waits to seek the Green Knight until All Saints Day (November 1st). He is sent forth with all of the pomp and circumstance a Knight of the Round Table and favorite of King Arthur can get. He spends nearly two months seeking someone who knows of the Green Chapel where the Green Knight resides and is fruitless. Winter sets in and he begins to suffer exposure when he is greeted by a beautiful castle that seemingly appears out of nowhere. He meets the Lord of the Castle and the Lord's beautiful wife. In the spirit of Christmas the Lord challenges Gawain to a game. The Lord will be hunting the next three days, anything he catches is to be Gawain’s. In return Gawain is to give the Lord anything he receives during his stay.

Well what Gawain receives is a lot of unwanted attention from the Lord’s wife. She attempts to seduce the ever pious Knight. Gawain, minding his promise and his tenets, only allows her six kisses over the course of the three days. All of which he returns to the Lord. But seeing as she can’t sway him with the sins of the flesh, she tempts Gawain with magic. The same day she convinces Gawain to receive three kisses she offers him an enchanted sash that will keep him from harm. Gawain accepts this knowing it will save his life in the coming days. He breaks his promise to the Lord and does not divulge this gift.

Gawain keeps his appointment with the Green Knight who admonishes Gawain when he flinches at the first swing, holds back on his second, and finally drives home the third, only wounding Gawain slightly. Gawain now must confess his temptation to the Green Knight who tells him that it is not Gawain’s fault. This has all been a plan by Morgan le Fay to attempt to ruin Arthur. Gawain only fell to part of her plan and so it has been thwarted. He should learn from this stumble on his path. And learn he does.

Monty Python takes this tale and guts it for “the Tale of Sir Galahad” segment. Galahad is instead searching for the Grail when he stumbles upon a mystical castle with a grail shaped beacon. His temptress(es) are the “8 scores” of young women of Castle Anthrax. He too enters the castle sick from exposure and wounded and thwarts unwanted advances until he learns that the grail is not there. Before he can fall to his temptation Lancelot, Ector, and ironically Gawain rescue him from his “peril” judging it to be “too perilous” for him to face. (It is really important to note that the actual Sir Galahad in Arthurian Legend doesn’t have a story that even resembles this one. Galahad is supposed to be an emulation of good ol’ Jesus Christ and the perfect chivalric Knight. He literally ascends to heaven in his tale. The only reason Gawain’s Tale is used is because it is the perfect setting to test “Sir Galahad the Pure” as long as you fudge a few details.)

These are both humorous stories with happy endings. It is important that Marius’s story is not.

Marius is searching for the Grail much like Sir Galahad in Monty Python and the Holy Grail (a parallel Mikey brings up often by singing “Brave, Brave, Brave, Brave Sir Robin Marius”). 

Like both Gawain and Galahad his quest leads him on a lengthy adventure that causes him to suffer from exposure to the elements. A fate he is saved from by a mystical castle that appears out of nowhere. 

Much like Gawain and Galahad, this Castle is the home of a seductress. 

And all too much like Sir Gawain, the Lord of this Castle is away on a hunting expedition. 

But here is where Sir Gawain, Sir Galahad, and Sir Marius’s stories diverge. Because Marius’s story partially is a story of sexual assault. 

We see in the ritual that Marius’s “head is filled with exhaustion, wine, and a strange perfume that feels almost magical in its enchantment” (Nikkie’s narration, 2:32:00, Chapter 17). There’s literally no other way to say this, Marius cannot consent to the acts about to take place in The Red Duchess’s bedchamber. He is too sick, too drunk, and, on top of it, literally charmed. 

His affliction is also another facet of this assault. While his transformation is not a direct result or part of the sex act, it follows quickly on the heels of it. Nikkie even notes Marius is still naked and that the shame of what has just happened is beginning to bubble up.

(Now this is where I get into the dubious psycho-analysis)

Perhaps attempting to swallow that shame, he accepts the Faux Grail and drinks from it, not questioning the appearance of the so-called Grail of Dawn. If he can just get through this night he can bring it back to Victor and all will be righted. He can live with the shame if it saves his kingdom. 

But that isn’t the Grail of Dawn he is drinking from and the woman who has just taken something irreplaceable from him is not just a beautiful woman looking for the comforts of the flesh on a cold, lonely winter’s night. And he is going through something so much more horrible than being assaulted like he has been.

And so he ends up back in the cold, irrevocably changed through no fault of his own, and he hates himself for it.

It’s heartbreakingly common that Sexual Assault survivors blame themselves for being assaulted. Marius’s conviction that he was at fault, that if only he was stronger, smarter, less feeble, he could have found a way to say no. He could have escaped her clutches. He wouldn’t be a Dhampir. He wouldn’t be haunted by her noxious perfume. He would still have his clear connection to Lathander. 

None of it is really his fault. The Duchess took advantage of him. There was truly nothing he could have done to change his fate that night.

At this point I am trying to articulate some of the things @middycat_ @zer09851 and @purpledinosaurdnd were talking about here https://discord.com/channels/223485292449890305/892828741900849182/1182483200505815153 

I think I want to jump into my High Inquisitor thoughts because they tie so closely with the novel I wrote above. This section is admittedly a little more scatterbrained. 

The High Inquisitor is a perfect example of both Marius’s self loathing and the way abusers seemingly can sniff out who has been abused before. From the second we meet her she singles Marius out. While yes, Marius is the most “normal” out of the EoM cast, Jericho is a MUCH easier target. He is touch starved and his sin is literally Envy. Jericho would have bent immediately at the first hints of affection and then she has an actual demon under her control. But Marius, though a tougher catch, is a much tastier meal so to say. (Not in that way you freaks /j) 

By answering to the High Inquisitor’s beckoning is how we end up with Marius as the Crimson Abbot. His self hatred would make him spiral and he’d turn to his Wrath to compensate. We��ve seen it before, especially recently when he thinks Lathander has abandoned him. He gives in because it's so much easier. She wants me? Fine. Let her have me in all of my broken glory. I’m too wrong to serve Lathander. Etc etc. 

Man, I wish I could string these thoughts together better.

AHA! This was the thought I had that I felt needed more context! 

@middycat_ brought up “hoping beyond hope that it’s not lathander’s choice to leave him”

I think the severed connection between him and Lathander is both a subconscious self-sabotage and a direct result of the ritual binding him to The Red Duchess. 

Most of the binding rituals I was pretty comfortable with. Lethica, Briggsy, Farryn, and somewhat Yorgrim were simply binding themselves to their gods/patrons. (I’m still not entirely sure what the Maiden of the Mists' whole deal is about but she seems mostly benevolent for now. Mr Crossroads didn’t really make Briggsy that way, he kinda was a bastard from the start. The zombification was a result of “fuck around and find out”). The ones I felt least comfortable with and that are reaping the most consequences are Jericho and Marius. Jericho’s character analysis is another similarly sized tome that will have to wait but he is having a harder and harder time keeping Virgil in check. Marius has bound himself to the woman that literally raped him. 

No wonder Lathander has found it hard to commune with him, The Duchess is practically breathing down his neck, whispering in his ear that he is not worthy of Lathander. He has been debased, ruined, made unloveable in the eyes of that god. And at least up until Chapter 22 he has been pushing back against that. Not any longer. He’s given in. As @middycat_ said “he’s a tired old man, a jaded old soldier who should have long since given up this fight to someone else.” 

I am afraid we are about to see the beginnings of the Crimson Abbot

And the only thing that can save Marius are his friends.

But I am also afraid they may not learn their lessons in time. Many of them tried to encourage him to fuck or made fun of him for not fucking the High Inquisitor when he was clearly triggered by something. 

Jericho will have to quash his envy. 

Briggsy and Farryn will have to admit they were wrong.

Lethica and Yorgrim will have to speak up.

Inaction hurts as much as action

And Marius needs all the help he can get.

[If you stuck this out A) you deserve awards and B) check out my other 2k word research essay on a niche topic: Why Ghouls Look Different Across the Fallout Games (Not because of Stylistic Differences) ]

This is fucking insane but here are the sources i used

Sir Gawain

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sir_Gawain_and_the_Green_Knight https://www.yorku.ca/inpar/sggk_neilson.pdf (Translation PDF if you want to read the tale)

Sir Galahad

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Galahad (for the one time i reference his actual arthurian legend)

Monty Python (I really can’t believe I cited this)

https://montycasinos.com/montypython/grailmm2.php.html (This is a script I was quoting from) https://montypython.fandom.com/wiki/Sir_Galahad (I was looking for other info on him in the movie but ended pulling the list of knights from this)

Pretty basic article on why victims blame themselves

https://www.throughthewoodstherapy.com/sexual-assault-survivors-blame/ (In case you want to do some light reading)

EoM Episodes

17 + 22 Definitely Anytime the High Inquisitor shows up

[csuzlipofa]

Willing to earn it

Daniela x Fem!reader

pt.1

Synopsis: Daniela is willing to do anything for you to trust her again. Will you accept her apology?

slow burn, hurt/comfort, mutual pining, fluff

Warnings: -

Weeks turned into months, but the ache never left. For you, the betrayal lingered like a shadow, refusing to dissipate no matter how much time passed. For Daniela, the guilt gnawed at her every day, an ever-present reminder of her own recklessness.

Her friends tried to move on, though the tension within the group was palpable. Even Megan stopped teasing Daniela, the reality of the fallout having sobered everyone. Sophia tried to smooth things over.

“Dani, you can’t keep beating yourself up,” Sophia said one afternoon as the group gathered at her house again. Daniela sat apart from them, staring at her untouched drink.

“It’s my fault,” Daniela muttered. “I hurt her. I don’t even know how to fix it.”

“You start by giving her space,” Lara offered gently. “You messed up, Dani. Big time. But if she ever forgives you, it’ll be on her terms—not yours.”

Daniela nodded but remained silent. She wasn’t sure she deserved forgiveness.

It was a Friday evening when your paths crossed again. You were at the local park, sketchbook in hand, the fading sunlight casting warm hues over the landscape. Drawing had always been your solace, a way to express the emotions you couldn’t voice.

You didn’t expect anyone to disturb you, least of all Daniela.

“Y/N,” her voice broke the quiet, hesitant but familiar.

You glanced up, your heart sinking at the sight of her. She looked different—exhausted, almost. The confidence she always carried seemed worn thin.

“What are you doing here?” you asked flatly, turning your attention back to your sketchbook.

“I—I didn’t mean to bother you,” she stammered. “I just… I wanted to talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you replied, your voice cold but trembling.

“There is,” Daniela said, stepping closer. “I know I don’t deserve a second chance, and I know I hurt you in a way I can’t take back. But I need you to know I’m sorry. Not just for the bet, but for everything—for making you feel like you were anything less than amazing.”

Her words hung in the air, and for a moment, you didn’t know what to say. Part of you wanted to yell, to scream at her for the pain she caused. But another part—the part that remembered the warmth in her smile and the way she made you feel seen—wanted to listen.

“Why now?” you asked quietly, finally meeting her eyes. “Why are you here?”

“Because I can’t keep pretending I’m okay with the way things are,” Daniela admitted. Her voice cracked, and she looked away, trying to compose herself. “You didn’t just change me, Y/N. You made me realize how empty everything else was—how much I needed someone who actually cared about me for me, not who I pretended to be.”

Tears pricked at your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. “And how do I know this isn’t just another game?”

“It’s not,” she said, her voice firm. “I swear, it’s not. I know I can’t make you believe me overnight, but I’ll spend as long as it takes proving it to you. Even if that means just being your friend. I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give me.”

You stared at her, searching her face for any hint of deception. But all you saw was sincerity—a vulnerability you’d never seen in Daniela before.

“I don’t know if I can forgive you,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

“I understand,” she said softly. “But I’m not going anywhere, Y/N. Not until you tell me to.”

The two of you stood in silence, the weight of her words sinking in. For the first time in months, the walls around your heart wavered, if only slightly.

“I need time,” you finally said, closing your sketchbook and standing up. “That’s all I can give you right now.”

Daniela nodded, her expression a mix of hope and regret. “Take all the time you need. I’ll wait.”

As you walked away, you couldn’t help but glance back. Daniela was still standing there, watching you go, her hands shoved into her pockets and her shoulders slumped.

Over the next few weeks, Daniela kept her promise. She didn’t push, didn’t hover. Instead, she found small, subtle ways to show you she was serious. A cup of coffee left at your usual library spot with a sticky note that simply read “For the artist who never rests.” A carefully chosen book slipped into your locker, its title related to a topic you’d once mentioned in passing. She was persistent, but not intrusive, allowing you to take the lead if you wanted to.

At first, you ignored the gestures, brushing them off as attempts to ease her guilt. But over time, you started to notice the sincerity behind them. She wasn’t asking for anything in return. She wasn’t trying to force a conversation or even make her presence known. It was as if she was letting her actions speak louder than her words ever could.

One rainy afternoon, you found yourself standing in front of the coffee shop near school. You hadn’t planned on coming here, but the sudden downpour had forced you to seek refuge. As you shook the rain from your jacket, you glanced around the warm, cozy space.

And then you saw her. Daniela was sitting in the corner, a textbook open in front of her, a look of concentration on her face as she tapped her pen against the page. She hadn’t noticed you yet, and for a moment, you debated walking right back out.

But something stopped you.

With a deep breath, you approached her table. She looked up when you stopped in front of her, her eyes widening in surprise.

“Hey,” you said softly.

“Y/N,” she said, blinking as if she wasn’t sure you were real. “Hi. What are you doing here?”

You hesitated, clutching the strap of your bag. “The rain. I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“Oh.” She closed her textbook quickly, as if embarrassed to have been caught studying. “Do you… want to sit?”

You considered saying no, but instead, you nodded and slid into the chair across from her. The silence between you was heavy at first, but not uncomfortable.

“I’ve noticed the notes,” you said after a while, breaking the quiet.

Daniela’s face flushed, and she looked down at her hands. “I wasn’t sure if you’d want me to say anything directly. I didn’t want to make things harder for you.”

“You didn’t,” you admitted. “They were… nice.”

Her eyes lifted to meet yours, a flicker of hope in them. “Really?”

You nodded, looking down at the table. “I’ve been thinking a lot. About what you said. About everything.”

“And?” she asked cautiously.

You took a deep breath, your fingers tracing patterns on the wooden surface. “I’m still hurt, Daniela. What you did—it wasn’t fair. You made me feel like I could trust you, and then…”

“I know,” she interrupted gently. “I’ll never forgive myself for that. But I’m trying to be better, Y/N. Not just for you, but for myself. I’ve been selfish for a long time, and meeting you made me realize that. You made me want to be someone worth knowing.”

Her words hung in the air, and you could feel the sincerity in them. Part of you wanted to believe her, but the other part was still scared.

“I don’t know if I can trust you again,” you said honestly.

“I understand,” Daniela said quietly. “But I’m willing to earn it, even if it takes the rest of my life.”

You looked at her, seeing the vulnerability in her eyes—the same vulnerability she’d shown in the park. For the first time, you wondered if maybe, just maybe, she really had changed.

“Okay,” you said softly.

“Okay?” she repeated, her voice hopeful.

“I’m not saying I forgive you,” you clarified. “But… maybe we can try being friends. See where it goes from there.”

Daniela’s smile was small but genuine, a mixture of relief and gratitude. “I’d like that. A lot.”

For the first time in what felt like forever, you felt a weight lift from your chest. It wasn’t a perfect resolution, but it was a step forward.

As weeks turned into months, the tentative friendship between you and Daniela began to blossom into something deeper. She stayed true to her word, taking things slow, showing you through actions rather than words that she was committed to earning your trust.

She didn’t try to force her way back into your life. Instead, she met you where you were, celebrating your passions, listening when you opened up, and respecting your boundaries. The walls you had built around your heart began to crack, little by little, as Daniela proved herself in ways you hadn’t expected.

One crisp autumn evening, the two of you sat side by side at the park, your sketchbook balanced on your lap. Daniela leaned back against the bench, her hands tucked into her jacket pockets.

“This feels nice,” she said softly, looking up at the canopy of orange and gold leaves above you.

You glanced at her, your pencil pausing mid-sketch. “What does?”

“This. Just being here with you.” She turned to meet your eyes, her expression open and unguarded. “I never thought I could feel like this with someone. Like… I don’t have to pretend to be anything other than who I am.”

Her words caught you off guard, but you didn’t look away. Instead, you felt your heart ache—not with pain, but with something gentler, something warmer.

“You don’t have to pretend,” you said quietly.

A small smile tugged at her lips. “Thanks to you.”

For a moment, the two of you simply looked at each other, the world around you fading into the background. Then, as if drawn by an invisible force, she reached out, her hand hovering near yours on the bench.

You hesitated but then let your fingers brush against hers. The touch was tentative, like the first rays of sunlight breaking through a storm.

Daniela’s smile grew, her fingers curling gently around yours. “Is this okay?”

You nodded, your chest tight with an emotion you hadn’t dared to name before. “Yeah. It’s okay.”

In that moment, all the hurt and doubt seemed to melt away, replaced by the quiet promise of something new—something real.

Months later, as snow blanketed the ground and holiday lights twinkled in the windows of every house, you found yourself standing in front of the Avanzini family’s roaring fireplace. The girls were scattered around the room, laughing and exchanging gifts.

Daniela stood next to you, her hand intertwined with yours, a soft smile on her face as she looked at you. Her friends had accepted your relationship with surprising ease, and even Megan—who had once instigated the bet—had apologized to you in her own awkward way.

“You okay?” Daniela asked, leaning in so only you could hear her.

You looked up at her, the warmth in her eyes making your heart flutter. “I’m more than okay.”

She grinned, pulling you a little closer. “Good. Because I’m not letting you go. Ever.”

You rolled your eyes playfully but couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face. For the first time in a long time, you felt whole.

And as Daniela pressed a soft kiss to your temple, you knew that despite everything, you’d found something worth holding onto—a love that had grown from the ashes of a broken trust, stronger and brighter than you ever thought possible.

[elizais]

arguments and make ups

when he realises he fucked up,, -dazai x gn reader warnings: nothing too specifically mentioned that you are arguing over

proper fallouts with dazai were uncommon. little bickers were bound to happen yet this had spiraled a little from something you just wanted to ask about. you were asking a genuine question over god knows what, it had been a long day for the both of you and sarcastic answer after sarcastic answer had put you both on your last straws.

stood in the kitchen, he was still joking around and it was frustrating. he's a man too smart for his own good, yet he hadn't realised that you were tired and didn't want to drag anything on. sighing, you pinched the bridge of your nose for a moment and looked at him.

"no, osamu, it's not-" you spoke, yet he only heard those 4 painful words. you don't call him that. you don't call him osamu. you call him 'samu or something sweet only he can hear. he became instantly lost in his own thoughts, staring off into space and you saw he wasn't listening to your point.

groaning, you walked into the bedroom. neither of you even remembered why or when this started. he stood there, knowing his sweet nothings wouldn't get him out of this situation. he should have just given you the answer straight up and not wind you up like he would for amusement any other day.

nobody ever called him osamu, at work he was dazai, chuuya called him an array of insults and at home he was 'samu. for someone so clever, and who always has a plan, he would have never planned to upset you. his mind began a competition of what voice inside his head could say 'no' the loudest to every possible solution he came up with.

if he was thinking rationally, he would have known you just wanted two peaceful minutes after a stressful day. he waited until he could hear you turn the shower on before quietly leaving the house after taking some leftovers out of the fridge for you to see when you come out to eat.

he wandered up and down yokohama's streets a little, feeling regretful. he knew you wouldn't hold a grudge but he wasn't going to forgive himself. you always treated him so well, never making him feel like a 'demon prodigy' or half of the 'double black' duo, and you unknowingly proved odasaku wrong. he always thought of how oda's words that claimed "there is no place in this world that can fill your loneliness" died the moment he met you.

osamu checked the time, thinking he should head back. he knew it would take more than a silly keychain of toro inoue to save his case yet he still bought one as he passed a corner shop.

arriving back home, you walked out of the bathroom door as he took off his shoes. he quickly shrugged off his coat and rushed towards you, pressing a chaste kiss to your hairline with a whisper of "give me 5 minutes, love." and hurrying to the bedroom and bathroom to get changed and have a shower - knowing it will boost his chances of getting you to cuddle with him as he apologises.

scrolling on your phone on the couch, you heard soft footsteps plodding over. a man who resembled an ashamed dog with his tail between his legs carefully sat down next to you. not looking up from your phone, you could feel his sorrow radiating off of him.

"darling, you know i-" you cut him off, "'samu, it's just been a long day." you responded calmly, looking up at him before a faint smile tugged at his lips. he could tell you were feeling better and wrapped his arms around you. falling down so that his back was laying on the couch and holding you on top of him.

"i'm sorry" he sprinkled in hundreds of times through peppered kisses on your head. giggles filled the room as he wriggled you around, smiling and forgetting about a silly frustration.

whoops!! accidentally forgot this is a blog with silly little fanfictions - consider this an apology pretty pleaseeee also: sorry for not chatting with my mutuals recently! life got in the way and shit hit the fan for a second!!

[molinaesque]

Cooper Howard and Lucy MacLean's rare and wonderful dynamic (and how it's ultimately alright if they don't become "endgame" or whatever)

First off... I'm saying this as a HUGE ghoulcy shipper btw. I don't wanna hear about some bullshit about how "you just don't like the ship" or something dumb like that (have you SEEN the state of my blog??). I ADORE this ship. These are also ultimately my own thoughts. Do not be affronted if this somehow doesn't apply to your hcs. At the end of the day, this is fiction, nothing more.

Something I have to note on about the wonderful dynamic between Cooper and Lucy. Even if ghoulcy stays platonic, I'm fine with it because this is the closest dynamic to Jack/Liz from 30 Rock that l've seen, and if anyone's seen that show, you KNOW what I'm talking about. Let me explain.

Jack/Liz were two v complex characters that had so much chemistry but the way their "relationship" worked was so unique in that they were never romantic but they're WAY more than just colleagues/ friends, etc. There was literally an article titled like "why you'll never see this kind of relationship in television again" and ghoulcy has the potential to be that again which is still GREAT! It even goes on to talk about how they're COMPLETE AND POLAR OPPOSITES but the dynamic still works and how they feed off of each other in the only way no other characters can. The "dynamic" is THEIRS and theirs only. Seem familiar?

From what we're getting not just in the Fallout show but from interviews with the actors and creatives involved, we're already getting that special dynamic. However, I must stress that many of the comments and those interviews (imo) are sometimes taken TOO literally. The existing text and subtext of the ship is already abundant and ripe so I feel like not EVERYTHING has to be referred to the ship and the ship only. I know it's mostly funsies but I legit wonder if some of this is taken too seriously to the point of misconstruing an actor's words and getting tunnel vision JUST for the sake of the ship and ship only, in turn cheapening what is already there. Kinda like what I've seen with people having to vilify Barb further with unnecessary inferences to scenes that give her more layers (like questioning her genuine love for Janey and Cooper. She can be loving AND a villain y'all. Both things don't have to be mutually exclusive) EVEN THOUGH SHE IS CLEARLY VILIFIED BY THE SHOW BY THE REVEAL SO WHY MAKE UP STUFF? To "punish" her more?? Apologies but this kinda reads as "I need to prop up my ship further so I MUST degrade the other ship" even though it's again... SUPER UNNECESSARY (I must stress I've seen this on ALL sides of shipping/character stanning. Both sides suck when you engage in this behaviour). Have fun and faith in the strength of your ships (ESPECIALLY if they're not "canon" adjacent)!

Anyway, as I was saying...

Going back to 30 Rock, there's literally a scene in the show where they get married due to shenanigans, they get in a big fight the whole episode and in the end sit down and have the most revealing discussion with a councilor about why they're so much more complex than typical relationship. And another scene where they sleep in the same bed together and addressed why they never hooked up with each other and why that's okay. By the way, I was also a HUGE shipper of these two... But I was fine with how they ended up with because the story of their special relationship that makes them uniquely THEM was clear and concise. This did not stop me from reading fics where they make kissy faces. It is possible to do both and I think some ppl tend to forget this.

I'm not saying this for the antis (don't like what you don't like, but if you harass shippers then you can suck eggs and leave. This applies to shippers to non shippers too btw. Be. Nice.), I'm saying all this because I want shippers to not "despair" if the ship that they've become so invested in doesn't come to fruition (and not go overboard into thinking that writers should listen to whatever audiences want all the time, we've been down this road SO many times, it's terrible. Do we REALLY need to talk about how The Rise of Skywalker turned out the way it did due to unnecessary pressure from the loudest antis/asshats in fandom? I think not). Maybe this is also more towards the younger audience members as a cautionary tale because we old ass millenials have seen and been through this but didn't have the immediacy of social media at our finger tips, so it was kinda easier to not be as reactionary. I don't like playing the "you youngins don't know what it was like" card, but at some points it is just a statement of reality. Some of you are/were LITERALLY too young to have experienced this.

Ultimately, what I'm saying is even if ghoulcy doesn't become "romantic", I'm fine with it as long as they stay within the "something more/beyond definition" dynamic which is ALWAYS refreshing to see. Give us more "what are we"! Give us more "it's complicated"! Give us more "we can't be summarized in neat little boxes"!

As long as they don't end up in the pit of "one dimensional interpretation of the Found Family trope which is somehow only just Familial and in this instance Father-Daughter". Please, I BEG. Nothing wrong for people to like this dynamic, but to immediately categorize this into that box is just... Tiresome. You can make the same arguments about "shipping two living beings together on screen all the time" too for sure... But again it leads to my point of if we're going the platonic route how about we NOT just shove it in the same boring dynamic of Father-Daughter that if you want, can find in multitudes of other forms of existing fictional media.

Tldr; have fun but always remember this is all fictional media in the end where we play with dolls in a sandbox. Just remember to BE. NORMAL. and not forget this and start shitting in it and flinging poo at each other. That goes with relationships with creators of said media too. Do NOT become parasocial and expect everything to be catered to you. The creators want to tell a story THEY came up with in the first place.

LET THEM.

[tomb-of-flora]

A deep apology to all my mutuals. I have been replaying Fallout: New Vegas on a new route for the last week or so and have occasionally left likes on things reposted by mutuals or accounts I followed with the intention of reblogging them later. I am on a brief New Vegas break, which means I finally got back to the outside world and had like 100 things I wanted to reblog in rapid succession (we're not even done, I'm just taking a break for the night).

Shoutout to the Big MT for being so easy to salvage from. I have been so slow at finishing Old World Blues that it has forced me to take a break and catch my breath before I go back in to pick another test facility clean.

I should probably talk about New Vegas more because I was already obsessed, but my second playthrough has truly begun to consume my life. It's honestly much more fun actually choosing one of the factions instead of just doing the Indepedent Route. It has made me think a lot more about my character and why she's making certain choices, VS the Independent Route where it's pretty easy to just insert utopia into the epilogue and pat yourself on the back for making the right choices.

[inkegg]

Antoinette/Toni

They/he

1999

Queer Filipino American comic artist/designer. Mostly posting about Fallout 4, Hellraiser & the Emperor from Baldurs Gate 3. But interested in monsters, wizards, vampires, and general horror with romance. I play visual novels and wizard101 sometimes.

No generative AI

Feel free to print my artwork out for PERSONAL USE. (Aka hanging in your bedroom) do NOT mass produce prints for sale and commercial use.

Okay to use my art for roleplay icon graphics with credit.

Okay to use my art as profile pictures and social media banners with credit.

Won't be mutuals with minors.

I spoil media. I apologize and warn in advance.

Occasionally posts/reposts gore and sexual/suggestive content

My art isn't for terfs or zionists/nazis.

Not interested in getting into anti/proship discourse. I think people should be allowed to create around any topic they want but that doesn't absolve them of criticism and the removal/exclusion of their work under private institutions.

Okie byee <3 I am now jerkin my regular sized peanists

[thetarttfuldickhead]

Jamie and Keeley fell back in love with each other on Keeley’s doorstep in 3x08. In this essay, I will—

Ah. You know what? I will, actually.

Ahem. Ever since Jamie came back to Richmond, him and Keeley have had an amicable and mutually affectionate relationship (always greeting one another, etc), but I don’t think there’s anything to suggest that they spend a lot of time together socially after Jamie’s return. Then there’s the funeral business and the fallout of that and the next time we see them interact it’s a whole new season, and given the slight awkwardness of otherwise fond encounter, I’d argue it’s likely the first time (or at least one of the relatively few times) they’ve talked in a bit. Not because they’ve been avoiding each other as such, but I imagine things got a little bit weird after Jamie’s profession of love. Once that was somewhat sorted (and in my heart I imagine some small conversation between them after Jamie and Roy have it all out, Keeley getting in touch like “I hear you apologized to Roy”) it’s the off-season, so there’s few chances of them bumping into each other at Nelson Road – and I do think that maybe Jamie was keen to maintain a respectful distance for a while, just to make it very clear that he’s not trying to woo her. As for Keeley, she was busy with her new company, so yeah, for all of those reasons, they didn’t see much of each other. Don’t really for two thirds of season 3 either.

But they never stop being fond of each other, yeah? They never stop caring. They’re just both all up in their own lives, Keeley with KJPR and her heartbreak and later her girlfriend, and Jamie with striving to be the best player and the best person he can be, the Zava of it all, and Roy. We know Keeley takes note of the changes in Jamie, but she’s got other priorities.

Then: the leak, and Jamie showing up on her doorstep, and the hug. And yes, of course it’s nothing but a headcanon, but to me that marks the moment when that old spark is quietly but undeniably rekindled.  

It’s pretty obvious in Jamie’s case. We know he never stopped loving Keeley: he accepted that their future was friendship and he focused on other things, but he never stopped loving her. And once he stood there, holding her, held by her, enveloped in her kindness and affection and with that familiar press of her body against his, her scent, everything he felt for her roared right back into full and flaming life: it’s not only loving her, it’s being in love with her. It’s arguably this (and the belief that her and Roy are well and truly over) that leads to him putting the moves on in 3x12.

For Keeley, I think it’s a bit more muted – more a realization of ‘I really like who this person has become and I’m so proud of how he’s grown and I could see something between us again’. (Also, holding him, being held. It’s Pavlovian.) It’s not really something she particularly plans to act on: she’s still reeling from the video leak and the Jack of it all, and she’s busy with her company. Still, it’s there.

For both of them, it’s there. Not grand or sweeping or all-consuming, not something that must lead to anything, but… Jamie and Keeley fell back in love with each other on that doorstep, and even if that doesn’t necessarily mean that things immediately or ever turn romantic between them again, they slowly but surely start hanging out properly again after that, just because they’ve been reminded of how much they truly like each other. How glad they are of one another. (Which does not in any way lessen or change the love they both have for Roy, by the way. The heart has infinite room.)

[poppyandzena]

As someone with borderline in remission, whose sister has active BPD and is working very hard to manage her symptoms, it’s genuinely depressing to hear how P&Z talk about BPD and infuriating to realize how many people with BPD listen to Poppy talking about it like it cannot be managed. I worked so goddamn hard to get to where I am today, and I am so goddamn proud of my beautiful, STRONG, WONDERFUL sister for how far she’s come with managing her own symptoms. When she recognizes herself starting to fixate on people or spiral around incidents, she tries to reach out to people she trusts and listen to their input rather than immediately letting her fears and pain drown her. Sometimes she still goes under, and when she gets enough distance from these situations to see clearly, she apologizes and tries to make amends. She’s learning more every day. When her “fixation” suddenly left her in an extremely traumatic way a couple of years ago (taking their pets with them and spreading horrible lies among their mutual friends on the way out) she fought the urge to try to find her and instead contacted my partner and me for support. And she managed the emotional fallout without giving in to her impulses. I was so proud of her then, just as I was proud of myself when I had a horrible fight with my partner and had the stability to take a walk and come back ready to talk about it calmly rather than going to extremes.

If you are reading this and have been convinced by P&Z that those emotional black holes that open underneath you are just your fate and cannot be changed: please listen to me. It doesn’t have to be this way. Love doesn’t have to be a roller coaster, you can love someone and have them be a genuine place of stability for you. You can experience all of that joy without the dread of what comes when they cross the line between “favorite person” and genuine partner. The relief that comes with recognizing that you will be forgiven, that you will still be LOVED, is worth building towards. I know how painful it is to live with BPD, and I know how much more painful it feels to fight it, but the world is so much bigger and so much more beautiful when you don’t explore it constantly weighted down by dread. The struggle is worth it. I promise. I may not know you, but I know there is a path from where you are to where I am. Don’t give in to despair. Don’t accept a lifetime of being victimized by your own emotions. You deserve much better than to just survive the storms, you deserve to LIVE. You deserve to know how it feels to fall asleep next to someone you love and trust that they will still love you if you wake up screaming and disrupt their sleep. You deserve to understand that you are not lying to those you love, you truly are someone worth caring about. You deserve relationships (familial, platonic, romantic or otherwise) that grow stronger through healing rather than being shattered by any conflict. You deserve to learn who you are underneath all the debris, and learn how you can love yourself and how you want to be loved by others. I hope you find your path to happiness, whatever form it may take.

I was afraid once of getting better because I was afraid I wouldn’t feel things as intensely and/or I’d lose my creativity. But that’s not what happened. Joy unbridled by dread, love unbound by insecurity, these feelings are worth fighting for. Your loved ones, unfiltered by every painful thing that’s ever happened to you, are more beautiful than you can imagine. The world is kinder and brighter and more complex than it appears filtered through fear. And I hope you all get the chance to see it.

Please do not listen to people like Poppy telling you that this is all you will ever be. Please. I listened to people like her for far too long. Don’t make the same mistakes I did.

Thank you so much.

[walkthefallout]

Been meaning to do this for forever now, thanks @mementokore for the tag!

Get to Know your Mutuals

When I first made this blog, I was a teenager and obsessed with two bands: Fall Out Boy and Walk the Moon. I wanted something that smashed both together that sounded cool- so Walk the Fallout was created! Ended up working out and just sticking.

What is the Origin of your Blog Title?

Oh dear. I haven't been active in Fandom spaces for a long while, and that goes for the ships I shipped too. So this is gonna be a mash of what I used to be obsessed with + the ones I'm currently obsessed with!

OTPs + Shipnames:

Stolitz (Blitz x Stolas- Helluva Boss),Klance (Voltron: Legendary Defenders), Bloodweave (Astarion x Gale - Baldurs Gate 3) WyllStarion (Wyll x Astarion), probably way more, but we don't have the time for all that 💜

That's a great Question. I love cool colors - Purples, Blues, Greens, and the various shades in between!

Favorite Color:

Baldurs Gate 3, Hades, Assassin's Creed: Unity, I'm a sucker for excellent stories, gorgeous artstyles, and various ways to play the game.

Favorite Game:

Everything from Epic:The Musical. Just A Man, Dangerous, Different Beast, Legendary, WOULD YOU FALL IN LOOOVE WITH ME AGAIIIN - also Case 143 by Stray Kids- AND CAST THE BRONZE BY RAYNES- I love music. It changes all the time but there are the current earworms.

Song Stuck in your Head:

I apologize. Alot. Half the time for things that don't need to be apologized for/did not involve me to apologize for something. I also make alot of weird noises when I'm feeling strong emotions (embarrassed, happy)- squeaks, sputters, meows on the odd occasion- it's involuntary as hell and I don't realize it's happening till I'm doing it.

Weirdest Habit/Trait:

Reading, Writing, Listening to music, singing, going on walks/hikes, listening/watching Dimension 20 and the various things on Dropout

Hobbies:

I'm a Lighting Technician for a stage lighting company! We lighting for Concerts, raves, award shows, you name it! It's my job to test, clean, and repair any lights for all those different scenarios!

If you work, what's your Profession:

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be?

I want to be a Producer for TV and or Stage. I fell in love with the production side of things when I was in Drama in High School, and since then I've been teaching myself sound editing, video editing- I went to College for it once upon a time, but 2020 hit and I had to put a pause on that and focus on taking care of my family. Maybe someday I'll get back to it.

Something you're good at:

I'm good at writing! At least, I think so. I love to world build and put characters into different scenarios to see how they would react. I'm also good at listening to people's issues - I like making people feel heard!

Something you're bad at:

Socializing. I cannot initiate conversations or talk on the spot to save my life. I use a script when in talking to people at work - and even if I think someone is cool or chill- I just hold those feelings in and die :)

Something you're love:

I adore storytelling in nearly every aspect so far. Musicals? Leitmotifs IN said musical? Film, television, animation, books, you name it, I can't get enough of it. I love the creativity that people express due to their imaginations and experiences. I love people, Man. The possibilities for creativity and compassion are infinite.

Dimension 20. Holy moly, I cannot talk ENOUGH about the beautiful storylines and character arcs that these gorgeously talented storytellers make together. It's D&D, it's Improv, it's collaborative storytelling at it's finest, AND we get super detailed settings and maps and Battlesets? And that's not even talking about the actual players and DMs THEMSLEVES- i will go on forever.

Something you're can talk for Hours off the cuff:

Spiders, Coconut, cruelty/selfishness for the sake of it, AI of any kind, honestly. And forcing others to confirm to one specific way of thinking/life.

Something you're Hate:

I love collecting Things at different times. I collect CDs, rocks, posters, tarot card decks, Boots- my current collection I'm actively working on is Photocards and Lightsticks of different Kpop groups!

Something you Collect:

Something you Forget:

...Alot. All the time. My short term memory is garbage, I will forget what you told me the moment you tell me a second or third thing in sequence 😭

That... is an excellent question! Physical touch and Quality time, I think. If we can just sit against eachother and watch a marathon together, I'm SO good.

What is your Love Language?

Favorite Movie/Show?

Oh BOY. So many, all the time. Dimension 20, Helluva Boss, and Queer Eye are my favorite shows right Now, but my favorite of all time is Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood.

As for movies, my favorite as of right now is Hundreds of Beavers. I am a SUCKER for Slapstick and clever storytelling that always comes back. It's for free on YouTube and I highly recommend it!!! Of all time though, I love the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Beauty and the Beast, Dirty Dancing, and The Boys in the Band. There's definitely more, but those are my main for now!

Chicken Enchiladas with green sauce are PEAK. Also, freshly baked Red Bean paste buns. I also love Poké and Sushi- fish is my favorite meat for sure especially raw. I also jsut love seafood in general. Even if I'm not sure I'll like something, I'll still try it bevause I love eating.

Favorite Food?

Favorite animal?

Owls! Screech Owls and Barn Owls specifically. I also love Dogs - labradors and Australian Sheppards, and cats! Also Ermines/Stoats!

What were you like as a child?

Great question. As far as I've been told, I was spoiled rotten but a pleasure to have in class! I made friends with everyone I was put next to, and I was also really bright with my school work itself, so I never got in trouble. I also was just a good kid, so I didn't do anything that was actually detrimental. As I got older, I got quieter though. Life happens, trauma happens. Things change, y'know?

Favorite subject in School?

Math, History! Math always felt like I was solving puzzles and every new formula was a new one to use/solve!

History was learning the story of the world, and I was obsessed with learning about all the different cultures, as well as the details of how my country came to be how it is.

Least favorite subject?

English. Ironic all things considered, but whenever it came to analyzing stories and interpreting them, my interpretations were always "wrong" and weren't what the teachers were looking for.

What's your best character trait?

What's your worst character trait?

Everything I do when it comes to others comes from a place of wanting to understand and help them. I make it a goal to be helpful and caring above all else.

I have a very hot temper. Specifically when things go wrong or someone is intentionally being mean/ignorant, my patience runs thin very fast 😅

I would live in a place of my own. With my own rules and my own space to genuinely relax and be myself with no expectations from others. Somewhere I could be quiet and not have to worry about taking care of other people every moment of the day.

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be?

An excellent question that I really don't have an answer to. I guess my grandma? The older I get, the more it realize I still have so many questions for her- about our family, her life, her advice... telling her the things I've experienced and learned about myself. It is what it is though. And I can only hope I'm Stull doing right by her 💜

If you could Travel in time, who would you want to meet?

Tag who you want to join as well!! I'd love to make some new Mutuals and hopefully this helps you make some as well! Let's see here

@sweetbee0108

@dknope07

@twistedkarmaa

@paranoidmoonart

Thats all I got, have fun!

[unpopularshipbracket]

Round 1a Match 16

Touko Kirigaya/Tsukushi Futaba/Mashiro Kurata (Bandori/BanG Dream!)

AO3 fic count: 0

Death/Bunnymund (Puss in Boots/Rise of the Guardians)

AO3 fic count: 2

Propaganda under the cut!

Bandori OT3

"Okay, so with these three, my shipping logic asks the question of whether it is gay to start a band with your two besties who you just met but immediately became attached to you and the idea of bands alike. The answer is yes. Mashiro, Tsukushi and Touko saw exactly one concert together at the very start of Morfonica's band story, and, after Mashiro began trying to start a band, Touko and Tsukushi immediately jumped on board, despite the facts that none of them had even touched an instrument before (except Tsukushi, who I think had played taiko drums before, but this isn't important), and this made them all super close. Later, when they'd recruited another member, the band had a bit of a fallout which caused Mashiro to briefly leave, and Touko and Tsukushi were both so upset by this that it interfered with their practice, and it was super obvious to even their new bandmate that they were just missing Mashiro. Then Mashiro apologized for the whole fallout and was happily accepted into the band again. This leads into a ton of events, since Bandori operates by progressing the story through different in-game events, which opened the story up for a lot of focus on their dynamic where Touko and Tsukushi's dynamic is pretty teasing from Touko's end but they still care for and respect each other a lot, Touko and Mashiro's dynamic is pretty similar since it's easy to poke fun at the mess that is Mashiro but for some reason Touko somehow ends up saying much gayer things to Mashiro all the time and helping to get her out of her comfort zone, and Tsukushi and Mashiro's dynamic, which I know is the most popular out of these three, is very devoid of this gentle teasing and is more based around mutual understanding, respect and shared experiences, since, instead of it being one of these two with an ever-confident Touko, it's somebody with super obviously low self-esteem (Mashiro) and somebody who seems very confident (to the point where the band story fallout I noted involved Mashiro being frustrated at Tsukushi because she saw her as somebody who was infinitely more talented and confident than her and that she was expecting too much from her) but also loses her confidence super quickly and very frequently loses faith in herself. Their dynamic is a little more focused on because a lot of their stories involve them taking inspiration from each other (such as in band story 2, which takes place after Tsukushi got a part-time job, and involves Tsukushi telling Mashiro that she wouldn't have even done that if she wasn't inspired by how confident Mashiro had grown). That being said, there is the underlying theme between the three of them just having a lot of admiration and trust in each other even if Touko rarely expresses it."

Deathster:

"I mean, life and death. Two hot furry men. What else is there not to love?"

[psychichomie]

List five things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last ten people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your followers, mutuals, and all the wonderful people on here!

Oh, okay!

To be honest I've never known how to do these little ask-box games, and I apologize to anyone who's tried to get me to do one before and I just didn't get it haha

Five Things that Make Me Happy:

Writing

The Grishaverse (from the collection of Leigh Bardugo's books)

The Strawhats (from Eiichiro Oda's "One Piece")

Gardening

The Fallout series

Fire Emblem, but mostly Fire Emblem: Three Houses

Now watch out! I'll try my best to keep the game moving and sneak this into more ask boxes

[its-sixxers]

Do you or your followers know of any Fallout blogs that don't involve drama over what faction is morally correct or whatever?

I apologize if this is a weird question to ask I just really enjoy writing for this franchise but my initial experience with the fandom has left me convinced I am going to get killed by an angry mob for just breathing wrong

I’m not super active in the Fallout fandom anymore beyond posting my own stuff, which has been best for me swerving any of the usual fandom brushfires that start up. The Fallout adjacent blogs I follow these days are old mutuals who also have migrated to different fandoms as their primary but still post the odd Fallout related content, but I’ll post this ask in hopes my followers and mutuals can sound off in the notes if they meet the criteria!

Fallout being a large fandom means you’re going to get a bunch of different and very passionate opinions, and Tumblr being a website that leans into the activist space mixed with Fallout touching on real world politics with its themes does make it a powder keg at times since a lot of us have personal resonance with its themes. Great work comes out of the fandom due to it of course, so double edged sword. It being a longer running series (New Vegas is almost old enough to drive) also means you have a decade+ of old wounds and conflicts that you can unwittingly reopen. 😅

Regardless of what you write or draw there are going to be people who take issue with it, which can be disheartening if you’re new to the scene. My best advice is to make use of tumblr’s block and blacklist function, tag your work accordingly so that people who aren’t into it won’t be coming across it, and invest into a small circle of people who do enjoy your work, and to prioritize making work for yourself rather than others which is a pretty difficult mindset to get into but once you do it makes the greater fandom experience way better. Like most of my work is canon x oc and some people HATE that but I refuse to quit lol.

Anyways this turned into a long ramble, sorry about the wall of text but hopefully you can find your niche. :)

[magnetarbeam]

Scandal of the Century (WIP 2)

[The changes are mostly additions to the scene I wasn't finished with in the last version, and I did manage to work some of my thoughts about Jaina and Tahiri into an actual fic for the first time.]

“Do they have any clue about me?” Zekk asked.

Jaina and Jag considered their mutual fiancee's question as Javis Tyrr's holonews footage revealing the two's relationship played on the viewscreen in front of them.

“I don't think so,” Jaina admitted.

“I haven't seen any evidence of it,” Jag agreed after a second. “And we would have.”

The grins that crossed Jaina and Zekk's faces told Jag that whatever they were plotting over their unusually strong bond could be nothing but mischief. That didn't necessarily mean it was a bad idea, but one of them had to be reasonable, and that was usually Jag.

”All right,“ he sighed, ”let's hear it.“

”Since the nexu's already halfway out of the cage,“ Jaina said, her mischievous smirk widening, ”I think we should have a little fun with it.“

—

As much as she would have wanted to see the looks on the Masters' faces, the three of them did feel that Jaina and Zekk's duty as Jedi obligated them to let the Council in on it.

”It would help draw media attention away from the Order,“ Kyle Katarn said contemplatively.

“Which we desperately need,” Cilghal agreed.

Acting Grand Master Kenth Hamner pressed a hand to his forehead and sighed in exhausted exasperation. He said nothing, and they all knew that a specific direct order would be the only way to stop Jaina and Zekk from carrying out their scheme.

Kyp had been grinning in anticipation ever since he heard the proposal. ”I can't wait to see the look on Daala's face when you finish with this.”

—

“You could start a whole new Imperial custom,” Jaina joked, making fun of Jag for accidentally shooting his deputy minister in the foot as he foiled the recent assassination attempt. Zekk grinned as the playful banter went on.

Not for the first time, Zekk thanked the Force for how much both of his lovers had healed in the last few years, since those days off on Kashyyyk when they had all collectively realized how they truly felt about each other, after Jag had had to deliberately set himself up for Jaina to deliberately almost kill him in order to get through to her about how much of herself she was losing to her fixation on her training.

“So, your imperial majesty,” he asked Jag playfully, “does Conspiracy: A Methodology offer any advice on the best time to start our little scheme?”

Jag hummed in consideration. “If I ever get my hands on a copy, I'll let you know.”

———

The viewscreen wall displaying an image of Alderaan blew out, and an assassin entered, followed by two YVH droids. Jaina, Zekk, Leia, Han and Jag felled the attackers before the Pangalactus security personnel even entered the room. But then they were standing amidst the wreckage, and Jag was on the receiving end of a fusillade of profuse apologies.

And Jaina shot Zekk a grin. Now? she asked over their bond.

Now, he agreed.

Conveniently standing behind Jag, but in full view of the other observers, the two pulled into a passionate kiss.

———

”Well,“ Lecersen remarked after a moment of stunned silence. “I didn't see that coming.”

”No way,” Treen laughed as the conspirators observed the immediate fallout of the expected failure. ”This is too perfect.“

Lecersen smiled and began drafting the holonews article, with the scandalous capture as the cover image.

———

Over their mercifully uninterrupted second attempt at that night's dinner, Jaina didn't even notice that her ADHD meds were starting to wear off, because she was so hyperfocused on her anticipation.

She found what she was looking for even faster than she'd expected to.

The rest of the conversation, whatever it was, stopped in its tracks as she collapsed into helpless laughter, dropping the datapad on the table.

”Oh, this has gotta be good,“ Han remarked in anticipation.

Tahiri, who had joined them on the way back from Pangalactus, was quicker than Zekk in snatching the datapad from the table.

“'Jedi Cheating Scandal!'“ Jaina's sister read excitedly, raising her voice to be heard over Jaina's cackling. ”'The revelation of Head of State Jagged Fel's relationship with Jedi Knight Jaina Solo has drawn plenty of criticism from many, particularly Fel's detractors among the Imperial Remnant.'”

Tahiri paused for a moment as Jaina finally managed to get a grip, but the ”Galactic Empire“ correction didn't come because Jag had food in his mouth.

”'But it appears the situation may be even more complicated than anyone had realized,'“ Tahiri continued. ”'Mere hours ago, Head of State Fel was dining at the Pangalactus restaurant with his girlfriend, her parents, and fellow Jedi Knight Zekk, when an assassin blasted through a wall and attempted to kill Fel, followed by two YVH combat droids that attempted to kill the Organa-Solos in an apparently unrelated attack.

”'As the local security personnel arrived and conversed with Fel, Jedi Solo and Jedi Zekk kissed each other in full view of the holocams.'”

Tahiri paused for a moment, staring at the datapad incredulously, before continuing. “'Historically, Jedi Solo is not known for subtle approaches to problems, so it is quite a shock that she could keep a man as observant as Fel in the dark about a secret affair.

“'If Head of State Fel has not already heard of this story, he undoubtedly will soon. We wish him the best.'”

“And so,” Tahiri concluded dramatically, ”the Trickster works her magic again.“

”Kriff off, Ri.“ Jaina's smile belied the halfhearted eyeroll with which she habitually reacted to her sister's references to the act of deception that had long since become a running joke between them.

The nickname Ri was the syllable shared in the names from both of the personalities who had merged to form the individual who was called Tahiri today, and might or might not choose to be called Riina tomorrow. One never really knew.

[I don't really know where to go next with this. I've thought of having some scene spun off Jag's meeting with Lecersen in reaction to the attack at Pangalactus, which takes us to the end of Backlash. I might skip to mid(?)-Allies when the Skykhai vid goes viral, and the "breakup" of Jaina and Jag would also be staged for drama.]

[hms-tardimpala]

marriage of convenience bagginshield for the WIP game! the title has me 👀

EEEEEEE!! I'm so happy you asked about this one because (even though I love all my WIPs) this is my current baby. Apologies if this gets long.

Now, I love stories about royal marriages: they can be loveless, hateful, friendly, a business relationship, a mutual beard to hide behind, any number of things. And the potential for sexual frustration is high, and I like that.

I was having fun worldbuilding's Erebor's economical renaissance, and wondered "where would Bilbo and Thorin stand in this universe?" (although I like the story of The Hobbit as it is, in fic, I want Thorin to live and deal with the fallout of his actions) and the most interesting answer was that their relationship is fucked.

In my fic, they fell in love on the road, but while Thorin was goldsick, he married Bilbo in a fit of possessiveness, and was abusive. (to be clear, not sexual assault, but he was really pushy and possessive and ultimately, as we see in the movie, violent.) They stay married because Bilbo knows he wouldn't fit in and would be lonely if he went back to the Shire, and Thorin would have to find another consort and have an heir, and he refuses to pass on his susceptibility to goldsickness. It's better for the kingdom's stability. Also, the person they fell in love with is still there, right? (no they're not, these are all the wrong reasons, can you tell this is a terrible idea?)

I want to show how they become a very efficient ruling team as the years go on but on the personal side their relationship dies. I'm going to create a marriage that is so depressing. In public they look fine, but in private they don't touch, don't discuss their feelings, have separate rooms, etc. I want them to have created these coping mecanisms, walls of fear and guilt at the very beginning, but being unable to take them down when they want to later (which they will, yay).

It's about healing, abuse, duty, addiction (if I can fit it in, otherwise this one'll be a fic of its own), friendship, desire, and how these things mix together when they shouldn't and the result is ugly and not therapy-approved. And I want it to have a happy ending because I believe in healing and forgiveness.

Snippet time! Sorry it's long, I'm a wordy bastard. Careful, the vibes are rancid:

The wizard’s expression darkened, but he started moving again nonchalantly. “We had a similar nightly discussion some time ago. I warned you about Thorin and the effect dragon sickness would have on him. You told me you were not afraid of him, despite everything. Have you revised your opinion?” Bilbo kept walking, but it felt like a heavy stone had dropped inside his stomach. A shiver crept up his neck as the painful sensation of strong hands on his thighs and sides came back to him. He remembered the throat-tightening fear as he listened to Thorin rant and rave, go from gentle to threatening in an instant, Bilbo in his wake never knowing if this time he would escape the king’s fury or be discovered for the traitor he was and choked by a hand heavy with gold rings. He saw again the leering, the unbridled desire, the possessiveness. Thorin covering him in riches and bedding him on top of his cursed gold like he was one of his things to use as he pleased. [...] What happened didn’t matter because Bilbo couldn’t afford to grant it importance. The fact was that when he married Thorin Oakenshield, he married a dragon. A dragon that had since then disappeared, but who could tell that it wasn’t lying in wait, observing Bilbo hungrily from behind beloved blue eyes? “I haven’t,” he told Gandalf. “I don’t fear Thorin, I fear what he could become if he’s not watched.” “It is not your responsibility to watch over him, Bilbo,” the wizard said gently. It is. And not because Bilbo had taken hollow-sounding vows during a travesty of a ceremony hastily held in the treasury. He hadn’t needed a title or a formal bonding to jump between Azog and Thorin, to deliver him from giant spiders or the cells of Mirkwood, or to endorse his plea to the Master of Laketown.

This is gonna be unhealthy before it gets better.

Anyway, I hope you don't mind how long this got. Thank you so much for asking, it made me so happy to tell you about it 💙

[leandra-kinard]

About the other day...

I’ve had a few days to think about the whole debacle and the successive fallout; I’ve talked to people outside of the tumblr-sphere about it who were various degrees of constructively critical and empathetic, and I’ve read and looked up what people elsewhere said about the very same issue. I’m not going to get into that part in detail, but I want to get something across – as a general PSA if you will.

First of, I am going to concede that it wasn’t clever to post my opposing viewpoint in the same post; I should have made my own one. People who are passionate about a point and think they’re being righteous in expressing it (because they do come from a good or at least valid starting point of wanting social justice and awareness for specific issues) don’t want someone disagreeing with them in their own post. I personally always found that to be a pity because I truly believe we need discourse to open our eyes to other viewpoints, which is needed to find common ground and to live together in society instead of succumbing to pure tribalism, group think and polarization. But it is what it is. People will get defensive (sometimes justly, sometimes irrationally), and that’s a fact I should have understood long ago instead of naively hoping for something else.

Secondly – and there was my biggest mistake – I allowed myself to be petty about it. I thought I had laid out my argumentation rationally and factually, and for the most part I did, but I slipped into smug pettiness with one part of the argument, namely the part with the slashes being too much effort. That’s not even something that matters to me in the grand scale; it’s just the surface-level ‘symptom’ of the initial conclusion and resulting claim. It was always about the logical fallacy first and foremost to me, and I didn’t bring that across in the right way.

So, for those two things – assuming other people, like me, generally welcome debate on most issues, and allowing myself some pettiness and thereby irrationality – I apologize. (Which most of you who have made up their minds about me will see as a non-apology, but I do have some integrity and am not willing to give it up to suit you).

Despite what I just said in parentheses, I can’t deny that the whole fiasco didn’t wear on me, even hurt me. I’ve had an incredibly difficult year mental-health wise; the state of the world and the political landscape more than just worry me; I’ve had personal setbacks and challenges, and on top of it, a ‘fandom war’ that’s impaired my enjoyment of my main fandom to a not insignificant extent. So, all in all, 1/10, would not recommend.  

In light of all that, what happened those few days ago on here directly but also elsewhere was tough. The wild conclusion jumping, the unchecked lies that some people found okay to spread to other users via anon messages – just blatant generalizations without context – were infuriating and hurtful. I should not care what some strangers on the internet think and say about me, and for the most part I don’t, but I do care when it affects online relationships I valued, when even mutual accept these claims without taking a moment to go “Wait a minute, is that really so?” i.e. “Is she really this and that type of bigot or are people jumping to irrational conclusions here?”

But that’s a general flaw with tumblr-culture. One person marks someone or something as problematic, and the rest of the group – or a large part at least – automatically accept it. It’s the same way with fictional characters, or themes/storylines in TV shows. When one person says Ted Templatechar is a racist/homophobe/misogynist, a good portion of the fandom who also didn’t really like Ted Templatechar will agree and will pat themselves on the shoulder for recognizing the problematic aspect in the media they consume.

Here lies the hypocrisy that I so often observe and find very frustrating, because the same people who make Ted out to be a misogynist will defend Rod against another group in fandom who accuse Rod of being a homophobe. And so on.

All of that stems from an initial bias. None of these people are completely neutral or rational when they make these claims about characters (or actors… or other fans), because they will pick and choose what they agree or disagree with and then defend their position with passion and vehemence.

And, in a way that is fine. We are allowed to defend our beliefs, and we’re allowed to “curate our experience” and to cut out people who defend beliefs that annoy us. 

What we should NOT do, in my opinion, is always setting these beliefs up as absolutes. If someone brings up enough and solid enough arguments against an initial interpretation, we should at least open ourselves up to see it as an alternative and maybe equally valid take. Few people are capable of doing that, especially here on tumblr – which is at the very least disappointing, given the level of (often academic) education people on here have as opposed to other spheres.

Now, opinions on fictional characters and how we interpret their actions should not matter as much. In an academic environment they would not (and nobody would accuse the interpreter for being a bigot just because they don’t see the same kind of bigotry in the fictional character as someone else interprets there to be), but, despite the aforementioned higher educational standard, tumblr is not academia (and here’s another of my mistakes, because I too often treat it as such).

Tumblr is a melting pot of ‘misfits’, of in large parts members of LGBT+, in large parts mentally ill or neurodivergent, predominantly female, and possibly with a larger POC percentage as other groups (not 100% sure on that part, but possible). In short, we are the ones who get ostracized by society more than people who don’t belong into those groups. I belong to three of the aforementioned groups, so I do know what that’s like, namely living in a real world that is not as accepting and supportive of issues that are specific to my identity and my struggles, and then finding likeminded people on here who just get it.

Until they don’t.

There’s a lot of “us vs. them” group think on here, of wanting to protect oneself by identifying enemies and people that may want to harm us. That is understandable, but it is also very often wrong, and very often causes the same harm that people aim to oppose. In pointing the finger at someone else for an assumed bigotry (and yes, that includes fictional characters because there is always a projection onto the ‘messenger’ when discussing these interpretations; if Ted Templatechar is a racist, then Tumbrluser123 defending Ted is a racist too!), we easily fall into the trap of potentially becoming a bigot ourselves.

“Ted Templatechar is a racist!” – “No, he’s not. But he’s gay, so you’re actually a homophobe!!” – “You’re just saying that to hide your own racism!” – “No, you’re just saying that to hide your own homophobia!” – “I’m a lesbian.” – “Well there’s internalized homophobia.”

And so on, you catch my drift.

Which isn’t me saying it’s never okay to point out things that could, in certain contexts, fall into any of the aforementioned or other bigotries, but the blanket assumption – unchecked, unquestioned, unreflected – that something is what you initially perceive it to be is a sign of intellectual failure and dishonesty, of prejudice on your own part. And more so, the exaggerated generalizations to go from one instance that may be bigoted and mark the whole person out to be a bigot in their entirety is not only intellectually flawed, it’s dangerous in multiple ways. “That thing that you just said? You know, that’s kinda homophobic,” is a completely different challenge than “You are a homophobe.” There’s no redeeming that once you bear that mark.

I know what I stand for; I know what I’ve opposed and spoken out against, and what I've defended, not just online but actually in real life, many times. I remember conversations I’ve had where I challenged people in real life on their beliefs. I know what I believe about others and the rights and protections they deserve. I know my understanding of power structures and systemic oppression. I know what I’m about. It should not matter as much what some highly biased, close-minded strangers on the internet think about me. But, in many ways, it does. It does more than I wish it did, because I, too, am part of this group of misfits and have a ‘home’ here. There are issues that people in real life don’t understand as deeply as people here do. And beyond that, there simply are interests, a type of humor, an enthusiasm for the same things that I do not find even among my close real-life friends.

So yes, the last few days were tough for me, because this is my community. My hobby, my source of escapism from a world that doesn’t ‘vibe’ with my personality the same way the tumblr-sphere does, and from a world that isn’t always so accepting and understanding of individuals.

Apparently, neither is this world, though. People everywhere are guilty of group-think, or tribalism, of bias and close-mindedness. My need to push people to challenge their own views because I naively, desperately want to believe that we can be better than that (better than irrational, egocentric and entitled people who put their own narrow world-view above all others), means running head-first against a wall.  And as I said before, by now, I’ve been ‘concussed’ often and drastically enough to have learned my lesson. And yet…

It’s incredibly hard for me to hold back in such situations because my mind just keeps circling around these topics. I’ve had situations in which I couldn’t sleep because my brain would not STFU about it, to the point where I had to get back up and type out my reply/post on whatever matter bothered me. This is a me-problem, but it’s got a lot to do with my ADHD (for which I finally have a diagnosis now, which explains so much… If I were super petty I could accuse all of you who don’t want to empathize with that as ableist. See? This whole game of being super aware and super social-warrior-like active can backfire so easily!).

I do have to learn to let those things go, and to observe more than interfere, to understand that tribalism is – while regrettable – natural and can only be fought with gentle pushbacks at the opportune moments, and maybe not even then. You don’t deradicalize a neo-Nazi by calling them stupid, and you also don’t deradicalize the “I am offended, therefore you and everyone else who disagrees with me is a bigot” crowd by trying to win a debate contest. To assume I could achieve that was arrogant, I’ll admit that (but, as I said before, also naively idealistic, because I don’t want to be right just to be right; I want to be right to make things better.)

I also have to accept that tumblr isn’t the real world; it’s a microcosm of its own that, in many ways, is very far removed from how the real world operates, and me wanting to combine and reconcile the two spheres is an often futile endeavor. My interests are rooted here, but my mindset is much more rooted in the real world, which certainly is a challenge to balance that I have, evidently, once again failed.

This has gotten really long already, and I doubt most of you will even read the whole thing. I can’t blame you if you don’t, because ‘ain’t nobody got time for that’, but if you just skim-read this and come at me with wild accusations, I won’t take you seriously. If you want to constructively, politely debate with respectful dialogue, I’m all for that.

I’ve been on here for 13 years, and even though I was close to just leaving it all behind Marie Condo style (because yeah, no joy sparked lately whatsoever), I am not going to do that. I’m not leaving. You can’t drive me away just because some of you have set your minds on me being one of the enemies. I know you are wrong in that; like I said, I know what my beliefs are and what I stand for. If you see me vastly differently then you don’t really know me.

I am more than just my online presence. It’s time I fully understand that, too and learn to stop defining myself so much by my fandom activities.

I will also try to not engage in controversial topics (as much). There’s little point to it that actually brings me or anyone else a true benefit.

It’s regrettable, but it is what it is.

[syzyg3tic]

Yuletide Letter 2024

Hi! Thanks so much for writing for me! I’m excited to see what you come up with :) Here are some general likes and dislikes, as well as fandom-specific thoughts. Feel free to think of this as a grab bag of starting points or inspiration, not hardline prompts (of course)! I am equally interested in all three fandoms, so have fun with whatever you want to write!

My ao3 is here, and ALSO I love treats.

General Likes: -Character study/character motivation exploration -Expressing emotions physically–sex or kissing or any physical interaction as conversation/argument/apology/confession/goodbye -Characters B&C talking/making out about their mutual feelings for Character A -Missing scenes/vignettes from various points pre-mid-post canon -Reveal moments (confessions, when a couple is discovered by friends, in general just the fallout from the moment when characters have to stick by the choices they’ve made about their feelings because other people know the feeling, now)

NSFW likes: Again, no pressure to write explicit fic, but if you do, here are some things I like to read about! -Sensation play -Breathplay -Solo/fantasizing -Sex as conversation–sex that’s also about forgiveness/goodbye/someone else/admission/catharsis/grief -First times/exploration of each other

Dislikes/DNWs: -Setting changing AUs (canon divergence is fine) -A/B/O dynamics -Soulmate/one true love stuff (subversions of this are welcome if you write Gen Y, though!) -Mpreg/pregnancy/kidfic -illness fic -Noncon -Scat/pee -Non canonical character death

Requests: 1) เธอ ฉัน ฝัน เรา | I Saw You in My Dream Characters Requested: Yu, Ai

Why I like it: Childhood Friends to Lovers as a trope does nothing for me, but as it turns out, this sort of Childhood Enemies (Weird Crush On Your Friend’s Big Brother/Neighbor You Like To Tease) To Lovers is an incredible catnip to me. Yu is my favorite character. I think a lot about how the deaths of his parents shaped him. He was such a happy-go-lucky little annoying kid, and then all of a sudden he had to take care of his brother. I love how he stays mischievous, but he also learns how to be a responsible adult, because he has to. I also loved the Yu/Ai dynamic soooo much–the way Yu starts to see Ai in a new cute light, and how he wants to pull his pigtails romantically all of a sudden, and how that makes him feel guilty as hell.

Concepts: -Any kind of Yu as he grapples with what it is like to be sort of stuck between being a kid who lost his parents, and being a guardian to his brother. The times we see the ache on Yu’s face as she watches his neighbors be a perfect family really got to me (especially because he ends up a part of their family by the end!!). I love the way Ai’s parents sort of step up for them, but Yu does still have mega Eldest Sibling Disease, and I love that we see that manifest in a character who is kind of a dipshit pest child (complimentary). How does Ai become such a good grownup with a steady job related to his passions after this trauma? How does his relationship with Ai keep him tethered to the whimsical part of himself? Feel free to write Yu/Ai shipfic or focus on Yu in general. I didn't request Yo because I don't NEED him to be there, but you can feel free to include him, or Yu's feelings about trying to care for him, if you like!

-Yu agonizing over his feelings for Ai. Feeling guilty because he used to see him as a little brother, but now he super definitely wants to fuck him. I am not particularly interested in actual incest or underage flavors, but I AM interested in Ai worrying about them–worrying that his attraction is somehow fucked up or that it will fuck up Ai (EDITING THIS IN AFTER SIGNUPS sorry but it occurs to me that i feel like Ai WOULD be into the taboo element of their age gap, so if you feel like having him explore it, go for it). Worrying that he is going to ruin the family he has left with this. I can get into all kinds of Yu sexuality headcanons, from Yu having thought he was straight till Ai’s glowup, to Yu knowing he was queer, and then being like “ahh fuck” when he realizes Ai is too. Yu jerking off and feeling guilty.

-What was their first time like? I would love to read something that gets into either/both of their heads and shows what it was like for them to be finally kissing/fucking this person they’ve known their whole lives but never expected to be doing this with.

2) แค่ที่แกง | Only Boo! (TV 2024) Characters Requested: Jang, Payos

Why I like it: This show was just so fresh! It almost didn't feel like GMMTV for a while! I loved the setup, the main pairing, the music (for once all the singing was a plus), and just how sweet it all was. I, of course, also became obsessed with the concept of Payos/Jang. I just love it when a guy is unrequitedly obsessed with one person for sooo long, and then out of nowhere someone else comes along and they realize there are other options in this life than pining forever.

Concepts: -Canon divergent Payos/Jang, either as hookup or endgame! Jang seemed pretty serious about the rules when he cornered Kang in the bathroom, so it would be pretty sexy of Payos to tempt him. Maybe they Almost hook up a bunch of times but don’t because of the Rules. Or maybe they find silly horny loopholes, like “it says no DATING, not no kissing practice or instructional blowjobs to get Payos’s mind off Potae, or to get him good at sex for when Potae finally wises up” (which, in my mind palace, he will not).

-Payos does seem to be able to be honest with Jang in ways he’s not with anyone else--about his feelings about fame, about Potae, etc. I’d like to see them work through mutually knowing there’s a Vibe there, and what it means. Payos might also have fun realizing that it feels nice to have someone genuinely want to kiss him. This can stay friendly if you’re not interested in writing them get together, but I am also down for them genuinely catching feelings for each other, and getting together officially once the rules say they can, or having this be part of why Jang is so on board with changing them.

-I didn’t request him, but Potae can be present, either pining, or realizing he really just missed his friend and he is a heterosexual, or, hell, he can regain friendship with Payos and join them as a third, once Payos is well and truly over him and it’s just for fun. Or Potae can just watch and feel like he missed out. Or toss ‘em all in a messy polyamorous situation if you like!

My only DNW is for Payos/Potae only endgame.

3) วัยรุ่นวุ่นYรัก | Gen Y: The Series (TV 2020) Characters Requested: Thanu, Phai

Why I like it: This show is just a standard lil uni bl, but it has some of the most bonkers love polygons for the side characters i have ever witnessed. I love the attention put into the characterization, I love Mark just endlessly. He’s so annoying, god bless. It was gearing up to be a favorite, but then I hated the ending of s1, lmao. It was a cute idea to have the audience vote for who should get with who in season 2, but turns out I have a different opinion than most of the voters, so. Here we are. Also, i HAVE watched s2 but i don't care for it as much as s1, so you're fine to write for me if you've only seen s1, but if you've seen both, feel free to include some s2 things.

The element I am MOST obsessed with in this show is Thanu. Just. Imagine your terminally ill BFF skips town because he doesn’t want to tell his BF he’s dying, and he tells you to keep watch over the BF until he can try some experimental treatment. And then UH OH!! You fall for his BF and get with him and feel SO guilty about it. AND THEN!!!! Your friends go on a day cruise and you accidentally get left behind at port with one of your friends’ little brothers, who you only know because you saw him from afar at a coffee shop once and drew a portrait of him. So now when you touch him accidentally at the port, you both have sexy visions of your future together.

This poor grown man is trying so hard to be a selfless, loyal person, and the cards of fate are simply stacked in his favor and no one else’s (until the audience voting anyway smh). It’s just so delightful. I love a man who just keeps self sabotaging by trying to please everyone else until he ends up just hurting everyone! Wow! What if he got everything he wanted instead!

Concepts: Any Thanu-centric fic will make me happy! I really wanted Thanu/Phai to be endgame, but ALAS. If you are down to write them, I would love anything involving them!

-It can be a canon divergence where Thanu decides to be selfish and go for it with Phai. I would love to see them break the tension physically after sooo long walking circles around their mutual attraction. It can end before anyone finds out, or you can have them tell people about their situation, or you can have Mark and Kit find out (walk in on them ohoho?) and lose their ever loving minds about it (with or without added coming to an understanding later that life and love are complicated and the heart wants what it wants) -If you aren’t interested in writing them being endgame, I am also interested in just Thanu’s agonized thought process as he makes these choices. Feel free to lean in on the tragedy of this big lovely thing he’s allowing himself to miss out on. Guilty jerkoff session? A time they Almost get together but don’t? -I am not usually into soulmate absolutism stuff, and one thing i love about this show is how it sets up that soulmates COULD be a thing in-universe, but that people’s choices are what matter most. Circumstance could lead to any number of wild combinations of hearts working out, or being tragic near-misses. I would love anything that delves into this concept that Thanu and Phai mean SOMETHING to each other, and what it means for them to choose to go for it or not, what does a shared vision mean when there is no such thing as one right answer, etc. -I talked mostly about Thanu’s brainworms, but I love Phai a lot also, and would love to see inside his brain too. Let these boys make selfish reckless decisions!!